Historical Professions That Actually Sucked: Part 25 Streetcar Operator to Lens Grinder

              Many of these jobs you may see are servant roles since there were many of them in the great houses from the early modern to after World War II. There were so many different kinds of maids from scullery to lady’s maid. Cooks often supervised with cooking food for both upstairs and downstairs. While you also have your chauffeurs, stable grooms, coachmen, groundskeepers, and gamekeepers outside the mansion. Anyway, perhaps you imagined yourself as a Knight Templar going on a Crusade. How about a wayfarer? Or maybe a lighthouse keeper at some remote location. In this post, here are ten more historical jobs and their dark realities.

241. Streetcar Operator – In their heyday, trolleys were often a quaint form of transportation that went away far too soon and now only exist in San Francisco and the Neighborhood of Make-Believe. Yet, being a streetcar operator was hardly a grand adventure. First, streetcar operators worked very long hours and often went literal years without a single scheduled day off. Second, during the early 1910s, the average streetcar operator earned 19-20 cents an hour, making staying afloat a constant struggle. Third, streetcar companies kept high turnover rates and frequently used spies or secret riders to catch workers in “irregular activities” firing them on the spot without a hearing. Fourth, early trolleys offered almost no protection from the elements, leaving operators freezing in winter and baking in summer on open platforms. Fifth, standing for 10-14 hours straight while manually cranking heavy controllers and hand-brakes wrecked operators’ backs and joints. Sixth, driving massive, unyielding streetcars through chaotic, mixed dirt-road traffic of horses, pedestrians, and early automobiles caused constant near-collisions. Seventh, conductors had to deal with overcrowding, fare disputes, and unruly passengers face-to-face with no backup. Lastly, when unions finally unionized for basic rights, companies regularly held massive forces of violent strikebreakers, resulting in bloody street battles. And unfortunately, street cars would later fall by the wayside in most cities with the rise of buses.

242. Cook – In great houses and restaurants cooks often created dishes for those upstairs and downstairs. But a cook’s life in the olden days was anything but tasty. First, cooking meant constantly hauling heavy wood, tending open hearths, and breathing in thick, lung-destroying smoke in poorly ventilated rooms. Daily hazards without protective gear included severe burns, scalding liquids, heavy cast iron, and open flames. Second, every ingredient required manual processing from scratch. This means plucking poultry, grinding grain by hand, and chopping massive amounts of firewood. Third, urban historical cooks often faced ingredients secretly poisoned by merchants, such as bread cut with toxic alum or chalk, or cheese dyed with dangerous lead. Fourth, food preservation entirely relied on heavy salting, smoking, or drying, meaning cooks constantly managed near-spoiled staples and seasonal scarcity. Fifth, cooking and butchering residue soaked into skin, hair, and clothing, making the physical stench of the job a permanent personal trait. Finally, old cookbooks omitted temperatures, exact measurements, and precise timings, forcing cooks to rely purely on trial and error.

243. Scullery Maid – Amongst the cooks assistants is the scullery maid who often cleans the dishes. But the scullery maid was a miserable job for teenage girls, some even as young as 10-12. Not to mention, it’s the lowest, hardest-working, and dirtiest job in the domestic staff hierarchy. First, scrubbing pots, pans, and massive stone floors meant standing on thin wooden mats with freezing water constantly splashing onto their feet and skirts. Cleaning heavy grease and soot off metal cookware required caustic lye soap and sharp sand, which tore up their skin and caused painful sores. Second, before toilets, they’re tasked with emptying and cleaning the stinky chamber pots used by higher-ranking indoor servants. Third, scullery maids were always the first people to wake up in the morning, often lighting the heavy kitchen fires as well as the last to go to bed at night. Fourth, they received the lowest pay and took orders not just from the master and mistress, but also from the cook and other servants, too. Lastly, breaks were practically non-existent and scullery maids rarely ate with the rest of the staff because someone always had to watch the kitchen. But if you happen to serve a brooding impoverished aristocrat, you might find yourself as mistress of the house if you keep at it. Albeit if he catches you playing dress-up in his mom’s old clothes when you’re in your late teens.

244. Knight Templar – In the public imagination, being a knight templar during the Crusades seemed like being the ultimate crusader. Yet, in reality, it was one many wouldn’t wish for themselves. First, vows banned kissing any woman (including their own mother), eating more than 3 times a week, wearing fancy clothes, or having any personal property. Second, knights endured bloody frontline battles, heavy armor in hot climates, and high risks of slow, painful deaths from battlefield infections and disease. Finally, what brought down the Knights Templar was their tendency to loan money to certain people who were unable to pay it back. When King Philip IV of France was deeply in debt to them, he had them arrested on October 13, 1307, tortured into giving false confessions of heresy, and burned at the stake.

245. Wayfarer – In the public imagination wayfarers are often seen as brave adventurers. But the life of one was far from an exciting romp. Since it was a time when people rarely traveled outside their hometown unless they absolutely had. Or if they wanted to go on a pilgrimage. First, muddy tracks turned to deep ruts or swamps, forcing people walk 20-30 miles a day on foot. Second, due to lack of Gore-Tex or thermal gear, travelers faced freezing rain, scorching sun, and snow wearing heavy wool and leather. Third, travelers experienced constant foot rot, severe blisters, infected cuts, and ruined joints from carrying heavy packs without ergonomic support. Fourth, outlaws, corrupt local lords, and rogue soldiers targeted isolated travelers on lonely roads for whatever meager coins or clothes they carried. So always take a dagger with you and use the buddy system. Fifth, water sources carried lethal bacteria like cholera and dysentery, forcing many to drink weak small beer or wine instead. Sixth, inns were filthy, overcrowded, flea-ridden sties where patrons shared beds with strangers or farm animals. Seventh, strangers without local papers or noble patronage were viewed with extreme suspicion as spies, vagrants, or criminals. Lastly, local xenophobia meant wayfarers were often cheated on prices, denied help, or driven out of towns before nightfall.

246. Jockey – Given how widespread horse racing is and how much people like betting on it, jockeys have been a mainstay in our popular imagination. Especially in the lawn jockey statues in many people’s front lawns. However, historical jockeys had it particularly rough on the track. First, early tracks were uneven. Crowded pack riding led to catastrophic crashes. Riders regularly broke bones, suffered permanent concussions, and spent months recovering in hospitals with little to no medical safety nets. Second, jockeys faced strict, low weight limits and used dangerous methods to drop pounds. Riders frequently induced vomiting, used harsh laxatives, sweated out water in heavy wool suits, and fasted for days, leading to chronic fainting and long-term health damage. Third, in the United States, white jockeys actively bullied, boxed out, ran rivals into the rails, and struck black competitors with riding crops during races. Lastly, despite dominating early American horse racing (winning 15 of the first 28 Kentucky Derbies), black jockeys were systematically stripped of licenses, physically threatened, and completely purged from the tracks by the 1920s due to Jim Crow racism.

247. Footman – At any great house, a footman was a male servant who was meant to be seen. Yet, the life of a footman wasn’t one that Downton Abbey would depict. First, days began at dawn which was around 5 or 6 AM and regularly didn’t end until 11 PM or later after the master’s household finally went to sleep. Second, beneath the fancy clothes, footmen did the estate’s heavy lifting, carrying massive scuttles of coal up multiple flights of stairs, moving heavy furniture, and lugging multi-course silver platters. Third, early footmen sometimes worked as “running footmen” who had to sprint or jog alongside moving carriages for miles to clear obstacles, risking severe injury and exhaustion. Fourth, hiring footmen heavily depended on superficial traits. Employers judged men like livestock, requiring them to be well over 6 ft tall with well-shaped legs to look good in tight knee-breeches and silk stockings. Fifth, because footmen stood outside or walked with the family in public view, they were frequent targets of street bullies throwing mud at their white stockings or pinched their legs to see if they used padding. Sixth, footmen slept communally in cramped spaces such as the butler’s pantry and had almost no time off, personal life, or social autonomy. Finally, they faced constant micro-management and reprimands from the family and upper servants like the butler. While they were trapped at the bottom of the domestic hierarchy. But at least the job wasn’t as bad as the scullery maid.

248. Window Cleaner – With the rise of skyscrapers came the rise of the window cleaner. But cleaning windows in the past was nothing like having to clean an office building the local pigeons often used as a toilet. First, window cleaners balanced on high-rise ledges, wooden scaffolding, or hung from simple bosun’s chains without harnesses or modern safety anchors. Large wooden ladders were too heavy to carry, hard to set up on uneven city streets, and prone to slipping against wet or icy buildings. Second, cleaners worked in freezing winter winds, rain, and scorching sun while trying to maintain balance high above the ground. Third, before the invention of modern expensive poles and purified water systems in the mid-20th century, everything had to be hand-scrubbed up close. Since the efficient rubber-bladed squeegee wasn’t invented until the 1930s, drying relied heavily on rags and chamois leather. Lastly, cleaners scrubbed with basic soap, vinegar, or ammonia mixtures using stiff rags, requiring massive physical effort to cut through heavy urban coal soot and grime.

249. Lighthouse Keeper – In the public imagination, a historical lighthouse keeper is depicted either as a quaint family man living in isolation or as a complete nutter who lives with roommates who are just as insane. The actual life of a lighthouse keeper probably leans on The Lighthouse than A Light Between Oceans. First, keepers lived on remote, wind-battered rocks or tiny islands for months with little to no human contact. Since the light must burn 365 days a year, there are no vacations or trips off the rock. Third, fierce storms constantly threatened to wash away or batter the towers, causing severe mental stress. Fourth, keepers hauled heavy fuel supplies (like tons of coal and oil) up massive spiral staircases by hand. Fifth, they spent hours polishing soot-covered glass, scrubbing brass, and painting salt-damaged buildings. Sixth, weight-driven lens rotation systems had to be manually rewound like giant grandfather clocks multiple times a day. Finally, Fresnel lenses floated in liquid mercury baths to spin smoothy. Keepers unknowingly breathed in toxic fumes causing shaking, memory loss, and erratic “madness.” No wonder so many lighthouse keepers went nuts.

250. Lens Grinder – With the arrival of glasses, telescopes, and microscopes, glass lenses became more essential. But the life of a lens grinder was a brutal one. First, grinding glass using gritty quartz or emery abrasives released fine silica dust into the air, which workers breathed in daily. This caused severe lung damage and early death, famously cutting short the life of philosopher Baruch Spinoza who ground lenses as a day job. Second, hours spent squinting at tiny, imperfect refractions under poor lighting or candlelight permanently ruined grinders’ vision. Third, lens grinders spent days manually rubbing glass blanks back and forth against concave or convex metal tools called “laps” using progressively finer abrasive grit. Fourth, one small slip or uneven pressure while shaping brittle glass on a ceramic or metal wheel could shatter the lens instantly, ruining hours of precise work. Lastly, the meticulous process took hours or days per single lens, yet the finished product often suffered from optical aberrations due to primitive tools and inconsistent materials.

Historical Professions That Actually Sucked: Part 24 Mechanic to Newsboy

You may notice that a lot of professions pertaining to the air and sea often tend to be not for the faint hearted. The Age of Sail may have been a time of wooden ships and iron men. But it also meant poor sanitation, bad medical care, terrible food, cramped spaces, rampant diseases, and plenty of things that could go wrong as well as plenty ways to die. Oh, and months away from sea possibly never knowing when or whether you’ll ever see your family again. Also, while movie wooden ships may be massive, floating castles, most merchant and passenger ships were actually as big as an average house in the suburbs. While early airplanes were practically flying death traps resulting in the deaths of many pilots. That you’d assume that the Red Baron’s guardian angel had been working overtime before coughing out from exhaustion. Because even the Red Baron eventually got shot down. Anyway, here are ten more historical professions and their dark realities.

231. Mechanic – Today, mechanics are among the standard people in anyone’s neighborhood who perform an essential service by repairing people’s cars. But their historical counterparts had it so much worse that you couldn’t blame them for overcharging. First, workers constantly breathed in toxic exhaust fumes, leaded gasoline vapors, asbestos brake dust, and heavily oil grime soaking into their skin. Second, body shops lacked modern ventilation, heavy-duty elevators, or ergonomic support, resulting in ruined backs, crushed fingers, and black-lung style issues. To make matters worse, garages had no climate control leaving mechanics freezing during winter and baking during summer. Fourth, fixing engine problems meant manual trial-and-error, reading dirty spark plugs, and listening closely to engine ticks instead of plugging in a diagnostic scanner. Mechanics and drivers also had to constantly file down ignition points, set mechanical gaps, and manually adjust carburetors just to keep cars running smoothly on a weekly basis. Fifth, old metal components rusted solid, meaning every single bolt needed a torch, brute force, and knuckles against sharp engine bays. Sixth, in a world without internet, tracking down rare replacement parts required flipping through giant paper catalogs or calling junkyards. If the part didn’t exist, mechanics had to machine weld a custom piece from scratch. Lastly, mechanics had to buy and maintain all of their heavy hand tools out of pocket, cutting heavily into meager wages.

232. Electrician – Today, when the power goes out and you need some wiring done, it’s always advised to call an electrician. Because doing one’s own electrical work is a very dumb way to die. But when electricity was just getting started, being an electrician may have been as dangerous as being struck by lightning. First, early electricians received minimal training and handled live wires with their bare hands, rubber cloth, or simple leather gloves. Second, in the early days of powerlines and urban grids, historical statistics suggest that up to 50% of hired linemen in some regions suffered fatal accidents or severe injuries due to lack of protective gear and protocols. Third, electricians had no reliable multimeters, circuit breakers, or standardized ways to know if a line was dead before touching it. Fourth, since early wire were insulated with cheap, rubberized cloth, cotton and tar which easily degraded, sparked, and triggered hidden fires inside the walls. Early residential setups like knob-and-tube wiring lacked any ground wire, so any fault or moisture could electrify whole building structures. Fifth, during fierce competition between direct current (DC) or alternating current (AC), grid standards shifted rapidly. Workers had to navigate chaotic, makeshift urban infrastructure packed with poorly mapped, high-voltage lines. Sixth, linemen and station workers regularly worked 12-hour days, 7 days a week whether in freezing rain, snow, and extreme heat for as little as 15-20 cents an hour. Finally, decades before modern safety organizations like OSHA existed, workers bore the full brunt of corporate negligence, directly leading to the bloody formation of early labor unions like the International Brotherhood of Electrical Workers to fight for basic survival.

233. Nanny – Nannies in historical shows, movies, and books are often benevolent women who treat their employers’ children as their own. While magical ones like Mary Poppins even solve family dysfunction. However, being nanny was nothing like you see in a live-action Disney movie. First, nannies lived and worked in the nursery, usually located at the very top of large houses to keep children’s noise away from family. They were also cut off from the rest of the household staff. Second, while other servants may get an afternoon or evening off, nannies were on duty 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, sleeping in the same room or right next to the children to handle night wakings and illnesses. Third, while nannies were considered senior domestic staff and too high class to socialize with downstairs kitchen and house maids, they weren’t part of the upstairs family either. This left them with no peers, no romantic prospects, and very little adult conversation for months or years at a time. Fourth, carrying heavy infants, boiling endless loads of heavy cotton diapers by hand, and hauling coal up multiple flights of stairs to heat the nursery kept nannies in a state of chronic physical exhaustion. Top-floor nurseries were notoriously drafty and poorly heated, exposing nannies to chronic winter chills and dampness. Fifth, nannies did all the hands-on parenting such as the feeding, bathing, teaching, and comforting while upper class parents often saw their children in brief, polite visits. Finally, once the kids grew old enough for boarding school or governesses, the nanny’s job ended. And she was often let go with little security, forced to the children she raised as her own.

234. Gas Station Attendant – At old-time gas stations, gas station attendants always seem to hang around ready to fill your car. But the job was hardly what you might see in vintage postcards. In fact, it was more like being a waiter who pumped one’s car for worse treatment pay. For one, gas station attendants had to stand in freezing winter snow, pouring rain, or baking summer heat to pump gas. They were constantly exposed to strong, unhealthy gasoline fumes and chemicals like benzene all day long. All while standing on hard concrete floors for hours without breaks. Second, whenever customers yelled about high gas prices or slow service, gas attendants often took the blame. Even worse, people often either looked down at gas station attendants or saw them as invisible. Third, working alone at night brought real fears of robberies, violence, or dangerous drivers. Fourth, hourly wages were minimal with no tips or extra benefits for hard work. Lastly, workdays mostly comprised of doing the exact same minor tasks over and over again on long, dull shifts. Nevertheless, while this profession died out with the rise of self-service pumps, it still exists in New Jersey.

235. Milkman – In many old cartoons and movies, the milkman is as much a common sight as the postman. But the milkman life wasn’t like you’d see in a 1930s Warner Brothers cartoon. First, milkmen had to carry heavy crates filled with glass bottles up and down countless steps every single morning. Hazards included slipping on ice, wet steps, icy pavements during freezing winter mornings. They also had to face angry or aggressive dogs on customer properties. Second, milkmen began their shifts during the middle of the night, often at 2 or 3 AM to ensure fresh delivery before breakfast. So they probably didn’t have time to bang any housewives unless they had to go around to collect the bottles later that day. Even though there are plenty of jokes about kids looking like them. They also had to work through snowstorms, severe rain, and freezing temperature without modern climate-controlled vehicles. Third, milkmen had to chase down customers and carry large amounts of cash, making them robbery targets. Even though the bills were usually small. Lastly, they had to handle, wash, and collect heavy, fragile glass bottles from doorsteps. While this job would later die out with the advent of supermarkets and better refrigeration.

236. Truck Driver – When cars began taking the roads, trucks began to replace the horse team and wagons. Yet, early truck drivers didn’t have it easy during the early 20th century. First, since early trucks lacked air conditioning, proper heating, sound proofing, and comfortable suspension, drivers were constantly exposed to bone-rattling vibration and extreme weather. Second, drivers typically worked 14-18 hour days, sometimes even more without modern legal limits, forcing many of them to rely on dangerous amphetamines just to remain awake at the wheel. Third, constant exposure of thick diesel exhaust and heavy particulate matter severely damaged drivers’ lungs and heart over time. Fourth, during the early decades of motorized freight, drivers were often held personally responsible and forced to pay out of pocket for any damaged cargo during transit. Fifth, early truck drivers earned minimal daily wages despite doing backbreaking labor with little to no compensation for the endless hours spent waiting to load or unload. Lastly, roadside infrastructure consisted of dirty, unkempt gas stations with almost no food, sanitation, or resting amenities.

237. Dogcatcher – In the film Lady and the Tramp, the dogcatcher is basically a dog policeman that the canine characters often outsmart. But the life of a real dogcatcher at the time the movie is set was far from what anyone would wish on the dogs they caught. First, dogcatchers were typically seen as the absolute bottom of the political and social ladder, inspiring the classic insult that a disliked politician “couldn’t get elected dogcatcher.” Second, municipalities paid dogcatchers very little, forcing them to rely on bounty systems and fees to make any money. Third, because dogcatchers took family pets as well as often killed them or held them for ransom if owners couldn’t pay a fine, local communities deeply feared or despised them. Fourth, dogcatchers had to wrangle scared, aggressive, or genuinely rabid packs of roaming dogs without modern protective gear, tranquilizers, or professional animal handling training. Lastly, the bounty system encouraged corruption, leading some unscrupulous dogcatchers to resort to outright dog theft, frequently snatching pets off porches or out of open windows just to collect a reward or fee.

238. Sap Tapper – When it comes to extracting sap, many think it means tapping a maple tree and putting a small faucet and bucket over it. It’s not. But historical sap tappers didn’t have the sweetest life. For one, tapping happened in late winter or early spring when freezing nights turned to muddy, thawing days. Sap workers trudges through deep snow and icy slush carrying heavy loads. Second, hand drilling holes into dozens of frozen hardwood trees meant working outdoors in biting cold without modern thermal gear. Third, tappers hauled gallons of raw sap (which is roughly 97% water) manually from trees across rough forest terrain to central boiling camps. A single gallon of finished syrup required boiling down roughly 40 gallons of sap. Fourth, before modern tubing or tractors, sap was collected using yoke systems, wooden buckets, or sleds pulled through deep woods. Fifth, boiling down sap demanded massive wood fires kept burning day and night. Tappers slept near evaporating vats to stoke fires and prevent the batch from burning. Lastly, workers spent days hunched over boiling cauldrons in open-air or crude sugar shacks, inhaling heavy smoke or enduring intense heat while battling freezing drafts on their backs. On the bright side, at least this job is better than being a lumberjack.

239. Dock Worker – In history, dock workers were often the people who unloaded a ship’s cargo. But being one wasn’t smooth sailing, especially if you’ve seen On the Waterfront. First, every day began with men gathering in a semi-circle at the pier in the morning, begging a hiring boss for a day’s work. Bosses chose who worked based on kickbacks, bribes, or personal favoritism, leaving older or outspoken men to starve. If you were lucky, know that hours were often feast or famine. So it’s possible to work a grueling 16 hours and have no work for the next two weeks. Second, dock workers had to move hundreds of tons of cargo entirely by hand or with weak ropes and steam-winches. This cargo could comprise of timber, bags of grain, and barrels. Third, workers were routinely crushed by falling crates, dropped cargo nets, or slipped on wet, slick ship decks. Fourth, shoveling bulk materials like coal or grain meant breathing toxic dust ruining lungs with zero protective gear provided. Fifth, pay was low and erratic, forcing families into deep poverty and debt. Sixth, workers were sometimes paid in tokens or forced to spend their meager cash at high-priced company-run boarding houses and pubs. Lastly, port bosses deliberately pitted different racial and ethnic groups to prevent union organizing and higher wages. Although you could say the same about bosses in other industries at the time.

240. News Boy – Compared to most child labor jobs back in the old days, news boy doesn’t really seem very bad since it involves promoting and delivering papers. But if you’ve seen Newsies, it’s clear that these boys didn’t have it so great despite not being in as much danger as their peers (especially the chimney sweeps). First, children as young as 4 or 5 worked long, exhausting hours in all weather conditions from freezing winters to scorching summers, often without proper shoes or warm clothing. Second, carrying heavy bundles of papers resulted in chronic physical ailments, curved spines, sore throats from screaming headlines, and stunted growth. Third, meager earnings meant frequently skipped regular meals. Fourth, selling on a busy chaotic city street meant dodging speeding horses, carriages, and early automobiles or “flipping” moving streetcars to catch customers, leading to frequent injuries and deaths. Fifth, newsies faced daily threats of getting robbed, beaten by older street toughs or rival gangs, and harassed by police. Sixth, grueling schedules forced children to drop out of school, trapping them in a long-term cycle of poverty and illiteracy. Seventh, newsboys had to buy their newspaper bundles upfront from publishers with their own meager cash. If they couldn’t sell papers, they absorbed financial loss instead of the publishers. Lastly, publishers like Joseph Pulitzer and William Randolph Hearst hiked the wholesale price of paper bundles during the Spanish-American War, squeezing children’s profits down to pennies a day and resulting into historic uprisings like the News Boys’ Strike of 1899.

Historical Professions That Actually Sucked: Part 23 Roman Bath Attendant to Matchmaker

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Although it’s often assumed that married working-class women were often housewives who tended to the home and family, this doesn’t exactly tell the whole story. As you’ve seen in this series, working class women held many of these jobs regardless of marital status like laundress, spinner, camp follower, milkmaid, and more. Some even required them to have children like the job of wetnurse. While women settlers did much of the heavy lifting alongside their household duties, which gave rise to the idea of joint property ownership in the American West. Anyway, have you ever imagined yourself leading a wagon train throughout the Oregon Trail? How about a court jester entertaining royalty? Or maybe an old timey bush pilot in the wilderness. Once again, here are ten more historical professions and the dark realities behind them.

221. Roman Bath Attendant – In ancient Rome, the baths were often a major center for hygiene and socializing. However, being a Roman bath attendant was a miserable job which would make a teenager’s summer working at a public pool seem like a tropical vacation. First, workers maintained the underground hypocaust furnaces, enduring suffocating, scorching heat in cramped spaces to keep the water boiling. Second, attendants hauled massive amounts of firewood, water, and waste continuously throughout long shifts. Third, attendants used dull metal tools called strigils to physically scrape sweat, dirt, and rancid olive oil off patrons’ bodies. Fourth, bathwater was rarely changed, often turning into thick scum of skin oils, dirt, and human waste that attendants had to clean and wade through. Fifth, workers faced constant exposure to lice, intestinal worms, and fungal infections thriving on wet, warm floors. Sixth, most Roman bath attendants were enslaved people or poor laborers who had no legal rights and suffered verbal or physical abuse from wealthy, entitled bathers. Lastly, angry patrons often blamed attendants whenever their clothes or valuables were stolen from changing rooms by pickpockets.

222. Silk Farmer – Throughout much of history, silk was such a hot commodity in the western world that it led to the Silk Road as well as Eurasian trade during the Middle Ages. However, being a silk farmer was a much more brutal gig. For one, since silkworms ate constantly, silk farmers had to chop mulberry leaves day and night for weeks. Second, worm trays needed to be kept meticulously clean and warm. One little sick caterpillar could ruin an entire harvest. Third, during the final stages of caterpillar growth, families often worked in shifts through the night to feed billions of tiny, chewy mouths. Fourth, whole silkworm populations could suddenly die from bacterial or viral infections overnight, destroying a year’s income in hours. Fifth, cold snaps or wet weather ruined mulberry tree leaves, starving the worms or stunting their growth. Sixth, to harvest the continuous thread, workers plunged cocoons into boiling vats of water. These vats filled workspaces with the heavy, sickening smell of decaying chrysalis and boiling sericin glue. Lastly, reeling the fine silk required workers to plunge their hands into scalding water all day, leaving their skin raw, blistered, and scarred.

223. Olive Grower – Olives were a major industry in the Mediterranean world and olive groves are part of the pastoral aesthetic alongside vineyards. But working at a historical olive garden was nothing like working at the American restaurant chain. First, as an olive grower, you had to wait 5-15 years for newly planted trees to bear a useful crop. Thus, you often planted these trees for your grandchildren rather than yourself. Second, stripping tiny fruit by hand or beating branches by sticks took months of freezing, grueling winter labor, often stretching into spring. Third, if you couldn’t get your olives to the oil press quickly enough or if the oil oxidized in its amphorae, your entire harvest turned rancid and worthless. Finally, since mature olive trees took decades to grow, a single invading army, massive fire, or hard freeze could wipe out generations of wealth in mere minutes.

224. Book Binder – In historical settings, you’re bound to find yourself in a scene where there are massive libraries containing shelves filled with beautiful leather-bound books with gilded print. But a book binder’s life was far from a charmed one in a cozy library. First, book binders handled dangerous substances like lead, mercury, and arsenic used in pigments and inks along with corrosive acids for treating leather. Second, book binders used heavy beating hammers and screw presses for hours on end to flatten and compact paper signatures, causing chronic joint and muscle pain. Third, raw materials included animal hides (like sheep, calf, or goat skin) that usually arrived unwashed, stinking, and rife with bacteria or insect infestations. Fourth, young trainees endured years of unpaid, menial labor, often facing physical abuse from masters while sleeping on the shop floor. Sixth, despite the high skill requiring to sew, glue, round spines, and tool leather, most independent book binders earned very little. Finally, boiling animal-skin glues and scraping leather or parchment filled tiny workshops with choking fumes and dust.

225. Moneylender – In The Merchant of Venice, we find the Jewish character of the moneylender Shylock who was originally seen as the villain but ended up as the guy modern audiences usually root for. While many modern actors dream of playing him. But being a moneylender was no less different than being a glorified loan shark. For one, major religions like Christianity condemned charging any interest on loans as a grave moral sin and exploitation of the poor. While famous writers like Dante Aligheri placed moneylenders deep in the circles of hell. So it shouldn’t surprise us that many of the small-time moneylenders we see are Jews like Shylock. Still, when it comes to medieval and Renaissance Christianity in regards of moneylending, it’s complicated. Because the Knights Templar were into lending money and so were prominent families like the Medicis and Fuggers. Second, courts often refused to protect loan contracts or outright banned the trade, forcing operators into criminalized shadows. Third, powerful monarchs and nobles regularly borrowed massive sums and solved their debt problems by expelling, imprisoning, or killing moneylenders instead of paying. By the way, French King Philip IV’s inability to pay the Knights Templar eventually led to the fall of the order. Fourth, should a poor harvest or a defaulting merchant fail to repay money, the moneylender absorbed total losses with limited legal recourse. This explains why Shylock demands a pound of flesh from Antonio in The Merchant of Venice. And given that he’s Jewish in a very Anti-Semitic world as well as not exactly prospering in one of the few jobs he could legitimately hold, you don’t really blame him. Even though he’s supposed to be the bad guy. Finally, society blamed moneylenders for structural economic crashes, making them perpetual targets for pogroms, asset seizures, and state-sanctioned violence. So even Shylock may seem like a complete shithead, he has plenty to be pissed off about.

226. Court Jester – Dressed in a pied outfit with a jingles hat, the court jester was the resident comedian who could get away with saying anything as long as he was funny enough. But being a court jester was no royal banquet of nonstop laughs. First, given that free speech isn’t a protected asset, jesters needed to survive by reading a king’s unpredictable mood. One bad or poorly timed joke could instantly result in imprisonment, beating by offended nobles, or execution. So if your boss is Henry VIII, may God have mercy on your soul. Second, court jesters possessed no real rank, armor, or legal safety within the castle hierarchy, making them politically disposable when political tensions were high. Third, when royals or courts needed to vent frustration or shift blame during crises, jesters were often the first targets of abuse. Fourth, years of tumbling, performing physical comedy, and enduring stress took a heavy toll on a jester’s physical health, resulting in chronic joint and body pain. Fifth, despite being surrounded by royalty, many were chosen for unusual physical traits and treated as social outsiders, leaving them emotionally marginalized. Finally, once they grew old and outlived their usefulness, court jesters were swiftly replaced, often dying in obscurity with unceremonious burials outside stables. On the bright side, it was available for women, say things that would get most people executed, and act as political advisers.

227. House Painter – Today house painting is associated with the finishing in a building’s construction. But in history, it was a dangerous profession with a constant risk of poison. First, painters ground massive amounts of toxic white lead into linseed oil, causing chronic illness known as “painter’s colic,” leading to severe abdominal pain, paralysis, and brain damage. Vivid colors like Scheele’s Green and Paris Green relied on copper acetoarsenite, shedding toxic dust sickening workers and residents alike. Second, house painters handled dry, powdered toxic pigments bare-handed and daily inhaled heavy-metal particles before modern respirators or ventilation existed. Third, since pre-mixed cans didn’t exist through most of history, house painters had to crush, mix, and grind raw materials by hand and while on-site. Fourth, scraping and burning off thick, accumulating layers of lead paint using primitive, dangerous heat tools exposed workers to toxic fumes. Fifth, painters balanced on crude, wooden planks and rickety, heavy ladders for high exterior work without harnesses or fall protection. Lastly, house painters worked entirely exposed to extreme summer heat, freezing cold, and rain while performing grueling, overhead physical labor.

228. Wagon Master – In westerns, the wagon master always leads the frontier settlers across the west and through each danger the party encounters. But life as a wagon was anything but happy trails. First, like a ship’s captain, the wagon master’s word was law. So if you’re leading settlers across the Oregon Trail, every bad outcome, mistake, or death fell squarely on you. So best to study what happened to the Donner Party so you and your party won’t end up like them. Second, wagon masters had to be mechanics for broken wagons, veterinarians for sick oxen, a doctor for injuries, a hunter for food, and a weather forecaster. Third, they bore the stress of choosing safe routes through unknown terrain and judging treacherous river crossings. Fourth, they had to actively watch for hostile outlaws, rough weather, and dangerous terrain while protecting the group. Fifth, amongst the party, they had to constantly settle arguments, stop fights, and deal with anxious travelers. Lastly, being wagon master meant living in harsh elements, getting no real sleep, and constantly exerting massive physical effort just to keep things moving.

229. Bush Pilot – In many historical settings based during the 20th century, you have the bush pilot who seems like kind of a nut but always gets the heroes to the rescue zone. But being a bush pilot in the olden days was like many jobs relating to aviation, dangerous. First, early planes had weak, fragile engines that often failed. Second, bush pilots flew over vast swaths of wilderness without accurate charts and often had to sketch their own. Third, compasses wildly spun near magnetic north. Open-cockpit planes exposed pilots to freezing wind. Fourth, should a pilot crash in remote wilderness, there was no Coast Guard or search party available to save them. Fifth, bush pilots had to act as their own mechanics, fuelers, and survivalists, often fixing broken planes in sub-zero snow with no heated hangars. Lastly, beyond flying, bush pilots loaded heavy cargo, fueled the plane by hand, and managed all chores alone.

230. Matchmaker – In historical media, matchmakers are often the people who bring couples together for arranged marriages within a community. Think of Yenta from Fiddler on the Roof or the bitchy matchmaker from Mulan. But their life could be one never-ending headache. First, traveling between respective villages to inspect prospective brides and grooms meant risking attacks from highway robbers or enduring harsh weather without modern transport. Second, matchmakers had to rely on word-of-mouth, local gossip, or slow mail to vet candidates. This made falling victim to deception very easy, especially during the days without reliable mass communication, literacy, or transportation networks. Let alone make background checks almost impossible. Third, should a marriage prove abusive or unstable, blame fell on the matchmaker’s taste, judgment, and truthfulness. Fourth, within many traditional communities, a failed or deeply unhappy match could result in the matchmaker being banned, ridiculed, or denied their fee entirely. Fifth, matchmakers had to satisfy strict family demands regarding social class, wealth, dowries, in lineage rather than personal affection or compatibility. Lastly, as modern ideas of romantic love grew, historical marriage brokers were frequently vilified in public and literature as meddling gossips who commercialized human intimacy. Although you can totally see this trend going on in the song “Matchmaker, Matchmaker” in Fiddler on the Roof.

Historical Professions That Actually Sucked: Part 22 Toy Maker to Kabuki Actor

In this series, you may have noticed that just because a job’s done by a woman, doesn’t mean it’s any easier. Laundresses had to wash clothes risking skin problems and joint issues. Milkmaids had grueling workdays as well as risked arthritis and unpredictable animals. But at least the cowpox shielded them from smallpox outbreaks. While match girls and garment workers often faced body horrors no one would wish on any living soul. Anyway, ever imagined yourself as Geppetto in his workshop making clocks and toys for children? Ever wanted to be an emperor of Japan or China. Or perhaps you may have wanted to see yourself as a medieval king. Here are ten more historical professions and why they weren’t as great as portrayed.

211. Toy Maker – When it comes to a historical toy maker, the image of Geppetto in Pinocchio often comes to mind. In many ways, it’s often seen as a profession all full of whimsy. However, the reality was a difficult and grueling one that didn’t guarantee making a living puppet. First, hand carving wooden toys or sewing rag dolls took many hours. But since toys were considered luxury items for the poor or seasonal novelties, toymakers made very little. Thus, that would explain why Geppetto also made clocks as well. Second, many historical toy makers worked in cottage industries under harsh guild rules or for middlemen paying pennies per finished batch. Third, crafting items like tin soldiers or wooden horses required precision daylight work, stretching into long night shifts by candlelight ruining eyesight. Fourth, brightly-colored historical toys were often painted using heavy-metal pigments containing lead, arsenic (Scheele’s green), and mercury. Toy makers constantly breathed in toxic paint dust and handled poisonous metals or chemicals with bare hands during production. Making one wonder how Geppetto managed to remain in good health with a full set of teeth. Fifth, toys sold heavily only around holidays like Christmas, leaving toy makers cash-strapped and desperate for income during the rest of the year. Finally, consumer demand shifted quickly based on economic downturns or changing fads, leaving excess inventory that families couldn’t eat or trade for food.

212. Dry Cleaner – Today, the dry cleaner is the person you see to clean clothes that you can’t just through into the washer and dryer. But their historical counterparts went through a nightmare to take care of gorgeous period outfits during the Gilded Age through the early 20th century. First, 19th and early 20th century dry clean shops washed clothes in flammable petroleum solvents like gasoline, benzene, and turpentine. A single spark from rubbing dry fabric together could literally ignite a room and more. As 19th to early 20th century newspaper reports routinely recorded entire dry-cleaning shops and city blocks exploding. Second, workers breathed heavy vapors of benzene, carbon tetrachloride, and gasoline all day long without safety gear. Breathing these toxic chemicals wreaked radical neurological damage, organ failure, and high cancer risks. Since gasoline fumes are heavier than air, they pooled low to the ground and filled basements. Third, long before petroleum, ancient Roman and medieval fullers cleaned clothes using vats of human and animal urine as an ammonia source, making a foul and harsh environment. Fourth, before automated tumbling machines, workers had to hand-scour every single garment in open tubs of harsh chemicals. Lastly, dry clean shops were often pushed out of major cities by governments due to constant threat of deadly block-destroying fires.

213. Tobacco Roller – In period settings from the 19th to the 1970s, you often see characters taking a smoke. But those who rolled cigarettes and cigars didn’t live lives well lit. First, rooms were packed with dry tobacco dust, causing chronic coughing, black phlegm, and ruined lungs. Second, workers stood or sat stiffly for grueling 10-hour shifts, repeating the exact same hand motions thousands of times a day. Constant twisting and shaping tore up fingers, causing severe joint pain and cramps. Third, instead of hourly rates, workers were paid strictly by how many items they finished. A slow hour meant no money. While factory owners constantly squeezed wages as competition grew. Lastly, after James Bonsack invented his high-speed Bonsack machine rolling 210 per minute, skilled hand rollers were rapidly cast aside and replaced with cheap mechanical labor.

214. Spinner – Turning wool into yarn, spinners were where we get the term “spinster” from since it was done by unmarried women past marriageable age. But unlike what the term implies, being a spinner wasn’t the best way for a single woman to support herself. First, hand spinners were among the poorest of the poor. Their daily pay rate was so low that a childless single woman could actually earn more doing backbreaking agricultural labor in the fields than spinning at home. Thus, spinners were more likely to be mothers, widows, the elderly, and the physically disabled who wouldn’t be able to work in the fields. While the low wages they earned were often considered to supplement a family’s income. Not exactly a way for a woman to independently support herself. Second, spinners weren’t paid extra for making superior yarn. Merchants bought cheap yarn and mixed it together, there was no incentive to work harder or being the best. Third, when the Industrial Revolution came along, hand spinner wages dropped over time, matching or falling below medieval daily pay rates. Fourth, before industrial mills, turning raw fiber into thread consumed a woman’s every waking hour she had left over after cooking, cleaning, and raising children. Fifth, hours upon hours of repetitive motion hunched over a spindle or great wheel ruined backs, strained eyes, and caused joint and muscle pain. Sixth, rural workers relied on clothier merchants to drop off raw wool and pick up finished yarn. Merchants often traveled 20-30 miles to find desperate workers and held total power over their livelihoods. Lastly, during the late 1700s, laws like the English Worsted Acts created quasi-police forces to specifically monitor, detect, and prosecute hand spinners for alleged fraud or flaws in their reeling.

215. Medieval King – In the public imagination, medieval kings are often seen as the ultimate authority as chosen by God. But the reality was more like undergoing the immersive experience of Game of Thrones. Especially when you account that the story’s derives from the English Wars of the Roses, when it wasn’t at all good to be the king. First, medieval kings didn’t bathe as regularly as we do, dealt with lice and fleas, and used foul-smelling primitive toilets. Due to lack of antibiotics and painkillers, simple infections, bad teeth, or minor wounds could easily kill a king. Second, royal food was heavy on meat and expensive spices. But lack of sanitation meant food poisoning and dysentery were constant threats. Third, kings resided in drafty castles that lacked ventilation, sometimes requiring him to break ice in a bowl so he could wash his face in the morning. They also quickly got dirty and smelly within a certain amount of time, often causing he and his entourage to pick up stakes and move to another residence for a few months as the servants began cleanup. Seriously, medieval castle accommodations make the poop cruise seem like a luxurious experience. Fourth, kings were expected to lead armies in heavy armor, risking injury or death on the battlefield. Fifth, nobles and families frequently plotted to overthrow, imprison, or kill the king to take his crown. Child kings could be particularly vulnerable in this regard given what happened to the Princes in the Tower. Sixth, keeping powerful lords happy required endless negotiation and failure often led to civil war. Seventh, the Catholic Church could excommunicate kings or turn their people against them since kingly excommunication meant churches weren’t allowed to baptize, marry, bestow sacraments, or perform funerals. But these excommunications often didn’t last long. Lastly, medieval kings also had to marry a foreign princess of reproductive age and later marry off kids to secure diplomatic ties.

216. Japanese Emperor – Being an emperor often means great power, lots of treasures, and a gigantic palace and court. But this hasn’t always been the case most of known Japanese history. First, for nearly 700 years, military dictators called shoguns held all the actual political and military power. The emperor was stuck in a palace at Kyoto while the samurai rain the country. Second, Japanese emperors were heavily guarded and isolated. They were kept away from the general public and real-world events, essentially trapped in a golden cage by whichever clan was running the military government at the time. Third, because shoguns controlled the land and peasant taxes, the imperial court often ran out of money. During some periods of extreme poverty, imperial family members and court nobles had to sell their own handwritten calligraphy and poetry just to afford food and basic supplies. Fourth, because they were seen as divine descendants of the Shinto sun goddess Amaterasu, strict, boring rituals restricted every part of their lives. They had to speak, dress, and sit in very specific ways. Lastly, many emperors were forced to abdicate while they were still young, sometimes even children so that senior retired emperors could manipulate the throne from behind the scenes.

217. Chinese Emperor – Clad in yellow robes, the Chinese Emperor was the supreme authority of a vast empire of one of the largest and oldest countries on earth. But being one was like being the star of Game of Thrones. First, emperors woke up before dawn for long meetings with officials to read reports, sign laws, and decide on punishments or executions. Second, most of the later emperors lived in the Forbidden City where they rarely left, meaning they were heavily isolated and tricked by corrupt officials hiding bad news. Third, old traditions and court protocols controlled every emperor’s word and action. Fourth, under the Mandate of Heaven, should a natural disaster like a flood, earthquake, or famine happen, the people blamed the emperor, viewing it as a sign that he lost the right to rule. This often caused rebellions. Fifth, palace eunuchs, relatives, wives, and concubines constantly fought for power, poisoned rivals, or manipulated child emperors, leading to frequent coups and violent deaths. Finally, should an emperor inherit the throne as a child, it almost always resulted in political chaos, foreign attacks, and a dynasty’s fall. By the way, China stopped having emperors altogether in 1911 with the republican-led Wuchang Uprising after the Ching Dynasty collapsed due to military defeats, foreign colonization, economic crises, and anger against the Manchu rulers, culminating in the formal abdication of toddler emperor Pu Yi.

218. Union Organizer – The rise of industrialization and the widening gap between the rich owners and poor workers led to the rise of unions. But the life of a union organizer during the Gilded Age to the early 20th century wasn’t for the faint-hearted. First, as a union organizer, know that the establishment is solidly against you. Bosses hired private security forces like the Pinkertons to beat, shoot, and intimidate union organizers. National Guard units and local police were routinely deployed to crush strikes and jail labor leaders. Organizers in isolated industrial areas like coal camps or textile mill villages, risked their lives walking into neighborhoods where company control was absolute. Second, getting caught organizing meant losing your job and being put on secret industry lists banning you from ever working in that trade again. Note that because unions haven’t reached mainstream acceptance yet, there was no unemployment pay or strike fund safety net in the early eras, meaning that failed strikes often meant literal starvation for the organizer and their allies. Third, early courts viewed unions as illegal criminal conspiracies so union organizers could be arrested for simply trying to talk to workers about wages. Judges constantly issued emergency court orders making public gatherings, speeches, or picketing illegal on the spot. Fourth, union organizers had to operate in total stealth, constantly moving, sleeping in boarding houses under fake names and fearing spies and informants within the workforce. Finally, local business owners, newspapers, and churches often sided with the company, painting organizers as dangerous outside agitators or foreign radicals trying to destroy the town. The Catholic Church under Pope Leo XIII was one of the first institutions to approve of labor unions in the 1880s. But that doesn’t mean the local Catholic priest would agree. Nonetheless, while being a union organizer was a profession that required a steel spine, their efforts eventually improved millions of people’s lives in government policy.

219. Madam – In many period pieces and westerns, madams often seem like they’re the most successful woman in town, always wear the nicest clothes, and mind her girls like a maternal figure. However, a madam’s life was far from fabulous one the public imagination tends to depict. First, since operating a brothel was illegal in most eras and jurisdictions, madams regularly faced police crackdowns, heavy fines, and jail time. To remain open, madams had to constantly pay off corrupt local police officers and politicians, eating into the profits they made. Second, madams lived completely outside respectable society, carrying a social stigma cutting them off from legal protections or civil recourse. Third, most madams didn’t own the buildings they used. In fact, they paid exorbitant rents to wealthy, powerful landlords who held all the real estate. Landlords and suppliers often forced madams into deep debt cycles, loaning them startup or repair money with punishing interest rates. Fourth, many madams were tethered to violent male criminals, pimps, or gang members who treated them and their workers as property or cash cows. Fifth, madams had to manage unruly, armed, or drunk patrons (including local politicians and thugs) without reliable police help if things turned violent. Lastly, keeping a house running meant liability for sick, injured or desperate workers while handling dangerous disputes in secret.

220. Kabuki Actor – Japanese kabuki theater always appears like a dream with actors donning elaborate costumes. However, there was nothing dreamy about being a kabuki actor in feudal Japan. First, since the Tokugawa Shogunate viewed kabuki as a threat to public morals and social order, there were repeated bans. Women were completely banned from performing in 1629 and young male actors (wakashu) were outlawed in 1652. These bans forced the entire industry to adopt an all-male format (yaro-kabuki) under constant police watch. Second, kabuki actors were classified near the bottom of Japan’s social hierarchy, stripped of ordinary citizen rights, and forbidden from mingling with higher social classes mingling in respectable urban districts. Third, kabuki performances lasted all day in unconditioned, open air or wooden playhouses requiring massive vocal projection without microphones. Fourth, kabuki performers had to master hyper-stylized, physically punishing movements, heavy traditional makeup, and specialized roles (such as the onnagata specializing entirely in female mimicry) passed town through intense family bloodlines with no room for personal deviation. Finally, despite massive popularity among ordinary townspeople, kabuki actors were culturally ostracized from the samurai elite and official government bodies. In fact, they were treated as disruptive vagrants instead of respected artists.

Historical Professions That Actually Sucked: Part 21 Lady’s Maid to British Officer

              Sometimes even the villainous jobs tend to look cooler than they appear. Yet, each came with a dark side. Conquistadors may get a bad rap but most never got rich from destroying Pre-Columbian civilizations. Inquisitors acted more like religiously-affiliated local prosecutors who didn’t really want the job and often found themselves between a rock and a hard place. But tell that to every Hollywood director who depicts them as torture happy clerics. While witch hunters often could find their work backfiring on them if they accuse some beloved person in a community. Anyway, it’s likely that being a Pony Express rider perhaps captured your imagination at some point. How about being a veterinarian while watching All Creatures Great and Small?  Or perhaps a quaint clock maker? Here are ten more historical jobs and the dark realities behind them.

201. Lady’s Maid – In a great house like in Downton Abbey, a lady’s maid is her mistress’ personal attendant who dresses her, bathes her, and cares for her clothes. First, as a lady’s maid, don’t expect to sleep until your mistress returns from late evening balls or social events, often lasting until 2 to 3 AM. But you still must get up early to prepare breakfast and dress your mistress for the day. Also, you must instantly be responsive to handbells or electric call systems 24/7. So you mistress has some unfortunate encounter with a Turkish man who dies from a heart attack during the middle of the night, you better be willing to get up and help her and her mom move the guy’s body. Second, you’re responsible for complex fashions, elaborate hairstyling, intricate dress repair, ironing, and heavy corsetry management. If you’re living in the 18th century, expect to apply cosmetics that could possibly kill you both like that white lead-based face powder. Third, any torn gown, out of place hairpin, or failed cosmetic mixture can result in a verbal scolding or dismissal. Since such mistakes regarding wardrobe malfunction are on you. Fourth, while Downton Abbey lady maids can marry their co-workers, know that socializing, having outside friends over, or pursuing romantic relationships were strictly discouraged or outright banned. After all, no workplace distractions. Fifth, know that domestic servants were universally expected to stay single. Marriage and pregnancy means immediate dismissal with no safety net. Lastly, with zero legal worker protections, no job security, and complete dependence on a good reference letter from their employer to find future work, maids were vulnerable to exploitation and mistreatment from employers with little recourse.

202. Cheesemaker – Cheese may be a popular food in our world. But the people who made it didn’t have quite a cheesy time of it. First, moving heavy iron cauldrons of milk and pressing heavy stone blocks onto cheese molds required relentless physical strength. Second, working near fires or boiling vats meant frequent burns and steam injuries in damp, freezing dairy rooms. Third, since animals don’t stop their milk production on holidays and weekends, milking and curdling had to happen twice a day, every single day. Fourth, due the thermometer not being invented yet, cheesemaker determined temperatures by sticking a bare elbow or finger into hot vats, risking ruined batches if they missed the mark by a few degrees. Fifth, due to pasteurization or laboratory cultures being nonexistent, a stray bad microbe could ruin months of aging work overnight, turning an entire winter’s food supply into a toxic, stinking rot. Sixth, a bad drought or wet season changed grass quality, altering milk chemistry and causing unexpected flavors in failed curdling. Seventh, a spoiled batch of wheels meant a farmer’s family went into debt or starved through the winter. Lastly, for centuries, much of the dairy work was forced onto women or enslaved laborers who did the brutal daily processing while receiving little to no credit or profit.

203. Veterinarian – If you watch All Creatures Great and Small, you might think being an old country vet was a quaint way to make a living. But if you read the book series, you’d see a very different reality like it was a 24/7 job. First, practitioners primarily treated large, strong animals like horses, mules, and cattle that could easily kick, bite, or crush a person when panicked or in pain. In the books, you see this whenever James Herriot attempts to treat a horse. Before modern tools, procedures required intensive labor such as throwing a thousand-pound horse to the ground to castrate or treat it. While fractured bones, severe kicks, and open wounds were daily routine hazards. Yet, somehow you never see James Herriot, Siegfried Farnon, or their assistants ever receiving such injuries or spending time in the hospital in either the books or the show. Second, as with their human counterparts, animal pain management was either primitive or completely absent. So surgeries and resetting broken bones were agonizing for both patient and doctor. Third, before germ theory and antibiotics, treatments relied on chaotic folklore, heavy-metal tonics, or painful blistering and bleeding techniques that often harmed more than helped the animal. Fortunately, by the time James Herriot comes to the Dales, such older remedies had fallen out of fashion and anesthesia was available. But he still had to deal with clients who believed such things worked. Fourth, veterinarians faced deadly zoonotic illnesses like anthrax, glanders, and brucellosis without proper protective gear or treatment. Herriot gets brucellosis but he’s fortunate enough to live in the 20th century. Fifth, for centuries, animal doctors were seen as low-class laborers or uneducated farriers (cow leeches) rather than respectable medical scientists. Finally, as in All Creatures Great and Small, owners deeply cared about the economic loss of a dead workhorse or cow, placing immense stress on the practitioner when treatments inevitably failed.

204. Circuit Judge – A familiar figure in westerns is the circuit judge who travels through his jurisdiction to hold trials. But a circuit judge’s life was a nightmare no courtroom could resolve. First, judges traveled thousands of miles on horseback or by bumpy stagecoach across unpaved, muddy, or flooded terrain. Like many travelers, they were forced to sleep in dirty, crowded, and loud roadside taverns. While exposure to bad weather and poor food led to frequent bouts of sickness and severe exhaustion. Second, traveling through remote areas exposed judges to highwaymen, extreme winter storms, and lack of medical care. While the intense physical toll contributed to several prominent early jurists’ severe health declines or early deaths. Third, early Supreme Court Justices had to “ride the circuit” on top of their normal capital caseloads, making the job a relentless grind. Finally, circuit judges spent many months away from their families and comfortable homes to hold court in primitive outposts.

205. Distiller – In the public imagination, we often see the moonshiner making their hooch high in Appalachian Mountains during the Great Depression. But being a distiller was far from an idealized life in the woods. First, due to lack of modern thermometers and chemical testing, early distillers relied entirely on guesswork to discard the “heads” (first part of the distillate). Misjudging this meant producing liquor with concentrated methanol, causing blindness, severe illness, or death of both the maker and the consumer. Second, stills were often crudely plumbed or soldered with lead, copper alloys, and other toxic metals that slowly leached into the acidic mash and finished high-proof alcohol over time. Third, early direct-fire stills lacked temperature control, frequently scorching the mash and yielding  foul-tasting, bitter, or toxic spirits. Fourth, moving massive wooden grain sacks, hauling water by hand, and splitting heavy firewood for fuel resulted in 14-16 hour workdays in blistering heat next to open flames. Fifth, 19th century records show historic distilleries as death traps. Workers regularly suffered from crushed limbs or amputations in heavy grain-milling machinery, fell down dark, open, multi-story rickhouse shafts, or were mangled by primitive corn conveyers. Fifth, confined spaces filled with invisible, highly flammable ethanol vapor paired with open wood fires meant a single stray spark could and frequently did blow up the entire works. Sixth, governments heavily taxing alcohol resulted in constant conflict. In the United States, American frontier distillers faced frequent armed uprisings during the Whiskey Rebellion in 1794. Although the frontier then was just west of Appalachia at the time. Lastly, securing quality distilling equipment was exceptionally difficult due to trade monopolies and high costs for pure copper, forcing many to use unsafe alternative metals.

206. Clock Maker – In historical films and TV, the clock maker often toils in his shop, often repairing a watch within the constant sound of the clocks being his only background noise. However, being a clock maker wasn’t as safe as the media made it out to be. First, guild workers used liquid mercury to gild clock parts, causing shaking, brain damage, and tooth loss. Filing tiny gears by candlelight destroyed eyes long before glasses were good. While working with coal smoke, acid fumes, and metal dust hurt breathing. So much for the work not being dangerous. Second, kings and rich nobles took months to pay bills, leaving many clock makers broke. Didn’t help that clock makers had to buy expensive gold, silver, and steel upfront while waiting years to finish one item. Third, in the days before the Industrial Revolution, every single gear and spring had to be filed by hand from raw metal, which could prove painstaking. Fourth, one tiny mistake meant weeks of work went into the trash. Lastly, if the clock lost even 2 minutes a week, angry buyers refused to pay or demanded free fixes. Not a safe and sustainable way to make a living.

207. Jeweler – In historical TV, books, and films, the jewelry is often as grand as the beautiful outfits themselves. But a jeweler’s life wasn’t one that glittered. First, fire-gilding required mixing gold and mercury, releasing toxic vapors causing tremors, tooth loss, and madness (as the origin of the “mad hatter” phenomenon applied to metal workers). Second, hours of peering at tiny micro-gemstones or engraving metal under dim candlelight or weak natural light ruined jewelers’ eyesight by middle age. Third, filing gold, silver, and toxic metals like copper and lead meant constantly inhaling metal dust without protective masks. Fourth, monarchs and nobles were notorious for commissioning grand pieces before delaying payment indefinitely. Or they’d simply execute the jeweler to get out of paying a bill. Fifth, jewelers had to front the immense cost of precious stones and metals out of pocket. A single lost shipment, robbery, or royal whim could bankrupt a jeweler’s workshop entirely. Sixth, carrying high-value inventory made jewelers prime targets for violent highwaymen, thieves, or corrupt local guards. Seventh, guild systems strictly controlled who a jeweler could hire, how many items they could make, and what prices they could charge, leaving little room for personal freedom or innovation. Finally, master jewelers fiercely guarded their techniques, meaning apprentices learned through grueling trial and error rather than shared knowledge.

208. Pony Express Rider – In the American imagination a Pony Express rider looms large when it comes to the Old West as a horseback courier service. But being a Pony Express rider was a tough gig that didn’t last long. First, riders faced ambush, outlaws, and conflicts with Native Americans during the Paiute War, resulting in multiple employee deaths. Second, stretches of route through mid-19th century Kansas, Wyoming, Utah, and Nevada were vast, empty, and completely lacking law enforcement. Third, since riders carried little more than a revolver and water bottle, they became easy prey for highwaymen. Fourth, shifts lasted up to 20 hours across 75-100 miles of rough terrain, switching frantic, half-wild horses every 10-15 miles. Fifth, Pony Express riders rode through blinding snowstorms, sub-zero mountain cold, blistering desert heat, and blinding dust storms without stopping. Sixth, jobs required young men (often teenagers or orphans) weighing less than 125lbs to bounce on tiny racing saddles offering no padding or comfort. Seventh, missing a schedule or losing a mail bag meant severe trouble, despite the impossible pace. Lastly, despite the job paying decently for the time at $50 to $125 a month, the Pony Express company went bankrupt and shut down after 18 months once the transcontinental telegraph rendered the grueling rides obsolete.

209. US Army Indian Scout – You might see US Indian Scouts in many westerns, especially regarding the clashes between Native Americans and the US Army. But they lived rather miserable lives amidst the action. First, US Indian Scouts were often forced or hired to track, fight, or hunt down their own tribal bands or neighboring groups due to old regional rivalries. This created a permanent deadly hostility and branding as traitors by other Native American groups. Second, refusing to fight close kin meant facing brutal military court-marshals and executions as happened during the Apache resistance. Third, life under the US Army meant countless boring drills, strict discipline, and rigid rules clashing with traditional freedom. Fourth, Indian scouts were forced into stiff, poorly-fitting standard military uniforms and heavy boots unsuited for stealth desert or mountain travel. Fifth, unsurprisingly, white soldiers often deeply mistrusted Indian scouts, placing them on the front lines to take the riskiest fire. Sixth, scouts were used as pathfinders during horrific events like the Wounded Knee Massacre, leaving deep psychological scars. Finally, after the Indian Wars ended, the army had little use for the Indian Scouts, cutting support and leaving many to face systemic poverty on reservations.

210. British Officer – In movies, TV, and books, British officers are often fathers to their men unless it’s the Charge of the Light Brigade. But the reality was far from what you’d see in media related to the British Empire. First, until 1871, many officers had to buy and sell their military ranks using the Sale of Commission System costing massive sums of money. Also the Sale of Commission System was one of the factors that resulted in what happened during the Charge of the Light Brigade. Second, daily pay didn’t cover the high cost of expensive uniforms, mess fees, and equipment. Many officers went deep into debt just to remain in the regiment. Third, junior officers usually led their men face-first into enemy fire. During World War I, junior officers had much higher death rates than regular soldiers. Didn’t help that snipers and opposing troops often aimed at officers because they wore different clothes and gave the orders. Fourth, due to the officer corps being run by upper-class social codes, fitting in meant enduring their wealthy peers’ insufferable snobbery and constant judgment. Lastly, if things went wrong, public and military leaders put the full blame on the officers, risking court-martial or public shame.

Historical Professions That Actually Sucked: Part 20 Cooper to Vinter

              For every job you might see on TV, movies, or in a book, there are plenty of background people whose work remains invisible. Behind a blacksmith who creates weapons, tools, horseshoes, and other useful items, there were always smelters who had to refine the ore. Behind the scribe and printer are the people who had to make the paper. And behind the building professions are carpenters, brickmakers, smiths, masons, and sawmill workers. Anyway, ever wondered what a cooper was? Perhaps you want to know what a teamster may be. Or maybe you imagined yourself as a druid at some point. In this post, we look at ten more historical professions and their dark realities.

191. Cooper – If you’re not familiar with the term, a cooper is someone who made and repaired barrels, casks, and vats. Due to the lack of refrigeration until more recent times and a high demand for proper food storage, a cooper’s job was a very essential one. But their lives were often not a barrel of monkeys. First, coopers worked with green white oak, a wood that’s exceptionally dense and heavy. Workers routinely lifted and maneuvered staves and finished barrels weighing from 40-100+ lbs. Second, shaping wood by hand, bending thick staves using open fires and heavy chains, and hammering iron hoops required relentless muscular effort, leading to chronic back and joint pain. Third, learning the complex geometry and manual skills required to make a completely watertight vessel without glue took up to 4-7 years of low-wage apprenticeship. Fourth, despite requiring specialized, generational knowledge, traditional coopers were often poorly paid for the sheer volume of grueling manual work they produced. Fifth, bending wood required searing heat over open flames to toast and make staves pliable, increasing risk of severe burns. Lastly, if a tight cooper made a single mathematical or cutting error on a liquid cask, the entire barrel would leak, ruining expensive contents like wine, whale oil, or gunpowder, and forcing the cooper to start over. Still, on the bright side, John Alden served as a cooper on the Mayflower and Priscilla Mullins was perfectly happy to marry him.

192. Oil Rig Worker – Working on an oil rig is a dangerous business today. But back in the early industry times, it was certainly the stuff of There Will Be Blood. For one, to no one’s surprise, workers faced constant risk of blowouts, heavily failing equipment, and toxic gas leaks without modern regulatory safety nets. Second, severe safety failures often led to disasters resulting in horrific losses. Third, oil rig crews pulled 12-hour shifts, working up to 7 days a week for months at a time without a single day off. Fourth, the heavy physical labor (called “roustabout” work) involved handling greasy, freezing, or scalding machinery that regularly broke bones or wrecked backs. Fifth, workers spent weeks or months isolated on remote land sites or far out to sea platforms, completely cut off from normal social contact. Finally, onshore crews dealt with freezing, muddy wilderness nightmares. While offshore workers endured violent ocean storms to wash them right off deck.

193. Iceman – You may see icemen in the early scenes of Frozen where they take frozen ice blocks from the mountains. But the real icemen didn’t live as quaint a life as you might see in Arendelle. First, icemen hauled solid 50-100lb blocks of ice from horse-drawn wagons, carrying up multiple flights of stairs using sharp metal tongs. Second, a regular day began at 4:00 AM, working through weekends and holidays, particularly under intense summer heat where demand peaked and ice melted fast. Third, wearing heavy leather vests and wet burlap padding meant the icemen spent all day soaked in freezing meltwater, facing severe risks of slipping and joint damage. Fourth, because icemen had to be strong and visited homes during the day while husbands were away, communities gossiped about them and unfairly blamed them for neighborhood drama. Lastly, the job would fall into an irreversible decline with the widespread availability of the refrigerator.

194. Charcoal Burner – Before the coal mining became widespread, charcoal was often an industrial fuel of choice. But the charcoal burner’s life was not one you’d be burning for. First, charcoal burners constantly breathed in thick smoke filled with tar, acetic acid, creosote, and naphtha from pyroligneous vapor, ruining their lungs. While skin and eyes were permanently stained black and irritated by soot, ash, and flying embers. Second, charcoal burners lived in tiny, lonely huts deep in the woods far away from towns and families for months at a time. Lastly, charcoal burners were often feared and ostracized by mainstream society. Superstitious villagers often viewed them with deep suspicion, accusing them of witchcraft or dark, unnatural practices simply because they worked alone in the woods.

195. Teamster – Teamsters are mainly seen as truck drivers hauling goods from one place to another and venturing vast distances. But in history, a teamster’s job was an incredibly rough road despite their profession being among the most essential within whole economies. First, historical teamsters worked 12-18 hour days 7 days a week. An average teamster in 1900 only earned $2 a day at that, which is good by the standards but still pretty terrible if you account for the financial risks involved. Second, teamsters handled heavy freight in all weather extremes such as freezing mud, snow, and summer heat without any climate-controlled cabs. Third, if merchandise was lost, stolen, or damaged, the teamster was often forced to pay out. Fifth, teamsters were also held liable for bad accounts and failed collections from customers. Sixth, as with many jobs of the day, teamsters faced complete lack of labor laws, workplace compensation, or workplace safety regulations. Lasty, in the advent of our modern transportation and roads, we must account the risks of caring for horses pulling the freight wagons as well as rigors of traveling on unpaved roads. Then there’s the fact they had to care for horses which aren’t at all the low-maintenance animals they’re often perceived.

196. Ambulance Driver – Today, ambulance service is often taken for granted. But this wasn’t always the case in the olden days. And the ambulance driver’s life was far from a glamorous one. First, for decades, ambulance drivers had no medical training while paramedics and EMTs weren’t really a thing. Their only job was loading bleeding, broken, or dying people into a vehicle and drive as fast as possible. Since many towns and cities had no dedicated ambulance services, local morticians and funeral homes filled the void. This meant patients were thrown into the back of hearses alongside standard equipment. Before community-based care like Pittsburgh’s pioneering Freedom House Service changed standards in 1967, emergency transport in major cities frequently consisted of a police paddy wagon ride with zero treatment. Second, early horse-drawn carriages, converted Model T Fords, and military trucks had rigid suspension systems. Driving over unpaved and shell-ridden roads meant patients suffering brutal jolts that often worsened internal injuries. Historical vehicles lacked heating or air conditioning. Drivers and patients froze during winter fronts or sweltered in unventilated compartments during summer. Third, engines stalled, tires blew out on muddy tracks, and early vehicles lacked power steering or synchronized gears, making them exhausting to move through dense traffic or rough terrain. Fourth, during World War I ambulance operations, drivers like future Nobel Prize-winning author Ernest Hemingway faced active artillery and machine-gun fire despite Red Cross markings. Because medical convoys were often shelled on purpose. Lastly, wartime ambulance drivers had to pull screaming, severely mutilated soldiers directly out of mud-filled trenches, handle constant triage decisions under pressure, and watch young men die in the back of their vehicles with no way to ease their pain.

197. Undertaker – In our popular imagination, the undertaker is probably the creepiest but most well dressed-man in the historical village. He’d also be the one with the coolest-looking ride. However, being one in the past wasn’t anything to die for. First, before modern arterial embalming became widespread during and after he American Civil War, dead body preservation relied on heavy metals and volatile liquids. Undertakers regularly used significant amounts of toxic arsenic, corrosive alcohol, or primitive ice cooling boards. Second, during the 19th century, bodies often remained in home parlors for days. Thus, undertakers had to manage melting ice chests or rely on crude temporary storage while racing against decomposition in spaces without air conditioning. Third, 19th century mortality rates were exceptionally high due to outbreaks of cholera, smallpox, tuberculosis, scarlet fever, measles, and typhoid. Because autopsies and body preparations were done without protective equipment, ventilation, or sanitary running water in home visits, undertakers faced constant, direct exposure to highly contagious and lethal pathogens. Fourth, many early funerals weren’t just funeral coordinators. They were also local cabinet and furniture makers who had to build custom wooden coffins by hand on short notice. Fifth, undertakers were responsible for hauling heavy wooden caskets, navigating narrow staircases or removing house windows to extract bodies, digging graves by hand in all weather conditions, and managing horse-drawn hearses over unpaved, muddy roads. Sixth, if you’re familiar with Edgar Allan Poe stories, you’d know that the 19th century suffered from a cultural panic over premature burial. Undertakers had to frequently deal with distraught families placing bells, glass panels, or breathing tubes in coffins, demanding prolonged watches over the deceased. Finally, Victorian public mourning expectations were suffocating. Communities pressured undertakers to supply flawless, expensive carriages, plumes, and black drapery, often catching brunt of financial stress and social hostility over families deeply over-indebted by the cost of a “respectable” funeral.

198. Druid – Druids are often seen as the closest thing to wizards in anything pertaining to sword and sandal entertainment. Sure, they were religious figures, but they also did way more than that. However, their lives in Celtic Europe were nothing what you’d see on the screen. First, to be a druid in a society lacking a writing system, a student had to endure a 20-year education comprising of memorizing thousands of verses of law, history, medicine, and astronomy entirely by mouth. All because writing this sacred knowledge was strictly forbidden. Forget a vital legal precedent or ritual verse during an oral exam, your career and social standing effectively evaporated. No pressure. Second, Roman emperors like Tiberius and Claudius banned druids, with Roman legions actively hunting them down (such as the slaughter of Anglesey) because druids served as the political and spiritual backbone of anti-Roman rebellions in western Europe. Third, druids had to preside over high-stakes tribal rituals, which Roman historians included grim human sacrifices to appease the gods or predict the future. Of course, given how Romans depicted people they didn’t like, this might come across as propaganda. But archaeological findings of bog bodies in western and central Europe have lent some credibility to these allegations. Especially since a lot of them were determined as privileged nobles, maybe even chieftans. Lastly, druids functioned as supreme judges, tax-exempt elite, and diplomats in Celtic society. Whenever tribal wars broke out or deals went south, everyone expected a druid to either fix it or take the blame.

199. Ancient Egyptian Embalmer – Today mummies are often seen as iconic in our public imagination that they become the villains in a film franchise. However, the lives of people who actually mummify people were actually quite miserable under the sweltering Egyptian sun. First, ancient Egyptian embalmers worked in hot, enclosed spaces with decaying bodies, bodily fluids, and strong-smelling palm wine and resins. Organ removal was among their duties and comprised of a horror show. Brain removal meant shoving a hook up the nose to smash it and letting it drain out. They also had to pull out the lungs, liver, stomach, and intestines by hand through a small abdominal cut. Third, ancient Egyptian embalmers also stood in and around massive amounts of natron salt, which dried out corpses in 40 days. Yet, also severely dried and cracked the workers’ skin. Fourth, ancient Egyptian embalmers worked in stifling, hot “pure places” where the decomposition rate before the salt took effect was high and rife with bacteria. Though the embalmers themselves wouldn’t know that. Fifth, if you’re the guy who made the abdominal cut to pull out the organs, well, you’d be viewed as a desecrator. Meaning that after cutting the corpse open, you had to flee the crowd ceremonially threw rocks and curses at you for violating the body.

200. Vinter – In the public imagination, wine making is depicted as a rather quaint pastoral activity. But a vinter’s life wasn’t one of happy grape stomping. Actually since wine presses have existed since ancient times, grape stomping was more for the postcards than the reality. Unless there weas no way to afford one. First, given that they mostly operated in times before microscopes and modern scientific understanding, vinters didn’t understand yeast or chemistry, meaning random chance could turn batches into sour vinegar. Wine was stored in either porous clay or leaky wooden barrels without wooden seals, causing foul taste and rapid oxidation. To mask rot and spoilage, vinters added tree resin, lead, ashes, and seawater to the liquid. Second, during the late 19th century, a tiny aphid from North America destroyed millions of European acres, driving entire farming families into deep poverty, including vinters. Desperate grower tried bizarre and useless tricks to save their vines such as burying live toads under the roots to draw out the “poison.” Lastly, a single frost or unseasonal hailstorm could wipe out an entire year of income within minutes, leading to starvation and debt.

Historical Professions That Actually Sucked: Part 19 Galley Rower to Beekeeper

Many jobs we may see as quaint and simple weren’t always what they appeared. Being a town crier seems like just shouting events by the hour. Even though it also required being on night watch duty and facing an angry public over bad news. Chauffeurs are often shown driving rich people. But they also repaired cars and in the early days, handling a car was a more complex process than it is now. Medicine men and witch doctors are often seen as healing people through magic powers or herbs. But they weren’t magical. While they also had to memorize countless things from oral tradition and face blame while their treatments failed, especially when faced with European diseases. Anyway, ever imagined yourself as a galley rower on Ben Hur? How about a prince in the Ottoman Empire? Or even an herbalist mixing concoctions from ancient recipes? Here are ten more historical professions and their grim realities.

181. Galley Rower – Although the image of galley rowers in Ben Hur is a highly inaccurate one. For one, Ancient Greece and Rome didn’t have galley slaves. Most of their rowers were free citizen volunteers from poorer classes. And they were generally paid very well. Yet, in the early modern period, galley rower was a job for slaves and convicts within much of the Mediterranean. In the Baltic countries, they recruited armed conscripts. In any case, the reality was very brutal. First, rowers had to pull massive, heavy oars for hours or days straight without stopping. Overseers walked gangways with whips, lashing at rowers who slowed down from sheer exhaustion. While most rowers died within 1-5 years from disease, malnutrition, and exhaustion. Second, rowers were directly shackled to their wooden benches where they ate, slept, and relieved themselves without ever being unchained (that is when chain were used, which was very limited when rowers were slaves and convicts). Since galleys sat very low in the water, rowers just sat feet from the waterline, constantly getting soaked by freezing saltwater eating at their skin. While food and water rations were meager, often leaving men starving while performing heavy labor. So let’s just say it would be more historically accurate for Charlton Heston to resemble a Nazi concentration camp survivor than some sweaty cross fit guy at the gym. Finally, even if a rower managed to break from the chains, escaping was nearly impossible because local peasants hunted escapees for bounties. And if a ship escaped during battle, chained rowers drowned with it.

182. Match Girl – Although this description may evoke the idea of the tragic Hans Christian Andersen story about little girl who freezes to death on the street while trying to keep warm, this entry isn’t about her. Rather, it’s about the girls who made the matches she tried to sell. Many of whom would rather prefer freezing to death on a street than what they got. Especially if you’ve seen Enola Holmes 2. First, white phosphorus fumes caused phosphorus necrosis, a horrific condition where the jawbone rotted, glowed in the dark, and required jaw removal. Match girls also suffered from severe abscesses, tooth loss, and sometimes fatal brain damage. Second, match girls worked 14-hours day for a low weekly wage. To make matters worse, bosses docked meager pay for minor infractions like talking, dropping a match, going to the bathroom, or having dirty feet. Lastly, backbreaking and delicate manual labor left workers chronically undersized and underfed. While unprotected factory equipment caused lost fingers.

183. X-Ray Technician – The discovery of radium led to significant breakthrough with X-ray technology. But to be an x-ray technician in the olden days was not for the faint-hearted. First, technicians worked without lead aprons, barriers, or film badges. Second, workers routinely tested and calibrated live equipment by placing their own bare hands directly into the x-ray beam. Chronic exposure led to severe radiation dermatitis, horribly scarred skin, deformed nails, lost fingers, amputations, and fatal cancers. Third, early x-ray scans took up to 90 minutes and used thousands of times more radiation than modern medical imaging. Fourth, early x-ray equipment lacked proper electrical and radiation insulation, exposing technicians to high-voltage shocks and scatter radiation. Finally, outdated medical guidebooks from the mid-20th century taught x-ray technicians to use up to 60% more radiation on black patients due to false racist beliefs about bone density.

184. Newsreel Cameraman – Early developments in film led to the newsreels that played in theaters from the early to mid-20th century. Yet, as Buster Keaton may depict on The Cameraman, the life of a newsreel cameraman wasn’t an easy one. First, carrying heavy, hand-cranked or spring-wound 35mm cameras like the Bell & Howell Filmo and Eyemo weighed 30-40lbs or more. They also had to lug around heavy wooden tripods, extra film magazines, and heavy leather cases throughout rough terrain. While shooting these things handheld meant absorbing all the weight with your back and shoulders, resulting in physical exhaustion. Second, newsreel cameramen had to shoot in a variety of dangerous situations. They filmed at active front lines during World War II and other conflicts without modern body armor or embedded safety protocols. They had to stand dangerously close to speeding race cars, burning buildings, or natural disasters just to get footage of a thrilling act. They even had to face hostile protestors, riots, and physical violence while being visibly marked as press. Third, working with short film rolls that totaled to only a few minutes so you had to guess the exposure right the first time. They had to shoot blind without monitors, praying that the focus and exposure were correct because they couldn’t check until the film was developed days later. In addition, they had to physically ship canisters via plane, train, or motorcycle courier to meet high theatrical distribution deadlines before the news went cold.

185. Herbalist – In medieval villages, the herbalist was often the go-to person to provide for whatever ails you. First, should a plant cure fail or work too well, church and state authorities often accused local healers of magic or poison. Second, educated male practitioners and medical guilds eventually aggressively pushed independent folk healers out of society. Third, when plagues or unstoppable epidemics struck, herbalists often found themselves scapegoated by terrified communities. Fourth, foraging, digging roots, and processing tons of raw vegetation by hand required exhausting physical work in all weather types. Handling deadly nightshade, hemlock, and heavy metals without modern safety gear meant herbalists frequently poisoned themselves. In addition, plant potency wildly varied based on soil, weather, and storage time, making consistent dosing impossible. Fifth, herbalists mostly treated the poor who couldn’t pay, often receiving scraps, trade goods, or no pay at all. Sixth, reliance of unscientific systems like doctrine of signatures meant treatments were more based on superstition than actual results. Finally, unlike modern practitioners, herbalists had no formal protections, licenses, or institutional backing when treatments failed.

186. Grave Digger – Although digging a grave wasn’t a glamorous job, the reality was a whole other nightmare. First, due to machinery being nonexistent, graves were dug entirely by hand using shovels and picks. If the deceased died during the winter, then grave diggers had to break through freezing and hard-packed ground. They also faced collapsing dirt walls, toxic decomposition gases in confined spaces, and deep physical exhaustion. Second, grave diggers regularly handled bodies infected with deadly diseases like cholera, plague, typhus, and smallpox. Minor cuts or blisters from rough hand tools easily became infected from contaminated graveyard soil. Third, local communities shunned grave diggers whom they viewed as unclean, eerie, or bad omens. Lastly, despite performing an essential public health function, grave diggers were paid very little and kept trapped within the lower classes. That’s not mentioning the threat of resurrection men stealing freshly dead bodies for anatomists from the Scientific Revolution to well into the 19th century.

187. Ottoman Prince – Being a prince in the Ottoman Empire might seem like the lap of Oriental luxury. Because unless you’re the oldest or most favored son, two fates await you once your sultan daddy kicks the bucket. First, Sultan Mehmet II made a law allowing a new sultan to kill all his brothers to stop civil wars. The standard modus operandi was often a silk cord strangling so royal blood wouldn’t be spilled on the ground. Also, there was no exemption on infant brothers or rival babies. Because they got the silk cord strangling as soon as a new sultan took power. Later on, the Ottoman Empire stopped killing all brothers and instead locked them inside a luxury prison inside Topkapi Palace called the Kafes. Princes lived in these golden rooms trapped for decades with no idea what was going on in the outside world. While living in total isolation made many of these trapped princes deeply paranoid, sick, or mentally unstable by the time they accidentally got pulled out to rule. Let’s just say the whole caging princes thing led to a line of incompetent sultans and the empire went downhill from there.


Munitions workers could often be picked out in a crowd because of the distinctive yellow colouring of their hair and skin caused by the sulphur used in production. They were nicknamed ‘canaries’.

artist: Forbes, Stanhope Alexander

Place made: England, United Kingdom
made: 1918 Published: –

Copyrighted work available under Creative Commons Attribution only licence CC BY 4.0 http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/

188. Munitions Worker – Being a munitions worker was one way a woman could support the war effort back home. But the ladies who made the bombs and bullets did it with much sacrifice. First, munitions factories faced constant risks of massive, catastrophic explosions that could kill hundreds and obliterate entire buildings at once. Handling heavy artillery shells and fast-moving, poorly guarded equipment led to frequently lost fingers, hands, or limbs. Second, if you’re among the “Canary Girls” of World War II who handled sulfur and dynamite, then expect to have bright yellow skin to earn the degrading nickname. Speaking of the bright yellow skin, chemical exposure caused severe internal damage, destroying livers and killing workers through toxic jaundice. Third, factories ran day and night, forcing munitions workers to stand for grueling shifts up to 12 hours long. Many worked 6-7 days a week with minimal breaks, leading to extreme chronic exhaustion and physical burnout.

189. Lantern Maker – You often see lanterns in historical settings. But we often don’t know what it was like for the people who make them. And their lives were anything but well lit. First, soldering metal frames of horn or glass lanterns required constant work with molten lead, tin, and chemical fluxes, leading to heavy metal poisoning. Working in unventilated spaces with charcoal or coal fires used to heat soldering irons meant breathing in a daily diet of toxic fumes and heavy smoke. While cutting and piercing intricate hole patterns into sheet metal (for punched-tin lanterns) in dim, natural light destroyed workers’ vision. Second, before glass was cheap, lantern makers boiled and split animal horns (like cow or sheep) down into thin, translucent plates. This process smelled wretched and required razor-sharp scraping by hand to get the horn clear enough to let light through. Working constantly with thin, sheared sheet iron and brass meant deep cuts, punctures, and chronic infections were typical workday hazards. Fitting thin glass panes or delicate horn sheets into rigid metal frames without shattering or cutting oneself demanded extreme, stressful precision. Third, since lanterns were common household items, lantern makers couldn’t charge very much of them despite the grueling hours of manual labor involved. Finally, guild regulations, cheap mass production in industrial eras, and the sheer amount of time required to build a single durable piece kept lantern makers trapped in cycles of poverty.

190. Beekeeper – Beekeepers have always been essential for farming since the dawn of agriculture. But the historical beekeeper life was anything but honey. In fact, it was a thousand ways to get stung and instant death to anyone with a bee allergy. First, traditional straw baskets called skeps forced bees to directly attached to the dome. Thus, you couldn’t safely inspect or remove honey without a handful of stings. To harvest the honey and wax, beekeepers routinely suffocated or burned the entire colony using sulfur smoke, wiping out their own workforce. Of course, today we call it a suicide move. While squeezing the comb meant straining honey mixed with dead bee larvae and pollen, ruining the purity and making a sticky, rotting mess. Second, early face protection consisted of a crude woven wicker or sparse cloth masked offering poor visibility and allowed angry bees craw right inside. Heavy wool garments trapped heat and sweat, yet angry guards could still sting right through the fabric whenever the hive got agitated. Without controlled metal smokers, subduing bees relied on primitive, smoky fires that often failed or pissed off the swarm further. Third, total ignorance of modern pathogenic diseases meant a single microscopic infection or parasite outbreak wiped out entire apiaries overnight. Fourth, people blamed sudden hive abandonment or swarming on witchcraft, bad luck, or approaching death, forcing beekeepers to “tell the bees” of family tragedies to avoid curses. Lastly, should winter kill the bees, beekeepers lost both the sweetener and valuable candle wax with no way to buy quick replacement packages.

Historical Professions That Actually Sucked: Part 18 Auto Worker to Night Watchman

              What’s astonishing about many of these old jobs is how dangerous many of them could be before safety gear, regulations, and labor rights. If you worked near a furnace, you’re likely to inhale toxic fumes, be prone to so many deadly accidents, and likely not live past the age of 50. If you worked with cloth, expect back and joint pain and respiratory problems. While dyers often worked with flammable chemicals that often burned down their shops. Anyway, it’s likely that many of you would fancy yourselves as the town crier at some point. Or perhaps make medieval armor. Or even drive some rich person as a chauffer during the early 20th century. Here are ten more historical jobs and why they weren’t as great as portrayed.

171. Auto Worker – Sure, being an early auto worker seems like a job people would move to Detroit for, especially since Henry Ford’s facility promises a living wage. However, building Model Ts all say wasn’t all that it’s cracked up to be. Or why someone like Walter Reuther existed as Ford’s nemesis. First, workers faced fast, heavy equipment causing frequent crush injuries, cuts, and burns. Factories were also filled with paint fumes, metal dust, and smoke ruining eyes and lungs. While constant heavy lifting and rigid postures led to broken bodies and lifelong joint pain. Second, workers did the exact small task thousands of times a day. Bosses constantly made assembly lines move faster, leaving no time to rest or catch a break. While workers felt like robot parts instead of creative craftspeople. Third, economic drops meant workers losing their jobs overnight. While high stress bred intense anger and violence on the shop floor between workers and bosses. And note that Henry Ford loathed unions.

172. Telegraph Operator – Before telephones were invented, telegraph was a major way of communication throughout much of the 19th century. But operating one of these wasn’t just sitting at a desk clicking Morse code and transcribing messages. First, tapping in Morse code thousands of times a day caused a painful repetitive strain injury, similar to modern carpal tunnel syndrome. Operators also suffered from constant mental exhaustion and hearing strain from listening to clicking sounders in noisy stations for hours. Second, railroad operators controlled single-track train movements via key clicks, a single mistranslated dot or dash could cause a head-on collision. Speed was everything. Operators were strictly judged on how fast and accurately they could clear heavy message backlogs without stopping. No pressure. Lastly, operators or linemen had to venture out in pitch-black nights, storms, or war zones to fix snapped wires, risking electrocution, falls, or gunfire. While many worked long, lonely shifts in remote, drafty depots with minimal pay and little room for upward mobility.

173. Radio Operator – In 20th century war movies, you’d often find a man at the radio trying to give feedback as bombs drop everywhere. You may also find a radio guy on the ship as well. However, a radio operator’s life wasn’t as glorious in a war zone. First, enemy forces were specifically trained to spot and kill radio operators first to blind a unit calling in artillery, air support, or medical evacuations. Second, large whip antennas made obvious visual markers, drawing heavy sniper fire, mortar shells, and explosives right onto the operator’s spot. Third, operators had to stick close to commanders to relay orders, resulting them sharing the highest-risk footprint on the battlefield. Fourth, carrying bulky backpacks added 25-30lbs of extra weight on top of standard combat loads. Fifth, commercial maritime operators spent months isolated from family aboard ships with no outside communication except scratchy, delayed telegrams. Finally, early vacuum-tube gear ran dangerously hot and broke down constantly in humid and freezing conditions, requiring operators to manually troubleshoot complex wiring circuits under pressure.

174. Brick Maker – In historical films, books, and movies, you often see beautiful brick houses. And you never get to see the people who make them. But their lives often weren’t well stacked or laid. First, brick makers spent hours knee-deep in pits, trampling heavy clay and mud mixed with sand or straw by foot. Molding and moving took thousands of wet, heavy bricks by hand every day destroyed backs and wrists. While much of the grueling work in historical brickyards was offloaded to enslaved people, convicts, prisoners of war, or the poorest class of indentured laborers. Second, workers constantly inhaled thick clouds of fine silica and brick dust, leading to chronic lung disease and silicosis. Third, tending to primitive kilns and clamps meant enduring extreme, dehydrating heat for days on end during the firing process. Lastly, burning wood, coal, or coke inside poorly ventilated setups exposed workers to heavy smoke and toxic combustible gases.

175. Garment Worker – Many may admire the costumes of period dramas based in the Gilded Age. Yet, many have little idea on the people who made them. First, workers routinely toiled a 56-70 hour workweek, often stretching from early morning to late at night, especially during peak fashion seasons. Second, instead of by the hour, workers were strictly paid in piecework, which only amounted to pennies per day and less than $5 a week during the early 1900s. To make matters worse, bosses routinely docked meager pay through arbitrary fines for showing up a minute late, talking, or minor “damage” to the fabric. Third, cramped, poorly lit apartments doubled as both living quarters and production workshops, spreading diseases like tuberculosis. Fourth, sewing machine needles punched through workers’ fingers in the rush to meet strict quotas and lint-filled air ruined lungs. Fifth, factory doors were often locked from the outside to prevent unauthorized breaks or union organizers, leading to catastrophic disasters such as the 1911 Triangle Shirtwaist Factory Fire where 146 workers died, mostly immigrant women and girls. Sixth, verbal and physical abuse was common, and young immigrant women faced severe gender-based intimidation, harassment, and exploitation. Lastly, young children worked long hours in hazardous conditions instead of attending school, resulting in many being maimed and killed.

176. Paper Maker – For centuries, paper has been the material we write and print information on. But we often have no idea about those who made this crucial resource that’s shaped daily lives for over millennia. And their lives weren’t quite paper-made so to speak. First, workers sorted through discarded clothes collected by rag pickers off the streets. These textiles often carried filth, bodily fluids, and deadly contagions like smallpox or plague. To break down cotton and linen fibers, rags were packed into large vats with water and lime to ferment for weeks, creating an overpowering stench of decay where roughly 1/3 of the material rotted into a foul sludge. Second, finding enough cloth was a constant crisis. Mills faced sever deficits leading to “rag wars” and smuggling networks, forcing paper makers constantly hunting for worn-out scraps. Third, paper mills had to be built directly over fast-moving streams or rivers for water power, meaning workers spent long shifts in freezing, damp rooms, constantly handling icy water. Fourth, workdays weren’t measured by standard hours but by strict quotas of paper posts. Slow paper makers had to keep working by dim candlelight into the night. Finally, boiling, bleaching, and handling caustic lime to break down fibers ruined workers’ skin, burned their hands, and filled their lungs with caustic dust and heavy steam.

177. Soap Maker – Soap has been an essential component in human hygiene practices since ancient times. But making it wasn’t squeaky clean. In fact, it was a rather dirty and stinky business. First, soap makers used leftover, rotting kitchen grease or unrefined tallow from butchered animals that reeked before the cooking even started. Second, to get the alkaline base, workers bleached water through caustic wood ashes, handling a harsh chemical burning skin and blinding the careless. Third, boiling vats of rotting fat and caustic ash produced a vile, choking odor forcing soap houses to the edge of town. Fourth, batches required 6-8 hours of continuous heavy stirring over blazing open fires in massive, boiling kettles. Splashes from the boiling lye-fat mixture caused severe, blistering chemical and heat burns. Naturally, this was heavy, unglamorous domestic or low-class labor with absolutely no modern safety gear or ventilation. Fifth, in places like 18th century Great Britain, heavy luxury taxes on soap led to intense government surveillance, locked equipment, and mandatory minimum production quotas of one imperial ton per boil. Lastly, independent or small-scale soap makers faced severe fines or enforcement if they tried making or selling goods outside strict guild or tax laws.

178. Chauffeur – Being a chauffeur in a period drama seems like a cushy deal whether you’re driving Miss Daisy or romancing your boss’s daughter before attempting to eloping with her. Yet, the chauffeur life was anything but a smooth ride. First, early cars constantly broke down. A 1903 Cadillac advertisement joked that you bought a “round trip” meaning it might get you home before failing. Drivers had to preheat engine cylinder heads using dangerous “hot tubes” before the car could even start. While fixing solid rubber tire punctures and roadside engine failures meant working covered in grease, coal dust, and oil in all weather conditions. All of this makes one wonder how Branson was able to carry a romance with Sibyl on Downton Abbey. Second, hand-cranking a stubborn engine frequently resulted in severe backfires, breaking wrists, and fractured arms. Early unpaved roads turned into deep, impassable mud pits, requiring exhausting physical labor to dig vehicles out. While the earliest cars didn’t come with features like windshields, heaters, or enclosed cabs, leaving drivers exposed to freezing rain, snow, and scorching heat. Third, the word chauffeur originates from the French word for “heater-upper” or stoker, reflecting they were originally treated like industrial boiler workers. Chauffeurs also occupied an awkward middle ground: expected to act as deferential household servants while possessing specialized technical skills that their wealthy employers didn’t understand. They also faced intense public and media hostility during the “chauffeur problem” era of 1903-1912. They were unfairly blamed for road chaos while their employers squeezed their wages and demanded 24/7 availability.

179. Town Crier – You often see this guy ringing his bell in town and given news of the day within the market square. But although this seems like a rather easy gig, it was anything but. First, shouting “Hear ye!” all day in loud market squares ruined vocal cords. Second, if you’re on night duty, you also had to patrol the streets, chase criminals, and put out fires. Think about it as being both a nighttime beat cop and firefighter. And if ambulances existed, you’d probably be on paramedic duty, too. Third, criers stood outside and yelled in freezing rain, snow, and mud because microphones and speakers didn’t exist yet. But one would think they’d at least invent some rudimentary bullhorn to yell through. Fourth, criers had to announce tax hikes, bad laws, and executions. Even though hurting them was considered a crime, angry crowds still yelled at or threw things at them. To make matters worse, people actually paid criers to shame their enemies, neighbors, or cheating spouses, landing the crier in the middle of nasty personal fights. Fifth, mist criers often made very little money and had to take other jobs just to survive. Lastly, the job disappeared once cheap newspapers and radios let people read or hear the news themselves.

180. Night Watchman – Night watchmen always seem to be the friendly neighborhood night cop on the street in old movies. In real life, the job was far from quaint and one that didn’t bring respect it deserved. For one, patrolling unlit, muddy streets alone meant facing violent criminals, cutthroats, and rabid animals armed with little more than a wooden club or lantern. Second, the job sat near the bottom of the social ladder, often considered one step above a grave digger or executioner. Third, wages were so low or the work was so uncomfortably conscripted that only the most desperate people took the job. Fourth, watchmen earned a widespread reputation for being elderly, incompetent, or drunk on duty, making them the butt of endless jokes in plays and local town gossip. Lastly, the job required one to spend all night exposed to freezing winter cold, pouring rain, and thick fog without modern thermal gear or communication devices.

Historical Professions That Actually Sucked: Part 17 Steel Worker to Smelter

              It’s always interesting to see what’s considered quaint hobbies as once grueling jobs with long hours. Pottery was a factory operation that led to silicosis, lead poisoning and joint strain. Weaving caused respiratory problems, joint issues, and back problems. While a career in carpentry could wreck someone’s body before middle age. Anyway, have you imagined yourself riding an elephant in the jungle? How about performing on a Vaudeville stage? Or perhaps an old-timey archaeologist making a grand discovery and beating up Nazis before lunch. Just watch out for the snakes in the meantime. Here are ten more historical jobs and their dark realities.

161. Steel Worker – Another job that leaves many in the Rust Belt nostalgic, steel workers often made the material that was once used to build many city buildings during the Gilded Age and beyond. However, the life of a steel worker wasn’t one you’d wish on anyone. First, before you enter the mill, know that a typical workweek consists of 12-shifts 7 days a week. Also, expect shift switches every 2 weeks so you’ll be forced to work an occasional 18-24 hour shift without any rest. But at least you get holidays? Sorry, but mills rarely shut down which will only be the 4th of July. While holidays like Christmas and Thanksgiving simply don’t exist in this workplace. Second, ambient temperatures near open-hearth and blast furnaces are hellish, causing sweat to literally boil on a worker’s skin or pour through their clothes to fill their shoes. Expect to lose a massive amount of body weight within your first few months on the job due to the sheer physical toll. But you’ll also breathe in heavy smoke, coal dust, and invisible, odorless carbon monoxide gas causing chronic illness or asphyxiation. Finally, should a drop of water accidentally mix with molten metal or slag, expect violent explosions, scattering a liquid fire across the floor. Watch out for those high-speed rolling mills and snapping conveyor tracks that can launch multi-ton, glowing-hot steel-bars directly into the workspace at lethal speeds. Oh, and since this is the time before modern labor laws and safety enforcement, expect to encounter unguarded machinery, massive overhead crane failures, and fatal falls with no compensation or safety net if you’re maimed or killed. Oh, and if you complain and decide to go on strike, we’ll send private detective force to violently suppress it.

162. Archaeologist – With Indiana Jones and The Mummy franchises, entire generations grew up seeing a historical archaeologist as a daring adventurer. However, the real life of an archaeologist was nothing how Raiders of the Lost Ark makes it out to be aside from the unwitting destruction of ancient buildings and the fear of snakes. First, expect to move tons of dirt under basic picks, shovels, and wheelbarrows without mechanical help. Of course, porters will often be doing the actual digging but still. Expect to endure extreme heat, freezing cold, pouring rain, and constant dust or thick mud with primitive outdoor gear. And no, it won’t just comprise of a bull whip and a pistol. You’ll also risk tropical diseases, severe infections, dysentery, and poisonous snake bites far from any real hospitals. Thus, making Indy’s fear of snakes entirely justified. As for living conditions, expect to eat rancid rations, drink dirty water, and sleep in damp tents for months at a time. So best to know how to take care of your private business far from civilization and bring some extra pairs of brown pants and underwear just in case of an accident. Second, using blunt instruments like pick axes will frequently smash fragile ancient artifacts before anyone notices. Because you won’t have a microscope to record soil layers or organic remains, you won’t be able to know an item’s true historical story just so you can grab a shiny object that belongs in a museum. Also, you’ll have to blindly guess artifact’s age because modern science tools like radiocarbon dating don’t exist yet. Lastly, expect to wait months for mail, having zero communication, and being completely stranded in the earth’s remote corners. While moving heavy stone statues and crates of pottery across deserts or jungles using pack animals, wooden carts, or raw human muscle from porters. Yet, on the bright side, you won’t run the risk of activating an ancient curse should you uncover any ancient Egyptian tomb.

163. Vaudeville Performer – In historical movies and TV shows, Vaudeville and similar stage work are often portrayed as a stepping stone for many future Old Hollywood movie stars. Or remembered with great nostalgia as a family-friendly variety show that was accessible to middle-class families multiple times a week. Acts could be jugglers, illusionists, dancers, comics, singers, quick-change artists, short playlets or sketches, mini-musicals, or any craze or novelty capturing the public’s attention. But the reality was far from what the limelight portrays. In fact, it was more of a performance boot camp. For one, Vaudeville performers traveled from town to town every few days with no rest. Sometimes hopping on late-night trains to reach the next city on the circuit. In each town, they performed the exact same 8-10 minute routine 4-5 times a day. While no one wanted to get stuck in the dreaded opening and closing spots on the bill while audiences were still noisy or walking out. Since acts hired week-to-week could be instantly fired if no one laughed or clapped. Dressing rooms were tiny and constant transit disrupted sleeping schedules. Those just starting out made very little money while trying to climb the ladder. Some performers like Buster Keaton and songwriter George M. Cohan grew up on the Vaudeville circuit and within a show-biz family. Some entered as children trying to support their families. They also had to pay and fix their own props, makeup, and costumes, which ate at their paychecks. Strict, bad-tempered theater managers could cut and change one’s act on a whim. If an act was bad, harsh audiences could loudly boo or throw objects. Oh, and Vaudeville will eventually decline with the rising mediums of films and radio. Also, while plenty of people managed to achieve soaring popularity and fame, most usually remained poor and died in obscurity. Still, it was one of the first entertainments to cross racial and class boundaries. Not to mention gave us acts like Will Rogers, Charlie Chaplin, Lon Chaney, the Marx Brothers, the Three Stooges, Buster Keaton, Harry Houdini, Bill “Bojangles” Robinson, Eddie Cantor, Bob Hope, Cary Grant, Judy Garland, Laurel and Hardy, Jack Benny, Abbott and Costello, George Burns and Gracie Allen, Bessie Smith, Ma Rainey, Fred Astaire, James Cagney, Cab Calloway, Rita Hayworth, Sammy Davis Jr., and Mae West.

164. Elephant Rider – Riding an elephant often seems pretty cool when you watch movies taking place during a bygone time in India and the Middle East. However, being an elephant rider was anything but smooth, especially since they were used in war and logistics. Since it’s basically means sitting on an unpredictable, un-domesticated wild animal that could panic, had zero brakes, and made one a prime target in combat. For one, sitting on an elephant’s neck makes one an easy target for enemy archers, javelins, and siege weapons. Many riders were given a chisel and mallet. Just in case a war elephant panicked and began crushing its own army. That way, they could drive the spike into the elephant’s brain to kill it. We should also understand that despite being trainable, you can never truly domesticate an elephant. They’re just wild animals kept in captivity but still have their wild, skittish instincts. Loud noises, fire, or blood could trigger panic in an elephant. When they bolted, they often crushed friend and foe alike, ignoring your commands completely. And if you have a horny male, well, you might want to get your affairs in order. Not to mention, elephant riders likely had to care for their elephant 24/7 and taking care of them don’t come cheap. Probably should just stick to riding horses instead. Much less trouble.

165. Aztec Priest – In movies and TV shows, Aztec priests are often seen as sinister men decked in cool jewelry and willing to gleefully sacrifice freshly brought captives. But being am Aztec priest was more than just ripping hearts out of people. First, priests went through harsh schooling called the calmecac, where minor mistakes brought swift, violent punishment.  While they were cut off from normal family life, luxury, and comfort to live a life of heavy fear, endless fasting, and rigid duty. Second, priests constantly pierced their own ears, tongues, and legs using sharp cactus needles or maguey spines. They’d drag thick cords of straw through holes in their bleeding tongues. In addition, they had to wake up at all hours of the night to perform chants, keep fires burning, and watch the stars. Third, their temples were covered in old blood, making them smell like rotten slaughterhouses. During major festivals, high-ranking priests dressed up in freshly-flayed skins of sacrificed people and wore them for days. Finally, if crops failed, war was lost, or natural disasters hit, people often blamed priests for not praying hard enough or failing to keep the gods happy.

166. Medicine Man – In pop culture, Native American medicine men are often seen as healing wizards. In real life, there was nothing magical about these healing and spiritual leaders. First, during severe community crises or deadly epidemics like smallpox, tribes blamed or punished medicine men if treatments failed to stop disaster. If a prominent patient died or a hunt failed, angry tribe members could accuse a healer of dark magic or professional failure, leading to violent retaliation or banishment. Second, medicine men endured years of grueling apprenticeship, memorizing complex plant properties, tribal history, and secret rituals. Because in most Native American tribes, a written language is nonexistent. Third, medicine men were expected to fast, stay awake for long ceremonies, and place themselves in contact with sickness and injury. Lastly, authentic traditional customs strictly forbade charging high fees or making a profit for healing so medicine relied on modest gifts.

167. War Chief – Decked in war bonnets, Plains war chiefs always seem to be the most badass looking leader on the battlefield. However, the war chief life wasn’t what you’d see in the western films. For one, to earn the title, warriors had to experience face-to-face combat (touching a living enemy without killing them), taking an enemy weapon, and sneaking into an enemy camp. Second, a war chief needed to lead successful war parties while being personally responsible for the survival of his warriors under his command. Finally, war chiefs were expected to display unmatched bravery every single time conflict broke out, leaving no room for error or fear. Then there’s the fact that once white settlers entered the picture, they had to make heart-wrenching decisions whether to keep fighting, flee to somewhere else, or surrender peacefully and let settlers take over their land.

168. Ship’s Doctor – While the ship’s carpenter fixes the ship, the ship’s doctor fixes the people and often can’t be easily replaced. Yet, a ship’s doctor’s life during the Age of Sail wasn’t one of smooth sailing. For one, surgery meant amputations and wound stitching with raw, unsterilized tools while patients were fully awake. Second, due to a reliance on the now scientifically debunked theory of humoralism, ship doctors routinely bled patients, induced vomiting, or used toxic compounds like mercury to treat illnesses. Third, early practitioners were often lower-status “barber-surgeons” who pulled teeth and care alongside medical duties. Fourth, on a wooden ship, the “cockpit” or sick bay was located in the deep, dark hold, lacking proper space for instruments, lint, or clean dressing. Fifth, private practice vastly paid better, leaving ships to absorb unsuccessful and practitioners who lacked authority or proper uniforms. Finally, ship doctors had to manage catastrophic outbreaks of scurvy, typhus, and yellow fever with virtually no effective medicines.

169. Witch Doctor – In movies and TV, witch doctors often appear as wizards who treat people with magical voodoo. In reality, the witch doctor’s life wasn’t what you’d see on the screen. First, if a patient died or a crop failed, the healer often took direct blame for causing the tragedy through dark magic. Second, European folk healers and midwives were often tortured and executed during witch trials if church or state authorities viewed their non-standard methods as heresy. Third, during the expansion of European empires, traditional practitioners like Zimbabwe’s n’anga faced severe crackdowns and criminalization by colonial powers and missionaries pushing western medicine. Fourth, working with raw herbs, plants, and animal parts meant accidental poisonings were common. Mainly because exact dosages were unknown and accurate weights and measures didn’t exist. Fifth, witch doctors had no access to sanitary tools, germ theory, or antiseptic knowledge, so this naturally meant they worked in unsanitary environments with high infection rates. Finally, communities expected absolute miracles, resulting in with doctors bearing the physical and psychological burden of failure when facing incurable diseases. But at least, they never had to worry about their friends from the other side dragging them to Hell if he didn’t pay up.

170. Smelter – Although the role of a blacksmith is well represented, his supplier is barely visible in the popular imagination. But being a smelter was like being a blacksmith with all the danger and none of the glory. Even though they’re the ones who refine the metals so smiths could use them for their creations. First, inhaling heavy metal fumes (like lead, arsenic, mercury, and zinc) and sulfur dioxide caused chronic respiratory failure, neurological damage, and early death. Second, working inches from furnaces reaching 1,500-3,000 º F resulted in severe heat exhaustion, burns, and blinding cataracts. Third, direct exposure to molten metal and pressurized gases meant catastrophic explosions could maim or kill instantly. Fourth, operating archaic blast furnaces or crude bloomeries required round-the-clock manual labor and zero safety gear. Lastly, heavily lifting raw ore and crude tools cause crippling repetitive stress injuries, deafness from the air blast roars, and skeletal deformities.

Historical Professions That Actually Sucked: Part 16 Wig Maker to Carpenter

              Although we often see the gig economy as a recent invention, it’s hardly anything new. Hobos traveled cross country from job to job during hard economic times. Mercenaries went from war to war fighting for whoever paid them. Some women did other people’s laundry in their homes. Anyway, perhaps many have imagined themselves as composers or opera singers? How about as humble potters and weaver. In this post, here are ten more historical jobs and their dark realities.

151. Wig Maker – The 17th and 18th centuries were high time for wigs with anyone who’s able to afford one getting one. Yet, what about the guy who made these crazy contraptions? Well, it wasn’t quite hair-raising as you might assume. First, since good hair was difficult to come by, wig makers often scoured the countryside. They often bought locks from poor rural women willing to part with their vanity for quick cash, or from tanners and dealers who collected hair from morgues and battlefields. Second, to style the hair and keep its shape, wig makers heavily relied on animal fats like beef suet, lard, or bear grease. They’d then coat the sticky hair in heavily scented powders made from good starch and flour. Third, combine these animal fats with horrendous Cavalier years’ personal hygiene habits, the wigs quickly soured. Making wig makers battle the constant smell of rotting grease and sweat, often having to saturate the hair in overpowering flower or herb scents to mask the odor. Fourth, to get those tight curls, wig makers shaped the hair over clay blocks or wooden pegs, cover them in a thick paste of flour, and “bake” them in a bakery oven or specialized stove to set the curl. This was a delicate, hot, and highly combustible process. Didn’t help that curls were all the rage in 17th and 18th century hairstyles. Lastly, wearing wigs at the time was a way to hide conditions like syphilis and severe lice. Naturally, wig makers had to handle and maintain infested hair. Servants or wig makers themselves had to delouse, dirty, bloody, or pest-ridden wigs. On the bright side, this was a highly respected, heavily sought-after trade. Since a high-end wig could cost the equivalent of a common laborer’s weekly wages.

152. Dyer – Throughout historical media, you often see people decked in rather colorful clothes. Yet, none ever think how they came into those fabrics. Nonetheless, for much of history, being a dyer was considered one of the worst and most miserable professions. First, the ammonia found in stale urine was universally used as a mordant to help bind dyes to the fabric. Dyers fermented massive vats of it, and in the case of indigo and woad, fabrics were soaked in vats of rotting human urine for days. Due to the unbearable smell of toxic runoff and fire hazards, dyers were legally forced to the outskirts of towns or banished to the edge of rivers. Dyers’ hands, nails, and clothes were permanently stained the color of whatever they worked with at the time. Those specializing in black, brown, and blue dyes carried those colors on their skin for life. Second, dyers required mordants like arsenic, lead, and tin to set properly. Working directly with these substances over boiling pots led to heavy metal poisoning, respiratory issues, and severe health problems. Woad, the plant often used to make blue, required intense processing forcing workers to inhale airborne particulates that caused illness. Didn’t help that the work involved lifting giant, soaking wet fabric, constantly stirring boiling vats, and standing in wet, unventilated rooms. Third, because dyers seemed to magically transform drab, dull wool into vibrant, unnatural colors, they were often viewed with heavy public suspicion. Sometimes they’d be suspected as practicing witches. Despite producing fabrics that the upper class used to show off their wealth, dyers were typically treated as low-class members of the community and were excluded from elite merchant guilds from many cities. While heating vats of flammable acids, oils, and botanicals meant dye houses frequently burned down. Lastly, if a dyer miscalculated the water temperature by even a few degrees, the dyer would fail to set evenly, or the fabric would felt and be ruined. This instantly destroyed the merchant’s expensive raw materials, putting the dyer in deep debt.

153. Coal Miner – Although the job as coal miner was certainly no picnic, people have no idea how much it sucked during the Gilded Age or earlier when worker’s rights and safety regulations were practically non-existent. Especially when you account for how conservatives in the US seem to nostalgize over the profession (mainly because they come from rather economically depressed areas in Appalachia). First, miners faced constant threats of cave-ins, toxic gas exposure, and explosive coal dust. Before modern safety regulations, over 95,000 miners died in the US between 1900 and 1950 alone. Second, breathing heavy coal dust every day resulted in pneumoconiosis (black lung). This condition permanently damaged lungs, leading to a lifetime of agonizing wheezing, coughing, and premature death. Third, in many areas of the United States, coal miners lived in isolated, company-owned towns. The company owned their housing, tools, and the local general store, often paying them in company “scrip” instead of actual US currency. This kept miners in a continuous cycle of debt, making it impossible to quit or leave. Oh, and should miners die or suffer disabling injuries, the company would likely evict his family and leave them destitute. Fourth, mining was extremely physically demanding. Miners spent long 10-12 hour shifts hunched or crawling in narrow, damp, and dark tunnels swinging pickaxes, and hauling heavy carts by hand. Lastly, young boys (some as young as 9), worked the mines as “breaker boys,” sitting for hours in the dark, dusty conditions separating rock from coal, permanently damaging their hands and lungs. In some places in the US South, coal mining was done by convict labor who had poor food rations, cramped sleeping quarters, and inadequate health care. Violent convicts bullied and abused weaker ones. Physical punishments for not meeting coal collection quotas included whippings, being tied up and tossed into solitary confinement, and water torture. Shackles, chains, and other methods were used to prevent escape. Oh, and if anyone complains about the conditions and decides to go on strike, well, expect company town eviction and armed retaliation.

154. Orderly – In many old movies, you often come across the hospital orderly. Often depicted as a man, no one thinks much of them. Even though it’s a profession dating all the way back to the Byzantine era. Yet, this job wasn’t the sanitary image we often see, which was more of a nurse’s aide and a janitor. First, before modern germ theory and antibiotics, orderlies cleaned infectious wounds, handled biohazardous waste, and dealt with highly contagious disease at crowded hospitals. This put them at constant risk for contracting illnesses like cholera, typhus, and tuberculosis. Second, without modern lifting devices, orderlies did all the heavy lifting in hospitals. They were responsible for carrying heavy patients, turning uncooperative individuals, and lugging endless supplies and firewood. Third, orderlies were frequently treated as glorified servants, working shifts sometimes stretching up to 90 hours a week during wartime or industrialization. Fourth, orderlies were essentially subordinate manual laborers with no medical credentials, expected to take orders from doctors and nurses while performing the absolute “dirtiest” hospital duties. Fifth, orderlies assigned to asylums were tasked with subduing, wrestling, and physically restraining combative or mentally ill patients without the benefit of modern tranquilizers or safety protocols. Finally, the job lacked social status and pay was notoriously low. Since many people in the 19th and 20th viewed orderlies as a last-resort job for the unskilled working poor.

155. Potter – When we think of pottery, we often think of those people who do ceramics as hobby. Yet, in history, being a potter wasn’t something people did to relax. Far from it. For one, glazes relied on toxic heavy metals like lead, including the bright, shiny ones used in Mesopotamia and the Middle Ages. Potters also constantly breathed in silica dust, leading to silicosis and absorbed lead, which slowly accumulated into their bodies. Lead poisoning caused neurological damage, paralysis, sterility, and even death. Second, harvesting and preparing clay without modern machinery was grueling work. Digging from riverbeds, hauling it, and wedging it by hand required incredible strength. Throwing it or coiling thousands of utilitarian pieces caused lifelong joint and repetitive strain injuries. Third, the origin of the phrase “going potty” comes from mental deterioration historical potters suffered. Prolonged exposure to toxic metal and mineral vapors during the firing process deeply affected their nervous systems, sometimes inducing, “madness.” Lastly, because early ceramics were entirely utilitarian and meant for daily wage packets or basic food storage, potters in early civilizations (like Mesopotamia or Rome) were mostly viewed as low-class laborers instead of artisans. Since it was a trade driven by relentless demand and low profit margins.

156. Weaver – To many, weaving is a cozy, rustic hobby. However, in history, it was an exhausting and dangerous grind. For one, in textile mills, weavers used their mouths to suck the thread through the shuttle’s eye to thread the loom. This disgusting, repetitive habit known as “the kiss of death” rapidly spread tuberculosis through weave rooms, as a single infected worker could contaminate an entire space. Second, weaving required hunched, contorted postures for 14-16 hour days. Operating heavy treadle looms battered the weaver’s joints, causing severe back pain, respiratory problems from inhaling airborne lint, and even physical deformities in the spine and hips. Third, weavers were often trapped in cycles of debt. During the British colonization of India, agents (gomasthas) strictly supervised local weavers, forcing them to exclusively sell to the British at below-market while forcing them to buy materials at inflated prices. Fourth, when working from home, weavers had to operate in damp, poorly ventilated cellars. Moisture was necessary to keep the thread pliable so it wouldn’t snap, meaning weavers spent their days in cold, dark, and moldy environments that ruined their lungs and joints. Lastly, the invention of power looms during the Industrial Revolution (1760-1840) completely obliterated the handloom industry. Weavers who spent their lives mastering a complex, painstaking trade suddenly found themselves unable to compete with the sheer output and low cost of factory made textiles. Many of them would become Luddites because of this.

157. Opera Singer – Today opera singers are often seen as among the ultimate music artists. But when opera was in its heyday, this wasn’t always the case. For one, performers were historically viewed as public property and moral outcasts, often placed on the lowest rungs of society despite entertaining the elite. Society linked itinerant singing with promiscuity and lawlessness. This meant female singers were frequently branded with the status only slightly above sex workers. During the 17th and early 18th centuries, young boys with exceptional voices were castrated to preserve their high pitch, facing a lifetime of fascination mixed with deep social alienation regarding their mutilation. Second, singers had to force their voices to cut through massive live orchestras without microphones, leading to chronic vocal strain and premature burnout. Vocal health treatments in past centuries often included dangerous substances like mercury, bloodletting, and toxic concoctions prescribed by quack doctors. Performers also faced grueling travel conditions in unheated carriages, performing nightly regimens wrecking their physical health. Finally, lacking labor protection, opera singers entirely depended on the whims of wealthy aristocrats or theater managers who could withhold pay at any moment. While opera crowds could be notoriously volatile, ready to riot, throw heavy objects, or loudly boo performers who cracked a note or fell out of favor.

158. Composer – Today, we often view classical composers as old masters whose music can supply a year’s worth of prestige 19th century cover bands (orchestras). But the life of a composer wasn’t exactly music to anyone’s ears. For one, even successful composers like Johann Sebastian Bach and Joseph Haydn had to were treated like household staff, required to wear uniforms, and eat with the cooks. Bach had to write a brand new cantata for every single Sunday church service, leaving him no rest. Especially since he’d eventually have a total of 20 kids within 2 marriages. Not to mention, having other things to do like teaching music during the day. While princes and kings could fire composers or ban their music on a whim if a piece sounded too complex or modern. So if it ain’t Baroque, that might be a problem. But certainly no problem you can’t Handel. Then there’s the fact modern copyright regulations are non-existent. So anyone could copy, sell, or change a composer’s sheet music without paying them a single cent. Poor health was treated with bleeding and toxic mercury treatments. And no, neither made Robert Schumann’s mental health issues or Beethoven’s deafness any better. While many great composers died young, broke, or exhausted from overwork and untreated infections. Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart died from what was likely a sudden illness at only 35 with outstanding debts (though he wasn’t buried in a pauper’s grave). Franz Schubert died at only 31 just as his career was taking off from what was likely typhoid, though some suspect syphilis. Felix Mendelssohn died at only 38 after a series of strokes, possibly fueled by nervous problems (seizures) and overwork, leaving a wife and 5 kids. Frederic Chopin died at 39 officially from tuberculosis but he had been in bad health since his childhood. Yet, historians even debate his cause of death, too. While Robert Schumann died in a sanatorium of pneumonia at only 46. But at least composers left such beautiful music for the masses. Yes, but keep in mind that Bach’s music was almost lost until the 19th century when Felix Mendelsohn rediscovered it for the masses. Seriously, ending up famous and rich like George Frederic Handel was often the exception than the rule.

159. Street Sweeper – In historical movies and TV shows, the streets are often immaculate whether the setting be a cobblestone village path in Europe or a dusty street in the American West. Somehow this makes a street sweeper seem like a guy with super-speed powers. Yet the reality wasn’t a clean sweep. First, in the days before cars, thousands of working horses, oxen, and farm animals dropped tons of manure onto city roads daily, which required shoveling by hand. Gutters doubled as sewers filled with rotting food, dead animals, and the contents of household chamber pots. While heavy coal ash, soot, and chemical runoff coated paving stones during the Industrial Revolution. Second, unsurprisingly, workers faced high rates of fatal infections like cholera, typhoid, and tetanus from exposure to biological waste. Breathing in thick clouds of dried horse manure, dust, and coal particulates caused chronic and fatal respiratory illness. Manual sweepers worked directly in unpaved or cobblestone streets amid unpredictable, fast-moving horse-drawn carriages and early automobiles without safety gear. Lastly, municipal and independent sweepers barely earned enough to survive, leaving their own families hungry while cleaning wealthy neighborhoods. Informal “crossing sweepers” (often the poorest workers or children) were seen by society as barely better than beggars, relying completely on unpredictable tips from rich pedestrians.

160. Carpenter – In historical settings, a carpenter seems like a rather good paying benign job. But historical carpenter often didn’t have it so easy, especially since they spent most of the past without power tools. First, every board had to pit-sawed by hand (this involved one person standing in a pit covered in sawdust, the other on top) or shaped entirely with heavy hand planes and adzes. Splinters, severe ax wounds, crushed fingers from heavy timber framing, and eye damage from flying wood chips were a constant part of the carpenter life. While working at dangerous heights on scaffolding made from tied-together poles and frayed ropes meant a single slip could result in death or permanent disability. Second, lifting massive green (wet) oak or pine timber beams without cranes or hydraulic elevators wrecked backs, knees, and joints before a carpenter reached middle age. Since work was mostly outdoors or in open-air frames exposed to freezing winters, pouring rain, and scorching summer heat. While sharpening heavy iron and steel hand tools took hours of grueling grindstone work after a 10-12 hour workday. Finally, many carpenters were poorly paid, sometimes in food, land use, or trade goods rather than in actual coin, making it difficult to pay taxes and debts. Training started in early youth as an unpaid or low-paid apprentice, enduring years of strict servitude under a master craftsman just to learn the trade. While work was entirely seasonal and project-based. When winter hit or a local community’s money dried up, carpenters faced immediate poverty.