You may have noticed that historical athlete jobs actually weren’t that great. Race car drivers risked their lives with little money. Players on major sports franchises used to take second jobs during the off-season and were plunged into poverty after retirement. Olympic athletes were banned if they’re caught playing professional sports. While Eastern Bloc athletes had to take steroids, were constantly monitored as political tools, had no social lives, and could get flack if they didn’t win an Olympic gold medal. Not sure what that would mean for the 1980 Soviet Hockey team. Anyway, ever imagined yourself as a ninja? Maybe you thought driving a tank during World War II was a sweet gig. And who wouldn’t want to be a governess in a period drama. In this post, we look at another ten historical jobs and their dark realities.

141. Ninja – Many movies and TV shows make being a ninja seems like a cool thing. However, the ninja reality was nothing like it was seen on the screen. Since ninjas acted more like covert agents, not a black-clad kung fu force. It also wasn’t very glamorous either. For one, ninjas had very low life expectancy and reaching 30 was uncommon. There also wasn’t any retirement so older ninjas still had to go on dangerous missions. Second, ninjas were actually just spies and secret agents, not warriors. Their job mostly comprised of sneaking around and listening to people talk. Thus, it was more about gathering secrets than having cool sword fights. Third, due to security reasons, relationships were forbidden and many ninjas led lonely lives. Fourth, training was tough and often resulted in permanent injuries. Since ninjas had to learn how to resist torture and endure extreme weather. Lastly, due to being secret spies, no one could know who was a ninja and who wasn’t. They lived in the shadows and did the “dirty work” of war, so they rarely received any public honor or rewards.

142. Witchfinder – Although being a witchfinder is more of a villainous job during the days od with hysteria, they often look pretty snazzy in their 17^th century outfits. While the real job was a rather miserable one. First, witchfinders constantly traveled between small villages, often sleeping in damp, uncomfortable inns and dealing with unpredictable, exhausting weather. Second, one of the witchfinder’s main duties was stripping suspects and shaving their bodies to find a “witch’s teat” or “witch’s mark” (claiming an extra growth or blemish where an evil spirit would drink blood). It was grueling, invasive, and deeply unglamorous process. Third, instead of using magic, witchfinders used torture and sleep deprivation. They’d force suspects (often poor or elderly women) to stay awake for days while watching them, waiting for a “familiar” (like a cat, spider, or toad) to appear. Fourth, witchfinders were professional scapegoats for communities facing natural disasters or illness. Should they fail to find a witch or accuse a beloved member of the village, they quickly became the town’s rage target. Fifth, witchfinders often performed a swimming test, where a suspect was tied up and thrown into deep water. Mainly due to the belief that pure water would “reject” the witch, causing them to float, while an innocent person would sink. Doing this meant wading into dirty, freezing waters to pull out terrified, struggling, and sometimes drowning suspects. Sixth, witchfinders only got paid if they actually convicted a witch. If an entire village paid for the witchfinder’s services but didn’t secure any convictions, he often didn’t get any money. Lastly, witchfinders are deeply remembered as villains or fools of history. After the hunts ended and witch trials were outlawed, many of them were widely hated, forced into hiding, or buried in shame.

143. Tank Driver – In 20^th century conflicts, tanks have become a feature in warfare at least since World War I. But driving these things wasn’t really a joy ride that it’s depicted in war movies. First, if you’re claustrophobic, being inside a tank was like being in Hell where temperatures could easily sour past 100 º F. Engines roared so loud to cause ear pain, and the compartment fills with thick, poisonous diesel smoke and grease. Second, drivers had to squeeze through tiny hatches. Once inside, they spent hours hunched over steering controls with almost no ability to stretch or move their legs. Third, operating a 50-70 ton is physically dangerous. Crew members often got fingers or limbs crushed by heavy metal hatches and moving track parts. Finally, unlike normal cars, tanks don’t have soft suspension. Tank drivers constantly bounced around, often causing broken bones and severe bruising just from the vehicle’s movement. Yet, on the bright side, better to be in a tank than serving on an air bomber crew or a submarine.

144. Flame Thrower – In war movies, the flame thrower is the guy who sprays infernal destruction everywhere he goes whether to destroy fields or forest brush. Yet, the life was far from wanton burning as it was one of the most dangerous jobs in the 20^th century military. First, carrying 50-70lbs of pressurized fuel made you the biggest battlefield target. Should enemy bullets hit your fuel tank, it would rupture and could either cause devastating explosions or spray you with burning fuel. Second, while modern rifles let soldiers shoot from hundreds of yards away, the flamethrower’s effective range was only about 20-50 meters. Meaning operators needed to run out into the open and get dangerously close to enemy bunkers or trenches just to use the weapon. Third, unlike what you see in war movies, flamethrowers don’t continuously spread endless carnage. Backpack tanks only held enough fuel for 10-15 seconds of total firing time. Not exactly the stuff of war cinema. Fourth, shooting a giant jet of fire in an enclosed bunker or trench didn’t just burn people. The fire also instantly sucked out all the oxygen out of the air and created toxic smoke, with operators often suffocating their enemies as well as themselves. Lastly, because flamethrowers were widely seen as terrifying and inhumane weapons, there was a known and unspoken rule that opposing soldiers rarely showed mercy to the captured flamethrower or its operators. In fact, they often executed flame throwers on the spot.

145. Firefighter – While firefighters are among the community’s most respected heroes, this wasn’t always the case. In fact, in the olden days, being a firefighter was a far different life. First, early firefighters were called “smoke eaters” since self-contained breathing apparatuses (SCBAs) didn’t exist. Instead, when going into a burning building, they simply had to hold their breath, ultimately inhaling massive amounts of thick, dangerous smoke. Second, instead of modern fire-resistant suits, historical firefighters wore heavy canvas coats and tall leather boots. Whenever this gear got wet or hot, they became incredibly heavy and offered almost no real protection against intense flames or extreme heat. Third, before introduction of public fire departments (which would be around the time of the American Civil War in the US), private insurance companies had their own fire brigades. If a building was on fire, firefighters would check the wall for a company’s metal plaque. If the building was insured by a rival, the crew would literally pack up their hoses and let it burn. Fourth, fire companies frequently fought each other in the streets for the right to put out fires and claim the insurance companies’ cash reward. It wasn’t uncommon for crews to physically brawl, slash rival hoses, or guard fire hydrants with weapons while buildings burned. Lastly, before modern government-run fire departments, volunteer and private fire crews operated as fraternal clubs (VFDs still do in some capacity). Should you be injured or killed on the job, there was no guaranteed medical care, sick leave, or financial support for your family.

146. Milkmaid – Milkmaids are often a major feature on historical farms in period shows and movies. But the real thing was a grueling job with a major benefit that paved the way for a ground-breaking medical breakthrough. First, your job didn’t just involve milking cows. You also did heavy, manual farming from 4 am until late at night. A single milkmaid could be expected to milk up to 10 cows twice a day by hand. Second, milking a cow involved repeatedly squeezing a cow’s teat using your thumb and forefinger. This repetitive motion caused painful tendon inflammation and joint stiffness known as “milker’s cramps.” This was a repetitive strain injury (RSI) leaving many women with permanently damaged hands. Third, before the days of concrete floors and automated sanitation, milking took place in dirty, wet, and drafty barns. Milkmaids spent hours kneeling on cold, damp straw in the freezing winter and sweltering summer. Fourth, cows are large, unpredictable animals. Milkmaids routinely risked being kicked, stepped on, or knocked over in cramped, slippery stalls. Finally, cows often carried a viral infection called cowpox. When milkmaids handled the infected udders, their sores were passed onto their hands. While these were rarely serious, they were painful and often irritating. Yet, ironically, getting the annoying cowpox was actually the best part of the milkmaids’ job since it often saved their lives from smallpox. Since frequent exposure to cowpox led them to develop a natural immunity to a notorious disease known to cause disfiguring scars and death. Thus, leading milkmaids being known as having clear skin. And it was this immunity that led to Dr. Edward Jenner to create the first vaccine.

147. Brewer – Historical movies and TV shows are often awash in alcoholic beverages. Yet, many have no idea of what it’s like to actually brew the stuff. First, fermentation naturally produces carbon dioxide. In poorly ventilated spaces, this invisible gas displaced oxygen, suffocating brewers who leaned too far into their vats. Speaking of the vats, they were massive wooden tubs. Brewers risked slipping into boiling hot water or plunging into vats of sticky, fermenting mash, a hazard causing tragic fatalities in early breweries. Second, before the Industrial Revolution, everything in the brewing process must be done by hand. Brewers spent hours milling grain, hauling heavy buckets of water, and stirring giant vats using large wooden oars. Because there are no modern chemical sanitizers, cleaning large wooden barrels was a nightmare. Brewers had to crawl inside tiny, freezing, or sweltering wooden kegs to scrub them clean, risking respiratory issues from mold and fumes. Third, since no one understood microbiology at the time, fermentation was a mystery. Should wild yeast or bacteria sneaked into the brew, the entire batch would turn sour or spoil, resulting in total loss of time and expensive ingredients. Fourth, should a brewer make one bad batch, water their beer down, or price-gouge customers, they risked severe penalties such as being tied to a public stool or dunked in a pond or river. Lastly, brewing required boiling massive volumes of water over open flames, making the brew house stifling, smoky, and dangerously hot, even in the dead of winter. Still, on the bright side, know that many brewers in medieval and early modern Europe were women. And it was also a rather high paying gig compared to other career paths.

148. Hobo – Traveling in ragged clothes without a home to stay in, the hobo has become an iconic image of the Great Depression. But their lives weren’t exactly what many of us imagine them to be. First, despite being seen as an unemployed homeless guy, hobos were actually migratory workers traveling the country to find jobs. And it wasn’t exactly something people aspired to be, but a last resort of the desperately poor. In addition, it also predated the Great Depression because Charlie Chaplin built a whole career playing one from the 1910s. Second, railroads were a constant danger zone. Railroad companies hired security guards called “railroad bulls” who were notoriously heavily armed and violently beating or arresting anyone caught sneaking onto a freight train. Thus, the line in “The Big Rock Candy Mountain” about the railroad bulls being blind. Despite what you see in movies, hopping onto fast-moving trains requires precise timing. Many hobos were killed or had their limbs severed by falling under the steel wheels. In fact, records show that nearly 50,000 “tramps” were killed by freight trains between 1898-1908 alone. Should a hobo get lucky to jump into a boxcar, hiding inside one risked freezing to death in the winter or suffocating in long, unventilated railway tunnels. Second, sleeping outdoors or in drafty train cars meant hobos were completely at the mercy of freezing winters, baking summers, and torrential rain. If a hobo got sick or got injured on the road, they didn’t have access to hospitals or medicine. Without medical care or antibiotics, minor infections or illnesses were often deadly. Third, finding enough to eat was a daily, exhausting struggle. Because they didn’t have money, hobos had to beg door-to-door, dig through garbage, or hunt for scraps to make communal meals called “Mulligan’s stew.” Didn’t help that many towns passed strict laws against vagrancy (homelessness or unemployment) and actively drove hobos out. Travelers had to rely on a secret system of chalk marks on walls known as the Hobo Code, to figure out which towns were safe and which had angry police or hostile locals. Finally, despite that many hobos were just hardworking laborers displaced by poor economic times, society treated them like criminals, outcasts, or “bums” who simply refused to work. They faced heavy discrimination and were seen with deep suspicion wherever they traveled. Leaving home also meant giving up family support and a permanent roof over one’s head. The nomadic lifestyle was incredibly lonely and because of the harsh living conditions, very few hobos lived to old age. And that’s not getting into all the folk music.

149. Glassmaker – At any Renaissance Festival, you’d always see a glassmaker showing how glass is made. Yet in history, being a glassmaker wasn’t exactly the theme park version. First, in 13^th century Venice, the glassmakers’ guild on the island of Murano closely guarded their techniques. To prevent leaks, the state forbade them from leaving. Should a glassmaker flee, the guild may imprison his family or even send assassins to eliminate him. Second, furnaces routinely operated at thousands of degrees, causing extreme heat exhaustion. Workers constantly faced severe heatstroke, dehydration, and a serious risk of losing their sight from the brilliant, unfiltered light of the molten batch. Third, glassmakers inhaled toxic fumes, such as lead (for leaded glass), arsenic, and various heavy metals used to color the glass. Many suffered from severe respiratory ailments and shortened life expectancies. Fourth, glass factories heavily relied on child labor. Unskilled laborers were relegated to the hottest, most dangerous parts of the floor. Lastly, before modern gas and electric furnaces, glassmakers relied on vast amounts of wood. In places like medieval Britain, this led to workshops being banished to deep forests, with entire operations moving constantly as the surrounding trees were depleted for fuel.

150. Governess – In period dramas, the governess is often a go-to job for a female protagonist. Often becoming a love interest for her student’s older brother, guardian, or widowed dad. In reality, most governesses didn’t get this happy ending. For one, this was a fallen on hard times job for an educated but impoverished gentlewoman. Many women took this job when their families went bankrupt. Wages were meager and she was expected to maintain a specific, modest, and proper wardrobe. Should she lose her job or get sick, her lack of savings meant a rapid descent into absolute poverty. Second, she was socially marooned within her employer’s estate. Due to her “genteel” background, she couldn’t socialize with working class servants. However, as hired help, she was entirely excluded from upper-class social life and treated with condescension by the parents. Third, she was typically forced to eat solitary meals, spend evenings alone in unheated attic rooms, and had a severely restricted personal life. She wasn’t allowed to make friends with the staff or participate in the family’s leisure time. Fourth, unlike other staff, she was virtually on call 24/7. As she’s responsible for the continuous education and moral upbringing of the girls and younger boys. So they had to enforce strict rules while receiving little or no respect from the kids themselves. Finally, because she was isolated and without family support nearby, she was incredibly vulnerable to exploitation. Like maids and other female servants, she frequently faced unwanted sexual advances from male household members or guests. So much for romance.

Sometimes many of the crap jobs were often essential. Camp followers weren’t often treated with the respect they deserve, but they kept an army running. Tanners and chandlers were shunned by made essential products no one could do without. While frontier schoolteachers were force to crash at with their students’ families due to their crappy pay but taught children in isolated rural areas. Anyway, ever imagined yourself as an Olympic athlete in the olden days? How about serving in a calvary or Mongol hordes? Or even a G-Man hunting gangers. Here’s another post of ten more historical jobs and their dark realities.

131. Boxer – In historical pieces, you often come across an old-time boxing match. Yet, the boxer reality was nothing you could swipe at. First, while modern boxing matches usually go 12 rounds, historical boxing matches often required fighters to go 15, 20, or even unlimited number of rounds until someone was knocked out. This meant fighters had to pace themselves differently and take a massive amount of damage over an hour or more in fighting. Second, boxers had to rely on less padded gloves, making every punch more damaging. Common injuries comprised of concussions, detached retinas, broken ribs, and severe facial scarring. There were no ringside doctors checking for brain injuries and “fighting through pain” was a mandatory survival skill rather than a heroic choice. Sometimes they even died in the ring like Frankie Campbell in his fight with Max Baer, haunting the latter for the rest of his life. Third, while a few famous boxers made good money, the rest were horribly exploited by corrupt managers and promoters. Fighters rarely saw their fair share of their purses. They had to fight multiple times a month, sometimes days apart to survive. This made them easy prey to long-term brain damage. Lastly, although boxing was one of thew sports black fighters could participate in, but they faced severe institutional racism. Even when undeniably the best in the world, black champions like Jack Johnson and Joe Gans were often barred from fighting for the heavyweight title, forced to carry the weight of intense societal prejudice, or pressure to “throw” fights.

132. Olympic Athlete – Today, being an Olympic athlete is to compete amongst the best of the best. Yet, in the olden days, the life could be brutal. Ancient Greek athletes competed naked in the burning sun, covered only in olive oil to protect their skin from the heat and the wind (not sure how that worked). No weight classes or medical teams existed, meaning frequent and brutal injuries. There were no silver or bronze medals. You either won or lost everything. Cheaters were publicly whipped or heavily fined. While married women were strictly forbidden from watching the games under penalty of death. In the modern Olympics, let’s look at the American athlete Jim Thorpe, said to be the greatest modern athlete the world had ever seen. Only to be stripped of his Olympic medals once he was found to have played semi-pro sports under his own name. Because during the 20^th century, Olympic rules required athletes to be strict amateurs. If they made any money playing a sport like Thorpe did, they were instantly banned. While many athletes starved or went bankrupt trying to train full-time without getting paid.

133. Saloon Girl – Providing entertainment for the weary traveler, saloon girls are always dressed well and serve with a smile. But life as an Old West saloon girl was far from a glamorous one. First, despite being depicted wearing sparkling, high-end dresses, many saloon girls were widows, orphans, or refugees from farms or mills. They wore what they could, often breathing secondhand smoke and working in stifling heat. Second, a major part of a saloon girl’s job was encouraging men to buy drinks. While the customers paid high prices for real whiskey, the girls were usually served colored sugar water or weak cold tea. The women lived off small wages and a percentage of these overpriced drinks, so they had to constantly hustle to make ends meet. Third, saloons were lawless places filled with armed men, heavy drinking, and gambling. Brawls, accidental shootings, and violence were common hazards that many Old West towns and establishments had gun control measures. While saloon owners often protected their employees from out-of-line customers, the threat of danger was always there. Fourth, because they worked in male-dominated spaces, saloon girls weren’t seen as “proper” women. Respectable society shunned them and they were often lumped together with prostitutes, making it nearly impossible to leave that life and find traditional employment. Lastly, hygiene was incredibly poor, saloons were poorly ventilated, and frontier medical care was limited. Saloon girls dealt with the constant threat of infectious diseases, and an unplanned pregnancy meant the end of their career, as birth control was virtually nonexistent.

134. Rum Runner – With their fast shifts to avoid the law, the rum runner was often a daring figure of 1920s Prohibition America. But the reality was often fast and short. First, rum runners often raced in the dark without lights to avoid being seen. Unsurprisingly, this resulted in frequent, deadly collisions with sandbars, reefs, and other ships. US Coast Guard aggressively patrolled the waters and didn’t hesitate to fire upon smugglers. If caught, crews faced devastating $10,000 fines, prison time, and losing their boats. Second, the rum runner’s most terrifying threat wasn’t police but other criminals. Armed hoodlums known as “go-through guys” waited in fast, heavily armed boats. They specialized in hijacking rum runners to steal the booze and cash. These hijackers frequently killed crews and sank the ships to leave no witnesses. Third, smuggling wasn’t just confined to sunny southern waters prone to hurricanes. Rum runners also navigated through the Atlantic and the Great Lakes’ stormy coasts. Crews had to endure sub-freezing temperatures, icy waters, and towering, dangerous waves. Many captains and deckhands simply froze to death or were lost at sea during severe winter storms. Fourth, moving thousands of heavy cases of booze was a physical nightmare. Crews had to transfer fragile glass bottles from large “motherships” sitting in international waters to smaller, faster boats. This often happened in total darkness, freezing rain, and high winds. Heavy lifting and intense stress took a major toll on the body. Fifth, as in many professions operating outside the law, trust was difficult to come by. Rum runners were constantly worried that corrupt officials, rivals, and their own nervous crew members would leak their drop-off schedules and locations to the police or rival gangs. Finally, to outrun the Coast Guard, runners constantly monitored their boats, putting incredible strain on their engines. The boats were frequently broken down, requiring immense repairs, and sometimes failed right when they needed to escape the authorities.

135. Ship’s Carpenter – Although not a glamorized position on a wooden ship, a ship’s carpenter was essential and deeply underappreciated part of the crew. Yet, their lives weren’t always chippy. During naval battles or pirate attacks, a ship’s carpenter couldn’t fight. Instead they had to remain below deck near the waterline, armed with wooden wedges and hammers. All while cannonballs smashed through the wood around them, their job was to frantically jam wedges into the holes to keep the ship from sinking. Second, since wooden ships were constantly twisting and bending in the water, causing the planks to loosen and leak. Ship carpenters spent endless days hammer-packing oakum (crushed ropes mixed with tar) into gaps within the ship’s wood to keep the ocean out. This was impossible work needing to be repeated every time a ship sailed. Third, beyond woodwork, carpenters were responsible for the ship’s grimmest work. When a sailor died at sea, the carpenter had to stitch the body into a canvas burial shroud and build any necessary weights before the funeral at sea. Fifth, a ship’s carpenter’s tools had to be in perfect condition at all times. They also had other responsibilities. Sounding a well meant dropping a measuring stick to the ship’s bottom to see how much sea water had leaked in, ensuring the crew didn’t sink overnight. Mending the masts involved splinting shattered wooden masts high above the deck during wild storms so the ship could keep moving. While measuring water comprised of carefully managing the ship’s drinking water barrels and fixing any that began leaking. Lastly, should a ship’s carpenter die or fail, the entire ship could sink or break apart at sea. Let’s hope these unsung heroes were paid their proper due because their work on the ship was often a matter of life or death. Since these guys deserve much more glory than they’re given.

136. Cavalryman – Riding on a horse, the calvary have always been known to show up at the last minute in many westerns. But despite the glamor in movies, the life of a cavalry man was far from a ride into the sunset. For one, you had to really love horses that you’re willing to center your entire life around one. Because your horse wasn’t just a cool pet but your weapon and needs more attention and care than you did. In fact, you have to brush, scrub, and check your horse for injuries every day. Even a simple saddle blister could put you and your horse out of commission. Horses also need lots of water every single day, drinking as much as 13 gallons on a summer campaign just to survive. Before running water, finding and lugging this much water was a constant logistical nightmare. Horses also eat a massive amount of food and are massive pooping machines. Cleaning up after them, maintaining their heavy leather gear, and keeping them from deadly illnesses like colic was back-breaking work. Second, because you sat on a giant, tall animal, you were a very easy target for archers and later, anyone with a rifle or cannon. In gunpowder eras, a group of horses was the very first thing enemy cannons aimed at. With cannonballs skipping across the ground throwing riders and shattering horses’ legs. If you’re sent to attack foot soldiers, you usually couldn’t just trample them. Disciplined soldiers often packed tightly together and created a wall of spears, pikes, or bayonets. A horse’s instinct is to avoid running into sharp objects, making direct charges incredibly difficult and dangerous. Third, military technology was rarely on your side. Rifled muskets and rapid-fire machine guns made massive cavalry charges almost impossible to survive. Charging a gun line meant getting picked off long before you ever got close enough to swing a sword. Maintaining a cavalry army was incredibly expensive. Governments could often equip and train 8 foot soldiers at the cost of one single cavalryman. So despite being highly valued, you were under-supported. Lastly, riding a horse for hundreds of miles was terrible for human joints. Cavalrymen often suffered from severe back pain, chafed skin, and saddle sores that easily became infected. Furthermore, falling off a horse during a chaotic battle or have a wounded horse collapse on top of you frequently resulted in broken bones or death.

137. Wet Nurse – Sent for when there’s a new baby, a wetnurse always cared for children who came from richer families than they did. But their life can often be a thankless slog. For one, unless you’re Moses’ mother Jochebed, wet nurses often had to leave their own newborn babies behind. Because wet nurses couldn’t feed their own babies, these children often suffered from malnutrition or faced much higher death rates. Second, lactation requires a massive amount of calories and energy. Wet nurses had to constantly produce milk for months, sometimes up to 3 years. This led to physical exhaustion, severe nipple chafing, and general burnout. Third, employers dictated every aspect of a wet nurse’s life. They were told what to eat, forbidden from drinking alcohol, and strictly banned from having sexual intercourse, as employers believed it would “spoil” the milk. Fourth, in many historical eras, such as during American slavery, the role was deeply traumatic. Enslaved women were forced to nurse their enslaver’s children while neglecting their own babies, suffering under the constant threat of family separation, physical punishment, or sexual assault. Fifth, before modern medicine, people didn’t know a thing about germs. If the employer’s baby got sick or died as it often happened, the wet nurse was frequently blamed and fired. All despite having no medical knowledge to prevent the illness. Lastly, since wealthy families feared a wet nurse’s milk would transfer bad traits into their baby, wet nurses were heavily judged, controlled, and micromanaged on irrational superstitions.

138. Mongol Raider – During the Middle Ages, nothing could put the frights to people than the legions of Genghis Khan’s horseback raiders. But the life was anything but glorious. For one, the vast plains of the Eurasian Steppe feature freezing winters and scorching summers. Raiding parties covered hundreds of miles on horseback, constantly enduring these extremes. Despite being part of the force that amassed the largest land empire in history, Mongol raiders didn’t enjoy grand feasts on the road. Just mainly dairy products and horse meat. Should food run low, they’d slice into their horse’s veins and drink their blood for survival. And if wounded by enemy arrows, spears, or stones, expect your medical care to be extremely basic and infections often deadly. Second, Mongol military law strictly ran under Yassa (a code of law Genghis Khan created). Abandon your post or flee battle, you and your entire 10-man unit was often executed. While young and old alike were required to participate in massive, months long, circular winter hunts (nerge). These were designed to stimulate the horrors and exhaustion of real battles. While every raider had to take care of 3-5 horses, meaning constantly feeding, grooming, and managing the animals. Even if you’re already completely worn out from fighting. Third, campaigns were long with raiders often separated from their families for years at a time. Mongol tactics required raiders to move incredibly fast, feign retreats to lure enemies into traps, and act as the first wave in dangerous sieges. Raiders took the brunt of heavy enemy fire. Because the Mongols’ entire society was a military machine, women at home had to manage massive herds, set up and take down heavy felt tents (gers), and protect themselves if attacked while all the men were away.

139. G-Man – Fighting interstate crime during Prohibition and the 1930s, the G-Man was often depicted as the FBI’s finest. But being an early FBI agent wasn’t all glory in catching bad guys. First, strict dress codes had agents wearing a suit, tie, and fedora hat even in the hottest and most humid summer weather. Because FBI director J. Edgar Hoover strictly forbade “short-sleeve” attire so you had to risk heat stroke just to look sharp. Speaking of Hoover, he was FBI boss for almost 50 years and a nightmare micromanaging boss willing to fire people for even minor mistakes. One minute late, one typo, or scuffed shoes could mean your career over in a heartbeat. Hunting down notorious monsters and bank robbers like John Dillinger and Baby-Face Nelson meant working non-stop. When a major case was happening, sleep was rare and weekends didn’t exist. Starting in the 1950s and 1960s, Hoover forced agents to perform secret and illegal wiretaps. Agents had to sneak around, placing hidden microphones, often knowing their boss’s surveillance went far beyond catching actual criminals and included spying on civil rights leaders and politicians. And yes, that meant tapping on Martin Luther King Jr. Finally, unlike modern desk jobs, historical G-men faced heavily armed outlaws and mafia bosses. It was a stressful life, where every footstep in a dark alley could put your life on the line.

140. Eastern Bloc Athlete – As a representative of an Eastern European country, these athletes competed with the western world to show feats of strength and speed. However, the life of one was often as a political tool. First, as an Eastern Bloc athlete during the Cold War, taking anabolic steroids weren’t optional. Even athletes as young as 12 years old were administered these “little blue pills” by team doctors. Of course, they’d often be told they were just “vitamins” or medicine to ensure a faster recovery. But this hidden doping left athletes with severe, lasting health issues, including liver disease, heart disease, and reproductive problems. Especially if the women’s team levels are high enough for them to pass as men. Second, Eastern Bloc athletes were considered government party and treated as tools to prove communism as the best system in the world. State police heavily watched, listened to, and controlled these athletes so nobody would try to escape. Even when competing globally, they were heavily supervised and rarely allowed to mix with people from other foreign countries. While failing to win a gold medal could result in losing state funding, getting demoted, or being banned from the sport entirely. So watch out for the 1980 men’s US Hockey Team. Third, since the Olympics only allowed “amateurs” during the Cold War, Eastern Bloc countries gave them fake jobs in the military or police forces. Even though they were expected to be professionals who trained all day, every day. Thus, meaning their sport consumed their entire life, leaving no room for a personal life or education. Lastly, because living conditions were poor under communist regimes and athletes could see how the rest of the world lived during their travels, many wanted to escape. But keep in mind that defecting means leaving friends and family forever. And that if you flee, the government might punish the loved ones you leave behind.

              When it comes to certain law enforcement occupations, you tend to noticed how many of them weren’t always well-liked. Despite how our elders say that cops were respected in the olden days, historical evidence showed that the general public often saw them as thugs for the rich and powerful. And most ordinary citizens weren’t above committing physical violence against them. Customs officers went after criminals that much of the public saw as prominent figures of society and weren’t too happy to see them arrested. While Old West lawmen had their work cut out for them. Anyway, have you ever imagined yourself an alchemist trying to concoct the elixir of life? How about a brave muckraking journalist exposing systemic injustice? Or maybe even a court painter painting portraits of the royal family. In this post, here are ten more historical professions that seemed cooler on the screen than they actually were.

121. Inquisitor – Sure, we may not like these heretic persecuting inquisitors who love to torture and burn hapless victims at the stake. All because they disagree with some precepts of the Catholic Church. But the inquisitor life wasn’t the torture happy fun time it’s cracked up to be. First, inquisitors were mostly highly educated lawyers, priests, and judges whose days involved reading legal texts, recording testimonies, and managing mountains of paperwork. Rules required inquisitors to write down exactly what the accused said. Sometimes trials required a minimum of multiple witnesses to secure a conviction. Should those witnesses die or change their stories, the inquisitor’s case fell apart and they had to start over. Thus, daily life was less like Scorch Dave Saturday and more like a religion-oriented assistant district attorney. Second, inquisitors often traveled from town to town to set up temporary tribunals. Given that they lived during the medieval and early modern eras, this meant riding horses or walking on muddy roads for weeks. But when the inquisitor came to town, locals often treated them with suspicion. As their status as an outsider threatened local traditions and political structures. Third, inquisitors investigated several powerful, rich heretics or secret religious groups with a lot to lose. Because trials could result in prison or property loss, they were frequent targets of revenge, poisonings, and assassination attempts. Proof that even when it comes to religious doctrines, rich people would do anything to avoid accountability. Fourth, inquisitors were caught in the middle of intense political fights between the Catholic Church and local monarchs. Rulers often wanted inquisitors to find people guilty to help take away power and property from their local rivals. Should inquisitors be too lenient, local rulers could accuse them of being too soft and punish them. Should the inquisitors be too harsh, they could receive a reprimand from the Pope. Fifth, interrogators spent hours questioning suspects. If torture was eventually approved (which only happened in a minority of cases and under strict medical rules), the inquisitor had to be present to oversee it. Listening to screams and dealing with the psychological weight of putting fellow human beings on trial took a massive toll. Finally, many inquisitors were monks or priests pulled away from their scholarly, religious lives to do this difficult, dangerous detective work. They weren’t getting rich from the job. While many just simply wanted to finish their terms so they could return to their monasteries. So inquisitors were less like torture-happy religious fanatics and more like US attorneys working for the Trump administration on Game of Thrones.

122. Barnstormer – Anyone who’s watched anything on early flight may be familiar with the idea of the daring barnstormer doing a wide range of aerial stunts during the 1920s. But their life was often dangerous and short. First, pilots flew surplus World War I planes like the Curtiss JN-4 “Jenny,” which were mostly made from wood and canvas as well as can only go up to 75 mph. Stunts like wing-walking, mid-air plane-swapping, and flying through barns could be extremely dangerous. Crashes and fatalities were common and pilots spent months in hospitals. Second, barnstormers traveled from town to town looking for open farm fields to use as temporary runways. They were essentially independent gig-workers entirely dependent on ticket sales and passenger rides to pay for their food, lodging, and gas. They were frequently forced to sleep on the ground and even on their airplanes’ wings. Third, despite death-defying feats, barnstormers were generally not well paid. Due to the difficulty making a living, many of these pilots often had to take second jobs during the winter off-season as mechanics, gas station attendants, or flight instructors. Finally, the extreme danger and highly publicized accidents eventually forced the US government to step in. The Air Commerce Act of 1926 introduced strict pilot licensing, mandatory aircraft maintenance, and flight rules. Later, stricter rules made it impossible for barnstormers to perform their tricks at low altitudes and the military stopped selling the cheap, surplus planes they relied on.

123. Kamikaze Pilot – Oh, yes, those Japanese World War II pilots who would rather crash into the battleship than live another day in dishonor. These men have been romanticized as willing suicide bombers. However, the reality was way grimmer. Sure, the kamikaze program relied on volunteers. In reality, commanders manipulated young men with peer pressure. They were often gathered in a room and told to step forward if they didn’t want to volunteer. Due to heavy Bushido code influence in the military (that prioritized loyalty and death before dishonor), stepping forward meant bringing public shame to themselves and their families. So kamikaze pilots volunteered like Katniss Everdeen did in the Hunger Games. Second, during the later years of World War II, Japan was running out of resources, fuel, and experienced instructors. Because pilots were going on a one-way trip their training rarely included landing. So they were simply taught how to take off, fly straight, and dive. Third, the assigned aircraft to these missions was often outdated, obsolete, and poorly maintained.  They were no match for superior aircraft, patrolling fighters, and heavy anti-aircraft artillery from the Allied (mainly American) forces. Fourth, this was a highly ineffective strategy with an estimated 14-19% of kamikaze pilots actually hitting their targeted ships. American defenses shot many of them down long before they could reach their targets. Lastly, kamikaze pilots sat in cockpits knowing that their fate was sealed. Despite propaganda framing them as heroes, many wrote in their final letters about their fear accused the military of incompetence and senseless waste. If a pilot aborted the mission due to bad weather or mechanical failure, they were sent back again, and repeated failures could result in execution for cowardice.

124. Photographer – Although photographer seems like a rather simple job involving taking a picture and developing pictures in a dark room, early photography production wasn’t like it is now. Because the guys who took those pictures for the Ken Burns Civil War documentary had to go through so much just to document this conflict.  First, before modern film, taking a picture required the wet-plate collodion process. This wasn’t just all about loading a camera and clicking a button. No, this involved mixing glass plates with toxic, flammable, and foul-smelling chemicals (like nitrate and ether) right there on the spot. If you were a traveling photographer, you had to drag a heavy, pitch-black portable darkroom tent everywhere you went. Second, 19^th century cameras were massive wooden boxes mounted on heavy tripods. A typical kit including a camera, glass plates, heavy glass lenses, a tripod, and bottles of liquid chemicals could easily weigh over 100lbs. If you wanted to take a picture of a mountain or battlefield, you had to hike up all that gear up the hill yourself. Third, the chemicals used to capture and print photos were incredibly dangerous. Breathing in ether and cyanide fumes all day caused severe headaches, dizziness, and sometimes fainting. Flash powder (used to light dark outdoor shots before flashbulbs) was made by mixing magnesium with highly volatile ingredients. Should it ignite too close to you, it can cause severe burns or fatal explosions. Fourth, because coating glass plates was a manual process, even a tiny speck of dust could ruin a picture. You had a very small window of time to get it right: the glass plate had to stay wet through the entire exposure and development process. If the plate dried before you snapped the photo, the image wouldn’t show up. Lastly, early cameras took a long time to soak up enough light to make a picture. If you were shooting a portrait, your subject had to sit completely still for several seconds to minutes. Photographers often used metal clamps hiding behind the subject’s head just to force them to stay perfectly still without twitching and blinking. Think about how Matthew Brady and Co. went above and beyond to get all that Civil War footage next time you hear “Ashoka Farewell.”

125. Alchemist – Whether it’s to turn lead into gold or make an elixir of life, alchemists always seemed to toil in their laboratories and look good doing it. Yet, all that glitters in this profession wasn’t gold. First, the job was very dangerous. Alchemists spent hours handling dangerous elements like lead, mercury, arsenic, and sulfur. Prolonged exposure led to sever health issues, including nerve damage, organ failure, and madness (the origin of the “mad hatter” concept). Experiments were highly volatile. Mishandling chemicals or misjudging temperatures often caused fires or outright explosions. Because this was at time when modern science was in its infancy, there was no safety gear. Many alchemists poisoned themselves or burned down their workspaces. Second, rare chemicals, specialized glass, and high-quality charcoal for furnaces were incredibly expensive. Many alchemists spent their entire life savings trying to turn cheap metals into gold (the process of transmutation), leaving them broke.  Third, although kings and nobles frequently sponsored alchemists, they expected them to make good on promises even if it’s to make gold or the elixir of life. If they failed to deliver as so often the case, they could face imprisonment or execution for fraud. Because monarchs often locked alchemists away to force them to produce wealth exclusively for the crown, they frequently worked in isolated, prison-like conditions. Lastly, alchemists spent thousands of hours searching for the “Philosopher’s Stone” (a mythical substance that could grant immortality and turn lead into gold). Only to chase impossible goals that didn’t really exist. They also wrote notes in complex, confusing symbols and metaphors (like the “Green Lion” or the “King’s Bath”) to keep their secrets safe. This made it nearly impossible to learn from one another, slowing scientific progress.

126. Muckraking Journalist – During the Progressive Era, investigative journalists like Upton Sinclair, Ida Tarbell, Nellie Bly, Ida B. Wells, and others exposed societal problems and injustices through books, articles, and other media. But it was an exhausting, dangerous, and even lonely job. For one, exposing mob bosses, corrupt politicians, or violent company heads put a massive target on the reporter’s back. They were frequently threatened, assaulted, censored, and even murdered for getting too close to the truth. Second, the job required endless hours of grueling work. Journalists spent months or even years digging through dusty, complicated court and government documents, conducting endless interviews, or going undercover in dangerous conditions (like filthy factories and slums) to gather proof. Nellie Bly once pretended to be a mad woman to write about conditions in an insane asylum. Although she easily got in, she had a very difficult time getting out even after she dropped the act. Of course, this was due to sexism. Third, powerful companies had bottomless pockets. When journalists exposed corporate greed or dangerous working conditions, wealthy targets often fought back by hiring teams of lawyers to file expensive lawsuits designed to bankrupt the journalists and their publications. Fourt, muckraking journalism was expensive to produce but difficult to monetize. Many magazines and newspapers went out of business when the wealthy targets of their expose retaliated by pulling their advertising dollars. Finally, even when they successfully exposed corruption, reporters were often attacked by the very public and politicians they were trying to help. President Theodore Roosevelt famously branded these reporters as “muckrakers” comparing them to the character in a story who obsessed with looking at the dirt on the floor that he ignored everything else. However, in defense, if it wasn’t for Upton Sinclair working undercover in the slaughterhouses, we wouldn’t have food safety regulations or the FDA. Ida Tarbell exposed Standard Oil and brought John D. Rockefeller to his knees with the US government breaking up his company in 32 different factions. While Ida B. Wells exposed the evils of lynching as a tool to retain white supremacy in the South.

127. Sheriff – Whether going against Robin Hood in Nottingham or in the Old West, a sheriff was always the guy charged to keep law and order within a town. But the real thing was a largely miserable gig. First, on the American frontier and the Thirteen Colonies, law enforcement was just a fraction of the job. Sheriffs were heavily tasked with collecting property taxes, serving civil court papers, dealing with land disputes, and handling livestock. Medieval sheriffs (called shire reeves) were the king’s personal taxmen, making the peasants they taxed universally hate them. Second, during the 1880s, American sheriffs were paid through a “fee system” rather than a set salary. Meaning they earned money directly from the arrests they made, warrants served, and miles traveled. Because of this, sheriffs were heavily incentivized to spend massive amounts of time on the road doing tedious paperwork to get paid. Failing to balance the budget meant the government could take the loss out of their own pockets. Third, despite depictions as swift bringers of justice, historical lawmen constantly faced lethal threats. Having a fierce reputation often meant outlaws or vengeful gangs actively sought them out to make a name for themselves. Since sheriffs had little backup, they relied on posse comitatus, which is conscripting normal, untrained local citizens to hunt down criminals. This could sometimes escalate into bloody feuds, like the Lincoln County War in New Mexico. Lastly, sheriff was a powerful aristocratic position in medieval England that nobody wanted. Because the job required hosting royal judges, maintaining the local castle, and paying tributes to the crown, it was so notoriously expensive that many nobles spent their entire fortunes and actively avoided being chosen.

128. Camp Follower – In the American imagination, Molly Pitcher often embodies the iconic contributions of camp followers during the American Revolution. However, in reality, camp followers were often the unsung heroes in war who acted as the backbone of the army’s support system and often didn’t get the respect they truly deserve. Especially since many of these people comprised of women and children who accompanied their husbands and fathers with their armies. For one, as the backbone for the army’s support system, they did all the unglamorous work to keep the camps running: laundry, cooking, mending uniforms, and nursing sick soldiers. And yes, some did bring water to exhausted soldiers and shot cannons. While tasks that modern armies use machines and logistics for were done entirely by hand. So followers worked from sunrise to sunset in all weather conditions. Second, since camps were muddy, cramped, and lacked proper plumbing, diseases like dysentery, typhus and smallpox spread rapidly, putting them and their kids at severe risk of sickness and death. Third, since armies struggled to feed their actual fighting men, camp followers usually received only half or a quarter of a standard soldier’s food ration. Thus, in order to survive, they had to forage extra wild food, plants, or firewood, making their daily survival a guessing game. Fourth, followers had to keep up with the army’s movements which meant walking miles alongside heavy wagons. They marched through blazing summers and freezing winters. If the army was forced to retreat, the followers and their children were forced to flee alongside the troops, picking up their entire lives at a moment’s notice. Fifth, following an army meant living directly in a war zone. Should an army be attacked or had to retreat, followers were caught in the crossfire while facing brutal treatment, starvation, or even enslavement by opposing forces. Lastly, despite doing necessary work to keep the army going, they received very little respect. During periods like the American Revolution or the American Civil War, many people looked down on camp followers, viewing them as a burden or unfairly assuming they were only there for illicit activities. 

129. Fashion Model – In the popular imagination, fashion models from bygone days seem to evoke a kind of wholesome nostalgia. However, modeling back in the day wasn’t what it was cracked up to be. For one, in the late 19^th and early 20^th century, modeling wasn’t considered a respectable profession. Because models made a living displaying their bodies, society frequently compared them to courtesans or prostitutes. To protect their reputations and project modesty, models often had to wear dark, unglamorous sheaths underneath the designer. Second, models acted like human mannequins so they had to wear exactly what the designer dictated, no matter how painful or dangerous. Before the 1920s, models were routinely laced into tight corsets to achieve the exaggerated silhouette (like the Victorian hourglass), which restricted their breathing as well as caused fainting or organ displacement. They also frequently wore dresses dyed with arsenic, causing severe skin lesions or garments coated with flammable materials. Third, before the rise of modern labor protections, modeling was notoriously precarious. Since department stores initially viewed modeling as a sales expense, models were mostly paid very little, often in clothes than cash. In international markets (which began booming in the mid-to late 20^th century), young models were often flown to hubs like Tokyo or Milan. They were immediately placed into debt for housing, travel, and portfolio fees, leaving many with no actual earnings at the end of their trip. Finally, the industry was incredibly controlling of a model’s physical appearance. Agents and executives routinely what a model could or couldn’t look like. Models were frequently pressured to undergo plastic surgery, remove moles, and drastically alter their bodies if they wanted to work. Before the CFDA and Model Alliance began lobbying for models’ health and wellness in the 21^st century, legal safeguards were virtually non-existent. Models had to endure rampant sexual harassment and exploitation with little recourse.

130. Court Painter -On the surface, being a court painter seemed like a sweet gig, since it meant receiving a steady paycheck. But the reality was no masterpiece. First, famous painters like the Limbourg brothers, Jan Van Eyck, and Diego Valesquez were officially classified as valets. This meant living in the servants’ wing, wearing a uniform, and being available 24/7 to carry out whatever tasks the king wanted. Second, although the best part of the job was making grand, original portraits, the worst part was painting dozens of identical copies. Before cameras, these paintings were handed out to allies and foreign nobles as diplomatic gifts. You spent years grinding paint and churning out replicas. Third, by the way, royal patrons didn’t want realistic art. They wanted to look like flawless gods, which would be a challenge if you work for the Spanish Hapsburgs. You had to make ugly kings look handsome, old queens look young, and fix physical deformities caused by royal inbreeding. If a ruler didn’t like how they looked, your reputation and sometimes your head was on the line. Fourth, although Francisco Goya was able to get away with depicting the Spanish Bourbons in a highly unflattering light, artists who painted the truth instead of lies often faced harsh punishments. Lastly, as a court painter, your career was tied to the ruler’s lifespan. If your patron died or was overthrown, you were often out of a job or forced to win over a brand-new boss who may not even like your style.

              While we may have a serene view of people in professions like printer and scribe, both had rather rough lives than you’d expect. Printers had to deal with exposure to metals and chemicals, assemble plates that could easily unravel, and operate a press that took immense upper body strength and caused a lot of accidents. That it’s amazing that Benjamin Franklin was able to succeed in that trade in one piece. While being a scribe was boring, painstaking, and left little room for a costly error. Anyway, how many of you imagined yourself as a Viking raider? Had any idea of what it was like being a settler in the New World? Or even a soldier in the British Empire? Here are ten more historical professions and the dark realities behind them.

111. Old West Rancher – In westerns, an Old West cattle rancher often seems like being a cowboy but in a more stationary location. But the reality was no ride into the sunset. First, riding horses for days on end ruined spines and hips. Many ranchers suffered from severe arthritis in their lower bodies without any access to real pain relief. Save maybe opium. Whether the temperature was over 100 degrees or below freezing, cattle still needed water, fences had to be mended, and stables must be cleaned. While the roar of a lightning strike or a dog barking could spook a heard of 2,000 cattle. Stampedes were incredibly dangerous, often resulting in crushed bones or death. Second, harsh winters meant freezing cattle to death. Summer droughts meant dried up watering holes and failing crops. Without modern medicine, sickness spread fast. With conditions like cholera, malaria, and tuberculosis being common and deadly. Ranchers also constantly risked encounters with wolves, bears, mountain lions, and venomous snakes. Third, most ranchers lived in drafty log cabins or temporary sod houses that leaked during heavy rain as well as lacked both electricity and running water. Because water had to be hauled and heated, bathing was a luxury that might only happen once a week. While stagnant water tanks and outhouses smelled foul. Endless days on the range, sometimes stretching for months at a time, caused severe loneliness and psychological stress. Lastly, although many men went west hoping to strike it rich with a cattle herd, the economics were against them. Average cowboys and ranch hands only made $25-40 a month. They were only paid when the herd was finally sold, meaning long stretches with empty pockets. While the cost of land, tools, and supplies was constantly rising as the price they received for beef remained stubbornly low.

112. Stone Mason – In movies, books, and TV shows, stone masons were always the carvers who supplied the blocks that built castles, cathedrals, churches, and other public buildings. However, while it was a deservedly highly respected profession, it wasn’t often easy. First, carving stone creates a thick, invisible silica dust. Breathing this in every day shatters your lungs, leading to a deadly and painful respiratory disease called silicosis. Second, lifting, hauling, and setting heavy blocks of raw stone took a massive toll on the body. Masons suffered from chronic joint pain, hernias, and lifelong physical injuries. Third, working at great heights on scaffolding made of tied ropes and wood was terrifyingly risky. One slip up while carrying heavy materials meant a long fall or death. Fourth, as a stone mason, you work completely outdoors with your hands freezing in the winter and baking in the summer. All while swinging heavy hammers. Fifth, staring at the bright, white stone under the glaring sun for hours, combined with dust blowing into the eyes caused many masons to go blind as they aged. Fifth, to become a master, you had to spend roughly 7 years as a teenage apprentice trading your youth, sweat, and long hours just to learn the trade. Lastly, building monumental projects like castles or cathedrals took decades. Masons lived in temporary, drafty shacks on the job site for years, forcing them away from their families and a normal home life.

113. Customs Officer – In the popular imagination, a customs officer is often someone whom many characters want to get certain goods across without much detection. Yet, despite their calm demeanor, the historical customs officer was like that of a local public official who nobody liked. Nonetheless, while we all know that customs officers are supposed to track down smugglers, we have no idea what smuggling was like back in the day. But back in the Age of Sail, smugglers comprised of heavily armed gangs. And customs officers had to deal with these guys on a daily basis. Smugglers violently defended their illegal shipments. Officers who intercepted them were often beaten, shot, or kidnapped. Second, historically, people viewed customs duties as a way for the government to steal their money. Smuggling was seen as a Robin Hood-style community service instead of a crime. So naturally, customs officers lived in hostile towns where locals refused to help them or warned smugglers when revenue men were coming. Third, before modern ports and heated inspection stations, customs officers had to patrol rocky, freezing coastlines or local dirt trails in all kinds of weather. Many spent days in small, cold bouncing boats, often seasick, trying to chase down fast smuggling ships. Finally, for a long time the base pay was terrible. To make a living, a customs officer often had to rely on the “moiety system,” where they got a cut of the money from the goods they seized. Because of this, it was common for corrupt higher-ups or government officials to cheat customs officers out of their rewards or take bribes from rich merchants and look the other way.

114. Frontier Schoolteacher – In westerns, the image of a frontier one-room schoolhouse looms large. In some, a female schoolteacher may even be a hero’s love interest or wife. Yet, being the teacher there was certainly no picnic. First, teachers didn’t earn enough money to rent their own rooms. Instead, they’d have to rotate living with the different families of their own students. This meant they had no privacy, were subject to the host family’s strict rules, and were sometimes forced to sleep in the same beds as the children they taught. Today, most people would see their teacher as the last person they’d invite to a sleepover, let alone share a bed with them which is deeply inappropriate. Yet, in the olden days, this was seen as completely normal. Second, female teachers were paid significantly less than men for the exact same work. Their contracts were also incredibly strict. Many schools banned teachers from getting married, drinking, or even attending dances unchaperoned. Breaking these rules resulted in immediate termination. But sharing a bed with your students? Perfectly acceptable. Can’t see what could happen here (sarcasm). Third, teachers weren’t just responsible for educating the children, they were also the janitors. They had to arrive early in the morning to chop firewood, haul water from nearby wells, clean chimneys, and sweep the dirt floors. Fourth, books, paper, and pens were incredibly scarce. Teachers had to get creative just to hold class. For instance, some teachers scratched lesson plans into dirt floors with sticks while students used pieces of charcoal to write on their hands or on wood scraps. Lastly, many frontier schoolhouses were made of rough logs or prairie sod, both of which often leaked when it rained. During winter, the drafty buildings were freezing, sometimes even causing the teacher’s feet to frost over. In warmer months, dirt floors could be a breeding ground for fleas.

115. British Soldier – Being a soldier in the British Empire seems like quite the adventure. From the French and Indian War to World War I, a redcoat could travel the world from North America, Africa, the Caribbean, the Middle East, and India during the Raj. But a British soldier’s life wasn’t without hardship during the 18^th and 19^th century. First, a rank and file British soldier earned pennies a day and was further reduced by deductions for food, clothing, and equipment. When serving in peacetime, society viewed British troops as the “scum of the earth.” And that’s just the celebrated Duke of Wellington. Doesn’t help that most joined only to escape unemployment, starvation, or prison. While enlistment was often for life or for long terms ranging from 7-21 years, making it nearly impossible to return to civilian life. Second, British soldiers were subject to harsh discipline. The army used the “cat o’ nine tails” whip to punish minor infractions, often delivering hundreds of lashes scarring the men for life. Desertion or mutiny often resulted in death by firing squad or hanging. Officers regulated every second of a soldier’s day, enforcing mind-numbing drills to turn men into unthinking machines. Wealthy officers often bought their officer commissions, meaning that leadership was based on money than military talent. A fact that would later prove disastrous with the Charge of the Light Brigade. Third, diseases killed far more fighting men than actual combat. With yellow fever, malaria, typhus, and the classic dysentery devastating regiments. Food consisted of insect-infested hard tack and years-old salted meat. Those iconic red wool uniforms were thick, heavy, and tightly fitted. They also choked soldiers in tropical climates like India and the Caribbean. Living quarters were cramped, damp, and lacked proper sanitation, allowing disease to spread like wild fire. Lastly, tactics required soldiers standing shoulder-to-shoulder in tight formations while every musket and cannonball fired directly at them. Gunpowder quickly blinded the battlefield, leaving soldiers fighting in choking, terrifying fog. And if wounded, battlefield surgery usually meant quick amputation without anesthesia, using unwashed tools.

116. Police Officer – In historical settings, police officers are often clad in tall hats and nice black uniforms while on the block. In the US, they may even have Irish accents for some reason. However, the life of police officer back in the day makes the issues faced by their modern counterparts seem like a tea party. For one, in the 19^th and early 20^th centuries, police forces were deeply tied to corrupt local politics. Jobs were often awarded as favors rather than through merit. Officers were expected to act as muscle for local politicians, ignore crimes committed by political allies, and enforce illegal activities in exchange for bribes. Those refusing to play along faced either swift retaliation or termination. Second, before patrol cars and modern radios, officers had to walk massive, lonely, “beats” in the dark and cold. If things went wrong, they had little backup. During major events like the 1931 Wickersham Commission, records show that police resorted to extreme, high-handed violence to keep the peace, often alienating the public and making the job more dangerous. Third, police officers operated with almost no investigative technology. They had to rely on physical descriptions or a “rogue’s gallery” (books of mugshots) to identify repeat offenders. Without DNA or fingerprint matching, they were often forced to rely on forced confessions or intimidation to solve crimes. Today, we refer these last two tactics as torture. Fourth, historical police officers were often on the front lines of violent labor strikes, riots, and social uprisings. Due to being seen as stooges to the government and wealthy, they often faced deep hatred and physical violence from everyday citizens. Lastly, before vaccines and modern sanitation, cops faced many everyday health risks on duty. They regularly interacted with crowded, unsanitary slums, handled dead bodies, and dealt with people suffering highly contagious and deadly conditions without protective gear.

117. Naval Officer – Compared to the able seamen, life aboard a ship as an officer during the Age of Sail seemed more like a much cushier gig at sea. Yet, a naval officer’s life was anything but smooth sailing. Especially if one happens to be Captain Bligh or Fletcher Christian. Given that one wasn’t adequately supported by the British government before the Bounty voyage while the other had suffered a serious mental breakdown that led to the mutiny. For one, before mandating citrus fruits on board, long voyages meant that sailors and officers alike lost their teeth watched their old wounds open up as their bodies ran out of Vitamin C. Fevers, malaria, and cramped conditions with poor hygiene made deaths from illness highly likely. Second, naval commanders have faced strict, unforgiving culture where a single mistake could cost them their job. Should a ship run aground or failed an inspection, the commanding officer was often immediately fired or punished, regardless of their career’s overall success. Third, without refrigerators, food on long deployments consisted of dried, salted meat (which became tough as wood) and hard tack biscuits infested with maggots. Many officers brought their own personal stashes, but eventually even that went bad. Fourth, aboard the ship, officers were entirely separated from the enlisted crew. They ate in a private mess (or wardroom) and weren’t allowed to befriend the sailors they led. In addition, they were completely disconnected from their families for months and years at a time. Fifth, like many of the sailors, officers never learned how to swim. Falling overboard usually went drowning. While wooden warships were giant, wooden splinters waiting to explode during cannon fire. Lastly, the military justice system was brutal. Officers could be “kicked off the ship” for minor offenses or face devastating court martials that ruined their reputations for life.

118. Viking Raider – In our public imagination, being a Viking raider seems like a ferocious Scandinavian scourge on the coastal monastery. While their ships look pretty awesome to behold. However, despite what TV shows may suggest, Viking life wasn’t the smooth sailing life it was cracked up to be. First, Viking longship life wasn’t an action-packed adventure. Rowing required immense, constant physical effort. As a Viking, you rowed for hours in rough, freezing, and wet conditions. Being seasick opened you to ridicule. Longships had no cabins or toilets. You slept on the open deck or under a tent, exposed to the rain, wind, and freezing sea spray. You survived on high protein but foul-tasting foods like stale bread, thin porridge, and preserved (often fermented or rotting) fish and meat. Scurvy was a constant threat. Second, raiding wasn’t at all an honorable dance of clashing swords but an exhausting and terrifying slog. Since metal armor and swords were incredibly expensive, most everyday raiders could only afford thick leather garments, iron helmets, and heavy wooden shields. Vikings heavily relied on the shock value of sudden, brutal violence to intimidate unarmed monks and villagers. If a raid went wrong and an actual army showed up, Vikings were often in deep trouble. If you were lucky enough not to die in the fight, basic medicine made even a simple cut life-threatening. Injuries easily go infected, often leading to a slow and painful end. Wonder if dying from injuries after a battle qualified them to enter Valhalla. Fourth, despite the reputation as a full-time warrior, most Vikings were actually farmers. While raiding was just a seasonal gig to get silver and trade goods. Scandinavia was very cold, dark climate. Winters were incredibly long. Keeping animals and crops alive was a constant struggle. When not raiding, you spent your days doing grueling farm work like milking cows, cutting wood, and grinding grain by hand until your shoulders burned. The hard outdoor lifestyle and constant heavy lifting meant that even if you survived combat, your body would be wrecked by severe arthritis by your late 30s. Who knew the simple Scandinavian farm life was just as brutal as the raiding? Maybe even more so. Finally, the idea that all Vikings went to Valhalla when they died was a belief that helped them face their world’s grim realities. Because in real life, a large percenters of raiders never made it home, often falling to sickness, accidents, or starvation.

119. Merchant – A merchant always seems to have it made in a period drama with all their fine products from exotic places that they always have up for sale. But being a merchant was far from the high life. First, as a merchant, every time you crossed a river, entered a city gate, or passed into a new lord’s territory, you paid a heavy tax. The costs always ate at your profit. Roads were often just mud tracks. Moving goods by ox-cart was slow. And you risked getting robbed or losing everything if the weather ruined your shipment. Traveling by sea meant risking your life. Pirates could easily board your ship, steal your inventory, and throw you overboard. Second, because you’re not farming or making anything with your hands, many societies see you as a “parasite” charging extra for things. Since the Medieval Catholic Church taught that charging interest was a sin, people assume you’re cheating if you buy low and sell high. If you’re in ancient China or Japan, you legally sit at the bottom of the social ladder. In Europe, despite being rich, expect the knights and nobles to look down on you. Third, since there are no credit card or buy guarantees, you have to worry about customers using fake coins, which is a constant headache. The most famous example of this is the historical Ea-Nasir Tablet from thousands of years ago in ancient Mesopotamia. On it, a frustrated buyer complained to merchant Ea-Nasir for selling, cheap low-quality copper and being rude to his delivery team. Fourth, since you don’t “belong” to a local lord’s land, you have no protection. So if a local king needs money, he can simply steal or seize your inventory without breaking any laws. Lastly, due to banks and wire transfers being non-existent, you must haul heavy bags of gold or silver with you to buy new goods, which basically puts a “rob me” sign on your back. If you offer credit, getting paid back could take months or years across dangerous distances.

120. Colonial Settler – Seeking a new life in the New World, colonial settlers are often depicted as brave ancestors. If you live in America, they’re the Pilgrims or the inhabitants of Jamestown. If you live in Australia, they probably committed small time felony. But life in a new world was no picnic. First, settlers arrived completely unequipped to grow food in unfamiliar climates and soil. For instance, in Jamestown’s early days as a colony, failure to plant enough crops or hunt the local wildlife led to a horrific period known as “the starving time.” People resorted to eating horses, dogs, cats, rats, leather shoes, and even human corpses just to survive. Second, since European bodies weren’t used to the germs and environments in new territories. Tropical and foreign environments brought illnesses settlers had no medicine for. In warm, swampy colonies, mosquitoes brought deadly malaria. On long boat rides and during early winters, lack of fresh fruits and vegetables often caused scurvy, where teeth fell out and old wounds reopen. Third, since colonists were taking land, they often found themselves surrounded by angry and frightened indigenous populations. Instead of a peaceful new start, settlers lived in forts and constant fear of attacks, raids, and destruction of their crops. Fourth, unlike a modern move where one can just go to a store, settlers were completely cut off. Settlers faced freezing winters and scorching, humid summers that destroyed homes and crops. While the distance from civilization meant a lonely, brutal existence with no guarantee that you’d see another friendly face for months. Fifth, many regular settlers weren’t in charge. Many were essentially indentured servants worked for rich nobles or companies in their home country. They were forced into grueling labor and couldn’t just quit. As their bosses controlled their food, housing, and freedom. Finally, as time went on, the reality of displacing, enslaving, or eliminating native populations left a dark legacy of guilt, fear, and intergenerational violence. While creating deeply unstable societies where people lived in a constant, defensive stage of high alert.

You may have noticed in the previous posts that historical medicine was often a messy business. Especially given the lack of knowledge of germs often led to unsanitary conditions. Old treatments often comprise of blood letting, hacking off limbs, herbal remedies, or rudimentary surgery without anesthesia. While post-event infections often made everything worse because nobody in the medical establishment washed their hands or washed the wounds. And ironically the first doctor who embarked on a hand-washing campaign died of sepsis in an insane asylum. Still, ever imagined yourself as part of a World War II bomber crew? Or perhaps a Confederate soldier fighting for a lost cause or his Southern Belle? Or maybe an Old Testament prophet sent to deliver God’s message. In this post, here are ten more historical jobs and their dark realities that you often don’t think about.

101. Confederate Soldier – For decades so many have idolize the Confederate soldier fighting for the Old South and a dying way of life. Though the real Confederate soldier had a life more like Cold Mountain than Gone with the Wind. For one, let’s be honest about what these soldiers are actually fighting for. No, it’s not for some cherished way of life, states’ rights, or Southern ideals. No, it was for the preservation and continuation of forcing black people into a life of involuntary servitude in the plantation economy. Not to mention, all that comes with it such as white supremacy and the belief that blacks don’t have rights that the white man was bound to respect. If that’s not terrible enough, we must understand that the vast majority of southern whites didn’t own slaves nor lived on these large plantations. And yet, they supported slavery anyway because it gave someone they could look down upon regardless of their financial situation. And even if the plantation economy didn’t benefit them. Second, 2/3 of Confederate soldier deaths were due to disease, not battle wounds. Due to lack of anesthesia and antiseptics, amputation led to massive infection rates. Camps lacked clean water and waste disposal, creating breeding grounds for parasites and body lice. Third, Confederate soldiers were frequently reduced to eating hard tack and “parched corn.” Near-total absence of fresh vegetables and Vitamin C caused widespread scurvy, rotting teeth, and bleeding gums. While the Union blockading major waterways and destroying Southern railroads meant food rotted at depots instead of reaching the front lines. Fourth, due to severe leather shortages, thousands of soldiers marched and fought barefoot through winter snow and rocky terrain. The Confederate government couldn’t supply standard gray uniforms, forcing soldiers to wear home-spun clothes dyed with hickory nuts (“butternuts”). Tents were rare, forcing men to sleep directly on the mud under thin, infested blankets. Finally, soldiers were paid in Confederate currency, which suffered from runaway hyperinflation and became completely worthless in 1864. Letters from home detailed how wives and children were starving due to Union raids and food riots, triggering massive desertion rates. While soldiers faced a vastly better-equipped, better-fed, and numerically superior Union Army. All in the name of preserving the perverse institution of slavery. How pathetic.

102. WWII Bomber Crewman – During World War II, air bombers carpeted bombed Nazi Germany to hell and back. Yet, being part a bomber crew was far from a joy ride. In fact, it was one of the deadliest jobs in the military and the basis for Catch-22. First, at 30,000ft, where bombers flew to avoid ground fire, temperatures plunged to -40 to -70 º F. Bombers were unpressurized and had open windows and gun ports, meaning crews were blasted by freezing winds. Touching metal could easily freeze skin and frostbite remained a constant threat. In addition, thin air caused hypoxia, a dangerous lack of oxygen making men dizzy, or lose consciousness if their masks failed or froze. Second, waves of German fighters constantly targeted bombers and anti-aircraft artillery constantly bombarded them. Flak shells exploded in the air, filling the sky with jagged pieces of hot metal that could easily rip through the bomber’s thin aluminum cover and the men inside. Due to no onboard medics, crewmen had to resort to basic first aid such as injecting morphine into wounded comrades and hoping they’d survive the hours-long flight home. Third, the odds of making it through a full tour of duty were grim. For instance, early in the war, the chance of surviving a standard 25 mission tour for American B-17 bomber crews was only 25%. Average life expectancy was very short. It’s said that an estimated 100,000 Americans were either killed or went missing during air campaigns. Fourth, if a bomber was shot and the pilot ordered the crew to bail out, the escape process was scary. Men had to climb out of the narrow hatches in heavy, bulky flight suits while the plane was spinning, burning, or being torn apart. Due to being positioned in the plane’s very back, tail gunners had it particularly rough. For they were often trapped and had the most difficult time reaching the exit. Lastly, if you’re familiar with Catch-22 and Twelve O’Clock High, the psychological stress was overwhelming. Every mission meant men facing the very real risk of painful death. Crewmen suffered from extreme fatigue, often developing what we today call post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD). But what was then known as “combat fatigue.” Men were often haunted by constant sounds of screaming, roaring engines, and gunfire, coupled with the loss of their friends flying in other planes beside them. On the bright side, at least it’s not submarine duty.

103. Switchboard Operator – Out of many of the jobs that don’t exist anymore, being a switchboard operator seems rather doable. Since it involves connecting communication lines and listening to everyone’s conversations. But it’s also one that many don’t think much of. Yet, it’s one that certainly wasn’t a non-stop party line. First, operators had to plug heavy cords called jacks into switchboard sockets to connect callers. Doesn’t seem too bad. But imagine having to do this hundreds of times a day with your hands constantly raised above your chest level. Second shifts were long, and operators were expected to connect a certain number of calls every hour. Falling behind or making a small mistake meant heavy penalties. Second, callers often blamed operators for bad connections, dropped lines, or reaching the wrong number. And like many customer service jobs, operators had to endure yelling, cursing, and rude comments from frustrated callers. Third, operators weren’t allowed to chit chat with their co-workers, eat at their desks, or leave for unscheduled breaks. While early switchboards meant operators had to listen to part of a conversation to know when a call ended and to unplug the cord. This left very little privacy, and supervisors sometimes monitored calls to ensure operators’ politeness. Lastly, in places like hospitals and police stations, operators had to keep calm while handling life-threatening emergencies, dealing with tragic news, or fielding bomb threats. As for the pay, well, since it’s a female-dominated profession, the pay’s probably low. Nevertheless, the profession mostly died out with the advent of technology allowing phone users to simply dial another phone without the operator’s aid had became widespread in the 1930s. Still, if you want a customer service job but don’t like in person contact during the early 20^th century, this is the perfect job for you. Seriously, compared to the other professions in this series, it’s about as bad as a standard service industry job.

104. Southern Belle – The image of the Southern Belle is a romanticized symbol of charm and luxury. But being a Southern Belle was no bed of roses. For one, it’s essentially a full-time job of performing. Women in the upper echelons Southern Plantation society were raised with the sole purpose of marrying well, meaning they constantly had to act cheerful, agreeable, and submissive to men. They had no say in the family’s plantation business, were denied meaningful careers, and were discouraged from expressing strong opinions or showing anger. Second, while Southern hospitality sounds warm, exercising politeness was exhausting. Society demanded women never be blunt or direct, forcing them to bottle up their true feelings and often led to a culture of passive-aggressive gossiping and superficial relationships. Third, the famous Southern Belle outfit was a nightmare to wear in the Southern heat. Women were expected to wear heavy, multilayered dresses, corsets restricting their breathing, and large sunhats to protect their skin from tanning. Maintaining a “flawless” appearance was incredibly difficult in hot, muggy weather, especially when tackling severe humidity and bug bites. Fourth, because Southern Belles were raised to be fragile and ornamental, many were entirely dependent on men and slaves who supported their lifestyle. They lacked the practical skills required to take care of themselves, making them feel completely helpless when times got tough, such as during the Civil War when many husbands and fathers died. Nonetheless, this didn’t stop Southern gentlemen from the “Southern Belle” myth to mask the horrors of slavery. While Southern women were expected to uphold it acing as “pure” symbols of a flawless Old South that never was. This meant ignoring the exploitation around them to keep up appearances, which created a toxic, oppressive, and whitewashed view of history. But if you read Gone With the Wind and/or watch the movie, you see how Scarlett O’Hara and Melanie Wilkes aren’t the fragile flowers they were raised to be and only needed a man to get them out of a burning Atlanta.

105. Old Testament Prophet – Although those of the Abrahamic faiths look upon the Old Testament prophets as divine messengers of God, they were more akin to the Jewish equivalent to Cassandra during the Trojan War. First, as the original “truth to power” guys sent by God Himself, frequently calling out corrupt kings, greedy priests, and wealthy elites often didn’t go well. Jeremiah once got locked in the stocks for a day by a temple official Pashur because he didn’t like what Jeremiah had to say. Second, people hated hearing what they were doing wrong so social ostracization was guaranteed. Jeremiah lived in complete isolation since he wasn’t allowed to marry or attend weddings and funerals, making him deeply depressed. Third, God often required His prophets to perform bizarre, highly embarrassing acts to get stubborn people’s attention. This could comprise of cooking food over cow and human feces to warn of coming famine (Ezekiel), marrying a promiscuous woman and give your kids shitty names to illustrate Israel’s unfaithfulness (Hosea), or walking around completely naked in public for 3 years as a walking warning to the people (Isaiah). Fourth, according to Deuteronomy, the rule of the prophet was strict: if a prophet claimed to speak for God, his message had to be 100% correct every single time. Should a prediction fail, he was declared a fraud. Yet, as with Cassandra, note that being 100% right didn’t mean that people were going to listen to them. Fifth, not surprisingly, if you were seen as a threat, kings often wanted you dead. Uriah also prophesized against Jerusalem in a way that pissed off King Jehoiakim that he sent men to track Uriah down and murder him. Finally, extreme burnout was common among prophets and some even begged God from sharing bad news. But too often they felt a burning, uncontrollable urge from God forcing them to keep speaking out. And even if you try to flee from your assignment, God will just send a storm and have you swallowed by a whale for a few days until you agree to go to Ninevah like He asked you to in the first place. Just ask Jonah.

106. Tailor – A key figure in many historical villages, tailors are often seen as the ones who make clothes. But the tailor job wasn’t something that can be done in a stitch. For one, tailors traditionally worked while sitting cross-legged on wooden table up to 14-16 hours a day. This unnatural position cause severe hip problems, curved spines, and hunched shoulders, making chronic pain an occupational hazard. Second, before electricity, tailors sewed entirely by light from dim candles or small windows. Many of them went blind or suffered from severe eye strain from focusing on tiny stitches in dark rooms. Third, before modern washing machines, pressing heavy wool broadcloth required massive, solid-iron smoothing irons weighing up to 15-20lbs. Tailors had to constantly heat them, breathing in smoke and toxic fumes all day. Fourth, tailors with clients from royalty and the wealthy elite were under immense pressure to get everything right. Should a tailor accidentally cut a fabric wrong or ruin a customer’s expensive imported silk, they had to pay for the destroyed material from their own pockets. Finally, the tailoring trade was run by a strict, old-fashioned guilds. Secrets were heavily guarded and tailors worked under the eye of a Master Tailor who controlled their wages, hours, and ability to move up in the world.

107. Apothecary – In the olden days, when you needed a fix, the apothecary was the person you turned to. But given that it was an era before modern medicine, an apothecary’s life was one of great difficulty. First, apothecaries mixed whatever they had, meaning they spent hours of grinding highly toxic substances like mercury (used to treat infections but led to brain damage and teeth falling out), lead (used in salves and wound dressings), arsenic (use as a cure-all, despite being a notorious poison), and tobacco (those in 17^th century Europe also controlled this trade, despite it being a highly addictive and dangerous commodity). Second, since there were no pre-packaged pills, apothecaries had to prepare everything themselves. This meant boiling animal parts, crushing foul-smelling herbs, and rendering fats. They had to practice humoral theory as people believed sickness being caused by a humoral imbalance. If a patient was sick, an apothecary may either bleed them with leeches or force them to vomit. Third, because pre-modern medicine was mostly guesswork, patients often didn’t get better. Should a wealthy or royal person die after taking an apothecary’s custom concoctions, it was incredibly easy for angry families to accuse them of intentional poisoning. In some historical eras, causing a prominent client’s death could end with the apothecary imprisoned or executed. No pressure. Fourth, apothecary shops were filled with volatile substances. Grinding sulfur, distilling raw alcohol, and mixing acidic compounds without proper safety gear led to accidental fires and explosions were a regular workplace hazard. Lastly, to become an apothecary, one had to survive a brutal, unpaid 7-year apprenticeship as a teenager mostly doing grunt work like (sweeping floors, scrubbing pots, and crushing ingredients for long periods of time) just to learn the trade.

108. Baker – A mainstay in any historical village, the baker is always busy making his fresh bread. However, a baker’s life wasn’t always as quaint as stories present, especially during the 18^th and 19^th centuries. First, bakehouses were poorly ventilated, damp cellars packed with coal smoke and flour dust. Constantly breathing this thick air caused chronic and progressive illness called “baker’s lung.” As a result, a Victorian baker’s lifespan was drastically reduced, many dying around the age of 49 after years of hacking up flower instead of air. Second, since modern baking tools didn’t exist, all dough had to be mixed and kneaded by hand. Bakers worked grueling 18-hour shifts, 7 days a week, relying on little more than sawdust to absorb the moldy water on the cellar floors. Since every town depended on ovens to eat, days off and holidays were practically unheard of. Finally, since most homes didn’t have ovens, families brought their own prepared dough to the local baker. Because laws at the time like the Medieval Assize of Bread strictly regulated the exact weight and loaf price, the punishment for an underweight loaf or suspected thief was severe. If caught short-changing a customer, bakers could be publicly tied to a wooden hurdle and dragged through the streets with the stolen dough tied around their necks or even lose an ear.

109. Printer – When one hears about the life of Benjamin Franklin getting his start as a printer, it makes the profession seem cool. Since he managed to make it into a profit-making venture where he could get his ideas out in the open within Colonial Philadelphia. Yet, before you ink your printing press, here’s what you need to know. First, that movable metal type typically used for printing was usually made of an alloy containing lead, tin, and antimony. Constantly handling this metal by the thousands caused lead to rub off workers’ hands and eventually into their bodies, leading to chronic illness, brain damage, and extreme physical pain often called “printer’s disease.”  Second, printers had to mix their own ink recipe using lampblack (soot) mixed with boiled linseed oil and pine rosin. Heating, mixing, and continuously applying these substances meant breathing toxic, oily, and soot chemical vapors for hours on end. Third, operating the heavy, room-sized wooden and cast-iron presses took immense physical exertion.  The operator had to constantly crank the screw mechanism, exerting thousands of pounds of pressure, over and over again to press the paper onto the inked letters. It was so exhausting that even 2 or 3 pressmen frequently traded jobs to share the heavy lifting burden. Fourth, the heavy mechanical press and fast-moving setup carried high risks. Workers routinely lost fingers or crushed limbs when hands or clothing got caught in the moving platens or screw mechanisms. Finally, to make matters worse, all the tiny metal letters were organized by hand into the frame. Should a worker trip or fumble their hand, an entire tray of thousands of letters could be dropped and scattered into a disorganized mess in a dreaded accident known as being “pied.”  While we now wonder how Benjamin Franklin was lucky enough to remain in one piece.

110. Scribe – In pop culture, being scribe seems like a glorified secretary writing a historical chronicle. But the reality wasn’t like you may imagine. For one, sitting in a hunched position for hours wreaked havoc on the body. Anthropological studies of ancient Egyptian scribes shows they suffered from severe osteoarthritis in their spines, shoulders, knees, and thumbs. They also developed neck strain from constantly looking down and flat spots on their ankles from squatting cross-legged for days on end. Second, you have to deal with terrible conditions. Working in dimly-lit rooms, often in bitter cold, ruined scribes’ eyesight. Scribes chewed on spiny rush plants to create brush-like writing tips, ruining their jaw joints. While writing with bird feathers (quills) required constant sharpening, and scratching out mistakes on stiff animal skin (vellum) was frustrating and messy. Third, writing the exact same document and book over and over by hand required intense, silent focus for months or even years. The boredom drove many scribes crazy, often venting their frustrations by scribbling complaints in the margins of their books such as “Oh, my hand” and “This shit sucks.” Many medieval monks even amused themselves by drawing little cartoons in the margins depicting killer rabbits, knights fighting snails, and all kinds of amusing weird imagery called drollery. Fourth, Because every single letter had to be perfect, a simple quill slip could ruin a whole page of expensive parchment. For scribes copying religious and legal texts, making an error was terrifying. As they’d worry about miscopying a divine rule could anger the gods. Lastly, since scribes were highly educated, they occupied a precarious position between the powerful, often illiterate kings and strict religious leaders. If the king didn’t like the official records or advice being read to them, the unfortunate messenger who recorded the history or law was in deep trouble. That’s not getting into how many characters many of these scribes had to memorize in languages that didn’t have alphabets.

Although we tend to glorify war on TV, books, movies, and the theater, many military jobs shown here show how much war is hell. Soldier camp conditions were horrendous. Living in a submarine was like living in a metal tube that could send you to a watery death and with the upkeep that would make frat boys blush. Being a grenadier, musketeer, and artilleryman means handling explosives that could wipe out your own forces.  Anyway, how would you want to host lavish dinner parties as a socialite? How about be an old-time professional athlete? Or maybe a brave medic on the battlefield, In this post, here are ten more historical professions with their dark realities.

91. Professional Athlete – Today being a professional athlete often means lots of money and celebrity. But this wasn’t always the case. If you were a professional athlete back in the old days, it would a whole other ballfield. And once you realize it, you’ll understand why they have those lucrative contracts and players’ unions. First, for decades leagues like Major League Baseball and the National Hockey League operated under the “reserve clause.” This contract provision automatically tied a player to their original team for their entire career unless the team chose to trade or release them. Players couldn’t negotiate with other teams for better pay and had no say on where they lived and worked. Second, before the 1970s, sports were rarely full-time, year-round occupations. Team owners actually expected players to work regular jobs during the off-season to pay their bills. Legendary athletes like Baltimore Colts quarterback Johnny Unitas had to do off-season construction work just to make ends meet. Third, as an athlete in the so-called “good old days,” you put yourself on the line without modern sports medicine, physical therapy, or protective gear. Should you tear a ligament or break a bone, that money for surgery and rehabilitation’s coming out of your own pocket. Injuries often cut short careers. And because salaries were so low, many players were left disabled with no pension or medical support for the long-term physical damage they suffered. Finally, even the greatest players struggled to achieve long-term financial security. Without the multi-million-dollar contracts, sponsorships, and wealth management opportunities that modern athletes enjoy, many famous athletes went completely broke shortly after retirement. Many ended up struggling financially, lacking the branding-power or post-career broadcasting jobs available to today’s retirees.

92. Hat Maker – In Alice in Wonderland, there’s this character called the Mad Hatter. However, this “Mad Hatter” persona has roots in the 18^th and 19^th centuries when hat makers used liquid mercuric nitrate to turn animal fur into high-quality stiff felt. Since workshops had poor ventilation, workers breathed in these toxic fumes all day long. Long-form mercury exposure caused brain damage. Hatters suffered from uncontrollable shakes, muscle twitching, tooth loss, extreme shyness, and memory loss. This inspired the phrase “mad as a hatter.” But that’s not all. In addition, hat making required a delicate, highly dangerous finishing process called “singeing” or “flashing.” As sanding the material leaves tiny, fuzzy fabrics sticking out. So in order to achieve a perfect, smooth, sharp finish a hatter must literally pass the hat through open flames. This calls for a perfectly steady hand. One small slip instantly ruins the expensive hat or starts a fire. Not to mention, since making a hat by hand takes immense skill, time, and expensive materials, it’s difficult to charge what the labor is actually worth. On the bright side, this profession was open to women. Although the female counterpart was known as a milliner. Yet, with added dangers of arsenic-based dyes and taxidermy bird feathers.

93. Bard – A major figure within the medieval imagination is the traveling troubadour who sings, tells stories, and recites poetry wherever they go. But the reality wasn’t all songs and adventure. For one, as the media of your day, your songs are believed to shape reality and influence public opinion, which scares the bejesus out of the kings. Rulers like King Edward I (best known as Longshanks) actively hunted down and executed Welsh bards because they feared the singers using the history to inspire rebellions. Praise the wrong side in a war, then you might not live to sing about it. Second, while bards are popularly portrayed as serenading wealthy nobles in grand castles, you’re more likely to be a minstrel wandering between towns. You have to travel long distances on foot or by mule along muddy, bandit-filled roads. When you were in town, you’d often sleep in dirty, bug-infested taverns or on cold dirt floors. Third, due to the lack of availability of books and the Internet, you’re a human encyclopedia. A traditional bard in ancient Celtic and medieval Irish society needed to memorize thousands of lines of epic poetry, intricate family histories, and local laws. Forget a noble’s ancestor during a major feast, well, expect your wealthy patron to cut you off or worse, banish you from their kingdom. Finally, as a bard, you’re not just a musician or party starter. You must also act as a political advisor, diplomat, and historian. If two landlords dispute, you must negotiate peace or clearly detail the land’s legal rules. This required years of intense training and a flawless memory, making it a stressful high-stakes career. But did it pay well? Not really.

94. Medic – Running on the battlefield saving and treating wounded as a wartime paramedic, the medic is a vision of bravery. Especially if you’re Andrew Garfield in Hackshaw Ridge. But being a medic in history was one of the most difficult jobs in a war zone. For one, as a medic, you have 2 different jobs at once. You carry a rifle like a regular soldier, but also have to drop your weapon to treat bleeding soldiers while bullets are flying. Some of you were also conscientious objectors and don’t carry a gun at all. When a soldier gets hurt, all eyes are on you. You must make life-or-death decisions in seconds without panic, and you get once chance to get it right. No pressure. Watching a friend die from their too severe injuries leaves lasting emotional scars like post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD). Sure, due to your Red Cross, it’s a war crime to shoot you under the Geneva Convention. But don’t expect enemies to get the memo. Besides, just because you save enemy troops from dying and keep your own team fighting, expect to be a prime target. After the battle when the rest of your unit gets to kick back and relax, know that your job’s still not done. You must take care of other soldiers’ feet (a blister and trench foot check), treat sprained ankles, and wrap bandages. Hope you’re okay with saying goodbye to a night’s sleep. When not in a combat zone, you must work in a clinic doing paperwork, making appointments, and filling out health records. If you’re expecting to be a frontline hero, this could be frustrating letdown. But if you join out of being a conscientious objector, then consider yourself lucky. Nonetheless, medics were among the greatest heroes whose courageous deeds in war usually never merited any major recognition.

95. Military Doctor – To care for injured on the battlefield, a military doctor always had to stand by. But it’s a job requiring nerves of steel and in historical settings, it’s a complete nightmare of meatball surgery. For one, before the late 1800s, the medical establishment didn’t know bacteria and viruses. Thus, military doctors didn’t wash their hands or sanitize their tools. In wars like the American Civil War, amputation was the most common way to save a soldier’s life because bullets completely shattered bones. They operated in tents without running water. Because they lacked basic hygiene, many soldiers survived the battlefield only to die days later due to deadly postsurgical infections or gangrene. Second, military doctors spent most of their time fighting enemies they could neither see or understand: sickness and poor living conditions. In camp, cramped living conditions and poor sanitation caused deadly outbreaks like dysentery, typhoid, cholera, and malaria. While far more soldiers died from these illnesses than bullets. Third, treatments applied were bloodletting, basic surgery with heavy clunky tools shared among men, and a leather belt to bite down during the latter. Because there’s no anesthesia. Fourth, while civilian doctors safely operated at home, military doctors worked right in the middle of battlefields and war zones. Leaving them exposed to artillery fire, stray bullets, and capturing. Many doctors were killed while actively trying to help wounded soldiers. Lastly, field hospitals were chaotic to say the least. Major battles resulted in thousands of soldiers arriving at once. Doctors had to perform surgeries with very little sleep, no food, and scarce medical supplies. Not to mention, frequently make difficult, heartbreaking choices on which soldiers were treated first and which were left to die. All because there were simply too many wounded people.

96. Royal Mistress – For a woman, being a king’s favorite meant lavish gifts, jewelry, and influence to her and her family. However, the reality was far from a fairy tale. First, as a royal mistress, know that your king’s interest is flighty and unpredictable. If he gets bored or met a new woman to obsess over, he’ll swiftly cast you aside. Like when King Charles II of Great Britain took up with Nell Gwyn as soon as he tired of Moll Davis. Second, while kings are often seen as divine and excused for their indiscretions, the public viewed mistresses as wicked temptresses or “gold diggers.” Expect to be publicly humiliated, pelted with insults, and having to flee angry mobs. For example, when Lola Montez (mistress to King Ludwig I of Bavaria), people rioted and threw manure at her as she fled the city. Third, being a royal mistress means living in the same castle as a deeply humiliated and furious queen. And if that’s not enough to worry about, know that courts are filled with politicians and other nobles who despise your influence. Rival mistresses and courtiers were known to poison each other’s food to get their competition locked in the Tower of London. Fourth, you’re expected to be available for a king whenever he wants you. That means always having to be charming, witty, and able to entertain him. Even when he’s exhausted or sick. So the private chambers aren’t really private. Fifth, know that you can be imprisoned, banished from the country, or even executed if the king died and the new ruler held a grudge. Sometimes not even that with King Louis XV’s mistress Madame Du Barry didn’t just face banishment from Versailles after her regal lover’s death at Marie Antoinette’s behest but also was executed by guillotine during the French Revolution. Lastly, if you find yourself a royal mistress, it’s likely because you don’t really have a choice. Most likely you’re a young woman from a noble family pushed into the king’s arms by your own father, brothers, or other male relatives. And they’re often men who wanted to use them to gain or political favors from the King. Just pray that the king in question isn’t King Henry VIII in need of a new queen.

97. Landowner – Any fan of period dramas is familiar with the wealthy landowner with a fabulous estate. Yet, when you watch these shows and movies, you begin to see that many of these men were more like Ross Poldark than Fitzwilliam Darcy. After all, dollar princesses were once highly sought after by European aristocrats due to desperately needing to inject new money into their empty coffers to support their lavish estates. And if he couldn’t marry a rich girl like Ross Poldark, then he’d have to find some creative solutions to pay his bills. Still, history and period literature is often filled with stories about cash-poor aristocrats either marrying or marrying their daughters off for money that it’s ridiculous. Yet, being a landowner in medieval times was even worse. First, in feudal times, your land was your wealth as well as a giant invader magnet. Should a rival lord or enemy army march through, expect them to steal your livestock, burn your crops, and destroy your property. Also, owning land means you’re a political player. Back the losing side in a rebellion or civil war, expect the winning king to seize all your property and in more extreme cases, execute you for treason. Second, since kings need cash to run the government and fund wars, expect to be constantly hit with heavy property taxes. Under the feudal system, land comes with a military requirement. So if the king goes to war, you must provide a number of knights, weapons, and soldiers all paid from your own pocket. Third, before modern police and local governments, you must be the local government. So owning a manor makes you responsible for holding court to settle disputes between peasants, punishing thieves and criminals, and making sure roads and bridges were fixed. Finally, despite having a massive paper fortune in land, castles, and crops, it was very difficult to quickly sell a chunk of your estate if you suddenly need gold to pay the king or buy goods.

98. Barber Surgeon – Back in the old days before modern medicine, a barber surgeon was usually the one people counted on in an emergency. But the life was nothing to snip at. In fact, it seemed more like the perfect job for Sweeny Todd who probably would’ve gotten away with way more grisly murders if he lived at an earlier time. For one, since “real” doctors thought cutting through a patient was beneath them, the barber surgeon was often left with the gruesome work. Since anesthesia was non-existent, the best barber surgeons were often the fastest ones. So this means having to cut off limbs, pulling teeth, and drilling holes into patients’ skulls while they were awake and screaming. Second, because no one knew about germs, barber surgeons didn’t wash their hands or clean tools between patients. The same razor used to trim a beard may be used later to lance a pus-filled boil or cut through a limb. Was fairly common for patients to survive the initial surgery only to die a few days later from terrible, unpreventable infections. Third, since it’s widely believed that “bad blood” caused sickness, barber surgeons spent a lot of their time drawing blood from patients either through their razors or leeches. This often made patients even weaker and possibly killed them (like George Washington). Finally, the ye olde barbershop was often cramped, poorly lit, and smelled of blood and dirty rags, which is where we get the iconic barber pole from with the red and white stripes comes from: red representing blood and white representing the bandages to clean up the mess.

99. Heiress – Born into privilege, a wealthy heiress is often a go-to protagonist in a lot of period literature, TV shows, and movies. However, their life was no the dream it’s cracked up to be. For one, due to living in an era without women’s rights, families often used daughters to get famous titles or pay off massive debts. Many Gilded Age heiresses were sent to Europe to marry broke ass aristocrats. Second, under the British system of coverture, a woman’s money, land, and property automatically became her husband’s upon her marriage. Thus, she couldn’t actually own anything by herself, write her will, or easily divorce, no matter how bad her husband treated her. Third, heiresses lived in a golden cage. Spies followed them. They were expected to dress, speak, and act as society demanded. One little mistake like speaking their mind, showing a bad mood, or secretly embarking on a writing career could ruin their family’s reputation. Fifth, being an heiress meant her main job was providing a male heir to continue the family name as well as inherit the family’s assets. But that doesn’t mean she’d be allowed to raise her own children. Since that’s the nanny’s job to rear them to be cold and dignified. Lastly, being an heiress meant attracting many men who only see her as a walking ATM. Marrying the wrong man could potentially spell financial ruin. That many heiresses decided to remain single.

100. Socialite – A socialite in a period drama seems like she has everything and that life for her was a nonstop party. But the life of one was anything but. First, given this is the time before women’s rights, we must concede that women were seen as trophies and bargaining chips. They had no jobs, bank accounts, or say in their marriages. Instead, they were expected to look pretty and produce heirs. They relied on their fathers, husbands, and other male family members for all their money. Should her husband be a jerk or a gambler, she had no way to leave and make her own money. Thus, leaving her financially trapped. Second, since there’s no internet to vent, gossip was a deadly weapon used to tear people down. Spreading rumors could ruin reputations overnight and get someone permanently banned from parties. High status women used gossip to ruin engagements, destroy rivals, and force rivals out of high society entirely. One whispered lie at a ball could result in complete isolation. Third, society operated like an unpaid full-time job. Socialites had a strict schedule of when they could leave calling cards, host tea, or attend balls. One wrong fork at dinner, wearing the wrong color, sitting in the wrong chair, or skipping a designated “calling hour” meant social death or ruin a family’s reputation. Thus, making high society sound like a nonstop party and more like a high-end middle school. Fourth, socialites were often married off to buy titles, merge powerful families, or pay off debts. They were also expected to endure whatever a loveless marriage threw at them. Since divorce was highly scandalous and could ruin her entirely. Lastly, papers relentlessly tracked socialites’ every move. Yellow presses (early tabloids) often obsessed over their clothes, parties, and divorces. Living under a microscope with no escape route often took a mental and emotional toll. While being bred for fame, often led to lifelong misery, eating disorders, and addiction.

While people in show business today are often respected if they manage to break into the mainstream, this wasn’t the case in the olden days. In fact, many of them occupied low rungs of society. Romans saw actors in the same rung as gladiators, prostitutes, and criminals. Showgirls were exploited and expected to be sexually available to male customers. Silent film actors worked grueling hours, worked in harsh conditions, and had their lives scrutinized by the studios and the press. While black jazz musicians were often screwed due to systemic racism in the recording industry. Anyway, perhaps you dreamed of being an astronaut during the early days of space travel. Maybe you imagined yourself as a sword-fighting musketeer. Or perhaps an old-timey circus performer. Nonetheless, in this post, here are ten more historical jobs and their dark realities.

81. Astronaut – To be an astronaut, one would have to be made of the right stuff so to speak. But to be someone to make that one small step for man, you’d have to really be one tough cookie. Because while being an astronaut now is nothing to sneeze at, the old days were a whole different matter. For one, early spacecraft lacked bathrooms or running water. Doing your business meant using plastic bags and tape, which often leaked or failed in zero gravity. Astronauts quickly got smelly, sticky, and sick from the lack of proper bathing. Also, as of 2026, bathing mostly comprises of sponge baths and wearing the same clothes until they wore out to be thrown away. But at least there’s toilets. Second, being in zero gravity really screws up your brain. More than half of all astronauts today suffer from severe motion sickness in their first few days. Early on, this meant dealing with intense dizziness and puking inside a small, sealed helmet. Third, early capsules like Mercury and Gemini gave you as much room as the front seat of a compact car. Astronauts were strapped into their seats for hours before launch. And due to their suits being so stiff, they couldn’t move their arms without significant effort. Fourth, speaking of these capsules, they offered poor insulation against the vacuum of space. The side facing the sun would be extremely hot while the shaded side would be freezing cold. The cabins were often drafty and damp, making it difficult to stay comfortable or sleep. Finally, during a mission, early astronauts lived in the ultimate “fishbowl” meaning that every breath they took, every move they made, doctors back earth tracked and record them for very justifiable reasons. Since everyone wanted these people to return home alive. They had zero privacy, were constantly away from their families, and had to work long shifts while doing dangerous tasks. That’s not getting into the constant risk of death and working with experimental technology. On the bright side, at least it pays well, gives you a great sense of accomplishment, and people look up to you as a hero. Besides, despite all what these people went through, most of the early astronauts always saw their time in space as a great privilege to be part of history.

82. Bounty Hunter – Whether it’s in the Middle Ages or out west, bounty hunters always seem to be the definitive anti-hero stopping at nothing to get the job done. But despite how cool bounty hunters may appear in westerns or science fiction, the job was anything but. For one, tracking outlaws meant spending weeks in the wilderness dealing with freezing weather, starvation, and disease. You also had to survive confrontations with hardened criminals who knew they’d hang if caught. Due to this, bounty hunters had a high mortality rate and were frequent targets by the friends and family of the people they pursued. Second, while movies show huge life-changing payouts, the reality was much less profitable. Most were about $100 or less, hardly enough for a full-time gig. Also, governments and banks often refused to pay after you bring the suspect in, using legal loopholes or claiming the paperwork wasn’t filed exactly right. While bringing in a fugitive “dead or alive” was a risky endeavor. A damaged body could ruin your chances of getting paid because authorities couldn’t identify the criminal. Thus, in order to make ends meet, bounty hunters often had to work other dangerous day jobs like mining, ranching, or as a local police officer. Third, unlike the cool bounty hunters you see in westerns, most people widely disliked bounty hunters. Many people in Old West towns hated the banks, railroads, and wealthy landowners who paid for these services. In fact, ordinary citizens often chose to hide outlaws rather than help a bounty hunter, viewing the latter as a greedy mercenary. Fourth, a bounty hunter was basically a solo police officer without a gang. Should you corner a violent gang, you had to fight entirely on your own or with a small, hired crew. You had to provide your own weapons, horses, and food. And if you were injured on the job, there was no healthcare or paid time off.

83. Submarine Crewman – Whether it’s hunting for the German U-Boats during the world wars or looking at undersea life, being on a submarine always seemed like a thrilling adventure. Yet, submarine life wasn’t like being at Captain Nemo’s digs. For one, you and over 50 other guys are in a cramped metal tube for weeks where there aren’t enough beds for everyone. Since crew members work in 8-hour ships, it’s best that you find a friend to share your bunk. When one man woke up and went to his job, another man crawled in the exact warm bed to sleep. So say goodbye to your personal space. Second, there were almost no showers and few toilets. That means you and up to 40 of your crewmates share the same bathroom and can’t bathe for a month. Crew members also didn’t change their clothes for weeks. So expect the submarine to reek of B.O., sweat, unwashed bodies, and damp metal. Third, due to lack of fresh air, all smells remained inside the submarine. How would you like to inhale the refreshing scent of diesel engine fumes and battery? Well, you better get used to it. Since the crew can’t throw away the trash, garbage was stuffed into every empty space. Also, food was often stored right next to torpedoes, giving the cuisine a taste of toxic fuel. Fourth, you and your fellow crewmates are often underwater for weeks at a time without ever seeing the sun. This will completely mess up your natural circadian rhythm. When the crew finally surfaced and breathed fresh air, expect the sudden change in oxygen and bright light sometimes making you dizzy. Fifth, during a battle, being trapped in a submarine was extremely scary. If the ship got hit, the boat could rapidly sink. It’s no wonder this was one of the most dangerous jobs in the military during World War II. For instance, about 75% of German U-Boat sailors died during the war. Finally, during a sea battle, you had to basically sit quietly in the dark while enemy ships dropped underwater bombs (called depth charges). And remember, sound travels faster through water. So try to stay calm when any loud explosions make the submarine shake violently. This constant pressure naturally caused severe anxiety and stress.

84. Pinkerton Detective – Working for a major detective agency in Chicago, the Pinkerton detective never sleep. Especially when it comes to capturing Old West outlaws in westerns. However, the job itself was anything but glamorous. For one, after the American Civil War, the Pinkerton Detective Agency gained a notorious reputation for acting as a private army for wealthy industrialists. Because during the late 1800s, Pinkerton detectives were used as strikebreakers and union infiltrators. Because they were frequently used to crush strikes and protect corporate interests, working-class people despised them. Second, detectives went undercover for months at a time, living in fear of being discovered. For instance, when famous agent James McParland infiltrated the Molly Maguires (a coal miner secret society), exposure meant almost certain death. Third, agents were charged with tracking down notorious outlaws like Butch Cassidy, the Sundance Kid, or the James-Younger Gang, putting targets on their backs. Raids on these targets could erupt in chaos and result in tragedy, turning public opinion against the agency further. Fourth, their anti-union activities attracted so much controversy that the US government passed the Anti-Pinkerton Act in 1893, outlawing the federal government to hire Pinkerton agents or any similar private security forces. Lastly, even today, former employees share that the job can still be grueling. Modern reviews regarding the Pinkerton corporate and security services complain about low, unlivable pay, unpaid overtime, and lack of government support.

85. Musketeer – Best remembered as the swashbuckling heroes in the classic Alexandre Dumas novel The Three Musketeers, the musketeer is an iconic figure in the popular imagination. Too bad Dumas basically lied on what a musketeer actually does. Because you never really see any of the musketeers work with, well, muskets. Unfortunately, their muskets weighed 10-15lbs and were so long and unwieldly that they had to rest them on a wooden stick just to aim. These 17^th century muskets took a long time to reload and the gunpowder was highly unstable. A careless soldier with a lit match could accidentally light the gunpowder and blow up his entire squad. While a long reloading time made them highly vulnerable to enemy charges. So a musketeer required protection from fellow soldiers called pikemen who carried long spears to keep enemies away. In addition despite their romanticized reputation as elite fighters, musketeers spent 90% of their time marching in the mud, setting up camp, and doing chores. To make matters worse, musketeers had to be nobles so even if a soldier was incredibly brave and a great fighter, he couldn’t get promoted to certain high ranks if he was born to a poor family. So maybe Dumas was right to make the musketeers be rapier wielding duelists. But at least they get to wear cool outfits.

86. Missionary – Whether a priest in Latin America or a minister in Africa, missionaries have traveled to the ends of the earth to spread the word of God. But the job was anything but a godly adventure. First, missionaries had to travel months, sometimes years, across oceans and rough terrain to reach their destinations. Moving to totally new parts of the world exposed them to illnesses their bodies weren’t used to. Many missionaries died from diseases like malaria before they could even start. They also lived in basic, uncomfortable conditions, far from any doctors or modern comforts. Although this wasn’t a much of a problem for Dr. David Livingstone because he was an actual doctor. Second, locals treated missionaries with deep suspicion, rightly seeing them as threats to their traditional ways of life and community bonds. In some cases, missionaries were also stuck between native people and ruling colonial governments. Sometimes like in The Mission, they protected locals from greedy traders or local soldiers trying to exploit them. But locals still grouped them together as “invaders.” And sometimes they were just as exploitative to the locals such as in the Spanish Americas and the British Empire. Seriously, missionary relationships with the locals can be very complicated. Should the missionaries be Protestant, having to send kids back to their home countries (so they wouldn’t get sick or lose their cultural roots) often meant families being separated for long periods of time. Finally, let’s not ignore that missionaries forced conversions and punished indigenous children speaking their native language or practicing their cultural traditions. Also, by teaching people that their ancient ancestors were “primitive” and “wrong,” left behind generations of communities dealing with fractured identities and shame. But at least the Spanish ones had good taste in architecture and interior design.

87. Conquistador – Sure, conquistadors aren’t exactly good guys in media. But sometimes media makes being the bad guys look pretty cool now and then. And conquistadors coming in, causing hell in Meso and South America, and stealing a haul of loot are no exception. However, if you’re an indigenous person in Latin America, well, you can at least take some comfort that the guys who nearly erased your culture didn’t have it that great either. For one, conquistadors weren’t regular army on a royal payroll, but private contractors who financed their own gear. Marching hundreds of miles through unfamiliar, hostile terrain meant no supply lines. Expeditions frequently ran out of food, forcing them to eat their own horses, boots, or leather saddles just to survive. Second, the Americas threw every harsh climate imaginable at them from freezing temperatures and altitude sickness in the Andes Mountains, to scorching and arid deserts, lush jungles filled with every possible death trap, and low-lying mosquito-infested swamps. Third, while Spanish diseases devastated Native populations, conquistadors were also highly vulnerable to tropical fevers, malaria, yellow fever, and dysentery ripped through camps. Without modern medicine, even a minor sword cut or basic infection could quickly become fatal. Fourth, while many indigenous groups have advance sanitation and daily bathing habits, 16^th century Europeans rarely bathed and wore heavy woolen clothes in the tropics. While they were constantly infested with lice and fleas. Fifth, since conquistadors were vastly outnumbered by the Native American empires they attacked, they lived in constant, terrifying fear of ambushes. So they often had to sleep in their uncomfortable, heavy armor. But at least this job pays well, right? Don’t be silly. Conquistador outings in the Americas were essentially high-risk investments. Many rank-and-file soldiers borrowed heavily to buy armors and weapons. Should an expedition find nothing, they returned physically broken, heavily in debt, or dead. Only a tiny fraction of the leaders ever got rich. Whereas, the average soldier saw very little of that legendary “plunder.”

88. Continental Officer – Serving as a Continental officer seems like a great honor especially if one’s close to General George Washington. But the reality wasn’t a 4^th of July picnic. For one, like their Continental rank and file, Continental officers were paid in Continental currency, which lost its value so quickly that a colonel’s monthly pay could barely buy a pair of boots. While many officers went into debt just to pay for their uniforms. Second, many colonial militias voted for their own officers. Should an officer be a strict boss, his men may simply refuse to follow his orders or threaten to leave. Third, also like the Continental soldier, Continental officers were more likely to die from smallpox, typhus, and dysentery than from any British musket ball. Supplies were so bad that officers often shared their freezing, starving conditions as their enlisted men. Fourth, the Continental Congress constantly undermined commanders by giving ranks to wealthy, politically connected men who had absolutely no military experience. Leading to fierce rivalries, backstabbing, and plots to oust General Washington. Finally, like their enlisted counterparts, Continental officers were often treated as traitors than as prisoners of war. They could be thrown into notoriously brutal prison ships in New York, where thousands died of starvation and disease.

89. Midwife – When it comes to a woman giving birth in a historical setting, one always has to have a midwife around to see it through. However, the midwife life was a brutal one. First, before modern medicine, infant and maternal mortality rates were very high. Whenever a childbirth was beset with tragedy, the community often looked for a scapegoat, making midwives frequent targets to blame. Second, from the 15^th to 17^th centuries in Europe, local religious leaders and male physicians were deeply suspicious of independent female healers. Because midwives held birth secrets and dealt with life and death, they often faced accusations of witchcraft. The famous 1486 book on hunting witches, the Malleus Maleficarum, even claimed that midwives did “more harm to the Catholic faith,” than anyone else, leading to terrifying witch trials. Third, midwives often worked around the clock like in early 20^th century London. They’d carry heavy bags, be out in rain and snow at all hours of the night to deliver babies, often for little pay and sometimes for free. Shifts could also last as long as 48 hours. Fourth, without modern sanitation, antiseptics, or pain relief, midwives had to watch women endure hours of agonizing labor while managing severe bleeding or life-threatening infections. Without modern pain medications, midwives had to rely on herbal remedies, massage, and emotional comfort to get mothers through the ordeal. Lastly, beginning in the 18^th and 19^th centuries, male doctors began taking an interest in childbirth. So the medical establishment systemically pushed out traditional midwives out of the profession, calling them “dirty,” “uneducated,” and “dangerous.” Eventually laws were passed preventing traditional community midwives from practicing.

90. Circus Performer – Stories about the circus often depict exotic animals, acrobats, clowns, dancers, freaks, and other colorful characters under an enormous tent. However, life under the Big Top during its heyday was less of a colorful spectacle and more of a nightmare. And not just for the animals either. First, if you become a circus performer, know that historical circuses traveled constantly, moving hundreds of people, animals, and tons of equipment by horse and wagon (later by heavy train) was exhausting. As a performer, you’re expected to set up and tear down massive canvas tents, perform multiple daily shows, and sleep in cramped, unsanitary quarters. This took an immense physical toll and you couldn’t take a sick day. Second, if you’re an aerialist, acrobat, human cannonball or anyone else who specializes in incredibly high-stakes, life threatening tricks, know that this is a time when modern safety harnesses, medical nets, and strict labor laws don’t yet exist. So a single bad fall or miscalculation can spell severe injury or death. Performers daily risked their lives and if they got hurt, well, their career was over. Third, if you have a physical disability or unique medical condition, you’ll be subject to severe human rights abuses. Promoters like P.T. Barnum frequently forced these people into degrading stage names and fabricated backstories to make them seem exotic or alien to the audience. These performers were treated like property, put on public display like zoo animals, and exploited for profit. Fourth, many so-called “golden age” circus managers exerted total control over their workers’ lives. Performers signed restrictive contracts that included heavy fines for breaking curfews, missing rehearsals, or even getting sick. Managers could dock pay or fire performers on the spot, leaving them stranded in unknown towns with no money to return home. Lastly, since life on the road was notoriously tough, circus owners were often ruthless. Performers and sideshow acts who grew older, lost their physical peak, or became injury prone were often fired and frequently left to fend for themselves. Without modern retirement, savings, or disability benefits, aging performers often ended up in extreme poverty.

Despite how some images of certain professions may give us feelings of nostalgia, it often baffles the mind to how dangerous they could be. Train engineers risked life and limb every time they went to work and were almost always on call. Mail carriers had more obstacles to overcome. Actors were seen as moral vagrants and prostitutes. Anyway, it’s likely that you may have imagined yourself as exploring the unknown parts of the world. You have admired the graceful geisha. Or think that grenadiers just guard Buckingham Palace. In this post, we’ll look at ten more historical jobs and their shady realities that we don’t often think about.

71. Explorer – Traveling through parts yet unknown, explorers have mapped and shaped the world for better or for worse. But explorer life wasn’t always one of glamorous discoveries. So before you embark on your ship or on an expedition, here’s what you need to know. First, expect your fresh food supply to run out in weeks. Due to lack of knowledge of Vitamin C at the time, scurvy will rot your gums, open old wounds, and cause teeth to fall out. Explorers often resorted to eating leather boots, sawdust, candles, and pack animals just to survive. Second, due to the complete absence of modern medicine, simple infections, snake bites, or blood poisoning often means a slow death. Dysentery and cholera tears through camps. While respiratory diseases plague cramped, damp ships. Third, expect to be paralyzed by the weather. Whether it’s being pinned down by blizzards or stranded in stagnant doldrums, you’ll have to ration shrinking food supplies for weeks or months while simply doing nothing aside from waiting to starve or freeze. Whichever comes first. Fourth, since you live at a time of no GPS SOS buttons, radios, or a way of calling for backup, leaving home means completely disappearing into the void for years at a time. Leaving your family completely in the dark regarding your own location while you have no idea on what’s going on back home. Fifth, when food runs out, expect morale to plummet while living in fear of your own freezing, desperate, or starving crews turning on you. Lastly, without access to accurate maps, expect to sail into uncharted reefs or hack through impassable jungles. Since you’ll rely on rudimentary instruments like sextants, you’ll put you and your crew’s life at the mercy of imperfect map and weather obstructions.

72. Butcher – Like the miller and blacksmith, the butcher is one of the mainstays of the Fisher Price historical village set and for good reason. But while this is a job many expect to be unpleasant, that’s just scratching the surface. First, because being a butcher means handling blood, carcasses, and death, it’s considered an “unclean” trade. Although you’re seen as providing a vital service in Europe, you’ll often be socially isolated and have to live in designated streets or rows away from polite society. If you live in East Asia before modern times, then well, consider yourself as part of the lowest “untouchable” caste, facing heavy discrimination. Due to heavy pre-modern influence of moral philosophies like Confucianism and Buddhism, expect people to look down on commerce and taking life. Second, since modern refrigeration doesn’t exist yet, butchering’s physically exhausting and dangerous. Since meat’s a perishable product, you must work at a breakneck pace to dress animals and get cuts to market before spoilage. So you’ll put yourself at constant risk of severe injury from sharp blades. That it’ll be a miracle you’ll grow old and die with all your digits intact. While the stink of blood, fat, and animal waste constantly clings to you, alienating you from the general public. Fourth, due to tainted meat’s tendency to cause mass illness, food safety regulations are ruthlessly enforced without modern science to help them. Get caught selling spoiled or contaminated meat, you’ll face heavy fines, imprisonment, and public humiliation. If you’re in Medieval Europe, you can be put in the pillory while your rotten meat will be burned right in front of you. Finally, if you live in Medieval Europe, always check the liturgical calendar and watch out for mandated fasting and meatless days like Lent and Fridays. During these periods, selling meat is forbidden. So you’ll be forced into intense periods of over-production when you’re next allowed to work. But on the bright side, at least you’re not the executioner.

73. Tavern Keeper – For much of history, the tavern was the public gathering place for local life outside of religious and government buildings. While being a tavern keeper is often depicted as a community fixture from Medieval Europe to the Old West where you provide food, drinks, and lodging for weary travelers. So before you open a keg of ale, let’s go over a few things about tavern keeping. You start your day before dawn having to clear out last night’s foul-smelling straw from the floor that’s often soaked in beer, urine, and vomit before replacing it with fresh straw. Due to poorly ventilated hearths and no indoor plumbing, preparing massive amounts of food means hauling lots of water from a well or pump and breathing in carbon monoxide. Since taverns are major communication hubs, they often act as the epicenter of superspreader events due to daily hosting hundreds of potentially diseased or contagious travelers, mercenaries, and locals. While open flames, candles, and poor ventilation mean that your entire livelihood and home could and often did burn to the ground. Expect town officials checking your brews by pouring ale onto a bench and sitting in it. If their leather pants stuck to the wood, then the ale has too much unfermented sugar. So you’ll be heavily fined or forced to drink the spoiled beverage in front of the entire town square. Local and/or religious authorities also heavily regulate you as well. As allowing brawls, gambling, or illegal prostitution on your premises can result in you losing your license or facing prosecution. Since taverns are melting pots of different social classes getting drunk, expect frequent violent fights that can turn violent and occasionally kill someone. You’re also expected to calm down drunken brawlers, break up knife fights, and protect your establishment. And if you’re a saloon keeper, you must make sure that your patrons drop their firearms by the door. You also have to act as a localized diplomat or spy, knowing everyone’s secrets while keeping your patrons’ trust. All while avoiding treason accusations or conspiracy by local authorities. On the plus side, although keeping a tavern is stressful work that will involve you and your whole family maintaining it, it’s actually one of the better jobs since you aren’t stigmatized by the general public but the center of it. And that puts you in a good position in the community.

74. Tax Collector – Today being a tax collector is just a local official most people don’t think much of until the tax bill comes due. But from Biblical times to Colonial America, they were amongst the most hated people in town. But is was as a bad job as they say? In the aspect other jobs were, no. But in the social aspect, absolutely. Although it’s one of the oldest professions, it almost universally sucked since it made you the face of an unwanted bill. In the ancient world, tax collectors were often locals hired by occupying foreign forces who weren’t always liked. Roman-occupied Palestine during the life of Jesus is a prime example of this. Because a tax collector’s job was to collect revenue for a hated foreign power, their neighbors and family viewed them as a traitor amongst their own people. In some empires that didn’t hire civil servants, the government auctioned off the right to collect taxes to the highest bidder. Thus, the only way for the tax collector to break even and profit, you have to charge your fellow citizens way more than the official rate, leading deep resentment from those being exploited. Thus, due to their reputation for extortion and collaborating with foreign powers, tax collectors were perceived as social pariahs. Jesus’ own ancient Jewish community strictly grouped them in the same category as murderers, robbers, and prostitutes. They were banned from synagogues and couldn’t even testify in Jewish courts. That’s why the gospels have stories about Jesus reaching out to these people when other people wouldn’t. Because your entire job is shaking people down for their hard-earned money, your job is frequently dangerous. In fact, you may have to hire “thugs” or rely on military protection just to do your job. Should the people stage a rebellion or popular uprising (like the Zealot revolts in Rome), your house will be the first stop for the violent mob. Sure, although the IRS may not be popular because it required the government to pry into people’s private financial records, at least it can brag about nailing Al Capone.

75. Nurse – In historical dramas, nurses always appeared as angels during wartime and potential love interests. However, when an upper middle-class girl named Florence Nightingale told her family that she wanted to be a nurse in 1844, they weren’t about it at all, to put it mildly. And not because she was a woman wanting a career. But rather before she came along to formalize the job as the modern profession we know today, nursing had a terrible reputation. In fact, in the English-speaking world, nursing was relegated to the “undesirable” classes. Hospitals frequently staffed their wards with recovering patients, workhouse inmates, or women serving sentences for petty crimes (like public drunkenness). Because they were untrained and lacked job security, mistreatment of patients and rampant alcoholism among the staff were common. And now you can see the look of horror on Mr. and Mrs. Nightingale’s faces. Yet, even after Florence Nightingale came in to found modern nursing and revolutionize medicine as we know it, it didn’t easily catch on. For one, nursing before modern sanitation and antibiotics was incredibly dangerous. Caring for contagious patients meant high exposure to cholera, typhus, and tuberculosis, the last being the death nail to any career in the medical field if you ask Anton Chekov and Doc Holliday. Battlefield nurses in wars like the Crimean and the American Civil War worked in unimaginable filth, treated horrific injuries without gloves, masks, or antiseptic. This frequently resulted in the nurses themselves contracting lethal diseases. And if you think historical nursing was about treating patients and administering medication, you’re sorely mistaken. Nurses also did the heavy, grueling work of running medical facilities in an era long before automated equipment and janitorial staffs. These tasks include hauling coal, scrubbing floors, washing linens, scrubbing bedpans, pounding raw drugs, cooking food for patients, and lifting and turning heavy, immobile patients for hours on end with no mechanical help. Early nursing systems were also strictly hierarchical with nurses being completely subservient to physicians. In many cases, nurses couldn’t comfort patients or offer basic relief like water unless a doctor had explicitly recommended it, making them feel helpless and unable to exercise basic compassion. For a long time, hospitals took advantage of nursing students who provided cheap labor in exchange for meager room and board. Later, during the transition to “private duty nursing,” nurses faced brutal economic realities. They relied on temporary work registries, meaning their financial security was constantly in jeopardy, especially during economic downturns during the Gret Depression. But one silver lining is that after Florence Nightingale, nurses weren’t expected by their workplaces to be sexually available by their own establishments.

76. Geisha – Legendary Japanese beauties and entertainers, they almost have an ethereal quality to them. However, the job wasn’t as effortless as these women make it out to be. Before you put on that kimono before the modern times, here’s what you need to know. First, you’ll likely start out as a teenage girl your young woman sold to a geisha house (okiya) by your impoverished family. While the house initially pays for your expensive kimono, lessons, and food, you’ll be bound to a system of debt-bondage that will make it very difficult to leave. Doesn’t help that you’ll be paid less than minimum wage in the process. Second, you’ll be completely isolated from the outside world. You’ll be cut off from your family, have no personal privacy, and be heavily restricted from having any romantic relationships. Third, your iconic oshiri makeup is lead-based, which will cause you severe skin damage and hair loss over time. While walking in wooden elevated clogs (geta) and sitting on tatami mats in heavy, restrictive kimonos caused severe back and joint pain.  While you must maintain perfect composure and entertain patrons no matter how dull, drunk, or handsy they may be. Fourth, while modern Japan views geishas as highly respected traditional artists, the ruling elite of feudal Japan considered geishas like you on the lowest tier of society. Lastly, many street prostitutes started referring to themselves as geishas as a way to cater to foreign soldiers during and after World War II. This will almost destroy the real geisha profession and give rise to harmful stereotypes persisting today.

77. Grenadier – You remember these guys as the men in the red uniforms and tall furry hats who guard Buckingham Palace. While the hardest part of their day seems like standing at the gates and remaining unflappable to those pesky tourists trying to break their composure. But this wasn’t always the grenadier’s job. In fact, the very word “grenadier” reveals that their original job was of an elite front-line soldier specialized with throwing grenades. And in the 18^th century, a grenade was essentially a hollow cast-iron sphere filled with gunpowder and sealed with a fuse. Throwing one of these required incredible upper-body strength and nerves of steel. Grenadiers also had to carry a burning match-cord (slow match) in a special case on their uniforms. During the battlefield chaos, they had to pull the grenade, transfer the burning match to the fuse, light it, and throw it. All while at the risk of being shot at close range. Should a grenadier throw the grenade too early, the enemy could just pick it up and throw it back. If he held it too long to prevent this, the explosive could detonate in his hand or in the air right above his comrades. And given this grenade’s short firing range (which was 30-50 yards), grenadiers were frequently exposed to their own blasts. Since grenadiers were seen as the bravest and most imposing men in the army, they were often grouped together as shock troops. Whenever a breach had to be stormed or a line broken, the grenadiers went first. Meaning they had to directly sprint into the face of devastating, concentrated fire and artillery, taking the brunt of the casualties in nearly every major battle. Selected for their sheer size, height, and physical strength, a grenadier’s gear didn’t just carry a normal musket, heavy leather pouches, and a sword, they also carried a large satchel filled with iron grenades. To free their arms for throwing, they also had to wear a specialized miter or bearskin caps instead of the wide-brimmed hats standard infantry wore. Sure, these tall hats look imposing and intimidating, but they’re exceptionally heavy and offer no protection from the elements. Even though tactical use of the iron ball grenades actually declined in the late 1700s due to inaccurate ranges and dangerous logistics, grenadiers remained an army’s premier assault and elite flank units. In addition, commanders still subjected them to the most physically exhausting tasks on the battlefield, including frantic outflanking marches and grueling uphill charges.

78. Artilleryman – Also fighting alongside the grenadier was the artilleryman or a gunner who operates the cannons on the battlefield. Of course, this is hardly a glamorous job but it’s one that many people don’t think much of. But being an artilleryman was an absolute nightmare. For one, firing a cannon creates a massive shockwave. Since ear protection didn’t exist, repeated booming blasts caused instant, permanent hearing damage and ruptured eardrums. Over time, concussions from blasts could scramble an artilleryman’s brain, causing long-term problems. And they thought CTE was just something that happened to NFL football players. Second, because artillery caused the majority of battlefield deaths like in both World War I and World War II, enemy armies make destroying your guns their top priority. Enemies used “counter battery fire,” which entails shooting heavy artillery guns at your artillery. This leaves artillerymen sitting ducks out in the open, often taking direct hits. Third, before the availability of modern, clean-burning propellants, cannons used black gunpowder or early chemical explosives. When fired, these weapons filled the air with thick clouds of choking, toxic smoke. Artillerymen constantly breathed this in, scarring their lungs and making them sick. Fourth, moving a cannon was incredibly hard work. Before motorized vehicles, gun crews and horses had to drag multi-ton metal cannons across muddy, uneven battlefields. During the fight, pushing, loading, and aiming cannon required hours of heavy, sweaty lifting. Fifth, early cannon artillery shells were highly unpredictable. Sometimes a shell would explode inside the barrel, blowing up the entire gun crew. In the days of black gunpowder, if a spark lingered while you tried to reload, the gun could prematurely fire and blow the loader’s arms off. Sixth, in the traditional line of battle, artillery always went behind infantry and for good reason. However, should an enemy’s army break through the front line, artillerymen were completely exposed. Due to being busy operating heavy cannon, they often had to defend themselves in desperate hand-to-hand combat using their short swords and loading tools. Finally, when off the battlefield, artillerymen lived in crowded, muddy camps. They had to sleep on the hard ground and endure freezing weather, all while by being a target for enemy chemical weapons or raids.

79. Plague Doctor – One historical costume that gets a lot of attention is of the plague doctor. Resembling Big Bird’s evil twin, you’re bound to find at least one at a costume party or Renaissance Festival. However, the real job was more of a nightmare than anything you’d see on Halloween. First, due to prevalence of the miasma theory of diseases spreading through stinky air, plague doctors filled the famous bird-like beak masks with pleasant-smelling herbs to block this rancid air. Considering this is the era before modern sanitation while horses took dumps on the streets, you could imagine that smelly bad air being everywhere. As for treating actual symptoms, well, they used the latest medical practices available like bloodletting or applying live toads to the swollen sores. Of course, these treatments were ineffective and sometimes killed patients faster. Second, plague doctors constantly exposed themselves to well, the plague. Since the disease actually spread through fleas and bacteria, the cool leather suit and the sweet-swelling evil Big Bird mask did absolutely nothing to protect them. In fact, many plague doctors became infected and died within weeks of taking the job. Third, when a plague hit, cities hired plague doctors because the “real” physicians usually fled to the countryside to save their own skins. Because they handled contagious bodies, local laws forced them into strict quarantine. They couldn’t live near healthy people, go to public spaces, or see their families. Thus, they were prisoners of their own job. But at least the job pays well, doesn’t it? Actually city governments paid plague doctors a salary that was very difficult to collect. In fact, many cities outright refused to pay plague doctors up after the work was done. Sometimes desperate citizens kidnapped them for ransom.

80. Maid – A mainstay in many period pieces, maids are often background characters or characters themselves. Sometimes they may find romance. Sometimes they’d find a dead body. Yet, like many servants, it was hardly a day at the palace. For one, as a maid, you worked from early in the morning to late at night. At no time did you have any free time or were able to get off. If your boss needed something in the middle of the night, you’d get up and do it. You were rarely allowed guests, even in the kitchen. If you had any opportunity for a social life at all, it would be on that half-day you had off once a week or Sunday morning for church. Sometimes not even that. If you were a maid of all work, you could forget having any life at all. Second, your employer feels entitled to dictate everything about your life. As a servant, you weren’t allowed to date. But given that no dating rules aren’t the most enforceable, you’ll be constantly watched for any signs of a love life or gasp, pregnancy. Some employers didn’t even like their servants leaving the house, occasionally locking them inside. Third, despite you being expected to live at your workplace, not all country estates have servants’ quarters or wings until later in the 19^th century. So don’t count on having a bed, let alone a room to yourself. Perhaps expect to sleep in closets, on landings, or even the kitchen floor. If you’re lucky enough to get a room, it won’t have a door. If a key existed, your employer or the housekeeper kept it, not you. Fourth, if you’re harassed or assaulted, you have no recourse. If you speak up, consider yourself out of a job. And if you find yourself pregnant, then they’ll blame you and send you out the door. Speaking of pregnancy, your employer really doesn’t want that to happen. Sure, they may frame it in terms of needing to embody virtue, morality, and respectability. But it’s mainly because getting married and having children would interfere with your 24/7 availability. Even when the pregnancy’s entirely your boss’ fault due to putting you in a position where you couldn’t say no. Fifth, expect your wages not being paid on time. You should also expect your employer to withhold some of your pay for all kinds of infractions like breaking things, leaving before the agreed-on date, going home for the holidays, not going to church, badly done work, getting drunk, etc. Sure, you could sue for unpaid wages, but why go through all the trouble? Also, your wages will be far lower than what your male co-workers earn naturally. Since it’s only supposed to be a job you do until you could find a husband. But if you don’t, then expect your wages to decrease as you age or consider advancing to cook, housekeeper, or lady’s maid. Finally, it’s likely that your employers resent you if you’re in the 18^th and 19^th century.

You may notice in this series that the criminal professions aren’t really as great as the movies and TV. Sure, they’re seen as earning a lot of money and hanging out with their friends. However, life on the wrong side of the law is one of constant danger from the law or rival criminal gangs. Not to mention the constant threat of betrayal is always breathing down your neck. That it’s hardly any wonder why so many end up dead or in prison. Anyway, how many of you had wished you could be the top man in Rome during the Empire? How about a glamorous silent film actor during the 1920s? Or even a courtesan living a lavish lifestyle in Belle Epoque Paris? Here are ten more historical professions and their grim realities.

61. Roman Emperor – Being a Roman Emperor means being the most powerful man in the western world. With pop culture always depicting them in a glorious toga and with every need at their disposal. But before you get too comfortable in that purple toga and laurel wreath, here’s what you need to know. First, you’re faced with the constant threat of assassination. With your personal Praetorian guard posing your biggest danger. Wait, aren’t they supposed to protect you? Yes, they’re technically your bodyguards. But they also realized early on that they make a fortune by killing the emperor and selling the throne to the highest bidder. This chaos defined periods like the Third Century Crisis when dozens of emperors, were killed by their own troops, abdicated, or overthrown within months. Think of it as if the Secret Service killed the US President before putting the presidency up for auction. Second, if you think being emperor just consists of eating grapes and watching gladiator matches, you’re sorely mistaken. You’re essentially an administrative one-man Supreme Court. This means listening to petitions, reviewing trials, and setting legal precedents across a massive Mediterranean empire stretching from England to the Holy Land. All while deal with wealthy senators making petty and politically motivated accusations against yours truly. Third, whenever everything goes south, you’re the guy everyone will blame. Whether it’s delayed grain shipments, a local plague outbreak, or a devastating fire, people will look to you to fix it. If it’s a military campaign, forget about delegating it from your villa in the capital. No, you must issue orders from the front lines while facing hostile tribes or rival empires. Fourth, know that every waking hour of your day is a public performance. That means looking pious, strong, and respectable 24/7. All daily palace activities are strictly choreographed to reinforce your status. Not to mention, constantly having to appease the masses with bread and circuses to remain popular as well as keeping the army paid and happy to stay alive.

62. Train Engineer – In movies and TV show period pieces and westerns, the train engineer was a guy whom you don’t really think much of unless he’s the brave Casey Jones or if you’re singing delightful kid songs. However, being a train engineer in the olden was nothing like it is now. In fact, it was a nightmare people today can’t imagine. First, since predictable shifts don’t exist, you’re required to be on-call 24/7 and live by the phone. Missing one meant demotion or termination so you’ll be forced into a lifestyle of chronic sleep deprivation and disrupted family lives. Second, during the Age of Steam, know that a single water glass failure could result in a massive, devastating boiler explosion in seconds. That means you and your firemen literally putting your lives on the line with every trip while racing down tracks to meet punishing schedules. Sometimes lasting for 18 hours to whole days. Third, operating a locomotive means dealing with unpredictable variables. So expect witnessing terrible, unavoidable tragedies like striking stalled cars at crossings or pedestrian accidents. Fourth, since cabs aren’t climate controlled at this time, you must endure freezing winters and scorching summers. Expect cab environments to be loud, dirty, and filled with blinding smoke and soot, leading to a host of long-term respiratory and health issues. Finally, if you must do long-hauls, you must know virtually every inch of rail lines by memory, handle complex routing, and do mechanical troubleshooting on the fly while on the road. But at least it pays well.

63. Courtesan – A high-end prostitute with a wealthier clientele, a courtesan is a dolled-up woman who’s seems to have it better than your common streetwalker. Some even became fashion icons, influencers, and legends in their own right like Cora Pearl, La Belle Otero, Lola Montez, Lady Emma Hamilton, Madame Du Barry, Kitty Fisher, Catherine Walters, and Mata Hari. But the reality was far darker and one you should seriously reconsider. For one, you’re often contractually bound to indenture, effectively making you your brothel owner’s property. You have no legal right to choose clients or choose the terms of your work. Doesn’t help that many of you came in as minors sold by your impoverished families, which we today widely recognize as a severe form of forced sex work. Second, despite what you see in many period dramas, a courtesan like you rarely kept the money you earn. Even when you’re beset with lavish gifts or allowances, you’re often trapped in insurmountable debt. Doesn’t help that brothel owners heavily inflate costs for required food, extravagant clothing, makeup, and housing. Furthermore, courtesans often fell victim to swindlers or abusive partners who exploited their wealth. Third, due to this being the advent of modern medicine, you’re highly vulnerable to sexually transmitted diseases. With syphilis being notorious for ravaging your co-workers. You also have to worry about unintended pregnancies, frequent back-alley abortions, and the toxic effects of heavy makeup like white lead-based powder. All of which will severely damage your physical health and often lead to early deaths. Fourth, regardless of education, wit, or financial success, courtesans like you face deep-rooted social marginalization. The general public sees you as “immoral.” Because your survival depends on your patrons, your status in society is incredibly fragile. Should you fall from favor, you have no safety net and will most likely be cast in extreme poverty. Finally, contrary to the idea of a glamorous sisterhood, your environment amongst your courtesan co-workers is intensely competitive and often cruel. You have to constantly outshine one another to attract wealthy benefactors. Doesn’t help that common courtesans endured harsh living conditions and psychological abuse as well as live under a brothel owner’s strict hierarchy. Sure, some women become rich being a courtesan and it’s better than a common prostitute. But most of the time it’s just as deeply exploitative as being a regular prostitute.

64. Dollar Princess – On Downton Abbey, Lady Cora Crawley’s one of hundreds of rich young American heiresses from newly rich American business tycoons to titled European aristocracy needing cash. These include names like British MP Nancy Astor, Winston Churchill’s mother Jennie, a vicereine of India named Lady Mary Curzon, Anna Gould, and Consuelo Vanderbilt. However, most of these dollar princesses didn’t have a happy ending like Lady Cora. In fact, a lot of these dollar princesses had noble marriages that were downright miserable. If you were a dollar princess, it was mostly because your ambitious parents forced you into matrimony as a bargaining chip. While your prospective husband most likely sees you as a human down payment needed to save his crumbling estate. And he’ll like you treat you with apathy and disdain. Because your marriage was a business transaction between your families, don’t be surprised if your husband’s got a mistress he’ll likely maintain on your dowry. Like many noble husbands of dollar princesses. So don’t be surprised if he subjects you to public humiliation by flaunting his infidelities and squandering your massive dowry on other women. Sure, you may came from astronomical wealth, don’t think the European elite will look highly on you. In fact, they’re more likely to thumb their noses at you, mock your “new money” origins, criticize your customs, and treat you as a social upstart. If you’re thinking about divorcing your shithead husband, then know that many countries have strict laws preventing you from easy divorce or escape your abusive or neglectful partner. Furthermore, you’ll be forced into highly restrictive domestic and ceremonial duties without any personal autonomy. So basically being a dollar princess means your ambitious parents forcing you to exchange your American independence and cultural ties to assimilate in into rigid, isolating European class systems. While effectively funding lifestyles that were often entirely built on despising them.

65. Theater Actor – To be an actor in a historical theater. To get the stage and applause as one of the first people to recite Shakespeare and other major playwrights might seem like a fantasy to many. However, throughout most of history, most actors in the theater never received the red carpet treatment. In fact, quite the opposite. Should you aspire to be an actor throughout much of history, here’s what you need to know. First, many cultures see you with intense moral contempt. And this isn’t just a medieval Christian thing either. In ancient Rome, actors are seen as infamis, stripped of their civil rights and legally placed in the exact same class as gladiators, prostitutes, and criminals. And if you were an actress, people viewed you as no better than a prostitute. Second, because of your low social standing, you virtually have no legal protection. In some eras, acting is treated as vagrancy. Local magistrates viewed traveling acting troupes with massive suspicions. They also can ban them from towns or shut down theaters entirely to “keep the peace” or keep workers from skipping out on their jobs. Third, before the rise in modern film, acting wasn’t a consistently reliable or lucrative full-time career. A theater actor like you will be dependent on seasonal festivals, unpredictable civil sponsorships, or wealthy patrons. If the show flopped or a plague swept the city and closed public gathering spaces, you’d be instantly out of work without any safety net. Fourth, since the acting profession is tied to public deception, philosophers and religious leaders condemn it because performers like you lie for a living, put your bodies on display, or play characters that could offend local leaders or morality codes. Fifth, playwrights and actors like you have to constantly walk a tightrope with the authorities. Satirizing the wrong politician, or touching on forbidden, taboo subjects in a script can get you fined, imprisoned, or banished. Finally, traveling from town to town is physically demanding. Theaters can be loud, cramped, and unsafe. Performers like you must overcome poor, smoking lighting, and use highly athletic and operatic acting styles to project your voice across large, noisy crowds without the benefit of modern microphones.

66. Silent Film Actor – Silent film actors are often romanticized for their celebrity in the early days of filmmaking. Big names like Charlie Chaplin, Buster Keaton, Clara Bow, Mary Pickford, Rudolph Valentino, Douglas Fairbanks Sr., Lon Chaney, Harold Lloyd, Gloria Swanson, John Gilbert, Louise Brooks, and others are still major names today. But despite their glamorous images in old timey posters and magazine covers, life as a silent screen actor was nothing like it seemed to be. For one, since this is the era before CGI and professional stunt doubles, actors like Buster Keaton risked life and limb performing their own high-speed chases, falls, and acrobatics. Naturally, serious injuries and even fatalities were shockingly common. Keaton occasionally suffered from broken bones and even a fractured neck. Harold Lloyd had half of his own right hand obliterated in a 1919 on-set explosion. Actor Wallace Reid began taking morphine to deal with his injuries he suffered from an on-set train accident and later developed an opiate addiction that later killed him. Second, since orthochromatic film stock didn’t react well to natural skin tones, actors had to cake their faces in thick, toxic lead-based grease paint and heavy powders. Third, to properly expose the film, studios used intensely hot, roaring carbon-arc lamps. Their brightness and radiation frequently caused temporary (and sometimes permanent) blindness, a painful condition known as “Klieg eyes.” Fourth, while it’s all quiet on the set today, Silent Era directors shouted directions, played lively music to set the mood, or yelled instructions as the camera rolled. All while actors were expected to act natural amid total auditory chaos. Fifth, as always with Hollywood, the gossip machine is absolutely vicious. Unscrupulous studio executives and publicists strictly controlled actors’ public and private lives, creating immense personal stress. Actors whose lives become embroiled in scandal faced losing their careers like Fatty Arbuckle, Mabel Normand, Clara Bow, and others. And if they were gay, well, the studio often recommended they enter into a lavender marriage. Rudolph Valentino’s first marriage with lesbian actress Jean Acker is the most famous example. And it did not end well. Lastly, when the transition to sound films in the late 1920s destroyed the silent film industry, many silent film actors were abruptly let go if they lacked stage experience, had accents, or were simply discarded by studio executives wanting to clean house. That’s not getting into the 18-hour schedules, the studio mandated drug use, the exploitation of child stars, and the treatment of actors of color.

67. Lamplighter – Alongside the chimney sweep, the lamplighter is another fixture in the Victorian landscape before electric lighting. As they’re the ones who put on the natural gas-powered street lamps at night at sundown and put them out at sunrise. However, before you light up the streets, know that such a job wasn’t as quaint as you see in period dramas. First, you had to walk long routes twice a day: once at dusk to light 70-80 gas lamps and again at daybreak to put them all out. Second, you have to climb slick, icy ladders in the dark while carrying torches or long poles making falls and injuries a constant hazard. Third, you worked in every condition imaginable, including bitterly cold blizzards, sweltering hot nights, and heavy rain because someone had to light the streets at night. Fourth, handling volatile gas lines and breathing toxic fumes was a daily reality for lighting and maintenance. Fifth, this is a 7-day-a-week job where you have no days off. You also have to be on call regardless of holidays as well. If you’re not lighting the lamps or putting them out, you’d spend the day conducting routine maintenance such as checking gas lines, cleaning the glass, and making minor repairs. But at least it pays well, doesn’t it? Actually, the average wage for a lamplighter was $1-$2 a day, which was decent at the time but still on the low side. But it sure beats cleaning chimneys.

68. Race Car Driver – Another quaint remnant from a bygone age was the historical race car driver. Driving in multi-colored cars, they seem like a charming aspect of early 20^th century life. However, we must acknowledge that regardless of how race car drivers deal with in their races today, their early 20^th century predecessors had it much worse. Should you be an early race car driver, here’s what you need to know. First, you’ll sit inches away from large, unprotected aluminum and rubber fuel tanks. Should your car crash and rupture the tank ruptured, you were often trapped in the inferno wearing nothing but a normal shirt or basic, non-fire-resistant suit. Since it’s before the days of the HANS device and trackside medical response teams, a severe crash often results in fatal head trauma, broken neck, or a slow death on the trackside due to lack of immediate, advanced medical care. Second, since air conditioning and cooling vests aren’t a thing, cockpit temperatures exceed 130 degrees, resulting in severe dehydration, heat exhaustion, and physical collapse. While maneuvering heavy, non-power-steering machines require immense physical strength. As a driver, this means wrestling the steering wheel and pushing heavy, unassisted break pedals for hours, resulting in blistered hands, bruised ribs, and chronic fatigue. Third, you have to race through fevers, injuries, and grief after burying teammates while knowing that a single mechanical failure could mean the end. But doesn’t this job at least pay well? Sorry, but this isn’t the era of modern multimillion-dollar contracts. So you’d be receiving little support and be quickly replace if you suffer an injury or slump, often leaving you with chronic physical pain, damaged health, and empty pockets after your career ends.

69. Chandler – Within the olden days economy, a chandler made candles and soap for homes and churches. Although this role is one many don’t think much of, chandlers occupied a rather important role in the local economy. Yet, before you boil the tallow, here’s what you need to know about being one. For one, you’ll most likely be a “tallow chandler,” meaning you’ll make candles from animal fat. This involves rendering huge vats of discarded suet (beef and mutton fat) in boiling cauldrons. This process releases a thick, nauseating odor smelling like rancid meat and rotting carcasses. Due to extreme foulness, towns often banish you to the outskirts just to keep the stink away from the general public. Second, you spend endless hours inhaling toxic, greasy smoke and fumes, causing respiratory issues. Boiling tallow is also highly flammable with frequent splashes and burns. While a stray spark could easily level an entire workshop. Third, you’ll make candles in two ways: dipping or pouring. You’ll spend hours dipping flax or linen wicks into hot fat, letting them cool, and dipping them again to build up the wax. You need immense patience for this process, which causes sore arms, sticky skin, and grease-stained clothing that’s almost impossible to wash. Lastly, despite your products being a daily necessity, you occupy a very low rung on the social ladder. Since tallow candles emit a lot of black soot and carry lower-class associations, this leaves the “respectable” and profitable beeswax candle market to the wax chandlers.

70. Steamboat Captain – The image of a steamed-power riverboat during the 19^th century is one of nostalgia and charm for many. Especially if it’s featured in a cartoon, movie, or musical. There are even river boat cruise fleets. However, being charge of these boats was no picnic or dinner cruise. Should you be an old-time steamboat captain, here’s what you need to know. First, once the boat’s out on the water, you must relinquish complete navigational authority to your river pilot. Because pilots have hyper-specialized knowledge of shifting sandbars, hidden snags, and river bends, they don’t answer to anyone including you. Second, steamboats utilize highly pressurized, poorly regulated steam engines, making them infamous for catastrophic explosions. Whenever these volatile engines fail, expects hundreds of lives lost and boats destroyed, ruining both your and the your crew’s investments. No pressure. Third, rivers like the Mississippi and the Missouri are littered with submerged obstacles like “snags” (large trees lodged in the riverbed). They could also puncture a steamboat’s hull, causing it to sink in mere minutes. Fourth, like most steam boat captains and their employers, expect to frequently engage in reckless races against rival steamboats to secure lucrative freight contracts and bragging rights. Pushing the engines to their absolute limits to beat another boat often directly led to boiler explosions ore disastrous fires. Finally, whenever cargo is lost, passengers die, or the boat runs aground, expect to bear the brunt of the legal and financial fallout.

         In many respects, we take for granted our daily lives of convenience with washing machines, cars, and mass communication. That we forget some of the aspects of our daily lives were done under considerable risk. Think laundry’s a pain? Families in the olden days often pay poor women to wash theirs as soon as they could afford to. Mainly because washing clothes in those days was a high-risk endeavor that took hours. Think truck drivers have it rough? Mushers had to move freight as well as contend with freezing elements within an unforgiving wilderness. While coachmen had to navigate terrible roads on relentless schedules, skittish horses, and in top heavy vehicles that posed a major risk of flipping over. Think communication is slow? But you least don’t have to hire a messenger. That being said, ever imagined yourself as a frontier doctor treating patients out west? How about a black jazz musician at the Cotton Club during the Harlem Renaissance? Or even a lumberjack in the American Northwest? In this post we’ll look at ten more historic professions and their dark realities.

51. Mail Carrier – While the job of mail carrier is often a grueling one today, it’s a government job that always provides great benefits. Even though there’s a reason why the term “going postal” exists. But whatever hardships modern mail carriers had today is nothing compared to what their historical counterparts faced. Even though they’re often depicted as friendly people who don’t often to contend with any drama during their working lives save one neighbor’s unleashed and overexcited dog. Should you be an old timey mail carrier, here’s what you need to know. First, you must battle extreme weather for hours while on foot. If you’re in a rural area, hope you’re okay with navigating on unpaved, muddy, and often flooded roads using horses, bicycles, or walking miles of treacherous terrain. Second, since there’s no automated processing, expect to lug heavy canvas satchels over your shoulders that’ll leave you with significant long-term back and joint issues. Third, expect to deal with daily threats on foot routes such as aggressive stray dogs, territorial wildlife, and even hostile property owners. Finally, if you work on a railway or remote mail route, expect to risk severe derailments, robberies, and accidents on poorly maintained infrastructure. On the bright side, they’re not exactly picky on candidates since women and diverse mail carriers existed in the United States as far as 1845.

52. Frontier Doctor – The character of the frontier doctor is always a mainstay in a typical western town on TV shows and movies. They can even be a woman like Dr. Quinn (and that’s not just talking about the TV show). But they’re always a friendly presence and a pillar in their community who’s always willing to lend a helping hand through any means available. However, should you be a frontier physician, here’s some aspects you have to reckon with. First, self-reliance is a must since you’ll be entirely on your own, often riding or driving for miles in extreme weather at any time of day or night to reach patients. Second, you’ll be routinely forced to improvise, using whatever rudimentary instruments or household items you have on hand. Because medications and up-to-date tools are rarely available. Third, expect townspeople to view you with extreme suspicion, sometimes accusing you of performing the devil’s work when your intervention saves a life. Since 19^th century medical techniques are crude and performed without proper anesthetics, your treatment methods will almost certainly freak out many people. Fourth, you’ll have to learn a lot of new things on the job such as handling severe trauma, amputating limbs, and sometimes even double as veterinarians if no other help’s available. Lastly, know that you’ll be isolated from academic and hospital networks. So keeping up with the medical knowledge will be entirely up to you, leading to inconsistent standards and high stress levels. But on the bright side, since frontier towns are in desperate need of doctors, they accept women.

53. Vestal Virgin – One of the best known religious aspects of Ancient Rome were the Vestal Virgins who serve the goddess Vesta and keep the sacred flame alive at her temple. Yet, being a Vestal Virgin wasn’t a bed of roses. For one, most girls didn’t have a choice since they were ritually “taken” between the ages of 6-10 at the start of their 30-year term, cutting them off from family, marriage, and motherhood during their prime. They had to also be completely free of “bodily defects” (meaning physical and mental disabilities), adding immense pressure to uphold Break your 30-year vow of celibacy that you didn’t make on your own free will, then you’ll be charged with incestum and sentenced to burn alive in an underground chamber with a ration of bread and water. Should the sacred flame of Vesta accidentally go out due to an accidental lapse in attention, the Pontifex Maximus will strip you naked and whip you in the dark. Of course, while Vestal Virgins gain unique political privileges most Roman women could dream of, they also had to spend decades locked away under strict supervision. On the bright side, once your 30 years are up, you can do whatever you like. But most of the time, you’ll likely renew your vows since you’ve been doing this for so long.

54. Concubine – Although not as highly romanticized as other jobs, concubines are often seen as pretty palace women who are dressed in the finest clothes. But the reality behind the exotic costumes can be like Game of Thrones. Of course, if you find yourself a concubine, you likely didn’t choose this role. Rather you got the gig due to being kidnapped or given away by your parents. While your purpose is to win over your sovereign’s affection and produce a male heir. And your value will be based on your youth and beauty. But once inside the palace, you’d be sequestered behind high walls, forbidden from interacting with the outside world, and eunuchs constantly monitoring you. Second, since harem life is hyper-competitive, you must constantly scheme to win the your sovereign’s affection to maintain your status. Falling out of favor means demotion, banishment, or even death. If you’re in the court of Imperial China, remember that disgraced, aging, and disfavored concubines faced punishment in the “cold palace,” a secluded, damp wing of the imperial compound where their status is stripped and left to live in misery. In addition, know that you occupy a precarious position below the official wife. Also, if you live in Imperial China, know that your kids are seen as legally inferior and are forced to show subservience to the primary wife as their “legal mother.” Finally, as younger women enter the palace, the sovereign and palace physicians often neglect older concubines. So you’ll often end your days living in chronic pain and dying quiet, unnoticed deaths. Should the Chinese emperor die before you, expect to end your days in a convent unless your son ascends the throne. If you’re in the Ottoman Empire, you’ll likely have to contend with your son being strangled by a silk cord. Also, know that concubines aren’t exclusive to rulers, they can also exist in wealthy households as well. In that, your primary goal would be to give your master a male heir but many of the same rules apply at a smaller scale.

55. Ronin – The samurai equivalent of a mercenary, ronin are always roaming from town to town protecting hapless villagers against bandits. Or is that just the movie Seven Samurai? Nonetheless, if you’re a samurai who’s made it to the Edo period, this is what likely awaits you. Since the Tokugawa shogunate would abolish many of the daimyos you work under. And it’s basically a step down from privileged elite warrior to penniless, roaming outcast, stripped of everything after becoming one. Most likely it would be due to your daimyo’s death and exile. But you could also leave or be dismissed. Yet, the latter happened more often during earlier eras when Japan was tearing itself apart by constant war. So there was plenty of opportunity to find a new master. Although some could be farmers who joined wars to escape poverty but never got the title of samurai. Anyway, since you lack a lord to guarantee your honor and loyalty, you’re viewed with deep suspicion, sometimes prone to societal humiliation. In addition, you’re also under heavy legal restrictions. During certain periods, you can be banned from carrying daisho (paired swords symbolizing samurai status) and even be subjected to either forced relocation or strict surveillance. In addition, given that you’re a former warlord lackey, you can forget abiding by the bushido. Since many ronin were forced to abandon it just to pay bills. Employment opportunities include jobs like gambling parlor bouncer, mercenary, martial arts teacher in a private dojo, street performer, scholar, artist, merchant, farmer, or Buddhist monk. While others just became criminals terrorizing villages that came their way.

56. Black Jazz Musician – The early 1900s saw the rise of a new type of music originating from African American communities called jazz whose popularity exploded during the 1920s and would endure in the next few decades to come. Many became legends such as Louis Armstrong, Duke Ellington, John Coltrane, Charlie “Bird” Parker, Billie Holiday, Ella Fitzgerald, Miles Davis, and more. But black jazz musicians didn’t have it easy mainly due to them living in an era of racial segregation. For one, record companies frequently took publishing rights and royalties from these artists. While giving them only a fraction of the artists white artists made covering their work. Second, prominent touring musicians often endured segregated tours even if their name was Louis Armstrong. While on the road, they had to eat at back doors, sleep in substandard “colored only” housing, and play to strictly segregated audiences. Didn’t help that white bands capitalized on their music innovations and popularized the genre. While black jazz musicians remained relegated to a commercial underclass. Unless that black talent was of legendary status, record executives actively marketed black-produced music exclusively to black people. While marketing their white counterparts to the broader mainstream, drastically stunting the black creators’ earning potential and fame. Critics often praised European-derived and styles and white performers as “serious art.” While they typecasted black performers as playing raw, primitive dance music. By the way, the same pattern occurred in early rock music and hip hop music to a lesser extent. Sure, we remember names like Chuck Berry and Tupac, but many more know Elvis and Eminen. So if you think this systemic racism was just a thing of the past, then you’re sorely mistaken. Yet, even worse, from the late mid-to-late 20^th century, severe public education cuts disproportionately affected black neighborhoods, removing access to instruments and early music training. While jazz became an academic subject taught in conservatories, many of the genre’s oral tradition and community roots became rigid, further alienating young black musicians who shifted focus toward newer, culturally relevant genres like hip hop.

57. Lumberjack – Oh, yes, an icon of rugged masculinity, the historical lumberjack is a man of great strength and endurance who spends his days chopping those tall trees in the wilderness. Today, it’s one of the worst and most dangerous professions in North American, but it was probably much worse before the days of OSHA. Should you be an old timey lumberjack, here’s what you need to know. First, expect to face severe hazards from falling limbs, rolling logs, and unpredictable or snapping trees. That being crushed by a fallen limb or an entire tree is just a regular occurrence. Second, you’ll have to do grueling manual labor in all weather conditions, leading to high rates of overexertion and musculoskeletal injuries. Third, you’ll operate heavy, axes and two-person crosscut saws. Fourth, expect being away from your family for months and living in remote temporary camps far way from the nearest vestige of civilization. You’ll be sleeping in tightly packed, unventilated shacks on hay or straw mattresses that are often infested with lice and fleas. Since you and your fellow logger men will be sleeping side by side, you’ll have to dry your soaking wet, sweat-drenched clothes over a single wood stove, filling the room with a suffocating stench of you and your co-workers’ B.O. Doesn’t help that it’s a winter operation since snow makes it easier to slide heavy logs over iced roads to frozen rivers. So expect frostbite, deep snow, bitter temperatures, and extreme delays for emergency medical care. Fifth, then there’s the spring river drive where you’ll have to jump across freezing, rushing water on top of massive piles of wood to dislodge log jams. Fall into the icy water, then you risked being crushed by moving logs or pulled under the current. Either way, you’d be in for a bad week. Finally, middle-class society sees these transient, single, seasonal log workers like you as social pariahs and dangerous moral threats. Towns even built specific red-light districts to keeps lumberjacks segregated from the general public. Wonder if it’s because some of them wear high heels, suspenders, and a bra? But this job still pays well doesn’t it? Actually, loggers have historically low to median incomes. So, no.

58. Blacksmith – Compared to a lot of jobs, blacksmith doesn’t seem that bad. After all, it was a highly in demand profession and one where you get to make a lot of cool stuff like weapons, armor, horseshoes, and tools. However, before you strike the hammer on that anvil, here’s some things you need to know about blacksmith life since you were apprenticed from 5-8 years old and spend 7-10 years learning the trade in an agonizingly long and difficult process. While you’ll spend most of that period doing grunt work. First, expect a work environment where you’re basically in Hell with the lid off. Like constant exposure to heat, smoke, and toxic emissions causing respiratory issues, vision problems, and hearing loss. Forge temperatures could range from 1,500-2,000 º F and feature poor ventilation. Working with scrap metals can result in metal fume fever and a lifetime of inhaling toxic fumes frequently leading to incurable conditions like lead poisoning. Second, expect the work to comprise of brutal, repetitive, and heavy lifting. Blacksmiths like you often suffer from chronic ailments such as locked-up backs, trembling hands, stress injuries, broken bones, and stiff joints severely shortening your working years. That many die before reaching 50. Third, expect your workday to be incredibly busy since you’re expected to build and fix everything. So when you’re not forging plows, horseshoes, or nails, you’ll be doing odd jobs to make ends meet. But at least it pays well, doesn’t it? Actually, it will depend on location. If you live in a small rural village with a limited customer base that can’t always pay in actual currency, you might have to stick with trading for goods or services instead. In short, you’ll just have to haggle. Speaking of customers, they tend to be very notoriously unreliable. On the bright side, it’s way better than being a pirate.

59. Prohibition Agent – A man on the federal vice squad, the Prohibition Agent is the man who shuts down speakeasies, pursues gangsters, and never stops to rid the world of illegal booze. In reality, being a Prohibition Agent in the United States was a 1920s nightmare. For one, temperance was a controversial issue and most of the US public see you as a government killjoy destroying a good time. Expect hostility and speakeasy owners using low-paid cops and tipsters to thwart federal raids. Second, there are only 3,000 of you responsible for enforcing the 18^th Amendment across a vast country of millions who want to drink and thousands of bootleggers more than willing to support them. So it’s no surprise that speakeasies had doubled in number by 1929. Not to mention be less effective in cracking down on organized crime than the IRS. Third, if you want to catch anyone, you’ll have to get creative but don’t overdo it. Legendary agents like Izzy and Moe arrested thousands while wearing wild disguises. Only to be fired by their own bosses for being “too vaudevillian” and attracting too much public attention. Fourth, taking down heavily armed mobs and busting up illegal stills can easily turn into deadly shootouts. Expect to constantly watch your back as the cash involved means the syndicates have significant firepower and motives to outsmart you. But at least it pays well, right? Don’t be silly, there’s a reason why agents like you were very prone to massive cash bribes from organized crime. As 10% of you will be fired for either taking payoffs or getting involved in the bootlegging business yourselves. Probably should’ve worked for the IRS instead.

60. Gangster Moll – American pop culture depicts a gangster’s moll as a glamorous life with every luxury she could ask for. Yet, before you attach yourself to a gangster, here are the reasons why you should seriously reconsider. For one, you’ll live in a world of chronic stress, often looking over your shoulder, anticipating police raids, rival hits, or betrayal. Also, know that your gangster boyfriend will use you to transport weapons or money, which will turn you into targets for law enforcement or rival gangs. Second, like the mob wife, expect your gangster partner to prioritize his criminal family over you and leave you alone for long periods of time. Also, note that he may have a wife and kids who won’t be as disposable as you. In addition, you’ll be financially dependent on the mob as well. Third, note that the mob relationships are heavily characterized by physical violence, control, and emotional abuse. He may also have other girlfriends, too. Also, if you know too much or try to leave your gangster boyfriend, expect to risk kidnapping, being used as a bargaining chip, or even murder. So basically being a gangster moll is a lot like being a mob wife except that you’re treated more as disposable property to the gangster you’re loyal to.