The Funerary World of Coffins

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It is often said that funerals are more meant for the living than the deceased since it involves saying goodbye to a loved one. Of course, this year, I had to attend my grandfather’s funeral on the week of my birthday back in January. Now while it’s hard to deal with his loss for me and anyone else in my family, his death wasn’t much of a shock since he was 89 years old. Nevertheless, funerals are often big business since death is an inevitable part of the human existence. I mean sooner or later we’re all going to die. So we might as well get used to it. Funerals are a ritual in which we celebrate a recently dead person’s life before we send them on their way to the great beyond. Oftentimes this would involve embalming the person’s body and sticking them in a ludicrously expensive box known as a casket or coffin. For the next few days that body is on display for a viewing until just before the funeral in which they’re often shipped away to a place of worship and later the cemetery and six feet under. Normally a coffin is a long rectangular (or hexagonal) wooden (or metal) box which often contains a cloth liner and a pillow. Yet, there are some custom coffins out there which can be a little creative, which is where I come in. So for your reading pleasure, I give you an assortment of crazy coffins you’ll probably never see at anyone’s funeral. Enjoy.

  1. If your late nana always wanted to take a cruise but couldn’t, you might want to bury her in this.

There is a place in Ghana where they make custom made coffins like this. I guess this is for someone who worked on a cruise ship.

2. With a coffin like this, your dead pilot can reach the heavens in no time.

So what if it doesn’t actually fly. It’s just perfect for that one co-pilot on a flight to that great destination in the sky.

3. For a departed ballerina, a slipper casket will do.

Might be for Nina from Black Swan after she fatally stabbed herself. But it’s more likely for a dance teacher or choreographer.

4. Seems like John was a snooker man.

Because the balls here are all one color. Had he played pool, he would’ve been in more trouble a lot earlier.

5. Looks like this casket is bent over.

It’s actually a sitting coffin designed by surrealist Rene Magritte. You know him for his freaky paintings with the guy’s head behind an apple.

6. If you’re in a casket like this, it’s always hammer time.

That or it’s a perfect sendoff for a someone who was a real tool. Still, you don’t want to nail it in too hard.

7. Now this is a perfect send off for a real mother hen.

This is weird looking chicken. But I guess the deceased was a farmer. Though you can’t count them until they hatch.

8. This pink fish coffin is designed for those who let the big one get away.

Well, I guess there are pink fish in Africa. Still, talk about a fish out of water.

9. Of course, these coffins can give you the “fun” in funeral.

These one stand up and have faces on them. Not sure if they help ease the grieving process.

10. Your Uncle Stan may not be able to take his hot rod with him, but this is the next best thing.

I guess this casket didn’t come cheap. Then again, none of these do.

11. I’m guessing this was custom made for a woman.

Because it has boobs on it. Still, women have been buried in regular caskets for like ever.

12. For a funeral in Aspen, may I recommend an Alpine sendoff.

Well, this doesn’t seem too expensive. Just put the corpse in a bag and tie them to a sled with skis.

13. Now poor Charlie is literally in the jaws of death.

Yes, this is a shark coffin. I know what you’re thinking. But come on, I had to include one of these on my post.

14. Seems like this casket is someone’s key for the afterlife.

Though you’d be press to find a door it can unlock. Yet, it’s quite clever and simpler than some of the other designs.

15. A fancy car coffin should send you to that high end club in the sky.

Yes, there are coffins of cars, too. And this one’s windows are lined to give the dead person privacy.

16. There’s nothing like one last smoke before final departure.

Ever want to guess what killed this person. I think I have an idea. I mean it’s shaped like a cigarette so it’s practically obvious.

17. Before you go to the great beyond, remember to give us a call.

Turns out this Blackberry coffin has its own cover. Though the deceased is never calling back.

18. You’d find this casket rather reflective.

Well, it’s made from mirrors. Then again, light might bounce off of it if it’s a particularly sunny day.

19. How about be buried in a fancy eco-coffin?

These are cardboard coffins that disintegrate with the corpse over time. And they come in a variety of patterns.

20. If you’re on the highway to hell, why not have flames on your casket?

Yes, it certainly looks badass. Yet, you’d have to wonder who’d want to be buried in this.

21. Seems like fins are sticking out.

Actually the shark fins are part of the casket. Gives a more badass touch so to speak.

22. A Nintendo fan wouldn’t leave without their controls.

Sure the controls won’t work. But that doesn’t matter where this guy’s going.

23. He always wanted to go out with a bang.

Let’s hope that whatever this coffin looks like didn’t get him there. Because we all know what guns do to people.

24. How about you take your final trip in a convertible?

Well, you may not be able to get dates in it. Unless they happen to be among the choirs of angels.

25. You can say Brad lit up everyone’s lives.

That or he was a renowned electrician. Then again, even electricians will eventually burn out.

26. This eagle casket will certainly send your loved one soaring.

I have to admit, it has really nice feathers. Still, it’s more of a totem figure than anything.

27. For this deceased, it’s all 7s.

I guess this guy never had this much luck at a slot machine. Because no one ever does.

28. I guess who’s ever in there was a real basket case.

This is a wicker coffin and yes, it’s said to be eco friendly. Wonder if the Israelites put a dead Moses in one and sent him down the river. Oh, wait, they were in the desert. But it would’ve been an appropriate funeral for him.

29. If you’re in this coffin, chances are you’ll meet the Doctor at another time.

Well, I’m sure Doctor Who fans would want to be buried in this. Hope they don’t run into any Daleks along the way.

30. Your loved one will be camping forever in this one.

After all, people did camp in such trailers back in the day. And the windows have striped curtains.

31. Guess this woman is doing a solo on someone’s casket.

Well, it’s shaped like a large guitar. Yet, it’s a perfect sendoff for any well-known rock star.

32. Perhaps you might want a perfect picture of the afterlife.

This is a Canon. I’m sure it doesn’t work. But it certainly looks state of the art.

33. Send off your dead loved one in a casket of luxury.

By the way, this is what Michael Jackson’s coffin looked like. I’m sure it didn’t come cheap.

34. A boat motor coffin is perfect for whatever floats your boat.

Why a motor? Doesn’t make sense to me. Also does it float when you put it on the water?

35. A glass coffin always makes death transparent.

For some reason, I find the glass coffin idea kind of creepy. Must be due to Snow White, I guess.

36. If you want to make a statement, get buried in neon.

Now that’s my kind of coffin. Love the metallic stripes on it. So pretty.

37. Seems like a late DJ can drop a few beats.

Yet, I’m sure the club in the sky will have a very good selection. In fact, many of the musicians themselves are there.

38. Who’s said that a coffin should fit one when this fits 3?

There’s actually a sad story behind this one. So I won’t recall it. But yes, these do exist.

39. If you want a custom made coffin, this seems like a good fit.

Seems more like a containment chamber than a coffer. But hey, to each his own.

40. With this coffin, you can play video games for all eternity.

I’m sure plenty of people would want that. Yet, how can you play video games if you’re dead?

41. Instead of just a box, how about add a box kite?

After all, death should be a time when one should fly. Because death is always forever.

42. Perhaps it’s best to bury him the way they found him.

I guess they have a crime scene coffin, too. Not sure if that’s right. But it looks pretty funny.

43. For those who love beer, it’s an honor to be buried in a Pabst blue label.

Hope this person didn’t die from liver cirrhosis. Because alcoholism is a major problem right now.

44. This coffin was made for a real NASCAR sendoff.

Yet, if you want the real thing, make sure it crashes and burns into another coffin just like it. Not sure if that’s possible though.

45. This Twix coffin was built for 2.

Because Twix come in packs of 2. Hope you can get the picture here.

46. Lie in this coffin and nobody will forget you.

This is another Ghana coffin. Notice that it’s more in a traditional style.

47. You’d almost think this coffin was somebody’s dream house.

Well, sort of. But it certainly has a nice roof and porch to it. Love it.

48. This guy must’ve been a real monkey wrench back in his day.

Well, at least that one was easier to make than the hammer. But I wonder how you’d bury it.

49. Nothing makes a great send off than lying in a flamboyant lizard.

Well, if you can’t get buried in a dinosaur, then this must be the next best thing. But it’s still pretty cool.

50. Now this is how you pay tribute to an American hero.

Too bad the military just sticks with regular wooden coffins and draped flags. This seems more appropriate.

51. A dead piano player has to lie in this classy coffin.

This one even has keys on the side. Sure they don’t work, but it’s quite grand.

52. Looks like this coffin has received a lot of signage.

Though signing one’s casket isn’t usually a funerary tradition. Then again, to each his own.

53. An ocean lover would certainly would like to lie in this squid.

Then again, they’s probably prefer fish. But this seems like it can float one’s boat.

54. How about the porcelain treatment?

It’s just a wooden box with porcelain designs. Seems more appropriate for a china closet than 6 feet under.

55. This Nikon coffin is very state of the art.

Even resembles a real camera. May not take pretty pictures. But doesn’t look half bad.

56. Any last concessions?

I mean it’s a concession stand casket. But Quaker is the only brand I recognize.

57. How about a call back with this Nokia coffin?

This one even has a video screen. And I also hear it’s rather indestructible, too.

58. Ever wish you can be buried in your yacht? Now you can.

Well, sort of. Doesn’t quite resemble a yacht. But it’ll probably cost you an arm and a leg.

59. Bet you’re sure where this train car is going to take you.

Well, it more or less resembles a passenger car, not an engine. Because I couldn’t find the train engine. But this works.

60. Wonder how well this coffins projects this person’s life.

Then again, it seems this person worked at a movie theater. Though the reels don’t have film.

61. Seems like the fine wine has gone to vinegar in this casket.

Still, it’s kind of strange to have a bottle in the cask. Like the guy is a bottle.

62. He who’s buried in the remote controls all.

And this is for a Philips DVD player. All right, but you can’t push the buttons.

63. If you can’t be buried in your luxury ride, this luxury coffin will do.

Sure it might be real nice on the inside. But the only trip this thing will take you is 6 feet under.

64. Never thought you could be buried in a vise.

After all, a vise isn’t among the cool tools out there. Still, I wonder if it has any adjustments.

65. Wouldn’t necessarily call it a walkman. More like a lie-man.

Well, it’s in the shape of a walkman which people haven’t used for years. It’s kind of like an obsolete mp3 player.

66. Imagine yourself lying dead inside this scary lobster.

Well, that’s a gruesome lobster coffin. Definitely don’t want to be buried in that.

67. You’ll probably burn being buried in a red hot chili pepper.

You’d think this place in Ghana would make coffins of just about anything. Not surprised by this.

68. If you’re holy, you’d might want a coffin of biblical proportions.

Even has gold leaf on the pages and title. Just like a Bible should. But you’ll only find a body in this one.

69. In this coffin, you can write your own eternity.

Heard they have one that’s specifically for her. As if women haven’t been using these for decades.

70. Perhaps you might opt for a Venetian sendoff.

Because in Venice, they travel through canal boats since a lot of their streets are waterways. Though don’t ask for a gondola to sing for you there.

71. I guess this guy lying here was a bit of an old timer.

After all, it’s the kind of car you’d see on Downton Abbey. Still, whoever’s in that coffin better be old.

72. This gives a whole new meaning to “one foot in the grave.”

And it seems to be a Nike sneaker in this case. Even has its own laces.

73. The iDie brings the latest in funerary technology.

Something tells me that Steve Jobs was buried in this. I mean he invented the thing.

74. Now this coffin appears as pretty as a peacock.

Well, it certainly has a vivid feather train. And the man who made it is very proud of himself.

75. This turtle coffin takes the slow course to the cemetery.

Though you have to admire the shell shades on this one. Colors really go together.

76. How about a beer coffin by the bottle?

Guess this is a Ghana brand. Yet, “Club Beer” is hardly an original name if you ask me.

77. This coffin seems to have money all over it.

Guess this will be Donald Trump’s coffin when he dies. Because money seems to be among the few things that matter to him.

78. Uh, isn’t that bag a bit too large for carry-on luggage.

Caption: “Student Kirsten stands next to a coffin looking like a travel bag in a museum in Kassel, central Germany, Thursday, June 9, 2005. The exhibition called “crazy coffins” contains 16 different coffins and is open from June 9 to September 4.”

79. You’ve heard of rolling in Benjamins. How about lying in them?

Yes, this coffin is a stack of money. Only meant for the 1% who basically take it from the rest of us day in and day out.

80. A fallen deer hunter should always receive this special treatment.

Bet my neighbors will get a kick out of this. It even includes camo coffin liner.

81. May you lie in your final resting spot well grilled to perfection.

Now this’ll make your next summer barbeque an awkward experience. But I think it’s quite amusing.

82. Sometimes one might want to go with a more concept coffin design.

Basically it says that one’s deceased loved one was basically like leftover restaurant food. Come on, that totally is styrofoam.

83. Even in death you should always put your best foot forward.

This one is a more manly shoe. And it has been shine you can see yourself in it.

84. Hop aboard this plane for great luxury seating arrangements.

Too bad it only sits one. But at least the pink lining goes with the blue paint.

85. Perhaps you shouldn’t mind lying exposed sometimes.

Not sure why they have a coffin like this. Still, you can open it behind the boobs.

86. A dead fisherman should be sent off in this big beauty.

Yes, it’s my third fish coffin on this post. And yes, it’s pink. But it a white stripe on its belly.

87. How’d you like to be in this bottle of Coca Cola?

It even stands up on its own, too. Anyway, wouldn’t want to be in there.

88. This Hello Kitty coffin is a rather girly delight.

Actually it’s kind of creepy. I mean Hello Kitty is for little girls. Little girls stuff shouldn’t be on coffins.

89. For a majestic soul, you might want to lie in this lion coffin.

This one seems to take a lot of craftsmanship. Check out the detail on that mane.

90. This coffin was brought to you by Ghana Air.

Yes, I had to include this one. Because that’s where a lot of these outrageous coffins were made.

91. If you’re in Sergeant Peppers Lonely Hearts Club Band, try this coffin for size.

Bob must’ve been a die hard Beatles fan to be buried in this coffin. Yet, 2 of the guys on the side are still alive.

92. With this Viking boat coffin, you can give your loved one a send off fit for a warrior.

Just make sure you set it on fire as you set it on the water. Because that’s what happens at a Viking funeral.

93. How’d you like to be buried in a bottle of Jack Daniels?

Bet that would be fine with people who’d eventually die from Jack Daniels. Like Frank Sinatra for instance.

94. Well, since your funeral is a final sendoff, you might as well go with this.

Sure it depicts Da Vinci’s Last Supper. But c’mon, it’s a Renaissance masterpiece for God’s sake.

95. May this Tupperware coffin always keep your remains fresh.

After all, Hannibal Lecter has given these good reviews on Amazon. Okay, I’m getting a little too weird here.

96. This Panasonic coffin can always capture the moment.

Well, it would certainly give you a moment you’d remember. Because most coffins aren’t shaped like cameras at all.

97. Be buried in a way that’s fitting to any Starfleet officer.

Notice that it’s yellow for a command officer. Because redshirt bodies are normally left behind on the planet.

98. Seems like someone was murdered in here.

Actually that’s part of the casket. I know someone has a very sick sense of humor.

99. Seems like this nurse has had her last shot.

And they’re apparently burying her in a hypodermic needle. Quite fitting if you ask me.

100. You can easily sit on this casket if you want to.

It’s made to resemble a bench. Even has a leather lid you can sit on. Imagine that.

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Fantastic Amazon Reviews Well Worth Your Time

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In the age of the internet, Amazon has emerged as the default retail outlet offering everything from books, gadgets, toys, and what have you. It also helps that before you make your purchase, you can read what other people have to say about a product in its review section. Each review can come with a 1-5 star rating along with an explanation. Most of these reviews can provide rather useful information even if they tend to be boring to read. Though they may not always be reliable since everyone has an individual bias. But there are some merchandise on Amazon that have rather entertaining reviews you can read just for kicks. Of course, some of them aren’t meant to be taken seriously, especially if they’re written by a person who didn’t purchase the product at all, perhaps to point out a fault and mock it. Yet, there are always some who might not simply understand the product’s purpose at all. So for your reading pleasure, I give you a grand treasure trove of Amazon reviews that will be well worth your time. I insist. Some of these might not be safe for work, by the way.

  1. This gas mask might not be ideal gear for an armed robbery.

Of course, it wouldn’t. The product description makes it perfectly clear it’s for a Halloween costume and isn’t supposed to function like a real gas mask. But this reviewer didn’t get the memo.

2. If you don’t have strawberry jam, this lube will do just fine.

However, strawberry lube isn’t a viable substitute for jam. Because lube isn’t made for human consumption. Well, it is, but I can’t get into that.

3. A stainless steel tongue cleaner is perfect for any dirty mouth.

It’s only fitting that many of these reviews are for ridiculous products. This one says how great their tongue has been since they tried it.

4. Can’t afford this $120,000 TV, you might qualify for financing.

Okay, this guy is just making fun of how this TV costs more than a car. Like what he says about the box he now lives in.

5. Dexter Morgan rated this stainless steel prep table 5 stars.

Still, if you’re a guy like Dexter Morgan, you shouldn’t review products on Amazon. I mean he’s basically giving himself away here.

6. For a Florida photographer, everything about this Sigma zoom lens is great except for the color.

Since it weighs 40 lbs and resembles a missile, you can clearly see why. Still, you would think it would come in black or gray like most camera gear.

7. You know you have good noise cancelling headphones, if you can’t hear your neighbor getting stabbed when wearing them.

Nevertheless, I’d be even more impressed if it pertained to someone getting shot. Because even with noise canceling headphones it would be hard not to hear a gun go off.

8. Uh, I don’t think I’d drink that Tuscan Whole Milk if I were you.

Actually, I think this review is a joke on how ridiculous it is to buy food online. The milk is obviously spoiled that it’s practically cheese. Disgusting.

9. Unfortunately, this Playmobil security checkpoint set doesn’t capture the real life experience.

The fact toys like this exists today really says a lot about our culture. Still, it’s funny how this kid wants a Playmobil neighborhood surveillance system.

10. Apparently, this account of Wagner’s Ring Cycle will satisfy any opera fan.

I think this person writes this review in order to put in a few sex jokes. Yes, “Penetrating Wagner’s Ring,” really?

11. Aspiring to be a dictator of a 3rd world country? Amazon has just the tank for you.

Actually this is just a $20,000 toy because civilians aren’t allowed to even own a real tank. Nor should they.

12. This classic cremation urn is perfect for storing your loved one’s ashes or brown sugar.

However, storing brown sugar in a cremation urn to play jokes on your friends is just sick. Also, I can tell ashes and brown sugar apart, thank you very much.

13. A pair of Zubaz pants can always make  you feel like a man.

I don’t know about you, but I find these zebra pants outrageously tacky. Seriously, this guy has no idea how ridiculous these look.

14. For the love of God, don’t ever buy this zombie garden gnome.

I’m sure this zombie garden gnome is perfectly harmless. Why? Because gnomes are sculptures that don’t come to life.

15. According to this guy, using this toilet brush was absolute agony.

Uh, I don’t think he understands that people use a toilet brush to clean their toilet. Not wipe their butt with it.

16. Sometimes a Rubbermaid ice cube tray can make all the difference.

Okay, this review might come from someone who may have a problem. Even said how they threw away their old trays into an active volcano.

17. When using this no-crow rooster collar, proceed with caution.

From reading this, it appears this thing actually chokes the rooster wearing it for a long period of time. Talk about a device that’s cruel to animals.

18. Barbasol shaving cream is perfect for corporate espionage operations.

The review seems to come from a guy straight out of Jurassic Park. Also, I’m sure he’ll probably regret transporting those dinosaur embryos.

19. Mace brand bear pepper spray isn’t always 100% effective.

Uh, are you sure you aimed at the bear correctly? Because according to HowStuffWorks, bear spray is effective about 92-98% of the time. However, you have to spray the bear in the face.

20. Avery Durable Binder is great for storing women away.

This is a play on the Mitt Romney comment of “binders full of women” back in 2012. Yes, good times.

21. A lined cat muzzle will sure keep your kitty from staring at you awkwardly and eating.

Other than being possibly cruel to animals, this guy gave it a positive review. Though he might want to let his cat eat and breathe once in awhile.

22. Apparently, this watch doesn’t tell the time like this user wants it to.

For God’s sake, 1.3 milliseconds is nothing. Also, this guy seems to resort to really sick means of timekeeping which I can’t describe right now.

23. Sorry, but a coat rack won’t solve your relationship issues.

Seriously, this guy needs to move on. Also, what the hell does he think a coat rack is supposed to do?

24. A plastic desktop fan does a wonderful job keeping a man’s junk cool.

Still, I don’t think it’s this fan’s intended purpose. Also, why would a guy need to keep his junk cool? I don’t understand it.

25. Speaking of a man’s junk, best to avoid using veet on it.

I think this was made for men’s faces, not their private parts. And this guy just had to warn everyone.

26. Cheeseburger earmuffs will surely keep you warm.

I’d like to see a picture to get some idea on what the hamburger earmuffs looked like. But the description is fine by me.

27. Easy bake oven doesn’t bake anything right.

For God’s sake, is this person an idiot? The Easy Bake Oven is a toy, not an appliance! You can’t bake a loaf of bread in it.

28. Seems like someone’s complaining how this case can’t contain their pelican.

They don’t seem to get that Pelican is a brand name. It doesn’t say it’s a case for pelicans which it isn’t. But this person didn’t see it that way.

29. This $22,000 camera cost this person everything, but it was worth it.

$22,000 for a camera, that’s insane. User said it cost them 4 years rent and now has a restraining order against their kids due to gross negligence. Well, no shit.

30. Forever Lazy suits are great for couples who can’t get their hands off each other and those who gave up on life.

I can’t see why a fleece onesie would be sexy. Though the notion it can almost set a house on fire doesn’t surprise me.

31. According to this guy, this Bible doesn’t work at all.

Apparently, this person doesn’t get the idea of prayer. Sure he might want a Porsche or a burger. But you can’t take Scripture literally for God’s sake. Jesus Christ!

32. This $90,000 Zenith watch is a real bargain.

I’m sure this is a person who has more money than God. Because a normal person wouldn’t blow $90,000 on a watch and be able to afford a car or a vacation.

33. This book basically spoils everything on the cover and isn’t fun to read.

That’s because it was written for babies. Of course, you wouldn’t find it of any literary value.

34. Blowing all your money on these Nike foam sneakers is well worth the wait.

I know this is a joke. But spending $3,000 for shoes is obscene, especially if it provides the same kind of comfort as a pair costing $60.

35. These Bic Pens for Her have made this housewife a whole new woman.

I guess this is a play on Bic’s ridiculous idea as if women couldn’t write until they got their own pens. Besides, as a woman, I’ve used regular Bic pens for years.

36. This UFO Detector doesn’t work and isn’t worth the money.

I’m sure this UFO detector is more of a toy than anything. Because if it was used to detect UFOs, MIB would already have one.

37. Seems like sugar free gummi bears are a perpetual nightmare.

Uh, I’ve probably ate about 20 of these myself at one point. Nothing like that has happened to me at all. This is just insane.

38. For a 21st century workout, try this smart floor exerciser.

The mention of the NSA in this review cracked me up. But yes, this is a ridiculous product.

39. I’m sure you’re not supposed to go camping in this pyramid.

Because it’s not a tent. It’s for meditation in the outdoors. But try telling it to this guy.

40. Seaweed extract can rid you of house ghosts and cure your cat’s autism.

I guess this person knows this is a scam product that’s full of shit. But the review is funny.

41. This Kindle waterproof case cover does its job.

However, this customer didn’t seem quite satisfied with using it. Because they didn’t expect it to work so well.

42. This chastity device will keep your boy from jerking off when he hits puberty.

Look, I know men talk about their junk too much. But I totally understand if they think it’s a torture device.

43. Seems like this guy had no idea there were cheaper TVs available.

I’m like “no shit,” since my parents have a smart Samsung one that cost considerably less money. So I can’t blame the guy’s wife for kicking him out.

44. These Rubbermaid ice cube trays can change everything.

For some reason, people seem to view these ice cube trays as a lifesaver. Not sure why.

45. This banana slicer has saved this woman’s marriage.

For God’s sake, it’s a freaking banana slicer! It’s not a miracle device! It’s just used for slicing bananas like no big deal.

46. This USB cable works too fast.

Funny, cause excessive speed in a cable wouldn’t be what I’d complain about. Though the user gave the product 2 stars.

47. This horse head mask has saved lives.

Really? This is for looking silly, not for witness protection. Besides, it’s inspired by a key scene in The Godfather.

48. With Veet for Men, his farts are louder than before.

I guess Veet for Men is as ridiculous as a ballpoint pen for women. Still, I’m sure its Amazon page is fun to read.

49. If you need to learn English as a second language, this is the book for you.

I don’t think this is written by a real Russian. But it’s quite funny as hell.

50. Why waste toilet paper, when this bidet spray clean your butt better?

Sometimes you have to wonder if people are too open about their bodily functions. Still, not sure if I’d want this.

51. With a Swiss Army knife like this, a woman can turn into a man.

I wouldn’t go that far. But I see this woman’s point. Yet, no one could fit that in their pockets.

52. Apparently, a dinosaur T-shirt can get a guy to go too far.

It’s even funnier when you find out that the person’s son is a 29-year-old man. But yeah, don’t stick eggs up your ass. Please.

53. While this product works, you’d think this guy should’ve left his wife a long time ago.

Reading this you’d have to wonder about this guy. Tattoo remover or not, this guy’s wife was going to kick him out either way.

54. This lighter fluid review just states the obvious.

Well, at least it states what you can find in the product information. Not much else I can say.

55. Hulk hands won’t get you out of a life or death situation.

People don’t buy Hulk hands for fighting. Though it’s funny to know that the reviewer describes a schoolyard bullying scene and he’s in college.

56. This stun gun will defend you from potential muggers in the Walmart parking lot.

When you actually read this, you realize this guy is a real asshole. I mean he tried to electrocute a bunch of Girl Scouts.

57. Now here is a cookbook for those who give up on life.

I guess when people read this book, they think of those who’ll probably die alone. Yeah, kind of depressing.

58. This waterproof bluetooth speaker sure lives up to its description.

And this person says it’s quite indestructible, too. Because they said their father-in-law’s survived a tornado.

59. This penguin mask will surely scare the kiddies.

Yes, it’s kind of creepy. But what the hell, it could be fun if you like scaring people.

60. A bottle of glitter can be used for more than arts and crafts.

Apparently, from this review, it makes a handy security system. But this guy’s roommate wasn’t impressed.

61. A USB port for multiple devices can solve a lot of problems.

Yet, crippling alcoholism and an unhealthy obsession with Dakota Fanning will certainly wreck this relationship. This couple is really screwed up.

62. This silent wired mouse has saved at least one relationship.

Uh, I don’t think this guy should celebrate yet. Seriously, his girlfriend is literally cheating on him.

63. No, The Wolf of Wall Street didn’t have anything to do with wolves.

Still, if there were, it would’ve been a way better movie. At least a lot of the Wall Street characters would get what they deserved.

64. Unfortunately, Sunshine isn’t a movie about daylight savings time.

Also, this guy seems to have crazy expectations of this film. Maybe he just didn’t understand it.

65. This Furby is such an obnoxious toy you don’t want to get your child.

Well, furbies are annoying toys since they were a fad in the 1990s. But I don’t think it will turn your son into a hipster.

66. According to this guy, Good Will Hunting is a good movie ruined by excessive profanity.

Boy, this guy is sure going to hate The Wire. Besides, I didn’t think the profanity in this movie was that bad.

67. With a Bic pen for women, you can be a super woman.

Yes, Bic for Her is a ridiculous product and this review shows this. And no, I’m afraid she won’t end up with Robert Pattinson.

68. Unicorn meat is highly unethical.

They recommend you stick to dragon meat instead. Still, the unicorn meat isn’t real.

69. This horse head mask won’t fit on horses.

That’s because it was made for humans. So of course, it wouldn’t fit on a horse.

70. Fiji water is liquid ice.

This person is making fun of the concept of bottled water. I mean why buy it in a bottle when you can get it through pipes?

71. Guys, want to do other things while drinking beer? Behold, the black leather beer holster.

Of course, he does list some activities you’d rather not try while holding your beer in the holster. Yet, he rates it 5 stars.

72. Uh, I don’t think that wolf urine is meant for human consumption.

Actually, I think it’s for warding deer off your yard. Still, tasting it yourself is pretty disgusting.

73. This large Snickers bar is the best way to contract diabetes.

As to why you’d want that, I don’t have the slightest idea. But this guy does have a point.

74. Nothing can bring you joy like a bottle of face paint.

Though if you’re white, don’t go out with the brown one on. I hope I need not explain why.

75. Now if they had paper for women, this woman can finally learn to write.

Another slam on the Bic for Her. Because women have used the regular pens for years.

76. To avoid nuclear meltdowns, this tape is highly recommended.

No, this kind of tape probably wouldn’t be good for a nuclear power plant. But the review is very funny.

77. Hope teenagers can learn their lessons on avoiding huge ships.

Reading this, you’d almost think this person was talking about drugs. Yet, you can’t help but laugh.

78. This ancient humidor contains phenomenal cosmic powers.

Still, I think this review is full of crap or a complete joke. And no, I don’t think it was made by aliens.

79. The iPotty makes potty training easier.

Yet, I can see why this man isn’t the custodial parent. Also, letting your boy read “gentleman’s magazines” isn’t great parenting.

80. With a can of uranium ore, who knows what would happen.

There’s even a TMNT reference in it. Also, someone now types with 6 fingers. These are great.

81. For those attending an alt-righter’s Halloween party, have I got the mask for you.

Seems more like a lawn jockey mask. But if your friends like to dress in white robes, cut holes in sheets with conical tops, and burn a cross in the yard, go for it.

82. Grandpa’s pine tar soap makes a guy smell like a man.

Well, at least it’s not Axe. Still, don’t you enjoy reading Amazon reviews on men’s hygiene products?

83. The mangroomer gets rid of that pesky back hair.

You see, it’s rather easy to reach. But some guy got caught up in a lawsuit over it for some reason.

84. Be an invisible force in the night with this ninja mask.

So this thing can turn you into a badass? I don’t see how it’s possible.

85. Make your home look great with a Wallmonkey stock photo decal.

I can understand decals of superheroes, Harry Potter, or sports. But this is ridiculous.

86. If you’re a cop, equip yourself with some Blue Brand Pepper Spray.

Here this person is mocking how law enforcement treat campus protestors. Yes, I know it’s pretty appalling. But they make a point.

87. Start them young in counterterrorism with this toy predator drone.

I know drones are controversial. But I’m sure this is a toy that won’t hurt anyone.

88. This Samsung Framed TV is the best thing ever!

Seems like this guy really loves his TV despite how expensive it is and doesn’t fit in their house. Not sure if it’s worth it.

89. This Nicholas Cage pillow is a real national treasure.

No, I don’t think Nic Cage pillow is something I’d want to own. Besides, he’s a practical washout nowadays.

90. This portly frog is an artistic masterpiece.

But to me it’s a tacky lawn ornament you can buy almost anywhere. Though to each his own.

91. These shoes are great when you’re being chased by a dog.

This review is straight from The Sandlot. It’s one of those movies about baseball that’s based in the 1960s. Great for preteens.

92. The wife may take everything, but the man controls the thermostat.

Enjoy tormenting your ex-wife while it lasts, buddy. Cause you won’t be controlling the thermostat for long.

93. This Tri-bladed hand claw is perfect for getting syrup from a tree.

Makes me wonder why sap producers don’t use it very often. Also, you don’t get much sap from a tree to put on pancakes anyway.

94. A binder like this is great for office professionals, awful for caterers.

Once again, the binders full of women joke from 2012. Some can’t seem to get enough of these.

95. This guide is handy if you have adult children or a lot of them.

The second comment seems to make no sense whatsoever. Parents must’ve misread the title.

96. These sponges always put a smile on this user’s face.

But this person says they never use them and draws faces on them. Hope this person understands what sponges are for.

97. Clive Christian Imperial Majesty perfume will almost sweep any woman off her feet.

Well, if you’re talking about perfume for men, this is a good review to advertise. An interesting read.

98. If you love vultures, this mask is for you.

Though this person seems to be out for revenge. Also, unless it’s a California condor, a disguise wouldn’t be very effective.

99. If you live in LA, then wheelmate is just for you.

Though to be fair, I can’t blame people for wanting to do other things while stuck in traffic. Still, it has a potential to be a driving hazard when it comes to some people.

100. This patriotic tank top will make you a real American hero.

Sorry, but this isn’t going to make you into an American superstar. Also, kind of tacky as hell.

The Anthro World of Furry Costumes (Second Edition)

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Once again, Pittsburgh has paid host to world’s largest furry convention, Anthrocon. I know many people might see it as a strange fetish. And for many people it is. But as far as Pittsburgh is concerned, as long as these animal costumed fans spend their money for food and lodging. Also, they seem to be a hit with the kids as far as the news reports make it. Still, you have to wonder how they’d put up wearing an animal costume in scorching heat is the question. I mean they’d have to be roasting in these outfits. After all, many of the character costumes at Disney World are equipped with fans for obvious reasons, not the least that the resort is located in central Florida. But still, furry culture can seem quite weird as you see in the picture above. So for your reading pleasure, I give you another treasure trove of furry costumes.

  1. That bighorn yak sure wields an axe.

Though I almost thought it was a bat until I saw the horns. Still, he has a nice suit of armor.

2. Seems like we have a spiked deer in our midst.

Even has a necklace in his likeness. Must be a character from a book he’s read.

3. Bet you’ve never seen a blue dog before.

Yet, he seems to have brown hair on his head. Not sure how to explain that.

4. This blue dog has some fins and a tail to match.

Well, a lot of furries do consist of mix and match critters. This one has a shark fin and tail.

5. You might give a paw to this scruffy animal.

Not sure whether I’d say they’re a fox or a dog. Either way, they must be hot under that thing.

6. Long ears never go out of style.

Helps if you wear a shirt that matches your black and purple fur. Though that might be stretching it.

7. Blue fur is always great at the playground.

Doesn’t hurt if they can show of their long tail. Though what’s with the blue bandanna?

8. This white snow leopard just wants to say hello.

Well, she she surely has a nice coat and tail. Hope she can catch the escalator.

9. Teal and orange never go out of style.

Though I have to admit, the bandanna goes quite nicely. Still, there’s a lot about furries I don’t understand.

10. Seems like nobody expected a white wolf in the city.

Interesting how a lot of these furry costumes depict dogs. Yet, this one is almost all white for some reason.

11. Sometimes natural earth tones are best.

Well, he’s flexing his muscles to look like a tough guy. Not sure if it helps his case.

12. Who are you calling spotted?

This one has orange and black spots on their back. But they really seem quite the character.

13. Don’t mind this horned dog hanging out.

Yes, I know dogs don’t wear horns. But some of these furry costumes are simply fantastical. Also, are those hooves?

14. How about you greet this cool black cat?

Even has their own collar. But don’t worry, they won’t give you bad luck if they cross your path.

15. Anthrocon is always a great place to spread one’s wings.

This guy came dressed as a fuzzy dragon. Though why they have fur instead of scales, I have no idea.

16. Sometimes a wolf may feel content in their own skin.

Bet they’re just waiting for their pack to return. Or they’re just a lonely wolf tired of howling.

17. Might want to check out this kitty’s jet pack.

Well, the flames are mostly made from tissue paper. But the rest of it almost resembles a the real thing.

18. Now this guy is quite the tiger.

Though when they say, “Be a tiger,” they usually don’t mean it literally. But this is a pretty cool costume nonetheless.

19. You can always stand out in red stripes.

This guy even has a red nose to match. Though the fur composition is quite a combination.

20. But you can always use some blue now and then.

Seems to resemble a husky of some sort. Then again, there’s much about furries I don’t understand.

21. You dare not to mess with this horny bobcat.

Well, she has horns. But she’s also dressed as a fantasy character to let you know her animal originally existed in her imagination.

22. These dogs just want to keep things casual for now.

Well, at least their clothes make them seem less freaky. But yes, the furry thing is pretty weird.

23. Seems like someone has their paws out.

Though the fur pattern is quite intricate. But I’m sure it’s not meant for camouflage.

24. This panda bear has left the building.

Not every day you see a panda walking around. Hope he can get plenty of bamboo before he leaves town.

25. You can always wear a scarf with red and gold.

Well, this guy knows how to stand out in a crowd. Yet, I’m sure you’d freak out if you saw a dog like this.

26. Check out this cool dog in black with yellow stripes.

Almost thought this was a horse until I saw thedog nose. But pretty snazzy if you ask me.

27. This perky dog is eager for anything.

Well, she’s wearing a lovely top and jeans. But the bow is kind of bland.

28. Never thought I’d see a minotaur up close before.

Also, I’m more used to seeing a minotaur in a stone Cretan labyrinth. And I heard he’s not great around people outside his family.

29. Perhaps it’s best to leave that fox alone in the woods.

Funny how they’re wearing a leather jacket. Wonder where they got that from.

30. It would be a mistake to ignore these furry girls.

They’re also wearing dresses that come best with their fur. So sweet.

31. Get a load of this red dragon.

Doesn’t hurt he has spikes on his knees. Though I don’t see the practically. Then again, it’s just a costume.

32. Might want to take a look at this horned cat’s long tail.

Yes, mix and match critters is at play here. Still, wonder how this cat gets around dragging that thing.

33. You’ll certainly know it if you ran into this bright tiger.

I wouldn’t be surprised if this guy sells highlighters when not in his furry costume. Then again, he may wear it on the job.

34. This big horned sheep is all ready for battle.

Then again, this sheep might be some kind of sorcerer or something. But I know what they use those horns for.

35. That goat sure has long horns.

Well, at least this person dresses as a bipedal goat. But I’d sure wouldn’t want to be on the horns’ receiving end.

36. Never thought this snow leopard would whip their sword out.

Bet you wouldn’t want to mess with this furry badass. Else you may learn the hard way.

37. This wadling osprey is slow to take off the ground.

Kind of reminds me of a bird of prey I saw in a cartoon. Was it Fern Gully?

38. How about a jump onto a fluffy bed?

Because any dog likes a nice soft bed. Though a furry in this pose is kind of freaky.

39. This bunny always enjoys a colorful sweater.

Love the hoodie jacket. Very colorful with rainbow sleeves and pockets. That rabbit’s got style.

40. Get a load of this foxy selfie.

Kind of reminds you of the selfies you might see on online dating profiles. Though this girl is more of a vixen.

41. Want to play fetch?

Not sure to drive the point with a ball in your mouth. Seriously, this is just freaky.

42. Nobody could resist purple fur in the winter time.

What the hell is this dog wearing? Is that a swimsuit? Well, at least there’s a fur suit underneath.

43. No dog wants anything more than a large juicy piece of meat.

Well, a plush steak will do. After all, this green dog only plays a role during the furry convention.

44. How about a shirtless leopard pic?

Then again, you can probably get away with this. Looks more freaky but in a different way.

45. Seems like this dog can really strike a pose.

Costume seems like it’s modeled after a real dog. Australian cattle dog, perhaps? Nice fur though.

46. These deer antlers come with white tips.

Bet it’s a reindeer. Though this guy is most likely brown in the back.

47. This blue dog has a star in their hands.

Well, you have to like the blue fur. But as I have to say, furries are a weird bunch.

48. This guy looks a bit husky.

Though chances are you wouldn’t see him pulling a sled. Yet, it won’t stop him from trying.

49. Nothing makes fur fun like some blue designs.

You have to wonder why people dress in animal costumes. It just seems to defy all explanation for me.

50. With this fox, just act casual.

Well, just a fox head and some baggy clothes. What more can you want?

51. This Canadian cat has a pair of high horns.

And this guy has the maple leaf flag on their belt to show nationality. Not sure why the costume includes horns.

52. This bunny knows the way of the samurai.

This one has pants and armor to boot. Too bad he didn’t bring a katana. Bet the convention center has a weapons policy.

53. May I introduce you to Lemonade the Angel Dragon?

Yes, many of these furries have original characters to their costumes. I know it’s weird. But I don’t understand it either.

54. Seems like this vixen can be kinky at Christmas.

Here she is in a Santa dress and leather corset, boots, and gloves. Guess this is for a Christmas card.

55. This black and white dog is jumping for joy.

Well, this guy isn’t as flashy as some of the other dogs. But I hope they don’t hit the water.

56. This blue dog can’t help but show off their long spiky tail.

Also has some yellow spikes on their ears. Looks good in jeans and a shirt.

57. “How do you like my portrait?”

Well, it’s more of a stylized likeness. But it’s better than what I could’ve drawn.

58. Hope you run into this friendly grizzly in the park.

Don’t worry. He won’t steal your picnic basket. Oh, well, if he’s not hungry.

59. With these two dogs, it’s pure puppy love.

One is a green dog holding the bag. The other is a white dog with flowers in her ears and a scarf around her neck.

60. This tough deer is all leathered for action.

Though isn’t leather made from deer. Oh, wait, they make it from cows nowadays. Still, freaky.

61. This vixen steps out in a sexy dress.

Well, she might have a certain type of outfit. But she certainly looks quite fabulous in it, as far as some furries are concerned.

62. Someone has to be top dog around here.

Guess this is a German shepherd. Though you won’t find him sniffing around any time soon.

63. Sonny Pup can’t help himself sometimes.

He even has a nice collar. But outside a furry convention, you’d freak out if you run into him.

64. Cacti never wants to be hugged. So don’t.

You see how freaky this furry subculture can be? Yes, this guy is Cacti. Don’t ask me.

65. This white dog can’t leave without wearing her pink dress.

Okay, that’s kind of strange. I don’t know what to think of this. Seriously, she’s freaking me out.

66. A yellow goat has to carry a red fan.

I bet this guy fancies himself a samurai. Though it just seems a bit creepy to me.

67. It takes a lot to maintain long fur.

And I’m not sure how this person take care of their costume. But some might find it amazing.

68. Looks like this cat has an evil plan.

This guy seems like a character from something. I’m not sure where though.

69. This dark horse always uses the latest Mane and Tail.

And this horse poses for a picture like a model. Show off.

70. These two are just foxing around.

Yes, dance at the water fountain. Then tell me how it was like to fall into the water. Sucks, right?

71. Seems like this dog decided to go casual.

Well, when in doubt, casual is where to go. Though the fur costume makes it a bit more awkward.

72. A zebra always has to know how to dress.

Though the stripes and plaid kind of clash. Seriously, a zebra should just bare it all out.

73. Bet you’d never get a load of this pink dragon.

This costume consists of fur and scales. Like either would go together save on an armadillo.

74. You can always love a dog in bright yellow.

He also has bright green paws and a blue bandanna. Can see him from several miles away.

75. Now that is one funky rabbit.

The bunny even has their ears pierced. But your eyes would be sore looking at this one.

76. This blue feline always enjoys the winter.

Though they don’t seem to be perfectly camouflaged. Though the coat’s kind of cool.

77. Someone’s feeling batty today.

But at least this bat doesn’t suck blood or eat bugs. Also has a nice medal around neck.

78. Ever saw a rainbow dog before?

Neither have I. But you’d probably see a dog playing with a balloon.

79. Rainbow sleeves never go out of style.

Nor do they need to go with a shirt. Because we all need rainbows in our lives.

80. This griffin always wears their heart on their chest.

This one even has small wings to go with their white body. But they stand proud.

Celebrate the Stars and Stripes Forever with These Star Spangled 4th of July Craft Projects (Second Edition)

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On with the craft projects. As the 4th of July is a celebration of America’s birthday, many people in the country tend to splurge on star spangled decorations. In this picture alone, you have American flags, American flag decorations, and figures of Uncle Sam. Yet, while plenty of party stores and retail outlets are happy to sell patriotic paraphernalia, some people take it a bit further by making their own. Yes, red, white and blue are the dominant colors.  And some of these often depict stars and stripes like you see on the American flag. Of course, many of these might violate the US Flag Code but it’s not that anyone pays attention to it anyone unless someone burns a flag in public protest. But that’s talking about an earlier post I did years ago. Anyway, for your reading pleasure, I give you another treasure trove of 4th of July craft projects for your home and yard.

  1. To mark the 4th, perhaps you might want to go with this.

It’s a wooden 4 that’s blue with white stars. Helps someone used a red and white string to tie it for emphasis.

2. In a more rustic setting, a red berry wreath with a star will do.

But don’t forget topping it with a blue ribbon. Otherwise, someone might mistake it for a Christmas wreath.

3. Nothing brings out one’s love of country like this 4th of July tree.

Yes, I know they do these trees for every holiday now. But at least it’s red, white, and blue.

4. A burlap patriotic wreath brings a homespun American touch.

Includes wooden letters “USA” and red, white, and blue stars. Love the navy blue bow, too.

5. Sometimes all you need is a simple white wreath.

Though be sure to include a red and white striped background and a navy blue ribbon with white stars. And the display should be in a white wooden frame.

6. The stars and stripes should be painted on a large wooden panel.

Because nothing emphasizes America than a flag painted on aged wood. Great for any American home.

7. Welcome guests on the 4th of July with this red, white, and blue deco mesh wreath.

Sure the colors seem to run together. But you have to admire the navy blue ribbon and stars.

8. Or perhaps you prefer a wreath of ribbons.

This one uses several consisting of stripes and stars configurations. Like how the stars give it charm.

9. You can’t set your table at a 4th of July barbecue without burlap cutlery bags with the flag.

Because it’s likely that you might need something to keep the cutlery from blowing off the table. Still, like the painted flag.

10. No American couch should be without this patriotic pillow.

Consists of a red and white striped pillow with a navy blue bow of white stars. Great for any American furniture piece but the dining room table.

11. Welcome your guests this 4th of July by hanging this star spangled wreath.

Like how it has red, white, and blue stars hanging from blue ribbons. Not sure what the wreath material is though.

12. For 4th of July and fun in the sun, may I suggest this star-spangled flip flop wreath?

Though keep in mind that, “flip flop” describes the sandals not senators. Has red flowers and blue sunglasses in the center.

13. A wreath wrapped in a flag can look quite stunning in a window frame.

Though the window frame is much to be desired. But it makes a fine outdoor decoration regardless.

14. If you’re not a fan of wreaths, you might want to try a star.

Well, it’s a rustic 5 pointed star with an American flag and pussy willows tied in a ribbon. Love it.

15. How about an American flag wreath with paper roses?

Well, dried roses anyway. But I know dried roses when I see them. Still, this is quite lovely.

16. A deco mesh wreath should always contain an Uncle Sam hat.

Helps if the deco mesh is lined with silver and the hat is shiny. Great to put on any American door.

17. If you want to use organic materials, this patriotic pine cone wreath is for you.

Well, if you live near an evergreen forest, then the pinecones should be easy to find. If not, there’s always the craft stores. But this wreath is simply stunning.

18. Even flag stands should have stars and stripes on them.

After all, flags need something to stand on besides the ground. Yet, you can always fit a star or 2 on the blue.

19. A 4th of July wreath should always have stars and stripe ribbons.

Though you can also add lace as a finishing touch. Also like the white lace. Very classy.

20. Wooden stars on sticks always belong in a flower pot bouquet.

Includes some red, white, and blue stars as well as a large American flag one. Love it.

21. Celebrate your love for America with these wooden blocks spelling the US of A.

Consists of a blue U, a red S, and an American flag decorated A. Bet the A stands for America and therefore, has to be the fanciest.

22. On this panel, it’s “God Bless America.”

And it’s all painted in the classic red, white, and blue. Great for any American house or porch.

23. No woman should be in the kitchen without this star spangled apron.

I had a few of these aprons on last year’s craft post. But this one mostly consists of navy blue with white stars.

24. Any all-American house should have a set of all-American firecrackers.

Okay, these are made from wood and don’t actually explode. But they all have star spangled designs you can’t resist.

25. How about a star-spangled address block to mark your house?

This one uses tiles of red, white, and blue to give a stars and stripes look. Wonderful for any American garden.

26. Nothing expresses the American spirit like a star spangled wreath of tulle.

Unlike the tulle wreath in last year’s post, it has more stars and more stripes. Also like how it looks on the door.

27. Celebrate the 4th of July in your home with these star-spangled shutters.

Well, they’re recycled shutters. But they’re both painted with stripes and a unique star design on top.

28. Red, white, and blue stars should always stick together.

So you have to tie these up with a burlap and rag ribbon. Still, I’m sure they’re all different sizes.

29. How about a wreath with more stripes and a few stars?

Not sure if the blue on here consists of feathers. But it’s rather an interesting design to have on your door.

30. As we all know, liberty is what Americans hold most sacred.

It even lights up and has an American flag. Yet, the panel of “Liberty” outshines all.

31. Hope you’re fine with 2 flags in one basket.

This one has some berries in it as well. Like the stars on it. So quaint.

32. Perhaps a wall hanging of stars with rag stripes will do.

Well, the stars aren’t in a neat in tidy shape. But they don’t necessarily have to be. After all, it’s the motifs that count.

33. Now your kids can enjoy their 4th of July with star studded chalk.

Available in only red, white, and blue. Because those are the colors of the American flag.

34. Curl up on the couch this 4th of July with this star spangled pillow.

This one has the blue star pattern as star on a striped background. Looks best next to the one with the bow.

35. 1776 should always be enshrined on a berry branch wreath.

Of course, the year itself should be framed amongst a copy of the Declaration of Independence. Just for good measure.

36. A red, white, and blue wreath of yarn is just as nice.

But the wreath appears purple because the strands appear so intertwined. Still, like the red, white, and blue flowers.

37. Care to honor America with flowers?

And as you see, the flowers are red. But you have to adore the fancy ribbons and stars.

38. Step out of your home this 4th of July with a pair of patriotic tennis shoes.

Though the shoes don’t really seem to match. But they have the same stars and stripe patterns if only in different places.

39. Let freedom ring with this American flag wind chime.

It’s mostly made of metal with a small plate of stars. But it’ll sure let freedom sing with the wind.

40. Make your 4th of July barbecue guests feel welcome with this burlap wreath.

This one uses a rather simple design with one star tied to the side. But I’m sure many will want this on their door.

41. These wooden firecrackers can use a few stars on them.

Well, at least the red and blue ones. The white one just gets nothing. Even has a tag saying, “USA.”

42. For a table centerpiece, place some flowers in some star spangled bricks.

This looks easy, assuming that the flowers are fake. Comes with a single blue brick with a white star.

43. Grace your home with this old-fashioned American flag dress display.

Keep in mind, this is a dress meant for decoration. Not for wearing. Still, like the golden stars and flag.

44. Perhaps a flower wreath should come with stars and ribbons.

Well, it may not look like the flower wreath I had on my craft post last year. But it certainly evokes 4th of July fun.

45. Nothing makes your 4th of July worthwhile than a red, white, and blue birdhouse.

Helps if it has a place to put your flower pots. Each birdhouse comes with a stand of the same red, white, and blue configuration.

46. Light up your 4th of July with these mason jar candle holders.

These consist of mason jars filled with different colors of art sand. And each one is tied with a red and white striped bow.

47. Want your fireworks to sparkle and shine? Get some red, white, and blue sequins.

Well, sequin discs you use in craft projects in art class. Still, you can make plenty of patterns with them on these wooden firecrackers.

48. Get yourself clean the American way with some stars and stripes soap.

Okay, most Americans use regular soap. But this is a 4th of July post. So American themed soap is shown here.

49. If you don’t have stars, buttons will do fine.

Well, buttons are just as good as stars for a wreath like this. Kind of gives this rag wreath a certain character.

50. A stars and stripes flower pot is great for a 4th of July bouquet.

Even if they have to consist of red, white, and blue carnations. Yet, it also includes shiny stars for patriotic emphasis.

51. If you love “America the Beautiful,” then you’ll like this wooden panel.

Though to be fair, the song was written by a lesbian who had a partner for 25 years. Bet they didn’t teach you that in history class.

52. If you don’t like wreath, then show your American pride with this American flag star.

Even has some patriotic ribbons to go along with it. Kind of has a whimsical shape to it.

53. Got any corks? Make a flag from them to hang.

I suppose most of these come from a craft store. Or at least I hope they come from one. Still, like the silver stars on it.

54. Nothing says you’re love for America than a shadowbox of paper flowers.

Well, paper flowers configured into an American flag, of course. Sure it has 9 stars but it’s the impression that counts.

55. This dresser is a must have for any American woman.

This one has an American flag painted on it. Hope whoever made this can get used to it all year round.

56. As you can see, this only sings the song of liberty.

Yes, it’s another patriotic wind chime. But it has the blue and stars on top.

57. There’s nothing more patriotic than an American flag made from shotgun shells.

Well, according to some NRA members. But as someone who doesn’t like guns, I beg to differ.

58. With this chair, you can find the Star-Spangled Banner at your seat.

Though many might view sitting on the American flag as desecration. Yet, most Americans would probably buy this anyway.

59. Never thought I’d see a metal flag before.

It’s even on a wavy metal sheet to resemble the American flag flying freely. Great to hang in any American home.

60. You’d almost think the flag was waving in this frame.

It’s actually an old shutter painted as the American flag. But you probably wouldn’t notice that.

61. Perhaps a 4th of July bandanna wreath would suit you.

Though keep in mind, bandanas often have some bad connotations to them since they’ve been banned by school dress codes. Still, you have to admire the stars on this.

62. Cinder block planters always shine in red, white, and blue.

Though they’re also heavy to lift as well. Might want to stick to wood or plastic instead.

63. Sometimes a simple decoration can say it best.

This is just a simple white yarn wreath with blue stars and American flag bows. So simple yet so lovely.

64. Every American couch should have a stars and stripes pillow.

Didn’t know they had a red pattern with white stars. Still, I’ve seen similar ones with different configurations.

65. Celebrate your 4th of July with some American flag china.

These may not be actual crafts. But they’ll sure be perfect for your Independence Day barbecue.

66. May this patriotic mason jar be a beacon of liberty in your home.

It even has a light to illuminate your party during the fireworks. Doesn’t seem quite hard to make.

67. This glass apothecary jar is filled with some of the finest American kidney beans.

As to how they managed to find red, white, and blue ones is a mystery to me. Oh, wait, they used black ones for the blue.

68. No little girl should celebrate the 4th without wearing an American flag dress.

Well, that’s a cute little dress. And it’s sure to make any girl a star-spangled darling.

69. A rustic wreath should have a flag and star.

It also has burlap and a berry wreath around the white star. Love it.

70. A rag wreath like this on the 4th of July is as good as any.

This one seems to have mostly red with white polka dots. But it’s just as patriotic nonetheless.

71. Perhaps you might want to stick a bunch of flags in one basket.

Well, you see a lot of American flag displays like this one. But I’m not sure if that’s overdoing it.

72. These star spangled flower pots make perfect patriotic planters.

These have stripes on the brim and stars on the pot. At any rate, they tend to be stacked together for height.

73. Nothing makes a 4th of July barbecue like a star spangled chair.

This one has a star back and a striped bottom. Hope it goes with a set and a table to match.

74. A 4th of July table should be star studded along the border.

And as a matter of fact, this one definitely is. Love it. So pretty.

75. A navy blue star is always stellar on a striped canvas.

Well, it may not look like the flag. But it’s in red, white, and blue just the same.

76. A glass block of the American flag is always stunning in beads.

This one uses shiny pears as stars. Nevertheless, I adore it and wonder if it lights up.

77.  By painting an American flag, you can turn a crate into a planter.

Just has a few stripes and 9 stars. But as long as it resembles a flag, I’ll take it.

78. Wooden firecrackers should always come with wooden stars.

Each of these has red white and blue to show for it. Yes, I’ve shown several of these but they’re popular 4th of July decorations.

79. A pallet doesn’t always have to resemble an American flag.

But as long as it has the basic stars and stripes, it can work. Wouldn’t mind hanging this on my wall.

80. These star-spangled firecrackers make for a spectacular 4th of July display.

One has stripes. One has stars. And one has both stars and stripes. But all have rope wicks.

81. Looks like these fireworks bring a lot of explosive fun.

This one has shiny stuff coming out of it and patriotic bows. And all on a red wood platform.

82. Let your clothes dry this Fourth of July with these American flag clothes pins.

Yes, these exist. And they just require you painting an American flag on them. Though that might be hard to pull off.

83. It’s always anchors away with this maritime wreath.

Has an anchor at the center and American flags on the sides. And the wreath is covered with rope.

84. There’s nothing more American to carry around with you than an American flag tote bag.

It’s just a tote bag with stars and stripes painted on there. Pretty ingenious if you think about it.

85. No woman can be in her 4th of July best without these star-spangled earrings.

These are probably not meant for my ears. But they’ll surely go well with any red, white, and blue outfit.

86. Show your love for America this 4th of July with this set of wooden blocks.

Consists of a map of the US, the 4th, fireworks, stripes, and a star. Looks great on any American mantle.

87. This patriotic kitty can always make America proud.

Well, is an amigurumi kitty. And she’s even waving an American flag. So cute.

88. With smaller flower pots, you can make some spectacular candle holders.

Well, they’re small pots so the candles can fit in them. But they sure consist of stellar designs.

89. If you don’t have a real flag, a ribbon one will do.

This one has a felt union with sequin stars and ribbon and lace stripes. Great project for those with scraps.

90. You surely can’t be without these flower pots at your 4th of July barbecue.

Each one is designated for forks, knives, and spoons. And each is in a patriotic motif.

91. All these firecrackers need is an American flag.

They’re also on a white wooden platform. Each one has stripes and a star on top.

92. With enough of the right burlap scraps you can make an American flag wreath pin.

Also, has buttons for stars. Kind of nifty idea. Wonder what this will go with.

93. You can even have an American flag on a basket.

Now that’s a funny way to show patriotism. Then again, I kind of prefer the flags be in the basket than on one.

94. Light up your 4th of July with this American flag candle log.

You can put a bunch of candles on it. It’s also painted with stars and stripes.

95. You can’t do wrong hanging red, white, and blue stars.

These are quite stunning. And once you cut out the stars, it’s easy to make.

96. A red, white, and blue star is pure patriotic splendor.

It’s made from wood which is mostly red and white. And it has a blue bar of stars. So lovely.

97. You’d see sparks coming from these dowel fireworks.

Well, the sparks seem to consist of yellow stars. But the blue gingham ribbon ties them all together.

98. Red and white flowers make for a simple 4th of July wreath.

Well, simpler than some of the other wreaths with flowers. Love the navy blue bow.

99. This American flag quilt is a real patchwork.

It’s an especially perfect American quilt for a patchwork nation. Because the US is a nation of diversity. Anyone who doesn’t believe that should get their racist head out of their ass.

100. Drape your American couch with this quality 4th of July quilt.

This is a quality quilt that seemed to win a prize. Anyway, it has an eagle with flag shield. Love it.

The High Strung World of Beadwork

beadwork

Since the very advent of modern humans, people have strung beads for ornamentation mostly for jewelry and other personal adornments as well as wall hangings, embroidered decoration, and even sculpture. Yet, they’ve also been used for religious purposes, good luck charms, curative agents, and for trade. Since they’re usually made from a variety of durable materials from all shapes, sizes, designs, and colors, they often survive in the archaeological record. Almost every culture in the world has their own form of beadwork with Native American styles being among the most well-known. Though to be fair, Native American beadwork as we know it didn’t develop until the Europeans introduced glass beads. A lot of African and Pacific Island cultures are identified with using beadwork as well. Today modern beadwork is often seen as a creative hobby to create jewelry, purses, coasters, and dozens of other crafts which can range in varying levels of difficulty and specialization. Nevertheless, you’d find plenty of bead crafts on Pinterest which can be quite elaborate and beyond a normal beader’s expertise. So for your reading pleasure, I give you a treasure trove of all the things people have done with beads.

  1. You can create a pretty picture with shiny Mardi Gras beads.

Though Mardi Gras beads normally come in gold, green, and purple. But the flower is certainly stunning.

2. A white beaded peacock always makes an impression.

There’s a whole range of these kind of birds on Pinterest from Eastern Europe. Still, it’s lovely.

3. It would be wise to go with an owl pendant.

Apparently, birds are a common motif. But I love how the pearl beads on this one.

4. Didn’t know you could uses beads on baskets.

Then again, it’s standard practice in a lot of places in Africa. Nevertheless, it’s quite an elaborate piece.

5. Strung pearls will certainly enhance any pocket watch.

Yes, it’s a watch cover. Or maybe it’s a purse cover since most of us don’t use pocket watches anymore. Either way, doesn’t seem to come cheap.

6. There’s nothing more chic than Ancient Egyptian style scarab necklace.

Yes, scarabs did have a sacred place in Ancient Egypt. But Ancient Egyptians usually wore beaded collars instead of necklaces as far as I know.

7. This beaded dragon pin can fit in the palm of your hand.

Yes, you can create cool dragons with beads. This little guy may be tiny. But it is fierce.

8. With enough beads and artisty, you can create a flowery tapestry.

Flowers are another common motif in beadwork as you can see in this embroidered masterpiece. And yes, you’ll see more of these displays.

9. Beaded animals can come in a variety of patterns.

I bet these are probably African but I’m not so sure. Because you can’t always tell by the pattern.

10. Light beads seem to have a certain elegance on necklaces.

Still, I’ve seen a lot of elaborate bead necklaces a normal person wouldn’t wear. But this one is quite modest and is not among them.

11. You’d almost mistake this beaded iris for the real thing.

Actually not. But it certainly bears a very close resemblance to one. And certainly fits well in a vase.

12. There’s no better beaded flower to adorn yourself with than a purple rose.

These are lovely. Though I’m not sure whether I’d want to wear these if I had them.

13. Never thought I’d see a beaded car before.

This one makes a lot of hippie Volkswagen Beetles look plain by comparison. But it’s in the Huichol style from Mexico.

14. It should go without saying to use beads for wind chimes and other garden decoration.

These beads dangle like they’re bright stones in the sky. Must be dazzling on sunny days.

15. Now that’s a weird looking bird statue.

Yes, this one has an owl body and a doll head. Don’t ask me why someone created this. Because I have no idea.

16. Black and white flowers could never be better intertwined.

Even their stems and leaves are in such respective colors. Love the gold on the petals.

17. This beaded tidal wave is a magnificent sight to see.

You’d almost swear it’s a painting. Love how the beads shine in this. So pretty.

18. Nothing looks better in your home than a beaded pink orchid.

And you don’t have to worry about watering it. Nor would you have to worry about throwing it out after some time.

19. You can’t resist this funky owl.

Yes, this beaded owl sure seems out of a psychedelic acid trip. But it’s certainly a hoot.

20. Sometimes natural rock beads make great jewelry pendants.

Though I’d prefer a more symmetrical design. But this set looks quite cool. Though I’d never buy it.

21. Light green beads have a certain shimmering quality.

Light green isn’t a favorite color of mine. In fact, far from it. But this necklace is quite stunning.

22. A beaded dragonfly can have as many stones as you want.

There seems to be a lot of turquoise here. Much fancier than I could see in a normal dragonfly.

23. Never have a come across an old fashioned camera in funky colors.

The camera is a brownie box which was among the first user friendly cameras of its day. But the beaded colors are awesome here.

24. I’m sure you can’t hold water in a beaded vase.

Then again, it’s most likely for decoration anyway. So make sure you put beaded flowers in it to match.

25. With the right color configuration, beaded jewelry can make a lasting impression.

I guess this is in the peacock motif. Love the dazzling blue beads near the pendants.

26. What the hell is that thing with the penguin?

I don’t have the slightest idea. But this is certainly a captivating scene to me.

27. How about a necklace in a Celtic design?

Well, it certainly has a Celtic look to it. But whether my ancestors wore something like this or not is a mystery.

28. Seems like this sink is full of dishes.

Actually it’s more of a beaded display. But you’d almost think it was in your house, would you?

29. Cameos always make fine centers on a distinguished necklace.

Well, this necklace is fancy. Love the beads on this. So beautiful. Love it.

30. This pin almost resembles a medal.

Well, if it wasn’t made of beads, that is. But it’s a nice one to put on the collar or coat.

31. There’s nothing about this little bird pin you can’t resist.

I’m sure a sweet little bird would go quite well on your shirt. So adorable.

32. A long necklace pendant can certainly dazzle.

Love the jewels on this one, especially if they’re purple. Though might weigh someone down if worn.

33. A pendant should always match the string.

This necklace has a bright green beaded pendant. Not sure what style it is, but it’s not bad.

34. A beaded fish appears magical in a beaded ocean.

Well, ocean motifs have to be quite common in beadwork. But this looks especially stunning.

35. You’d almost think a pearl was in this beaded shell.

Well, it kind of is. But it has a spectacular shiny shell to matched lined with gold. Lovely.

36. Complete a peacock look with this necklace.

But understand that the feather top can dangle. But it’s rather impressive.

37. I’m sure this beaded serpent can fit around your wrist.

Well, it certainly looks kind of cool. But I think wearing it can weigh you down. Still, looks fierce.

38. You’d certainly want to find this beaded blue moth in your jewelry box.

Yes, it’s a moth because it’s fuzzy and has a elongated wingspan. But it’s prettier than a live one.

39. Never thought I’d see a funky doll like this.

She has a beaded body of many designs and hair of 3 different colors. Not sure what I’d think if I ran into her.

40. You’d almost think this necklace is leafy green.

Almost seems like something you’d see an Elf wearing in Lord of the Rings. Yet, it has a rather nature fantasy ring to it.

41. How about a peacock around your neck?

Well, the peacock necklace is rather original. And it doesn’t hurt that it’s part of a set.

42. If you want style, then this purple beaded necklace can suit your fancy.

Wouldn’t mind wearing this. Love the purple with the gold. Not sure about the green jewel pendant.

43. Beaded flowers always look stunning on any embroidered tapestry.

Though this is more of the table runner variety than the last one I showed. But the flowers are nonetheless lovely.

44. These pearls fit like peas in these gold pods.

Though the pods are also made from beads. Still, not really my cup of tea but the design is clever.

45. An aquamarine pin always stuns on any occasion.

This is in a leaf shape with a jewel. But you can’t help but adore it. So pretty.

46. You can’t take your eyes on this floral purse.

Well, this one is as flowery as it’s fancy. Love the flowers on it. Though wouldn’t want to carry that around with me.

47. Speaking of flowers, get a load on this floral necklace.

Though I don’t really care for the light green leaves. But the flowers on this are simply beautiful.

48. You’d never this was of a beaded lily pond.

But yes, it’s an artistic rendition of a lily pond made of beads. Though I’d understand if you think it’s a painting.

49. This beaded Asian temple tapestry almost brings you to another world.

Not sure if it’s supposed to be Chinese or from any other East Asian nation. But it certainly has an Asian feel.

50. Wonder who this beaded lady is supposed to be.

Seems like she’s a superhero of some sort. Yet, I’m not sure who. But she’s definitely not Wonder Woman.

51. Behold the beaded bear claw on this necklace.

This is in a Native American style. Yet, it also uses all the colors of the rainbow.

52. You’ll always look chic wearing a purple beaded shawl.

Though I guess it’s only for personal adornment. So beautiful. Love it.

53. Here we come to a dazzling dragon guarding her eggs.

Keep in mind that in folklore, female dragons are always more dangerous than the males. This is especially the case when she has eggs or young.

54. You’d almost think this pink beaded tree has come to spring blossom.

Reminds me of a tree you’d see from Dr. Seuss. Though I saw a lot of beaded trees on Pinterest.

55. A fancy purse should have a bright floral design.

Of course, this purse wouldn’t come cheap if you saw it at the mall. But I love the fancy design.

56. This beaded book cover leaves much to the imagination.

Who’s going to bet that the cover depicts what the book is actually about? Best you not judge by the cover.

57. There’s nothing more resplendent than a beaded headdress with peacock feathers.

This one appears to be made for a queen. Love the beautiful beadwork. So stunning.

58. A small beaded purple bird is one you never forget.

Well, it’s not all beaded. Yet, you have to admire the wings and tail feathers.

59. There’s something slitheringly stylish about this cobra necklace.

Another Ancient Egyptian style necklace. Not period true, but I do love the dangling beads on the edge.

60. Perhaps you might want to dry this dangling bead outfit?

Seems like something you’d see in a Victoria’s Secret fashion show. Lovely but not something most people would wear.

61. A bejeweled necklace is an adornment of unique elegance.

Well, this is dazzling. Such a lovely design with so many color jewels. Pretty.

62. Sometimes a simple bracelet can do the trick.

This beaded bracelet has purple jewels and beads to match. And it’s all lined with gold.

63. When working with large stone beads, perhaps some smaller ones can fill in the details.

This one seems like you’d wear it for a party. But the large blue stones and the gold bead leaves make a wonderful combination.

64. Bet you never came across a flower basket like this before.

Well, the flowers and butterfly are made from beads. So you don’t have to worry about them wilting or flying away.

65. You can never have enough jewels on a beaded necklace like this.

You’d think to wear this one at a fancy dress ball. Has a certain elegance to it. But might weigh you down.

66. Wearing this dragon necklace might let you enter in a blaze of fire.

Helps if it has a yellow jewel encrusted as its belly. Love how it spreads its wings.

67. A beaded Blue Heron can look magnificent in the sky.

After all, with beads and wires, who knows what you can make. So lovely.

68. For more formal occasions, you might want to wear this necklace.

This one has a lot of beads dripping and pendant down to the stomach. Beautiful but not something I might want to wear.

69. Grace your home with this floral beaded vase.

Perhaps a floral motif is rather fitting. The color scheme on this one isn’t that bad either.

70. This beaded necklace is certainly seaworthy.

It has a turquoise shell in the front. Yet, I have to admit it can use a few pearls.

71. For the spring, you might want to wear this blue butterfly necklace.

Now this is quite dazzling. Love the wings spread out. So pretty.

72. Didn’t know that a weeping willow sprouted pink flowers.

I don’t think it does. And I don’t think it’s a willow. But it’s sure stunning to behold.

73. This scarab necklace is certainly festive.

Not sure if it’s Ancient Egyptian in style. But I’m sure it can be seen for miles.

74. A dragon fly pin should shimmer in vivid color.

Well, it certainly gives an impression. Love the wings. So pretty.

75. How about a beaded birch in autumn?

It’s a birch tree all right. And I guess the beaded leaves are a yellowish brown. More naturalistic than the pink trees though.

76. If you’re not a pink tree fan, perhaps try blue.

Yes, this a blue bead tree. Not sure what’s supposed to be specifically. But goes nicely with the pink ones.

77. A black and white beaded butterfly pin has a certain elegance.

Well, black and white stones, anyway. Still, wouldn’t mind wearing this on my coat.

78. There’s something twisted about this necklace.

Okay, it has a braided pendant design with the beads embroidered. But it can be particularly stunning if you ask me.

79. Perhaps you’d want a necklace reminding you of the night sky.

Well, it’s quite lovely in its own way. So I guess the tassel beads are the tree roots. Or are they the night sky.

80. Now that is one funky bird.

Not sure what that bird is supposed to be. But it sure leaves a colorful impression you won’t forget.

81. For emphasis, this red pin will do.

Resembles a jewel you might find at some royal ball. Almost seems like it costs a fortune.

82. A square purse should always be richly decorated.

Now that is a sensational purse. Love how it’s embroidered on purple. Wouldn’t mind having this.

83. How about a forest scene near the ocean?

Didn’t know you could find beadwork like this. Reminds me of a painting.

84. A necklace like this will make you as pretty as a peacock.

Yes, it’s a sensational peacock necklace. But it’s quite elaborate compared to the other ones I’ve shown. So pretty.

85. Wonder what the hell’s on that polar bear.

Think it’s supposed to depict a Native American story. Judging that it’s a polar bear, I’d say it pertains to a tribe in Alaska or Canada.

86. This dragonfly pin is set to stun.

And it has very fancy wings and tail. Love the purple jewel on it, too.

87. You’d swear this came from a medieval tapestry.

Well, they did do beaded tapestries in the Middle Ages. But this is a style rendition, not the real thing.

88. A bejeweled seashell dazzles on the shore.

Unlike the last beach necklace, this one even has pearls. Love it.

89. If you want to see a colorful deer, try this on for size.

Though don’t bet on finding deer like that in Mexico. At least outside some store. Still, very stunning.

90. If you want an elaborate collar necklace, suppose this can suit your fancy.

Well, certainly has a rather modernist style. Like the colors on it though.

91. This blue purse can really go with a beautiful ocean tide.

Well, it certainly has an elaborate design on it. Very pretty and very ornate.

92. You’d almost think you saw this necklace in a jewelry store.

Then again, it’s certainly the work of a skilled beader. Love the pearls on this though.

93. This beaded lamp post picture really lets the light in.

It uses golden beads as light in a dark background. Still, wouldn’t mind having this.

94. May the sun always shine upon you during your days.

And the sun here seems to have a face. Anyway, love the brilliant blue sky.

95. You can always stun in this black and white necklace.

Well, this is more of a necklace like one of the peacock ones. At any rate, it’s simply gorgeous.

96. There’s something really eye catching about this snake.

Also, holds an apple in its mouth. Though most snakes are carnivores. Then again, rule of symbolism is probably involved.

97. A necklace like this can simply shimmer with purple stones.

Man, I love purple. Wouldn’t mind wearing this. But it would weigh me down. So pretty.

98. A basket of pansies will certainly brighten your day.

Yes, it’s another flower basket. But I kind of like this one better. Perhaps it’s because the flowers are more ornate.

99. Shiny beads make a wondrous carousel scene.

You can’t resist imagery like this. Love the beautiful gold on the trim. So pretty.

100. I’m sure this flower basket will add some color to your life year round.

Yes, beaded flowers are wonderful. And you can’t help but love these. So pretty.

The Fastened World of Button Craft

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Whether to fasten your clothing or just to make you look sharp, buttons have been made from almost every possible material imaginable. In 1918, the US government made an extensive survey on the international button market listing buttons made of vegetable ivory, metal, glass, galalith, silk, linen, cotton-covered crochet, lead, snap fasteners, glass, enamel, rubber, buckhorn, wood, horn, bone, leather, paper, pressed cardboard, mother-of-pearl, celluloid, porcelain, composition, tin, zinc, xylonite, stone, cloth-covered wooden forms, and papier-mâché. And they’ve been on almost every article of clothing imaginable like shirts, dresses, pants, shoes, jackets, coats, skirts, and even bags, wallets, and purses if you can count the last two. Also, they’ve been around a very long time in history as buttons and button type fasteners have been found in the Indus Valley Civilization, Bronze Age China, and Ancient Rome. But the functional buttons we know today were invented in 13th century Germany. As we all know, buttons can fall off or get lost from time to time. Then there are people who have so many loose buttons that they’re not sure what to do with them. Nevertheless, you’ll find buttons used on Pinterest for almost every known craft project imaginable. Some buttons are used to create pictures. Some to decorate lamps and furniture. However the case, here I bring you an assortment of them for your own reading pleasure.

  1. This buttoned family appears well fastened.

    Well, it’s a familial display like a stick figure family on one’s car. And this one has a bunch of boys.A buttoned garden should have all kinds of flowers.

    2. A buttoned garden should of all kinds of flowers.

Here we have buttoned flowers of all shapes and sizes. Though none seem to have leaves.

3. A buttoned tree is perfect for two lovebirds on as spring.

Though a swing won’t make an adequate nest. Also, it seems like autumn. Shouldn’t these two be flying south?

4. For a tractor, nothing runs like a Deere.

Because a Deere is one of the most recognizable tractors around. But have you ever seen a button version? I think not.

5. A salt shaker makes an excellent fastened bouquet.

I see this one is for a wedding. But you have to admire how these match the pearls.

6. You should see the kind of leaves you’ll find on a buttoned tree.

While most trees have green leaves, this one has leaves of all kinds. Because why not?

7. This button couple is very attached to one another.

Of course, these button sculptures wouldn’t be possible with wires to make them 3 dimensional. Still, I prefer the button pictures anyway.

8. Buttoned flowers look splendid in a vase.

These flowers even have their own petals of various designs. So lovely.

9. Anyone in Paris has to enjoy a buttoned Eiffel Tower.

Because the Eiffel Tower is pretty much the symbol of Paris, France. But they also have other famous landmarks, too.

10. A rainbow of buttons can always give you a smile on a rainy day.

But I’m sure most of these buttons come from a craft store. But it’s still quite beautiful.

11. The most pearly buttons should always be used for a crescent moon.

Well, it’s not exactly a pearly moon. But you have to admire the crescent shape and the stars.

12. A rooster always has to have a well fastened look.

Though you don’t always need to use flashy buttons on it. Still, great for a rustic farm setting.

13. For cloth napkins, may I suggest some well attached fruit decoration?

Well, these napkins don’t use as many buttons. But the concept is quite clever.

14. A painted Christmas tree can be resplendent with button ornaments.

You’d almost think they were painted on. But you’d be wrong. Still, it’s beautiful.

15. With button designs, it doesn’t matter what cloth you use.

Almost makes you think it’s a nebula. But it can be based on some acid trip for all you know.

16. A buttoned cat is always well-fastened.

Though this one uses buttons of all kinds of brown and black. So it’s not exactly a black cat.

17. For you pirate-minded folks, this buttoned skull and crossbones should suit your fancy.

Yes, the buttons may not be all of one size. But at least it bears a good resemblance.

18. Hope you appreciate some flowers from this dinosaur.

Guess this is for a little kid’s room. Yet, not sure how a dino can hold things with its tail. Then again, dinosaurs have been extinct for 65 million years.

19. If you liked The Very Hungry Caterpillar, then you’ll love this button picture.

Well, it’s a classic children’s book about a caterpillar that eats a lot. Still, the illustration is iconic.

20. For you maritime fans, may this one send you anchors away.

Seems easy to configure and uses all one color. But best if it’s sewn on white canvas.

21. Even unconventional buttons can have their own decorative value.

Never saw buttons like these before. Wonder if they were used solely for the pillow. Because that would make more sense.

22. Seems like this button tree has some degree of greenery.

Yes, but in various shades. Wonder if it’s a birch tree, too. Because the bark seems light.

23. For button flower leaves, may I suggest beads?

Though these don’t seem to be conventional flowers. Then again, it probably shouldn’t matter much.

24. Pastel buttons always go great on white tables.

Well, as long as the buttons are under a glass panel. But it’s lovely and adorable nonetheless.

25. There are plenty of buttons to make a rainbow heart.

Because who doesn’t love rainbows or heart? So pretty you can almost cry.

26. Speaking of rainbows, this circle of colors never seems to end.

Kind of reminds you of the Apple cursor spinner. Though I guess these were glued onto a paper.

27. This buttoned owl will surely give you a hoot.

After all, you have to admire its big eyes that seem all happy to see you. Nevertheless, this is certainly cute as a button.

28. Never thought I’d find a rainbow heart on a rock before.

Yes, it’s another rainbow heart. But this one has a different configuration and it’s on a rock.

29. This button tree has branches representing the 4 seasons.

Though no matter what season the tree is in, the branches seem quite bare to me. Also, the winter one isn’t suppose to have leaves.

30. This cardinal looks dignified perching on a branch.

Helps if its buttons are sewn on a burlap pillow. Perfect for rustic settings.

31. A buttoned bouquet should burst with vibrant color.

Yes, it’s another button flower bouquet. But this one has much more flowers together in a vase. Love it.

32. There’s nothing you can’t love about this metallic heart.

Well, it’s made from metallic buttons of all shapes and sizes. Yet, it certainly will go with any down home kitchen in the countryside.

33. Jasmine always shines in her sea green outfit.

By the way, there are quite of few Disney Princess button pictures you’ll see on this post. But I’m sure any Disney fan would adore it.

34. With pearl buttons you can decorate a wired heart.

Sure it might not look like much. But without the beautiful buttons, this wreath would be nothing.

35. All these cats are as cute as a button.

Actually they’re kind of freaking looking. But they’re made from buttons. So hence the pun.

36. Shakers make great vases for any kind of button bouquet.

They make great centerpieces, you don’t need to water them, and they never go bad you have to throw them out. And unlike some fake flowers, they don’t look tacky.

37. At a certain distance, you’d think this button tree was a painting.

Yes, I know I have a lot of button trees on here. But they’re a common motif. Also, this one has a whole set of leaves.

38. How about a tree with rainbow leaves?

Now that would be something I’d want to see. Unfortunately, trees don’t work that way. But you can always put rainbow buttons as leaves.

39. Button wildflowers look best in a field.

Almost thought these flowers were painted on. But they look fantastic.

40. Now that is a fantastic colored rooster.