The National Security Threat of Domestic Terrorism (Depicted by the News Media)

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When Americans think about terrorism, they usually imagine 9/11 and other attacks perpetuated by people who aren’t from this country and who aren’t like us. Groups like Al Qaida and ISIS usually come to mind. Yet, while foreign terrorist attacks like 9/11 are enough to make us frightened and willing to send troops to Afghanistan, there’s a national security threat more pressing that most people don’t pay much attention to. It’s called domestic terrorism which refer to terror acts carried out by US citizens or permanent residents on US soil. Domestic terrorists have committed 80% of attacks since 9/11 and killed more Americans on US soil than their foreign counterparts. Under current US law enforcement, the USA PATRIOT ACT defines acts as domestic terrorism those in which:

  • involve acts dangerous to human life that are a violation of the criminal laws of the United States or of any State;
  • appear to be intended –
    1. to intimidate or coerce a civilian population;
    2. to influence the policy of a government by intimidation or coercion;
    3. to affect the conduct of a government by mass destruction, assassination, or kidnapping;
  • occur primarily within the territorial jurisdiction of the United States.
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Accurately referred to as “America’s Favorite Domestic Terrorist,” legendary abolitionist John Brown has become a highly controversial figure both for his anti-slavery ideology as well as his violent tactics. But he perfectly illustrates why Americans may have a hard time recognizing domestic terror even in their American history books.

But when it comes to identifying domestic terrorism in contemporary culture, a lot of Americans struggled since the perpetrators may look like them and may share ideas that they kind of agree with. A good case in point is American abolitionist John Brown who’s known for participating in Bleeding Kansas and trying to overthrow the institution of slavery through staging an unsuccessful raid on Harper’s Ferry in 1859 that killed 7 and injured 10. Brown’s raid on a government arsenal in present day West Virginia clearly fit USA PATRIOT ACT’s definition of domestic terrorism. Brown’s raid involved acts dangerous to human life that violated US and state criminal laws, were clearly intended to intimidate civilians and influence government policy, and definitely occurred on US soil. The fact he believed himself an instrument of God’s wrath in punishing men for the sin of slavery certainly proves that his extremist beliefs had a religious dimension. But since Brown’s motivation behind his attack on Harper’s Ferry was to overthrow the institution of slavery, well, he’s rarely seen as such even by modern day academics. Mostly because Americans agree that slavery was a very terrible sin and the fact it divided the country as well as took 4 year civil war to outlaw it. So in hindsight, Brown’s idea of destroying the institution of slavery through violence isn’t really that crazy (though to a point). And it’s mainly because of Brown’s abolitionist views no matter how extreme they were that he’s often seen as a heroic martyr and visionary to many people. Nevertheless, Brown’s actions prior to the American Civil War and the tactics he chose still make him a very controversial figure today. But Brown’s life and our perception of him illustrate why a lot Americans have difficulty identifying acts of terror by our fellow countrymen in the nation. This is a problem as I explain in this post in FAQ and list format.

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This is a photoshopped picture that advocates gun control. However, it also illustrates the problem the media has with identifying domestic terrorist attacks.

If law enforcement has a clear definition on what domestic terrorism is, why is the term used so subjectively as a media and political term?

It’s mainly because when it comes to domestic terrorism, law enforcement and the mainstream media live in two different realities and have very different motivations for identifying what constitutes one. And the latter usually has more influence on the American people. Since American law enforcement’s main priority is ensuring public safety, their criteria for identifying terrorists acts is based on criteria defined in the USA PATRIOT ACT. So when it comes to defining domestic terrorism, all law enforcement care about is whether the act was criminal and endangered human lives, whether it was intended to promote a political agenda through coercion or intimidation, and whether it was committed by someone who lived in the US on US soil. That’s it. By contrast, the media defines domestic terrorism quite differently through the following criteria:

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One of the most significant factors in how the media determines whether a violent attack is domestic terrorism is the suspect’s identity. If they’re Muslim, chances are that they’ll be labeled as a terrorist is very high.

  1. Perpetrator’s Race and Cultural Identity – If the perpetrator is a Muslim American, their chances of being seen as a domestic terrorist are extremely high regardless of motivation. If it’s a non-Muslim white American with a conventional name, their chances of being seen as a domestic terrorist are usually dependent on other factors. As for the likelihood of non-Muslim blacks and Hispanics perpetrators, it’s very hard to say since both groups are often associated with criminal stereotypes though neither are widely perceived as terrorists.
  2. Perpetrator’s Motivation– Any American Muslim perpetrator who commits an act of terror in the name of Islam will be automatically be labeled a terrorist in the media as well as linked to foreign Islamic terrorist groups like Al-Qaida or the Islamic State. Black and Hispanic perpetrators will only be identified as such if they’re connected to known terrorist groups or embrace an extremist ideology. But when it comes to non-Muslim white terrorists, it can vary considerably depending on their motivation. White violence against women, racial and religious groups, LGBT people, disabled people, and immigrants will usually be seen as hate crimes at best but not always and not without controversy (if the incident is covered at all). Yet, many hate crimes usually qualify under the USA PATRIOT ACT’s definition of domestic terrorism anyway. Anti-abortion and ecological extremists are less likely to be seen as domestic terrorists since a lot of people hold anti-abortion and environmentalist views. So like John Brown, labeling them as such is controversial though they’ll certainly be seen as nuts regardless political ideology. Then you have the anti-government perpetrators whose acts of terror may cause controversy if ever labeled domestic terrorism. This is especially the case when you’re talking about right-wing extremists or the open carry crowd (though open carry may be legal in some states, carrying a gun in public is an act of intimidation and coercion so it qualifies).
  3. Nature of the Attack– In the media, the nature of the attack matters considerably such as the method and body count. Perpetrators who stage bombings that kill lots of people will most likely be seen as domestic terrorists. So would any attacks that involve hijacking, bioweapons, mass poisoning, hostage taking, chemical weapons, kidnapping, and property destruction. Shootings may depend on whether the perpetrator is either Muslim or clearly committing a hate crime. At any rate, they have to involve violence and/or fatalities. Despite causing hundreds of millions in property damage and having a sheer volume of crimes, eco-terrorists aren’t really seen as such since a lot of their crimes don’t get people killed. Same goes for left-wing Communist and anarchist terrorists. Merely using guns to intimidate people based on political ideology may not be labeled as domestic terrorism when it clearly is. Cyberterrorism may get some attention even though it’s not considered such while paper terrorism doesn’t get much attention at all.
  4. Location– Attacks that take place in major cities are more likely to be labeled as domestic terrorism than ones in less urban areas, especially if they take place near places of great significance. In some ways, this makes sense but also ignores a lot of other terror incidents that take place around the country.
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Meanwhile, if the perpetrators in question are white, right-wing, and stage a heavily armed takeover of a national wildlife refuge in Oregon, you might expect headlines like this. Since AP is held to very high journalistic standards, this headline tweet is appalling. These guys aren’t peaceful protesters. They have guns with them and they took over a national wildlife refuge in order to intimidate people and influence government conduct. It’s domestic terrorism, plain and simple.

If you watch TV news, you might get the impression the media is more likely to label a violent incident as domestic terrorism based on a biased set of criteria which gives Americans the impression that terrorists tend to be Islamic extremists. When in reality, Muslim terrorist attacks aren’t a very big threat to national security, even after 9/11. Why the media decide does this:

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Contrary to what you might be accustomed to on the news, anti-government, racist, and other nonjihadist extremist killed nearly twice as many people as those by Islamic jihadist since 9/11. Many Americans don’t realize this, especially if they’re on a steady diet of Fox News. Maybe that’s because most nonjihadist terrorists are white.

  1. Desire to Avoid Controversy– Domestic terrorism is a loaded word. And while the mainstream media likes sensational news stories, they also take great aims to avoid offending people. This is particularly true when a terror incident involves right-wing extremists since a lot of mainstream media outlets are owned by large corporate conglomerates. Some like Fox News even have a right-wing ideology. That’s not to say leftist terrorists exist since they certainly do since Occupy Wall Street might qualify since they have a long list of property crimes, rampant drug use, rape, murder, and assaults. But when Janet Napolitano brought up the threat of right-wing domestic terrorism in 2009, Republicans were furious.
  2. Public’s Unwillingness to Identify with Terrorists– Like I said about terrorists, people are more comfortable to label a terrorist act as such if the perpetrator is different from them. And since a lot of people don’t know anyone who’s Muslim, Muslim perpetrators are more likely to be seen as terrorists than their non-Muslim counterparts. But when a terror incident involves white supremacists and other right-wing extremists, a lot of conservative politicians hesitate to declare it as such. Many of them even downplay dangers posed by right-wing extremism altogether. This is especially when Fox News glorifies a Nevada rancher who engaged in an armed standoff against the feds over grazing rights and a bunch of armed men for occupying a federal wildlife refuge in Oregon and the fact the current GOP presidential nominee has been endorsed by white supremacists. When it comes to right-wing domestic terrorism, most conservatives are like Draco Malfoy. Sure they may be totally comfortable having racist, xenophobic, homophobic, sexist, and anti-government views. And yes, they may not be happy with the political and cultural landscape these days as well as nostalgize about a past that never was. But like Draco Malfoy on Muggle-borns, most of these conservatives are neither extreme in their viewpoints nor are willing to resort to violent terrorist acts for them. On the other end, I may believe that this country should do more to protect the environment and stop climate change but that doesn’t mean I’m willing to bomb an animal testing facility because that’s crazy. But when someone commits an act of violence on behalf of their political agenda, it makes a lot of people who may share that perpetrator’s view to some extent very uncomfortable and reluctant to address it as an act of terror. So they don’t.
  3. Sensationalism– We should understand that sensationalism sells and the media does everything it could to exploit violent terror incidents. The more violent it is and the nuttier the perpetrators seem, the more attention it will get and more ratings the media outlet will have. This is especially be the case if the perpetrator is Muslim.
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According to a local law enforcement survey the Triangle Center on Terrorism and Homeland Security, anti-government terrorism was seen as the top terrorist threat in their jurisdictions. And that percentage is far more than those who listed anything relating to Islamic terrorist threats. The media doesn’t really pay attention to this because most anti-government terrorists are white.

Unfortunately, the way the news covers domestic terror attacks has very negative repercussions in the country. Now it’s one thing to call a mass shooting in San Bernardino and at the Pulse nightclub in Orlando as domestic terrorism. Same goes for the Boston Marathon bombings. But it’s another when both these attacks are seen as acts of domestic terrorism while the mass shootings at Pittsburgh, Tucson, and Charleston are not. Rather as far as the media was concerned, these were attacks made by violently mentally ill white men. Sure it was an accurate assessment, but it doesn’t tell the whole story. For one, the man who fired an AK-47 at 5 cops in Pittsburgh was a white supremacist who believed Jews secretly ran everything and that Obama wanted to take away his guns. But as far as the media is concerned, he was just a crazy nutjob who killed 3 cops after his mom called police over a domestic dispute concerning a dog peeing on the carpet. Second, the Tucson shooter who tried to assassinate Congresswoman Gabby Giffords was a conspiracy theorist who believed in a New World Order to brainwash people. Third, the shooter who killed 9 people at the Emmanuel AME Church in Charleston was a white supremacist who donned a pro-apartheid jacket on his Facebook page, had a Confederate flag license plate, told racist jokes, advocated segregation, and went on a racist rant on how blacks are raping white women and taking over the world. Furthermore, he specifically chose to fire upon blacks at the church due to its long association with civil rights activism. Yet, these terror incidents were reported. Most aren’t covered by major news outlets at all. Negative repercussions of inadequate and sloppy coverage of domestic terrorism include:

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The heavy attention on Islamic terrorism in the US media outlets had perpetuated rise and acceptability of Islamophobia as well as led to American Muslims being targets of everything from harassment to outright deadly violence. Featured here are American Muslims Yousef Abu-Salha, his brother-in-law Deah Barakat, and his sisters Yusor and Razan. Save for the Yousef, three people would later become victims of an anti-Muslim hate crime in a Chapel Hill condominium by one of their former white neighbors who was banned from the building. The man basically broke into Deah and Yusor’s condo and killed them and Razan in cold blood. Yousef would later say, “It’s a shame that you turn on a major news channel and you see a news story about ISIS and then they’ll cover our story and they do an okay job, but immediately after it will be another story about these radical groups. I think it sends US citizens a bad message that these Muslims are all the same.”

 

  1. Legitimizes Discrimination– The media’s coverage of Islamic terrorism since 9/11 in the US and abroad has contributed so much to Islamophobia that Muslims in American pop culture have been nastily stereotyped as fanatical Islamic terrorists who hate our country and our western values. Each terror attack since then have been filtered by the media and consumed by the public as wrongdoings of Muslims around the world. Muslims have been further vilified and dehumanized in Hollywood movies like American Sniper. Because of this, American Muslims, Middle Easterners, and South Asians have become acceptable targets for profiling, oppression, and even terrorist attacks. For many Americans, just looking like a Muslim makes them an automatic terror suspect by default as well as someone to be feared. This is a major reason why welcoming Syrian refugees in the US has been so controversial even though it shouldn’t. Around the country, mosques have been fired on, defaced, or burned. Muslims have been shot and killed execution style in their living rooms, fatally stabbed on their way home as well as been beaten in their stores, schools, and on the streets. They’ve also been kicked out of planes, egged outside Walmart, scorched with hot coffee in a park, shot in cabs, and punched while pushing their children in strollers. They’ve had clothes set on fired and their children bullied in school. They’ve been threatened by neighbors who’d burn down their house if they didn’t move away as well as had their cemeteries vandalized and Quran desecrated. They’ve been fired for wearing hijabs and for praying. A Muslim congressman has received death threats. In Irving, Texas, heavily armed right-wing gunmen blocked entrance of a mosque and held banners reading, “we are the solution to Islamic terrorism.” Other armed anti-Islam demonstrations and “Muslim-free” businesses raise deep concerns. Civil and human rights advocates are challenging the use of “domestic terrorism” believing that it’s doled out in a racially-discriminatory manner that merely exacerbates hate they and law enforcement are trying to prevent. Exacerbating hate on a group of people who just happen to have the same religion as terrorists is not a solution to Islamic terrorism and just makes it worse. The fact that 55% of Americans hold an unfavorable view of Islam makes Islamophobia not just the biggest threat to American religious freedom, but also a potential threat to national security since Muslim communities play a crucial role in alerting law enforcement to terrorist threats.
  2. Does Not Represent Reality– While the American public rightfully sees Islamic terrorists as a threat to safety, the reality of terrorism exists in all forms and that terrorists come from all racial and cultural backgrounds as well as embraced a wide range of extremist political and religious ideologies. For law enforcement officials, the biggest terrorist threats aren’t jihadists. Rather it’s far right wing extremists that have carried out well over half of the deadliest US terrorist attacks since 9/11, committing 93% of all extremist murders in the last 10 years. Most of their extremism is homegrown as well as pose a very real danger to this nation’s character such as pluralism, tolerance, and equality, which form the basis of a liberal democracy. Though jihadist terrorism is often reported on the news, the US has seen very little violent extremism by Muslims. White supremacists are among the most lethal since they’ve committed 83% of all right-wing extremist murders and 77% of all extremist killings in the past decade as well as were involved in 52% of shootings with police. They also regularly engage in various terrorist plots, acts, and conspiracies as well as other traditional forms of crime. Anti-government extremists, right-wing militias, and sovereign citizens are among the most common. But no matter what their ideology, right-wing extremists are also more numerous, cover a larger geographic range, and are more likely to live in your neighborhood. Not representing these groups in the media as the terrorists they are that we should condemn is very irresponsible, even if the station is Fox News.
  3. Promotes Cultural Profiling– Those charged with plotting terrorism for the Islamic State faced more severe charges than militia members, “sovereign citizens,” and other anti-government extremist who’ve been prosecuted for similar activity (even though much more terrorist attacks are carried out by non-Muslims). After 9/11, many American Muslims, South Asians, and those of Middle Eastern descent found themselves being subject to harsher security checks as well as are more likely to be on a no fly list or subject to surveillance. As a result, trust between law enforcement and Muslims been strained. In recent years, anti-Islam bills became laws in 10 states. Florida and Tennessee have passed laws revising the way they approve textbooks for classroom use as a direct result of anti-Islam campaigns. Don’t get me wrong, Islamic terrorists do exist in this country and do pose a threat to national security. But profiling Muslims as suspected terrorists by default is never excusable since the vast majority of them are regular people like us who just want to live their lives in peace and mind their own business.
  4. Fails to Hold Public Figures Accountable for Their Rhetoric– The media is a huge influence in the American public but we should be aware what many public figures may say could be taken out of context by some nutjob who’d use it in a terror attack. It’s been widely suggested that political rhetoric may play a role in fueling hate crimes, especially since Donald Trump started running for president as well as said very hateful things about almost every demographic imaginable. But since he started running and calling on Muslim bans, anti-Muslim hate crimes dramatically increased to its highest levels since the aftermath of 9/11. It doesn’t help that Trump has been endorsed by white supremacist organizations whom he’s consistently failed to denounce. A lot of what’s said on Fox News has probably led to a lot of terror attacks and it doesn’t help that they have glorified anti-government terrorists like Cliven Bundy as heroes as well as inspired many nutcases to do horrible things that have killed people. Not to mention, a lot of conservative special interest groups have said similar things as well as many Republican politicians. I know that there are liberal groups and Democrats who might inspire some degree of terror violence. But I single out conservatives since right-wing terrorism has become much more of a problem in recent years, according to terror experts and government organizations.And yes a lot of these radical right-wing extremists consume conservative media outlets like Fox News.
  5. Ignores Very Real Threats– While Muslim terrorism in the news stirs fear and hatred for even the most ordinary Muslim Americans, the far more serious threat of the radical right has received relatively little attention. But bring that fact up in front of Republican politicians, expect outrage and even offense as an attack to demonize the right. The media seems to be just as deft to these threats, especially if it’s Fox News. Such response leads to downplay to take such threats as seriously as they should be by the public. Radical Right-Wing terrorists present a more deadly threat given their affinity for hoarding weapons and explosives. Not paying attention to these terrorists has consequences such as emboldening these people to carry out mass casualty attacks. Americans are much more likely to live near a white supremacist or anti-government sovereign citizen than a jihadist (A nearby town in my area had its own Klu Klux Klan chapter). When we’re talking about racial and religious minorities, living near a radical right-wing terrorist can put them in very real danger.
  6. Compromises Public Safety for Vulnerable Populations– Whenever domestic terror incidents aren’t reported and treated as the heinous acts they are, people are left very vulnerable to attacks. This was very apparent in the South during segregation when countless African Americans were subject to lynchings as a way to control black communities and retain white supremacy. During the Civil Rights Movement, African Americans and other activists were frequent targets of white supremacist violence. Though white supremacy is no longer as acceptable as it was, the hateful ideology and violence hasn’t gone away. Recent incidents including a white supremacist firing on Black Lives Matter activists in Minneapolis, a NAACP building bombing in Colorado, and a black church shooting in Charleston. In every terror attack involving Muslims since 9/11, hate crimes against Muslims in America have become alarmingly high. A study from Georgetown University has reported 174 incidents of anti-Muslim violence from 2015 consisting of 12 murders, 29 physical assaults, 50 threats against people and institutions, 54 acts of vandalism, 8 arsons, and 9 shootings or bombings. Contrary to what the media might say, Muslims are far more likely to become terror victims than terror perpetrators. However, Muslims and blacks aren’t the only group in the country vulnerable to domestic terrorism in the nation even by white supremacists. White supremacist groups also target immigrants, minorities, Jews, LGBT people, and sometimes Christians. Targets for anti-government and sovereign citizens are law enforcement and other authority figures. Still, not recognizing clearly politically motivated attacks by non-Muslim perpetrators leaves many Americans especially vulnerable.
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It is no secret that now GOP presidential nominee Donald Trump has been endorsed by the Klu Klux Klan over his racist remarks on Mexicans, blacks, immigrants, and Muslims. However, Trump hasn’t distanced himself from this white supremacist terrorist organization which has a long history of violence against blacks since its formation during Reconstruction. If a presidential candidate from a major party can’t denounce a terrorist endorsement, then that person isn’t fit to be president. Seriously, the KKK are beyond deplorable.

As you can see the state of how the news media depicts domestic terrorism is appalling. Excessive coverage of one group of terrorists has led to disproportionate fear, suspicion, and unjust discrimination against a religious minority and other others. But significant less attention of a far more serious homegrown terrorist threat has gone under the media radar and has neither been sufficiently challenged by our political culture nor law enforcement. Not only this disproportionate rate of media coverage lead to increased profiling and discrimination, it also makes the US less safe as a whole. Furthermore, it makes public figures less likely to take responsibility for their rhetoric that could inspire many of these nutjobs to commit heinous acts. Now while the government may be slow to act on domestic terrorism, the media doesn’t have to. In fact, if the media just got it together and report domestic terrorist attacks in a way they should, then it might actually encourage leaders to come up with policies combating it. After all, people didn’t take lynchings as serious acts of terrorism meant to intimidate black people during segregation in the South until Ida B. Wells investigated them in the 1890s and began an anti-lynching campaign to spread awareness about the atrocity. Today she is turning in her grave. If the news media should cover domestic terrorism correctly, then it must be depicted in a way that’s represents the reality. By that I mean showing that domestic terrorism can take many forms, be motivated by different ideologies, and committed by people of many different backgrounds. And that all these domestic terrorists should be treated as a national security threat to be taken seriously.

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Here we come to a bunch of heavily armed open-carry activists “protesting” at a mosque in Phoenix against “Islamic Radicalism.” In reality, they’re just a bunch of armed terrorists who are using their guns to intimidate the Muslims who worship there. This isn’t peaceful protesting, it’s domestic terrorism and should be treated that way. This should neither be tolerated nor encouraged by anyone. It’s utterly disgraceful anyone there with a gun wasn’t arrested. Because the country needs to know that armed protest rallies are never ever acceptable.

The Nesting World of Matryoshka Dolls

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One of the more popular dolls around the world are Russian matryoshka dolls which is a set of wooden dolls that have one doll inside another and so on and so forth. The name “matryoshka” meaning “little matron” and is a diminutive form of the Russian girls’ name  “Matryona” or “Matriosha.” Outside Russia, these are known as nesting dolls. Anyway, the original nesting doll set was carved in 1890 by Vasily Petrovich Zvyozdochkin and designed by folk crafts painter Sergey Vasilyevich Malyutin in Abramstevo. These men were inspired by a doll from Japan’s Honsu which may have been a hollow daruma doll of a Buddhist monk or a Seven Lucky Gods nesting doll. So it’s possible the popular doll sets associated with Russian arts and crafts could’ve had roots in Japan.Traditionally, the outer layer is a woman in Russian peasant garb but the figures inside can be of either gender. The smallest, innermost doll is usually a baby carved from a single piece of wood. A lot of the artistry is used in the painting of each doll which can be very elaborate. And each nesting doll set often follows a theme which can range from fairy tale characters, holiday decorations, and even Soviet leaders. For instance, my family has a nesting doll set of nutcrackers they sometimes use for Christmas. Today you can see nesting dolls covering just about anything which part of why I’m doing this post. There are even nesting doll sets from craft stores you can paint yourself. So for your reading pleasure, enjoy these unique Russian nesting doll sets.

  1. With these Devo nesting dolls, you must whip it, whip it good.
This 1980s band was best recognized by their trademark hats. So doing a nesting doll set of the lineup wasn't difficult.

This 1980s band was best recognized by their trademark hats. So doing a nesting doll set of the lineup wasn’t difficult.

2. Let yourself go with these nesting dolls from Frozen.

This set has Elsa, Anna, Kristoph, Hands, and Olaf in descending order. And each is well painted.

This set has Elsa, Anna, Kristoph, Hands, and Olaf in descending order. And each is well painted.

3. This nesting doll set is particularly presidential.

This one just has the presidential hits. Why FDR, Harry Truman, Teddy Roosevelt, James Madison, LBJ, and Richard Nixon weren't included, I have no idea.

This one just has the presidential hits. Why FDR, Teddy Roosevelt, James Madison, LBJ, or Richard Nixon weren’t included, I have no idea. Also, Ben Franklin wasn’t a president.

4. Henry VIII and his six wives always make for a great set of 7.

Henry VIII is the biggest while each wife is depicted in descending order. Sorry if Anne Bolelyn and Katherine Howard don't come with detachable heads.

Henry VIII is the biggest while each wife is depicted in descending order. Sorry if Anne Boleyn and Katherine Howard don’t come with detachable heads.

5. Mexicans who celebrate Dia de los Muertos can’t do without this nesting doll set.

Each one is depicted as skulls as specified. Make great decorations on any Mexican shelf.

Each one is depicted as skulls as specified. Make great decorations on any Mexican shelf.

6. This nesting doll set pays tribute to Charlie Chaplin as the Little Tramp.

Of course, one doll depicts him as he normally looked like. But as an old movie buff, I find this set awesome.

Of course, one doll depicts him as he normally looked like. But as an old movie buff, I find this set awesome.

7. If you like horror comedy, this Addams family nesting doll set is a delight.

Sure it doesn't include Lurch and Uncle Fester. But it does consist of Gomez, Morticia, and their kids.

Sure it doesn’t include Lurch and Uncle Fester. But it does consist of Gomez, Morticia, and their kids.

8. This nesting doll set was made for cat fanciers in mind.

A must have for the crazy cat ladies of lore. A set of 5 cat breeds.

A must have for the crazy cat ladies of lore. A set of 5 cat breeds.

9. Seems like we have a US and Russian crew on this space shuttle.

Yes, it's a crew of 4. But the largest doll is a shuttle. How cool is that?

Yes, it’s a crew of 4. But the largest doll is a shuttle. How cool is that?

10. From the world of Roald Dahl, no one can resist this Charlie and the Chocolate Factory set.

Includes Willy Wonka, Charlie, the 4 brats, and an Oompah-Loompah. Great for inducing nightmares from children.

Includes Willy Wonka, Charlie, the 4 brats, and an Oompah-Loompah. Great for inducing nightmares from children.

11. A set of Sesame Street nesting dolls is all you need to learn your ABCs.

However, I think Big Bird should be the biggest doll, not Elmo. Also, Bert and Ernie should be shown together. But whoever made this wanted to use different colors. Cookie Monster should be bigger as well.

However, I think Big Bird should be the biggest doll, not Elmo. Also, Bert and Ernie should be shown together. But whoever made this wanted to use different colors. Cookie Monster should be bigger as well.

12. On the child unfriendly side, there’s a nesting doll set from South Park.

This one depicts the main boys as well as Mr. Poop. Please don't ask.

This one depicts the main boys as well as Mr. Poop. Please don’t ask.

13. Minion fans will enjoy a nesting doll set like these.

Well, to be fair, minions aren't hard to paint since they're mostly yellow. Still, these are adorable.

Well, to be fair, minions aren’t hard to paint since they’re mostly yellow. Still, these are adorable.

14. Nesting doll fans should take a look at these painted owls.

Each owl is painted in a rather stylized fashion. But each is special in its own way. Then again, owl nesting dolls are probably not hard.

Each owl is painted in a rather stylized fashion. But each is special in its own way. Then again, owl nesting dolls are probably not hard.

15. The theme of this nesting doll set is a costumed cat family.

Each of them seem to be in Renaissance costume. I think this is based off an artist who does cat paintings.

Each of them seem to be in Renaissance costume. I think this is based off an artist who does anthropomorphic cat paintings.

16. These nesting dolls are afraid of no ghost.

Kind of bummed they don't have the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man in this Ghostbusters line up. Well, you can't win them all.

Kind of bummed they don’t have the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man in this Ghostbusters line up. Well, you can’t win them all.

17. These ninja nesting will make you never see what’s coming.

After all, you don't expect them to wear outfits in 5 different colors. Or be so adorable. Love it.

After all, you don’t expect them to wear outfits in 5 different colors. Or be so adorable. Love it.

18. Civil War buffs would appreciate this nesting doll set of Union generals.

However, I'd take out George B. McClellan and Irving McDowell because one lost the Second Battle of Bull Run while the other was a perpetual chickenshit. Replace with Philip Sheridan and George H. Thomas. Or David Farragut.

However, I’d take out George B. McClellan and Irving McDowell because one lost the Second Battle of Bull Run while the other was a perpetual chickenshit. Replace with Philip Sheridan and George H. Thomas. Or David Farragut.

19. This Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle set will make you say, “Cowabunga!”

Has the 4 Ninja Turtles and their mentor. Yes, Ninja Turtle fans, this set exists.

Has the 4 Ninja Turtles and their mentor. Yes, Ninja Turtle fans, this set exists.

20. Teachers will surely appreciate a nesting doll set like this on their desks.

Each teacher has a tool to teach with in this set of 5. Not sure if they have one for guys. Probably not.

Each teacher has a tool to teach with in this set of 5. Not sure if they have one for guys. Probably not.

21. Florida Gators fans will enjoy this nesting doll set.

Yes, they have college sports ones as well as professional. Not sure who the players are under the helmets. Not that I care.

Yes, they have college sports ones as well as professional. Not sure who the players are under the helmets. Not that I care.

22. This owl set will surely be a hoot.

Yes, this is another owl nesting doll set. But these are painted more realistically. And I'm sure they're not from North America.

Yes, this is another owl nesting doll set. But these are painted more realistically. And I’m sure they’re not from North America.

23. What better way to honor Team USA during the Sochi Winter Olympics than with this nesting doll set?

I would've went with the Russian Rio set. But I found the wood on those dolls tested positive for performance enhancing drugs.

I would’ve went with the Russian Rio set. But I found the wood on those dolls tested positive for performance enhancing drugs.

24. These firefighter nesting dolls are always to the rescue.

The large one even has its own hat. One even depicts a fireman trying to rescue someone from a building.

The large one even has its own hat. One even depicts a fireman in action. Includes dalmatian and fire hydrant.

25. If you’re Jewish, Russian, and like Marc Chagall, this set is for you.

Marc Chagall was a famous modernist artist who worked with several artistic styles in several artistic mediums. Part of his art was based on Eastern European Jewish folk culture.

Marc Chagall was a famous modernist artist who worked with several artistic styles in several artistic mediums. Part of his art was based on Eastern European Jewish folk culture.

26. Since there are so many lighthouses, there has to be a nesting doll set for them.

Noticed how the lighthouses are in different colors and styles. I guess the stripes seem to increase their visibility.

Noticed how the lighthouses are in different colors and styles. I guess the stripes seem to increase their visibility.

27. This nativity nesting doll set is perfect for Christmas at any home.

There are a lot of nativity scene nesting doll sets out there. This one was made for small children. So cute.

There are a lot of nativity scene nesting doll sets out there. This one was made for small children. So cute.

28. Nurses will appreciate this nesting doll set.

Notice how each nurse is dressed in a different way. And how each one of them handles different things.

Notice how each nurse is dressed in a different way. And how each one of them handles different things.

29. Fans of Greek mythology will totally want this set of nesting dolls.

This mostly consist of mythological creatures. Not sure who or what that guy in the loin cloth is supposed to be.

This mostly consist of mythological creatures. Not sure who or what that guy in the loin cloth is supposed to be.

30. This snowman family is all smiles in winter.

Guess this one isn't hard to make. Still, I bet they're all singing Christmas carols since two of them are holding books.

Guess this one isn’t hard to make. Still, I bet they’re all singing Christmas carols since two of them are holding books.

31. No nesting doll can be complete without a set of the King.

I may not be a fan of Elvis. But I know that many readers will appreciate these dolls. Doesn't include his Vegas years.

I may not be a fan of Elvis. But I know that many readers will appreciate these dolls. Doesn’t include his Vegas years.

32. For fairy tale sets, this Little Red Riding Hood one is worth howling over.

Includes all the known characters. However, what most people don't know is that this children's story originally didn't have a happy ending. And it had sexual connotations.

Includes all the known characters. However, what most people don’t know is that this children’s story originally didn’t have a happy ending. And it had sexual connotations.

33. This horror nesting doll set will give you a good scare.

These seem like extras from The Nightmare Before Christmas. But I'll allow it. Great for those who love a good scare.

These seem like extras from The Nightmare Before Christmas. But I’ll allow it. Great for those who love a good scare.

34. Not to be outdone, the Confederate side has nesting doll generals of their own.

I suppose James Longstreet is the smallest one because he became a Republican and civil rights advocate after the war. Not to mention, he didn't think the South could win and was right.

I suppose James Longstreet is the smallest one because he became a Republican and civil rights advocate after the war. Not to mention, he didn’t think the South could win and was right.

35. This Happy Hoots nesting doll family will make you smile.

Yes, this is my third owl nesting doll set. But these have different colors on them. So I couldn't pass it up.

Yes, this is my third owl nesting doll set. But these have different colors on them. So I couldn’t pass it up.

36. Speaking of nesting dolls, these chickens are only fitting.

Comes with one rooster, 3 hens, and a chick. Great for down on the farm.

Comes with one rooster, 3 hens, and a chick. Great for down on the farm.

37. For dogs like these, it’s up to them to destroy the One Collar to rule them all.

This nesting doll set depicts dogs as Lord of the Rings characters. I know it's crazy, right?

This nesting doll set depicts dogs as Lord of the Rings characters. I know it’s crazy, right?

38. If you don’t like Ninja Turtles, a regular turtle set would do just fine.

Because while real turtles aren't fit to be ninjas, they can be quite cool. Each one here has a unique shell.

Because while real turtles aren’t fit to be ninjas, they can be quite cool. Each one here has a unique shell.

39. For Queen fans, this nesting set will rock you.

Depicts each member of Queen and their logo. There are lots of songs from this group that get stuck in your head.

Depicts each member of Queen and their logo. There are lots of songs from this group that get stuck in your head.

40. Those who grew up loving The Wizard of Oz will enjoy this set of nesting dolls.

Includes Dorothy, Toto, the Scarecrow, Tin Man, and Cowardly Lion. I know it's not the best but it's the least scary rendition.

Includes Dorothy, Toto, the Scarecrow, Tin Man, and Cowardly Lion. I know it’s not the best but it’s the least scary rendition.

41. This Pink Floyd nesting doll set belongs on the dark side of the moon.

Wait, that group had 5 members. Why does this set depict 4? Maybe because Syd Barrett left the group early.

Wait, that group had 5 members. Why does this set depict 4? Maybe because Syd Barrett left the group early.

42. While some nesting doll sets are nativity scenes, this one depicts the life of Christ.

You have a lot of these sets, too. Usually they start at the nativity. This one depicts some of Jesus's miracles and the Good Samaritan.

You have a lot of these sets, too. Usually they start at the nativity. This one depicts some of Jesus’s miracles and the Good Samaritan.

43. You have to have a hard heart not to appreciate this nesting doll set of woodland creatures.

Well, one of them is a chick while 2 are insects. But the others are a fox, rabbit, and owl. Probably made for kids.

Well, one of them is a chick while 2 are insects. But the others are a fox, rabbit, and owl. Probably made for kids.

44. A Van Gogh nesting doll set is great for anyone with a lust for life.

Shows Van Gogh's self-portrait with 4 of his best known paintings. All of which didn't earn him a dime.

Shows Van Gogh’s self-portrait with 4 of his best known paintings. All of which didn’t earn him a dime.

45. For Will and Kate’s wedding, these nesting dolls are best desired.

Consists of Will and Kate, Elizabeth II and Philip, Charles, Diana, and Harry. All in a red background.

Consists of Will and Kate, Elizabeth II and Philip, Charles, Diana, and Harry. All in a red background.

46. Since nesting dolls are from Russia, it’s only fair I present you a set of modern Russian leaders.

Soviet and otherwise to get my drift, starting with Lenin. But Putin is included.

Soviet and otherwise to get my drift, starting with Lenin. But Putin is included.

47. This nesting doll set of Goldilocks and the Three Bears is just right.

Like how they made all the bears bigger than Goldilocks. She really should've known not to break into a bear home.

Like how they made all the bears bigger than Goldilocks. She really should’ve known not to break into a bear home.

48. From New Zealand, is this set of Maori nesting dolls.

The Maori are the indigenous people of New Zealand who do exist (unlike Hobbits). They're known for their striped grass skirts.

The Maori are the indigenous people of New Zealand who do exist (unlike Hobbits). They’re known for their striped grass skirts.

49. Fans of Wes Anderson will adore this nesting doll set of the Grand Budapest Hotel.

Depicts characters from the hit Wes Anderson movie that should've won the Oscar for Best Picture. Still, this is great.

Depicts characters from the hit Wes Anderson movie that should’ve won the Oscar for Best Picture. Still, this is great.

50. No, I don’t think this is a set of ninja nesting dolls.

These are nesting dolls of Muslim women in the Middle East. Well, at least ones wearing a chador that only shows the eyes.

These are nesting dolls of Muslim women in the Middle East. Well, at least ones wearing a chador that only shows the eyes.

51. Russian nesting doll beauties always look great in furs.

Well, they seemed to dress quite fancy. But Russian winters can be quite brutally cold.

Well, they seemed to dress quite fancy. But Russian winters can be quite brutally cold.

52. These painted women nesting dolls seem as immortal on wood as they are on canvas.

I guess these are from Renaissance paintings since they depict the Virgin Mary. Not to mention, a bunch of women dressed from the 16th century.

I guess these are from Renaissance paintings since they depict the Virgin Mary. Not to mention, a bunch of women dressed from the 16th century.

53. As with nesting dolls, burlesque involves multiple layers.

As you can see how each succeeding doll has less and less clothes on. The last one is totally nude.

As you can see how each succeeding doll has less and less clothes on. The last one is totally nude.

54. No one can resist this panda bear nesting doll family.

I don't think pandas live in groups like that for they're solitary creatures. But this set is adorable.

I don’t think pandas live in groups like that for they’re solitary creatures. But this set is adorable.

55. This Obama First Family nesting doll set is sincerely presidential.

Let's just say I'll miss this bunch after Obama is out of office. This is especially if Mr. Hamsterhair gets elected president which I think will be a nightmare.

Let’s just say I’ll miss this bunch after Obama is out of office. This is especially if Mr. Hamsterhair gets elected president which I think will be an absolute nightmare.

56. This nesting doll set is among the best from the Hundred Acre Wood.

Includes Winnie the Pooh, Tigger, Eeyore, Rabbit, and Piglet. Not sure if the Eeyore one had a great paint job.

Includes Winnie the Pooh, Tigger, Eeyore, Owl, and Piglet. Not sure if the Eeyore one had a great paint job.

57. These dog nesting dolls seem all ready for a feast.

Seems like they are. Each seems to have their own dish according to breed. Viewers will adore this.

Seems like they are. Each seems to have their own dish according to breed. Viewers will adore this.

58. This dog nesting doll set is even loved by man’s best friend.

A lot of dog nesting doll sets seem to show single breeds. This one doesn't which is why I put it on this post.

A lot of dog nesting doll sets seem to show single breeds. This one doesn’t which is why I put it on this post.

59. The Dark Knight of Gotham always needs his own nesting doll set.

This set is from the Dark Knight Saga. Features Bane, Catwoman, and the Joker.

This set is from the Dark Knight Saga. Features Bane, Catwoman, and the Joker.

60. If you like Russian fairy tales, these nesting dolls are just the thing.

Since nesting dolls are from Russia, it's only fair. The large one has the gorgeous Firebird.

Since nesting dolls are from Russia, it’s only fair. The large one has the gorgeous Firebird.

61. This nesting doll set depicts the planets of the Solar System.

This is sorted by size, by the way. And in accordance with most scientists, Pluto is not included.

This is sorted by size, by the way. And in accordance with most scientists, Pluto is not included.

62. Though Russian, nesting dolls can depict a variety of different cultures. This set is from Africa.

Probably from the sub Saharan region but I can't say where. But you have to admire the colorful outfits.

Probably from the sub Saharan region but I can’t say where. But you have to admire the colorful outfits.

63. For Czarist nostalgia, you have this Royal family nesting doll set.

Just remember that this set depicts a family that would all be killed by the Bolsheviks during the Russian Revolution. Let that sink in.

Just remember that this set depicts a family that would all be killed by the Bolsheviks during the Russian Revolution. Let that sink in.

64. These Disney Princess nesting dolls have all the royal touches.

Sure Mulan, Pocahontas, and Tiana aren't included. But they're not exactly princesses per se. Then again, Elsa is actually a queen.

Sure Mulan, Pocahontas, and Tiana aren’t included. But they’re not exactly princesses per se. Then again, Elsa is actually a queen.

65. Another Wes Anderson nesting doll set is from the Life Aquatic with Steve Zissou.

It's about a Jacques Cousteau like captain and his crew. But they all seem to wear the same outfit.

It’s about a Jacques Cousteau like captain and his crew. But they all seem to wear the same outfit.

66. When it comes to nesting dolls, you never know how many can fit inside each other.

Most nesting doll sets usually consist of 5-8 dolls. But this one has almost infinite that you can barely see the smallest one.

Most nesting doll sets usually consist of 5-8 dolls. But this one has almost infinite that you can barely see the smallest one.

67. These ninja nesting dolls all wear black and gold.

Yes, it's another ninja nesting doll set. But these are dressed and black and have knives on them.

Yes, it’s another ninja nesting doll set. But these are dressed and black and have knives on them.

68. If you like animals and Wes Anderson, these Fantastic Mr. Fox nesting dolls will delight.

Includes all the critters you know and love from the stop motion Fantastic Mr. Fox. Adorable.

Includes all the critters you know and love from the stop motion Fantastic Mr. Fox. Adorable.

69. For these Gustav Klimt nesting dolls, each one has a masterpiece.

Klimt seems to have his way with colors, doesn't he? His kiss is the most famous.

Klimt seems to have his way with colors, doesn’t he? His kiss is the most famous.

70. For Christmas, this nesting doll set is perfect decoration.

Then again, this might consist of more than one. But I really like the Christmas tree.

Then again, this might consist of more than one. But I really like the Christmas tree.

71. This second season Blackadder set is great for all your cunning plans.

This is great. Has Blackadder, Queenie, Lord Percy, Nursie, and Baldrick. Love it.

This is great. Has Blackadder, Queenie, Lord Percy, Nursie, and Baldrick. Love it.

72. No one can resist these penguin nesting dolls that can melt a frozen heart.

About time, I included a penguin nesting doll set. Because these creatures are adorable. Love the beaks and tuxedos.

About time, I included a penguin nesting doll set. Because these creatures are adorable. Love the beaks and tuxedos.

73. With this nesting doll set of Muhammad Ali, your shelf will truly be the greatest.

Yes, this depicts Muhammad Ali who died not to long ago. Doesn't hurt if I put this on my post. RIP

Yes, this depicts Muhammad Ali who died not to long ago. Doesn’t hurt if I put this on my post. RIP

74. Guess these nesting dolls can be nun too holy.

As it turns out this is a set of nun nesting dolls. Guess these were easy to paint. So cute.

As it turns out this is a set of nun nesting dolls. Guess these were easy to paint. So cute.

75. Though these hot air balloon nesting dolls can’t fly, they sure delight.

Now that's a rather clever concept. Like how each one has a different pattern. Lovely.

Now that’s a rather clever concept. Like how each one has a different pattern. Lovely.

76. If you like old horror movies, then this set is the one for you.

Includes Frankenstein's monster, Dracula, the Creature from the Black Lagoon, and the Mummy. Guess Wolf Man fans will be disappointed.

Includes Frankenstein’s monster, Dracula, the Creature from the Black Lagoon, and the Mummy. Guess Wolf Man fans will be disappointed.

77. Snoopy fans will adore these Peanuts nesting dolls.

Well, it has Snoopy with his friends. Each one has a different color. Adorable.

Well, it has Snoopy with his friends. Each one has a different color. Adorable.

78. Follow the life of Christ with this nesting doll set.

Like I said before, Jesus's life is a popular nesting doll theme. This one depicts it in chronological order.

Like I said before, Jesus’s life is a popular nesting doll theme. This one depicts it in chronological order.

79. This nesting doll set has all the iconography.

Well, iconography from Russian and Eastern European churches. Some figures may repeat.

Well, iconography from Russian and Eastern European churches. Some figures may repeat.

80. Sometimes colors and abstract concepts can be well suited for nesting dolls.

This one depicts rainbow colors with each sporting a unique pattern. Guess it's easier than painting a face.

This one depicts rainbow colors with each sporting a unique pattern. Guess it’s easier than painting a face.

81. If you liked Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs, you can’t resist nesting dolls like these.

The dwarves on here seem considerably smaller than Snow White. But that's to be expected.

The dwarves on here seem considerably smaller than Snow White. But that’s to be expected.

82. This set of nesting dolls depicts a group that set off the British Invasion in the 1960s.

Yes, these are the Beatles possibly from 1967. Though they're not in their Sergeant Pepper gear at this point.

Yes, these are the Beatles possibly from 1967. Though they’re not in their Sergeant Pepper gear at this point.

83. Speaking of the Beatles, these nesting dolls all live in a yellow submarine.

It's from the cartoon they were in during the late 1960s. So having a nesting doll set of Yellow Submarine is inevitable.

It’s from the cartoon they were in during the late 1960s. So having a nesting doll set of Yellow Submarine is inevitable.

84. Hello Kitty fans can’t resist nesting doll set like this.

Each is depicted in a shade of pink and purple. Each features Hello Kitty in a different outfit.

Each is depicted in a shade of pink and purple. Each features Hello Kitty in a different outfit.

85. For Christmas you can’t do without a nesting doll set of Good St. Nick.

Each of these has a different Santa though their faces mostly look the same. And so do their clothes.

Each of these has a different Santa though their faces mostly look the same. And so do their clothes.

86. This nesting doll set is boldly going where no man has gone before.

The Scotty and Dr. McCoy nesting dolls don't seem to look right on this. Also, there's no Chekov.

The Scotty and Dr. McCoy nesting dolls don’t seem to look right on this. Also, there’s no Chekov.

87. These robot nesting dolls might be metal but they’ll melt your heart.

Each one has a different machine configuration. One may be radioactive.

Each one has a different machine configuration. One may be radioactive.

88. This Game of Thrones nesting doll set has a wide range of characters.

Remember that some of these will not be coming back next season. But the show's really popular so I have it on here.

Remember that some of these will not be coming back next season. But the show’s really popular so I have it on here.

89. For Nightmare Before Christmas fans, these nesting dolls are a must have.

Who knew that you'd have a nesting doll set for this. Oogie Boogie is the biggest one here.

Who knew that you’d have a nesting doll set for this. Oogie Boogie is the biggest one here.

90. On Middle Earth, this is the nesting doll set to rule them all.

This one is of the Fellowship of the Ring from Lord of the Rings. Notice the the ring is the smallest piece.

This one is of the Fellowship of the Ring from Lord of the Rings. Notice the the Ring is the smallest piece.

91. These nesting dolls are coming for your brains.

Man, these zombie nesting dolls surely look hideous. Doesn't help that it has a bloody brain.

Man, these zombie nesting dolls surely look hideous. Doesn’t help that it has a bloody brain.

92. If you like Stanley Kubrick, this Clockwork Orange nesting doll set is for you.

Personally, I prefer to see ones of Barry Lyndon, Spartacus, or Dr. Strangelove. Yet, know that A Clockwork Orange is a very violent movie. Very violent.

Personally, I prefer to see ones of Barry Lyndon, Spartacus, or Dr. Strangelove. Yet, know that A Clockwork Orange is a very violent movie. Very violent.

93. This Harry Potter nesting doll set will make you the pride of Hogwarts.

This mainly consist of Hogwarts students. Looks like Draco Malfoy has the smallest piece.

This mainly consist of Hogwarts students. Looks like Draco Malfoy has the smallest piece.

94. This Fab Four nesting doll set is a true collectors’ item.

Yes, it's another Beatles nesting doll set. But this one depicts them early in their career. That's different.

Yes, it’s another Beatles nesting doll set. But this one depicts them early in their career. That’s different.

95. This Apple Steve Jobs nesting doll set is truly revolutionary.

Each doll has Jobs holding a different item. Smallest one has the icon.

Each doll has Jobs holding a different item. Smallest one has the icon.

96. These Batman nesting dolls are surely imposing.

Each one is of Batman in his batsuit and bat logo. Don't ask. Clever.

Each one is of Batman in his batsuit and bat logo. Don’t ask. Clever.

97. This nesting doll set has all the czars.

Well, all the czars you probably know. And some that you don't but should.

Well, all the czars you probably know. And some that you don’t but should.

98. These modern art nesting dolls are a treat to look at.

I think they're supposed to be in the style of Malevich. Have no idea who that is.

I think they’re supposed to be in the style of Malevich. Have no idea who that is.

99. From Pixar, these Inside Out nesting dolls are a great fit.

This one has all the feelings in Riley's head. Includes Joy, Fear, Disgust, Sadness, and Anger.

This one has all the feelings in Riley’s head. Includes Joy, Fear, Disgust, Sadness, and Anger.

100. Finally, you can’t possibly do without a nesting doll set of nutcrackers.

Doesn't exactly look like the one my family has. But as far as nesting doll Christmas decorations go, it will do.

Doesn’t exactly look like the one my family has. But as far as nesting doll Christmas decorations go, it will do.

The Many Corruption Scandals of Donald Trump (You’re Welcome, Hillary)

trump-shell-game

Okay, I was actually not going to post this article. But since my parents found Trump presidential campaign ad on one of my articles, I feel that I have no choice but to do this. During the 2016 campaign season, the media tends to cast Donald Trump as the crazy/racist one while portraying Hillary Clinton as the politically corrupt one. However, while I don’t contest that Hillary hasn’t been a saint for the last few decades, but to say that she’s more corrupt, untrustworthy, and dishonest than Trump, well, that’s just completely wrong. I’m well aware that the news media tends to cover Hillary’s political and personal baggage on the airwaves down to the last detail while sending legions of journalists in their midst whenever she’s implicated in a government investigation. But all of what’s turned out of those findings about Hillary is just that she happens to be a flawed but normal politician. The only thing that’s abnormal about her is that she’s a former First Lady. That’s it. Yes, she has baggage but a lot of her and Bill’s cases involve suspicion and shadowy links. But all that just adds fuel for the conspiracy theorists at Fox News. Still, though I don’t have any objections to the press covering Hillary this way, especially in a presidential election year, they don’t seem to do the same to Trump. Because when Trump is implicated in anything, the media just glosses it over briefly and moves on. This is not how candidate scandals should be covered, especially if we’re talking about the scandals surrounding Trump which I think are well worth revisiting and discussing. Compared to Hillary, Trump has a long and documented history of corruption since the 1970s and his flamboyant corruption run to the very core of his identity and prospective governing choices. Hell, many of his scandals have been recorded in court cases and legal proceedings Sure he may have a complete lack of public office experience, but his resume is far from a clean unlike most novice candidates. And a lot of the stuff he’s done is downright appalling as well as shown that he’s willing to risk ruining people’s lives in order to get what he wants with no second thought. So if you’re a person who disdains corruption, then your rationale for voting for Trump to elect him is nothing short of idiotic. Yes, the Clintons may be corrupt practitioners of Washington’s cash-for-access culture as well as careless and susceptible to greed. But their corruption only pertains to normal, political things. Sure that doesn’t excuse their behavior, but their deeds aren’t unprecedented. Trump on the other hand, is corrupt on a historic scale and the fact people are willing to trust him over Hillary to run the country is insane. Here I have a rough cheat sheet of Trump scandals you might want to see for yourself. Consider this a highlight reel except that the highlights tend to show Trump as awful person he is. These are not in chronological order. It’s also a long post and viewer discretion is advised.

Business Failures:

1980s: Used junk bonds to build Trump Taj Mahal in Atlantic City (despite claiming he wouldn’t) and was unable to keep up with interest payments once the casino was built. So Trump declared bankruptcy in 1991 which led him to sell his yacht, his airline, and half of his ownership in the casino.

1983-1985: Bought the USFL New Jersey Generals for $9 million but the league lost $30 million for obvious reasons regardless of how the team was doing. Lobbied to move the USFL games to the fall to compete with the NFL which commanded the TV networks. So Trump’s lawyers and the league filed a $1.69 billion antitrust and monopoly lawsuit against the NFL. Jury awarded the USFL $3 in damages and the league later folded.

1989-1993: Acquired 17 Boeings Eastern Air Shuttle and 17 Boeing 727 that formed Trump Airlines which he aimed to make it more Trumpy luxurious for $380 million on 22 small bank loans. Customers used to Easter Air Shuttle’s no frills service and never turned a profit. It didn’t help that Trump was more interested in revamping this airline to suit his image instead of focusing on his customers’ real needs. Not to mention, the high price of jet fuel due to the Gulf War in 1991. As Time explains, “The high debt forced Trump to default on his loans, and ownership of the company was turned over to creditors. The Trump Shuttle ceased to exist in 1992 when it was merged into a new corporation, Shuttle Inc. No word on whether the gold-plated faucets survived the merger.”

1989: Launched Trump: The Game which was a Monopoly themed board game that failed within a year. A 2005 attempt at reviving the game via The Apprentice also failed.

1992: Declared bankruptcy when Trump Plaza went bust after losing more than $550 million.  Though he gave up his stake, Trump insulated himself from personal losses and managed to keep his CEO title. However, he surrendered any salary or role in day-to-day operations. By the time all was said and done, he was $900 million in personal debt.

1995-2004: Declared bankruptcy when Trump Hotels and Casino Resorts was $1.8 billion in debt before later emerging as Trump Entertainment Resorts. Though Trump was chairman of the new company, he no longer had a controlling stake in it. Trump Hotels and Casino Resorts had lost money every year while Trump ran it as CEO which later lost its shareholders and 90% of their money. And at the start, the company already had a $494 million in long term debt but its borrowings ballooned to $1.7 billion by the end of the next year. In the Trump Hotels and Casinos transaction to buy Trump Taj Mahal for $898 million, the company would take $817 in junk bonds at 11.25% interest. Trump Taj Mahal was already losing money from the start because its big interest burden due to Trump financing its construction with junk bonds in the 1980s. In 1996, Trump Hotels would by Trump’s Castle for $520 million with the announced price at a staggering 18 times cash flow. It’s not even clear whether the Castle was worth its over $350 million debt load. By 2002, Trump Hotels’ debt was $2.1 billion and its leverage ratio expanded to 27, approaching levels that sank Lehman Brothers during the 2008 financial crisis. Meanwhile Trump paid himself $32 million. It was the worst performing publicly trading gaming company at the time, especially from 1995-2000 when the sector itself was going gangbusters.

2004: Licensed his name to Trump Signature Collection clothing line which is manufactured in China and Mexico. After accusing Mexico of sending its rapists in to the US, Macy’s dropped the line. Now the company Phillips-Van Heusen which manufactures his line said after losing its main retail outlet at Macy’s, plans to dump Trump in 2018. Not to mention, Trump has ironically threatened Apple, Carrier, and Ford to strongarm them into bringing their outsourced workers back to the US. Hell, in 2005, he even expressed support for outsourcing.

2006: Launched Trump Vodka which aspired to make “Trump and Tonic” the most ordered drink in America. Folded in 2011.

2006: Launched Trump Mortgage just when the housing bubble was reaching its bursting point and dismissed talk about it on CNBC by saying, “Who knows more about financing than me?” Apparently anyone who thinks starting a mortgage company at the time was a very bad idea. Company folded 18 months later to nobody’s surprise.

2006: Launched travel site Go.Trump which focused on luxury hotels. Failed within a year.

2007: Launched Trump Magazine which targeted affluent readers and covered luxury living. Failed within 2 years.

2007: Launched Trump Steaks which bought meat from the Sysco-owned Buckhead Beef which used the name and sold them through a New York City technology store called The Sharper Image. Company folded within a year for obvious reasons. Seriously, who the hell sells steaks at a technology store?

2009: Declared bankruptcy when Trump Entertainment Resorts fell again which led him to resign from the board though the company retained its name. In 2014, he successfully sued to take his name off the company and its casinos, one of which had already closed and the other being near closing. The Trump Plaza Casino and Hotel has closed permanently. Over the 15 years Trump served as chairman of both Trump Hotels and Resorts and Trump Entertainment Resorts, both companies posted net losses with profits being decimated by gigantic interest costs at $1.7 billion, excluding extraordinary items.

Screwing Workers:

1980: Demolished the Bonwit Teller store and its architecturally beloved Art Deco edifice (though he promised not to) in order to build Trump Tower. In order to accomplish this, the managers hired 200 undocumented Polish workers to tear it down, paying $5 an hour for backbreaking work when they were paid at all. Workers didn’t wear hard hats and often slept on site. Workers who complained about back pay were threatened with deportation. Trump claimed he was unaware that undocumented immigrants were working at the site (while testimony under oath shown by Massimo Calabresi proves that Trump was aware of undocumented workers being employed there). In 1991, a federal judge found Trump and the defendants guilty of conspiring to avoid paying Local 95 construction workers’ union pension and welfare contributions. The decision was appealed, with partial victories on both sides, and settled in 1999. Marco Rubio used this story in a debate to accuse Trump of hypocrisy in his illegal immigration stance and rightfully so.

1980s-present: Has been subject to various complaints and lawsuits by contractors, waiters, dishwashers, and plumbers who have worked on his projects and claimed that his company has stiffed them for work as well as refused to pay for their services. USA Today did a lengthy review of this, finding that some of these contracts were for hundreds and thousands of dollars, many owed to small businesses that failed or struggled to continue because of unpaid bills. Not to mention that Trump was found to have improperly withheld compensation for undocumented Polish immigrant workers. In regards to these wage theft allegations, Trump has offered various excuses like shoddy workmanship. However the scale of the problem that includes hundreds of allegations makes it hard to credit. In some cases, even lawyers Trump has hired to defend him have sued him for failing to pay their fees. One Trump employee admitted in court that a painter was stiffed on account that managers had determined they had “already paid enough.” These cases are particularly damaging since they show Trump not driving a hard bargain with other businesses as well as harming ordinary, hard-working Americans. Not only that, but he’s now being sued by little girls who performed during his campaign. And it’s because he’s running for president and is subject to such scrutiny that I decided to do a blog post on wage theft. Trump’s record on stiffing workers out of their hard earned money should get long-term media attention because it shows us the kind of sociopath he is.

1980s-present: Despite his immigration stance, has hired foreign guest workers at his resorts which involves a claim that he can’t find Americans to do the work. This even when Americans applied for the same positions. Guess foreign guest workers are easier to exploit and are less likely to complain about wage theft.

1999-?: Has been subject to claims by former models at Trump Model Management that they and others worked for the agency in the US despite not having proper permits. Some worked on tourist visas, either never getting the correct permits or getting them only after working in the US illegally for months. Some models also received H-1B visas which a special type of permit for workers in specialized industries, a program Trump has criticized. In true Trump fashion, the models were kept under squalid conditions while earning almost nothing for the work they did. It’s even embarrassing that Trump has argued for much more enforced immigration laws as well as building a wall and making Mexico pay for it. There’s even scrutiny over his current wife Melania’s immigration status at the time as well.

2000s: Spent half a million dollars to a law firm in order to keep service employees from his Las Vegas hotels and resorts from unionizing.

Unfair Business Practices: 

1980s-2000s: Has been repeatedly fined for breaking rules related to his operation of his casinos. In 1990, his father Fred strolled in the already troubled Taj Mahal and bought 700 chips worth $3.5 million. Though this purchase helped the casino pay its debt due at the time, Fred Trump had no plans to gamble which led to New Jersey’s gaming commission ruling it a loan violating operating rules and fined Trump $30,000. Of course, Taj Mahal went bankrupt the following year. As noted above, New Jersey also fined Trump $200,000 for arranging to keeping black employees away from Mafioso Robert LiButti’s gambling table. And in 1991, the Casino Control Commission fined Trump’s company $450,000 for buying LiButti 9 luxury cars. In 2000, Trump was fined $250,000 for violating New York state law in lobbying to prevent an Indian casino from opening in the Catskills, fearing that it would compete against his Atlantic City casinos. Trump would admit no wrongdoing in the New York case but he’s now out of the casino business.

1986: With aims to expand his casino empire in Atlantic City, mounted a hostile takeover of Holiday and Bally by buying up stock in the companies in order to gain control. But Bally found what he was doing and sued Trump for anti-trust violations arguing, “Trump hopes to wrest control of Bally from its public shareholders without paying them the control premium they otherwise could command had they been adequately informed of Trump’s intentions.” Trump gave up in 1987 but was fined $750,000 by the Federal Trade Commission for failing to disclose his purchases of stock in the two companies, which exceeded minimum disclosure levels.

1990s: Along with his demolition contractor, was sued by Vera Coking for damage to her home during the construction of Trump Plaza and Casino. In 1997, she dropped the suit against Trump and settled with the contractor for $90,000. She refused to sell her home to Trump and won a 1998 Supreme Court decision that prevented Atlantic City from using eminent domain to condemn her property.

1994: Tried to cash in through dumping 24 million gallons of raw sewage in the Hudson River.

1994-2000s: Escaped a crippling debt load by selling the Riverside South development to a group from Hong Kong who let him keep a 30% stake in the partnership. Trump would later oversee construction of several Trump branded apartment towers and had plans for his logo to be spread over a big stretch of western Manhattan. However, in 2005, his Hong Kong partners who had a controlling stake decided to sell and use the proceeds to buy two skyscrapers without the Trump name: 1290 Avenue of the Americas in Manhattan and 555 California Street in San Francisco. Trump hated the deal and sued his partners to block it, arguing that the development bearing the Trump name was worth about $1 billion more than the price his partners had agreed on. Yet he ended up massively profiting from the transaction when Vornado Trust bought out his partners at a price valuing the two buildings at $2.6 billion. Trump remained in the partnership and saw his stake soar.

1993-1996: Opened his 290-foot Trump Princess Indiana riverboat casino in Gary, Indiana with the promise to donate 7.5% of its proceeds to charity before dumping his local minority investors. The jilted investors sued for breach of contract but he settled with 6 of them a year later for a total of more than $2.2 million. But no foundation was ever created and two investors refused to settle. Though the jury didn’t find Trump guilty of fraud (though his company liable), they awarded the remaining two investors $1.33 million. This led Trump to avoid making a charitable contribution that would’ve been worth $4.5 million to $30 million. He also cut a deal with the mayor before dumping the investors for a different foundation which Trump would run himself and wouldn’t receive any benefit from the riverboat. Trump would later win this suit against the two remaining investors on appeal. In 2005, Trump sold the Indiana riverboat for a quarter of a billion to Barden.

Screwing Clients, Customers, and Tenants:

1981-1986: Bought a building in Central Park South with aspirations to build luxury condos despite that the current tenants at the time were understandably unwilling to let go of their rent-controlled apartments. Trump used every trick in the book to get them out, even trying to reverse exceptions that the previous landlord had given him such as knocking down walls and threatening eviction. Tenants complaints range from cutting off heat and hot water as well as having building management refuse to make repairs or take action on any pest infestations (leading to two swearing in court that mushrooms grew on their carpet from a leak). Trump would later place newspaper ads offering to house homeless New Yorkers in empty units since he didn’t intend to fill the units with permanent residents anyway. City officials turned him down over the idea seeming inappropriate. Trump also sued tenants for $150 million when they complained. However, Trump gave in, settling the tenants and agreeing to monitoring. The building still stands today with his son Eric owning a unit on the top floor.

2013: Is sued by members of the Trump National Golf Club of Jupiter, Florida for breach of contract. In this class action lawsuit, the members allege that after Trump bought the resort from Marriot, he unilaterally changed membership terms in ways that converted their refundable deposits ranging from $55,000-$221,000 into nonrefundable deposits. Trump and his team deny any wrongdoing and the trial was set a week before the RNC.

Discrimination:

1973-1975: The Department of Justice filed suit against him and his father for housing discrimination at 39 sites around New York on grounds that Trump Management had refused to rent or negotiate rentals to racial minorities. The DOJ also charged them requiring different rental terms and conditions due to race as well as lied to blacks that apartments were unavailable. Trump called such accusations, “absolutely ridiculous.” He even denied the charges and insisted that the government was trying to force his company to rent to welfare recipients. The Trumps would later hire former Joe McCarthy defender Roy Cohn and sue the DOJ for $100 million. In the end, they settled with the government, promised not to discriminate, and submitted to regular review by the New York Urban League. But neither would admit their guilt.

1978: The Department of Justice brings him and his father back to court on contempt of consent decree pertaining to their promise not to discriminate. According to Wayne Barrett from Trump: The Deals and the Downfall, “Cohn picked up his argument where he’d left off, branding the new case a ‘rehash’ without ‘the slightest merit,’ attributable to ‘planted malcontents .’ It all remained irrelevant to Donald. The bottom line was that two government discrimination lawsuits had had no effect on the company’s ability to make development deals, usually with the government’s help. The charges were just not a part of the world in which he operated.”

Shady Ties:

1970s-?: Has been linked to the mafia many times over the years with varying degrees of closeness. Many seem to be the sorts of interactions with mobsters that were inevitable for someone in the construction and casino business at the time. Though Trump has portrayed himself as an unwilling participant, not everyone agrees since strings of other allegations persist. For instance, Trump’s lawyer Roy Cohn also represented Genovese crime family boss Tony Salerno. Cohn would later be disbarred for fraud and other serious wrongdoing in 1986. And according to investigative journalist Wayne Barrett, Trump paid twice the market rate to a mob figure for the land under Trump Plaza in Atlantic City. Michael Isikoff reported that Trump was close to John Gotti associate Robert LiButti whom he invited on his yacht and helicopter as well as bought him 9 luxury cars in one case. Though Trump has been questioned in court over the ties, he’s never been convicted of anything. Though Trump Plaza was fined $200,000 for keeping black employees away from LiButti’s table at his behest and $450,000 for giving him the cars. Say what you want about Ted Cruz, but his suggestion that Trump’s ties with the mafia which could be more extensive than reported might be a reason why he won’t release his tax returns seems to make a lot of sense. Because Cruz had evidence to back up this claim.

1990s: Is brought to the site of the 45 story Trump Tower Philadelphia by business partner Raoul Goldberg. In 2000, Goldberg was sentenced to 46 months in prison for trying to ship tens of thousands of ecstasy pills to the US.

1992: Senate subcommittee named then Trump Taj Mahal foreign marketing vice president Danny Leung as an associate of the Hong Kong-based organized crime group 14K Triad. Leung was also said to give complimentary tickets for hotel rooms and Asian shows to numerous Asian organized crime associates and members. The report also identified 3 other triad-connected business associates or former Trump casino empire employees. Also, according to the New York Daily News in 1995, Leung “flew in 16 Italian crime figures from Canada who stole more than $1 million from the casino in a credit scam. The incident was never reported because Trump never filed charges.” Leung has denied his organized crime affiliation while his casino and junket licenses were renewed.

2000s-present: Went into business with Azerbaijani billionaire playboy Anar Mammadov whose father is the country’s transportation minister. The project in question was to build a Trump Tower in Baku. Mammadov’s wealth has resulted in part from his father’s political connections as well as rich oil resource boom and has mounted mounted a PR campaign to rehabilitate Azerbaijan’s kleptocratic image in the West by courting some of Washington’s most powerful politicians. Azerbaijan is considered to be one of the most corrupt countries in the world due to its intolerance of dissent and the high wealth concentration among the politically powerful and their families. The Mammadovs have been called “The Corleones of the Caspian.”

2009: Allegedly tried to raise money from the regime of Muammar el-Qaddafi as well as set up a meeting to discuss business ventures. This despite the Libyan dictator’s notorious sponsorship of terrorism that has killed scores of Americans. Trump even had Qaddafi rent his opulent Westchester estate to erect a huge traditional tent during his stay and sacrifice a live lamb while in New York for a United Nations Assembly. Qaddafi agreed to stay at Trump’s property mostly because the despised tyrant had been obviously turned down by many other venues. The town of Bedford would yank permission for the tent after a storm of publicity stoked outrage which scuttled the Libyans’ plans and forced their leader to stay in Manhattan indoors. So Qaddafi never got the chance to sleep there.

2014: In New York Magazine, said of billionaire Jeffery Epstein, “He’s a lot of fun to be with. It is even said that he likes beautiful women as much as I do, and many of them are on the younger side. No doubt about it — Jeffrey enjoys his social life.” Epstein has been named in multiple lawsuits over the last several years for statutory rape, served 13 months in jail, and is a registered sex offender for life at Level 3 (the most dangerous kind. He has settled a few of them but still faces more than a dozen from women who claim he sexually assaulted them as minors.

2016: Despite claims to get tough with China, his Trump Bay Street real estate project in Jersey City is courting investments from Chinese backers through a program called EB-5, which lets foreign investors receive visas in exchange for $500,000 in a project promising to create jobs. Department of Homeland Security says the program lacks adequate background reviews. Since applicants are sometimes cleared in less than a month, critics say that the government is essentially selling visas foreigners with no proven skills, possibly paving way for money laundering and compromising national security. Of course, despite warning about the dangers of immigrant screening, Trump doesn’t seem to use background checks. Trump Bay Street is being built by Trump’s son-in-law’s company. And it doesn’t help that Jared Kushner’s father Charles was a former rainmaker in New Jersey Democratic politics who pleaded guilty to a federal campaign finance violation and filing false tax returns as attempts to silence a witness. The elder Kushner was sentenced to jail for two years on plea deal arranged by then US Attorney Chris Christie but he remains active in the company.

Sexual Misconduct Allegations (some of these may not be proven):

1980s: Allegedly shamelessly and repeatedly tried to seduce Robert LiButti’s then 30-something daughter Edith while still married to his first wife Ivana and even gave her a Mercedes Benz for her birthday but was threatened by the New Jersey mobster with castration. This according to David Clay Johnston.

1989: According to a book by Harry Hurt, Trump allegedly raped his then wife Ivana after getting angry at her over a painful scalp reduction surgery. Ivanna would later claim that her husband had raped her and that she “felt violated” during their divorce proceedings. Yet Ivanna would later release a statement saying: “During a deposition given by me in connection with my matrimonial case, I stated that my husband had raped me. [O]n one occasion during 1989, Mr. Trump and I had marital relations in which he behaved very differently toward me than he had during our marriage. As a woman, I felt violated, as the love and tenderness, which he normally exhibited towards me, was absent. I referred to this as a ‘rape,’ but I do not want my words to be interpreted in a literal or criminal sense.” Yet, keep in mind that Trump was having a five-year affair with future second wife Marla Maples and sought not only to publicly humiliate Ivana but also to profit from her humiliation. When The Daily Beast reported the incident, Trump’s right-hand man Michael Cohen threatened reporters and claimed-incorrectly-that a man can’t legally rape his wife. In 1992, Trump would sue Ivana for not honoring a gag clause in their divorce agreement by disclosing facts about him in her best-selling book and won. It’s one of several cases where Trump has been accused of misogyny including his comments of Megyn Kelly or his fury toward a lawyer who asked for a break to pump breast milk during a deposition in which Trump said, “You’re disgusting” and walked out.

1992: Embarked on an ill-fated effort to in running the American Dream pageant which resulted in him getting sued by George Houraney and Jill Harth. In it, they alleged that Trump kept black women out of the pageant as well as breach of contract. Harth would file another suit against Trump for alleging sexual misbehavior. According to her, Trump groped her at a party, made passes, and forced her into bedrooms. He was even said to join another model in bed, uninvited, late at night as well as calling all women bimbos and most gold diggers. Harth would drop her suit while she and Houraney settled with Trump for an unannounced sum. Trump has denied all allegations. Later beauty pageants scandals include winning a $5 million lawsuit against a former Miss Universe contestant who claimed that the pageant was rigged and a debacle with NBC and Univision over his comments about Mexicans. In the latter, Trump bought out NBC’s share and sold the company as well as sued Univision but settled in February.

Late-1990s: Was sued by a woman in Florida for $125 million on grounds that he had sexually harassed her and pulled out of a deal when she didn’t respond to his advances in 1993. Trump has denied the claims and the case appeared to be later withdrawn.

2007: Shared a story in his book Think BIG and Kick Ass where he’s giving a speech in front of 20,000 people and is asked by an attractive woman if she could audition for The Apprentice. Trump called her up and asked if she’s ever cheated on her husband. She says she had but she’s never told him. Trump then advised her to hire a lawyer and sign a pre-nup as a divorce would likely ensue. This was featured in a chapter centering around the importance of pre-nups which Trump has some expertise in like two failed marriages and excessive adultery.

2016: Allegedly charged in with child rape of a 13 year old girl for which there is an eyewitness and credible information to support the claim. The woman filing suit claims in 1994 she was enticed to attend parties with the promise of money and modeling jobs at the home of Jeffrey Epstein, after the man was convicted of misconduct with another underage girl. Anyway, she alleges that Trump initiated sexual contact with her on 4 separate occasions, with the 4th being “savage sexual attack” in which he had her tied to a bed and forcibly raped her while she pleaded him to stop. He threatened that she and her family would be “physically harmed if not killed” if she ever told anyone. Epstein’s party planner was an eyewitness who wrote, “I am coming forward to swear to the truthfulness of the physical and sexual abuse that I personally witnessed of minor females at the hands of Mr. Trump and Mr. Epstein . . . I swear to these facts under the penalty for perjury even though I fully understand that the life of myself and my family is now in grave danger.”

Government Money Shenanigans:

1978, 1979, and 1984: Paid no federal income taxes.

1980s: Cheated New York City out of nearly $2.9 million for his projects.

2000s: Took $150,000 from the Empire State Development Corporation which was designed to help small businesses after 9/11 when many of them were destroyed or went under. At the time, Trump’s 40 Wall Street building had suffered economically and employed fewer than 500 people. But the last condition was controversial, according to the New York Daily News who found that the program had “ignored the federal definition of a small business and adopted a much looser standard. The ESDC used employee counts…to determine whether applicants were small businesses. Federal law requires that the size category of the types of businesses most common in lower Manhattan—finance, insurance, real estate, and law firms—be determined based on annual revenue.” Local politicians were furious that they issued an open letter demanding that Trump return the money.

2013: Received a New York tax rebate available only to those who earned less than $500,000 annually, undercutting claims that he makes hundreds of millions in income. Trump later called the rebate an error.

Charity Scams:

1980s-present: Has made numerous claims on promising to give to charity in his promotions despite that media organizations have been unable to verify his claims.

1987-present: Though often promising to give to charity, his Trump Foundation has proven rather skimpy on the gifts over the years and when it has given, the money has often come from other pockets than Trump’s, including outside donors and even NBC. Most Trump Foundation donors made only one contribution between 2001-2014 and most don’t talk about it. And most of the donors were either working with Trump or received something from him around the same time he donated. It has also collected more than $600,000 from other charities. Its case involving a $25,000 donation to Florida Attorney General Pam Bondi has been under special scrutiny since she later dropped investigations over Trump University and Trump Institute shortly afterwards. Both Trump and Bondi said there was no quid-pro-quo but the donation was illegal and the foundation was fined. A Washington liberal watchdog group called Citizens for Responsibility and Ethics charges that other laws might’ve been broken as well. Basically, it can be well established that Trump has used is charity as a personal slush fund.

1988: Promised to donate $2 million made from advising Mike Tyson to charity through his foundation. But the Trump Foundation never received the donation. That same year, Trump promised to donate $50,000 he made from a Pepsi commercial to charity. Once again, his foundation posts no record of that donation.

2006: Contributed $1000 to the New York Rescue Workers Detoxification Fund, which is a controversial Scientology program co-founded by Tom Cruise. This charity provided a “purification rundown” for firemen and others who inhaled toxins while working near the smoldering remains of the World Trade Center.

2007: Promised to make a $250,000 donation to Friends of the Israeli Defense Forces but didn’t.

2007: Wife Melania bid $20,000 on a 6 foot portrait of him created by a “speed painter” at a breast cancer fundraiser which as at Mar-a-Lago, using Trump Foundation money. Trump kept the painting which now reportedly hangs at one of his golf courses. The Trump Foundation also paid $12,000 for a football helmet and jersey signed by Tim Tebow in 2012 as well as a $150,000 to the Palm Beach Police Foundation which led to Trump receiving the “Palm Beach Award.” Yet, money came from the New Jersey based Charles Evans Foundation and when those donations stopped, so did the Trump contributions to the police charity as well. Adding insult to injury, the Palm Beach Police Foundation has even held its charity dinner at Trump’s Mar-a-Lago club in Palm Beach which paid $276,463 in rental fees in 2014.

2008: Bought a $120,000 luxury trip with Trump Foundation money during a charity auction. It’s said that the Washington Post has confirmed that Trump has only donated $10,000 to charity within the last 7 years.

2016: Held a fundraiser in Iowa for veterans’ groups which was launched as a protest event after he refused to attend the Fox News debate and raised less than the $6 billion he initially claimed. It is unlikely that Trump contributed $1 million of his own money which the Marine Corps Law Enforcement Foundation hasn’t confirmed. Some groups have complained that they haven’t received their money yet. It’s likely that he’s committed fraud. Though he claims to be an “ardent philanthropist,” he’s actually only donated $3.7 million to his own foundation between 1990 and 2009 while a wrestling company has contributed $5 million. Overall he’s said to only contribute a paltry $6.7 over the last 20 years. He ranks among the least charitable billionaires in the world.

Lawsuits:

1970s-present: As of 2016, has been subject to numerous lawsuits including 79 branding and trademark cases, 6 campaign cases, 1,863 casino cases, 206 contract dispute cases, 130 employment cases, 61 golf club cases, 191 government and taxes cases, 13 media and defamation cases, 191 other cases, 695 personal injury cases, and 621 real estate cases. This makes 4,056 in all. USA Today has a whole article on it with graphs to show. You got that right.

1980s-present: As of 2016, has been named in 169 federal lawsuits.

1980s: Sued Julius and Edmond Trump who were trying to buy a chain of drug stores with their business being called, “The Trump Group.” This was mostly because they happened to be businessmen who had the same last name he did. Trump alleged that the two brothers were nothing but a pair of late arriving immigrants trying to piggyback on his good name. According to him, “Plaintiffs have used the Trump family name for 40 to 50 years in the New York area. More recently, the Trump Organization has come to stand for respectability and success across the United States. The defendants are South Africans whose recent entrance in the New York area utilizing the name ‘the Trump Group’ can only be viewed as a poorly veiled attempt at trading on the goodwill, reputation and financial credibility of the plaintiff.” This too 5 decades to resolve, it was thrown out.

1984: Sued a Chicago Tribune architecture critic for $500 billion for criticizing his plans to build a skyscraper in Lower Manhattan when he hadn’t even hired an architect yet.The case was dismissed.

1990: Named defendant in 21 lawsuits filed by different businesses and individuals, several on grounds of securities fraud and breach of contract. Most complaints stemmed from Trump’s corporation filing for bankruptcy from creditors following construction of the Taj Mahal Casino in Atlantic City. According to The New York Times, the resort was $3 billion in debt.

1990s-2000s: Has sued Palm Beach 3 different times. In 1992, he sued membership club Mar-a-Lago for $100 million. The council gave in and allowed him to make some of his property into a private club. Has sued the Palm Beach Airport for noise violations and tried to prevent them from expanding near his private club. This legal fight cost Palm Beach taxpayers at least $600,000. The latest one was in the late 2000s which was featured on the Colbert Report. In this one, Trump sued Palm Beach for $25 million on grounds that the town cited him for displaying an American flag on his property. Trump told Politico, “The town council of Palm Beach should be ashamed of itself. They’re fining me for putting up the American flag. This is probably a first in United States history.” God, I really feel bad for this community.

1993: Sued wealthy financier and Jay Pritzker for civil racketeering over his family’s management of the Grand Hyatt Hotel in New York City where they were equal partners.

1995-2003: Was sued by ex-wife Marla Maples’ personal assistant which was eventually dismissed. But not without accusations of nude pictures being sent to the tabloids and panty stealing.

2005-2009: Sued New York Times reporter Tim O’Brien for $5 billion over libel. This over O’Brien publishing a 2005 book Trump Nation in which he estimated Trump’s net worth at $150-$250 contrary to the billions he claimed earning ire from his subject. The suit was tossed but not without Trump saying that he estimates his wealth based on his mood on any given day, not his financial statements. Yet, O’Brien has mocked Trump’s current net worth claims while Trump has said on the campaign trail and in an interview with the Washington Post that he wants to make it easier to sue for libel. The Post combed through Trump’s deposition in the case and found 30 instances where he admitted to having lied. As of this year during the presidential campaign, Trump still hasn’t released his tax returns mostly because the public doesn’t care, according to him.

2007: Sued law firm Morrison Cohen who represented him for several years over treating him as a cash cow because of fees it sought from him after it won a case where Trump claimed he’d been overcharged by a contractor for work on a golf course. Remember this is from a guy who has been reported to never pay his contractors or lawyers. The firm countersued Trump seeking an extra $470,000 in unpaid legal bills. He settled with an undisclosed sum.

2008: Sued Deutsche Bank and Fortress Investment Group, along with a long list of smaller lenders who were financing his 92-story Chicago hotel and condominium project. Earlier, Trump had personally guaranteed $40 million of Deutsche Bank’s $640 million construction loan but when the money was due, he asked for an extension citing the recession. They refused. In court documents, he condemned Deutsche Bank’s “predatory lending prices,” and partially blamed the global institution for causing the financial crisis, asking for $3 billion in damages. The bank countersued Trump for the $40 million that was promised. They reached an agreement in 2010 with the loan extended to 5 years.

2008: Sued Rancho Palos Verdes, California where he developed a golf course for $100 million in damages for allegedly violating his civil rights and defrauding him. The town’s annual budget is $20 million. The suit charges that the town had been delaying plans for adding 20 luxury grounds of Trump’s National Golf Course, while requiring stringent environmental and safety studies since the area is known to have landslides. But Trump insisted that the town has forced him to spend “millions of dollars on unnecessary, repetitive, unreasonable and unlawful geologic surveys.” He was also pissed that locals balked at renaming a highway Trump National Drive. The judge ruled against part of his claims by denying him permission to build the luxury homes, noting that such plans were never submitted to the city. But it has approved plans for another 36 homes.

2013: Sued comedian Bill Maher who offered on The Tonight Show to give Trump $5 million if he could prove that his father wasn’t an orangutan (as a spoof of Trump’s offer to give $5 million to charity if President Obama would release his records and applications for colleges and passports). Trump sent a copy of his birth certificate to Maher but the latter didn’t pay up. Trump would say, “He has not responded, and the reason he hasn’t responded is his lawyers probably tell him, ‘You’ve got yourself a problem.’” Maher would reply on his show, “Donald Trump must learn two things–what a joke is, and what a contract is.”

2013: Countersued New York Attorney General Eric Schneiderman for $100 million for malicious prosecution over bringing suit against Trump Institute and Trump University seeking $40 million in restitution for fraud and other violations. The counterclaim was dismissed 3 months later with permission to refile if Trump successfully defends himself against Schneiderman’s underlying pending suit.

Scams:

Mid-2000s: Involved in condo hotels, a pre real-estate crash fixation in which people would buy units they’d use for vacation but would be rented out as hotel rooms for the rest of the year with the developer and owner sharing a profit. For a variety of reasons, this turned out to be a terrible idea resulting in condo buyers suing over claims they were bilked. Trump’s role in the project is uncertain since he’s often sold his name rights to developers where he gets payoff and the aura of luxury the name imparts. But in some condo hotel suits, buyers complain that they bought these properties as investments because of his name only to realize he was barely involved. Trump has also been subject to complaints about his involvements in a multi-level marketing scheme. In Manhattan’s Trump SoHo, it turns out that Trump’s partners had a lengthy criminal past. Bayrock Group’s Tevfik Arif had been detained in Turkey on suspicion of running a high priced prostitution ring. This consisted of him setting up trysts between wealthy businessmen and Eastern European models, some underage aboard a $60 million yacht once used by the nation’s founder Ataturk. The police raid kind of plays like a scene from the first Taken movie. Felix Sater was a convicted stock swindler who had an associate show up in a court-ordered ankle monitor and escaped prison only by helping to convict 19 others, including 6 members of New York City’s crime families. Two associates served prison time for cocaine. Trump claimed he didn’t know this but settled the lawsuit with buyers and that the project was financed by questionable sources in Russia and Kazakhstan (though he didn’t admit to any wrongdoing). In Fort Lauderdale, Trump International Tower and Hotel went into foreclosure and Trump has sued the complex’s developer. In 2013, he settled a suit with prospective buyers who lost millions when a Baja Mexico development went under. Again, Trump blamed the developers, saying he only licensed his name.

2005-2010: Started Trump University, an online “university” to teach his real estate development secrets. Students spent up as much as $35,000, some after being suckered in by slick free “seminars” to learn how to get rich. One ad promised that they would “learn from Donald Trump’s handpicked instructors, and that participants would have access to Trump’s real estate ‘secrets.’” In reality, Trump had little to do with the curriculum or instructors while many “students” have since complained that Trump U. was a scam. Well, at one time it had some prestigious instructors but over time “the faculty” became a motley bunch of misfits. Also, it wasn’t really a “university” by any definition and would later change its name to the “Trump Entrepreneur Initiative” because the school just happened to violate New York law by operating without an educational license. The school shut down in 2010 but the litigation continues. Trump is now being sued by New York for bilking students out of $40 million and is subject to 2 class-action lawsuits in California. In the meantime, Trump has appeared to trying to intimidate plaintiffs, including countersuing one for $1 million (a favorite litigation tactic of his) and refusing to let her withdraw from the suit. While his lawyers have cited positive reviews, former students say they were pressured to give those. A set of damning internal documents were released under court order in May. And Trump decided to attack the judge, claiming that his Mexican ethnicity made him biased. Republicans would later repudiate him across the board while some have openly called him racist. There are lots of articles on this.

2005-?: While operating Trump University, franchised his name to Mike and Irene Milin who ran Trump Institute as well as were known serial operators of get-rich-quick schemes. Trump didn’t own company but instead, licensed his name, appeared in an infomercial, and promised that he would hand-pick instructors (like with Trump U). According to Jonathan Martin, Trump Institute’s course materials contained textbooks fond to be plagiarized. The Milins were forced to declare bankruptcy in 2008 because of law enforcement investigations and lawsuits against their company. But Trump Institute continued on a few years afterwards. One of Trump’s aides said he was unaware of the plagiarism but claimed he stood by the curriculum.

2006-2015: Was spokesman for an investment telecommunications company called ACN where investors had to hand over a $500 sign-up fee and then build a consumer base of new investors in a pyramid scheme fashion. Obviously, the entire thing toppled over and investors lost hundreds of thousands of dollars while Trump walked away with millions. A 2011 episode of The Apprentice was devoted to hawking an ACN videophone which has since flopped. Today, ACN is regularly accused of operating a pyramid scheme by its disaffected sales associates.

2009: Franchised his name to the Trump Network which was already accused of being a multi-level marketing scheme pertaining to multivitamins while under Ideal Health. This involved customers mailing in a urine sample which would be analyzed for them in a specially formulated multivitamin package. The company fell on hard times within a few years, leaving some salespeople in tough financial straits. One single mother ended up losing her house and had her car repossessed in the middle of the night.

Suppression and Intimidation:

1990: Threatened to sue Philadelphia brokerage house Janney Montgomery Scott unless they fired gaming securities analyst Marvin Roffman over issuing a negative forecast for Trump Taj Mahal. The firm complied and fired him for “insubordination” but Roffman’s forecast was accurate. Roffman later founded a financial advisory firm the next year that ran more than $500 million by 2007 and now lives in a 40 room and 15,000 square foot mansion in Delaware. Yet, he later said, “But that doesn’t excuse the hell he subjected me to in 1990, sliming my reputation so much that I got fired and couldn’t find another job as an analyst. He acted viciously towards me because, I guess, he felt that I had personally attacked his brand. His image is all-important to him.” According to Barron’s, his life immediately after being canned was a living hell, especially when he sued his former employer for wrongful discharge and Trump for defamation and interference with his contractual relationship with his employment by threatening legal action if Roffman didn’t apologize for his Wall Street Journal remarks. He sought $2 million in punitive damages. Both cases would be settled after dragging on for months. Nevertheless, compared to a lot of Trump’s victims, Roffman was lucky.

1991: Suppressed an 80 – minute documentary called Trump: What’s the Deal? with threats of litigation to broadcasters and distributors. This is because the film painted a powerful and disturbing portrait of Trump as a financial Dorian Gray whose public image bears little resemblance to his conduct away from the cameras, including hiring actors for $50 each to applaud at his campaign announcement. While Trump presents himself as a businessman so skilled in deals as an art form, the film takes down this façade by showing him manipulating politicians and the criminal justice system, pocketing millions in taxpayer welfare, not paying people he hired, doing some of his biggest deals with mobsters, keeping a cocaine dealer as his helicopter pilot, and evidently benefitting from having his sister work in the Justice Department before being appointed as a federal judge. It even featured former advisors and employees describing furious tirades that no one, not even his family, could escape as well as how he lacks any real friends. Though Trump succeeded with suppressing the documentary, it’s now available online for those interested in watching it.

2011: Sent New York Times writer Gail Collins a copy of her column on his potential presidential run with “The Face of a Dog” written all over it.

2011: Threatened to sue rapper Mac Miller for his “Donald Trump” song with a music video that became a Youtube sensation. Between obscene lyrics, Miller vowed to “take over the world when I’m on my Donald Trump shit.” Trump wasn’t amused when the rapper sent him a wooden plaque honoring the song’s success. He tweeted to Miller “I’m now going to teach you a big boy lesson about lawsuits and finance. You ungrateful dog!” The rapper replied, “i’m not trying to put any negative energy into the world. @realDonaldTrump let’s be friends.” No suit has been filed.

2011: Threatened to sue MSNBC host Laurence O’Donnell who accused him of being worth less than $1 billion. Trump tweeted, “I heard, because his show is unwatchable, that @Lawrence has made many false statements last night about me. Maybe I should sue him?” He then went on to say he was substantially worth more than $7 billion with very low debt, great assets. O’Donnell replied that the threat was “awfully soft” for Trump and insisted, “I know his big secret, his biggest secret, and he knows that I know it: Donald Trump cannot afford to sue me.=”#45055857″>”

2013: Threatened to sue Angelo Carusone, organizer of a campaign to get Macy’s to drop Trump as a celebrity spokesperson and remove Trump-branded products from its shelves. The petition claimed that Trump had “long engaged in sexist behavior” and “used his public platform to deny the reality of climate change.” In a letter, Trump’s lawyer accused Carusone of using “mob-like bullying and coercion” and informed him that if he failed to cease and desist, Trump would sue him for no less than $25 million in damages. However, he’d soon back out. But Carusone would get his wish in 2015 after Trump called Mexicans rapists and criminals.

Political Misdeeds:

1990s: Promised an amusement park in Bridgeport, Connecticut that fell through after a bitter struggle with rival Steve Wynn, which resulted in him owing $300,000 in back taxes. This was forgiven by the mayor at the time if Trump would sell the land for $1. That mayor would later spend 7 years in prison on corruption charges.

2010: Donated campaign money to then Texas Attorney General Greg Abbott who was also looking in to investigating Trump University. And like Bondi, Abbott decided not to pursue it mostly due to “political reasons” according to a former Texas official.

2010: Trump Foundation made a $10,000 donation to the American Spectator Foundation which is a nonprofit group that publishes the arch-conservative magazine of the same name as well as $5,000 to the Liberty Foundation which is an advocacy group run by Supreme Court Justice Clarence Thomas’s wife.

2011: Through the Trump Foundation, made a $10,000 donation to the Palmetto Family Council, a group which opposes divorce, same-sex marriage, and abortion in South Carolina.

2012: Through the Trump Foundation coffers, made a $100,000 donation to the Billy Graham Evangelistic Association and $35,000 to Samaritan’s Purse. Both are Christian nonprofits run by Franklin Graham with the former being an advocacy group. When Trump proposed banning Muslims from entering the US late in 2015, Franklin Graham took to Facebook to defend him. Other conservative and religious groups have also been Trump Foundation grantees around the same time including the American Conservative Union, the anti-abortion group Justice for All, and the Texas-based evangelical ministry the Family Leader Foundation.

2013: Donated money to Florida Attorney General Pam Bondi’s reelection campaign while her office was deciding whether or not to pursue a fraud case against Trump Institute and Trump University. Bondi dropped the investigation 4 days after the Trump Foundation contributed $25,000 to And Justice For All, which was backing her reelection. The Trump Foundation later recorded the incorrect recipient as the gift and later had to pay a $2,500 penalty to the IRS but even then didn’t recoup the money as required. I believe the correct term describing this transaction is a bribe. After that, a liberal watchdog group filed a complaint to the IRS accusing the Trump Foundation of using the charity to benefit a group’s leader. At the same time, Trump’s family gave more to her while Trump himself hosted a fundraiser at his Mar-A-Lago in Florida, charging less than market rate and less than he charged his own campaign to host events there. When this came to light in 2016, Trump moved $25,000 from his personal account to compensate his foundation and paid a $2,500 IRS fine. Trump Foundation representatives have said the contribution was made in error (yeah right).

2013: Trump Foundation donated at least $40,000 to the Drumthwacket Foundation a charity dedicated to preserving the New Jersey governor’s mansion and whose other donors have close ties to Chris Christie.

2014: Trump Foundation made donation to the Moran Eye Center, a Utah hospital sponsoring Kentucky US Senator Rand Paul’s annual medical trips to Central America to perform eye surgery in poor and rural communities. Trump even sponsored one such trip to Guatemala.

2014: Made a $100,000 through the Trump Foundation to Citizens United, the infamous conservative group best known for a lawsuit that resulted in the US Supreme Court striking down many limits of the kinds of campaign donations Trump has criticized during his candidacy. This 2009 case permitted corporations to spend unlimited amounts of money backing political candidates. Even better, Citizens United was engaged in a lawsuit with New York Attorney General Eric Schneiderman who was also pursuing a civil lawsuit against Trump University. Schneiderman’s office called this donation part of a vendetta by Trump while Citizens United has rejected claims between the donation and its own lawsuit against the New York attorney general. Schneiderman is currently investigating the Trump Foundation as we speak.

Presidential Campaign:

2015-2016: Has used his entire presidential campaign as an outgrowth to build and promote his personal brand. Has devoted speeches to attacking a judge in the fraud suit against his “university,” encouraging surrogates to do the same, and promising to relaunch the enterprise if elected. Celebrated Brexit which drove down the pound’s value and proved helpful for driving his visitors to his Scottish golf course. When asked if he would put his holdings in a blind trust, Trump replied he would but defined “blind trust” to mean that his children would run his business for him, which is not what a blind trust is.

2015: Campaign launches Make America Great Again PAC, a pro-Trump Super-PAC created by Stephanie Stephanie Cegielski which is financed in part by Ivanka Trump’s mother-in-law Seryl Kushner whose husband was a convicted Democratic financier Charles who was sentence to 2 years in prison on 18 federal charges. Cegieleski now believes Trump is mentally unfit for office and the Super-PAC is now defunct after 4 months in operation (though the group’s website is said to still be in operation as of March so the Super-PAC may still be active). Though the official excuse is Trump’s disavowal of Super-PACs, it was also facing scrutiny over suspect collaboration with Trump’s campaign office.

2015: Trump Organization’s general counsel sent a cease-and-desist letter to Right to Rise PAC which was a PAC for the Jeb Bush campaign. In it they preemptively warned that aired any misleading or defamatory ads against Trump, they’d be sued. RTR said it was a leadership PAC not a Super PAC and didn’t produce TV ads. RTR also filed a complaint against Trump with the Federal Elections Commission for allegedly violating election laws by using his corporate in-house counsel for campaign purposes. Trump has denied wrongdoing. The FEC confirms the complaint but declines to comment.

2016: Hired Corey Lewandowski as his campaign manager despite his relatively short resume. For a time, it seemed to work well until a Brietbart reporter tried to ask Trump a question after a press conference. Lewandowski reached out and wrenched her out of the way. Though the two insisted that the incident never happened and that Fields was “delusional,” witnesses and surveillance footage acquired by Jupiter Police from Trump National clearly show otherwise. Lewandowski was arrested for battery but the prosecutor didn’t press charges. Trump has said that he could’ve been in danger, since Fields’ pen could’ve been a bomb (for the love of God, this is just bullshit).

2016: Might’ve illegally offered Ben Carson a job after he dropped out of the presidential race.

2016: Found in FEC filings by the Daily Beast that his presidential campaign had spent more than $55,000 buying his own book, Crippled America: How to Make America Great Again. Meaning that Trump used campaign donations to buy a book, sending cash back to himself. Copies were also given to delegates at the Republican National Convention. According to campaign expert Paul S. Ryan, this maneuver goes against FEC rules as he told the Beast: “It’s fine for a candidate’s book to be purchased by his committee, but it’s impermissible to receive royalties from the publisher… There’s a well established precedent from the FEC that funds from the campaign account can’t end up in your own pocket.” The Huffington Post later discovered that Trump jacked up rent for campaign offices when he stopped funding his own campaign.

2016: Hired Paul Manafort as his campaign manager who has been known to offer his services to pro-Russian Ukranian President Viktor Yanukovych and Philippines leader Ferdinand Marcos, both who were driven from power by popular revolution (with one infamously married to an avid shoe collector). Ukranian ledgers reveal that the Yanukovych regime paid Manafort $12.7 million in undisclosed cash payments. Manfort has also lobbied for Saudi Arabia, a Bahamian president suspected of narcotics trafficking, and a former Angolan rebel leader accused of torture. And he has been well compensated with his firm said to accept clients who’d pay $250,000 a year as a retainer.

2016: Recruited Roger Ailes as a campaign adviser after he was forced to resign as CEO of Fox News over sexual harassment allegations from dozens of women. According to these women, Ailes’s behavior was positively monstrous. But what you might not know is that Ailes’s abusive and predatory actions toward women were so well-known and so loathsome that the folks in the Nixon administration refused to allow him work there in 1969. This is despite playing a key role in getting Nixon elected. The Nixon administration was responsible for Watergate.

2016: Quintupled rent charged to his campaign for using Trump Tower between March and July, despite it having fewer paid staff in the latter month. It’s obvious that Trump has raised the rent once his campaign has been financed primarily by outside contributions rather than the candidate himself. The Wall Street Journal has reported that 17% of Trump’s campaign spending has gone to companies linked to himself, his children, or to reimburse their travel expenses.

2016: Is endorsed by US Representative Chris Collins who becomes his first congressional backer. Yet, a new report suggests that he only did so because state party and bigwig Trump ally, Carl Paladino blackmailed him by threatening to deploy his vast political resources against him. He also aggressively pushed and threatened Republicans on New York’s delegation to Congress and its state legislature to support Trump. Basically he did this by writing in an open letter, “This is our last request that you join ‘Trump for President’ and try to preserve what’s left of your pathetic careers in government.” In addition, he threatened Republican delegates to the 2016 RNC if they didn’t vote for Trump as pledged, “I don’t trust our entire delegation (…) I’d certainly whack them if they went off the reservation.”

2016: Received first campaign donation from Aon Corp. Newman Team CEO, Pamela Newman who has also gave money to Trump’s Super-PAC and hosted a fundraiser dinner for him. Trump’s campaign in turn paid Aon $300,000 for insurance.

2016: Ran an Op-Ed in a Northern Marianas newspaper ahead of the territory’s primary which was virtually identical to a piece Ben Carson wrote a few days prior.

2016: Threatened to sue Ted Cruz to reverse the Iowa Caucus results due to him allegedly making misstatements about Ben Carson leaving the race. He then repeatedly sued to have Cruz declared constitutionally ineligible for the presidency because he’s not a “natural born citizen.” To be fair, Cruz was born in Canada but since his mother was born in the US, he certainly qualifies.

Miscellaneous:

1989: Faked a near death experience to get front page headlines after a tragic helicopter accident kills 5 including 3 Trump executives. He claimed that he was supposed to be on that helicopter but changed his mind at the last minute.

1996: Already struggling Trump Hotels and Casinos is offered a boost from the Hard Rock chain owner the Rank Group by proposing an investment in Trump’s Castle that would’ve helped reverse declining fortunes for the company. This consisted of Rank proposing purchasing a 50% interest in as much as $350 million and valuing the property at $180 million more than what Trump paid for it. All Rank wanted was to rebrand the property simply as Hard Rock. Any sane business person in Trump’s position would take this deal. But not Trump who backed out at the last minute because he wanted his name to stay on the property and that it be renamed Hard Rock at Trump’s Marina. Rank walked and the Trump Hotel stock price continued to dive. Trump later told Fortune magazine that he remembers nothing about negotiations with Rank.

2000s: Though he did give an eloquent defense of New York’s response during 9/11, has ignored pleas to help 9/11 first responders pass the James Zadroga Act reauthorization which set up a healthcare fund for police, firefighter, and other rescue workers. Several other candidates had but Trump remained silent despite receiving multiple letters and calls from the Citizens for Extension of the James Zadroga Act, according to ABC. One of the group’s board members told the network, “I’m mortified that he can stand in front of the nation and wrap himself in a flag.”

2006: Bought an estate at Balmedie, Aberdeenshire in Scotland and built a golf course, against the wishes of locals. Trump promised the town his golf course project would create 6,000 jobs but later admitted, it only produced 200.

2006: Was court ordered to hand over several years’ worth of e-mails but claimed that the Trump Organization routinely erased e-mails and had no records from 1996-2001. The defendants said this amounted to destruction of evidence which was never resolved. A Trump IT director testified that Trump Tower executives relied on personal e-mail accounts through dial-up connection. This despite that Trump launched a high-speed Internet provider in 1998 as well as announced that he’d wire his whole building with it. Another said Trump had no routine process of preserving e-mails before 2005.

2007: Advised investors to buy “Subprime Mortgages At A Discount, And Repossessed Houses At Low Prices.” According to NBC, “The subprime mortgage crisis alone caused millions of Americans to lose their homes, but that same Globe and Mail piece reports Trump was ‘advising investors that there are now great deals in buying subprime mortgages at a discount, and repossessed houses at low prices.’” [

2015: Claimed in a financial statement that he’s given away $102 million worth in land but never supplied any information as to what this land is. My guess it’s probably some real estate on Middle Earth.

2015: In a financial statement, claimed an income of $362 million which was later determined as gross revenue and his actual income is likely one third of that.

2015: Claimed that he saw people jumping from the World Trade Center from his apartment even though Trump Tower is located more than 4 miles from the site. So it’s dubious at best.

2016: Though regularly boasts being worth $10 billion, a Fortune analysis estimated it’s likely between 1/3 and ½ that amount.

For more:

http://thejoshuablogs.blogspot.com/2016/08/heres-proof-of-donald-trumps-failures.html

http://www.usatoday.com/pages/interactives/trump-lawsuits/

 

The Bookbaggy World of Incredible Backpacks

backpack-crazy-32773

Whether it is for school, hiking, travel, or other things, backpacks have become an essential component to carry things while keeping our hands free. As with purses, several types exist with many shapes, sizes, and colors. Of course, if you went to middle or high school in my area, you had to get a backpack that was either of clear plastic or mesh for security reasons. Don’t ask. While I can tell you all about the wonderful backpack designs out there, chances are you’ll probably be bored to death because you’ve seen them all over and over again. Instead, I’ll show you backpacks that you might find quite strange that I’ve seen on Pinterest and Google Images. Some of these might have crazy designs that you may have never seen before. Some may even feature some extra components that will make you unable to afford them. So for your reading pleasure, I give you a glimpse into the world of crazy backpacks.

  1. Is that a hand coming from that backpack?
Okay, that's kind of creepy. Not something that you'd want your child to carry at school. Unless you're in the Addams family.

Okay, that’s kind of creepy. Not something that you’d want your child to carry at school. Unless you’re in the Addams family.

2. Didn’t know you can find an owl in camouflage.

Too bad that real life owls don't come in camo patterns unlike this backpack. Oh, wait, they actually use camouflage when staking out for prey. Just not in that pattern. My mistake.

Too bad that real life owls don’t come in camo patterns unlike this backpack. Oh, wait, they actually use camouflage when staking out for prey. Just not in that pattern. My mistake.

3. This GPS and Wi-Fi backpack will help you get where you need to go.

Except if you're stuck in the middle of the woods with poor cellphone reception. This GPS system backpack won't help you there. So you're on your own.

Except if you’re stuck in the middle of the woods with poor cellphone reception. This GPS system backpack won’t help you there. So you’re on your own.

4. This galaxy backpack has stars that can even glow in the dark.

It's the kind of backpack that Neil Degrasse Tyson wished he could have when he was in school since he always admires the wonders of the universe. Too bad for him, this backpack wasn't available at the time.

It’s the kind of backpack that Neil Degrasse Tyson wished he could have when he was in school since he always admires the wonders of the universe. Too bad for him, this backpack wasn’t available at the time.

5. This backpack relies on the power of the sun.

So you can feel free to charge your electronic devices you might have in them. So you're good to go if you can afford this.

So you can feel free to charge your electronic devices you might have in them. So you’re good to go if you can afford this.

6. If you like Tetris than this is the backpack for you.

Even has a non-computerized version of Tetris. Hope you can fit all the pieces.

Even has a non-computerized version of Tetris. Hope you can fit all the pieces.

7. Now that’s what I call a literal book bag.

So it's a messenger bag. But it still counts as a backpack in many areas. Not to mention, it's shaped like a book.

So it’s a messenger bag. But it still counts as a backpack in many areas. Not to mention, it’s shaped like a book.

8. Keep your belongings secure in this Batman backpack or Batpack.

Sure it might seem to be a bit cartoonish. However, this was made for schoolchildren so I'll allow it.

Sure it might seem to be a bit cartoonish. However, this was made for schoolchildren so I’ll allow it.

9. This backpack is all covered in golden jingles.

Memes on this one sometimes go "How to make everyone in school hate you." Well, I have to agree it certainly does the trick.

Memes on this one sometimes go “How to make everyone in school hate you.” Well, I have to agree it certainly does the trick.

10. Ever wished you had a Doritos backpack? Now you can.

Is this made from a Doritos bag or just looks like it? Either way someone is bound to like it.

Is this made from a Doritos bag or just looks like it? Either way someone is bound to like it.

11. Hope you can strum it up with this guitar backpack.

From Crooked Brains: "This guitar-shaped bag is made from premium vegetable-dyed calf leather and comes with an integrated mini speaker and outlet for you to connect your favorite MP3 player." So I guess this is very expensive.

From Crooked Brains: “This guitar-shaped bag is made from premium vegetable-dyed calf leather and comes with an integrated mini speaker and outlet for you to connect your favorite MP3 player.” So I guess this is very expensive.

12. Safely carry your gadgets in this multimedia backpack.

Because you can't possibly live without the electronics in your life. This allows you to carry them as safely and comfortably as professionals do.

Because you can’t possibly live without the electronics in your life. This allows you to carry them as safely and comfortably as professionals do.

13. If you’re happy and you know it clap your hands…except if you’re a T-Rex.

Because T-Rexes have very small hands which doesn't make for great clapping. No wonder they went extinct.

Because T-Rexes have very small hands which doesn’t make for great clapping. No wonder they went extinct.

14. If you want your packpack to have ornate Asian designs, this is just the one for you.

Yes, it seems like it was made straight from the Himalayas. But it's ornate, pretty, and could carry things. And that's all that matters.

Yes, it seems like it was made straight from the Himalayas. But it’s ornate, pretty, and could carry things. And that’s all that matters.

15. Keep your belongings on the Dark Side of the Force with this Darth Vader backpack.

Yes, the Dark Side is especially strong in this woman. However, it has the potential to choke you if you fail him for the last time.

Yes, the Dark Side is especially strong in this woman. However, it has the potential to choke you if you fail him for the last time.

16. The Smart Versatile Arrow Backpack was built for comfort.

From Crooked Brains: "This multi purpose backpack focuses on the comfort of the wearer; it can be expanded to suit your needs and has large and wide neoprene straps for better comfort."

From Crooked Brains: “This multi purpose backpack focuses on the comfort of the wearer; it can be expanded to suit your needs and has large and wide neoprene straps for better comfort.”

17. This owl backpack is a real hoot.

Yes, this is another owl backpack. But, c'mon, it'll make you seem quite smart even if you may not be. Like how owls are perceived in the bird world.

Yes, this is another owl backpack. But, c’mon, it’ll make you seem quite smart even if you may not be. Like how owls are perceived in the bird world.

18. This Chewbacca backpack will make for a reliable furry friend.

Sure it won't be able to rip off an enemy's arm from its socket. But Star Wars fans will love it anyway.

Sure it won’t be able to rip off an enemy’s arm from its socket. But Star Wars fans will love it anyway.

19. This Yoda backpack makes for a wise choice.

Small it is, but size matters not. Good to have on back and recreate Luke's training scenes from Empire Strikes back, it is.

Small it is, but size matters not. Good to have on back and recreate Luke’s training scenes from Empire Strikes back, it is.

20. Fans of the old Nintendo will enjoy this backpack that seems right out of their childhood.

From Crooked Brains: "Its boasts a roomy main compartment as well as three external zipper pockets." Not sure if you could say the same about Super Mario Brothers.

From Crooked Brains: “Its boasts a roomy main compartment as well as three external zipper pockets.” Not sure if you could say the same about Super Mario Brothers.

21. This backpack is reliable and easy to see 24/7.

This was made to detect cyclists traveling through the night. So the compartments are reflective.

This was made to detect cyclists traveling through the night. So the compartments are reflective.

22. This R2-D2 will virtually save your ass from almost any dire situation.

Yet, unlike R2-D2 in the Star Wars movies, this one has no capacity to send smartass beeps whenever you complain. Yet, R2 tends to be one of the most underrated Star Wars characters ever.

Yet, unlike R2-D2 in the Star Wars movies, this one has no capacity to send smartass beeps whenever you complain. Yet, R2 tends to be one of the most underrated Star Wars characters ever.

23. This backpack is made from the finest solid gold to make you look rich.

It's the kind of backpack you can see Donald Trump have with him in school. Said to be ridiculously expensive which is no surprise.

It’s the kind of backpack you can see Donald Trump have with him in school. Said to be ridiculously expensive which is no surprise.

24. No one can resist this little toadstool house backpack.

Sure it seems like it was straight out of a children's book. But I think it's kind of adorable.

Sure it seems like it was straight out of a children’s book. But I think it’s kind of adorable.

25. This little baby doll on the backpack has the bling.

Can we all agree that doll parts don't belong on luggage? Seriously, this backpack baby is absolutely giving me nightmares.

Can we all agree that doll parts don’t belong on luggage? Seriously, this backpack baby is absolutely giving me nightmares.

26. With this backpack, any child can talk to their dead grandma during school.

As long as they know how to use a Ouija board. Yeah, I know it's strange but it's crazy. So I'll include it.

As long as they know how to use a Ouija board. Yeah, I know it’s strange but it’s crazy. So I’ll include it.

27. Nostalgic for Windows 95? There’s a backpack for that.

However, I'm not one of those people who misses Windows 95 at all. But to each his own.

However, I’m not one of those people who misses Windows 95 at all. But to each his own.

28. For a clear backpack, it helps if you decorate it in lights.

Great if you're traveling at night or when the sun sets earlier than usual. Love the rainbow lights.

Great if you’re traveling at night or when the sun sets earlier than usual. Love the rainbow lights.

29. This cosmos backpack comes with its own stache.

I guess the stache was added as a way to be funny. Still, it kind of works but doesn't really go with the design.

I guess the stache was added as a way to be funny. Still, it kind of works but doesn’t really go with the design.

30. This backpack seems to take a good look at your spine.

Since this is the kind that contains x-ray vision. Though might lead you to experience some unwanted exposure.

Since this is the kind that contains x-ray vision. Though might lead you to experience some unwanted exposure.

31. This backpack is sure to be there for you wherever you go.

Sure the map on it may not be reliable. But at least it's travel friendly which says something.

Sure the map on it may not be reliable. But at least it’s travel friendly which says something.

32. This coffin backpack might make people think you’re gravely out of your mind.

Seems like the kind of backpack you'd imagine Eddie Munster to have. I mean his dad Herman has a coffin lunch box for God's sake.

Seems like the kind of backpack you’d imagine Eddie Munster to have. I mean his dad Herman has a coffin lunch box for God’s sake.

33. Any child would love to go to school carrying this kitty backpack.

Because who's not to love the kitty cat face on it. It's adorable. So cute.

Because who’s not to love the kitty cat face on it. It’s adorable. So cute.

34. This backpack is simply perfect for a child’s first day of school.

It even has a handle so the kid could drag it if he or she has a bad back. Still, like the school bus motif. So adorable.

It even has a handle so the kid could drag it if he or she has a bad back. Still, like the school bus motif. So adorable.

35. My Little Pony fans are sure to adore their very own Rainbow Dash backpack.

Not familiar with My Little Pony. But I'm sure anyone on my blog would think this is awesome. Also, it's not just for kids.

Not familiar with My Little Pony. But I’m sure anyone on my blog would think this is awesome. Also, it’s not just for kids.

36. Fans of Super Mario Brothers are sure to love this Mario backpack.

Just remember that any mushroom you put in there won't make you bigger and won't help you smash bricks. But there's a chance that the mushrooms might be poisonous.

Just remember that any mushroom you put in there won’t make you bigger and won’t help you smash bricks. But there’s a chance that the mushrooms might be poisonous.

37. Ever imagined having a giant cockroach on your back? Now you can.

This one is from Japan. Yes, it's freaky as hell. But apparently, the people have to find a use for the giant cockroaches killed at Fukishima., Hiroshima, and Nagasaki.

This one is from Japan. Yes, it’s freaky as hell. But apparently, the people have to find a use for the giant cockroaches killed at Fukishima., Hiroshima, and Nagasaki somehow.

38. No one will mess with you if your backpack is a spiked turtle shell.

Sure the spikes may be made from cloth and stuffing. But I'm not sure if this is even allowed in most schools.

Sure the spikes may be made from cloth and stuffing. But I’m not sure if this is even allowed in most schools.

39. Now this is the kind of backpack for a fishing trip.

If you catch no fish, you can just use the backpack to pretend that the big one didn't get away. Well, if it didn't have straps.

If you catch no fish, you can just use the backpack to pretend that the big one didn’t get away. Well, if it didn’t have straps.

40. These bunny backpacks would surely put anyone in a hopping mood.

This is especially since they have bunny ears and come in 4 different colors. Wonder how much they cost since they seem well made.

This is especially since they have bunny ears and come in 4 different colors. Wonder how much they cost since they seem well made.

41. There’s something bubbling about this backpack.

I've seen quite a few of these and wonder why the hell they exist. Some of them even light up.

I’ve seen quite a few of these and wonder why the hell they exist. Some of them even light up.

42. I’m sure nobody could ever resist this panda backpack.

Contains the panda ears as well as the cute panda face. I'm positive people will adore this.

Contains the panda ears as well as the cute panda face. I’m positive people will adore this.

43. If you really like guac, you’ll surely like this avacado backpack.

Since guacamole is made from avacados. Yet, this doesn't mean you should put guac in this unless it's in a container. And even the, proceed with caution.

Since guacamole is made from avacados. Yet, this doesn’t mean you should put guac in this unless it’s in a container. And even the, proceed with caution.

44. This AT-AT backpack is ready for action.

You can guess there are a lot of Star Wars backpacks out there. But this has to be among the most unusual I've seen so far.

You can guess there are a lot of Star Wars backpacks out there. But this has to be among the most unusual I’ve seen so far.

45. For hard days fighting for the Rebel Alliance, this Ewok backpack comes in handy.

You know those gruesome teddy bears from Return of the Jedi who thought C-3PO was a god? I'm talking about these little guys.

You know those gruesome teddy bears from Return of the Jedi who thought C-3PO was a god? I’m talking about these little guys.

46. Those who long for the old Nintendo might enjoy this old Game Boy backpack.

And once again, it features Tetris. No surprise. Still, the old Game Boys were in black and white and resembled this.

And once again, it features Tetris. No surprise. Still, the old Game Boys were in black and white and resembled this.

47. Speaking of Nintendo, some fans might take to this backpack of Yoshi.

Yoshi is a dinosaur or dragon character from Mario. He later had his own video game series and appears in different colors.

Yoshi is a dinosaur or dragon character from Mario. He later had his own video game series and appears in different colors.

48. Now you can be like Boba Fett with a backpack of his jetpack.

Just watch out for sarlacc pits on Tattooine. Because you know what happened to him there.

Just watch out for sarlacc pits on Tattooine. Because you know what happened to him there.

49. I bet you weren’t expecting a rear surprise from this one.

That's another one you wouldn't be able to wear in school for obvious reasons. Seriously, I don't know how someone managed to design one like this.

That’s another one you wouldn’t be able to wear in school for obvious reasons. Seriously, I don’t know how someone managed to design one like this.

50. So which backpack do you wan? Spider Man or Venom?

I mean they both look the same except that they're in different colors. Just pick one.

I mean they both look the same except that they’re in different colors. Just pick one.

51. Do you want fries with this one?

Yes, this is a cheeseburger backpack. Hope you don't carry it around where you'll find a lot of hungry people.

Yes, this is a cheeseburger backpack. Hope you don’t carry it around where you’ll find a lot of hungry people.

52. This leopard has great shades in space.

I've seen a lot of these backpacks on Google Images. But this one really stands out for me.

I’ve seen a lot of these backpacks on Google Images. But this one really stands out for me.

53. Sometimes the best backpack can be the simplest ones.

For instance, this one is just a wooden box with straps. That's all. But seems practical.

For instance, this one is just a wooden box with straps. That’s all. But seems practical.

54. If people can use backpacks, why not man’s best friend?

That way next time you go hiking, you can use your dog as a pack animal. So get to work, Sparky!

That way next time you go hiking, you can use your dog as a pack animal. So get to work, Sparky!

55. Why spend time hanging your backpack and jacket when you can hang both at the same time?

This one has the backpack attached to the jacket. Hope it's detachable for warm weather.

This one has the backpack attached to the jacket. Hope it’s detachable for warm weather.

56. For a picnic, this backpack is great for carrying dishes.

Well, when it comes to small picnics, anyway. Large picnics are a whole different story.

Well, when it comes to small picnics, anyway. Large picnics are a whole different story.

57. This leather jacket backpack will always make you look cool.

Actually, I'm not so sure about that. But it's unusual enough so I put it on this post.

Actually, I’m not so sure about that. But it’s unusual enough so I put it on this post.

58. For a more eco-friendly backpack, this basket pack is for you.

After all, it's made from organic fibers in a basket weave. Not sure how it does in the elements and might feel scratchy.

After all, it’s made from organic fibers in a basket weave. Not sure how it does in the elements and might feel scratchy.

59. This minion backpack will surely bring a despicable smile.

Seems like minions are very popular these days. Though the minion movie didn't get a lot of great reviews since it lent the phrase "don't go full minion."

Seems like minions are very popular these days. Though the minion movie didn’t get a lot of great reviews since it lent the phrase “don’t go full minion.”

60. Look menacing with this dragon backpack.

Even has a dragon head to put on your shoulders. Nobody is going to make fun of you now.

Even has a dragon head to put on your shoulders. Nobody is going to make fun of you now.

61. How about carry your things in a plush bunny backpack?

Another one from Japan but one that seems less practical than the cockroach one. But less creepy looking. Cute.

Another one from Japan but one that seems less practical than the cockroach one. But less creepy looking. Cute.

62. Ever wish you had a large beetle on your back?

That's disgusting, especially with the horns on the front and back. May or may not be allowed in schools. Creepy.

That’s disgusting, especially with the horns on the front and back. May or may not be allowed in schools. Creepy.

63. Sometimes you feel like you’re carrying the world on your back.

This globe backpack certainly speaks for itself. Still, will weigh you down a lot.

This globe backpack certainly speaks for itself. Still, will weigh you down a lot.

64. These plush hand hugs backpacks are full of embraces.

Because there's nothing more heartwarming than seeing two disembodied muppet hands embracing a backpack. Wonder what happened to the muppets who had them.

Because there’s nothing more heartwarming than seeing two disembodied muppet hands embracing a backpack. Wonder what happened to the muppets who had them.

65. That has to be a big tube of classic blue paint.

Okay it's a tube of paint that doesn't actually have paint in it. But it's a rather clever design for artists.

Okay it’s a tube of paint that doesn’t actually have paint in it. But it’s a rather clever design for artists.

66. Fly around to save Gotham City with this Batman hoodie backpack with wings.

Yes, it's another Batman backpack. But this is in a more unusual shape than the last one. Also, there may be a Superman one, but using it tends to result in a lot of collateral damage.

Yes, it’s another Batman backpack. But this is in a more unusual shape than the last one. Also, there may be a Superman one, but using it tends to result in a lot of collateral damage.

67. This flaked backpack comes with its own shell.

I think you can easily open it from the bottom. Yet this one is not my cup of tea, especially since it resembles some kind of weird turtle shell.

I think you can easily open it from the bottom. Yet this one is not my cup of tea, especially since it resembles some kind of weird turtle shell.

68. Why carry a lawn chair when this backpack provides one for you?

After all, this chair just folds right out. Sure it might not be big but it's something.

After all, this chair just folds right out. Sure it might not be big but it’s something.

69. Fly around with these Fuzzy Flyers backpacks.

Okay these ones are for children. Come in butterfly or bat depending on gender.

Okay these ones are for children. Come in butterfly or dragon depending on gender.

70. If there’s something strange in the neighborhood, this backpack comes in handy.

It's supposed to resemble those proton packs from Ghostbusters. You know the ones used to bust ghosts.

It’s supposed to resemble those proton packs from Ghostbusters. You know the ones used to bust ghosts.

71. Is that a kitten coming out of this backpack?

Seems like it from this picture. But it's just a backpack design. Saw a few of these, by the way.

Seems like it from this picture. But it’s just a backpack design. Saw a few of these, by the way.

72. For carrying heavy loads, this is the backpack for you.

Now that can't be good for your back. Would it be possible if he had something else? Like a wagon?

Now that can’t be good for your back. Would it be possible if he had something else? Like a wagon?

73. This backpack looks worried for some reason.

This is from Etsy. Yet, you can't help but wonder if its owner is late or forgot anything.

This is from Etsy. Yet, you can’t help but wonder if its owner is late or forgot anything.

74. If you like Sheldon from the Big Bang Theory then you’ll love this backpack.

It's similar to Sheldon's Flash backpack with his catchphrase. Let's just say Sheldon would be proud of it.

It’s similar to Sheldon’s Flash backpack with his catchphrase. Let’s just say Sheldon would be proud of it.

75. Those who enjoyed the new Star Wars movie will love this BB8 backpack.

Yes, he's just a little robot ball. But you can't help but love him. So cute.

Yes, he’s just a little robot ball. But you can’t help but love him. So cute.

76. This backpack is a great place to put your Legos.

After all, it's shaped like a brick. Yet, at least you won't hurt your toe when you step on it.

After all, it’s shaped like a brick. Yet, at least you won’t hurt your toe when you step on it.

77. This fuzzy alien backpack is out of this world.

Well, it's called a lost ET backpack. But this girl seems to really like her little green backpack man.

Well, it’s called a lost ET backpack. But this girl seems to really like her little green backpack man.

78. Prove you’re strong with this raw meat backpack.

On one hand, it's kind of gross since raw meat is full of germs. On the other hand, it's quite clever.

On one hand, it’s kind of gross since raw meat is full of germs. On the other hand, it’s quite clever.

79. Play music while you hike with this silver backpack with speakers.

Great if you're on a hike in a forest infested with black bears. Bad if you're at a campground late at night.

Great if you’re on a hike in a forest infested with black bears. Bad if you’re at a campground late at night.

80. Nobody can resist this Hello Kitty mustache backpack.

Now a Hello Kitty backpack is one thing. But one with a mustache? That's pretty messed up.

Now a Hello Kitty backpack is one thing. But one with a mustache? That’s pretty messed up.

81. For coastal adventures, you can’t do wrong with an octopus backpack.

On second thought, it's kind of freaky looking. Yet, seems to have tentacle straps on it.

On second thought, it’s kind of freaky looking. Yet, seems to have tentacle straps on it.

82. These backpacks seem toasty.

Come in egg and butter. Each with their own change purse.

Come in egg and butter. Each with their own change purse. Clever.

83. This pizza slice backpack seems like it’s good enough to eat.

However, I wouldn't say it's edible. But it seems fun to have as well as quite cheesy.

However, I wouldn’t say it’s edible. But it seems fun to have as well as quite cheesy.

84. Try slinging this large lizard on your shoulders.

Comes in 4 colors or so it seems. But at least this lizard seems adorable enough. Unlike the gross bug backpacks.

Comes in 4 colors or so it seems. But at least this lizard seems adorable enough. Unlike the gross bug backpacks.

85. On 8 legs, this tarantula backpack is a real scream.

Also will probably give other people nightmares since spiders are a common fear. Also has furry legs.

Also will probably give other people nightmares since spiders are a common fear. Also has furry legs.

86. For the Rebel X-Wing fighter, this is the backpack for you.

From what I can remember, the X-Wing fighter backpacks were bulkier than this. Then again, to each his own.

From what I can remember, the X-Wing fighter backpacks were bulkier than this. Then again, to each his own.

87. If you love Guardians of the Galaxy, then you’ll love this Rocket backpack.

Yes, he may be a foul mouthed raccoon voiced by Bradley Cooper, but he's adorable. Still, the Rocket backpack makes sense.

Yes, he may be a foul mouthed raccoon voiced by Bradley Cooper, but he’s adorable. Still, the Rocket backpack makes sense.

88. Anyone wearing this scrotum backpack surely has balls.

Yes, there's a backpack like this. Yes, I know it's not suited for children but I wasn't consulted.

Yes, there’s a backpack like this. Yes, I know it’s not suited for children but I wasn’t consulted.

89. Any kid will surely enjoy a dolphin backpack with flippers.

Comes in several different colors and is catered to children. Yet, even you can't resist its cuteness.

Comes in several different colors and is catered to children. Yet, even you can’t resist its cuteness.

90. If dolphins don’t suit you, then this shark one should satisfy.

Well, it only shows the shark head. But it looks pretty awesome and amusing if you think about it.

Well, it only shows the shark head. But it looks pretty awesome and amusing if you think about it.

91. Don’t worry, Spider Man has your back.

I know this is another Spider Man backpack. But this one has Spider Man literally on your back.

I know this is another Spider Man backpack. But this one has Spider Man literally on your back.

92. To travel the final frontier, best have this backpack from Starfleet.

However, if you're a member of Starfleet Security, don't expect to use it very much. Well, at least when you're preparing for a planet mission.

However, if you’re a member of Starfleet Security, don’t expect to use it very much. Well, at least when you’re preparing for a planet mission.

93. Be prepared for a Rebel assault with this Stormtrooper backpack.

Don't expect it to help you with target practice though. Because stormtroopers aren't known to be great shots in the Galactic Empire.

Don’t expect it to help you with target practice though. Because stormtroopers aren’t known to be great shots in the Galactic Empire.

94. When not using this backpack, you can carry it in your pocket.

Comes in several different colors. Yet,how you fold it into one of these packs, I don't have the slightest idea.

Comes in several different colors. Yet,how you fold it into one of these packs, I don’t have the slightest idea.

95. This backpack seems a bit crabby lately.

Okay, that crab seems a bit happy and is waving its pincers. Adorable.

Okay, that crab seems a bit happy and is waving its pincers. Adorable.

96. These sushi backpacks seem a bit fishy to me.

Okay, sushi doesn't always have to have raw fish in it. But their existence seems to defy all explanation. Made in Japan.

Okay, sushi doesn’t always have to have raw fish in it. But their existence seems to defy all explanation. Made in Japan.

97. Ever wished you could carry a big cat head on your back?

Actually they consist of two tigers and a lion. But the head backpack part seems rather freaky in some way.

Actually they consist of two tigers and a lion. But the head backpack part seems rather freaky in some way.

98. With this turtle shell you can travel like a ninja turtle.

Even come with Ninja Turtle masks so you can play which one. Guess this is for kids.

Even come with Ninja Turtle masks so you can play which one. Guess this is for kids.

99. Nothing makes you remember Ghostbusters like this Stay Puft Marshmallow Man like this backpack.

He may look non threatening. But remember this is a face of a guy who tried to destroy New York City.

He may look non threatening. But remember this is a face of a guy who tried to destroy New York City.

100. Yes, these cartoon backpacks are real.

There's a company that makes bags like these. And yes, they may look cartoonish but they're real.

There’s a company that makes bags like these. And yes, they may look cartoonish but they’re real.

The Handbaggy World of Sensational Purses

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While being a woman has many disadvantages which are mainly due to the ever present ancient notion of sexism, one very important advantage of being female is that you can travel along carrying your stuff in a small fancy bag that goes around your arm and not be mercilessly teased about it. Whereas, when a man carries even a satchel in public, he’ll always be constantly made fun of by his friends for wearing a purse. As for why the notion of carrying a purse has always been a female privilege in modern day society (for guys did carry purses around during other historical periods, especially if they were rich), I can’t really be sure. But when it comes to carrying things around with them on a daily basis, the closest thing a man usually has to a purse is a wallet in his front pocket. Sure it might make make him less prone to purse snatchers, but keeping your things in wallets and pockets doesn’t really compensate for the storage space that a purse has to offer, especially in the 21st century when everyone carries smartphones that can’t fit into a man’s jean pocket. Not only that, but women have enjoyed purses that they’ve become a key fashion accessory with some being created by big name designers. Okay, maybe we do have men’s purses which is a $4 billion industry worldwide with designer brands. But really, in our modern day society, the men carrying purses stigma still remains strong, even though it results in men being more likely to lose or forget their belongings they’d need on a daily basis like their cellphones or wallets. So perhaps we need to bring back the male purse, which can lead to devastating consequences. Anyway, there are so many purse designs out there that come in shapes and sizes. Now I can go through the most stylish handbags, but I understand that many of you would be bored to tears since you’ve probably seen them in stores or catalogs. So instead, I’ll show you purses that might make you wonder how they even were designed for your reading pleasure.

  1. This purse literally puts the “hand” in handbag.
Not sure if I'd want to be seen carrying something like that. Might lead to people thinking I'm crazy.

Not sure if I’d want to be seen carrying something like that. Might lead to people thinking I’m crazy.

2. There’s nothing more stylish than carrying your belongings around in a ball of spikes.

On the bright side, it might deter purse snatchers which helps if you're in a very bad neighborhood. However, the spikes are probably not very sharp.

On the bright side, it might deter purse snatchers which helps if you’re in a very bad neighborhood. However, the spikes are probably not very sharp.

3. If you’re one of those Old Testament chicks, this purse is for you.

For some reason, Noah's Ark seems to be a popular motif in design. Might be due to the concept of having a lot of animals on a boat.

For some reason, Noah’s Ark seems to be a popular motif in design. Might be due to the concept of having a lot of animals on a boat.

4. This beaded ladybug purse always goes great with anything spotted and red.

You have to like the beadwork on this thing which is very intricate. Probably doesn't come cheap.

You have to like the beadwork on this thing which is very intricate. Probably doesn’t come cheap.

5. Remember not to send this envelope in the mail.

Yes, this is a letter envelope purse. I know it's not the best purse design. But if there's a will there's a way.

Yes, this is a letter envelope purse. I know it’s not the best purse design. But if there’s a will there’s a way.

6. I’m sure there’s nothing coming out from this teapot.

Because this is a teapot purse with the zipper and handle on the top. Hope the spout is well fastened.

Because this is a teapot purse with the zipper and handle on the top. Hope the spout is well fastened.

7. Not sure how you can store your things in a couple of cherries.

At least it has a nice knuckle handle for your fingers to grasp. But the best purses should leave your hand free.

At least it has a nice knuckle handle for your fingers to grasp. But the best purses should leave your hand free.

8. This Nutella purse is simply irresistible.

Wonder if there's a demand for this. Guess there are a lot of die hard Nutella fans out there.

Wonder if there’s a demand for this. Guess there are a lot of die hard Nutella fans out there.

9. In Paris, it’s best to travel with your own Eiffel Tower purse.

Then again, given Paris's prominence in fashion, many people might beg to differ. Still, the Eiffel Tower purse exist for those who want to know.

Then again, given Paris’s prominence in fashion, many people might beg to differ. Still, the Eiffel Tower purse exist for those who want to know.

10. Keep your small belongings safe in this beaded Mexican skull purse.

Sure the subject may be a little disturbing but the decoration is very intricate. Love the flowers.

Sure the subject may be a little disturbing but the decoration is very intricate. Love the flowers.

11. This purse really seems to have teeth to it.

Well, in this case literally. Still, it's the kind of change purse you'd expect Morticia Addams to have with her.

Well, in this case literally. Still, it’s the kind of change purse you’d expect Morticia Addams to have with her.

12. Think panda bears are adorable? Then check out this purse.

Well, this one zips from the side and it doesn't use the black and white panda bear colors. But you might find it at a zoo souvenir store.

Well, this one zips from the side and it doesn’t use the black and white panda bear colors. But you might find it at a zoo souvenir store.

13. Keep your things with you in this purse of this Coca Cola can.

Not sure if the can is recycled or not. Wouldn't be surprised if it is. Still, comes with a nice clasp and chain.

Not sure if the can is recycled or not. Wouldn’t be surprised if it is. Still, comes with a nice clasp and chain.

14. This washing machine purse is great for days at the laundromat.

Yes, this is a washing machine purse with little clothes in the front. Never seen anything like that before. Not sure why anyone would buy it.

Yes, this is a washing machine purse with little clothes in the front. Never seen anything like that before. Not sure why anyone would buy it.

15. Keep wrappers in your purse? Well, this one is made from them.

I've seen quite a few of these on Pinterest. Sometimes it's not always apparent. But I chose this one since the wrappers really stand out here.

I’ve seen quite a few of these on Pinterest. Sometimes it’s not always apparent. But I chose this one since the wrappers really stand out here.

16. This pineapple purse might put you in a tropical mood.

The bottom part is in a basket weave to somewhat resemble a pineapple. The top has the large leaves. Try carrying that around with you.

The bottom part is in a basket weave to somewhat resemble a pineapple. The top has the large leaves. Try carrying that around with you.

17. These pancake purses make it seem like breakfast never leaves you.

As you see, they come in two types with the butter and syrup you see on the box as well as spotted. Which to choose is up to you.

As you see, they come in two types with the butter and syrup you see on the box as well as spotted. Which to choose is up to you.

18. This hippie fan purse might make you yearn for the days of Woodstock.

Or what you'd imagine about Woodstock anyway. However, since I saw the documentary, I have to concede that Woodstock reminds me somewhat of a disaster area towards the end.

Or what you’d imagine about Woodstock anyway. However, since I saw the documentary, I have to concede that Woodstock reminds me somewhat of a disaster area towards the end.

19. This X-Ray purse comes with a rather sharp spinal image.

Yes, this purse has an X-Ray image. Yes, I know it's freaky. But there's a purse of it so someone must've thought it was cool.

Yes, this purse has an X-Ray image. Yes, I know it’s freaky. But there’s a purse of it so someone must’ve thought it was cool.

20. This train engine purse is handy for on the go.

Not to mention, it'll help you get on track, too. Like the golden fixtures on this. Definitely not cheap.

Not to mention, it’ll help you get on track, too. Like the golden fixtures on this. Definitely not cheap.

21. This jeweled jellyfish purse comes with all the ribbons.

Not sure if it was called a jellyfish purse per se. But it certainly looks like one with the dome shape and the ribbons. Kind of quaint for a sea creature that kills more people than sharks.

Not sure if it was called a jellyfish purse per se. But it certainly looks like one with the dome shape and the ribbons. Kind of quaint for a sea creature that kills more people than sharks.

22. With these dog purses, you can always keep your things secure.

They come in several types though only 4 are shown here. Still, wonder what people think of anyone carrying a purse like this to work.

They come in several types though only 4 are shown here. Still, wonder what people think of anyone carrying a purse like this to work.

23. You might be able to open this purse with the right combination.

To open it turn it twice clockwise to get to the first number, counter-clockwise once to get to the second, and once clockwise to get to the third. Then again, I might have the process mixed up.

To open it turn it twice clockwise to get to the first number, counter-clockwise once to get to the second, and once clockwise to get to the third. Then again, I might have the process mixed up.

24. Ever wish you can carry your things in a Chanel bottle? Now you can.

Doesn't hurt that the bottle is transparent, especially when you're at the airport. Then again, maybe it does since it might contain things you don't want others to see.

Doesn’t hurt that the bottle is transparent, especially when you’re at the airport. Then again, maybe it does since it might contain things you don’t want others to see.

25. This beaded parrot purse has a rather tropical disposition.

Not sure if I ever saw a parrot that looked like this in real life. Then again, maybe real life parrot patterns don't matter as much in design.

Not sure if I ever saw a parrot that looked like this in real life. Then again, maybe real life parrot patterns don’t matter as much in design.

26. This jeweled rose purse surely shines a brilliant red.

Yet, it's so pretty that you might not want to risk damaging it. Love the gold on the petals.

Yet, it’s so pretty that you might not want to risk damaging it. Love the gold on the petals.

27. Heard this candy corn purse is all the rage on Halloween.

Then again due to its sugary wax taste, candy corn is among the most contentious Halloween candies ever. So I'm probably wrong about it being chic.

Then again due to its sugary wax taste, candy corn is among the most contentious Halloween candies ever. So I’m probably wrong about it being chic.

28. If you have lipstick in your makeup bag, why not have a lipstick purse?

I was going to go with a chapstick purse, but I heard it has a high tendency to get lost before you're done with it. So I'm playing it safe.

I was going to go with a chapstick purse, but I heard it has a high tendency to get lost before you’re done with it. So I’m playing it safe.

29. Heard of a Faberge egg? How about a Faberge egg purse?

This one is in an ornate bead design. However, it wasn't made by Faberge though. But I like it anyway.

This one is in an ornate bead design. However, it wasn’t made by Faberge though. But I like it anyway.

30. Those who like their curd may want to cheddar this cheese purse.

Not sure what kind of cheese that is or whether it comes in different types. But since it's incredibly strange, I'll put it on this post.

Not sure what kind of cheese that is or whether it comes in different types. But since it’s incredibly strange, I’ll put it on this post.

31. Carry your things around in a purse with a doll’s head and feet.

Definitely a purse not to bring with you to a job interview. Or work. Or a family gathering. Or any public function at all.

Definitely a purse not to bring with you to a job interview. Or work. Or a family gathering. Or any public function at all.

32. This purse has been held together by recycled pop tabs.

Well, at least the outside is held by pop tabs. Not sure if I buy into an art that depends on people's negative health habits. Seriously, soft drinks are really bad for you.

Well, at least the outside is held by pop tabs. Not sure if I buy into an art that depends on people’s negative health habits. Seriously, soft drinks are really bad for you.

33. This conch shell purse certainly has plenty of space.

Well, it leaves plenty of shell room unlike the other shell purses. Not sure if I'd like to carry it around with me though.

Well, it leaves plenty of shell room unlike the other shell purses. Not sure if I’d like to carry it around with me though.

34. This Formula race car purse will come in handy in no time.

Not sure if they have one from NASCAR. Yet, at any rate, I don't really consider car racing a real sport.

Not sure if they have one from NASCAR. Yet, at any rate, I don’t really consider car racing a real sport.

35. This wooden purse seems to have a rather interesting design.

Looks like it's made from light wood and is not very water resistant. I mean it has holes in it. Not very practical to say the least.

Looks like it’s made from light wood and is not very water resistant. I mean it has holes in it. Not very practical to say the least.

36. If you want your purse to jingle, how about one with dangling fingers?

Okay, that's a little messed up. Doesn't help that the fingers are painted and seem a little detatched. Creepy.

Okay, that’s a little messed up. Doesn’t help that the fingers are painted and seem a little detatched. Creepy.

37. Remember those instant Polaroid cameras? Well, there’s a purse of that.

I call these type of cameras Polaroids because that's the company that made the best known ones. But I understand Polaroid makes normal looking cameras as well.

I call these type of cameras Polaroids because that’s the company that made the best known ones. But I understand Polaroid makes normal looking cameras as well.

38. Looking at her purse, you know she’s loaded.

Didn't know the NRA had a hand in purse design. Still, this purse seems to give me the creeps.

Didn’t know the NRA had a hand in purse design. Still, this purse seems to give me the creeps.

39. This little doll purse from Chanel can keep your things safe and sound.

Looks a bit like a Russian nesting doll to me but the faces seem like you'd put on Japanese figures. Still, I think it's cute.

Looks a bit like a Russian nesting doll to me but the faces seem like you’d put on Japanese figures. Still, I think it’s cute.

40. How about keep your things in this chicken purse down on the farm?

Technically it's a chicken medicine bag but that's beside the point. But I thought this was worth clucking about.

Technically it’s a chicken medicine bag but that’s beside the point. But I thought this was worth clucking about.

41. This car purse comes in two different coats.

And you can zip through them if you want to. Then again, it looks better in black than hot pink.

And you can zip through them if you want to. Then again, it looks better in black than hot pink.

42. Hope you can rewind with this audio cassette purse.

It's also great for stumping young children who probably don't know what an audio cassette is. Of course, they may not know what rewind is either.

It’s also great for stumping young children who probably don’t know what an audio cassette is. Of course, they may not know what rewind is either.

43. Carrying this basketball purse will show that you’re a hit on the court.

Well, at least it has more room than a football or baseball purse. But looks just as ridiculous.

Well, at least it has more room than a football or baseball purse. But looks just as ridiculous.

44. This Ouija board purse is great for carrying your belongings and communicating with the dead.

Make sure you're in a private spot when you do the latter. Still, this is pretty clever.

Make sure you’re in a private spot when you do the latter. Still, this is pretty clever.

45. This take out purse can be quite handy when you’re on the town.

Well, at least it's more durable than an actual Chinese take out box. But I wouldn't consider it wise to put rice in it.

Well, at least it’s more durable than an actual Chinese take out box. But I wouldn’t consider it wise to put rice in it.

46. This C-3PO purse is at your service.

Still, I think an R2-D2 purse would make more sense since he's usually saving everyone's ass. C-3PO usually whines or gets broken apart.

Still, I think an R2-D2 purse would make more sense since he’s usually saving everyone’s ass. C-3PO usually whines or gets broken apart.

47. You know the ice bucket with a bottle of champagne? Well, there’s a purse of that.

It's even beaded for good measure. Not sure if I'd want to take it with me but it has a nice bucket design.

It’s even beaded for good measure. Not sure if I’d want to take it with me but it has a nice bucket design.

48. Anyone who loves cute critters would enjoy this squirrel purse.

Even comes with its own bushy tail near the handle. Not sure about the rest of it.

Even comes with its own bushy tail near the handle. Not sure about the rest of it.

49. This purse seems to be rather zippy if you look closely.

It's made from zippers or zipper flies as you can see close up. Expect it do jingle when you carry it.

It’s made from zippers or zipper flies as you can see close up. Expect it do jingle when you carry it.

50. This skull purse is made from fine red leather.

Maybe, but it's not one that you'd want to carry in public. People might think you're a bit crazy. I mean this is kind of creepy.

Maybe, but it’s not one that you’d want to carry in public. People might think you’re a bit crazy. I mean this is kind of creepy.

51. Carrying this purse with you might help you get a head.

You have to wonder what kind of people are willing to buy purses like these. Because this is just really messed up.

You have to wonder what kind of people are willing to buy purses like these. Because this is just really messed up.

52. Heard of a beehive haircut? How about a beehive purse?

Even has a couple bees buzzing around it. Yet, if you try to take it, you might risk getting stung.

Even has a couple bees buzzing around it. Yet, if you try to take it, you might risk getting stung.

53. Now this is a kind of purse Schrodinger would approve.

Except that there's not a live counterpart if you get Schrodinger's cat paradox. But this is another crazy designed purse I don't understand.

Except that there’s not a live counterpart if you get Schrodinger’s cat paradox. But this is another crazy designed purse I don’t understand.

54. Old license plates can sometimes be reused as purses if you look at these.

Okay, maybe not. But these two could make an interesting conversation piece. Do they have one for each state?

Okay, maybe not. But these two could make an interesting conversation piece. Do they have one for each state?

55. Fans of Silence of the Lambs would enjoy owning this Hannibal Lecter purse.

Hannibal Lecter on a purse? Seriously, this guy is a psychopathic killer who eats his victims. Having a purse of him is very messed up.

Hannibal Lecter on a purse? Seriously, this guy is a psychopathic killer who eats his victims. Having a purse of him is very messed up.

56. If you enjoy underwater life, this purse is for you.

It's certainly a colorful display if you ask me. Not sure if you'd want to carry it around since things might fall off it after some use.

It’s certainly a colorful display if you ask me. Not sure if you’d want to carry it around since things might fall off it after some use.

57. This dice purse comes in 6 sides like a cube.

And the sides even come in different colors as well as patterns. Well as a far as I see it.

And the sides even come in different colors as well as patterns. Well as a far as I see it.

58. This owl purse will surely be a hoot.

Seems like there's a lot of owl stuff. Maybe it's because they have those big eyes and distinctive face.

Seems like there’s a lot of owl stuff. Maybe it’s because they have those big eyes and distinctive face.

59. Some may think this burger purse is good enough to eat.

However, they seem to have the toppings in the wrong way. The burger goes on the bottom while everything else is on top. The cheese is usually closest to the bun.

However, they seem to have the toppings in the wrong way. The burger goes on the bottom while everything else is on top. The cheese is usually closest to the bun.

60. Things seem to get a bit stormy in this purse.

Well, it's a storm cloud purse with lightning bolts dangling from it. The cloud is in beads.

Well, it’s a storm cloud purse with lightning bolts dangling from it. The cloud is in beads.

61. This violin purse comes with its own convenient back strap.

So if it comes with one strap, is it considered a backpack? I'm confused on this.

So if it comes with one strap, is it considered a backpack? I’m confused on whether this qualifies as one or not.

62. This jeweled peacock purse has s full feathered display.

I think this might be an older purse design since Pinterest says it's vintage. But I like how the peacock blue stones are encased in gold.

I think this might be an older purse design since Pinterest says it’s vintage. But I like how the peacock blue stones are encased in gold.

63. This map purse may not help you get to where you need to go, but it will keep your things in order.

Yes, this is a map design purse. Not sure what it's of. Hell, it could be some fantasy land for all I care. But I doubt it.

Yes, this is a map design purse. Not sure what it’s of. Hell, it could be some fantasy land for all I care. But I doubt it.

64. With this purse, you can be the queen of the deck.

Or in Alice in Wonderland, the ax crazy bitch who flips out over finding out that card soldiers painted her roses. I'm talking about the Queen of Hearts.

Or in Alice in Wonderland, the ax crazy bitch who flips out over finding out that card soldiers painted her roses. I’m talking about the Queen of Hearts.

65. No, I don’t think you should put snacks in this bag.

This is a popcorn bucket purse. More durable for cardboard but not suited for food at all.

This is a popcorn bucket purse. More durable for cardboard but not suited for food at all.

66. Hope you know the keys off of this purse.

Well, it's a small piano keyboard. But since it's a purse, it may not be a great for doing scales.

Well, it’s a small piano keyboard. But since it’s a purse, it may not be a great for doing scales.

67. Ever wish you can carry a purse this big?

However, I'm not sure if airports would designate it as a purse or carry on luggage. Could go either way.

However, I’m not sure if airports would designate it as a purse or carry on luggage. Could go either way.

68. Wonder how much you can fit in a milk carton? Now you can with this purse.

Warning: Not meant for milk storage at all. Seriously, pouring milk in it might cause serious damage.

Warning: Not meant for milk storage at all. Seriously, pouring milk in it might cause serious damage. But you probably knew that.

69. This rainbow ice cream purse can’t be sweeter.

It's even encrusted so it can sparkle. Hope it brings you endless joy that you can't get from unicorns.

It’s even encrusted so it can sparkle. Hope it brings you endless joy that you can’t get from unicorns.

70. As if anything couldn’t be sweeter, take a look at these cupcake purses.

Like the ice cream cone, they're also encrusted with jewels to stand out. So pretty they're almost good enough to eat. Only not really.

Like the ice cream cone, they’re also encrusted with jewels to stand out. So pretty they’re almost good enough to eat. Only not really.

71. Hope you don’t take this watering can with you to the garden.

Yes, it's a watering can purse. No, it doesn't hold water since it's made from cloth. There's a difference.

Yes, it’s a watering can purse. No, it doesn’t hold water since it’s made from cloth. There’s a difference.

72. Those who love cats, may adore these cat face purses.

Come in 4 different expressions like sad, angry, normal, and downright evil. Then again, cat faces are hard to read.

Come in 4 different expressions like sad, angry, normal, and downright evil. Then again, cat faces are hard to read.

73. Ever wish you could have a purse made from a dead animal.

Chances are you might already have one made from cow leather. But this critter purse is pure taxidermy. Creepy.

Chances are you might already have one made from cow leather. But this critter purse is pure taxidermy. Creepy.

74. Those who adore flower gardens will love this flowery purse.

Sure there are only red and white flowers on there. But it does seem like a sight to behold.

Sure there are only red and white flowers on there. But it does seem like a sight to behold.

75. This stove purse is perfect for any diva in the kitchen.

Even depicts a pie in the oven as well as the buttons and controls. So clever.

Even depicts a pie in the oven as well as the buttons and controls. So clever.

76. This alien purse is really out of this world.

Doesn't hurt that it's bright green so it's easy to see. Still, though it's all right to believe we're not alone in the universe, I would flip out if anyone thinks that aliens built the pyramids or are responsible for much of human civilization. Because that's not what the historical evidence says.

Doesn’t hurt that it’s bright green so it’s easy to see. Still, though it’s all right to believe we’re not alone in the universe, I would flip out if anyone thinks that aliens built the pyramids or are responsible for much of human civilization. Because that’s not what the historical evidence says.

77. For a more crusty surface, go with this baguette purse.

It's not as long as the usual baguette. But save for the straps and tag, it almost seems like the real thing.

It’s not as long as the usual baguette. But save for the straps and tag, it almost seems like the real thing.

78. These cow purses are as good as any udder.

Available in two types. So if a woman carries one like this around, could you say she's a real bossy?

Available in two types. So if a woman carries one like this around, could you say she’s a real bossy?

79. Looks like this purse has put on a lot of hair.

Yes, it might look nice. But I'm sure the hair could get on everything. Probably go with something more practical.

Yes, it might look nice. But I’m sure the hair could get on everything. Probably go with something more practical.

80. This brass knuckle purse should help you get a grip on things.

This one even comes in a pink handle for good measure. Still, kind of find it a bit disturbing that they have a purse with a handle that's used as a weapon.

This one even comes in a pink handle for good measure. Still, kind of find it a bit disturbing that they have a purse with a handle that’s used as a weapon.

81. This chocolate bar purse is a sure delight for chocolate lovers everywhere.

Too bad you can't eat what's on the outside. But you have to ask whether it's from Hershey or Nestle.

Too bad you can’t eat what’s on the outside. But you have to ask whether it’s from Hershey or Nestle.

82. This jar purse is great for anyone in a jam.

Not sure what flavor it's supposed to be. But it almost resembles a mason jar if it weren't for the bright blue exterior.

Not sure what flavor it’s supposed to be. But it almost resembles a mason jar if it weren’t for the bright blue exterior.

83. That’s a kind of crab that I’ve never seen before.

Not sure if it's designer but it takes awhile to see the crab. But I knew when I saw its claws and feet.

Not sure if it’s designer but it takes awhile to see the crab. But I knew when I saw its claws and feet.

84. Don’t worry, that’s a cleaver purse, not a meat cleaver.

Doesn't help that it's a bloodied cleaver as if it's been used for an ax murder. Yeah, not a good purse to have.

Doesn’t help that it’s a bloodied cleaver as if it’s been used for an ax murder. Yeah, not a good purse to have.

85. There are some who thought these corset purses would be a bust.

Not sure what I think about boob chest purses. I think I might've saw some at Gabe's. And even then, I kind of thought these were freaky.

Not sure what I think about boob chest purses. I think I might’ve saw some at Gabe’s. And even then, I kind of thought these were freaky.

86. This assault rifle purse will surely come in with a bang.

You got to be kidding me. An assault rifle purse? Then again, not as crazy as owning an actual assault rifle.

You got to be kidding me. An assault rifle purse? Then again, not as crazy as owning an actual assault rifle.

87. This dachshund will keep your things on a leash.

I saw a few of these on Pinterest. Apparently, they might be a thing. This one is in plaid.

I saw a few of these on Pinterest. Apparently, they might be a thing. This one is in plaid.

88. Hope these guitar purses rock your world.

One of them has Elvis on the strap. The other is just a plain old guitar purse.

One of them has Elvis on the strap. The other is just a plain old guitar purse.

89. How about carrying this egg purse around at breakfast?

Might go well with a bacon strips purse. But I'm not sure if there's a bacon purse that exists. Probably is.

Might go well with a bacon strips purse. But I’m not sure if there’s a bacon purse that exists. Probably is.

90. This eye purse can see all.

Well, at least it's not an eyeball purse. Now that would be disgusting. But this one is quite creepy.

Well, at least it’s not an eyeball purse. Now that would be disgusting. But this one is quite creepy.

91. If you want a sturdy purse, a log one will surely do just fine.

Seems a bit rotted doesn't it? Then again, the log may not be real. At least I hope it's not.

Seems a bit rotted doesn’t it? Then again, the log may not be real. At least I hope it’s not.

92. Follow your bliss with this fortune cookie purse.

Opens from the outer edge, Though some people open a fortune cookie quite differently like from the center.

Opens from the outer edge, Though some people open a fortune cookie quite differently like from the center.

93. Hope this purse also proves to be a valuable shield.

Well, that's a large ornate purse she has. Sure it's leather, but its shield seems like it was made from metal.

Well, that’s a large ornate purse she has. Sure it’s leather, but its shield seems like it was made from metal.

94. Ever wish you could put your change in a dead rat? Now you can.

Okay, that's really disgusting. Seriously, whoever did this one has a sick imagination. Yet, on the bright side, might deter muggers.

Okay, that’s really disgusting. Seriously, whoever did this one has a sick imagination. Yet, on the bright side, might deter muggers.

95. This book purse seems like it’s straight off the shelf.

Well, it kind of does see that way if it weren't for the handle. Still, love how the books are lined with gold.

Well, it kind of does see that way if it weren’t for the handle. Still, love how the books are lined with gold.

96. This coffin purse surely helps nail it in.

Seems to have a mirror on the inside. Nevertheless, unless you're Lily Munster, I'm not sure why anyone would want it.

Seems to have a mirror on the inside. Nevertheless, unless you’re Lily Munster, I’m not sure why anyone would want it.

97. This donut purse comes with its own handcuffs.

Hmmm...donuts and handcuffs. wonder what they have in common. Oh, I get it, both are associated with police.

Hmmm…donuts and handcuffs. wonder what they have in common. Oh, I get it, both are associated with police.

98. Hope this purse gets through airport security without a hitch.

Because it seems to show what's seen in the TSA X-Ray. Then again, the agent isn't buying it.

Because it seems to show what’s seen in the TSA X-Ray. Then again, the agent isn’t buying it.

99. I’m sure this dynamite purse isn’t a mere ticking time bomb.

Now that's a purse you wouldn't be able to get pass the TSA. Because it really looks like a bomb. Wonder how anyone could explain that.

Now that’s a purse you wouldn’t be able to get pass the TSA. Because it really looks like a bomb. Wonder how anyone could explain that.

100. Even Cinderella would envy you if you carry around this coach purse.

This one has silver wheels and a silver door. Sure it seems a bit from a fairy tale, but I like it.

This one has silver wheels and a silver door. Sure it seems a bit from a fairy tale, but I like it.

The Wonderful World of Scarecrows (Second Edition)

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As September rolls in, fall will soon be in the air. And when it comes to fall decorations, there’s almost nothing to beat than the scarecrow. Two years ago, I did a scarecrow post which got really popular around this time of year so I decided to do another one. Still, contrary to the name, most scarecrows aren’t really that scary. Besides, using a scarecrow to ward off crows isn’t going to help rid them from your garden. I mean crows are very smart birds and probably know that the figure in your plot is just a guy full of straw. But not always. So they probably won’t be scared of it. Nevertheless, people love them so much that there are even contests for them at fall festivals and even one post can’t show the amount of creativity you might see in these things. Many of these have straw but they don’t always have to. And a lot of them are dressed in old clothes. So for your reading pleasure, I give you another glimpse into the wonderful world of scarecrows.

  1. Look, it’s none other than Gandalf the Straw-Haired.
The wizard beard is a stroke of genius. Also like the flower eyes and carrot nose. But you wonder why they don't have scarecrows like that in the Shire.

The wizard beard is a stroke of genius. Also like the flower eyes and carrot nose. But you wonder why they don’t have scarecrows like that in the Shire.

2. Hey, get off of that lamp post!

Yes, these scarecrows are definitely hanging there. Guess they have all night party hijinks, too. Figures.

Yes, these scarecrows are definitely hanging there. Guess they have all night party hijinks, too. Figures.

3. Didn’t expect to see a fairy princess around here.

This one has a little purple dress and pink hair. But her crown and wand are twigs.

This one has a little purple dress and pink hair. But her crown and wand are twigs.

4. Guess somebody is ready for a wheelbarrow ride.

But the guy gets the ride while the woman has to push him around. Love the flower hat though.

But the guy gets the ride while the woman has to push him around. Love the flower hat though.

5. Apparently, there are even NRA scarecrows out there.

And here is one standing with his gun and a chain of bullets. However, instead of scaring crows, his function is to scare potential terrorists, home invaders, and undocumented immigrants.

And here is one standing with his gun and a chain of bullets. However, instead of scaring crows, his function is to scare potential intruders and minorities.

6. It’s widely noted that they call her the Iron Lady since she comes off a little stiff.

Well, she's made with an ironing board. But yes, she seems a bit flat and stiff.

Well, she’s made with an ironing board. But yes, she seems a bit flat and stiff.

7. Just going out for a morning stroll with the baby, nothing special.

Seems like whoever made this has kids who are no longer toddlers. Well, at least they used it for something like this.

Seems like whoever made this has kids who are no longer toddlers. Well, at least they used it for something like this. Very clever.

8. Nothing to see here, just an old man tending his garden.

For a second, I almost thought it was a real guy. Until I saw the pumpkin head and the stuffed arms. Like the beard.

For a second, I almost thought it was a real guy. Until I saw the pumpkin head and the stuffed arms. Like the beard.

9. What’s this? Jack Skellington and Sally from Nightmare Before Christmas?

Yes, that's it. However, do these two seem like they're getting married? Because Sally is dressed in a nice white dress.

Yes, that’s it. However, do these two seem like they’re getting married? Because Sally is dressed in a nice white dress.

10. This veterinarian always tries to be good to animals.

However, that dog is kind of freaky looking to me. So is the vet's pumpkin head.

However, that dog is kind of freaky looking to me. So is the vet’s pumpkin head.

11. Guess someone has shown up with a sun flowery face.

Well, a sunflower head, anyway. Still, seems to make everything seem sunny even in patched overalls.

Well, a sunflower head, anyway. Still, seems to make everything seem sunny even in patched overalls.

12. Seems like Gulliver shouldn’t have been sleeping.

This is from Gulliver's Travels where the Lilliputains tie him off on the beach and see him as a giant.

This is from Gulliver’s Travels where the Lilliputains tie him off on the beach and see him as a giant.

13. Seems like somebody has been sleeping on the job.

He should be out trying to scare crows off. But he's just taking a snooze. Lazy bum.

He should be out trying to scare crows off. But he’s just taking a snooze. Lazy bum.

14. Now this is a real corn maiden here.

Since she has a dress made from corn stalks as well as decked in full fall regalia. Kind of wish she was in an outdoor setting though.

Since she has a dress made from corn stalks as well as decked in full fall regalia. Kind of wish she was in an outdoor setting though.

15. This lady seems to have a head full of grains.

Well, her head consists of wheat. Yet, she's almost entirely made from straw. Guess she sometimes makes it hay.

Well, her head consists of wheat. Yet, she’s almost entirely made from straw. Guess she sometimes makes it hay.

16. Guess this woman seems to be waiting for the bus or something.

She's just sitting on the bench. Too bad she has straw in her boots. Then again, she's a scarecrow.

She’s just sitting on the bench. Too bad she has straw in her boots. Then again, she’s a scarecrow.

17. These two scarecrows surely adore their little pumpkin.

Too bad it doesn't have a jack o'lantern face yet. Guess it's too young to get one.

Too bad it doesn’t have a jack o’lantern face yet. Guess it’s too young to get one.

18. Ladies and gentlemen, I give you Princess Ladybug.

Well, she's wearing a ladybug dress. But that was what her name was on Pinterest so I'm going with that.

Well, she’s wearing a ladybug dress. But that was what her name was on Pinterest so I’m going with that.

19. Looks like we’ve found ourselves in Tin Can Alley.

Seems like we come across a tin can lady and her metal dog. Not scary, but adorable for any Tin Man to love.

Seems like we come across a tin can lady and her metal dog. Not scary, but adorable for any Tin Man to love.

20. Seems like this old rusty truck needs some fixing.

Well, that's one way you can reuse an old busted truck. Like the scarecrow pumpkin mechanics the best though.

Well, that’s one way you can reuse an old busted truck. Like the scarecrow pumpkin mechanics the best though.

21. This scarecrow lady has to look her best when she’s out on the town.

She even has her straw lapdog in a shirt that she has around her arm. Like the purple purse and turquoise scarf.

She even has her straw lapdog in a shirt that she has around her arm. Like the purple purse and turquoise scarf.

22. To scare the crows away, this guy resorts to cartwheels.

Then again, it might for some of the crows. But this is a really creative, especially with having the scarecrow being upside down.

Then again, it might for some of the crows. But this is a really creative, especially with having the scarecrow being upside down.

23. Heard about Angry Birds? How about Angry Bales?

Well, they're Angry Birds as hay bales. Basically consists of spray-paint and straw. Fans will love it.

Well, they’re Angry Birds as hay bales. Basically consists of spray-paint and straw. Fans will love it.

24. While everyone works, these scarecrows take an afternoon bike ride.

Looks like these guys are having a good time. Wonder if any of them are wearing helmets.

Looks like these guys are having a good time. Wonder if any of them are wearing helmets.

25. Anyone else think her dress looks shady?

I mean her dress is made from 3 different lamp shades. And each one is trimmed with autumn leaves.

I mean her dress is made from 3 different lamp shades. And each one is trimmed with autumn leaves or flowers.

26. This lady scarecrow brings an aura of sophistication.

Well, she has a rather interesting dress that seems straight from My Fair Lady. Seems to suit her.

Well, she has a rather interesting dress that seems straight from My Fair Lady. Seems to suit her.

27. This little dog seems to come out right from the haystack.

Sure it looks like a normal pile of hay until you see the dog's face. But sometimes you don't know where the straw dog begins and the bale ends.

Sure it looks like a normal pile of hay until you see the dog’s face. But sometimes you don’t know where the straw dog begins and the bale ends.

28. This scarecrow appears to be a bit potted lately.

After all, he's made from a lot of flower pots that were probably sold at discount prices. Like the hay in the hands and head.

After all, he’s made from a lot of flower pots that were probably sold at discount prices. Like the hay in the hands, feet, and head.

29. There’s nothing more relaxing to this garden lady than picking some flowers.

Sure her head is a flower pot and she wears a flower hat. But you have to admire how her bright green gloves would stand out. Also, that's not an outfit you wear for gardening.

Sure her head is a flower pot and she wears a flower hat. But you have to admire how her bright green gloves would stand out. Also, that’s not an outfit you wear for gardening.

30. Wonder what that scarecrow is doing in his long underwear or pajamas.

Okay, those may be pajamas and they seem to be in light pink. Not sure if that would scare the crows.

Okay, those may be pajamas and they seem to be in light pink. Not sure if that would scare the crows.

31. This Victorian scarecrow looks smashing in her elegant dress.

Well, it certainly is a dress of black and lace. Love the flowers in the hat. Lovely.

Well, it certainly is a dress of black and lace. Love the flowers in the hat. Lovely.

32. Oh, look, the minion bales are coming.

Yes, these the hay bales of minions from Despicable Me. There are a lot of minion scarecrows out there. This among the most creative.

Yes, these the hay bales of minions from Despicable Me. There are a lot of minion scarecrows out there. This among the most creative.

33. Sometimes you can always use a break to relax.

But I'm not sure if lounging in a swimsuit is ideal for fall weather. Also, her skin seems to be made from burlap.

But I’m not sure if lounging in a swimsuit is ideal for fall weather. Also, her skin seems to be made from burlap.

34. Want to buy some garden veggies?

Well, she seems to have quite the variety. Not sure people wear flowery aprons anymore. But it adds a nice touch.

Well, she seems to have quite the variety. Not sure people wear flowery aprons anymore. But it adds a nice touch.

35. This scarecrow’s head seems a bit rakey for some reason.

Well, he seems to have a rake head decked with sunflowers. Must have a rather sunny disposition.

Well, he seems to have a rake head decked with sunflowers. Must have a rather sunny disposition.

36. This redhead pumpkin head revels in her polka dot dress.

Not a fan of polka dots, but she does seem to rock the outfit without being tacky. Like the flowers in her hair, too.

Not a fan of polka dots, but she does seem to rock the outfit without being tacky. Like the flowers in her hair, too.

37. How about you come in and stay for a spell?

I think this was for a town scarecrow contest. But I love how these ladies are wearing bright colored dresses. And how one of them sits on the hay bale.

I think this was for a town scarecrow contest. But I love how these ladies are wearing bright colored dresses. And how one of them sits on the hay bale.

38. Since Christ was born in a stable, it’s only fair we have a scarecrow nativity scene.

Seems like they didn't have the time and the energy to have shepherds, livestock, and wise men. but you have to like the fall display though.

Seems like they didn’t have the time and the energy to have shepherds, livestock, and wise men. but you have to like the fall display though.

39. Kiddies, you might not want to go near this bed.

Because that's not Little Red Riding Hood's grandma. That's the Big Bad Wolf dressed as her grandma. But you have love this display. So right.

Because that’s not Little Red Riding Hood’s grandma. That’s the Big Bad Wolf dressed as her grandma. But you have love this display. So right.

40. This jack o’lantern couple seems much happier than in the Grand Wood painting.

Yes, it's supposed to be the American Gothic couple that's countlessly parodied. But these two are smiling instead of stern.

Yes, it’s supposed to be the American Gothic couple that’s countlessly parodied. But these two are smiling instead of stern.

41. This woman walks to the garden all decked in lettuce.

Her top is in red (well, purple) and her skirt seems romaine. And she's even wearing a sunflower to top it all off.

Her top is in red (well, purple) and her skirt seems romaine. And she’s even wearing a sunflower to top it all off.

42. Guess that witch should’ve watched out for that tree.

Yeah, she should always keep her eyes open when she's on the broom. Also, not drink and fly.

Yeah, she should always keep her eyes open when she’s on the broom. Also, not drink and fly.

43. This knightly scarecrow mounts for a joust on his noble steed.

Yes, his horse might be made from a tree or straw. But he looks so cool in his red knightly attire.

Yes, his horse might be made from a tree or straw. But he looks so cool in his red knightly attire.

44. Guess there’s so much straw inside this thing for a horse.

Oh, wait, that is a scarecrow horse. Not sure how it'll scare crows. But you have to admire this person's creativity and effort.

Oh, wait, that is a scarecrow horse. Not sure how it’ll scare crows. But you have to admire this person’s creativity and effort.

45. Supercrow his here to save the day from grasshopper infestation!

Like how he's hanging. But the fact this guy could flatten entire cities in his encounters with fellow Kryptonians should have the crows proceed with caution.

Like how he’s hanging. But the fact this guy could flatten entire cities in his encounters with fellow Kryptonians should have the crows proceed with caution.

46. Just 3 little girls playing in a garden, nothing to see here.

Well, I guess children scarecrows take up less straw. But you have to appreciate this concept. So cute.

Well, I guess children scarecrows take up less straw. But you have to appreciate this concept. So cute.

47. This straw owl is always set to be a hoot.

It's even bigger than a real owl and less fancy. Still, got to love the wings on this.

It’s even bigger than a real owl and less fancy. Still, got to love the wings on this.

48. These workers have just been given a break to break off a piece of that Kit Kat Bar.

Yes, these are road workers. But the sign should clearly say, "Give me a break. Break me off a piece of that Kit Kat Bar." The slogan's wrong.

Yes, these are road workers. But the sign should clearly say, “Give me a break. Break me off a piece of that Kit Kat Bar.” The slogan’s wrong.

49. In this lawn Captain Jack Sparrow surely makes an unforgettable presence.

Now that really looks like Johnny Depp, almost lifelike. Not sure if the garden setting agrees with him.

Now that really looks like Johnny Depp, almost lifelike. Not sure if the garden setting agrees with him.

50. This scarecrow seems to haven numbers and letters all over him.

Well, it looks like something made for a teacher. Love the patches though.

Well, it looks like something made for a teacher. Love the patches though.

51. Time for this old scarecrow to saddle up.

See he's on a wooden horse wearing a sheriff's badge. And he's carrying a lasso. Seems more like a rodeo clown to me.

See he’s on a wooden horse wearing a sheriff’s badge. And he’s carrying a lasso. Seems more like a rodeo clown to me.

52. Guess it’s always a luau where this guy is concerned.

That or on his way to a Jimmy Buffett concert. Wonder if there are people in Hawaii who have scarecrows in their gardens.

That or on his way to a Jimmy Buffett concert. Wonder if there are people in Hawaii who have scarecrows in their gardens.

53. No, I don’t think Vincent can lend an ear today.

You can guess this is a scarecrow of Vincent Van Gogh who sometimes painted crows. He even has a bandage from where he cut his ear, too.

You can guess this is a scarecrow of Vincent Van Gogh who sometimes painted crows. He even has a bandage from where he cut his ear, too.

54. This scarecrow ogre isn’t the monster you think he is.

Okay, he may be gross but he mostly keeps to himself. Still, this Shrek scarecrow is clever.

Okay, he may be gross but he mostly keeps to himself. Still, this Shrek scarecrow is clever.

55. This gypsy scarecrow comes in on her tambourine.

Then again, I'm not sure if she's carrying a tambourine or not. But I really like her dress though.

Then again, I’m not sure if she’s carrying a tambourine or not. But I really like her dress though.

56. “On the crows again, just can’t wait to get on the crows again…”

That's a very good Willie Nelson scarecrow. The braids are excellent. Brilliant.

That’s a very good Willie Nelson scarecrow. The braids are excellent. Brilliant.

57. This Carmen Miranda scarecrow has quite a fruit bowl on her head.

Yeah, Carmen Miranda seems to be widely imitated. But a lot of people don't know what she actually sang.

Yeah, Carmen Miranda seems to be widely imitated. But a lot of people don’t know what she actually sang.

58. Looks like Cousin It has come to stay for awhile.

That has to be a very easy scarecrow to make. I mean you just need a haystack, hat, and sunglasses.

That has to be a very easy scarecrow to make. I mean you just need a haystack, hat, and sunglasses.

59. Looks like this scarecrow display comes straight from under the sea.

And it seems that Ariel isn't in her trademark seashell bra. Still, wish I can find other Disney scarecrows.

And it seems that Ariel isn’t in her trademark seashell bra. Still, wish I can find other Disney scarecrows.

60. Harry Potter tends to make an entrance on his Firebolt.

However, the hair doesn't exactly look right on this. Because Harry has black hair, not straw colored. But seems like whoever made this didn't have the time.

However, the hair doesn’t exactly look right on this. Because Harry has black hair, not straw colored. But seems like whoever made this didn’t have the time.

61. On some days, you just have to give the dog a bone.

This especially goes for a scarecrow dog. Because crows are more likely to be scared of them.

This especially goes for a scarecrow dog. Because crows are more likely to be scared of them.

62. This scarecrow gorilla is sure going ape.

Yes, you read that right. That's a gorilla scarecrow. And it probably consists of a gorilla suit with straw.

Yes, you read that right. That’s a gorilla scarecrow. And it probably consists of a gorilla suit with straw.

63. Here we have a firefighting scarecrow to the rescue.

Unfortunately, he may not be able to survive the flames since most scarecrows are extremely flammable. This was made by a town fire department.

Unfortunately, he may not be able to survive the flames since most scarecrows are extremely flammable. This was made by a town fire department.

64. This scarecrow thinks his garden is his own orchestra.

Sure he may be in normal clothes. But so are a lot of conductors at rehearsal. Fits in with the garden look though.

Sure he may be in normal clothes. But so are a lot of conductors at rehearsal. Fits in with the garden look though.

65. Hijacked Henry messed with the wrong crow.

Well, the crow is just incredibly large in this rendition. But you have to wonder how someone could do this.

Well, the crow is just incredibly large in this rendition. But you have to wonder how someone could do this.

66. How about you spend some time listening to this jughead band?

Yes, the kind of band that makes country western bands seem less hickish in comparison. Still, it's pretty funny and clever.

Yes, the kind of band that makes country western bands seem less hickish in comparison. Still, it’s pretty funny and clever.

67. Heard of a scarecrow? How about a scare chicken?

Bigger and tanner than a regular chicken. But doesn't have much meat despite appearances.

Bigger and tanner than a regular chicken. But doesn’t have much meat despite appearances.

68. I’m sure this little straw dog won’t hurt a thing.

My guess is that it's a little straw terrier. Not sure what it has in its mouth which might be toilet paper.

My guess is that it’s a little straw terrier. Not sure what it has in its mouth which might be toilet paper.

69. This chef doesn’t seem too happy about crows on his pie.

Yet, he doesn't seem to do anything about the crows. Or is that really a crow pie? Best not think of it.

Yet, he doesn’t seem to do anything about the crows. Or is that really a crow pie? Best not think of it.

70. Yes, raking leaves is a lot of work.

And it seems that someone just fell into the wheelbarrow. Like the outfits. So much like fall.

And it seems that someone just fell into the wheelbarrow. Like the outfits. So much like fall.

71. Now this lady sports a fine barrel dress.

Well, metal barrel anyway. Yet, seems to take form of Scarlett O'Hara's curtain dress with a dash of Wizard of Oz.

Well, metal barrel anyway. Yet, seems to take form of Scarlett O’Hara’s curtain dress with a dash of Wizard of Oz.

72. This colorful scarecrow seems to go for the flowers.

Helps that she seems to spring from a pot in a flowery dress. Love the rainbow petals.

Helps that she seems to spring from a pot in a flowery dress. Love the rainbow petals.

73. Seems like this plumber doesn’t know where to put a plunger.

He's even sporting a pumpkin plumber's butt to boot. Yeah, really needs to aim for the toilet bowl.

He’s even sporting a pumpkin plumber’s butt to boot. Yeah, really needs to aim for the toilet bowl.

74. This scarecrow prefers the company of bees to the birds.

Well, a beekeeper scarecrow, how original. Even has bees to go with it. Awesome.

Well, a beekeeper scarecrow, how original. Even has bees to go with it. Awesome.

75. Seems like this paratrooper landed in the wrong place.

Now he's hanging from the roof in his parachute. Must be WWII blitz inspired.

Now he’s hanging from the roof in his parachute. Must be WWII blitz inspired.

76. Mary had her little lamb, its fleece was white as snow.

Because if it was Little Bo Peep, she would've lost her sheep. Also, not sure about depicting her in bloomers.

Because if it was Little Bo Peep, she would’ve lost her sheep. Also, not sure about depicting her in bloomers.

77. Guess you wouldn’t want to go to this scarecrow for marriage advice.

Then again, he only beheaded two of his wives. But Henry VIII also put the ax to a lot of his friends and advisers who either refused to go along with what he wanted (like Thomas More) or screwed over big time (like Thomas Cromwell).

Then again, he only beheaded two of his wives. But Henry VIII also put the ax to a lot of his friends and advisers who either refused to go along with what he wanted (like Thomas More) or screwed over big time (like Thomas Cromwell).

78. This mermaid scarecrow seems to be a fish out of water.

Yes, it looks quite unusual if you ask me. But you might see a few at a scarecrow festival or two.

Yes, it looks quite unusual if you ask me. But you might see a few at a scarecrow festival or two.

79. This scarecrow seems to have a real beak for things.

Never mind that he resembles a giant crow with wings. Like how he takes to a straw hat and coveralls.

Never mind that he resembles a giant crow with wings. Like how he takes to a straw hat and coveralls.

80. Seems like somebody ran in to a shrub with their bike.

Probably should've put their foot on the brakes before running into that. Still, like how it just consists of a pair of legs.

Probably should’ve put their foot on the brakes before running into that. Still, like how it just consists of a pair of legs.

The Electoral World of Campaign Merchandise

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As you should know by now, 2016 is a presidential election year in which American voters will soon choose a new president since the perfectly good one we have already is about to serve out his two terms. This year our two nominees consist of a perfectly normal politician and former First Lady who a lot of people don’t seem to like for not very good reasons at times and a racist lunatic con artist whom you shouldn’t trust with running your small business, let alone the country. Seriously, there is no logical reason whatsoever to vote for Donald Trump. I mean this guy is possibly a psychopath who cares about nobody but himself and he’s a horrible businessman. Anyway, as with many election years you’re bound to find a lot of crap being sold way overpriced. You may have the conventional pins, ribbons, T-shirts, signs, and posters. But you also have other crap that might make you scratch your head. And that’s what I will show you. By the most of these will be from more recent elections.

  1. Celebrate Donald Trump’s candidacy with this Trump rally pack for 6.
On second thought, don't. Because that's celebrating the worst possible decision you'll make in your life. Seriously, Trump supporters, please don't vote for this guy.

On second thought, don’t. Because that’s celebrating the worst possible decision you’ll make in your life. Seriously, Trump supporters, please don’t vote for this guy.

2. Refresh your thirst with this Marco Rubio water bottle.

Well, that's a way to own up to an embarrassing moment on TV. Yeah, Rubio wasn't looking presidential when commenting on Obama's State of the Union.

Well, that’s a way to own up to an embarrassing moment on TV. Yeah, Rubio wasn’t looking presidential when commenting on Obama’s State of the Union.

3. This Bobby Kennedy mug looks quite trippy.

Senator Robert F. Kennedy ran for president in 1968 and could've been the Democratic nominee. But somebody had to shoot him after he won California.

Senator Robert F. Kennedy ran for president in 1968 and could’ve been the Democratic nominee. But somebody had to shoot him after he won California.

4. Don’t let relatives tread on you with this Ted Cruz ugly Christmas sweater.

And yes, it looks about as ugly as you'd expect. Then again, it might make relatives punch you in the chest where Cruz's face is.

And yes, it looks about as ugly as you’d expect. Then again, it might make relatives punch you in the chest where Cruz’s face is.

5. There will be hell toupee with this crocheted Donald Trump beanie.

Yeah, it's ugly just like Donald Trump's rug on his head. Don't know if these women are Trump supporters but I highly doubt it.

Yeah, it’s ugly just like Donald Trump’s rug on his head. Don’t know if these women are Trump supporters but I highly doubt it.

6. Show your support for Carly Fiorina with this jeweled pin.

Paid for by the dollars of all the workers Fiorina fired from Hewlett Packard before it went to shit. Yes, she was that bad.

Paid for by the dollars of all the workers Fiorina fired from Hewlett Packard before it went to shit. Yes, she was that bad.

7. Nothing makes you go for Trump than this butt plug.

Let's just say having Trump up in my ass is the last place I'd want him to be. Actually, that might be tied with in my life, in my area, or in the White House. Seriously, I really wish this guy would go away.

Let’s just say having Trump up in my ass is the last place I’d want him to be. Actually, that might be tied with in my life, in my area, or in the White House. Seriously, I really wish this guy would go away.

8. Make yourself smell nice with Gold Water or Johnson Juice.

Yes, they actually had these during the 1964 presidential campaign. I don't know why they thought it was a good idea. Or why they decided to put the stuff in cans.

Yes, they actually had these during the 1964 presidential campaign. I don’t know why they thought it was a good idea. Or why they decided to put the stuff in cans.

9. For your Jeb Bush rally, these paper plates will always come in handy.

I bet these are overpriced since they have Jeb's face on them. Too bad the White House was only a dream for him in 2016.

I bet these are overpriced since they have Jeb’s face on them. Too bad the White House was only a dream for him in 2016.

10. Show your love of Rand Paul and his hatred for drones with this “Don’t Drone Me, Bro!” T-shirt.

Yes, tell them how much you hate drones but love Kentucky Senator Rand Paul. You know the guy who's backing the libertarian principles of his dad that have no use in reality.

Yes, tell them how much you hate drones but love Kentucky Senator Rand Paul. You know the guy who’s backing the libertarian principles of his dad that have no use in reality.

11. Show your support for Hillary Clinton with these pink boy short underwear.

Or at least show these underwear to let people know that you're not an idiot when it comes to politics. And that you don't want your president to set a terrible example to your kids.

Or at least show these underwear to let people know that you’re not an idiot when it comes to politics. And that you don’t want your president to set a terrible example to your kids.

12. Let your friends remember how many times Mitt Romney changes positions with this pair of flip flops.

Still, these sandals might make you feel nostalgic for 2012. At least I'd be able to vote for Obama for reelection. Still, at least Romney didn't change his position on Trump whom he will not vote for this year.

Still, these sandals might make you feel nostalgic for 2012. At least I’d be able to vote for Obama for reelection. Still, at least Romney didn’t change his position on Trump whom he will not vote for this year.

13. With these boxers, you can be brief about your support for Marco Rubio.

Marco Rubio boxers? Seriously, this guy must've aching for campaign contributions. Still, when it comes to underwear, this is probably overpriced.

Marco Rubio boxers? Seriously, this guy must’ve aching for campaign contributions. Still, when it comes to underwear, this is probably overpriced.

14. Be able to stop traffic near New Jersey bridges with this Chris Christie crossing guard.

This is brilliant. I mean we all remember this guy from Bridgegate right? You know when he stopped all those cars in traffic to get back at politicians who wouldn't support him?

This is brilliant. I mean we all remember this guy from Bridgegate right? You know when he stopped all those cars in traffic to get back at politicians who wouldn’t support him?

15. If you’re a Christian conservative, then you’ll love this Mike Huckabee dart board.

Or if you really hate him that throwing darts at his face helps you let out your aggression. Works either way. Glad he's gone. Hope he didn't forget to slam the door on his way out.

Or if you really hate him that throwing darts at his face helps you let out your aggression. Works either way. Glad he’s gone. Hope he didn’t forget to slam the door on his way out.

16. Feel the excitement for South Carolina Senator Lindsey Graham with these boy shorts.

Hope this kind of underwear doesn't give away Graham's sexual preference. Still, I can't believe these exist.

Hope this kind of underwear doesn’t give away Graham’s sexual preference. Still, I can’t believe these exist.

17.  Fans of Rick Santorum might want to join his bandwagon with this Santorum sweater vest.

After all, Santorum is most famous for wearing them on the campaign trail. Still, remember that he's incredibly loathed in Pennsylvania that people devoted a lot of energy to replace him with Bob Casey. And Casey won by a landslide since he's way less prone to embarrassing his own state every time he opens his mouth.

After all, Santorum is most famous for wearing them on the campaign trail. Still, remember that he’s incredibly loathed in Pennsylvania that people devoted a lot of energy to replace him with Bob Casey. And Casey won by a landslide since he’s way less prone to embarrassing his own state every time he opens his mouth.

18. Make yourself seem like a hero with this Marco Rubio hero T-shirt.

Yes, I'm sure it'll make anyone look heroic until You have to debate with a fat guy from Jersey in New Hampshire. Yeah, Christie definitely caused a lot of damage to Rubio's campaign.

Yes, I’m sure it’ll make anyone look heroic until You have to debate with a fat guy from Jersey in New Hampshire. Yeah, Christie definitely caused a lot of damage to Rubio’s campaign.

19. This autographed constitution shows how much Rand Paul holds it close to his heart.

And it could be yours for $1,000 so you can use it to justify your free market fantasy. Too bad Rand ended up suspending his campaign in the end.

And it could be yours for $1,000 so you can use it to justify your free market fantasy. Too bad Rand ended up suspending his campaign in the end.

20. Send your Trump supporter friends this card for Saint Patrick’s Day.

Okay, that seems a bit mean. However, we must accept the fact that friends don't let friends vote for Donald Trump.

Okay, that seems a bit mean. However, we must accept the fact that friends don’t let friends vote for Donald Trump.

21. Hold in hope for Trump with this prayer candle.

Or just look at the outside to understand Trump's inflated sense of himself. Seriously, why would anyone light a candle for this monster?

Or just look at the outside to understand Trump’s inflated sense of himself. Seriously, why would anyone light a candle for this monster?

22. This T-shirt shows how Hillary sucks but not like Monica.

Okay, that's really sexist and very inappropriate. Still, at least Hillary doesn't suck like Trump who's way more crooked than her.

Okay, that’s really sexist and very inappropriate. Still, at least Hillary doesn’t suck like Trump who’s way more crooked than her.

23. See the revolution with this Rand Paul eye chart.

Because Rand Paul is an ophthalmologist, they have this. Too bad he didn't defeat the Washington machine.

Because Rand Paul is an ophthalmologist, they have this. Too bad he didn’t defeat the Washington machine.

24. Host your own fiesta with this Jeb Bush guacamole bowl.

Probably the most expensive dip bowl you'll ever buy. I guess this was used to cater to the Hispanic vote.

Probably the most expensive dip bowl you’ll ever buy. I guess this was used to cater to the Hispanic vote.

25. If you love Dr. Ben Carson, then you’ll love these scrubs.

Still, just because this guy could separate co-joined twins doesn't mean he'd be great at running the country. Also, remember he's now supporting Donald Trump and can be quite weird.

Still, just because this guy could separate co-joined twins doesn’t mean he’d be great at running the country. Also, remember he’s now supporting Donald Trump and can be quite weird.

26. Keep your lips from chapping with I Kiss Barack Obama chapstick.

Well, even if you put it on a pig, it's still a pig. Also, you'll lose it before your done with it. So why pay more for chapstick?

Well, even if you put it on a pig, it’s still a pig. Also, you’ll lose it before your done with it. So why pay more for chapstick?

27. Take out your anger with these Obama and McCain inflatable punching bags.

Guess this was a great way to take out one's anger issues in 2008. Still, they both seem to look badass on these.

Guess this was a great way to take out one’s anger issues in 2008. Still, they both seem to look badass on these.

28. Support William McKinley, get this soap baby.

Yes, they had campaign swag back in 1896. Don't understand why McKinley supporters would sell this because it looks really creepy.

Yes, they had campaign swag back in 1896. Don’t understand why McKinley supporters would sell this because it looks really creepy.

29. Silver bugs go to William Jennings Bryan while gold bugs go to William McKinley.

This had something to do with the Republicans supporting the Gold Standard and the Democrats supporting the silver currency model. The gold bugs won out.

This had something to do with the Republicans supporting the Gold Standard and the Democrats supporting the silver currency model. The gold bugs won out.

30. Those who like Ike should get this Dwight D. Eisenhower pot holder.

Yes, it's a potholder with Eisenhower's face on it. Yes, I know it's freaky. But it's from the 1950s.

Yes, it’s a potholder with Eisenhower’s face on it. Yes, I know it’s freaky. But it’s from the 1950s.

31. Feel the Bern with these Bernie Sanders underwear.

Because there's nothing sexier than having a picture of an old Socialist Jew on your ass. Still, I like Bernie, but this is ridiculous.

Because there’s nothing sexier than having a picture of an old Socialist Jew on your ass. Still, I like Bernie, but this is ridiculous.

32. If you support John Kaisich, you might want this cup.

Or as I call Kaisich, "the last possible sane guy to quit in the 2016 GOP primary." Then again, he kind of sucked.

Or as I call Kaisich, “the last possible sane guy to quit in the 2016 GOP primary.” Then again, he kind of sucked.

33. Be in the true American spirit with this Ted Cruz coloring book.

Apparently, the GOP voters didn't "c" Cruz for president. Yet, Cruz would later decline to support Trump at the GOP convention. What an asshole.

Apparently, the GOP voters didn’t “c” Cruz for president. Yet, Cruz would later decline to support Trump at the GOP convention. What an asshole.

34. Stand with Rand in these flip flops.

Because you have to bring libertarianism into the public shower. Yet, Rand didn't last too long in the primaries though.

Because you have to bring libertarianism into the public shower. Yet, Rand didn’t last too long in the primaries though.

35. If you support Trump then this glass brick shows how you’d want his wall one brick at a time.

Even though Trump's wall isn't going to keep people from coming into the country and will be a massive waste of money. I mean can't we just let the undocumented immigrants already here become citizens? It's the least we can do.

Even though Trump’s wall isn’t going to keep people from coming into the country and will be a massive waste of money. I mean can’t we just let the undocumented immigrants already here become citizens? It’s the least we can do.

36. Let people know who Donald Trump really is with this “Make Donald Drumpf Again” hat.

Because it's a play on "Make America Great Again," which John Oliver parodied on his show. And yes, these hats sold like wildfire.

Because it’s a play on “Make America Great Again,” which John Oliver parodied on his show. And yes, these hats sold like wildfire.

37. These Trump condoms are said to be “Yuuuuge!”

Yeah, Trump thinks he's huge all right even though his tacky style seems to suggest he's compensating for something. Still, these are funny.

Yeah, Trump thinks he’s huge all right even though his tacky style seems to suggest he’s compensating for something. Still, these are funny.

38. Your cat will enjoy hours of fun with this Donald Trump cat scratcher.

Because you probably had fantasies of setting your cat on him but know it's illegal to do so. So this is the next best thing.

Because you probably had fantasies of setting your cat on him but know it’s illegal to do so. So this is the next best thing.

39. Keep your feet snug and warm again in these Donald Trump hair slippers.

Made by Gucci which costs $1,800 which I think is way overpriced. Seems like somebody there doesn't like Donald Trump. But overpricing these is kind of fitting when it's inspired by New York's most expensive piece of garbage.

Made by Gucci which costs $1,800 which I think is way overpriced. Seems like somebody there doesn’t like Donald Trump. But overpricing these is kind of fitting when it’s inspired by New York’s most expensive piece of garbage.

40. Feel the Bern this Christmas season with this Bernie Sanders ugly sweater.

Sure he's a Democratic Socialist Jew from Vermont. But at least he always speaks his mind for the little guy.

Sure he’s a Democratic Socialist Jew from Vermont. But at least he always speaks his mind for the little guy.

41. This T-Shirt shows how much Jeb Bush admires his dad.

But when it came to his older brother George W., Jeb declined to comment. But while Dubya's presidency was a disaster, even he knows not to vote for Donald Trump.

But when it came to his older brother George W., Jeb declined to comment. But while Dubya’s presidency was a disaster, even he knows not to vote for Donald Trump.

42. If you want Richard Nixon now, wear this hat.

Yet, you might want to reconsider since Nixon's guys gave you Watergate. Then again, I'm just speaking from hindsight here.

Yet, you might want to reconsider since Nixon’s guys gave you Watergate. Then again, I’m just speaking from hindsight here.

43. If you want a tough guy from New Jersey, this Chris Christie thong is just the ticket.

It's one of the few types of underwear that could stop miles of traffic. Just ask Chris Christie.

It’s one of the few types of underwear that could stop miles of traffic. Just ask Chris Christie.

44. So will it be Trump flakes or Clinton Crunch?

Just go with the Clinton Crunch, please. The Trump Flakes contain too many nuts.

Just go with the Clinton Crunch, please. The Trump Flakes contain too many nuts.

45. If you like Dogald Trump, carry this tote to show how he wants to deport all cats.

Then again, Dogald Trump seems a better choice for president than his human counterpart. The worst thing he does is piss on the carpet everywhere.

Then again, Dogald Trump seems a better choice for president than his human counterpart. The worst thing he does is piss on the carpet everywhere.

46. Bring in the campaign spirit this year with this Donald Trump pinata.

I heard it's used by Mexicans as an anger management tool. So if you feel like beating Trump apart with a stick, this one's for you.

I heard it’s used by Mexicans as an anger management tool. So if you feel like beating Trump apart with a stick, this one’s for you.

47. Clean up after your pet with these Dump for Trump poop bags.

Sure cleaning after your dog during the day is a pain. But with these at least you can give Trump the kind of shit he deserves.

Sure cleaning after your dog during the day is a pain. But with these at least you can give Trump the kind of shit he deserves.

48. Remember, kids, Bert + Ernie = Bernie. It’s simple.

So I guess they're really feeling the Bern on Sesame Street. Guess it's understandable.

So I guess they’re really feeling the Bern on Sesame Street. Guess it’s understandable.

49. Now you can get a signed copy of Scott Walker’s Unintimidated.

Because this guy isn't intimidated by Wisconsin public workers going on strike after he threatened to take away their collective bargaining rights. Seriously, this guy is a piece of shit. But at least he didn't stay long in the GOP primary.

Because this guy isn’t intimidated by Wisconsin public workers going on strike after he threatened to take away their collective bargaining rights. Seriously, this guy is a piece of shit. But at least he didn’t stay long in the GOP primary.

50. There’s a chance this Hillary’s hard drive might contain the e-mails everyone’s talking about.

Of course, despite the news media's endless coverage, nobody cares about Hillary's damn e-mails. Besides, Trump is way more crooked than her by a long shot.

Of course, despite the news media’s endless coverage, nobody cares about Hillary’s damn e-mails. Besides, Trump is way more crooked than her by a long shot.

51. Don’t worry, blacks, Nixon shows he likes you, too. Just think how many of them are in the Nixon Administration.

Not sure if I see any high ranking cabinet members here. But on the bright side, aside from Nixon, I don't recognize anyone from Watergate.

Not sure if I see any high ranking cabinet members here. But on the bright side, aside from Nixon, I don’t recognize anyone from Watergate.

52. For those who are undecided, this T-shirt is for you.

I guess this is the kind of T-shirt that reflects what a lot of people are thinking. Like a lot of Republicans who declined to attend the GOP Convention.

I guess this is the kind of T-shirt that reflects what a lot of people are thinking. Like a lot of Republicans who declined to attend the GOP Convention.

53. This T-Shirt is a lot like Mitt Romney, 100% Reversible.

To be fair, he did help pass a comprehensive healthcare bill in Massachusetts which inspired Obamacare. But that was before he was against it.

To be fair, he did help pass a comprehensive healthcare bill in Massachusetts which inspired Obamacare. But that was before he was against it.

54. Feel the Bern in your coffee.

For some reason, this is just the thing to put on a mug. Don't mind if he calls himself a Socialist.

For some reason, this is just the thing to put on a mug. Don’t mind if he calls himself a Socialist.

55. Show your support for Tippecanoe and Tyler, Too with this log cabin.

Note that William Henry Harrison used this for his election campaign to make himself the man of the people in 1840. This despite that he was actually born on his dad's Virginia Plantation and that his dad signed the Declaration of Independence. Also, Harrison drops dead 30 days after his inauguration.

Note that William Henry Harrison used this for his election campaign to make himself the man of the people in 1840. This despite that he was actually born on his dad’s Virginia Plantation and that his dad signed the Declaration of Independence. Also, Harrison drops dead 30 days after his inauguration.

56. It’s not a party unless you have a Bill and Hillary corkscrew and nutcracker.

These days, referring Hillary as a "nutcracker" might be seen as a compliment. This especially when you have her running against Donald Trump. As for Bill, you know why he's got a corkscrew.

These days, referring Hillary as a “nutcracker” might be seen as a compliment. This especially when you have her running against Donald Trump. As for Bill, you know why he’s got a corkscrew.

57. Show your support for Hillary with this pantsuit T-shirt.

Yes, we know that it's Hillary's signature outfit. Probably not one you should wear for work.

Yes, we know that it’s Hillary’s signature outfit. Probably not one you should wear for work.

58. This T-shirt shows that Ted Cruz was the Zodiac Killer.

Just remember this is a joke during the GOP Primary. I don't think Cruz was the Zodiac Killer because he would've been a kid at the time, if he was ever around.

Just remember this is a joke during the GOP Primary. I don’t think Cruz was the Zodiac Killer because he would’ve been a kid at the time, if he was ever around.

59. If you can’t send your dad a Father’s Day e-mail, send him this.

Once again, they make fun of the e-mails. Look, Hillary may have made mistakes but there are bigger things to talk about than her e-mails like Trump not paying his workers.

Once again, they make fun of the e-mails. Look, Hillary may have made mistakes but there are bigger things to talk about than her e-mails like Trump not paying his workers.

60. This paper ornament shows the Elizabeth Warren and Bernie dream team.

Yes, I know it shows them in a disco. But they'll always be a dream because Bernie lost the Dem primary and Warren had no desire to be veep.

Yes, I know it shows them in a disco. But they’ll always be a dream because Bernie lost the Dem primary and Warren had no desire to be veep.

61. Show you feel the Bern with these Bernie Sanders earrings.

Because there's nothing more stylish than wearing earrings with an old man's face on them. Yeah, that's ridiculous.

Because there’s nothing more stylish than wearing earrings with an old man’s face on them. Yeah, that’s ridiculous.

62. This Che Guevara portrait of Bernie is especially iconic.

Then again, you might not want to compare Bernie to Che Guevara. Because Che wasn't a very nice guy. Seriously, he wasn't.

Then again, you might not want to compare Bernie to Che Guevara. Because Che wasn’t a very nice guy. Seriously, he wasn’t.

63. Cover your cat’s butt hole with this Donald Trump cover.

From Refinery29: "Does the sight of your cat's booty bother you? Stare at Donald Trump's face, instead!" On second thought, I'd rather stare at the cat's butt hole.

From Refinery29: “Does the sight of your cat’s booty bother you? Stare at Donald Trump’s face, instead!” On second thought, I’d rather stare at the cat’s butt hole.

64. What’s not to love about this Bernie Sanders mouse pad?

I mean Bernie holding a kitty in the galaxy? Who can resist that?

I mean Bernie holding a kitty in the galaxy? Who can resist that?

65. Have a Biden Christmas with this ornament.

Then be very disappointed when you find out he's not even running for president. Then again, I'm kind of glad he's not.

Then be very disappointed when you find out he’s not even running for president. Then again, I’m kind of glad he’s not.

66. Have your baby feel the Bern with this onesie.

From Refinery29: "Dress your baby in this awesome onesie and tell bedtime stories about economic and social injustice."

From Refinery29: “Dress your baby in this awesome onesie and tell bedtime stories about economic and social injustice.”

67. Show that Rubio is your bae with this T-Shirt.

From Refinery29: "Show you're a fangirl of Florida's baby-faced senator with this punny shirt." Then again, I think the word "bae" is lame and that Rubio ran a shitty campaign.

From Refinery29: “Show you’re a fangirl of Florida’s baby-faced senator with this punny shirt.” Then again, I think the word “bae” is lame and that Rubio ran a shitty campaign.

68. Make your legs great again with these Donald Trump leggings.

Actually, you might want to go with your regular legs. Having Donald Trump's face like that looks disgusting.

Actually, you might want to go with your regular legs. Having Donald Trump’s face like that looks disgusting.

69. Trump supporters in the LGBTQ community can get their campaign T-Shirt.

I'm not sure how many LGBTQ would want this, especially since Mike Pence is his running mate. But maybe there are LGBTQ people out there who can be just as clueless about politics as their straight counterparts.

I’m not sure how many LGBTQ would want this, especially since Mike Pence is his running mate. But maybe there are LGBTQ people out there who can be just as clueless about politics as their straight counterparts.

70. Women, don’t you wish you can shed your menstrual blood on Trump? Now you can with this sanitary napkin.

Even better is that this is washable. I'd especially recommend this for any women Trump has greatly insulted over the years.

Even better is that this is washable. I’d especially recommend this for any women Trump has greatly insulted over the years.

71. With this Trump cutting board, you can make cheese grate again.

That's pretty clever. Yet, I doubt that Trump would ever make America great in any capacity. In fact, his presidency would be a national nightmare.

That’s pretty clever. Yet, I doubt that Trump would ever make America great in any capacity. In fact, his presidency would be a national nightmare.

72. Those who like Marco might want to wear this polo.

Remember, "Marco" "Polo," get it? Still, he's now running for reelection for his Senate seat.

Remember, “Marco” “Polo,” get it? Still, he’s now running for reelection for his Senate seat.

73. Pay $500 so you can help Marco Rubio buy a plane ticket.

Even funnier is that you have a picture of Southwest Airlines. It's the airline that has a no-frills service and cheap tickets. Guess Rubio must be desperate for campaign money.

Even funnier is that you have a picture of Southwest Airlines. It’s the airline that has a no-frills service and cheap tickets. Guess Rubio must be desperate for campaign money.

74. As John McCain’s runningmate, Sarah Palin is a MILF on the ticket.

Well, this is from 2008 when Palin caused a sensation as the VP candidate. But a scary woman to have on the ticket who didn't have a lot of experience? You betcha.

Well, this is from 2008 when Palin caused a sensation as the VP candidate. But a scary woman to have on the ticket who didn’t have a lot of experience? You betcha.

75. Now you can grow your own Obama Chia head.

There was some scrutiny on this one for some reason. But this is pretty funny in a disturbing way.

There was some scrutiny on this one for some reason. But this is pretty funny in a disturbing way.

76. Now your dog can look to make America great again with this Donald Trump wig.

This dog understandably doesn't look happy. Well, if someone put a Trump wig on me without my consent, I would, too.

This dog understandably doesn’t look happy. Well, if someone put a Trump wig on me without my consent, I would, too.

77. Clinton supporters in Wisconsin may want to get this cheese hat.

Note that we're talking about Bill here and not Hillary. Since this is from 1996.

Note that we’re talking about Bill here and not Hillary. Since this is from 1996.

78. Keep yourself clean this campaign season with these presidential soaps.

Consists of Trump, Cruz, Bernie, and Hillary. Guess they were the only ones running in the primaries at the time.

Consists of Trump, Cruz, Bernie, and Hillary. Guess they were the only ones running in the primaries at the time.

79. Cuddle up with these 2008 presidential Cabbage Patch Kids.

Well, these are interesting. Wonder who came up with that concept. Guess the Palin one has the most outfits out of the bunch.

Well, these are interesting. Wonder who came up with that concept. Guess the Palin one has the most outfits out of the bunch.

80. This presidential campaign season, help yourself to some candidate embroidered toilet paper.

Includes Hillary, Bernie, and Trump. I'm sure the Trump one sold the most for obvious reasons.

Includes Hillary, Bernie, and Trump. I’m sure the Trump one sold the most for obvious reasons.

81. Stand with Rand with these Rand Paul car mats.

Well, you can't really stand on these when you're in the car. But it's the thought that counts.

Well, you can’t really stand on these when you’re in the car. But it’s the thought that counts.

82. If you like Rand’s dad, enjoy endless hours with these Ron Paul action figures.

Ron Paul ran for president in 2008 and 2012. He's like the GOP's Bernie except that he wants to end the Fed and other unrealistic stuff. And that nobody listened to him.

Ron Paul ran for president in 2008 and 2012. He’s like the GOP’s Bernie except that he wants to end the Fed and other unrealistic stuff. And that nobody listened to him.

83. Snuggle up this campaign season with this Bernie Sanders teddy bear.

From the Vermont Teddy Bear Company. Yes, Socialism has never looked any cuter. Nor has Bernie.

From the Vermont Teddy Bear Company. Yes, Socialism has never looked any cuter. Nor has Bernie.

84. With this Sarah Palin doll, you can have fun for hours.

Sure she's dressed up in a skimpy outfit. But she was a gimmick runningmate from the get go. And once said she could see Russia from her house.

Sure she’s dressed up in a skimpy outfit. But she was a gimmick runningmate from the get go. And once said she could see Russia from her house.

85. This poster shows that Ted Cruz is blacklisted and loving it.

Of course, he's blacklisted because he once called for a government shutdown when he couldn't get his way on the budget. This was a terrible and selfish idea. But that's Ted Cruz for you.

Of course, he’s blacklisted because he once called for a government shutdown when he couldn’t get his way on the budget. This was a terrible and selfish idea. But that’s Ted Cruz for you.

86. Let your friends choose their campaign swag with this Bernie Sanders gift card.

Warning: Doesn't work for purchasing Hillary gear or stuff from big corporations. So you'll only be stuck using it to buy crap on Etsy.

Warning: Doesn’t work for purchasing Hillary gear or stuff from big corporations. So you’ll only be stuck using it to buy crap on Etsy.

87. Keep your computer protected with this Rand Paul Spy Cam blocker.

Not sure if it actually works against the NSA or at all to tell you the truth. But sometimes it's the thought that counts.

Not sure if it actually works against the NSA or at all to tell you the truth. But sometimes it’s the thought that counts.

88. Say it in a big way with this Rand Paul greeting card.

Man, Rand Paul seems to have a lot of strange campaign stuff here. Guess that card shows how much he hates big government. Figures.

Man, Rand Paul seems to have a lot of strange campaign stuff here. Guess that card shows how much he hates big government. Figures.

89. Take a nip with this Jeb Bush hip flask.

Because chances are you'd probably use it a lot in the 2016 GOP primary race. Because Jeb didn't do well in that race.

Because chances are you’d probably use it a lot in the 2016 GOP primary race. Because Jeb didn’t do well in that race.

90. This Ted Cruz poster should inspire courageous conservatism.

But to me it shows a man with great delusions of grandeur who likes to throw in a hissy fit whenever he doesn't get his way. However, couldn't really blame him for dissing Trump at the RNC.

But to me it shows a man with great delusions of grandeur who likes to throw in a hissy fit whenever he doesn’t get his way. However, couldn’t really blame him for dissing Trump at the RNC.

91. Show your support Rick Perry with this mugshot T-Shirt.

This shirt was made when he was under indictment for abusing his gubernatorial office. The person on the back is a DA who was prosecuting him.

This shirt was made when he was under indictment for abusing his gubernatorial office. The person on the back is a DA who was prosecuting him.

92. Have lots of fun with this blow up Donald Trump sex doll.

Guess this was made to suit the sexual fantasies of gold diggers and masochists everywhere. Seriously, why?

Guess this was made to suit the sexual fantasies of gold diggers and masochists everywhere. Notice that he has no balls.

93. Seems like I knew that Ted Cruz was always a vampire, especially in this portrait.

And I thought the vampire from Nosferatu was ugly. You might want to punch this vampire in the face.

And I thought the vampire from Nosferatu was ugly. You might want to punch this vampire in the face.

94. Make coloring great again with this Trump coloring book.

And that, my friends, is how Donald Trump sees himself. Yet, I think his personality tends to resemble Lex Luthor but way dumber with more hair.

And that, my friends, is how Donald Trump sees himself. Yet, I think his personality tends to resemble Lex Luthor but way dumber with more hair.

95. Smell rich with Trump’s success perfume.

Well, it's the kind of scent where you spend a lot thinking you'll smell like success. But you'll actually smell like shit.

Well, it’s the kind of scent where you spend a lot thinking you’ll smell like success. But you’ll actually smell like shit.

96. Wear this T-Shirt to show that you’re wild for Ted Cruz.

Seems the kind of Ted Cruz shirt that Ted Cruz would make on Etsy. To get campaign money.

Seems the kind of Ted Cruz shirt that Ted Cruz would make on Etsy. To get campaign money.

97. Show your support for Thomas Dewey and Earl Warren with these granny panties.

Yes, these do exist but they weren't as popular as the Truman/Barkley ones. By the way, Earl Warren would go on to become one awesome Chief Supreme Court Justice who had his court unanimously rule against school segregation.

Yes, these do exist but they weren’t as popular as the Truman/Barkley ones. By the way, Earl Warren would go on to become one awesome Chief Supreme Court Justice who had his court unanimously rule against school segregation.

98. If it’s your birthday, then you better show Trump your birth certificate.

This especially goes if you're Latino because he'll suspect that you're not legal. Yeah, you can see why Hispanics don't like the guy.

This especially goes if you’re Latino because he’ll suspect that you’re not legal. Yeah, you can see why Hispanics don’t like the guy.

99. Calm down on your own Ted Cruz “Breathe” yoga mat.

Didn't know that Ted Cruz's campaign even sold yoga mats. Because Cruz doesn't strike me as a yoga kind of guy.

Didn’t know that Ted Cruz’s campaign even sold yoga mats. Because Cruz doesn’t strike me as a yoga kind of guy.

100. Make American Great Again by buying your own broken Trump watch.

Because if Trump didn't inherit $200 million from his daddy, he'd be selling these. You got that right. He's a trust fund baby con artist.

Because if Trump didn’t inherit $200 million from his daddy, he’d be selling these. You got that right. He’s a trust fund baby con artist.