The Enchanting Winter Wonderland of Ice Sculpture (Fourth Edition)

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Finally, I get to the last of my annual snow and ice posts with ice sculptures. Unlike the snow sculptures that you might see at a winter carnival, you see these frozen creations during all kinds of occasions. You see them at weddings, dinners, and other extravagant events due to their limited lifetime. Though the ice sculptures you normally see may only be carved from a single ice block. But the ones you can see at winter festivals can range from your single block ice creations to massive ice palaces. During the winter, you’ll find plenty of them on display for festivals and competitions all over the world. So for your reading pleasure, I give you another assortment of artistic ice creations. Enjoy.

  1. There are many ways to carve a drop.
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This one uses a number of ice blocks. Yet, it results in an amazing display under the lights.

2. An angel always looks graceful within the ice.

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Yet, the angel appears rather transparent. So she’s rather hard to see.

3. A princess will always join her prince.

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This is for a wedding. But notice neither wear crowns.

4. A harp plays sweet music.

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But you won’t get a sound from this one. Since it’s made from ice. Though it’s so pretty.

5. An icy nativity scene is perfect for the Christmas season.

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This one just consists of Mary and Joseph with Jesus. But you have to love the star on top.

6. Frozen butterflies look resplendent in the snow.

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Their wings may be transparent. Buy their grace and beauty are undeniable.

7. Care to sit at a fancy piano?

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This one has a rather intricate design. Even comes with its own frozen candelabra.

8. A musician can always play to the moon at night.

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This one place the flute. Yet, this ice sculpture is among the more abstract variety.

9. Nothing exudes more might than the majestic eagle.

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This eagle has a fish in its hand. So it can feed itself and its family, if it has one.

10. Bet you can’t walk in this shoe.

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Actually you can probably walk in an Adidas shoe just fine. But this one is certifiably frozen.

11. A frozen mermaid is an uncommon sight.

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Well, mermaids are often a common motif in ice sculpture. But when it comes to winter, they don’t come to mind.

12. A fox must pass its knowledge to the cub.

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I mean foxes have fluffy tails. Though I’m not sure if they swim.

13. If you like Beauty and the Beast, you might like this icy display.

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Though it’s not exactly what you’d see in the Disney movie. Then again, it may not be a perfect rendition of it.

14. Nobody could resist a frozen ducky.

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The ducky even rests on the waves. Guess this might be for a baby’s first birthday.

15. A diamond ring shimmers in the ice.

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Now this is definitely for a wedding. While it rests on a pillow that’s obviously too small.

16. 2 doves always meet at the heart.

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Yes, this is another wedding ice sculpture. But you have to love the heart on this.

17. “As shepherds watch their flocks by night…”

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This may be part of a nativity display. Yet, the shepherd holds a lamb in his arms.

18. A fish jumps out of the frozen water.

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Wonder if the fish will bite on a hook, If so, its days are over.

19. Would you like to come in?

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Sorry, but this is just an icy doorway. The kind you’d see on Elsa’s castle.

20. The cougar always crouches in the winter snow.

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Well, cougars go by a lot of different names if you know anything about sports mascots. Still, it looks amazing in ice.

21. This icy elephant is of mammoth proportions.

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Though elephant doesn’t seem like it would do well in snowy weather. Still, it’s really cool.

22. Hope you can brave yourself against the dreaded dragon.

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This one even has weapons. So you better watch out and hope you get out alive.

23. An icy goalie isn’t one to be messed with.

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The goalie even has his own net behind him. Though he’s frozen as he catches the puck.

24. A serpent dragon can wreak a fiery blaze.

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This is a Chinese style dragon. Though frozen, it’s an iconic image in Chinese lore.

25. Would you want to ride on a frozen motorcycle?

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This is from an exhibition in Hamburg, Germany. And no, you can’t ride it. Since it’s made from ice.

26. Perhaps this frozen Buddha would enlighten you.

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I’m sure this was featured at the Harbin Snow and Ice Festival in China. Though he wears a rather elaborate hat.

27. This ice sculpture appears licensed to kill.

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You can guess this was for a James Bond themed New Year’s party. So someone wanted to welcome the new year with a bang.

28. In love, 2 hearts beat as one.

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These interlocking hearts are for weddings. Yet, it sends such a touching statement, doesn’t it?

29. With his sword, the king exudes his power.

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Wonder if he’s supposed to be King Arthur or any other legendary figure. While he stands in front of an ice castle.

30. You’ll find a small table under an elaborate arch.

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Seems like something straight out of a fantasy. There are even flowers and leaves on top.

31. You’d think an ice like this was from prehistoric times.

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This is a T-Rex ice sculpture. Perfect for any party at Jurassic Park, which I wouldn’t recommend for obvious reasons.

32. Didn’t know a boat can sail in frozen waters.

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This is a lateen-rigged ship which is easier to navigate. Though this seems more like a yacht than a wooden ship.

33. A boy shares some ice cream with his dog.

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Let’s just hope that it’s not chocolate ice cream. Because chocolate is poison to dogs.

34. Harry Potter flies away from three-headed dog.

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Of course, this scene wasn’t in the first Harry Potter book. But it’s a rather iconic image.

35. At weddings, two rings interlock.

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Yes, this is another wedding ice sculpture. You can guess the one with the diamond belongs to the bride.

36. A Inuit has come across some creatures.

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Though I’d leave once I’d see a bear. And yes, it’s intended to be an Arctic scene.

37. The bear stands on an icy ledge.

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Here the grizzly tries to catch a salmon. While a bare tree stands behind.

38. The merman always tends to the fish.

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You can see he’s supposed to be under the sea. Yet, he’s frozen in ice.

39. An icy phoenix rises out of the ashes.

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And like a rose, it exists only temporary. But instead of wilting, it melts.

40. Have you heard the call of  frozen elk?

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It’s even lit in blue to show emphasis. Still, you have to love the antlers.

41. Want anything from McDonald’s?

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Seems healthier than what McDonald’s actually makes. Mostly because it’s made out of ice.

42. That’s no moon. It’s a space station.

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Best you hope this isn’t operational. But it’s capable of blowing up Alderaan.

43. A centaur joins woodland creatures for tea.

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Here he pours for the rabbit and squirrel. Though he might aim wrong.

44. All aboard on the Ice Train Express.

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This train engine chugs through the snow. While it’s lit with pink and blue from below.

45. Are you in the mood for comedy or tragedy?

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This must be massive since it takes up many ice blocks. All to salute the theater.

46. Perhaps you’d like to see Africa on ice.

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This one has ice renditions of animals from the African savannah. While you won’t find much ice in Africa.

47. Don’t be afraid to chase your dreams.

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This one has a Native American running towards a dream catcher. While an eagle stands proud on top.

48. Inside this bottle, you’ll find a huge ship.

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This looks quite clever. Though you have to wonder how they got the boat in the bottle.

49. You’d be pressed to go west.

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This won 1st prize at the St. Paul Winter Carnival. And yes, it’s a tribute to westward expansion in the United States.

50. “It is your destiny.”

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Here we have Luke Skywalker confronting Darth Vader. Though I’m not sure which Star Wars movie this is from.

51. Didn’t know they had Batman on ice.

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Well, an ice sculpture of Batman, anyway. But unlike the Dark Knight of Gotham, he will melt.

52. Queen Elsa assumes her icy glory.

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I had to include at least one ice sculpture from Frozen. Since Queen Elsa has ice powers.

53. The horse moves wood up the hill.

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This is from a winter festival in Japan. But that horse is surely sturdy.

54. This little penguin has taken to alpine skiing.

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Though I’m not sure where it could ski in the Antarctic. But it’s quite cute.

55. You’d swear this was a celebration of love.

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In a way, it kind of is. But it’s too intricate for a wedding as you can see.

56. Would you like anything from the bar?

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It’s a barrel bar on ice. And yes, it seems you can actually gets drinks from there.

57. You know this rose is under a spell.

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This is the ice rendition of the rose from Beauty and the Beast. Thankfully, the flower is fake.

58. Should he follow the eagle or the deer?

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This one seems to have a Native American on some sort of vision quest. And he’s not sure what animal he should go with.

59. Perhaps you might want to listen to some music.

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This is an ice phonograph. But don’t play any records on it since you can see it doesn’t have much inside.

60. The nutcracker always stands at attention.

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Though you’re more familiar with the ballet by this guy’s name. Yet, you can’t actually crack nuts with it since it’s made of ice.

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The Enchanting Winter Wonderland of Snow Sculpture (Fourth Edition)

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Next in my snow and ice posts this year is snow sculpture. While snowmen may technically count, it’s quite a specialized designation. Besides, the snow sculptures I usually put on are way more intricate. Nonetheless, in the winter months, some places have winter festivals where artists carve these snowy wonders. Carved from a single block of snow weighing as much as 20-30 tons, these snow creations grace these winter carnivals where they’re cold enough to stand. Some can be rather small. While some can be as tall as a building. So for your reading pleasure, I give you another assortment of enchanted winter wonders. Enjoy.

  1. It’s perfect weather for horseback riding.
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Okay, it’s not. But this guy on a horse is utterly amazing.

2. X-wing always beats TIE.

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These are craft from Star Wars. And you guess the TIE has been blasted apart.\

3. Hope you feel at home near these stately homes.

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You’d almost think it’s a whole neighborhood. And in a way, it kind of is.

4. Wonder what’s inside this ball.

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It has other balls inside. Not sure how that could be pulled off.

5. Try to marvel at 3 deer passing you by.

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Wonder if this is a scene from mythology. If so, I wouldn’t be surprise. Nonetheless, the deer look so majestic.

6. You can’t separate these 2 bears.

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Almost seems like they’re reflecting each other. Let’s hope they’re not doing anything too inappropriate here.

7. There’s always time to see the world.

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This one has a globe on a watch with wings. Not sure what it means.

8. Mounted horsemen always look dashing.

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You can see they’re mounted archers. Because bows and arrows are range weapons that can kill people at great distances.

9. The hollow sun shines between 2 trees.

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Kind of resembles vortex. While a giant bird flies from one tree to another.

10. You’ll feel sweet serenity at any Asian temple or shrine.

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You can’t go in it. But you can see it night thanks to the lights which emphasize its architectural features.

11. Moai be singing on this street.

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They’re the big statues on Easter Island. Yet, here they have the makings of a barbershop quartet.

12. What does that bird have in its beak?

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Looks like a metal button or something. Still, you have to love the detail on the bird’s beak.

13. You never know what you’ll find in the forest at night.

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This more stylized than the other sculptures so far. Yet, the woman sits on the moon while the wind blows through her hair.

14. The tree branches were all bare.

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This is from Lithuania. Yet, all the branches seem to fit together.

15. Who’s burning in the snowy fire?

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Because it surely seems like a few people are. For I can see their faces.

16. Ever see a dolphin on the snow?

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Indeed, dolphins are marine mammals. But it’s nonetheless cute.

17. Anyone would love this snow sculpture of Charlie Brown.

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Unlike some of the other sculptures, this Charlie Brown is spray painted. Perfect for the holidays.

18. Winter wildlife is always amazing to look at.

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This one consists of an elk and a baby. But you got to love those antlers.

19. Best you stay away from the traffic light.

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He just had to lick the pole didn’t he. Meanwhile his dog is trying to get him away.

20. Here we find a dog and her pups.

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This one has the dog strung out on the log. While her pups are underneath.

21. Snoopy passes the puck.

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Yet, Snoopy doesn’t seem too enthusiastic about the game. While Woodstock drives a Zamboni.

22. There’s always time for fun in the winter.

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Someone is even doing a one hand stand. While their friend holds them for support.

23. Make way for the train.

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You can see it loading right now. Though you wouldn’t want to come aboard.

24. Is that an octopus in the snow?

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Yes, it’s a snow octopus. But you won’t find it underwater.

25. The snow whales are quite majestic, aren’t they?

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There’s even a seal at the front. But these whales glide over the coral wreath.

26. The yeti must be rising.

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Though I’m sure one wouldn’t be that big. If it existed in the Himalayas.

27. This giant fish has a wide mouth.

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Yet, I’m not sure if its features are in proportion. Yet, the detail is amazing.

28. These dolphins always swim together.

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Actually they seem to dive into the waves. Still, you can’t help but admire it.

29. A child always rises on the parents’ shoulders.

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I think this might be a Chinese farming family. You can even see the animals behind the people.

30. Are those fingers or trees?

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Guess it must be one of those abstract pieces. Nonetheless, it looks quite strange.

31. Here we come to a prehistoric struggle.

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You’d think it’s a scene straight out of Jurassic Park. Now in the likeness of snow.

32. Beware of the faceless figures.

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That has to be kind freaky. Wonder if they’re Dementors or wraiths.

33. This bear hugs a wooden pole.

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I know it’s white like a polar bear. But its features resemble a grizzly.

34. An intimidating bear stands on the large rock.

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Seems like it’s meant to denote a 40th anniversary. Not sure for what.

35. A lizard rides the waves.

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Sure it’s not quite wintry. But nonetheless, it’s rather charming and awe inspiring.

36. You’d swear you’d find hoplite snowmen in this horse.

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Since it’s a snowy Trojan Horse. So beware of Greeks bearing gifts.

37. Never thought I’d see elephants in the snow.

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This is an elephant mother and baby. They’re African. But they’re adorable.

38. Care to come in?

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Seems to resemble a hobbit hole from the Shire. But it could just as easily be a very cozy igloo.

39. The Arctic tundra can be a treacherous place.

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This one has Inuit rescuing their companions on the ice. While the ice has broken.

40. That’s an interesting way to arrange books.

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These books are squished together on a shelf. I know it kind of resembles an accordion. But it’s not.

41. Don’t want to step on this Lego brick.

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Though I’m not sure how it’s possible. Because the brick is undeniably massively.

42. Perhaps you might want to help one of these topless women.

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Yet, you have to wonder why they’re not wearing coats. Also, two have bowls on their heads and they aren’t using their hands to support them.

43. The boat is just right outside.

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The house is in an Asian style. While the boat may be used for fishing. So pretty.

44. The Calaca stands out in the winter snow.

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This is a skull you see around Dia de los Muertos. Sure it’s not the time for it. But it works.

45. A small child plays with his little toy.

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Though the kid looks incredibly large. While the toy resembles a boat on wheels.

46. Nothing beats playing under the flowers.

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The flowers appear quite large. While the kids and animals look rather small.

47. Satan rises from his fiery lair in Hell.

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You can see the skull and flames. While the Devil has horns on his head. Then again, this might be from a different mythology since it’s in China.

48. A majestic owl dominates the night.

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Yet, you find a family of bears and other creatures underneath the owl’s wings. Wonder if this is a tribute to North American wildlife. But I could be wrong.

49. You’ll find a Viking ship on the north seas.

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Though I wouldn’t want to be on the long boat. No wonder they raid villages once they land.

50. Wonder where those snow horses came from.

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These horses appeared to jump from the wall. Hope they don’t cause too much damage.

51. Are you in the mood for a frozen treat?

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Since it resembles a rather tasty ice cream dessert on top. Though the bottom doesn’t look like a cone or bowl.

52. Kids always look forward to the festivities.

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I guess this is for Chinese New Year. For I see a large Chinese lantern in the background.

53. A warrior woman always looks badass from a tree.

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Kind of reminds me of an Amazon. Though she could certainly put a shirt on. Since it’s cold outside.

54. An eagle warrior captivates at the campfire.

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Then again, that looks more like a bird. Wonder if this is from Native American mythology.

55. A burning torch lights up the world.

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You can see it’s held by 2 hands. Though the flame will melt if near a real fire.

56. An eagle flies triumphant into a ring.

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You have to admire its spectacular wings. while its talons perch onto the ring and into the snow.

57. A cowboy naps against a cactus.

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I know this is a desert scene where you don’t see any snow. But it’s quite spectacular for a winter carnival.

58. Feel free to make yourself at this hobbit home.

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Well, it’s not as cozy as the real thing. But it’s close enough.

59. These polar bears are just taking it easy.

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Despite that climate changes threatens their very existence. While a penguin serves them. Wait a minute, polar bears and penguins don’t live in the same area.

60. Now here’s a nativity scene you can get inside.

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Well, I see the wise men and the animals. So I guess the stable is quite crowded for Christmas.

Frosty the Snowman and All His Friends (Fourth Edition)

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Now that I have my Christmas posts out of the way, I get into the snow and ice posts. Mostly since they don’t have to apply to Christmas specifically but winter in general. Though the pictures for these posts are usually in my Christmas folder in my pic files. Anyway, despite that today is the first day of winter, there’s not a lot of snow outside my window. Rain, yes. But not snow. Though if it gets cold enough the water on the ground will turn to ice and make driving quite dangerous. Anyway, if the snow has been around for awhile, kids and many adults might want to build snowmen. The standard version usually has 3 snowballs of various sides put together with stick arms, coal buttons and eyes, and a button or carrot nose. While the figure may wear a scarf and hat. So for your reading pleasure, I give you another assortment of unique snowmen to lighten your cold winter day.

  1. So what if you can’t watch TV outside?
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Here he is watching from his deck. I’m sure the TV is a piece of junk since we know what precipitation can have on electronics.

2. Quick, there’s a snowman with a gun! Run for your life!

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And the snowman has had a few rounds fired into him. While he’s holding a beer. Guess he’s been drunk.

3. “I now pronounce you snowman and wife.”

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I mean they’re a snowman wedding couple. Bride even has a veil and towel on her head.

4. This snowman hails straight from Appalachia.

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Appalachia is supposed to be a college by the way. Though you have to love that hat.

5. Guess we have a hit and run on Oak Street.

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This is supposed to be a snowman run over by a car. And yes, he’s decapitated in front of a parent and child.

6. What the hell is he eating?

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I think he’s devouring a raccoon. And yes, it’s utterly disgusting.

7. You’d swear their eyes glow in the snow.

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Not sure what they use in those yes. But the effect is quite eerie.

8. Never thought I’d see a snow camel before.

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Because camels are desert animals. Yet, the camel dons a scarf around its neck.

9. Seems like we got quite a crowd.

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Some even wear pails as hats. Others use branches from evergreen trees for hair.

10. Apparently, it’s supposed to rain today.

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Though I wouldn’t be in the middle of the street if I were him. Though he always comes prepared.

11. This guy seems unusually fruity.

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Since they use fruit for the facial features. Still, the tie is quite tacky.

12. The roads can use a good sweeping.

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Here’s a mother and daughter with leaves in their hair. The mom carries a broom.

13. This babushka wishes you stay awhile.

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She’s wearing a fancy skirt and carries a broom in hand. But please don’t mess with her.

14. Perhaps you’d like to wish this Indian snow bride well on her wedding day.

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Since Indian women usually wear red when they get married. Though she doesn’t even have henna on her hands.

15. Look out! It’s the big bad wolf!

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He’s killed a couple of snowmen already Get inside before he gets you.

16. These snowmen have come out to protest.

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They’re calling for the troops in Iraq to come home. So it’s from about a decade ago.

17. Didn’t know you could build a snowman on the beach.

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Actually he’s more of a sandman than a snowman. Because there’s no snow where he’s at.

18. He’s just relaxing during a lazy Sunday afternoon.

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He’s got his drink and lying on his lawn chair. So don’t mind him.

19. Is that a pole sticking from his chest?

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It’s kind of gruesome snowman picture. Like he had something stabbed through his chest.

20. There are a couple of Arabs in the truck bed.

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The snowman is a sheik. While you can barely see his wife’s face due to her veil.

21. She’s just in town on a shopping trip.

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She has grass on her head near her beret. Though her shopping bag is quite small.

22. You’d think this snowy fox is off the wagon.

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Since the fox is carrying a bottle of booze. So it’s best you stay away from him.

23. There’s a polar bear in the tree.

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This seems to more likely resemble a clump of snow with eyes and nose. But it’s quite adorable.

24. Want to see a couple of handstands.

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You can see the snow kids standing upside down with their boots in the air. While the snow dad looks on.

25. There’s been a murder. Death by snow shovel.

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There’s even a chalk outline of a snowman on the ground. While the snow cop has a snow star badge.

26. Want to sit near this huge teddy bear?

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Yes, this is a giant snow bear. Though I think it should have a thicker scarf.

27. “Hey, why did you go through Charlie?”

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Well, the kid was sledding. Still, it’s quite a gruesome scene for winter.

28. Would you stop by to see this bear?

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It has a present in its arms and a bucket to put money in. Still, it’s quite cute.

29. Seems like this guy has his nose in something.

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He seems like he’s lounging around with a drink. Still, his fedora is incredibly tacky.

30. This snow woman is looking forward to spring.

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Yet, she should want winter to last as long as possible. Mostly because when spring comes, she’s gone.

31. You need not disturb a snow lady in the shower.

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Her arms consist of a shower head and bathing brush. Also, is the snow below supposed to be bubbles?

32. You’d swear it’s getting hot for these 2.

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Since the snow woman is wearing a bikini. While the snowman lies around to gaze at her figure.

33. Could you spare some change for a poor snowman?

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He even has a cup out for the money. Every little bit helps.

34. Anyone would want to pet this snow cat.

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This one Seems quite simple. But the cat has dark, soulless eyes.

35. Jesus, that snowman eats people!

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I’m sure that’s actually a dummy. But certainly looks scary from this angle.

36. Bet you’ve never seen a snow panda before.

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This is from Japan after a snowfall, by the way. Nonetheless, it’s quite adorable.

37. You’d swear this snow lady was a work of art.

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She’s supposed to be a mermaid. Like the Copenhagen mermaid statue in Denmark.

38. This snowman always enjoys a day in the park.

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Here the snowman goes down on the slide. Wheee!

39. This snowman thinks it’s snowed too soon.

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Yes, that snowman isn’t quite happy. Neither is that kid beside him.

40. Oh my God, it’s Harry Potter!

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Indeed, he’s the Snowboy who lived. While his wand is just a regular stick.

41. This fellow prefers to ride on the roof.

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Since this snowman was made on the roof of this car. Not sure if it’ll survive the trip though.

42. BB8 is at your service.

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He’s that cute little droid from the new Star Wars series. And since he’s round, he makes a rather cute snowman.

43. This snow person dreams of Hawaiian sun.

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This one even has coconut shells, leis, and a hula skirt. Too bad Hawaii doesn’t have good weather for snow.

44. Seems like this snow caterpillar is worming its way through.

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Took a lot of snowballs to make this one. While it’s spray painted green with glowing antennas.

45. Someone is in a melting mood today.

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This one even has an umbrella in the snow. But it will soon melt someday.

46. This rustic couple always stays together.

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They’re wearing straw hats and old clothes. But while he has a stick she has an umbrella.

47. This snowman has his own digs.

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Well, he has a rather simple home. Though the price looks quite steep.

48. Perhaps it’s best to sit down for awhile.

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This snowman sits on the bench. Too bad he can’t smell the flowers. Since it’s winter.

49. This little dog loves to play in the snow.

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Okay, the little dog is made out of snow. But it should delight anyone on a cold wintry day.

50. “You seek Snoda.”

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Skilled with fighting stick, he is. But do or do not. There is no try.

51. This snowman acts as if he’s at the beach.

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Here he’s lounging on his lawn chair. Like the bucket and shovel.

52. “Oppa Snowman Style.”

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It’s from that “Gangnam Style” video. And yes, the guy’s dressed up like the snowman next to him.

53. This snow person is totally lovestruck.

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Guess this is for Valentine’s Day. Now that’s a long way away.

54. This snowman would like to make a collect call.

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Still, nobody uses phone booths anymore. Since we all use smart phones that we keep in our pockets or bags.

55. Want to go bowling?

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Though these snowmen use their heads as the ball. Kind of freaky if you ask me.

56. Snowmen have to wait in line just like the rest of us.

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Here he is sitting on the bench reading the paper. Just like a normal guy on his way to the office.

57. “Repent! Spring is Nigh!”

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This one makes fun of religious fanatics obsessed with the coming apocalypse. But for snowfolk, spring is very much the end.

58. You’d be blessed to have this snow couple around.

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I think the snowman is supposed to be an Orthodox priest. And yes, they can get married, by the way.

59. Bet you’ve never seen a snow tiger before.

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It’s even taller than the snowman. While it’s covered in spray paint.

60. Some guys will gawk at this snow woman.

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Since she’s supposed to be a bombshell bathing beauty. Guaranteed to stop traffic.

 

Merry Christmas from Our Family to Yours on Christmas Memories (Fifth Edition)

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During my first year in college, my mom took pictures of me and my sister outside to pose in photos with the dog, Diamond. My mom would later use one of the black and white pictures for our Christmas card that year.

For many, there’s no place like home during the holiday season. Since how else will you get those presents? Okay, I’m kidding. Still, Christmas is a time we spend with our families or our in-laws if you’re my dad. Seriously, my parents never had any debate on whose relatives to visit during the holidays since it was always my mom’s relatives. Because most of my dad’s relatives were either dead or lived far away along with being distantly related. Besides, when my Grandma C was alive, we’d take her with us. Anyway, when it comes to the holidays, we expect to have rosy memories with nice little photos to go with them. But human nature being what it is, things don’t always go that way. After all, I’ve managed to do 4 of these posts thanks to Awkward Family Photos. Anyway, for your reading pleasure, I give you another assortment of crazy Christmas memories thanks to Awkward Family Photos. Enjoy.

  1. You can’t have a Christmas portrait without including the family dog.
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Though I don’t know about this arrangement. Seriously, the guy’s disembodied head is just weird.

2. It always helps to pose wearing your ugly sweater.

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Though they don’t seem to smile in the foreground. In fact, their faces in the background seems to represent happier times.

3. Don’t forget to pose with the lapdogs.

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You can see that these people are stinking rich as hell. And I’m sure they don’t look after the dogs themselves. Talk about excess.

4. There are some ugly sweaters more embarrassing than others.

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The guy just feels like, “Holy shit, my whole family’s going to see me in this in our Christmas card. God, I hope our kids don’t see this someday.”

5. Apparently, this fly on the wall has a camera.

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You can see that nobody wants to pose for the photo here. Cue the guy whose head you can’t see.

6. There’s always someone in the family who doesn’t smile.

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Apparently, they didn’t have photoshop back then. So a cutout of Dad’s smile was included.

7. “At least I didn’t get that ugly cat sweater.”

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Indeed, the cat shirts are ugly. But the dark haired girl is greatly embarrassed.

8. These kids celebrate Christmas on the streets.

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This family did a Jersey Shore themed Christmas card portrait with their kids. Don’t ask.

9. And that’s one on the nose.

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Well, the kid received a new pair of boxing gloves. So what do you expect?

10. Always mind the shadows.

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The woman on the left seems like she’s evil incarnate and about to chase children with an axe. The other two may just be her minions.

11. The first Christmas since the lobotomy is always the hardest.

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Okay, I know this is kind of mean. But I have to admit that the boy looks like a zombie for some reason.

12. I think Dad might want to avoid the local bar scene for awhile.

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I mean the guy has 2 black eyes, I had to invent something. Still, the baby’s angry look is utterly priceless.

13. You’re never too old to see Santa Claus.

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Actually, you can as you see with these middle-aged women. Whereas, Santa is like, “This doesn’t seem part of my job description.”

14. Since ugly sweaters have become popular, many take selfies wearing them.

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Those are supposed to be 3 deer humping. Also, how old is this guy? Cause he looks like a teenager.

15. “Did I just throw something?”

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It’s definitely the kid on the left. Also, what kind of parent makes their kids pose with a utility heater? Seriously, what the hell?

16. Apparently, the visit to Santa didn’t go as expected.

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The kid looks pretty glum since he probably didn’t want to be there. While the Santa looks pretty shady, especially with those glasses.

17. “Look out, frisbee!”

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Yet, the family seems quite oblivious to the situation with the dad kind of falling asleep. Not something you’d want in a Christmas card.

18. “Goalie gloves? Oh, you shouldn’t have.”

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I think the gloves were a joke gift. In any case, she didn’t find it funny.

19. Don’t be afraid to get your feet in the water.

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I know this is for a Christmas card. Yet, the kids just want to be as far from the parents as possible.

20. The family that dresses together stays together.

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But white turtlenecks? Seriously, that’s kind of tacky.

21. That present seems oddly strategically placed.

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That present is just as big as the kid. Wonder what’s in it that makes one want to open it.

22. “Mom likes you best.”

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The little boy just can’t seem to smile for the camera. Though he enviously looks at his brother who his parents see as practically perfect in every way.

23. “Quick get in the photo!”

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Apparently, she didn’t get in the picture in time. While a guy just looks into his phone. Seriously, they could’ve just took a selfie or get Jessie’s boyfriend to take the picture.

24. “Smile for the camera, kiddos.”

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From Awkward Family Photos: “My sister and I thought it might be a good idea to have our kids’ photos taken as a Christmas present for my mom. With two hungry, tired newborn babies and a bored 3 year old, it was quite possibly the worst day of our lives. This was the best pic we could get of all three of them.”

25. When Santa freaks the baby out so much he pees his pants.

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From Awkward Family Photos: “My youngest son peed all over Santa at the moment this picture was being taken, and Santa had some ‘choice words’ at that moment too. Meanwhile, my oldest son doesn’t know where a wristwatch goes.”

26. Timmy seems very proud of his ugly Christmas sweater this year.

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So they have sweater like that in child size? Seriously, the boy’s grandma will not be amused. His grandpa on the other hand…

27. The holidays are a time to be merry.

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Yet, this family seems quite depressed for some reason. Guess you can’t have a merry Christmas every year.

28. When your Christmas card picture goes totally wrong.

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Seems like everyone is doing their own thing in this picture. Then again, it’s quite difficult to get children to sit still.

29. No child is ever too young for parents to embarrass.

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Doesn’t help that the dad has no idea how to pose at the fireplace. While the girl doesn’t seem to be having it.

30. When you and your relatives get the same sports bra for Christmas.

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Well, this is certainly awkward. Also, who the hell thinks a bra as a Christmas present is a good idea?

31. Perhaps the jammie pose wasn’t a good idea.

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Most of the time, the dad wears long johns. Yet, he shouldn’t have put his hand between his legs.

32. Talk about falling flat on your face.

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Yet, her sister smiles and holds her giant ornament for the camera. Acting as if nothing had happened.

33. “A Rough Rider BB Gun? Just what I always wanted.”

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This is from A Christmas Story. And yes, Mom and Randy are worried about Ralphie shooting his eye out.

34. When the cork pops at the exact wrong moment.

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Yes, that hit him right in the eye. Hope he can explain his shiner on New Years.

35. There’s a reason why men shouldn’t do Christmas cards.

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From Awkward Family Photos: “My wife left the Christmas cards to me. She designed the front, but didn’t know about the back until all 50+ cards were shipped.”

36. There’s no better Christmas party than a solo party.

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Yes, she photoshopped pictures of herself into one room. Kind of pathetic, actually.

37. Christmas is always the happiest time of year.

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Wonder if this couple is spending their last Christmas together. Since the woman holding the doll doesn’t seem too pleased in this picture.

38. This year’s Christmas card theme: The Grinch.

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Though I’m not sure if the dad makes a convincing Grinch. Like the hairdos.

39. When your parents want you to settle down.

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Yeah, you can guess she has no man and no job. Of course, my parents will probably give me books like this sometime soon.

40. “But, Grandma, I don’t want to play Little Red Riding Hood.”

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Wait until you see her brother dressed as the wolf. Seriously, you don’t want to venture into a dark forest in that.

41. Now that doesn’t seem like responsible parenting.

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From Awkward Family Photos: “This is a photo of my brother’s family. We were trying to get a nice Christmas card photo, and my brother was getting rid of his beer so it wouldn’t be in the picture. He wasn’t fast enough.”

42. “Didn’t they ask you not to wear your Hulk shirt?”

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That doesn’t seem appropriate for a family Christmas photo. But Uncle Larry owns a comic book store and doesn’t seem to care.

43. Wonder what Justin Timberlake got in his Christmas present.

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This was back when he was in ‘NSYNC. Now he just looks ridiculous. While his present seems to resemble box of wine.

44. When your family makes an ornament of you suffering in the snow.

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That’s not something you put in a Christmas ornament. Wonder how that girl’s putting up with that.

45. When your Christmas photo gets a rude surprise.

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From Awkward Family Photos: “We took the kids to take pictures with Santa. Needless to say we were shocked as we scrolled through the photos and saw our daughter’s middle finger up with her head turned and smiling.”

46. Hope you had a better Christmas than this family.

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Yes, this is another Christmas Story card shot. One of the kids wears a pink bunny outfit.

47. Apparently, someone looked into Hannibal Lecter’s fridge.

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Don’t worry, those aren’t human remains. They’re just reserved for humans.

48. Unfortunately, Susie’s visit with Santa did not go well.

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While little Petey has peed his pants. Indeed, it’s not unusual for kids to be afraid of Santa.

49. “Now, Dylan, we don’t clutch our crotches in the picture.”

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From Awkward Family Photos: “Siblings Xmas photo circa 1980. I’m the one grabbing my crotch. This is the picture my parents chose to display.”

50. Sometimes it’s best to keep the dogs as far apart as possible.

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Since they’re basically humping in front of everyone to their dismay. Because dogs don’t care about privacy and photo ops.

51. Keep in mind when making signs that spacing is important.

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Because you get signs like this. By the way, that’s supposed to be “wise men” not “semen.”

52. Someone is scared of the Krampus.

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From Awkward Family Photos: “This year a local costume shop was offering Krampus photos if you bring your own camera. Not much advertising, so no line when we arrived, just a guy in a suit and this lovely setup. My son is 5 and decided he wasn’t into taking a photo — no surprise — so he just look bummed out the whole time. Works for me.”

53. They seem to start so young, do they?

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Sophie may only be a few months old. But she already knows some ways of expressing herself, particularly in her disgust.

54. Rosie always comes prepared on Christmas.

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Since she’s hung an abnormally large Christmas stocking. Since she wants a lot of stuff this year.

55. Apparently, someone isn’t shy about where those presents really come from.

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So someone got the presents from Target. Though that’s not what you’re supposed to write on a present.

56. It’s going to be a dark Christmas indeed.

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From Awkward Family Photos: “Merry Christmas from your friendly, neighborhood mall goths. 2005.”

57. “No, I don’t want to sit on your lap, Santa.”

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From Awkward Family Photos: “We took my daughter to get her yearly photo with Santa and when Santa asked what she’d like for Christmas she said a ‘pink’ doll. He couldn’t hear her color choice and she then very politely stuck her middle finger up and shouted ‘pink, like this!’ She had on pink fingernail polish at the time.”

58. Christmas always brings in warm smiles.

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Indeed, only one of the girls is smiling for the photo. The others, not so much.

59. Hope you have a Grinch-free holidays.

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This is another Grinch Christmas card. Notice how they didn’t quite remove the makeup in the other picture.

60. When your nose runs, it just won’t stop.

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Someone give Jimmy a Kleenex. Cause that’s just plain gross.

61. Always make a holiday entrance in lights.

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From Awkward Family Photos: “A couple of years ago my daughter had surgery on both of her legs over Christmas break. Tired of being cooped up in the house she decided last minute she wanted to go to a Christmas party with her church youth group. We scrambled for ideas for the costume competition and settled on her being a ballerina from The Nutcracker (her sister went as a nutcracker). This was taken midway through the party when I’m pretty sure she was exhausted and maybe the pain meds started wearing off. Either way, her friends decided to make her a bit more festive and this is the end result.”

62. There are Thank You notes and there’s this.

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From Awkward Family Photos: “My husband’s uncle didn’t like one of the gifts we got him for Christmas so he sent it back to us with this letter. I don’t think we’ll get him anything at all next year.”

63. Uh, those aren’t exactly Christmas socks.

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More like 420 socks. If you don’t know what that is, Google it and be astonished by the term.

64. “Dad, for God’s sake, get a shirt on.”

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From Awkward Family Photos: “Before our son left for the Navy we decided to take one last family vacation. Hawaii seemed perfect, however our 13-year-old daughter was less than pleased the entire trip and refused to wear shorts or anything else weather appropriate. My husband insisted on a family photo and this was the best we could do.”

65. Why not celebrate all the holidays on Christmas?

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From Awkward Family Photos: “For our annual Christmas card one year, my dad decided it would be a good idea to showcase ALL of the holidays. Sancho the dog is Arbor Day.”

66. Husbands, whatever you do don’t give your wife a vacuum for Christmas.

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Because it’s guaranteed that she won’t like it. Seriously, just don’t.

67. “Here, take your screaming kid off from me.”

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From Awkward Family Photos: “This is me with Santa in 1975. I can’t tell who is more unhappy, me or him.”

68. “Please don’t put me on his lap!”

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From Awkward Family Photos: “My 4 year old son Jack had been asking to meet Santa. However, when we got to the mall he confessed he was nervous. When it was our turn he really didn’t want to at all, if you can’t tell.”

69. Amy knows a bad Santa when she sees one.

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From Awkward Family Photos: “We dug this gem up recently. None of us realized how creepy the Santa was except our baby sister. We still aren’t sure where the camera actually was.”

70. “Sorry, Al, but nobody’s going along with it.”

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From Awkward Family Photos: Ant Man “This portrait was taken at my family’s 2010 Christmas celebration, when we gathered from all over the USA. The guy in the ant costume is my husband. Respecting the industriousness and work ethic of the European Wood Ant, he believes everyone should emulate ants for the forthcoming year. He is the only person I know who celebrates this way.”

Rockin’ Around the Christmas Tree at the Ugly Sweater Party (Fifth Edition)

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Though I usually put a picture of myself in these ugly Christmas sweater posts, this year I’m opening with a generic picture. Mostly because I don’t have that many ugly sweaters in my closet. Nonetheless, you can see how ugly Christmas sweaters have risen from yuletide embarrassment to holiday party staple. In fact, there’s even a recent trend where companies have made these ugly Christmas sweaters on purpose as you can see above. Hell, we even have ugly Christmas sweater parties. So for your reading pleasure, I give you another treasure trove of ghastly holiday sweaters. Some of these may not be safe for work, by the way.

  1. Fans of Elf would love this Christmas sweater.
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Buddy the Elf said this line. Since he grew up in the North Pole as an elf.

2. A candy cane striped sweater should always have a tinsel wreath.

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Well, it’s green tinsel. Though I have to wonder whether it lights up.

3. Oh, deer.

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Indeed, these are 2 deer humping over the holidays. Wonder how they managed to withhold their sex drives during hunting season.

4. Fans of A Christmas Story will adore this holiday sweater.

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It’s the infamous leg lamp. Indeed, before that film’s release, it was basically something you’d find in a bar. Not anymore.

5. Perhaps you’d like a teddy bear on your Christmas sweater.

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This one has golden tinsel on the sleeves as well as presents and snowflakes. The bear wears a plaid onesie, too.

6. Best to get out the Christmas craft supplies.

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Yes, there’s am ugly Christmas sweater with craft stuff. Makes you wonder how the final product will turn out.

7. Ever heard of a Christmas llama with sunglasses?

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Here it wears a white and green scarf. And is that holly or mistletoe?

8. No Christmas sweater can have too many pointsettias.

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His sweater even depicts a bouquet. And I can’t tell whether he’s proud of it or utterly embarrassed.

9. Oh, no, it’s the Abominable Snowman!

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This guy has a sweater depicting those old Christmas specials from the 1960s. As the Bumble dons a Santa hat.

10. Take Christmas to the next level in an ugly Christmas suit.

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This one has pictures of Christmas icons. Even comes with a matching tie.

11. Christmas is always the season for sloth.

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This hoodie has a sloth on it. Donned in a Santa hat, it has a present for you.

12. You’ll run a gamut of emojis during the Christmas season.

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This one has faces in Santa hats with a variety of expressions. Some even have their tongues sticking out.

13. Nothing makes Christmas like a T-Rex.

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Though the dinosaurs died out long before Jesus was born. Includes rows of lights, candy canes, trees, and snowflakes.

14. On Christmas, Jesus is always the life of the party.

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Since Jesus is the birthday boy. Also, he wears a party hat, too.

15. Would you like a shot or a beer with Santa?

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Looks like Santa Claus may have a drinking problem. Hope he doesn’t get busted for flying his sleigh under the influence.

16. “Grandma got run over by a reindeer…”

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But this time the reindeer’s driving a car with a Christmas tree on top. Still, that’s pretty brutal.

17. Ever seen a mermaid Santa before?

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Yet, Santa seems to wear a seashell bra on his man boobs. Not that there’s anything wrong with that, it’s pretty unsettling.

18. Feel free to wear what you want on your Christmas dress.

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Her dress is even trimmed iwth white boa feathers. While she even wears an animal print Santa hat.

19. Oh, look a talking Christmas tree.

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Says, “I don’t want your balls on me!!” I’m sure anyone over a certain age will get this one.

20. Santa always loves to show off his stuff.

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Apparently, the North Pole has fallen on tough times lately that Santa had to get a second gig. But at least he’s fully clothed.

21. Santa has a big package for you.

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If it’s Santa’s junk, then I don’t want it. Besides, doesn’t he have a Mrs. Claus to come home to?

22. This year, Christmas is out of this world.

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Since this Christmas sweater depicts an alien in a Santa hat. Makes me wonder how aliens could celebrate Christmas though.

23. Make this Christmas a Hamilton Christmas.

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I’m sure they made this because of the musical. Because Hamilton doesn’t have much to do with Christmas besides being on the $10 bill.

24. Never thought I’d see a Christmas squatch in a bikini.

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Then again, I’m sure that female sasquatches are possible. That is if sasquatches really exist.

25. Nothing makes the holidays like a sweater with dinosaurs.

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The dinosaurs are green wearing Santa hats. Some on their tails.

26. When it comes to Christmas trees, some wear it for the party.

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This woman wears a Christmas tree sweater with lights. While her Christmas tree hat is made of tinsel.

27. A Christmas sweater can never have too many trimmings.

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This one has golden tinsel and fake holly and poinsettias. Perfect for any tacky sweater party.

28. A Christmas cat always goes for the mice.

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Here the cat hangs on a tinsel wreath. While catnip hangs overhead.

29. Perhaps you might prefer a skirt of bows.

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This one is covered in gift bows. While the upper hem is edged with golden tinsel.

30. Want a game of Christmas pong?

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Well, it’s like beer pong. Except all the cups are on the guy’s Christmas sweater.

31. Nobody can wait to meet Santa.

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This one has Santa visiting the kids. And they’re all crying for presents.

32. You can always be a hit at Christmas with a hunting vest.

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This one has a large jingle bell and Rudolph in a stocking. While the vest is edged with garland.

33. Apparently, the Grinch can be quite handsy.

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Well, the hands are made from fuzzy feathers. So is the trim as you can see.

34. A Christmas tree always needs a star.

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Since she’s wearing a Christmas tree dress. While her star is in a headband.

35. Move over, Jon Snow, for Santa Claus is King of the North.

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Here he sits on his candy cane throne. Yet, the Whitewalkers have nothing on him.

36. Can Santa pass the eggnog to Jesus?

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But Santa is a selfish asshole. So Jesus isn’t exactly pleased for making a sign for Peace on Earth.

37. “Don’t eat me!”

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But Santa doesn’t really seem to care. While his friends abandon him.

38. Didn’t know you could wear a gingerbread house.

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Well, she’s wearing a gingerbread house dress. While the sides reveal a brick wall.

39. A Santa dress doesn’t always need sleeves.

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Here she wears gold bows and a belt. Though she wouldn’t last in the winter cold if she didn’t wear a coat.

40. Santa comes through the mountains on his light-up T-Rex.

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I know this is crazy. But if you like Christmas and Jurassic Park, this sweater is for you.

41. Bet you didn’t hear about the Christmas walrus.

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Well, walruses do live near the North pole. Though this one has a Santa hat and looks quite confused.

42. Talk about taking “ho, ho, ho” to a whole new level.

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Mainly since this sweater depicts a stripper. Not necessarily one you’d want to wear around your folks.

43. Merry Christmas from the laser breathing T-Rex.

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For the T-Rex should get all the presents. I know this one is pretty crazy in any case.

44. Nobody can resist a Christmas suit with puppies.

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This one has puppies in each red and green square. So he’ll get plenty of chicks at the party. Or so he thinks.

45. A poinsettia suit will really stand out.

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Here he holds a hobby horse for good measure. Though I think the suit makes him too bright for Hawaii.

46. She thinks she’s Santa’s favorite Ho.

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I don’t think that’s a good thing to be. Then again, it’s not meant to be serious.

47. A Christmas suit should always have ornaments and lights.

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After all, this is a Christmas tree camo suit. Though I’m not sure if he blends in.

48. A gingerbread man is ready to be baked.

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Yet, this is a Christmas sweater for potheads. Just look at the pot leaves to see.

49. Don’t forget to sleep in these yuletide boxers.

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This one has a tie somehow. While Santas are on the side. Not sure what to think of this.

50. Frosty the Snowman smokes a gangsta pipe.

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I think that’s supposed to be Snoop Dogg wearing this. Also, Frosty’s wearing a gold chain.

51. Zombies are no match for Santa Claus.

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Here you see Santa with an assault weapon in the woods. And yes, he’s a zombie sleighter. Get it?

52. Even reindeer can drink too much at a party.

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Apparently, this reindeer’s going to hurl. Didn’t know they party hard like that at the North Pole.

53. Now you can ride on Santa’s sleigh.

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This one has a reindeer body that you put your head in the hoody. Wonder if it has antlers on the hood.

54. Nothing makes Christmas like a cat on a slice of pizza.

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The pizza slices even travel through space. While one is decorated with ornaments.

55. A reindeer head should always have a wreath.

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This guy seems quite proud of himself. Includes baubles on the wreath. While the reindeer is plush.

56. “You’ll shoot your eye out, kid.”

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This is from A Christmas Story since Ralphie wants a BB gun. More of a jersey, but it counts.

57. Hope you have a merry Griswold Christmas.

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On the other hand, you might want to stay the hell away from the Griswolds during the holidays. Seriously, look what happened to their neighbors.

58. “I’m dreaming of a White Christmas…”

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Well, Betty White Christmas anyway. Other than one with snow, it’s the best kind of Christmas.

59. Even Santa Claus needs to take an occasional pit stop.

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Here Santa goes to the bathroom on the chimney. Either the kids have really been bad or the parent works for the Trump administration.

60. Megan Trainor always looks forward to your presents.

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Since there are presents on her Christmas dress. While her skirt is covered in holly and ornaments.

SantaCon Costumes Are Coming to Town (Fourth Edition)

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One controversial aspect of the Christmas season in the United States is SantaCon. In mid-December, revelers don yuletide costumes and gather in many cities in an annual pub crawl. The New York SantaCon has been termed, “a drunken shitshow” by Gothamist as well as received complaints by residents along with reports of public vomiting and urination. And it goes without saying that seeing a drunken Santa peeing on the street, puking in a nearby trash can, or doing a bunch of R-rated mischief to get in police custody might traumatize a young child for life. Nonetheless, we should concede that despite the havoc SantaCon may wreak in communities, there could be worse things. Just look at what happened in Charlottesville, Virginia back in August 2017. I mean while SantaCon participants might litter, vandalize, puke, and do what have you, they just want to party and have fun. Though their way of enjoyment may not be remarkably healthy, decent, or safe. While the Unite the Right guys in Charlottesville were white supremacists who inflicted violence against counter-protestors. Still, I mainly do SantaCon posts as a way to make fun of the costumes. Not as a way to endorse the event. Anyway, for your reading pleasure, I give you another treasury of SantaCon costumes.

  1. Behold, all hail the mighty Viking Claus.
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He has horns on his Santa hat. Though I’m not sure if that’s a proper Viking drink.

2. Two Santas are always better than one.

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Though one Santa wears shorts. While the other wears a skirt of tulle.

3. When you need to go on a holiday pub craw at 3 and a 49ers game at 5.

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He has a 49ers style Santa suit on. But either way, he’ll come home wasted.

4. This Santa seems a bit horse.

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Since he has a horse mask on. While he’s wearing a mere Santa shirt.

5. One of Santa’s elves has left the building.

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Though she could easily be working for a mall Santa nearby. Yet, she wears a red dress over her green tights.

6. You can’t go wrong with a corset.

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She wears a sexy Santa dress with her Santa hat. While her boots are super fuzzy.

7. She seems quite frosty today.

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Yes, this is a sexy snowman outfit. I know it’s not appropriate for snow weather in any respect. Like the fuzzy boots though.

8. Perhaps you might prefer striped tights.

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This woman wears a more modest Santa dress. Her boots are trimmed with fur and red bows.

9. You better watch out because Santa Pimp is coming to town.

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He wears a long red coat with red pants and a red hat. Oh, and he has a chain around his neck. But he’s not a nice guy since he has women debase themselves for money.

10. Have you ever met the dreaded Santabot?

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He’s a robot Santa. So his suit is part of his build. But don’t push his buttons.

11. Mrs. Claus always needs a long, sleek dress.

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She wears a white fake fur cape over her strapless dress. Also includes Santa hat.

12. Who says Santa suits can’t be sexy?

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Not sure if that’s right. Though I know it’s supposed to be a dress. But Santa isn’t meant to be sexy, at least in the conventional sense.

13. These women always know how to be in the present.

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Actually, they’re dressed as presents. While 2 of them think they’re God’s gift to men.

14. Sometimes it’s best to go all out on red and furs.

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Indeed, this is another Santa dress. But this one comes with transparent red tights and a matching frock cape.

15. You can’t have SantaCon without the Grinch and Cindy Lou Who.

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The Grinch is in his Santa suit. While Cindy Lou Who is in her trademark hair as well as dons a black dress with fur trim.

16. Even Santa occasionally prefers his comfy clothes.

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He just wears a red robe. His beard is cotton. But he’s wearing crazy glasses for some reason.

17. You can’t go wrong with a square Santa hat.

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He even wears a chain necklace saying “Ho Ho Ho.” While his hair is untidy and black.

18. A flashy Christmas tree dress will make the season bright.

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She has a top of sequins and tinsel. While her skirt has plenty of bows. As her hat is a star topper.

19. It always pays to look one’s best for SantaCon.

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Though one of them sports a rather revealing fishnet top. Not sure how that’s going to keep her warm on a cold day.

20. I suppose an elf can arrive in a poncho.

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Well, it’s more of a dress. But based on the sleeve cut, it might as well be a poncho.

21. Perhaps one might prefer a green dress of fur.

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She’s supposed to be the female version of The Ghost of Christmas Present. Though she doesn’t have a beard, obviously.

22. Mrs. Claus always has to have a fancy dress.

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Here she wears a lovely dress with green and gold decoration. Though she looks a bit young to be elderly.

23. It doesn’t take much to be merry.

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Though this seems more appropriate for a Christmas party at a strip club. Seriously, that leotard doesn’t look practical in any respect.

24. A Santa dress can always have tulle trim.

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Here these women wear belts and Santa hats. Though you can tell that their outfits are DIY.

25. I suppose she’s from the kitchen.

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Well, she wears an apron with holly on it. While her collar has a green bow.

26. Santa doesn’t always have to wear a traditional hat.

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This is a candy cane jester hat. As this Santa holds a megaphone with red snowflakes inside.

27. This lamp seems to be throwing some shade.

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Well, she’s supposed to be the leg lamp from A Christmas story. But you wouldn’t know from the coat.

28. Perhaps you might want to be sweet in this candy cane dress.

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Her dress is mostly red with a red and white striped skirt. Helps that she has green hair.

29. This Christmas season, beware of the Krampus.

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Unlike Santa, he’s known to kidnap and punish the bad boys and girls. So it’s best to keep away from him.

30. Don’t like red? Go green instead.

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She wears a green Santa dress with matching gloves. Though she might feel cold on her shoulders as well as between her skirt and stockings.

31. A Snowflake Princess is a certified winter darling.

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Though her skirt’s quite short. While she dons a snowflake crown.

32. Any girl at SantaCon would love to don this reindeer dress.

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Her dress is mostly brown. Yet, it includes antlers and fuzzy leggings.

33. Say hello to Frosty the Snowman.

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Actually, it’s a guy dressed as Frosty the Snowman. And no, he can’t melt at room temperature.

34. When Jack Frost comes to town, things get cold.

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After all, he’s a spirit known to make things freeze in the winter snow. Best you be careful when he’s around.

35. Anyone would love a girl dressed as a candy cane.

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Her outfit mostly consists of red and white stripes like a candy cane. While she wears leggings of white fake fur.

36. Some may want a Christmas get up with animal prints.

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Even has a matching Santa hat. Still, I find animal prints as unspeakably tacky.

37. Seems like Santa’s got a present.

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This Santa wears a regular red suit and fedora. While the woman next to him is a present.

38. The Virgin Mary seems rather predisposed to reindeer.

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Don’t worry, the baby Jesus is a doll. Yet, Mary sure has a fine golden halo.

39. Santas come in all shapes and sizes.

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One even has mecha gear. While another wears a helmet.

40. Indeed, fishnets might match red velvet and white fur.

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Here she is on snowy ground. Wonder why her legs don’t shiver.

41. A Santa can’t go out without a fur coat.

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These Santas wear sunglasses and bauble necklaces. Yet, they sport very different hairstyles.

42. Sometimes Santa has to wear a gas mask.

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Wonder where he’s at that he’d need one. Also, the fur fringe looks quite gray.

43. When in doubt, go with capes.

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All the capes have a wintry design. While they wear a variety of red pants.

44. SantaCon is a bit different in Hawaii.

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These people want “Universal Elfcare 4 All.” Wonder what the North Pole workplace environment is like.

45. Santa always sees you when you’re sleeping.

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He even has his own scepter. But you better be good for goodness sake.

46. Feel free to come to SantaCon in your pajamas.

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Though one dresses as a polar bear. While 2 wear Christmas suits.

47. You’d think their dresses were quite gingerly.

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Well, they’re in gingerbread dresses. But unlike gingerbread men, they wear bows.

48. Seems like these people are for the ginger cause.

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Actually you don’t need gingers to make gingerbread. Still, like the guy’s Santa suit and lights.

49. Santa and his elves mean business.

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Santa wears a collar shirt and a red sweater. While his elves don business suits.

50. Say hello to Santa’s decontamination squad.

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Since they’ve got gasmasks, goggles, and hazmat suits alongside their Christmas gear. Hell, they’re even wearing garlands of tinsel.

51. On Christmas, you have to take the green with the red.

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She wears an elf jacket over her red dress. While she has long candy cane stockings on her legs.

52. Even Santa can use a seaside vacation now and then.

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He’s donned in a Christmas themed Hawaiian shirt. Though I’m not sure what he’s looking for.

53. Candy canes should always go with Christmas trees.

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The woman wears a candy cane dress. While the guy wears Christmas tree regalia.

54. Mrs. Claus has to make a formal impression.

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Yet, this seems more like White Christmas than SantaCon. Still, it’s quite a lovely dress.

55. Never fear, Super Rudolph is here.

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So when did Rudolph get a six-pack and a spandex speedo? Seriously, this is a dumb costume on so many levels.

56. Buddy always enjoys working on his snowflakes.

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Okay, Buddy’s not really an elf. But man, his snowflakes are amazing.

57. Seems like someone has come with a Christmas tree.

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Well, it’s someone dressed up as a Christmas tree. But you wouldn’t know that unless you look at the legs.

58. This elf woman knows how to make the toys.

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She even uses power tools. Makes you wonder what kind of toys she makes.

59. Presenting…Santa Squid.

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Yes, it’s Santa in a red squid outfit. Not sure how he manages to pull that off.

60. Santa hangs out with a few of his reindeer.

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Then again, female reindeer do have antlers during the Christmas season. But these women just wear antlers and shades of beige.

61. A Christmas tree can always use some tinsel.

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Well, she has her tree décor over her green dress. As her star is made from tinsel.

62. There’s not much to this snowman dress.

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By the way, that’s Katy Perry before she got her blond pixie cut. And yes, she’s wearing stick gloves.

63. Sometimes in Santa costumes, less is more.

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She has herself laced in this dress. But it’s barely a dress.

64. Of course, the North Pole has to have a strip club.

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I don’t know if the North Pole does. But this woman certainly dresses like a stripper near Santa’s workshop.

65. These toy soldiers seem dead inside.

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Hell, the nutcracker doesn’t even look that creepy. Seriously, these women freak me out.

66. She’s bound to cause a lot of uproar in her SantaCon costume.

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Because she’s a red cup from Starbucks. So she’s known to get a lot of furor from the folks at Fox News.

67. I’m sure this dress will bring in the holidays.

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Yes, I know she’s in a scantily clad outfit. But she wears a bow and fishnet stockings.

68. Santa doesn’t seem to like what he sees at the pool.

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Apparently, Santa wears an old-timey swimsuit. And he’s just saw some guy in a speedo.

69. Santa seems to have beer goggles.

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He’s supposed to be a drunk Santa. But he looks too much like a hunk.

70. SantaCon is coming to a galaxy near you.

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I mean these guys have Imperial Stormtrooper helmets on. Don’t worry, they can’t shoot straight, anyway.

71. Some are excited for presents. Some are presents.

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Some of them are in wrapped gift boxes. Hope they can sit down once in awhile.

72. Gingerbread people always stick together.

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There we have a gingerbread man and his lady inside a joint. And yes, they’re adorable.

73. Seems like we got a couple of ornaments.

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Well, they’re wearing shiny ornament costumes. Though they look kind of deflated.

74. It’s Santa’s pit crew to the rescue.

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You can tell since they’re elves with flight goggles. Yes, that’s a female Santa.

75. You can always inflate yourself to play Santa.

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Well, he’s wearing an inflatable Santa suit. Not sure how he’ll get out of it.

76. This Santa Claus is mostly nice.

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But even he can be a bit naughty. Yet, he’s also covered in money. So he’s kind of a con man.

77. Guess it’s Darth Vader’s turn to play Santa at the Galactic Empire’s Christmas party.

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He may know who’s naughty or nice. But this Santa is squarely on the Dark Side.

78. Introducing….Camo Santa.

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Yet, I don’t think bright red makes great camouflage. Still, it’s pretty funny.

79. When it comes to reindeer costumes, it’s best to keep it simple.

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They’re dressed in black with tulle skirt. But don’t forget the antlers.

80. Is that Mrs. Claus?

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Actually that’s a guy, which you can tell by his beard. But at least he’s wearing an ugly sweater and a Santa dress.

The Sweet Candy World of Gingerbread Architecture (Third Edition)

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Of course, when you think about gingerbread houses, two things come to mind: Christmas and Hansel and Gretel Though in the latter, the gingerbread house assumed the role of a windowless van offering free candy that you should stay the hell away from. Yet, Hansel and Gretel don’t listen and a witch almost cooks them into a pot to eat. Anyway, that’s a rather unpleasant subject. Still, despite that grisly fairy tale, gingerbread houses have been a longtime Christmas tradition. Though the image above mainly consists of a traditional design, you can find so many great gingerbread creations with the help of a Google search. During the holiday season, you’ll find many gingerbread house competitions throughout the country and the world. Though you’ll also find plenty of gingerbread renditions of landmarks and fictional settings. So for your reading pleasure, I give you another assortment of gingerbread creations. Enjoy.

  1. Perhaps you might want to stop at this cottage.
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This one has a couple of buttresses for support. Like the pretzel and chocolate wafer roof.

2. Care to come in?

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I know it’s supposed to be some kind of commercial establishment. But whether it’s a shop or a restaurant, I don’t have the slightest idea.

3. Some of you might prefer some chocolate siding.

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This one even has candy cane columns and railings. Love the trees and wreath.

4. Anyone would adore this Victorian home.

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This one is quite fancy. Like the candy cane columns and roof trim at the top.

5. Feel free to take a look into the windows.

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This is supposed to be a gingerbread music store. Since there are instruments in the window.

6. Hope this clock can tell you the time of day.

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Okay, it probably won’t. But it’ll give you an inventive show of gumdrop figures.

7. You might want to spend some time in this fairy treehouse.

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Well, the tree isn’t remarkable to look at. Yet, these fairies seem like an inviting bunch.

8. Nothing says Paris like the Eiffel Tower.

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This one has icing on its design. Yet, it’s the iconic image of Paris and possibly France.

9. A yellow house will certainly brighten things up.

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IT may seems small. Yet, it’s quite fancy enough for Christmas decorations.

10. “The stockings were hung by the chimney with care…”

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This one even leaves milk and cookies for Santa. While you see plenty of presents on the mantlepiece.

11. Seems like everyone’s come for the holidays.

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This is a pink Victorian where people gather for Christmas. One has even come in a truck.

12. So is this what the North Pole looks like?

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Santa’s house seems rather small. But the toy factory looks rather magnificent.

13. “Unto us a child is born..”

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This is a gingerbread nativity scene. The figures are inside. While the star is on the stable roof.

14. Perhaps you might want to relish in the snow.

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Wonder if it’s supposed to be where Santa Claus lives. Though I do love the style and the gingerbread figures frolicking in the snow.

15. In this house, you’re bound for adventure.

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You may recognize this as the Up house. The balloons are made from gumballs, by the way.

16. Would you want to spend Christmas in a rustic lodge?

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Well, this is quite a large one. Like the decorations and penguins. So stunning.

17. Hope you can smell what’s coming from the bakery.

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Well, it’s more of a German design. But I bet its contents smells as good as its structure.

18. “O little town of Bethlehem…”

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Yes, this is another gingerbread nativity scene. But the figures are much more prominent. So cute.

19. You’ll want to pray at this gingerbread church.

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This one is of a Catholic church called Our Lady of the Sacred Heart. Wonder where you can find the real thing. Since it looks quite old and intricate.

20. You might prefer this cozy house.

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This one is a Victorian with large windows. Like the wreaths on the columns.

21. Want anything from the surf shack?

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This one is at the beach with sand of brown sugar. Need a board, you’ll find it here.

22. Rover welcomes you to his home.

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This is a gingerbread doghouse. And yes, some of it is made out of dog treats.

23. A red brick house always has a certain charm.

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This one has an antique garage. Like the Christmas decorations.

24. Seems like Santa’s visiting this house.

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This is a cozy home. Has a nice brick façade with Christmas decorations. While Santa is up on the house top.

25. “There was an old woman who lived in a shoe…”

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Too bad it wasn’t enough living space to keep her and her kids. Though it’s more likely she was running a kids’ home. Since her own would be adults by now.

26. Can I interest you in this magnificent gingerbread castle?

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This is a white castle with red tower tops. Even includes an outside shack for some reason.

27. Settle down in this Christmas cabin.

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This log house is decked with red shutters and a wreath at every window. While it sports a multitude of icicles.

28. Santa’s toy factory is quite busy this holiday season.

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Seems like an impressive operation. Though I’m sure Santa might replace the elves with automation.

29. Care to stop at Victoria’s B&B?

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This one has an almond stone façade for more realism. Includes a snowman in front.

30. Feel free to admire the Christmas tree at this red brick house.

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This one has the tree in the front lawn. While garlands decorate the windows and wrought iron fence.

31. Stay in this tower house on a cold snowy night.

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Well, this is an interesting design. Though I love the purple icing on the walls.

32. Hop along on this carousel.

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This gingerbread carousel consists of horses and rainbow candy cane decoration. So pretty.

33. This house looks a lot like Christmas.

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Mostly since it’s red with green shutters and fixtures. Said to be a hotel. But looks more like a B&B to me.

34. You might be enchanted by this shrine.

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From what I can tell, it seems to resemble a shrine. Though I really can’t be sure despite its spectacular architecture.

35. You might feel at home in the Shire.

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This is a little hobbit neighborhood. Not sure where Bag End is supposed to be.

36. There’s so much to love about this large gingerbread house.

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This one has hearts all over the place. Love the smoke coming out of it.

37. Perhaps you’d like a roof of red licorice.

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This one also has candy cane columns. Like the Christmas decorations.

38. Care to try anything at this sweet shop?

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You can see plenty of present cakes inside. While the snowmen smile with delight.

39. All aboard on Noah’s ark.

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This one has 2 of each animal, including the sea creatures. Like the stained glass rainbow image on the boat’s side.

40. You’ll be amazed by Moscow’s St. Basil’s Cathedral.

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It’s said Ivan the Terrible had the architect’s eyes gouged out because he didn’t want the guy to design any other building like it. Though the tops are quite pretty.

41. Stop by this simple white house.

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This one has wreaths on every window and a stone fence. The roof is covered in flour snow.

42. Best you take a treat from Santa’s Bake Shop.

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You can see the treats through the window. While it sports a red and green chimney.

43. Hope you can do your business in this outhouse.

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Includes a couple of milk cans for added rustic charm. Though the only products produced here are gingerbread shits.

44. As we know, Noah built his ark.

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Includes animals coming in 2 by 2. And they’re probably the major reason why people do this gingerbread rendition in the first place.

45. You’ll find everything from cakes to crumbs at this bake shop.

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You can see the treats through the window. Like the Trees outside.

46. May I interest you in a tropical hideaway?

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Sure there may not be snow on it. But you have to admire the large stained glass window.

47. Nothing beats lounging at the beach.

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One guy’s about to go surfing. While 2 ladies lie in the sun.

48. Make a proper visit to Gingerbread Abbey.

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This is a gingerbread rendition of Downton Abbey. Or Highclere Castle in real life.

49. Hope you’ll be enchanted by this castle.

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This one has wreaths and candy cane columns. Love the towers.

50. You might prefer a house with more unique architecture.

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This one seems like it’s straight from the desert. While it’s decked in Christmas glory.

51. You’ll be in for a night at Radio City Music Hall.

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Though this time of year, you’ll might only get to see a Rockette show there. Like the massive tree.

52. It’s nice to spend Christmas at a rustic tower house.

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This one seems straight out of a fairy tale. The top mostly consists of shingles.

53. Perhaps you might want to ride a carousel horse.

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Wonder how big this one is. At any rate, it’s quite amazing someone could construct such a thing.

54. Have a drink at the tiki bar.

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This one is mostly made from pretzels. Yet looks very simple to make.

55. In the southwest desert, you can reside in an adobe.

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Yes, this is a gingerbread adobe. Though you wouldn’t find snow in Arizona and New Mexico.

56. A Native gingerbread person would love to reside in a teepee.

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Has all kinds of Christmas decorations on it. And there’s a fire inside.

57. Snoopy is all ready for Christmas.

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This is from the Charlie Brown Christmas Special. And yes, the Charlie Brown tree is present.

58. A tall castle never fails to make an impression.

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Looks really imposing. Like the tall towers. Even includes a train track.

59. Hope you can survive King’s Landing. Because many don’t.

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King’s Landing is the capital in Game of Thrones. Great cosmopolitan atmosphere. But stay away from Cersei.

60. Feel free to come inside this Christmas pagoda.

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This one has holly on the tiers. Has a white Christmas tree inside.

61. You’ll have a ball of a time at this Christmas castle.

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This one is supposed to capture the 12 Days of Christmas. And shows each of the items with consistency.

62. You would marvel at this Gothic revival church.

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This one has rather imposing towers. Love the decorations and design. So pretty.

63. Pay a visit to this red brick block.

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This is a gingerbread apartment building. Has candy cane railing. Love the garland decorations.

64. A rustic house can always have an elaborate design on top.

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Indeed, the roof is quite fancy. Like the Christmas wreath and tree on the terrace balcony.

65. Paddle along the Mississippi in this steam boat.

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Contains frog musicians apparently. Yet, it’s decked with candy cane columns and smokestacks.

66. It beginning to look a lot like Christmas on this block.

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Indeed, they’re 3 houses attached to each other. While there are 2 sets of chimneys between them.

67. George Washington always enjoyed Christmas at Mount Vernon.

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This one has the main house surrounded by Christmas trees. Has garlands on the windows and near the roof. While wreaths deck the doors.

68. A white house glistens after the first snow.

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This one doesn’t have as many Christmas decorations as the other houses. But you can see wreaths on the widow’s walk.

69. A yellow house can always impress during the holidays.

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This one lights up from the inside. Still, love the Christmas decorations and trees.

70. A dark house can always dazzle.

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Wonder if it’s from a storybook. In any case, got to see Santa getting stuck in the chimney.

71. Want to set sail?

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This one has a beach scene with a bar. Though the boat has a candy cane yard and a pretzel mast.

72. A large house like this can play host to a lavish Christmas party.

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This one has Christmas trees at the entrance. While you can see towers topped with snowflakes.

73. Perhaps a pretzel house can suit you.

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This one has pretzel siding, fencing, and shingles. While the icing makes the snow.

74. A brick tower house will make you feel at home during the holidays.

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Has Christmas trees in the lawn. While the tower is in pure holiday splendor.

75. You might be refreshed by a house of minty green.

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Well, it’s not totally minty green. But has a kind of whimsical charm.

76. Care to stop by the Apple Drop Farm?

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This one has an array of pumpkins and apple trees. Get them before the snow comes.

77. You’ll be charmed by this German clock.

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You can see people dancing and sharing a beer regardless. While it’s a little after ten.

78. Find peace at a remote Asian temple.

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This one has candy canes on the tier and roof. While the fish in the stream are probably Swedish.

79. Some may opt for the cozy confines of Bag End.

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This one has 2 chimneys. Also comes with a well cart, and garden.

80. Anyone would be charmed by this windmill.

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It’s near a golden bridge. Wonder how it retains the blades during the cold winter winds.

81. Don’t forget to pay a visit to the Lincoln Memorial.

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Though I’m not sure if it’s made out of brick since it’s more or less composed of stone. Though you have to like the candy cane columns.

82. I’m sure you might enjoy a performance at the Kennedy Center.

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It’s a performing arts center in Washington DC. Got to love the candy cane columns.

83. Though you can’t miss the Jefferson Memorial.

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The Jefferson may not be as well known as the Lincoln Memorial. Though the dome is quite magnificent.

84. Fallingwater looks spectacular during the winter.

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Okay, this is a gingerbread rendition of Frank Lloyd Wright’s best known building. Yet, you have to at least appreciate whoever made this.

85. You have to check out the Biltmore in a book.

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I think this is the Vanderbilt estate in North Carolina. Nonetheless, someone listed it as Hogwarts for some reason.

86. Hope your block is all ready for the holidays.

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Seems like a peaceful neighborhood. Some kids throw snowballs. Others build snowmen.

87. The Taj Mahal will certainly enchant you.

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Yes, this is a gingerbread Taj Mahal. And yes, it’s covered in white icing.

88. Now that’s a massive treehouse.

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This one is a massive apartment complex. So hold onto the candy cane railing.

89. You’ll see a lot of glowing candles at this house.

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This one uses shredded wheat as roof shingles. While garlands deck the columns, balcony, and windows.

90. The Pentagon seems all ready for Christmas.

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It’s the military headquarters and where most of America’s tax dollars go to. Because some old men want to build their little explody toys. Instead of instituting a universal healthcare system that would be extremely better for all of us. Because healthcare is a civil right, not a commodity.

91. Seattle is stunning in gingerbread and frosting.

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Even includes the Space Needle, the city’s most famous landmark. While the skyline is spectacular.

92. Here you will find the highest court in the land.

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However, now that Brett Kavanaugh’s in there, the Supreme Court’s legitimacy is under great scrutiny. Still, love the candy cane columns and Christmas decorations.

93. “The Whos down in Whoville loved Christmas a lot..”