Deck the Halls with These Christmas Craft Projects (Fourth Edition)

christmas-tree-near-fireplace_0

When it comes to decorating for Christmas, you can bet it includes such trappings like an ornamental tree, stockings, poinsettias, wreaths, and more. Though many homes might not include a cozy fireside. Since such yuletide décor can be a serious fire hazard. Nonetheless, walk into any store and you’ll find a wide assortment of Christmas decorations for your home. But there are plenty of people who’d rather make their own holiday trappings. Of course, craft stores are happy to oblige. Not to mention, children also make some of their Christmas decorations in their art class. Still, unlike the treats I just showed you that must be eaten before an expiration date, Christmas craft projects can be used year after year. So for your reading pleasure, I give you another treasury of Christmas crafts for the season. Enjoy.

  1. A place mat should always have a matching coaster.
00bc89037766b0fd1f2c8221ff7a3477

This is a knitted place mat depicting a Christmas tree. Though the coaster has red bows on it.

2. Hark! The golden angel sing.

0aa43753203f3cb1f64e51e0d013130b

This one might’ve been made out of golden paper. Yet, she has golden hair while her golden wings contain stars.

3. May I interest you in a snowman tulle wreath?

0b792ce78720e56f07843aa2e16f165a

This one has a green tulle wreath in between the head and bottom. Includes 3 baubles in the center.

4. Perhaps a small square wreath of wood will suit your fancy.

1b64aac635025dd25d65346e7f17d2b3

This one includes a house and stars. Perfect for any rustic holiday home.

5. A red lantern can hold plenty of shiny baubles.

4fd9dc99c0abec1b6d4858961eaefdf2

You can even put lights inside. Though make sure they’re electric. Also like the snowflake and ribbon.

6. A glass snowman can shine in the dark.

5a366ff3d517ae8b61f8a4d7dfa3cdf0

Because the snowman has lights inside. But unlike a real snowman, it won’t melt in warm weather.

7. Serve your winter dishes on these knitted snowman mats.

8b6c7e5104613eb4d4585cf07b8329c8

They come as a couple with buttons and bows. So adorable.

8. Make your home a winter wonderland with this crocheted snowflake garland.

9f5eb3b2bda5886528c63c6ab53bdb2e

These are great for decorating the tree with. As long as it doesn’t get tangled in any limbs.

9. You should always include a Christmas ornament that includes pearls.

9ffe9bdb84e900938d055344e3c27753

Of course, the pearls are fake. But if you have a broken pearl necklace you don’t know what to do with, this is for you.

10. A clay Santa will always brighten your holidays.

010e939a17c96b7821e371894bc294b3

This clay Santa holds a candy cane while wearing a candy cane scarf. And yes, it’s adorable.

11. Don’t like wreaths? Hang a wooden Christmas tree.

38e99fcead3e60984169f51754b64379

This tree is painted with ornaments and includes a ribbon candy cane. Perfect for any front door.

12. Commemorate your Christmas with a flower pot snowman.

58ce0252b04ca237fa2fc49139b9d5a4

Though hte pots are different sizes. Includes a place to light a candle. So cute.

13. Care for an angel with golden hair?

78d7d1c21d9d0e66a3f1e51eb09f8863

This one has iridescent wings with feathers and a glittering gown. Love the halo.

14. Perhaps you might like a fancy bauble.

89a4ad26d230fd132380066b53983776

This one is encrusted with jewels and pearls. Wouldn’t mind having this on my Christmas tree.

15. A Christmas angel should always shimmer in a blue gown.

91a971e1daee26cee7b5df7cefb122ed

This one has matching bow wings. While she holds a rose in her hands.

16. Honor the birth of Jesus with this wooden nativity panel.

00192c078d5d6d23bc366b9fd14ce09d

This one has the nativity painted with white. Great to put under the Christmas tree.

17. Grace your front door this winter with a snowflake wreath.

392e2c7437271dd2462ddfc502b1fa5c

Not sure what these snowflakes are made of. But I have a feeling they’re quite delicate.

18. A jeweled Christmas tree should always include pink roses.

603d6e97bef0a6e2cac6bcc197a2e520

This one even has a jeweled frame. Also includes a dove near the middle. So pretty.

19. Behold the King with this wooden nativity scene.

694bcea5e22a7c0b47358ea81e050a06

You can even light a candle inside. As you can see with the star opening.

20. A beaded snowflake makes a fine addition to a Christmas tree.

0828c5f590f34dc90c43c8b7ae9e5eec

Consists of blue and pearl beads in a snowflake design. Hope it shines bright on any Christmas tree.

21. This cork Christmas mouse has a present for you.

917a17f1bd65d5842a710c2e95ba2bd2

It has a little green scarf around its neck as well as wire appendages. So adorable.

22. Capture the spirit of the season with this peg nativity scene.

968cfe67b388a3bc1c217502537cbc16

This one depicts the figures in felt robes. While the manger is a basket.

23. A cloth Christmas tree should be well decorated.

1009ca327e39a19ac98c69e4ca6adc75

These have beads with folded red and green cloth. Though the one with pearl beads stands out much better.

24. A wooden panel of a tree will always do.

5501ecf66b07d71d0dccba4b8c864c07

This one has snow falling as well. A great Christmas decoration for your holiday home.

25. Ever seen a Christmas tree made out of baubles?

5867cf8041f2f5653243422dd530bdd2

This one has a lot of brightly colored ornaments piled together. Though I’d go with a different topper than a spire.

26. Perhaps a Christmas ornament can use some lace.

6551efb68051bc406267454a685eb858

It’s basically a ball covered in red silk and lace. Includes pearl and red ribbon decoration.

27. Anyone would adore a snowflake with pearls.

6620d00d2162f88646399ca802babd88

This one has large pearls on its 6 points. Perfect for hanging on any Christmas tree.

28. Celebrate the holiday season with this yuletide box of jars.

8367fb63ed9c847c60fe68df80d91abf

These have berries, branches, and pinecones inside. If you want something more naturalistic, this is for you.

29. Greet your guests this Christmas with this quintessential shiny wreath.

9588baa93e4f7f67d5452099f9a68f16

This one has baubles and ribbons. If you want a festive Christmas, you’d love this wreath.

30. Get your cat ready for Christmas with its very own reindeer hat.

18669cb550d49a580e1bfa82809e4c8d

Well, it’s a crocheted hat for cats. Still, I don’t think Schnookums is impressed.

31. This wooden Santa panel is here to greet you.

37861b036bd006c8ce90866484be3da5

He’s got berries and a jingle on his hat. Yet, his mustache is gray.

32. Nothing makes the winter holidays like a snowflake wreath like this.

60914db9eb38619284520b057f0f0f2f

Yes, this is another snowflake wreath. But this one has smaller snowflakes and is held by a dark red ribbon.

33. Nobody can resist these felt Christmas trees.

70304f0a3a3aabc4f710e44ea37896cb

These even have button ornaments. Yet, always a yellow star on top. So cute.

34. Make it a holy night with these nativity scene finger puppets.

84748d5f3757f6ab0840488721106877

They’re all made out of felt, including the animals. Though I’m not sure if you wear the animals on your finger.

35. Keep your little ones’ feet warm this year with a pair of reindeer booties.

448579e3c5f6f6ef9faa578acb780c3b

Both have red noses to indicate Rudolph. Nonetheless, these are adorable.

36. Hang up your Christmas stockings with this hook set.

734620a90b0d4d50438eb54435fc93b3

Reads “All the stockings were hung…” which is straight out of that classic Christmas tale. Love the snowflakes though.

37. A stick Christmas tree is better than none.

1466630c8888151a5c1c57d06d2d2e05

Helps that it has a lot of shiny ornaments. If it didn’t, it would just be a bunch of sticks.

38. A cinnamon star ornament can smell just as nice.

31569908cb0b70e98238e6ef7ea46db1

Includes pinecones, holly berries, pine branches, flowers, and a jingle. Though I’m not sure if the cinnamon sticks are real.

39. To make spirits bright, may I suggest this pink Christmas tree?

55643623aaadbbd853e3264a8520585f

This one is perfect for those who like vintage decorations. And I believe it’s mostly made from tissue paper.

40. Keep your little one’s head warm with this crocheted gingerbread beanie.

8429589341df85738ffcfbc247848053

Includes button eyes. Yet, this one is made for a girl as you can see by the red bow on the top.

41. The wreath has to match the mittens.

4234568136225df555cf186b40ba3dbf

Okay, they’re stuffed ornaments. Yet, while the mittens have pom poms, the wreath has a jingle.

42. Do you want to build a wine cork snowman?

a2b46aeff0d77a783608537dc174e0f6

Includes button eyes and smile and a felt carrot nose. Like the fleece hat, by the way.

43. Have a festive holiday season with this bauble Christmas wreath.

a3cf28f517aa2a392015ed9e1c520ac9

This one has baubles of various sizes and colors with gold decoration. Perfect for any front door during the Christmas season.

44. Brighten your holidays with a snowman bottle light.

a8af9dd8e1a2f964ea0c7a1113e83087

The outside is painted with a snowman and winter scene. But there are plenty of lights inside.

45. Perhaps this crocheted Christmas wreath will suit your fancy.

a9fe3dc8fa269dc1e8c701537a569ea9

Almost thought it was an ornament. Yet, you have to love the yarn wreath in the middle.

46. Love the Grinch? Well, you’ll adore this wooden panel.

a93b5e945ac7268a32be63dce921cee4

However, I’m not sure if I want to see the new Grinch movie. Since I heard he’s not supposed to be like the Grinch I grew up with.

47. You can always have a colorful snowflake.

a236e9852788e09e474213603249c2db

It’s a clay ornament. Yet, it’s a snowflake consisting of flowers and holly berries for your tree.

48. Care for a pom pom snowman?

a7389aea7b0608142ebbaba776ea86f0

Not sure how big this little guy is. But it’s nonetheless adorable and will melt your heart.

49. Since Christmas is no season for flowers, you might want a bouquet of baubles instead.

ac9e73da50d150ffb70c070726bff7a2

Unlike poinsettias, you won’t have to throw it out after the Christmas season is over. So you can use it year after year. Makes a great centerpiece.

50. You can keep plenty of candy inside these snowman flower pots.

b01b3e8a1ee413eef9c01062d783e68e

One holds candy canes. The other holds peppermints. Yet, both are so cute.

51. Nobody could resist these flower pot snowmen.

b8a4b2b4ed7d693d524c21ce6465293c

Both have buttons and fuzzy scarves. Love their hats. So cute.

52. Would you like all your baby penguins in a box?

bbc0df170f376c0b6fb98867ba7d6a79

These are all felt penguins of all sizes and expressions. Yet, the fit in this little case as snug as bugs. And yes, they’re adorable.

53. Perhaps you might prefer birds on a tree slice.

befe9797f13f38433209660ad2a6589a

Consists of painted branches and stone birds. So would you go with bundled up birds or owls?

54. Take a tissue from Santa or Frosty?

c0aaa1a815889efd1727ee5967ef651a

Both are crocheted Kleenex dispensers. Santa has a wreath. Frosty has a tree.

55. Any little girl would love these Christmas tutus.

c9ac4265f0ea4e9b613316b77d1736a9

These have little Santa belts and fuzz on top. And yes, they loo so cute for a Christmas party with family.

56. Greet your Christmas guests with this wooden tree hanging.

c9f7efe23f3ba0c92334e3600b02b4be

It’s a tree made out of a tree. How crazy is that?

57. Make your Christmas merry with these yuletide finger puppets.

c644c810e3d14791a7b4035aac1e9c77

They’re made out of felt. Consists of all your favorite Christmas icons. So adorable.

58. These snowman dowls will warm your winter holidays.

cab43c3882142a9dc3391d600dae0b31

Though they seem to have funny expressions on their faces. Yet I love the scarves and décor around their necks.

59. A Christmas centerpiece should always brighten a room.

cff2979c1f50d163f44827b29de65c11

Includes a lot of star lights for some reason. Yet, you can put a candle on top. Lovely.

60. A gingerbread house in your tree is a delight.

d8daf010134bad2fd4807399af7d345e

This is an ornament of a clay gingerbread house. Includes candy canes holding up the roof.

61. Welcome your holiday guests with this rustic frame.

d9a076796e55ea52d498bfcbe96ef2f5

Seems like a flannel ribbon and the word, “JOY.” Includes berries, pinecones, and branches.

62. You’ll get a frosty reception with this holiday wreath.

d53b2343b140842ff17ad887a5431e1b

The snowman wears a glittery blue hat with a matching striped scarf. Includes baubles and snowflakes.

63. Protect your hands in the kitchen with this poinsettia pot holders.

d224ba2209d6486c796103cbb4a529e7

It’s crocheted in its full flower glory. Though I wouldn’t want to do anything to this one.

64. Greet the new born king with this egg carton nativity scene.

dab51dbf6ce58916d293ee0936fdb05d

This just consists of Mary, Joseph, and Jesus. Though the carton seems rather small.

65. Care to see a few Santa hat cones?

dd2d4b43dc1f22db83d1f46cad1dd1bd

These have jewel encrusted belt buckles. And all sit upon a box full of shiny balls.

66. A fancy candy cane wreath will suit your holiday door.

def133479cfbc8fc8ca3d2ac5751d65e

Has a snowflake in the center. Yet, you’ll find plenty of white balls all around.

67. Might you be interested in some little sleds?

e6c7d7a1a0e6634cc784386d8465dd58

They’re all made out of popsicle sticks. While each have a branch and a couple jingles.

68. Impress your neighbors with this Christmas tree with poinsettias.

e7d6466636b5fa128ba62c20c82c858e

Sure it’s kind of artificial. But the poinsettias are quite shiny. Love the blue pot, too.

69. Sometimes 2 wreaths are better than one.

e8fd6f349b2e4fa9b6297b06b101d76b

Includes berries and flowers along with gold leaves. Perfect for any holiday front door.

70. With this hanging, you’ll be saying “Ho, ho, ho.”

e158f33a7a0ff2285db4336675f9f7a9

Each of them is stuffed as each “ho” is put in a variety of patterns. Love the bow at the top.

71. This crocheted gingerbread lady seems good enough to eat.

e962ff3b34073b7f466b5b15a5f721fc

She even wears a dress and apron. Nonetheless, so cute.

72. Anyone want a knitted plush ornament like these?

e7963e4ca3ffac560922607b7a34d4c5

Consists of Santa, elf, Rudolph, polar bear, and penguin. Just a bunch of cuteness in one place.

73. Nobody could resist this felt snowman with a cardinal.

e773124abe8eee5d8f66ce0ab494d2ed

It also carries a stash of evergreen branches. Yet, you can’t help but love it.

74. Perhaps you might want a dash of nature in your Christmas decorations.

e2023903fff52c217fda088d74a138b4

Consists of a tree with berries and pinecones. not sure what those stick things are though.

75. Christmas is always festive with a peacock wreath.

f41de7fade05cd54d068fe85823aef66

Includes brown and blue baubles. But you have to adore the feathers on this one.

76. Prepare your Christmas feasts in this Santa apron.

f539bd84e448faeac0745aab276755bd

Includes a red oven mitt and a Santa’s little helper apron for kids. While each apron has a belt in the middle.

77. These Christmas tree earrings are in the style of the season.

f915fa5ead39c11bcc20bfd5e194a489

These are made out of green wire with jewel beads. So feel free to wear them with your ugly Christmas sweater.

78. Can I interest you in a button wreath?

faab753d6042e4f8635145201b5fe2e9

Most of the buttons are pearly white. Though the green background is to be desired. Think a darker green one would be more fitting.

79. Always let it snow with these wooden snowmen.

fdd3de30b609c6df1a346c43d79f125c

Yes, it’s a whole family of snow people. And each is respectably bundled up.

80. Curl up on your couch this holiday season with these Christmas amigurumi.

fea2ed76afa7b5e1d6780f0c337c8268

Consists of Santa, Mrs. Claus, a reindeer, and Frosty the Snowman. And yes, they’re all adorable.

81. A felt angel should always have pearls.

1da5c6ae4c2ec4960e7dc0547f5f3910

This is an angel ornament. Yet you have to admire the purple top and wings. So pretty.

82. Of course, you should always cover your Christmas ornaments with jewels.

003fd3bda19a5c73abbaaa24f54e497c

Includes chains of encrusted jewels and pearls. Love this.

83. We can all use a few falling snowflakes.

3f089ba5fb3608a5300063af1ede89e2

Well, it’s more of a hanging with snowflakes on them. But each is unique and beautiful in its own way.

84. Would you like a dove on a Christmas ornament?

4c798e12ea2faf90430516a9077b1e12

Though it does have glitter in its wings. Like the jewel encrusted flowers though.

85. While some top their trees with stars, some top them with angels.

9d8ee79c3ec1f587e65aef649ecfa649

This one has feather wings. Yet, she has a rather lovely dress as she holds a star.

86. Want a couple of skates on your Christmas tree?

14f5f7e3cc5a60c06b9249341a92235e

These are crocheted with paper clip blades. Love the bows though.

87. Decorate your Christmas tree with some funky stockings.

99f77e25b77bd862388d12e36a66e050

Indeed, they’re all quite small. But each is in a rather wide array of colors and stripe patterns.

88. All of these snowmen are in the same pot.

b312482735e6f9c5fdaf1b2cd3acbfe6

Think they might be made out of socks. Still, they’re so adorable they’ll melt your heart.

89. Dress for the season with these beaded Christmas tree earrings.

bd4fa925388ace887e83bea12788bb03

These are wire earrings with beads on them. While there’s a gold dangling bead on the bottom of each.

90. Some might have a sweet tooth for this gingerbread tree.

e2abd0840c27456ee7e3f7e0153d41a3

Don’t worry it’s crocheted. But it has an assortment of candy ornaments with a peppermint on top.

91. Keep yourself warm this holiday season with this crocheted winter hat.

f1fe643658f605c605be342c584206ec

It’s designed like a Santa hat. Except that it covers both ears.

92. Everyone would love to have this Mrs. Claus ornament on their Christmas tree.

3ab8ee9b3a98c49a175e9f695ac96047

She’s got a wooden head and a tulle dress. While she carries an ornament in her hand.

93. You can always please with a berry wreath.

65d9ef674b4bb09c21e4b68e0b750f3e

Includes leaves and pinecones. Still, it’s perfect to have in your dining room if you prefer a rustic setting.

94. You might prefer presents on the stand.

43a410de07d50e757e980602f146b458

These consist of boxes with ribbons on them. While the stands are also red.

95. A candy cane candle holder is perfect for any Christmas table.

5cbcdb7c41510d116f96dc0f4e453e2c

Mostly consists of candy canes tied with a bow. Best for a tall candle like this red one.

96. Don your mailbox for this Christmas season.

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA

Includes berries, pinecones, and evergreen branches. And it’s all topped with a red bow.

97. Countdown to Christmas with this Christmas tree advent calendar.

ffcc5b2943c6bac082c0bca52ed5c698

Each ornament comes goes into a little slot when it gets closer to Christmas. Or is it the other way around?

98. Put your Christmas presents in this Santa tote.

dfbc2a9f8ba9e4ecf5866e178f86149c

This one has a belt and fuzz fringe characteristic of Santa’s suit. Best when you play Santa Claus.

99. A flower pot Santa will always usher in the Christmas spirit.

9389b7b8ea308994f1989e1ac399697f

This one has Santa carrying a sack and a star. Also like the tree behind him. So cute.

100. A peacock Christmas tree dress should always stun during the holiday season.

323b28c1782161a5c65b26e965033436--holiday-dresses-yule

It lights up with blue and purple foliage. Love the peacock feathers on the top. So pretty.

God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen on These Christmas Treats (Fifth Edition)

christmas-2

Food has always been essential to a Christmas feast since the holidays are a time for friends and family. On any platter you may find turkey or ham as a main course along with so many other delights. While desserts often feature Christmas cookies shaped like Santas, reindeer, trees, and other icons of yuletide yore. In any case, a large Christmas table often leads many to list weight loss on their New Year’s Resolutions which they’ll never fulfill. Anyway, over the years I’ve done an annual Christmas treat post featuring plenty of unique food this holiday season. Though many of these treats are professionally made, some don’t seem hard to make at all. Yet, I’ve found most of them on Pinterest or on Google Images. So for your reading pleasure, I offer another assortment of Christmas delights. Enjoy.

  1. A reindeer cake should always include golden antlers.
00e8ba66e8ceda6e15398eccb85c2182

It also contains golden ears and red nose to indicate it’s Rudolph. Even has jingles on the collar.

2. Watermelon Christmas trees are a delightful yuletide treat.

1a59f4720a886398981e7078bf347bf5

This just has Christmas trees cut out from watermelon. May not be green, but they’re simple enough.

3. Nobody could resist this penguin cake.

1b9f72c8355ad41f992098804fedcfc0

This guy wears a Santa hat with a bough of holly. While its face is just so adorable you want to eat up.

4. Would you like a train on your plate?

1d5643047c3686eab3139fad3377c639

This mostly consists of graham crackers, whipped cream, and M&Ms. Great for kids to make for themselves.

5. Do you want to build a snow tree?

2c3ea55af8ee77920b47b2745ffff34f

They’re actually cake balls or donut holes. Includes holly boughs as decoration.

6. Bet you’ve never seen a fruit tree like this before.

2d303624d120ee3c15c33feec853983d

This is a fruit platter decorated as a Christmas tree. Includes apple slices, grapes, strawberries, raspberries, and blueberries.

7. These pretzel reindeer seem rather thin.

2e0c033e2f960b9226765fefe42ec391

Well, these are made out of pretzel sticks of varying thickness. Not sure what the red nose is made out of though.

8. Grace your holiday dessert platter with these Christmas tree peanut butter blossoms.

2eb706670c28ebb735fd557eae7343e9

These mostly consists of peanut butter blossoms decorated like Christmas trees. Includes green icing and sprinkles.

9. These Santa star cookies certainly shine during this holiday season.

3a2c23826ea65603bc33c4a56c484aaa

Well, they’re just star cookies decorated with Santa faces. Great for any holiday party during the season.

10. A snack platter should always have a Christmas tree cheese ball.

3e88414c0f7feb7a81d84d9401138687

Though it’s all covered in olives with a yellow pepper star. Will certainly shine at any office Christmas party.

11. These melting snowman meringues will melt your heart.

4b946634cfd2441b31222fdb3057346b

These meringues have snowmen melting to their detriment. Features are made from icing.

12. Christmas tree cupcakes will always make your season bright.

4de55b1d1a20b4ecb94a2f3d8cab9166

Though the snow is covered with coconut which I don’t like. But I love the pretzel trees.

13. Hope you have an appetite for these chocolate penguin truffles.

06a988ae68813765725baec29e9f3ef2

Indeed they have raisins but I usually go on looks when I do these food posts. Still, they may not be from the North Pole, but they’re adorable.

14. Please your guests with a slice of peppermint cheesecake.

6b6328ea36fbfb3e70edc1d4c6633915

Well, it’s more of a peppermint pudding cake. Since peppermint is a major flavor during the holidays.

15. Perhaps you might enjoy a bun from a tree.

6f61e8e555227288ed9a74e3ff2174d5

These buns contain cheese and garlic you can pull apart. Brought to you by Betty Crocker.

16. Two gingerbread men can really get tangled in lights.

7ca6ae4ea99878b33c28892b08544d9d

The lights consist of icing and candy. And yes, you can put 2 smiling gingerbread men entangled in them. So cute.

17. Snowman Oreos always make for a tasty treat.

8aede19fe68cd4e2b40db4f0a74d7fa1

The Oreos are dipped in white icing. Eyes and smile are made from chocolate chips. While the carrot nose is candy corn.

18. Take a bite out of these wreath cookies.

8ba462157fb4da6ef6c6eff8ea8c0b00

Each of these has a feathered wreath of icing. Like the bows, too.

19. Would you like some holly and berry cookies?

8de317ec3ee814122c292ea88f5a6d96

Both are covered with red and green icing. While the real life counterparts are nothing to touch and taste at.

20. A holiday cake should always contain tasty treats.

8f67b59ac602b95cadc6a1af810e6931

This one includes tree cookies, gingerbread men, and candy canes. And all on a layer of dripping chocolate icing.

21. You’ll find plenty of snowflakes inside this snowman cookie.

9a55827c43b8336c3f7fb05ccc4d7c7d

Though the snowflakes are made out of sprinkles. Perfect for any dessert platter.

22. You can make a wreath out of holly cookies.

9c281ca5370ad38c84d72976f289504d

Each leaf is white and green with plenty of patterns. And it’s all topped with a bow.

23. Impress your guests with this fruity Christmas tree.

12b07b821da8d8a3862f777314e6c1a0

It’s made mostly of grapes and berries. While kiwi, cantaloupe, and orange slices consist of the decorations.

24. What’s not to love about these reindeer Rice Krispie treats?

14a3478f61fbcc89decda8d6da377947

Each of these are dipped in chocolate with pretzel antlers, a red gum drop nose, and M&M eyes. So cute.

25. Nothing makes Christmas like a candy cane cupcake.

27a583a6b371485ac551bbedbff31f4f

These are chocolate cupcakes with candy cane icing and some peppermint on top. Wouldn’t mind eating them though.

26. No table is complete without a fruit wreath.

31d0a317d0ac753ca31f26ac7de45c69

Consists of grapes, raspberries, and orange slices. Great for any holiday party.

27. Care to take a piece of this wreath?

37e1f4823a06a457edae786231c58804

Mostly comprises of green bean pods and cherry tomatoes. Not sure what those white tuffs are.

28. Marshmallow snowmen will always warm your winter days.

49e5e4193c94cb8ba8f0d86b63d2a4b0

They’re on sticks and hold Christmas trees. So adorable you’d want to eat them up.

29. These cucumber Christmas trees are an ideal holiday appetizer.

052b78827299e859b37f342742957ecd

Each of these are held together by toothpicks. Includes a cherry tomato base and a carrot star.

30. You can decorate an ornament cupcake in however way you want.

57bc3392092a4686b3c4ca1a2e4c17dc

Each of these baubles are in green, blue, and red. While they’re decked in unique designs.

31. Nothing warms people like these snowman cake pops.

66bd9fa5fa31b316782633533e9d47c3

Each of these has hat made from a Reese’s cup and a Hershey’s Kiss. While each hat has a different color flower on it.

32. These fudge trees will always brighten your winter nights.

73fc6886702b67a899121759f40c32a9

Consist of evergreen trees on toothpicks in various shapes, sizes, and shades. While each can fit into a bowl of sugar.

33. Be in the spirit of the season with this Christmas cookie platter.

78f618218ba6f05a1a0a135c651ff98e

Each of these have an assortment of winter icons in the holiday spirit. Love the penguins the best.

34. Perhaps you might want a pie with lights.

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA

Actually it’s an apple pie decorated with Christmas lights. They may not be in color but they sure shine bright.

35. Christmas cookies should always come with a box.

199aea7a8f8281c32ca9f98bc6adf37e

These are gingerbread cookies inside a gingerbread box. And most consists of snowflakes in white and light green.

36. Serve your guests this holiday season with reindeer Sloppy Joes.

485c008f9ea5a509462710faf522f5c0

You’d think these were all part of Santa’s sleigh team. Each has pretzel antlers and an olive nose. Save for Rudolph who has a cherry tomato one.

37. Care for a reindeer treat on a stick?

1462b3dc3b761d7aa2135d55312c69e0

Each of these is made from a chocolate cake with pretzel antlers along with a candy nose and icing eyes. One even has a holly sprinkle decoration.

38. This gingerbread village cake is pure winter wonderland.

1011f87199831c341fc3fffcb77b1731

These are covered in pastel icing like a retro Christmas village. Love the snowflakes and trees.

39. You’ll always ring for joy with these jingle bell cake pops.

5248db233f512a7b6d621b55bd163c92

Each of these is covered with silver icing. But they don’t ring.

40. Bring the holiday spirit with this snowman veggie platter.

40146c87b2ce9ecfcf9ec2274a899264

This one has a snowman cheeseball. Though it has a cauliflower head and bottom.

41. Make your holiday party festive with this ugly sweater cake.

61181d090a237879fdf7af386029cc09

This is a different design than the one I showed in a previous year. Yet, you have to love the lights on the collar.

42. Perhaps you’d want this graham cracker fireplace as an ideal winter snack.

80024e493df233735d1d0405aeb6cb92

Consists of 3 fruit-roll up stockings and a cookie hearth. The top mantle consists of holly sprinkles.

43. Grace your Christmas platter with this fruity wreath.

0092986f423dbe11cf21f6ca2c6d684b

Consists of grapes, strawberries, blueberries, and blackberries. Makes a perfect edible arrangement for the season.

44. Celebrate the season with a pesto stuff Christmas tree.

97962bcfd40b1790a47d362069a57fcc

I don’t think the star is fake. Yet, you have to like the cream cheese and cherry tomato ornaments.

45. Perhaps a Rice Krispie gingerbread house will suit you.

359403aed09e937883f1c23f9f28084e

Well, it’s made from chocolate Rice Krispies. Like the icing on the roof. So pretty.

46. Cream cheese Christmas trees are a quintessential yuletide snack.

57301249dac2e309553143eedc4f8bb9

Wonder how big the crackers are. Yet, each tree consists of a pepper star, green herbs, and bacon.

47. Nobody could resist this Ho Ho reindeer.

61442019218d77bcae9faebaedbd5070

Includes a red candy nose, pretzel legs, a Reese’s head, and candy cane antlers. And yes, it’s so cute.

48. Bet you wouldn’t guess what’s in these cookie presents.

a11b0c84f3594b3cb7d3aab17d12e7a8

You’ll find sprinkles and M&Ms inside. While each present is topped with a red bow.

49. A marshmallow snowman belongs on a sled.

a92b3c36554042f616c31026a4324c64

Well, a candy cane sled anyway. Yet, you have to love its pretzel arms. So cute.

50. Care for a reindeer candy cane?

a617326f77f384e743ed6676f9faac04

Rather, they’re candy cane cookies dipped in chocolate resembling reindeer. Love the pretzel antlers though.

51. If you like the country, this gingerbread birdhouse will do.

dc55d569a27f39ef5f2b65cb6c415e23

Includes a bird and a more natural wreath. Love that blue roof by the way.

52. Snowman lollipops make a tasty winter treat.

b6adbd1f0f475cf1d5c0ab29801709b6

Well, I don’t know how to make candy. Though you have to love the snowman and snowflake sprinkles.

53. Wake up this Christmas morning to some Santa Claus pancakes.

b50465df0519cc64ee2bef908d502d0d

Unlike some other pancake Santas I showed in the past, his beard is made from banana slices. While his hat consists of raspberries.

54. Celebrate the holiday spirit with this chocolate Christmas tree.

ba4752ed24fbfe38a7ada814b52179ae

Even has chocolate presents under it. Wouldn’t mind eating this as long as it doesn’t contain any cherries or coconut.

55. You’ll have a lot of joy in this veggie platter.

bb043e3c6ac72cb99800eec24c29bb15

This one mostly consists of a wreath. And yes, the letters spell out “JOY.”

56. Hope you can munch on some Christmas tree bark.

c78877b1861fba24d1b4ff4b15cb62e4

Well, it’s not Christmas tree bark you’re thinking about. Also contains candy cane pieces.

57. It’s possible you might prefer these present sandwiches.

d48e08378f265a1aeecae154e2797f89

Most of these are ham and cheese sandwiches on white bread. But you can make them however you want.

58. A brownie Christmas tree will always warm your cold winter nights.

d128a9a4a31ef50f1a24378d549b9543

Each of these has circular tiers and minty green icing. They’re also decorated with sprinkles for good measure.

59. Treat yourself this holiday season to some snowman cookie sticks.

d885db1a59fe57276d46eda4af4ce9e2

Though each of them has more than 3 snowballs on the body. Nevertheless, great to have with coffee.

60. Nothing makes the holiday season like a mouse Santa on his sleigh.

dbeb616bab1657c6c4e94fe54a3804c7

Not sure why they have a candy mouse here. But you have to love its little Santa hat and suit. So cute.

61. Perhaps you might like a small cup of cocoa.

dc735353432e762da1b400c078005f3a

These are mostly cookies with chocolate fudge and mini marshmallows. Also have pretzel handles.

62. For a Christmas lunch, serving tree sandwiches will do quite nicely.

dda33a2232f34d870829c2f009d9c4ef

These often have red spots for ornaments. While inside, they’re filled with peanut butter and jelly.

63. Holly makes a nice touch to any cake.

e871815128e1862319aed693eea27c5d

Though the cake is covered in coconut. Yet, real or fake, don’t eat the berries or leaves.

64. You’ll go “ho, ho, ho” over this Santa Claus cheese ball.

ec9fb76d75fa912112695667961bdaa2

Mostly consists of red peppers for the suit and hat. And I think cream cheese consists of most of the beard.

65. Feel free to eat from this Christmas tree snack platter.

ed77fbf4f89edd6525f6c4ed6d88a918

Most of this consists of bread, crackers, and dry meat. Love the cream cheese star on top.

66. Help yourself to some postage cookies.

ed9587c4d1385605aaad7fb367b2db06

All of them seem directed to the North Pole for Santa. But don’t put them on your letter.

67. Perhaps you might want some gift tags.

ef76859325fab049e98c081561f9a01a

These are gift tag candies with holly on it. And best of all, you don’t have to write anything on them.

68. Anyone would like to have these reindeer pretzel snacks.

f1b4a6ce31ae24903d05fd4cf844c964

Though none seem to be Rudolph since their noses are black. Nonetheless, they’re dipped in chocolate with pretzel antlers.

69. Oreo angels are nothing less than heavenly.

f7d1b3aeb7a9f8033435882cee715714

Both sport rings and a halo. And yet, they seem to sing.

70. On Christmas Eve, it only seems appropriate to leave these cookies for Santa.

f6938a0d8f042544c3125c55b3fd8b1f

These are Christmas pajama bottom cookies. And they’re all in different kinds of styles.

71. If you live in the desert, you might like this Christmas cactus cake.

fa5490baf0b3f8b2a619743181f27eca

This one has lights and a star. You can even serve it in a pot like this one.

72. For healthier options, may I suggest these fruit Santas?

holiday-treats-145-1

These mostly consist of strawberries, Rice Krispies, whipped cream, chocolate chips, and marshmallows. Great for any dessert platter.

73. Impress your holiday visitors with a Christmas tree veggie tray.

img_3990

The tree mostly consists of broccoli and celery with yellow pepper and cherry tomato ornaments. Even has a star-shaped dip tray with a yellow pepper star.

74. Nothing makes your dessert platter like a marshmallow snowman cookie.

Marshmallow-Snowman-Treats-Recipe

Helps that the cookies are chocolate chip. Love the hats, too.

75. You’ll have peace on earth with this Christmas angel cake.

fmoj0kw0xo6loyhtdrwv

The angel even has a garland with bells in the night sky. Sure it’s professionally made. But I think it’s cool.

76. Wake up this Christmas morning to some Christmas tree cinnamon rolls.

f999bfc9a89f5ca6df97ab79a8f9178b

These are covered by a green drizzle with candy decorations. Hope you get one while they’re hot.

77. A Santa cake will always set the season right.

ec205f9af86286d2fdfe9977060d2c56

This one consists of cupcakes you can pull apart. Though this Santa doesn’t seem happy about it.

78. Throwing an ugly sweater party? Try these pizzas.

Throw-an-Ugly-Sweater-Pizza-Party-this-Christmas-using-FlatOuts-artisan-pizza-crusts-and-a-sweater-cookie-cutter

You can put any toppings you’d like on for extra garishness. Except pineapple because that’s a cardinal sin as far as pizza toppings go.

79. Want to open this Christmas present cake?

69d9dac2d41fbdebb077227241768a2d

This one has a red ribbon and bow along with holly decorations. Hope it’s chocolate inside.

80. Make your Christmas party memorable with this Christmas tree cake.

900_727882TABD_christmas-tree-cake

This one includes presents and a train track at the bottom. Nonetheless, this giant cake is simply spectacular. Love it.

NSFW Elf on the Shelf (a. k. a. the Post I Ruin a Stupid Christmas Tradition) (Fifth Edition)

the-elf-on-the-shelf-ideas

Over the years, I have done posts showing parents the multiple ways Elves on the Shelves have been quite naughty behind closed doors. Indeed, every year during the Christmas season, Santa sends these red-clad spies to look into whether children are good enough to receive presents. Yet, this doesn’t mean the elves will be good themselves when nobody’s looking. I’ve often seen looking for incidents of elves behaving badly on the internet. And let’s just say a lot of these images aren’t suitable for an innocent child’s eyes. Nonetheless, parents have the responsibility on keeping an eye on the household Elf on the Shelf and report any shenanigans to Santa at 1-800-BAD-ELF1. In the meantime, feel free to look at another assortment of Elves on the Shelves behaving very naughty. By the way, many of these images are unsafe for work and aren’t for kids, naturally.

  1. Dinkler has a confession to make.
@EvilJoySpeaks-on-@ElfShaming-ElfOnTheShelf-BadElf

Man, that elf is quite devious. Wonder if he was planning to sell these drugs. Then that makes me ponder what Santa’s paying these guys.

2. Grinley is all dressed in black.

0f8d52f83e9111e2b23022000a1f9ad5_6

Is he planning to rob something? Or is he dressed up as a ninja? Don’t have a great feeling about either scenario.

3. What the hell is Oliver doing with that contraption?

01-elf-vibe

Well, I’m not sure what that thing is. But Oliver seems to use it as a vibrator, apparently. So it’s kind of disturbing.

4. Cringle had to come back for Walking Dead night.

2bccf47ff53d9a58622744611aafa8c7

Here he is among the undead. Makes me wonder how he can last before a zombie bites him.

5. “Hello, Clarice.”

2ee4f986df0c05d8daf210225df97b53

Seriously, you don’t want to go near Quincy. For he has a ravenous appetite for human flesh.

6. Twinkie likes to do target practice in his spare time.

3f3100ef2e41214ef2d5615cd2981d70--hunting-birds

Are those dead birds? Looks like it. So how did they get inside in the first place?

7. Rump promises to make Christmas great again.

10b8d46797d1e0126ac384ae2e9dbd35

Though he may not be as scary as Donald Trump, he’s certainly terrifying with his spray tan and horrendous toupee. If your kid has him for their Elf on the Shelf, they’re totally screwed.

8. Rumpy wants to build a wall at the US-Mexico border.

014d08e649e6c076771c4a33a368580c

Sorry, but that wall won’t keep undocumented immigrants out of the US anymore than a life-sized version at the border which would be a massive waste of money.

9. What’s bursting from Elliot’s chest?

87d

Oh, God, that’s a xenomorph! Get out of the house and get Ellen Ripley on Line 1.

10. Norman likes to doodle in his spare time.

DRU8rapWkAE7HWR.jpg

Is that what I think it is? And I thought graffiti was bad.

11. Got something to say, Rennie?

79755fe54bea35888bed416fef94f78b

Is he dressed up as Buffalo Bill from Silence of the Lambs? Indeed, he must be a very sick bastard.

12. Danny wants you to know that Winter is coming.

c60c39b9ea31010ea29b70dd207210c1--winter-is-coming-game-of

This is straight from Game of Thrones. And the marshmallow snow figures don’t seem happy about it.

13. Jingler has Woody all tied up at the moment.

204763_4977589845425_769678343_o

And I don’t think this constitutes in kinky stuff. Yet, Woody doesn’t seem to mind, disturbingly.

14. Calvin and the dolls are in for a wild ride.

236137cbc2376940665f9a01ddae0341

Are they all in the dryer? This won’t turn out well.

15. Snowball has really gone downhill lately.

432185_219648631503442_1015463156_n

He seems passed out on booze and pills. Guess someone’s going to rehab after the holiday season. If the North Pole features a rehab center.

16. Plinko always likes to browse the web.

1171861_669981146375459_1267214911_n

Hey, at least he’s not looking at porn. Rather, he seems turned on by gorgeous women in sexy Christmas costumes.

17. Wendell and his doll don’t care about the rules.

1172151_751094358252491_1562224285_n

The sign says: No Horseplay in Hot Tub. Yet, they don’t seem to listen. Though the tub is a glass bowl with marshmallows inside.

18. Tinker is the only player with his clothes on in this strip poker game.

4781723D00000578-5202957-image-a-48_1513875047303

Then again, his clothes are basically sewn onto him. That can’t be said for these dolls.

19. Perry has a knack with a sharpie.

11369864465_1c55f6a77e_o

Here he’s put mustaches on the whole family. I know he’s not respecting his welcome to the Hendersons’ home.

20. At least Petey tries to play it safe.

4781721100000578-5202957-image-a-46_1513875037904

Yet, that doesn’t excuse him from doing a 3 way with a couple of Barbies in a stocking. Also, what are those nooky pills?

21. “Take that, Ken Doll!”

a9ebc4bce313ef070957b9faaaaf1af1

Man, Winkle’s really going to town with him. Hope he doesn’t hurt any onlooking Smurfs.

22. Clinker has a profound confession to make.

a50ed6091431958718faea10a15c43b2--naughty-elf-elf-on-shelf

So kids can’t touch him due to a court order. If that’s the case, he shouldn’t be an elf on the shelf, period.

23. Daenys is the Mother of Reindeer.

a10150dbd7d99d7a0289256538476a22

This is a takeoff on Game of Thrones. She’s supposed to be Daenyrs Targaryen who keeps dragons. Yet, the antlers seem to blaze fire for some reason.

24. Tina wants to try on a new face.

1389981_553593671394758_1737249376_n

Yet, that face seems to come from a Mr. Potatohead Santa. And the spud is certainly not pleased.

25. “Congratulations, it’s a reindeer.”

AreYouMyDaddyElf

Look, I have no idea how this is possible. So don’t ask me to explain. Seriously, this is really fucked up.

26. Chinker wants to show that Elf Lives Matter.

b42b637335184d8288a16482338bf0df--elf

Yet, I don’t know whether this policeman is convinced. Though in his defense, the elf is pretty creepy.

27. “This house isn’t big enough for both of us elves.”

b85

So Rinko has to put Gregor Elf into a candy dish. Man, that’s so cold with the “It’s easier if you don’t struggle.”

28. Crumpet has a lot of explaining to do.

bad-naughty-elf

Apparently, he’s confessing to running a young girl’s innocence with Princess Jasmine. Guess he doesn’t know the meaning of discretion.

29. Belle’s been distraught over the Beast and Dinkie.

belle_beast

I know it’s so wrong on so many levels. And unlike Belle, I can’t bring myself to look away.

30. Apparently, Brumpet has a bit of a drinking problem.

Boozy-Elf

Perhaps he might want to lay off the wine. I know that spying for Santa is quite a stressful job as it is.

31. Beware of Wembley when he’s in one of his moods.

CVmE1MbW4AEWSMT

This is a takeoff on the Saw series which I’m not very familiar with. Yet, you don’t want to see an Elf on the Shelf wielding a bloody ax.

32. Jack Sparrow Elf can’t resist his Southern Comfort.

dec12elf

Though you’d think he’d be more of a fan of Bacardi or Captain Morgan. Still, the Jack Sparrow get up is spot on.

33. Freddy wants to try his talent in the kitchen.

DSC_0288-1-1

Yet, he seems to enjoy hanging around hte knives for some reason. And no, the sharp end shouldn’t stick out like that.

34. Starky wants everyone to know that Christmas is coming.

e0e313dc669ff3296291bef8c3f52144

Indeed, another parody of Game of Thrones. Like how the iron throne is made out of cutlery.

35. Seems like these 4 elves really let themselves go.

elf

This is a spoof on Duck Dynasty. And yes, it’s kind of strange to see these elves in long beards.

36. Grigsby doesn’t mind losing his head over anything.

elf_shelf

Yet, he seemed to spill blood upon decapitation. Still, the smile remains.

37. Roddy loves enjoying company now and then.

elfdrinking

Here he is wearing chains with 2 Barbies and a bottle of Smirnoff. Elf thinks he’s gangster doesn’t he?

38. Apparently, Elmer doesn’t have good taste in TV.

elf-watches-the-housewives

Well, maybe he’s homesick for the North Pole. Still, there must be better things to watch than The Real Housewives.

39. “Say your prayers, Blinko!”

ElfWinner

Apparently, these figures had put up with his shit way too long. But could you hardly blame them?

40. Frankie loves the gangster life.

enhanced-buzz-4228-1417555388-8

Wonder what the hell he’s doing with the British Queen. Still, those who live the gangster life usually go down to a violent end.

41. Trinkler just wants to tinker with the baby’s car seat.

enhanced-buzz-26892-1417572654-18

However, I wouldn’t want to put him in the same car as the baby. Since he seems bent on sabotage.

42. What’s Elver and the Abominable Snowman doing in the toilet?

f6873d81-44c2-464d-a515-f94726afeb1e

Yet, the yeti spreads Elver’s leg over the bowl for some reason. And I really don’t want to know why.

43. Don’t worry about Axel. He won’t harm anyone anymore.

FXO3VHi

Seems like he killed an alien, Ham, and a couple Ninja Turtles. Thank God Dexter took care of him when he did.

44. Nicky wants you to put your furs on since winter is coming.

game-of-thrones-elf-on-the-shelf

Indeed, this is another takeoff on Game of Thrones. Though the fur doesn’t seem like anything you’d find in Westeros.

45. “Decorate your Christmas tree with this!”

Grinch-Elf-630x472

Here Quinkles smashes a bauble like it can’t be easily replaced. But it can since you can find them at almost any store this time of year.

46. Flicker appears like he’s out for blood.

hqdefaultQ0B6GH8A

Seeing he’s got fangs, you’d take him for some elf vampire. If he’s in your house, keep him away from your kids.

47. Dingle has been sentenced to death by firing squad.

IMG_0211

Here he’s bound and blinded with plastic wrap. As plastic army men are commissioned to do the grisly deed.

48. Somehow Stevie got into some dirty laundry.

IMG_0555

Seems like he’s sniggering over what he’s seen among hte clothes. If you want to kill him with fire, be my guest.

49. Looks like Marvin’s ingratiating himself well among the toys.

IMG_1722

Yet, they seem to play cards with bottles of booze beside them. I’m sure they’re gambling as well.

50. Flinker is desperate for fast cash these days.

money

So he’s resorting to raiding Travis’ dino bank. You’d think an elf wouldn’t sink so low to steal money from a child.

51. Gary should know better than get between 2 witches.

elf-on-the-shelf-wicked-1024x629

Because a love triangle involving witches won’t end well. Gary should be lucky he’s not turned into a toad by this point.

52. Gringy has a penchant for some crazy pranks that go too far.

naughty-elf-shelf-20-630x840

He’s written “Redrum” on the mirror with lipstick. Cue the family freak out a few minutes later.

53. Ringer wants these tampons to smell better.

Noels-Tampax-Peppermint

Yet, putting candy canes into tampons doesn’t help. Seriously, it’s a very terrible idea for so many reasons.

54. Lexo is always fond of animals.

orgyelf

Is he humping that dog? And what are the plushies doing in front of the elf? Okay, I really don’t want to know.

55. “Draw me like one of your French girls.”

ph2i8pnxj42qbwe

This is straight from Titanic as you can see. But Alvie relishes in drawing nudes.

56. Dare to come under the sidewalk.

phozah9m042qbwe

This is from IT by the way. Yet, seeing Rinty and the creepy kid, I’ll take my chances with Pennywise.

57. Pinny is watching you.

phvexh3ls02qbwe

This is an Elf on the Shelf as Pennywise the Clown. And yes, he’s quite terrifying to incite nightmares.

58. Tinkle always likes to try new things.

Screen-Shot-2013-12-22-at-7.39.44-AM

So it’s supposed to be like they’re lighting his farts. Let’s hope he doesn’t eat anything from Taco Bell during the month of December.

59. Clickel knows how to make an entrance on his makeshift sleigh.

slide_388476_4683778_compressed

This mostly consists of a Coors Light box and beer bottle reindeer. So it’s not a wholesome Christmas image meant for a postcard.

60. Chris can’t go back to the North Pole without a souvenir.

slide_388476_4683822_compressed

Here he seems to get Mrs. Malmsey’s bra. What a dirty elf to come into her house.

61. Jimmy wants to know what’s under the caroler’s skirt.

slide_388476_4698914_compressed

The caroler even carries an expression of shock. Apparently, this elf has his mind in the gutter when it comes to dolls.

62. Denny knows how to communicate with those trapped in the Upside Down.

stranger-things-by-june-bug-photography-mill-creek-newborn-photography(pp_w768_h512)

This is a takeoff from Stranger Things. Remember when Will’s mom came up with this display to communicate with him?

63. Yulie has been left to the dinosaurs.

tied up

He’s tied up to make a meal out of the dinosaurs. Hope he enjoys this small toy version of Jurassic Park.

64. Tony always needs to get his hit now and then.

TonyMontanaElf

In true Scarface fashion, here he is about to sniff some coke while he’s holding a weapon. Don’t mention the mustache and gold chain.

65. I wouldn’t go near Lexie if I were you, Blinkerbells.

untitled

She’s been somewhat pale lately. Like she’s an undead zombie who’d infect you with her bite.

66. Tiller prefers to do what he likes on his ride.

DSC_1839-600x366

Apparently, he’d rather make love to a Barbie against a green screen. Not the safest thing to do on the road.

67. You can’t put Elmie down the drain.

ac73669fab36f192c9380fc0ffd88f50

Sure you might have blood everywhere in your kitchen sink. But the elf will always rise again. Terrifying.

68. Santa knows when you’re sleeping. Vinnie knows when you’ll never wake up.

elf-4

Because if he could get away with it, he’ll try to kill you in your sleep. Sweet dreams.

69. Finley hasn’t been himself lately.

b5de9dd48153fe83207d031fcad849c2--dead-zombie-the-walking-dead

Yeah, he’s kind of been eating the dolls as you can see. Also, he’s been a zombie for awhile. So it’s best to kill him with fire.

70. “Ready, aim, fire.”

34-1

Lingle doesn’t like other elves in his premises. So he uses them as target practice. I know he needs to be put away somewhere. But I don’t know the jail situation in the North Pole.

71. Twinkletoes knows what’s pleasing to his eyes.

elf-shelf-robinwood_0271

Here we got him admiring Barbie’s tramp stamp under the Christmas tree. Indeed, he’s quite naughty, isn’t he?

72. Dinkledums wants to show the kids something.

evilelf1

Uh, I don’t think the kids want to see a dead body. Seriously, they don’t want to do that during the holidays.

73. Turns out Teddy bit off more than he can chew.

04b177ee8e72081c8399261ab04e28dc--happy-elf-on-the-shelf

Now he’s floating in the toilet. It’s going to be a very icky job getting him out of there.

74. “Say goodbye, baby doll.”

baby

I’m sure Hinkle will add some fava beans to the baby stew. God, he’s a very sick elf, indeed. Kill him. Kill him with fire.

75. Dinny just wants you to leave the scissors on the table.

6d2ea6ee76bdabe54c95e9ebd753dace--shelf-elf-elf-on-the-shelf

Yet, he likes to watch you sleeping. So it’s best if you don’t trust him with sharp objects.

76. Look at what the Grinch has in his jar.

grinch-elf-on-a-shelf

Seems like he’s going to keep Yinkler in this mason jar for quite some time. And I wouldn’t blame the Grinch doing so.

77. Dinko won’t be deterred by the Grinch.

index.jpeg

Here he is tying the Grinch up and standing on it like he’s his trophy. My condolences to the Grinch.

78. Sly and Sleigh Bell always know how to have fun.

funny-elf-on-the-shelf-3

Wait, they’re lighting each other’s farts. Seriously, this is a dangerous activity, especially during the holiday season.

79. Don’t look behind the shower curtain.

03bdb82bcb7ca45929328842e0b659b8

Because Slinker is inside wielding a knife. Kill him with fire, please.

80. “Any last words, Elmo?”

606985092488792f85e515ab83c5eeb9--dark-halloween

Apparently, Elmo doesn’t seem to have much to say. Though you can see him screaming as Buddy points a big ass knife at him.

Ho, Ho, Ho, Holy Shit Vintage Christmas Advertising of Yesterday (Fifth Edition)

https___mashable.com_wp-content_gallery_18-vintage-christmas-advertisements_VC14

Now that Thanksgiving has come and gone, I am now free to get into my Christmas posts. And fortunately for the Trump folks, I’ll most likely be busy with these for most of December. Anyway, the day after Thanksgiving is Black Friday, or a day when I try to avoid the stores unless I have to work at one. Sure most of them probably don’t have people rushing inside to buy shit. Yet, you’ll always hear about one Black Friday brawl over a hot item on the news. Nonetheless, retail giants are known to advertise heavily in the days leading up to this iconic shopping day. Seriously, your Thanksgiving newspaper bundle probably comes with countless ads and catalogs on the latest deals. And yes, you’ll find plenty of Christmas ads from back in the day. Some might age well like this Goodyear ad above. But some not so much since they could be quite unintentionally funny, offensive, or creepy. So for your reading pleasure, I give you another yearly assortment of crazy vintage Christmas ads. Enjoy.

  1. There will always be a Christmas, even in the future.
1_QYQI_M3img6dL3UlhqYnUg

And in the future, it seems they’ll always use Rolex. Except that digital technology and smart phones haven’t been good for the watch market these days.

2. There’s no better gift for Christmas than Playboy.

3c87d5f997351c0980dff105c7f5fbad--christmas-ad-vintage-christmas

I’m sure your man will always read it for the articles. Though I would suggest you’re better off giving him a tie. Also, I don’t think this woman’s wearing a bra.

3. This Christmas, give her a Hoover.

4c0971e228276499fd58b225b73aff6b

Sorry, but if a man gave me a vacuum for Christmas, I would not be happy. Seriously, I hat these things.

4. It’s always a holiday party with 7 Up.

7up1

Apparently, Jack’s trying to score with Susie at the dinner table. While Eric gets a bottle from behind.

5. Budweiser is always the beer for the holiday season.

98c7763996e3095f743b113c6fe882d9

You might think she’s happy and engaging in the holiday cheer. But she’s only putting on a smile to hide her dismay over Roger’s gift. And she’s not exactly in the mood for booze at the moment.

6. Santa likes to dance with his reindeer at the North Pole Christmas party.

326ecd43b0a514340ac91a993754ae9e--christmas-lights-christmas-past

Yet, I don’t think Santa has any good intentions for dancing with Dancer. For he’s eyeing the reindeer like a piece of sweet meat.

7. Timmy really seems to like his new train.

813a0936e0a74df7cce179b61700da48--christmas-ad-christmas-train

The boy’s like, “Wow, just what I need for my death machine I intend to use for torturing the neighbor’s cat. Thanks, Mom and Dad.”

8. This Christmas, give your loved ones a box of interwoven socks.

1922_12_09-1061-400x530

To be fair, Socks are essential for everyday living. Yet, I get the impression that Santa’s giving Bobby socks just to spite him for being a brat.

9. Kupperheimer always makes good clothes for the season.

1923_12_01-+C2_SP1-400x521

Still, while Hank was eager to do the Christmas shopping, he didn’t like using bags. But, check out his coat.

10. Thanks to Greyhound, Daddy will be home for Christmas.

34890335eb8a43c4a229e7e637d0c479

Unbeknownst to Mommy and little Johnny, Daddy would never be the same after Korea. Often he’d drink and fly into rages with no apparent reason.

11. With gifts, it’s always the thought behind it that counts.

1940-fisher-body1-400x513

Nonetheless, little Maisie knows that whatever present she gives to her family, nobody will be impressed than the new car Dad bought for the family. But she knows he got it for himself to enhance his ego.

12. Decorate your house with brightly-colored GE Christmas lights.

1945-ge-xmas-lights1-400x516

Or else, Santa will come down your chimney and murder you in your sleep. Don’t think that he wouldn’t.

13. This Christmas, give her the gift of lightness with matching luggage.

1956-samsonite-p11-400x261

Though I’m sure she wouldn’t be able to take a whole set on a plane. Also, not very keen on the colors.

14. Seems like it’s the mom’s job to come up with the Christmas list.

1956-xmas-list-833x1024

Well, at least the girl is writing her own. But the boy just wants to play wit his new ray gun while the dad doesn’t really give a shit. But the mom knows she still has to get a gift for him.

15. Nothing makes a party memorable like 7UP.

0b64b2a77df28c536857e92de7a7f3ff

Wonder if they have anything else in their pop. Or whether whoever’s here will end up doing more than kissing under the mistletoe like the couple in the back.

16. Santa always enjoys a bottle of Coke from the fridge.

vcads_1

Seems like milk and cookies couldn’t satisfy Santa enough. So he had to raid the fridge. Despite that he has plenty of other places to visit that offer the exact same treats.

17. ETA always makes the best Christmas nuts.

1966-nuts-769x1024

From Flashbak: “This couple literally seems on the point of tears over the sight of their gift of Christmas nuts. Suffice it to say, this mom and dad are easy to buy for.”

18. Not it’s Santa’s turn to receive his Christmas gift.

06293a6dcd066ffc3fe7d3ba9f293b10

Though he doesn’t seem certain if this shirt would fit him. Or when he’ll use a tie. Then again, Santa may also have a day job for all we know.

19. “Kids, come on down. Grandma’s here.”

26461cc89231cbf30d17fb24654c1867

Though Bobby doesn’t seem very enthusiastic about seeing Grandma. Maybe because it’s snowy and he’s wearing shorts.

20. All this boy can think about is the new Plymouth.

28716f77ff4ebe5f0e43701f2aed7e4b

Yet, the boy has his head down as if he’s possessed by some demon. That or he may be thinking about the futility of human existence or the inevitability of death.

21. This Christmas stop the sag and end the fag with Allen A underwear.

486706_v2

Apparently, guys often hung out together without a care in the world back in the olden days. I’m sure they’re just friends. Even the toy soldiers like to check out these briefs.

22. Nothing makes a great gift for dad like his favorite cigars.

a295_a6

Apparently, show your love for dad this Christmas by giving him lung cancer if you don’t know what to buy for him. Seriously, that’s what you give your dad when you give him cigars.

23. Santa Claus digs Adidas cleats.

Adidas-Christmas-Ad

Since how does Santa wear a red jumpsuit? Because I don’t get the impression he regularly works out at the gym. Also, doesn’t seem like I’d want to see him there either.

24. Want to make sure you don’t get underwear this Christmas? Ask for Atari.

atari

Well, that’s one way. But I don’t think it’ll get past the parents. Seriously, video games are expensive.

25. This Christmas, Colgate gives the gift of dental hygiene.

b942f81298321b677539ae9d4ffe5a83--vintage-ads-pub

Apparently, Colgate products come from Santa’s disembodied hand in the night sky. Didn’t know he cared about oral health.

26. For this wartime Christmas, Santa chooses Chesterfields.

chesterfield_santa

Santa even has his own military outfit. But still, he promotes a product that kills 1/3 of the world’s population a year.

27. Crosman guns are the gift of the season.

Crosman-Christmas-Ad

For nothing says, “Peace on Earth” like a bunch of guns under your Christmas tree. For God’s sake, these are instruments of death and not appropriate for Christmas. Or any other occasion.

28. Take Santa’s advice and get a supply of Lundborg’s Perfumes.

d85ba7439842411573bb778d2ba1f7de

Apparently, Santa doesn’t think people around the turn of the century bathed as often as they should. Though given how many chimneys he goes through, he could use a shower.

29. “Look, Tommy, it’s Tinkerbell!”

da2292c009e587706bfbc8213e56c353

Seems like this girl’s kind of freaked out by Tinkerbell appearing in front of her eyes. Then again, we’d feel the same way if we were her.

30. Make sure you spice it up with your Christmas wrapping.

de7d5c6a2cb9d9af4726965b12a40f56

Though this boy thinks the presents are all his, And he’ll fight to the death to make sure no one else gets them.

31. “Now what would you like for Christmas, Ralphie?”

de92baba4281c01e22eb455cefee663f

“I’d like a train set, a Rough Rider BB gun, a chemistry set, a box of knives, and rat poison. Also, I want Cindy’s head on a platter.”

32. An Underwood typewriter always captures the spirit of giving.

imagesJNWQX050

But don’t mess with the Weird Sisters. Or else they’ll curse the living daylights out of you in your nightmares.

33. Karo gives a sturdy body for your Santa Claus.

sDORq-1481645037-embed-xmasads_karo2

To be fair, it is a syrup. Yet, since it’s mostly made out of sugar, its health effects might range from obesity to Type II diabetes.

34. Santa wants you to smoke Chesterfields for far and near and in good cheer.

slide_323408_3098899_free

Apparently, demonic Santa Claus wants you to smoke and die of lung cancer. Or else he’ll break into your house and kill your family.

35. Let Christmas last a lifetime with a Remington 22.

sunday-gunday-7-vintage-christmas-gun-ads-that-will-take-you-back

Great, get your boy a gun for Christmas. He’ll never forget it. Let’s hope he doesn’t accidentally shoot someone in the eye.

36. Nothing beats a long day at the slopes like a Budweiser.

ukoln4itrr8t6dcmbpln

“Hey, Christie, join us for a beer at the fire. And once we get drunk enough, we could have a three-way.”

37. Want to keep her young and pretty? Give her a Star vibrator.

vibratorlarge

I know it’s supposed to be a massager. But the word “vibrator” has come to mean “sex toy” in recent years.

38. A Parker Pen is a friend for life.

Vintage Christmas Advertisements from the 1940s (5)

Yet, why would you take a pen form a disembodied Santa hand? Besides, a pen is a gift you give someone for secret Santa or because you don’t know what to get them.

39. Make this merry trifle with Bird’s custard.

Vintage Christmas Advertisements from the 1940s (10)

Looks like a cream cheese snowman sinking in a bowl of cheese and cherries. Kind of disgusting.

40. Didn’t know trains could spring from Santa’s sack.

Vintage Christmas Advertisements from the 1940s (37)

Well, this is for New York Central. But it makes Santa seem like a big train enthusiast or a god who can fit massive trains in his bag.

41. For Christmas, polar bears choose Calvert.

vintage-christmas-advert-18

Didn’t know that polar bears liked boozing during the holidays. Hope they don’t run into anything with the sleigh.

42. Buy Kentucky Tavern Whiskey and you’ll get this snowman decoration.

x105

I hear it even talks to you and urges you to murder people. But only when you’re really wasted on this stuff.

43. Corby’s always makes a great gift for fathers and sons.

xmas-booze

Booze for Christmas? Still, let’s hope that alcoholism doesn’t run in this family. Though I wouldn’t be surprise if it does.

44. Take a break from Christmas shopping with a nice Coca Cola.

xmas-coke

From Flashbak: ” Supposedly, they stopped putting cocaine in Coca-Cola in 1903; however, this 1962 advert, proclaiming a special ‘zing’ down to your toes, makes me think it was a bit later.”

45. An RCA Victor is perfect for the whole family.

xmas-tv-heaven-702x1024

From Flashbak: “Everything’s so white….is this what Christmas looks like in Heaven?” Let’s hope not since I don’t want to imagine this family dying in a car crash before then.

46. Throw a great Christmas party with the Hallmark party books.

8a98108a2351cbd0057f8a3898cb9bc8

She’s like, “God, I hope this book doesn’t make me mess up. Since I don’t want this shindig to end up like last year.”

47. Pop brings you happiness from a bottle.

81fe2f5f49153552b1d5ddfa699141ee

Little girl’s like, “Drink all the happiness you can, Mom. Cause I’m going to kill you in your sleep and serve you for Christmas dinner.”

48. Santa thinks Interwoven socks make a great gift.

1945_12_08-1061-400x526

Santa also looks like he’s had a few too many. Maybe he should go home before his sleigh crashes into a house.

49. Planters Peanuts makes a great holiday party staple.

fb054261d021bf2945cb964a3fa3af02

The guy is looking at the woman eating nuts and thinking, “Man, she’s really making an ass out of herself.” While he’s carrying a tray of cocktails.

50. 7UP can always please the holiday crowd.

IiQkB-1481645102-embed-xmasads_7up

Something tells me these kids shouldn’t be drinking it. Since they’re in their pjs and their parents are hosting a party downstairs.

51. Wrapping presents doesn’t have to be a hassle on Christmas.

02

From Evolvor: “Nothing says getting ready for Christmas then wrapping presents for the kids. And by wrapping presents I mean, kicking back with some ice cold brews and making the ladies do it. I’m sure a few minutes after this snapshot someone’s ass got slapped. Good work girls.”

52. Double Bubble always makes the season right.

untitled

From Evolvor: “I’m not sure if the kids these days know what an excuse for “gum” Double Bubble is, but I’m damn sure kids were not getting TOO excited over getting a handful of this shit in their Christmas stocking. The stuff is barely passable on Halloween and is a total fail of a holiday candy. If little Johnny ends up with a lump of ‘Bubble it’s because he was either bad that year and we needed coal to heat the house or Santa (*ahem* Dad) got laid off and this is all he could afford.”

53. Drinking beer is always a tradition during the holidays.

D LK121454

From Evolvor: “There’s nothing wrong with this ad really, I just love the idea of my grandparents getting bent on the holidays. Again clearly the men get to dick-around, most likely talking shit about all the people who sent them Christmas cards. “Look at John’s stupid kids, what an asshat” the one guy is probably saying. Meanwhile the ladies are again doing what they do best.”

54. A Lincoln-Zephyr is the quality car for the holiday season.

06-lincoln

From Evolvor: “Many of you know how I strongly I feel about our obsession with cars (and how we use them to give us some sort of social status), and there’s nothing I hate more then seeing luxury auto ads during the holidays. Seriously who the hell gets a NEW CAR for Christmas? I dunno, maybe the day I strike it rich I’ll start buying people cars to make up for something really shitty I did to them in the past. Anywho, the not-so-wholesome past wasn’t any different, and here Santa is either dropping a brand new Lincoln off for some brat or is trading in the reindeer and sleigh for a V12.”

55. Schlitz gives you a light refreshment over the holidays.

vintage-christmas-ads-that-just-wouldnt-fly-nowadays-19-photos-15

Here she’s holding a small present. Wonder who it’s for and wonder what’s in it. Also, the guy seems to have a different “present” idea in mind. Cue the “Baby, It’s Cold Outside.”

56. Give Kentucky Club to all the men on your Christmas list.

D 53

After all, lung cancer is the gift that keeps on giving. Even during the holiday season, apparently.

57. “For me? You shouldn’t have.”

F1255

From Evolvor: “Another classic Christmas car ad. This one SCREAMS “sugar daddy”. Nothing says love during the holidays like keys to the car *ahem* I mean heart.”

58. Send Christmas wishes through airmail this holiday season.

vintage-christmas-ads-26

So Santa ditched his sleigh for a print plane. Hope the reindeer don’t go on strike when he returns to the North Pole.

59. For your holiday platter, banana quick bread makes a tasty treat.

Santa-Banana-620x881

Okay, that bread looks very disgusting. Yet, Santa munches on his banana nonetheless.

60. This Christmas, take a bottle from the J&B Scotch tree.

11534425034_d20cd3d3b6_b

The bottles even have candles. Best to stay away from it if you’re the designated driver.

61. This year, give your children a real Roy Rogers Christmas.

rr-christmas-ad-1957

And yes, this means Dad getting the saddle and giving horsey rides to the kids. I know it’s an undignified moment in fatherhood. But at least it’s cheaper than giving your kids a real pony.

62. Make this year a lucky Christmas.

Vintage Christmas Ads from 1940s - 1980s (26)

Well, you won’t be so lucky with Lucky Strike. Seriously, smoking will kill you. But he doesn’t care.

63. Make your Christmas party planning easy with this new Toastmaster hospitality set.

Vintage Christmas Advertisements from the 1940s (38)

Actually I don’t want to put any of these appetizers on toast. Seems like something you’d have on the Charlie Brown Thanksgiving Special.

64. Decking the halls is always a family tradition.

vintage_xmas_ads_06

Of course, Dad had to put the garlands around the archways. Hope he watches his hand or he’ll be causing a bad accident. Especially if Sally’s running with the star. Hardly seems like having peace of mind. Still, I can’t help thinking they’re in the midst of an accident waiting to happen.

65. With Camel, it’s Merry Christmas with every smoke.

Vintage-Ads-Santa2

Man, Santa seems to appear in a lot of cigarette ads. Despite that smoking kills and gives people lung cancer.

66. Santa Claus always enjoys one on the rocks once in awhile.

manner_poster_21

This is from Japan, I think. Still, the guy is a clear mall Santa since the beard looks obviously fake.

67. Kid can’t help but talk about the new Plymouth.

plymouth

Don’t look now, but I think the older sister has a devious look in her eyes. Like she has murder on the mind. Also, the dog’s jumping on her.

68. The Targeter is a sure-fire gift for the whole family.

12168b95478561231a5e25c1bfeba295

Since nothing makes Christmas family fun like endless target practice. Hope Mom doesn’t shoot anyone’s eye out. Or kill anyone.

69. With Avon, you’ll always make the spirits bright.

1966-avon-719x1024

Here’s an assortment of cosmetics in fine containers sold by a multi-level marketing firm. And I believe she’s lighting a candle or burning incense. Either way, don’t want to have an open flame near a tree.

70. Chesterfields always make the perfect Christmas gift.

9ca5983b8aa1def2eaf09fecb7dd2c37

This woman’s like, “That way when my sugar daddy dies of lung cancer at 53, I’ll get the whole estate. Mwha ha ha ha ha!”

The Donald J. Trump Foundation: A Self-Dealing Charity for One

crop-640x360-000

When it comes to rich people, there is a lot I have to criticize on how they perpetuate economic inequality through their vast sums of money and power while leaving the poorer masses with little leverage to assert themselves. But when it comes to their philanthropic foundations, I think that they at least put their own money in it and donate the money for a good charitable cause. Even if it’s just to name some sort of building after themselves. After all, many wealthy people usually contribute their money to the arts, college campuses, research facilities, libraries, and public works projects. Hell, though I think Elon Musk and Jeff Bezos treat their workers like shit, the fact they want to contribute some of their vast fortunes for going to Mars seems pretty cool.

However, despite that Donald Trump’s excessive vanity is the stuff of legend, such philanthropic endeavors don’t seem to be the case with the Donald J. Trump Foundation. Trump originally created this foundation in 1988 for his proceeds from his book Trump: The Art of the Deal to charitable causes. However, in since 2008, Trump had stopped contributing personal funds and instead solicited donations from outsiders. Though the foundation was based in New York City’s Trump Organization, with no paid staff or dedicated office space. Until its forced closure in 2017 due to an array of complaints in self-dealing, its board of directors consisted of Trump, his 3 adult children by Ivana, and Trump Organization CFO Allen Weisselberg (though he told investigators he wasn’t aware of being a board member “at least for the last 10 or 15 years.”) In 2015, a Trump Organization spokesperson told The New York Post that Trump made all the decisions regarding the Trump Foundation money grants. Despite calling himself an “ardent philanthropist,” Trump has only donated $3.7 million to his foundation from 1990-2009.

charity-2

Here’s a sheet of David Fahrenthold’s notes he showed on Twitter to prove that what he wrote about the Trump Foundation wasn’t fake news. He ended up winning a well-deserved Pulitzer Prize for his coverage in 2017.

During the 2016 presidential campaign, The Washington Post’s David Fahrenthold initiated an investigation into Donald Trump’s philanthropic activities after Trump held a fundraiser for veterans in January 2016 in lieu of a televised Republican debate appearance. Trump claimed the event raised $6,000,000 for veterans’ causes, including supposedly $1,000,000,000 of his own money. Fahrenthold began his investigation by trying to confirm the receipt and dispersal of that $6 million. All donations should’ve gone to the Trump Foundation which should’ve granted the money to others. Instead, Fahrenthold determined that, several months after the rally, the Trump Foundation had yet to send any funds to veterans-related charities. Though some of the funds went directly to causes without passing the Trump Foundation, Fahrenthold widened his search to a wider investigation.

In June 2016 as a response to this criticism, Donald Trump publicly asserted that he had given approximately $102 million to charitable causes from 2009-2015 and released a 93-page list of the money’s beneficiaries. However, subsequent reporting by the Washington Post and other news organizations found that many of the donations Trump claimed making personally over this 5-year period were made by the Trump Foundation. And by 2009, no longer held any of Trump’s money. While further investigations led to an increasing of abuse inside the foundation since its creation. David Fahrenthold’s investigation into the Trump Foundation and Trump’s history of personal charitable giving involved hundreds of calls to Trump-associated charities. It’s also notable in that Fahrenthold heavily drew support and investigative help from a larger number of his Twitter followers helping him track down leads on specific charities. The accusations against the Trump Foundation are many, including the following (which mostly comes from Wikipedia, by the way And yes, it’s most of the information comes from cited sources, including Fahrenthold).

Failure to maintain proper governance

In June 2018, the New York Attorney General office filed a petition explaining that: “…none of the Foundation’s expenditures or activities were approved by its Board of Directors. The investigation found that the Board existed in name only: it did not meet after 1999; it did not set policy or criteria for choosing grant recipients; and it did not approve of any grants. Mr. Trump alone made all decisions related to the Foundation.” Also, Trump Foundation treasurer Allen Weisselberg claimed he wasn’t even aware of his position on the foundation’s board until investigators approached him. Such signs in a foundation give a bright red flag to a charity scam.

Donation solicitation without a license

Under New York state law, a nonprofit foundation must register as a “7A Charitable Organization” if planning to solicit outside donations over $25,000. Initially, the Trump Foundation was registered as a private foundation set up solely to receive Donald Trump’s own personal donations. As long as it was registered as a private foundation and not soliciting outside funds, it didn’t have to file annual reports with the New York State Charities Bureau. Of course, given Trump’s aversion to transparency in financial matters, this might’ve been the reason why the Trump Foundation didn’t register as a “7A Charitable Organization.” But records show that Trump began soliciting donations at least as early as 2004, maybe even 1989.

Mishandling of funds raised for veterans’ causes

merlin_139555518_ff88b5e9-4822-41c2-ba27-c470d4d0ac38-articleLarge

Here’s that fucking piece of shit Donald Trump bestowing a large check to a veterans’ charity in Iowa in 2016. Still, I wouldn’t cash in that check if I were these ladies. Mostly because the check might bounce.

In April 2016, Fox News reported that more than 2 months after Donald Trump said he raised $6 million for veterans at a pre-Iowa Caucus fundraiser, “most of the organizations targeted to receive the money have gotten less than half of that amount.” At the same time, Trump said he contributed $1 million of his personal funds. In late May, Trump revised the figures, claiming that $5.6 million had been raised at the event and that he contributed his $1 million share only the week before after the media criticized him. He also provided a list of beneficiaries of that $5.6 million. Although a 2018 New York state lawsuit further disputes this, citing $2.8 million.

Coordinating foundation grants with Trump’s presidential campaign

It should surprise nobody that Donald Trump might’ve used Trump foundation grants to advance his presidential campaign. This violates rules barring charities from engaging in political activity. Trump at least distributed some of the funds publicly at “Donald Trump for President” political rallies, displaying large-size checks including his campaign slogan, “Make America Great Again” or a link to a campaign website. In an October 2017 deposition, Trump Organization CFO Allen Weisselberg testified that he witnessed Trump’s campaign staff coordinate with him to use the Iowa fundraiser for the campaign’s benefit. In a larger suit against the foundation in 2018, New York State Attorney General Barbara Underwood alleged that Trump in using the foundation for campaign promotion during and after the Iowa fundraiser, had violated charities laws.

Grants to the National Museum of Catholic Art and Library

In each of 1995 and 1999, the Trump Foundation granted $50,000 to the National Museum of Catholic Art and Library. According to a 2001 Village Voice report, after visiting the East Harlem museum, the facility had “next to no art” and no official connection to the Catholic Church, despite having a 10-year track record of soliciting large-scale donations for its collection. The Voice and later, The Washington Post concluded that Trump may have directed the grants to the museum to curry favor with then museum chairman, Eddie Malloy, who was also head of the Building and Construction Trades Council of Greater New York. The Council had worked on behalf of one of the workers’ unions who worked on Trump construction projects.

Failure to make pledged 9/11 donations

An October 2016 New York City Comptroller office investigation showed that Donald Trump or the Trump Foundation might’ve failed to honor at least one pledge to charities established to provide relief to 9/11 victims. In late September 2001, Trump pledged $10,000 to the Twin Towers Fund on The Howard Stern Show. Created by then-Mayor Rudy Giuliani, the Twin Towers Fund was “to benefit the families of firefighters and police officers who died in the attacks.” During the 2016 Republican National Convention, Giuliani announced that Trump made unspecified “anonymous” donations after the September 11 attacks. Though such donations have never been identified. Ever the sycophant, Giuliani also said in support of Trump’s candidacy, “Every time New York City suffered a tragedy Donald Trump was there to help,…. He’s not going to like my telling you this but he did it anonymously.”

The New York City Comptroller’s office told the New York Daily News it manually reviewed “approximately 1,500 pages of donor records of the Twin Towers Fund and the related entity NYC Public/Private Initiatives Inc., containing the names of more than 110,000 individuals and entities that were collected as part of the audits” through August 2012. According to them, Comptroller Scott Stringer, “found that Trump and [the Trump Foundation] hadn’t donated a dime in the months after 9/11.” However, because the reviewed period only covered one year after the attacks, the Comptroller office was “unable to conclude definitively” that Trump never gave to the fund after August 2002. According to its IRS Form 990 tax filings, the Trump Foundation made no grants to the Twin Towers Fund or to the NYC Public/Private Initiatives, Inc. it’s a part of from 2002-2014. Though Donald Trump might’ve made personal donations after August 2002 that wouldn’t have shown up in the filings.

After the convention in 2016, Donald Trump’s campaign suggested that the Trump Foundation made a grant to the American Red Cross after the attacks. But no record exists in its tax filings from 2002-2014. As with the Twin Towers Fund, a personal donation by Trump wouldn’t have shown up in its filings.

Using Trump Foundation money to settle Trump Organization legal disputes

flagtrumpuntitled-1

Those who read my post about Donald Trump in Mar-a-Lago may remember the outsized flag dispute with Palm Beach. Well, guess where he got the money to pay for that. Yep, his Trump Foundation slush fund.

Donald Trump might’ve used Trump Foundation money to settle his personal or business legal disputes on at least 2 occasions. In 2007, Trump used foundation money to settle his 2006 legal dispute between the town of Palm Beach, Florida and Trump’s Mar-a-Lago country club. This pertained to Trump putting up a gigantic flagpole that was too high and hoisting a flag that was too large as far as the town’s ordinances are concerned. If you read my post on Trump at Mar-a-Lago I published earlier this month, then you probably know how it goes. Anyway, settlement documents show that in return for discharging the club’s obligations to Palm Beach, Trump agreed to personally donate $100,000 to a veterans and military families charity Fischer House. However, Trump made the grant using foundation money, not his.

Donald Trump’s foundation paid $158,000 to the Martin B. Greenberg Foundation as a settlement in a lawsuit Greenberg brought against the Trump National Golf Club Westchester in Briarcliff Manor, New York. Martin Greenberg alleged that he rightfully won a $1 million prize for scoring a hole-in-one during a 2010 charity golf tournament. But the club denied the award on technical grounds, arguing the hole was shorter than the required 150 yards. He sued and both parties reached a settlement according to the Washington Post that, that “on the day that Trump and the other parties told the court that they had settled the case, the Donald J. Trump Foundation made its first and only grant to the Martin B. Greenberg Foundation, for $158,000.” In September 2016, the Post reported that the grant money was directly linked to the legal settlement, likely violating IRS self-dealing rules by using charitable funds to pay Trump’s personal or business obligations. To raise the needed money for the settlement, the Trump Foundation auctioned a prize of a Trump-owned golf course lifetime membership, with a $157,000 donation to the Trump Foundation as the winning bid. The auction winner might’ve believed they were donating to Trump Foundation charitable causes instead of Trump’s tax exempt personal piggy bank. According to the foundation’s available tax returns, Trump National Golf Club Westchester paid over $200,000 to the Trump Foundation in 2016, with $158,000 of the funds for the Martin B. Greenberg settlement.

Donation to Florida Attorney General Pam Bondi

2gettyimages-585727168_wide-3c747c6cc09b1f58e11b8f04e7900645420d733a-s800-c85

This is Florida Attorney General Pam Bondi. In 2013, during her office’s investigation into Trump University, Donald Trump gave her money from his foundation to make it go away. She dropped the case shortly afterwards. And she’s not the only one either.

In 2013, Donald Trump donated $25,000 in support of Florida Attorney General Pam Bondi’s election campaign while her office was reviewing fraud allegations against Trump University, a for-profit real-estate program scam Trump created. At the same time, Trump also hosted a fundraiser for Bondi at his Mar-a-Lago resort at a fee well below his normal market rate. In return, Bondi’s office ended the investigation without bringing charges. According to a Trump Foundation attorney, “the [$25,000] contribution was made in error due to a case of mistaken identity of organizations with the same name.” But Trump personally reimbursed his foundation for the $25,000. It paid a $2,500 fine for violating IRS rules against political contributions by charitable organizations. In 2016, then New York Attorney General Eric Schneiderman publicly stated that the Trump Foundation was now subject to investigation by his office.

Nonprofit watchdog group, Citizens for Responsibility and Ethics in Washington filed a complaint with the IRS. Obtaining a letter from the Trump Foundation’s lawyer to the New York Attorney General’s office also cast doubt on Donald Trump’s story. According to CREW Communications Director Jordan Libowitz, “We’re past the point where a reasonable person could believe this is just a never-ending series of once in a lifetime errors. This may not be anything nefarious, but if it isn’t, that would mean that the Trump operation is completely inept when it comes to running the Trump Foundation.” In October 2016, The Wall Street Journal reported details of how Trump had made campaign contributions to various US state attorneys general while reviewing cases involving the Trump Organization or himself personally, on several occasions since the early 1980s. Though the Bondi case is the only one cited as involving Trump Foundation money.

Grants allegedly made for political purposes

In 2012, Donald Trump paid $100,000 to the Reverend Billy Graham Evangelical Association. NBC News has called Graham “an early ally” of his. In 2011, Graham told ABC News, “The more you listen to him, the more you say to yourself, ‘You know, maybe the guy’s right.’” In October 2016, Graham revealed to the Charlotte Observer that he instructed Trump to make a $100,000 donation which was used for full page ads urging voters to support 2012 presidential candidates who support “biblical values.” The time and tone of the ads indicate they were placed in support of Mitt Romney as the Observer suggested. Graham also headed the Boone, North Carolina-based Samaritan’s Purse, a Christian relief agency that received $25,000 from the Trump Foundation in 2012. Graham credits then-Fox News anchor Greta Van Susteren for soliciting the donation from Trump. Van Susteren had accompanied Graham on Samaritan’s Purse trips to Hawaii and North Korea. The Charlotte Observer quoted Graham saying, “[Trump] was on her show, and [Van Susteren] said, ‘I was just in Haiti and Samaritan’s Purse is doing this down there, and Donald, you need to help.’ He sent a check out.” In 2016, several media outlets alleged that Van Sustreren had been producing overtly pro-Trump reports on her Fox News show On the Record. These donations seem to explain some of Trump’s support with some white evangelicals in the Bible Belt.

HL7Q7GE36WCUBGU2GDLWHBAWUU

Here’s Donald Trump shaking hands with David Bossie, best known for being head of Citizens United. You know the group in that Supreme Court case that ditched a slew of campaign finance laws and allowed rich people to spend as much money they wanted on political candidates. Also Trump gave money to him via Trump Foundation funds.

In 2014, the Trump Foundation made a $100,000 grant to the Citizens United Foundation, a charitable foundation closely related to David Bossie’s conservative group, Citizens United. If that sounds familiar, Citizens United was the group behind the Supreme Court case that allowed unlimited contributions from corporate donors, Super PACs, and dark money in political campaigns. At the time, Citizens United was engaged in a lawsuit against then-New York State Attorney General Eric Schneiderman, whose office was also pursuing a civil lawsuit against Trump University. It was the largest single grant the Trump Foundation made that year. Schneiderman’s office called the grant part of a “vendetta” by Donald Trump. While Citizens United rejected any connection between the grant and its own lawsuit against Schneiderman. The Trump Foundation’s 2014 tax filing misidentified Citizens United as a public charity (501(c)(3)) when it’s actually a social welfare organization (501(c)(4)).

From 2011-2013, the Trump Foundation donated at total of $40,000 to the Drumthwacket Foundation, a charitable organization formed to pay for renovation and historical preservation of the New Jersey governor’s mansion of the same name. In 2011, Donald Trump was trying to get permits for a personal cemetery on the fairway at Trump National Golf Club in New Jersey and may have needed political help in obtaining approval. Keep in mind that Chris Christie was governor at the time.

Donald Trump directed $100,000 in Trump Foundation money toward the National September 11 Memorial Museum days before the 2016 New York State Republican presidential primary, where he was on the ballot, mischaracterizing the foundation grant as a personal donation.

In May 2015, the Trump Foundation granted $100,000 to conservative filmmaker and conspiracy theorist James O’Keefe’s Project Veritas. In October 2016, O’Keefe released videos apparently revealing how Democrats incited violence at Donald Trump’s rallies through dubious means. Except that’s not true. During the third 2016 presidential debate, Trump claimed the new videos O’Keefe produced and released that week proved that Hillary Clinton and Barack Obama “hired people” and “paid them $1,500” to “be violent, cause fights, [and] do bad things” at Trump rallies. Despite the fact such details are utter bullshit. Besides, there are many instances where Trump has incited violence at his rallies. A Democratic National Committee spokesperson noted Trump’s donation after Project Veritas released another video on the 2016 election. A Project Veritas spokesperson responded saying, “We have a multi-million dollar budget and the cost of this video series alone is way up there. The donation Trump provided didn’t impact our actions one way or the other.” Though you have to strongly doubt that.

Then there’s the fact that Donald Trump might’ve directed Trump Foundation money to support his presidential campaign. In one case, the grants were used specifically to pay for newspaper ads. In October 2016, Real Clear Politics reported that Trump directed significant amounts of foundation money to conservative organizations, possibly in return for political support and access. They found that from 2011-2014, Trump had “harnessed his eponymous foundation to send at least $286,000 to influential conservative or policy groups…. In many cases, this flow of money corresponded to prime speaking slots or endorsements that aided Trump as he sought to recast himself as a plausible Republican candidate for president.” At least 2 of the groups are based in Republican-leaning early presidential primary states. In addition to the infamous Citizens United, groups include Iowa’s The Family Leader, the South Carolina Palmetto Family Council, the American Conservative Union, and the American Spectator Foundation. Trump’s foundation money grants could’ve violated the law if it was in return for his personal right to speak and gain access to networking events. Considering that he seemed to be an outsider early in the 2016 campaign, I wouldn’t put it past him.

  • The Trump Foundation’s $10,000 grant in 2013 to The Family Leader might’ve led to a speaking engagement for Donald Trump. The Family Leader is an Iowa-based organization whose stated mission is to “strengthen families, by inspiring Christ-like leadership in the home, the church, and the government.” Following the grant, the group’s leader Vader Plaats invited Trump to speak at its leadership summit. Because The Family Leader is a (501(c)(4)) corporation established “develop, advocate and support legislative agenda at the state level” and not a charity, these grants might’ve been illegal. Though Trump might’ve intended to make a grant to The Family Leader Foundation, which is a 501(c)(3) charitable foundation. Either way, it seems shady.
  • Donald Trump was invited to speak at the American Conservative Union’s Conservative Political Action Conference (CPAC) in 2013 after directing $50,000 of Trump Foundation money to the organization. That same year, Trump was invited to speak at Washington’s Economic Club after the Trump Foundation made a grant there.

Partial payment of an assessment owed by the Plaza Hotel

In 1989, the Trump Foundation paid more than half for a “voluntary assessment” imposed on the Plaza Hotel by the Central Park Conservancy. The Trump Organization owned the hotel at the time and the assessment was for the renovation of the severely dilapidated Pulitzer Fountain at Grand Army Plaza directly facing the place. Toward the $500,000 assessment, the foundation granted $264,631 to the Conservancy while the Trump Organization paid between $100,000 and $250,000. The grant to the Conservancy was the Trump Foundation’s largest single grant since its inception through 2015.

Using foundation money to purchase personal or business goods or services

polaroid-trump-painting

Here’s one of the paintings Donald Trump bought with his fake charity money. This one from Doral was discovered on TripAdvisor and a Univision reporter just had to check it out.

On 2 occasions, Donald Trump used the Trump Foundation’s money to buy portraits of himself.

  • In 2007, Donald Trump spent $10,000 in Trump Foundation funds to purchase a 6ft-tall portrait of himself by artist Michael Israel at a Florida benefit for a charity, the Children’s Place at Hornespace, held at his Mar-a-Lago club after his wife Melania made the highest bid. The painter’s former production manager told The Washington Post that he shipped the painting to the Trump National Golf Club Westchester in Briarcliff Manor, New York, allegedly for display in the country club’s conference room or boardroom, at Melania’s request. The charity paid half the proceeds to the artist for the painting, establishing that it had a fair market value of at least that amount. Tax experts told the Post that if it was displayed at a golf club, it could violate IRS rules prohibiting nonprofits from self-dealing (like using charity funds for noncharitable purposes). In September 2015, President Barack Obama publicly criticized Trump’s painting purchase.
  • In 2014 at a charity benefit for the Unicorn Children’s Foundation at his Mar-a-Lago resort, Donald Trump bought a 4ft tall painting of a 1990s version of himself by Argentine artist Havi Schanz, paying for it with $20,000 Trump Foundation funds. A photo of the portrait was found on a TripAdvisor review of Trump National Doral Miami. Later a Univision reporter went to the club, asked the various staff about the painting, and eventually discovered it hanging on at the golf resort’s Champions Bar & Grill restaurant. Trump campaign spokesman Boris Epshteyn explained on MSNBC that Trump’s use of the painting there was not only proper but beneficial to the foundation based on IRS rules allowing individuals to store items “on behalf of the foundation – in order to help with storage costs” and that its use at the restaurant is “absolutely proper” in that Trump was “doing his foundation a favor.”

During a charity auction at his Mar-a-Lago club in 2012, Donald Trump bid $12,000 for a Tim Tebow autographed NFL football helmet and a Tebow football jersey. Newspaper accounts credited Trump for his generosity. However, the purchase was made with $12,000 in Trump Foundation money, not his own. The helmet and jersey’s current whereabouts are unknown. But according to tax law experts, if Trump kept them, the purchase might’ve violated the self-dealing rule, banning private foundations from “the furnishing of goods” to their own officers.

In 2008, Donald Trump used $107,000 in Trump Foundation funds to purchase luxury trips to Paris, including a meeting with actress Salma Hayek at a charity auction for the Gucci Foundation.

In 2013, the Trump Foundation made a $5,000 grant to the nonprofit D.C. Preservation League. According to The Washington Post, the nonprofit’s support was helpful to the Trump Organization in obtaining the rights to convert Washington D.C.’s historic Old Post Office Pavilion into the Trump International Hotel. In acknowledgement for the donation, the Trump Foundation received ads in the event programs. But the ads promoted the hotel rather than the foundation, in possible violation of IRS self-dealing rules.

The Palm Beach Post has suggested that Donald Trump benefitted personally when the Trump Foundation made grants totaling $20,000 from 2011-2014 in return for band and choir performances held at his resorts.

Diverting business or personal income as donations to the foundation

Donald Trump may have directed income personally owed to him to be sent to the Trump Foundation instead of his bank account, in possible tax rules violation. In September 2016, The Washington Post reported that Trump directed that $2.3 million owed to him by various people and organizations should be paid instead as donations to his foundation. Hell, the Post found old Associated Press coverage showing that Trump may have started directing income to the Trump Foundation as early as 1989. IRS rules prohibit individuals from diverting taxable income owed to them toward charities if they benefit directly from them, unless the person declares the income on their personal tax forms. Since Trump has yet to release his tax returns as of 2018, the Post couldn’t confirm if Trump declared the income for any of the received donations.

The Trump Foundation received at least $1.9 million from ticket broker Richard Ebbers who had bought goods, services, including tickets from “Trump or his businesses.” He was allegedly instructed to pay for them to the Trump Foundation in the form of charitable contributions instead as Trump Organization income.

LDECPBPD

Donald Trump had his money from his WWE appearances directed as donations to the Trump Foundation totaling to $5 million. I guess it was to avoid taxes since he doesn’t like paying them.

In 2007 and 2009, the Trump Foundation received a total of $5 million in donations from World Wrestling Entertainment owner Vince McMahon and his wife Linda. Trump appeared twice for WrestleMania events in those years. The 2007 donation was $1 million while the 2009 one was $4 million. The WWE later told The Huffington Post that, “during this period of time, WWE paid Donald Trump appearance fees separately,” and “separately, [WWE chief executives] Vince and Linda McMahon made personal donations to Donald Trump’s foundation.”

In 2007, the Celebrity Fight Night Foundation hosted a fundraiser to benefit the Muhammad Ali Parkinson’s Center in Phoenix, Arizona. According to a CFNF spokesperson, in return for Donald Trump’s appearance and his offering a New York-based dinner with himself at auction, Trump stipulated that the Parkinson’s charity share the total auction proceeds with the Trump Foundation, which totaled to $150,000 that would’ve otherwise gone to the center benefitted Parkinson’s Disease research.
Other donations made to the Trump Foundation that might’ve been in return for Donald Trump’s personal work include:

  • $400,000 from Comedy Central for Trump’s attendance at a celebrity roast in his honor.
  • $150,000 from People Magazine in return for exclusive photos of Trump’s son, Barron.
  • $500,000 from NBC Universal in 2012 while airing Trump’s show, The Apprentice.
  • $100,000 from the family of Donna Clancy, whose family law office had been renting space at the Trump Organizations 40 Wall Street building.
  • $100,000 in 2005, for Melania Trump’s work for Norwegian Cruise Lines on a segment later included on The Apprentice. A company spokesperson confirmed that Melania’s appearance fee was paid in a Trump Foundation donation

Granting money to charities that rented Trump Organization facilities

231624_1320467.jpg.1500x1000_q95_crop-smart_upscale

These people are protesting the Dana-Farber Cancer Institute for holding events at Trump resorts. Good thing, since Donald Trump earns money from their fundraisers than what his foundation gaves to them.

Donald Trump has been accused of directing money toward several charities that in turn paid the Trump Organization to host charity events at Trump-owned resorts and golf clubs. High-profile charity events at Mar-a-Lago cost as much as $300,000. Notable examples include:

  • In 2010, Donald Trump was personally honored by the Palm Beach Police Foundation after the Trump Foundation donated to the charity $150,000 during the 2009-2010 period. According to the police foundation’s public tax records, the Palm Beach Police Foundation paid the Trump Organization $276,463 in rent in 2014 for it “Police Ball and Auction” held at Trump’s Mar-a-Lago hotel. The 2014 tax filings also lists $44,332 in unattributed “direct expenses” the police foundation paid for the same event along with $36,608 in “direct expenses” for its annual “Golf Classic” it holds yearly at a Trump Organization-owned golf course. For each of the 4 years prior to 2014, the police foundation’s public tax records show significant “direct expenses” incurred for both the Police Ball and Auction and the golf tournament. Though filings don’t list expense categories.
  • In 2013, according to The Washington Post, Donald Trump donated to the V Foundation, a cancer-fighting founded by former basketball coach Jim Valvano, in return for the V Foundation hosting a fundraiser at his Trump Winery in Virginia.
  • The Dana-Farber Cancer Institute paid the Trump Organization substantial fees to hold annual events at Mar-a-Lago. In turn, the Trump Foundation granted a total of $85,000 to the Institute in 2006 and 2007, among other grants in subsequent years.

Donald Trump taking personal credit for donations made using foundation money

whoinvitedhim

Donald Trump often likes to boast about his philanthropy. But in reality, he often donated to charity using other people’s money from his Trump Foundation personal piggy bank. And he’s said to be one of the least charitable billionaires to date.

In 2016, both Fox News and The Washington Post reported that Donald Trump has repeatedly claimed in public to have made over “$102 million” in charitable donations “in the past five years.” The Trump Organization provided journalists with a 93-page donation list. None of the cash donations were confirmed to come from Trump personally while many were grants from the Trump Foundation, which no longer contained any of his own money.

For instance, Donald Trump took personal credit while honored for a Trump Foundation grant to the Palm Beach Police Foundation that actually came from an outside source. Though he pledge money personally before the Trump Foundation solicited $150,000 earmarked for the police foundation from an unrelated philanthropic organization, the Charles Evans Foundation. It took that money and paid it to the Palm Beach charity. The police then personally honored Trump with its annual Palm Tree Award at his Mar-a-Lago hotel during its annual fundraiser. The Washington Post wrote that, Trump had effectively turned the Evans Foundation’s gifts into his own gifts, without adding any money of his own.”

The Dana-Farber Cancer Institute has honored Donald Trump variously as “Grand Benefactor” and “Grand Honorary Chair” at its annual fundraisers held at Trump’s Mar-a-Lago estate. However, Trump may have also earned money from the event fees he received from the Institute than the Trump Foundation paid to them in grants. Since 2010, Trump has directed at least $300,000 in Trump Foundation grants to the Institute.
On his prime-time TV show, The Apprentice, Donald Trump has received highly visible praise for his personal generosity on multiple occasions. He’s frequently offered to make generous donations to his contestants’ charities. But records show that he ultimately directed the Trump Foundation to make a grant or instead had the show’s network, NBC Universal to make the donation instead. Examples include:

  • A 2008 episode where Donald Trump told mixed martial artist Tito Ortiz, “I think you’re so incredible that — personally, out of my own account — I’m going to give you $50,000 for St. Jude’s [children’s hospital].” St. Jude’s is also Eric Trump’s favorite charity. Trump then had the Trump Foundation make a $50,000 grant to the children’s hospital.
  • In 2012, Donald Trump promised at least 6 personal $10,000 donations each to contestants’ chosen charities on a Celebrity Apprentice episode. In another episode from the same season, he pledged $10,000 to contestant Aubrey O’Day’s chosen charity, a gift “that moved [contestant and comedienne Lisa] Lampanelli to tears.” According to The Washington Post’s review of the tax filings, Trump directed all this money to be granted to the charities out of Trump Foundation funds.
  • In 2013, Donald Trump promised personal $20,000 donations each to charities of basketball star Dennis Rodman, singer La Toya Jackson, Playboy Playmate Brande Roderick, and actor Gary Busey. Trump then used Trump Foundation money to make the payments. He told them, Remember, Donald Trump is a very nice person, okay?” According to a Washington Post reporter reviewing the show’s transcripts, by 2013, “contestants had come to expect these gifts — and even to demand them, when Trump didn’t offer money on his own.”
  • For a $14,000 gift to the Starkey Hearing Foundation, a Marliee Matlin’s chosen charity, Donald Trump was credited this this “personal donation” though it actually came from the Trump Foundation.

Other alleged examples include:

  • In 2009, Donald Trump appeared on Extra where he promised to pay a struggling viewer’s domestic bills. “This is really a bad time for a lot of people,” he said as the contest was announced. Trump eventually paid the winner with Trump Foundation money. A Trump representative later explained the grant was legal because the winner qualified as an “indigent” individual under Internal Revenue Code section 4945(d)(3), a contention at least one tax expert has disputed.
  • Donald Trump was honored with a chair and a plaque with his name at the Raymond J. Kravis Center of the Performing Arts after the Trump Foundation donated $10,000.
  • In 2014, Donald Trump took personal credit for a $25,000 Trump Foundation grant at a speech honoring slain journalist, James Foley. At the time The New Hampshire Union Leader published an article titled Trump leads tribute for slain journalist James Foley. Foley was posthumously awarded the 12th annual Nackey S. Loeb First Amendment Award, “given annually to New Hampshire organizations or residents who protect or exemplify the liberties listed in the First Amendment to the Constitution.” Trump was the ironic, “featured speaker of the event.” Compare this to how Trump regularly attacks the media for reporting negative stories about him instead of lavishing him with unearned praise like Fox News does. Or how he’s willing to defend Vladimir Putin or the Saudi Arabian Crown Prince despite that these 2 have had journalists murdered.
  • In 2016, Donald Trump received personal praise for a $100,000 Trump Foundation grant to the National September 11 Memorial Museum ahead of the 2016 New York State Republican primary.

Making grants to other private foundations without fulfilling IRS “expenditure responsibility” rules

By law, the Trump Foundation was responsible for ensuring that any grant it takes to another private foundation is strictly used for charitable purposes. To fulfill this IRS “expenditure responsibility” the foundation is required to attach “full and detailed” reports describing the grant money’s uses to its IRS 990 tax return for each year to a private foundation is made. Trump Foundation tax returns show it failing to do this all of the 20 grants it made to private foundations from 2005-2014. Such grants in this period totaling to $488,500 could be subject to significant fines and penalties.

Receiving donation from Ukranian oligarch during 2016 presidential campaign

In 2015, Ukrainian Victor Pichkun donated $150,000 to the Trump Foundation in return for Donald Trump’s video conference link appearance at the Yalta European Strategy Conference. The appearance was broadcast on a large screen and lasted 20 minutes, including translation and technical difficulty delays. Pichkun is the son-in-law of former Ukranian president Lionid Kuchima. In 2018, the New York Times reported that Special Counsel Robert Mueller was investigating this donation as a possible illegal in-kind foreign national campaign contribution intended to curry favor with then-candidate Donald Trump.

The Airy World of Balloon Sculpture

animal-theme-balloon-sculptures

Balloons often serve as trappings at parties and celebrations. While the rubber balloon was invented by Michael Faraday during experiments with various gases, some of the earliest of these were made out of dried animal bladders like a pig’s. Aside from rubber, modern balloons can be made of latex, polychloroprene, or nylon as well as come in a variety of different colors. Most of the time, we use balloons for decorations and entertainment. Though others can be used for practical purposes like meteorology, medical treatment, military defense, or transportation. Yet, I kind of covered the transportation part in a post last year on hot air balloons. Anyway, when you go to a party, you might be familiar with the idea of balloon animals like you see above. Well, do a Google search on balloon sculpture and you’ll find plenty of things people have made with balloons. Some of them for contests. Still, some might be of the simple balloon dog kind, there are plenty that can be rather elaborate. So for your reading pleasure, I bring you a treasure trove of stunning balloon sculptures.

  1. Clowns must always come stacked together.
0b01f8d45580b4c378291f0701fda4e4

Clowns have been long associated with balloons. Still, if you add one more, the whole thing can topple.

2. Mr. Potato Head always likes to party.

0e105c8e68c3b99b0bfe492fe2338a1e

Though if he gets too drunk he might lose some of his facial features. Or arms or legs, possibly.

3. The mighty griffin always sits with grace.

1a2f40bbfc88be00b814ad97babb638110cd75131433559845

You can tell because it has a tail and paws. Real eagles have claws and tail feathers.

4. Care to listen to this juke box?

1efbbd49730c90c6082d2a55144d140d

Well, you won’t be hearing tunes from this one. But it’s great for a 1950s theme party.

5. This balloon girl has bouncing pigtails.

1fe53cad5af2770f75aa16a6401d8fa6

She even wears a pink dress with a flower on it. So adorable.

6. You’d revel over this inflatable grand piano.

2b533552817f8a94b11ace4e4b502b99

Though be careful if you opt to touch it. Because it can easily pop. Also, don’t try to play it.

7. Hugging bears always enjoy a balloon ride.

2cb86a3a5db60a0fc32990c3cb0ebec0

Though they’re on a raft instead of a basket. Love the rainbow hot air balloon though.

8. Better to have a blue bird in your hand than 2 in a bush.

2e1b39b0e30d84a2069c6a477835f578

This is by a balloon artist as you can see. And I think it’s bigger than the real thing.

9. A rainbow can always make your days better.

2-partia-T-cza-Zestaw-Balon-Urodziny-Wesele-Wystr-j-20-D-ugi-Balon-16-Okr

This one has a rainbow in the clouds. Tubes for colors. round ones for clouds.

10. Want to swing together?

3e798eb04d63a68f33c6466807727493

Seems like these 2 were made for each other. Though I have no idea what’s on the guy’s head.

11. A fairy princess is always happy with her flowers.

4-balloon-sculpture

She carries a wand and wears a crown. While the flowers surround her. So adorable.

12. The doctor will see you now.

4c079923fec04b5822ae2f533bdac747

Well, these are doctor balloons. One of them has a surgeon’s cap and mask.

13. A single balloon is not enough to reach enlightenment.

4d28efb981ba5c71a5b725d568a9796c

Yes, this is a Buddha balloon sculpture. And I’m sure some Buddhists won’t be pleased.

14. Check out her new pink purse.

5ecc8acbda67c1d8f0582b7d8c3bd376

She wears a long green dress with polka dot balloons at the bottom. And yes, she’s ready to party.

15. Someone must’ve upset the earthen vessel.

6d4d45009d677f3c49a76643ae7a1b21

This is a balloon water scene. Has rocks and trees joined at the top.

16. Saddle up on this little horsey.

6f9087b88fc7113f90d52e75ebe4c252

On second thought, better not. Because it’ll go pop if you sit on it.

17. A butterfly always loves a flowery tree.

7b8b02a18ca7908b22742490151dd40f

Seems like it was made for a party. While the butterfly is so colorful and shiny.

18. “I am Iron Man. The suit and I are one.”

7b7497e0a92bb0bffd7489bd804b5e56

However, I don’t think you can save the world in a suit made out of inflated rubber. But it’s a nice resemblance that will make Tony Stark proud.

19. Wouldn’t you love to be in this gingerbread house?

7cd125785f54c8bfb60700ff20a5d868

Hey, at least you won’t eat anything from it. Great for any Christmas party. So charming.

20. Perhaps you’d want a shiny rose bouquet.

7d18ec275b09e44b41cafdb9b82dabc5

Contains pink and purple roses. Perfect for any table.

21. Grace your party with an inflated peacock.

7e9df7f0402d2d847933a44e42ef5ddb

Comes with 3 lilies. Though best not to touch it or it will deflate.

22. Any child would enjoy a balloon Big Bird.

7e17344d68ddbff5a76107e613f18e36

Wonder if they had this at Carol Spiney’s retirement party. Still, this is so cute.

23. Perhaps you might want to drive this semi.

08bb6d2cb4e746ca156191ce482ee536

Yes, this is a balloon semi truck. I’m sure who had to blow into this is all tuckered out already. Okay, they probably used an air pump, but still.

24. Nobody could resist a cupcake like this.

8c94f3744a48eec9e63385c3b0556eef

Even has sprinkles on it. Wonder how you inflate them.

25. Hope you can see with these glasses.

8d38e33fcb9c10caba0c16be35aae190

Comes on its own stand. Though it doesn’t have any lenses.

26. Now you, too can ride upon a purple horse.

8fe53f75ab3eeb9e871effb70b3c2ce3

Okay, you can ride on a balloon horse. Even has a long flowing mane, too.

27. Bet you didn’t think to see a rooster like this at the crack of dawn.

09f0a6e79ad8fa884fec0bc68dc3587d

Sure he may not crow, but that might be a bonus. Comes with a couple of flowers.

28. Parisians would marvel at this balloon Eiffel Tower.

9a3d6c94513b3685968097eb9f53b85d

This one even lights up. Didn’t know a balloon display can do that.

29. Hope you don’t get karate chopped by this guy.

9c53e9cfd41137797c2dc0dca25e9c59

Yes, that’s a balloon karate guy. And he’s ready to deflate anyone who stands in his way.

30. Perhaps you’d like a fairy garden entrance.

9d6debbaf04d20692914ea869fc4bd9b

Includes a large flower and tree. And I’m positive that it’s for a little girl’s birthday party.

31. Bet you’ve never seen a flower like this before.

9e5e1bb29e8343116a666f902b36dc5a

This balloon flower reaches the ceiling of this building. Hope it doesn’t wilt.

32. Eek! Giant bug! Kill it with fire!

9e0389f59b5f797294002e702c6297b0

Actually it’s a fly made out of balloons. Even has clear balloon wings.

33.  Beware of the ferocious fire-breathing dragon.

9f14a1f700b7b201f0ba66cda7ef4830

Doesn’t look particularly vicious. Though he has a whole space all to himself.

34. A windmill will do quite well beside a waterfall.

9fe6f9cd9f35379b8e465a7d5dde1022

Indeed, you can make whole scenes from balloons. But the windmill seems kind of out of place.

35. A balloon house can be especially haunted.

10e520954b5e99930d35163c61ca7371

Well, I know Halloween is over. But this is a balloon sculpture post so I’ll include it.

36. You’ll find this imposing mask hanging from the ceiling.

17a540885f1b783c89eaf81283430074

Wonder if this is for a superhero. But it’s perfect for a Comic Con.

37. Want to ride in this car?

25-Amazing-Pieces-of-Balloon-Art-22

It’s an old timey yellow car. While this guy is having a good old time.

38. This dalmation wants to give you flowers.

25e9f371d4c935131d94d18bab6f1c06

This dog loves has a nice bouquet of 3. So adorable.

39. This little raccoon has come out of its stump.

049afd8e3c0ded11637af007af0b3a48

And it seems this little guy loves to smell the roses. Though I suppose it likes to eat from the garbage once in a while, too.

40. Looks like somebody spilled some beer.

54be71863fb0db1e9a7aae47d5e667dc

Don’t worry since the froth is made form balloons. That ought to make you say, “dilly, dilly!”

41. With a steering wheel like this, it’s welcome aboard.

56c099cd8cb399f58c2c67949e8f00f4

Guess this is for an ocean themed party. Yet, I think this wheel is too big for a ship.

42. A Chinese dragon is dazzling in the air.

59dfd5adbfb3cb529af1e5b6569810c2

This Chinese dragon is quite colorful and knows how to make an entrance. Wonder if it’s for a Chinese New Year party.

43. “Dinner is served.”

65e3c0c3827ad87bf0aad44bb563f9f9

Of course, he didn’t cook the food. Though he’s dressed as a chef in balloons.

44. “This is the night, it’s a beautiful night…”

78fc2f21d391315b20d8f40206d57e38

This a balloon version of the Lady and the Tramp spaghetti dinner scene. And yes, it’s amazing.

45. Perhaps you might like a white balloon dress.

83d1a9b7398ce7981f215c2340535a8b

Yes, they have balloon outfits. Don’t know why these don’t pop. Or how these people manage to sit down.

46. Jazz it up with a giant light-up saxophone.

93b8621aede42f909d11c35853aaafd8

Yes, it’s a light up balloon sax. Perfect for a party featuring jazz music.

47. A snow queen should always look resplendent.

97d81883542dcaa795f307e2d351b63f

Yes, it’s another balloon dress. But I think you’ll see it again when Lady Gaga wears it at an awards ceremony.

48. You never know what can come from the rainbow.

98cb246ef0cb7ad1e0db1bc4710d4672

Includes cats and a large swan. Makes you want to be there.

49. Care for an inflatable Easter basket?

210dd21de554f2c4e538883cdf6323cd

Includes a bunny, eggs, and daffodils. So cute.

50. Would you like a cup of coffee?

342cc6e64f25c746ad7d831f0c4c52d3

Well, it’s quite small enough to put on a table. And it’s always steaming hot.

51. “All we are saying is give peace a chance.”

344ef439bf7f43d150e90d70b61e33be

Nice how it’s all in rainbow colors. So pretty.

52. This little leopard wants to be your friend.

420d7bc59b52da3e03d59f4ac0036d46

Don’t worry, it won’t bite you. Since it’s all made out of rubber anyway.

53. Hope you don’t forget your friendly neighborhood Spiderman.

0000436_spiderman

Yes, it’s a balloon Spiderman. Hope he’s there for Stan Lee’s funeral.

54. Nothing makes a great gift like a fancy inflatable bouquet.

528ac1e0fdaae6350356b546e4e0db1c

This one has pink flowers inside the vase. Love the gold and black checks on it, too.

55. Perhaps you’d like a big fancy pink cake.

555ddfbf18bbdd2b15f1a2bb3170a811

Has an array of candles on top. But I especially love the purple roses on the bottom tier.

56. The Dark Knight will always protect Gotham City.

608a54194cd021f353f3b8d7f6fa9a93

Not sure what Batman would think about his balloon likeness. Because he doesn’t seem like a balloon kind of guy.

57. An inflated owl is one you don’t want to mess with.

706e0c4222822b9197e19594b0a7c6ee

Contains a lot of mice for some reason. Mostly because owls usually eat them.

58. Deadpool always knows how to blow.

745de20596c2d1141c29ebeda019b473

Yes, there’s a balloon Deadpool. And I’m sure Ryan Reynolds doesn’t know what to think about it.

59. Want to make anchor?

754cb058e48128cc39d6f008ed50915e

This one is blue with a white chain. But it won’t sink to the bottom since it’s made from balloons.

60. Behold, the mask of Pharaoh Tutankhamen.

807ca08fc33446c7f6e7d82a6d88008f

Okay, it’s a balloon likeness of King Tut. An Egyptian pharaoh who gave his life for tourism.

61. Would you like a strawberry milkshake?

843bdda9157d9fbd8d6ef46f78319fca

Okay, it’s a balloon milkshake you can’t drink out of. But it comes with whipped cream and a cherry on top.

62. Wonder what this golden design is supposed to be.

01365bb548acd99aa7397330e29edd45

It’s either a trophy or a fancy golden flower. Can’t tell which.

63. Anyone would want to hold this little bunny rabbit.

3981c852582a785f6581d7d2eb0b5318

Seems like something you can hold in your hand. But keep it away from sharp objects or it will deflate. So cute.

64. “Who you’re gonna call?”

5783efdc5194b7ccae4a40393c4ba5ec

This is a Ghostbusters balloon display. Though I’m sure one of the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man has to be around somewhere.

65. Any queen would love to have this inflated crown.

8043b72ae843396704c6903a5238fb15

Even has purple flowers near the top. So pretty. Love it.

66. Don’t want to run into this creature from the deep.

25579_418200932094_715577094_5796634_3829928_n1

Indeed, this is a balloon shark. And yes, it looks pretty awesome.

67. Hope you can stand the glare of the rainbow sun.

30286a7dca36e24f873d515a23975731

Well, its rays go into all directions. But the whole display is easy to pick up.

68. A large colorful butterfly should be there to greet you.

411802fd34f3a5736ced0c866290fdaf

Here it is on the front door. While the other balloons near the stairs are flowers.

69. Nobody could resist a sweet little walrus like this.

514101e6ae8e093766513aa94c25aa0f

it even has whiskers and tusks. So adorable. Want to give it a fish?

70. Of course, you can’t forget the iconic Marilyn Monroe.

786618ce3fbdb7df714630b47c28ca6e

She has her dress rising up from The Seven Year Itch. So don’t look up her skirt.

71. “Smokey, my friend, you are entering a world of pain.”

922740a1add7121ee239382307765010

Yes, they have balloon characters from The Big Lebowski. Though some might think this Walter one is a bit over the line.

72. Sometimes you have to fly like an Egyptian goddess.

1598784_orig

This one is pretty elaborate. Love her golden wings. Hope her name’s not Isis since that name’s become associated with a terrorist group.

73. Perhaps this guy can scare the crows for you.

2295226d10483a6c8d47253adcf0bf30

Well, it’s a balloon scarecrow that’s not so scary. Even has a balloon crow in its arm.

74. Bet you wouldn’t guess who this Disney princess is.

4427260f74f294916817c33b4b5282ac

It’s Snow White by the way. And yes, her head is bigger than the rest of her body.

75. Perhaps you might want to spend some time under the sea.

7845705_orig

Seems like the octopus dominates the display. Yet, you’ll find a mermaid sitting on a rock.

76. Feel in the mood for an elephant ride?

9502064_orig

It’s an Indian elephant since you can’t tame an African one. Still, you have to love it in balloons.

77. Want a hot air balloon ride?

14915675_10153882257496384_1627560267737036601_n

Can even fit 5 people inside a balloon basket. Love the rainbow on the balloon. So pretty.

78. Sometimes we can all use a nap.

27892284be61b9452b042347e2275885

Yes, it’s a balloon hammock. Though I’m not sure if I want to lie down on that.

79. Seems like there’s life out there after all.

48690675-inflated-balloon-sculpture-of-an-alien-inside-the-clear-cockpit-of-a-gray-spaceship-flying-through-o

Okay, it’s a balloon alien in a flying saucer. Yet, its head almost takes the whole window.

80. Hope this lamppost can light your way home.

94407542e95cf9e1efbbf5dfc424d8c6

Sure it’s a lamp post made out of balloons. Yet, it lights up at a party.

81. You can stun at a party in this long black dress.

957629076bef35ffe0494b0a664c5d89

Even has pink lace at the bottom. Hope she doesn’t sit on anything sharp.

82. Perhaps you’d think this is a fitting knightly tapestry.

1405710017-0

Well, this is certainly spot on. Like the knight on his horse slaying a purple dragon.

83. Two swans can always enjoy a pond by themselves.

33267942613_217b48f340_b

Indeed, it’s a balloon display. But you have to love the weeping willow in the background.

84. Don’t you just love a rainbow?

1438393947196

Well, the rainbow is even in a heart in this display. And among a background of clouds.

85. Perhaps you’d like to see a dinosaur with flowers.

a5e1af08c591a4ebca53c219f1f04a47

Well, it’s a purple stegosaurus holding flowers. So adorable though.

86. You can find plenty of flowers growing on this well.

a693c8d8052e9d1cc32117d6eec8dd37

But don’t put a coin and make a wish. Since it’s not a wishing well.

87. Sometimes you’ll find a magical world underwater.

a52003c40bc60ccb31927bab685f7317

You’ll find seahorses and plenty of fish. So amazing if you ask me.

88. At a wedding, it’s customary for rings to be intertwined.

b2cdb8dfcee18f97bd2764b56dd16dae

Yes, these are balloon wedding rings. And they’re touched with red roses.

89. There is so much to love about a heart shaped coach.

b7c1b5cbd451dd012faf918bb5766ead

And I guess this is for a wedding. Comes with wheels trimmed in gold.

90. This guy can cut anything with this giant pair of scissors.

b56224ce3162150425131b7c76fee3e5

Actually, I don’t think he can cut anything. Because the scissors are inflated with balloons.

91. Did you take anything from the toucan?

b67446eb798a4c0013f1c65b1e3e8898

While it may seem quite sophisticated, you can’t help but love it. So cute.

92. As beauty, Belle holds a rose in a tale as old as time.

balloon princess sculpture face

Though she didn’t wear a crown in Beauty and the Beast. But she’s so pretty.

93. This lizard is as cool as a cucumber.

balloon-3

I think it’s supposed to be a balloon iguana. As it sits on its own branch.

94. Hope you can stand with pride for this stars and stripes.

balloon-american-flag

Sure it’s made with balloons. But you can see the stars in the blue section.

95. Apparently, he intends to eat Thanksgiving dinner all by himself.

Balloon-Art-Dinner-600x600

After all, he only has a large knife and fork. Still, this is kind of amusing.

96. You’ll find a great bounty in this cornucopia.

balloon-cornucopia

And yes, it’s filled with all kinds of fruit and veggies. Still, in the Hunger Games, the cornucopia has a way different meeting.

97. A phoenix can always rise out of the ashes.

balloons-1

This one even has 3 tail feathers. Though don’t put it near fire.

98. Try getting a gumball from this candy machine.

balloon-sculpture-10

Though you’ll need a big coin. And you’ll probably get a balloon instead.

99. Hope you can hear these herald angels sing.

balloon-sculptures-1

Yes, they’re Christmas angels. But you have to love their smiles and candy canes.

100. You’d swear this balloon display is a work of art.

BOV_larry-moss

This is a takeoff of Sandro Botticelli’s The Birth of Venus in balloons. And yes, it includes nudity like the original.

From Russia with Donald Trump

flat,550x550,075,f.u7

As of 2018, we don’t know whether the Trump campaign willingly colluded with Russia in its efforts to undermine the 2016 election. But we do know that Russia hacked into DNC emails and spread fake news propaganda on social networks to help Donald Trump. We know the Russians wanted Trump to win and did whatever they could to accomplish that. We know the Trump campaign was at least okay with the Russian hacking and efforts. Hell, one Trump campaign official even drunkenly bragged about the Russians hacking into Hillary Clinton’s emails. And we know that several Trumpworld figures have corresponded with Russian hackers, Russian oligarchs, and people with ties to the Russian government. Furthermore, Trump has praised Russian President Vladimir Putin in his speeches, even when he’s every opportunity to criticize the Kremlin dictator. Though collusion hasn’t been proven, what we do know of Trumpworld’s connections with Russia gives us a reasonable case for Robert Mueller to investigate.

On November 9, 2016, just a minutes after Donald Trump was elected president of the United States, a man named Vyacheslav Nikonov made a very unusual statement in the Russian State Duma. “Dear friends, respected colleagues!” he said. “Three minutes ago, Hillary Clinton admitted her defeat in US presidential elections, and a second ago Trump started his speech as an elected president of the United States of America, and I congratulate you on this.” Since Nikonov is the leader of the pro-Putin United Russia Party, his announcement that day was a clear signal that Trump’s victory was a victory for Putin’s Russia.

Longtime journalist Craig Unger has attempted to gather all the evidence we have of Donald Trump’s connections to the Russian mafia and government and lay it all out in a clear, comprehensive narrative in his book, House of Trump, House of Putin: The Untold Story of Donald Trump and the Russian Mafia. Though the book claims to tell the “untold story,” it’s not entirely unclear of how much is new. Because like a lot of the skeletons in Trump’s gilded closet, one of the hardest things to accept about the Trump-Russia saga is how transparent it is. In fact, so much evidence hides in plain sight, and somehow that’s made it more difficult to accept. In his book, Unger names 59 Russians as Trump business associates and follows the purported financial links between them and the Trump Organization, going back decades. Many of them are quite shady. Although Unger doesn’t provide any evidence that Trump gave Russia anything concrete in return for their help, the case he makes for how much potential leverage the Russians have over Trump is damning. In fact, Unger thinks Russia’s use of Trump constitutes “one of the greatest intelligence operations in history,” as he puts in his book.

As Craig Unger claims. what most Americans don’t understand is that the Russian mafia is different from the American mafia. While American crime syndicates are often targets for FBI investigation, the mafia is essentially a state actor in Russia. When asked about the mafia, former KGB Russian counterintelligence operations Gen. Oleg Kalugin told Unger, “Oh, it’s part of the KGB. It’s part of the Russian government.” In Russia, there’s no Wall Street or anything like Goldman Sachs. After the collapse of the Soviet Union, rich gangsters and government officials were able to privatize and loot state-held assets in coal, oil, minerals, and banking. In Vladmir Putin’s Russia, criminal syndicates have become increasingly intertwined with its intelligence services, blurring the line between mafia dons and spies. In fact, Russia expert Mark Galeotti would agree with Unger since he wrote in his book, The Vory: Russia’s Super Mafia that Putin’s Kremlin consolidated power by “not simply taming, but absorbing, the underworld.” Putin didn’t care what these gangsters did as long as they strengthened his power and personal financial interests. Since the 1990s, its estimated that some $1.3 trillion has flowed out of Russia.

1_TPTcHJWkZQdqEhX7szGQwQ

Semion Mogilevich is one of the richest and most influential gangsters in the world. Known as the ultimate Russian mob boss, he may not have any direct connection to Donald Trump. But many of his associates and underlings do.

One of the key mob bosses is the squat Ukranian Semion Mogilevich. In Russia, he’s a big time Russian crime boss with a multibillion empire and a wide range of crimes that will make Al Capone look like an inept convenience store robber. According to the FBI, Mogilevich started out as the key money-laundering contact for the Solntsevskaya Bratva, or Brotherhood, one of the richest criminal syndicates in the world. Craig Unger believed that he could’ve been the CEO of Goldman Sachs if he was born in America. The FBI considers Mogilevich the “boss of bosses” of the Russian mafia who’s even feared by his fellow gangsters as “the most powerful mobster in the world.” He’s run drug trafficking rings at an international scale. He’s used a jewelry business in Moscow and Budapest as a front for art that Russian gangsters stole from museums, churches, and synagogues all over Europe. He’s even been accused of selling $20 million in stolen weapons to Iran. From what the FBI has on him, Mogilevich has laundered money through more than 100 front companies around the world and held bank accounts in at least 27 countries. Mogilevich is famous for designing elaborate financial schemes that are extremely difficult, even possible to detect. Since the planning and setup can take years and involve a wide range of people in various positions of power whose roles/identities are sometimes never discovered. In Russia, his influence reaches all the way to the top. Ex-Russian spy, Alexander Litvinenko said in an interview with investigators in 2005, “Mogilevich have good relationship with Putin since 1994 or 1993.” A year later Litvinenko was dead, suspiciously poisoned by Kremlin agents. Many of the Russian mobsters who bought units from Donald Trump have ties to this man.

According to Craig Unger, it probably all began as a money-laundering operation with the Russian mafia. After all, anyone who’s known about Donald Trump for a long time knows that he likes doing business with gangsters. Partly because they pay top dollar and loan money when traditional banks won’t. Essentially, for more than 30 years Trump was working with the Russian mafia. He profited from them. They rescued and bailed him out, taking him from being $4 billion in debt to becoming a multibillionaire again. And they fueled his political ambitions. And since Trump had worked with the Russian mafia, he was in bed with the Kremlin as well, whether he knew it or not.

criminals-flock-to-trump-tower

This is a chart of the Russian-linked and notorious criminals who lived and worked at Trump Tower. Since the place has been the HQ for money laundering operations and more. Helps that during the 1980s, it was the only high-rise to accept anonymous buyers.

To Craig Unger’s knowledge, the very first documented episode he could find was in 1984 when a man named David Bogatin met with Donald Trump in Trump Tower right after it opened since it was the only high-rise in New York City at the time to accept anonymous buyers. Now Bogatin is a Russian mobster, convicted gasoline bootlegger, and close ally of major Russian mob boss and king of money launderers Semion Mogilevich. Anyway, Bogatin came to that meeting prepared to spend $6 million which is equivalent to $15 million today. At that meeting, he bought 5 condos, which the Kremlin later seized on claims they were used to launder money for the Russian mob. We don’t exactly know what was in Trump’s head at the time or what he knew. But Unger has documented 1,300 transactions of this kind with Russian mobsters. These real estate transactions were all cash purchases made by anonymous shell companies that were obviously fronts for criminal money-laundering operations. By the early 2000s, 1/3 of the buyers of Trump Tower’s most expensive condos were either Russia-linked shell companies or individuals from the former Soviet Union. In Florida, about 63 Russian buyers spent at least $98 on Trump properties while another 1/3 of the units were bought by shell companies. Since this represents a large chunk of Trump’s real estate activity in the United States, it’s difficult to argue he had no idea what was going on. Aside from Bogatin, there’s his brother Yakov, who was involved in an elaborate stock fraud with Mogilevich. Two of Trump’s Sunny Isles buyers Anatoly Golubchik and Michael Sall were convicted of taking part in a massive international gambling and money laundering syndicate run out of the New York Trump Tower.

Another Trump buyer was an Uzbek mob-connected diamond dealer named Eduard Nektalov. At the time, Nektalov was under investigation by a Treasury Department task force for mob-connected money laundering. He bought a condo in midtown Manhattan’s Trump World Tower on the 79th floor, directly below Kellyanne Conway. A month later, he sold his unit for $500,000 profit. The next year after rumors circulated of him cooperating with federal investigators, Nektalov was gunned down on Sixth Avenue.

In 1991, Semion Mogilevich paid a Russian judge to spring fellow mob boss Vyachelsav Kirillovich Ivankov, from a Siberian gulag. In Russia, Ivankov was infamous for torturing his victims and boasting about murders he arranged. After his release, Ivankov headed to New York City on an illegal business visa. Once there, he bought a Rolls Royce dealership to use “as a front to launder criminal proceeds.” One of Ivankov’s partners in the operation was Felix Komarov, an upscale art dealer who lived in Trump Plaza on Third Avenue. After receiving a briefcase filled with $1.5 million in cash, over the next 3 years, Ivankov oversaw the mob’s growth from a local extortion racket to a multibillion dollar enterprise. According to the FBI, he recruited 2 “combat brigades” of Special Forces veterans from the Soviet war in Afghanistan to run the mafia’s protection racket and kill his enemies. Feds later found out that Ivankov made frequent visit to Trump Taj Mahal in Atlantic City, New Jersey, where Russian gangsters routinely laundered huge sums of money. So much that it was repeatedly cited by the Treasury Department’s Financial Crimes Enforcement Network for having inadequate money-laundering controls. And in 2015, was fined $10 million and admitted for having “willfully violated” anti-money-laundering regulations for years. The also found that he lived in a luxury condo at Trump Tower. Though despite being Donald Trump’s neighbor, there’s no evidence they knew each other personally. But the fact a top Russian mafia boss lived and worked in Trump’s building shows just how much high-level Russian gangsters saw Trump’s properties as a home away from home.

Then there’s Russian mob leader Alimzhan Tokhtakhounov who ran an entire gambling and money-laundering network out of Unit 63A at Trump Tower (which is 3 floors below Donald Trump’s residence). In fact, Tokhtakhounov was a VIP attendee at Trump’s 2013 Miss Universe Pageant in Moscow just 7 months after the FBI busted his gambling rings and rounded up 29 suspects. The operation, which prosecutors called “the world’s largest sports book,” was run out of Trump Tower condos, including the building’s whole 51st floor. In addition, Unit 63A served as “sophisticated money-laundering scheme” moving an estimated $100 million out of the former Soviet Union, through shell companies in Cyprus, and into investments in the United States. According to the federal indictment, the money launderers paid Tokhtakhounov $10 million. A decade earlier, Tokhtakhounov was indicted for conspiring to fix the ice-skating competition at the 2002 Winter Olympics and was the only suspect to avoid arrest.

Russian mobsters and oligarchs also had ties to some of Donald Trump’s other properties outside the United States. In November 2017, NBC News reported Trump’s Panama hotel had ties to organized crime. While a Russian state-owned bank under US sanctions helped finance the construction of the 65-story Trump International Hotel and Tower in Toronto. And in December 2016, Jared Kushner met with that bank’s CEO. Since this represents a large chunk of Trump’s real estate activity in the United States, it’s difficult to argue he had no idea what was going on.

But how did Donald Trump become a “person of interest” to the Russians over 30 years ago, before his ascent to the presidency was even fathomable? It’s actually not as strange as it seems. First of all, Russians have always wanted to align with certain powerful businessman. Nor was Trump the only guy they targeted. For the Russians have a history going back to the American businessman Armand Hammer during the 1970s-80s who they turned into an asset. In fact, Russia had hundreds of agents and assets in the US. According to Gen. Kalugin, the US was a paradise for spies and they had recruited roughly 300 agents and assets in the country. Trump was one of them.

Nor were Russian operations just limited to money laundering for there was a parallel effort to seduce Donald Trump. Sometime in 1986, Russia’s ambassador to the US, Yuri Dubinin visited Trump in Trump Tower, said that his building was “fabulous,” suggested that he should build one in Moscow, and they arranged for a trip to the Russian capital. According to Gen. Kalugin, this was likely the first step in the process to recruit and compromise Trump, which they probably succeed with flying colors. Since Trump is a sucker for flattery. So we shouldn’t be the least surprised if the Russians have compromising materials on Trump’s Moscow activities. Since they’re very good at acquiring compromising stuff on just about anyone. Not that it would be hard for them.

untitled

Here’s a picture of Donald Trump with Tevfik Artif and Felix Sater. Artif would be busted for running a prostitution ring on his boat in Turkey. While Sater served as an informant while doing his Russia-linked dirty deeds to avoid prison time for racketeering.

Though we don’t have evidence whether such compromising material on Donald Trump’s Moscow activities exists and Craig Unger has tried but couldn’t find any corroboration from several people who assured him it does. But that’s all beside the point. Since Unger believes that the real evidence is already out there in the form of the Bayrock Group, a real estate development company located on Trump Tower’s 24th floor. The founder was a Kazakh man named Tevfik Arif while the managing director was Felix Sater. In 2005, Bayrock proceeded to partner with Trump and helped him develop a new business model he desperately needed. Because Trump was $4 billion in debt after his Atlantic City casinos went bankrupt that he couldn’t get a bank loan from anywhere in the West. Bayrock came in with a new business model that says, “You don’t have to raise any money. You don’t have to do any of the real estate development. We just want to franchise your name, we’ll give you 18 to 25 percent royalties, and we’ll effectively do all the work. And if the Trump Organization gets involved in the management of these buildings, they’ll get extra fees for that.” Apparently, Trump found the idea fabulously lucrative. Meanwhile, the Bayrock associates (particularly Sater) operated out of Trump Tower as well as constantly flew back and forth to Russia. In his book, Unger detailed several channels through which various people at Bayrock have close ties to the Kremlin. While he talked about Sater’s trips to Moscow even as late as 2016, hoping to build Trump Tower there.

Yet, Bayrock and its deals became quickly mired in controversy. First, Forbes and other publications reported that the company was financed by a notoriously corrupt group known as the Trio. In 2010, Turkish prosecutors arrested Tevfik Arif on charges of setting up a prostitution ring after found aboard his boat with 9 young women, 2 of whom were 16 years old. He was later acquitted since the women refused to talk. That same year, 2 former Bayrock executives filed a lawsuit alleging Artif started a firm “backed by oligarchs and money they stole from the Russian people.” In addition, the suit alleged Bayrock “was substantially and covertly mob-owned and operated.” According to them, the company’s real purpose was to develop expensive properties bearing the Trump brand and use the projects to launder money and evade taxes. Though the suit doesn’t claim that Donald Trump was complicit in the scam, The Financial Times found that Trump SoHo had “multiple ties to an alleged international money-laundering network.” In one case, a former Kazakh energy minister is being sued in federal court for conspiring to “systematically loot hundreds of millions of dollars of public assets” before purchasing three condos in Trump SoHo to launder his “ill-gotten funds.”

bloomberg-trump-associate-felix-sater-allegedly-swindled-holocaust-survivors

Donald Trump has often denied his association with Felix Sater. Yet, in reality, the two have been quite close as this business card shows.

During his collaboration with Bayrock, Donald Trump became close to the man who ran the firm’s daily operations, Felix Sater. Sater had numerous ties to Russian oligarchs and Russian intelligence. His father was a boss for Semion Mogilevich who was convicted for extorting local restaurants, grocery stores, and a medical clinic. Sater tried making it as a stockbroker. But his career came to an end in 1991 when he stabbed a Wall Street foe in the face with a broken margarita glass during a bar fight, opening wounds requiring 110 stitches. He then lost his trading license over the attack and served a year in prison. In 1998, Sater pleaded guilty to racketeering on grounds of operating a “pump and dump” stock fraud partnership with alleged Russian mobsters that bilked investors of at least $40 million. To avoid prison time, Sater turned informer. But according to documents from the lawsuit against Bayrock, he also resumed “his old tricks.” By 2003, the suit alleges, Sater controlled the majority of Bayrock shares and proceeded to use the firm to launder hundreds of millions of dollars while skimming and extorting millions more. In addition, the suit claimed that Sater committed fraud by concealing his racketeering and that he threatened “to kill anyone at the firm he thought knew of the crimes committed there and might report it.”

By Felix Sater’s account in sworn testimony, he was very tight with Donald Trump. He flew to Colorado with him. He accompanied Donald Jr. And Ivanka on a trip to Moscow at Trump’s invitation. And he met with Trump’s inner circle “constantly.” In Trump Tower, he often dropped by Trump’s office to pitch business ideas. Trump and his lawyers claim he wasn’t aware of Sater’s checkered past when he signed on to do business with Bayrock. This is plausible since Sater’s plea deal in the stock fraud was kept secred due to his role as an informant. But even after The New York Times revealed Sater’s criminal record in 2007, Sater kept using office space provided by the Trump Organization. In 2010, he received a Trump Organization business card reading: FELIX H. SATER, SENIOR ADVISOR TO DONALD TRUMP. As of 2017, Sater apparently remains close to Trump’s inner circle. One week before National Security Adviser Michael Flynn was fired for failing to report meetings with Russian officials, Trump’s personal attorney Michael Cohen hand-delivered a “back channel plan” for lifting sanctions on Russia to Flynn’s office. According to the Times, the co-author was Felix Sater.

Nonetheless, like many of Donald Trump’s business projects, his deals with Bayrock didn’t bear fruit. International projects in Russia and Poland never materialized. A Trump Tower being built in Ft. Lauderdale ran out of money before completion, leaving behind a massive concrete shell. Trump SoHo was ultimately foreclosed and resold. But Trump’s Russian investors left him with a high-profile property he could leverage since he and Ivanka are still listed as managers. And it’s said he made $3 million from it in 2015.

But is there any evidence that Donald Trump actively sought out Russian money by making clear that his businesses could be used to hide ill-gotten gains? According to Craig Unger, it’s difficult to say. Because he’s not sure if Trump had to. From how the Russian mob transactions took place, Trump didn’t have to say anything. After all, the Trump Organization was desperate for money and knew the caliber of people they were dealing with. So they were either okay with this or deliberately chose not to do their due diligence. Other real estate developers may do this as well, but they usually don’t become president of the United States.

Donald Trump seems much more motivated by money than political ideology. But was his drift into politics in any way influenced by his financial entanglements? There’s no clear answer. Yet, Craig Unger told Vox one weird anecdote about Trump’s first wife, Ivana, whom he married in 1977. Apparently, Czech secret police had started following her and her family in the late 1980s and one of their files said that Trump was being pressured to run for president. But what does that mean? Who was pressuring him and why? How were they applying the pressure? And did it have anything to do with potentially compromising materials the Russians had on Trump during his 1987 trip to Moscow? What we do know is that when Trump returned from his first Moscow trip, he took out full-page ads in the Washington Post, New York Times, and Boston Globe which pushed anti-European and anti-NATO views that were aligned with the Soviet plan to destroy the Western alliance. Whether he always believed such things or not, it’s worth noting.

Now Craig Unger didn’t go to Russia for obvious reasons given how Vladimir Putin tends to murder critical reporters. But most of what he found out came from public sources, which is stunning. One of his sources tipped him off on the high-ranking Russian mob boss Semion Mogilevich, whom he had never heard of before. He’s even been accused of selling $20 million in stolen weapons to Iran. Anyway, that led Unger to an online database revealing home ownership in the state of New York, along with purchases and sales. So he went to the Trump properties. Every time Unger found a Russian name, he’d research it. He’d take their name and Mogilevich in Google and as he told Vox, “it was like hitting the jackpot on a slot machine, time after time after time.” Among the Russians Unger found on the Trump property listings, there were countless people either indicted on money laundering or gunned down on Sixth Avenue. He also found a huge percentage with criminal histories, which sort of got him started. He also had a research assistant who spoke Russian and helped him break the language barrier for him.

But does Craig Unger’s book about Donald Trump and Russia offer anything new? Well, the insights Unger gained from Gen. Kalugin were completely new. Yet, most of what he did was compile what was out there but haven’t been pieced together. For instance, he found a lot of the Russian-connected stories published in the crime pages of the New York Post and the New York Daily News. These were just straight-up crime stories you’d see in a tabloid. After all, Americans don’t think crime stories involving the Russian mob would have any geopolitical implications or forces behind it. Nevertheless, many of these seemingly random Russian crime stories appearing in the tabloids again and again was connected to a much larger operation ensnaring Trump and the people around him.

Still, even if Donald Trump has no idea how many deals he and his businesses made with Russian investors, he certainly didn’t “stay away” from Russia. After all, he and his organization have aggressively promoted his business there for decades, seeking to entice investors and buyers for some of his most high-profile developments. Whether he knew it or not, Russian mobsters and corrupt oligarchs used his properties not only to launder vast sums of money from extortion, drugs, gambling, and racketeering, but even as a base for their criminal activities. In the process, they propped up Trump’s business and enabled him to reinvent his image. Without the Russian mafia, Trump wouldn’t be president of the United States.

However, if Donald Trump is a Russian asset, he’s not the only one targeted. During the 1980s and 1990s, the US government saw a pattern by which criminals used condos to launder money. As former Clinton official Jonathan Winer told The New Republic, “It didn’t matter that you paid too much, because the real estate values would rise, and it was a way of turning dirty money into clean money. It was done very systematically, and it explained why there are so many high-rises where the units were sold but no one is living in them.” One of the things Craig Unger’s book shows is that there’s a new kind of global war going on in which the weapons are information, data, social media, and financial institutions. The Russian mafia is only one weapon in this global conflict and the Russians have been smartly fighting it since the fall of the Soviet Union. The Russians start businesses and front companies and commodities firms appearing legitimate but essentially work to advance the Russian state’s interests. Many of today’s Russian oligarchs seek to portray themselves as unremarkable businessmen, preferring that their life-and-death struggles for riches in the 1990s fade into history. Yet, as their influence in the west grows, it becomes more important to understand any links to the authoritarians and kleptocrats back home. The Russians are very good at getting people financially entangled and then using that leverage to get what they want. This appears what the Russians have done with Trump and now he’s president. As former top official Elsie Bean told The Financial Times, “Russia has long been associated with dirty money. Anyone getting substantial funds originating in the former Soviet Union should have known that the funds were high risk and required a careful due diligence review to ensure the money was clean.”

Nonetheless, the most troubling part of all this is that the Russians simply exploited our own corrupt system. The studied our pay-to-play culture, found its weak spots, and very carefully manipulated it. As long as our culture remains unchanged, we should expect this kind of exploitation. Sometimes the worst part about a scandal is what’s legal. The Russians studied our campaign system and campaign finance law and masterfully exploited it. They’ve used pharmaceutical companies, energy companies, and financial institutions to pour money into politics. And we really have no idea the extent of their influence. Vladimir Putin may be right in his insistence that American democracy is also corrupt while he’s showing us exactly how screwed up it is. Donald Trump is just the most glaring example. But there are others, most of who we don’t know anything about.

Whether you believe Donald Trump is owned by the Russian mob or not, Craig Unger presents a compelling case in his book. Though some of his statements in issues might read like conspiracy theories, but so much of it makes a lot of sense. Besides, Unger isn’t the only guy who thinks the Russian mafia owns Trump. Nor Trump is the only prominent figure with shady Russian ties as you can see within his administration. Nor is the Trump Organization the only entity. Trump’s longtime personal lawyer Michael Cohen had an uncle who owned a Brooklyn catering hall called El Caribe, which “for decades was the scene of mob weddings and Christmas parties,” and housed offices of “two of New York’s most notorious Russian mobsters.” Then there’s the matter with the NRA receiving money from 23 Russian donors during the 2016 campaign. Not to mention, Rep. Dana Rohrbacher was considered “Putin’s favorite congressman” long before Trump ran for president and was instrumental in killing some critical anti-Russian legislation. Thankfully, he’s lost to a Democrat this year. We may not know whether the Trump campaign colluded with Russia or the full extent of the Trump-Russian relationship. But as with many aspects of Trump’s business practices, what we know is damning. There is no doubt that Trump has taken Russian money. And when Trump receives millions of dollars from someone, he’s more likely to be beholden to them. But that doesn’t mean Trump is loyal to them, because he’s just as likely to drop his Russian backers once they prove no longer useful. Since Trump’s true loyalty is only to himself. So we must be concerned.

The Coming Saturday Night Massacre

There are times when moments you long wait for don’t always taste so sweet as you’d think they would be. On November 7, 2018, Donald Trump asked Attorney General Jeff Sessions to resign, ending the longtime Alabama senator’s nearly 2 years running the Department of Justice. Now you’d think this would be a good thing. After all, Sessions is so racist that Coretta Scott King wrote a letter to the US Senate not to confirm him as a federal judge during the 1980s. And as attorney general, Sessions pulled back federal oversight of local police departments. He’s moved to prosecute anyone who illegally crosses the US-Mexico border, regardless of the conditions they’re facing back home, while pushing immigration judges to take on more deportation cases. And he’s even rescinded previous limitations on harsh mandatory minimum prison sentences for low-level drug offenses, and asked prosecutors to consider the death penalty in some drug trafficking cases. Furthermore, Sessions was an early Trump ally and a true believer with his boss on practically every single issue the Justice Department oversees whether it’s policing, immigration, prisons, or voting rights, all of which make up key parts of Trumpism. And because he so much embodied Trumpism is why I am happy to see him go. And it’s deliciously ironic that Trump removed one of his most loyal foot soldiers, which could imperil many parts of Trump’s agenda.

However, despite how it’s a spectacular blow to Trumpism, we shouldn’t celebrate Jeff Sessions’ firing. In fact, we should be very alarmed by it since the reason for his ouster is quite scary. In Donald Trump’s eyes, the ousted attorney general committed an unforgivable sin and act of betrayal that saw his ouster as a long time coming. For months, Trump has expressed anger which has prompted repeated questions about how long the attorney general would last. After all, Sessions has previously offered to resign at least once, which Trump refused to accept. But he’s also become Trump’s punching bag who’s had to endure tons of abuse all because he recused himself from the probe into whether the Trump campaign colluded with Russia, when it came out he had met with then- Russian ambassador to the US, Sergei Kislyak. This set the stage for the appointment of special counsel Robert Mueller by Deputy Attorney General Rod Rosenstein who has repeatedly declined to fire him even at Trump’s request. Trump has also complained that Sessions wasn’t sufficiently loyal because, since then he’s failed to prevent Mueller from indicting a growing number of Trump confidantes and targeting others. Trump’s anger also transferred another gripe that Sessions wouldn’t investigate connections between Hillary Clinton and Russia during the 2016 presidential campaign. And in February 2018, Trump complained that Sessions wouldn’t corroborate his unfounded belief in the existence of a widespread conspiracy theory, led by federal law enforcement personnel to undermine his candidacy during the 2016 presidential election. Because Trump believes that the FBI tricked the Foreign Intelligence Surveillance Court (FISC) to surveil former campaign member, Carter Page, based on a Democrat-connected Steele dossier. Yet, none of this is true. For one, the FBI investigation into the Trump campaigns Russian connections began when Trump aide George Papadopoulos drunkenly bragged about getting Clinton dirt from the Russians to an Australian ambassador. Second, surveilling Page was justified with ample evidence beyond the so-called “Steele Dossier” and was renewed several times by appointed judges all appointed by GOP presidents and selected for FISC duty by Chief Supreme Court Justice John Roberts. Because they deemed the ongoing surveillance as fruitful. Now Mueller is currently investigating whether Trump’s alleged efforts to push Sessions out formed part of an endeavor to obstruct the probe, which would be a potentially criminal offense.

Now when a cabinet member resigns, you’d normally expect the Department No. 2 to take over in an acting capacity until a president hires a permanent replacement. In Sessions’ case, that should be Deputy Attorney General Rod Rosenstein. But Trump hates him since he’s overseeing the Mueller probe, has refused to fire Mueller, and doesn’t really care much about politics. So Trump tweeted that Sessions’ chief of staff, Matthew Whitaker would take over as acting DOJ head and will oversee the Mueller probe for the time being. Still, the fact he could either let Mueller do what he’s doing, curtail, or shut down the investigation should concern you. After all, Whitaker’s name cropped up in September as a replacement for Rosenstein when he appeared on the verge of getting fired himself. A former Iowa attorney, he’s the “eyes and ears” in the Justice Department, according to the New York Times. He’s also a fiscal and social conservative who unsuccessfully ran for the US Senate in 2014. Yet, what’s the most disturbing about Whitaker is that he was paid to sit on the advisory board of World Patent Marketing, which was ordered to pay a $26 million following federal legal action on allegations it tricked aspiring inventors into paying thousands of dollars to obtain patents and licensing deals for their inventions. As federal authorities noted, they “failed to fulfill almost every promise they make to consumers.” According to court filings, Whitaker received payments of $1,875 from the Florida-based company and sent a threatening email to a scam victim who complained to the Better Business Bureau, where he cited his former role as a federal prosecutor.

Still, why would Donald Trump tap in Matthew Whitaker as a temporary replacement for Jeff Sessions? Because while Whitaker aligns with Trump and Sessions on issues regarding crime and immigration, he comes with an added perk of having criticized the Mueller probe. In fact, Whitaker has expressed skepticism about the Mueller probe before joining the Trump administration as Sessions’ chief of staff in the fall of 2017. In August he wrote a CNN op-ed blasting the investigation which stated, “Mueller has come up to a red line in the Russia 2016 election-meddling investigation that he is dangerously close to crossing. If he were to continue to investigate the [Trump family’s] financial relationships without a broadened scope in his appointment, then this would raise serious concerns that the special counsel’s investigation was a mere witch hunt.” In July of that year, he appeared on CNN offering his own take on how an acting attorney general could sideline Mueller. He said, “I could see a scenario where Jeff Sessions is replaced with a recess appointment and that attorney general doesn’t fire Bob Mueller, but he just reduces his budget to so low that his investigation grinds to almost a halt.” Beyond this Mueller scrutiny, Whitaker has publicly lambasted Hillary Clinton. While serving head of the Foundation for Accountability and Civic Trust, a right-leaning organization criticizing Democrats on ethics matters, Whitaker said in May 2017 that Clinton should be “extremely grateful” she wasn’t prosecuted for having a private email server. 3 months later, he wrote for The Hill that Clinton’s Ukraine connections were “worth exploring.” And let’s just say when a man dips into Clinton conspiracy theories, you know he shouldn’t be running the Justice Department.

But the truth is with Donald Trump firing Jeff Sessions and replacing him with loyalist Matthew Whitaker should literally scare the shit out of us. Indeed, Sessions was a terrible attorney general and an unapologetic racist sack of shit who’s been rolling back Americans’ civil rights. Granted, I don’t like the guy at all and part of me wants to feel glad to see him go. But while he’d do anything for Trump’s love, there were certain lines he wouldn’t cross. And it’s because Sessions wouldn’t cross them that he’s no longer attorney general. Nonetheless, Sessions’ firing should inspire the same surprise and anger on the level of May 2017’s James Comey firing as head of the FBI, which much of Washington treated as a serious crisis in American democracy. Because both cases have Trump nakedly assert power over an investigation’s direction while sacking people to block oversight into his own conduct.

However, this time, the panic is more muted. While Democrats and some Never Trumpers are objecting, Jeff Sessions’ firing doesn’t have the same earth-shattering impact the Comey firing did. And the fact Donald Trump has been signaling this move for awhile normalized it, routinized it, and made it thinkable. It probably didn’t help he did it the day after Democrats won control of Congress in the midterms. Yet, slowly but surely this is how the threat to American democracy has kept growing during the Trump era. Since actions once considered as inconceivable and abhorrent back in 2016 have become accepted parts of our everyday reality. They’re just facts of life in a country governed by Trump’s Republican Party.

As we know, the Robert Mueller investigation grew out of the firing of FBI Director James Comey as a way of protecting the Trump-Russia investigation from presidential interference. Since Day 1, Donald Trump has been raging against Jeff Sessions for recusing himself from the probe. In addition, he demanded that Sessions either take control of the investigation or resign and let someone else do it. Ever since then, Trump has repeatedly violated the norms of governing the way a president should treat an attorney general and the Justice Department. For Christ’s sake, he admitted that the Comey firing was about the Russia investigation on national television. He’s suggested that the attorney general’s job should be defending the president, not investigating him. He blasted the “Jeff Sessions Justice Department” for bringing charges against Republican members of Congress before the midterms because it might jeopardize Republican chances of holding onto the House. Individually, each of these shatters longstanding norms of how a president is supposed to think and act about the Department of Justice. Yet, it’s harder to muster outrage over each one individually. Though disturbing as these incidents are, no single one constitutes the end of American democracy, or even the DOJ’s independence. But even if these little norm violations don’t make a big difference by themselves, they cumulatively amount to a major change in how a president gets to treat an agency that’s supposed to be a check on his power. The same thing happened, in microcosm with Jeff Sessions’ firing. Trump’s berating of the attorney general in public, the insults, the humiliation weren’t enough to incite intense public outrage. But they served together to construct a new normal when it comes to a president’s relationship with an attorney general. By the time we got to the actual firing and replacement with a loyalist, it felt less like a novel event and more like an inevitable result of an ongoing process. And it’s this what makes Trump’s approach to firing Sessions such a worrying moment.

While it’s difficult to see how American democracy would collapse would look like in practice, Donald Trump’s firing of Attorney General Jeff Sessions shows how democratic backsliding is possible. Since taking office in Hungary in 2010, President Viktor Orban spent the last 8 years setting up a system resembling democracy but isn’t actually one. He didn’t abolished elections, but gerrymandered parliamentary districts and seized control of the civil service administering elections. He didn’t ban the free press, but either bought up critical publications or forced them to sell to government-friendly allies. There was never a specific moment in time when you could say that Hungary wasn’t a democracy. It just evolved over time into something different and unfree. Same thing happened in Venezuela.

Nonetheless, Donald Trump’s firing of Attorney General Jeff Sessions is a serious threat to the health of American institutions. Even if acting Attorney General Matthew Whitaker doesn’t fire Robert Mueller right away, it’s possible he could hamstring the probe behind the scenes with bureaucratic tools like refusing to approve Mueller’s indictments and subpoenas. Indeed, Whitaker has even floated the idea of cutting probe funding. He could run the same playbook of small fights over a major confrontation that helped him assume office without a huge public fuss.

Whether knowingly or not, Donald Trump is exploiting a weakness in the democratic immune system. Democracies depend on a motivated and involved public for their survival. But if politicians only take one small step away from democracy at a time, each one narrow enough to be justifiable by their political allies, then a systematic shift away from democracy and constraints on presidential power never ends up truly galvanizing the opposition. Since if you don’t give anyone a crisis point to rally around, you can get away with a lot. But the slow degradation of institutions and the normalization of an authoritarian approach to politics, makes any warning about a particular development seem out of proportion to the immediate threat. But let’s be honest about the big picture. Along with the public flagellation and eventually firing of Jeff Sessions, Trump’s approach to politics is damaging the foundations of American democracy. Though the Democratic takeover of the House of Representatives is certainly a good thing and will provide a check for Trump, the threats of American democracy can’t be solved with one election. Since they involve big structural problems like polarization of elites and politicians, growing hatred of the opposition party, deep emotional affiliation with one’s own party, and white anxiety over the loss of control over American politics and culture that’s driving authoritarian impulses and conservative polarization within White America and the Republican Party.

Donald Trump of Mar-a-Lago

920x920

From the moment in 1985 when Donald Trump decided to make Mar-a-Lago his personal castle, he has shattered the Palm Beach, Florida old-money conventions with the same thin-skinned, sue-you-in-a-heartbeat, self-congratulatory ethos which has made him such a mesmerizing character akin to a derailed train you want to ignore but can’t look away. As we’ve learned since 2015, you can’t write too much about Trump since he’s a narcissistic sociopath with no moral scruples and way more scandals than Henry VIII. Whether you like him or hate him, you can’t write too much about Trump since he’s an inexhaustible source of good stories.

The last of Palm Beach’s estates to stretch from the Atlantic Ocean to the Intracoastal Waterway, Mar-a-Lago was a single-family of grand design. This Mediterranean-Revival style mansion had 118 rooms, including 58 bedrooms, 33 bathrooms, 35 dining rooms, a ballroom, a theater, a 6 car garage, a 9-hole golf course, 3 bomb shelters, and a 75ft tower you could see for miles. Built in 1927 for cereal heiress and richest woman in America at the time, Marjorie Merriwether Post, she willed it to the federal government for use as a winter White House for American presidents after her death in 1973. Though the home became a National Historic Landmark, presidents didn’t use it while the federal government became sick of paying $1 million a year to maintain it. So the federal government gave the estate back to the Post Foundation who put up for sale for $20 million.

At the time, Donald Trump was a hotshot 39-year-old real estate developer who had opened his 58-story signature Trump Tower skyscraper in Manhattan. Eager to get the Florida mansion off their hands, the Post Foundation agreed to a bargain $10 million sale- $7 million for the property and $3 million for the furnishings and in a contract requiring Trump to only put down $2,812 of his own money. A Palm Beach County property appraiser later wrote in a court brief that anyone buying a “rabbit warren condo” in a lower-middle class neighborhood would’ve had to put more money down than Trump did. Nonetheless, Trump listed his purchase of Mar-a-Lago as an example of his deal-making prowess writing in The Art of the Deal, “I’ve been told the furnishings in Mar-a-Lago alone are worth more than I paid for the house.” Mar-a-Lago was “as close to paradise as I’m going to get.” Palm Beach County agreed by assessing Mar-a-Lago’s property at $11.5 million, which was 64% than he paid for it. This left Trump in a tough position of politically bragging about getting his spare mansion in Palm Beach for a bargain, while privately arguing in court filings he should get a tax deduction. He testified, “I paid the highest price for a piece of land that’s costing $2 or $2 ½ million a year to maintain. Maybe the tax assessment will force us to develop the land, which I’m sure won’t make the town very happy.” Except he didn’t. Furthermore, a 1988 Associated Press article depicts how Trump fought against a $200,000 property tax bill, which he claimed should’ve been half. Nonetheless, back in the 1980s, this was the kind of brash talk Palm Beach’s old-money aristocrats feared from Trump. Since he wasn’t the sort of genteel patrician Palm Beach’s Social-Index Directory favored. In fact, some regarded him as a gated community barbarian as well as a hustler too eager to impress. While his threat of chopping up Mar-a-Lago was an open of some rough relations on the horizon.

trump-plaza-west-palm-beach

While Donald Trump was trying to acquire Mar-a-Lago, he launched another real estate venture called Trump Plaza of the Palm Beaches. However, he ended up selling about 100 out of 221 condo units as well as borrowed $60 million which he couldn’t pay back. In the end, Trump lost his financial stake in the project and the bank took over.

While his Mar-a-Lago investment was in doubt, Donald Trump launched another local real estate venture across the Intracoastal Waterway in West Palm Beach. The property was an ailing 33-story, twin tower complex that a Palm Beach developer had lost in foreclosure. In 1986, Trump bought it for $40 million cash which was $3.2 million less than what the Bank of New York paid to reclaim the property at a public foreclosure auction. And like Mar-a-Lago, it was becoming a deal he couldn’t afford. Trump then renamed the West Palm Beach condo project after himself while spending millions to spruce up the Trump of the Palm Beaches’ public areas and advertise the sale of its luxury condos in Northeastern newspapers. Trump said at the time, “This is not a very large deal for me, but it’s a quality deal. We expect a lot of people in Palm Beach to be buying apartments for family, et cetera.” But after 4 years of heavy promoting, he only managed to sell 100 of the 221 units, which was less than half. In addition, Trump borrowed $60 million from the Marine Midland Bank of New York to pay for the project, which he couldn’t pay back. In 1991, 2 months before filing for corporate bankruptcy on his Trump Taj Mahal in Atlantic City, Trump turned over the Trump Plaza of the Palm Beaches to Marine Midland Bank of New York for his $14 million personal guarantee on the loan. The bank unloaded the unsold units in a fire-sale auction accepting bids of $75,000 for units previously priced as high as $470,000. Yet, because he can’t admit to personal failure, Trump took a victory lap saying, “It’s great for me because I get off a guarantee. Only because of the success of the development could I have done that.”

However, Donald Trump was still trying to find a way to salvage his Mar-a-Lago deal. So he didn’t want to give his Palm Beach neighbors the notion he was really drowning in debt. So after the bank sold off units from Trump Plaza of the Palm Beaches, Trump took out a full-page ad in The Palm Beach Daily News, which read: “This is an advertisement to explain the great success of a development, Trump Plaza of the Palm Beaches, which many people, until recently, had not been fully aware. When I look at Trump Plaza from Mar-a-Lago, I am proud that even in the horrendous real estate market of the early 1990s, I was able to rescue this previously troubled and unsold development, add management, construction expertise and the name Trump … and make it into one of Florida’s greatest success stories.” It didn’t mention that he completely lost his financial stake in the condos or how the project actually achieved full occupancy. So basically, Trump took an ad bragging about his “success” of his Palm Beach condo project, which was actually a total failure that he lost to the bank. Nor did that “success” change the fact that Trump still couldn’t afford Mar-a-Lago as a single-family home. And nobody was coming along to relieve him from the deal on “paradise” he had made.

Donald Trump’s proposed solution was to chop his National Historic Landmark into something he called the Mansions of Mar-a-Lago. This was a development that would put a public road running through the middle of the estate, leading to the 10 mini-mansions he’d build on the property, including one on the front lawn. But the Palm Beach Town Council shot down all of Trump’s proposed changes to the property, even when he reduced his mini-mansion plans from 10 to 7. Instead, they encouraged Trump to find a buyer if he couldn’t afford to keep the estate intact. After all, New York packaging magnate, Nelson Peltz had spent $21 million to buy Palm Beach oceanfront estate Montsorrel, 2 years after Trump bought Mar-a-Lago. So the town council advised Trump to just buy another Nelson Peltz to take the estate off his hands. However, as we all know, Donald Trump didn’t act on the Palm Beach council’s advice. In fact, when the town government refused to bend to his demands, he sued. The lawsuit against the Town of Palm Beach would eventually cause his neighbors to lawyer up against him. One of these lawyers told The Palm Beach Post at the time, “There are rules around here, and those rules apply to everyone, whether or not you have a famous name.”

trump-married-web-mr

When Donald Trump’s Mansions of Mar-a-Lago plan fell through, he decided to turn it into a private club it is today. Naturally, the Palm Beach Town Council took him on it since it was an all around win-win situation.

After Palm Beach rejected his Mansions of Mar-a-Lago, Donald Trump found another way to salvage his stake in his property. He offered to drop his lawsuit if council members allowed him to convert his estate into a new private club on the island. Since so much of Palm Beach social life was dictated by club memberships, this was a tempting offer. This was especially since there hadn’t been a new club on the island for a quarter century. In the deal, the town would get to have Mar-a-Lago remain in appearance it was in the Merriwether Post days. While Trump could unburden himself of its expenses by selling off memberships while maintaining his property ownership. Membership would be capped at 500, not including spouses and children. The initiation fee would be $50,000 with $3,000 annual dues (fee is now $200,000 with $14,000 in annual dues and charges $2,000 for meals). Members would get to dine, swim in the pool, and attend private parties and special events with world-class singers, lecturers, and entertainers. The town eventually approved the club.

But many Palm Beachers were still reluctant to trust Donald Trump. Socialite Tamara Newell said at the time, “A lot of people like to think Palm Beach is a little more genteel and old money. This is a new-money idea at an old-money location.” And approval of the club only gave them more reasons to peck at him. Now a lot of these disputes in the 2016 Politico article I read about his war with Palm Beach consist of a lot stupid shit like wedding fireworks, attendance limits to an Elton John AIDS concert, or changing the coat of arms to put Trump as an advertising ploy. While Trump is known for being notoriously petty, Palm Beach is filled with petty rich people and a town government that once banned shirtless joggers for tackiness and scented its sewer water with lilac and honeysuckle fragrances. Such petty disputes between Trump and the rich set of Palm Beach don’t seem to interest me much. Mostly because I care more about Trump deliberately screwing people out of their money or using intimidation tactics to get his way.

Yet, there is a telling incident in the 2016 Politico article on Donald Trump at Mar-a-Lago that’s very telling, especially on his insatiable appetite for self-promotion and the media’s role should be. In the first January after his divorce from his first wife Ivana was final, Trump’s publicist called all the local TV news and newspaper outlets in Palm Beach County to say that Trump was about to hold the party of all parties for that Winter’s Palm Beach social season. The publicist explained that one reporter from each news outlet would be allowed to attend this party-of-the-year to mingle with a guest list of invited celebrities such as Tom Selleck, Slyvester Stallone, and football star Herschel Walker. Frank Cerabino was on the guest list to cover the event for the Palm Beach Post. But it turned out his role at the party was far more complex than he imagined. Writing for Political in 2016, he recalled, “As the real guests arrived, which included busloads of fashion models from Miami, I was part of a local media contingent who wasn’t allowed to actually come into the party, but instead would form a visual tableau of over-eager reporters playing the role of gate crashers to those who would see us as their cars drove up to the portico of the mansion.” He continued, “Trump left us standing in his driveway in a little cluster. We were unaware, at first, of our role. But he couldn’t help coming over to wring out every last drop of publicity for the night.” In other words, Cerabino and the local reporters were at Mar-a-Lago to make him and his party look good as props. Going out of his way to show that he was winning divorce (like you can even do that), Trump invited a national TV reporter Judd Rose and his crew from ABC’s Prime Time Live show, into his home as guests for the weekend. Rose and his crew eventually filmed the money shot of the invitees, but shunned the local reporters yelling across the driveway to Trump to let them in. While Trump made a shooting gesture as if to wave them off and later described the reporters in the driveway as those who invited themselves to the party. Over the years, Cerabino has learned that Trump admires or despises journalists based on how useful they are to him while his sense of humor doesn’t include anything directed to him.

GTY_mar_a_lago_flag_as_160920_4x5_1600

One of the biggest Donald Trump disputes of legend at Mar-a-Lago was when he put up an oversized American flag on a tall pole at the resort. This incident would later be lampooned on The Colbert Report.

In 2006, without getting a permit and variance, Donald Trump put up an 80ft tall flag pole with a 15 x 25ft flag flying from it on his Mar-a-Lago resort. Since Palm Beach restricts residents flying flags no bigger than 4 x 6ft and on pole no higher than 42ft, he knew he was plainly inviting a lawsuit by out-flagging his neighbors. Taking the bait, the town council cited the oversized pole and flag as town code violations and fined Trump $250 for every day the display remained on his estate. In retaliation, Trump responded, “The town council of Palm Beach should be ashamed of itself. He went on Nancy Grace’s TV show to complain about Palm Beach’s lack of patriotism. Then, ignoring the town’s violations, which grew into a $120,000 fine and counting as of 2016, he filed a lawsuit against Palm Beach for $25 million in damages to what he called an abridgement to his constitutional right of free speech. Trump eventually dropped his flag lawsuit white town waived its fines. As terms of a court-ordered mediation, he’d file a permit and be allowed to keep an oversized pole on Mar-a-Lago that was 10ft shorter and on a different lawn spot. He was also called to donate $100,000 to veterans’ charities.

Tucked into Donald Trump’s patriotic posturing was a completely unrelated legal but more important matter: a complaint about the town code requiring large commercial enterprises to be “town serving.” Under this ordinance, Palm Beach requires proof from local businesses that local residents contribute at least 50% of their business to them. For instance, when Neiman Marcus opened in Palm Beach, the town allowed it as long as it only advertised in the local newspaper, and not in publications to shoppers not living on the island. For Trump, eliminating the “town serving” requirement would mean he could offer more memberships to his Mar-a-Lago social club to people with no Palm Beach connections, making it easier for him to keep his club full. Creating a distraction on the flag issue to pursue some other angle is a classic Trump move. Though he has yet to get this particular exemption waived, Palm Beach knows that Trump’s lawsuits never get settled, they just become dormant. While one of his Palm Beach lawyers told Politico in 2016, that the “town serving” issue is still unresolved and ripe for more litigation.

Trump-International-Golf-Club-clubhouse-West-Palm-Beach

Also in West Palm Beach is the Trump International Golf Club. Donald Trump got this made out of a dispute with the county airport. Though he wanted the jail moved, which he obviously didn’t get.

While playing defense against Palm Beach’s constant attempts to rein him in, Donald Trump went on the attack against the county and its airport. Airlines routinely used a flight path in and out of Palm Beach International Airport in nearby West Palm Beach that brought the planes directly over Mar-a-Lago. This didn’t sit well with Trump, arguing that the noise and fumes were ruining his investment, and that the decent thing for the county to do was to move the airport farther west. Actually Trump had been arguing that for years, to no avail. Acting like a spoiled brat not getting his own way, he called airport director, Bruce Pelly, among other things, a “moron” and “the worst airport director in the country.” It turned out to be a useful gripe for Trump, which he could turn into a new business opportunity. For just south of the airport was a 214 acres of vacant scrub land owned by Palm Beach County, which he wanted. So like any rich spoiled adult, he sued the county for over $75 million over the airport noise. Only to negotiate to drop that lawsuit in exchange for the county giving him a 75-year lease on the nearby property for $438,000 a year. That land became the Trump International Golf Club, a $40 million, 18-hole, Jim Fazio-designed course that imported nearly 2 million cubic yards of dirt to transform the flat scrub into hilly terrain with waterfalls, rock formations, a clubhouse 4 stories above sea level. While planning to open the course with initiation fees starting at $100,000, Trump wanted the county to do one more thing for him: move the jail. Because no matter how much landscaping he brought to the course, there was no way disguising the 12-story Palm Beach County Jail towering over the course’s north side and was visible from some of the holes. So as he had done with the airport, Trump asked the county to move the jail. Naturally, they refused, while the sheriff found the idea amusing.

Yet, Donald Trump’s war with the Palm Beach International Airport hasn’t quelled. When the airport considered expanding by adding another runway, Trump threatened another lawsuit. Though the expansion never came, Trump sued the airport again in 2016 for $100 million from county taxpayers for the sooty residue left by planes flying over Mar-a-Lago. Still, perhaps his actions aren’t about the airport, which he’s using for leverage to get what he wants but can’t have at the moment. Because Trump is always at war and woe to those who stand in his way.

Over the years, Palm Beach has gradually come to accept Donald Trump’s outsized personality along with his private club as more of an asset than a potential source of trouble. Mar-a-Lago has hosted many glittering social events, charity balls, and political fundraisers. As a concert hall, it has housed Palm Beach Opera shows and performances from top-notch entertainers like Celine Dion and Tony Bennett. As town officials moved on, their successors gradually loosened their tight reins on the club, easing the restriction on the numbers of outdoor beach barbecues it would allow, permitting the construction of an outdoor pavilion, and allowing the club to build a 14,000 sq. ft. kitchen on the grounds so waiters don’t have to use golf carts for hauling food inside and outside the mansion. Trump has also figured how to pay less taxes on Mar-a-Lago. By giving up development rights on the land to the National Historic Trust for Historic Preservation, it eliminated the county property appraiser’s ability to tax the place on the “highest and best use” standard that contemplated the estate can be still chopped up into lots and sold off. Yet, while Trump has become a Palm Beach fixture, it would be wrong to say he’s mellowed for he never does.

But that doesn’t mean Donald Trump’s presence hasn’t disrupted Palm Beach life in recent years. In fact, since his election to the presidency, his stays at Mar-a-Lago have raised issues not seen since he was a private citizen. Since they involve security and the impact his visits have on people and businesses in Palm Beach. Nowadays, whenever Trump resides in the Palm Beach region, the area becomes a zone of temporary flight restrictions affecting flights and other air operations within a 30 nautical mile radius. Coast Guard and Secret Service secure the 2 waterway approaches, ocean and lake. While the Secret Service cordons off streets to Mar-a-Lago. At Latana’s Palm Beach County Park Airport, the situation is dire. Whenever Trump is at Mar-a-Lago, Federal Aviation Administration restrictions ban all flights out of that airport, which is one of the busiest of its size in the country. It doesn’t help that the airport receives most of its business on weekends and holidays, particularly during the winter at peak snowbird season, when Trump would most likely be there. For instance, by the third weekend of February 2017, the Palm Beach County Park Airport had been shut down for 3 consecutive weekends, accumulating significant financial losses for multiple businesses. So to put it this way, as president, Trump’s visits to Mar-a-Lago during the winter have basically costs Palm Beach County millions of dollars in lost revenue from tourism. The county is also worried about the police overtime it’s racking up, which could be $60,000 a day.

While Donald Trump may give plenty of things for Palm Beach locals to talk about, there are other aspects we should discuss. First, since Trump became president, his visits have cost taxpayers millions of dollars for federal security detail, which has gone to the Trump Organization’s coffers. But it’s very clear that he’s making money off his presidency. Nonetheless, Mar-a-Lago club members enjoy the fact having Trump president gives them personal access to political power during his visits. In fact, since his inauguration, guests have been flocking to Mar-a-Lago to catch a glimpse of him. But the fact access to a president can be bought for thousands of dollars at his private club should worry every American. And it should make it alarmingly clear that Trump is a man of and for the 1%. Already, ProPublica claimed that a trio of ultrawealthy Mar-a-Lago members are effectively running the Department of Veterans Affairs in influencing policy and making personnel decisions. In fact, a veterans’ group has sued the VA over it.

caroline-taylor-mar-a-lago-donald-trump-florida-hotel

Here is Donald Trump with Melania and Barron posed with Mar-a-Lago’s employees. Most of them have HB-1 visas despite that Palm Beach locals were perfectly willing to do those jobs.

Second, despite Donald Trump’s self-promotion as a “champion” for US workers (which he isn’t), Mar-a-Lago has consistently hired a predominantly foreign workforce. He claims the local workforce is unwilling to do the work and that his foreign employees are best suited for the jobs. Except that’s not true. In 2016, The New York Times reported that over 200 locals had applied to work as cooks, waiters, and housekeepers since 2010. Only 17 of them were ever hired. Also, as with many Trump enterprises, there are plenty of wage theft complaints from contractors and employees. Given that foreign workers are easier to exploit since they can be threatened with deportation if they don’t toe the line, perhaps that’s why Trump prefers to employ them over locals.

Furthermore, The Palm Beach Post reported that Trump scored visas to hire 70 foreign workers at Mar-a-Lago for the 2017-18 tourist season. Third, in January 2017, Mar-a-Lago’s kitchens were hit with 13 health and safety violations, including 3 that were called “high priority.” Inspectors claimed that meat wasn’t properly refrigerated and could be unsafe for consumption, undercooked or raw fish that hadn’t undergone proper parasite destruction, and not maintaining coolers in proper working order. Another inspection in November resulted in 15 more health citations, according to the Miami Herald. In January 2018, Mar-a-Lago was cited for maintenance violations which could’ve posed a threat to public health, safety, and welfare like broken staircases, improper food storage, and inadequate smoke detectors.

Then there’s Mar-a-Lago’s security and cybersecurity woes. In recent years, Gizmodo reported that hackers found 3 of its networks as so weak that they could’ve breached the systems within 5 minutes. The 3 hackers behind the article claim they made the discovery using a 2ft wireless antenna from on board a 17ft motor boat parked offshore. Though Donald Trump’s company has expressed confidence in its cybersecurity as spokeswoman Amanda Miller told Gizmodo, “Our teams work diligently to deploy best in class firewall and anti-vulnerability platforms with constant 24/7 monitoring.”

landscape-1487006144-zrmzk71u77tnadw1suzm

In April 2017, we have Donald Trump and Japanese Prime Minister Shinzo Abe receiving news of North Korea launching a nuclear missile in Japan’s direction. Note the classified information being shown in the cell phone screen.

Speaking of security breaches, Donald Trump’s trips to Mar-a-Lago afford an unprecedented opportunity for eavesdropping and building dossiers on his routines and habits along with those in his inner circle around him. Add that with each repeated visit, the security risk escalates. As former Obama official David Kris told TIME, “The president is the biggest, richest intelligence target in the world, and there is almost no limit to the energy and money an adversary will spend to get at him.” According to former Secret Service agents, the security setup at Mar-a-Lago and Trump’s other private clubs presents challenges to the agency wasn’t built to deal with. Since the Secret Service’s main job is to protect the president from physical threats and monitoring for wiretaps and other listening devices. Not from the kinds of counterespionage challenges presented by the president’s choice to eat, sleep, and work at a club accessible to anyone who can get a member to invite them in. White House visitors must go through a rigorous background screening before they’re let in the door. Agents scan every visitor’s full name, birth date, Social Security number, city of residence, and country of birth. Gaining entry at Mar-a-Lago doesn’t require that degree of disclosure. Sure guests entering the club have to pass multiple security checkpoints staffed by Secret Service agents looking for weapons or other immediate threats. But there’s only one requirement to produce a photo ID, while the club doesn’t ask guests to provide their names or other information as they enter through the main wrought-iron gated door. At public events, attendees are only asked to provide their name. Since has Trump has become president, the lax security measures can make Mar-a-Lago a free-for-all for spies.

Hell, spies don’t even need to go to Mar-a-Lago to do their work. In early 2017, lists of the club’s nearly 500 exclusive dues-paying members were leaked to the news media, giving foreign intelligence names of potential targets for surveillance, bribes, or blackmail that could help them get closer to Donald Trump. In addition, a page on Mar-a-Lago’s website (which is accessible to the public with just a little search engine sleuthing), reveals the names, work email addresses, and phone numbers for more than a dozen critical club employees, including the managing director, the housekeeping director, the official in charge of food and beverage services, and the chief of security. All would be obvious targets for operatives trying to get information on Trump or others in his entourage.

Mar-a-Lago may be a winter White House for Donald Trump. But since his inauguration, it has become another political arena where one with wads of cash can have access to political power. Indeed, plenty of these guests are rich people from old money. Though others can be politicians, foreign dignitaries, and corporate heads wanting something in exchange for their service. This can be donations, but it can also be policy that could affect our lives and not for the better. Yet, it’s another arena that can be prone to spy infiltration from eavesdroppers listening into conversations which can compromise our national security. Since it’s already happened in 2017. Nonetheless, we must be wary when Trump goes there since his visits are marketing events and he’s used his trips to make money off the presidency, which is a very clear conflict of interest.

 

The Wonderful World of Album Covers (Fifth Edition)

fleetwood-mac-rumours_sq-11b0b64b5817a55faed7c89d205d46f1d9afcf45-s900-c85

While you might have noteworthy covers like the Fleetwood Mac Rumors album, there are plenty that aren’t on the standard radar. Mostly because they’re not very memorable since they normally feature the artist and the title. Yet, do a Google search and you’ll find plenty of album covers that can quite ridiculous. A lot of them can be unintentionally funny, creepy, or inappropriate. While some of them can be more risque than you’d think they be, considering if the release date was before 1970. Some can just be plain weird, especially if they’re sci-fi inspired or aimed to children. Nonetheless, most of these musical acts typically remain unknown. Though you’ll find a noted singer or band once in awhile. So for your reading pleasure, I give you another treasure trove of crazy old album covers. Enjoy.

  1. Moe Bandy: I Just Started Hatin’ Cheatin’ Songs Today
albumcover071

You can’t find a more country album like this. Apparently, his wife left him, his dog died, his pick up truck broke down, and he almost went to prison. And he probably has a drinking problem.

Moe has never been the same since Sandra left him for Pablo the pool boy.

2. The Beatles: Yesterday and Today

beatlesbutcher

Yes, even the Beatles had their share of terrible album covers like a the infamous butcher cover. Fortunately for collectors, this one is worth a lot of money.

Unfortunately, even the Beatles weren’t above mutilation.

3. Ivory Chuck: Ivory Chuck at the Ivories

Chuck

Ivory Chuck can always be handy with the piano keys. Yet, mess with him and he’ll strangle you and dump you in the river.

Hustler by day, lounge musician by night.

4. Ferrante and Teicher: Blast Off!

cover93

One guy is lying with his legs up on the piano like he’s supposed to be in zero gravity. Star Trek this is not.

Unfortunately, they didn’t qualify as space camp material.

5. If the Bomb Falls: A Recorded Guide to Survival

cover96

Sorry, but I don’t think this album has any good information on surviving nukes. Seriously, if a nuke dropped where you live, you’re most likely to die.

Need to know about surviving nukes? This album will tell you everything you need to know.

6. Music for Dreaming

cover128

And yet, they lie in street clothes in the snow. Outside a village with very small people. My guess they’ll end up like Gulliver before they wake up.

Finally, a album you can play while you sleep.

7. Dwayne Smith: “Get Directly Down”

cover130

Nonetheless, Dwayne is determined to hold a beach concert as a low-budget Elton John with his keyboard and amplifier in tow. While his trusted dog is by his side.

Why directly? Was “Get Down” already taken?

8. Esquivel: Exploring New Sounds in Stereo

cover138

Then again, to explore new sounds in space may require a way larger telescope than he could muster. And they wouldn’t sell it in stores.

And yet, he’s using a telescope.

9. Si Zetner and His Orchestra: The Swingin’ Eye

cover148

Someone must’ve been on acid to design this cover. Seriously, you’d think she was from the VFD strip club from A Serie of Unfortunate Events.

Featuring a large eye with a lady’s butt and legs.

10. Warren Barker and His Orchestra: William Holden Presents a Musical Touch of Far Away Places

cover150

Here William Holden sits in the study with a nervous smile. Hoping the band doesn’t play the “Colonel Bogey March.”

Apparently, the bongos is making William Holden feel cramped.

11. The Stanley Johnson Orchestra: Have Harp Can’t Travel

cover177

I’m sure any concert hall would have a harp there. I mean almost every one of them has a piano.

Yeah, I don’t think you can fit that in a tour bus.

12. Si Zetner and His Orchestra: High Noon Cha Cha Cha

cover182

Sure she’s topless and wears high heel sandals. But ogle at her bare rack long enough and she’ll take you out her six shooters.

Featuring the notorious Ta-Ta Jane, the best topless straight shooter in the Old West.

13. Music to Light Your Pilot By

cover205

Wonder what the pilot’s going to do with that large wooden propeller. Hope he’s not thinking a threesome.

After all, pilots need music while having sex, too.

14. Maya Angelou: Miss Calypso

cover219

Yes, that’s Maya Angelou herself dancing to the fire in a strapless dress that she could stick her leg out. I know it’s kind of uncomfortable to see her this way.

Here you can listen to the great American poet and author sing calypso music.

15. The Incomparable Robin Hood Band: Spectacular Sounds

cover268

If you had to wear a humiliating marching band uniform in high school, imagine having to dress up like Robin Hood while playing professionally. Because these guys look totally ridiculous.

Hear the music from this band of merry men.

16. Living Strings: Music to Help You Stop Smoking

cover293

Wonder what kind of songs would be on this album. And wonder if that music helps people to break the habit.

Because if you need to quit, put on this record while going cold turkey.

17. Music to Keep Your Husband Happy

cover385

Indeed, this is album is meant to be played during sex. Nonetheless, I’m sure Barry White and Marvin Gaye are somewhere on the listings.

Includes booklets inside to spice up your love life.

18. Fun’Da’Mental: Erotic Terrorism

cover389

This is by a British Muslim hip-hop group from the 1990s which is still around today. Yet, the cover seems ripped from a foreign film about a guy with a thirst for revenge.

You don’t mess with this man with a gun.

19. Diesel Smoke, Dangerous Curves, and Other Truck Driver Favorites

Diesel_Smoke_Cover-web

And yet, the cover features a truck stop waitress. Mostly because they think sex sells somehow.

If your job takes you on the road, here’s the soundtrack for you.

20. The Gateway Singers

GatewaySingers

Yet, the outfits are much to be desired. Seriously, plaid sport coats and drapery dresses?

They’re just a wholesome group in front of a cabin.

21. Ron Johnson: “Happiness” with Ron Johnson

happiness

Here he has his guitar in the garden. While he sings, “The Tax Returns Don’t File Themselves.”

Ladies and gentlemen, Ron from accounting would like to sing a song for you.

22. Jeff: Something Special from Jeff

jeff

From Mental Floss: “Poor Jeff looks like death warmed over, from his Herman Munster tan to that funeral director suit. I just hope the ‘something special’ he’s got for us doesn’t involve that hook.”

Presenting something special by the all incomparable Jeff.

23. Rusty Warren: Knockers Up!

KnockersUp

They seem awfully close to one another while drinking martinis. I think I know where this is going.

This drummer always knows how to turn on the charm.

24. Alan Gardiner Accordion Band: Play It Again

LP-Accordians

Oh, God, you don’t want to have 4 accordions in a room like that. That’s not a party. That’s torture.

With accordions you’ll always have a party.

25. Zillertal Band: Beer Drinking Songs by the Zillertal Band

LP-GermanDrinking

Yes, this album features a lot of German drinking songs. And a couple of guys just have to enjoy a beer with a barmaid who might be a Vulcan.

Finally, an album you can play for Ocktoberfest.

26. Millie Jackson: E.S.P

millie1

Nonetheless, the crystal ball seems to magnify her boobs. Since the ball is almost totally transparent.

Millie Jackson sees all, knows all.

27. Elin Proysen and Egil Johansson: Med et Smil

NorweignLP

This is from Norway. Still, on the bright side, despite being stranded on their car, their music could attract flood rescuers.

Just because you’ve been flooded on the road, doesn’t mean you can’t have fun making music.

28. Mohamed El-Bakkar and His Oriental Ensemble: Port Said Music of the Middle East

PortSaid

Still, it features a very scantily clad belly dancer that would infuriate many Muslims today. Besides, are those nipple pasties?

Be transported to exotic places with music from the Middle East.

29. Li’l Richard and His All Stars: Happy Easter

Really-Bad-Album-Covers-LiL-Richard

Yet, he probably got that nickname while in prison for armed robbery. And no, I don’t think the bunnies soften his rough-hewn image.

No, he’s not that L’il Richard.

30. The McKeithens

Really-Bad-Album-Covers-McKeithens

I mean the one woman has a beehive that’s straight from the 1700s. And yes, this is a Christian album.

Brought to you by Marie Antoinette hair products.

31. Jean Pierre Jumez: The Nimble Fingers of Jean Pierre Jumez

Really-Bad-Album-Covers-Nimble-Fingers

Seriously, is this guy even wearing pants? Maybe I really don’t want to know.

He’s a musician so dedicated to his art that he practices on the toilet.

32. Siegfried Schwab & the Voice of Rosy: The Fabulous Guitar from Bach to Almeida

bad-album-covers-4-big

Ironically, Johann Sebastian Bach wasn’t known for being a perv. In fact, he was a family man known for fathering 20 kids with 2 wives.

Didn’t know Bach was into women in pink bodysuits.

33. Sister Mary Bernadette O.P.: Sister Sings of Many Things

SisterSings

So what kind of things does she sing about? Okay, I know religious music is most likely. But for all I know she could be singing about pina coladas or something.

There’s not just one singing nun out there.

34. Daniel DiCarlo and His Orchestra: Moonlight Madness

TigerLP

Indeed, she’s touching the whiskers of a guy in a tiger suit. An early example of furry fandom at its finest.

Featuring Ginger and her tiger friend.

35. Buzz Martin: Where There Walks a Logger There Walks a Man

untitled

Monty Python lumberjack-transvestite jokes aside, loggers aren’t known for their resilience. Should more appropriately be titled: Where There Walks a Logger There Walks a High Insurance Risk.

Because lumberjacks are the pinnacle of manliness.

36. Willeta Boren: Let Everything That Has Breath Praise the Lord

WilletaBoren

And yet, the wind has no effect on her large hairdo. Thanks to copious amounts of hair spray.

Here we have Willeta walking on the sand.

37. Black Sabbath: Born Again

worst-album-covers-born-again

Man, that’s one freakish baby. Even has devil horns, fans, and claws. Still, Black Sabbath is a metal band so this isn’t out of the ordinary for them.

Featuring the infant spawn of Satan.

38. Cody Matherson: “Can I Borrow a Feelin?'”

Worst-Album-Covers-Cody-MAthews

From Mental Floss: “Cody had the great honor of having his album title stolen by the writers of The Simpsons: in the episode “A Milhouse Divided,” after Milhouse’s dad loses his marriage and hits rock bottom he records a terrible album called “Can I Borrow A Feeling?” Sounds like Matherson should borrow a lawyer.”

By the hunkiest man from the trailer park.

39. The Melachrino Orchestra: Music for Daydreaming

Worst-Album-Covers-Daydreaming

Yet, she feels quite inadequate with her life. With a boyfriend who won’t give her the time of day and a dead-end job, Blanche often sought to live a fantasy life.

Brought to you by the woman reading her book with a yellow rose.

40. ET: Best Friends

Worst-Album-Covers-ET

Seriously, his pants have seashells on them. Also, comes across as a rap artist Eddie Murphy would parody on SNL during the 1980s.

Featuring his seashell pants.

41. W.W. Bauer, M.D. and Florence Marvayne Bauer: Explaining Sex to Your Little Girl: A Common Sense Guide to Growing Up

Worst-Album-Covers-Explaing-Sex

Yeah, this is pretty awkward. And here the girl sits on her dad’s lap as he explains periods.

Need to explain sex to your daughter? This album could help.

42. Gary Dee Bradford: Gary Dee Bradford Sings for You and You and You

Worst-Album-Covers-Gary-Dee

Look into his eyes and you’ll see a soulless child from the Village of the Damned. Don’t let his smile fool you.

Here the voice of the kid who seems like he’d kill ants with a magnifying glass.

43. The Gospel Four: The Gospel Four Sings “I Won’t Walk Without Jesus”

Worst-Album-Covers-Gospel-Four

Seriously, look at their coats. Also, the woman’s bouffant is so garish. In addition, they seem like they’re watching a squirrel do something funny.

Sponsored by red denim.

44. Tex Ritter: Tex Ritter Sings “Happy Hands!”

Worst-Album-Covers-Happy-Hands

After all, children need clean hands in order to strangle the living daylights out of you. Seriously, those kids appear to be the stuff of nightmares.

Said to be “a song that teaches the value of clean and busy hands.”

45. Moscow Nights: Popular Russian Hits

Worst-Album-Covers-Moscow-Nights

Apparently, they don’t party very hard in Russia. Though I think the happy couple dancing must be drunk on vodka. Since the others have blasé faces.

Listen to the popular music of Russia.

46. Music to Massage Your Mate By

Worst-Album-Covers-Music-to-massage-your-mate

However, this woman’s face says, “Not feeling it.” While the guy could almost pass for a 1970s porn star.

Rub down your mate with a collection of these tunes.

47. Weela Gallez: A Hysterical Evening with Weela Gallez

Worst-Album-Covers-My-Turtles-Dead

And yet, she dresses like she’s just been on vacation. Still, that face as she’s holding her monkey in sheer horror is priceless.

Caption: “My turtle’s dead!”

48. Julia & Barbara the Blind Slye Twins: It’s Me Again Lord

Worst-Album-Covers-The-Blind-Slye-Twins

Sure they can’t see a thing. But they’re bound to haunt your dreams with their big hair and thirst for blood.

Hear the songs of Christian twins you wouldn’t want to run into at a haunted hotel.

49. Tubby Boots: Tubby Boots Goes Topless

Worst-Album-Covers-Tubby-Boots

Yet, that doesn’t mean you should put nipple pasties on your man boobs. Also, is that a centurion helmet?

But why do an album on that?

50. W.A.S.P: Animal (F**k Like a Beast)

Worst-Album-Covers-W.A.S.P.

I’m sure any guy looking at this album cover would freak out over the saw in the crotch belt. Seriously, that looks really painful.

Brought to you by the crotch ripper.