Make a Wish and Blow Out the Candles with These Birthday Party Cakes (Fourth Edition)

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Next Saturday will be my 28th birthday. So like the few previous years, I usually commemorate the occasion with an assortment of crazy birthday cakes you’d find in a store thanks to Cake Wrecks. When you go to a bakery or store like Wal Mart or Giant Eagle, you usually expect the cakes they make to resemble what you’d see in a book they provide or what you’d specify. However, there are times when it’s not the case. Sometimes customers might see a cake with all kinds of mistakes or unintentional errors. But often they have to make the best of the situation. Since you don’t really want to waste a cake. So for your reading pleasure, I give you yet another assortment of birthday cakes gone wrong. Some of these might not be safe for work by the way. Enjoy.

  1. Perhaps you might want a Shrek cake for your birthday.

Okay, Shrek looks terrifying in this. Like he’d eat children and squeeze the jelly out of your eyes. No, he’s not like that in the movie.

2. Small children will always delight with a Barney cake.

Seems like Barney is giving himself a bikini wax. Nothing to see here, kids.

3. Anyone who enjoys Angry Birds will rave about these cakes.

Well, they hardly look angry and they barely look like birds. More like badly drawn Sesame Street characters.

4. There are plenty of kids who’d like a birthday cake of Sponge Bob Squarepants.

Well, it seems that Sponge Bob’s squarepants are now a speedo. And his legs are unusually long.

5. Elmo always makes a wonderful first birthday cake.

Sure he might be in a diaper. But, yes, his smiley face kind of freaks you out.

6. Sometimes when ordering a cake, it might be better not to specify the punctuation.

Since the word “comma” is written into the cake. Perhaps a grammatically correct cake isn’t all that’s cracked up to be.

7. They say many kids would want a cake of Dora the Explorer.

From Mommy Shorts: “Dora the ‘OMG! There are two giant walruses fighting over my hair!'” Though they don’t seem to have white tusks. But yes, the kind of resemble walruses.

8. Sometimes the instructions may get lost in translation.

No, I don’t think that person wanted a cake that said, “Giant 57.” More like a 57 in a giant font size.

9. Not sure if that person wanted a cake with ramen noodles on their mom’s cake, but there you go.

I think the cake decorator wasn’t supposed to hear “ramen noodles.” But it’s on the cake anyway.

10. Of course, children can’t resist a cake of Mickey Mouse.

Why did does Mickey have Princess Leia buns instead of his large circle ears. And why is he smiling like he’s about to stab me?

11. There are times when a nice birthday cake for a friend can go awry.

Yes, some “f” adjectives can be quite positive. But the word “fat” is usually not one of them. Though being “fit” and “fat” is possible.

12. They say youth comes to die at 40.

And his cake is of a tombstone with white and black roses. Well, you’re only young once I suppose.

13. When your baby’s turning 1, make sure the 1 candle isn’t in an inconvenient location.

Yeah, putting that candle between Winnie the Pooh’s legs make it seem like he’s having a wet dream. Still, isn’t he supposed to be a plush toy anyway? I mean Pooh’s not supposed to have any junk.

14. Uh, I think they just wanted the name “Al” under “Happy Birthday.”

You have people who might take instructions way too literally. You have to wonder why you even get cakes like these.

15. At every place, there is always someone who doesn’t take directions well.

This recipient ordered a cake with a green and yellow inscription. They got neither.

16. Happy Birthday, actually we want you to join a 12 step.

Not sure why they make cakes to get people into rehab. But I suppose it might work for some.

17. A kid named Nemo should naturally get a Finding Nemo birthday cake.

Still, Nemo and Dory don’t seem to be a lively pair on this one. Quite the contrary actually.

18. There are times when a cake can send the wrong message.

Was this a cake meant for Father’s Day for Gomez Addams? Or a birthday cake for Herman Munster? Cause this one seems quite grim.

19. Well, they said Stan enjoyed swimming.

Yet, this boy seems like he’s dead in the water. Think we might need a lifeguard in this case.

20. Happy Birthday Keith and Arianna and don’t worry about anything.

A cake with the saying “He trusts you!” doesn’t seem like a good sign for me. Just a thought.

21. There are some men who might want a fishing cake.

Though they wanted the name “Gary” in white. That didn’t happen.

22. “Happy Birthday, Sprinkles!”

Oh, they wanted sprinkles on the birthday cake. Still, at least they got that. Since it has plenty of sprinkles.

23. This person only wanted a 1 on this cake.

This is definitely for a boy’s first birthday as far as the color’s concerned. Yet, some decorator doesn’t know how to take directions.

24. Often an icing likeness doesn’t go over well.

And it seems like this icing girl doesn’t know how to smile. More confused at what’s going on. Like me looking at this cake.

25. A child would delight in a Scooby Doo cake.

Seems like Scooby Doo has a rather thick neck. Still, kind of freaks me out.

26. Apparently, Linda didn’t get what she wanted on her cake.

Looks like this cake didn’t get the cherry. But it did get the instruction which is barely a consolation.

27. A beach body cake should always have a bit of realism.

Though this is a bit too realistic. Seriously, I’m all for not shaving pubic hair. But that doesn’t mean it should be on a cake.

28. Sometimes people just want their cake to be simple.

Indeed this person, just wanted “Happy Birthday.” And they got in on the cake twice.

29. A monkey is always a wonderful motif for a baby’s first birthday.

Though the banana is unfortunately placed between the legs. Not really sending a family friendly connotation here.

30. A dresser cake is perfect for a young girl.

Though I think her name’s supposed to be “Bobbie.” I’m sure her birthday cake will lead to a lot of teasing in school.

31. A cake of a gorgeous woman would fulfill a man’s dreams.

Though there’s something phallic about this cake. I mean her boobs could be easily seen as balls for some reason.

32. You’re never too old to have a birthday cake with a Disney Princess.

Yet, strangely, Snow White doesn’t seem smiling in this one. Or smiling rather awkwardly.

33. Any Disney girl would love a crown cake for her birthday.

Well, it doesn’t seem to resemble a princess crown. More like a crown passed to a younger sister.

34. A 21st birthday is always seen as a rite of passage.

And this one has a Ken Doll puking into a toilet of sprinkles. Kind of disgusting if you think about it too hard.

35. “Happy Birthday Concentrated Debbie.”

Yeah, I have no idea what it means either. Also, what’s with all the cherries?

36. Someone must complain a lot.

I think it’s supposed to be “Whitney.” Still, this is kind of hilarious.

37. For some a birthday cake should have a festive spin.

Though this is a plain cake that says, “Happy Birthday and Fireworks.” Seems this isn’t what they wanted.

38. Apparently, someone has mixed feelings about their child.

Well, kids can seem like brats sometimes. Though this kid is probably turning 9 from what I can count of the candles. Then again, his name is probably Brad and he’s not an unpleasant child at all.

39. There are occasional cakes that can make flagrant accusations.

Let’s hope this is a misspelling of someone’s name. Because such accusation might put you on a sex offender list later.

40. Perhaps you might want a floral cake?

So who the hell names their kid Stick? Because this just seems kind of weird.

41. A rainbow cake should brighten anyone’s birthday.

I guess they wanted a birthday plaque. Not the word “Plaque.” Too bad they didn’t get what they wanted.

42. Best not mind the chocolate bits in the center.

This one says “Just Happy Birthday.” Still, the chocolate bits might be tasty. But they don’t do wonders on its appearance.

43. An 18th birthday cake should always have a unique design.

Though this cake seems more appropriate for a bachelorette party. Includes some silver decorations on the top.

44. Any young child would adore an Oscar the Grouch cake.

And here’s Oscar in his debut on The Walking Dead. And yes, he’s hungry for your brains.

45. Sometimes a birthday cake can be ordered on the stealth insult side.

Not sure if the “you whores” addition was intentional or not. But it’s kind of funny it’s on a cake with pink flowers.

46. Well, at least they included the clown hat.

Though they didn’t have to write it down on the cake. Just putting a clown hat on there would’ve been fine.

47. A first birthday cake should always have endearing characters.

However, these seem like they’re from some horror show. That figure seems like it’s coming apart.

48. There are some places where a tickling hand is appropriate.

But a birthday cake for a 30 year old man isn’t one of them. Also, it looks kind of creepy if you ask me.

49. Young boys always relish with Star Wars birthday cake.

Still, the message seems a bit odd. Sure he’s unlikely to become a Jedi. But does that mean you should have it on a cake?

50. Seems like they don’t know what to do with this birthday boy.

This could almost be a great birthday cake for Anthony Scaramucci. Since he only lasted in the Trump White House for 11 days.

51. A Harley Davidson cake should look badass.

Yet, the flames on this sheet cake seem rather pathetic. Doesn’t inspire any impressive feats.

52. Anyone with the Force would approve of a lightsaber cake.

Though the lightsaber seems rather erect. Like a Jedi has to show their rod.

53. There are those cake decorators who can’t make up their mind.

They think they should decorate a cake. But they’re not sure if it’s this one. And there’s the script.

54. Even adults couldn’t resist a unicorn.

Seems like this unicorn isn’t too happy. Also, doesn’t seem like it’s well drawn either.

55. A cake like this is only appropriate for an old tortoise.

Still, the turtle doesn’t seem lively on this one. Then again, neither is an average person turning 75.

56. You should always follow directions but not too literally.

These cakes say, “Happy Birthday on Both.” One has flowers. The other has a rainbow.

57. A birthday cake should always sparkle.

But a birthday cake that says, “Sparkle” doesn’t go so well. Though the flowers are pretty.

58. Always pipe the words on a cake after you spray paint it.

Because you can barely see “Happy Birthday” on here. Decorator should’ve waited a little while.

59. Apparently, Kelly is an Auburn fan.

Because it’s written on her cookie cake. Despite that the decorator didn’t really need to.

60. Everything should be in its proper place.

But that doesn’t mean they need a description in icing. Unless these inscriptions were for the decorator.

61. Perhaps a beach birthday cake may suit you.

Yet, this one has pumpkin decorations for some reason. Doesn’t seem to be right.

62. Happy Birthday to whoever’s covered in green.

Evidently someone put on the wrong name. So they blocked out in green. Now it’s a green blob.

63. A birthday cake should have a rather intricate design.

However, this seems to resemble a spiral with some yellow icing. Looks really disgusting.

64. When featuring a photo, always choose wisely.

Yeah, that isn’t a flattering picture. This is probably intentional. But if you’re a parent, would you want your kids to see you in a thong? No.

65. Even an adult could enjoy a cake of Chewbacca.

Thankfully, Chewie has aged better in the newer Star Wars movies than on this cake. Here he just resembles a giant Ewok from your nightmares.

66. A little girl will delight in this Minnie birthday cake.

Actually this is an android Minnie Mouse. She has no life in her. Nor any talents but smiling like a serial killer.

67. Back in the 2000s, young girls would die for a Hanna Montana cake.

Miley Cyrus today would’ve been embarrassed to see her likeness on this cake. Kind of makes her seem a bit cheeky.

68. A bunny cake for a kid’s birthday is always nice.

As long as it’s not the Playboy Bunny. But the parents of this 6-year-old didn’t get the memo. Seriously, Hugh Hefner was a creep and his magazine promoted the objectification of women.

69. Any boy would enjoy an Angry Birds birthday cake.

The contraptions are clearly made out of Kit Kat bars. Still, seems rather sloppy on the icing.

70. Not sure what would stink about a skunk cake.

Kind of says, “well, you’re rather cute but give a foul stench when you’re threatened.” Also, prone to get run over by a car.

71. Any Hawaiian girl would love a Hawaiian Barbie cake.

The grass skirt kind of resembles a broom. Perhaps this isn’t as good an idea as it’s cracked up to be.

72. Young children might enjoy a birthday cake of Bob the Builder.

Is that ground meat? Please don’t say it’s ground mea? Because that’s just plain unsanitary as disgusting.

73. A future free thrower craves for a basketball birthday cake.

The cake is a basketball court while the figures are baseball players. So this is basically a baseketball cake?

74. A Yoda cake, wise choice it is.

But family friendly, it is not. As Yoda show off his lightsaber upwards, he has.

75. Seems like someone getting money from decorating this cake.

Because they have the inscription, “Big tip if it’s there before 12.” Not something you’d want to see on a birthday cake.

76. Nothing brings smiles like a little horse cake.

More like a dead horse cake. Some little kid will be disappointed or traumatized on their birthday.

77. Any girl would want a cake with Belle and Cinderella.

Belle and Cinderella seem like they’re more likely to fit in a horror movie than Disney. Belle’s eyes are especially terrifying.

78. Nobody could hate a duck cake for a baby’s first birthday.

Okay, that duck seems like it’s going to kill someone. Don’t look it in the eye.

79. A clown cake is a smash at any kid’s birthday party.

Hey, I didn’t know they had a cake of Pennywise the Clown. I’m sure Stephen King’s It fans would love to see this.

80. I see this is a cake for Gandalf’s birthday party.

Well, he is incredibly old on Middle Earth. So it’s possible the wizard is 13,000 years old. And yes, they do celebrate birthdays there.

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Merry Christmas from Our Family to Yours on Christmas Memories (Fourth Edition)

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These are my grandparents from last year. Since my grandfather died a few weeks after that, this year will be my first Christmas without him. Though at least he had the courtesy to not die during the holidays. Yet, that didn’t do me much good since he died the week of my birthday.

Indeed, since Christmas is about family, we all have precious memories about opening presents and spending time with the ones we love. Unless, you’re spending the holidays in French castle during the 12th century. In that case, your parents are Henry II and Eleanor of Acquitaine and let’s just say you’re better off taking a tip from their daughters and spending Christmas with the in-laws. Then again, medieval royal families can be massively dysfunctional. Still, every family has their ups and downs. And it’s no exception on Christmas since there are moments that don’t go the way we plan. But sometimes these terrible times can result into hilarious photos we’ll all laugh at in hindsight. So for your reading pleasure, I give you another assortment of awkward moments from Christmas past.

  1. Seems like someone’s Christmas has gotten quite a bit grouchy.

Actually this family took a weird looking tree and turned it into an Oscar the Grouch Christmas tree. Yes, it’s a rather trashy yuletide touch.

2. There are some people who don’t care for surprises.

You can see that someone doesn’t like using wrapping paper on presents. But seems obligated anyway.

3. For unto us a kitten is born.

I’m sorry but using your cats in your nativity themed Christmas card will only result in fits of laughter. This is especially if a cat plays baby Jesus and an angel.

4. Apparently, cat crazies aren’t just limited to one gender.

This guy has 3 cats and a bunny rabbit. And he even sports a mullet. I’m sure there’s a reason why he hadn’t snatched a crazy cat lady by now.

5. Evidently, milk and cookies just won’t do for Santa this time around.

And here’s a young girl pouring some Stella Artois along with some nachos and salsa. Not sure if it does Santa any favors.

6. Sometimes you have to bare all to be the reindeer.

As this chubby baby has done for a Christmas card. Then the parents just add antlers.

7. It’s always the smallest among us who sense the danger.

Yes, that Santa Claus has the face of a serial killer. But only the youngest knows he’s out for blood. Run for your lives, kids!

8. This Christmas, everyone’s got the face of a dog.

Because the dog’s picture is photoshopped on the family members. And they’re all on a dolphin in a waterfall background. Seems like Cousin Phil has been on the brown acid again.

9. A tea party with your stuffed animals is precious, if you’re a child.

If you’re an adult, it just makes you look pretty pathetic. This is especially if you use such an image for your Christmas card.

10. You should always remember to keep a close eye on your children.

I’m sure photoshop had something to do with this picture. Because no parent in hell would let their kids climb up a roof, especially at their age.

11. I’m sure these kids will definitely be on Santa’s naughty list this year.

Yes, these kids have gone down a very bad road. Still, you have to wonder whether someone called child services on their parents.

12. There’s always someone who’ll receive a better present than you.

Little baby gets plush Dalmatian to snuggle. Big sister gets socks which she hates.

14. Christmas is always a time for joy.

Unfortunately, this little girl just doesn’t have it for the Christmas card. Yes, I know the holidays can be really stressful.

15. Since Laura wasn’t in our family portrait, we decided to make due.

So they stuck a photo of her face and drew in her body. I know it doesn’t really cut it.

16. “C’mon, kids, let’s look at the camera. Oh, forget it.”

Yeah, none of the little kids seem willing to cooperate. Note the kid in the front secretly envies them.

17. “Stop, in the name of the law, Santa!”

Talk about a picture that would trauamatize a child for life. Still, this is pretty hilarious even if it’s kind of inappropriate.

18. Apparently, someone didn’t think posing with Santa in pajamas was a great idea.

Timmy had a very bad feeling about this. Now he just wants to go home.

19. Sometimes there’s always someone who’s just had enough.

Yes, that little one just needs to let it all out. But the family doesn’t seem to mind one bit.

20. “All right, kids, smile for the camera.”

Evidently, these children are incredibly cranky. Seems like, “please don’t make us sit for another stupid picture.”

21. You’re never too young to be embarrassed by your parents.

The little baby isn’t having it. Still, the mom’s got huge glasses that make her resemble a cartoon character.

22. When you can’t use a Christmas tree, you can always improvise.

Though wrapping your dad in streamers and bows hardly compensates. Wonder when he’ll get lose.

23. “Hope you’re not wearing that shirt to Grandma’s, Jerry.”

Yeah, you don’t want to wear a stoner shirt to any family gatherings. Still, it’s pretty hilarious.

24. When wearing an ugly sweater, always make sure it’s appropriate for your audience.

I’m sorry, but 3 reindeer humping each other is not PG. Seriously, he just go change like now.

25. Seems like the men forgot to wear pants.

Not sure which is worse. Is it the dad in boxers or the son in long johns? Can’t decide.

26. Christmas should always be a time of good cheer.

But for parents it’s a time of stress and messes galore. Yes, these two are incredibly tired and want to relax.

27. “Here, Travis, hold the baby for awhile, will you?”

The boy’s basically like, “Oh, please, don’t make me hold the crying baby! I’ll be good.”

28. Just don’t mind the angry woman in the window.

Not sure leaving the kids with Santa is a good idea. Not when there’s a scary lady outside.

29. Sometimes Christmas is not a great time of year to be single.

Yes, she has socks and shoes on her hands. And yes, it’s pretty lame.

30. Remember to place the baby facing the camera during the photoshoot.

Still, I think the kid just fell into the rug. Almost resembles a stunt you see in cartoons.

31. “Shitter’s full.”

I think the guy works in sewage. So it’s rather spot on with the Cousin Eddie get up.

32. “Here, Zack, hold your little brother for the camera.”

Yeah, nobody wants to hold a crying baby. This boy seems especially nervous.

33. “Say your prayers, Mom and Dad.”

These kiddies so aren’t getting presents for Santa. I mean they’ve taken their parents hostages for God’s sake.

34. How do you like Dad’s new suit?

Here he’s all proud of himself in his suit of Christmas lights. A tacky showcase as I ever did see.

35. “Sorry that their dad’s not in the picture, but I used a cutout of the celebrity he most resembles.”

Yes, that’s a cut out of Eddie Murphy. I suppose this picture was taken when he was still relevant.

36. Children always show signs of demon possession at a young age.

Sure he may be harmless now. But soon the babysitters will start to disappear or die in dramatic ways. You’ve been warned.

37. Hope these kids have excellent balance.

This should always bee in the Don’t Try This at Home category. Unless you use photoshop, of course.

38. When kids go punk, they don’t go back.

Yes, teenagers really dressed like that back in the day. But his parents accept him anyway. Or at least have gotten used to it.

39. Here we have Santa with his elves, or a bunch of people dressed as Peter Pan.

Sure dressing as Santa’s elves might seem like a good idea. But when you have cone hats, Peter Pan shirts, and candy canes, it’s time to reconsider.

40. It’s normal for kids to want to imitate their parents.

Just because the parents might kiss, doesn’t mean the kids have to follow. But here you are.

41. Parents always want siblings to pose together.

The girl’s like, “Why do you want me to be the Christmas tree?” Boy’s like, “At last, sweet revenge.”

42. Sometimes children don’t want anything to do with the Christmas card photo.

And it seems the younger kids don’t want to be good boys and smile. The youngest isn’t even looking at the camera.

43. Apparently, Imperial Stormtroopers send Christmas cards to their families.

Odd, since I didn’t know Stormtroopers had dogs either. Still, I’m sure this guy can find anyone at a Star Wars convention if he wanted to.

44. Bridget wishes everyone happy holidays.

And yes, it’s just Bridget drinking her sorrows away. Someone has to find a guy for her.

45. I guess these 3 usually don’t speak to each other during the holidays.

Bet the holidays isn’t fun around this bunch. Save for the dog who can at least get love somewhere.

46. Sometimes a Santa’s work is never done.

Seems like this Santa’s just waiting for the family to sort things out or leave. Because he has a lot of kids to see.

47. Now let’s play spot the stepchild.

“Yes, it’s the one sitting on a stool while the dad plays with the other kids. I’m sure being the stepkid isn’t fun on Christmas.

48. Christmas is always a time of family togetherness.

And yes, the family just can’t get their shit together for a photo op. Even the dogs are at each other’s throats.

49. There’s something shifty about this Santa.

This Santa’s like, “Hurry up and tell me what you want for Christmas, kid, so I can rob a bank. They don’t stay open forever, you know.”

50. When the kid’s not the problem for a family photo, it can sometimes be the dog.

And here’s Scruffy humping Mom’s leg. Always have to do it at the worst time.

51. Christmas is the time when we celebrate the birth of the Prince of Peace.

No, not that prince. Since that’s Prince. But the tree surely looks a lot like “Purple Rain.”

52. Some people have simple tastes when it comes to Secret Santa.

For Scott, he just wants anything that costs $20. Preferably a gift card.

53. Sometimes Santa can’t stand the whiny brats on his lap.

Santa’s like, “Please take your screaming brat and make sure I never have to see her again. I need a freaking drink.”

54. Couples pictures should always be about love and tenderness.

Unfortunately, Rover had to relieve himself. Therefore, ruining the family Christmas card.

55. Sometimes expressing disdain takes the most subtle form.

And here is one of the girls giving a finger to the photographer. Yes, tell the camera person what you really think of them.

56. When you can’t find your Christmas stocking and it’s Christmas Eve.

Yes, Allison’s stocking is just a plain old sock from her drawer. Kind of sad if you think about it.

57. Merry Christmas from Hawaii.

And you wouldn’t know it until you see the grandmother dressed like a tacky tourist. Got to love these old timey photos.

58. No, Santa, please don’t touch him there.

Yes, this is pretty disturbing. I’m sure Santa didn’t mean anything. Because it would be horrifying if he did.

59. The girls decided to get matching outfits this year.

Yes, this straight out of the 1980s. And yes, two of them consist of polka dots.

60. This year’s Christmas theme is in the kitchen.

I’m not sure why families do stunts like this. But there you go. Must be a tradition.

61. Don’t look now but little Bobby has something up his nose.

Let’s hope it’s just his nose running. But it more likely seems like he stuck something up there.

62. Apparently, everyone had to bring their best gift bow.

Well, at least they didn’t dress up in boxes. But still, this is pretty weird.

63. No, Dad, this isn’t the time for a beer.

Yes, he’s drinking at the slide. Really setting a good example to the kids. Not.

64. Perhaps it’s not best to change the baby when the grandparents pose for a photo.

Apparently, this baby has no respect for his elders. Seems like we have a budding mooner in our midst.

65. Don’t forget to wear your blue sweatshirts for the snow.

Whole family must be freezing since they’re not wearing freaking coats. Still, lovely scenery.

66. “Have yourself a merry little Christmas.”

Evidently, these children don’t strike me as merry or joyous. In fact, quite the contrary.

67. Guess this boy’s been very naughty this year.

Actually, he doesn’t strike me much as a brat. More likely, his family’s just really into the Krampus.

68. Seems like we got some cattle rustlers there.

And all the kiddies have guns with them. Don’t like where this is going.

69. Everyone seems to have wondrous news save for Emily.

To tell the truth, I think a lot of us are Emily. Poor thing.

70. No. that isn’t how you fold napkins on a Christmas table.

Yes, they look exactly what you think they do. You’d almost think this was for a party at the Playboy mansion.

The Enchanting Winter Wonderland of Ice Sculpture (Third Edition)

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Now it’s on to ice sculpture. You might see plenty of these at special events at least at the small scale. But large ice sculptures exist as well as you see above with the ice buildings in Harbin’s International Ice and Snow Festival in China. It has increased in size over the years and has involved talented artists all over the world with more impressive techniques and pieces to show. But you have other events associated with ice sculptures as well. In the United States, you have the World Ice Art Championships in Fairbanks, Alaska which attracts nearly 100 sculptors from around the world each year to carve ice blocks in front of 45,000 spectators. In Canada, there’s the Quebec City Winter Carnival which is regarded as one of the best in the world. And in Japan, we have the Sapporo Winter Carnival. In a small Swedish village, there’s an ice hotel that’s reconstructed each year. Anyway, for your reading pleasure, I give you another treasury of ice creations. Enjoy.

  1. An ice antelope can always seem majestic.

Yes, an antelope may resemble a deer. But it has horns which stay on a male for life.

2. This angel wishes all peace on earth and good will toward men.

I guess this is for Christmas. Because angels are usually seen as yuletide motifs for the holidays.

3. Seems like we have an ice statue of Santa or some wizard.

Actually this is supposed to be Dede Moroz or Grandfather Frost. He’s basically the Russian equivalent to Santa by the way.

4. How about a couple of flying fish on ice?

Yes, these animals exist by the way. Though strange, this pair looks quite graceful.

5. A harp still needs played even if it’s falling apart.

Well, there’s strings coming off it. But the guy still keeps strumming along.

6. You’d almost think this mask was a real face.

Okay, it’s an ice mask. But you have to admire the artistry on the features.

7. Bet you’ve never seen an ice ship like this before.

Well, it’s a wooden ship made out of ice. It may look awesome but you wouldn’t want to be on one.

8. Try sitting on this ice bench.

Though it may look stunning, sitting on it will give you a wet ass. Because ice is basically frozen water.

9. Surely you’d be impressed by this lovely ice ballerina.

Includes a violin and harp. Wonder if this is for a party or something. Lovely.

10. You might be enchanted by this ice fish.

This takes the notion of a frozen fish to a whole new level. But an ice fish like this is only meant for decoration.

11. Anyone from Mexico might delight in this ice display.

I’m sure this wasn’t carved in Mexico. But the image is on the Mexican flag. The eagle with the snake is based on Aztec legend.

12. Care for some tiki fun on ice?

Consists of palm trees and tiki statues. By the way, tiki statues are seen as religious icons in Polynesian culture.

13. Perhaps you might like this fancy ice parasol.

It’s made in a ice lace pattern. Still, looks incredibly delicate that you wouldn’t want to touch it.

14. Anyone would think this ice castle is magical in a fairy tale.

Yes, this is indeed amazing. And it’s lit in a wide array of colors.

15. Even sea monsters need to find love once in awhile.

Yes, this is indeed touching when you look at it. And you can’t help but love these sea monsters nuzzling each other.

16. This set of wheels is entirely frozen.

This is a car made almost entirely of ice. And it’s one you’d imagine Queen Elsa driving around in her kingdom.

17. You’ll see unicorns charging out of this ice ball.

Seems like something you’d see on top of a building. But it’s stunning nonetheless.

18. Seems like there’s a train coming around the corner.

Well, it’s a train coming out of a tunnel. And even the smoke on this is frozen solid ice.

19. Come see a knight in shining armor slay the dreaded dragon.

Yes, it’s quite stunning and dramatic. But I’m sure many of you have seen such scenes before.

20. What ice festival wouldn’t be without a couple of penguins?

They’re even surrounded by a wall of ice. But in Antarctica, they’re usually huddled around open ice.

21. You can even have a majestic Greek god encased in ice.

Not sure which one of the gods it’s supposed to be. But he looks fabulous among the columns.

22. Gaze upon this Chinese lion.

This is said to be by Ai Wewei. He’s a controversial artist in China since he’s not cool with politics there.

23. You can’t see anything more graceful than an icy mermaid.

Though she seems to have a rather weird fish tail. Nevertheless, it’s quite lovely.

24. Hang the American flag proud on this bald eagle in ice.

Well, it’s an eagle along with the guys who raised the flag at Iwo Jima. A quality American ice sculpture if there ever was one.

25. The centaur can always strum her harp.

In Greek mythology, centaurs were all guys. Just so you know. Still, this is pretty.

26. Sometimes flying on a bird puts you over the moon.

The bird’s wings are spread out in the likeness of the crescent moon. And the woman’s hair is swept up.

27. Bet you’d shudder around this ferocious shark.

Yes, that’s an ice shark. And yes, it looks quite awesome to many, particularly Jaws fans.

28. A mounted archer can always strike at any moment.

Sure arrows may not be as bad as bullets. But being shot by one can be a real pain in the ass. Or possibly kill you.

29. Seems like the mast on this ship has sprouted branches.

Yes, it seems quite unusual. But you get a lot of pieces like this at art festivals, especially if it pertains to ice.

30. Of course, you can’t express love without a couple of flamingos.

However, flamingos can sometimes change mates if there are plenty available. But at least these frozen birds aren’t of the tacky garden variety.

31. Sometimes a goat can leap over great things.

To be fair, goats aren’t seen as attractive creatures. But this looks pretty cool.

32. Perhaps this icy parrot will suit your fancy.

This is for a party, I guess. Though the parrot certainly stands out in the ice.

33. Everyone’s got to love a couple of dancing penguins.

One of them even wears a tuxedo with a bow tie. So adorable.

34. Care to build a snowman on ice?

So this is an ice snowman. Would that make him an ice man? Perhaps we’ll never know.

35. There’s no bones about this dino ice skeleton.

This is from a snow and ice event in Latvia. And I’m positive that’s probably a T-Rex skeleton on ice.

36. An ice dragon looks stunning during the night.

Of course, it’s lit up as many of these ice sculptures are. But it’s nonetheless spectacular.

37. Might want to check out the slopes sometime this winter.

This is an ice ski slope with trees, snow, and skiers. And yes, it’s supported by ice columns.

38. Anyone would want these herald angels singing on Christmas.

Well, these two angels are suited for Christmas displays. One has a horn. The other has a dove.

39. An ice display can leave so much in the rich details.

This is from Fairbanks, Alaska. And yes, it certainly depicts the kind of winter wonderland even Queen Elsa couldn’t dream of.

40. At weddings, an icy heart carriage might be a sure bet.

Well, a heart carriage can symbolize love. But an icy heart isn’t what you’d want in a spouse. Still, this is incredibly beautiful.

41. Sometimes a bird must be set free when it learns to fly.

This one has a centaur as well as flames in the back. It’s from either China or Japan. Not sure where.

42. I’m sure nobody has ever seen an ice tower like this before.

This is from the Harbin Snow and Ice Festival in China. And it’s supposed to be the world’s tallest ice tower. Because everything has to be big in China.

43. An icy skyscraper always looks better in lights.

This is supposed to be China’s largest bank by the way. And yes, it’s surely spectacular.

44. You’d swear you’ve never seen an ice palace like this before.

Actually that’s an ice replica of Haigia Sophia which is in Istanbul, Turkey. But it’s nonetheless stunning to see in lights.

45. I guess let the best bird win in this contest.

Yes, it’s another eagle ice sculpture. Because they’re majestic, fierce, and elegant to behold even in a fight.

46. A dancer always seems like a swan on the ice.

This is from a winter festival in Lake Louise Canada. And yes, she certainly has great form.

47. Whoever’s down will be raised once more.

Particularly by a bigger and stronger guy apparently. Though it kind of seems like an abduction to me.

48. How about a round on an icy carousel?

This one has animals and people all over it. Still, it’s spectacularly amazing.

49. Seems like this cat can’t reach the bird in the birdbath.

Guess someone doesn’t exercise some self control. Still, keep your cat indoors since they can kill birds outside.

50. Perhaps you might want a pool table in your ice basement.

Yes, this is an ice pool table. And it seems like you can play pool on it on cold days.

51. At night you can see a wolf howling at the moon.

Okay, this might not be true. But you have to love the moon and stars on this one.

52. An ice jaguar sports a certain elegance in its spots.

Yes, it surely seems like something you’d see in a photo. And it’s certainly fierce as it’s beautiful.

53. Some may want to ride on a majestic bird if they could.

Though this might depict a woman fighting with a vulture. Still, it’s quite stunning to look at.

54. Perhaps you want to prepare for the Winter Olympics.

Unless you’re Russia of course. Because of excessive doping. Still, this was probably made for the Winter Olympics in Vancouver back in 2010.

55. Just try balancing an umbrella on your feet for once.

That seems like next to impossible. But somehow someone can pull this off in an ice sculpture.

56. In this day in age you might want to go with this ice smart phone.

Of course, you can’t really use this since it’s made of ice. But it surely seems high tech.

57. In case you must answer the call of nature, we have this for you.

Yes, it’s an ice sculpture of a toilet. So unless you want people to see what you crapped, I suggest you not use it.

58. Amazing how an angel can catch a star from the sky.

Though she certainly seems to make it all look easy. Also, love her graceful folding wings.

59. Of course, I couldn’t leave out an ice nativity scene for the holiday season.

Sure this one may have columns instead of a barn. But it’s nonetheless heavenly for such a holy day like Christmas.

60. Every ice festival always needs a gigantic palace.

This is from the Harbin Snow and Ice Festival in China. And yes, it’s a magnificent with a bright purple roof. Love it.

The Enchanting Winter Wonderland of Snow Sculpture (Third Edition)

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Now it’s on to the snow sculpture. Though a snowman is the most famous example of one, there are plenty winter carnivals in the world where you’ll see amazing things you can do with snow. Of course, you need a lot of it which you don’t usually have in southwestern Pennsylvania. But in the United States, you’ll find plenty of snow sculptures at winter festivals in the Midwest and around the Rocky Mountains. The most famous among these is the Breckinridge International Snow Sculpture Championships in Colorado. Canada also hosts many as well with their best known being the Quebec City Winter Carnival. However, the most prolific winter art event is the Harbin International Snow and Ice Sculpture Festival in China, which is the largest of its kind in the world. But Japan’s Sapporo Snow Festival also has plenty of ornate buildings of snow that make Queen Elsa’s mountain castle seem like child’s play. Anyway, for your reading pleasure, I give you another assortment of wondrous snow sculptures.

  1. Perhaps you want to stay safe and warm in this teepee.

Well, it’s made of snow. But it certainly seems like a cozy place to spend the night.

2. These polar bears are just relaxing on a fishing trip.

Despite that fish is a major staple in their diet. And they often use their claws to catch food.

3. You can easily marvel at this mechanical creation.

Sure it doesn’t literally work. But it’s quite detailed in the snow as you can see.

4. Even in winter, you can always ride the waves.

Okay, this is in Colorado during winter. But when it comes to snow creations, you can always use your imagination.

5. Winter is always the season for snowboarding.

Well, that’s more like something you’d see for a winter carnival. Though you’d kind of wish he had a helmet on.

6. Seeing these snow children is difficult to resist.

This is from Harbin in China by the way. But they’re nevertheless adorable to behold.

7. It’s never too cold for this fire breathing dragon.

Yes, it certainly looks impressive. Seems like it’s blowing through something right now.

8. Anyone from Scandinavia could marvel at this Viking head.

Of course, Vikings didn’t wear helmets in their everyday lives. But you have to awe at this Norse creation.

9. Never thought I’d see a turtle in the snow.

Because turtles don’t usually function in cold weather. But this guy seems pretty happy in its shell.

10. Elsa would be green with envy over this snow palace.

This is undoubtedly from China or Japan. But it’s nonetheless a magnificent sight.

11. This seems to be quite the roller coaster ride.

Okay, maybe not since there’s not much of a track. But the tiny snow people seem like they’re having a good time.

12. You might want to check out this snow mammoth.

Sure they may be extinct. But from what this sculpture depicts, a mammoth must’ve looked spectacular.

13. Didn’t know you can see Quetzalcoatl during a snow festival.

He’s the Mesoamerican feathered serpent, you know. And he just wants to say hello from his fire.

14. This snow dog sees its own reflection.

I’m not sure if the frame holds a mirror or not. Perhaps we’ll never know. But it certainly looks amazing.

15. Care to stay in this snowy home?

Yes, it’s another Japanese palace. Though it certainly stands out in lights at night.

16. You might come across some blossoms in the snow.

These lovely roses are from a winter festival in Japan. The detail on this is especially intricate.

17. Get a load on this giant walrus.

Someone could even stand on top of it. But those tusks are noticeably awesome.

18. A mighty eagle always stands tall with its catch.

Well, someone seems proud of itself. And the fish seems quite long.

19. Who’d thought a gorilla can be such a gentle creature?

Actually, those who study them do when you don’t piss them off. But it’s quite sweet to see this guy with a butterfly.

20. Get a glimpse of this spectacular war bonnet.

Though just to be clear, if you’re not a Plains Native American, you shouldn’t wear a warbonnet. Because that’s just straight up cultural appropriation.

21. It’s almost as if you found this mermaid on the beach.

But she’s lying in snow. Yeah, I know it’s kind of weird. Still, use your imagination.

22. Perhaps a polar bear might want a Coke.

Well, polar bears have appeared in Coca Cola commercials. So this isn’t far fetched.

23. Didn’t know mammoths would play ball in the snow.

Of course, they wouldn’t. But it’s quite amazing that it won a prize in a contest.

24. Guess someone has to blow their long horn.

This is from a 1951 winter festival. Yes, some of these events are that old.

25. Seems like the Big Bad Wolf hasn’t gotten to grandma yet.

Funny, how they don’t show the wolf dressed as the grandma in this display. Still, an awesome fairytale depiction in snow.

26. You’ll find all these otters gathered in one place.

Because otters are just brimming with cuteness. So why not make a whole snow family of them?

27. Prepared to be amazed with this spectacular snow castle.

This one would make Queen Elsa completely envious. And yes, it’s pure fairy tale magic.

28. This snow maiden could bring music to anyone’s ears.

She plays a large flute in the snow. I suppose her music is the sound of the winter winds.

29. I’m sure you’ll find this Japanese castle impressive.

Yes, it’s another East Asian styled castle. But you have to admire the roof on this.

30. You find the eagle and the wolf in union with the sun.

This is from Quebec and in a Native American style. Not sure what tribe or myth this is from though.

31. Nobody wants to run into a big fish.

Unfortunately, this guy wasn’t so lucky. Yet, this sculpture is clearly a masterpiece.

32. A snow elephant always stands tall.

Didn’t think I’d see one in the snow before. Because elephants usually live in warmer climates.

33. Nobody should miss these lovely snowbirds.

There’s a certain style to them. As if their wings consisted of lovely white fans.

34. There’s something sacred about this snowy shrine.

Well, it certainly seems like it to me. But it’s nonetheless stunning on this snowy landscape.

35. You can always use some Disney magic at any winter festival.

As you can see, this is a Disney themed snow sculpture. Includes key Disney characters and Cinderella’s castle.

36. You’ll find these two in front of a large butterfly.

I think these must be Shinto gods from Japanese mythology. Not sure what their names are though.

37. A horse can always look majestic in the snow.

Seems like it rises from the snow almost as if it’s part of it. And it has a rather amazing mane.

38. Seems like someone’s awfully close to a dragon.

Though to be fair, Asian dragons aren’t like their European counterparts. They’re more like sages than straight up villains. But nonetheless fierce.

39. Snowflakes come in all kinds of sizes.

And these are only the pretty ones you want to see. The biggest snowflakes are in the White House and the US Capitol.

40. You’ll find plenty of majestic geese flying in the sky.

Well, this is an artistic scene of a flock of birds flying. And yes, it’s certainly a masterpiece.

41. Everything seems to be under this large umbrella.

Sure it may not protect people and buildings from the rain. But you have to appreciate the artistry on here.

42. The world of dinosaurs was an especially brutal one.

Has a T-Rex attacking a Triceratops. However, if you see enough nature shows, predators usually go after the young, old, and sick for easy pickings.

43. Sometimes it takes a large stone gate.

This is a Japanese structure as far as I know. Yet, it’s nevertheless magnificent.

44. A face has become obscured among the leaves.

Though you’d be hard pressed to see. But yes, sometimes you can see sculptures like this at these winter events.

45. Elephants always have to stay together.

And I’m sure the adults are both females. Because elephant males usually hang out alone or in small groups.

46. Butterflies are beautiful on all sides.

I think there might be more than one butterfly here. But it’s quite a lovely sight in the snow.

47. Nothing pleases the soul like hanging around the fountain.

This one has children hanging around. Though the fountain is quite lovely.

48. You’d swear this giant could play beautiful music on a winter’s night.

This one has someone playing the violin in the snowly landscape. And it’s quite a magnificent sight to behold.

49. You might want to feast your eyes on some of these nesting dolls.

You can tell because one of these is inside another. And yes, they all seem to look the same.

50. Ever seen a rodeo on the snow before?

Well, the cow’s kind of weird looking. But any cowboy or girl would adore it.

51. This cat loves to play with the fish bowl.

Have to like how the bowl is almost invisible. Still, it’s quite stunning to see.

52. You’d find a moose embedded on this giant antler.

This is from Anchorage, Alaska. And yes, you can bet they probably have snow sculptures there. Lovely.

53. Someone must’ve gotten in the trash for scraps.

Well, raccoons are known to get into garbage. Yet, this is kind of amusing for some reason.

54. If you like The Force Awakens, this is the snow sculpture for you.

This one features Kylo Ren. You know the Star Wars villain who killed his own dad.

55. I’m sure anyone would want to see a snow Pegasus.

Well, it’s quite lovely to see. Still, you got to love admiring this mythological masterpiece.

56. Ahoy on the high seas!

This one depicts a sea captain with a tri-corner hat. And he has his hands firmly on the wheel.

57. Bet you’ve never seen a giant lizard in the front lawn.

Yes, this is a giant snow lizard. I’m sure it’ll be make a great conversation piece in the neighborhood.

58. Perhaps a massive Chinese temple may suit you.

Well, this seems like depicting a Chinese myth. Not sure which one though.

59. You’d be hard pressed to find a spectacular snow palace like this one.

This is from a Japanese snow festival. And yes, it’s as charming as it is beautiful.

60. I guess you’d find this snow sculpture firmly on the Dark Side.

Well, The Last Jedi is currently in theaters. So I might as well add something from Star Wars on this post.

Frosty the Snowman and His Friends (Third Edition)

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Since Christmas is only a week away, perhaps we should take a break for awhile for some winter creations. Though you can’t really build a snowman where I live during this time (since it hardly snows), it’s nevertheless part of the Christmas motifs especially with the song “Frosty the Snowman” and the cartoon adaptation. As shown, a typical snowman consists of 3 snowballs of varying size, two sticks for arms, a carrot nose, rocks for eyes and buttons, and often a hat and/or scarf. Sometimes a snowman could be depicted with a corn cob pipe but since tobacco use is low and most smokers don’t use pipes, you’re less likely to see one. Nevertheless, on a snowy day, you’ll find plenty of snowmen in all shapes and sizes. So for your reading pleasure, I give you yet another assortment of unique snowmen to enjoy.

  1. A snowman should always have a feline companion.

Funny, he has his very own snowcat. And the cat has little twigs for whiskers.

2. Care for a boat ride on the ice?

Because he’d basically melt if he was on water. Still, this is pretty clever.

3. It’s a nice day for a drink on the patio.

Looks like a family. Though it seems like one can’t reach the table while sitting.

4.  Looks like this guy’s passed out.

And he’s a against a wooden post, seemingly naked. If he was a human, he’d be arrested for indecent exposure.

5. Apparently, he always tries to be well-informed.

Seems to read “Times of Israel.” Guess he’s Jewish. Because this sure as hell doesn’t seem like Israel.

6. “Well, I guess this is in my own likeness.”

Yes, that snow dog certainly resembles that golden retriever. Though the dog doesn’t seem impressed.

7. You can actually get in this snowman.

It’s a snowman igloo. I guess this is somewhere in Alaska or Canada, where these ice homes are built.

8. “It’s snowing, Gromit.”

This is a snow Gromit. And it sure looks like the expressive dog from the claymation cartoons.

9. You can always spend a lazy afternoon lounging in a hammock.

Well, since there’s 6 more weeks of winter, you might as well chill for awhile. This is especially if you’re made of snow. Unless you factor in climate change.

10. Don’t worry, I don’t think she’ll do anything with that pitchfork.

They’re just a humble farm snow couple. Still, got to love the snow woman’s basket hat. And her husband’s bald.

11. Someone’s trying to get a ride.

Uh, I don’t know if reaching out at the bus station will help. But it can’t hurt trying.

12. On some days, your hair can’t just be tamed.

This one even has a baby bundled up near her. So adorable. By the way, the hair is made from evergreen branches.

13. Want to go outside and play ball?

Well, he certainly seems perky. Hope he could pick up the ball.

14. Looks like someone can do a handstand.

Wonder how you build that snowman. Though I guess he’s just a mere show off.

15. You’d almost swear her hair was all twigs.

Indeed, her hair seems to go all over the place. Yet, she does have a nice smile.

16. Perhaps you might be enlightened by this snow Buddha.

Sure he knows he’ll melt once spring comes. But in the meantime, he’ll try finding some inner peace before becoming slush.

17. You can always play with these snow dogs.

These two are just dogs frolicking in the snow. So they’re not hurting anything.

18. Check out his guitar solo.

I guess he worked for the Eagles during their Hell Freezes Over tour. Though check out his twig mohawk.

19. “I’m Olaf and I give warm hugs.”

Though you might want to try skipping his Frozen short if you’re planning to see Coco. Though that is a fairly good likeness.

20. Nobody could resist these snow penguins.

They seem rather small. But you have to like the one with a bowtie on its little tuxedo.

21. Apparently, Muslim couples love to hang out in truck beds.

Well, snowmen can be Muslim, too. Though most Muslims live in place where snow doesn’t exist. Still, these are great.

22. Always try to watch your step.

Yes, someone seemed to fall into the snow. And his friend’s basically laughing about it.

23. A snow lady should always wear a sleek red dress.

Though this dress is basically spray painted. But you have to like how that girl imitates her.

24. Looks like this bearded guy’s rather disappointed.

He’s just hanging around having a beer. So it’s best not to distract him.

25. Put your legs in the air.

And yes, it’s certainly incredible. However, you can’t pull off a handstand with this body type.

26. Eek! Somebody’s shot their eye out!

Yes, that’s really gross. But the one with blood spurting out of his eye doesn’t seem to mind.

27. Seems like Elsa has been sick lately.

This is a whole army of small snowmen. And yes, they will come to you in proper weather conditions, of course.

28. Sometimes a fishing trip is all you need.

Sure they may be fishing in the baby pool. But they’re having quite the bonding experience.

29. Always seek shelter when it gets too cold.

And it seems like they’re cozying up with candles. Let’s hope they’re fake. Since we know open flames can melt them.

30. Fans of Kung Fu Panda might enjoy this snowman.

It’s a snowman version of Po from the franchise. And yes, he has his underwear.

31. Looks like this little guy’s found his snow home.

Well, this is just under a snow dog. But it nonetheless seems cozy for this dog.

32. “Please don’t feed your kid brother to the snow monster!”

Don’t worry, the pants are probably stuffed hand me downs. But it’s certainly disturbing to see.

33. Tragically, Charlie was severely injured in a cataclysmic hit and run.

Man, didn’t know snowmen can spurt out blood like that. Unsurprisingly, his friends are devastated.

34. Look out! There’s a snow shark on the loose!

Wait a minute, sharks aren’t supposed to swim in the snow. Still, this is pretty hilarious.

35. Seems like this guy had a wild night.

Yes, he’s pretty hungover right now. Must’ve been too many cold ones.

36. “Mind if I hitch a ride?”

Well, he’s riding the roof. Nevertheless, he’s so adorable on the ride.

37. You can’t resist the charm of a snow polar bear.

And like polar bears, this little guy’s threatened by climate change. And yes, it’s totally real.

38. Perhaps you might want to see a snow kangaroo?

Didn’t know that I’d see a snow marsupial (aside from the opossum). After all, I don’t think it snows like that in Australia.

39. You have to see this snow pig smile.

Well, she certainly has a radiant smile. Also love the purple buttons.

40. Perhaps we can enjoy this snowy afternoon out on the bench.

Well, this seems nice. Like the snow woman’s hat. Lovely.

41. You’d almost swear this dog is as tall as a house.

Since it seems to tower over the patio. Still, have to admire the collar.

42. This snow lizard just wants to chill for awhile.

And I see it’s smoking something in its mouth. Also, most reptiles would be inactive in cold temperatures since they’re cold-blooded.

43. My, is that a towering snowman.

It’s not the biggest I’ve seen. But it towers above that family by several yards.

44. Now that guy must’ve had way too much to drink.

When you see someone passed out with all those bottles, you need help. Snowmen are no exception.

45. “Howdy, pardner!”

This cowboy snowman has gloves and a belt. Possibly hails from the Rockies.

46. Apparently, spring is here.

And that means this snowman’s days are numbered. So he must enjoy them while they last.

47. Feel free to spare a dime for this hobo.

Didn’t know snowmen could become homeless. Thought they just hung out outdoors.

48. Looks like Fu-Manchu snowman is out for blood.

Yes, I know this looks offensive. But it’s not often you come across a snowman with severed heads.

49. Of course, you can always take a bath.

Okay, she’s showing her boobs. And now she’s embarrassed that you had to look at her.

50. Be on your guard when coming across a snow wolf.

And I see the wolf devouring a snowman right now. Yes, it’s incredibly horrific, indeed.

51. Sometimes you just want to chill on the patio.

They’re in fedora hats and drinking on their lawn chairs. And in sub-zero weather, too.

52. You’d be pressed to see a snowman in black and gold.

Seems like a Steelers fan lives here. Too bad the refs basically ruled out that one touchdown.

53. Wanna buy a snowman? Try here.

Though there’s some assembly required as you can see. Yes, you have to roll the snow balls.

54. Didn’t know I’d see a snow woman with a butterfly net.

Because butterflies don’t like winter. Still, this is kind of adorable.

55. Someone’s all prepared for the Pen’s game.

Though he doesn’t seem too happy here. Though I like his Santa hat.

56. The family that reads together, stays together.

And it seems this girl’s enjoying the time. Got to love this.

57. Look out! Snow zombies!

Somebody go get a blow torch! We’ll melt these bastards!

58. Bet you’ve never seen a snowman in the tree.

Wonder how they pulled this off. Not to mention, he’s wearing Converse tennis shoes.

59. Sometimes you can use a break from snow shoveling.

After all, shoveling snow out of the driveway’s really hard work. So it’s best to sit down once in awhile.

60. “Goodbye cruel world.”

Yes, it’s a snowman hanging himself. Guess he didn’t think the melting point couldn’t come soon enough.

Rockin’ Around the Christmas Tree at the Ugly Sweater Party (Fourth Edition)

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A perennial favorite on my blog during the holidays seems to be my ugly Christmas sweater posts. Of course, back in the day to receive one of these as a gift was a monumental embarrassment. Today, you’ll find plenty of people putting on these tacky apparel for Christmas parties. And sometimes the tackier the better. For instance, take what I’m wearing above. The sweater and the headband are actually my mom’s which she wore for a Christmas party at work. Because I don’t really have anything this tacky in my closet. And today, I’ll surely bring you more since you’ll find plenty on Pinterest or any online search. So for your reading pleasure today, I give you another assortment of spectacular ugly Christmas sweaters. Enjoy. By the way, some of these might not be safe for work.

  1. A holiday sweater like this makes you a favorite customer at Starbucks.

Funny, that the cup isn’t red. Perhaps someone didn’t want to piss off conservatives.

2. A Christmas tree sweater should have all kinds of bows.

Well, it kind of looks more like a dress. But you have to love the large star on it.

3. How about a mounted reindeer with lights?

This is kind of sick. But to be honest, it’s kind of hilarious. Don’t worry, the deer head is plush.

4. For Christmas south of the border, I suppose this poncho will do.

Sure it might fall under cultural appropriation. But since it’s a tacky rendition of “Feliz Navidad,” I’ll take it.

5. Hipsters might adore this reindeer top.

Because a sweater with anything else is so mainstream. And yes, you have the hipster glasses near the red nose.

6. As we all know, you can’t resist the presents under the tree.

Oh, she’s supposed to be dressed as the tree cover. Though that’s an awfully small tree on her head.

7. As we all know, Santa can’t be Santa without his long white beard.

Well, this Santa has a pretty long beard akin to Albus Dumbledore. Though you normally don’t see Santas with that kind of facial hair.

8. With this sweater, you’re always Walken in the winter wonderland.

And yes, this depicts Christopher Walken. You know him from hit movies and his distinctive voice.

9. Instead of a Christmas sweater, how about go with a Christmas skirt?

Okay, this is more cute than ugly. But still, it kind of counts since it’s in a similar style.

10. “Rudolph with your nose so bright, won’t you drive my sleigh tonight?”

As you can see, this sweater lights up. And yes, so does Rudolph’s nose.

11. “Fra-geel-lay. Must be Italian.”

After all, you can’t have an ugly Christmas sweater post without including one with the leg lamp. A tacky Christmas decoration that you’d ever see.

12. A mantle at the fireplace and a deer head are always great for couples.

Yes, it looks like someone killed Rudolph. But think how well it goes with the stockings hung at the fireplace.

13. Frosty can always make a great drinking buddy during the holidays.

Yes, that’s Frosty the Snowman with a beer can. And yes, he’s becoming a bad influence to children.

14. You’ll always need a warm fire when the stockings are hung by the chimney with care.

Another couple’s idea, apparently. Though the woman can wear hers all year long. The guy, not so much.

15. No Christmas sweater can do without some fuzzy fur trim.

Well, it has feathers on the cuffs and bottom. But it includes a hood with all kinds of tacky trimmings.

16. A Christmas vest should always include some tinsel.

Comes with matching candy canes, snowflakes, and green bows. Perfect for any Christmas party.

17. Seems like Grandma got run over by a reindeer.

Don’t worry, she’s fine. Just had to spend some time in the hospital. But the tracks are nonetheless permanent.

18. Apparently, the Abominable Snowman can spit out candy.

Okay, maybe not. But this is nevertheless hilarious, especially if you add tinsel.

19. Now your Christmas sweater can have its own snow globe.

Okay, this is in plastic. But it will certainly be a hit at any Christmas party you go to.

20. Seems like the deer like to frolic during the holiday season.

Okay, they’re just humping each other. So best not to wear this one in front of the kids.

21. For a more refined occasion, you might want to wear this evening gown.

Yes, this is an ugly Christmas dress. Not something you’d wear to a fancy dress ball. But perfect for an office party, sort of.

22. A Christmas suit is great for all yuletide occasions.

I see the guy wearing the Santa hat with his tacky suit. Sure it’s ridiculous but fun.

23. A sweater like this will make you a darling at any office bash.

Even has the words “Ugly” on it. Also includes plenty of pom poms and tinsel.

24. A present dress should always include a bow and tinsel.

All these ladies wear large red bows for their outfits. And yes, gift bows are a great way to decorate anything.

25. If you like A Christmas Story, than this is the holiday sweater for you.

Consists of Ralphie in his pink bunny outfit and the leg lamp. And all in felt, too.

26. Of course, no Christmas can be without a couple of ball ornaments.

Okay, this guy’s sweater is kind of risqué. Definitely not to be worn around children.

27. No ugly sweater can ever have too much tinsel.

Actually, you can’t have too much of anything on these sweaters. But she certainly rocks in her tinsel top with silver snowflakes.

28. As Santa says, “Ho, ho, ho.”

Though that phrase can also be used as an inside joke. But I like how the Santas are positioned here. So clever.

29. Sometimes a sweater can use a little bit of everything.

This one has a snowman with tinsel, garlands, bows, jingles, and baubles. Certainly stands out among many.

30. Nothing makes Christmas than some holiday Whoville fashions.

These girls even have the Who hair. Nevertheless, perfect for any day out in Whoville.

31. Green feathers always go well with any candy cane striped shirt.

This one even lights up as you can see. Though I’d more anticipate more decor relating to the Grinch on this.

32. A sweater like this is perfect for any family Christmas.

Though you wouldn’t want to spend Christmas with the Griswolds. Or anywhere near them for that matter.

33. You can always add more to any Christmas sweater.

His even has a deer in a stocking along with lights. But he doesn’t have a care in the world.

34. Perhaps a more layered look may suit your fancy.

This get up is essentially covered in bows. Yet, it has plenty of other stuff on it, too.

35. A Christmas dress can be just as snazzy.

This one has a tree on the skirt and bows on the top. All on black velvet, apparently.

36. Indeed, the North Pole elves have their own kind of entertainment.

This one has Barbie on a stripper pole as the elves shower her with cash. Ho, ho, ho indeed.

37. A cardigan can always use some tinsel and tulle.

But don’t forget to put on a few decorations as well. Certainly flashy for any festive occasion.

38. Guess you have an idea on what she has in her stocking.

Though looking at her you can’t help but be amazed on how she fit an entire bottle in her stocking. Nevertheless, this is pretty funny.

39. I’m sure you can have plenty of jingling on this sweater.

Includes spring tits, lights, and bells on the nipples. So you’d better not wear it in front of your family.

40. Christmas heels should come with a snowflake or two.

Well, these are red heels covered with green glitter, too. The snowflake is the finishing touch.

41. A Christmas sweater can come in all sizes.

And I see a couple of these are child size. But all certainly have their own bows for the tree.

42. Perhaps you might want your holiday sweater gift wrapped.

Though this one has a gold bow on it. Though the wrapping is in blue, red, and green.

43. You can make your own reindeer with a simple sock.

Well, that’s kind of ingenious. The antlers are quite charming as well.

44. A festive sweater should always jingle.

And if you live in Whoville, then this is the perfect Christmas sweater for you. Should go great with Cindy Lou Who hair.

45. May your Christmas crash and Bern.

But in a good way, since this has Bernie Sanders. Yes, I like his ideas. But I don’t think he would’ve won.

46. A green holiday suit always makes you a hit outdoors.

Yes, it’s certainly tacky indeed. Guaranteed to make people’s eyes sour with all the trimmings.

47. Seems like rocking in his yuletide get up.

Yes, that vest is certainly ugly. But those pants are just atrocious.

48. How many of those bears could you fit in that stocking?

The title on this one reads, “It’s a sad day for the bears.” Not sure exactly what that means per se.

49. There’s nothing more badass than Santa fighting a shark.

And yes, Santa really gives the shark a punch. Though Santa’s not known to be buff at all. In fact, on the contrary.

50. For Breaking Bad fans dreaming of a White Christmas, look no further.

Though to be fair, Walter White isn’t the kind of guy you’d want to spend Christmas with. Mostly because he’s freaking insane.

51. I call this one, “The Pizza Lover’s Deluxe.”

Because nothing brings cheer during the holidays than the great taste of pizza. Okay, maybe not. But this is pretty funny.

52. I’m sure this guy will eventually shoot his eye out.

It depicts the BB gun Ralphie wanted for Christmas. And yes, he does hurt himself using it.

53. Apparently, Santa might need a new belt or suspenders.

Since you can see his butt crack. Hopefully, nobody but the reindeer saw that. I hope.

54. I give you the Human Santapede.

Get it? Because it’s a human centipede and it’s for Christmas. Yeah, I know it’s disgusting.

55. You’d find this sweater delightfully Grinchy.

This one has bows on the sleeves as well as a plush Grinch in the center. And yes, there’s some tinsel for the trim.

56. After all, everyone loves a plush reindeer.

Well, it more or less resembles a moose with a wreath. But this woman’s not complaining.

57. How about a Christmas sweater for two?

This one is a naughty and nice shirt for couples. Though I wouldn’t want to have this kind of closeness at a holiday party. Think outfits should be separate.

58. If you’re a stoner, this holiday sweater may be for you.

It’s a pot gingerbread shirt. An unsurprisingly, it contains rose of gingerbread.

59. Care to look inside the windows.

Well, it certainly gives you a nice view. Seems like this sweater has a little bit of everything here.

60. I suppose a yeti is perfect for any white Christmas.

Though a yeti lives in the Himalayas where many of the people don’t. Still, this is pretty clever.

SantaCon Costumes Are Coming to Town (Third Edition)

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Around this time of year, people from across the country put on their yuletide duds to paint the town red and green for the SantaCon pub crawl. Now while its participants call it a time of revelry and fun, those in New York City particularly see it as a boozefest full of drunken brawling, vandalism, public urination and disorder. This has resulted in fierce community resistance save from those who make money off it as well as the disavowal of those who originated it. Though to be fair, plenty of fun events have devolved into an excuse for drunk partying like Cinco de Mayo and Saint Patrick’s Day. Hell, you can even say the same for Christmas and New Years, which in that case, had been filled with drunken incidents centuries before SantaCon was a thing. Anyway, a 2011 article from Gothamist called the Santa celebration an “annual drunken shitshow” that “has steadily devolved from cleverly subversive to barely tolerable to ‘time to lock yourself in your apartment for the day.’ ” And a 2017 report from the New York Daily News stated the event, “endures an annual backlash from New Yorkers repulsed by the sight of Santas vomiting or urinating in the street in years past.” Let’s just say Wikipedia has leaves a section of New York City incidents over SantaCon with many hilarious reports of this yuletide debauchery. This doesn’t mean we can’t get any fun out of it. For we totally can since you find plenty of creative costumes in their midst, which is where I come in. So for your reading pleasure, please enjoy these SantaCon-type costumes.

  1. Nothing makes winter like an enchanting snow globe.

Well, at least she has “North Pole” on the base. And she has a Santa coat and striped tights.

2. “Frag-gil-lee. Must be Italian.”

Yes, she’s dressed up as the infamous leg lamp from Christmas Story. Still, tights don’t provide adequate insulation in freezing weather.

3. Guess the birthday boy isn’t all too impressed.

Well, Christmas is supposedly Jesus’s birthday. Still, he doesn’t seem like he’s about to chase moneychangers at some temple anytime soon.

4. Perhaps you’d like a couple of gingerbread?

Though the outfits seem kind of short. Yet, both these women hold candy canes to match.

5. How about a Santa mascot for size?

Yes, it’s a cartoonish costume with an eye space at the hat. It’s also kind of creepy.

6. Tulle is always great for a costume Christmas tree.

Both of them also have lights on their trees as well as a star on their heads. Both women can surely stand out.

7. Watch out for this red suited gangster.

He has a candy cane and he’s not afraid to use it. Also, the suit is in pinstripes.

8. A Christmas tree dress will certainly stun.

This is a strapless dress with a skirt consisting of tinsel, snowflakes, and baubles. Not sure if anyone should wear it to SantaCon. But it’s surely stunning.

9. For once, Santa would just like to relax.

Guess this is what Santa would wear when he’s at some golf course in an exotic location. Let’s hope it’s not Mar-a-Lago.

10. Don’t look now, but I think there’s an Abominable Snowman creeping up on the candy cane guy.

You know the Abominable Snowman from the Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer special. And yes, I have a very bad feeling about this.

11. These Christmas presents tastefully wrap themselves.

Both wear tutus and shiny tops. And they even come with large gold tags.

12. What could Christmas ever be without the Grinch and Cindy Lou Who?

Though I don’t think the Grinch costume is incredibly flattering. But Cindy Lou is quite lovely.

13. Apparently, even reptilians enjoy the SantaCon celebrations.

One of them even wears shorts. Then there’s some Santas with white fros.

14. If you want to dress as a snow queen, there’s always a costume of Elsa.

Yes, I know so many girls want to be her for Halloween. But at Christmas, Elsa won’t be in high demand. So you can just let it go.

15. Sometimes with Christmas trees, less can be more.

Well, these two wear short green dresses. But they also include the stars, tinsel, and lights.

16. Don your red and green apparel for this year’s SanatCon.

This is a pretty original costume. She has green hair, a hula hoop, and an outlandish outfit. Is either an elf or a resident from Whoville.

17. Santa comes in riding on Rudolph.

I don’t know about you. But considering that Santa is overweight, he shouldn’t be riding on a moose, let alone a reindeer.

18. In this Santa getup, you can be a darling of the holiday pub crawl.

Yes, it’s a sexy Santa girl costume. Not sure if Mrs. Claus would wear this though.

19. Apparently, the Grinch decided to go casual.

Though a green T-shirt is better than makeup. Still, you have to like what they did to their dog.

20. Who thought that Santa could rock in a fedora.

Okay, maybe not. But he certainly seems like he’s straight from a rock group like ZZ Top.

21. Make sure your presents are carefully wrapped.

She’s wearing a dress of gift bows. The guy’s wearing a gift box with a giant bow.

22. This snowman costume can make SantaCon extra frosty.

Yes, it’s a sexy Frosty the Snowman costume. And yes, it comes with a short skirt that’s not good for freezing weather.

23. Perhaps you might want to be a rather saucy Mrs. Claus.

Comes with candy cane striped tights. Still, Mrs. Claus shouldn’t be sexy.

24. Toy soldiers come in all shapes and sizes.

Though the women have the high hats, the men have the fuzzy ones. But they’re all dressed in the traditional uniform.

25. Apparently, Santa has come out of his grave.

Of course, you’ll probably have an undead Santa among ranks. Mostly consists of a Santa suit with a zombie face.

26. If you can’t wrap, you can always gift bag.

Those must be pretty large gift bags. And you can even use tissue paper.

27. Santa Claus isn’t the only Christmas figure to don a long beard.

Yes, this is the Ghost of Christmas present from the Dickens story. So he’d be perfect for SantaCon.

28. My, he sure has a long candy cane.

Okay, I know this is quite risque. But SantaCon isn’t known for its wholesomeness anyway. In fact, it’s just the opposite.

29. You don’t need much to dress as a toy soldier.

They mostly used T-shirts to decorate here. Add the fake hair, mustache, and hat.

30. For a cold day, why not dress as a Christmas caroler?

Okay, this isn’t a conventional caroler costume. Mostly because it has a short skirt.

31. You can always let it snow in your little globe.

Well, that’s kind of cute. Like the “North Pole” base. Though a globe doesn’t really make tasks easier for this Santa’s little helper.

32. A reindeer should always come in a red skirt.

Well, a red tutu of tulle. She’s also wearing red antlers to match.

33. A Christmas tree always needs to sparkle with tinsel.

She’s even wearing presents as shoes. Still, she can’t shake off that shine.

34. Santa and his missus can always stand out in furry, white robes.

Okay, this is probably the Russian Dede Moroz and his wife. But both are in furs and wield long staffs.

35. You haven’t seen nothing from this super Santa.

Though I can’t see how Santa could be Superman. Because both men have totally different body types.

36. Ice queens always love it when it snows.

Well, I suppose they work for some winter park. But they have lovely blue hair and dresses to imitate ice.

37. You might want to bundle up in this candy cane coat.

Well, it’s a flashy candy cane coat and boots. But there’s barely anything in between.

38. Didn’t know Cindy Lou Who was dating Buddy the Elf.

Well, they’re not given age gaps and the different universes they live in. But these two are quite cute together.

39. You can always decorate your own tree dress for the holidays.

She’s wearing tinsel and baubles along with a star on top. Doesn’t light, but she’ll go on the post.

40. While Christmas as Santa Claus, Hanukah has it’s own chicken.

Not sure what the chicken has to do with this Jewish tradition. But I have an inkling suspicion this guy was made up.

41. These toy soldiers are always on duty.

Since they’re wearing pale green over their red pants. They also use candy canes as guns.

42. Of course, everyone could use some shade.

This is a rather clever leg lamp costume. Just need a black coat, stockings, and a lampshade hat.

43. It’s MC Santa time.

Yes, this is Santa as MC Hammer. Though note the other Santa with the chimney hat in the background.

44. Sometimes Santa enjoys delivering presents to those under the sea.

Actually, I don’t think he’s even in the water. But he has a Christmas tree in tow.

45. Wrapping paper can be an excellent substitute for fabric.

Technically, no. But since it’s Christmas, it’s best to let it slide since they’re dressed as presents.

46. Santa’s sleigh team is all assembled.

Well, these ladies are all in a sexy reindeer costume. Though to be fair, female reindeer do have antlers this time of year.

47. This Who girl always loves to dress in pink.

Though to be fair, Whos always have a unique style to them. You especially see this with women’s hairstyles.

48. When in doubt, you can always go to SantaCon in your pajamas.

So they actually have Christmas onesies for adults? Not sure if I’d even wear that.

49. To scare the kids, may I suggest a Krampus costume?

Even comes with a sack for the kiddies. Yes, this a really messed up outfit you can buy.

50. Don’t forget to wear your best stockings.

And I suppose this guy took it literally. Though he doesn’t necessarily make a bad stocking stuffer.

51. You can always shimmer in a pink Santa dress.

At least this one comes with tights. But you have to wear a coat with this on.

52. Hipster Santa will always give you what you want.

Don’t forget he puts roaches inside bad kids’ stockings. Because coal is just too mainstream.

53. Sometimes you get more with less on a Christmas tree dress.

Includes bows and baubles on the skirt along with gold tinsel. Comes with red transparent stockings.

54. Seems we have Rudolph pulling Santa’s sleigh.

Don’t worry, they’re just two friends playing around. Though the woman playing Rudolph must be freezing her butt off.

55. An oblong box is a perfect way to present yourself.

It’s a present costume, possibly consisting of mostly foam inside. Yet, it’s in red with a green ribbon.

56. Though you can easily make your own presents with a box.

These boxes just have wrapping paper, ribbons and tags. And they only cover their upper bodies.

57. You should always go all out as a Christmas tree.

He’s even wearing lights and tinsel. Though I hope he doesn’t step into mud since it would totally ruin it.

58. Let these Santas guide you on the 4 stages of life.

And yes, they seem to revolve around Santa Claus. Yet, you have to love their hats.

59. Seems like a couple of Na’vi are basking into the holiday cheer.

Too bad their blue paint costume hasn’t been relevant since 2009. Though James Cameron vows to make sequels.

60. Perhaps you’d like to dress as a couple of driedels.

Finally, a costume depicting an actual Hanukah symbol. But don’t try to spin these two.

61. These Santas just came from the deep.

Well, they’re diving helmets. Though you wonder if they can see through the windows.

62. The mighty Santathor will always be there to save Christmas.

And he comes wiht his hammer Mjingle to vanquish the Grinch stealing it. Wait a minute, Thor’s a Norse god, isn’t he?

63. Seems like everyone wants to follow that one reindeer.

Though one of these is Ralphie who just shot his eye out. Still, the Santa seems a bit sketchy.

64. You can always keep warm with a cup of Starbucks.

Well, she’s dressed as a Starbucks holiday cup. Guaranteed to infuriate conservatives and Fox News.

65. Christmas trees should always dress alike.

And all these ladies wear stars and bright green hair. Dresses are decorated with baubles and tinsel.

66. This soldier is a real nutcracker.

You can tell because she’s holding a bag of nuts. Though she seems quite pretty compared to the regular ones.

67. You can never have enough tulle for a Christmas tree costume.

Wonder how she sits down. Outfit even lights up. Lovely.

68. You could always go as an elf from Santa’s workshop.

Makes you wonder what the North Pole’s dress code is. Still, sexy elves belong in Lord of the Rings, not Christmas.

69. Seems like Santa has gone Steampunk.

So does he ride on a mechanical sleigh with automaton reindeer? Still, this is great.

70. If you like gingerbread, you might adore this dress.

Yes, I know it’s another sexy costume. But at least it has a candy cane blouse and tights.

71. Now this snowman looks really frosted.

Okay, that’s pretty creepy. Yet, it’s a great use of cotton stuffing.

72. Looks like that’s someone from Santa’s pit crew.

Well, someone has to repair Santa’s sleigh. And yes, that person’s wearing a mechanic’s suit.

73. Sorry, but on Christmas the guy has to wear the pink bunny suit.

Yes, this is A Christmas Story couple. And yes, the woman is a leg lamp. Still, the pink bunny costume cracks me up.

74. Looks like Santa Claus has gone evil.

And he wears horns and a long red robe with a hood. He’s even got a lady assistant with him.

75. These people wish you a merry Kiss-mas

Think of it as KISS dressed up in Santa suits. And you basically get this.

76. Seems like Jack Skellington is passing on his own Christmas cheer.

I have to admit this is just so cute in its own way. Just hope this little Santa doesn’t give away shrunken heads to the kids.

77. No, Ghost of Christmas Present, please don’t go open robe.

And yes, he has his dick in a box. Jesus Christ, this is just messed up.

78. You can always don a couple of advent calendars.

Well, that’s a rather simple idea for SantaCon. Very original to say the least.

79. Now you have a Santa in grayscale.

Because a grayscale always goes in a black and white photo. Though we live in a world of color.

80. Looks like Clark Griswold’s had trouble with the lights.

Yes, this is from the cover of Christmas Vacation. And yes, you can actually get electroshock if you’re not took careful.