The Dark Scary World of Vintage Halloween Costumes (Fifth Edition)

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For some mysterious reason, old vintage Halloween pictures seem to be a lot creepier for some reason. Maybe it’s the black and white photography. Maybe it’s how the costumes were made. Maybe it’s their conception of scary. I don’t know. Still, when you look at them, they’re bound to freak you out and give you nightmares for weeks to come. Anyway, for your reading pleasure, I give you another assortment of nightmarish vintage Halloween costumes. Sweet dreams.

  1.  She’s all dressed in ready for the spiderweb ball.
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So is this how they dressed for Halloween during the 18th century? Or did people during the 18th century not celebrate it?

2. Now, everyone, smile for the camera.

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Man, I don’t think the guy dressed as a Native American would fly today. Also, some of the masks are quite terrifying.

3. I’m sure this witch is kind to her animals.

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Yet, I’m not exactly sure by the grin on her face. Also, that cat looks like it’s stuffed.

4. The kitchen staff can be such animals.

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Okay, I don’t want to go in there. For all I know they could be cooking some of Hannibal Lecter’s best known recipes.

5. We all have our bad hair days.

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Yet, she could use a full-on makeover. Then again, witches don’t care much about their looks, anyway.

6. Even a ghostly skeleton seeks to pick up chicks.

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I’m sure this version of Ghost doesn’t contain the iconic pottery wheel scene. In fact, I don’t think they’ll be making love to “Unchained Melody” anytime soon either.

7. You’d think this lady was batty.

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Yes, she’s in a sexy bat costume. But her dress doesn’t make much sense to me, save for fanservice.

8. Perhaps buying your costume isn’t as great as it seems.

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Yeah, the masks look kind creep thanks to black and white photography. Still, the one with the leopard print doesn’t seem to have a face.

9. Want to dress as a sexy ghost? Just put a white bag on your head.

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You could never pull this kind of costume in PA. Mainly because the weather’s under 50 degrees by this point.

10. May I present to you the 19th century version of the Village People.

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As you can see, they’re not exactly a lively bunch. In fact, they seem more likely to kill you in your sleep.

11. What a couple of babies.

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Okay, these two look too big to be babies. Yet, their masks can just scare the living shit out of you.

12. You might fly with these Peter Pan costumes.

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These are actually really terrifying. And it really says a lot since Peter Pan is an incredibly creepy movie.

13. Here you see Spiderman and Batman hang out with Colonel Sanders.

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What a way to show a good example to kids, superheroes. Of course, masked vigilantism doesn’t help either.

14. How about you hang near the car?

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That duck mask is frightening. Then again, the chicken mask may even be scarier.

15. Hope the trick-or-treaters can make themselves comfortable.

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Okay, those vintage costumes are actually scarier in color. Even in regards to Princess Aurora, Casper, and Snoopy.

16. These kids are just resting on the grass.

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These masks are incredibly terrifying. Don’t look now, but I think these kids are devising ways to kill neighbors who don’t give them candy.

17. Have fun trick-or-treating, kids.

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Apparently, someone managed to make Spiderman and the Lone Ranger scary. While the Wolf man seems kind of lame.

18. That’s an odd looking giraffe.

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Since the giraffe is made out of paper. Still, wonder how the girl can see in it.

19. Beware of the chicken boy.

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I don’t know why the kid just stick around transfixed on the chicken. When the girl should be running away screaming for her dear life.

20. These two are just walking the street on their Halloween haunt.

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The witch seems like she’s wearing Groucho Marx glasses without the mustache. But it should be the ghost that really scares us.

21. You might want to get away from the monster behind you.

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That’s Frankenstein’s monster attacking that boy. And I’m sure the boy might need another pair of pants.

22. Sorry to crash a medieval plague doctors meeting.

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Since they’re all wearing bird masks and cloaks. Still, if it was the 1300s, we’d wonder how many of them will be left next year.

23. You’d think this is an odd-looking bird.

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Well, it’s a cardboard costume. But it kind of looks eerie in black and white photography.

24. Beware of the little red devil.

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I’m sure this kid is all right. But the costume makes him seem like a little terror out of hell.

25. A mother sits with her strangely dressed children.

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Two of them are supposed to be dwarfs, I think. One’s a cowboy. And one’s the Monopoly Man. But all seem rather dead inside.

26. This woman just wears a dress, mask, and cone hat.

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Wearing that, you’d think she was on her way to a cult meeting. But she has a pumpkin on her dress.

27. These four just hang around the front door.

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But look at their masks and you don’t want them in your house. Seriously, they make Freddy Krueger look like a character on Sesame Street.

28. You wouldn’t want to run into this little clown at night.

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Wonder if this is a childhood photo of Pennywise the Clown. I mean he had to be a child somehow.

29. Here a ghost emerges from the bushes.

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Let’s hope he didn’t make it from some Klan robe. Because they were a thing back in the Gilded Age and 1920s.

30. This doesn’t seem like a fun Halloween party.

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Consists of a scary clown and two very offensive stereotypes. For God’s sake it was the early 1900s. Times were really racist.

31. Well, this seems like a strange horse race.

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Yes, you see people sharing horse costumes. One guy has very little legs like Lord Farquad.

32. Don’t hitch a ride with these masked men.

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Since they’ll take you to an undisclosed location. Then they’ll kill you and rip you to pieces.

33. Who knows what this clown will do to these two women.

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Yeah, I get that he’s wearing a tall hat. But I think after this picture was taken, the two women were never seen again.

34. The skull person is within the living room.

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Indeed, they’re not scaring anyone. But in time, they will chase teenagers with a knife once it gets dark.

35. Each trick-or-treater shall receive a large pumpkin bag.

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The devil and Raggedy Ann masks will haunt your dreams. The cat, not so much.

36. Sometimes a white mask is all you need.

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She’s even on roller skates. That means she can go after you with a knife faster. Except on the stairs.

37. Are those kids or ventriloquist dummies?

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Well, they could be kids wearing masks. Yet, they don’t really seem very lifelike to me. Something’s off here.

38. The light’s quite misty, isn’t it?

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One of the revelers reminds me of an undead muppet. Another has a rather creepy clown face.

39. Apparently, someone’s fallen into a creepy cult ritual.

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These women wear dresses with markings on them. But they must dance around two virgins before they sacrifice them to their blood hungry god.

40. A witch stands with her cat.

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She seems rather lonely. Mostly because everyone’s frightened of her. And her cat’s plush, I think.

41. These two seem like a rather odd couple.

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One wears a mask with make while looking dashing in a top hat and coat. The other wears a mask and a dress.

42. Here’s a friendly guy you’d meet in the park.

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Kind of reminds me of the guy kicked off The Muppet Show. Since he often gave kids candy from his windowless van. Or so I heard.

43. Care to see the clown in the corner?

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On second thought, I’ll pass on that one. Don’t want to be found near the river with an ax in my back.

44. Don’t you ever refuse to give these kids candy.

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Because if you do, they will kill you. Even if you honestly ran out, they will still slay you. So please have candy ready for them.

45. Sandra finds romance on Planet of the Apes.

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“Come to me, you damn dirty ape. Send me to your monkey bar sex dungeon.”

46. Don’t you dare cross this masked maid.

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Mess with her and she’ll make sure you pay with your life. And she’ll make you pay.

47. You might enjoy this jolly clown.

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Okay, this clown is terrifying. Avoid him like the plague if you value your life.

48.  You’d swear you’ve seen these trick-or-treaters from space.

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These costumes are quite frightening. Yet, the astronaut has to wear a rocket shaped mask for some reason.

49. “Come and play with us, Danny.”

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Those princess masks are guaranteed to give you nightmares. Will certainly haunt your dreams.

50. Perhaps you might enjoy a couple of sisters.

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One doesn’t pretend not to care. The other’s thinking about skinning the neighbor’s cat.

51. Make sure your stick matches your masks.

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Though each one is just as scary. And the kids in the back certainly know it.

52. Looks like the Turnip ghost caused some scares.

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The woman is freaking out. The guy is splayed on the floor. Wonder if this is some horror cosplay scene.

53. Just because you’re a woman doesn’t mean you can’t be Batman.

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Well, she’s an early incarnation of Batwoman. But what am I kidding? Batman wasn’t around yet.

54. Well, we’ve got a couple of lone rangers.

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Actually, one’s supposed to be Zorro. But they will strike if not given candy for trick-or-treating.

55. “Won’t you come and spoon with me?”

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Oh, hell no. For God’s sake I’m not that desperate for cuddles.

56.  “I’m just a little school girl.”

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I don’t know about you. But that’s a dude who looks like a lady to me. Possible ancestor of Steve Tyler from Aerosmith.

57. “Get off my lawn, you brats!”

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For if you don’t, he’ll run you down and cut you up in his basement. Don’t say I didn’t warn you.

58. Watch out for the locker room ghosts.

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Of course, they probably didn’t have the time and resources for a full sheet. So they used pillow cases instead. One even has a black bag.

59. “I shall call him, Mini Me.”

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These two wear the same cone black hats. The smaller boy is pure evil.

60. I give you, the Elephant Man.

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Okay, that’s kind of insensitive. Joseph Merrick deserves more dignity than that. Then again, he probably doesn’t know anything about Merrick.

61. Send in the big clowns.

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On second thought, do clowns really need to be inflated. That just makes them scarier.

62. “Are you comfortable, madam?”

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This mouse seems rather hospitable to that girl. Don’t really want to what kind of relationship they have.

63. “Let’s just watch that house burn.”

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These masks are so terrifying even if they’re supposed to be dolls and clowns. And I’m sure they just set a house on fire.

64. Clown or space alien? You decide.

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Actually, she’s probably dressed like a clown. But her tall hat totally seems like it’s from another planet.

65. These two always stick together.

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Mostly because they’re dressed as co-join twins. They do a lot together, including murder.

66. “Want to join us at the farm?”

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They’re all decked in their pajamas like they’re having a slumber party. Though I’ll pass on this one.

67. This black cat lingers in the alley.

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Sure they may look scary. But the 2019 trailer to Cats just makes it look tame in comparison.

68. Hello boys and girls, it’s Beppo the clown.

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For God’s sake, kill this infernal creature with fire. Before he kills somebody or gets in a daycare center.

69. Don’t want to run into these monsters even on a good day.

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They’re just kids in Halloween costumes. But the masks are simply spooky.

70. Don’t mess with these clown ladies.

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Mock their circus act and I swear they will rain fire and terror on you. Or they’ll just kill you in your sleep.

71. Skull girl just loves hanging among the flowers.

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Hey, at least she’s not Rhoda from the Bad Seed. She wouldn’t kill anyone for trivial stuff like a penmanship award. But she will if you mess with her.

72. Why so sad, scarecrow?

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Guy looks like a sagging and depressed muppet. And with bad fashion sense.

73. This witch is awfully fond of these little girls.

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Wonder if that witch is in costume. But she shows eyes of ill intent.

74. Care for some clandestine greenhouse ritual?

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The kids seem like they’re dressed in their pajamas. The mom’s dressed as a witch.

75. Here’s a still from the new Joker movie.

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Well, that might be a little too early. But I’m sure he’ll grow up to be an unstable psychopath nonetheless.

76. Pretty short to have mustaches, don’t you think?

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One’s wearing a dress to indicate she’s clearly a girl. But these two seem like they’re silently judging you in those creepy masks.

77. “Here’s Toodles!”

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Seeing that clown hovering over that family sends shivers down my spine. Also, is he holding a gun?

78. “I just came here to pick up a few things like your soul.”

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I can understand why that girl’s screaming. Still, kind of way too young for this Faustian bargain thing. I think there should be an age of consent for that.

79. Got you 4 little devils in a row.

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They’re even all holding masks. But come midnight, they will wreak havoc on a murder spree.

80. These robots come from another galaxy.

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But mess with them, they’re bound to exterminate you. They also have great fashion sense.

Erin Go Bragh with These Lucky Treats on Saint Patrick’s Day (Sixth Edition)

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Now that Valentine’s Day is over, it’s on to the green, shamrocks, rainbows, leprechauns, and pots of gold. Given that we have so many Irish Americans, it’s basically the Irish version of Cinco de Mayo. Except there’s some kind of religious significance since it honors Saint Patrick who brought Christianity to Ireland, not to honor a battle fought against the French at the US-Mexican border. Though that doesn’t stop people from using the holiday as an excuse to get drunk. Anyway, for your reading pleasure, I give you yet another assortment of Saint Patrick’s Day treats. Enjoy.

  1. A chocolate cake must have minty green icing.
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And on 2 layers, too. Also don’t forget the chocolate drizzle.

2. Celebrate Saint Patrick’s Day with some rainbow sushi.

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You might need food dye for the rice. But the peppers can be of a variety of colors.

3. Give your St. Patty’s day dessert platter a boost in luck this year with some leprechaun cookies.

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These are made from heart sugar cookies turned upside down. So the top part can consist of the leprechaun’s beard.

4. Grace your Saint Patrick’s Day table with this rainbow snack platter.

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The platter consists of snacks of different rainbow colors. Some of these are candy, by the way.

5. Treat yourself to some pot of gold cupcakes.

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The cupcakes are turned upside down. While the gold coins are probably vanilla wafers in gold icing.

6. How about some fancy shamrock cupcakes?

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The cupcakes are turned upside down. While the gold coins are probably vanilla wafers in gold icing.

7. You can’t have Saint Patrick’s Day without some Celtic knot shamrock cupcakes.

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Well, the toppers are quite intricate. While the cupcakes are chocolate and covered with yellow icing and rainbow sprinkles.

8. Top your Saint Patrick’s Day dessert platter with this green bundt cake.

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This is covered in 50 shades of green icing. Okay, maybe not 50 but it’s a lot of green.

9. Love chocolate pudding? Try these pot of gold cups?

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The gold on top is popcorn with gold sprinkles on top. While the spoon handles have zigzag rainbows.

10. Perhaps you want to treat your guests to these Saint Patrick’s Day cookies.

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Includes rainbows and shamrocks. Pots of gold consists of icing and sprinkles.

11. Nothing makes St. Patty’s Day sweeter like gold macarons.

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These have chocolate filling and shamrocks on top. Perfect to put in any pot of gold.

12. You’ll find gold inside these rainbow cupcakes.

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These consists of rainbow icing and pots of gold on top. So pretty.

13. Nothing makes St. Patrick’s Day like these green velvet cheesecake bars.

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Well, they have the green on the bottom. And green sprinkles on top.

14. You might get lucky with some chocolate mint fudge cakes.

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Well, they’re bars. But you have a layer of mint chocolate chip goodness.

15. You can’t go wrong with some spinach pesto on your pasta.

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Or pesto in general. Because what’s Saint Patrick’s Day without green spaghetti?

16. Treat yourself this St. Patty’s Day with some shamrock fudge squares.

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These have sprinkles and candy shamrocks and gold coins. Look so tasty.

17. You’ll never know what you’ll find in these shamrock cookies.

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All of these have some chocolate caramel, and marshmallows inside. Also covered in green and chocolate icing and sprinkles.

18. Perhaps you’d want a piece of this rainbow cake.

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Interesting how the rainbow’s on the side and consists of M&Ms. Pot of gold probably not edible in the least.

19. Care for a rainbow cupcake?

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These are covered with white icing. All have a stream of rainbow icing with a cloud of mini marshmallows.

20. You’ll be refreshed with these mint chocolate cookies.

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They’re chocolate cookies with green and chocolate icing. The shamrocks are made from M&Ms.

21. Treat yourself this Sant Patrick’s day to some Chinese dumplings.

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Well, these have pesto inside so it kind of counts. Hell, I’m not sure if it’s even a Chinese dish. I just know it’s something you eat with chopsticks.

22. Anyone want a chocolate mint brownie?

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These have some green filling inside. Covered in a layer of chocolate fudge and green sugar.

23. With these cupcakes, you can taste the rainbow.

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And it seems the rainbow tastes like vanilla. Also consists of white icing and rainbow sprinkles.

24. You’ll have some Lucky Charms in some pastel rainbow bars.

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They’re also covered in sprinkles. Though the rainbow seems to consist of 5 colors and includes pink.

25. Apparently, you’ll find layers of color on these cupcakes.

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These are rainbow cupcakes with shamrocks on top. Each has 6 layers of sugar coated icing.

26. Bring the luck of the Irish with these rainbow pinwheel cookies.

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These are covered with rainbow sugar. Hope you got a sweet tooth.

27. Get a bite out some of these mint chocolate chip beauties.

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Each has some buttercream inside. Covered in white icing and green sprinkles.

28. Expose your taste buds to a piece of a mint chocolate chip cake roll.

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This one has some chocolate cake and mint chocolate chip filling inside. Looks so tasty. Love it.

29. You can’t go wrong with shamrock cookies.

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These have a green icing with some intricate Celtic design. And I’m sure they were made in a bakery.

30. Irish Millennials can’t go without their shamrock avocado toast.

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Of course, Irish boomers will tell them to forego that to save money. Despite they don’t earn a living wage from their full time job.

31. There’s no greater treasure than an Oreo pot of gold.

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These are covered in chocolate with some gold candies and a rainbow fruit roll up. Like how they stand up.

32. Feel free to serve up Irish hospitality with this shamrock cake.

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Meaning, you’ll probably not get a piece of this if you wear orange or are English. Okay, I’m kidding.

33. Nobody can get enough of these mint chocolate chip cookie dough bars.

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Though the FDA might think these are a hazard. Yet, eating cookie dough isn’t like drinking unpasteurized milk or raw meat. Come on.

34. Nothing makes Saint Patrick’s Day like some McPeeps.

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They’re marshmallow peeps with gumdrop leprechaun hats. Sure I’m putting them in treats but I’d really not recommend you to eat them.

35. Nobody can resist these cookie mint sandwiches.

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They’re supposed to be like Oreos. Green filling covered in sprinkles.

36. You’d want your pot of gold from these leprechauns.

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Well, the pots of gold seem like they’re made of paper. But the leprechauns are just so cute.

37. Top your Saint Patrick’s Day dessert platter with this large hat cake.

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It’s 3 tiers. The leprechaun hat’s decked with white shamrocks on the side and green shamrocks on the top.

38. Hope you can get lucky with these leprechaun cupcakes.

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These have vanilla wafer leprechaun faces. Their hats are gumdrops while the beards are M&Ms.

39. Feast your eyes on these green deviled eggs.

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The egg on here is dyed green. Makes a great St. Patty’s day appetizer, especially with ham.

40. Impress your guests with this Saint Patrick’s Day cake.

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This one has a leprechaun hat, rainbow, and green shamrock flower. As gold coins deck the bottom.

41. You can’t have St. Patty’s Day dessert without some mint Oreo truffles.

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These have Oreo in the center with an icing cover and sprinkles. Some have drizzle and shamrocks.

42. Perhaps these shamrock cupcakes can suit you.

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They have candy shamrocks and coins. And each is topped with gold sprinkles and white icing.

43. Wake up this St. Patty’s Day with these shamrock cinnamon rolls.

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Okay, these consist of a few cinnamon rolls. But you got to love their smell fresh from the oven.

44. Perhaps you’d want a snack platter like this for St. Patrick’s Day.

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Hey, at least the foods are easy to find and rather healthy, too. Because you find green everywhere in nature.

45. Nothing’s better on Saint Patrick’s Day than green cupcakes.

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Each of these is made from green velvet. Topped with candy shamrocks and white icing with sprinkles.

46. You’ll find some little shamrocks on these cupcakes.

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These have green wrappers. Topped with small shamrocks, white icing, and green sprinkles.

47. Celebrate St. Patty’s Day with some shamrock cake roll.

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Consists of few cake roll slices arranged like a shamrock. Though I’m not sure if it’s in key lime, cashew, or tapioca.

48. Nobody can resist these chocolate mint fudge brownie bars.

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Consists of brownie at the bottom, green mint filling in the middle, and chocolate fudge on top. And yes, they sure look tasty.

49. Care for a Lucky Charms cupcake?

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Each of these his decked with Lucky Charms marshmallows. Love the configuration on these.

50. Any cake can be a pot of gold.

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Just add some vanilla Oreos and take them apart. Doesn’t matter if the cake is white with green edging.

51. You can’t have a better St. Patrick’s Day treat than a thin mint cheesecake.

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You can see the thin mints on top with the white icing tuffs. Yet, the cake is a light minty green.

52. Nothing makes a better St. Patty’s Day snack with some Guinness mix.

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Consists of pretzels, shamrocks, and beer glasses. Some of these are candy items.

53. You can’t resist these green shamrock cookies.

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These have white icing on them that’s in a cross. Some even have green sugar on them.

54. How about some shamrock bread with your St. Patty’s Day dinner?

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You can at least pull these apart. Though I’m not sure how much you can take as a serving.

55. You can’t get enough of this Oreo cookie trifle.

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This one has some minty green icing. Also consists of Oreo bits on the bottom, fudge, and other chocolate bits.

56. You can’t have St. Patrick’s Day without some fancy gobs like this.

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Okay, they’re more like cupcakes. Yet, each consist of a 2 layers of green icing with chocolate cookies on top.

57. Bet you’ve never seen shamrock cookies like these.

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These have green icing inside. Perfect for any Saint Patrick’s Day dessert platter.

58. Feel free to dip your chocolate cookies in chocolate.

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Just make sure the chocolate has green shamrock sprinkles. Just a little FYI.

59. Care for some stained glass shamrock cookies?

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Wonder how they pull it off. And what the hell the filling is made out of?

60. Go green with your mashed potatoes this Saint Patrick’s Day.

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And you don’t need food coloring either. Just put some greens and chives and mixed them with the mashed potatoes. Simple.

61. Get lucky with these rainbow fortune cookies.

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Not sure what the fortunes may hold. But the colors are surely vibrant. Wow.

62. You can’t go wrong with a St. Patrick’s Day dessert pizza.

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This one is covered in white icing with green and chocolate drizzle. Also got a lot of chunks of Andes candies.

63. You can’t go wrong with these cookie bars.

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Consists of brownie and chocolate chip cookie dough. Decorated with mint Oreo bits and green M&Ms.

64. Want to try a slice of rainbow cake?

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You can see the colors inside. Though it includes pink for some reason.

65. You can’t go wrong with a rainbow candy bar.

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It’s actually a cake with rainbow layers inside and covered with chocolate. Also covered with rainbow sprinkles.

66. Want a leprechaun in your Guinness treat.

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This is a cake pop with a large leprechaun head. Also has a green ice cream cone hat.

67. No kid can resist a shamrock Rice Krispie treat.

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Each of these is covered in green icing with green sprinkles. Great for any Saint Patrick’s Day party.

68. A brownie can always use some green icing.

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And yes, they’re showy and vibrant. Also covered with sprinkles.

69. You can’t get enough these shamrock Oreos.

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Some of these are sprinkles. Some of these are candies. But all look delicious.

70. You can’t get luckier with these smiley face St. Patrick’s Day cookies.

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These are cookies you can get from Eat n’ Park, which is the place for smiles. It’s a local restaurant chain from where I live. It’s like Denny’s but better. If you have kids, they’ll give one of these cookies to them for free.

71. You got to love St Patrick’s Day cookies like these.

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Consists of leprechauns and hats, beer, pots of gold, and a fancy shamrock. The leprechauns hats look straight out of Dr. Seuss.

72. Hope you can try this pretzel shamrock.

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Might need to take it apart and share. Also comes with green mustard to dip in, which is kind of wild.

73. You’ll be near the pot of gold with these rainbow meringues.

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Yes, these are cookies. And yes, they’re in a rainbow swirl. But I’m confident they don’t have any acid inside them.

74. You’ll find plenty of shamrocks in these Rice Krispie treats.

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The shamrock marshmallows are from Lucky Charm of course. Perfect for St. Patrick’s Day.

75. Don’t forget to add a thin mint in a cupcake.

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These are on mini cupcakes. And yes, the Girl Scout cookie sits on green mint icing.

76. You can’t go wrong with this St. Patrick’s Day veggie platter.

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And you should have no trouble finding green veggies either. Since that basically consists of most of them.

77. Want a chocolate cheesecake shamrock?

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It’s basically a green cheesecake and chocolate brownie mixed together. Love the swirls.

78. You’ll be lucky to have a rice leprechaun hat.

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These are covered in icing. Love the belt and buckle decorations. So simple.

79. How about some rainbow brownie bars?

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These are in swirly rainbow patterns. Kind of groovy don’t you think?

80. Please your guests with some mint chocolate chip fudge.

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Seem to more or less resemble brownies to me. Yet, I bet they taste spectacular.

The Wonderful World of the Teddy Bear (Fifth Edition)

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A popular Valentine’s Day present is a stuffed bear with moveable arms and legs. Since its introduction in 1903 and named after Teddy Roosevelt, these toys have become among the most popular ever since. After all, they’re fuzzy, cute, cuddly, and you can dress them up however you like. Thus, you can see all kinds of teddy bears dressed for holidays, special occasions, and characters from pop culture. There are even teddy bear museums where these toys reenact certain scenes. So for your reading pleasure, I give you another assortment of adorable teddy bears. Enjoy.

  1. Don’t mess with the Undertakebear.

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He’s based on the WWE wrestler, the Undertaker. Wonder why he’s not wearing a shirt with his suit.

2. You’d swear this teddy bear can glow in the dark.

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Actually, it lights up inside. I’m sure batteries are included.

3. Make way for the Teddy bear fashion show.

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Come see the latest fashions in chic bear couture. I’m sure the clothes won’t come cheap.

4. Mother Theresa helps the poor bears of Calcutta.

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Sure, she may not be the saint we think she is. But come on, she and her bear order nuns look cute in these sari habits.

5. You’d think this bear was some Einstein.

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Okay, he’s supposed to be dressed like famous physicist Albert Einstein. Has E=mc squared on his paw.

6. Watch out for that iceberg.

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This is supposed to be the teddy bear version of the Titanic. A lot of bears lost their lives that night.

7. He’s all dressed with a place to go.

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Here’s a Boyd bear with a small suitcase. Wonder why he travels light.

8. In China, don’t forget to see the tomb of Emperor Qin.

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This one has a bear terra cotta army. And yes, bear tourists take pictures of them.

9. Germany unites with the fall of the Bearlin Wall.

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Here some bear tears down the wall which will later symbolize the fall of Communism. So East and West Germany can unite as one.

10. These bears are globe trekking.

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Since they’re a family of tourists. Though I don’t think tourists dress like these bears in real life. So cute.

11. “Growl once again, my dear, our strange duet….”

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This is a Phantom o the Opera bear. Hopefully, he doesn’t sing like Gerard Butler.

12. You won’t be chilly for this Winterland Queen bear.

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She wears a blue sparkly dress. Not to mention, she’s a ripoff on Queen Elsa from Frozen.

13. You’d admire this bear’s hat with flowers.

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She wears a purple hat with deep pink flowers all made out of felt. Also like the purple sash. So pretty.

14. Joe Biden is ready to run again.

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Though so far, he hasn’t managed to gain much traction. As we can see with the results in Iowa.

15. Santa finishes one more wooden soldier.

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Here he’s in his workshop making toys. Before he goes out to deliver them for that one night.

16. You’ll find nothing wooden with this nutcracker.

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Well, this bear is dressed up as one. But he won’t really crack nuts. Because he’s plush wearing felt clothes.

17. This bear’s got a plain habit.

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Since he’s a monk. So he’s just wearing a plain black robe. So cute.

18. Beware the Queen of Hearts.

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Because if you slight her, she’ll have you beheaded. Doesn’t matter if you’re an outsider or one of her card soldiers.

19. Let’s make this landing at Omaha Beach.

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Yes, these bears are reenacting D-Day. And yes, some of them will not survive the invasion. But they’re fighting Nazis for God’s sake.

20. This Teddy Bear is ready to ride.

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Since he’s a teddy bear of Teddy Roosevelt. For the teddy bear’s named after him.

21. Want a cold drink with this polar bear?

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No thanks for me since I don’t drink pop. But he’s nevertheless an iconic bear that you see around Christmas.

22. The Pope emerges to greet the crowds.

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Here he stands between 2 cardinal bears with his long crucifix staff. Yet, unlike human popes, he doesn’t wear shoes.

23. You’d think this bear was out on safari.

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Since he’s clearly wearing such an expedition outfit. Even carries a sleeping mat. So cute.

24. This chili pepper will bring some spice to your life.

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It even comes with maracas. You’d almost think it works at a Mexican restaurant.

25. You’d might want to party with this bear.

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Since he’s dressed as a glass of beer. Though I’d recommend not to let him drive you home from the bar.

26. Many swear to have seen this Sasquatch bear.

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He’s fuzzier than most. Yet, despite numerous sightings, scientists question his existence.

27. Dr. Bear wants you to brush your teeth.

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Though there’s only a 1 out of 3 chance he accepts Medicaid. If you live in the US, that is

28. Here some rich bears gather for a game of polo.

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They ride on plush horses and use sticks to move a ball. And no, I don’t understand how polo works.

29. This bear works all the livelong day on the railroad.

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This train engineer bear wears a striped hat and coveralls. But modern train engineers don’t usually wear such apparel.

30. Check out the tatt on this sailor.

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It’s one of a heart on his arm. Yet, how can you tattoo a bear, I have no idea.

31. The Korean streets are rather bustling.

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This one has marketplaces, tables, and a tent. Then again, it might be outside the palace.

32. Someone’s ready for a summer’s day.

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Though I’m not sure if she’s just going on a summer stroll to the park or the beach. Then again, she’s not wearing tennis shoes so it’s probably the latter.

33. Here we come across a royal procession.

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Okay, this is a Korean procession. Since a lot of teddy bear museums are in South Korea for some reason. But you have to admire the time and effort people put into this.

34. This bear will put out fires for you.

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Okay, maybe not. But you can cuddle with him as your relationship with your significant other crashes and burns.

35. Someone’s ready to race for once.

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Since he’s the cutest auto racer you’ll ever see. Hope his car doesn’t crash and burn.

36. This guy always supports his mom.

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For he’s her #1 fan. Though at least he’s not creepy about it. Unlike Oedipus.

37. You’d make yourself at home in this Korean village.

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Yes, you find a lot of Korean stuff in these teddy bear museums. Since most of them are from South Korea. Don’t know why that is.

38. Teddy bears construct some Buddhist statues.

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Guess this is for a temple or shrine. Not sure why the golden Buddha statues don’t look like bears.

39. This bear pilot is ready for takeoff.

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Sure his plane doesn’t seem ready to fly. But he doesn’t seem to mind.

40. Guess Koreans really know how to put on a festival.

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This one seems to have plenty of ceremonial dancers. From a teddy bear museum in Seoul.

41. The Netherlands has a peaceful countryside.

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This one features windmills and tulip fields. So you can guess this is a Dutch display.

42. The Korean king sits on his throne.

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Guess this ceremony must’ve taken place between the 19th century and the Korean War. Because we know the Korean kingdom’s no more nowadays.

43. She’s all dressed up for a night on the town.

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Here she wears a red dress and carries a purse. Like the matching bows on her dress and ear.

44. She decided to go summer casual today.

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Here she wears a striped top with jean. Also carries a purse. Like the gold buttons.

45. You’ll be enchanted by this fancy dress ball.

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The display’s not very big. Yet, you’d have to admire the fancy clothes, especially the dresses.

46. These bears go to visit Mount Bearmore.

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It’s basically a teddy bear version of Mount Rushmore. And yes you got some teddy bears in the foreground.

47. “Cubs, start your lessons.”

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This is an old fashioned school house scene from a teddy bear museum in Germany. Because each kid has their own chalk board.

48. This teddy bear is a wizard.

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Since he’s a Harry Potter bear. shown with his scar, hat, and Quidditch broom.

49. How about a trip to the zoo?

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Some of the animals here are in plush as well. While the bears frequent the premises. Wonder what the bear exhibit is like.

50. You’d think this angel is heaven sent.

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She’s a Boyd’s Bear. She wears a dress and felt wings.

51. These servants always work long hours.

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This is from a teddy bear museum in Dorset. And yes, these servants are washing dishes.

52. You’d think this family is rather well-to-do.

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You’d see a family like this on Downton Abbey. Except that they’re bears. From a teddy bear museum in Dorset.

53. Steve Jobs unveils the latest Apple product.

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He stands near a chair in a black turtleneck. Though his claws won’t hurt you.

54. Klawlo Ren will finish what his grandfather started.

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Though watch out when he whips up his lightsaber. Since he’s been known to go to town on it like slicing and smashing things.

55. This bear’s not afraid of no ghost.

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This is a ghostbuster bear. So it has the logo on its paw inside its shoes.

56. With Genie bear, he’ll grant you 3 wishes at your command.

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I’m sure this one was for the live-action remake with Will Smith. As I can tell from the beard and outfit.

57. Rey always knows how to fight with her staff.

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Of course, her bear version doesn’t have her intricate hairstyle. But wait until she gets a hold on a lightsaber.

58. Darth Bearder’s on the Dark Side of the Force.

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And yes, he’s black with ears on his helmet. But he still needs to wear his suit in order to live. After what Obi Wan Kenobi did to him.

59. Secret agent or fashionista?

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Since this bear’s wearing a black coat and sunglasses. So you may never know.

60. “Sheriff Woody, at your service…”

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Here this bear wears the Woody get up. Afraid of getting replaced by a space toy, if Buzz Lightyear gets any hint.

61. Deadpool would like to propose.

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Here he goes on one knee with a ring. Great for a guy who wants to marry a girl who likes Marvel and has a sense of humor.

62. Jasmine can always be a princess to impress.

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Though you have to admit, she does have daddy issues. Yet, she doesn’t hold the lamp in either the Disney or the live-action version.

63. Captain America is American patriotism personified.

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He also shows the wonders of performance enhancement drugs in the Marvel universe. Still, this bear of him is blue.

64. Cinderella is all dressed for the ball.

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Though the magic will wear off by midnight. So she’ll only have her glass slippers left. Or one glass slipper left since she left the other at the ball.

65. Queen Elsa knows how to stage a freeze.

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Here she’s in her Frozen II outfit. Seems more at home with herself than in the last movie where she doomed her kingdom to eternal winter.

66. Someone can use another tissue.

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This is a get well bear in pajamas. Then again, he’s got a hanky so he’s good. So cute.

67. You’ll be fine against this Stormtrooper bear.

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Because while Stormtroopers may shoot up a place, they usually don’t hit anything. Though they can be dangerous.

68. Harley Quinn is no laughing matter.

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Yet, for God’s sake, don’t romanticize her relationship with the Joker. Because he’s a raging psychopath who’s very abusive to her.

69. No one can resist this Ewok bear.

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Ewoks are pretty much teddy bears to begin with. But they will try to eat you and kick your ass.

70. Rapunzel gets all Tangled.

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Her bear’s purple with long blond hair. But not long enough to hang from a tower to use as a ladder. That wouldn’t be safe for kids.

71. It’s a tale as old as time.

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These are Beauty and the Beast bear set. Come with a rose. So adorable.

72. Ariel comes from under the sea.

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She’s basically a teenager who sold her voice for some plastic surgery. And from a shady sea witch no less.

73. This Irish lass can dance.

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For she’s an Irish river dancer. Even has her dancing shoes on.

74. Greetings from Hawaii.

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She wears a hula skirt, a flower lei, and a coconut bra. Hope se doesn’t dance when the volcano blows.

75. No one can stop Captain Marvel.

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Here she springs into action. Know that she’s about as powerful as Superman.

76. “Give me your tired, your poor, your huddled masses yearning to breathe free….”

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She wears the green garb of Lady Liberty. Unfortunately, her words are being undermined by Donald Trump’s anti-immigration policies and family separations.

77. Gotham’s Dark Knight lingers in the shadows.

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This bear wears a mask and cape. And he’ll beat the hell out of villains from Arkham Asylum.

78. Thanos Bear wants to wipe half of the universe.

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Already he’s got his Infinity gauntlet on. Uh-oh. Don’t have a good feeling about this.

79. Girl Scout bears always bring in the cookies.

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Here they wear outfits denoting ranks. But please pay for the cookies or they will end you.

80. “Shitter’s full.”

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He’s supposed to be a Cousin Eddie bear. Still, don’t all bears shit in the woods?

 

 

Fall in Love with These Valentine’s Day Craft Projects (Fifth Edition)

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Now that February has come upon us, let’s get into some Valentine’s Day crafts. Of course, you can see I went with the a school room design instead of someone’s living room. Well, it helps to try something different once in a while. Nonetheless, classrooms are often places you see V-Day crafts though most of these are made of paper. Of course, unless they’re rather impressive school craft projects, I usually don’t touch upon them. Since most of them I usually list are made from adults. Anyway, for your reading pleasure, I give you another assortment of lovely Valentine’s Day crafts.

  1. You can spell love on this heart.
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This is a wooden heart made from 2 pieces. The “LOVE” squares are Scrabble tiles and they’re not worth much.

2. Perhaps you might send a valentine with a decomesh wreath.

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This one his heart-shaped. Says, “Happy Valentine’s Day” in the center.

3. A Valentine’s Day wreath can use a few hearts.

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This one has plenty of red hearts. Still, I love the fancy white ribbon around it.

4. You might prefer a wreath with cloth hearts.

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Well, the hearts are in the pattern. Nonetheless, you have to love the felt flowers.

5. You can’t hang too many hearts on a wall.

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There’s a checked heart, a red heart, and 2 gold hearts. All with fancy ribbon decorations. So pretty.

6. Light up your home with a Valentine’s Day glass block light.

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This one has hearts and foil inside. Has a bow of red heart ribbon on top.

7. Touch your look with a few roses.

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This is a hairband. The red, pink, and white roses are made of felt.

8. So many blue hearts can make a big impression.

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The large heart is made of a bunch of blue hearts. While a medium red heart inside carries the message.

9. A heart wreath can use a few roses.

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This one has some pink and white roses. Also, you can see a golden arrow shot through it.

10. You don’t know what’s kept in this book.

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Since it’s fastened. Then again, this just might be a decoration you can set on your fireplace mantle.

11. A Valentine’s Day paper wrapper wreath is always suited for a window pane.

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This one has polka dots on the red and white on the wrappers. And the window pane isn’t attached to anything.

12. Perhaps you’d like a simple heart suncatcher.

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This one has a plastic bead string. While the crystal heart shines like the sun. Whenever the sun shines through it.

13. A Valentine’s Day ribbon wreath might suit you.

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This one also has ribbon flowers. While the ribbons covering the wreath all have hearts.

14. A Valentine heart can always use a few flowers.

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This one is a cushion with some felt flowers. Like the bead and red lace trim.

15. A heart of roses should always have a frame.

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Well, the roses are probably made of paper. But the frame is quite fancy.

16. Care for a Valentine’s Day heart necklace?

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The heart is made out of metal with gold wires containing pearls and jewel beads. So pretty.

17. You can use a few hearts on the wall.

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These consists of cloth hearts and felt roses glued on the samplers. Great for any home on V-Day.

18. Feel free to make a wreath of pink clothespins.

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Of course, you might have to paint the clothespins pin first. Though you have to admire the hearts, roses, and bow.

19. Count down to Valentine’s Day with this heart calendar.

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Though I can totally wait for Valentine’s Day. But this advent calendar is quite cute.

20. Anyone would fall in love with this button heart.

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And yes, it’s in a frame. Funny how all the red buttons are the same size and color.

21. How about a wreath of paper hearts?

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This one has hearts made of construction paper. While each heart has gold edging.

22. Grace your V-Day door with this pink bauble wreath.

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This one has baubles of different sizes. Like he pink butterflies. So pretty.

23. Don’t like wreaths? Show your love with this cork heart.

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Well, the corks of all different sizes. Says “Love” in red and white pipe cleaners.

24. Show your love on V-Day with these love blocks.

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Each of these is in a whimsical shape and pattern. While the “O” is a heart.

25. Serve your guests wine from this glitter bottle.

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Yes, this bottle is covered with glitter. And yes, the wine is still in it. Not sure why.

26. Show your love with this berry wreath.

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The berries are fake. The wooden letters say “Love”. Like the flower near the top best.

27. Step out on V-Day with this charm bracelet.

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This one has a some heart charms. Like the clastic crystal jewels.

28. Grace your door with this burlap heart wreath.

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Has a large burlap bow on it, too. A simple design for any rustic setting.

29. You’ll find plenty of hearts in this envelope.

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This one has a few hearts in different patterns. Includes berry branches as well.

30. Perhaps a heart stick wreath might suit you.

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Includes 3 hearts with woven basket patterns. Also consists of a large red bow.

31. A candle can use a few hearts.

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The hearts are pink with wires linking with each other. Hope they don’t burn up.

32. You can use a few hearts on a tulle wreath.

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Each of the tulle pieces are tied on the wreath. While the 3 hearts glitter.

33. Don’t like these? You might like this wall hanging.

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This one has a lot of ribbons. “Love” consists of black wires. Includes a glittery red heart.

34. Care for a heart of paper roses?

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The roses are of different sizes and colors. And all on a gray background.

35. Here we find love all framed.

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Well, each individual letter is framed. And all hanging on a ribbon to a window.

36. A heart can consist of a variety of buttons.

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These are all in different sizes and colors. And they’re all sewn on a plain pillow.

37. Greet your V-Day guests with this flowery yarn wreath.

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The flowers are made from felt. Like the colors on the wreath though.

38. A V-Day wreath should always consist of red roses.

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And they’re all arranged in a heart. I’m sure the roses are made from silk. So pretty.

39. You’ll get plenty of hugs and kisses from this ribbon wreath.

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The top consists of glitter hearts. The bottom consists of glitter “XOXO.”

40. Don’t like wreaths? Go with this wall hanging of hearts.

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Consists of 2 checked hearts. While plenty of small red hearts add some emphasis. Like the bow.

41. Grace your V-Day door with this fancy ribbon wreath.

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The ribbons mostly consists of bows. While it’s touched with a hollow red glitter heart.

42. Grace your V-Day table with this glittery basket.

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Has some paper bag strips inside. Like the glitter heart. So pretty.

43. Doily hearts always belong in a frame.

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Of course, they’re made of paper. Though I love the background and purple frame.

44. You might want some tree branches in a heart basket.

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Well, the basket has a wooden heart over it. While the basket has branches and berries inside.

45. Don’t like wreaths? Go with a simple glass panel and a heart.

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The heart is made out of yarn. While the panel and heart are held by a white bow.

46. You can always show love with flowers.

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The Letters are made from wood. While the “O” is a heart containing pink roses.

47. You can have love in a purple heart frame.

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Well, it says “LOVE” in a purple heart frame. Like the crown and pink roses. So pretty.

48. Declare your love on this Valentine’s Day with flowers.

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Well, the flowers are all in vases. 4 of them spell out “LOVE” in black letters.

49. A rustic wreath will suit you this Valentine’s Day.

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This one consists of gourds and berries. While a black heart sign says “Love” in the center.

50. A heart tulle wreath can really make an impression.

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You can see it consists of red, pink, and white pieces. Also includes ribbons and hearts.

51. Show love this Valentine’s Day with this wooden panel.

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This red panel says “LOVE” in white letters. The “O” consists of a heart with an arrow shot through it.

52. A burlap “Love” wreath is all you need.

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It’s in the shape of a heart, too. Great for rustic settings. So pretty.

53. A fancy heart can always use some flowers.

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Well, this one is in a fancy white frame and grapevine wreath Like the roses and bow. So lovely.

54. A V-Day wreath should always have a touch of gold.

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This one has gold baubles and ribbons. Also includes 2 hearts near the bottom.

55. A large V-Day heart can be quite festive.

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This one has bows and a large heart with pink spots. Also consists of bows and other festive trimmings.

56. Care for a heart rag wreath?

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This one has red, white, and pink strips all over a wire frame. Great for any rustic door. So pretty.

57. Put a ball of roses over a door frame.

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This are pink roses. Though I’m not sure I’d recommend you hang them on a door frame. It’s not mistletoe.

58. Show your love by saying it in blocks.

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Each is in pink, red, and white. And yes, they’ve got a bunch of popular V-Day sayings.

59. Don’t forget to put a flower on top of a gift box.

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This one is a paper with heart-patterned petals. Hell, the petals are even shaped like hearts.

60. Sweeten your Valentine’s Day with this sweetheart wreath.

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This one is wrapped with fibrous string with pearls. consists of white and pink roses and a banner spelling out “SWEET.”

61. A heart panel should always contain a few flowers.

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This one has some flowers painted. While some are made out cloth. Also decorated with pearls and lace.

62. How about a heart wreath made of roses?

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Well, the roses are hear are fake. Yet, they’re in all various shades of pink.

63. Nobody can resist these love bugs.

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These are made from styrofoam balls with black pipe cleaner antennae and appendages. Some are ladybugs and bees.

64. Got some striped straws? Make a display like this.

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The paper straws have red and white stripes. Some have pink. And they all radiate a single red heart.

65. How about a heart with lights.

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The lights are all set on a pink panel. Wonder how you turn it off or on. So lovely.

66. Perhaps you might prefer some laced hearts.

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These are in all different designs. A couple contain buttons, too. So lovely.

67. A Valentine’s Day wreath should always shine.

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This one seems like it’s straight from a party store. Has a heart in the center and a heart bow on top.

68. Feel free to use the key to this heart box.

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The heart box is silver with glitter on top. The key is tied with it using a red ribbon.

69. Care for a hanging heart cushion?

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This one has a heart of flowers printed in the center. Wonder how that’s possible.

70. You can’t celebrate Valentine’s Day without these heart trees.

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Well, the hearts are paper and act like branches and leaves. One even has hearts and keys on them.

71. A stair bannister should always have a garland of hearts.

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Well, these have hearts hanging from it. Most of them are made from cloth. So pretty when it lights up.

72. A V-Day decomesh wreath like this will surely suit you fine.

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Has some heart decorations on the left side. Many in red and pink glitter.

73. Show your love with this panel.

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Says “LOVE” in black letters. “O” is a red heart with wire hearts inside.

74. How about a garden of conversation hearts?

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Well, the fence and hearts are made out of wood. Great for an elementary school classroom.

75. Might want to put some hearts on a clothes line.

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The hearts are made from felt. A simple craft project for almost anyone, including kids.

76. A shiny heart can always light.

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This heart is covered with gold and silver sequins And yes, the lights do shine bright.

77. You’ll find plenty of hearts in this jar.

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Well, the hearts are plush and on sticks. But will last longer on your table than a conventional bouquet.

78. A heart wreath of crocheted roses must delight.

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Most of these are in red and pink. Perfect to hang over a window. So pretty.

79. Care for a wreath of roses?

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Most of the roses on this wreath are felt. And they’re all in shades of red, pink, and white. So pretty.

80. A white rose wreath has some added simplicity.

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This one is in a heart shape and is a grapevine. Also matches the door behind it.

81. Grace your V-Day door with a wreath of pom poms.

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It’s heart-shaped with pom poms in shades of pink and purple. You can even see a bit of how these are made.

82. Make this V-Day festive with a pink tulle wreath.

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There’s leopard print flowers on top. While a fancy designed heart sits at the bottom.

83. A white decomesh heart wreath might suit you.

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Has some decorations on the left side. Features, red hearts, pink flowers, and bow with hearts.

84. A cupcake liner wreath will always impress.

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This one has a flower on the bottom. It’s made out of cupcake liners and felt. So pretty.

85. Impress your sweetheart with this large rose heart.

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Okay the flowers are fake. While a gold arrow shoots through it. Yet, it’s in 2 shades of pink.

86. 2 hearts always beat as one.

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This one has roses aside of 2 glitter hollow hearts. Makes a great centerpiece.

87. If you like sewing, you’ll love this wall hanging.

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Since it consists of pink sewing stuff. Though you’ll find pink flowers in the center.

88. Give hugs and kisses with these panels.

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These consists of wooden X’s and O’s. The O’s are hearts and are wrapped with cloth.

89. A small tree can use some hearts.

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This one has plenty of heart ornaments in felt. And yes, there’s a large red heart on top. So pretty.

90. Care for a striped wooden heart?

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This one is white with pink stripes. Also contains a burlap bow.

91. Adorn yourself with some small crocheted flowers.

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These are red, pink, and purple roses. And I’m not sure if they’re used as a hairclip or pin.

92. This heart is quite stringy.

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Since it’s made from string on a red board. And yes, there’s a heart in the center.

93. A berry wreath might suit you fine.

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Okay, the berries are fake. Though I love the burlap bow with the heart.

94. A pink decomesh V-Day wreath will always suit you nicely.

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This one has silver and pink decorations. Like the silver heart near the top.

95. How about a V-Day wreath with all the trimmings?

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This one has a sign that says, “LOVE.” Also consists of flowers and hearts.

96. Keep your little one warm with these V-Day leg warmers.

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These are made from sleeves. As you can see, they also depict hearts.

97. You can play tic-tac-toe on this pillow.

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The X’s and hearts are made from felt. Perfect for keeping the kids busy.

98. Ever wonder what’s in this box?

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Well, it’s a V-Day box with a digital lock. So you can’t easily open it.

99. You might sleep well with this dreamcatcher.

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This one is purple with a heart. Even has hearts near the feathers. So pretty.

100. Bring in the festivity with this shiny heart bauble wreath.

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This one has some shiny stuff on the left. While the baubles cluster together on e right. So pretty. Love it.

Be Mine With These Valentine’s Day Treats (Sixth Edition)

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Now we come to the V-Day treats. Whether for a romantic dinner, party, or school, you’ll find plenty of heart shaped, red, or pink foods if you try to do a Google Image search. Of course, you can find heart-shaped candies at the store. Yet, that would take all the fun out of it. Over the years I’ve done these treat posts, I’ve seen plenty of hearty foods to impress one’s love. Mainly cakes, cookies, and other dessert platter goodies. But I’ve also seen other stuff as well. So for your reading pleasure, I give you another assortment of Valentine’s Day treats. Enjoy.

  1. You’ll find plenty of roses on these cookies.
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These have pink, red, and yellow roses that are so small you need a professional to make them in icing. But they do look nice on a platter.

2. You’ll find a heart on these square cookies.

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Not sure what the hearts are made of or if they’re even edible. But I love the intricate designs on the square cookies.

3. Wake up this V-Day with strawberries and cream donuts.

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These are heart-shaped donuts with strawberry icing. Great for any V-Day breakfast that’s hard on the arteries.

4. Hope you can dig in a peanut butter heart.

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These are covered with chocolate. Though you might have to eat it with a fork.

5. You’ll find berries in these V-Day sandwiches.

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I guess these are for dessert since they contain raspberries and cream cheese. Not sure what the hearts are made of.

6. You’ll find a lot of hugs and kisses on these macarons.

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The X’s and O’s are in gold. Great for any V-Day dessert platter.

7. These square V-Day cookies will warm your heart.

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Some contain hearts. Some don’t have them at all. But all must be professionally made as I can see it.

8. Show your love with this heart shaped blueberry cake.

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This one is in a heart shaped pan with a hole inside. Great for any V-Day dessert platter.

9. Kids would adore these Cheerios heart-shaped bars.

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They even contain V-Day M&Ms for color and flavor. Great for serving to school kids.

10. Pretzel hearts make a fine Valentine’s Day treat.

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These are all covered with chocolate and pink sprinkles on one side. Why that is, I have no idea.

11. Nobody can resist these cookie sandwiches.

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These have some jelly in between them. Also have heart-shaped chocolates on top.

12. You’ll find this cake all covered with hearts.

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The hearts are pink. While the edges are decked with small pink flowers. Not sure of the shiny pears are edible though.

13. You can decorate a red heart cookie in many different ways.

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You can see the the different designs like dots and sprinkles. Like the one with roses the best.

14. How about a V-Day ravioli pasta dish?

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This one is a heart-shaped lasagna. And yes, you have to serve it in parts.

15. Care for some fancy gingerbread hearts?

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These are professionally made obviously. But you have to love the lovely designs on them. So pretty.

16. You’ll find hearts coming out of these red cookies.

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Well, the hearts are white. Not sure if they’re edible. Great for any dessert platter on Valentine’s Day.

17. How about some heart tarts on sticks?

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These have filling in them. And you can eat them without a fork. But still use a plate.

18. On Valentine’s Day, pink heart cookies are the best.

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These are even covered in chocolate icing. Yet, all have pink designs like dots, hearts, and XO’s.

19. Want to profess your love? Say it with cookies.

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These are chocolate chip cookies covered with icing. Decorated with sugar stuff you find at the store.

20. Make sure your cupcakes have plenty of hugs and kisses.

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Each one has an X or O in red M&Ms. The O’s are shaped like hearts.

21. Nothing makes your V-Day like these cupcakes.

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Well, these are professionally made. But they’re decorated in many different ways.

22. You got to love these heart cookie sandwiches.

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Well, they have pink icing filling. While cookies have holes in them to make them seem like they’re professionally made.

23. Want some fruity yogurt bars?

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These are pink with hearts on them. Seem to be made from big Reese’s cup molds for some reason.

24. Want a large chocolate heart?

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Well, it’s mostly a white chocolate heart. Yet, it’s in a pot of V-Day M&Ms.

25. Grace your V-Day dessert platter with these cupcakes.

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Each of these has a red candy heart on top. Can have pink or white icing.

26. Heart muffins are great for your V-Day breakfast.

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These even have sprinkles on them. So they can appeal to the kids.

27. Rose cupcakes should always be in a heart.

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These are in reddish pink. One has a white heart on them. So pretty.

28. Perhaps you might want a chocolate cake with a powdered heart.

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I’m sure the white heart is made out of sugar. Makes a great feature on your V-Day dessert platter.

29. Care for some chocolate hearts?

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These are decorated with white or pink icing and chocolate drizzle. Some also have sprinkles.

30. Care for some hearty blueberry pie?

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This one has hearts on the crust that are on top of each other. Wonder how you can cut this. in equal slices.

31. You’ll find a heart inside these heart-shaped tarts.

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These have jelly inside. And yes, you have to put two of the hearts together.

32. How about some chocolate chip heart?

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This one is covered in chocolate icing. Great for any V-Day dessert platter.

33. Wake up to some V-Day pancakes.

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These have pink icing and raspberries on them. And yes, they’re chocolate with one on top of the other.

34. Care for a heart tart?

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This one has a heart made from strawberries and raspberries. And all on top of white icing.

35. These little cheese ball monsters just want your love.

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Well, they’re different from the other monsters I showed in a previous post because they have antennae of pasta. While the hearts on top are sprinkles. So cute.

36. Get a load of some pink heart Rice Krispie treats.

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They’re in a variety of shades and sizes. Some even have sprinkles on them.

37. Nothing makes V-Day like these strawberry ice cream sandwiches.

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Each of them has ice cream between 2 cookies. Decorated with Valentine’s Day sugar hearts.

38. You can decorate pink chocolate heart however you’d like.

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One has sprinkles. One has chocolate chip candies. One has both. And all on sticks.

39. You got to love a cupcake with a marshmallow heart.

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These have chocolate icing as well. While the marshmallow hearts are probably pink.

40. Nothing makes a V-Day party like jello hearts.

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And they’re all in cupcake wrappers. Make sure to ask your host if they contain alcohol before any kids get a hold of them.

41. These V-Day Oreos are an utter delight.

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These have chocolate icing and edible V-Day decorations. Some have hearts. Some have flowers.

42. These heart owl cookies are major hoot.

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These have candy eyes and noses. The eyes kind of resemble flowers. So adorable.

43. You can dip these breadstick hearts in some tomato sauce.

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Okay, these aren’t technically breadsticks since they’re heart-shaped. But they’re made from the same stuff as breadsticks.

44. Feast your eyes on these heart-shaped hand pies.

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Not sure what’s inside them. But they certainly don’t look like the pies you eat for dessert.

45. Munch on these heart sandwiches for your V-Day lunch.

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One of them has a window inside. Then again, these might be for dessert. Because I’m not sure if that’s lunch meat or icing.

46. How about a large strawberry heart?

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Well, it’s a heart cake decked with strawberries. But the icing appears to resemble whipped cream.

47. Nothing says love on Valentine’s Day like a couple of heart pizzas.

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One has hearts of pepperoni. The other says “Be Mine” in olives.

48. Perhaps you’d like these fancy heart cookies.

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Two of these have roses. One has an icing design to resemble lace. So pretty.

49. Some might prefer these V-Day ice cream cones.

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Okay, they’re actually ice cream cones with Rice Krispie treats on top. Draped with chocolate and a red candy piece on top.

50. It’s easy to give a kiss on a cupcake.

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I’m sure these lips are just candy that you need to unwrap. Yet, each of is covered with chocolate icing with heart candies.

51. Hope you enjoy these heart brownies.

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They’re also covered in V-Day sprinkles. Perfect for any V-Day dessert platter.

52. Help yourself to some of these Valentine heart cookies.

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These are covered in icing with some color mixed in. Laced with pink and blue icing.

53. Anyone could love these cupcakes.

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These are covered with candy cane icing. And yes, they spell out “LOVE.”

54. Speaking of cupcakes, you might want to celebrate V-Day with these.

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These are decked with a variety of images. Some have roses. Some have hearts. Some have both.

55. These Rice Krispie treats can start a conversation.

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They’re in several different colors with icing inscriptions. Yet. none will taste like anything resembling sugar chalk.

56. You’ll find an arrow in these heart brownies.

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Since Cupid shot through them. Still, the arrows aren’t edible. But they make a handy carrying stick.

57. Perhaps you might love a cake with strawberries.

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Well, this has strawberries all around it. The rest of it is decorated with sprinkles.

58. Care for a heart on a stick?

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These are sugar cookies covered with icing. While decorated with several kinds of sprinkles. Or not.

59. Want a pink fudge heart?

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Okay, they’re covered in sugar. Yet, I’m sure you’d love to take one of them. Or not.

60. You’ll fall in love with these cookies.

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These are covered in pink, yellow, and purple icing. Decorated with white drizzle and sprinkles.

61. You can never be too sweet with these heart cookies.

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These are covered with sugar. While each has a sugar heart in the center.

62. Anyone would love these chocolate heart cookies.

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Sure, they’re professionally made. But they’re nevertheless decorated with icing and in so many ways.

63. Have a slice of this heart pizza.

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Even has some pepperoni hearts. Not sure how to divide it in equal parts.

64. This Valentine’s Day, treat yourself to these love bug cupcakes.

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These are decked like ladybugs. Love the spots on their shells. Some even have hearts.

65. Care for a rose cupcake?

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These have roses on top of white icing. And even better, they’re chocolate.

66. Treat your guests this Valentine’s Day to an apple rose tart.

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These have apple slices shaped like roses. Not sure how big this is supposed to be.

67. Feel free to take one of these red velvet cookies.

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These have white chocolate hearts on them. Perfect for any V-Day dessert platter at any party.

68. Care for an ice cream sandwich?

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These are heart shape and have chocolate chip cookies with ice cream in between. Decorated with sprinkles.

69. These cookies will certainly start a conversation.

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These are covered with sayings and pastel icing. Bet they taste better than the real candies which are composed of sugar chalk.

70. Treat your guests to some hearty pizza.

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This seems like a more conventional pizza. And yes, it’s divided in slices.

71. You can’t go wrong with a sweetheart brownie.

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Well, it’s more of heart-shaped brownie sandwich. Has pink icing and sprinkles inside.

72. Entertain your V-Day guests with this red heart cake.

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This one has a white bow on it. Even has heart decoration on the white ribbon.

73. You’ll go to the dogs with these puppy love cookies.

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They’re heart shaped cookies meant to look like dogs. And yes, you’ll find them adorable.

74. Care to hold some love in a jar.

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Okay, these are cookies. But each is pink with hearts inside.

75. You’ll go bug-eyed with these cupcakes.

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2 of these have ladybugs. One has a bee. And yes, they’re made from candy.

76.  Nothing makes a romantic dinner like a couple of shrimp kabobs.

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This is a restaurant promotion. Yet, the shrimp are in hearts on sticks.

77. You’ll want to have one of these lovestruck pancakes.

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Yes, it’s in an emoji. But you have to admire the hearts in the eyes.

78. Care for a heart shaped sandwich?

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That’s the fanciest sandwich I’ve ever seen. Covered with red pepper bits. Flower is made from a hard-boiled egg.

79. Want to know your fortune?

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This is a pink fortune cookie covered with red heart. Not sure what it says inside.

80. Nothing says Valentine’s Day like a wreath of lovebirds.

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The lovebirds are made from string cheese. And yes, they’re so adorable. Love it.

The Wonderful World of Vintage Valentines (Seventh Edition)

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Now that we’re past Martin Luther King Day, we come to Valentine’s Day. Of course, this involves many people to exchange valentines. Kids give theirs to classmates. Adults give them to their sweethearts. Of course, you’ll find plenty of motifs on them like sentiments of heartfelt love, hearts, Cupid, and other images. Yet, there are some old valentines out there that defy explanation. Some that have cutesy images but suggestive puns. And those that surely wouldn’t fly nowadays. Anyway, for your reading pleasure, I give you another assortment of terrible vintage Valentines.

  1. “To My Valentine: I believe in freedom of the press.”
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Let’s hope he asked for consent first. Still, the guy seems rather excited to embrace his girlfriend. Guess he can’t wait to get it on.

2. “I ‘mascara’ lot for you…”

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Meaning she likes you so much that she’ll apply tons of makeup to look like Tammy Faye Bakker. Or something like that.

3. This seems like a real sausage fest.

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Yeah, I know there’s a suggestive pun behind this. Yet, the girl seems to like what she sees.

4. This couple gives a whole new meaning to “tossed salad.”

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“Tossed salad” is a slang term relating to sex. Also, the carrot is the guy, obviously.

5. Any girl would like a cat who could play piano.

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But apparently, she’s hiding in the spinet. Kind of screwed up if you ask me.

6. Speaking of cats, this one’s throwing herself toward this boy.

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Yes, I know this is screwed up. But given the cat’s a giant who can tear the boy to pieces, I’m not sure how he’ll be able to say no.

7. Want to get your man? Lure him with treats.

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Not sure if the boy’s looking at her or the food. Also, she’s wearing a rather short skirt. Wonder why.

8. This firefighter cat’s burning for you.

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Apparently, he’s also got a rather suggestive stare going on like he’s hungry for something. And it’s not food. While he’s holding the hose over his shoulder.

9. “The future would appear so fine, if you would be my Valentine!”

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Is the boy using a telescope to look at the stars or stalking his sweetheart? If the latter, what the hell’s the girl doing beside him? I’d really like to know that.

10. “I need something permanent – It might as well be you!”

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Okay, the message isn’t too bad. But considering we live in the 21st century, this hasn’t aged well. Sure she’s getting her hair done. But such contraption has been used for sinister purposes in a lot of science fiction more times than I can count.

11. “Who wouldn’t BLOW a guy like you, my valentine.”

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The word “blow” has several meanings. But in this context, it could either mean “kiss,” or a “blow job.” Wouldn’t be surprised if it’s the latter.

12. This wolf is only hungry for love.

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Yes, he’s certainly well-dressed. But despite that male wolves mate for life and make great dads in the wild, being seen as a “wolf” in human society, isn’t really a compliment.

13. “I get a BANG out of you, valentine. Please be mine.”

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Yes, the message is suggestive. But the bear lighting a firecracker isn’t really a smart idea either.

14. Don’t bat about love to this witch.

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Cause if you do, she will put a curse on you that you might not be able to shake off. Also, she could turn you into a toad or simply kill you. Don’t say I didn’t warn you.

15. This hotdog is frankly crazy about his valentine.

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And yes, I’m sure it’s a guy. Because, hotdogs are also known as “wieners.” Nothing to suggest here. Not.

16. Man, Cupid can be very nasty with people’s hearts.

To My Valentine

Since he’s got a heart cooking over a camp fire. Hope he doesn’t intend to eat it later. Oh, wait, he’s munching on it right now.

17. “You’re a good egg! Hope you’ll be my valentine!”

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Yes, these are egg people with limbs. And yes, it’s kind of disturbing if you ask me. Hope they don’t end up scrambled.

18. This apple loves her valentine to the core.

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Of course, being a core means he was once an apple who’s been considerably eaten. But she loves him anyway.

19. If this wolf won’t be your valentine, he’ll blow your house down.

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Of course, being a core means he was once an apple who’s been considerably eaten. But she loves him anyway.

20. Train engineer has eyes for a certain passenger.

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Note how the girl’s showing her legs while sitting on her suitcase. Still, guy needs to keep his eyes on the track at all times.

21. A foxy guy knows what kind of catch you’d be.

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He seems to be looking through the weeds. Nothing creepy about that. Oh, wait, that’s basically stalking.

22. The Big Bad Wolf wants to be Little Red Riding Hood’s valentine.

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So basically the wolf breaking in her grandma’s house, eating her and wearing her clothes was a bad way to handle rejection. Seriously, this valentine is so messed up.

23. “I’m fit to be tied so….be my Valentine!”

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For one, cowboys and Indians weren’t a thing. Also, this valentine seems to make light of Indian atrocities, which is pretty disturbing.

24. “You’re a good skate, Valentine.”

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Though I’m sure any love between these 2 might be strongly one-sided. Given the guy wants to get the hell out. While the girl is like “what gives?”

25. A black girl reads the cards.

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Okay, she’s depicted in a rather offensive racist stereotype. Yeah, not exactly one you’d send to a black person.

26. “You’re just my speed, BIG BOY, an’ I’m sure gonna hold on tight!”

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Girl’s giving a guy a rather suggestive look on that tricycle. Thus, giving the message a rather dirty double meaning.

27. “You’re the model for me. Be my Valentine.”

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This one seems to defy all sense of logic. The frames are hollow. While the painter has a paintbrush like he’s about to paint. How’s that possible?

28. “I aim to tame you, Valentine!”

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Granted, he’s a lion tamer. Yet, he’s got a whip with him. Either he’s using that to subdue his love or he’s into BDSM. Please let it be the latter.

29. “I’d like to haunt you, Valentine.”

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Though this seems less like you’d see in Ghost, and more like you’d see in Harry Potter when Moaning Myrtle shows up. But without the bathroom fixtures in the background.

30. This bear isn’t a bad skate, is he?

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Yet, note that the ice isn’t very sturdy since there’s a hole somewhere. Only a matter of time till the bear falls in.

31. “Warm the ‘COCKLES’ of my heart by being my valentine.”

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The worm seems to have a human face as a rooster towers over it. Not happy where this is heading.

32. “Let’s strike up a match, Valentine!”

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Keep in mind, they’ll probably burn to a crisp. Not to mention, all the other matches in the packet.

33. “To my Valentine, say Yes.”

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Cupid’s whispering in the woman’s ear. While the guy’s looking at the woman’s back and thinking, “Dat ass.” Though I’m sure she’s got her bustle on.

34. “My heart is like a time bomb…”

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Basically ready to burst at any minute. Man, you need to see a doctor. Or the bomb squad.

35. “I’m MUD about you, Valentine!”

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This one just has a flower over a smiling puddle of mud. Not sure how they conduct their relationship.

36. You’d have to have good luck with one’s valentine.

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Yet, getting hit on the head by a giant horseshoe, not so much. Seriously, you might want to see a doctor about that.

37. She’s so cute even the flies love her.

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To be fair, she’s holding toast spread with jelly. Still, you don’t want to attract flies in any capacity.

38. No one likes me. Well, I’ll just eat worms.

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How the hell is this a valentine? Also, who the hell eats worms? That’s disgusting.

39. One’s valentine is the light of their life.

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Here the cat has a pack of matches and a cigarette. Great way to be a good example to the kids. Not.

40. You’d think Bon Jovi received this valentine.

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This one has an arrow through a pillow. And yet, it looks as if it’s bleeding. What the hell?

41. “Picking on you to be my valentine.”

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That doesn’t seem to be a good message. Also, the monkey imagery doesn’t seem to help much. Since they fling feces at each other.

42. “I’ll slave for you, Valentine.”

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Sad how they make a guy willing to do all the chores as a pathetic loser. But to me, it’s an offer worth considering.

43. Lixie loves her candy sticks.

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Though I wonder if she likes something else. Given her suggestive grin at those sticks.

44. He’d like his valentine as a steady diet.

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I understand he wants her as his valentine. But the message can also be suggestive of cannibalism in another point of view.

45. He wants to cement his love.

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Yet, he comes with a mixer. Kind of driving the point too close to home. Seriously, we associate cement with Jimmy Hoffa and the mafia for God’s sake.

46. Don’t mind the jerk at the soda counter.

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The soda jerk guy kind of reminds me of a creepy doll in some horror movie. The girl seems like she’s not wanting his attention either.

47. We go together like leeks and fish.

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Kind of a rather odd pairing. But as long as they have a good relationship, who’s stopping them.

48. “To my Pin-Up Valentine.”

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This alien seems like he’s got some ill intent on his mind. Doesn’t help he’s got gold ears that resemble car horns.

49. Condiment vegetables always belong together.

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