Vintage Food Ads in the Days of Yesteryear (Second Edition)

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Along with alcohol, food is also among the many promoted items during the holiday season. After all, in the United States, Thanksgiving and Christmas are often marked with large feasts among families as well as parties among friends. And you can see this among the incessant holiday advertising on TV which seem to come earlier and earlier with each year. Then again, you find food ads everywhere these days since well, people have to eat in order to live. Yes, the food may not always be good for you or appealing. But hey, what do you know? Nevertheless, you find plenty of vintage food ads on the internet. Some of them might be artistic masterpieces like this Chat Noir above (which is a bistro restaurant in France). Some not so much for various reasons. Some might seem suggestive. Some might feature recipes not fit for human consumption. Some might contain rather misleading information. And some might consist of artwork that somehow pass as creepy. Anyway, for your reading pleasure, I give you another assortment of vintage food advertising for your unique tastes.

  1. Kids who eat their veggies might want a Jolly Green Giant rag doll.

Not sure what’s freakier, the girl’s terrifying expression or the 4ft green doll. Let’s just say a kid can do without one of these.

2. Pesci Vivi sells delectable fish.

Though seeing a fish chef cooking fish is kind of unsettling. Look I know fish eat other fish, but still.

3. Children always delight in eating Fig Newtons.

“Thanks, Mom, that’s what I need after a long day at school and drowning puppies in the nearby lake. You’re the best.”

4. Big Otis wants kids to eat Kellogg’s OKs.

Sure he may be a big burly Scotsman. But I’m sure Kellogg’s pulled him as a cereal spokesman once kids asked what he wore under his kilt.

5. With Bisquick, you can make your family this elegant tuna ring.

Sorry, but this dish looks really disgusting. And no, I really don’t want to eat it.

6. Meet your own Frankie Doodle Dandy with Swift’s Premium Franks.

By the way, Frankie Doodle Dandy is what some men named Frank call their penis. Okay, I made that up. But I couldn’t pass that one up.

7. Always eat Possum Sweet Potatoes.

Hate to break it, but possums are disgusting creatures. Seeing a few run over by cars, you’d agree with me.

8. No kid could resist Brach’s toffee.

First of all, Brach’s candy is terrible. Second, I bet the girl’s taking some candy that she’ll spike with poison to give to her friends.

9. Husbands always love anything with Heinz Ketchup on it.

Because Heinz Ketchup makes anything appetizing. Even corned beef, poached eggs, and hash browns.

10. Turn vegetables into a treat with Cheez Whiz.

By the way, it’s probably not real cheese. And it will not do wonders to your veggies nutritional value either.

11. Fry’s Chocolate always tastes so good.

But regardless of expression, that kid terrifies me. And I don’t think chocolate will calm him either.

12. Make your breakfast kid friendly with Wheatabix.

Also fine for snacks and supper, too. Though I hope the girl is sprinkling a spoonful of sugar, instead of arsenic. Though looking at her face, I wouldn’t know. Boy’s kind of creepy, too.

13. Campbell’s beef soup makes a manly dish.

Hearty it may be, but it’s hardly good for your arteries due to a high sodium content. Because Campbell’s Mmmm…mmm…salt.

14. With Pillsbury’s flower, you can make yourself a wagon wheel pie.

Think of it as your mother’s chicken pot pie. But more disgusting and unhealthy.

15. Firestix always lasts 23 minutes and costs 10 cents.

Though she’s supposed to be a wholesome kid. But she always takes her Firestix before going on a killing spree.

16. Don’t want to cook dinner, ladies? Take the family to KFC.

Apparently, Colonel Sanders is incredibly sexist. Thus, he calls his coronary inducing cuisine, “wife-savers.”

17. With Carnation Evaporated Milk, you can make delectable dinners like this.

You have to wonder whether people actually eat stuff like this back in the day. Because that’s a dish that will make you lose your appetite.

18. Sure it may not be very nutritious, but Rastus wants you to try Cream of Wheat.

I can see the racism on this ad as clear as day, especially in the text. But at least you have to admire the guy’s honesty. People will buy anything that’s good to eat and cheap.

19. “Sugar can be the willpower you need to undereat.”

Uh, I wouldn’t say that. But I guarantee too much of it can give you Type 2 Diabetes. Seriously, you might not want to eat ice cream before lunch.

20. As an assistant vice president, it’s your job to make the pudding.

Apparently, Jello doesn’t think women can understand office hierarchies. Also, the sexism is very plain to see.

21. “You don’t have to be Jewish to love Levy’s.”

Sure it may not be incredibly racist. But it’s still pretty bad on certain levels.

22. Always go for the Big Patch vegetables.

However, it seems that this kid’s family only works the farm. And his parents are paid wages so low they can’t afford to buy him a new pair of pants.

23. Ladies, buying canned food shouldn’t be shameful.

Still, canned foods aren’t very good for you since they’re preserved in a salty brine. But even that doesn’t detract the sexism in this ad.

24. With these canned foods, you can always diet with delight.

Not sure about that. But the girl in the can is really freaking me out. She seems like the stuff of nightmares for some reason.

25. Sugar Crips is post marked for happy eating.

Okay, the acrobatic bears might be weird. But I really have a bad feeling about that creepy girl looking at them. They better put on a good show or she’ll make sure they’ll never see the light of day again.

26. Hires’ Rootbeer is so good even the dogs will love it.

But that baby doesn’t seem too happy about that. Of course, hope Sparky enjoys his drink because that baby may have murder on the mind.

27. With Armour Treet, you can make these Johnny cake shortcakes.

I can see the heart attacks these shortcakes can cause. Also, they seem rather unappetizing to me.

28. Nothing keeps you warm like Cadbury’s Cocoa.

But once he’s done, he’ll get right back to torturing the neighbor’s cat. Because that’s what psycho kids do for fun.

29. As Art Linkletter noted, the Jolly Green Giant is a big man with the ladies.

Because women love a large green man who promotes vegetables wearing shoes and a short leaf dress. But at least he doesn’t have rage issues like the Incredible Hulk.

30. It’s always red magic time with Heinz Ketchup.

Oh, no, not the scary tomato guy! Please, take him away before he kills anyone!

31. You can’t have old-fashioned gingerbread without Brer Rabbit Molasses.

I’m sure they got the name Brer Rabbit for molasses from the tar baby story. Want to what happened to Brer Rabbit when he put his hands on one?

32. This Indian brave brings you Dippy Canoes.

Because cultural appropriation knows no bounds. Said to taste like Indian corn. Seriously, this guy’s a culture, not an advertising prop for God’s sake.

33. “Remember your first Baby Ruth?”

She may look excited to eat the candy. But mainly because she took it from the neighbor boy she previously threw down a well.

34. You can’t be beat with St. Louis corned beef.

Yet, having the cows with can bodies and walking upright is just freaky. Seriously, who the hell thought this was a good idea?

35. “Okay, pardner…reach for the Karo!”

For one, this half-naked baby cowboy is just lame. But he’s just as terrifying enough to induce nightmares.

36. Handle your hungry man with a can of Campbell’s soup.

Because nothing says manly eating like eating a soup with a high salt content. Campbells, mmmm….salt.

37. “Good things happen…when the lady of the house has soup for lunch.”

For if she doesn’t have her chicken noodle, she will chase you all over the neighborhood wielding a large cleaver. Because with Campbell’s it’s mmm…salt.

38. Trix is always made for kids.

“Mommy, after I eat my Trix, can I borrow your handgun to hunt down that silly rabbit? He’s been lurking in our yard for ages.”

39. Children will enjoy Stokley’s sugar peas.

For sugar peas always go well with the neighbor’s liver and onions. And I don’t mean the animal kind either.

40. Kids always want Log Cabin maple syrup.

Just watch theses kids look at the syrup on their waffles. Though they’d much prefer their breakfast to have blood of the innocents. But cannibalism is illegal.

41. With G. Washington’s Instant Coffee, even a man can make the perfect cup in 5 seconds.

As if men didn’t know how to make a cup of coffee in the 1950s. I’m sure they did and this ad is very sexist.

42. Treat your man right with Batchelor’s foods.

Yet, calling the guy a “guest husband” just wracks my head. Would a better word be “boyfriend?”

43. With Campell’s mushroom soup, you can make some tuna and waffles.

After all, when you’ve smoked pot all day, you’ll need something to satisfy the munchies. For God’s sake, waffles should only be for breakfast.

44. “Promise you’ll taste the nifty new Ritz!”

Because if you don’t, she’ll take you to her torture dungeon and hold you over a fiery it by your ankles. If you think I’m crazy, ask those who live to tell the tale.

45. Be vital and vigorous with Morrell E-Z Serve liver loaf.

Because nothing makes a family happy like liver. You know the kind of meat everyone ingests like foul tasting cold medicine.

46. Make it a festive party with Libby’s Juice Jamboree.

Though serving juice on a kid’s hat may not be good idea. Basically it’s an accident waiting to happen.

47. Kids dig Welch’s Cocoanut bar.

It’s basically a coconut chocolate bar which is disgusting. Still, if it keeps those kiddies from killing you, it might be worth buying.

48. Hire’s Rootbeer is the great health drink.

Yet, this little one will chase the cat with a knife once he’s done. So you might want to get Friskies in a safe place while you still can.

49. Men always love a raisin pudding pie.

Though he might have to be a sick psycho like this guy. Because raisins are turds made to resemble chocolate chips but aren’t.

50. If your husband yawns at the table, treat him to Heinz tomato soup.

Since when is yawning at the table a problem? Chances are the guy’s just tired after a long, stressful day at work. Not everything a guy does has to do with his wife’s actions.

51. California vegetables are always the aristocrats of the crop.

Because nothing says high class like a villain from a Dickens novel with a monocle and slasher smile. Seriously, I’m wondering if California vegetables used the face of Jack the Ripper in their ad campaigns.

52. You can’t make cakes without Dr. Price’s vanilla extract.

Though if you don’t give the maid her pay raise, she will spike this cake with rat poison. Just ask the last guy she worked for. Oh, wait you can’t.

53. With Might Dog, your pooch always receives the best.

Though Spot always takes his food seriously. Though he thinks wearing a chef’s hat and bib makes him look like a complete idiot.

54. “Are you woman enough to buy a man’s mustard?”

Now that’s a really stupid question. Seriously, why should that even matter? Mustard is mustard.

55. Pastificio S. Bonetti is oozing with prime pasta.

Look, I understand how Italians love their pasta. But I didn’t know they’d love it so much to be caught with it in a compromising position.

56. Kids will always enjoy Van Camp’s pork and beans.

Well, assuming your child is a budding psychokiller. I’m sure little Bobby will go back with setting the cat on fire after he’s done.

57. “Sugar keeps your energy up and your appetite down.”

Sorry, but sugar doesn’t help you lose weight. In fact, it might contribute to obesity, heart disease, and Type II diabetes.

58. Snag a man with Underwood deviled ham sandwiches.

Seriously? The sandwich case? Sorry, but a man can make his own damn sandwich. This is sexist on so many levels.

59. Whitman’s chocolates make a fine Mother’s Day gift.

From Relish: “This advertiser knew exactly how to distinguish Whitman’s chocolates: market the product as a gift your wife will give right back to you.” Bet the guy will get the ones the wife doesn’t like.

60. Get your kids to eat veggies with this Jolly Green Giant foot rug.

From Relish: “Are your kids eating their vegetables? If not, try giving them one of these fuzzy, green foot rugs to make them crave veggies! This unique attempt to make green beans and corn more fun is appreciated, but it is unlikely that a furry rug of a foot will make anything appetizing.”

61. “Nothing says party like a Sara Lee cake!”

From Relish: “Sara Lee knows what’s up—who needs friends when you have chocolate cake? Her face says it all: ‘I’m not going out because I have cake, and lots of it.’ Add sweatpants and Netflix and the party is complete.”

62. Go to the beach with your own Campbell’s can bag.

From Relish: “Nothing about hot Campbell’s soup makes us think about the beach, but that didn’t stop Campbell’s from turning their product into a portable beach bag.” Then again, the ocean is full of salt. And so is Campbell’s soup. Mmmm salt.

63. Velveeta is a full of health from milk.

From Relish: “Let’s get one thing straight—just because a product is made with a beneficial ingredient, does not make it healthy. Velveeta tries its best to be convincing here, but we’re not buying it.”

64. McDonald’s takes care of 55% of your daily protein needs.

However, that doesn’t means a McDonald’s meal is necessarily good for you. Because it isn’t.

65. Even babies enjoy Nestle’s condensed milk.

Because you don’t want to see this little one when she’s angry. Otherwise, she will make you pay with your life.

66. “Wouldn’t I be silly to make it myself?”

Well, considering that Campbell’s soups have high salt contents, then no. Still, I think the woman seems to have murder on the mind.

67. Someone wants another glass of Hires’ Rootbeer.

Don’t look now but I’m sure that baby might prefer to drink the blood of the innocents. But he’ll settle for rootbeer.

68. After the game, boys always relish in the joy of good eating with Van Camp’s pork and beans.

“I whacked the pitcher real good with my bat. He screamed like a little girl as I bludgeoned the living crap out of him. Never had so much fun in my life.”

69. Miss Sunbeam wants you to have some Sunbeam bread.

Because if you don’t, she’ll go into your house and murder you and your family. Sure she may look innocent. But she’s a murderous psychopath who will bring you a slow and painful death.

70. Always use Arm and Hammer baking soda on your delectable treats.

And yet, this one features a scary clown. Best to skip this frightening circus unless you’re into Stephen King. Because the clown could easily murder you.

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Vintage Spirits Advertising of Yesterday (Second Edition)

Alcohol Ads of the 1900s (1)

Disclaimer: This post is not for those under the legal age of 21. Those over 21 please drink responsibly. Thank you. Okay I was just kidding with that one.

Whether you’re getting ready to celebrate the holidays, are trying to cope with the Trump administration, or have a beer with your friends during a big game, chances are you’re probably familiar with alcoholic drinks. Back in the day, our ancestors had somewhat different attitudes to booze depending on what kind of people they were. On one hand, you have temperance people who saw alcohol as terrible since it ruined families and the like. But on the other hand, you have people where alcohol is so integral to their culture that they see no problem with kids drinking beer. Or monks brewing beer in German monasteries like they did at Saint Vincent College. Anyway, it shouldn’t be any surprise why the major beer labels in America are German and from the Midwest. However, though Germans have a high value on beer, it’s not the only alcoholic beverage they drink since we also have German wines such Champagne and Zinfindel. Anyway, many of these vintage ads might echo rather antiquated ideas about our society nor have aged well at any stretch. So for your reading pleasure, I give you another installment of booze ads from yesteryear.

  1. For bowling night, you’d always strike with Pabst Blue Ribbon.

Sure it might seem like a harmless bowling scene. Until you see that everyone in this has blue ribbon appendages. Then it’s just creepy.

2. Budweiser always gives you good times.

Now here’s a rather racist ad. Sure the black guy’s is supposed to be depicted as an eager servant. But looking at his imposing face he appears quite menacing. So I wouldn’t drink any of that beer if I were you.

3. Flirt Vodka can be quite appealing.

Though looking at her bruised knees, I don’t think this ad conveys a good message. Let’s hope she just had a party mishap.

4. Have a merry cherry with Kijafa, a Danish cherry wine.

Yet, the word “cherry” has an R-rated connotation that I can’t really discuss. But notice how that woman has mistletoe in her hand.

5. “‘Sweet’ on whiskey sours? Make your next drink Green River.”

But how he has such humongous hands is another matter. Seriously, they’re like totally out of proportion to his body.

6. Without Schlitz, you can’t have beer.

However, looking at the clown’s eyes, I suggest you give him some Schlitz now. Otherwise, he’ll get angry and kidnap your children.

7. Schlitz: the preeminent beer for clowns.

Sure this clown might be happy now. But once the booze wears off, he won’t be funny in the moonlight.

8. Wolfschmidt Genuine Vodka is in the spirit of the Czar.

Sure vodka is associated with Russia. But Wolfschmidt seems kind of Germanic to me. Then again, Catherine the Great was a German aristocrat and plenty of czars had German ancestry. So it oddly fits.

9. Schlitz, the beer of choice for American cowboys.

Yet, Schlitz is the beer for male bonding after a long day at the ranch. Still, the bottom scene seems kind of like Brokeback Mountain to me.

10. On the slopes, grab a cold Heiney.

Yet, I’m not sure about those Heineken snow suits. One of the women looks kind of embarrassed that people would see her and think she resembles a can.

11. Bacardi Rum is what they serve in Hell.

Still, if you see this guy behind the glasses, you might want to take a drink. For he already seems disappointed in you. Might not want to anger him even further.

12. Anisetta Evangelisti is the perfect liquor for dessert. Just ask this chimp.

However, despite that people think chimps are funny and loveable, they can be quite nasty. Also, why the hell would you want a chimp drink booze?

13. Even King Kong drinks Miller beer.

Though it wouldn’t help him climb the Empire State Building. Or avoid airplanes. Now that I think of it, how could King Kong even grab a beer? That makes no sense.

14. Bacardi is the rum of America’s favorite cocktails.

But would you want a drink with this guy? Sure he might be okay, but the pervy stache doesn’t help matters.

15. Everyone’s calling it on Early Times whiskey.

How old are these baseball players supposed to be? Because I find it hard to think they’re 21 or over.

16. Gordon’s Gin contains medicinal properties.

Actually, Gordon’s or not, gin is the worst thing for your liver. Let’s just say taking it as medicine isn’t the smartest idea.

17. For real morning after relief, drink a Pluto highball.

So this ad states, if you want to relieve a hangover, drink more booze in the morning. Because chances are you’re probably an alcoholic at this point.

18. The secret to a great holiday party is lots of mistletoe and Seagram’s Extra Dry.

So basically, you can’t have a great Christmas party without tons of boozy sex. Not what I’d call drinking responsibly.

19. Pabst beer prepares for the joys of motherhood.

Actually, if you’re pregnant, you better stay away from the booze, especially during the first trimester. Because it puts the developing baby at risk for Fetal Alcohol Syndrome.

20. With a Heineken, even your beer gives you a beer.

Well, this is hard to explain. Someone must’ve been under the influence to come up with this.

21. O-fl Extract Malt always builds people up.

Look, I know kids are cute and cuteness sells. But putting a child next to a bottle of booze isn’t appropriate. Seriously, there’s a reason why the drinking age is 21.

22. Ballantine beer is the preeminent drink for those in horse costumes.

It’s one thing to put a weird horse in your ad. But knowing this horse consists of two guys in a costume is rather disturbing. Seriously, just pick either humans or animals.

23. Nothing makes a riverside picnic like Schlitz beer.

I don’t think the guy trying Schlitz isn’t glowing about the beer in this one. Seems like there’s more going on here.

24. Want to please your man, ladies? Serve him Budweiser.

Because it’s said Budweiser delights more husbands than any beer ever known. Also, his Inner Man craves booze.

25. Dare to be different with Suntory Royal Whiskey.

Though whether it means you should do Kabuki theater, is another question entirely. Yes, it looks badass but it’s part of Japanese culture. Yet, couldn’t they just come up with some other image?

26. Anhauser-Busch’s Malt Nutrine is the preeminent beer for nursing mothers.

Yes, this was back when they considered beer as a health food. But today, these beer companies would never cater their product to nursing moms.

27. Even mounted goats enjoy the taste of Schaefer’s Bock beer.

Let’s just say Dr. Seuss was young and needed the money. But compared to some of his political cartoons, this isn’t too bad.

28. As a velveted whiskey, Imperial is so much fun!

Okay, we all know that polar bears and penguins don’t coexist. But unlike the Coca Cola ads, this provides of good illustration on what a polar bear and penguin co-existence would be like. And so far, it doesn’t look good for the penguin.

29. E.T. likes to remind you to not drink and drive. “Phone home” instead.

Yet, having E.T. work at the bar really ruins your childhood. I mean could you imagine him telling drunks to “phone home” if they had too many? Also, couldn’t Coors use the cast of Cheers instead? At least that show’s about a bar.

30. You can’t beat the mellow taste of Ten High whiskey.

Is it just me or is this woman unnaturally tan? The guy kind of looks rather unsettling, too.

31. A Four Roses Gimlet is 4 parts vodka and 1 part elegance.

However, this woman in here doesn’t seem like she’s really enjoying herself. In fact, she seems like she wants to go home while her significant other doesn’t.

32. Always drink Cossack Vodka for the office party.

I guess this woman is a bit tipsy since she notes how she didn’t recognize Mr. Smithers’ green eyes. Also, what the hell is she wearing? That doesn’t look like office wear to me.

33. “How about a little Schenley, Ruth?”

Ruth, get the hell out of there! The guy doesn’t just want a drink with you. The description here just makes me cringe.

34. “I’d ride a mile for a Smirnoff martini.”

Maybe, but what’s that got to do with a camel in the middle of the road? Besides, couldn’t just drive or ride a bus? Or walk?

35. The Smirnoff Mule is the drink that is.

But if I was that young woman, I’d be wary around Woody Allen. Because we all know he’s a real creep.

36. “He loves my mind. And he drinks Johnny Walker.”

Really? What makes him drinking Johnny Walker so important to you? Other than getting paid for just saying that?

37. Never go on a boat ride without Cinzano.

So is this diver rescuing this woman from a rowboat? Since she seems rather tied up. Then again, that might explain why the two guys are lying on the beach. Still, forget the booze. I want what the woman’s laundry detergent. Seriously, how does she keep her dress so clean?

38. Pernod is perfect for any pool party.

After all, Thing needs a vacation from the Addams Family once in awhile. So let him poor some booze on that woman if he wants to.

39. Champagne de la Jarretiere always brings people together.

Still, I wouldn’t want an old man grabbing at my garter. Sure he might have money, but still..

40. There’s nothing like Quina Marra.

However, I’m not sure why this woman’s having a drink with Mr. Pervo here. Unless she’s planning on getting him to pass out before she clears the premises.

41. You can’t go wrong with Rhum of the Incas.

First, Incas didn’t ride horses. Second, that looks more like a contestant from RuPaul’s Drag Race than anything from a Pre-Columbian culture in South America.

42. It’s always cheery with a Cherry Rocher Liqueur.

Though I’d wonder why this woman’s in a bird costume on a tree. Then again, nobody would be sober in her situation.

43. No man could resist the taste of Birra-Metzger-Torino.

You’d almost think this woman wants the guy she’s with die from liver cirrhosis. Cause from how he’s drinking, he’s most likely not driving the carriage that night.

44. Even great men like Teddy Roosevelt and Abe Lincoln approve of Johnny Walker.

From The Fix: “The hundred-foot visages of Roosevelt and Lincoln on Mount Rushmore—both of them paragons of virtue and wisdom—seem to be telekinetically talking to one another about a President whose face will soon be joining them. Whose face will be carved into the mountain is less important than the fact that they approve of the fact that he drinks Johnny Walker. The ad somehow manages to reduce the enormity of their legacy to something far smaller and silly. “

45. “Whatever you’ve got going…keep it going with J&B.”

Perhaps The Fix might explain this one better: “You can airbrush the 70s, but you can’t airbrush out the era’s creepy overtones. Half of this ad is dedicated to hands cupping what we have to assume is a mistress’s face. At first glance, it’s a fairly simple, innocent image. That’s before you start to peel back the crazy layers of control and illicitness going on. And J&B implores you to be part of every extramarital affair. No judgment. J&B doesn’t care what you do or who you do it with. It just wants to be there.”

46. Guys, always bring some White Horse Whiskey when going to a bachelorette pad.

Because nothing turns on boozy bachelorettes like “good guy” bringing White Horse Whiskey. Then again, perhaps flowers would be more appropriate? Or why not bring a couple of friends with you?

47. Enjoy the great taste of G.A. Jourde Bordeaux.

I’m sure there are plenty of people who feel this way when they drink. Though that doesn’t mean they’ll frolic around grapes.

48. Cordial Topaze is so great, this clown bought in bulk.

Because he’s every bit a creepy clown and an alcoholic. And he feels no shame about it.

49. Old French aristocrats always keep their Champagne stock in check in the middle of the night.

Then again, going down to your wine cellar at night might not be a good thing. Then again, he probably has a lot of parties going on.

50. This waitress always serves Braustube Hurlimann beer.

Looking at her, she knows that serving booze to customers gives her good tips. So the more drunk her customers are the better.

51. Squeeze all you can out of life with Seagram’s.

However, the man here’s worried he might eventually fade into a scene with scuba divers. So he’s not very pleased.

52. You need not be a slave to fashion with Smirnoff.

Though if you wear outfits like these, they might think you’re dressed for a Star Trek convention. Seriously, those have tacky 1960s all over them.

53. Smirnoff sour always has lemons and all that jazz.

Yet, why do they have black and white figures having a better time than the figures on the beach is beyond me. Kind of disturbs me for some reason.

54. Old Hickory Bourbon is simply magnificent.

So when the time is right, you can have a drink with your sweetheart before doing the nasty. From the woman’s eyes, and her pantyhose around his neck, you can guess where this is going.

55. Is it proper to boodle under the mistletoe or before guests arrive?

Guess it depends if you mean drinking Boodles Gin. Though it could just as easily mean sex. Either way, it depends on the party and I’ll leave it at that.

56. A Smirnoff Horse Shot is all you need at a ski lodge.

Still, they don’t just seem like cleaning skis to me. Might want to clear out before this goes any further.

57. A Bitter Pastore Milano is always a treat.

Guy kind of seems like he’s whispering something to the woman. Woman’s listening but would rather be somewhere else right now.

58. Drink a Smirnoff Hot Adam’s Apple while decorating for the holidays.

Though you’d pretty much have to be drunk to dress up that penguin. Then again, it might be a present they’re wrapping and not sure how.

59. Maker’s Mark always has a great body, compared to some guy’s girlfriend.

Talk about a blatantly sexist ad. Seriously, we shouldn’t be comparing women’s bodies to booze.

60. Enjoy the difference with Schlitz.

Though if I was on a date and a guy made that face while serving drinks, I’d get the hell out of there. A night with him could culminate into “Baby It’s Cold Outside.”

61. Working hard in the garage? Pour some Budweiser.

Though I don’t think tools and booze make a good mix. Perhaps that might have to do with how alcohol inhibits mind body coordination. Or something else.

62. Carioca Rum makes every drink sing.

Yet, the guy on the bongos has a crazed look on his face suggesting he’s high. Hope he doesn’t go to close to the fire.

63. It’s always Scotch time with Johnny Walker.

But a guy dressed from the 1800s strutting in front of a bunch of guys in suit, that’s another question. Why they’re not fazed by it, I have no idea.

64. Wolfschmidt’s great for drinking while underwater.

As to why anyone would drink alcohol while scuba diving is beyond me. Seriously, I don’t even think that’s safe.

65. The green demon always goes for Maurin.

Yes, it’s a demonic character with a bottle of booze. And it will give you nightmares.

66. Smirnoff vodka always makes a great gift.

Yet, why have a woman covered in gift wrap just baffles me. Seriously why?

67. They’re always serving Paul Jones.

Okay, this is racist from the get-go and the white guys’ outfits don’t really help matters. Because though it might evoke a plantation setting, we all know who consisted of their labor force. And it’s why plantation weddings don’t have a great reputation.

68. You’ll always get the goats with Iron City Bock Beer.

Sure the goat might seem creepy as hell. So you really don’t want this one to but in while under the influence.

69. For pleasant moments, drink PM whiskey during the game.

After all, why should you worry about these leatherheads getting traumatic brain injuries? Seriously, you think today’s players have concussions? Also, you don’t drink whisky during a game. You drink beer.

70. Even Charles Dickens drank J&B Whiskey.

You know the guy who wrote A Christmas Carol and A Tale of Two Cities? Nevertheless, despite being a literary prowess, he’d desert his family for an 18 year old actress and was a dick to his wife.

Halloween Party Tricks or Treats (But Mostly Treats, Sort of) (Fourth Edition)

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Of course, it’s that time of year again when we make dress into costumes, watch horror movies, and decorate our homes with scary decorations. Not to mention, it’s such a popular holiday that some people look more forward to the end of October than Christmas. Nevertheless, if you’re holding a party at your house, you might want to stay on this blog if you’re willing to withstand the stomach churning, gut wrenching, and unappetizing grub I have on this post. Sure this is the fourth Halloween treat post I’ve done. But each one has featured some disgusting morsels that would scare your appetite. Of course, you might try these terrifying treats on Halloween in order to not displease your horrifying host. But save on the occasional Friday the 13th, you might want to avoid these most of the year, especially Christmas. Well, unless you want to throw a Nightmare Before Christmas party. So for your reading pleasure, feast your eyes on another assortment of some gruesome Halloween grub.

  1. Your guests will get all wrapped up in these mummy Milanos.

But the new Mummy movie with Tom Cruise not so much. Hope you have plenty of white icing for the wraps.

2. People go crawling for some spider macaroons.

Okay, they may not taste like Oreo cookies. But even those afraid of spiders can’t resist these.

3. Instead of a trick or treat bag, how about a trick or treat cake?

Though please unwrap the candy before putting it on the cake. Still, the jack-o-lantern design is adorable.

4. How about you try an eyeball?

Bet these are small candy bites. But yes, you get gruesome food like this on Halloween.

5. Enjoy your Halloween night with some pumpkin hand pies.

And yes, they have jack-o-lantern faces carved in. Though the filling doesn’t exactly look like pumpkin. More like apple.

6. It’s widely said that pumpkin artichoke puke is quite tasty.

I posted a similar puking pumpkin before but it was green. Yet, on the bright side, it goes well with crackers.

7. These spider brownies will make you scream with delight.

Their 8 legs are made from pretzels. While they have large eyes and fangs.

8. No little ghoul could ever resist these Frankencookies.

Well, they’re mostly green and come in all sizes. Though you may not like the gumdrop noses.

9. Refresh yourself at any Halloween party with some shrunken head punch.

The heads are peeled apples by the way. But I can understand why this image would make you puke.

10. These witchy marshmallow pops will put you under a spell.

Each one is dipped in green icing and topped with a cone hat. Not sure what the hat’s made of.

11. Grace your dessert platter with some mummy cookie bits.

All are dipped in white icing with chocolate chip eyes. Has some drizzle to resemble wraps.

12. Send your kid to school with this ghostly lunch.

Has a bunch of ghoulish goodies no child could resist. And yes, the cheese is white and ghostly on that sandwich.

13. Black cat cookies won’t bring you bad luck at your party.

Yes, black cats may look scary. But most of them are just regular cats unlike what the Edgar Allan Poe story.

14. No Halloween party is ever complete without finger breadsticks.

Comes with a cheesy sauce. But these look quite easy to make. Just spice up the tips for the nail.

15. These gingerbread voo doo doll cookies will put you in stitches.

Well, these look quite cute with button eyes and a stitched heart. But if you love Tim Burton movies, these are for you.

16. For a spooky dessert platter, you have to feast on these jack-o-lantern cookies.

Make sure they have pumpkin spice in them. Since such flavor is more appropriate for them. While the notion of a pumpkin spice latte is utterly ridiculous.

17. These eyeball cupcakes is certainly eye-catching.

Each of them contain a lifesaver iris of your choice. But the icing is always white and bloodshot.

18. If you like The Walking Dead, take a bite out of these cookies.

Each of them contains a horrific injury designed to amuse you. Some even have severed attributes. Gory but fun.

19. These ghosts are especially cheesy.

Though they seem quite small to fit on a cracker. Then again, this is a big cracker.

20. Dip your hotdogs in some spider web sauce.

It mostly consists of ketchup and mustard in a spiderweb design. Though the aesthetics don’t look easy.

21. With these cookies, it’s always a trick or treat.

Each one seems to either have chocolate chips or mini M&Ms. Comes in ghost, pumpkin, coffin, and tombstone.

22. For your appetizer platter, this cheesy skull is a scream.

This one has olive eyes and almond slice teeth. Dip goes great with crackers.

23. All eyes are on these monstrous cupcakes.

This one’s eyes are made from licorice with mini marshmallows and mini M&Ms. Still, you might have to put them apart to eat them.

24. These Rice Krispie bars are full of monstrosities.

They basically consist of Rice Krispie treats dipped in icing and sprinkles with eyes on them. Though they’re more cute than scary.

25. On Halloween morning, wake up batty.

These are pancakes shaped as bats. Sure they aren’t black but they’re adorable.

26. Be free to drink your Gatorade from an IV bag.

Bet these were made from a nurse. Comes in 4 different colors. Though I think water will make them more scary looking.

27. These cookies seem especially witchy to me.

Has a green face with black hats. And yes, they’re more adorable than scary.

28. Of course, you might know that some pumpkin hand pies can be used for anything other than dessert.

Though whether it’s savory or dessert depends on the dough composition and filling. These have spinach dip filling and are composed of a savory crust.

29. On Halloween, half moon pies have ghoulish faces.

They’re basically made out of the same stuff the pumpkin pies I previously showed. But their faces are quite eerie.

30. Nobody could resist such nightmarish ghostly fudge.

Yes, stick your teeth in these unearthly delights. Or else, resistance will haunt your appetite.

31. Take a slice out of some flayed face cake.

Okay, that makes me want to puke my guts out. But it’s great for Halloween parties with a slasher horror theme.

32. This graveyard cake always appears well infested.

Yes, I’ve shown quite a few of them in my Halloween treat post. This one is no different. But it includes gummy worms and candy corn.

33. Want to try a chocolate mouse or two?

Yes, we all know they’re considered disgusting vermin that cause diseases. But on Halloween, they’re a delectable spooky treat.

34. A moon cake makes for an especially eerie Halloween night.

Though be sure to decorate it with cookie bats. Otherwise, it’s just a moon cake.

35. Nothing spooks your appetite like some spider cracker sandwiches.

Each one consists of ham in the middle with raisin eyes. Not sure what the legs are made of.

36. These cupcakes are simply monstrous.

Consists of monsters, mummies, pumpkins, and skulls. But they’re more cute than scary.

37. Dip your chip into some nacho pumpkin cheese.

It’s a pumpkin cheeseball covered in Doritos and olives. Has a pickle for a stem.

38. This cupcake could only scare a crow.

Has an ice cream cone as its hat. Though remove the candy corn nose before consumption.

39.  How would like to tear away this jack-o-lantern.

Well, it’s a tear away cupcake cake of a jack-o-lantern. And they all seem like they’re chocolate.

40. There’s something crawling from this cake.

This is a spider cake, obviously. The spiders are plastic and are only used for decorations.

41. Not sure if the ghost is scarier than the tree.

These cupcakes have a ghost in the front. But the tree in the back is quite frightening.

42. You might want to take these sandwiches to the grave.

Not sure what the filling supposed to be. But it has “RIP” in pepper slices.

43. Want to take a bite out of these bagel pizzas under wraps?

Well, these mummy pizzas are covered in cheese. But you’d be crazy not to see these as adorable.

44. Help yourself to some pita pumpkins.

They also seem to come with cheese. Also, is that a tortilla inside?

45. Now this dessert must be a monstrous treat.

Each of the strawberries has fangs. Might want to be careful taking a bite. Well, before the mouths bite you.

46. Might want to take a bite of some ghostly corn bread.

Sure they may not be white ghosts. But they’re great for any haunted dinner.

47. Nothing makes a spooky dinner like some spider pizza.

The spider consists of pepperoni and bacon. Also, contains olive eyes.

48. Grace your dessert platter with this webby cake.

This one has a more intricate design. But add a spider, then you have a webbed cake for any Halloween party.

49. There’s nothing greener on Halloween like a Frankencake.

It’s a Frankenstein cake. More cute than scary though. Mostly because it’s catered to kids.

50. For a Halloween barbecue, you might want a taste of these chilling cheeseburgers.

Each one has a cheese slice of a pumpkin and ghost. Not sure which one I’d want.

51. These iced pretzels make a rather spooky Halloween snack.

Consists of pumpkins, mummies, and monsters. Some of the monsters have chocolate and vanilla eyes.

52. How about a jello eyeball or two?

Okay, that’s pretty disgusting. The blood seems to make it looks worse.

53. For healthier options, perhaps some jello melon brain may suit you.

Well, not sure how much melon is in it. But jello really makes it look incredibly bloody.

54. No dessert can be scarier than an eyeball bite.

Each one is attached to a fork. Because it looks more gruesome that way.

55. This cheesecake comes complete with a chocolate spider web.

This one seems more like a gourmet dessert than the others. But the spider and web give it a Halloween touch.

56. You will certainly be swept away with these witch hat and brooms.

Consists of Oreos with pretzel sticks. Guess the top is made from a Hershey’s kiss.

57. Candy corn buns always go best with a spooky supper.

But you can bet that these are more delicious than the actual candy. Because candy corn isn’t meant for human consumption.

58. Care to try some green fingers?

They’re basically cookies with red nails. But you’d be starved to find them in this cauldron.

59. You can’t do without this cake during the graveyard shift.

This is certainly a chocolate delight with a chocolate fence. Wouldn’t mind a piece of this.

60. Serve your Halloween party guests a dish of eyeball casserole.

Despite its gruesome name, it’s basically taco salad. Those eyeballs mostly consist of olive slices and cheese.

61. This Halloween, feast on some eyeball pasta.

This one has cheese eyes and green pasta. Hope you have an appetite for this.

62. Nothing makes a better Halloween lunch like these pumpkin biscuit sandwiches.

Definitely the kind you’d want on a cold afternoon. Hope they don’t give you the spooks.

63. You’d find something ghostly inside this cake.

I can never understand how you can put cake images in these without mixing the batters. Also has icing and sprinkles on the top.

64. You’d be spiked for this pepperoni head.

This is a likeness of some horror movie villain I don’t know about. I’m sure this will be a hit for slasher horror fans.

65. There’s something slimy about this snake bread.

These two loaves are dyed with red and yellow stripes. But don’t worry, neither are poisonous. So enjoy.

66. Dare to try some deviled eyeball eggs.

They’re also bloodshot and red to incite more fright. Great for any gruesome appetizer platter.

67. Any witch should help herself to some full moon dip.

The chips on here are black and shaped as witches on brooms. One is on top of the dip that’s mostly cheese.

68. Help yourself to a severed hand pie.

Don’t worry, that’s cherry filling not blood. But you have to cut these pies in half upon serving.

69. No Halloween dinner is complete without a pumpkin baked potato.

Is cheesy on the surface with pepper nose and eyes. The mouth is made of bacon.

70. Everyone should slither to this snake cake.

I’ve had this one in my Halloween treat file for years. At least I get to finally use it this time.

71. You might want to be wary of this ghoulish pumpkin pie.

Well, one of the pumpkins is a normal jack-o-lantern. The other will give you nightmares.

72. You’d be scared not to eat these monster cupcakes.

These have different kinds of attributes. Some have multiple eyes and legs.

73. This black cat cheese ball has plenty of room for crackers.

Well, it’s not exactly a black cat. But it does look adorable I wouldn’t want to put that knife in it.

74. How about a jack-o-lantern pizza on a bun?

This one mostly consists of cheese with olive attributes. Though cheddar isn’t exactly pumpkin orange.

75. You’d be dumb to ignore these brain cookies.

Well, these are cookies with brains on top. Delectable with any zombie in need of brains.

76. Pumpkin dip can be especially cheesy.

It’s basically jack-o-lantern nacho dip. Black chips are the eyes and nose. Olives consist of the mouth.

77. No ghastly feast is complete without eyeball bread.

Sure they’re not as disgusting as the other eyeball treats. But the olives are always at the center.

78. Hope you don’t get spooked by a chocolate jack-o-lantern.

Well, it’s a chocolate jack-o-lantern cake. The facial attributes are lined with white chocolate chips.

79. No party guest can ever resist these kitty cupcakes.

Each one of these is covered with sprinkles with candy eyes and ears. So cute that it’s scary.

80. With this cake, the moon is full.

It’s a yellow iced cake that has candy bats. Surely it’s scary but quite simple.

Salute the Red, White, and Blue United States of America with These Patriotic 4th of July Treats (Third Edition)

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Though now is the winter of my discontent as an American citizen, I understand that I must try to keep the patriotic fervor alive as far as the 4th of July is concerned. Celebrating America’s birthday on the 4th of July is supposed to be a festive and uproarious occasion. But since the 2016 Election, the American spirit we associate with Independence Day isn’t with me at the moment. The fact so many people I knew and cared about voted for such an unrespectable man who’s now in the White House was a profound sense of betrayal for me. It has only gotten worse since the House passed the morally indefensible American Healthcare Act and the Senate is trying to pass their healthcare plan in the most undemocratic way possible. Not to mention, the fact so many people seem to stand by and make excuses for Donald Trump no matter what he does, what longstanding rules he breaks, who he hurts, or how his presidency is becoming an utter disaster. For the first time in my life, I feel ashamed for my country as if Trump’s presidential candidacy has led millions of people to abandon our most cherished American values out racism and their own selfish reasons. But anyway, I must continue with my holiday posts though any pride or faith I have in my country is almost shattered. Well, here’s another assortment of 4th of July treats so you can celebrate your barbecue. Enjoy.

  1. This 4th of July, grace your patriotic dessert table with this sparkling cake.

It’s a cake with sparkler candles and red and blue sprinkles. Make sure the sparklers go out before serving.

2. There’s a lot of explosive energy with these cupcakes.

And since it’s the 4th of July, they have red, white, and blue icing. What can be more patriotic than that?

3. Wake up this 4th of July to an American flag waffle.

Contains strawberries, blueberries, and banana. But you may used whipped cream if you want.

4. A red, white, and blue rose iced cake is a patriotic treat.

Well, you have to admire the icing on this one. Cause I’m sure nobody but a cake decorator can pull this off.

5. Let Old Glory wave with these red, white, and blue cupcakes.

Sure it may not resemble the American flag exactly. But the stars and stripes is a hard one to replicate in food.

6. For your dessert platter, may I suggest these Rice Krispie balls?

Each one is iced with red, white, and blue sprinkles. It’s a simple but patriotic treat.

7. Nothing makes a 4th of July barbecue more American than this 7 layer dip.

Now that’s a work of artisanship here. Not sure if I’d want to dip a nacho in this. Might desecrate a sacred image. Though Trump already has.

8. Or you can go with a pepperoni, cheese, and nacho snack platter.

Though the nachos on this one are blue which is weird. Seriously, why do these things exist?

9. Feast your eyes on these star-spangled cupcakes.

This one has striped and star cupcakes. Sure they’re professionally made. But they’re perfect for an Independence Day barbecue.

10. There’s something crackling about this 4th of July cake.

Yes, it looks like a giant cupcake with a firecracker on it. But it’s one of a kind like America.

11. As we all know, it’s whether you bleed red, white, and blue on the inside that counts.

As you can see, you’ll find the colors in this cupcake. May not see it on the outside at first though.

12. No proud patriotic partier can ever resist these red, white, and blue cupcakes.

This one has red, white, and blue filling and star sprinkles. Hope this can satisfy your star-spangled urges.

13. For a fruity treat, may I suggest red, white, and blue jello?

Well, it looks similar to a previous one I showed a couple years back. But this one has more whipped cream and less cherries.

14. For a simple treat, you might want to go with some patriotic pretzel sticks.

Requires pretzel sticks, icing and sprinkles. But make sure the sprinkles are red, white, and blue.

15. Celebrate the 4th of July with some patriotic pudding pops.

Well, they’re quite small compared to popsicles. But at least they make a cool summer treat.

16. Nothing makes a 4th of July party like strawberry and blueberry trifle.

Because, you know red, white, and blue. Though they didn’t include the whipped cream.

17. For a more sweet disposition, I suppose an M&M flag cake can suit your fancy.

Don’t worry, they do have 4th of July M&Ms for this. Yet, once you bake the cake, decorating should be a breeze.

18. Ice cream cookies are always a tasty treat.

Yes, they’re scoop cookies on ice cream cones with red, white, and blue sprinkles. Say what you want, but at least they won’t melt in your hands.

19. Grace your dessert platter this 4th of July with this American flag peanut butter dip dish.

I know it’s for dessert since it’s covered with sprinkles. You don’t use sprinkles in appetizer platters.

20. For a more patriotic cake, may I recommend iced and sprinkled pretzel sticks?

Helps if you have some red, white, and blue sparkler decorations on top. Gives you a more festive atmosphere doesn’t it?

21. Firework cookies are always an explosive delight.

Sure these are made by a professional. But they’d look good on any American flag paper plate.

22. There is no more American treat than some star spangled brownies.

Well, it’s brownies configured into an American flag. But each one has a red, white, or blue star. Such a statement in chocolaty patriotic goodness.

23. No patriot party is complete without a cake to honor the US of A.

Helps that’s it’s 2 tiered and in red, white, and blue. Love the patterns on it.

24. Now this is a cake reeking of American sentiment.

However, we should say that Trump voters seem to have a funny sense of honor. After all, they elected a man who has absolutely none.

25. A loaf of cake should have layers of raspberries and blueberries.

Well, there’s icing in between along with the berries to get that red, white, and blue. I’m sure it’ll be a hit at some fancy patriotic celebration.

26. Top your 4th of July celebration with this Rice Krispie Uncle Sam hat.

Because an Uncle Sam head is far too creepy. Though it doesn’t exactly resemble his outlandish star-spangled hat. But it’ll do.

27. Red, white, and blue meringue cookies always spin for your pleasure.

Not exactly sure what meringue is. But I love the colors on these that I’ll include them in this post.

28. There’s plenty of this star spangled fruit pizza for everyone.

Toppings mostly consist of strawberries, icing, and blueberries. So decorating it shouldn’t be a problem.

29. Or perhaps a star pie may suit you.

Like the previous one, this also consist of strawberries and blueberries. Though something else poses as the filling.

30. This star spangled cake is one showing patriotic love.

This is for a wedding. But I like the star union being draped on it. A very American cake.

31. Nothing makes a quality patriotic snack like red, white, and blue pretzel bites.

You just need pretzels, icing, and 4th of July M&Ms. And you’re all set. Easy.

32. For a more festive and explosive flair, try these Rice Krispie firecrackers for size.

These consist of Rice Krispies, chocolate, licorice, and sprinkles. The rest is just decoration.

33. If you want to please, go with a flag candy bar treat.

Each one is decorated with M&Ms like some of the others on this post. Yet, all these look delicious.

34. For added fluff, try some red, white, and blue marshmallow sticks.

Yes, this is another sugary snack. But Pinterest often shows desserts for holidays anyway.

35. This patriotic cookie cake is great for fireworks celebrations.

Though this is certainly covered in candy. And why do they have white chocolate Kit Kat bars on there? That’s insane.

36. There’s nothing more patriotic at a 4th of July than this American flag pizza.

Yes, they used leafy greens for the blue. But there’s not a lot of blue food around. Still, looks tasty.

37. These red velvet cupcakes make a quality patriotic dessert.

Helps if they have white icing and blueberries on top. Still, these are pretty.

38. Celebrate your 4th of July with these red, white and blue cheesecakes.

Each layer on this is red and white with white icing and blueberries on top. Will sure make your party a hit.

39. For a more sophisticated treat, may I suggest some American flag cheesecake squares?

Each has cherry sauce and blueberries on top. Though I’m not a cheesecake fan, I assure your guests may enjoy these.

40. Hope you can find a slice of Old Glory within this cake.

I showed a similar one years ago. But this one seems to take less layers and stars.

41. You can’t have anything more star spangled at your 4th of July party like these stained glass stars.

Yes, they’re cookies with jello in the center. Not sure how it works. But they look quite tasty.

42. Feast your eyes on this star spangled patriotic pie.

Yes, it’s another American flag pie. But this one is in a neater fashion than a previous one I showed.

43. It’s not a patriotic fruit salad without stars and flags.

Well, if you can’t eke out an American flag on a watermelon, stars will do. The American flags aren’t a bad touch either.

44. Uncle Sam sends his love to the US of A.

Well, that’s a nice cookie image. But you’ll bet it’ll be eaten somehow. Like the flag though.

45. If you want a more healthy option, you might want to go with American flag fruit kabobs.

Includes strawberries, banana slices, and blueberries. Seems like you can do a lot with these 3 fruits.

46. If you like roll cakes, I suppose this red, white, and blue one will suit your fancy.

Sure it may not look remarkable on the outside. But the inside is amazing.

47. With this cake, you can show your love for the US of A.

Yes, it’s a cake of the United States. Yet, you have to love the red icing and blueberries on it.

48. These star-spangled cookies have a flowery disposition.

If you look closely at the stars, you’ll see that the tiny stars are flowers. They may be professionally made but I’ll take them.

49. Fruit tacos can always wake you up for the 4th of July.

Each consists of strawberries, blueberries, and whipped cream wrapped in a pancake. A great combination for a patriotic morning.

50. Wake up this 4th of July morning with some fruity fireworks.

This one also has strawberries and blueberries. Though to be fair, they’re less likely to kill you than the ones at IHOP.

51. Nobody could resist some American flag fruit kabobs with raspberries and marshmallows.

Though the fruit kabobs like these I showed last year were also drizzled. These are not.

52. Well, this American flag cake is certainly cherry.

Never featured an American flag cake with cherries on it before. Maybe because cherries need to get the pits out of them.

53. Hold a toast to America’s birthday with these Rice Krispie shot cups.

I guess these cups are made for adults. Don’t ask me where this Pinterest idea came from. Then again, it might depend on whether the drink has any alcohol.

54. If you think fruit kabobs should have an even distribution of red, white, and blue, these will do nice for you.

Includes strawberries, banana slices, and blueberries. And you can pick up each one on a stick.

55. For fun in the sun, these 4th of July flip flop nutter butter cookies are a tasty treat.

Now that’s an ingenious idea. Love how they each have a pair. So creative.

56. These small fruit kabobs will nicely on a watermelon shell.

Kabobs consist of strawberry, blueberry, and raspberry. And there are 2 American flags to give the platter a patriotic look.

57. This star spangled cookie pizza goes nicely on any 4th of July dessert platter.

Decorated with strawberry stripes and a blackberry union. Though I’m more impressed by the use of blackberries since you often don’t see them on such treats.

58. You’ll always have an explosive night with these firework cookies.

Helps if each one of them has red, white, and blue. Love them.

59. How about a fruit pizza of the Star-Spangled Banner?

Contains raspberries and blueberries on it. But it seems rather easy to decorate once it’s covered in icing.

60. There’s no patriotic platter like an American flag of pretzels.

Each one is dipped in some red, white, or blue chocolate. But only the blue ones have sprinkles.

61. Nothing emphasizes America like a dipped Oreo American flag.

Some of these were dipped in red and white chocolate. Some were dipped in blue chocolate and have stars on them.

62. This star-spangled cake is perfect for any 4th of July barbecue.

It’s blue with stars on the top. And it has red and white stripes on the sides. Makes a great centerpiece on a dessert platter.

63. A patriotic cake should always have a bald eagle on top.

This one was for a 90th birthday. Comes in 3 tiers with stripes on the bottom, stars in the middle, and an eagle on top.

64. You’d almost think these firework cupcakes would explode in your mouth.

I know these are fireworks but they kind of resemble bombs. Though at least they’re red and blue.

65. You can make a 4th of July cake look stunning with candy canes.

Well, candy canes do have red and white stripes. But where are you ever going to find them this time of year?

66. If you like chocolate chip cookies, may I suggest these stars?

Also, has some strawberries and blueberries on top of white icing. From a Nestle Toll House recipe.

67. Nothing entices 4th of July partygoers like shiny red, white, and blue candy apples.

Or should I say red, white, and silver? Then again, these seem professionally made.

68. As we all know red and blue orange slices bring all the fun.

However, there’s a chance they might contain alcohol. So you might want to keep out of reach of those under 21. Or at least until you consult the host.

69. For a more patriotic cheesecake, you might want to add some food coloring.

Well, red and blue coloring anyway. Though this looks absolutely stunning.

70. For a healthy 4th of July, perhaps a Captain America fruit platter may suit you.

Yes, he may not be your favorite Avenger. But he’s a patriotic superhero. So his emblematic shield on a fruit platter goes on this post.

71. Enjoy watching fireworks while chomping down on some patriotic popcorn.

Has some blue and red in it to match the bowl. Not sure how that works out.

72. There’s something fishy about these red, white, and blue goldfish pretzel bites.

Seems like red, white, and blue goldfish crackers exist. Yet, these are quite easy to make as you see.

73. These 4th of July cookies have been well put together.

Well, these are cookies of the USA. Includes some wood panel cookies as well.

74. Check out these star-spangled Oreos on a stick.

Each one is dipped in red and blue chocolate with white stars on them. Still, they must be delicious.

75. If you like frozen treats, you might want some of these patriotic ice cream sandwiches.

Each one has some strawberry and vanilla ice cream between graham crackers as well as blue icing and sprinkles. Great for any hot day.

76. There is nothing more delectable for the 4th of July than some cheesecake stars.

And they’re in red, white, and blue layers, too. Also like the whipped cream and sprinkles.

77. Hope this American flag waffle is brought to your patriotic breakfast.

Well, this is a circular waffle, anyway. But it contains strawberries, blueberries, and whipped cream.

78. Celebrate America’s birthday with these American flag cake pops.

All of them are also covered in white sprinkles. At any rate, enjoy.

79. You can never go wrong with a patriotic fruit platter like this.

This one is mostly made from watermelon. But it sure rings a patriotic show.

80. For  a real American flag pie, perhaps rectangular is best.

The stripe filling is cherry and the stars one is blueberry. But it will certainly serve everyone.

The Picnic World of Pies

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As we all know, summer is the season for picnics and special occasions whether it be graduations, weddings, family reunions, 4th of July, county fairs, local festivals, or what have you. And it goes without saying that many of these occasions feature a table of dessert of some sort like pie. Before he passed away in January, my grandfather was well-known for baking his pies with apple and cherry being his specialty. Still, though usually circular with pastry crust, pies can come in all different flavors from the traditional apple, cherry, and blueberry to even Millie’s chocolate shit pie from The Help. And let’s not get into what’s in Mrs. Lovett’s famous meat pies in Sweeny Todd. Though keep in mind that not all pies are used for dessert either since we have savory pies like chicken pot pie, meat pasties, and others. Then there’s the practice of pie throwing in people’s faces as slapstick comedy which usually involves one with cream. But there’s a recent trend of pieing becoming an act of political protest, though I’d reconsider throwing a cream pie in a politico’s face which can land you in a lot of trouble. Anyway, there are plenty of people who make pies with their own personal touch. So for your reading pleasure I bring you an oven load of unique pies to enjoy.

  1. Hope you find it in your heart to eat this pie.

This one has a crust of hearts, weavings, and flowers. Bet it took a long time to make it.

2. Perhaps it might be best if you enjoy your dessert.

So this isn’t the kind of pie you’d bring at a family reunion. Though I kind of find it funny.

3. Bet you’ve never seen an octopus pie before.

Don’t worry, I don’t think it has actual octopus in it. It’s just the crust. But yes, there are people who do eat octopus.

4. How about a pie with flowers and leaves?

Seems like some people take more time on the crust than others. Not exactly sure what this pie is.

5. For the holidays, try this Christmas crust.

Includes snowmen, snowflakes, Christmas trees, reindeer, and a couple of braids. And yes, it’s probably made by either a professional or someone with too much time on their hands.

6. I suppose this is a grape pie.

Well, it has grapes on the crust. Though the file name has Italian apple tart which is confusing.

7. Now I don’t have the slightest idea how to solve that problem.

It’s not that I’m bad at math. It’s just that I’m not good at solving complex math problems like this.

8. Floral designs always go well on the right crust.

Seems like floral motifs are a common crust motif. But such artistry would take forever to produce for most pies made in the kitchen.

9. I’m sure a stargazy pie may be worth your appetite.

It’s a pie from Cornwall in England. Though to me, the fish heads make the whole thing unappetizing to me.

10. For seaside picnics, a lobster pie will do.

Though it’s more or less a pie with a lobster on it. And no, it doesn’t have lobster in it. Though lobster pies do exist.

11. For a prettier apple pie, may I suggest your apples be roses?

Sure the apple roses are golden brown. But baked apples normally are that color. Got to like the leafed crust, too.

12. Fans of Game of Thrones might adore this Stark pumpkin pie.

Yes, Game of Thrones pies exist. I am not making this up. Though you wouldn’t want to bring this to a wedding.

13. If you want to find the circumference of this pie, this one has all you need.

Yes, it’s a pie with pi on it. Bet it’s used for Pi Day which is March 14 since the first 3 digits are 3.14.

14. A pie in the fall should have a tree with autumn leaves.

Bet this is an apple one given the crust. Though I’ve never seen leaves turn pink during the fall.

15. Speaking of tree pies, I hope this can suit your fancy.

Well, this one is a more elaborate design. Includes leaves on the edge as well as crusted fruit.

16. If you like roses, then you might like a bouquet of them in pastry dough.

Well, considering the detail, pastry roses must take long to make. But they’re nevertheless pretty.

17. For winter days, treat yourself to a nice, warm snowflake pie.

Though I have to admit, the crust was probably made with a snowflake mold. Or by a professional. Not sure which.

18. I suppose this is a chicken pot pie of some sort.

Well, it seems to be a chick in a pie. How else could I tell? Still, it’s kind of sick if you think about it too hard.

19. Help yourself to a slice of some flowery blueberry.

Guess flowers are a common crust motif. Still, it’s not bad to look at.

20. Leaves and berries make a fine pumpkin pie crust.

Bet this is for Thanksgiving since it has autumn motifs on it. Not sure what I think about the berries.

21. Make sure you use all the dough for a flowery crust.

After all, a floral crust is always sweet, especially in the spring and summer. Love the flower holes.

22. Perhaps you prefer your pie braided.

Guess this is another fall pie. Though the braids seem to give it a rustic touch.

23. Speaking of braids, this one comes with waves.

Yes, I understand braids are easy in dough. But this one makes it seem like an art form.

24. This strawberry rhubarb pie can use some flowers and leaves.

Well, you can’t hate the floral touches on this. But I’m sure you wouldn’t be making some of these pies in the kitchen.

25. This strawberry pie was made with nothing but love.

Because it has hearts all over it as you see. Then again, it was probably made for Valentine’s Day.

26. This crust is giving me butterflies.

Hey, it’s not always about hearts, flowers, and leaves, you know. But I kind of wish the butterflies had more color to them.

27. How about a knitted crust to keep your filling nice and warm?

Yes, this is a knitted crust, all right. How someone managed to achieve this, I’ll never know.

28. Seems like this ship is headed toward dangerous waters.

Hmm.. a pirate ship and a sea monster pie. Very interesting. Not something I’d think of serving at a family reunion.

29. This apple pie’s flowery crust is full of vivid color.

Hey, not all floral pies can have plain dough on them. Love the colors. So pretty.

30. For a dark night, you can’t get better than a pie like this.

Because we all know that Alfred has to make Bruce his special pie after a night beating the crap out of the Joker. Wonder what his recipe is.

31. Care for a Venn piagram?

Nor sure where I can get a pan like that. But at least this can serve more people than a regular pie. Just ask whether someone wants cherry or blueberry.

32. Hope you enjoy this new Apple iPie.

It’s a new concept in apple pie technology. With its rounded square crust, it’s a great marvel of the 21st century.

33. With this pie, you might want to have some peace.

As you can see it’s a peace sign with flowers and doves. And in Colorado, it might have a secret ingredient that gives you the munchies.

34. Care for a pie with an ivy crust?

It’s a strawberry one. But it sure shows more filling than some of the others.

35. I suppose a blackberry pie should come with a tree.

Then again, it might be vine with flowers. Apparently, this baker had too much time on their hands.

36. Making a crust like this should be easy as pie.

However, I’d beg to differ. But it’s suppose to kind of imply a pun, no less.

37. Perhaps you might have an easy time weaving your crust to keep in the filling.

Well, it certainly looks easier than some of the others. But sometimes weaving can be a pain in the ass.

38. If you can’t say something nice, say it with pie.

Though I wouldn’t go with a cherry filling if I made a pie like that. Might want go by Millie’s recipe.

39. An autumn pie should have leaves of many colors.

Yet, here each one of them is covered in sugar. Not sure if it improves the taste.

40. Apparently, a pie can also have Pac Man fever.

Yes, this is a Pac-Man pie. Sure it’s not completely round. But that’s kind of the point.

41. Something tells me that this is a rectangular apple pie.

Mostly because of what it says on the crust. That’s kind of a dead giveaway.

42. With a crust like this, this pie smells as fresh as a daisy.

Well, it has a daisy crust, anyway. Then again, there are a lot of flowers look like that.

43. For a tree crust, there has to be a lot of leaves.

Well, you’d probably have never seen a pie like this. Love the leaves on the branches.

44. Would you like your pie to be a little bit on the Dark Side?

Though judging from this one, it’s only a matter of time when it’s fully operational. Also, the heart doesn’t make this cherry pie really clashes with the Dark Side vibe.

45. If you’re into Lovecraftian delights, may I suggest a Cthulhu pie?

That way, I’m sure your fellow cultists will be impressed during your summer picnic. Enjoy.

46. It’s not Thanksgiving unless you have a cornucopia on a pumpkin pie.

Well, that’s certainly the ultimate Thanksgiving pie. Hate to slice it up and destroy it.

47. Speaking of pumpkin pies, this one might as well feed a whole town.

Yes, that’s a big pie which most likely required a massive oven. Not sure how they’ll cut that up.

48. You’d swear this Hellboy pie came from the fiery depths.

Too bad Hellboy wasn’t from either DC or Marvel. Or I would’ve featured him in related post last year.

49. This bank robber pie is surely worth a steal.

Actually I’m not sure what that’s supposed to be. In fact, it kind of reminds me of Walter White. But he doesn’t wear that hat.

50. Don’t forget to add sails to this pierate ship.

Still, the sails are only decoration. But I’m sure this will get you all hands on deck.

51. When in doubt, try a bacon crust.

Sure it might be good for your tastebuds. But it’s also bad for arteries.

52. When it’s pizza night at the Vatican, His Holiness goes for a different kind of pie.

By the way, this was from a New York pizzeria when Pope Francis came to the US in 2015. And I say, the guy did a great job.

53. Hope you can’t eat this Millennium Falcon pie in less than 12 parsecs.

Make sure you can Chewie your food. Almost resembles an exact replica of the ship.

54. These Hello Kitty hand pies are great for the road.

Well, it’s said everything is smaller in Japan. But these are adorable.

55. Now you’d almost want to hang this pie design on a wall.

This is a mutton pie design. Nevertheless, is a true work of art.

56. If you want a fiery impression, try a pie depicting a fire breathing dragon.

Even has some cheese and bacon on top. Yes, pies can look pretty awesome.

57. For a more beach picnic, this sea monster on ship pie is perfect.

Though you only see the sea monster’s tentacles. Then again, living on a wooden ship isn’t as glamorous as they make it out to be in the movies.

58. I’m sure you’ll be hooting for a pie like this.

Has a couple of owls on a perch. One is green and one is purple. So cute.

59. If you like Super Mario Brothers, you’ll like this mushroom pie.

Well, it’s not exactly Mario and Luigi. But I’m sure geeks will adore it.

60. There’s something ghostly about this pie.

Well, this is a great pie for Halloween. Though the ghost is nowhere near scary.

61. Never thought I’d see a centaur with a rainbow mane and tail.

Even has rainbows around the crust. But the centaur stands proud and tall.

62. Ewww, are those fingers?

Don’t worry, the fingers aren’t real. So the only one who should be disappointed is Dr. Hannibal Lecter.

63. With this pumpkin pie, you can track pi to hundreds of place.

Yes, the value of pi is certainly infinite. But don’t take my word for it. Just look around the crust.

64. A pierate always has to have a black crust.

Instead of a skull and cross bones, this one has a pie with crossed cutlery. Pretty clever if you think about it.

65. For a painted pie, this seems to have springly mood.

I think this is for Easter from what I can tell from the colors. But this is sure a very pretty picture.

66. Seems like there was a only room for a few pi digits on this crust.

Guess it has to do with the size of the numbers. But it’s certainly a mathematical blueberry.

67. Of course, you can have the pi constant iced.

Caption: “We celebrated Pi Day 24 hours late 😦 As the roll of the cosmic dice would have it, March 14 (3.14) is also Einstein’s birthday.
What’s not to love about that?”

68. A crust with swans is perfect for a summer night.

Well, swans are seen as graceful and romantic birds. But the pie sure is pretty.

69. Seems like this pie is a real enabler.

Of course, any crust would want you to eat more pie. Still, like how it has a fork.

70. Sometimes it all comes down to either live free or pie hard.

After all, you can’t serve a pie like this unless you have explosions everywhere. Like on the 4th of July.

71. How about a woven pie with braids?

Well, if you want braids and a weave, why not go with both? Then again, you can do worse.

72. For all you science types, does a Tesla pie suit you?

Even has Tesla with his death ray. About time the noted inventor receives his own pie tribute.

73. James Bond stars in his new movie Piefinger.

Well, a chocolate Oreo cream is perfect for this 007 tribute. Almost looks like the real theme.

74. Set phasers to blackberry and sugar rocks.

Because you can’t beat a pie going where no pie has gone before. Though I wouldn’t want to eat a Klingnon steak and kidney.

75. Hope this pie can bring a smile on your face.

Well, it’s a pie with a smiley face. Guaranteed to bring you joy on your saddest days. Then again, it might bring joy without the smile.

76. With strawberries and cherries, perhaps you might want to try some pinwheels.

If you added some blueberries, it would be perfect for the 4th of July. Still, the pinwheels are cute.

77. If you love pie, then you’ll adore this one of hearts.

I’m sure you can’t help but love these hearts on a cherry pie. So pretty.

78. This crust seems a bit leafy if you ask me.

Though I think it can do with a few flowers. But this doesn’t seem to look that bad among blueberries.

79. You can’t celebrate Pi Day without a pizza like this.

Helps if it’s in pepperoni. Though if you want to know how much you want to put on just multiply pi x radius x 2.

80. For playing D&D, I suppose you need a pie like this.

It’s a pie of a D&D dice. Yes, it appears difficult to make. But it’s said to take a top level wizard chef.

81. How about some flowers for your strawberry pie?

Well, it’s not what you’d see on a summer picnic. But it’s a lovely work of art.

82. With this apple pie, you’ll find a rose inside.

And as I said with the last rose apple pie, it’s golden brown. Though many might think it’s fit to put on a table.

83. If you’re Minnesota Vikings fan, you can’t beat a pie like this.

It has a Minnesota Vikings logo with a background of berries. I’m sure fans will eat it up.

84. With a pumpkin pie like this, you’d just want to gobble it up.

Even has a turkey on it. Perfect for a Thanksgiving dessert platter your family will treasure.

85. A snowflake pie will be just your taste for cold, snowy days.

Well, there are a few of these. But it seems more doable than the previous one I showed.

86. So I guess this is a cherry pie.

It says “Mon Cherry” a play on the French phrase “mon cherie.” And it even has cherries on it.

87. The fact pi is infinite is a textbook case.

And here is a textbook pie of pi. There’s even a layered crust to drive the point.

88. As we all know that a flag pie is as a American as well, pie.

It’s a cherry and blueberry pie. Though it doesn’t contain apples, it’s still quite American nonetheless.

89. A cherry Christmas pie should always have stenciled holly.

Sure nobody would have a pie like this on their Christmas table. But it sure looks lovely to behold.

90. An American pie like this is perfect for a patriotic picnic.

This one depicts a flag and the words, “God Bless America.” Around the edge you’d find part of a crown of thorns and a couple roses.

91. Heard of honey pie? How about a honey comb pie?

Even has a bee on it. So quaint and adorable in its own way.

92. A Thanksgiving berry pie should be one of turkeys and acorns.

Because if there are turkeys and acorns, it has to be for Thanksgiving. Though the filling doesn’t have to be pumpkin.

93. If they can’t have cake, then let them eat pie.

Well, you can say that for some people. Of course, whenever Agent J says, “You need pie,” he doesn’t just mean pie.

94. For some it’s either bros before hos or chicks before dicks. But for this person, it’s a different story entirely.

Someone must really like pie. Though if I was into piemakers, I’d go with the nice looking one who wakes the dead.

95. What’s better on a pumpkin pie than an actual pumpkin on it?

By the way, the pumpkin in the pumpkin pie isn’t really pumpkin. It’s butternut squash. Sorry.

96. There’s something batty about this pie.

Well, it has bats all over the apple filling. And they’re covered in yellow and purple sugar.

97. For this baker, pie is love.

As far as the person who made this is concerned. Like the hearts and doves.

98. On this blueberry pie, pi runs in so many places.

Well, it has pie numbers on the crust. Yes, Pi Day is a thing.

99. Nobody could resist a pie of BB8.

As anyone knows, BB8 is the droid from The Force Awakens. Yet, he’s so adorable.

100. For some, it seems to be eat pie, love.

It’s a play on a book called Eat, Pray, Love. But for some people, pie is a big part of their lives.

Green Eggs and Hamtastic Dr. Seuss Treats

Roast Beast

Aside from Green Eggs and Ham, Dr. Seuss doesn’t really get into food as much as some of the fantastical stuff in his books. Though there is The Battle Butter Book where the Yooks and the Zooks engage in an arms race over a disagreement on buttering one’s bread. Yes, it sounds silly but the ending is truly dark and disturbing since it escalated to nukes. Then there’s also a book about making the best scrambled eggs with the eggs coming from various exotic birds. Oh, and the fact the Grinch steals the roast beast along with other forms of Who food including the last can of Who hash. Nevertheless, when you look on Pinterest, you’d find so many Dr. Seuss treats for themed parties. Of course, these are mostly for kids. Yet, many of them can be quite whimsical nonetheless. So for your reading pleasure, I give you an assortment of Dr. Seuss treats.

  1. Dr. Seuss cake pops should always come in spectacular patterns.

Yes, these are certainly in great Seussical patterns in red, white, and light blue. But they won’t be the only ones you’ll see on this post.

2. The best kind of Dr. Seuss cake has green eggs and ham on top.

This is for a baby’s first birthday party. But it comes with  its own set of cupcakes.

3. You’ll be amazed to find what’s in this Truffula cake.

Indeed, it has plenty of pastel layers inside. Though the Truffulas on it hardly look impressive.

4. You don’t need a special occasion to eat a slice of bread with the Cat in the Hat.

After all, it contains the iconic red and white stripe hat. Also, is in a rather crazy design.

5. Perhaps a Cat in the Hat fruit salad platter can entice you.

Mostly consist of strawberry and banana slices. Yet, makes for a healthy snack for a kid’s party.

6. Hope you have a heart for these Grinch Oreo cookie treats.

Sure the heart might be small. And these are more suited for Christmas. But the Grinch is an iconic character in the Seuss canon.

7. There’s nothing more unforgettable than a cake featuring Thing 1 and Thing 2.

Another first birthday cake in 3 tiers. Still, it’s a bit more festive and Seusslike than the first one.

8. This Lorax lunch will satisfy anyone who speaks for the trees.

Includes a Lorax sandwhich and some Truffula tree treets. Contains a side of broccoli.

9. No child could resist this lunch from the Cat in the Hat.

Yet, the hat seems to be quite small for his head. Yet, the sandwich is certainly in his likeness.

10. No dessert platter is complete without this whimsical Dr. Seuss cake.

Contains imagery from the Lorax, the Cat in the Hat, One Fish, Two Fish, Red Fish, Blue Fish, and Oh, the Places You’ll Go. So cute.

11. There’s something fishy about these cupcakes.

Most of these contain one fish. Some have two. Some of these are red. And some of these are blue.

12. For healthier options, check out these Cat in the Hat fruit snacks.

Sure they may contain marshmallow heads with his face. But the hats consist of strawberry and banana.

13. With this cake, think of all the places you’ll go.

Funny how this cake is based on a kid’s book given to graduates. Still, you have to love the colors.

14. Cotton candy makes great tuffs for Truffula trees.

Yet, remember that cotton candy mostly consist of sugar. But you can easily see why they’re great for Truffula trees.

15. If you like Green Eggs and Ham and the Cat in the Hat, then check out this cake.

Even has a long fork into the green ham at the top. Also love the striped hat underneath it.

16. For a hot lunch, you can’t go wrong with a Lorax quesadilla.

Nice that it has some cheesy eyes and a mustache of cheddar. And though it’s not orange, it greatly resembles him.

17. A Lorax pizza can certainly make anyone’s day.

Contains olive eyes and a cheddar mustache. And it’s quite small as you see it next to a spoon.

18. If you liked the Bar-ba-loots, I suppose you’ll take to these snacks.

Funny how they don’t seem to have stuff pertaining to the Humming Fish and the Swamee Swans. Still, these consist of chocolate teddy bear crackers and mini marshmallows.

19. For healthier options, this Lorax lunch is a real treat.

Contains fruit and veggie Truffula trees. Yet, the Lorax here is extra cheesy.

20. These Dr. Seuss cupcakes can’t be beat on any dessert platter.

Includes toppers from the Lorax, Cat in the Hat, Green Eggs and Ham, Oh, the Places You’ll Go, and One Fish, Two Fish, Red Fish, Blue Fish. Some of them even have quotes, too.

21. If you’re into the zany, this Dr. Seuss cake will certainly suit you.

Depicts many of your old favorites as you can see. Also, has some crazy decor on the top.

22. If you like Green Eggs and Ham, then you’ll love this bento lunch.

Okay, I think there might be green egg candies and dyed ham. But at least it’s among orange rice.

23. Speaking of Green Eggs and Ham, how about these cupcakes?

These are green velvet cupcakes with green and white icing on them. Still, wonder what the ham cake looks like with these.

24. Nothing makes a great Dr. Seuss birthday party like Cat in the Hat pizza.

Sure it mainly consists of pepperoni. But its perfect for any Dr. Seuss occasion.

25. I’m positive anyone will eat this Green Eggs and Ham cake.

Yes, it’s a cake consisting of green eggs and ham for someone’s birthday. Nevertheless, it almost resembles the illustration.

26. These Sneetch Oreo truffle bites are hard to resist.

Some of these contain two stars. Others just one. But each is special in its own way.

27. If you want healthy snacks, you can’t go wrong with a fruity Thing 1 and Thing 2.

These are mainly comprised of banana, strawberries, and blueberries. And they’re both held together by toothpicks.

28. Seems like the Cat in the Hat wants to wish someone a happy birthday.

Yes, it’s probably from a high end bakery. But you can’t help but love it. So adorable.

29. Bet you can’t guess which Dr. Seuss book comes with these cupcakes.

Let me guess, the Lorax, the Cat in the Hat, Yertle the Turtle, Green Eggs and Ham, the Sneetches, and the Batle Butter Book. Still, the one on the far right is trick.

30. These Cat in the Hat cupcakes will surely suit your Seussical fancy.

The hats here consist of red icing and marshmallows. Yet, all make a fantastical Seuss treat.

31. Get a load of these fishy cookies.

Yes, these are from One Fish, Two Fish, Red Fish, Blue Fish. And they couldn’t use a blue fish since Swedish fish were involved.

32. This Dr. Seuss bento lunch will satisfy any child’s taste.

Yes, another Seuss bento lunch. But at least it has a little more Cat in the Hat.

33. This Cat in the Hat cake is almost by the book.

Well, it’s a cake of the book. But it’s surely an iconic one in the Seuss canon.

34. How about some Truffula tree cake pops on a stick?

Well, Truffula cake pops are surely appropriate for a Lorax themed party. And these sticks are even made to resemble the trunks.

35. Surely anyone would want a Dr. Seuss cake well-stacked.

Okay, this is considerably overboard. But it’s oddly fitting considering Dr. Seuss’s illustrations.

36. These cupcakes make the best Sneetch treats.

As in the book, some of these have green stars. And some have no stars at all.

37. What in the hell are these cupcake things?

Okay, these cupcakes are supposed to imitate Thing 1 and Thing 2. The cotton candy gives the impression of their blue hair.

38. There’s something very grinchy about these cupcakes.

Well, these are Grinch cupcakes. And each has a grinchy face as well as a heart 3 sizes too small.

39. Hope you have a taste for this Cat in the Hat sandwich.

Yes, he certainly looks spiffy. Love what they did with the hat. So adorable.

40. For your Grinchy Christmas celebrations, may I suggest this cake?

Depicts the Grinch in a Santa hat. And yes, he’s bent on stealing Christmas since he’s fed up with holiday consumerism.

41. Nothing welcomes a new fish in your family like this Dr. Seuss cake.

So I guess there are Dr. Seuss themed baby showers. Well, makes sense. But this cake probably has a steep price.

42. Any child who’s read One Fish, Two Fish, Red Fish, Blue Fish will find this lunch a real treat.

Yes, this is certainly a fishy lunch. Even has a fish sandwich and fish crackers.

43. If you love Oh, the Places You’ll Go, you’ll adore these Dr. Seuss cookies.

Yes, these may be professionally made. But they greatly resemble the book’s illustrations.

44. This Lorax lunch can surely speak for the trees.

Mostly consist of the Lorax sandwich with him in cheese. At any rate, it’s an almost exact likeness.

45. These cheese trees make great party appetizer platters.

By the way, the cheese trees are from Fox in Socks. I know it’s kind of insane.

46. This Lorax cake has a forest of Truffula trees.

And here we have the Lorax on a stump who speaks for them. Too bad the Once-ler didn’t listen.

47. There’s so much to love about this Cat in the Hat cake.

This one is for another first birthday. And yes, it’s almost like you’d see in a Dr. Seuss illustration.

48. This Cat in the Hat muffin tin lunch has almost everything a kid could want.

Well, it certainly includes 6 courses on it. Even a cup of red and white stripes.

49. These Lorax cupcakes will surely make your party a hit.

Consists of the Lorax, Truffula trees, and the Bar-ba-loots. Great for any Lorax themed party.

50. There’s nothing greener to eat than this Green Eggs and Ham lunch.

Well, except a Saint Patrick’s Day lunch of course. But you get the idea here.

51. Green Eggs and Ham cookies will please anyone willing to try them.

Well, they’re small cookies of green eggs and ham. Yet, each is professionally iced in its own way.

52. For appetizers, you can’t go wrong with these Cat in the Hat snacks.

These consist of cherry tomatoes and cheese stacked on Ritz crackers. Toothpicks required which goes without saying.

53. Of course, this would be a perfect cake for Dr. Seuss.

After all, it’s in the form of a book. Also consists of the Cat in the Hat’s hat and green eggs and ham.

54. Nothing makes a kid jump with glee than these Horton marshmallow treats.

These are from Horton Hatches an Egg since it contains a nest. Still, these are cute and fluffy.

55. I’m sure no Dr. Seuss fan can resist these cookies.

Well, they certainly consist of many people’s favorites. Though they’re definitely professionally made.

56. Wake up in the morning with some fruity Cat in the Hat toast.

Also, contains some whipped cream. Part of a complete Dr. Seuss breakfast.

57. These Grinch cupcakes will bring you loads of Christmas joy.

Unlike the other Grinch cupcakes, these have Santa hats on them. But each have a smile and yellow eyes.

58. This Cat in the Hat cake has 3 things on the top.

Guess this is for a kid’s 3rd birthday. Nevertheless, it’s as Seussical as can be.

59. How about some ham for your green deviled egg?

Goes without saying these are from Green Eggs and Ham. Though the ham isn’t green and is much smaller.

60. Which cupcake do you want? Truffula tree or Lorax?

Yes, the Lorax cupcakes all look the same. And the Truffula trees have different colors on them. But can’t the two be able to coexist?

61. This Dr. Seuss cake seems to have some interesting candles.

Then again, they may be made from icing. But at least this one contains many of your favorites.

62. This Dr. Seuss cake seems like it can fall down any minute.

Yes, these cakes can be quite elaborate and rather expensive. But in Dr. Seuss treat post, you can’t leave them out.

63. A Grinch cake can bring you endless joy for the Christmas season.

This one has a house with the Grinch on Mt. Crumpit. I know it’s kind of pretty but also has a whimsical touch.

64. These green egg cookies will surely make a fine addition to an Dr. Seuss dessert platter.

And these don’t seem very difficult to decorate at all. Since green and white icing is all you need.

65. This Lorax snack seems particularly fruity.

The Lorax is made of canned fruit. And he has a Truffula tree with a pretzel trunk beside him.

66. You can’t have a Dr. Seuss party without a Cat in the Hat cake.

This one is a more 3-dimensional model. But it certainly works with the book decor it’s on.

67. Nothing makes kids excited for reading like a Cat in the Hat pizza.

Yes, it’s another Cat in the Hat pizza. But this one has a more curvy look to it.

68. If you liked the Cat in the Hat Comes Back, you might enjoy this cake.

After all, it’s the one where the Cat in the Hat crashes the kids’ home again and eats cake in a tub. Of course, he leaves a pink ring in it.

69. Here’s another cake showing the whimsical world of Dr. Seuss.

Yes, I know I have a lot of cakes on here. But each of them is spectacular as can be.

70. This Lorax cake really speaks for the trees.

This one has the Lorax on top and the Truffula Forest on the bottom. So pretty.

71. If you’re expecting a couple of little tings, you might want to go with this cake.

Even has Thing 1 and Thing 2 onesies. Also like how it’s surrounded by blue cupcakes.

72. As we should remember, a cupcake’s a cupcake no matter how small.

As you can see, these are from Horton Hears a Who!. And each contains a pink clover.

73. For breakfast will it be Cat in the Hat or Green Eggs and Ham?

Yet, I’d have to remind you that the Cat in the Hat one contains more calories. Just so you know.

74. Peanut cookies make great Loraxes.

Now these seem pretty easy. Just decorate them with eyes and a yellow mustache and you’re good to go.

75. A Dr. Seuss lunch should always have a couple of things.

Well, Thing 1 and Thing 2 anyway. But at any rate, this is adorable.

76. For hot summer days, you might want to try a Cat in the Hat ice cream treat.

Comes with a cone for the hat and pretzels for whiskers. Perfect for a Dr. Seuss kind of day.

77. Or perhaps you’d want some Cat in the Hat marshmallow treats.

These consist of marshmallows and fruit roll-ups. And they certainly have the Seussical charm.

78. If you want to keep it simple, this is the Cat in the Hat lunch for you.

Just consists of a fish in a bowl sandwich and Cat in the Hat apple slices. What more can you want?

79. This Dr. Seuss lunch has a little bit from his most famous books.

You see a bit of Cat in the Hat, Green Eggs and Ham, Horton Hears a Who, and the Lorax. There might be a few others as well.

80. Lorax pretzels make a quality Dr. Seuss snack.

Each of these consists of a waffle pretzel decorated with icing to resemble the Lorax. Simple as that.

81. Dr. Seuss pasta should always have zany colors.

Helps if you use blue alfredo sauce, too. Resembles something you’d eat at a Whoville restaurant.

82. Truffula cookies should be served on a stick.

Yes, these are professionally made. But like Truffula trees, they come in a vast array of colors.

83. These Cat in the Hat treats will satisfy any Dr. Seuss dessert enthusiast.

Consists of icing, Oreos, and lifesavers. Pretty simple to assemble a kid can do it.

84. Green egg pretzel bites are a perfect Dr. Seuss snack.

Just consists of icing, waffle pretzels, and green M&Ms. So you should have no trouble making them.

85. With a pear, you can make your own Sneetch treat.

And it almost resembles the illustration. Nevertheless, this is kind of neat.

86. No Dr. Seuss party should ever go without a green eggs and ham appetizer platter.

Well, they’re green deviled eggs with ham slices. But the ham isn’t green.

87. In these Oh, the Places You’ll Go cupcakes contain plenty of surprises.

These are full of sprinkles as you can see. They also have layers upon layers of colors consisting of cake.

88. For a healthy Dr. Seuss lunch, say hello to a grinchy sandwich.

Also has a green egg and apple slices for sides. But yes, you’d want to eat the Grinch sandwich, would you?

89. Now help yourself to some literal green eggs and ham.

Yet, unlike the book, the ham isn’t green. Yet, the eggs are thanks to the magic of food coloring.

90. If you don’t like green eggs and ham alone, these pesto bacon cups will suit you fine.

Still, they might have a lot of grease on them. Yet, they’d be quite gourmet for a Dr. Seuss breakfast.

91. Check out these fishy cookies.

These are straight out of One Fish, Two Fish, Red Fish, Blue Fish. And unlike the last bunch, they’re at least the right colors and shapes.

92. You can’t have a Lorax party without a pizza that speaks for the cheese.

Toppings consists of cheese, peppers, and olives. But certainly bears a resemblance to the old Lorax himself.

93. Which do you want fish or hats?

I know these are professionally made. But you can’t help but love them.

94. This Lorax bento lunch is perfect for hikes in the Truffula forest.

That is until the Once-ler comes around and decimates it for his thneeds. Again, I can’t say what they’re used for.

95. Perhaps a more colorful Lorax bento would suit you.

Well, this makes bento box into an art form. Consists of Truffula trees, the Lorax, Bar-ba-loots, Swamee Swans, and “Unless.”

96. For more greens, go with a Grinchy veggie tray.

Though I’d insist, it’s more appropriate for the holidays. Since he’s from a Christmas story.

97. Fans of Oh, the Places You’ll Go would want to have this veggie tray.

This one has a whole variety of veggies cut in different ways. Perfect for any Dr. Seuss party.

98. You can eat this bento lunch here. You can eat it there. You can even eat it anywhere.

Yes, this is from Green Eggs and Ham. And it even has green hard-boiled eggs to boot.

99. For a colorful cake, may I suggest Oh, the Places You’ll Go.

Because let’s face it, the Lorax isn’t a very happy story. Also, you might like some of the cake pops on this. So cute.

100. And finally, the veggies are stacked on this Yertle the Turtle bento lunch.

However, I have to remind you that Yertle the Turtle is an allegory on fascism. And the turtle stacking had more to do with enhancing Yertle’s own ego.

The Culinary World of Kitchen Things

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Look in any kitchen and you’re bound to find an array of pots, pans, dishes, utensils, and other appliances kept in the cupboards. Of course, many of these exist for making various different kinds of food. Yes, I know cooking can be so complicated sometimes. But tune in to TV and you’ll find at least someone advertising the latest kitchen gadget to make preparing food easier. Same goes when you shop at a store. Nevertheless, whenever you need some kitchen gear, it’s best that you shop for stuff that can be used on as many kinds of food as possible. Or on food you cook the most. Because all that kitchen stuff takes up cupboard space as well as have to be washed. And some of that crap may just not be dishwasher safe. Still, among all those essential kitchen tools, gadgets, and appliances, you’ll come to some contraptions that seem to stand out. Some may be weird gadgets that might make your life easier. Some of them may look utterly ridiculous. And some may have a kind of novelty feel to them. But that’s where I come in. So for your reading pleasure, I give you a glimpse into the culinary world of kitchen crap. Enjoy.

  1. Keep track of your eggs with this egg minder.

This is an egg tray that syncs to your smart phone to tell you how many eggs you have and when they’re going bad. However, with this you’ll never be scrambled over your eggs again.

2. Why use a knife when you have the one-click butter cutter?

Just stick the butter in this contraption, press it over your bread, and you’re done. Easy.

3. With this toaster, you can now get your breakfast in one place.

This toaster is equipped with 4 slots and 2 sets of fryers for egg and ham. Now you don’t have to go between the toaster and stove.

4. Pasta knuckles can determine how much spaghetti you’ll need.

Yes, now you can use knuckles to measure pasta. However, these won’t help you in a fight.

5. There’s a Nessie in my soup.

This Loch Ness Monster soup ladle will create an unforgettable impression. And it even has feet to stand on.

6. In the future, even your liquid measuring cup will eventually go digital.

Includes a digital display to let you know how much is in it. Still, I hope this is waterproof so you can wash it.

7. A taco truck holder is a must for Taco Tuesday.

Now you don’t have to worry about falling tacos again. Though they’re likely to fall apart when you eat them.

8. Portion control pasta baskets only lets you cook with what you need.

Comes in a set of 4. Great for those who can’t seem to agree what kind of pasta to eat. Seriously, pasta is pasta. No matter its shape, its composition is always the same.

9. With this handle you can now pour milk straight from the carton.

Though buying milk by the gallon jug makes much more sense. Besides, they already have handles.

10. These clip on can drainers help get the water out of the can.

Such an amazingly simple device. Though it sometimes looks rather silly. Still, it’s probably essential for some.

11. A clip-on spoon rest will always come in handy.

Just put the clip on the pot and use it to hold your spoon, spatula, or other utensil. Available in many different colors.

12. With this corn scraper, you can have those kernels straight from the cob.

Though most of the time, eating the corn off the cob is preferable. Still, great if you have kids.

13. Never angst about removing strawberry stems and leaves with this huller.

Yeah, I know what it kind of looks like. But it is what it is. And in bright red, too.

14. A double dough rolling pin consists of two rollers for the price of one.

So how are we supposed to roll dough with this. At least a regular rolling pin has handles.

15. Making veggie pasta is always easy with this slicer cone.