Not Licensed By the NCAA College Athletic Craft Projects

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So I’m down with fan costumes and merchandise. Now it’s on to college sport craft projects. You might’ve noticed that unlike the NFL craft post, I didn’t include a picture of myself. Mostly because I don’t have any college sport craft projects so I decided to go with the college football fan map instead. I figured since college football season is soon to begin next week. And if I decide to go with a craft post during March Madness, I’ll use a basketball one. Anyway, you may not think that sports and crafts go together if you haven’t been on Pinterest or Etsy. Yet, even though more men like sports and women do crafts, understand that there are plenty of female sports fans out there as well a guys who do crafts. Then there are college athletes like famed Penn State football player Rosie Grier who later played for the LA Rams and took up needlepoint as a hobby. If you look on Pinterest, you’ll find a lot more sports team crafts on there than you can imagine. However, when it came to looking for craft projects in college sports, it’s a bit tricky. Along with the merchandise, I had to google names of several different colleges to find them. Because if you just type anything relating to college sports crafts, you’ll just end up finding stuff mostly from Alabama and LSU trust me. So for your reading pleasure, I give you a treasure trove of the unique craft projects of college sports. Most of the craft projects featured will be representative of Division I teams, naturally.

  1. Any Iowa Hawkeye fan would love to drink from this painted wine glass.
Of course, these glasses are never for drinking. But I'm sure Iowa fans would want one anyway.

Of course, these glasses are never for drinking. But I’m sure Iowa fans would want one anyway.

2. Tennessee Volunteer fans would definitely adore this football door hanging.

It's in orange and white with polka dot lines. But it's a rather charming football decoration.

It’s in orange and white with polka dot lines. But it’s a rather charming football decoration.

3. With an old window frame and tiles, you’ll have this Alabama Crimson Tide board.

You can even use it to write things down like a shopping list or Alabama's football record. This person uses chalk.

You can even use it to write things down like a shopping list or Alabama’s football record. This person uses chalk.

4. Any Mountaineers fan would surely envy anyone with this WVU quilt.

Sure it might not look like much. But it's sure to keep warm during cold evening games in Morgantown.

Sure it might not look like much. But it’s sure to keep warm during cold evening games in Morgantown.

5. Georgia Bulldog fans will definitely want a wreath like this for their front door.

Yes, it may seem quite fancy from what you'd expect from a college sports wreath. But fans are bound to love it.

Yes, it may seem quite fancy from what you’d expect from a college sports wreath. But fans are bound to love it.

6. This Iowa State wreath is all covered in ribbons.

Iowa State is the other Iowa university but the one you probably don't hear about. Unless you live in Iowa. However, its fanbase is mostly concentrated around Ames.

Iowa State is the other Iowa university but the one you probably don’t hear about. Unless you live in Iowa. However, its fanbase is mostly concentrated around Ames.

7. At this house marks Mountaineer country.

Yes, this is a WVU ribbon wreath. But I think the arrow really makes it work here.

Yes, this is a WVU ribbon wreath. But I think the arrow really makes it work here.

8. Anyone at Happy Valley will love these Penn State pillow cushions.

This is a fairly simple design with just "We Are Penn State." But it's effective.

This is a fairly simple design with just “We Are Penn State.” But it’s effective.

9. This WVU wreath will make a welcome addition to almost any West Virginia door.

Yes, it's another WVU wreath. But I really like this design and how the letter stand out that I had to put it in the post.

Yes, it’s another WVU wreath. But I really like this design and how the letter stand out that I had to put it in the post.

10. This UNC wreath is certainly a charm on any front door.

This one has white and silver berries as well as shiny ribbon. And the UNC letters are in a whimsical font.

This one has white and silver berries as well as shiny ribbon. And the UNC letters are in a whimsical font.

11. Any fan of the Buckeyes will want this Ohio State pallet on their wall.

It depicts the Ohio State logo with the state of Ohio. What Ohio State fan wouldn't want that?

It depicts the Ohio State logo with the state of Ohio. What Ohio State fan wouldn’t want that?

12. University of Washington Huskies fans might like to have these blocks on their mantle.

Sure each may have a decoration. But "Huskies" is in purple in order to really stand out. Adorable.

Sure each may have a decoration. But “Huskies” is in purple in order to really stand out. Adorable.

13. Sometimes at Ohio State, it’s best to aim for simplicity.

This Ohio State ribbon wreath does exactly that. Just the logo and flowers. That's it.

This Ohio State ribbon wreath does exactly that. Just the logo and flowers. That’s it.

14. When it counts, best to have Auburn University in big bright letters.

Yes, it might require electricity and somewhere to be plugged in. But you have to admit, it's a dazzling sight.

Yes, it might require electricity and somewhere to be plugged in. But you have to admit, it’s a dazzling sight.

15. Kansas State Wildcat fans might go with a simpler approach to their front door.

This purple yarn wreath only has KSU, a white flower, and a white ribbon. But it looks charming just the same.

This purple yarn wreath only has KSU, a white flower, and a white ribbon. But it looks charming just the same.

16. Even a Fightin’ Irish need some rest which this Notre Dame chair is well suited for.

This is a wooden chair painted with Notre Dame colors. And yes, the Fightin' Leprechaun is in the seat.

This is a wooden chair painted with Notre Dame colors. And yes, the Fightin’ Leprechaun is in the seat.

17. Any Oregon Duck fan will want to hang this decomesh wreath on their door.

This one has the Oregon University colors as well as a ribbon. Love the decorations on this.

This one has the Oregon University colors as well as two ribbons. Love the decorations on this.

18. Penn State will always remain with Nittany Lion fans forever.

Penn State fans seem to be that way for some reason, especially the alumni. Of course, my dad didn't care for Joe Pa he was a major reason why PSU didn't play Pitt for decades.

Penn State fans seem to be that way for some reason, especially the alumni. Of course, my dad didn’t care for Joe Pa he was a major reason why PSU didn’t play Pitt for decades.

19. For Purdue Boilermaker fans, this bottle lamp will light up a room.

Purdue is in Indiana. They're called the Boilermakers because of the railroad system. And their Boilermaker Special mascot is a nice, shiny train.

Purdue is in Indiana. They’re called the Boilermakers because of the railroad system. And their Boilermaker Special mascot is a nice, shiny train.

20. With old junk, you can make a charming Crimson Tide elephant.

This was made from old license plates and a shovel. I think it looks better than Alabama's real mascot.

This was made from old license plates and a shovel. I think it looks better than Alabama’s real mascot.

21. Longhorns fan should store their candy in this handy dispenser.

I've put a lot of these in various craft posts. But this seems to only require a flower pot and a fish bowl as far as I'm concerned.

I’ve put a lot of these in various craft posts. But this seems to only require a flower pot and a fish bowl as far as I’m concerned.

22. Iowa Hawkeye fans will want to cuddle with this Iowa pillow.

It's a pillow of the state of Iowa. And I guess the heart is where the University of Iowa is. Makes sense.

It’s a pillow of the state of Iowa. And I guess the heart is where the University of Iowa is. Makes sense.

23. This Alabama Crimson Tide wreath is great to hang anywhere.

This uses yarn and houndsooth ribbon as well as an "A" and flowers. Any Tide fan would want to roll with it.

This uses yarn and houndsooth ribbon as well as an “A” and flowers. Any Tide fan would want to roll with it.

24. Tell your Texas team to “Hook Em’ Horns” with this wreath.

Yes, it's a University of Texas decomesh wreath. No, I don't like the colors. But at least a Longhorn fan might enjoy it.

Yes, it’s a University of Texas decomesh wreath. No, I don’t like the colors. But at least a Longhorn fan might enjoy it.

25. A Michigan State Spartan fan must keep warm with a knitted hat like this.

It's a knitted Spartan hat. May not protect you in battle against the Persians. But will keep you warm in Michigan weather.

It’s a knitted Spartan hat. May not protect you in battle against the Persians. But will keep you warm in Michigan weather.

26. Any Auburn Tiger fan should have a floral wreath at their door.

Well, this is lovely. Love the ribbon and blue flowers. Gives a nice homey feel.

Well, this is lovely. Love the ribbon and blue flowers. Gives a nice homey feel.

27. For Gamecocks fans, this University of South Carolina wreath should suit your fancy.

If it wasn't for the darker red and the logo, I would've thought it was a Crimson Tide wreath. And yes, their team is called the Gamecocks. I did not make that up.

If it wasn’t for the darker red and the logo, I would’ve thought it was a Crimson Tide wreath. And yes, their team is called the Gamecocks. I did not make that up.

28. No Nittany Lion fan could ever resist this PSU wine glass.

Sure it's not as fancy as the Iowa wine glass. But it does have a certain charm to it. Like the ribbon.

Sure it’s not as fancy as the Iowa wine glass. But it does have a certain charm to it. Like the ribbon.

29. Light up the room at night with this wooden WVU lantern.

It's very simple but it's well painted with blue and yellow. Perfect for any Mountaineer fan.

It’s very simple but it’s well painted with blue and yellow. Perfect for any Mountaineer fan.

30. This yarn Michigan Wolverine wreath has an intricate floral design.

Guess it took a lot of time with the decorations. But it certainly looks lovely in front of the window.

Guess it took a lot of time with the decorations. But it certainly looks lovely in front of the window.

31. There’s nothing more quaint than a yarn Baylor wreath.

This wreath may use a green and yellow diamond pattern. But it's certainly a wonder to look at.

This wreath may use a green and yellow diamond pattern. But it’s certainly a wonder to look at.

32. Blue ribbons and baubles go great with a yellow WVU window frame.

That's very creative love the decor on this. Great to hang on the wall. Who knew West Virginians could be so creative?

Love the decor on this. Great to hang on the wall. Who knew West Virginians could be so creative?

33. This Notre Dame wreath will make a rustic addition to any Fightin’ Irish home.

Sure it might not be as showy as some of the wreaths. But I like the wooden panel as well as the ribbons on here.

Sure it might not be as showy as some of the wreaths. But I like the wooden panel as well as the ribbons on here.

34. This simple frame will satisfy any Crimson Tide fan.

It just has a lovely bow and "Bama." What more can a Tide fan want?

It just has a lovely bow and “Bama.” What more can a Tide fan want?

35. Auburn Tigers should carry their things in this bucket.

This is decorated in orange and navy blue polka dots. And it's lined with a striped orange ribbon.

This is decorated in orange and navy blue polka dots. And it’s lined with a striped orange ribbon.

36. This Nebraska Husker wreath is made of rather fine feathers.

Well, fake feathers, anyway. But you have to love how the decorated N really stands out.

Well, fake feathers, anyway. But you have to love how the decorated N really stands out.

37. Don’t worry this, LSU Tiger crab won’t hurt you.

Yes, it's a LSU crab and it's painted as a tiger for decorative purposes. I know what you're thinking but to me, it's cool.

Yes, it’s a LSU crab and it’s painted as a tiger for decorative purposes. I know what you’re thinking but to me, it’s cool.

38. Make your Spartan pride soar with this Michigan State bottle lamp.

I know it has an "S" on it. But it's representative of Michigan State. Don't ask me how that works.

I know it has an “S” on it. But it’s representative of Michigan State. Don’t ask me how that works.

39. Let the light in with this Michigan State Spartan suncatcher.

Of course, it's not really a craft project. But since some people do make their own suncatchers, I'll allow it.

Of course, it’s not really a craft project. But since some people do make their own suncatchers, I’ll allow it.

40. Georgia Southern Eagles fans should really enjoy a wreath like this.

I know the Georgia State Panthers isn't as popular as the Georgia Bulldogs. But I love GSU's color scheme.

I know the Georgia Southern Eagles aren’t as popular as the Georgia Bulldogs. But I love GSU’s color scheme.

41. Any Hawkeye fan could ever dream of having this Iowa table.

I think this was more of pet project and is probably not for sale. But I can see why they'd take pride in producing it.

I think this was more of pet project and is probably not for sale. But I can see why they’d take pride in producing it.

42. Any Wolverine fan would treasure this stained glass Michigan block.

This stained glass block is surely a gem. Like how the light shines through the blue and gold.

This stained glass block is surely a gem. Like how the light shines through the blue and gold.

43. A UCLA Bruins fan should keep their head snug with this crocheted cap.

Bruins are bears, by the way. Just so you didn't know that. Yet, the light blue and yellow go very well with the bear ears.

Bruins are bears, by the way. Just so you didn’t know that. Yet, the light blue and yellow go very well with the bear ears.

44. This striped LSU Tiger wreath certainly has character.

Yes, it may have a few flowers. But the real spirit in this wreath is in the purple and gold stripes.

Yes, it may have a few flowers. But the real spirit in this wreath is in the purple and gold stripes.

45. If your baby needs to rest on the go, this Mizzou cover will do quite nicely.

Well, that looks quite cute. Like the stripes on it. Very creative.

Well, that looks quite cute. Like the stripes on it. Very creative.

46. For Clemson Tiger fans, there’s nothing to hate about this wreath.

I think this person used letter tiles for this. Gives the wreath its whimsical charm.

I think this person used letter tiles for this. Gives the wreath its whimsical charm.

47. This Alabama Crimson Tide owl is certainly a hoot.

The owl is red with houndsooth wings. But fans will surely find it adorable.

The owl is red with houndsooth wings. But fans will surely find it adorable.

48. This Notre Dame bauble wreath will surely make the game a festive occasion.

The baubles may be made from glass and metal. But it's great for a Christmas decoration if the Fightin' Irish make the BCS Bowl series.

The baubles may be made from glass and metal. But it’s great for a Christmas decoration if the Fightin’ Irish make the BCS Bowl series.

49. Any FSU fan would envy anyone with a mosaic Seminole table.

Someone seems to have too much time on their hands to do this. But I do admire the craftsmanship.

Someone seems to have too much time on their hands to do this. But I do admire the craftsmanship.

50. Any Penn State football fan would adore these Nittany Lion nesting dolls.

Not sure who all these players are. But I do think these dolls are very well made.

Not sure who all these players are. But I do think these dolls are very well made. Lovely.

51. This LSU deco mesh wreath will make any game a party.

Sure it might not have any Mardi Gras beads. But it has tiger stripes on the letters so that's something.

Sure it might not have any Mardi Gras beads. But it has tiger stripes on the letters so that’s something.

52. A true Ohio State fan would certainly hang this buckeye wreath on their front door.

This is decorated with buckeye nuts and moss. Very fitting with the Ohio State spirit and very creative.

This is decorated with buckeye nuts and moss. Very fitting with the Ohio State spirit and very creative.

53. State College birds will rejoice with this Penn State birdhouse.

This one has a license plate over it. Not sure if it enhances the appeal. But Nittany Lion fans will enjoy it.

This one has a license plate over it. Not sure if it enhances the appeal. But Nittany Lion fans will enjoy it.

54. This glass window is sure to make any Georgia Bulldogs fan rejoice.

Yes, it's an old window that's decorated with Georgia Bulldog stuff. A must for any diehard fan.

Yes, it’s an old window that’s decorated with Georgia Bulldog stuff. A must for any diehard fan.

55. This little Ohio State lighthouse is sure to be a Buckeye delight.

This is a light that's made from flower pots. Like the lamp on the top as well as the painting.

This is a light that’s made from flower pots. Like the lamp on the top as well as the painting.

56. Nothing is more festive for a Notre Dame game than this Mardi Gras bead wreath.

An LSU one would've been more appropriate. But I really like this Notre Dame one for some reason. Perhaps blue and gold are a great combination.

An LSU one would’ve been more appropriate. But I really like this Notre Dame one for some reason. Perhaps blue and gold are a great combination.

57. This Iowa end table will go quite nicely at any Hawkeye home.

Has Iowa on all sides in wooden letters. And it's certainly well painted. Someone must have too much time on their hands.

Has Iowa on all sides in wooden letters. And it’s certainly well painted. Someone must have too much time on their hands.

58. Nittany Lions fans are bound to fawn over this Penn State wreath.

It's deco mesh with ribbons. But it also has a wooden Penn State panel in the center where it counts.

It’s deco mesh with ribbons. But it also has a wooden Penn State panel in the center where it counts.

59. These crocheted Purdue booties would be great for any little Boilermaker.

They even have Purdue ribbons along with the gold and black. So cute.

They even have Purdue ribbons along with the gold and black. So cute.

60. No little Mountaineer could resist this plush WVU rabbit.

Hell, this rabbit is so adorable that even parents might want it. Anyone WVU fan would want to cuddle with it. So cute.

Hell, this rabbit is so adorable that even parents might want it. Anyone WVU fan would want to cuddle with it. So cute.

61. Kick back and relax in these Michigan State Spartan lawn chairs.

They even come in a set with a Spartan head rest. Great for outdoor home tailgate parties.

They even come in a set with a Spartan head rest. Great for outdoor home tailgate parties.

62. Light up your Mountaineer nights with this WVU bottle light.

Seems to glow brighter than a couch fire in Morgantown. Love the blue ribbon.

Seems to glow brighter than a couch fire in Morgantown. Love the blue ribbon.

63. Any LSU Tiger fan could not resist these stained glass bottle lights.

Like how they have the purple paw prints with the LSU letters. Really brings out the light. Love these.

Like how they have the purple paw prints with the LSU letters. Really brings out the light. Love these.

64. Red and black go quite well with this wreath from Texas Tech.

Texas Tech University may not have team as popular as the Longhorns. But you have to admit, the Red Raiders have a great color scheme that works.

Texas Tech University may not have team as popular as the Longhorns. But you have to admit, the Red Raiders have a great color scheme that works.

65. This medal Auburn sign has the Tigers’ classic cry.

Not sure about the deal with "War Eagle!" is since their mascot is the Tiger. But I do love the ribbons and font on this.

Not sure about the deal with “War Eagle!” is since their mascot is the Tiger. But I do love the ribbons and font on this.

66. Wildcat fans would surely love to have this Kentucky rag wreath on their door.

Haven't had anything from the University of Kentucky on here yet. Still, this one has stripes as well as whimsical font to go with it.

Haven’t had anything from the University of Kentucky on here yet. Still, this one has stripes as well as whimsical font to go with it.

67. This fleur de lis door hanging will go well at any LSU Tiger house in Baton Rouge.

This one even has tiger stripe ribbons and purple deco mesh. Love it.

This one even has tiger stripe ribbons and purple deco mesh. Love it.

68. This Penn State wreath has a down home rustic charm.

Sure it might not use a lot of decorations. But the ribbon on the navy blue makes it so lovely.

Sure it might not use a lot of decorations. But the ribbon on the navy blue makes it so lovely.

69. This Michigan State quilt will keep any Spartan warm.

Like how they had a patchwork S. It's in green but has a certain charm to it if you ask me.

Like how they had a patchwork S. It’s in green but has a certain charm to it if you ask me.

70. Any child who loves the UCLA Bruins would want to cover up with this doll.

Well, it's not exactly a teddy bear. But it's adorable in a Tim Burtonesque sort of way. Cute.

Well, it’s not exactly a teddy bear. But it’s adorable in a Tim Burtonesque sort of way. Cute.

71. Keep warm during the Hawkeye game with this Iowa quilt.

Unlike some of the quilts I've seen, this one has a nice patchwork design. Like the Hawkeyes in the corners.

Unlike some of the quilts I’ve seen, this one has a nice patchwork design. Like the Hawkeyes in the corners.

72. As well all know, Notre Dame is the pride of old Indiana.

Of course, Notre Dame is perhaps the most interesting thing to come out of Indiana. But the gold logo looks really cool in the blue background.

Of course, Notre Dame is perhaps the most interesting thing to come out of Indiana. But the gold logo looks really cool in the blue background.

73. Ohio birds are sure to adore this Buckeye approved Ohio State birdhouse.

Yes, it may look like a small, wooden birdhouse. But the Ohio State logo surrounds the hole.

Yes, it may look like a small, wooden birdhouse. But the Ohio State logo surrounds the hole.

74. For a Texas A&M fan, this Aggie cross is a holy relic.

This is made of wood and has stripes on a panel. Yes, this is a Christian symbol but I'll allow it since it's a work of art.

This is made of wood and has stripes on a panel. Yes, this is a Christian symbol but I’ll allow it since it’s a work of art.

75. This WVU light post will lead you to Mountaineer country.

This lamp post might have blue arrows leading to where you need to go. Is quite quaint on any lawn. Love it.

This lamp post might have blue arrows leading to where you need to go. Is quite quaint on any lawn. Love it.

76. Black and red flowers go great on any Georgia Bulldog wreath.

For a team with a rather intimidating mascot, this is a very beautiful wreath. I'm sure any fan would enjoy this in their home.

For a team with a rather intimidating mascot, this is a very beautiful wreath. I’m sure any fan would enjoy this in their home.

77. Perhaps a Florida Gators fan can go with a more floral look.

The flowers may be fake in this but they're certainly lovely. Doesn't hurt if the gator is in the center.

The flowers may be fake in this but they’re certainly lovely. Doesn’t hurt if the gator is in the center.

78. Grace your front door with this Notre Dame wreath in full Fightin’ Irish glory.

Love how the gold logo stands out from the blue. Wouldn't mind having this at my door. Not sure if I'd want a Notre Dame one though.

Love how the gold logo stands out from the blue. Wouldn’t mind having this at my door. Not sure if I’d want a Notre Dame one though.

79. Mizzou Tiger fans can’t resist this wreath.

This is a gold wreath with a black Mizzou ribbon. Very well done, according to some fans.

This is a gold wreath with a black Mizzou ribbon. Very well done, according to what some fans may say.

80. No Seminole can’t resist this FSU flower pot football player.

Yes, this is an FSU flower pot person who's made from flower pots. And yes, it's certainly adorable.

Yes, this is an FSU flower pot person who’s made from flower pots. And yes, it’s certainly adorable.

NCAA College Athlete Exploiting Merchandise

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Here am I in my University of Florida Gator snuggie I received from an uncle of mine who lives in Panama City, Florida. Sure it’s not appropriate for summer weather. So I only wore it for the photo. Then again, considering that the University of Florida doesn’t have a lot of cold weather, this Gator snuggie is perfect for my opening post picture.

As I said before, college sports is a huge business in the United States despite that practically all college athletes don’t get paid in any tangible currency. Sure they’re supposed to receive an education from the school. But plenty barely have any time for that, particularly if they’re Division I. Nevertheless, since college sports are incredibly popular, it should surprise nobody that you’ll find a lot of college sports crap if you look hard enough. Yes, I know that colleges make money from ticket sales, tuition payments, contributions, and the like. But as long as there are people willing to buy overpriced crap, they might as well reap in the benefits. Besides, in college sports, it’s usually the brand that’s more important than the players since they’re only in the programs for up to 4 years before graduation anyway. Hell, some don’t even graduate if they become eligible for the pros (despite that this doesn’t happen very often. And when it does, there’s a strong chance they may not be nearly the star player they once were in their college days. Just ask Heisman winner Tim Tebow). Nevertheless, I can go along with showing you all the jerseys and other items they sell. But you’d probably be bored with it. So instead, I’ll show you items that might make you scratch your head since few would even consider buying something like that at all. Most of these items are from Division I schools naturally.

  1. Take your little one to the big game with this purple and gold LSU stroller.
Not sure about you. But I don't think any parent should take young children to a Division I college game. It's not very kid friendly environment and they'd probably be whiny the whole time.

Not sure about you. But I don’t think any parent should take young children to a Division I college game. It’s not very kid friendly environment and they’d probably be whiny the whole time.

2. This Penn State bar counter is perfect for tailgating at Happy Valley.

That is, if you have a pickup to carry it in and are willing to spend a large amount of money on outdoor furniture. Other than that, it's not worth it.

That is, if you have a pickup to carry it in and are willing to spend a large amount of money on outdoor furniture. Other than that, it’s not worth it.

3. This Oregon hoodie allows you to carry a beer bottle in your pocket.

However, if you see someone with a hoodie like this on them as well as a beer bottle in them, they may have a problem. This is especially if they have beers in both hands, too.

However, if you see someone with a hoodie like this on them as well as a beer bottle in them, they may have a problem. This is especially if they have beers in both hands, too.

4. Sing the blues when your team loses with this WVU acoustic guitar.

Because singing annoying country music is a much better way to deal with your emotions than setting a couch on fire. At least it won't lead to calling the fire department.

Because singing annoying country music is a much better way to deal with your emotions than setting a couch on fire. At least it won’t lead to calling the fire department.

5. No LSU fan’s home is complete without a Tiger toilet seat.

This is actually a vintage item and may not be available. But it's made from solid wood and intricately carved.

This is actually a vintage item and may not be available. But it’s made from solid wood and intricately carved.

6. Get your pet in the Buckeye spirit with this Ohio State feed bowl holder.

Because your dog will really be grateful that you did. Though Rover would've been just as happy if you bought a plain one for less money.

Because your dog will really be grateful that you did. Though Rover would’ve been just as happy if you bought a plain one for less money.

7. Have your baby show Wildcat pride on March Madness with this University of Kentucky blinky.

For the love of God, these overpriced pacifiers aren't worth your money. Seriously, why do they even exist? Just get a regular one for your baby. It's cheaper.

For the love of God, these overpriced pacifiers aren’t worth your money. Seriously, why do they even exist? Just get a regular one for your baby. It’s cheaper.

8. Stomp in support for your Nittany Lions with these Penn State cowboy boots.

I can understand if these are sold in the western colleges, especially if they have a western themed mascot. But Penn State? State College was never in cowboy country!

I can understand if these are sold in the western colleges, especially if they have a western themed mascot. But Penn State? State College was never in cowboy country!

9. This chic University of Kentucky sequin purse is Wildcat approved.

Yes, I know that there are plenty of women who are fans of college sports. Some even played them. But this pink sequin UK purse is utterly ridiculous.

Yes, I know that there are plenty of women who are fans of college sports. Some even played them. But this pink sequin UK purse is utterly ridiculous.

10. Ladies, show your Duck pride with this University of Oregon sequin bra.

Why the fuck does this even exist? Seriously, sequin bras are stupid enough. But ones with college logos on them? I don't know if that's worse.

Why the fuck does this even exist? Seriously, sequin bras are stupid enough. But ones with college logos on them? I don’t know if that’s worse.

11. Texas Longhorn fans will surely adore these University of Texas wedding garters.

Yes, I know football at all levels is very big in Texas. But I still don't understand why these Longhorn garters have to exist. It's crazy.

Yes, I know football at all levels is very big in Texas. But I still don’t understand why these Longhorn garters have to exist. It’s crazy.

12. Light it up this summer with this geometric Notre Dame fire dome.

Yes, you got that right. Think of it as a geometric shape iron dome with Notre Dame stuff on it. Will certainly light up the sky.

Yes, you got that right. Think of it as a geometric shape iron dome with Notre Dame stuff on it. Will certainly light up the sky.

13. Show your Buckeye pride with these Ohio State lawn frogs.

I know lawn ornaments can be pretty ridiculous. But college team lawn frogs? That's just a whole another level.

I know lawn ornaments can be pretty ridiculous. But college team lawn frogs? That’s just a whole another level.

14. Now you can know how cold it is in Columbus with this Ohio State gnome thermometer.

I don't know about you. But I think thermometers shouldn't hold bias to the seasons. And this gnome is obviously carrying a snow shovel.

I don’t know about you. But I think thermometers shouldn’t hold bias to the seasons. And this gnome is obviously carrying a snow shovel.

15. Put your Wildcats on your toast with this University of Kentucky branding toaster.

Yeah, I know I showed you similar stuff in my NFL merch post. But these colleges tend to sell similar products. And a lot of them tend to be ridiculous as well.

Yeah, I know I showed you similar stuff in my NFL merch post. But these colleges tend to sell similar products. And a lot of them tend to be ridiculous as well.

16. Propose to your Buckeye girlfriend with this Ohio State engagement ring.

Then again, guys, on second thought, don't. Seriously, just because you and your girlfriend are friends of Ohio State, doesn't mean you should. Because it might backfire.

Then again, guys, on second thought, don’t. Seriously, just because you and your girlfriend are friends of Ohio State, doesn’t mean you should. Because it might backfire.

17. Keep your drink at your side when watching the Fightin’ Irish with this Notre Dame hip flask.

And yet, another example of Notre Dame playing to offensive Irish stereotypes. Because what is anyone going to keep in a hip flask? Water? Oh, hell no.

And yet, another example of Notre Dame playing to offensive Irish stereotypes. Because what is anyone going to keep in a hip flask? Water? Oh, hell no.

18. Grace your living room with this stained glass Mizzou Tiger lamp.

Because nothing makes your home look chic like a Tiffany style lamp of your college team. Then again, it probably looks better at a sports bar.

Because nothing makes your home look chic like a Tiffany style lamp of your college team. Then again, it probably looks better at a sports bar.

19. Keep your basement well furnished on game day with this set of Notre Dame Fightin’ Irish bar stools.

Another case of Notre Dame playing to derogatory Irish stereotypes. But at least it's not as bad as with the hip flask.

Another case of Notre Dame playing to derogatory Irish stereotypes. But at least it’s not as bad as with the hip flask. Great for any Irish pub.

20. Fans of the Alabama Crimson Tide will enjoy this commemorative golf set.

Sure there may be people who enjoy golf in Alabama. But just because someone enjoys college football, doesn't mean they like golf, too. Just saying.

Sure there may be people who enjoy golf in Alabama. But just because someone enjoys college football, doesn’t mean they like golf, too. Just saying.

21. Show support for your Nittany Lions at Beaver Stadium with this digital jersey pin.

It's a pin that has an on going message saying, "Go Nittany Lions!" Yet, it must be very expensive if you ask me.

It’s a pin that has an on going message saying, “Go Nittany Lions!” Yet, it must be very expensive if you ask me.

22. Nothing makes a night worth remembering than a bonfire in a Texas Longhorn fire pit.

Because why go through all the trouble of making one in your own backyard when you can buy this? Yes, it might be more expensive but that's beside the point.

Because why go through all the trouble of making one in your own backyard when you can buy this? Yes, it might be more expensive but that’s beside the point.

23. Why carry your stadium seat and cooler separately, when this USC cooler knapsack lets you do both in one piece?

Now that's very convenient. However, you'll probably save more money buy a plain one instead. Just saying.

Now that’s very convenient. However, you’ll probably save more money buy a plain one instead. Just saying.

24. This Penn State pocket watch makes a great gift for any Nittany Lion fan.

Well, if he's your grandpa who went to Penn State before Joe Pa coached there. But other than that, I'm not sure.

Well, if he’s your grandpa who went to Penn State before Joe Pa coached there. But other than that, I’m not sure.

25. Show your Crimson Tide spirit in your truck with these Alabama University truck mats.

Well, if you have a pickup that has 2 rows of seats. Yet, not all pickup trucks actually do.

Well, if you have a pickup that has 2 rows of seats. Yet, not all pickup trucks actually do.

26. Wipe your mess clean at the game with these NCAA licensed paper towels.

Pictured are Alabama, LSU, and Texas A&M. Of course, regular paper towels do the job just fine, are probably cheaper, and you can get them anywhere.

Pictured are Alabama, LSU, and Texas A&M. Of course, regular paper towels do the job just fine, are probably cheaper, and you can get them anywhere.

27. Keep yourself warm and snug at the games with this LSU Tiger snuggie.

Because how else are going to keep warm in Baton Rouge on those 70 degree days? Also, it's kind of ugly.

Because how else are going to keep warm in Baton Rouge on those 70 degree days? Also, it’s kind of ugly.

28. Now you can move around with ease in this Ohio State motor scooter.

Because bicycles are so overrated, right? Still, I've never seen anyone using a motor scooter and I think this one is expensive as hell.

Because bicycles are so overrated, right? Still, I’ve never seen anyone using a motor scooter and I think this one is expensive as hell.

29. You’re always ready for tailgating with this USC picnic set.

For nothing makes you more ready for college football than showing up at the tailgate party with a wicker picnic basket. Also, does this one include dishes and utensils for more than one person? Because it doesn't seem like it.

For nothing makes you more ready for college football than showing up at the tailgate party with a wicker picnic basket. Also, does this one include dishes and utensils for more than one person? Because it doesn’t seem like it.

30. Now you can make your home smell like a lucky shamrock with this Notre Dame scented candle.

Yes, Yankee Candle really does sell these. I didn't make this up. They have ones for other teams, too. Yet, the Notre Dame one is among the few that make sense.

Yes, Yankee Candle really does sell these. I didn’t make this up. They have ones for other teams, too. Yet, the Notre Dame one is among the few that make sense.

31. Get comfortable watching the Panthers with this University of Pittsburgh helmet armchair.

Seems a bit high, don't you think? Also, not sure if I really want to sit in one of those, anyway.

Seems a bit high, don’t you think? Also, not sure if I really want to sit in one of those, anyway.

32. Make your Iowa University tailgating complete with this Hawkeye portable grill.

Then again, it might've been cheaper to get a similar plain grill and place a Hawkeye sticker on it. But that's just my opinion.

Then again, it might’ve been cheaper to get a similar plain grill and place a Hawkeye sticker on it. But that’s just my opinion.

33. Mountaineer fans can enjoy endless fun with WVU Monopoly.

It's like Monopoly except the winner hast to torch their couch on fire. Because that's a crazy WVU tradition.

It’s like Monopoly except the winner hast to torch their couch on fire. Because that’s a crazy WVU tradition.

34. Always be ready for anything with this USC Trojan toolbox.

 

Well, anything that comes to home repair or home project. However, I don't think it includes the kind of tools you'll need to build a massive wooden horse though.

Well, anything that comes to home repair or home project. However, I don’t think it includes the kind of tools you’ll need to build a massive wooden horse though.

35. Nothing makes you more pumped for an Oregon Duck game like these tye die shirts.

I'm sure any resident campus hippie will certainly dig them. Hey, I didn't say they couldn't be sports fans, too.

I’m sure any resident campus hippie will certainly dig them. Hey, I didn’t say they couldn’t be sports fans, too.

36. Now you can support your Ducks in the comfort of your home with one of these Oregon armchairs.

Comes in Oregon Duck colors which might clash with some of the living room furniture. Then again, why does sport team furniture even exist?

Comes in Oregon Duck colors which might clash with some of the living room furniture. Then again, why does sport team furniture even exist?

37. It’s not a day of Penn State football without this Nittany Lion pigskin toaster.

Even brands the Penn State logo on your toast. Why you'd think it's necessary is beyond me.

Even brands the Penn State logo on your toast. Why you’d think it’s necessary is beyond me.

38. Keep yourself warm this winter with some blue hot chocolate from the University of Florida.

Because you're bound to need some hot drink to keep you from freezing during a 70 degree winter in Gainesville. So why not take the chance?

Because you’re bound to need some hot drink to keep you from freezing during a 70 degree winter in Gainesville. So why not take the chance than on a beverage that might make your lips and tongue look like you’re suffering from hypothermia?

39. Step out in style in these LSU jeweled high-heeled shoes.

I don't know about you. But I'd rather attend a college game in more comfortable footwear. High heels are for more high end occasions like parties.

I don’t know about you. But I’d rather attend a college game in more comfortable footwear. High heels are for more high end occasions like parties.

40. May your bathroom be a tribute to your team with this Mizzou Tigers toilet.

Now that's one of the most tacky toilets I've ever seen. I mean tiger stripes? That's insane.

Now that’s one of the most tacky toilets I’ve ever seen. I mean tiger stripes? That’s insane.

41. Keep your home secure with your very own Alabama Crimson Tide handgun.

Oh, my God, please tell me that this doesn't exist! Seriously, these things kill people that there's a reason why Texas professors don't want them in their classrooms. And I hope this weapon is never seen on a college campus ever.

Oh, my God, please tell me that this doesn’t exist! Seriously, these things kill people that there’s a reason why Texas professors don’t want them in their classrooms. And I hope this weapon is never seen on a college campus ever. Also, hope they don’t have one for Virginia Tech.

42. Support your college team from beyond the grave in this LSU casket.

Yes, these team caskets do exist. Yes, I know it's ridiculous and think a regular one is cheaper. But somehow there's a demand.

Yes, these team caskets do exist. Yes, I know it’s ridiculous and think a regular one is cheaper. But somehow there’s a demand.

43. Drink like a true Nittany lion fan with these Penn State light up reusable ice cubes.

Yes, you read that right. These are reusable ice cubes with Penn State logos. Don't ask me how that works.

Yes, you read that right. These are reusable ice cubes with Penn State logos. Don’t ask me how that works. They also light up.

44. Enjoy the great stadium popcorn taste at game day with your very own University of Kentucky popcorn maker.

Because why go through the trouble with the microwavable stuff when you can get this? Then again, there are plenty of ways to make popcorn without buying expensive stuff like this.

Because why go through the trouble with the microwavable stuff when you can get this? Then again, there are plenty of ways to make popcorn without buying expensive stuff like this.

45. Now you can fish with Mountaineer pride if you have this WVU fishing lure.

Not sure if the fish would go for a WVU fishing lure. And in some West Virginia rivers, I'm not sure if you'll find fish in there at all.

Not sure if the fish would go for a WVU fishing lure. And in some West Virginia rivers, I’m not sure if you’ll find fish in there at all.

46. Keep your food nice and cool with your very own Ohio State refrigerator.

College team mini fridges are one thing. But a standard fridge? I don't think anyone's buying it. Besides, you can easily use different color tape to obtain the look anyway.

College team mini fridges are one thing. But a standard fridge? I don’t think anyone’s buying it. Besides, you can easily use different color tape to obtain the look anyway.

47. This Christmas, make sure your kids are well behaved with this University of Kentucky Elf on the Shelf.

And I thought that the regular Elf on the Shelf was creepy that I devoted blog posts making fun of it. Yeah, this is insane.

And I thought that the regular Elf on the Shelf was creepy that I devoted blog posts making fun of it. Yeah, this is insane.

48. Get your drinks during tailgating with this LSU R2-D2 drink server.

To be fair, this R2-D2 was painted with LSU colors. Yet, it's pretty ridiculous just the same, especially if it's near younger college students.

To be fair, this R2-D2 was painted with LSU colors. Yet, it’s pretty ridiculous just the same, especially if it’s near younger college students.

49. Keep yourself warm at Happy Valley with these Penn State heavy duty Nike gloves.

Then again, they may not be for winter. Besides, I think you can get a cheaper pair practically anywhere.

Then again, they may not be for winter. Besides, I think you can get a cheaper pair practically anywhere.

50. Make bath time so much fun with this Nittany Lion duck from Penn State.

Okay, this is freaky. I mean it seems to be a cross between a rubber duck and and a mountain lion. Then again, the head reminds me more of a bear.

Okay, this is freaky. I mean it seems to be a cross between a rubber duck and and a mountain lion. Then again, the head reminds me more of a bear. Seriously, why?

51. Keep your wine at hand with this Iowa Hawkeyes high heeled wine holder.

I don't understand why such wine holders even exist. I mean even regular ones seem tackier, especially with encrusted gems.

I don’t understand why such wine holders even exist. I mean even regular ones seem tacky as hell, especially with encrusted gems.

52. Step out at any time of the year in this Syracuse adjustable dress.

Well, at least this one doesn't have the Orange mascot on it. Yet, how is this 4 dresses in one? What it's secret?

Well, at least this one doesn’t have the Orange mascot on it. Yet, how is this 4 dresses in one? What its secret?

53. Keep your hair nice and neat with your very own Florida Gators straightener.

So there are hair products with sports logos? And in sport colors, too? Wouldn't a regular straightener do just fine?

So there are hair products with sports logos? And in sport colors, too? Wouldn’t a regular straightener do just fine?

54. Come to the game in style with a pair of University of Tennessee sunglasses.

By the way, these are for women since they have sparkly rhinestones encrusted on them. I know it's crazy, right?

By the way, these are for women since they have sparkly rhinestones encrusted on them. I know it’s crazy, right?

55. Ladies, keep yourself in the team spirit with these NCAA nail polish sets.

Pictured here are Alabama, Michigan State, and Notre Dame. And did I tell you they come in football helmet bottles?

Pictured here are Alabama, Michigan State, and Notre Dame. And did I tell you they come in football helmet bottles?

56. These NCAA candle warmers are just what everyone needs.

I have no idea what these actually do besides possibly warming a candle. But isn't that what a flame is supposed to do?

I have no idea what these actually do besides possibly warming a candle. But isn’t that what a flame is supposed to do?

57. Nothing looks better on a cake in West Virginia than this WVU burning couch candle.

Now the age old WVU victory celebration is now a candle. And there's plenty of wax to go around.

Now the age old WVU victory celebration of vandalism is now a candle. And there’s plenty of wax to go around.

58. Nothing looks better in a Florida State Seminole fan’s cabinet than this commemorative FSU decanter set.

Those who know about American history may remember that many Native Americans didn't take well to alcoholic beverages. So kind of makes this gift kind of ironic.

Those who know about American history may remember that many Native Americans didn’t take well to alcoholic beverages. So kind of makes this gift kind of inappropriate for a Seminoles fan.

59. This Penn State collectible gas station shelf provides sufficient storage space.

I can understand a regular gas station shelf if you want to go for a retro look? But this? Seems more appropriate for a bar.

I can understand a regular gas station shelf if you want to go for a retro look? But this? Seems more appropriate for a bar.

60. Light it up in your home with this stained glass LSU helmet lamp.

I was going to include one of the Philadelphia Eagles for the NFL merchandise last year. But I couldn't. So here's the LSU Tiger one.

I was going to include one of the Philadelphia Eagles for the NFL merchandise last year. But I couldn’t. So here’s the LSU Tiger one.

61. I’m sure any woman Texas Longhorn fan would want a bouquet of roses like these.

Yes, they make these. But while some school colors may work on floral displays, Texas University's isn't one of them.

Yes, they make these. But while some school colors may work on floral displays, Texas University’s isn’t one of them.

62. Get some outdoor rest in this LSU canopy hammock.

Think I might've featured one of these in my outdoor items post. Then again, I might not have.

Think I might’ve featured one of these in my outdoor items post. Then again, I might not have.

63. This Iowa Hawkeye fridge comes with a tap for serving drinks.

Sure this will be all the rage at Iowa University parties. Even when the students are underage, too.

Sure this will be all the rage at Iowa University parties. Even when the students are underage, too.

64. At Michigan State, Juke ‘Em is a football card game.

Not sure how this is played or whether it's present on college campuses. But the graphics remind me of band aid packaging.

Not sure how this is played or whether it’s present on college campuses. But the graphics remind me of band aid packaging.

65. No Penn State bathroom should be complete without a Nittany Lion shower curtain.

Then again, in light of the Jerry Sandusky scandal, I'm not sure if these should be on the market. Of course, perhaps I should've kept my mouth shut on that. But I couldn't resist.

Then again, in light of the Jerry Sandusky scandal, I’m not sure if these should be on the market and I’ll just leave you at that. Of course, perhaps I should’ve kept my mouth shut on that. But I couldn’t resist. Now I feel terrible.

66. This Fightin’ Irish bar sign will certainly light up a room.

Seems like something you'd see at an Irish pub. Like if it was in Las Vegas.

Seems like something you’d see at an Irish pub. Like if it was in Las Vegas.

67. Now you can watch your Mountaineers on your very own WVU couch.

Yes, watch the Mountaineers on this WVU sofa. And when it gets old and starts falling apart, you can give it a proper send off the next time they win.

Yes, watch the Mountaineers on this WVU sofa. And when it gets old and starts falling apart, you can give it a proper send off the next time they win.

68. Tailgating at Wisconsin University has never been so much fun than with this football helmet drink dispenser.

I was going to use an LSU one. But since I haven't featured anything from the Wisconsin Badgers, I decided to go with this.

I was going to use an LSU one. But since I haven’t featured anything from the Wisconsin Badgers, I decided to go with this.

69. Your little ones feel snug and warm in these Florida Gator booties.

Because those 70 degree winters can really cause a freeze. Still, its unlikely they'll ever be used on the Florida University campus.

Because those 70 degree winters can really cause a freeze. Still, its unlikely they’ll ever be used on the Florida University campus.

70. Now your pooch can show support for the Tar Heels with this North Carolina cheerleading outfit.

It's one thing to have a cheerleading outfit for a little girl. But one for a dog? I really don't understand.

It’s one thing to have a cheerleading outfit for a little girl. But one for a dog? I really don’t understand.

71. Your little one can’t go to a Michigan Wolverine tailgating party without this high chair.

I was wondering if they have fold up high chairs like that. Wish I could find one of these for my outdoor post.

I was wondering if they have fold up high chairs like that. Wish I could find one of these for my outdoor post.

72. Make your place more interesting with this FSU hat and face.

Is it just me, or do I find this utterly creepy. I mean it doesn't have a head for God's sake. Don't know why they thought it was a good idea.

Is it just me, or do I find this utterly creepy. I mean it doesn’t have a head for God’s sake. Don’t know why they thought it was a good idea.

73. Any Wolverine football fan will sure adore this Michigan Mr. Potato Head.

Seems like there's a Mr. Potato Head for everything these days. Even in college football apparently.

Seems like there’s a Mr. Potato Head for everything these days. Even in college football apparently.

74. No female Wolverine fan should go without their very own Michigan football purse.

Yes, it's a purse shaped like a football. No, I'm not sure if anyone would buy it but some people might like it.

Yes, it’s a purse shaped like a football. No, I’m not sure if anyone would buy it but some people might like it.

75. Keep your dog safe in warm in these fleece Michigan Wolverine pajamas.

This dog seems to have this: "Kill me now" look in its face. Seriously, dog pajamas? Most dogs don't even wear them.

This dog seems to have this: “Kill me now” look in its face. Seriously, dog pajamas? Most dogs don’t even wear them. Besides they have something to keep them warm through the night anyway. It’s called fur.

76. Keep your kid safe in the car with this Notre Dame Fightin’ Irish car seat.

Comes with its own cup holder, too. Also, a plain car seat like this one is probably cheaper, anyway.

Comes with its own cup holder, too. Also, a plain car seat like this one is probably cheaper, anyway.

77. Get in the Christmas spirit with these Michigan State Spartan candy canes on your tree.

I'm sure these are for decoration since they seem to have a place for string on them. Yet, they also look rather disgusting despite being green.

I’m sure these are for decoration since they seem to have a place for string on them. Yet, they also look rather disgusting despite being green.

78. Have your little one snuggle up with their very own Dream Lite Otto the Orange from Syracuse.

Of course, your kid will be puzzled on why an upstate New York college has an orange as their mascot. But there are some things that you can't really explain.

Of course, your kid will be puzzled on why an upstate New York college has an orange as their mascot. But there are some things that you can’t really explain.

79. Have hours of Nittany Lion fun with this Penn State arcade game machine.

Yes, this exists. I guess this has to do with football. Probably incredibly expensive and so not worth it.

Yes, this exists. I guess this has to do with football. Probably incredibly expensive and so not worth it.

80. Always know where the wind is blowing with your very own Ohio State weather vane.

Like you really would buy it and attach it to the roof of your house. Give me a break, you wouldn't even if you're a diehard Buckeyes fans.

Like you really would buy it and attach it to the roof of your house. Give me a break, you wouldn’t even if you’re a diehard Buckeyes fan.

College Sports Fans Dressed in School Spirit Attire

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Since I went to Saint Vincent College, I decided to dress in my alma mater’s attire. Here I am with a Saint Vincent College football hat as well as my March of the Bearcats jacket, polo, and basketball T-shirt. Yes, it’s a Division III school, but it’s in the spirit of the article. After all, this is about school spirit anyway.

In late August, it’s not unusual to see college kids moving into their dorms on campus with freshman doing so for the first time. However, it’s very likely that the college athletes have already moved back on campus and are preparing for another season, particularly football players. And if they’re on a Division I team, then they’re probably under a lot of pressure to do their best that some of them may not have the time to do any actual schoolwork. Let’s just say going to a Division I school on a full athletic scholarship isn’t nearly what it’s cracked up to be. And that’s nearly getting into how the NCAA profits from these kids tremendously despite that they don’t even pay them a dime. Anyway, in America, college sports are big business and sometimes it’s not unusual for people to feel more loyalty to their college teams than their pro teams. It may be because they went to the school themselves like my dad with Slippery Rock or me with Saint Vincent. Sometimes it might be because the college is within a closer geographic proximity which I think is the case with many WVU and Crimson Tide fans since West Virginia and Alabama don’t have any Big 4 pro sports teams within their state. Not to mention, there are more college teams than pro teams. Yet, these colleges do have their fans and some of them can be outright crazy. And that’s where I come in to show you some of the craziest college fans decked in their ridiculous game day finest so you can see for yourself. Because although I may not be a big sports fan, I do know that college sports are very popular that people would go to these ridiculous lengths to support their team. So for your college reading pleasure, I give you a treasure trove of wacky college sports fans to enjoy. Most of them will be from Division I schools, naturally.

  1. Seems like Dumbledore or Gandalf the White made a presence at Happy Valley.
I think he was wearing this during a white out PSU game. But the wizard beard and body paint is just the same.

I think he was wearing this during a white out PSU game. But the wizard beard and body paint is just the same.

2. This South Florida woman is totally pumped to see her beloved Bulls.

And she has a horn hat as well as painted her whole body to prove it. Okay, she's wearing a camisole, but still. This is over the top.

And she has a horn hat as well as painted her whole body to prove it. Okay, she’s wearing a camisole, but still. This is over the top.

3. At the University of Michigan, all this guy needs is body paint, a helmet, and shoulder pads to support his Wolverines.

Yes, this guy is in full regalia as we know it. Still, he doesn't have a nice message for Ohio State at any rate.

Yes, this guy is in full regalia as we know it. Still, he doesn’t have a nice message for Ohio State at any rate.

4. Introducing  the Pitt Penguin.

Okay, he's not a player for the NHL Pittsburgh Penguins. He's just a fan of the Pitt Panthers in a penguin suit. Yes, I know it looks ridiculous.

Okay, he’s not a player for the NHL Pittsburgh Penguins. He’s just a fan of the Pitt Panthers in a penguin suit. Yes, I know it looks ridiculous.

5. These Happy Valley bunnies have come out on a winter’s day to support their Nittnay Lions.

Now this has to be PSU school spirit at its finest. Doesn't hurt that some of these guys are clad in pink bunny suits. Love it.

Now this has to be PSU school spirit at its finest. Doesn’t hurt that some of these guys are clad in pink bunny pajama suits. Love it.

6. The biggest WVU fans always go with their full body paint on.

WVU fans are a particular lot in the college landscape. The Mountaineer football team has a very passionate fanbase. It's also said that a lot of fans have taken up the practice of couch burning.

WVU fans are a particular lot in the college landscape. The Mountaineer football team has a very passionate fanbase. It’s also said that a lot of fans have taken up the practice of couch burning.

7. This Montana fan has got his war paint on.

And he seems to have rather ornate shoulder pads to match. Like how he has the hand print on his face.

And he seems to have rather ornate shoulder pads to match. Like how he has the hand print on his face.

8. Here we have a Florida State Seminole fan in full war bonnet attire with a Northern Illinois husky admirer.

Just for the record, I don't condone the Seminole wearing the war bonnet and fully understand that it's highly offensive to Native Americans. However, since this is a college fan post, his ridiculous war bonnet attire is so over the top that I just couldn't resist leaving it out.

Just for the record, I don’t condone the Seminole wearing the war bonnet and fully understand that it’s highly offensive to Native Americans. However, since this is a college fan post, his ridiculous war bonnet attire is so over the top that I just couldn’t resist leaving it out.

9. A fan from the University of Kansas can’t be fully dressed without a feather headdress.

Kansas U's mascot is the Jayhawk. And yes, this is fairly offensive to Native Americans but equally outrageous. Yet, I think it's golden.

Kansas U’s mascot is the Jayhawk. And yes, this is fairly offensive to Native Americans but equally outrageous. Yet, I think it’s golden.

10. This Pitt girl bares her midriff even when it’s snowing outside.

Yeah, I know bare midriffs aren't a great idea in snowy weather. But I do like her Panther hat and makeup though.

Yeah, I know bare midriffs aren’t a great idea in snowy weather. But I do like her Panther hat and makeup though.

11. To this guy from the University of New Hampshire, the Wildcats are always #1 in hockey.

Doesn't hurt that he's wearing a puck hat to boot. Also he painted his face white and light blue.

Doesn’t hurt that he’s wearing a puck hat to boot. Also he painted his face white and light blue.

12. At Louisiana State, a mother always tries to foster her love for the Tigers to her daughter.

However, I'm not sure going to an LSU game topless in body paint is a good idea. Because body paint is no substitute for a shirt in my opinion.

However, I’m not sure going to an LSU game topless in body paint is a good idea. Because body paint is no substitute for a shirt in my opinion.

13. At the University of South Carolina, this man dons his chicken hat with pride.

South Carolina's mascot is the game cock which is a chicken once used in the now illegal practice of cockfighting. Yes, you read that right. Don't ask me, that's how they call it.

South Carolina’s mascot is the game cock which is a chicken once used in the now illegal practice of cockfighting. Yes, you read that right. Don’t ask me, that’s how they call it.

14. This Arkansas fan is a true hog’s head in the making.

The University of Arkansas's mascot is a razorback which is an aggressive wild pig. And the rap pigs get, razorbacks can be downright nasty.

The University of Arkansas’s mascot is a razorback which is an aggressive wild pig. And the rap pigs get, razorbacks can be downright nasty.

15. This Temple fan dons a red sombrero to support the Owls.

Contrary to the sombrero, Temple is a college in Philadelphia. Also, owls are cool, by the way.

Contrary to the sombrero, Temple is a college in Philadelphia. Also, owls are cool, by the way.

16. These University of Cincinnati fans are decked with all the bells and whistles.

Well, they have red and black shoulder pads along with crazy hats. But they'll do for this fan post. Also, Cinci's mascot is a bearcat which isn't a fierce creature by any stretch.

Well, they have red and black shoulder pads along with crazy hats. But they’ll do for this fan post. Also, Cinci’s mascot is a bearcat which isn’t a fierce creature by any stretch.

17. This Central Florida fan shows his pride for the Knights by painting himself in gold.

Like the navy blue touches, blue wig, and pom poms. This guy has great talent. Must be a repressed art major.

Like the navy blue touches, blue wig, and pom poms. This guy has great talent. Must be a repressed art major.

18. Have you ever met a Florida Gator head?

Now this is the kind of Florida Gator we all should be rooting for. And I favor this one over the obnoxious Tim Tebow any day of the week. Love it.

Now this is the kind of Florida Gator we all should be rooting for. And I favor this one over the obnoxious Tim Tebow any day of the week. Love it.

19. At Mississippi State University, someone seems to take “Respect the Bell” to a whole new level.

He also tends to take "more cowbell" to a whole new level as well. Since he's dressed like one. Wonder how he sits and goes to the bathroom.

He also tends to take “more cowbell” to a whole new level as well. Since he’s dressed like one. Wonder how he sits and goes to the bathroom.

20. This Louisville fan wears his Cardinal pride on his face.

That is a great make up job if I ever saw one. Almost looks like a cardinal face. Awesome.

That is a great make up job if I ever saw one. Almost looks like a cardinal face. Awesome.

21. Check out this man’s Iowa suit.

Well, it's a hawk suit and striped coveralls. And it's tacky as can be. But at least he's in the Iowa spirit of things.

Well, it’s a hawk suit and striped coveralls. And it’s tacky as can be. But at least he’s in the Iowa spirit of things.

22. On game day, LSU Tiger fans go all out.

LSU fans tend to be a little crazier college sports fans than some of the other schools for some reason. But I like the purple kilt in this.

LSU fans tend to be a little crazier college sports fans than some of the other schools for some reason. But I like the purple kilt in this.

23. These Kansas State fans want to scare the death out of their enemies on the stands.

Yes, they may be wearing purple skull heads. But they're probably as harmless as can be. They're just supporting their Wildcats at the game.

Yes, they may be wearing purple skull heads. But they’re probably as harmless as can be. They’re just supporting their Wildcats at the game.

24. He may only wear a barrel but at the University of Wyoming, he’s having a barrel of fun.

Yes, there's a University of Wyoming and their team is the Cowboys. Yet, their color scheme is different from the NFL Dallas team. So there's nothing to worry about.

Yes, there’s a University of Wyoming and their team is the Cowboys. Yet, their color scheme is different from the NFL Dallas team. So there’s nothing to worry about.

25. At the VCU basketball game, these Ram fans go with clown wigs and beads.

The "Save Shaka Smart" on their foam hands refers to the team's head coach at the time who led the Rams to a winning season as well as the NCAA Men's Final Four. However, he didn't stay for long and is now coaching for the University of Texas.

The “Save Shaka Smart” on their foam hands refers to the team’s head coach at the time who led the Rams to a winning season as well as the NCAA Men’s Final Four. However, he didn’t stay for long and is now coaching for the University of Texas.

26. Hope you’re not scared by this Virginia Tech clown.

Then again, since he can induce nightmares, I think he might make a better VT mascot than the one they have now. Still pretty scary, though.

Then again, since he can induce nightmares, I think he might make a better VT mascot than the one they have now. Still pretty scary, though.

27. At Virginia Commonwealth University, these guys are pumped for the Rowdy Rams.

I hope my sister likes these guys since they're from her school in Richmond. One of them is even dressed like Hulk Hogan and another guy is wearing a kilt.

I hope my sister likes these guys since they’re from her school in Richmond. One of them is even dressed like Hulk Hogan and another guy is wearing a kilt.

28. Iowa Hawk couples who see games together stay together.

And yes, they dress up in ridiculous costumes together. Like the woman's beak and braids which I think are perfect.

And yes, they dress up in ridiculous costumes together. Like the woman’s beak and braids which I think are perfect.

29. Who knew they crowdsurfed in the Navy?

Well, the military branch academies do compete in the NCAA Div. I athletics. But I'm not sure if they count as colleges. Nevertheless, love the blue hair.

Well, the military branch academies do compete in the NCAA Div. I athletics. But I’m not sure if they count as colleges. Nevertheless, love the blue hair.

30. Oklahoma Sooner fans dress in full clown attire for their team.

Yes, I know they look like a couple of clowns in pajamas. But I've seen fans in more ridiculous outfits than that. You'll probably find this amusing though.

Yes, I know they look like a couple of clowns in pajamas. But I’ve seen fans in more ridiculous outfits than that. You’ll probably find this amusing though.

31. At Tennessee, even the cafeteria chefs come out to support their Volunteers.

Doesn't hurt that he has a Tennessee apron and chef's hat to match. But among all the orange, he certainly stands out.

Doesn’t hurt that he has a Tennessee apron and chef’s hat to match. But among all the orange, he certainly stands out.

32. Once a Texas Longhorn man, always a Texas Longhorn man.

He even has a Longhorn hat with players' signatures on it. Must be a real fan to go that far.

He even has a Longhorn hat with players’ signatures on it. Must be a real fan to go that far.

33. This Notre Dame fan goes all out to show pride for his Fightin’ Irish.

Not sure what to think about having Winnie the Pooh in his crotch area. But he wears a nice Irish flag suit.

Not sure what to think about having Winnie the Pooh in his crotch area. But he wears a nice Irish flag suit.

34. At WVU, this woman is willing to go full Mountaineer on game day.

After all, she's dressed in buckskin attire, complete with coonskin cap and fringes. She even carries a stick for good measure.

After all, she’s dressed in buckskin attire, complete with coonskin cap and fringes. She even carries a stick for good measure.

35. These Florida Vikings seem a little disappointed.

But at least they dressed in crocheted Viking hats with beards. Looks ridiculous but should keep them warm.

But at least they dressed in crocheted Viking hats with beards. Looks ridiculous but should keep them warm.

36. From Texas A&M, I give you the Aggie hat.

Like how she used small plush cows for it along with signs. So clever.

Like how she used small plush cows for it along with signs. So clever.

37. This Volunteer fan paints himself with orange and white on game day.

Yes, he's from Tennessee. And yes he wanted his paint job to match his hair. Because he's cheering for the Volunteers.

Yes, he’s from Tennessee. And yes he wanted his paint job to match his hair. Because he’s cheering for the Volunteers.

38. At Kansas State, this man will do anything to see his Wildcats win.

Even if it means, resorting to crazy hair styles and coming to games with a cow skull. Yes, he's willing to try anything.

Even if it means, resorting to crazy hair styles and coming to games with a cow skull. Yes, he’s willing to try anything.

39. At South Florida, you’re bound to find some creative fans during the tailgate parties.

Of course, these guys consist of two men in sparkly body paint an a guy in a grass skirt and pom pom bra. Yes, you have fans like that.

Of course, these guys consist of two men in sparkly body paint an a guy in a grass skirt and pom pom bra. Yes, you have fans like that.

40. This guy goes for the Miami Canes all the way.

And he's decked in Miami Hurricane colors like a true South Floridian. Even has glasses to match.

And he’s decked in Miami Hurricane colors like a true South Floridian. Even has glasses to match.

41. Didn’t know Dorothy, Thing 1, and Thing 2 were huge Boise State fans.

Odd, since I'd imagine Dorothy to support a college team in Kansas since she's from there. As for Thing 1 and Thing 2, I think they're both guys. But to each his own.

Odd, since I’d imagine Dorothy to support a college team in Kansas since she’s from there. As for Thing 1 and Thing 2, I think they’re both guys. But to each his own.

42. These Oregon Ducks fans will rock and roll all night on game day.

They even have the Kiss faces with green and yellow makeup. And they're wearing matching wigs, too.

They even have the Kiss faces with green and yellow makeup. And they’re wearing matching wigs, too.

43. These Texas Longhorn women wear their team spirit on their hair.

Yes, that's Texas Longhorn hair. And yes, you'd more or less expect in in Dr. Seuss. But at least it's in the spirit of things.

Yes, that’s Texas Longhorn hair. And yes, you’d more or less expect in in Dr. Seuss. But at least it’s in the spirit of things.

44. This Kansas Jayhawks fan is a bit blue.

Okay, so his team lost. Big deal. But I do like how he's wearing a Jayhawk outfit though.

Okay, so his team lost. Big deal. But I do like how he’s wearing a Jayhawk outfit though.

45. As Darth Vader said at Texas, “May the horns be with you.”

Okay, he may not have said "May the Force be with you" in Star Wars. But it's in the spirit.

Okay, he may not have said “May the Force be with you” in Star Wars. But it’s in the spirit.

46. At Ohio State, Big Nut is a self-professed member of the 6th Man Club.

Of course, Ohio State is better known for football than basketball. But it's a great picture that I couldn't resist.

Of course, Ohio State is better known for football than basketball. But it’s a great picture that I couldn’t resist.

47. Stripes and spots really stand out for this University of Georgia fan.

Yes, I know it looks tacky. But what does he care? He's there to support his Bulldogs.

Yes, I know it looks tacky. But what does he care? He’s there to support his Bulldogs.

48. This Crimson Tide fan is always an Alabama boy at heart.

Yes, that's a guy in football gear and coveralls. Don't ask me how he got that idea. But he makes it work.

Yes, that’s a guy in football gear and coveralls. Don’t ask me how he got that idea. But he makes it work.

49. A big foam cowboy hat will surely stand out at Oregon.

Sure it makes you look like an idiot. But at least his hat matches with his jacket. I'll give him that.

Sure it makes you look like an idiot. But at least his hat matches with his jacket. I’ll give him that.

50. At the University of Miami, these two guys show their spirit other fans can’t even fathom.

Yes, one has a horned ibis helmet while the other has a Bane mask. But they have their flags and banners on full display.

Yes, one has a horned ibis helmet while the other has a Bane mask. But they have their flags and banners on full display.

51. This Boston College fan wears his hat to show his Eagle pride.

Now that hat is just so unreal. Just looks like a small carousel. Someone must have too much time on his hands.

Now that hat is just so unreal. Just looks like a small carousel. Someone must have too much time on his hands.

52. For the Florida State Seminoles, this woman dresses in full buckskin attire.

Yes, she loves the Florida State Seminoles so much that she's willing to practice cultural appropriation to show her team spirit. Yes, Native Americans, I give you permission to facepalm at this time. Yes, it's very offensive and something you shouldn't do at a football game.

Yes, she loves the Florida State Seminoles so much that she’s willing to practice cultural appropriation to show her team spirit. Yes, Native Americans, I give you permission to facepalm at this time. Yes, it’s very offensive and something you shouldn’t do at a football game.

53. These Boise fans come dressed in their finest feathered hats.

Of course, one is dressed as a pimp which is kind of insulting to blacks. But that's beside the point. Like the other guy's shoulder pads though.

Of course, one is dressed as a pimp which is kind of insulting to blacks. But that’s beside the point. Like the other guy’s shoulder pads though.

54. These Ohio State Buckeye fans know how to show pride in the stands.

Love how all are in their Buckeye regalia for the game. One of them even has a buckeye necklace. Love it.

Love how all are in their Buckeye regalia for the game. One of them even has a buckeye necklace. Love it.

55. These cuddly Baylor Bears have come to watch a basketball game.

Helps that Baylor's mascot is a bear. Still, the faces are cuddly but it's hard to find a guy in an animal costume adorable. But this isn't bad.

Helps that Baylor’s mascot is a bear. Still, the faces are cuddly but it’s hard to find a guy in an animal costume adorable. But this isn’t bad.

56. Hey, it’s the guys from Duck Dynasty at Saint Louis.

Okay, these are people dressed up like characters from Duck Dynasty. Like the one in the balloon hat the best.

Okay, these are people dressed up like characters from Duck Dynasty. Like the one in the balloon hat the best.

57. Seems like a VCU basketball game is one fit for a Pharaoh.

And he's in the King Tut headdress to match his stripped sleeves to boot. Wonder what my sister will think about this.

And he’s in the King Tut headdress to match his stripped sleeves to boot. Wonder what my sister will think about this.

58. Missouri University always tries to project a friendly face.

These are members of the Missouri band dressed up as Sesame Street characters in the stands. Yes, they seem to be having a good time.

These are members of the Missouri band dressed up as Sesame Street characters in the stands. Yes, they seem to be having a good time.

59. This Alabama fan knows that his Crimson Tide are the champs.

And champions the Crimson Tide certainly are. Mostly because the BCS system is rigged in their favor.

And champions the Crimson Tide certainly are. Mostly because the BCS system is rigged in their favor.

60. At Gonzaga, this guy goes all the way for his Bulldogs.

And yes, he's in a clown and cape attire for good measure. Kind of wish there was a March Madness fan tournament where the more outrageous costume wins the round.

And yes, he’s in a clown and cape attire for good measure. Kind of wish there was a March Madness fan tournament where the more outrageous costume wins the round.

61. At Oregon State, these nuns will pray for God’s wrath on anyone who doesn’t support their team.

Yes, they're guys dressed as nuns. But as a Catholic, I don't find their outfits offensive. In fact, I think they're quite clever to tell you the truth.

Yes, they’re guys dressed as nuns. But as a Catholic, I don’t find their outfits offensive. In fact, I think they’re quite clever to tell you the truth.

62. You can’t go to an Oregon Ducks game without a Oregon clam bra.

Yeah, I know what that girl is thinking about sitting next to a guy dressed like that. But I think the Oregon shell bra is quite clever and hilarious.

Yeah, I know what that girl is thinking about sitting next to a guy dressed like that. But I think the Oregon shell bra is quite clever and hilarious.

63. Hey, is there a smurf in the crowd?

This is a scene from Duke where the fans paint themselves with blue body paint. I know it's ridiculous but it's a tradition.

This is a scene from Duke where the fans paint themselves with blue body paint. I know it’s ridiculous but it’s a tradition. Don’t ask me.

64. This University Washington fan is trying to take a picture from a king’s eye view.

Guess someone wants a good view of the Huskies. Even in a crown and gold mask which seems more suitable for Mardi Gras than anything.

Guess someone wants a good view of the Huskies. Even in a crown and gold mask which seems more suitable for Mardi Gras than anything.

65. Hope these LSU fans are able to cash in but it seems unlikely.

Yes, these are guys dressed as pimps. I don't know why they do that. But they look ridiculous enough that they go on this post.

Yes, these are guys dressed as pimps. I don’t know why they do that. But they look ridiculous enough that they go on this post.

66. This Alabama fan is willing to roll in the Tide.

Like how the guy is wearing a Tide box hat with 2 rolls of toilet paper. Seems quite simple compared to the other fans on this post.

Like how the guy is wearing a Tide box hat with 2 rolls of toilet paper. Seems quite simple compared to the other fans on this post.

67. Yes, there’s no doubt that Oregon fans are bananas.

These two even dress in Oregon banana suits for the Ducks. Yes, I know it defies some degree of logic.

These two even dress in Oregon banana suits for the Ducks. Yes, I know it defies some degree of logic.

68. Today, I introduce you to none other than Florida Gator Man.

He even comes with a long gator tail to show his prowess. And to slap around fans from the other team. He never fails.

He even comes with a long gator tail to show his prowess. And to slap around fans from the other team. He never fails.

69. Oregon Ducks should know better than mess with Oregon Vader.

Because he really doesn't take it kindly when the Ducks lose. Players might want to stay on his good side.

Because he really doesn’t take it kindly when the Ducks lose. Players might want to stay on his good side.

70. Didn’t know the Joker was a Georgia Bulldogs fan.

However, I wouldn't want to sit near the Joker in the stands. Has a reputation for being pretty insane.

However, I wouldn’t want to sit near the Joker in the stands. Has a reputation for being pretty insane.

71. So this is what it’s like to be a Volunteer in a pool of Gators.

So Florida was the home team in this game against Tennessee? Makes sense.

So Florida was the home team in this game against Tennessee? Makes sense but the Gator fans don’t seem too happy.

72. At Pitt, some fans live the blue and gold.

And yes, he seems to be wanting to lead the crowd into the Pitt Panthers spirit. Even if he looks totally ridiculous for the occasion.

And yes, he seems to be wanting to lead the crowd into the Pitt Panthers spirit. Even if he looks totally ridiculous for the occasion.

73. At LSU, this man goes for the full Tiger suit.

Yes, the outfit looks totally hideous and not something you'd want to wear on the street. But this guy is supporting his team. Don't judge him.

Yes, the outfit looks totally hideous and not something you’d want to wear on the street. But this guy is supporting his team. Don’t judge him.

74. As an LSU fan, this woman takes being a Tiger quite literally.

Yes, she's dressed and painted to look like an LSU Tiger. Yes, it's insane. But at least she's wearing a bra.

Yes, she’s dressed and painted to look like an LSU Tiger. Yes, it’s insane. But at least she’s wearing a bra.

75. At North Carolina University, these fans decided to go Tar Heel blue.

Yes, North Carolina's mascot is a Tar Heel which looks like a ram. However, it does look quite intimidating and isn't lame.

Yes, North Carolina’s mascot is a Tar Heel which looks like a ram. However, it does look quite intimidating and isn’t lame.

76. This Notre Dame fan is proud that he’s Fightin’ Irish.

However, he might want to tone down the sleazy leprechaun look. Because it may offensive to some of my Irish viewers.

However, he might want to tone down the sleazy leprechaun look. Because it may offensive to some of my Irish viewers.

77. When it comes to supporting the Oregon Ducks, this guy shows his pride dressed in a hula skirt and flower bra.

Yes, I know he's dressed like that when it's probably not ideal to do so. But he certainly stands out in the crowd.

Yes, I know he’s dressed like that when it’s probably not ideal to do so. But he certainly stands out in the crowd.

78. FSU man comes to Florida State to inspire Seminole pride.

Finally, a Florida State man on this post who's not dressed to offend Native Americans. He's a superhero instead.

Finally, a Florida State man on this post who’s not dressed to offend Native Americans. He’s a superhero instead.

79. Never fear, Seminole Man is here.

Yes, that's another Florida State superhero fan in body paint. But his initials on his chest are SN for Seminole.

Yes, that’s another Florida State superhero fan in body paint. But his initials on his chest are SN for Seminole.

80. At Boise State, you can’t leave out the blue haired Elvis impersonators.

Guess they get quite an audience. Like their orange scarves and glasses along with their white suits.

Guess they get quite an audience. Like their orange scarves and glasses along with their white suits.

81. Now these guys just roll with the Alabama Crimson Tide.

So they have toilet paper rolls on their helmets and are wearing large red Tide boxes. Love it.

So they have toilet paper rolls on their helmets and are wearing large red Tide boxes. Love it.

82. At Pitt, you’re bound to find a few strange hats out there.

This guy seems to have a Pitt Panther on an aircraft carrier. Hate to sit behind him or stand.

This guy seems to have a Pitt Panther on an aircraft carrier. Hate to sit behind him or stand.

83. At Georgia Tech, Yellow Jackets fans may seem more inclined to yellow.

Apparently, that seems to be the case. Not sure if seeing them in real life hurts the eyes.

Apparently, that seems to be the case. Not sure if seeing them in real life hurts the eyes.

84. These Georgia Bulldogs fans seem to come quite spiked at the shoulders.

Well, they have spikes in their shoulder pads. But I'd really not want to sit next to any of them even on a good day.

Well, they have spikes in their shoulder pads. But I’d really not want to sit next to any of them even on a good day.

85. These people always know how to support their Trojans at USC.

Funny, I hadn't had California college fans on here yet. But while one is in a swimsuit, the other is in hoplite armor.

Funny, I hadn’t had California college fans on here yet. But while one is in a swimsuit, the other is in hoplite armor.

86. At USC, the girls are said to deck themselves in red and gold on game day.

At least the red body paint isn't as harmful on the skin as a tanning booth. But the one in gold seems like she might have jaundice.

At least the red body paint isn’t as harmful on the skin as a tanning booth. But the one in gold seems like she might have jaundice.

87. A college football fan always tries to foster their love of the game to the next generation.

But whether I approve of this Tennessee Volunteers fan and his sons wearing gangster outfits is another matter. Still, they seem rather well dressed despite the dad resembling a creamcicle.

But whether I approve of this Tennessee Volunteers fan and his sons wearing gangster outfits is another matter. Still, they seem rather well dressed despite the dad resembling a creamcicle.

88. This man knows how to show off his WVU Mountaineer pride without burning a couch.

Well, he's dressed like a Mountaineer with a raccoon tail and coveralls. He also has light up glasses, too.

Well, he’s dressed like a Mountaineer with a raccoon tail and coveralls. He also has light up glasses, too.

89. At Happy Valley, when in doubt, go with blue hair.

Seems like what this girl has done in the stands at a Penn State game. She's even wearing beads.

Seems like what this girl has done in the stands at a Penn State game. She’s even wearing beads.

90. This Rowdy Rams fan knows how to make an entrance.

He's even wearing golden ram horns at a VCU basket ball game. Very fitting at that school.

He’s even wearing golden ram horns at a VCU basket ball game. Very fitting at that school.

91. Among America’s finest in blue, this bear is true fan among them.

Luckily for them, it's a guy in a bear costume. But I love how he seems to be cheering on in the stands.

Luckily for them, it’s a guy in a bear costume. But I love how he seems to be cheering on in the stands.

92. At Missou, this Tiger fan goes for the ultimate body paint tribute.

Is it a bit too much? Yes. Will he look ridiculous? Yes. Does he have artistic talent? Yes.

Is it a bit too much? Yes. Will he look ridiculous? Yes. Does he have artistic talent? Yes.

93. At the University of Arizona, this Wildcat fan is a real hotdog.

Not sure why anyone would dress as a hotdog to support their college team. But this person seems to have a great costume nonetheless.

Not sure why anyone would dress as a hotdog to support their college team. But this person seems to have a great costume nonetheless.

94. This USC fan seems to be a real pinhead.

Because he has a hat with a lot of USC pins on it. And you can barely see the hat other than the plume on top.

Because he has a hat with a lot of USC pins on it. And you can barely see the hat other than the plume on top.

95. For some reason University of Nebraska fans tend to wear corn hats and hold up one of their shoes.

Nebraska's team is the Huskers. And yes, some of them wear corn heads which I think is ridiculous. But the shoe thing speaks for itself.

Nebraska’s team is the Huskers. And yes, some of them wear corn heads which I think is ridiculous. But the shoe thing speaks for itself.

96. This Stanford fan will not be mocked for supporting his team.

Even if he's wearing big red glasses and a blue clown wig. And did I say he's a drummer?

Even if he’s wearing big red glasses and a blue clown wig. And did I say he’s a drummer?

97. These Uncle Sam Navy fans will knock your socks off.

Yes, they're in Uncle Sam suits with boxing gloves. But They seem to have a really good time nonetheless.

Yes, they’re in Uncle Sam suits with boxing gloves. But They seem to have a really good time nonetheless.

98. At Syracuse, it doesn’t hurt to dress like an orange in the stands.

Sure it might make you look like an idiot. But hey, it's not that fans come to the games to look good, especially when they wear outrageous outfits.

Sure it might make you look like an idiot. But hey, it’s not that fans come to the games to look good, especially when they wear outrageous outfits.

99. At the University of Utah, the Pumpkin head man comes out to support the Utes.

Probably something this guy does for Halloween. Wouldn't want to sit behind him in the stands though.

Probably something this guy does for Halloween. Wouldn’t want to sit behind him in the stands though.

100. At Colorado University, this guy will do what it takes to show his Buffalo pride.

I think this guy might be dressed as a character from the Halo video game. But I'm not sure. But I like the horns though.

I think this guy might be dressed as a character from the Halo video game. But I’m not sure. But I like the horns though.

Live Breaking TV News Headlines Gone Awry

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Whether it be your local news affiliates or the national and cable news shows, chances are that you might be familiar with them. And that you might be familiar with their use of captions through graphics to help you identify things as well ranging from story, location, or whoever’s being interviewed. Unlike the TV shows you watched which were taped and aired for an audience later, TV news is usually done live which leaves little room for mistakes. However, sometimes it doesn’t turn out that way. What I have to present to you are a series of news stills that contain their share of errors as well as crazy captions that go with them. I found these on sites thanks to Google as well as in places like Buzzfeed, Funny or Die, Fark, and others. Some of these captions may present a case of misindentification, spelling and grammar errors, redundant captions, and more. So for your reading pleasure I present to you stills of news captions gone wrong. Some of these might not be safe for work by the way.

  1. A big racked 5-point horse was killed today before being sent to a taxidermist and served as venison.
How did anyone think it's a horse? That's a deer. An antlered deer. Know the difference.

I don’t expect much from people who do these captions. But if they can’t distinguish between a horse and a deer, that’s a big problem for me. Seriously, it’s a deer. An antlered deer. Get a clue.

2. A violent sexual predator is on the loose.

Yeah, his name is Sparky who has been humping almost every other pooch in the neighborhood. Make sure your pets are spayed and neutered.

Yeah, his name is Sparky who has been humping almost every other pooch in the neighborhood. Make sure your pets are spayed and neutered.

3. Millions of Blackberry messages on hold throughout the galaxy.

Now even the Klingons can't get their Blackberry messages now. Unfortunately, the real world isn't Star Trek, CNN.

Now even the Klingons can’t get their Blackberry messages now. Unfortunately, the real world isn’t Star Trek, CNN.

4. “Man in Boxers Leads Police on Brief Chase.”

Well, this headline seems actually appropriate. Still, the image of police chasing a guy in his underwear is hard not to laugh at anyway.

Well, this headline seems actually appropriate. Still, the image of police chasing a guy in his underwear is hard not to laugh at anyway.

5. Ladies and gentlemen, presenting former President George Clinton.

Uh, he's actually former President William Jefferson Clinton or Bill for short. And his wife is running for president. Get a grip.

Uh, he’s actually former President William Jefferson Clinton or Bill for short. And his wife is running for president. Get a grip.

6. Norway leads the medal count in the Sochi Winter Olympics.

Save for Norway and Austria, the flags don't seem to match the country. Seriously, the stars and stripes is the US flag, not the Netherlands.'

Save for Norway and Austria, the flags don’t seem to match the country. Seriously, the stars and stripes is the US flag, not the Netherlands.’

7. Today Fox News is Live with former Republican Arizona Congresswoman J.D. Hayworth.

Okay, he may be a congresswoman in a man's body. But that's beside the point.

Okay, he may be a congresswoman in a man’s body. But that’s beside the point.

8. Here we are with Tiger Woods who’s just played his first golf tournament after his sex scandal.

Man, HLN did not use a good choice of captions here. Yes, he's talking about golf. But the caption makes it sound so dirty.

Man, HLN did not use a good choice of captions here. Yes, he’s talking about golf. But the caption makes it sound so dirty.

9. The Associated Press is now with a guy who peed in a reservoir.

It's funnier that his name is Josh Seater who most likely peed standing up. Unfortunately, he answered the call of nature at the wrong place such as a water supply.

It’s funnier that his name is Josh Seater who most likely peed standing up. Unfortunately, he answered the call of nature at the wrong place such as a water supply.

10. Today on Fox News: Is Lowering the Minimum Wage Better for Workers?

I know that Fox News is a conservative cable news channel. However, even an idiot would say that lowering the minimum wage isn't better for workers. Because there have been so many campaigns to raise it.

I know that Fox News is a conservative cable news channel. However, even an idiot would say that lowering the minimum wage isn’t better for workers. Because there have been so many campaigns to raise it. Seriously, raise the minimum wage for crying out loud!

11. Here are live at Name Here with Name Here.

Someone forgot to add names in this caption. Now I don't know who this guy is or where he's at.

Someone forgot to add names in this caption. Now I don’t know who this guy is or where he’s at.

12. Man turns in crack dealer for charging him too much.

Now that's a really stupid thing to do. Because don't police arrest drug users, too? I think so.

Now that’s a really stupid thing to do. Because don’t police arrest drug users, too? I think so.

13. Live on CNN: So is Cap n’ Crunch not really a captain?

How about: do I give a shit? No, but this guy seems a bit disappointed about it. Why CNN? Why?

How about: do I give a shit? No, but this guy seems a bit disappointed about it. Why CNN? Why?

14. Is school too easy for kids? Stay Tuned.

Apparently, not. Since whoever did this graphic doesn't know the difference between, to, two, and too.

Apparently, not. Since whoever did this graphic doesn’t know the difference between, to, two, and too.

15. On sports today it’s Full Title Screen Goes Here.

So is this the station's default screen. Because it sure looks like it to me. Someone doesn't seem to be doing their job.

So is this the station’s default screen. Because it sure looks like it to me. Someone doesn’t seem to be doing their job.

16. Now on 8 News, Murderer Feeds Ex-Fiancee to Her Parents at Barbecue.

That's just sick. Yet, Dr. Hannibal Lecter wanted to know what the killer used on the guy's ribs as a sauce.

That’s just sick. Yet, Dr. Hannibal Lecter wanted to know what the killer used on the guy’s ribs as a sauce.

17. At Fox 12, we’re here with Jessie Lunderby who posed for Playboy.

I don't think this is the right caption because this is a teenage boy. And I don't think his name is Jessie Lunderby.

I don’t think this is the right caption because this is a teenage boy. And I don’t think his name is Jessie Lunderby.

18. Rapper Gucci Mane is uncertain of his own guilt.

Funny how they quoted the guy as "Bitch I might be" when asked if he was guilty. Then again, he might be vying for a plea deal at this point.

Funny how they quoted the guy as “Bitch I might be” when asked if he was guilty. Then again, he might be vying for a plea deal at this point unless the charges are manslaughter.

19. In the Situation Room: Where Is Obama?

I think it's supposed to be: "Where Is Osama?" Wolf Blizter might need a caption proof reader sometime soon.

I think it’s supposed to be: “Where Is Osama?” Wolf Blizter might need a caption proof reader sometime soon.

20. Today “Poopgangster” was arrested for December shooting.

I know it's supposed to be a crime story. But a guy whose nickname is "poopgangster" is hard to take seriously. So was he Public Enemy No. 1 or No. 2?

I know it’s supposed to be a crime story. But a guy whose nickname is “poopgangster” is hard to take seriously. So was he Public Enemy No. 1 or No. 2?

21. Happening now in Washington on CNN, we have former presidential candidate Sarah Palin speaking.

This is just wrong on so many levels. For one, Sarah Palin is a former vice presidential candidate and her name is spelled with an "h." Also, that's Glenn Beck.

This is just wrong on so many levels. For one, Sarah Palin is a former vice presidential candidate and her name is spelled with an “h.” Also, that’s Glenn Beck.

22. Breaking News on CNN, Titanic sank 102 years ago tonight.

Sorry, CNN, but the fact the Titanic sank over 100 years ago isn't breaking news. Or even news. It's common knowledge that everyone should know by now.

Sorry, CNN, but the fact the Titanic sank over 100 years ago isn’t breaking news. Or even news. It’s common knowledge that everyone should know by now.

23. Today in politics, Congressman Anthony Weiner is shrinking his staff.

But whether this means his staff or his penis will be revealed after the next commercial. Stay tuned.

But whether this means his staff or his penis will be revealed after the next commercial. Stay tuned.

24. On CNN tonight is an exclusive on Michael Jackson’s death.

Shouldn't CNN be paying more attention to the story of 60-80 thousand children crossing the US-Mexican border. I think that deserves more coverage than a news ribbon for Christ's sake. Because it's a bigger story.

Shouldn’t CNN be paying more attention to the story of 60-80 thousand children crossing the US-Mexican border. I think that deserves more coverage than a news ribbon for Christ’s sake. Because it’s a bigger story.

25. Live at Eleven on Fox13: Human Remains Found which Could Belong to Lori Hacking.

However, this is a very terrible time to let people know that they can find recipes on your website. Seriously, this is not the kind of story.

However, this is a very terrible time to let people know that they can find recipes on your website. Seriously, this is not the kind of story.

26. In Dunwoody, Georgia, a Santa impersonator was asked to tone it down.

Yes, evil Santa Claus, please tone it down. You're scaring the children. Hell, you're scaring me.

Yes, evil Santa Claus, please tone it down. You’re scaring the children. Hell, you’re scaring me just smiling.

27. Krem News would like to wish you a great day.

However, you're probably not if you live in that burning building. Yeah, not a great scene to end a broadcast.

However, you’re probably not if you live in that burning building. Yeah, not a great scene to end a broadcast.

28. Today we’re speaking with Don Krasin, a World War 11 veteran.

I think it's supposed to be World War II. But, the captioner had no idea of how to do Roman numerals. At any rate, Krasin always likes to talk about how he and his buddies took down the alien overlords.

I think it’s supposed to be World War II. But, the captioner had no idea of how to do Roman numerals. At any rate, Krasin always likes to talk about how he and his buddies took down the alien overlords.

29. At PIX, we’re with Gerard Jankowski who’s one angry guy.

But we don't know what he's angry about. Stay tuned for further details.

But we don’t know what he’s angry about. Stay tuned for further details.

30. The main suspect in the Dentist Assault case is Firstname Lastname.

Someone really forgot to write the guy's name. Now he's going to be known by that for a very long time.

Someone really forgot to write the guy’s name. Now he’s going to be known by that for a very long time.

31. New at 10 on 19 Action News: Are Peanut Butter and Jelly Sandwiches Racist?

Because they always seem to be depicted on white bread for some reason. Or maybe white people are projecting their latent racism on the sandwich?

Because they always seem to be depicted on white bread for some reason. Or maybe white people are projecting their latent racism on the sandwich?

32. New at 10 on KENS 5: Teen Werewolves.

Teen werewolves? Seriously? Seems like someone has been reading too much Twilight lately. Or watching too many werewolf movies.

Teen werewolves? Seriously? Seems like someone has been reading too much Twilight lately. Or watching too many werewolf movies.

33. On Fox News we have Michael Newman who is surprisingly not dead.

Guess this guy lived a very dangerous lifestyle like go near crocodiles and such. Still, what's with the "surprisingly not dead" part?

Guess this guy lived a very dangerous lifestyle like go near crocodiles and such. Still, what’s with the “surprisingly not dead” part?

34. We’re speaking with Aaron Mishkin a “Kick a Ginger Day” victim.

So kicking gingers is a thing? For God's sake, this isn't great for the ginger in question.

So kicking gingers is a thing? For God’s sake, this isn’t great for the ginger in question.

35. Today on KXLY 4 News: Man with Bizarre Name Arrested.

Is the bottom part his name? If yes, I feel very bad that his parents saddled him with that. If no, then the captioner must be goofing off.

Is the bottom part his name? If yes, I feel very bad that his parents saddled him with that. If no, then the captioner must be goofing off.

36. From KARE News, have a safe and happy Memorial Day Weekend so buckle up, slow down, and drink and drive.

I think someone forgot to enter the word "don't" before "drink and drive." Because drinking and driving isn't something society encourages. In fact, quite the opposite since such acts kill people as well as lead to jail time.

I think someone forgot to enter the word “don’t” before “drink and drive.” Because drinking and driving isn’t something society encourages. In fact, quite the opposite since such acts kill people as well as lead to jail time.

37. Exclusive on Korina Today, the MILF speaks.

Remember, in the Philippines, a MILF is an Islamic terrorist organization. However, in America, we wouldn't call that guy a MILF for obvious reasons.

Remember, in the Philippines, MILF is an Islamic terrorist organization. However, in America, we wouldn’t call that guy a MILF for obvious reasons.

38. On BBC News Today is Dr. Tom Hart a penguinologist.

Yes, penguinologist is a real job to describe someone who studies penguins. I googled the term myself. So the term isn't a mistake by the BBC.

Yes, penguinologist is a real job to describe someone who studies penguins. I googled the term myself. So the term isn’t a mistake by the BBC.

39. On The Weather Channel is Jeff Foster who’s tired of birds.

He even has a loud bull horn with him so he could get the birds off his lawn. Yes, he's a mean old man who hates birds.

He even has a loud bull horn with him so he could tell the birds to get off his lawn. Yes, he’s a mean old man who hates birds.

40. Live on MSNBC: 8 dead and 30 killed in Chicago violence.

You can easily say, "38 dead" or "38 killed" in Chicago violence. Because killed and dead mean almost the same thing when you're talking about murder.

You can easily say, “38 dead” or “38 killed” in Chicago violence. Because killed and dead mean almost the same thing when you’re talking about murder.

41. At least the Rapist Search may be over soon according to ABC 7.

Of course, this guy isn't going to have a nice day. Hope he has an alibi. Because the rapist sketch really resembles him.

Of course, this guy isn’t going to have a nice day. Hope he has an alibi. Because the rapist sketch really resembles him.

42. Our #4 story on the Top 5 concerns Middletown’s very own Jack Goff.

No, that's his actual name. Don't ask me. I wasn't consulted. Neither were his parents.

No, that’s his actual name. Don’t ask me. I wasn’t consulted. Neither were his parents.

43. Apparently, penalizing the Pittsburgh Penguins Alternate Captain was too much according to Pittsburgh’s FSN.

Not sure who this player is from the Pens. But he doesn't seem to be too happy in the penalty box. Seems to have a face like a kid who's just been sent to time out.

Not sure who this player is from the Pens. But he doesn’t seem to be too happy in the penalty box. Seems to have a face like a kid who’s just been sent to time out.

44. The Space Shuttle Columbia was traveling nearly 18 times the speed of light before the tragedy.

I remember that crash when I was 13. However, the shuttle wasn't going 18 times the speed of light. Because that's an impossible speed.

I remember that crash when I was 13. However, the shuttle wasn’t going 18 times the speed of light. Because that’s an impossible speed.

45. Live on WBTV 3 this morning a man was killed to death.

"Killed to death" really? That really doesn't help matters. Just say the guy was killed because it's obviously a murder story.

“Killed to death” really? That really doesn’t help matters. Just say the guy was killed because it’s obviously a murder story.

46. Breaking News on Fox 5 News: Fire Destroyed by Home.

I think it's supposed to be "Home Destroyed by Fire." Obviously someone got the word order wrong. Because homes don't destroy fires.

I think it’s supposed to be “Home Destroyed by Fire.” Obviously someone got the word order wrong. Because homes don’t destroy fires.

47. On WUSA 9: J.C. McKinney goes for last minute groceries because he forgot cheez whiz.

Is a guy forgetting cheez whiz newsworthy? People forget cheez whiz all the time but they don't get to be on TV.

Is a guy forgetting cheez whiz newsworthy? People forget cheez whiz all the time but they don’t get to be on TV.

48. Today on Fox News we sit down with Holocaust winner Elie Wiesel.

For crying out loud, Fox News, Wiesel's a Holocaust survivor, not a winner. The Holocaust was a mass genocide, not a contest. This is fucked up.

For crying out loud, Fox News, Wiesel’s a Holocaust survivor, not a winner. The Holocaust was a mass genocide, not a contest. This is fucked up.

49. According to Pat Buchanan on Fox News, illegal aliens are bringing STDs into the country.

Really? Some undocumented immigrants may have STDs. But syphilis and gonorrhea aren't new STDs. Besides, it's insulting.

Really? Some undocumented immigrants may have STDs. But syphilis and gonorrhea aren’t new STDs as well as easier to avoid than others. Besides, it’s very insulting.

50. According to a Rasmussen poll on Fox News, 59% and 35% believe that scientists falsified research to support their theory on global warming.

For one, global warming does exist so the scientists aren't falsifying their research at any rate. But since it's Fox News we're talking about, global warming denial is expected. Second, the math is totally wrong because the numbers add to 120%.

For one, global warming does exist and is a very real problem so the scientists aren’t falsifying their research at any rate. But since it’s Fox News we’re talking about, global warming denial is expected. Second, the math is totally wrong because the numbers add to 120%.

51. Today in the Middle East, Secretary of Gates meats with Israeli defense secretary Ehud Barak.

Unfortunately, Fox News totally fails in geography since they forget that Egypt is in Africa and across the sea from Saudi Arabia. The country between Iran and Syria is Iraq.

Unfortunately, Fox News totally fails in geography since they forget that Egypt is in Africa and across the sea from Saudi Arabia. The country between Iran and Syria is Iraq.

52. This Fox News correspondent is waiting for President Obama’s arrival.

Not if Michelle has anything to do with it. Still, that caption is so suggestive. Yet, Fox News didn't change it.

Not if Michelle has anything to do with it. Still, that caption is so suggestive. Yet, Fox News didn’t change it.

53. According to this pie chart, here is how each GOP presidential candidate stands out.

Apparently, the person who designed this Fox News pie chart has no conception of math. Add 60%, 70% and 63%, you come up with 193%.

Apparently, the person who designed this Fox News pie chart has no conception of math. Add 60%, 70% and 63%, you come up with 193%.

54. Wednesday at 10 on Fox 8 News: we’re going to show you Making Money with Your Body.

This is just so wrong on so many levels. From what I see, this seems like "How to Become a Prostitute" than anything. Not cool.

This is just so wrong on so many levels. From what I see, this seems like “How to Become a Prostitute” than anything. Not cool.

55. In the DA murder plot, Affidavit Reveals Possible Suspect.

An old guy on a segway who's minding his own business? Don't ask me, but I think this station might've used the wrong footage for the caption.

An old guy on a segway who’s minding his own business? Don’t ask me, but I think this station might’ve used the wrong footage for the caption.

56. Homeowner burns house after setting snake on fire.

The guy could've just avoided the whole thing altogether by simply calling animal control. Seriously, they would've taken care of it just fine.

The guy could’ve just avoided the whole thing altogether by simply calling animal control. Seriously, they would’ve taken care of it just fine.

57. Today on All In with Chris Hayes is someone who studies duck genitalia.

Yes, there are people who actually do that. But still, it's kind of hard to take seriously at any rate.

Yes, there are people who actually do that. But still, it’s kind of hard to take seriously at any rate. Thank you, MSNBC.

58. According to CNN Money, Hogwarts costs more than Harvard.

This looks very wrong and probably not conducted by people who read the Harry Potter books. $123 for gloves, you got to be kidding me. Besides, they don't seem to include a cauldron, a pet, or anything else.

This looks very wrong and probably not conducted by people who read the Harry Potter books. $123 for gloves, you got to be kidding me. Besides, they don’t seem to include a cauldron, a pet, or anything else. Not to mention, gloves don’t nearly cost that much.

59. Today’s weather report on 4 WARN is by meteorologist Dagny the Dog.

Seems like the forecast today isn't calling for warmer temperatures that remain in the 20s and 30s. So wear a blanket.

Seems like the forecast today isn’t calling for warmer temperatures that remain in the 20s and 30s. So wear a blanket.

60. Apparently, CBS News can’t name that player.

His last name is Jefferson which is on the back of his jersey. He's from LSU. This is ridiculous.

His last name is Jefferson which is on the back of his jersey. He’s from LSU. This is ridiculous.

61. According to WGN 9 News, Dwayne Wade is not a hockey player.

Well, that really narrows it down. So if he's not a hockey player what is he? A basketball player? If so, then just say it.

Well, that really narrows it down. So if he’s not a hockey player what is he? A basketball player? He seems to be wearing a basketball jersey. If so, then just say it.

62. According to the BBC, nobody cares about Declan Curry.

So if nobody cares, why is he on TV? Because somebody must care what he has to say or he wouldn't be on the BBC.

So if nobody cares, why is he on TV? Because somebody must care what he has to say or he wouldn’t be on the BBC.

63. David Davis was arrested while in the middle of a haircut.

That is possibly one of the funniest mugshots ever. Bet he's going to be the laughing stock of the big house sometime soon.

That is possibly one of the funniest mugshots ever. Bet he’s going to be the laughing stock of the big house sometime soon.

64. We are now live with Name Last Name in Location.

Yet, another captioner not doing their job. Seriously, people have to know who the reporter is or where he's at right now.

Yet, another captioner not doing their job. Seriously, people have to know who the reporter is or where he’s at right now.

65. Fox News asks: How often to you think about touching other people’s private parts?

Like never. Still, I have a question for Fox News: why the fuck did you ask your viewers this? Then again, this might've been put forward by Roger Ailes who was head of Fox News at the time. And I know how often he thought about touching other people's private parts.

Like never. Still, I have a question for Fox News: why the fuck did you ask your viewers this? Then again, this might’ve been put forward by Roger Ailes who was head of Fox News at the time. And I know how often he thought about touching other people’s private parts.

66. Today BBC News sits with writer, wizard, Mall Santa, and Rasputin Impersonator Alan Moore.

Well, he certainly looks the part since he has a long beard and hair. Yet, it's kind of hard to take seriously.

Well, he certainly looks the part since he has a long beard and hair. Yet, it’s kind of hard to take seriously.

67. Today we have an exclusive on blow jobs.

Can't they just say demolitions? Seriously, blow jobs is too sexually suggestive? I mean it's an oral sex slang term.

Can’t they just say demolitions? Seriously, blow jobs is too sexually suggestive? I mean it’s an oral sex slang term.

68. Tonight at 10 on 8: The Chainsaw Chicken has been captured.

So you don't have to worry about a chainsaw wielding chicken murdering you anymore over your diet of poultry and eggs. He's now in police custody as we speak.

So you don’t have to worry about a chainsaw wielding chicken murdering you anymore over your diet of poultry and eggs. He’s now in police custody as we speak. And he did not get to cross the road.

69. Reporting on MSNBC Norah O’Donnell from the White House.

Seems like forgetting 3 letters can make all the difference. No, I don't think she's reporting from "the White Ho."

Seems like forgetting 3 letters can make all the difference. No, I don’t think she’s reporting from “the White Ho.”

70. A developing story on LEX 8 News is of a Jessamine County inmate who overdosed on underwear.

First off, how is overdosing on underwear possible? Second off, why would anyone even try?

First off, how is overdosing on underwear possible? Second off, why would anyone even try?

71. On Fox 2 a homeless man steals an EMS rig to go to a strip club.

Has anyone at the station heard the term ambulance? Because that's what an EMS rig is. Also, why couldn't a homeless man just steal a regular car to go to a strip club? Or walk?

Has anyone at the station heard the term ambulance? Because that’s what an EMS rig is. Also, why couldn’t a homeless man just steal a regular car to go to a strip club? Or walk?

72. Coming up on WTAE 4 Action News: Girl takes on Dick’s.

This one is from a news station where I live, by the way. Still, I think they mean Dick's Sporting Goods in this context. But they had to use that caption with a girl looking at her cell phone, a poor choice.

This one is from a news station where I live, by the way. Still, I think they mean Dick’s Sporting Goods in this context. But they had to use that caption with a girl looking at her cell phone, which suggests sexting.

73. KCTV 5 News says you can find great kitten barbecue recipes on My KSMO-TV at 8 a.m.

I think the word is supposed to be "kitchen" not kitten. This Kansas City station might want to apologize to local cat lovers.

I think the word is supposed to be “kitchen” not kitten. This Kansas City station might want to apologize to local cat lovers.

74. On WBRE we have continuing coverage of the serial butt stabbers.

Yes, the knife picture is quite appropriate. But while the serial butt stabbers may be serious threats, their name inspires shits and giggles. Hope they don't attack from behind.

Yes, the knife picture is quite appropriate. But while the serial butt stabbers may be serious threats, their name inspires shits and giggles. Hope they don’t attack from behind.

75. Kevin Poehner likes portable toilets as he stands near a Honey Bucket.

Nor sure what to think about that kid who may or may not have a sense a smell. Because outhouses are utterly disgusting and smelly places that I try to avoid.

Nor sure what to think about that kid who may or may not have a sense a smell. Because outhouses are utterly disgusting and smelly places that I try to avoid.

76. Live in Phoenix, a suspicious flashlight was found in a parking lot between 3rd Avenue and Jefferson.

I guess this is going to come down to a waste of airtime as reporters speculate who left the flashlight in the parking lot. Stay tuned.

I guess this is going to come down to a waste of airtime as reporters speculate who left the flashlight in the parking lot. Stay tuned.

77. New this morning on ABC 13: Cat called for jury duty.

Yes, it should come as a shock, even for the cat. Don't ask me how this happened.

Yes, it should come as a shock, even for the cat. Don’t ask me how this happened.

78. According to CNN, experts agree that Osama Bin Laden is either alive or dead.

Well, that really clears things up. Then again, if experts can't make up their minds whether someone is alive or dead, it shouldn't be news.

Well, that really clears things up. Then again, if experts can’t make up their minds whether someone is alive or dead, it shouldn’t be news.

79. Fox Toledo brings you more coverage of the Cheeseburger Stabbing.

What is there someone going around stabbing cheeseburgers? I need details for God's sake.

What is there someone going around stabbing cheeseburgers? I need details for God’s sake.

80. On Fox News, Neil Cavuto asks, can sex with underage boys be a good thing?

Why the fuck would anyone in their right mind ask that question? Hell, no, could sex with underage boys be a good thing for obvious reasons. There's a reason why people who do that get on Megan's Law for God's sake!

Why the fuck would anyone in their right mind ask that question? Hell, no, could sex with underage boys be a good thing for obvious reasons. There’s a reason why people who do that get on Megan’s Law for God’s sake!

81. On LEX 18 News a woman was glued to a toilet at a Wayne County Wal Mart.

This woman's face is like: "Why do I have to do this ridiculous story? I didn't sign up for this. Don't people have any common sense?"

This woman’s face is like: “Why do I have to do this ridiculous story? I didn’t sign up for this. Don’t people have any common sense?”

82. Breaking on Fox 40 reports Obama Bin Laden dead.

I guess this was a slip of the tongue, given Obama's reputation on Fox News. Sorry, but it's Osama Bin Laden.

I guess this was a slip of the tongue, given Obama’s reputation on Fox News. Sorry, but it’s Osama Bin Laden who’s dead thanks to Obama.

83. Fox 5 sits with actor Omar Epps.

Sorry but that's definitely not actor Omar Epps. Because Omar Epps is obviously black and doesn't have a lot of hair.

Sorry but that’s definitely not actor Omar Epps. Because Omar Epps is obviously black and doesn’t have a lot of hair.

84. According to the Greg-Alogue on Fox News, sex with robots may not be what it’s all cracked up to be.

Other than its obvious right wing biased news commentary and coverage, is there any reason why we make fun of Fox News? Probably because they air stuff about sex with robots and other stories like that.

Other than its obvious right wing biased news commentary and coverage, is there any reason why we make fun of Fox News? Probably because they air stuff about sex with robots and other stories like that.

85. On Fox 25, we’re live on the news story about a captain’s epic search for his sandwich.

How is this news? Seriously, people miss sandwiches all the time. But they move on with their lives. This is just fluff.

How is this news? Seriously, people miss sandwiches all the time. But they move on with their lives. This is just fluff.

86. Breaking news on PIX is Top Line All Caps in Bottom Line All Caps.

Seems like a crime story by the police cars. But you don't know why they're there. Because someone forgot to do the caption.

Seems like a crime story by the police cars. But you don’t know why they’re there. Because someone forgot to do the caption.

87. KATU 2 is live in Downtown Portland in our continuing coverage on the sign bandit.

And it seems that the sign bandit was just there. Just look behind the reporter.

And it seems that the sign bandit was just there. Just look behind the reporter.

88. Fox 14 News brings you coverage on the drunk driving lasw.

I think it's supposed to be "laws." But the captioner didn't have time to proofread before they were on the air.

I think it’s supposed to be “laws.” But the captioner didn’t have time to proofread before they were on the air.

89. NY 1 sits down with actor Wesley Snipes.

That's Democratic New York congressman Charlie Rangel who left office in disgrace over a corruption scandal. Jon Stewart often made fun of him on the Daily Show for awhile.

That’s Democratic New York congressman Charlie Rangel who left office in disgrace over a corruption scandal. Jon Stewart often made fun of him on the Daily Show for awhile.

90. Rodney Stanger: Cold Case Suspect?

That's a hamster with a director's board. Really not someone you'd consider a cold case suspect. This is just hilarious.

That’s a hamster with a director’s board. Really not someone you’d consider a cold case suspect. This is just hilarious.

91. Breaking on CBS Sports: Everything is back to normal.

Uh, a football player just got hurt here so the Steelers-Ravens game stopped. So no, everything is not back to normal.

Uh, a football player just got hurt here so the Steelers-Ravens game stopped. So no, everything is not back to normal. Has this captioner ever been to a football game?

92. Breaking News on KDKA 2: Many words should fit in this sentence bar. Do not try to type in a paragraph to tell the story.

Another local station where I live. Seems like a captioner wasn't doing their job at a critical moment.

Another local station where I live. Seems like a captioner wasn’t doing their job at a critical moment.

93. Today on Fox News: Will high gas prices cost your kids their edutaion?

I think it's supposed to be "education." But someone on Fox News forgot to proofread before it went on the air. Really makes them look bad. Then again, this was the network that said the Pilgrims celebrated Christmas.

I think it’s supposed to be “education.” But someone on Fox News forgot to proofread before it went on the air. Really makes them look bad. Then again, this was the network that said the Pilgrims celebrated Christmas.

94. Congratulations to to today’s winner, Byron, Minnesota’s Dixie Normous!

That has to be a joke name because I don't think that person expected to win. Then again, it's pretty funny.

That has to be a joke name because I don’t think that person expected to win. Then again, it’s pretty funny.

95. On WXYZ 7, we’re here with Sal Rizzo who took a picture of a naked guy.

Guess this guy saw the streaker while he was minding his own business. Yet, I wonder why the naked guy thing is on the news to begin with.

Guess this guy saw the streaker while he was minding his own business. Yet, I wonder why the naked guy thing is on the news to begin with.

96. A pizza delivery murder took place in East Memphis.

I don't know about you, Pizza Hut, but this isn't a great way to announce that you're hiring delivery drivers. Because I don't think many are willing to take that job at the moment.

I don’t know about you, Pizza Hut, but this isn’t a great way to announce that you’re hiring delivery drivers. Because I don’t think many are willing to take that job at the moment.

97. On Fox 8: Florence Koppin turns 1000 years old.

She turned 100 years old. No human can live to 1000 years for God's sake. So where could she be from, the Middle Ages?

She turned 100 years old. No human can live to 1000 years for God’s sake. So where could she be from, the Middle Ages?

98. Ottawa CTVNews would like to ask viewers would they prefer rain or sun in the summer: Yes or No.

Sorry, but that's no way to conduct a poll. Sun or rain should be the answers not yes or no. Because it's not a yes or no question. Get a grip, Canada.

Sorry, but that’s no way to conduct a poll. Sun or rain should be the answers not yes or no. Because it’s not a yes or no question. Get a grip, Canada.

99. Joakim Noah of the Chicago Bulls knows how to post videos on Facebook.

Knowing how to post videos on Facebook isn't a special skill. The guy is an NBA basketball player. Surely he has more larger than life talents.

Knowing how to post videos on Facebook isn’t a special skill. The guy is an NBA basketball player. Surely he has more larger than life talents.

100. Tonight, wife stabs husband with squirrel.

Sure I know it's not funny to the husband in question. But I want to stay tuned to know how she pulled it off.

Sure I know it’s not funny to the husband in question. But I want to stay tuned to know how she pulled it off even though she’s nuts.

Extra! Extra! Read All About These Breaking Newspaper Headlines

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Before the days of the Internet and TV, there was mass media called newspapers which informed the public of the day’s current events. One of their ways to catch viewers’ attention to articles was through a nice bold headlines. Of course, headlines on the front page usually got the most attention and were usually about events of historical and worldly significance. Nevertheless, newspapers continue to exist today but their glory days are very much over in this age of social media. Now I can show you all the great headlines I’ve seen before. But you’ll probably be bored by them to tears. So I’ll give you headlines by people who aren’t very good at some basic aspects associated with their job. Because unlike people on Twitter, they have to worry about things like grammar and syntax when their lines are in 124 characters or less. And sometimes they don’t come out very well. So enjoy these eye catching headlines for your reading pleasure. Some of these might not be safe for work, by the way.

  1. Oh, shit somebody squawked.
Didn't know that parrots could resort to such criminal behavior. Maybe that's why pirates kept them.

Didn’t know that parrots could resort to such criminal behavior. Maybe that’s why pirates kept them. Polly wants you to give him all your crackers or else.

2. Apparently, someone wasn’t sticking to their diet plan.

To be fair, I'm not sure if dieting works anyway. But that doesn't stop people from trying it.

To be fair, I’m not sure if dieting works anyway. But that doesn’t stop people from trying it.

3. When it comes to crime, this man probably comes as a jack of all trades.

So what do they mean by, "everything?" The term seems rather non-specific here. Like he was arrested for arson, murder, jaywalking, robbery, grand theft auto, rape, extortion, and more.

So what do they mean by, “everything?” The term seems rather non-specific here. Like he was arrested for arson, murder, jaywalking, robbery, grand theft auto, rape, extortion, torture, and more.

4. Apparently, Uranus has been acting up more than predicted.

I think someone was wanting to write that headline for years. Sound sort of like some dirty joke since Uranus is so unfortunately named.

I think someone was wanting to write that headline for years. Sound sort of like some dirty joke since Uranus is so unfortunately named.

5. When it bleeds, it leads, especially when it pertains to rhyme.

Yes, I know that moose-auto collisions are nothing to joke about. But this headline is hilarious for its rhyming scheme.

Yes, I know that moose-auto collisions are nothing to joke about. But this headline is hilarious for its rhyming scheme.

6. While some people have imaginary friends, the Dallas-Ft.Worth SWAT Team stages stand offs in apartments belonging to imaginary pot growers.

Yeah, a stand off in an empty apartment isn't going to inspire public confidence. Also, those "tomato plants" in the lead aren't really tomato plants.

Yeah, a stand off in an empty apartment isn’t going to inspire public confidence. Also, those “tomato plants” in the lead aren’t really tomato plants.

7. According to Nike, Tiger Woods plays with his own balls in golf.

Apparently that hasn't stopped him from cheating. But I think Nike was trying to say that Tiger plays with his own golf balls.

Apparently that hasn’t stopped him from cheating. But I think Nike was trying to say that Tiger plays with his own golf balls.

8. As far as “Civil War planes” go, I don’t think it pertains to America here. At least I hope so.

I know this headline refers to a civil war in another country. However, whenever Americans hear "Civil War" they usually think about something that happened nearly 4 decades before airplanes were invented.

I know this headline refers to a civil war in another country. However, whenever Americans hear “Civil War” they usually think about something that happened nearly 4 decades before airplanes were invented.

9. Guess that marks the end of that discussion.

So this was a meeting on open meetings which was closed? Interesting.

So this was a meeting on open meetings which was closed? Interesting.

10. When it comes to organizations, sometimes you don’t know what they stand for.

However, this article has something to do with a nuclear waste incineration. For me this begs the question, why do nuclear waste incinerators even exist? Seriously, you can guess the environmental harm here.

However, this article has something to do with a nuclear waste incineration. For me this begs the question, why do nuclear waste incinerators even exist? Seriously, you can guess the environmental harm here.

11. Well, finding caskets in a mausoleum is kind of expected.

Because we all know what mausoleums are for. Seriously, you're bound to find caskets in them because they are stored there.

Because we all know what mausoleums are for. Seriously, you’re bound to find caskets in them because they are stored there.

12. As far as the 10 Commandments are concerned, the courts are divided on the question.

I guess this refers to displaying the 10 Commandments in public places which is a very contentious issue. But it certainly doesn't read that way.

I guess this refers to displaying the 10 Commandments in public places which is a very contentious issue. But it certainly doesn’t read that way.

13. Sometimes gun ownership responsibility starts at a very young age.

At first, I thought the firearm in question might be a BB gun. Turns out it's a real gun which just begs the question: How in the hell did a baby manage to win this? I mean this very picture pretty much sums up why I staunchly support gun control.

At first, I thought the firearm in question might be a BB gun. Turns out it’s a real gun which just begs the question: How in the hell did a baby manage to win this? I mean this very picture pretty much sums up why I staunchly support gun control.

14. Seems like she won’t be a positive role model for girls anytime soon.

To be fair, this girl won a beauty pageant. But whoever came up with this headline has a very poor choice in vocabulary.

To be fair, this girl won a beauty pageant. But whoever came up with this headline has a very poor choice in vocabulary.

15. Apparently, despite being broke, they somehow had $250,000 laying around to advertise.

I guess this county's officials weren't known for having any dollars or sense. Yeah, spending $250,000 to advertise being broke. That'll surely go well with the citizenry who'll probably vote some of these people out next Election Day.

I guess this county’s officials weren’t known for having any dollars or sense. Yeah, spending $250,000 to advertise being broke. That’ll surely go well with the citizenry who’ll probably vote some of these people out next Election Day.

16. Utah paperboy gets attacked by a goat of the Dark Lord.

Looking at this headline, the kid being attacked by a goat isn't the most surprising thing here. My question would be: who the hell names their goat Voldemort? Seriously.

Looking at this headline, the kid being attacked by a goat isn’t the most surprising thing here. My question would be: who the hell names their goat Voldemort? Seriously.

17. Doctors never said he would walk again, they were right.

Sure it's a realistic story. But it's not what people want to read about since stories like this usually end up with the person walking again. This is a letdown.

Sure it’s a realistic story. But it’s not what people want to read about since stories like this usually end up with the person walking again. This is a letdown.

18. Sure it’ll kill you but arsenic in water is nothing to worry about.

Uh, arsenic in water is a big problem. It's poisonous. It kills people. Whoever's in charge of the Water Authority in that neck of the woods out to be fired.

Uh, arsenic in water is a big problem. It’s poisonous. It kills people. Whoever’s in charge of the Water Authority in that neck of the woods out to be fired.

19. Sometimes painting something in camouflage makes it hard to find.

Even better is that it was from Australia and cost $74,000. That can't be good, especially considering the taxpayers who paid for it.

Even better is that it was from Australia and cost $74,000. That can’t be good, especially considering the taxpayers who paid for it.

20. Unfortunately, Florida strip clubs don’t accept that kind of pussy.

This man must be nuts. I mean calling 911 after your cat's denied entry into a strip club? Who the hell does that? Most public establishments don't allow pets anyway.

This man must be nuts. I mean calling 911 after your cat’s denied entry into a strip club? Who the hell does that? Most public establishments don’t allow pets anyway.

21. Fruit truck crashes, creates jam.

So was it a traffic jam or a fruit jam? Sometimes it's hard to tell in such headlines.

So was it a traffic jam or a fruit jam? Sometimes it’s hard to tell in such headlines.

22. When there’s smoke, there’s fire. When there’s condensation, there’s no fire.

Apparently, these fire crews don't seem to know the difference between clouds or smoke. Then again sometimes it's hard to tell.

Apparently, these fire crews don’t seem to know the difference between clouds or smoke. Then again sometimes it’s hard to tell.

23. So can you be more specific?

Yes, dead bodies are found in cemeteries because that's where people put them. Then again, this grave yard seemed to have a corpse too many.

Yes, dead bodies are found in cemeteries because that’s where people put them. Then again, this grave yard seemed to have a corpse too many.

24. Man tries to rob a gun store with a knife.

Guess this guy was planning some armed robbery at some point. Still, why he'd go in there with one is a mystery.

Guess this guy was planning some armed robbery at some point. Still, a gun store would be the last place anyone would want to rob.

25. Well, sometimes mailboxes and poop boxes can have a lot of similarities in the UK.

At least that explains why his friends have been complaining about not getting in touch. Still, the poo box is marked with an obvious sign.

At least that explains why his friends have been complaining about not getting in touch. Still, the poo box is marked with an obvious sign.

26. Remember, Amish kids, practice buggy safety and don’t drink and drive.

Makes you wonder how many horse drawn accidents were caused by intoxication. Probably a lot. Also, thought Amish people didn't drink.

Makes you wonder how many horse drawn accidents were caused by intoxication. Probably a lot. Also, thought Amish people didn’t drink.

27. Earthquake damage mostly caused by shaking.

Obviously everyone knows that. Why do you think earthquakes are so destructive that California cities have to come with new construction methods.

Obviously everyone knows that. Why do you think earthquakes are so destructive that California cities have to come with new construction methods.

28. How about never talk to police because they’re dead.

The reasons why homicide victims don't talk to cops are obvious. Because dead men tell no tales. Yet, newspapers still print such shit like this.

The reasons why homicide victims don’t talk to cops are obvious. Because dead men tell no tales. Yet, newspapers still print such shit like this.

29. After morgue shooting spree, 17 remain dead.

However, I don't think "remain" is a good word choice when you're talking about those killed in a morgue shooting spree. Because most people in morgues are usually dead on arrival.

However, I don’t think “remain” is a good word choice when you’re talking about those killed in a morgue shooting spree. Because most people in morgues are usually dead on arrival.

30. Well, of course you’re going to find weapons if you raid a gun store.

Couldn't they just say the Feds raided a gun shop. You don't have to be more specific.

Couldn’t they just say the Feds raided a gun shop. You don’t have to be more specific.

31. Make lemons juicier with cow piss.

That is one of the most disgusting things I've ever heard. Then again, they might be referring to using cow piss on lemon trees, not lemons.

That is one of the most disgusting things I’ve ever heard. Then again, they might be referring to using cow piss on lemon trees, not lemons.

32. Guess somebody in Sports had keyboard trouble.

Looks like it was keyboard trouble to me. Wonder what caused that jam.

Looks like it was keyboard trouble to me. Wonder what caused that jam.

33. Well, at least the red tape is holding the bridge.

Sorry, but the new bridge hasn't been constructed yet due to it being held up in red tape. My mistake.

Sorry, but the new bridge hasn’t been constructed yet due to it being held up in red tape. My mistake.

34. Something seems to be missing in this headline because it doesn’t paint a great picture for Belmullet.

When one hears, "Massive Blow Jobs for Belmullet," it's not a family friendly picture. In fact, quite the contrary.

When one hears, “Massive Blow Jobs for Belmullet,” it’s not a family friendly picture. In fact, quite the contrary.

35. Apparently, his pant pockets had refrigeration.

Now that's a bad place to keep an ice cream sandwich. Seriously, all that does is lead to a huge mess since ice cream melts.

Now that’s a bad place to keep an ice cream sandwich. Seriously, all that does is lead to a huge mess since ice cream melts.

36. Man assaulted by dildo in home invasion but dog killed.

Sure home invasions resulting in pets getting killed are scary. Home invasions involving sex toys though, just so hard to take seriously. But perhaps a dildo can be a deadly weapon.

Sure home invasions resulting in pets getting killed are scary. Home invasions involving sex toys though, just so hard to take seriously. But perhaps a dildo can be a deadly weapon.

37. I think this school might need to find a new mascot.

Apparently, who ever wrote this headline has no idea what "jack off" means. Hint: it has nothing to do with basketball.

Apparently, who ever wrote this headline has no idea what “jack off” means. Hint: it has nothing to do with basketball.

38. I thought it dropped off earlier than that.

Well, of course, teen pregnancy drops off significantly at that point. Because when a woman is pregnant at 25, she's not a teenager.

Well, of course, teen pregnancy drops off significantly at that point. Because when a woman is pregnant at 25, she’s not a teenager.

39. Rabid dear kicks woman in the face.

Unlike what people usually think about deer, they are not like Bambi. Also, a deer doesn't have to be rabid to attack people.

Unlike what people usually think about deer, they are not like Bambi. Also, a deer doesn’t have to be rabid to attack people.

40. Best man wounded by flying dildo at wedding.

It's one thing to be left bleeding from anything. But it's utterly embarrassing to sustain a dildo injury.

It’s one thing to be left bleeding from anything. But it’s utterly embarrassing to sustain a dildo injury.

41. Joint committee debates marijuana issue.

I think it has something to do with the government and legalization. And no, I don't think they were toking a joint either.

I think it has something to do with the government and legalization. And no, I don’t think they were toking a joint either.

42. Apparently, male Republicans have been rather insecure about their masculinity these days.

Actually, I don't think it has more with Obama's policies. But seeing how the Republican Party has been acting up these days, you have to wonder.

Actually, I don’t think it has more with Obama’s policies. But seeing how the Republican Party has been acting up these days, you have to wonder.

43. Well, isn’t anybody?

Of course, Diana was still alive hours before she died. That's not news to anybody.

Of course, Diana was still alive hours before she died. That’s not news to anybody.

44. Let’s hope this is metaphorically speaking.

Yes, I know A-Rod and Wang are baseball players. But the headline is so suggestive for some reason.

Yes, I know A-Rod and Wang are baseball players. But the headline is so suggestive for some reason.

45. Son of Westboro Baptist Church leader attacked by naked 500lb Man.

Reading it, it's almost like you're in the room. Not sure if I want to know how this went down.

Reading it, it’s almost like you’re in the room. Not sure if I want to know how this went down. Then again, it could be a joke.

46. Now what do we do about the homeless after they survived the winter?

Really? How about you know try to help them get homes. That might be a start.

Really? How about you know try to help them get homes. That might be a start.

47. I should’ve known that those Japanese scientists were a strange bunch.

To be fair, they're growing frog eyes and ears in a lab. But that's not how the headline reads.

To be fair, they’re growing frog eyes and ears in a lab. But that’s not how the headline reads.

48. Sometimes coming up with headlines can be harder than it looks.

Guess someone didn't think of a great headline at the time. And went with that. Doesn't really capture the story, does it?

Guess someone didn’t think of a great headline at the time. And went with that. Doesn’t really capture the story, does it?

49. Man shot after cops saw a suspiciously small package in his underwear. That must be embarrassing.

I guess the package seemed to contain something like drugs. Still, it reads like the guy was shot for not being well endowed.

I guess the package seemed to contain something like drugs. Still, it reads like the guy was shot for not being well endowed.

50. One armed man always appreciates the kindness of strangers.

Since he can't really carry some stuff himself. Because he has one arm and it's tough living with that.

Since he can’t really carry some stuff himself. Because he has one arm and it’s tough living with that.

51. Seems like the penis enlarger wasn’t exactly what this guy expected.

I think this guy was pranked for some reason. Then again, if he wants his junk to look bigger, a magnifying glass is perfect for him.

I think this guy was pranked for some reason. Then again, if he wants his junk to look bigger, a magnifying glass is perfect for him.

52. Chinese zoo tries to pass hairy dog as lion to save money.

Uh, excuse me, but that does not look like a lion to me. Why did the Chinese zoo think that they'd get away with this?

Uh, excuse me, but that does not look like a lion to me. Why did the Chinese zoo think that they’d get away with this?

53. Unfortunately, even muggers want the newest cell phones these days.

I find that hard to believe. I've been using a flip phone for years and I don't complain.

I find that hard to believe. I’ve been using a flip phone for years and I don’t complain.

54. Russian bears get high on jet fuel.

Sure the jet fuel isn't good for the bears. But they seem to have a great time nonetheless.

Sure the jet fuel isn’t good for the bears. But they seem to have a great time nonetheless.

55. Man kicks burning terrorist in the balls, suffers ankle injury.

It's a miracle he didn't suffer anything worse than that. This is especially when you consider that the terrorist was on fire.

It’s a miracle he didn’t suffer anything worse than that. This is especially when you consider that the terrorist was on fire.

56. Mayor to homeless: go home.

Uh, how do you expect the homeless to go home? Because they don't have one.

Uh, how do you expect the homeless to go home? Because they don’t have one. This guy’s a turd.

57. Well, you should expect that some horny ghost might be haunting places.

After all, I've seen Harry Potter and Ghostbusters. It shouldn't be an unusual thing.

After all, I’ve seen Harry Potter and Ghostbusters. It shouldn’t be an unusual thing. So I guess this Kevin is too friendly.

58. Lawyer killer receives new attorney.

Guess the guy wasn't satisfied with the first lawyer. Hope the second one works out.

Guess the guy wasn’t satisfied with the first lawyer. Hope the second one works out.

59. Apparently not at this newspaper.

For some reason, there's a reporter out there who doesn't know how to spell Mississippi. This one is missing an "s" or two.

For some reason, there’s a reporter out there who doesn’t know how to spell Mississippi. This one is missing an “s” or two.

60. Dwarf sues grocer for belittling remarks.

Somehow this paper isn't helping its case by using the term "midget." Dwarves find the term derogatory.

Somehow this paper isn’t helping its case by using the term “midget.” Dwarves find the term derogatory.

61. For a psychic, you’d think she see this coming.

Considering that it was her second arrest. Yet, she didn't seem to see beyond that.

Considering that it was her second arrest. Yet, she didn’t seem to see beyond that.

62. Looks like ninjas want their stash, too.

And to think they were attacking a medical marijuana man, too. Also, what's the deal with ninjas in California?

And to think they were attacking a medical marijuana man, too. Also, what’s the deal with ninjas in California?

63. When naming your organization, make sure it doesn’t result in an unfortunate acronym.

In this context, MILF stands for Moro Islamic Liberation Front which is an Islamist terrorist group in the Philippines. In America, "MILF" is a term that's applied somewhat differently like in porn.

In this context, MILF stands for Moro Islamic Liberation Front which is an Islamist terrorist group in the Philippines. In America, “MILF” is a term that’s applied somewhat differently like in porn.

64. Looks like someone is finally cracking down on the pigeon racket.

Gambling in pigeon races? First off, how is pigeon racing even a thing? Second, people bet on them?

Gambling in pigeon races? First off, how is pigeon racing even a thing? Second, people bet on them?

65. Squirrel causes power outage and water shortage.

Yes, I know this is a funny news headline. But it's in bold type since it caused a breach in the power lines in Tampa. It wasn't funny to the people of Tampa.

Yes, I know this is a funny news headline. But it’s in bold type since it caused a breach in the power lines in Tampa. It wasn’t funny to the people of Tampa.

66. I thought nudists would welcome this sort of thing.

Oh, they're erecting towers. But still, that's a poor word choice there. "Building" might've been better.

Oh, they’re erecting towers. But still, that’s a poor word choice there. “Building” might’ve been better.

67. Residents, keep your guard and beware of the otters.

Yes, otters are a menace so try to avoid devastation by this ravenous animal. For God's sake, I can't take this headline seriously.

Yes, otters are a menace so try to avoid devastation by this ravenous animal. For God’s sake, I can’t take this headline seriously.

68. Apparently, there are some people who think he stinks.

Yes, his name is Colon. And yes, I assume he had to overcome a lot of obstacles to get to where he is. Because he has a very unfortunate last name.

Yes, his name is Colon. And yes, I assume he had to overcome a lot of obstacles to get to where he is. Because he has a very unfortunate last name.

69. Lesbian dressed as sumo wrestler assaults ex-girlfriend.

Have to imagine what happened here. I know it's not something to joke about. But the costumes make it hard to take the story seriously.

Have to imagine what happened here. I know it’s not something to joke about. But the costumes make it hard to take the story seriously.

70. Turns out, cats understand us but don’t really care.

And for the record, neither do dogs. But dogs seem to hide it better. Still, this is pretty funny.

And for the record, neither do dogs. But dogs seem to hide it better. Still, this is pretty funny.

71. Clearly, there have been a lot of state prison breakouts lately.

Well, why they'd have easy-open locks in a prison is beyond me. Because crooks could easily break out in them.

Well, why they’d have easy-open locks in a prison is beyond me. Because crooks could easily break out in them.

72. Utah Poison Center tells everyone don’t take poison.

I guess this is something everyone should know anyway. But don't really seem to. Wonder why.

I guess this is something everyone should know anyway. But don’t really seem to. Wonder why.

73. Sorry, kids, but it turns out Pooh and the Abominable Snowman aren’t so nice after all.

Okay, that picture probably has nothing to do with the story. But since it appears below a headline, it makes one suspicious.

Okay, that picture probably has nothing to do with the story. But since it appears below a headline, it makes one suspicious.

74. Seems like this city has no idea that sewers are supposed to smell.

Once again, whoever came up with this headline should be more specific like in how the sewer smells. Because if it smells like human waste and other garbage, then it's nothing of concern.

Once again, whoever came up with this headline should be more specific like in how the sewer smells. Because if it smells like human waste and other garbage, then it’s nothing of concern.

75. Russian sex lizards die in space orbit.

Sex geckos? You have to be serious? Russians were sending geckos to explore their sex lives in space. Yeah, that's ridiculous.

Sex geckos? You have to be serious? Russians were sending geckos to explore their sex lives in space. Yeah, that’s ridiculous.

76. Deer with big rack turns out to be a doe in Iowa.

Yes, this happens but not too often that it's a big deal. My neighbor's dad caught a doe with antlers once. But I think "antlers" would've been a better word choice than "rack."

Yes, this happens but not too often that it’s a big deal. My neighbor’s dad caught a doe with antlers once. But I think “antlers” would’ve been a better word choice than “rack.”

77. Apparently, these threats are getting out of hand.

Looks like the threats are screwing up everything here. Even when it comes to talking about them.

Looks like the threats are screwing up everything here. Even when it comes to talking about them.

78. Drunk man eats underwear to beat breathalyzer.

And no, the underwear wasn't edible either. Nevertheless, please don't try this at home. It's stupid.

And no, the underwear wasn’t edible either. Nevertheless, please don’t try this at home. It’s stupid.

79. Apparently, flatulence can bring down your opera singing career.

Then again, given how opera is about tragic subjects, farting can be distracting. Still, it's pretty funny.

Then again, given how opera is about tragic subjects, farting can be distracting. Still, it’s pretty funny.

80. Seems that things have been slowing down faster than ever before.

Yes, I know that it's trying to describe some economic function. But it seems quite ironic in description.

Yes, I know that it’s trying to describe some economic function. But it seems quite ironic in description.

81. Remember, kids, don’t try to take a selfie with a rattlesnake or you’ll end up like this guy.

Let me guess, guy got bit by rattlesnake so he might lose a hand? And because he wanted to take a selfie with it. Can people be that stupid?

Let me guess, guy got bit by rattlesnake so he might lose a hand? And because he wanted to take a selfie with it. Can people be that stupid?

82. Unfortunately, angry management classes aren’t 100% effective.

Yes, a stabbing erupted during an anger management class. And it seems someone might need an intervention or be held down.

Yes, a stabbing erupted during an anger management class. And it seems someone might need an intervention or be held down.

83. Woman has been missing since lost.

Well, isn't that obvious? Don't lost people end up missing? What about a specific time frame?

Well, isn’t that obvious? Don’t lost people end up missing? What about a specific time frame?

84. Yes, the sewage killed fish, but the water is still safe to drink.

If a sewage spill leads to fish dying, then the water is surely not safe to drink. Get a freaking clue.

If a sewage spill leads to fish dying, then the water is surely not safe to drink. Get a freaking clue.

85. Sick policy now requires a 2 day notice.

So how do you plan on being sick? Oh, wait you don't. Seriously, that policy defies all logic behind the concept of being sick.

So how do you plan on being sick? Oh, wait you don’t. Seriously, that policy defies all logic behind the concept of being sick.

86. Apparently, the murderer feels like the detective ruined his good name.

Of course, the detective wouldn't have done so had the murderer not killed somebody. The only thing the detective did was gather evidence that he did it which is their job.

Of course, the detective wouldn’t have done so had the murderer not killed somebody. The only thing the detective did was gather evidence that he did it which is their job.

87. According to the Feds, fish need water.

We've known that forever. Because fish are practically swimming in it. This is not news.

We’ve known that forever. Because fish are practically swimming in it. This is not news.

88. Aren’t psychics supposed to predict the future instead of state the obvious?

Seems like these psychics aren't doing their job. Because we already know the world didn't end yesterday.

Seems like these psychics aren’t doing their job. Because we already know the world didn’t end yesterday.

89. Bullied? Act less gay, teachers say.

This is pretty insulting because how could you act less gay? Besides, what do they mean by "acting gay?" It doesn't make sense.

This is pretty insulting because how could you act less gay? Besides, what do they mean by “acting gay?” It doesn’t make sense.

90. Break your hip in a hospital? Call an ambulance.

If you fall and injure yourself in the hospital, you shouldn't need to call an ambulance. Because the hospital is right there.

If you fall and injure yourself in the hospital, you shouldn’t need to call an ambulance. Because the hospital is right there.

91. Apparently, cemetery residents are making a comeback.

So does this mean there's a zombie infestation going on? Because that does not seem quite right for some reason.

So does this mean there’s a zombie infestation going on? Because that does not seem quite right for some reason.

92. Seems like otters are finding a new taste in mini-vans these days.

Like how they make the otter look so evil in this. Still, I don't think otters would snack on cars because they're much smaller than the smallest vehicles on the road.

Like how they make the otter look so evil in this. Still, I don’t think otters would snack on cars because they’re much smaller than the smallest vehicles on the road.

93. Holy shit, how could Rover be such a monster!

Another case where the article is next to the wrong picture. And they always thought Rover was a good boy.

Another case where the article is next to the wrong picture. And they always thought Rover was a good boy.

94. Apparently, an Illinois executive is going to be away for quite some time like forever.

When saying that an executive is entering witness protection, I don't think it's appropriate to display a picture of him. I mean they guy's in witness protection for a reason.

When saying that an executive is entering witness protection, I don’t think it’s appropriate to display a picture of him. I mean they guy’s in witness protection for a reason.

95. Don’t look now, but the Chinese might be hiding their subs in the sea.

Yeah, that's about as obvious as anything else. Not exactly what I'd call news because that's what submarines do.

Yeah, that’s about as obvious as anything else. Not exactly what I’d call news because that’s what submarines do.

96. New findings suggests that chance of rain may depend where you live.

But of course, you already know that since you learned about climate. Because rainfall is heavily dependent on that.

But of course, you already know that since you learned about climate. Because rainfall is heavily dependent on that.

97. Out of options, hospitals have now resorted to hiring doctors.

Which is exactly what hospitals do. Because that's where many doctors work.

Which is exactly what hospitals do. Because that’s where many doctors work.

98. Scientists now say that starvation can lead to health hazards.

Like malnutrition and death. Because without food, you'll waste away and die.

Like malnutrition and death. Because without food, you’ll waste away and die.

99. I’m afraid tacos aren’t an acceptable form of identification.

Then again, being drunk kind of explains it. Also the setting his car on fire which he'll regret.

Then again, being drunk kind of explains it. Also the setting his car on fire which he’ll regret.

100. Guy tries to buy toy poodles, buys ferrets instead.

Okay, that picture on the right does not look like a dog at all. How this guy couldn't tell the difference between a dog and a ferret, I don't understand.

Okay, that picture on the right does not look like a dog at all. How this guy couldn’t tell the difference between a dog and a ferret, I don’t understand.

Students Say the Darnedest Things

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Along with it being a month when most people take vacations, August also is prime time for back to school season or as the guy from that old Staples commercial, “the most wonderful time of the year.” So after family vacation, is back to school shopping where parents take their kids to buy the things they need for the new school year. So I thought a great way to commemorate the occasion would be a post on what students say on their tests  and  assignments. Sure you may have to wonder whether these kids are taking school seriously since most of these answers are wrong as far as the teachers are concerned. Yet, these are wrong in ways that they’re kind of funny. Some of them may be by students who’ve made honest mistakes like the younger kids. Some of them may be by complete smartasses or people who might’ve taken the question way too literally. But at any rate, I hope parents and teachers may enjoy these answers. So for your viewing pleasure, I show them to you.

  1. Explain how zookeepers use food to help the lives of animals.
Seems like this kid is trying to see what these zoo animals are like on the inside. Not sure if that's right though.

Seems like this kid is trying to see what these zoo animals are like on the inside. Not sure if that’s right though.

2. Of course, some people still write in the section when they’re told not to.

Yeah, you may only live once. But that' doesn't mean you should write "YOLO" where you shouldn't.

Yeah, you may only live once. But that’ doesn’t mean you should write “YOLO” where you shouldn’t.

3. Guess acronyms are harder to figure out than you originally thought.

No, I don't think PEMDAS means "Pleas Excuse My Dope Ass Swag." It's more like "Please Excuse My Dear Aunt Sally" or parenthesis, equation, multiplication, division, addition, and subtraction. It's a formula in algebra.

No, I don’t think PEMDAS means “Pleas Excuse My Dope Ass Swag.” It’s more like “Please Excuse My Dear Aunt Sally” or parenthesis, equation, multiplication, division, addition, and subtraction. It’s a formula in algebra.

4. Explain the temperature and how it relates to the football and basketball.

Then again, I wouldn't blame the kid for the answer. Mostly because this was a lame ass question which gives no information about the basketball.

Then again, I wouldn’t blame the kid for the answer. Then again, it would be funnier if the kid drew anything relating to the New England Patriots and deflated footballs.

5. Seems like a Dalek exterminated a child’s math homework answer.

Yeah, if I could figure out the area of the rectangle, I could've solved for x. Then again, the kid was probably watching too much Doctor Who.

Yeah, if I could figure out the area of the rectangle, I could’ve solved for x. Then again, the kid was probably watching too much Doctor Who.

6. Moving on to history on Martin Luther King Jr.’s “I Have a Dream” speech, what was his dream?

No, I don't think his dream had anything to do with working at Taco Bell. It had more to do with racial equality as well as ending segregation and other racist policies.

No, I don’t think his dream had anything to do with working at Taco Bell. It had more to do with racial equality as well as ending segregation and other racist policies.

7. Seems like this kid didn’t even bother to answer the physics question.

No, I don't think the problem has anything to do with Bruce Wayne being Batman. You don't need calculus to solve that.

No, I don’t think the problem has anything to do with Bruce Wayne being Batman. You don’t need calculus to solve that.

8. Apparently, Frankie is an honest child, maybe too honest.

Funny how this kid already knows what the world "freeloader" means. They grow up so fast.

Funny how this kid already knows what the world “freeloader” means. They grow up so fast. Or his parents are Ayn Rand libertarians.

9. Sometimes a student really wants extra credit when there is none.

Sorry, but this teacher doesn't negotiate with terrorists. And no, intimidation is no way to get extra credit.

Sorry, but this teacher doesn’t negotiate with terrorists. And no, intimidation is no way to get extra credit.

10. Apparently, the octopus seemed to come out of nowhere.

So the kid couldn't answer the question due to the octopus being in the way. Don't think the teacher bought it.

So the kid couldn’t answer the question due to the octopus being in the way. Don’t think the teacher bought it.

11. I believe this question was framed in a scientific context.

Besides, Communism only benefits everyone on paper. In practice, however, not so much as demonstrated with Russia.

Besides, Communism only benefits everyone on paper. In practice, however, not so much as demonstrated with Russia.

12. No, I don’t think sex ed is an ideal place to draw a cougar.

Even freakier is how the kid drew the eyes at the ovaries and used the rest of the uterus as a snout. Yeah, have to wonder about that kid.

Even freakier is how the kid drew the eyes at the ovaries and used the rest of the uterus as a snout. Yeah, have to wonder about that kid.

13. In geometry, all lines and shapes have meaning.

Sorry, kid, that's not how geometry works. But at least they got the line names right.

Sorry, kid, that’s not how geometry works. But at least they got the line names right.

14. Don’t judge and elementary school kid by their lack of grammar and spelling.

Yeah, I know it sounds dirtier than it should be. But the kid was talking about riding their bike for God's sake.

Yeah, I know it sounds dirtier than it should be. But the kid was talking about riding their bike for God’s sake.

15. In a student paper, you might find an occasional curse word.

I believe the term is "apeshit" in this case. Not sure what this question is really about anyway.

I believe the term is “apeshit” in this case. Not sure what this question is really about anyway.

16. Okay, that’s a bit too graphic for a presentation.

Hey, the kid's right. But that doesn't mean they should show it in graphic stick figure detail.

Hey, the kid’s right. But that doesn’t mean they should show it in graphic stick figure detail.

17. I believe it’s < or >, not “or.”

Someone doesn't seem to be following directions. Or just doesn't seem to care at any point.

Someone doesn’t seem to be following directions. Or just doesn’t seem to care at any point.

18. Someone doesn’t seem to understand their chemistry or pop culture.

No, that's not how thermodynamics or enzymes work. But the teacher did say, "nice try."

No, that’s not how thermodynamics or enzymes work. But the teacher did say, “nice try.”

19. So what happens to a boy going through puberty, according to this kid?

No, I don't think a boy enters adultery during puberty. But that's a nice plot summary to The Graduate.

No, I don’t think a boy enters adultery during puberty. But that’s a nice plot summary to The Graduate.

20. Apparently, science hasn’t been on this kid’s mind at the moment.

Sorry, but a science essay question isn't the place for such a personal insight. Still funny though.

Sorry, but a science essay question isn’t the place for such a personal insight. Still funny though.

21. Looks like a walrus found its way into this kid’s homework book.

At least this kid believes that global warming is real unlike a lot of Republican congressmen. Also, that's a nice walrus drawing.

At least this kid believes that global warming is real unlike a lot of Republican congressmen. Also, that’s a nice walrus drawing.

22. No, I don’t think the Eye of Sauron has anything to do with wearing a seatbelt.

Seems like Alex might be a little too into Lord of the Rings. Teacher is not amused.

Seems like Alex might be a little too into Lord of the Rings. Teacher is not amused.

23. Sorry, kid, but this is science class, not English Lit.

I believe the correct answer is the electromagnetic force since it's stronger than gravity. But that's just relating to the laws of physics.

I believe the correct answer is the electromagnetic force since it’s stronger than gravity. But that’s just relating to the laws of physics.

24. Sometimes one kid unscrambles the wrong word.

I believe the word is supposed to be "this." But it does have the same letters as "shit" just in a different arrangement.

I believe the word is supposed to be “this.” But it does have the same letters as “shit” just in a different arrangement.

25. Apparently, one student couldn’t get past their perception of Asian stereotypes to answer.

The correct answer is "D" the monthly car payment. Because it's at a fixed rate. Besides, a lot of Asians do drive. Get a grip, kid.

The correct answer is “D” the monthly car payment. Because it’s at a fixed rate. Besides, a lot of Asians do drive. Get a grip, kid.

26. Once again, spelling errors should be taken into consideration here.

I think the right word is "pencils" not "penis." Cora probably doesn't know what the latter term means by this point in her life. Because she's only in kindergarten.

I think the right word is “pencils” not “penis.” Cora probably doesn’t know what the latter term means by this point in her life. Because she’s only in kindergarten.

27. Describe a plant cell.

No, I don't think an imprisoned flower is what the teacher had in mind. Perhaps they should think of what they saw in their science book.

No, I don’t think an imprisoned flower is what the teacher had in mind. Perhaps they should think of what they saw in their science book.

28. List 4 ways people communicate other than through mail.

Well, all answers are technically correct. However, the Grindr one is pretty disturbing since it's a gay male dating site. Wonder where this kid learned about that.

Well, all answers are technically correct. However, the Grindr one is pretty disturbing since it’s a gay male dating site. Wonder where this kid learned about that.

29. The answer relating to the differences between the February and October Revolutions is simple.

The correct answer was that the February Revolution overthrew the Russian Royal family. The October Revolution saw the rise of the Bolsheviks. Either way, the kid wasn't completely wrong about the dates.

The correct answer was that the February Revolution overthrew the Russian Royal family (which actually took place in March but Russians still used the Julian Calendar). The October Revolution saw the rise of the Bolsheviks (which actually took place in November). So the kid is dead wrong either way.

30. What’s the highest noise frequency a human can register?

Not sure if Mariah Carey is right. But seems like this kid might feel that way.

Not sure if Mariah Carey is right. But seems like this kid might feel that way.

31. Someone doesn’t seem to like doing their math homework.

Not sure what some of this is supposed to say since it's written differently. But the hangman picture speaks for itself.

Not sure what some of this is supposed to say since it’s written differently. But the hangman picture speaks for itself.

32. Sorry, but algebra isn’t a place for opinions.

Man, this kid is a real smart ass. And seems to get a lot of answers wrong in the process.

Man, this kid is a real smart ass. And seems to get a lot of answers wrong in the process.

33. I don’t think the teacher was thinking about that kind of transformer.

Then again, some people could only name such transformers like Optimus Prime. This teacher was thinking about something used at a power station.

Then again, some people could only name such transformers like Optimus Prime. This teacher was thinking about something used at a power station.

34. How long does it take a jumping armadillo to land on its feet?

Sorry, kid, but armadillos do jump when startled. But not 18 feet unlike what the problem says.

Sorry, kid, but armadillos do jump when startled. But not 18 feet unlike what the problem says.

35. Describe hidden curriculum.

Well, that's one way of answering the question. But not exactly what the teacher was looking for.

Well, that’s one way of answering the question. But not exactly what the teacher was looking for.

36. Name one measure to prevent flooding in the Mississippi River Valley.

No, I don't think "big dames" is going to solve that problem. Then again, the kid might've meant, "big dams." But that didn't protect against Katrina in 2005.

No, I don’t think “big dames” is going to solve that problem. Then again, the kid might’ve meant, “big dams.” But that didn’t protect against Katrina in 2005.

37. List 3 ways on why removing hedges is a bad idea.

1. Farmers keep cows in through fencing. 2. It's very unlikely cars would run into the fields unless it was under an enchantment or driven by a drunk driver. 3. Why do you care?

1. Farmers keep cows in through fencing. 2. It’s very unlikely cars would run into the fields unless it was under an enchantment or driven by a drunk driver. 3. Why do you care?

38. Describe a vibration.

Unfortunately, the Beach Boys hit, "Good Vibrations" has nothing to do with the science of sound. Was a great catchy song though.

Unfortunately, the Beach Boys hit, “Good Vibrations” has nothing to do with the science of sound. Was a great catchy song though.

39. When this girl grows up, she wants to be like her mommy.

Like how the mother added a letter explaining that she works at the Home Depot, not at a strip club. But I'm not sure if I really buy that because stripper moms do exist. And the picture seems to suggest the mother works at a strip club.

Like how the mother added a letter explaining that she works at the Home Depot, not at a strip club. But I’m not sure if I really buy that because stripper moms do exist. And the picture seems to suggest the mother works at a strip club.

40. Sketch a human body and locate the following glands.

Guess this was not what the teacher had in mind when it came to the endocrine system. But this kid sure has a talent for drawing.

Guess this was not what the teacher had in mind when it came to the endocrine system. But this kid sure has a talent for drawing.

41. In case I get this test wrong, here’s a picture of a giraffe.

Seems like the teacher appreciated it. Nevertheless, it probably didn't matter much.

Seems like the teacher appreciated it. Nevertheless, it probably didn’t matter much.

42. I believe this kid is talking about horses not whores.

Yes, it reads very funny in an adult's eyes. But this child just doesn't know how to spell horses and is not talking about prostitution.

Yes, it reads very funny in an adult’s eyes. But this child just doesn’t know how to spell horses and is not talking about prostitution.

43. How do you identify athlete’s foot?

In a way, yes. But athlete's foot is a fungal foot disease which doesn't look pretty.

In a way, yes. But athlete’s foot is a fungal foot disease which doesn’t look pretty.

44. Deserts are hot and cold so name a hot one and a cold one.

I believe the word was "desert" not dessert. But this kid doesn't seem to know the difference, apparently.

I believe the word was “desert” not dessert. But this kid doesn’t seem to know the difference, apparently.

45. Describe what an antonym means.

Antonym means opposite. It doesn't describe a person's name for crying out loud.

Antonym means opposite. It doesn’t describe a person’s name for crying out loud.

46. How did the Romans transport water?

The correct term is "aqueduct" not an "aqua duck." But I can see what the student might've gotten the idea.

The correct term is “aqueduct” not an “aqua duck.” But I can see what the student might’ve gotten the idea.

47. Why did Archimedes shout “Eureka” while in the bath?

No, it had something to do with buoyancy, kid. But I give some points on creativity.

No, it had something to do with buoyancy, kid. But I give some points on creativity.

48. Apparently, this kid views the uterus as some monster from a horror movie.

Sorry, but I don't think the female reproductive system works that way. But great drawing, though.

Sorry, but I don’t think the female reproductive system works that way. But great drawing, though.

49. You have to wonder what children are learning from their parents these days.

I guess the teacher will be writing to this child's parents sometime soon. Because I don't think that's a word that should be on a reading assignment.

I guess the teacher will be writing to this child’s parents sometime soon. Because I don’t think that’s a word that should be on a reading assignment.

50. Hope the teacher doesn’t fail this kid thanks to Borat.

Don't think Borat in his trademark swimsuit will have any effect here. Do the work.

Don’t think Borat in his trademark swimsuit will have any effect here. Do the work.

51. Sometimes students can be quite mean in their answers.

Just leave it with the water and trash thing, kid. Don't need to talk about the boy being chubby.

Just leave it with the water and trash thing, kid. Don’t need to talk about the boy being chubby.

52. Looks like someone has no idea about the states of matter.

Guess this kid wasn't entirely wrong when it came to New Jersey. Given what Bridgegate had to teach us. As for California, well, LA is not known for having a lot of movement on the freeways.

Guess this kid wasn’t entirely wrong when it came to New Jersey. Given what Bridgegate had to teach us. As for California, well, LA is not known for having a lot of movement on the freeways.

53. No, I don’t think this kid has any idea about bestiality.

Still, they got the question wrong at any rate. But it's still pretty funny if you're an adult.

Still, they got the question wrong at any rate. But it’s still pretty funny if you’re an adult.

54. Honestly, the kid wants to eat cake. Seriously.

Please give these students slack here. They don't seem to spell words right or have the best handwriting. So sometimes the words may come out wrong.

Please give these students slack here. They don’t seem to spell words right or have the best handwriting. So sometimes the words may come out wrong.

55. When it comes to US Capitalism, sometimes students can have rather interesting theories.

This was written by a college student. Apparently, he describes how America was ruled by Prince Charles and how Osama Bin Laden killed Tupac and how Saddam Hussein killed Princess Di. Yeah, it's that bad.

This was written by a college student. Apparently, he describes how America was ruled by Prince Charles and how Osama Bin Laden killed Tupac and how Saddam Hussein killed Princess Di. Yeah, it’s that bad.

56. He may be good at chemistry but he has other things on his mind.

At least this guy doesn't neglect his studies by goofing off. However, the bonus one, kind of pushing the envelope.

At least this guy doesn’t neglect his studies by goofing off. However, the bonus one, kind of pushing the envelope.

57. Apparently, stick figure violence doesn’t intimidate this teacher.

Well, I would give him credit on the Pacman answer even though the correct answer is a solid. However, not sure about the stick Indian.

Well, I would give him credit on the Pacman answer even though the correct answer is a solid. However, not sure about the stick Indian.

58. No, I don’t think Pikachu’s thundershock will make you ace this test.

However, it does look pretty good even if it's not finished. But the teacher won't be amused.

However, it does look pretty good even if it’s not finished. But the teacher won’t be amused.

59. Seems like Aaron Rodgers might want to stay out of the woods until his career’s over.

According to this kid, bears eat Green Bay Packers. So Rodgers better watch his back.

According to this kid, bears eat Green Bay Packers. So Rodgers better watch his back.

60. No, I don’t think El Nino is that dramatic, but Jeremy’s essay would make a great disaster movie.

This guy talks about El Nino like it's Clash of the Titans. No, Jeremy, that's not how it works.

This guy talks about El Nino like it’s Clash of the Titans. No, Jeremy, that’s not how it works.

61. Explain the Madisonian model of government.

No, that's not quite it. Seems more like Stand Your Ground to me.

No, that’s not quite it. Seems more like Stand Your Ground to me. Perhaps they should elaborate more.

62. Well, at least the kid isn’t failing health class.

Sure the correct answer might be 2. But it's super hard to argue that this kid is wrong. They did the math.

Sure the correct answer might be 2. But it’s super hard to argue that this kid is wrong. They did the math.

63. Sorry, Matthew but Charizard is no match for Blastoise.

Teacher knows what they're talking about. Guess math isn't Matthew's thing.

Teacher knows what they’re talking about. Guess calculus isn’t Matthew’s thing.

64. Seems like someone has been watching too much of the History Channel.

No, aliens aren't responsible for everything. Seriously, it's bullshit on the History Channel which hasn't been known for its educational programming.

No, aliens aren’t responsible for everything. Seriously, it’s bullshit on the History Channel which hasn’t been known for its educational programming.

65. I have to agree this kid has a point.

Sure they may know the right answer. But they added it may not be the case since amputees exist.

Sure they may know the right answer. But they added it may not be the case since amputees exist.

66. If your answers aren’t correct, you can always count on Perry the Platypus.

And it seems like Perry helped. Then again, it was probably due to the student's own efforts.

And it seems like Perry helped. Then again, it was probably due to the student’s own efforts.

67. At times you kind of wish you’d answer an essay question like this.

Yeah, I kind of feel the same way when it comes to stories I had to read that I wasn't emotionally invested in. But that's what school is like sometimes.

Yeah, I kind of feel the same way when it comes to stories I had to read that I wasn’t emotionally invested in. But that’s what school is like sometimes.

68. Sorry, but Darth Vader is from Star Wars not Star Trek.

Sure Vader has a deep voice but he's not a Star Trek character. Saying he's from Star Trek will result in a sci-fi convention in furor.

Sure Vader has a deep voice but he’s not a Star Trek character. Saying he’s from Star Trek will result in a sci-fi convention in furor.

69. Apparently, this diagram doesn’t show the nice side of giraffes.

You kind of get the idea that this kid saw how giraffes were heartless creatures. Then again, sometimes nature is like that.

You kind of get the idea that this kid saw how giraffes were heartless creatures. Then again, maybe the short neck giraffe should’ve found another tree.

70. Could a man still reproduce with one ball?

While not entirely wrong, this answer isn't entirely right either. Because even if a guy has a testicle, he could still reproduce. (as long as it's functional).

While not entirely wrong, this answer isn’t entirely right either. Because even if a guy has a testicle, he could still reproduce. (as long as it’s functional).

71. Describe hard water.

I don't think that's what the teacher had in mind. It probably has to do with chemical properties.

I don’t think that’s what the teacher had in mind. It probably has to do with mineral content.

72. Sorry but I don’t think Lady Gaga is a hermaphrodite.

Hope Lady Gaga doesn't get offended. Then again, I could see why that kid came up with that conclusion.

Hope Lady Gaga doesn’t get offended. Then again, I could see why that kid came up with that conclusion.

73. Write about a Chinese immigrant’s experience in the 1870s.

Well, that's one way to answer the question. However, not sure what my Chinese viewers will think about this.

Well, that’s one way to answer the question. However, not sure what my Chinese viewers will think about this.

74. I think many adults would say the same thing.

Kid seems to know their history, particularly what happened to Lincoln at Ford's Theatre. Yeah, I could see where they 're getting at.

Kid seems to know their history, particularly what happened to Lincoln at Ford’s Theatre. Yeah, I could see where they ‘re getting at.

75. Sometimes driver’s ed could have interesting characters.

Actually, night would be more appropriate. But this is still funny to read if you ask me.

Actually, night would be more appropriate. But this is still funny to read if you ask me.

76. No, that’s not how you describe a graph.

This kid seems to describe a graph like it's a work of art. It's not, it's way to display information.

This kid seems to describe a graph like it’s a work of art. It’s not, it’s way to display information.

77. Any Harry Potter fan would recognize the mark of the Deathly Hallows.

I might've said the same thing had I grew up with such a test. Still, Harry Potter doesn't have much place in geometry.

I might’ve said the same thing had I grew up with such a test. Still, Harry Potter doesn’t have much place in geometry.

78. Fill in the solution about falling down at the playground.

Well, at least that kid has a point. But they probably haven't heard about First Aid.

Well, at least that kid has a point. But they probably haven’t heard about First Aid.

79. Is Steve speeding? Yes or no.

Yes, Steve could find out on his speedometer but that's beside the point. The correct answer is yes.

Yes, Steve could find out on his speedometer but that’s beside the point. Do the math.

80. I’d have to wonder about this child.

I don't think a teenage death match on reality television is going to cut it. It may not be ethical.

I don’t think a teenage death match on reality television is going to cut it. It may not be ethical.

81. This bacterium is about to get funky.

Sorry, but bacteria don't break dance. Pretty hilarious though.

Sorry, but bacteria don’t break dance. Pretty hilarious though.

82. Sorry, I don’t think this teacher is amazed by rainbows, ponies, and turtles.

Still, those are great illustrations. But this is a biology test for God's sake.

Still, those are great illustrations. But this is a biology test for God’s sake.

83. Unfortunately, Jesus was not a Civil War hero.

Jesus lived in 1st Century Palestine during the Roman Empire. The American Civil War took place in the 1860s. And it wasn't between China and Pakistan.

Jesus lived in 1st Century Palestine during the Roman Empire. The American Civil War took place in the 1860s. And it wasn’t between China and Pakistan.

84. Mr. Gibson, I’m afraid that your child isn’t doing well in American History at the moment.

Like how the teacher said, "Are you crazy? See me." Yeah, that should be a red flag.

Like how the teacher said, “Are you crazy? See me.” Yeah, that should be a red flag.

85. I believe the correct term is “dwarf.”

This answer is quite crazy. I know you'd laugh if you heard something like that, too.

This answer is quite crazy. I know you’d laugh if you heard something like that, too.

86. Guess this kid couldn’t brainstorm verbs.

Guess this kid couldn't get that song out of their head. You've probably read it like that, too.

Guess this kid couldn’t get that song out of their head. You’ve probably read it like that, too.

87. Seems like someone doesn’t like failing a test.

I know a teacher would be freaked out by that image. Seems like someone is going to notify their parents.

I know a teacher would be freaked out by that image. Seems like someone is going to notify their parents.

88. I don’t think those were the heavy metal symbols your teacher was looking for.

This is chemistry class, not music class. Those heavy metal symbols are wrong. They should be element letters.

This is chemistry class, not music class. Those heavy metal symbols are wrong. They should be element letters.

89. This ninja will not tolerate a bad mark on this test.

The other ninja has a red pen. And the red pen is more powerful.

The other ninja has a red pen. And the red pen is more powerful.

90. Seems like this kid didn’t understand the question.

The correct answer is a park because it's an outdoor venue. But yes, you can't circle a tornado.

The correct answer is a park because it’s an outdoor venue. But yes, you can’t circle a tornado.

91. Sometimes asking kids to write a story to the problem is going way too far.

Yes, the answer is correct. But if a guy has more than one girlfriend at the same time, that's a problem.

Yes, the answer is correct. But if a guy has more than one girlfriend at the same time, that’s a problem.

92. The panda will cry if this kid gets a bad grade. Teacher doesn’t care.

Love the picture of the panda eating bamboo. But the kid should've studied their math before the test.

Love the picture of the panda eating bamboo. But the kid should’ve studied their math before the test.

93. No, I don’t think he got fired over something like that.

I guess the guy got fired because he got his science wrong such as warm air rises but cold air sinks. Not because he banged his boss's wife.

I guess the guy got fired because he got his science wrong such as warm air rises but cold air sinks. Not because he banged his boss’s wife.

94. Guess someone sees themselves as a cool bird.

Well, at least the kid is better at drawing than I am. But I don't think that's the right answer.

Well, at least the kid is better at drawing than I am. But I don’t think that’s the right answer.

95. Sorry, but this is chemistry not the Lion King.

But I can see where they got their answer. However, this doesn't mean the phrase means no worries for them.

But I can see where they got their answer. However, this doesn’t mean the phrase means no worries for them.

96. Ninja asks to give 100%.

And it seems like the kid got the grade plus 2 bonus points. The ninja did it.

And it seems like the kid got the grade plus 2 bonus points. The ninja did it.

97. In this kid’s world, bacon is always the answer.

Unless if it's referring to Jupiter. Because bacon has nothing to do with it.

Unless if it’s referring to Jupiter. Because bacon has nothing to do with it.

98. Why use milk when a child’s been poisoned?

No, I don't think so. But that's a close answer. It might have something to do with the poison's chemistry.

No, I don’t think so. But that’s a close answer. It might have something to do with the poison’s chemistry.

99. This kid is almost there on this long test.

And Gandalf seems to appear out of nowhere in red pen saying, "You shall not pass!" Poor kid.

And Gandalf seems to appear out of nowhere in red pen saying, “You shall not pass!” Poor kid.

100. Do not write your essay on this space.

There always seems to be that one student who breaks that rule. Hope it doesn't lead to getting points deducted.

There always seems to be that one student who breaks that rule. Hope it doesn’t lead to getting points deducted.

Bon Voyage Vacation Memories

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Here am I in one of the gardens at Richmond, Virginia’s Maymont in 2015 with my parents. This gilded age estate boasts an animal sanctuary, a Victorian mansion, gardens, and an arboretum. And yes, it takes all day to walk through it.

In the swing of the summer, August is usually the time when most people go on vacation. Well, at least in the United States anyway. Mostly because the summer vacation is winding down for the kids who will soon be back to school for the most part. Nevertheless, you will find a lot of people want to cherish such trips forever in their scrap books or photo albums so you have people wanting to take pictures of their family. Or they may want to use the vacation photos in their Christmas card. At any rate, I can show you so many great vacation photos from people’s travels. But you’d probably assume that they’re stock photos and probably not find them interesting. So instead, I’d go to Awkward Family Photos and show pictures that don’t depict precious memories as well as were probably taken at the wrong moment. If you think your vacation photos didn’t turn out right, I hope this post makes you feel better. Because it should.

  1. Greetings from Carnival Cruises!
And what better way to show it than by being photoshopped riding on a dolphin? Yeah, it's pretty obvious.

And what better way to show it than by being photoshopped riding on a dolphin? Yeah, it’s pretty obvious.

2. When you have to answer the call of nature, holding it in can’t wait.

Helps if you bring your own toilet. Yet, you still have to take your crap with you. Or bury it.

Helps if you bring your own toilet. Yet, you still have to take your crap with you. Or bury it.

3. Nothing makes a great family vacation photo like a picture in front of the Golden Gate Bridge.

However, you should always check if the photo shoot location is a nude beach before you take the picture. Else, you might end up with a full moon near the water.

However, you should always check if the photo shoot location is a nude beach before you take the picture. Else, you might end up with a full moon near the water.

4. Remember to always wear a life jacket when you’re on a boat. You’ll never know when it’ll come in handy.

Yeah, seems like we have someone who fell overboard on the rapids. Don't worry, Sadie, Mom's got you covered.

Yeah, seems like we have someone who fell overboard on the rapids. Don’t worry, Sadie, Mom’s got you covered.

5. “And here is the whole family at the hotel witnessing some guy being taken to the emergency room.”

Guy being taken into an ambulance: Not funny. Family posing for a vacation photo while a guy's being taken into an ambulance: hilarious.

Guy being taken into an ambulance: Not funny. Family posing for a vacation photo while a guy’s being taken into an ambulance: Hilarious.

6. Sometimes a Disney World wedding proposal can be so perfect, save for that one pesky tourist who got in the way.

Given that Disney is usually crowded as hell, you have to expect these things. Yeah, that's a photobomb to remember.

Given that Disney is usually crowded as hell, you have to expect these things. Yeah, that’s a photobomb to remember.

7. Travel to the wonderful picturesque scenery of LaCroaca Beach.

Apparently, this family came since they heard it was a "Super Fun Zone." Little did they know it was actually a "Superfund Zone." Very different connotation.

Apparently, this family came since they heard it was a “Super Fun Zone.” Little did they know it was actually a “Superfund Zone.” Very different connotation.

8. There’s nothing like spending a great vacation with your dad.

However, a father and son photo is not the kind of picture for an old man in a speedo. You can't unsee that.

However, a father and son photo is not the kind of picture for an old man in a speedo. You can’t unsee that.

9. “No, I don’t want to sit with the Squid Lady!”

Then again, I can't really blame the kid. That woman really looks like a sea monster coming after him.

Then again, I can’t really blame the kid. That woman really looks like a sea monster coming after him.

10. “On second thought, maybe taking Sparky with us wasn’t a good idea.”

Yeah, I don't think the dog should be sniffing up that woman's skirt. Really ruins the moment.

Yeah, I don’t think the dog should be sniffing up that woman’s skirt. Really ruins the moment.

11. Sometimes it helps to know what the animals are doing before taking pictures of young children at the zoo.

Apparently, the older brother has some fascination with Humping, Humping Hippos. As for the girl, well, she's probably watched enough nature shows to know what's going on.

Apparently, the older brother has some fascination with Humping, Humping Hippos. As for the girl, well, she’s probably watched enough nature shows to know what’s going on.

12. On the water, always try to hold onto the raft.

Or else you can go flying out of the boat or into the water. Luckily he has on his life jacket.

Or else you can go flying out of the boat or into the water. Luckily he has on his life jacket.

13. Here are the Hendersons in the cave with Perry the Polar Bear.

And it seems like Perry wants to take Mrs. Henderson and Leslie for a tasty meal afterwards. Then again, Perry may be some really gigantic and ugly Arctic Ferret for all I care.

And it seems like Perry wants to take Mrs. Henderson and Leslie for a tasty meal afterwards. Then again, Perry may be some really gigantic and ugly Arctic Ferret for all I care.

14. Apparently, Grandpa didn’t take to surfing very well.

Sure it's a photo op. But the grandfather really seems to be in distress here. Not a happy camper in the least.

Sure it’s a photo op. But the grandfather really seems to be in distress here. Not a happy camper in the least.

15. On Carnival Cruise Lines, you can have your picture taken with your favorite Latin American stereotype.

Seems like this family went with a Mexican bandito. And no, he don't need no stinkin' badges.

Seems like this family went with a Mexican bandito. And no, he don’t need no stinkin’ badges.

16. “Just let me finish this one level of Donkey Kong.”

I don't know about you. But I think when you're on vacation, best leave the video games at home. And definitely not play them on Splash Mountain.

I don’t know about you. But I think when you’re on vacation, best leave the video games at home. And definitely not play them on Splash Mountain.

17. “Son, it’s about time that I introduce you to the tradition of lederhozen.”

I have no idea why lederhozen exists. But this is certainly a picture this boy will certainly not want his classmates to see.

I have no idea why lederhozen exists. But this is certainly a picture this boy will certainly not want his classmates to see.

18. Despite what some parents think, sometimes you’re better off not getting your teenage children matching swimsuits.

This guy must be a brave man to wear a hot pink speedo. Guess this is what guys have to go through if they have sisters.

This guy must be a brave man to wear a hot pink speedo. Guess this is what guys have to go through if they have sisters.

19. Apparently, there was a massive Pooh epidemic in town.

In fact, there was Pooh everywhere as far as the eye can see. And we mean literally everywhere.

In fact, there was Pooh everywhere as far as the eye can see. And we mean literally everywhere.

20. Sometimes your destination may include interesting venue names.

This is a leather working shop. Hopefully, little Cindy doesn't understand what "Cow's Ass" means by this point.

This is a leather working shop. Hopefully, little Cindy doesn’t understand what “Cow’s Ass” means by this point.

21. Apparently, Mr. Grizzly was not in a good mood that day.

Well, at least there's a fence so the bear won't attack anybody. Then again, the fence doesn't seem that effective. Unless it's electric.

Well, at least there’s a fence so the bear won’t attack anybody. Then again, the fence doesn’t seem that effective. Unless it’s electric.

22. Seems like the Flanders family went to the sharks.

Relax, they were at an aquarium in North Carolina and got their picture there. Interesting, they chose a shark backdrop for it.

Relax, they were at an aquarium in North Carolina and got their picture there. Interesting, they chose a shark backdrop for it.

23. Since her was a pup, Rascal always wanted to see the Grand Canyon.

But once he got there, he wasn't impressed with the view. Nobody knows why.

But once he got there, he wasn’t impressed with the view. Nobody knows why.

24. Seems like Jimmy is enjoying the family trip to Hawaii this year.

Sorry, kid, but I'm afraid the hula girl's not interested. Don't take it personally.

Sorry, kid, but I’m afraid the hula girl’s not interested. Don’t take it personally.

25. Welcome to Arkansas where they all come fully loaded.

Let's hope this kid isn't holding a real assault rifle. Because this photo is incredibly disturbing. Really.

Let’s hope this kid isn’t holding a real assault rifle. Because this photo is incredibly disturbing. Really.

26. Unfortunately, some families are bound to experience some vacation dismemberment.

This is actually a botched attempt of a panorama picture. As you see, it did not go well at all.

This is actually a botched attempt of a panorama picture so no actual dismemberment took place. But looking at it…

27. There’s nothing better than a family vacation to Disney World which is the happiest place on earth.

The Sadlers seemed to think otherwise. From their faces, they probably became disappointed once they saw how long the lines were for the rides.

The Sadlers seemed to think otherwise. From their faces, they probably became disappointed once they saw how long the lines were for the rides.

28. You can’t have a family vacation without a soak in a Jacuzzi.

I see these kind of pictures a lot and they always seem awkward. A few of the guys can't hide their discomfort for the picture. No wonder.

I see these kind of pictures a lot and they always seem awkward. A few of the guys can’t hide their discomfort for the picture. No wonder.

29. “Honey, do you know where Travis is? You told me he was in the tent.”

In reality, the kid was on the tent, not in the tent. Still, someone get him off there.

In reality, the kid was on the tent, not in the tent. Still, someone get him off there.

30. Hop aboard the good ship, Hornblower Invader.

To be fair, there is a guy named Hornblower in literature who's a naval officer. But the name can sound so dirty that it just gives me giggles.

To be fair, there is a guy named Hornblower in literature who’s a naval officer. But the name can sound so dirty that it just gives me giggles.

31. Despite being seen as “the happiest place on earth,” we have to accept the fact that Disney World has an insidious dark side.

Oh, my God, Mickey, what the hell are you doing? You're supposed to hug and pose with children, not eat them! Never seen something so horrifying.

Oh, my God, Mickey, what the hell are you doing? You’re supposed to hug and pose with children, not eat them! Never seen something so horrifying.

32. Hop along the Wet Dream, kiddos.

Well, the word "wet dream" has another meaning. But I don't think it's something to tell the kids about till they're older.

Well, the word “wet dream” has another meaning. But I don’t think it’s something to tell the kids about till they’re older.

33. Now Lexie had understood what Jason meant when he talked about “the big one that got away.”

Seems like she's jealous that her boyfriend appears more interested in the fish than in her. I don't think she understands what he has with Big Mouth Billy Bass. And never will.

Seems like she’s jealous that her boyfriend appears more interested in the fish than in her. I don’t think she understands what he has with Big Mouth Billy Bass. And never will.

34. There are some people who love roller coaster rides, then there are people like this.

My dad is totally this girl when it comes to roller coasters. She'll be in for a wild ride.

My dad is totally this girl when it comes to roller coasters. She’ll be in for a wild ride.

35. When you wanted to go see Evanescence but are stuck with going to the family cabin instead.

That girl really stands out in this picture. Then again, you tend to have that with teenagers.

That girl really stands out in this picture. Then again, you tend to have that with teenagers. It’s part of life.

36. When camping, nobody puts baby in a corner but on a post.

Well, that's one way to keep an eye on the baby. Wonder if they had camping high chairs back then. Probably not.

Well, that’s one way to keep an eye on the baby. Wonder if they had camping high chairs back then. Probably not.

37. When naming a geographic location, make sure it doesn’t have unfortunate implications.

Honestly, she's not a hoe. That's just the name of the place. But you get the joke.

Honestly, she’s not a hoe. That’s just the name of the place. But you get the joke.

38. “Watch where you place your hand, Bobby!”

To be fair, the kid doesn't know any better. But yes, it's a very unfortunate placement that you don't want on a Christmas card.

To be fair, the kid doesn’t know any better. But yes, it’s a very unfortunate placement that you don’t want on a Christmas card.

39. Greetings from Park City Mountain Resort!

The place where sibling rivalries are known to intensify. Even on the ski lifts.

The place where sibling rivalries are known to intensify. Even on the ski lifts.

40. This is a great place to see a giant tortoise up close and personal.

In fairness, this seems to be photoshopped by some zoo. Yet, it begs the question why the place would have a mating turtle backdrop to begin with.

In fairness, this seems to be photoshopped by some zoo. Yet, it begs the question why the place would have a mating turtle backdrop to begin with.

41. Think deer are pleasant creatures? Think again.

Man, some animals just don't seem to know fear. Don't worry the girl only received a bruise.

Man, some animals just don’t seem to know fear. Don’t worry the girl only received a bruise.

42. There are some foods that are too much for a seagull to resist.

Then again, seagulls eat almost anything they could get their beaks on. But they especially like fish since they're coastal birds.

Then again, seagulls eat almost anything they could get their beaks on. But they especially like fish since they’re coastal birds.

43. For some reason, the squirrel wanted to smile for the camera.

At first this photo doesn't seem out of the ordinary. Until you see the squirrel facing the camera.

At first this photo doesn’t seem out of the ordinary. Until you see the squirrel facing the camera. Then you wonder if it’s nuts.

44. There are some couples’ vacation photos that beg the question, “Why?”

Guess these two wanted a photo together to embarrass their kids with someday. Future and otherwise.

Guess these two wanted a photo together to embarrass their kids with someday. Future and otherwise.

45. Recently, she’s become a magnet for macaws.

Kind of reminds me of those vintage bikini postcard photos for some reason. Then again, it's quite tame in comparison.

Kind of reminds me of those vintage bikini postcard photos for some reason. Then again, it’s quite tame in comparison.

46. “Hey, that wasn’t supposed to happen on the elephant ride!”

Guess this was how Dumbo was made. Bet Disney didn't show you that. Still, like how one guy seems excited about it.

Guess this was how Dumbo was made. Bet Disney didn’t show you that. Still, like how one guy seems excited about it.

47. Maybe they should’ve hired a better T-shirt designer for the family reunion.

That's a very unfortunate design. Guess the little kid just learned a new curse word.

That’s a very unfortunate design. Guess the little kid just learned a new curse word.

48. When driving around the animals, always keep your window up.

Talk about a traumatizing moment. Hope the boy is all right after that. And has brought a change of clothes.

Talk about a traumatizing moment. Hope the boy is all right after that. And has brought a change of clothes.

49. This old lady is like, “I never want to go on this ride again.”

Since this photo was taken on a water ride, I wouldn't blame her. But that look her face says it all.

Since this photo was taken on a water ride, I wouldn’t blame her. But that look her face says it all.

50.  Woodland scenery always makes a great romantic photo op.

Except when you see two bears mating in the background. Yes, that's what hot grizzly action looks like kids. No joke.

Except when you see two bears mating in the background. Yes, that’s what hot grizzly action looks like kids. No joke.

51. “Sorry, Grandma, but it’s for your own good.”

Pushing your granny off of Niagra Falls. It's the kind of touching family photo only the likes of Alfred Hitchcock would dream of making into a movie.

Pushing your granny off of Niagra Falls. It’s the kind of touching family photo only the likes of Alfred Hitchcock would dream of making into a movie.

52. That moment when you want to take a picture of your kids during nuclear testing.

You got to hope that photoshop was going on here. Otherwise, those kids might be doomed for all we know.

You got to hope that photoshop was going on here. Otherwise, those kids might be doomed for all we know.

53. “Excuse me, but could you take me and my cubs to the salmon spawning grounds?”

That has to make you shit your pants. Seriously, if a bear comes that close to you, stay in the car and drive off. Just do it.

That has to make you shit your pants. Seriously, if a bear comes that close to you, stay in the car and drive off. Just do it.

54. Nothing is more fun than pretending to be African tribesmen killing taxidermied animals.

I know this might be offensive to some people. But I think it's pretty funny. Besides, this picture was taken in the 1970s anyway.

I know this might be offensive to some people. But I think it’s pretty funny. Besides, this picture was taken in the 1970s anyway.

55. At Zakopane, dog sled rides are fun for the whole family.

However, that has to be someone in a polar bear suit. And it seems to have the body of an Abominable Snowman.

However, that has to be someone in a polar bear suit. And it seems to have the body of an Abominable Snowman.

56. “Aaaah! Giraffe Man in the water! Run for your lives!”

This is just too much. Like how everyone seems scared by a guy in a giraffe suit. And he's not nearly as scary as a maneating shark.

This is just too much. Like how everyone seems scared by a guy in a giraffe suit. And he’s not nearly as scary as a maneating shark.

57. When you’re hiking and are the one holding all the equipment.

Apparently, "share the load" doesn't apply to this guy for some reason. Can see why the woman appears to resent him. Hope she gets a free trip to a massage parlor afterwards.

Apparently, “share the load” doesn’t apply to this guy for some reason. Can see why the woman appears to resent him. Hope she gets a free trip to a massage parlor afterwards.

58. Nothing is scarier to children than a banjo playing gator.

Even funnier, that gator is nowhere near intimidating. But the kids are crying anyway.

Even funnier, that gator is nowhere near intimidating. But the kids are crying anyway.

59. Sometimes you never know who you’re going to meet on the road.

Yes, there's a biker gang nearby. No, I don't know if they're just there to admire the scenery. But it's pretty funny.

Yes, there’s a biker gang nearby. No, I don’t know if they’re just there to admire the scenery. But it’s pretty funny.

60. Introducing the “Dad Tan.”

Not sure if those are his tan lines or he doesn't know how to put on sunscreen correctly. Either way, he might need to apply the Aloe Vera.

Not sure if those are his tan lines or he doesn’t know how to put on sunscreen correctly. Either way, he might need to apply the Aloe Vera.

61. When it comes to meth, just let it go before this happens.

Elsa, what the hell happened to you? You look like hell. And you seem like you're in really deep shit, too.

Elsa, what the hell happened to you? You look like hell. And you seem like you’re in really deep shit, too.

62. Here is Tom taking a jump at the Grand Canyon.

Don't worry it's photoshopped. But it sure will freak out his parents.

Don’t worry it’s photoshopped. But it sure will freak out his parents.

63. Your first time on water skis could be a rather crazy experience.

This kid is holding his breath. Wouldn't really blame him either.

This kid is holding his breath. Wouldn’t really blame him either.

64. Sibling rivalry: sometimes it can start at a very young age.

This is bound to give your parents a heart attack. Then again, maybe the other kid lost balance.

This is bound to give your parents a heart attack. Then again, maybe the other kid lost balance.

65. “Aaah! There’s an ostrich at my window!”

I can understand why that woman is screaming. If an ostrich appeared at your car window, you'd feel the same way.

I can understand why that woman is screaming. If an ostrich appeared at your car window, you’d feel the same way.

66. Sometimes moments like these make you wish to have a vacation away from your embarrassing family.

Family vacations can be inescapable things sometimes. Particularly when to posing for crazy photo ops.

Family vacations can be inescapable things sometimes. Particularly when to posing for crazy photo ops.

67. “Who put tomato slices on my legs?”

If I were her, I'd be asking the same question. Then again, she was probably a prank target.

If I were her, I’d be asking the same question. Then again, she was probably a prank target.

68. For some reason, little Cassidy was different from the other girls.

Seems like she's looking a bit grizzly lately. Best to not get on her bad side for the time being.

Seems like she’s looking a bit grizzly lately. Best to not get on her bad side for the time being.

69. You always need a picture with giraffes on a zoo trip.

And I guess the trip became a rather educational experience for this young girl. Or at least when she saw what the giraffes were doing in the background.

And I guess the trip became a rather educational experience for this young girl. Or at least when she saw what the giraffes were doing in the background.

70. When photographing your kids near rocks, make sure they don’t have anything written on them.

Yeah, "get high" is not an appropriate message for children. But it's graffiti so it's not where it's supposed to be anyway.

Yeah, “get high” is not an appropriate message for children. But it’s graffiti so it’s not where it’s supposed to be anyway.

71. Someone wake up Grandma before she’s underwater.

Well, she certainly chose the wrong place to sit at the beach. Don't want to be at the tide.

Well, she certainly chose the wrong place to sit at the beach. Don’t want to be at the tide.

72. Seems like this place is having a ball.

Let's hope this little girl doesn't know what the word, "testicle" means. At least until she's older.

Let’s hope this little girl doesn’t know what the word, “testicle” means. At least until she’s older.

73. Seems like Maisy fell out of the plane.

Don't worry. Her mom and her sister have her. So she's fine. Seriously.

Don’t worry. Her mom and her sister have her. So she’s fine. Seriously.

74. Someone help her before she falls off a cliff.

Again, this is a photoshopped picture designed to freak out parents. But still, it's disturbing.

Again, this is a photoshopped picture designed to freak out parents. But still, it’s disturbing.

75. Someone doesn’t think that Tiggers are wonderful things.

For the girl hiding under the table, Tiggers are the stuff of nightmares. Of great, big, bouncy nightmares.

For the girl hiding under the table, Tiggers are the stuff of nightmares. Of great, big, bouncy nightmares.

76. How about a moon over Manhattan?

I didn't mean that kind of moon. But you can see the photographer was in for a big surprise when this picture developed.

I didn’t mean that kind of moon. But you can see the photographer was in for a big surprise when this picture developed.

77. Someone doesn’t seem to be enjoying their Caribbean vacation.

Then again, the guy's face totally seems photoshopped since he probably wasn't with his folks on the trip to begin with. Doesn't look right at all.

Then again, the guy’s face totally seems photoshopped since he probably wasn’t with his folks on the trip to begin with. Doesn’t look right at all.

78. When everyone’s exhausted on the trip and you’re wanting to see more.

Then again, the baby was probably tiring out the whole family. And might even cry just for the heck of it.

Then again, the baby was probably tiring out the whole family. And might even cry just for the heck of it.

79. This has to be a view from another world.

This is a beach where kids are on leashes and dogs run free. Hopefully the dogs are spayed or neutered.

This is a beach where kids are on leashes and dogs run free. Hopefully the dogs are spayed or neutered.

80. “Did we miss anybody?”

Looks like someone fell off the raft in the rapids. Guess they'll have to go back for him.

Looks like someone fell off the raft in the rapids. Guess they’ll have to go back for him.