Goal Worthy Soccer Fans from the FIFA World Cup

WIN_20180615_10_04_57_Pro

Okay, I know the Men’s US Soccer Team won’t be in Russia since they didn’t qualify. But Women’s US Soccer Team will qualify for theirs since they win the World Cup in their tournament almost every time.

This week marked the beginning for the 21st FIFA World Cup hosted by Russia which had rights since 2010 that was way before all the collusion, cheating, and human rights abuses. Since my country the United States didn’t qualify, this isn’t a huge deal outside diehard American soccer fans. But since its founding in 1930, the World Cup has been the most prestigious soccer tournament in the world as well as the most widely viewed and followed sporting event in the world, even exceeding the Olympic Games. So it’s a very huge deal. And since it’s so widely watched around the world as soccer is one of the most popular sports, you’re granted to see plenty of crazy fans since a lot of countries take the sport very seriously like you have no idea. I mean have you ever heard of soccer hooligans? They exist. You also hear all kinds of crazy stories in soccer violence that make you scratch your head. And they thought American football fans were insane. Anyway, while most of my readers are American, there are plenty of viewers from other countries. So any post I do for the World Cup is mostly for them. Now for your reading pleasure, I give you an assortment of crazy soccer fans and their elaborate costumes worth blowing your vuvuzela over. Enjoy.

  1. Don’t worry, Russia’s soccer fans aren’t that crazy.

Well, this guy seems friendly though he might just like large grandiose hats. Hope the other fans are all right.

2. Look out, here comes the Swiss cow brigade.

They have plush cows on their hats. And they’re even wearing shirts for Team Switzerland. Odd since I thought they’re supposed to remain neutral.

3. You can tell this soccer fan is a proud Mexican.

Since he has the image from his national flag. But he’s also showing what his country will do to its rivals in the tournament. Cue the eagle killing a snake.

4. The Russians are up and ready to rumble.

They’re all wearing armor and headdress. Though I highly doubt that the war bonnet is part of their culture. Still, they look pretty awesome.

5. Sometimes you just have to send in the shamans.

This guy is from Ghana, by the way. And I think he might be doing a ritual from his culture though I doubt it. But you never know.

6. These Japanese fans are absolutely psyched for the World Cup.

Here they’re wearing pins of the World Cup trophy. Not sure why Japanese fans would wear these outfits.

7. Ladies, may I give you some delectable soccer fans from Greece.

As you can guess these nice-looking guys are dressed up as their country’s most famous dish. You know, Greek yogurt.

8. Bet you’ve never seen a Swedish woman like her.

Okay, that’s a guy. But he’s nonetheless wearing a horned helmet with braids.

9. It’s time for the Chinese fans to get the large drums out.

Well, they may not be as crazy as the others. But they seem like they’re performing a ritual with these large drums.

10. This Brazilian is all covered in flags.

You’ll see more Brazilian fans in this post. Since soccer is absolutely huge there. And yes, this costume is ridiculous.

11. Can’t cheer for the World Cup without Christ the Redeemer.

Well, the World Cup was held in Brazil that Year. Nonetheless, this guy has a rather interesting hat.

12. You’d almost think this American soccer fan is out of this world.

Too bad he won’t be in Russia. Since the US Men’s team didn’t make it. But he rocks in blue hair.

13. Here comes the Honduran Mayan king and his court.

They all have painted faces. Yet, the guy on the far left has a funky headdress.

14. Never thought I’d see a Colombian elephant before.

Okay, this isn’t the best fan costume I’ve seen. Yet, kind of has a combination of both pathetic and terrifying.

15. If you’re from Pakistan, get a load of this hat.

Yes, he’s wearing his country on his costume. Because he cares so much about his team to look this ridiculous.

16. A Dutchman always dreams of a World Cup win.

For some reason, there are a lot of crazy Dutch fans at international sporting events. And yes, he’s wearing large glasses, a pimp hat, and an orange Hulk hand.

17. In the Netherlands, it’s not over until the fat barmaid sings.

Sure she might seem straight out of Wagner if she wore a horned Viking helmet. But this Dutch lady goes for the orange.

18. The Japanese blue frog salutes the team.

Didn’t know what this guy’s significance is. Still, wouldn’t want to run into whoever they are.

19. Seems like Dutch Air brought in a whole flight crew.

Actually they’re just fans dressed as a flight crew so their team lands on a win. But compared with other outrageous Dutch costumes, this is low key.

20. Apparently, George S. Patton has decided to show up.

God only knows what Patton would say in a World Cup soccer match. Still, you can see where the look came from.

21. Apparently, the French fans decided to dress like Vikings.

I think they’re based on Asterix cartoons, which are reputedly popular there. But don’t ask me.

22. Irish World Cup fans always go for the green.

These guys paint themselves green and wear Irish flag wigs. And yes, they’re ready to rumble.

23. Want to see a couple of Argentinian zebras make out?

I don’t get the zebra thing since Argentina is in South America. But the guy seems a bit taken aback here.

24. This Ivory Coast fan can always make an impression.

You know he’s on stilts since no guy can be that tall. But he knows how to draw a large crowd.

25. Apparently, this Brazilian warlock has decided to take a picture.

Because giving children nightmares should get in the way of enjoying a soccer game. And yes, he’s wearing that outfit for Halloween.

26. These leprechauns are urging Team Ireland make it.

However, while these Irish may dress as leprechauns doesn’t mean Americans should do so. Because they find depictions of leprechauns outside their country very offensive.

27. Seems like this Brazilian has his beard really tied.

Not sure how this guy deals with the discomfort. Then again, he’s only wearing his beard for the tournament.

28. You can’t misidentify these all-American women.

I’ve heard the idea of wrapping oneself in an American flag. But painting akin to one just takes the cake for me.

29. Check out the glasses on this Danish guy.

Yes, he’s wearing soccer glasses. Because he has Danish soccer on his mind. Not sure if he’s eating a Danish.

30. This Dutch bear has high hopes for the World cup.

I’m sure he’s in an orange bear costume with the World Cup trophy. Not sure about the significance of that.

31. You might not want to mess with this masked Japanese fan.

Yes, that mask is creepy. Though I have to admit it goes well with the hat.

32. A Brazilian lady must have a big bow at the World Cup.

And yes, the bow is green with yellow polka dots. She even ahs 2014 glasses, too.

33. Wonder who’s in the Ghana box.

Apparently, a fan who’s just as mystified. Still, I wonder how that person got out of that after the tournament.

34. These Japanese fans are looking quite blue lately.

I mean their faces are painted blue and have blue hair to match. However, they seem quite excited seeing their team play.

35. This Swiss man always loves to blow his horn.

He’s brought his trumpet and funky hat. And yes, it has 2 bright Swiss balloons.

36. An Australian fan can’t go without an antler kangaroo?

Okay, that’s pretty weird. And I see the guy wearing a mask as if he doesn’t want an embarrassment.

37. Sometimes you just have to spread your wings.

There’s one guy from Colombia whose costume is so elaborate, people just have to pose with him. And no, I don’t think he can fly.

38. With these French fans, it’s all for one and one for all.

Since they’re dresses as the Three Musketeers. With feather hats from the 17th century and all.

39. These German women are hopping mad.

What’s the deal with the bunny ears? I don’t understand it since they seem quite ridiculous.

40. This Brazilian soccer fan debuts in his new flag suit.

He even has striped tights, big glasses, and a funky hat to match. Let’s give it for this guy.

41. Best you don’t get this German devil lady angry.

Fortunately for her, the German team won in Brazil in 2014. Yet, she has braids matching the flag colors.

42. A Brazilian woman can’t show up without a tall feather hat.

Well, Brazil is known for its colorful pageantry, especially in Rio. Yet, at least her headdress sparkles.

43. What the hell are those weird Dutch guys in Mohawks doing here?

Don’t ask me. I have no idea why they have these muscled guys here. Must be a Dutch thing.

44. An Aztec Emperor should always wear the most elaborate headdress.

If his team doesn’t do well in the World Cup, then he will have his priests rip the players’ hearts out. Nonetheless, he’s also a fan of tacos.

45. Looks like this Roman soldiers gung ho for Team Italy.

By the way, Italy didn’t make it in this year’s World Cup either. So you won’t see this Roman gladiator anytime soon in Russia.

46. You’ll get a big hand from this Australian.

Helps if he’s wearing a wide hat and a flag cape. But the large hand stands out.

47. You’d be pressed not to be endeared with these Icelandic Vikings.

Indeed, Vikings never wore horned helmets. But that doesn’t stop these guys from cheering and singing.

48. Best you beware of the dreaded Colombian Tiger.

Okay, he’s more like a carefree guy with a flamboyant headdress. Love the feathers.

49. Speaking of headdresses, the Italians get theirs on.

Sure I don’t think they have anyone in the culture wear these outlandish hats. But they’re nonetheless colorful.

50. You can tell these Germans are here for the soccer.

Since they’re wearing soccer ball suits. And I’m sure they’re both filled with a lot of air.

51. Mexico is really on a Chile pickle.

Okay, this fan is wearing a Mexico pickle hat. Still, it’s kind of hilarious no matter how you look at it.

52. Ladies and gentlemen, I give you Spanish Zorro.

He’s in one of those body suits with a hat and mask. But he’s all for his Spanish team.

53. This man wears a horned helmet for Team India.

Just when did the Vikings visit India? Because I never heard about that in the history books. Still, he carries the look with dignity.

54. These American guys show up to the World Cup in their star-spangled silk robes.

Well, Americans have always treasured their penchant for comfy clothes. But these guys seem to take this at a whole new level.

55. Perhaps the Dutchman would like to bang the drum.

Yes, I know he’ll probably offend Native Americans looking at this with his feather headdress war bonnet. But at least he’s not in his home country in early December.

56. A World Cup victory can always make anyone feel like a king.

Well, he’s German fan who’s probably overjoyed in Brazil. Still, got to like his royal red robes.

57. Captain America is a man on a mission.

Okay, he’s not the Captain America. But he nonetheless has the iconic shield along with the stars and stripes on his suit.

58. This South Korean likes a good cigar now and then.

Kind of reminds me of an anime character. And chances are, he probably is. Though he’s from South Korea.

59. Only the Dutch would wear wigs of orange foam.

Their funky wigs even have flags of the Netherlands on them. And yes, the Dutch seem to go all out.

60. Sometimes it’s best you don’t mess with Mexicans in elaborate headdresses.

Not sure if he’s Mayan or Aztec. But he won’t be happy if his team loses. Still, his headdress rocks.

61. Darth Vader seems to be on the Argentinian side of the Force.

Since he believes that winning the World Cup is Argentina’s destiny. Else, he’ll force choke them.

62. Didn’t know that Pope Francis was at the World Cup with his fellow Argentinians.

Okay, Pope Francis wasn’t there. It’s just a guy in a mask of him. But I’m sure he’d like the tribute since he’s an avid soccer fan.

63. This Italian warrior is ready for the soccer challenge.

And he’s clad in blue armor to show it. Hope he’s lucky that he’s not the attraction in the gladiatorial games.

64. You don’t know nothing about the elusive Mask.

However, he’s here for Team Brazil. Nonetheless, this is a fitting costume in regards to the color scheme on the Brazilian flag.

65. She’s got two sombreros and not much to cover.

And you can see them conveniently placed over her boobs. Oh, and she has fringes, too.

66. At the World Cup, you can’t beat the zeal of the Orange General.

He’s a Dutch superfan. And yes, he’s clad in orange, a terrible color to wear in combat.

67. Heard of cheeseheads? Well, here are the Swiss cheeseheads.

You can see they got this idea from Green Bay Wisconsin. And they gave the notion a unique touch for the World Cup.

68. I give you Watermelon Man.

Here he is posing for a selfie. Has a quite pleasant face if you ask me.

69. Apparently, Russian fans like seeing their players ride dragons.

One has a hydra. The other has a red dragon. But both look quite formidable and whimsical.

70. This American fan is so badass, he even has his own dinosaur hand.

I’m sure Hollywood is working on a movie based on him as we speak. Because he certainly has the action movie look to him.

71. Without the orange you’d think these two came from Las Vegas.

Well, the Dutch never disappoint with their outrageous fans. Though I like the feather headdress.

72. Even hombres can rock in sombreros and Mexican dresses.

You have to admit these dresses are very colorful. And that these men rock in them.

73. Who’s supposed to be the creepy head among the Argentinians?

Maybe it’s one of the players. But it’s the stuff of nightmares nonetheless.

74. This Colombian fan knows how to impress.

This was all the way from 1990. And he’s dressed like a bird carrying 2 flags.

75. Seems like this lady likes to dress in the Union Jack.

She’s there to support her English soccer team. Also, this is from 1970, by the way.

76. These women from Uruguay have some unique choices in headwear.

It’s to imitate the sun emblazoned on their flag. And yes, they certainly stun.

77. Behold, the majestic feathered eagle warrior.

This fan has his arms outstretched in feathered wings. Like the Aztec warriors of pre-Columbian history.

78. Check out that horned creature all the way from Ecuador.

Sure this guy has his arms outstretched. Yet, you can’t help but keep your eyes on him and his strange head.

79. Apparently, Bert and Ernie are rooting for Team Germany.

Though Bert and Ernie are actually American characters from Sesame Street. Guess they have an international following.

80. Might want to watch out for those clowns from Ecuador.

One of them is the Joker from the Dark Knight. You know what destruction he’s capable of. Why so serious?

81. You can’t see anything more regal than these English lions.

Well, the lion has a special place in English iconography. Though they have crosses on their faces to show.

82. Seems like these Italian pilots have landed.

Each is dressed in a flag color. And they’re wearing old timey pilot hats to match.

83. The Eggman always knows how to make an entrance.

He’s a South African superfan with a huge headdress decked with eggs. Wonder how he manages to keep it on his head.

84. It’s not just humans who get swept up in World Cup excitement.

This basset hound is dressed in Brazil’s colors and wears a fro. And it seems quite attentive to the game in the stands.

85. You don’t want to see this Mexican when he’s angry.

But the Hulk certainly knows how to don a red sombrero. But please, don’t make him mad.

86. This Dutchman comes with his own veggies.

He’s even wearing a hat with carrots and a radish. So he won’t go hungry.

87. A Portuguese superhero must know how to rock a scarf and mustache.

Well, a superhero has to stand tall even at a soccer game. And yes, he has Portuguese flag insignia where the Superman logo would be.

88. Mexican Superman would never miss a soccer match for his country.

But keep in mind his main nemesis is Donald Trump. Because the guy’s a full-blown narcissistic sociopath and white supremacist.

89. Looks like one Mexican came to the World Cup on a donkey.

Don’t worry the donkey is part of the costume. Yet, you wonder how many seats he’ll take up in the stands.

90. During American games, you can never have too many Elvis impersonators.

Indeed, Elvis Presley is an American treasure. That’s why you have these fans in sequins to watch a US soccer match.

91. These English knights are up and ready for battle at the World Cup.

A few of them even have their faces painted. Still, wouldn’t want to wear all that mail in June.

92. These fans from South Africa know how to support their team.

Yes, South African fans can dress in crazy costumes, too. Though the one in the large glasses takes the cake.

93. It’s during the World Cup when some Ecuadorian fans don elaborate masks.

Not sure about the cultural significance of these outfits. Must be a Pre-Columbian thing.

94. You’d almost think these Americans have heads full of corn.

Well, our country grows and consumes a lot of it. So it’s only fair if you ask me.

95. Wonder what’s with the pot on his head.

As you can see, this guy is from Ghana. But his pot seems like it’s filling with smoke.

96. Man, this Brazilian has large, uh, soccer balls.

Yeah, I know what some of you are thinking. Still, Brazil is a big place for soccer as it’s always been.

97. All Mexicans at the World Cup, hail your Emperor Montezuma.

Well, he certainly has the outfit nailed. Still, best not to make him mad or he’ll give you a nice drink of water.

98. This American woman always wraps herself in a flag.

She even has a sign for Hope Solo. Though she’s not exactly America’s sweetheart if you ask me.

99. My fellow Americans, say hello to President Theodore Goalsevelt.

He’s a superfan who’s dressed like Theodore Roosevelt. But he’s more into soccer than big game hunting.

100. A big head of hair always requires a large comb.

And you can see that with this Brazilian fan who seems like a used car salesman from Las Vegas. Still, like his large glasses.

Advertisements

Celebrate the Stars and Stripes Forever with These Star Spangled 4th of July Craft Projects (Third Edition)

4th-of-july-outdoor-home

Now we’re on to crafts. You might see with my opening pictures that the 4th of July is often celebrated outdoors with picnics, barbecues, and fireworks. After all, it takes place during the summer. And in some places of America, you’re bound to find towns holding parades and cities staging events like regattas if they’re near a body of water. So it’s only a given you’d see stores across the US brimming with American flag decorations in red, white, and blue galore. Yet, some people might prefer some DIY stuff they can make their own. So for your reading pleasure, I give you another assortment of ingenious and fanfare worthy crafts for the 4th of July.

  1. A few flags in your flower patch makes a great centerpiece.

Yet, I’m not sure if the flowers are real or fake. But they go well with the stripes.

2. Don’t want to ruin an American flag? Use a wooden panel instead.

Sure it may not have all the stars and stripes. But our flag is very complicated to replicate.

3. Plant your flowers in these patriotic pots.

Each one has a unique design in red, white, and blue. So feel free to plant your all-American zinnias.

4. Got some cardboard toilet paper and paper towel rolls? Make fireworks out of them.

Make sure they’re all in patriotic red, white, and blue patterns. Also, that they have tops to make them look bursting.

5. Show your love for American with this folksy hanging.

This one has the American flag in the shape of a heart. Ideal for rustic settings.

6. Make your front door star-spangled with this red, white, and blue bauble wreath.

Seems like they have these for every occasion. But this one sure is shiny.

7. Curl up on cool summer nights with this American flag quilt.

Yes, it’s all crumpled up on a couch. But you can see some of the flags and stars on the patchwork.

8. Don your hair with these watermelon clips.

As you see, they’re in red, white, and blue instead of green, pink, and black. Because it’s for a patriotic occasion.

9. This dresser is in the spirit of 1776.

Since it depicts the Betsy Ross flag. Though Betsy Ross didn’t design it since that story was made up by her grandchildren.

10. Red, white, and blue baubles can make any home festive.

These baubles are in glass jars for a display. And yes, they’re quite star-spangled.

11. There’s nothing patriotic on 4th of July like wearing a red, white, and blue tie-dye shirt.

Sure it’s not in a stars or stripes pattern. But it’s quite groovy nonetheless.

12. Show the spirit of 1776 with this American flag tutu.

Of course, this is for a young girl. But it made out of red, white, and blue tulle and ribbons.

13. Grace your front door this 4th of July with this decomesh wreath.

This one has an American flag star and ribbons. So stunning for any door.

14. Feel free to show your love for God and country.

Yes, it’s quite rustic. But at least this one seems to have 50 stars as dots.

15. Dress up your baby this Independence Day in this patriotic onesie.

Yes, the blue in this is a handprint. But it’s quite adorable, don’t you think?

16. Any little all-American girl would love this flag skirt.

Yes, this is from the back with a red bow. But what little girl in the US wouldn’t want this?

17. Rest your head on this American flag pillow.

This one consists of interesting stripes if you ask me. But it makes a great decoration.

18. Nobody can resist these star-spangled centerpieces.

Each of these boxes holds a bouquet of white and blue flowers. And they’re all on red stars.

19. Got empty shotgun shells? Make an American flag out of them.

Perfect if you’re an NRA member and don’t want to give up your AR-15s so kids can go to school without getting shot. But that’s just me.

20. This patriotic cone is filled with all-American goodness.

Consists of a teddy bear and fireworks on the top. Great for any quality all-American home.

21. Kick back and relax in these 4th of July lawn chairs.

These consist of images depicting the Statue of Liberty, fireworks, and a flag. And all in red, white, and blue.

22. For a more festive fanfare, try this American flag rag wreath.

Yes, it kind of looks messy. But it’s rather fit for any homespun American home.

23. Tell time from anywhere in the US with this large American flag clock.

Indeed, this wooden clock is quite huge if you ask me. But you have to admire the craftsmanship. Though you might not want to buy it.

24. A patriotic flower basket should always include a few pinwheels.

As long as they are in American flag patterns, of course. Still, love the red and white flowers.

25. Perhaps an American flag yarn wreath might suit you.

This one has red and white stripes along a blue portion with stars. Perfect for any patriotic front door.

26. Don’t like wreaths? How about a red star in frame?

The frame is laced with American flag patterned ribbon. And yes, it seems easy to make.

27. Let the flag shine bright with these star-spangled jars.

Just put these flags on the jars, use candles, and you’re done. And yes, they do shine quite bright.

28. This American flag panel lets the eagle soar.

Okay, this panel is quite artistically brilliant. Bet it fetches a high price on Etsy.

29. Let freedom shine with this rustic American lantern.

I know it doesn’t have a light inside. But its American flag decor make it worthwhile to put on this post.

30. Perhaps you might prefer a flowery American wreath.

This one consists of red, white, and blue flowers. Includes a red star and ribbons.

31. Got an old window pane? Make an American flag out of it.

Okay, this one uses about 2 panels instead of 6. Yet, you have to admire it in any room.

32. Celebrate the nation with this wooden panel.

Depicts the United States in the American flag. And on a finely varnish wooden board, too.

33. Some may prefer celebrating America in all caps.

Well, bottle caps anyway. Because many of the Stanley Cup winning Washington Capitals are Canadian.

34. Grace your 4th of July table with this flowery wreath.

Yes, some of the flowers may not seem blue. But the wreath appears to make a fine centerpiece.

35. Show your love for America with this wooden patriotic stand.

This one has wooden blocks depicting American sentiments. And each in red, white, or blue.

36. This star-spangled banner is a real patchwork.

This one consists of red, white, and blue squares in different patterns. But it resembles the American flag nonetheless.

37. Make sure you have your stars in a row.

These are decorated in ribbons and other decorations. And yes, they’re in red, white, and blue.

38. A burlap wreath can never have enough American flags.

Indeed, they have to be small. But this goes well on any American front door since it’s quite stunning.

39. Speaking of burlap, some might prefer a patriotic wreath like this.

One side is blue with stars. The other has red and white stripes. And there’s a bow in the middle.

40. Care for a wreath of Dixie cups.

Well, this is a perfect barbecue and picnic decoration. Yet, I wonder how they can find white and blue ones.

41. You can’t celebrate the 4th of July without dear old Uncle Sam.

This one is made of wood with a rag beard. Kind of resembles Santa Claus with a fancy top hat.

42. Hope you don’t light these fireworks.

Because all of these are made out of wood and string. Yet, each one has stars and red ends. Please don’t light them up.

43. Lounge around in your star-spangled lawn chair.

This is painted like the grand old flag. Though it does have a worn out look about it.

44. Feel free to support the USA with this mailbox decoration.

This mostly consist of wooden letters and blue decomesh. Still, how do you manage to decorate a mailbox? Most people don’t bother.

45. Let your patriotic pansies grow in this flower box.

This one just consists of a pallet box painted like an American flag. But it’s perfect for plants.

46. If it’s not Christmas, it’s a patriotic American tree.

Though there are some who do celebrate Christmas in July. Still, this one has all the trimmings and decorations you can think of. Yet, it’s mostly made from cotton balls.

47. Make your 4th of July festive with this star-spangled wreath.

This one seems like an elaborate fireworks show. Yet, I love the large star the best.

48. Make your picnic a blast with these sand filled candle holders.

And yes, they use red, white, and blue sand. So you can make your barbecue all so festive.

49. Ever saw an American flag folded like this?

Okay, I’m don’t think it’s a real American flag. But it sure looks great on the mantle.

50. A star-spangled flower tin can use a few American flags.

After all, this tin has a Betsy Ross design painted on it. So it can use a few flags.

51. Got an old lawn chair? Make an American flag of it.

Though it has to be a certain type of lawn chair. Though this is quite amazing.

52. Make your home stun with this festive 4th of July hanging.

Includes an American flag, ribbons, Uncle Sam hat and other decor. But it’s quite lovely.

53. Ever heard of star trees?

These are red, white, and blue trees with stars all over them. And yes, they’re all in pots.

54. Hope these cloth stars shine bright.

Both of these are made of felt on sticks. Yet, only one is against a doily of lace.

55. This American wreath is all composed of balls.

I’m sure these are mostly either styrofoam and ping pong ones. Yet, I love the stars here.

56. These garden wind decorations blow red, white, and blue.

This one has blue with stars on top and red and white stripes on the bottom. Perfect for a garden tunnel like this.

57. This patriotic wreath is all decked in red, white, and blue.

Consists of baubles, stars, ribbons, and other decorations. Best to use if you plan to shoot fireworks.

58. You can’t go wrong with a wooden Uncle Sam hat.

Has red and white stripes on top. Consists of dotted blue on the brim. And it’s touched with a star and ribbons.

59. With these cans, you can light up the night.

Designs include USA, fireworks, and a star. And all are in red, white. and blue.

60. Show your patriotism with this pin of Old Glory.

This mostly consist of safety pins and beads. So feel free to let the flag fly.

61. Let freedom ring with this 4th of July wreath.

After all, “Freedom Is Not Free” as this wreath says.” Decorated with flags and stars, by the way.

62. You can always light up in this Uncle Sam hat.

Includes some American flags. One of which has a star cut out. Perfect for a table at a barbecue.

63. Make sure the red, white, and blue blocks have stars on them.

And the stars can’t match the blocks in color. Though I like how they used string to tie each one pairing together.

64. A patriotic princess just has to have a billowing red, white, and blue dress.

The dress is mostly made out of tulle with red, white, and blue. But it’s nonetheless adorable.

65. Perhaps this patriotic panel might suit you.

Yes, it’s an interesting piece. Sure it doesn’t resemble the flag. But I don’t mind.

66. Make sure your apothecary jars say, “USA.”

Well, each one has a letter on it with a burlap bow. Perfect for any American home.

67. Sometimes it helps if you wrap a flag around a wreath of straw.

Well, it’s quite a stunning sight to have at one’s front door. Still, love the bow.

68. Then again, your little princess might prefer a striped dress.

The stripes are in zigzag. And the blue consists of dots than stripes.

69. Set your drinks down on this American flag coffee table.

Well, it’s quite rustic looking. But it’s finely varnished with the painted surface. Love it.

70. Rest your ass on this star-spangled bench.

This one consists of red stripes and white stripes along with a blue square. Words inscribed are “My country tis of Thee.”

71. Relax on your deck in these American flag lawn chairs.

By the way, we have a matching pallet set. And yes, they sure do rock.

72. You might like the stars on this wooden flag panel.

Indeed it doesn’t have the stripes and stars as the flag. But the stars are slightly raised for effect.

73. Sometimes you can do with a bit of fencing.

This one has some fence with decorations. Includes an American flag star and blue lantern.

74. Get an Uncle Sam hat bursting with stars.

The stars on these are golden as they sit on similarly golden berries. But it’s a grand patriotic display for a table.

75. Maritime folk might prefer this American flag anchor.

It’s a curl decoration. Yet, you have to love the creative ingenuity on it.

76. Impress your guests with this wood curl American flag wreath.

I know it seems quite feathery. Yet, the wood on this appears quite delicate if you ask me.

77. A 4th of July wreath should brim with flowers.

Though I have a few flower wreaths on this post, they’re not quite vibrant as this. Includes a bow near the bottom.

78. A 4th of July wreath should include a star-spangled star.

Consists of flowers and a large star with stars on it. Also like the American flag ribbon.

79. Make your home more homespun with this American flag milk can and bucket.

Granted these are just for show. But they will certainly go well with the homestead.

80. Keep all your Americana in this Uncle Sam pouch.

Includes an American flag, fireworks, and a bald eagle. Also his hat states “1776.”

81. Stick your American flags in this spindle post.

It’s just a high column painted black. But be free to put as many flags as you want.

82. Grow your flowers in this American flag teacup flower pot.

Yes, it may appear quite small. But these flowers look lovely inside it.

83. Perhaps you might want to drape a flag over an old ladder.

Includes a candle and sunflower, too. Wouldn’t mind having this at my house.

84. Don’t like wreaths? Try a red, white, or blue star.

Each one of these is painted in the colors of Old Glory. Nonetheless, they’re quite beautiful.

85. Feel free to sit on this American flag stool.

Well, it’s a bar stool. Though despite how it’s frowned upon to sit on the flag, this stool was made for sitting.

86. Perhaps you might want 3 stars in one.

They’re all made of sticks and in red, white, and blue. Not sure if I’d want that in my house.

87. Hope you’d like to hang an Old Glory saw on the 4th of July.

It’s painted in red, white, and blue. And it comes with an “Old Glory” bow.

88. If you love majestic mountains, perhaps you’d want this American flag hanging.

Sure it may have a flag in the background. Yet, this woman seems very proud of her creation.

89. Show your love for America with this heart panel.

This one has stars in a near heart shape. Nevertheless, I love this. So pretty.

90. Any American would love this patriotic night stand.

It has a flag on top, a striped drawer, and a blue star on red and white stripes on the bottom. Perfect for any patriotic home.

91. Put your white bread inside this Betsy Ross flag bread box.

The Betsy Ross flag is on the door. And the top is decorated with 3 blue stars.

92. With these blocks are the values our country holds dear.

Well, Americans do value freedom. But some people do have a funny sense of honor.

93. Sit back and relax in this American flag easy chair.

Never thought I’d see a piece of furniture like this before. Yet, I do love the upholstery.

94. You might want to picnic on this Old Glory table.

One plank is red. One plank is blue. The flag is the table.

95. You’ll find plenty of stars on these fireworks.

Well, the stars are yellow for bursts. But the firecrackers are all red, white and blue.

96. There’s nothing more American this 4th of July than a wreath of denim for your door.

This is wrapped by old jeans. Because jeans are an iconic American clothing item.

97. A grand old flower flag makes an ideal 4th of July centerpiece.

Make sure the flowers are fake and in a wooden crate first. So pretty. Love it.

98. Catch the light with this patriotic suncatcher.

This is made of stained glass with a red shield and a blue eagle. Kind of resembles a car logo.

99. If you have small flower pots, use them to make candle holders.

They’re painted in red, white, and blue. And they’re all stacked together. What more can you love?

100. Care for a potted Uncle Sam?

This one has him in striped pants, a blue shirt with stars, and glasses. All in all he’s adorable sitting in a red chair.

Salute the Red, White, and Blue United States of America with These Patriotic 4th of July Treats (Fourth Edition)

080f3c6f66078a36532d51d696e8770c

Once again, I prepare for the celebration of America with my annual posts of 4th of July treats and craft decorations. Despite that the presidency of the complete monster Donald Trump has very much ruined it for me since he basically goes against everything that my country stands for. And people think he’s a patriotic American? For God’s sake, he’s a fraud who feels more a home enriching himself on the taxpayer dime, breaking political norms, disrespecting the US Constitution and undermining our image in the world without a care. He’s a narcissistic sociopath who cares about nothing but himself. And people want me to unite behind this man or respect him? Sorry, but I’d rather spit in his eye since he has no respect for the United States, its values, or its people. Anyway, I apologize for my little rant but since that unrespectable man got in the White House, patriotic holidays seem to get me railed up since he’s alienated me. Maybe I’ll just take a knee until that authoritarian demagogue fascist is out of office. At least around this time of year. Yet, 4th of July is supposed to be a time of picnics and barbeques where you’d have hotdogs and hamburgers along with some desserts like pies. So for your reading pleasure, I give you another assortment of star spangled treats for America’s birthday.

  1. An American cake should always have a bald eagle on top.

Though I don’t think the figure is edible. However, this 2-tier cake is partially covered with an American flag.

2. Grace your patriotic dessert platter with this red, white, and blue trifle.

This one contains strawberries, blueberries, and whipped cream. Since you have to have patriotic flair.

3. A 4th of July cake should always be covered with an American flag.

One side has stars. The other has stripes. Sure, it’s professionally made but no matter.

4. Honor our American heroes with this triangle flag cake.

Because when a serviceman dies, this is how the military presents the American flag to their loved ones. And yes, it has to be folded into a triangle.

5. Celebrate the 4th of July at the beach with these cookies.

After all, the 4th of July is a summer holiday. So get your red, white, and blue bikinis and star-spangled flip flops.

6. You can’t celebrate the 4th of July without this spectacularly American flag cake.

One tier has thin red stripes on white. One tier has white stars on blue. And one tier has thick red stripes with white stars on top.

7. Celebrate American with some red, white, and blue nachos in your salsa.

Sure, they’re not arranged like an American flag. Comes with a bowl of salsa and guac.

8. These pancake stacks make a quality 4th of July breakfast.

Yes, they’re considerably smaller than what you’d get at IHOP. But each has strawberries, blueberries, and banana.

9. Grace your 4th of July dessert platter with these star-spangled cookies.

Each of these has a design in stars and stripes. And yes, they’re professionally made.

10. These firework cookies are uniquely explosive.

Because Americans often shoot fireworks on the 4th of July. Except if they live near an area where there’s a high wildfire risk.

11. This mini cupcake flag is especially fruity.

Consists of blueberries, raspberries, and coconut toppings. Yet, they’re all on a tray for good measure.

12. A star cake should have 3 layers.

The layers are in red, white and blue with white icing keeping it together. And it’s covered in a strawberry syrup, I think.

13. If you’re tired or poor, you might enjoy this cake of Lady Liberty.

This especially goes if you live in New York. Since it’s a symbol of NYC. Still, Trump better watch out for her torch.

14. For healthier options, may I suggest an American flag fruit salad?

Consists of blueberries, banana, and watermelon. Yes, it’s similar to other platters but this one is all fruit.

15. Nobody would object to this star-spangled cake.

This one has a star in the American flag. And it’s covered with sprinkles on the edge.

16. Feast your eyes on these fruity red, white, and blue bites.

These consist of strawberries, blueberries, and icing. And you can pop them in your mouth, apparently.

17. These American flag cupcakes make a quality patriotic dessert.

These consist of white icing with a blue star and red stripes. So far, they seem quite doable compared to the other desserts on here.

18. You’ll have an explosive 4th of July with this American flag cake.

Since this one has firework decorations which you can’t eat. But it’s nonetheless festive.

19. For an outdoor picnic, you can’t do without these cake kabobs.

These consist of cakes, fruit, and marshmallows on sticks. Perfect for any 4th of July dessert platter.

20. This sheet cake of the United States is an all-American showstopper.

The US is in the form of an American flag. And it’s surrounded by stars and banners.

21. You’ll get stars with these fruity cheesecakes.

These consist of fruit fillings and cheesecake in jars. At least as far as I can tell.

22. No patriotic American can resist these mini red velvet flag cakes.

Topped with white icing for stripes and blueberries. But be careful as you put them on your plate.

23. You can’t enjoy the 4th of July without a star-spangled pie.

Well, it’s not the first pie flag I’ve had. Yet, it has more blueberries and stars than the others I’ve posted.

24. Nothing makes the 4th of July like an American flag of M&Ms.

The stripes are even separated by paper so they won’t mix together. The blue M&Ms are in a bowl.

25. An American flag cake should wave with fruit.

This one has blueberries on the star section and strawberry slice stripes. Only the icing is white.

26. You’d be bursting for this firework cake.

And the cake is white with red and blue fireworks. Also seems rather easy to make.

27. These pretzel flag bites make a rather patriotic snack.

All you need to make these are waffle pretzels, icing, and M&Ms. Doesn’t seem hard to make, does it?

28. Enjoy your 4th of July party with this Taco salad flag.

Yes, I posted a taco salad flag before. But this one has less stripes and lettuce in the star section. Also, the olives are sliced.

29. Treat yourself to some red, white, and blue jello treats.

These consist of jello on the bottom and fruit on top with whipped cream in between. Red has blueberries. Blue has strawberries.

30. Your beach party can’t be complete without a star-spangled beach ball cake.

Yes, this is professionally made. But it goes nicely with the swimsuit and flip flop cookies.

31. You can’t have a great 4th of July party without a patriotic American slab pie.

This one has strawberry filling in the stripes and 3 rows of stars. And yes, it’s great for any 4th of July picnic.

32. Red, white, and blue frozen bananas are a quality 4th of July treat.

Each one is covered by icing and sprinkles. Some of the sprinkles are even stars.

33. A hotdog cake is perfect for an Independence Day barbecue.

After all, hotdogs and burgers are always classic 4th of July fare. Still, it can’t be as disgusting as real hotdogs.

34. Nothing makes a great 4th of July dinner than an American flag casserole.

This one has a green banner, tomato stripes, and cheese stars. And over a layer of cheese.

35. There’s something flowery about this American flag cake.

Indeed, this is a wedding cake. Consists of buntings and American flags along with a white flower.

36. Perhaps a star American flag cake may interest you.

Yes, I know the flag is in a rectangular shape. But you have to go all yankee doodle dandy on this one.

37. How about a flag draped on a cake?

Sure the flag’s not all on the cake. But it’s draped like you’d lay one on a soldier’s coffin.

38. Any American would be tied for these patriotic cookies.

These are American flag bow cookies. The stripes are on the ends. The stars are on the top.

39. Impress your patriotic guests with this American flag snack tray.

This one has meat and cheese stripes along wit cheesy stars. And all on a wooden platter.

40. Raise a glass to these star-spangled cupcakes.

This one has M&Ms inside a glass with a cupcake on top. And the cupcakes have sprinkles.

41. You can’t go wrong with these spectacular 4th of July cookies.

Includes, flag flip flops, American flags, Statue of Liberty, buntings, and fireworks. Perfect for any picnic and barbecue.

42. With this 4th of July cake, you can support the troops.

Though soldier ribbons are usually yellow. But the flag adds an extra patriotic flair.

43. For your 4th of July lunch, munch on these tortilla stars.

These are covered in cheese and salsa. And seem quite easy to make.

44. If you enjoy beach parties, try these cookies.

Yes, I showed some beach cookies on this post before. But these include starfish and clams.

45. You can’t do wrong with a fruity cake like this.

This one is covered with blueberries and a strawberry star. And yes, it’s rather doable.

46. Care for a flower with stars and stripes?

This one has stars in the blue center and striped petals. Professionally made but creative.

47. Nobody can resist these American flag truffles.

Many of them are made of Oreo cookies. Not to mention, decorated with icing and sprinkles.

48. These red, white, and blue stars are especially cheesy.

After all, they’re cheesecake stars. And each one is decorated with blueberry and strawberry syrup.

49. For outdoor 4th of July parties, top your dessert platter with this gazebo cake.

I’m sure the gazebo isn’t edible. Yet, it’s nonetheless decorated with stars.

50. Feel free to this all-American snack platter.

This one has cheese and cracker stripes, cheese stars, and a pepperoni blue square. Perfect for a barbecue.

51. These Uncle Sam cookies are a patriotic delight.

These consist of a flower beard with hats. Still, at any rate, they’re quite adorable.

52. These treats seem to go out like fireworks.

Because they’re Rice Krispie firecrackers. And each color is separated by marshmallows.

53. Nothing makes a great 4th of a July dessert like a Patriotic Mousse Parfait.

This one has red cakes, whipped cream, blue icing on top, and white chocolate chips. And yes, they sure look tasty.

54. You can’t go wrong with these star-spangled cookies.

These have a blue border and red M&Ms on each point. And I’m sure most won’t have trouble making them.

55. Anyone can enjoy these Oreo pops.

These have red and blue stripes with similar colored stars. Yet, I’m sure anyone would love them.

56. You can let the eagle soar on this patriotic cake.

This one has a bald eagle head on top. The rest is covered with an American flag. Amazing.

57. You’ll find plenty of stars on this cake.

Of course, the stars are around the cake in an American flag fashion. Yet, you have to admire it nonetheless.

58. Anyone can delight in these jello American flags.

Not sure how you get the colors like that. But they’re quite cool to look at.

59. Nothing encapsulates America like a star-spangled baseball cake.

Still, it would’ve been more American to have a football cake. But summer is baseball season. So there.

60. Perhaps a fruity star on a sheet cake may suit you.

This one consists of blueberries and strawberries. Great for any barbecue.

61. How about a 4th of July pizza party?

This one consists of pepperoni and cheese stripes. And I’m sure there are blue chips and cheese for the square.

62. All a cake needs is a star-spangled bow.

This one has a blue bow with stars on top. Yet, most of the cake consists of stripes.

63. These cake squares seem stitched together.

Since it’s supposed to resemble an American quilt. All with stars on blue and stripes.

64. “That’s one small step for man, one giant leap for mankind.”

Yes, they have a moon landing cake. And yes, I’m putting it on my post. Because USA! USA!

65. Care for a berry tart on this 4th of July?

This consists of raspberries and blueberries in stripes. More suited for barbecues that don’t have a lot of flags.

66. Serve up some of this fruity American flag pizza.

Consists of blueberries, banana slices, and strawberries. And yes, you have blueberries on the border.

67. You’ll find the US Constitution on this cake.

Though it’s on a scroll. Still, Donald Trump thinks it’s just a piece of paper which he’s clearly not honoring. Since he’s making money on the presidency.

68. You’re bound to love this cake with red, white, and blue stars on top.

The side of it has an American flag heart. So you can show your love to America on its birthday.

69. You’ll find plenty of cheesy stars on this snack platter.

All of the stars are on top of some meat. And they’re all in different sizes and colors.

70. Make your star-spangled party splash with these bunting cookies.

These are decorations you might see on political podiums. Yet, these cookies seem easy to make though have much more polish.

71. Perhaps a patchwork cake may suit you for this 4th of July.

Well, it’s a circular quilt cake. But you have to admire the seams on the stars and stripes.

72. Celebrate your 4th of July with these American flag candy bars.

These seem more like brownies covered with M&Ms. So you can figure that out yourself.

73. Your 4th of July cake should always reach new heights.

This one has several tiers. One perhaps the words to the Declaration of Independence. Or is it the Constitution?

74. A waving American flag cake can always include star cookies.

This the star cookies are in swirls like an explosion. And the flag cake looks very stunning.

75. Wake up this 4th of July to these open face breakfast sandwiches.

Well, I’ve posted one of these before. But these have jelly on them instead of raspberries.

76. Cool yourself off this 4th of July with this patriotic jello treat.

This one has 3 layers of red, white, and blue in a glass. Still, love the glasses.

77. For healthy snacks, try this American flag veggie tray.

Consists of red pepper and cauliflower stripes. The dip is dyed blue, by the way.

78. A 4th of July cake can always use a few flowers.

As long as they’re red, white, and blue flowers of course. Though I don’t think these are edible.

79. Nothing makes people excited like 4th of July Rice Krispie firecracker treats.

These mostly consist of red, white, and blue bars. But they’re quite easy to make though.

80. Celebrate the 4th of July with these pie crust stars on your dessert platter.

Well, they’re all covered in sugar. Whether you use them as a pie or cookies, people will love them.

An Unconstitutional War on Preexisting Conditions

Since I am a Medicaid recipient due to having a pre-existing condition called Autism, the issue of healthcare is a very important to me. So much so that during the House of Representatives’ passage of the American Healthcare Act deeply troubled me that I was enraged, anxious, and inconsolable about the whole thing for a good part of 2017 summer. Anyway, one of the most important aspects in the Affordable Care Act are the protections for people with pre-existing conditions who consist of 130 million of the US population under 65. Because before the ACA’s 2010 passage, if a citizen had a pre-existing condition, insurance companies could reject them, charge them more, raise the rate once they’re enrolled, or even refuse to pay or cover for essential healthcare benefits treating that condition. And insurance companies often canceled coverage for people who became ill once the policy year ended. In fact, they often required applicants to fill out long questionnaires about their medical histories and made decisions based on people’s health and how much to charge. This led to so many Americans unable to purchase health insurance on the individual market at all. Obamacare outlawed all these practices and set limits on how much these insurers can charge.

On Thursday, June 7, 2018, the Trump administration filed a court brief arguing that Obamacare’s protections for preexisting conditions should be ruled unconstitutional. This opens another front in the White House’s crusade to roll back the law’s core insurance reforms and some of its most popular pillars. Not to mention, intensify the fight over healthcare just as mid-term elections are months away. Since Republicans and the Trump administration have been behind major efforts to sabotage the ACA, we can expect taking away protections for pre-existing conditions won’t do them any favors. For GOP ideas on healthcare have proven to be obviously and deeply unpopular among the American public. In fact, when the American Healthcare Act was up for debate last year, it faced strong opposition by the Democrats, the medical establishment, disability activists, celebrities, religious groups, civil rights organization, and most of the population in every state.

The brief was filed in a case brought by several conservative states arguing that because Republicans in Congress repealed Obamacare’s individual mandate penalty in last year’s tax bill, rendering it unconstitutional along with the rest of the ACA law. The lawsuit argued that without an actual fine for being uninsured, the mandate should be considered illegal under Chief Justice John Roberts’ rationale used to uphold the law in the 2012 lawsuit. He claimed that Congress can’t order people to buy insurance but it could imposing an uninsurance penalty fee, allowing the rest of the law to stand and take effect. Without the financial penalty, the Republican-led argued the requirement to buy insurance can’t legally stand. And since it’s so crucial to Obamacare, the whole law should be found unconstitutional, too. If you don’t understand this convoluted construct, you aren’t alone since neither do I.

Usually, a presidential administration defends the current law, but the Trump administration agreed with the states that the mandate and with it, the law’s rules prohibiting insurers from denying people health insurance or charging them higher rates should now be found unconstitutional. However, the Justice Department lawyers told the court that the rest of the law could stand, including the law’s massive expansion to millions of the nation’s poorest. Should the Trump administration’s argument prevail, insurers could once again be able to flat-out deny Americans insurance based on their health status. Since no amount of federal subsidies would protect them. Medicaid expansion will remain but the private insurance market would no longer guarantee coverage to every American willing to pay for it. Yet, according to a 2016 Kaiser Family Foundation analysis, a favorable ruling could result in 52 million Americans under 65 finding their access to health insurance at risk because of a wide range of pre-existing conditions like diabetes, cancer, autism, allergies, acne, toenail fungus, domestic violence, tonsillitis, bunions, hemorrhoids, pregnancy, and being a woman. Those who may be affected by pre-existing condition clauses may include police officers, firefighters, stunt people, test pilots, and circus workers. Striking down these provisions would be catastrophic and have dire consequences for many patients with serious illnesses. Not only would millions lose their coverage, but their ability to buy health insurance. If you have individual insurance and have suffered so much as a case of asthma, you have every right to freak out over the choices the Trump administration has made.

Of course, this argument makes absolutely no sense. When Congress adopted the individual mandate in 2010, it was an essential part of a broader scheme. But Congress is always free to amend and omit what they previously thought was essential, which is what they did when they nixed the uninsurance penalty. Sure the move was stupid since the individual mandate’s purpose is to get healthy people to buy insurance to spread the risk across a broader population and help keep prices lower for everyone. Get rid of the mandate, insurance premiums spike. But despite their idiocy to get rid of the mandate, they let the rest of the law stand. For a court to now reject that choice would be the worst kind of judicial activism. The Justice Department should’ve given an easy explanation and had a duty to do so. Since there’s a longstanding, bipartisan tradition defending acts of Congress whenever a non-frivolous argument can be made in their defense, which is certainly the case here. This brief squashes that commitment.

Nonetheless, the brief sends a strong signal that the Trump administration believes the central insurance reforms in the ACA should be totally undone. Already, the administration has taken regularly steps to undermine those rules such as expanding short-term plans that don’t have to comply with the reforms. But it’s now seeking a different avenue, outside Congress, to end them for good. Because we all know how congressional Republicans have failed to pass Obamacare repeal last year despite coming astonishingly close (only to be thwarted by 3 Republican senators). Of course, Donald Trump has promised he’d make sure all Americans get better, cheaper healthcare. Yet, he has done nothing to achieve that despite how his supporters give him credit when they benefit from ACA provisions. Still, we should know full well that Trump frequently makes promises to people to get what he wants only to frequently break them. Since he often has no intention to follow through to begin with.

Luckily, the litigation’s success is far from assured since many legal scholars have long thought the lawsuit is stupid. Because the higher courts who’ve upheld Obamacare against existential legal threats on several prior occasions won’t take it seriously. Besides, protections against pre-existing conditions remains one of ACA’s most popular provisions since 130 million Americans under 65 have them. Openly attacking them might lead to severe political backlash for Republicans during the mid-terms. Since it’s an election year Democrats already want to focus on healthcare. The Trump administration’s position doesn’t really change the legal ground much. Since the Democratic-led states had already stepped in to defend Obamacare in the case. Then there’s the fact several career federal lawyers withdrew from the case shortly before the brief was filed since they thought the Trump administration’s arguments were ridiculous. After all, they’re non-political civil servants whose job is to defend federal programs. These lawyers couldn’t sign the brief in good conscience or in consistent with their professional obligations. They defend programs they personally disagree with all the time.

Yet, health insurers are setting their Obamacare insurance rates for 2019. Some plans are already hiking premiums by 30% or more thanks to what Congressional Republicans and the Trump administration has done. This lawsuit and the administration engenders more uncertainty which won’t help. For any time there’s uncertainty about the future, insurers build an extra cushion into their premiums to make sure they get the profits while they can. In addition, removing those provisions will result in renewed uncertainty in the individual market, create a patchwork of requirements in the states, lead to higher rates for older Americans and sicker patients, and make it more difficult to introduce products and rates for next year. Some have even withdrawn from the business of selling individual insurance plans or may exit certain areas entirely. Such actions will harm millions of Americans, especially if they don’t qualify for Medicaid and don’t receive health benefits at work. Not to mention, throw the health insurance market further into chaos while eroding the massive ACA insurance gains.

Although the Affordable Care Act isn’t under immediate threat so far, the Justice Department brief represents a blow to its integrity and independence. Moreover, it also illustrates the Trump administration’s contempt for the rule of law, which isn’t surprising. Laws Congress passes and that presidents sign are the laws of the land. They’re neither negotiable or up for debate. If the Justice Department can just throw in the towel whenever a law is subject to a court challenge, it can effectively pick and choose which laws should remain on the books. That’s a flagrant violation of a president’s constitutional duty to make sure the laws are faithfully enforced. Do you want to live in a country where the Justice Department can use the flimsiest excuse to justify declining to defend or enforce a law? Sure there are cases where the DOJ has deviated from principle, they’re extremely rare.

Is there any precedent for this? I’m sure Donald Trump’s defenders will talk about the Obama administration’s decision not to defend the Defense of Marriage Act. But with DOMA, the Justice Department faced a question about the meaning of the Constitution with deep resonance for the values we share as a nation. As we no longer believe it’s constitutional to deny interracial couples the right to marry, the Justice Department concluded that we as a nation, no longer think it’s constitutionally tenable to deny equal rights to LGBT people. Whether you agree or disagree with that decision, it was rooted in the public’s evolving sense on what the Constitution meant.

However, this case with the ACA pre-existing condition protections can’t be more different from DOMA. The question isn’t whether a penalty-free mandate is unconstitutional. This is a critical question on “severability” which doesn’t represent a clash of fundamental constitutional values or defines who we are as a nation. Besides, the conservative states’ argument is laughably weak. It’s unlikely that the Supreme Court will adopt such a flimsy argument these conservative states have advanced which they pulled from their own ass. For now, nobody needs to worry about losing their health insurance since the Trump administration will keep enforcing the ACA as litigation progresses. Yet, by declining to defend that law, the Trump administration has admitted it doesn’t care about a law passed by Congress and signed by the president. In fact, it has contempt for the law and has a baseless argument for casting it aside. A rule by whim should frighten you.

In any case, regardless of what these conservative states argue in this lawsuit, I sincerely believe invalidating protections for pre-existing conditions is cruel and inexcusable. The guarantee that people should be able to buy health insurance regardless of their health history is a popular provision in the divisive ACA with considerable support throughout the political spectrum. So there’s nothing controversial about them. To say that provisions protecting people with pre-existing medical conditions like myself are unconstitutional flies in the face of logic for me. Considering they protect over 130 million Americans, it’s more likely that revoking provisions on pre-existing conditions would be unconstitutional under the 14th Amendment’s Equal Protection Clause, which provides that no state should deny any person within its jurisdiction equal protection under the law. I’m not sure if it means that insurance companies can’t discriminate against people on health status or gender. Yet, since this clause has been used to determine that businesses can’t discriminate against race or sexual identity, I don’t see why not. Because without these protections, over 130 million Americans would be uninsurable in the individual market. Thus, individual mandate or not, health insurance companies can and should be compelled to cover everyone regardless of pre-existing conditions. Again, I’m not sure if this is a sound legal argument. But since I see healthcare as a civil right the government should protect, I don’t see why attorneys shouldn’t argue that point in court. Since the federal government is supposed to protect Americans against discrimination, in which these pre-Obamacare pre-existing condition clauses certainly fall under that. I mean that’s discriminating against sick, old, and disabled people along with women and LGBT people, especially if they’re poor and unable to pay the costs out-of-pocket. And even if I can’t provide a sound legal argument, I can make a case of basic morality that no American should be denied health coverage for any reason whatsoever since I strongly believe that healthcare is a civil right the government should protect. Sure, this might mean that for-profit healthcare is a morally indefensible travesty like it does for me. But if we should determine that provisions protection those with pre-existing conditions are constitutional, shouldn’t an argument based on simple fairness and decency be enough?

The Children at the Border

Undocumented immigration has been a contentious topic in the American political landscape. But the more I know about the subject, the less I agree with current US immigration policy. At the end of May, a viral hashtag asking #WhereAreTheChildren sprang up on Twitter after the New York Times reported that the federal government hasn’t been able to make contact with 1,475 minors awaiting deportation hearings who many dub as the so-called “missing.” But despite reports to the contrary, these children aren’t really “missing.”

According to immigration experts, these children aren’t in government custody nor are they supposed to be. In fact, these are unaccompanied minors arriving at the US border without parents or adults who immigration authorities have detained and largely released into the care of parents or other close relatives. The government recently tried reaching about 7,600 of these children with a single phone call each. In 1,475 of these, the phone calls went unanswered.

But immigration advocates don’t find the 1,475 unanswered phone calls to the sponsors of unaccompanied minors particularly concerning. Because there are plenty of reasons why families might miss a phone call like boring logistics and more widespread fears of the federal government. A lot of these families have a pay-as-you-go phone number.
However, immigration advocates aren’t spending a lot of time worried about #WhereAreTheChildren. Instead, they think they worry significantly more about the Trump administration’s new policy of separating undocumented families apprehended at the US border. This policy has already led to more than 600 children being separated from their parents. And they fear it will create traumatic situations for families and overwhelm the very immigration infrastructure put in place to protect these minors.

On May 7, 2018, the Trump administration announced that it would begin separating all families apprehended at the border trying to cross into the US without documentation. An increasing share of border crossers seeking asylum come as “family units” consisting of at least one adult with one child. Though the Trump administration refers to them as “purported family units” as if to imply these people are lying about their family relationship. For it’s much harder for the government to detain whole immigrant families than it is to detain adults. Federal court rulings have set strict standards on the conditions under which families can be detained. Under the Obama administration, courts ruled that the government can’t keep families in detention for more than 20 days.

However, the Trump administration’s solution that’s now codified in policy is to stop treating them as families. This means to take the parents as adults and place the children in the custody of what Health and Human Services refers to as “unaccompanied minors.” In some cases, according to immigration lawyers, parents separated from their children have begged to withdraw their asylum applications. So they can easily reunify their families in their home countries. Attorney General Jeff Sessions has described this as a “zero tolerance” policy. As he noted, “If you cross the border unlawfully, then we will prosecute you. It’s that simple.” When pressed by NPR whether this policy was “cruel and heartless,” (which it is), White House Chief of Staff, John Kelly answered, “The children will be taken care of — put into foster care or whatever.” This is another way of saying, “we don’t give a shit what we do to them. We just want to use them as a bargaining chip to get them and their parents out of the country.”

But for families facing the prospect of “foster care or whatever,” the reality can deeply devastating. The Houston Chronicle once reported of a 28-year-old father separated from his 18-month-old son last summer at the southern border, crossing without documentation. The Guatemalan man mortgaged his land back home to fund his sick toddler’s hospital stay and needed to work in the US to pay off the loan. But border patrol agents arrested him for coming back after having been deported for a felony. They placed the toddler in a federal shelter, “somewhere in Texas” while the father was deported 3 months later. The man still doesn’t know where his child is to this day. Yet, hundreds of these situations play out as we speak for families trying to cross into the United States. The Trump administration estimates that it’s apprehended 638 undocumented adults trying to cross the border since the new separation policy began. They were traveling with 658 children. This is beyond other family separations that have happened. According to the New York Times, before the Trump administration announced the new policy, there might’ve been as many as 700 family separations. Keep in mind these people haven’t been convicted of crimes. Many are coming to the United States seeking asylum from the horrific violence in Central America, particularly in Guatemala, El Salvador, and Honduras, which has increased 16-fold since 2011, according to UN estimates.

Obviously, immigration advocates are worried about what these separations mean for the undocumented minors going into the United States. The most glaring is the trauma of losing parental contact, especially for the youngest kids. For these children in government custody, their main concern is how fast they can get to the person they see as a family member. For young children, it’s all they can think about. And these detention centers can be a tough place for children to live. Sure, they might have a bit of an education program. But even low-security facilities have barbed-wire fencing around them and monitored communication with those outside. This isn’t good for a kid. Most of the detained minors will be released into the care of a close relative as per the goal for those arriving unaccompanied and those separated from their families. Though those separated from their families might face more challenges since their parent is in government custody. According to ICE, unaccompanied children usually spend 51 days in these facilities with 93% released into a guardian’s care like parents and other close relatives.

But even then, separating families at the border could mean this group of children have a worse chance for making a case for asylum in the United States. Advocates worry about 2 distinct hurdles. First, the separation policy leads to more unaccompanied minors in the country and more children vying for limited attorney services from the pro bono firms typically taking their cases. Already, less than half of those kids get representation. That could have real effects on children since those receiving representation are 73% more likely to win in deportation hearings, compared to just 15% of those without. In addition, children are less able to defend themselves against deportation hearings when they can’t contact their parents. Because their folks likely know better why they believe their kids ought to get asylum in the US and be carrying the paperwork to back it up. Because the adults often know the full story since they’re with the kids the whole time as well as carry documents like birth certificates or police reports. But once these kids are separated, obtaining asylum is a lot harder mostly since the parents often face criminal charges in court at the same time.

Nonetheless, immigration advocates are torn on how aggressively should track unaccompanied minors like whether there’s actually a problem that there isn’t more than a phone call made to ascertain these kids’ whereabouts. On one hand, they want to make sure these unaccompanied children are getting the services and support they need like representation as they move through court proceedings on their immigration status. On the other hand, they worry about aggressive monitoring these children if the US means to use that information as a means to surveil unaccompanied minors to get info they could use against them in their deportation hearings. And because of all the other ways the Trump administration is enforcing these types of laws and policies to serve quite restrictive ends. If keeping track of these kids isn’t done with a more holistic goal of keeping these children safe and healthy (which is very likely), then we should be very disturbed by it.

Now the Trump administration didn’t start this humanitarian crisis. But it’s indeed exacerbating it. Members of the administration have framed the new policy as a way to deter families from entering the United States. As Sessions told a disturbed conservative radio host, “If people don’t want to get separated from their children, they should not bring them with them.” Donald Trump and the attorney general have erroneously leveraged the argument that “the law” is responsible for their own administration policies like family separation on the border. In reality they’re using their legal defense as a smokescreen to justify their inhumane immigration policies and to increase immigrant detention and deterrence. They assume that if they frame the policy as being, even if there’s no law requiring it, most Americans will follow.

However, legality isn’t equivalent to morality. The US has a long history of glaringly obvious xenophobic legislation and precedent. Numerous policies have excluded particular groups, most prolifically from Asia with their basic purpose to preserve a white homogenous United States. This systematic oppression and exclusion of immigrants has always been legal. Implementing a family separation policy to deter undocumented immigrants arbitrarily tears the sacred bond between parents and children. Such actions are brutal, offensive and abysmally fail to conform to notions of fairness and decency. The United Nations have formally called out the US for violating human rights standards over policy, which has attracted protestors in more than 2 dozen cities and 40 senators calling the administration out on it. With every single US policy like the Trump administration’s “zero tolerance,” we must ask ourselves: What is this policy’s real motivation? How will this affect those targeted? And is it morally just or unjust? If it’s unjust which I strongly believe, then we have a moral responsibility to counteract. And the first thing we must do is vote out whoever is responsible for creating them and their enablers. Immigration policies tearing families apart should never stand since it’s sheer cruelty. So now I ask my fellow Americans, where is your outrage?

The Clear and Present Danger of Donald Trump

In early June, the New York Times reported a 20-page memo written by Donald Trump’s legal team and delivered to Special Counsel Robert Mueller. In it, they make an unusually frank case for a tyrannical interpretation of presidential power. Its key passage is one where Trump’s lawyers argue that there wasn’t anything shady going on when their client fired then FBI Director James Comey. In fact, there isn’t even any potential shenanigans going on because the president is allowed to be as shady as he wants to be while overseeing federal law enforcement. Thus, he can fire anyone he wants as well as shut down the investigation or open up a new one. As they wrote:

“Indeed, the President not only has unfettered statutory and Constitutional authority to terminate the FBI Director, he also has Constitutional authority to direct the Justice Department to open or close an investigation, and, of course, the power to pardon any person before, during, or after an investigation and/or conviction. Put simply, the Constitution leaves no question that the President has exclusive authority over the ultimate conduct and disposition of all criminal investigations and over those executive branch officials responsible for conducting those investigations.”

Essentially all presidents sooner or later will lawyer up to draw up an expansive view of presidential power. But those lawyers usually argue that they’re not making the case for a totally unchecked executive whose existence poses a fundamental threat to American values. But Donald Trump isn’t that kind of president. Instead, they offer a particularly extreme version of the “unitary executive” doctrine that conservative scholars sometimes appeal to especially when there’s a Republican president. This draws upon the notion that the government’s executive branch, including federal police agencies and federal prosecutors are a single entity personified by the president. However, pushing this logic into such terrain not only gives Trump free rein to persecute his enemies which are many, but also nullify the idea there are any enforceable laws at all.

Of course, Richard Nixon once argued that whatever the president does isn’t illegal which is similar to Donald Trump’s legal defense, making him guilty as sin in the Russian meddling case. However, the United States was built on the very concept that nobody is above the law no matter how powerful that person may be, especially the president which is embedded in the US Constitution. So considering what happened at Watergate, I don’t think this defense will fly because that’s just contrary to American values. Yet, such decision isn’t up to me to decide. Furthermore, Trump has always thought himself above the law even before he was president or at least that the laws don’t apply to him. Call it a rich man’s entitlement, but his rationale has nothing to do with the job he currently occupies.

But should the courts think this memo correct, then there would be nothing wrong with Donald Trump setting up a booth somewhere in Washington DC where rich people can hand him checks in exchange for making any legal trouble they have go away. Think of it as a “Trump Hotel” where corrupt CEOs can check in a room with the legal impunity which has plenty of disturbingly unfortunate implications for the American people. Once Trump cuts these rich guys a check, they’ll have free rein to commit bank fraud, dump toxic waste, or whatever else they want to do at poorer Americans’ expense. A mob boss can get the feds off his case. And so could the perps of the next Enron fraud or whatever else. Since Washington DC’s criminal laws all fall under federal jurisdiction, perhaps most egregiously, Trump could have his staff murder the opposition party senators or inconvenient judges and subsequently block any investigation into what’s happening. Sounds despotic?

Of course, the memo notes to an extent that this kind of power to undermine the rule of law already exists with essentially unlimited pardon power. Such power has never been a good idea which has been abused in the past. George H.W. Bush used it to kill the Iran Contra investigation. Bill Clinton used it to win his wife votes in a New York Senate race. Donald Trump has started using the pardon power abusively and capriciously early in his time in office and in a way that’s quite disturbing. But he has yet to try to pardon his way out of the Russian investigation because this power has one crucial check. That the president has to do it in public and we know Trump doesn’t want to arouse suspicion. Thus, the only limit on his pardon power is a political check which is quite real (explaining why Clinton and George H. did their questionable pardons as lame ducks). Not to mention the theory that Trump can simply make whole investigations disappear would eliminate it.

Nonetheless, much of the argument about Donald Trump and the rule of law rather narrowly pertains to the particular case of Comey’s firing and the potential future dismissal of Robert Mueller. Indeed, these are important questions in the sense that an FBI Director is an important person and a special counsel investigation is an important matter. Yet, the memo is a reminder that they offer too specific view can be easily explained. For one, Trump has always believed that due to his wealth and fame, he can and should be able to get away with whatever he wants. As he told Billy Bush in that bus “And when you’re a star, they let you do it. You can do anything.” Sure he said this in the context of assaulting women. But he’s also carried that philosophy in regards to running his businesses. Since his list of power abuses and unethical business practices is simply mindboggling and staggering. And I’m sure he sees himself above the law in regards to the presidency as well. Thus, looking at his life, Trump doesn’t see himself above the law because he’s president, but because he’s Trump.

But more importantly, one of government’s main purposes is protecting the weak from exploitation at the hands of the strong by making certain forms of misconduct illegal. Donald Trump’s assertion that he can simply waive away investigations into misconduct over worries that they may end badly for his rich friends and family is toxic to the entire scheme. Like most presidents, Trump has plenty of rich and powerful friends and a much longer list of wealthy and influential people who’d like to be his friends. At any rate, in the most unlikely scenario, if Trump really does have the power to make anyone’s legal troubles go away when he feels like it, we’re all in deep trouble.

Chindogu Made in Japan

imagesR9H856G9

Whenever I do posts on strange gifts or other products for certain things and occasions, I’ll always find weird stuff from Japan. After all, this is a country known for its innovation, especially in fields you really can’t imagine or didn’t think were necessary. Not to mention, it’s a very crazy place. Since you’ll find plenty of outrageous stuff pertaining to this Asian island nation called “the land of the rising sun.” There are articles pertaining to its strange food combinations that would make you barf. There are some stuff on an annual phallus ceremony that you wouldn’t want to take your kids to. Sure, I’m positive every country has some degree of weirdness as I’ve talked about Russia’s playgrounds that seem straight our of horror movies to their clearly photo-shopped wedding photos. But Japan seems more associated with craziness than most countries since they’re quite wealthy, known for innovation and technology, and have some bonkers ideas on how to apply it. Not to mention, they have a penchant for cuteness and bright colors. Sometimes this can go well since the country doesn’t have a lot of landmass and densely populated cities. But sometimes it doesn’t. In fact, the Japanese have a word called Chindogou, which is the Japanese art of inventing gadgets that are seemingly useful but too absurd to use. So for your reading pleasure, I give you a treasury of crazy products from Japan.

  1. When it pours, best to go out with an umbrella dome.

Now you don’t have to worry about coming in soaking wet again. Though you might receive a lot of attention from onlookers.

2. This Kenzan scalp massager will provide you with sweet relief.

Not sure if I’d want to put that on my head. Those spikes might just mess up my hair if I use it.

3. Take your produce with you in this Wondrous Bra.

Look, there’s no harm in making farming sexy. But I’m not sure if you can easily pull this off.

4. With this zebra crosswalk, you can stop traffic wherever you go.

Though I’m not sure if that’s even necessary. Besides, you can just look both ways to cross. Then again, this might be for city dwellers.

5. Now you can apply lip gloss with these toilet key chain dispensers.

Well, it might serve a practical purpose. But why would you want to get lip gloss from a toilet? That seems gross.

6. These training heels will ease your way to adult footwear.

So they’re just high heels with wheels. I don’t know about you. But I don’t see how walking in high heels is like riding a bike.

7. You will always stun with this Japanese makeup mask.

And by “stun” I mean turn men into granite a la Medusa style. Or receive compliments for your Stepford Wife Halloween costume.

8. Let your kitty relax in this cooling cat bowl.

From Trend Hunter: “The cooling pet product looks like any other bowl, but it’s equipped with refrigerant-like equipment that makes sitting in it far more refreshing than the average pet container. It’s designed to be extremely comfortable and with the recent heatwaves hitting Japan, it’s hardly a surprise that this cooling cat pot is already selling out fast.” Not sure if that’s even necessary.

9. Tone your boobs with this Breast Gymnastics Hand Massager.

Okay, this is kind of disturbing. Not sure if I’d want to use a grabby hand to massage my breasts.

10. These smartphone umbrellas will keep your iPhone dry at the beach.

Well, I guess this could be quite useful. After all, people use their smartphones all the time.

11. Don your fingers with these adorable hedgehog rings.

Hey, I told you about the Japanese obsession with cuteness. Though I’m sure to gag at the opossum ones since they’re ugly.

12. Smooth eye wrinkles with this Eye Recovery Anti-Aging Heating Cooling Gadget.

Yes, I know we all get wrinkles when we live past a certain age. But come on, an eye wrinkle gadget is just a rip off.

13. With this inflatable smartphone holder, you never need to set yours down for a bath.

Man, Japan is really cashing in people’s smartphone addictions. Yet, at least this one goes with a pillow. Though I’m not sure how many people take baths these days.

14. Exercise your lungs with these horns.

You know those horns from birthday parties. Well, Japan has a long one to exercise your lungs. So go ahead and blow your heart out.

15. Keep your skin fresh at to monster mash with these monster masks.

If I want a Halloween mask, I’ll just buy one at a party store. It’s cheaper. Not slather one on my face to keep out black heads and pimples.

16. Anyone could adore these hamburger monster lamps.

Turn it on in the dark, you can see its eyes and teeth. Not sure if it was tested to frighten babies.

17. Smell like a whopper with some Burger King perfume.

I don’t know if I’m like most women. But I don’t find the smell of cheeseburgers sexy. Quite the contrary.

18. Have hours of fun with this Tutti Bako finger game box.

From Incredible Things: “Each stage features something you interact with by poking it. Stick your finger in the box and a digital representation appears on the screen mimicking your motions. From what we can tell the various stages of the game include terrorizing a tiny stick man, poking a girl in the face and flicking a tiny panda.”

19. Nothing spells fun like Hex Bug Robot Cockroaches.

Available in an array of bright colors. Guess this was in an attempt to make these disgusting creatures cute. Not sure if it works.

20. Want to know what’s inside a horse or a fish? Get these Gotichi Dissection animal toys.

From Incredible Things: “The Gotochi Dissection animals display a diagram of the muscles and organs inside of a variety of animals including fish, pigs, cows and even a panda. All the parts are labeled, in Japanese of course. We suppose they could be used as tiny “cheat sheets” in Japanese biology classes, but we can’t figure out any other possible reasons to want one.”

21. Keep your kid’s soul in line with this God Jesus robot.

From Incredible Things: “Because literally everything in Japan is actually a robot… This strange all knowing Japanese toy debuted in the 80’s and answered your questions in a magic 8-ball style. God-Jesus robot only knows what the designers of this toy were thinking when they made it.”

22. Help your little one go to the bathroom with a Shimajiro Toilet Training Tiger.

From Incredible Things: “Maybe it’s us… maybe the way we approach potty training in the US is a bit conservative, but on the other hand Japan seems to have the weirdest approach we could possibly imagine, complete with animated poop and talking toilets. The Shimajiro videos feature an animated tiger struggling with potty training and his animated personified waste. The accompanying toy attaches to the toilet paper roll holder and yells out encouraging phrases while you go.”

23. Keep your skin dewy and healthy with the Panasonic Beauty Premium Booster Mask EH-XM10.

So you can kick back and relax as this mask does the work. Still reminds me of something from a sci-fi movie.

24. Now men can slim their faces with this Germanium Kogao Sauna Mask to avoid plastic surgery.

You mean they have these Hannibal Lecter masks for men? Great for any beauty conscious psychopath with a penchant to serve man. And I don’t mean in the brotherly sense.

25. Your chests will change color when you wear these Frozen bras against each other.

Okay, this is just messed up. Frozen lingerie that changes color when people bump against each other? That’s crazy.

26. Now you can rest your eyes and head while traveling with this King Eye Pillow Mask.

Because when you travel, you got to have a pillow over your eyes. Though I normally don’t have one when I’m sleeping.

27. Make bath time fun with the Chat Tororin Bathing Toy.

From Neatorama: “Do you find yourself wishing you had someone to talk to while you bathe? Now your bath time can be blather time with the Chat Tororin Bathing Toy, a talking buddy for your tub.” Not I’d think that would enhance the bath time experience. But whatever.

28. Show your kids how to brush their teeth with this  Jaws-Kun Puppet for Toothpaste Guidance.

From Neatorama: “Teaching kids how to properly brush their teeth is hard since we don’t have flip top heads, and that set of plastic choppers sitting on your dentist’s desk is downright creepy, so a puppet with a full set of teeth makes sense. But did the final product have to be so creep-tastically adorable? I don’t know if I want to brush its teeth or burn it with fire!”

29. Let your child spend hours of fun at Russian Roulette with Kappa Kick.

Gives your child all the fun of Russia Roulette without the mess and lethality. Yes, it seems to make this kind of deadly action you might see from The Deer Hunter like fun and games.

30. Love cats and got cat allergies? Get this The Yume Neko Venus Robotic Cat.

From Digital Trends: “For those who have cat hair allergies, and don’t mind the cold dead stare of a machine, you’re in luck. The Yume Neko Venus Robotic Cat will give you the sensation of petting a tuft of moving, purring fur with none of the added benefits of owning a real cat whatsoever. No shots required.”

31. Now you can bring a baby doll to tears.

From Digital Trends: “Can’t you imagine the enthusiastic commercial voice over for this toy: ‘Arm puncturing action! Cries real tears! Satisfies your child’s deeply disturbing desire to inflict pain on another being!'”

32. Keep cool at work in this air-conditioned shirt.

Though to be fair, most workplaces already use air conditioning. Though it’s great for wearing when you’re working outdoors.

33. Keep track of your kids with Docotch.

From Lifebuzz: “Docotch – a smart watch specifically for your kids to wear that lets you know where they are at all times along with what condition they may be in.” Whether you’re a free range or helicopter parent, this is for you.

34. Help your feet to a nice hot spring sauna bath with this wooden box.

You can take it anywhere where there’s an outlet. You can even use it near the bed or in the living room.

35. Everyone can use a hand rest now and then.

This is especially the case since the Japanese are known to take naps at work. Yet, this guy seems like he’s relaxing.

36. Finally, you can now print stuff from your iPhone.

I’m sure you didn’t know you need this. Still, you wonder why they don’t make these all the time. Oh, wait, this one only prints in black and white.

37. Keep quiet during shut eye with some snoring tape.

Yes, this is snoring tape which you put on your mouth. Not sure how that works.

38. Know when an earthquake’s coming with this home seismograph.

To be fair, Japan gets a lot of earthquakes, some of which are devastating. Still, if you live in California, this is for you. If I have the money, perhaps I might want to send some of these to my favorite celebrities.

39. With these glasses, you can capture HD camera photos.

So these glasses have tiny cameras on them. Wonder if spies use them or not.

40. Friend Zone tent is the perfect one for a couple who’s not quite willing to cross second base.

From PC Mag: “The Friend Zone Tent is billed as ‘the perfect outdoor accommodation for a couple who might not have reached that intimate stage yet.’ It is said to be super easy to put up and then take down, unlike the actual friend zone.”

41. See the words of your favorite song float with Lyrical Gangster.

From PC Mag: “You might know all the words by heart, but it’s still something to see them float by on the LCD of the Lyric Speaker. You have to be making rock-star money to afford it, though, since it’s $4,000.” Okay, seemed great while it lasted.

42. Hide the sweat in your pits with this Thanko Electric Armpit Clip-On Cooling Fan.

From PC Mag: “If tensions or temperatures get too high, consider the Thanko Electric Armpit Clip-on Cooler Fan, which will save you from unsightly sweat stains.” Still, I’m sure it doesn’t come cheap.

43. Ward off mites with this special futon dryer.

From PC Mag: “Did you know that in Japan people use special futon dryers to ward off mites? WHY DID NO ONE TELL US? How long have you had that futon? Throw it out! Buy a new one. And 1,000 futon dryers. Buy all the futon dryers.”

44. Turn the beat down with a silent karaoke machine.

From PC Mag: “Do you love to karaoke but don’t want anyone to hear you? Wait, what? With the Noiseless Karaoke Mute Mic 2, only you are subjected to your rendition of ‘Natural Woman.'” Still, isn’t the part about having everyone hear your rendition part of the point of karaoke?

45. Tired of hard butter destroying your toast? Try the butter grater.

Since why do you need to grate butter? It’s soft enough to use on bread for God’s sake.

46. If you’re not sure whether it’ll rain or not, take this tie umbrella.

For when you have to walk to the office and keep in mind about the weather. And yes, you can wear it around your neck.

47. Keep your eyes moist with these eye drop funnels.

That way, you won’t have to worry about missing your eyes again. And yes, it looks incredibly ridiculous.

48. If hearing aids can’t do the trick, try these hearing enhancers.

Because how else are you going to hear anything and look like a moron. Seriously, I don’t think anyone would want to be caught dead in these. Still, you can pick up satellite signals from space while phone reception is great, too. Though yelling would make your ears bleed.

49. Keep yourself dry with this rain-proof umbrella.

For those rainy days when you have a nice business suit that you don’t want to get wet. Because if rain isn’t what you need to worry about, it’s those pesky cars running through puddles.

50. Want to know what your ear looks like inside? Try this Ear Explorer.

Of course, you don’t want the inside of your ear to resemble a nativity scene. Cue Radar from M*A*S*H.

51. Relieve stress with this bubble wrap keychain.

That way, you won’t have to worry about popping all the bubble wrap. Fits into any purse for your convenience.

52. This 360 degree camera gives you panoramic shots.

Though you just have to put it on your head and use the controls. I know it’s ridiculous. Seriously, if you want a panoramic shot, there’s software for that.

53. Protect your shoes with a pair of shoe umbrellas.

Because you can’t have your shoes dirty by cars running into puddles. Still, you can always wear galoshes or wear different shoes on the street.

54. Need a friend to scratch your back? This T-Shirt should help.

Just use the card to point to where it hurts. And then have your friend scratch at that spot on your shirt.

55. A mobile toilet paper roll is always there when you need it.

Did I say it goes on your head? Sorry about that. Though this girl uses hers to blow her nose.

56. Fallen asleep on the subway while standing up? Use this chin strap.

Not sure if that’s practical on the subway. But then again, it seems to work for her.

57. With this sound catching pillow, may you always hear the TV when you lie down on the floor.

That way, you don’t have to worry about missing a thing. Still, I don’t think lying down in front of the TV is a big deal, hearingwise.

58. Know when your noodles are hot with Cupmen.

As it cooks, part of it turns white and eventually falls down. I’ve seen a diagram. Still, cup guy kind of reminds me of a pose from Flashdance for some reason.

59. Go green with your smoking with this solar energy cigarette lighter.

It’s just a magnifying glass you hold to the sun to light your cigarette. So you can get all the goodness of a cardiac and respiratory diseases along with an early death.

60. Fall asleep on the subway? Use this public transportation helmet.

Contains a sign telling everyone when they should wake her up. So she doesn’t miss her stop. Includes suction cup for window.

61. If you’re a man and you’re too tired to pee standing up, this knee rest is right for you.

Whether you need to go on the toilet or the urinal, this rest will help you. Yet, they don’t have a similar one for women, I have no idea. Oh, wait, we pee sitting down.

62. With this splash protector, you won’t have to worry about food getting in your hair again.

You wear it around your face to keep your food from splashing. Guess this happens when you’re eating with chopsticks. Not sure about eating with a fork. Though a pony tail holder is just as handy.

63. Count down to the big day with this pre-wedding lingerie.

Not sure why anyone would need this. I mean it’s lingerie. It’s not like anyone would see it. Guess it goes with an Everlast chastity belt.

64. Wear this dress, you won’t need to worry about stranger rape.

Knowing that you’re more likely to be raped by someone you know, I don’t think this disguise will protect you from rape. But the vending machine get up is clever.

65. Why keep a shed when you can have a Swiss Gardening Tool.

Yes, it’s a Japanese invention. But it’s inspired by the Swiss Army knife with garden implements. So hence the name.

66. Cutting your toenails is a breeze with this device.

From Picuno: “How much time have you wasted clipping one toenail at a time? You’ll never get those minutes of your life back. But you don’t have to waste any more. Have you ever clipped your toenails too far and they hurt for like forever? That’s going to happen a lot more now. You may even lose some toe meat. It will be worth it though. You’ll be able to take one more cat nap with the minutes you’ll save over a lifetime.”

67. Wash while you walk with these shoes.

From Picuno: “Wish that your washing machine wasn’t so stationary? Now you can take your laundry on the go. All jokes aside, why on earth would you need this? We’ve all forgotten to do Sunday-night laundry. But what would be the point of washing on your way to work? And how would you dry them? We’re not even going to talk about the fact that there’s only room for underwear in there. These give a whole new meaning to the walk of shame.”

68. You don’t want to mess with these tacked gloves.

From Picuno: “It’s universally human. When we’re bored at work, we put our chins on our fists. This device will make sure you never do that again. If you forget, you’ll get a few friendly spikes to the face. That seems reasonable. We’re actually thinking of giving this to our employees. We’ll definitely make them mandatory. They’ll never doze off during our meetings again. And anyone who does will wear facial scars of shame.”

69. Now they have those denim jean shorts for men.

From Picuno: “We didn’t know there were never-nudes in Japan. This is great news. No one should have to resort to jorts in the shower.
These blue jean underpants promise to chafe like the real thing. You don’t even have to butcher your favorite pair of jeans. Has any one told Dr. Funke about this? We think he’ll be excited. We’re going to wear ours while watching Arrested Development re-runs.”

70. Stretch out those wrinkles with this mouth exerciser.

From Picuno: “No, this is not a photo from a ransom note. It’s a mouth exerciser. It’s for those pesky wrinkles around your mouth. You just cram it in your gob and fight the urge to panic. And then you squeeze on the tube to tighten your…mouth muscles. Try not to think about the fact that you look like a blow-up doll. Laughing with this in your mouth can be dangerous. And you do not want to have to explain yourself to the EMTs.”

71. Want to sleep and make people think you’re awake, try these eyes.

From Picuno: “These are stickers for sleeping at work. On the bright side, your boss won’t think you’re asleep. On the other hand, he may think that you’re a dangerous sociopath. Could you imagine walking by this guy’s desk? “John? John?!” If John’s not careful, he’s going to wake up to a security detail at his desk. Or an EMT. These belong firmly in the bad idea box. Unless you’re going to use them at home. That’ll teach them to wake you up in the morning.”

72. Keep yourself warm with this huggable microwaveable pug.

From List 25: “The super umbrella may protect you from the rain but what are you going to do when it gets cold? Forget blankets, Japan has this adorable pug to heat you up. Stick in the microwave and Voila! Out comes a toasty hot dog.”

73. Don’t go to the bathroom without these toilet shoes.

From List 25: “Japanese are famous for their strict hygiene habits and sanitary precautions so it should come as no surprise they have something like toilet slippers which are used to minimize contact between the unclean toilet floor and the clean floor of rest of the house.”

74. Keep your ass clean with Washlets.

From List 25: “Washlets or, as many people tend to say, “crazy Japanese super toilets” are electric toilet seats with a water spray feature that cleans your bum hole and genitalia. While the Japanese are totally used to this zesty feeling, foreigners getting a shot of water up their butts are usually startled to say the least.”

75. This Barack Obama action figure came with his samurai store.

Man, I miss this guy as our President so much. Luckily he has a katana to slice the Cadet Bone Spurs one apart.

76. Look stylish and block out noise with these ear plug earrings.

From Web Urbanist: “Wearing these earrings might just serve as a warning to those around you that if they start to bore you with their irritating stories or demands that you file those TPS reports right away, you can block them out within seconds.”

77. Reach out for more food with this Extendo Spoon.

From Web Urbanist: “Here’s an invention that’s truly almost useful – can’t you imagine needing something like this when camping, for example? The spoon extends so you can reach the bottom of a tall jar.”

78. Like to wipe off food from your pants. Get napkin pants.

From Web Urbanist: “Since you’re too lazy to use a real napkin anyway, you might as well spare your pants the grease marks and get yourself a pair of classy Napkin Pants.”

79. Get a thumb on things with an Extra Nail.

From Web Urbanist: “You can almost hear an infomercial excitedly telling you that you’ll never break another nail. Need to peel an orange? Open a letter? Pierce someone’s jugular? Why carry around ice picks or letter openers when you can wear a Halloween prop?”

80. Keep your runny nose in check with Booger Keepers.

From Web Urbanist: “Perhaps this is the alternative to the Toilet Roll Hat: plugs for your nostrils.” Kind of resembles a couple of screws inside to me.

81. Keep your hands out of harm’s way with this handy chopper.

From Web Urbanist: “Don’t cut your own fingertips off when you could sacrifice someone else’s.” Let’s hope it’s not from a strangler or a serial killer.

82.  Color Me Shave allows you to shave with any color of cream you want.

Though I’m not sure if a guy would want to shave with hot pink shaving cream. Seems more appropriate on women’s legs.

83. Bleach your asshole with Pinky Wink Butthole Bleach.

From Topick Craze: “Butthole bleach MyPinkWink – This product does not need any explanations. But ‘MyPinkWink’? Seriously, Japan?”

84. Cool yourself outside with a pair of air-conditioned pants.

The kind of pants worn by construction workers. Comes with an air-conditioned jacket.

85. Wear fan glasses so you won’t have to cry when cutting onions.

This pair has fans on it. Sure it might help you cut onions. But will make you seem ridiculous in the kitchen.

86. Save energy with this foot hairdryer.

Unfortunately, you probably won’t get your hair dried in time for work. So you’ll be wearing this thing on the street for onlookers to laugh at.

87. Record your baby’s sound with this womb monitor.

Look, I understand that parents want to record special moments in their kids’ lives. But this is a bit too soon so to speak.

88. Brush your teeth with this finger brush.

So how does brushing your teeth with your finger work exactly? Because I don’t get it.

89. Wake up to a pair of alarm earphones.

You can program it to vibrate whenever you want. Though you’d be hitting the snooze every 5 minutes when it does.

90. It always helps to have a pillow on you at all times.

Sure she might seem like she’s straight from your nightmares. But at least she’ll be comfy.

91. Know what you’ve burned when you need a cab with a Taxi Walker.

From Kick Vick which says it’s, “A device that not only tells you how many calories you burned at the end of your walk but also how much money your journey would have cost in a taxi.”

92. Keep your office supplies in one place in this tie.

That way, you’ll have everything on you. Literally. Still, might weigh you down.

93. This will collect all the rainwater you need.

Consists of a pipe, upside down umbrella, and a large water bottle. Now you can collect water as you walk.

94. Snap a picture in the rain with this camera umbrella.

Seems like the Japanese have an umbrella for everything. Even for cameras and iPhones.

95. Look far in the sun with these long-range sunglasses.

Comes with telescopes you can look through. And yes, people will think you’re crazy wearing these. But you can watch your neighbors in the shower and don’t have to worry about the sunlight blaring.

96. Keep your feet cool with these air-conditioned shoes.

With all these air-conditioned clothing stuff, you’d think the Japanese live in their outfits. Yet, this guy seems happy.

97. Don’t have room to sit on the subway or bus? Use this stool.

Well, you have to sit somewhere. And I can see where a stool like that comes in handy.

98. Guys, keep your money safe in your wallet tie.

That way, nobody will steal your wallet. But you’ll have to change it sometimes.

99. Work out a sweat in this water walker.

I’m sure this doesn’t come cheap. It’s basically a combination between a treadmill and a swimming pool.

100. Use your pee for these urine batteries.

Yes, these are a thing. And no, I’m not making this up. Because this wouldn’t be something I could come up with. And yes, it’s disgusting.