The Anthro World of Furry Costumes (Third Edition)

2c6f32ae4eb2366ddc62ce28c89c019c

In the hot and humid atmosphere of Southwestern PA in early July, the Furries descend upon Pittsburgh for their annual Anthro Con, which is the world’s second largest convention for them. Why they’re able to withstand the hot summer heat this time of year, I have no idea. But they come from all over the place and have money to burn so Pittsburgh really doesn’t mind as long as they behave themselves. This year, the Furries are stated to bring about $7.9 million to Allegheny County which is a big boost to the area. And with that kind of cash, you really don’t care where it comes from, even if it is from people who like dressing in animal costumes. And if you go to Fernando’s Café during this weekend, you’ll find plenty of Furries hanging out. After all, they raised money to help the owner keep his business through donations during the Great Recession. So for your reading pleasure, I give you another assortment of Furries for this Anthro Con weekend.

  1. A crouching dog is always ready to rumble.

Here he is ready to fight. Best not to mess with him or he’ll rip you to shreds.

2. This fox is ready to mingle in her bright red scarf.

She has her own fluffy tail with a blue tip. And she’s not shy to show it off.

3. Of course, you might have some hell hounds here and there.

Don’t they won’t bite. They’re just hanging out at the convention.

4. Always put your best paw forward.

This dog seems happy to greet their fellow furries. And will show their blue and yellow paws.

5. Someone must’ve received a package.

And someone can’t wait to open it. Wonder what it is. Is it a brand new chew toy?

6. A few pounds of kibble, please.

Actually they seem more likely to be in the candy store. Yet, I’m not sure what this person is supposed to be.

7. Only at Anthro Con can a bunny and polar bear be friends.

Because in real life, a bear is more likely to eat the bunny. And a bunny is less likely to be purple and yellow.

8. A cool cat can always be a snappy dresser.

This one wears a green shirt and a blue polka dot scarf. And they’re all dressed and ready to go.

9. This sitting dog is all covered in tiger stripes.

He’s also wearing a shirt and pants. Seems like he’s going to a concert afterwards.

10. This dark dog sometimes loves to lay about.

And he seems ready to show his claws. So best you leave like right now.

11. I thought dogs weren’t allowed on the subway.

Don’t worry, I’m sure he’s toilet trained. Because he’s a guy in an animal costume.

12. This tiger is locked and loaded.

I’m sure the gun is a toy. But he surely looks like a badass compared to Tony the Tiger.

13. Don’t mind the dog with this cup.

He just has a red Dixie cup on his nose. Guess he really likes to party.

14. You need not fear this friendly hyena.

After all, he’s not that filthy compared to those on the Savannah. Rather, he seems quite clean and friendly.

15. This dog loves showing his claws.

Since they’re all shiny and green. And so is his tongue which is kind of gross.

16. This tiger always loves to wander in the forest.

Well, they’re wearing ragged clothes for some reason. Yet, they like pouncing on the rocks.

17. No frisky fox can resist this vixen.

After all, sexy foxes are always seen as vixens. This one is no different.

18. This cat knows how to don a sweater.

Not sure how he keeps cool during the summer. But he doesn’t look quite bad either.

19. Get a load of this colorful cat.

Yes, this colorful tiger seems straight out of a drug trip. But they just like to hang around.

20. This dog always knows how to rock.

Here he is in his furry get up. He even has his own hat for his ears to stick out.

21. This cat loves hanging by the waterside.

Though they may not want to go into the water. Since it might ruin their coat.

22. This cat has the world on a staff.

This might be a character from some video game. Then again, you have to like their sense of style.

23. Every dog needs a break now and then.

Well, we all can use a break. Furries are probably no exception.

24. Someone seems quite excited today.

Well, they’re in their pants and shirt. And they have their paws up in glee.

25. Want to give a hand to this colorful goat?

Keep in mind that a lot of these furries don’t appear in colors that conform to nature. This goat is purple with green feet and horns.

26. This blue fox wears their heart on their coat.

Well, they have hearts on their upper arms. And they seem quite modest about it.

27. Want to play some ball?

Hope you can keep up in a game of catch. Then again, it’s not a game you should play indoors.

28. This horned cat is off on an epic adventure.

And they seem rather sneaky about it if you ask me. Hope they watch the horns.

29. These loveable animals love to train for a fight.

But they’re always in a good sport about it. Yet, don’t mess with them or they will fight.

30. This dragon loves to spread their wings.

Kind of surprise you don’t see a lot of dragons at these events. Since they’re among the coolest fantasy creatures.

31. Bet you’re expecting this white tiger to drop and give twenty.

Yet, whatever the case, this tiger seem irritated about it. Not sure why, exactly.

32. How about you raise your paws for this tiger?

Sure they may seem a bit dirty. But they’re happy to smile for the camera.

33. This bird of prey has come to roost.

This bird also looks familiar. Not sure where I’d recognize them from.

34. Get a look at this friendly zebra.

Because zebras in the wild are usually too mean for domestication. Since they have to defend themselves against lions.

35. This dog always loves to receive a heart now and then.

Doesn’t hurt that she’s wearing a wig and glasses. Don’t worry, she won’t bite.

36. This wolf feels rather ambivalent about city life.

And I’m sure they’re not in Pittsburgh. Since it’s a coastal area while Pittsburgh certainly isn’t.

37. This dog always shows pride in their ears.

And they don’t mind standing for the photo either. Still, they have their unique kind of charm.

38. Who says dogs don’t have wings?

Actually, dogs don’t have wings in real life. But in furry land, an animal can have as many attributes as desired.

39. Perhaps a snowy owl may interest you.

Though this owl likes to wear clothes like they’re from a fantasy story. Not exactly sure why.

40. “I shall call him, Mini Me.”

Well, they have stuffed dog in a similar patterned scarf. So you can get the idea.

41. This spotted pooch loves to sport a long jacket.

Guess they’re on a key mission. Not sure but they’ll never say.

42. This yellow beast sports a flower necklace.

She also seems rather coy about being photographed. But her yellow fur makes her stand out.

43. This wolf loves to play in the snow.

Not sure why Pittsburgh would host Anthro Con in the winter than the summer. Weather wise, it would make more sense.

44. Who can turn down flowers from this dog?

Indeed, the roses are fake. But this dog seems quite sweet with its puppy eyes.

45. Who says a tiger can’t come in on a scooter?

This yellow and black striped tiger shows otherwise. And they seem to have a rather good time.

46. I wouldn’t go near Puss in Boots if I were you.

Because when he shows his kitty cat eyes, he’s about to attack. Since he uses them to get his enemies to drop their guard.

47. Some colorful dog would like to say hello.

They may be dining out. But that doesn’t mean they won’t turn down a photo op.

48. Didn’t know they can do hand signs with paws.

Yet, they don’t seem to mind as they salute for the camera. And wearing a multicolored scarf around their neck.

49. Who wants to give a cat a hug?

There they are dressed and in a pile of leaves. But they seem quite happy to spread out their arms.

50. Bet you’d never come across a horse like this before.

Yes, that’s a furry horse. And yes, they almost seem like they’re straight from a fantasy story.

51. You always have that one furry willing to show off their tail.

This one has a long, striped tail with bright blue stripes on it. And they’re dying to show it off.

52. This cat seems like a slave to fashion.

They’re in a sleek skirt and matching skirt. So this cat must make herself fancy.

53. Best you don’t go near this big black dog.

Yet, he seems to keep his sleek black coat impeccable. But beware of them.

54. Who says furries don’t like dancing?

This fox always knows how to do the tango. Though I wonder if they know the fox trot.

55. This dog likes showing off their blue fur.

Well, their belly seems to contain blue shades. But they love to rock their coat for the picture.

56. This blue cat just wants to swing by.

They have pink and blue stripes. And they seem to like hanging around the spiral staircase.

57. This lion just wants to hang out in a tree.

Though they seem to have some spots on their coat. Not sure why that is.

58. This dog has to be in a harness.

Wonder if they’re kept on a leash. Though this dog seems friendly to me.

59. Can you give a paw to this pink cat?

She even has her own collar. And you got to love her pink spots, too.

60. This cat knows how to rock a suit.

Sure he may be a tabby. But that doesn’t mean he can dress too shabby.

61. Apparently, this fox has his pants ultimately ripped.

He even seems equipped with belts on his chest. Bet he’s on an adventure.

62. Want to play in the snow with this dragon?

Well, if you get cold, this dragon can breathe some fire. But they better not scorch a forest.

63. This brave wolf knows how to use an ax.

He’s even clad in armor for added protection. And I guess he couldn’t fit into the helmet and pants.

64. This bird has plenty to crow about.

This one has a bird spreading their wings. Wonder what kind it’s supposed to be since you have to look from the back.

65. Not sure if I want to run into this bear in the woods.

Seems like a rather realistic costume if you get my drift. Wonder how many times they get mistaken for the real thing.

66. You might want to get acquainted with this goat.

And they seem rather fuzzy in their white coat. Not to mention how they rock the horns.

67. This white tiger just wants to lay around with the other cats.

You have to wonder what the cat is thinking. Because it may not have the slightest idea.

68. All these furries want are free hugs.

They even have free hug signs. Still, I don’t think there’s much to worry about with them.

69. Bet you wouldn’t run into to this funky goat.

They’re mostly blue and wearing a hat over the scarf. Check out those pink glasses.

70. You wouldn’t like this polar bear when they’re angry.

And it seems that this bear is on the rampage. So best to stay away from them.

71. Apparently, this buck decided to go stag.

After all, he came all by himself. But I wouldn’t lock antlers with him on a bad day.

72. This cat knows how to use the Force.

Here they sit on the couch with a purple lightsaber in hand. But they will pounce when threatened.

73. Hope you didn’t think you’d see them in this post.

Indeed this is the Pink Panther. Cue the iconic Harry Mancini music.

74. Check this fox on the bridge.

Not sure if they’re in Pittsburgh. But the city does have at least one yellow bridge.

75. Seems like these two have a kitten in their paws.

Well, the kitten is a plush toy. But these cats seem to care about each other.

76. This dog greets everyone with open paws.

They’re even wearing a shirt and shorts. And they’re wanting for a hug.

77. This black dog has a rather sneaky side.

This guy is called Zippo Wolf. And I bet they’re in Pittsburgh for the convention.

78. Lay your eyes on this blue raccoon.

They’re even wearing a gray sweat shirt. Still, hope they don’t get in your garbage.

79. This lonely kitty needs a hug.

Well, they’re pouting at this point. So now may not be a great time.

80. This dog always loves to nibble on a steak now and then.

Well, as long as it’s plush steak. But they don’t seem to mind.

Advertisements

The Art of LEGO

Lego-e1520089244955-1080x640

They may be indestructible plastic blocks that hurt like hell when you step on them. But these colorful interlocking bricks from Denmark have had a special place in our hearts along with their yellow minifigure figurines. Since 1949, these bricks can be assembled and connected in a variety of ways to construct objects, vehicles, buildings, and even working robots. Anything built can be taken apart for another day. As of 2016, Lego has produced over 600 billion bricks while supporting movies, games, competitions, and 6 Legoland amusement parks have been developed under one of the world’s most powerful brands. And it’s because these bricks are so versatile that several people with too much time on their hands have turned the iconic LEGO into the realm of art with sculptures, models, dioramas, and mosaics. Many of these may imitate existing cultural artifacts and every day objects. Others have their own original design. But each is worth marveling at in its own way. So for your own reading pleasure, I give you a treasure trove of Lego works of art.

  1. You’d almost think Whistler’s mother would come to life in the brick.

Kind of seems a bit life size and 3-dimensional. But almost appears you’re in the room with her.

2. Perhaps a small Lego country church may suit you.

These Lego buildings can be small enough for a table top. While some can be large to take up a whole room. Also, there seems to be a wedding taking place here.

3. Try breaking off a piece of this Kit Kat Bar.

Sure you can’t eat it. Since it’s made out of plastic bricks. But it’s quite interesting to look at.

4. You’ll never have to water a Lego bonsai.

Such a delicate structure that you’d almost mistake it for the real thing. Yet, at least it’s easy to maintain since you don’t have to water it.

5. Feel free to color your world with these crayons.

Actually you can’t do that since they’re made of Legos. But one of them is slightly unwrapped.

6. Looks like Mt. Brick Helens has finally blown its top.

Got to like the Lego clouds. Wonder how the artist managed to keep the whole thing on balance.

7. You’d almost swear that this Lego King Tut façade is straight from Ancient Egypt.

Well, it’s certainly quite colorful. And King Tut seems like he’s smiling at this angle.

8. Perhaps you can use a lawn mower for your grass.

You’d almost think it was a real lawn mower. But it’s mostly made from Lego and can’t actually cut grass.

9. A Concorde jet can travel at supersonic speeds.

Unfortunately, you can’t fly on one of them. But you have to admire this LEGO model.

10. Live on Tape from the Brick Sullivan Theater in New York City, it’s Stephen Colbert.

Can’t get through the Trump Administration without this guy. Still, like how they use a pair of glasses for his Lego bust.

11. Bird lovers will enjoy this perched blue jay.

Indeed, this is a small creation. But it’s nonetheless lovely to look at. So pretty.

12. Take a glance at this Lego sailing ship.

This one has tall sails and a red hull. However, I have to admit it looks great on a shelf.

13. Be careful with this Ming vase.

Actually it’s made from sturdier stuff than porcelain. But you don’t want to drop it either.

14. Behold, the ruins of ancient Greece.

Wonder if this is supposed to be a Lego version of the Athenian acropolis. Nonetheless, it almost seems like the real thing.

15. “Help! There’s a giant gorilla climbing the Empire State Building!”

As we all remember that iconic scene from King Kong. And yes, it’s all in Lego and in a large warehouse.

16. Perhaps this ornate clock will tell you the time of day.

Yes, it’s a Lego cuckoo clock. But unlike what Harry Lime says in The Third Man, it wasn’t invented in Switzerland.

17. How about a bear head on your wall?

Don’t worry, it’s just made out of Lego bricks. Yet, it carries an expression of a bear in the headlights after it shit in the woods.

18. Here’s Sheriff Woody and Buzz Lightyear like you’ve never seen them before.

Since 1995, Woody and Buzz have been close friends and icons at Pixar and Disney. And they’re quite giant size in Lego.

19. If you love Virginia, take some time to see Thomas Jefferson’s beautiful Monticello.

Yes, it’s a scaled down Lego model. But you have to admire the close resemblance.

20. Care to explore this jungle waterfall?

Can’t believe you can make such a landscape with such bricks. Love the waterfall and trees.

21. This Lego moon base is out of this world.

Though it seems more like a galactic metropolis than anything. But it’s amazing to see with its colorful towers.

22. If you’re a fan of The Hobbit, you might enjoy this magnificent village.

It’s the village you see near the dwarf’s mountain city. You know the one that has Smaug and a shitload of treasure.

23. Anyone can admire a graceful Bald Eagle.

And it’s perched on a ledge. Still, it’s the animal symbol of the USA. And it’s no wonder.

24. All aboard to an exotic location on this Lego Cruise Line.

And yes, it’s surprisingly huge. But you really don’t want things going wrong on a cruise ship vacation.

25. If you’re from the Philippines, you’d smile at this Lego map.

It’s a map of the Philippines with some of it’s structures on it. I’m sure anyone from that country would enjoy this work of art.

26. This Lego Cinderella would outshine at any brick ball.

Well, she certainly has the Disney charm in her blue dress. But once she leaves her glass shoe, you’ll be scrambling to search for her.

27. Nobody can resist these Lego penguins.

Comprises of an adult emperor and chick. And yes, they’re just as adorable as the real thing.

28. A Lego Hogwarts castle is certainly a place for magic.

And yes, it’s simply massive as you can see. In some pictures, it even lights up.

29. Any Hobbit would love to live at Lego Bag End in the Shire.

Well, this is a small model. But it’s akin to a lovely hobbit hole in the countryside.

30. Dr. Seuss fans would rejoice with this Lego Sam I Am.

But I would rather not try his green eggs and ham. Because I don’t want to get any bad case of food poisoning.

31. This small Dresden cathedral seems almost heavenly.

Yes, it’s an amazing Lego replica. But I hear the rest of Dresden isn’t quite as picturesque.

32. You will thaw over this Lego polar bear mom with her cubs.

Too bad these beautiful creatures are losing their habitat due to climate change. Since they rely on the ice so much in their Arctic home which is melting at record rates.

33. I guess this is a modest dwelling for a samurai.

Sure it’s not as spectacular as the other Japanese Lego structures. But you have to love the garden and bridge on this.

34. You might gaze at the Washington Mall.

Of course, the Washington Mall is much bigger than that. Yet, this one includes the Lincoln Memorial and the Washington Monument.

35. Anyone would marvel at this Tyrannosaurus Rex skeleton.

This one has a nest of eggs. nearby. Yet, it’s a prehistoric Lego masterpiece.

36. Get a load of this giant Blackberry phone.

He even has his own face in the screen. And it’s all made out of Legos.

37. Check these Lego sculptures from a galaxy far, far away.

These consist of Darth Vader and Chewbacca. And I’m sure the Force is strong with them.

38. Anyone would love to have a moose mounted on their wall.

And it’s all made out of Lego bricks. Perfect for any cozy study or living room.

39. You don’t want to mess with the powerful Maleficent.

Since she can turn into a fire breathing dragon. And here’s a replica of her against Prince Philip.

40. Perhaps you might want to put some Legos under a microscope.

Well, this is a Lego microscope. Not sure if it works. But it’s quite cool to see.

41. Look no further for the seat of British power.

These are the Houses of Parliament and the seat of the British government, which Guy Fawkes tried to blow up. And yes, it includes the famous Big Ben Tower.

42. Care for a Lego Eggo for a complete breakfast?

Actually you don’t want to eat it since it’s made from Legos. But it has butter and syrup on it.

43. Wes Anderson fans would adore this Grand Budapest Hotel.

And yes, the Grand Budapest is in its exquisite 1930s decadent glory. Don’t ask about its concierge Gustave.

44. Didn’t know you can make a globe with plastic blocks.

You have to marvel at the exquisite detail, too. I mean the topography is almost top notch.

45. Had no idea that Santa’s workshop was an underground operation.

Has a whole assembly line and everything. And you’d think it was a lone house with a tree.

46. Explore the wonders of Lego Petra.

This is a replica of a palace that was built into a rock face. And its revelation has made it the stuff of legend.

47. You’d almost think this Starry Night mosaic is the work of a master.

Well, a master Lego artist copying from Van Gogh’s most famous work. And yes, it’s almost spot on in Lego.

48. No need to worry about this offshore oil rig.

Since it’s made of Legos and constructed just for show. So you won’t have to worry about a massive oil spill like Deepwater Horizon.

49. Someone must’ve crashed their plane.

Now they’re stranded in the wilderness and not sure where to go. But at least the plane didn’t explode upon landing in the trees.

50. With this Lego light bulb, you can light up the world.

Though you’d have to use a light bulb inside the light bulb. But it’s nonetheless amazing.

51. Want to drive this Ford Model T?

It’s more of a scaled down model made from Lego. But like the original, only available in black.

52. A rainbow pinwheel flower can always please.

And boy, what a large flower it is. Not sure if can actually turn though. But it’s pretty.

53. All aboard the RMS Titanic.

Actually, I’d rather not since I know what happened. Still, this Lego replica of the doomed ocean liner is immense.

54. You’ll probably have to assemble this one all by yourself.

Since it’s a Lego IKEA. You know the Swedish store for furniture you have to put together yourself.

55. 3, 2, 1, Houston, we have liftoff.

This is a Lego shuttle launch. Looks quite amazing in an indoor setting, doesn’t it?

56. Nobody could imagine this Lego map of the world.

This one includes the Earth’s topography. And yes, you can lay it down flat.

57. Lego American Gothic is a new twist on an iconic masterpiece.

This is in a similar mode as Whistler’s Mother. And yes, it’s quite spot on.

58. Ride along the river with this golden dragon boat.

Guess this is a Lego replica of a royal barge. Not sure where this is supposed to be from.

59. If you’re a Warhol fan, you might appreciate this Lego mosaic.

That’s the iconic Campbell Soup picture if you’re wondering. Had to include this since Warhol was a native of Pittsburgh.

60. Wonder how many are in this nesting doll.

This is a Lego Russian nesting doll. I’m sure you’ll find plenty of smaller ones inside another.

61. Perhaps you might want to live in a treehouse near a waterfall.

Indeed, it gives a rather breathtaking view. But this Lego replica can just as well be a work of art.

62. Please stop and smell the roses or tulips. I’m not sure what these are.

Since Lego flowers can be hard to identify. But they’re nonetheless pretty.

63. “That’s one small step for man..”

Care to salute a Lego astronaut? Wonder if he’s almost life size.

64. A majestic hawk can always spread its wings.

Wonder what kind of hawk this is supposed to be. Since it seems incredibly huge to be life size.

65. If you’re the proper sort, you might like Lego Downton Abbey.

Yes, there’s a Lego Downton Abbey. And I’m sure you’ll be pissed if any of the minifigs die, too.

66. Lego Santa Claus wishes you a Merry Christmas.

And he on a wintry backdrop. Still, he’s quite lifelike and life-size.

67. Lego Captain America is Marvel’s patriotic champion.

Yet, I wonder why he can’t save us from our country’s biggest threat. Like Donald Trump in the White House. Oh, wait, he’s a fictional character.

68. Set your hands on this Greek column.

Well, it’s a Lego column. And yes, it’s quite Ionic if you ask me.

69. You’d almost think you were inside a mummy’s tomb.

However, these are all made out of Legos. But the resemblance is quite close.

70. A Lego Vatican is the answer God has been waiting for.

This was made by a priest, by the way. But it’s nonetheless spectacular.

71. A Moai statue will surely please admirers.

We’re still not sure why the people of Easter Island erected these massive statues. But you can’t help but appreciate this.

72. Even Jabba the Hutt can’t resist this Han Solo in carbonite.

Yes, there’s even a Lego version for that. And yes, it’s almost life size.

73. While Harry isn’t at Hogwarts, he loves spending summers at the Weasley’s Burrow.

The Burrow may not be the most stable place. But it’s home to the Weasleys. Still, this is a great Lego replica.

74. Want to shoot some pool?

And yes, these are all made from Legos. Not sure if you can actually play with these. But they’re quite cool.

75. Travel the Mississippi River on this quaint old steamship.

While it may evoke feelings of nostalgia for a bygone time, these were very dangerous in their day. Seriously, these were prone to fires.

76. Of course, I had to include a Renaissance masterpiece.

This is the Mona Lisa in Lego form. And her smile is as enigmatic as ever.

77. Anyone want to enjoy a turkey dinner?

And yes, it seems to look quite good. Though you wouldn’t want to eat it. Care for a drumstick?

78. You have to admire these colorful parrots.

They’re even on a Lego ledge. But don’t try to get either to talk.

79. Anyone in Paris can appreciate the Arch de Triomphe.

It’s one of the most famous landmarks in Paris. After the Eiffel Tower, the Lourve, and Notre Dame Cathedral, of course.

80. Abu Simbel is a temple fit for a Pharaoh.

The temple was built by Ramses II, by the way. But this is a replica in Legoland.

81. “Someday we’ll find it, the Lego connection…”

Yes, this is Lego Kermit the Frog with a banjo. Built for the lovers, the dreamers, and me.

82. You’d be tickled by this silly old bear.

This is a Lego Winnie the Pooh. Such an inoffensive character yet he’s somehow banned in China.

83. Best you beware of this ferocious Tiger.

This one even has fangs. But it’s harmless since it’s made out of Lego.

84. Indiana Jones has just come from an epic adventure.

Wonder what kind of ancient structure he had to destroy to get that trinket. Yes, I know it belongs in a museum.

85. Care to ride in this rainbow hot air balloon?

However, I’m not sure it can float up in the air. Because hard plastic can be rather dense.

86. This Lego family is just taking a rest.

This is from a Legoland, by the way. But they seem a rather happy family.

87. Try launching this rocket, NASA.

This is a Lego replica of a Saturn V. The rocket used to launch astronauts to the moon.

88. Bet you can’t catch this Roadrunner.

And Wiley Coyote would know more than anything. Since he’s been through hell and back trying to catch this impossible bird.

89. Lo and behold, He has risen!

Here’s Lego Jesus in front of a stained glass window. And yes, he’s glorified within the white brick.

90. Anyone would be mesmerized by this snowy owl.

Don’t worry. It won’t claw or bite you. Nor will it deliver your mail.

91. Even if it leans, the Tower of Pisa will still stand.

This is a Lego version of the Leaning Tower of Pisa. Since it was built on rather unsteady ground.

92. Nobody could resist this ornery and adorable BB8.

BB8 is basically R2-D2 on steroids. And yes, he’s quite versatile and feisty.

93. Beware of the dreaded monster of the deep.

Yes, the Lego shark is ferocious with its sharp teeth. But it won’t hurt anyone.

94. Feel free to walk around the US Capitol.

This is the Lego US Capitol. Note the lack of protestors. Still, it looks magnificent.

95. At Legoland, your wedding will have a cake like this.

Well, it’s a Lego wedding cake that will only be used for decoration. Because hard plastic isn’t edible.

96. Many Bothams died building this.

Actually, that’s the wrong Death Star. But if you’re building a Lego Alderaan, you might want to stay clear of this guy.

97. With a castle like this, dreams will come true.

This is a Lego replica of Cinderella’s castle at Disney World. It also appears on the Disney logo.

98. Mt. Olympus is reputed to be the home of the gods.

Well, the gods of Ancient Greece. A dysfunctional family of jerks who commit incest and do whatever they damn well please no matter. Just don’t tell them you’re better than them and they will put you through hell.

99. Haiga Sophia is the jewel of Constantinople (now Istanbul).

It’s an architectural marvel known to withstand earthquakes. Nonetheless, you have to love the massive dome and minarets.

100. This painting is well worth a scream.

It’s a Lego version of Edvard Munch’s The Scream. And it’s 3-dimensional, too.

I Want You to View These Vintage Wartime Propaganda Posters (Third Edition)

6870572757_72134d2040_b

Every year around the 4th of July (at least for the last two years), I’ve done a post of these old timey war propaganda posters which have become pop culture icons and occasionally internet memes. However, in late June I had to attend a wedding in Minnesota while a bunch of crazy stuff went on in the Trump administration, which I had to catch up on when I came back. So I’m running a little late with this. Anyway, unlike some of the propaganda outlets of today like Brietbart or Fox News, these war time posters weren’t really meant to deceive. If anything, they were more like Public Service Announcements stating that, “we’re all in this together,” especially the ones pertaining to WWII when the threat to survival was very real. At any rate, the artwork is always interesting to look at which is why they’re still in our public consciousness long after the wars they originated in have been long over. So for your reading pleasure, I give you another treasury of good old-fashioned wartime propaganda posters.

  1. He does his bit for 4 years so you buy bonds.

Since he’s Scottish, he wears a kilt in his uniform. Yes, I know it’s part of his heritage. But it’s not a great clothing choice to wear in the trenches.

2. “Hit Hard and often with the Marines!”

Apparently, this means bombing the shit out of some Japanese city. To be fair, we were at war with them at the time. But I kind of hate seeing beautiful architecture reduced to ruin though.

3. To prevent loose heads, inspect daily.

Because you don’t want a hammer to lose its head and land on your foot. Since it hurts like hell.

4. Work in construction? Join the Seabees.

These are US naval construction battalions. Yet, they seem to have among the least badass names ever.

5. Fight for Canada and stab bayonets into fire breathing vultures.

Well, I guess the black bird symbolizes Germany. Yet, while the Canadian soldier will beat the crap out of them, he’ll be polite about it.

6. “Every Time You Twist a Nut, Think of Hitler.”

I know they mean this in a mechanical sense. But you can also make an inside joke out of it, too.

7. If you’re Filipino, thank Japan for invading you.

Yes, the Philippines was a US territory at the time. And Japan is pointing out the US is playing they’re liberators from the Imperial oppressors angle. However, history shows us that this psychological tactic didn’t work.

8. Got tin cans, send them to the war effort.

Don’t forget to take off the labels and flatten them. Because you don’t want the salvage collector to reject them.

9. Serve those who served, become a VA nurse.

So you can treat soldiers who might be missing limbs and are suffering from PTSD. Yet, please don’t ask them about them watching their friends die.

10. The Army Corps of Engineers always clears the way.

So join up and you, too, could be a giant GI that would make Captain America look like a sissy. You’ll also get giant equipment, too.

11. “You’ll buy ’em, we’ll fly ’em!”

For this dead-eyed pilot needs all the ammo he needs to shoot at Messerschmitt’s. Buy bond stamps, please.

12. Join the Signal Corps where skill and courage count.

Because there needs to be some kind of communication among the burning rubble of Western Europe. Though I’m not sure what kind of horn can be heard above machine gun fire.

13. Can’t fight? Send money!

This is for the Canadian Patriotic Fund. And yes, Canada actually fought in both world wars.

14. Blot out the Hun with Liberty Bonds.

As far as propaganda posters are concerned, this was the easiest to design. Just a red hand print and typeface and voila.

15. Don’t pick up sultry ladies, soldiers, since they’re loaded with disease.

Indeed, even warnings on VD won’t stop soldiers from picking up prostitutes. Because many of them might be dead in the next fight anyway.

16. Hold up your end and send bonds!

Yet, not sure if this would help the nurse holding one end of a stretcher. Also, it’s for a bond fundraiser.

17. Are you Irish and Canadian? Join up and fight for Mom!

I’m sorry, but Whistler was neither Irish or Canadian. But that didn’t stop Canadians from using his painting as a recruitment poster.

18. “Grind These Heels in Our Wheels of US Production!”

Nowadays we just use robots to make the stuff. Unless they require some technical skill and engineering.

19. Join the military police of the troops and for the troops.

If being a soldier isn’t tough enough for you, then become a military cop to make sure your fellow men aren’t killing each other on their off-hours. May or may not be able to stop officers from committing war crimes.

20. Join a Volunteer Agricultural Camp to lend a hand on the land.

However, you’re unlikely to find any hunky man on the farm who’s neither terribly disabled or suffering from PTSD. Because those guys are overseas.

21. You came to this country, now help us preserve it. Save your wheat and food.

To be fair, there ware a lot of immigrants during WWI. So the image is warranted if you think otherwise.

22. Be an American Eagle and join the Army Air Service.

Disclaimer: New pilots will only receive limited training before combat. Also, average time in the air is 20 minutes.

23. Know a trade? Build for your Navy.

Yes, this is another Seabees poster. But this one is for the yards and docks where combat opportunities are limited.

24. Support the troops, send more fish.

Because fighting the German menace is more important than thinking about overfishing. Since fish is a fighting food.

25. “Dad, I’m off to war so you buy bonds!”

Since Johnny will have to leave his elderly father sooner or later. He’ll be drafted if he doesn’t volunteer.

26. Remember to practice safe SECS.

Meaning if you’re a soldier fighting, don’t give away certain info related to your job. Because the enemy can intercept it.

27. “Do it right, make it bite!”

So make bombs the right way to shoot down the enemy planes. Kind of a disturbing message to send.

28. Keep New Orleans safe, don’t talk about ship sailings.

Because a slip of the lip can sink a ship. For you don’t know who in New Orleans can be working for the Nazis.

29. Join WAVES and work on parachute strings.

Because someone has to make the parachutes strings straight on those Navy planes. So they’ll make a woman do it.

30. Pour that molten metal on to make the planes.

For the planes can’t make themselves. Also, don’t forget to put on your safety equipment. Though shirts are optional for some reason.

31. Keep America calm and stop needless noise.

Well, that’s something I can still get behind. Yet, this poster is telling Americans not to panic when everything goes to shit.

32. See that dead soldier? Well, he’s gone because of careless talk.

So keep your mouth shut and the next group of soldiers would be parachuting down alive. Understand?

33. Support your country, save waste paper.

Not sure what they’d use the waste paper for. But they also give instruction for packing certain types.

34. When America’s under threat, Lady Liberty draws her sword.

When Lady Liberty draws her sword, it’s really going to go down. Just look what the US did during the world wars.

35. Support the war effort and keep that lumber coming.

Since soldiers need to use all the wood they can get. Though the ones in the Pacific might be surrounded by jungle.

36. When you show up for work, you’re punching Hitler’s face.

So keep punching in every day. However, be careful with the munitions equipment that could send you to the hospital.

37. To win the war, more women must go to work.

But once the war’s over, women must leave their jobs for the men and settle down to be happy housewives. Kind of sucks if you think about it.

38. Soldiers, beware of the Juke Joint Sniper.

She’s also known as a prostitute or whore. And yes, she’s loaded with STDs.

39. Uncle Sam’s not done fighting yet.

So, Japan is next. And that would mean the US will drop a couple nukes on it until the country surrenders.

40. Support your country, build bombs and buy bonds.

Let’s hope she doesn’t cause an accident. Though her face does evoke some sadistic glee akin to a serial killer.

41. Make sure you can load and unload those docks fast.

Got to get those goods for the troops quick. Else, we’ll end up with Fascism.

42. When Columbia calls, men must enlist.

Funny, we don’t even use Columbia as Liberty anymore. Yet, she wields a flag and sword.

43. Save your country, donate your binoculars to the US Navy.

Since us looking for enemy U-boats is more important than spying on the neighbors and birdwatching. So send your binoculars, please.

44. Don’t forget to prepare for air raid protection.

Since you’ll never know whether the Germans will bomb the shit out of your hometown. Just ask the Brits.

45. Remember, that pickups might be full of STDs.

And these were meant for your grandparents’ generation. So I guess many didn’t keep it in their pants for their sweethearts back home.

46. Help us win the war so save your food.

Because all your food waste can be used to feed some hungry soldiers. And we need them well-fed to win.

47. Join the sub service to hit the Japanese where it hurts.

So join up living with a bunch of other guys like you in a cramped space to bring down Japanese aircraft carriers. Still, not exactly a nice place to be at.

48. Free speech doesn’t mean careless talk.

So use your freedom of speech wisely. Also, don’t talk around parrots.

49. Help win the war, invent for victory.

So if you have a more efficient idea about killing more people at a faster rate, give the US military a call. Hell, do it now.

50. We’ve just begun the fight, so join up.

Though this guy seems kind of frightened to me. Like he’s pleading for help than leading a charge.

51. Protect yourself since STDs are everywhere.

So remember, stay away from prostitutes. Or other scarlet women for that matter.

52. Support the war effort and build more B-24s.

It’s a bomber plane by the way. Still, if you’re assigned to one of these during WWII, best you write your last will and testament. Since they have a 50% survival rate.

53. Support the war effort by finding a job that fits you best.

Offer only valid until war ends. After that, women must give up their jobs for the menfolk. Because they belong in the kitchen according to their antiquated ideas.

54. Women, help our boys win the war and buy bonds.

Or else, this sweet old lady might feed you a poisoned pie. So send money.

55. Don’t boast till it’s over. Enemies also have their production machine going, too.

So best you don’t say anything until it’s all over. Whenever that is.

56. All you British ladies, come into the factories.

Just don’t blow yourself up and know you’ll only have that job until your man comes home. So keep calm and carry on.

57. Men of Britain, best you join up and stop air raids. Else, you’ll have your house bombed.

Of course, if you’re a guy during WWII, you’ll already fail miserably. Because we all know the Germans bombed the shit out of the UK. Though this one depicts a large airship for some reason.

58. In wartime, give all the help and comfort you can.

This is from the Jewish Welfare Board during WWI. But it would’ve worked just as well in WWII for obvious reasons.

59. Support your country and dig on for victory.

Since food rations for civilians can only go so far. So get on with your vegetable garden.

60. This summer of 1917, don’t forget to enlist since your country needs you.

If not, then expect Uncle Sam to look upon you in dismay. Also, you might get arrested for trying to buck the draft.

61. Your country needs you, join the Navy.

And yes, they use the woman in a naval uniform again. Despite that she won’t wear it in real life.

62. Are you a girl with a star-spangled heart? Be a WAC.

Look, ladies, you can join the Army, too. Of course, you won’t be assigned to combat duty. Because that’s men’s stuff.

63. Remember, sailors, don’t tell your date about naval operations.

After all, she could be German for all you know. Careless talk costs lives.

64. Are you a woman not doing vital work? Your country needs you now.

Because while the men are away, women need to step up. This is especially if they don’t have husbands or kids.

65. Are you playing square, soldier? Save gas.

Since the world only has a limited supply of oil. Best you save on your tank for the troops.

66. Only you can prevent forest fires and Fascism.

Kind of expecting Smokey the Bear to turn up at any moment. But he won’t be around till the 1950s.

67. Join the Marines to fight first in France for freedom.

Keep in mind you’ll be spending hours in some filthy trenches. Hope you don’t mind rats.

68. They have the guts, donate scrap metal.

Cause those tanks need all the scrap they could get. Not to mention, bullets are made of metal, too.

69. We can’t win the war without women.

Yes, you can’t win a war without women. But they still treated them like crap once it’s over.

70. Don’t crow or we lose the war.

And yes, there’s a giant rooster with the Axis Powers. So best keep your mouth shut and avoid careless talk.

71. Answer the call and join Pershing’s Crusaders.

But unlike their medieval counterparts, they don’t fight for their souls. And they spend more time in the trenches.

72. Support the men in the trenches. Enlist now.

Yeah, I know it’s a miserable experience with filth, disease, gunfire, and No Man’s Land. But your country needs you at the front. Still, the guy’s kind of creepy.

73. As Americans, we’ve always fought for liberty.

And it’s made no difference whether they’re Brits or Nazis. Yet, the uniforms and equipment have drastically changed.

74. Victory is always a question of stamina.

So send the troops your meats, fats, sugars, and anything laden with carbs. Since they need energy in the trenches.

75. When the empire is threatened, the lions must rise to the occasion.

Despite that it’s the lionesses who always do everything. Men, what can you do with them?

76. Women should always respond to the call of service for their country.

Yes, women, respond to the call of service. Your God-given right to vote can wait later. Since this is WWI poster.

77. Fight for your country, Australians, or the Germans will win.

Here they have Australia as New Germany. That should scare them into enlistment.

78. In America, free labor will always win.

Because American made weapons are top of their grade. Yet, we also have large multinational corporations willing to play both sides.

79. America beat the Germans before and we’ll beat them again.

However, this time they’re fighting for Der Fuhrer instead of the Kaiser. So it’s a bigger deal.

80. You never know who’s listening on the party line.

For it just as well could be Hitler for all you know. So no careless talk on the phone.

81. Support your country and join the Red Cross.

Sure they may be a great organization. But don’t mind its dubious reputation relating to corruption.

82. As FDR said, we must preserve hope. So buy bonds.

Not sure if this FDR image freaks me out. But he kind of reminds me of a mad scientist who’s about to experiment on some hapless trespasser in his castle.

83. This American soldier will go over the top for you.

And you see the soldier carrying the American flag. But in WWI, they’ll seldom go over the top. Since No Man’s Land is a real hell hole.

84. This woman’s husband is proud she did her part.

Well, at least he tries to be supportive. Though the expression reminds me of a man who’s struggling to feel secure with his masculinity. Yet, can’t help but feel a bit resentful over the whole thing.

85. Do your bit and get into the khaki.

Cause who else is going to fight in Gallipoli alongside a hot Mel Gibson? Sorry if I offended any Australian reading this.

86. Stop the black market. Don’t buy or sell on it.

Too bad there will always be a black market. And people will always make money on it.

87. British Empire soldiers always stand together.

That doesn’t mean the soldiers will get independence or be treated equally. But it’s WWI so it’s a recruitment tool.

88. America needs more nurses.

Here Uncle Sam gives a new nurse her hat. Now they wear scrubs.

89. While our men are at war, serve on the home front.

This is from Pennsylvania by the way. And there are some civilian organizations you can join, too.

90. Support the war effort, conserve energy.

Just remember there were no windmills, solar panels, and geothermal energy sources. So conserving fossil fuels is the only option.

91. Always remember that Hitler wants know.

So cut with the careless talk. Or you’ll help Hitler win the war.

92. It’s best to land with the US Marines.

But keep in mind, you wouldn’t want to fight with them on the Pacific. Because it’s a very violent place during WWII.

93. At night, it’s forward to victory.

For the German planes can bomb the shit out of Britain at any time in 1940. Best have the anti-aircraft gun ready at night.

94. Save energy and turn the gas down.

Guess most stoves were powered by natural gas. Seems like they should switch to electric.

95. This soldier lets his M-1 do the talking.

So in wartime, we must be careful on what we say. Or he’ll get riddled with bullets.

96. Why stand by during a brush fire? Fight the Germans back!

Because our effort needs all hands on deck. However, now our brushfire is the Trump administration. And too many are standing by watching our country burn thanks to Donald Trump, white supremacists, greedy corporations, and right-wing conspiracy nutjobs.

97. Save your coins, kids, and by war stamps.

And when little Jimmy turns 18, it’s straight to the trenches. But wars can’t win themselves, you know.

98. Support the troops, send money to the Red Cross.

Nowadays contributing to the Red Cross doesn’t carry as much weight as it used to. Yet, in this one, it acts like a shield for Lady Liberty.

99. Watch the ramparts, join the Army Air Forces.

And here he is holding a large bomb to be dropped in some city. But thanks to him, the skies won’t be so friendly.

100. Instead of dreaming of victory, fight for it! Buy bonds!

For soldiers can’t get on without stuff in the trenches. So send the US government money despite that they spend more on the military than anything else.

The World According to Stock Photography

antonio-guillem-girl-winning-good-news-stock-photography

While much of my blog has been filled with posts teeming with outrage over what my country has become since President Pussy-Grabber was sworn in to encouraging ICE to separate families at the border and putting children in cages, tent cities, and concentration camps, we should try to maintain our sanity with some fun now and then. No matter how hard it might seem to be. Nonetheless, like Lord Hamsterhair Cheetohead lately, stock photography is everywhere since it consists of photographs that can be licensed for public or commercial use. Whether used in marketing, advertising, or design as long as it’s not illegal or harmful, many graphic designers, web designers, and other professionals frequently take advantage of stock images to fill their design needs. Anyway, most often you’ll find stock photos on professional websites and greeting cards. In fact, it’s a whole industry which started in the 1920s as a way for professional photographers to market outtakes from commercial photo shoots. But many pro photographers today take photos exclusively for stock purposes since a large portfolio can earn a considerable amount of money each month from selling their images through a photography website. Even if the photographer doesn’t add new photos on a regular basis. Still, they have a reputation for being notoriously cheesy and generic with bland happy faces in their diverse workplaces of harmony and in their seemingly perfect but bland families. But there are some stock photos that are too ridiculous to explain or don’t seem to have any applicable purpose whatsoever. So for your reading pleasure, I give you an assortment of crazy stock photos. By the way, some of these might not be safe for work.

  1. “Do you know how to work this thing?”

I’m sure these guys have no idea to function as a news crew. Or they’re just goofing off.

2. Anyone can be a princess.

However, this guy seems to be really pushing the envelope. Still, he rocks the red sash.

3. So what do they call if you cross a dog and a frog?

Yes, I know it’s photoshopped. But you have to wonder about the mad scientist who’d create this freak of nature.

4. It’s been said his brains are made of noodles.

Granted, I love pasta and noodles. But this isn’t the kind candlelight dinner I’d want to participate in.

5. Not all snails travel at a snail’s pace.

This one practically gallops. Oh, wait, why does this one have legs?

6. Apparently, The Shape of Water didn’t get a stellar reception on a small budget.

This is why using CGI is important. Because simply kissing a fish is just ridiculous.

7. There are centaurs and there are these.

Somehow a horse head with a human lower body doesn’t look so good. And I think the centaur would agree with me.

8. Some chick just got puffed.

Guess someone decided to get a large blue fro. The other can’t help but stare.

9. Apparently, Swamp Thing decided to leave the swamp and get a regular job.

Though he’s got a tendency to track in leaves now and then. Here you see him fetching a file.

10. When you’ve been in a car wreck but the boss insists you show up for work on Monday.

Yeah, you can’t really do your office job after you’ve been injured in a number of places. But I guess his workplace doesn’t have paid sick leave.

11. When you’re robbing the place and want to show some color.

From Outbound: “A jaunty cravat makes any robbery a special occasion.” And here he’s stealing a hard drive.

12. Bertha always saw herself as a queen.

She’s even wearing a pink dress and a tiara. But she thinks she looks fabulous.

13. This astronaut has a flight to catch in space.

I see he’s got his luggage with him since he can’t do his laundry at the ISS. Still, why is he wearing a space suit?

14. It’s nice that Jerry has decided to make dinner tonight.

Heard his secret sauce is from an old family recipe. It’s said to include a tablespoon of arsenic, a teaspoon of strychnine, and just a pinch of cyanide.

15. This dog breed is known as a Jacques Rousseau Terriere.

He’s easy to distinguish from the Jack Russell with his curly mustache, his taste in French bread and wine, and his penchant for berets, paintings, and arthouse films. And he doesn’t care for pretentious cheap dog food either.

16. Apparently, the mime has just managed to escape from the jaws of death.

And by “jaws” I mean large chomping mouth of teeth you’d find at a dentist’s office. Doesn’t seem thrilling does it?

17. Seems like this chimp is quite the chatterbox.

“And then I told him, ‘Dude, chill down. It’s not worth flinging your poo over.'”

18. Didn’t know you could play frisbee with your pet turtle.

Apparently, they’re really great at playing fetch for some reason. Don’t really see why since they move like, well, turtles.

19. Wonder how many pictures did they take of him?

Even this kid is baffled. And he sat for the other pictures.

20. Her face is a little cracked.

Let’s hope that her delicate eggshell face cracks don’t lead anything to spill over. Because that would really make a mess.

21. Wearing a watermelon helmet changes everything.

This is especially when you’re wearing goggles and stick your tongue out. Wonder if he’s high on life.

22. And now, a stop-motion version of Romeo and Juliet by director Wes Anderson.

Yes, it consists of two people wearing animal masks and dressed in hipster clothing. Don’t think this will go well for Wes. Unless he casts Owen Wilson as Friar Lawrence.

23. With romantic dinners, there are just some foods you shouldn’t make out with.

Sharing a kiss during a romantic dinner a la Lady and the Tramp is romantic. Sharing a kiss during a chicken dinner is just plain disgusting.

24. Crazy Larry will clean your car and keep it nice and polished.

But don’t you leave anything in it. Or else he’ll take it and pawn it off for some extra cash to support his meth habit. He’s also had an infamous reputation with the ladies and a record of sexual misconduct.

25. During desert nights, beware of the fierce and dreaded cattysnake.

Known to hang around pumpkin patches for some reason. But while they may be cuddly, their bites are deadly.

26. “Take that, you pathetic puppy!”

I kind of feel bad for the dog here. I mean how is anyone going to take him seriously after getting the crap beat out of him by a guy in a banana costume?

27. When your baking has caused your stove to burst into flames but you don’t have a care in the world.

The smoke detector is on the fritz like crazy. But instead of getting the fire extinguisher or calling the fire department, he’s watching the stove burn with a glass of wine.

28. Want to eat a slice of bread with nails?

Of course, you want to eat that. Because you’d find swallowing all those nails as painful as hell.

29. You’re never too old to have fun.

Since when do they have rocking horses in adult size? And since when do old men enjoy going on horsey rides?

30. When you just have to get that last selfie while your friend is about to be burned for a human sacrifice.

“I know you’ll be burned to death, Kyle. But for now, let’s remember the good times before I get the hell out of here.”

31. “Greg, I don’t think you get the meaning of ‘Casual Friday.'”

I mean he’s showed up with messy hair and no shirt. And I’m not sure if he’s even wearing pants or shoes.

32. “Ahhh, grass!”

Yes, she enjoys lying in the grass. Then again, she could be murdered in the middle of nowhere.

33. “Wanna see my pineapple dance?”

Funny, how that one pineapple is conveniently placed in her crotch region. Not to mention, she’s wearing a winter hat.

34. When you’re in a tender embrace with your significant other but are considering other options.

Indeed, they’re hugging each other while checking their phones. Guess that’s modern dating nowadays.

35. “Help! I’m trapped in a jar with exclamation points!”

And I guess she’s trying to figure her way out of there. Though she might be running out of ideas.

36. “Answer the question or I’ll shoot!”

Not exactly the best way to deal with the big questions. Shoot first never works well.

37. “It’s a bird, it’s a plane, it’s Business Man!”

Flying in the air faster than a speeding printer and more powerful than a server filled with memoranda. Flying through the sea of finance and willing to save the day from a calamitous paper jam.

38. Presented The Bachelor: Equine Edition.

Watch a bunch of mares compete for the heart of this dashing stallion at this lavish stable. Or as it’s better known: Study Duty.

39. Since she was a little girl, this demonic goblin had a dream to dance.

Here she does her Black Swan dance for the Transylvania Ballet Theater. Graceful isn’t she? Wonder if she’d do well with Gollum.

40. Ever heard of Wendy of Wendy’s? Turns out she has a brother named Wendell.

He’s a certified public accountant at some firm in Cedar Rapids. They don’t talk about him much.

41. “If we should go down, we’ll die together.”

For God’s sake, the two have guns pointed at each other? You can guess they’re going to blow each other’s brains out eventually.

42. A well-dressed mouse should always stand for a portrait.

Though why she has human hands, I have no idea. Though she strikes a regal pose.

43. If you can’t get Bill Nye the Science Guy, here’s Lab Guy Larry.

He’s kind of a poor man’s Bill Nye. Except way more careless and prone to bites from skeletons.

44. This nun seeks prayer and meditation under the sea.

Don’t know how she can be underwater without scuba gear. Not to mention, look serene in that heavy habit.

45. This pampered pooch always has to shop till she drops.

Carrie Pawpaws just has to have those designer dog collars. Not to mention, those fine rawhide bones and squeaky toys.

46. After a career terrorizing Gotham City, the Joker decided to work for Wayne Enterprises as an accountant.

Now whenever he wants to terrorize Gotham, he just embezzles money and commits insider trading. Because white-collar criminals seldom get punished.

47. Open wide for this puffer fish.

Uh, those fish are actually poisonous. So trying to eat one like that is a very easy way to die. But this woman doesn’t get the memo.

48. This boxer has become the reigning champion of his sister’s bedroom.

Or he might just have a girly taste in decorating. You never know. But he doesn’t seem bothered by it either way.

49. Some days you just need to relax with some Post-It Notes.

Notice she has nothing written on them. But she doesn’t give a damn since she’s in her happy place.

50. When you find out that your longtime crush is in a relationship on social media.

Indeed, she feels dead inside. But she can’t really look away. I know she’s getting carried away. Yet, get her time.

51. “Thank God, I saved the crucial paperwork!”

Still, when you’re out in the water, saving the paperwork is the least of your worries. For God’s sake, you’re better off trying to find dry land.

52. “Now, class, when I ring the bell, settle down and I’ll give you candy.”

Not sure if employing Pavlov’s techniques will help. This especially goes if they’re in high school.

53. “Sit down, class, let’s get busy on those physics problems.”

If I had a teacher like that in school, I’d suspect I was in a porno. And that one of my classmates was about to fall victim to statutory rape. Then again, it’s best not to judge by appearances. But come on, would any school let a teacher dress like that?

54. “Sit down, kids, it’s time to learn.”

I guess you won’t have a good time in this guy’s class. Behave or he’ll introduce you to his friend, Mr. Longstick.

55. In the future, people will spend hours marveling and contemplating on corn.

Now I know where that family got their idea for their crazy futuristic corn people Christmas card. Didn’t know it was from a stock photo that made no sense.

56. “All right, don’t move! This is a raid!”

Man, armed robbers and murderers really do start young these days. Also, don’t mind the hand above. My guess is that person is dead.

57. You’ll always have a good time in a string quartet.

Yeah, I don’t think it’s like Sex and the City with stringed instruments and old timey costumes. Yeah, I know it’s really crazy.

58. When it rains, she barely touches the chair.

This stock photo was brought to you by the power and imagination that comes with brown acid. Because someone must’ve been tripping balls to come up with this photo idea.

59. “Paint me like one of your French girls.”

Maybe he should take off his clothes first. Then again, it would still be kind of silly. Except if he had rock hard abs. But I can’t imagine that.

60. For some reason those trapped in jars will either panic or try to get out.

The businessman is especially panicky. The construction worker’s just scaling the walls.

61. I’m positive she’s going out with a bang.

Because that’s what happens when you light a dynamite stick with a cigarette. It’s sure to be explosive.

62. “Oh, shit, I’ve burned the chicken!”

Yet, she’s not wearing oven mitts. While smoke is coming out of the oven.

63. Walk on the moon? That’s so 1969.

So this astronaut has decided to bike on the moon. Not sure if the tires will retain air in the vacuum of space.

64. This Christmas Santa is ditching his sleigh and reindeer for a magic jet.

Because he needs a more efficient way to deliver all those presents on one night. Unfortunately, Rudolph and the other reindeer may not see it that way.

65. Is there a fire? Call the fire lizard.

Well, maybe if the fire is confined to a small tree. Comes complete with his red hat and fire extinguisher.

66. Don’t have a defibrillator? A pair of irons will do.

Still, he seems very excited to use them on his patient. Kind has crazy eyes and a weird smile. This doesn’t look good.

67. Introducing Captain Waggles of the U.S.S. Doggypaddle.

Here he is with a lifejacket and fingers up. Wait a minute, dogs don’t have fingers.

68. It’s said those who live in glass houses shouldn’t throw stones.

And that people who work in glass offices with glass dividers shouldn’t have sex on the job. Let’s hope neither are married with families.

69. When you’re a TV, it’s always dinner for one.

And I see she’s looking at a TV screen. Kind of twisted if you ask me.

70. Didn’t know that farts can leave a cloud of gas.

And it’s drifting to the flowers. Well, at least we aren’t around when the cheese was cut.

71. “Hello, darkness, my old friend….”

Yet, he lies in his bed on a sheet cake which will get his face covered in icing. But he’s laying awake in existential dread and loneliness.

72. When you’re in the buff and you need to feed your cat.

Notice how the fridge door is conveniently placed over him. Just so he can give his cat some meat.

73. “Okay, let’s put our helmets together.”

Yet, they’re clad in high heels and dresses. Not exactly what you’d wear on a motorcycle.

74. Chipmunks like to get it on at the copier.

Don’t know about you. But I’ve got a feeling those at the office will be seeing some chipmunk porn sometime in the near future.

75. Today’s Special: Head.

And she’s in a styrofoam tray covered in plastic wrap. Just like meat at the grocery store.

76. Seems like her lower body isn’t attached to the rest of her.

Yet, she seems to awe at that after the magician sawed her in half. Unfortunately, he couldn’t put her back together.

77. “Excuse me, you dirty whore, but that’s my boyfriend you’re fucking.”

The guy’s like, “Honey, you’re early. Nancy and I were just having a discussion on….adoptions.”

78. Sometimes you can type what you want from the screen.

And the cat’s just staring dumbfounded at the screen. Like it must’ve accidentally drank a milk dish with acid.

79. “Wanna share a cold one with me on the road?”

This guy’s getting so busted if police pull him over. Because drunk driving is dangerous and has killed people.

80. If you want to keep your kids safe on the internet.

My mistake. If you see your kid in night-vision goggles and a tinfoil hat, you best send your kid to a therapist. Otherwise, he might grow up into a full-blown conspiracy theorist like Alex Jones.

81. This guy really wants to see what’s in this laptop.

On the bright side, at least he can’t steal your online data. Only commit deliberate physical sabotage.

82. Behind a dumpster in an alley, an astronaut seeks a horse genie.

The genie grants the spaceman 3 wishes in exchange for a lifetime supply of hay and sugar cubes. Also it shits gold.

83. Someone’s in deep denial on their baldness.

Since he’s using a comb that he doesn’t need. Because he already shaves his head.

84. “All right, Eileen, let’s settle this with an umbrella fight on the roof.”

However, they’re attempting a showdown during a thunderstorm. Not the smartest thing to do, especially if lightning strikes one of them.

85. Here’s the new face of Wall Street Finance with an office at Suite 666.

Still, ladies, I’d stay away from that guy if I were you. Since his looks could kill while his demonic eyes show he’s up to no good.

86. “Jason, I didn’t know your dick was that huge!”

Please don’t tell me that guys look at each other’s dicks in the men’s room. Because I don’t know what to make of this photo.

87. You’d almost swear he takes after his father.

The resemblance is so uncanny. Maybe because they photoshopped the dad’s face to the son.

88. This takes getting canned to a whole new level.

Having to work in a trash can must really suck. But this guy’s taking it in stride.

89. Harry Potter and the Philosopher’s Malware.

Apparently, wizards can now use and repair computers. While Harry’s not hunting dark wizards, he’s working part-time as an IT guy at the Ministry of Magic.

90. When you have to return to work from a business summit at a nudist colony.

Yeah, that has to be embarrassing. And he only has a briefcase to cover his genitals. Too bad everyone else will see his butt.

91. “Come on, y’all! Let’s take the tennis court back from the jocks!”

With a tennis racket in one and an AR-15 in the other, Bridget leads the punk tennis revolution. It was a glorious moment for goths, punks, and emos everywhere.

92. At the office some men may deflate and lose their spines.

And here is a 100% accurate depiction of a Republican Congressman in Trump’s America. If you’re represented by one, it’s time to vote them out of office in November.

93. Ever have to be deep in thought against a toilet in the middle of the desert?

From Bored Panda: “This is the state of mind one enters at 3am after having crawled home from that awesome night out, spent the last half hour hugging the bowl, then suddenly you become the universe, the whole universe and everything in it.”

94. “Help! I’ve fallen and I can’t get up!”

Where’s Life Alert where you need it? Also, Grandma’s not coming to Christmas this year.

95. “Must sniff donut sugar..”

Seems like someone has a problem with white powder donuts. Someone better give her an intervention.

96. Old people enjoy their retirement with a gun over a rabbit that’s cared for life.

It’s only a matter of time until they get the gun back together and shoot the rabbit dead. So run, bunny, run! Or it’s kill the rabbit and rabbit stew.

97. The Lord taketh, the Lord poseth for selfie.

I can’t even list all the things wrong with this. Also, can I see a selfie of Jesus with his disciples at the Last Supper?

98. Now you can surf the net while riding the waves.

Still, I don’t think he’ll fare so well when he has to ride the big wave. But at least he’s sent his 3rd quarter expense reports.

99. “Just one more picture before we shut the trunk for our escape.”

Luckily for Marvin, his kidnappers were dumb enough to post a photo of a him in a trunk and brag about abducting him on social media. So police will find him and bring him home in no time.

100. When you’re baking cookies while trying to survive the fallout from the apocalypse.

Though the cookies might be a bit radioactive. But sometimes that’s a risk you must be willing to take in the bunker.

Goal Worthy Soccer Fans from the FIFA World Cup

WIN_20180615_10_04_57_Pro

Okay, I know the Men’s US Soccer Team won’t be in Russia since they didn’t qualify. But Women’s US Soccer Team will qualify for theirs since they win the World Cup in their tournament almost every time.

This week marked the beginning for the 21st FIFA World Cup hosted by Russia which had rights since 2010 that was way before all the collusion, cheating, and human rights abuses. Since my country the United States didn’t qualify, this isn’t a huge deal outside diehard American soccer fans. But since its founding in 1930, the World Cup has been the most prestigious soccer tournament in the world as well as the most widely viewed and followed sporting event in the world, even exceeding the Olympic Games. So it’s a very huge deal. And since it’s so widely watched around the world as soccer is one of the most popular sports, you’re granted to see plenty of crazy fans since a lot of countries take the sport very seriously like you have no idea. I mean have you ever heard of soccer hooligans? They exist. You also hear all kinds of crazy stories in soccer violence that make you scratch your head. And they thought American football fans were insane. Anyway, while most of my readers are American, there are plenty of viewers from other countries. So any post I do for the World Cup is mostly for them. Now for your reading pleasure, I give you an assortment of crazy soccer fans and their elaborate costumes worth blowing your vuvuzela over. Enjoy.

  1. Don’t worry, Russia’s soccer fans aren’t that crazy.

Well, this guy seems friendly though he might just like large grandiose hats. Hope the other fans are all right.

2. Look out, here comes the Swiss cow brigade.

They have plush cows on their hats. And they’re even wearing shirts for Team Switzerland. Odd since I thought they’re supposed to remain neutral.

3. You can tell this soccer fan is a proud Mexican.

Since he has the image from his national flag. But he’s also showing what his country will do to its rivals in the tournament. Cue the eagle killing a snake.

4. The Russians are up and ready to rumble.

They’re all wearing armor and headdress. Though I highly doubt that the war bonnet is part of their culture. Still, they look pretty awesome.

5. Sometimes you just have to send in the shamans.

This guy is from Ghana, by the way. And I think he might be doing a ritual from his culture though I doubt it. But you never know.

6. These Japanese fans are absolutely psyched for the World Cup.

Here they’re wearing pins of the World Cup trophy. Not sure why Japanese fans would wear these outfits.

7. Ladies, may I give you some delectable soccer fans from Greece.

As you can guess these nice-looking guys are dressed up as their country’s most famous dish. You know, Greek yogurt.

8. Bet you’ve never seen a Swedish woman like her.

Okay, that’s a guy. But he’s nonetheless wearing a horned helmet with braids.

9. It’s time for the Chinese fans to get the large drums out.

Well, they may not be as crazy as the others. But they seem like they’re performing a ritual with these large drums.

10. This Brazilian is all covered in flags.

You’ll see more Brazilian fans in this post. Since soccer is absolutely huge there. And yes, this costume is ridiculous.

11. Can’t cheer for the World Cup without Christ the Redeemer.

Well, the World Cup was held in Brazil that Year. Nonetheless, this guy has a rather interesting hat.

12. You’d almost think this American soccer fan is out of this world.

Too bad he won’t be in Russia. Since the US Men’s team didn’t make it. But he rocks in blue hair.

13. Here comes the Honduran Mayan king and his court.

They all have painted faces. Yet, the guy on the far left has a funky headdress.

14. Never thought I’d see a Colombian elephant before.

Okay, this isn’t the best fan costume I’ve seen. Yet, kind of has a combination of both pathetic and terrifying.

15. If you’re from Pakistan, get a load of this hat.

Yes, he’s wearing his country on his costume. Because he cares so much about his team to look this ridiculous.

16. A Dutchman always dreams of a World Cup win.

For some reason, there are a lot of crazy Dutch fans at international sporting events. And yes, he’s wearing large glasses, a pimp hat, and an orange Hulk hand.

17. In the Netherlands, it’s not over until the fat barmaid sings.

Sure she might seem straight out of Wagner if she wore a horned Viking helmet. But this Dutch lady goes for the orange.

18. The Japanese blue frog salutes the team.

Didn’t know what this guy’s significance is. Still, wouldn’t want to run into whoever they are.

19. Seems like Dutch Air brought in a whole flight crew.

Actually they’re just fans dressed as a flight crew so their team lands on a win. But compared with other outrageous Dutch costumes, this is low key.

20. Apparently, George S. Patton has decided to show up.

God only knows what Patton would say in a World Cup soccer match. Still, you can see where the look came from.

21. Apparently, the French fans decided to dress like Vikings.

I think they’re based on Asterix cartoons, which are reputedly popular there. But don’t ask me.

22. Irish World Cup fans always go for the green.

These guys paint themselves green and wear Irish flag wigs. And yes, they’re ready to rumble.

23. Want to see a couple of Argentinian zebras make out?

I don’t get the zebra thing since Argentina is in South America. But the guy seems a bit taken aback here.

24. This Ivory Coast fan can always make an impression.

You know he’s on stilts since no guy can be that tall. But he knows how to draw a large crowd.

25. Apparently, this Brazilian warlock has decided to take a picture.

Because giving children nightmares should get in the way of enjoying a soccer game. And yes, he’s wearing that outfit for Halloween.

26. These leprechauns are urging Team Ireland make it.

However, while these Irish may dress as leprechauns doesn’t mean Americans should do so. Because they find depictions of leprechauns outside their country very offensive.

27. Seems like this Brazilian has his beard really tied.

Not sure how this guy deals with the discomfort. Then again, he’s only wearing his beard for the tournament.

28. You can’t misidentify these all-American women.

I’ve heard the idea of wrapping oneself in an American flag. But painting akin to one just takes the cake for me.

29. Check out the glasses on this Danish guy.

Yes, he’s wearing soccer glasses. Because he has Danish soccer on his mind. Not sure if he’s eating a Danish.

30. This Dutch bear has high hopes for the World cup.

I’m sure he’s in an orange bear costume with the World Cup trophy. Not sure about the significance of that.

31. You might not want to mess with this masked Japanese fan.

Yes, that mask is creepy. Though I have to admit it goes well with the hat.

32. A Brazilian lady must have a big bow at the World Cup.

And yes, the bow is green with yellow polka dots. She even ahs 2014 glasses, too.

33. Wonder who’s in the Ghana box.

Apparently, a fan who’s just as mystified. Still, I wonder how that person got out of that after the tournament.

34. These Japanese fans are looking quite blue lately.

I mean their faces are painted blue and have blue hair to match. However, they seem quite excited seeing their team play.

35. This Swiss man always loves to blow his horn.

He’s brought his trumpet and funky hat. And yes, it has 2 bright Swiss balloons.

36. An Australian fan can’t go without an antler kangaroo?

Okay, that’s pretty weird. And I see the guy wearing a mask as if he doesn’t want an embarrassment.

37. Sometimes you just have to spread your wings.

There’s one guy from Colombia whose costume is so elaborate, people just have to pose with him. And no, I don’t think he can fly.

38. With these French fans, it’s all for one and one for all.

Since they’re dresses as the Three Musketeers. With feather hats from the 17th century and all.

39. These German women are hopping mad.

What’s the deal with the bunny ears? I don’t understand it since they seem quite ridiculous.

40. This Brazilian soccer fan debuts in his new flag suit.

He even has striped tights, big glasses, and a funky hat to match. Let’s give it for this guy.

41. Best you don’t get this German devil lady angry.

Fortunately for her, the German team won in Brazil in 2014. Yet, she has braids matching the flag colors.

42. A Brazilian woman can’t show up without a tall feather hat.

Well, Brazil is known for its colorful pageantry, especially in Rio. Yet, at least her headdress sparkles.

43. What the hell are those weird Dutch guys in Mohawks doing here?

Don’t ask me. I have no idea why they have these muscled guys here. Must be a Dutch thing.

44. An Aztec Emperor should always wear the most elaborate headdress.

If his team doesn’t do well in the World Cup, then he will have his priests rip the players’ hearts out. Nonetheless, he’s also a fan of tacos.

45. Looks like this Roman soldiers gung ho for Team Italy.

By the way, Italy didn’t make it in this year’s World Cup either. So you won’t see this Roman gladiator anytime soon in Russia.

46. You’ll get a big hand from this Australian.

Helps if he’s wearing a wide hat and a flag cape. But the large hand stands out.

47. You’d be pressed not to be endeared with these Icelandic Vikings.

Indeed, Vikings never wore horned helmets. But that doesn’t stop these guys from cheering and singing.

48. Best you beware of the dreaded Colombian Tiger.

Okay, he’s more like a carefree guy with a flamboyant headdress. Love the feathers.

49. Speaking of headdresses, the Italians get theirs on.

Sure I don’t think they have anyone in the culture wear these outlandish hats. But they’re nonetheless colorful.

50. You can tell these Germans are here for the soccer.

Since they’re wearing soccer ball suits. And I’m sure they’re both filled with a lot of air.

51. Mexico is really on a Chile pickle.

Okay, this fan is wearing a Mexico pickle hat. Still, it’s kind of hilarious no matter how you look at it.

52. Ladies and gentlemen, I give you Spanish Zorro.

He’s in one of those body suits with a hat and mask. But he’s all for his Spanish team.

53. This man wears a horned helmet for Team India.

Just when did the Vikings visit India? Because I never heard about that in the history books. Still, he carries the look with dignity.

54. These American guys show up to the World Cup in their star-spangled silk robes.

Well, Americans have always treasured their penchant for comfy clothes. But these guys seem to take this at a whole new level.

55. Perhaps the Dutchman would like to bang the drum.

Yes, I know he’ll probably offend Native Americans looking at this with his feather headdress war bonnet. But at least he’s not in his home country in early December.

56. A World Cup victory can always make anyone feel like a king.

Well, he’s German fan who’s probably overjoyed in Brazil. Still, got to like his royal red robes.

57. Captain America is a man on a mission.

Okay, he’s not the Captain America. But he nonetheless has the iconic shield along with the stars and stripes on his suit.

58. This South Korean likes a good cigar now and then.

Kind of reminds me of an anime character. And chances are, he probably is. Though he’s from South Korea.

59. Only the Dutch would wear wigs of orange foam.

Their funky wigs even have flags of the Netherlands on them. And yes, the Dutch seem to go all out.

60. Sometimes it’s best you don’t mess with Mexicans in elaborate headdresses.

Not sure if he’s Mayan or Aztec. But he won’t be happy if his team loses. Still, his headdress rocks.

61. Darth Vader seems to be on the Argentinian side of the Force.

Since he believes that winning the World Cup is Argentina’s destiny. Else, he’ll force choke them.

62. Didn’t know that Pope Francis was at the World Cup with his fellow Argentinians.

Okay, Pope Francis wasn’t there. It’s just a guy in a mask of him. But I’m sure he’d like the tribute since he’s an avid soccer fan.

63. This Italian warrior is ready for the soccer challenge.

And he’s clad in blue armor to show it. Hope he’s lucky that he’s not the attraction in the gladiatorial games.

64. You don’t know nothing about the elusive Mask.

However, he’s here for Team Brazil. Nonetheless, this is a fitting costume in regards to the color scheme on the Brazilian flag.

65. She’s got two sombreros and not much to cover.

And you can see them conveniently placed over her boobs. Oh, and she has fringes, too.

66. At the World Cup, you can’t beat the zeal of the Orange General.

He’s a Dutch superfan. And yes, he’s clad in orange, a terrible color to wear in combat.

67. Heard of cheeseheads? Well, here are the Swiss cheeseheads.

You can see they got this idea from Green Bay Wisconsin. And they gave the notion a unique touch for the World Cup.

68. I give you Watermelon Man.

Here he is posing for a selfie. Has a quite pleasant face if you ask me.

69. Apparently, Russian fans like seeing their players ride dragons.

One has a hydra. The other has a red dragon. But both look quite formidable and whimsical.

70. This American fan is so badass, he even has his own dinosaur hand.

I’m sure Hollywood is working on a movie based on him as we speak. Because he certainly has the action movie look to him.

71. Without the orange you’d think these two came from Las Vegas.

Well, the Dutch never disappoint with their outrageous fans. Though I like the feather headdress.

72. Even hombres can rock in sombreros and Mexican dresses.

You have to admit these dresses are very colorful. And that these men rock in them.

73. Who’s supposed to be the creepy head among the Argentinians?

Maybe it’s one of the players. But it’s the stuff of nightmares nonetheless.

74. This Colombian fan knows how to impress.

This was all the way from 1990. And he’s dressed like a bird carrying 2 flags.

75. Seems like this lady likes to dress in the Union Jack.

She’s there to support her English soccer team. Also, this is from 1970, by the way.

76. These women from Uruguay have some unique choices in headwear.

It’s to imitate the sun emblazoned on their flag. And yes, they certainly stun.

77. Behold, the majestic feathered eagle warrior.

This fan has his arms outstretched in feathered wings. Like the Aztec warriors of pre-Columbian history.

78. Check out that horned creature all the way from Ecuador.

Sure this guy has his arms outstretched. Yet, you can’t help but keep your eyes on him and his strange head.

79. Apparently, Bert and Ernie are rooting for Team Germany.

Though Bert and Ernie are actually American characters from Sesame Street. Guess they have an international following.

80. Might want to watch out for those clowns from Ecuador.

One of them is the Joker from the Dark Knight. You know what destruction he’s capable of. Why so serious?

81. You can’t see anything more regal than these English lions.

Well, the lion has a special place in English iconography. Though they have crosses on their faces to show.

82. Seems like these Italian pilots have landed.

Each is dressed in a flag color. And they’re wearing old timey pilot hats to match.

83. The Eggman always knows how to make an entrance.

He’s a South African superfan with a huge headdress decked with eggs. Wonder how he manages to keep it on his head.

84. It’s not just humans who get swept up in World Cup excitement.

This basset hound is dressed in Brazil’s colors and wears a fro. And it seems quite attentive to the game in the stands.

85. You don’t want to see this Mexican when he’s angry.

But the Hulk certainly knows how to don a red sombrero. But please, don’t make him mad.

86. This Dutchman comes with his own veggies.

He’s even wearing a hat with carrots and a radish. So he won’t go hungry.

87. A Portuguese superhero must know how to rock a scarf and mustache.

Well, a superhero has to stand tall even at a soccer game. And yes, he has Portuguese flag insignia where the Superman logo would be.

88. Mexican Superman would never miss a soccer match for his country.

But keep in mind his main nemesis is Donald Trump. Because the guy’s a full-blown narcissistic sociopath and white supremacist.

89. Looks like one Mexican came to the World Cup on a donkey.

Don’t worry the donkey is part of the costume. Yet, you wonder how many seats he’ll take up in the stands.

90. During American games, you can never have too many Elvis impersonators.

Indeed, Elvis Presley is an American treasure. That’s why you have these fans in sequins to watch a US soccer match.

91. These English knights are up and ready for battle at the World Cup.

A few of them even have their faces painted. Still, wouldn’t want to wear all that mail in June.

92. These fans from South Africa know how to support their team.

Yes, South African fans can dress in crazy costumes, too. Though the one in the large glasses takes the cake.

93. It’s during the World Cup when some Ecuadorian fans don elaborate masks.

Not sure about the cultural significance of these outfits. Must be a Pre-Columbian thing.

94. You’d almost think these Americans have heads full of corn.

Well, our country grows and consumes a lot of it. So it’s only fair if you ask me.

95. Wonder what’s with the pot on his head.

As you can see, this guy is from Ghana. But his pot seems like it’s filling with smoke.

96. Man, this Brazilian has large, uh, soccer balls.

Yeah, I know what some of you are thinking. Still, Brazil is a big place for soccer as it’s always been.

97. All Mexicans at the World Cup, hail your Emperor Montezuma.

Well, he certainly has the outfit nailed. Still, best not to make him mad or he’ll give you a nice drink of water.

98. This American woman always wraps herself in a flag.

She even has a sign for Hope Solo. Though she’s not exactly America’s sweetheart if you ask me.

99. My fellow Americans, say hello to President Theodore Goalsevelt.

He’s a superfan who’s dressed like Theodore Roosevelt. But he’s more into soccer than big game hunting.

100. A big head of hair always requires a large comb.

And you can see that with this Brazilian fan who seems like a used car salesman from Las Vegas. Still, like his large glasses.

Celebrate the Stars and Stripes Forever with These Star Spangled 4th of July Craft Projects (Third Edition)

4th-of-july-outdoor-home

Now we’re on to crafts. You might see with my opening pictures that the 4th of July is often celebrated outdoors with picnics, barbecues, and fireworks. After all, it takes place during the summer. And in some places of America, you’re bound to find towns holding parades and cities staging events like regattas if they’re near a body of water. So it’s only a given you’d see stores across the US brimming with American flag decorations in red, white, and blue galore. Yet, some people might prefer some DIY stuff they can make their own. So for your reading pleasure, I give you another assortment of ingenious and fanfare worthy crafts for the 4th of July.

  1. A few flags in your flower patch makes a great centerpiece.

Yet, I’m not sure if the flowers are real or fake. But they go well with the stripes.

2. Don’t want to ruin an American flag? Use a wooden panel instead.

Sure it may not have all the stars and stripes. But our flag is very complicated to replicate.

3. Plant your flowers in these patriotic pots.

Each one has a unique design in red, white, and blue. So feel free to plant your all-American zinnias.

4. Got some cardboard toilet paper and paper towel rolls? Make fireworks out of them.

Make sure they’re all in patriotic red, white, and blue patterns. Also, that they have tops to make them look bursting.

5. Show your love for American with this folksy hanging.

This one has the American flag in the shape of a heart. Ideal for rustic settings.

6. Make your front door star-spangled with this red, white, and blue bauble wreath.

Seems like they have these for every occasion. But this one sure is shiny.

7. Curl up on cool summer nights with this American flag quilt.

Yes, it’s all crumpled up on a couch. But you can see some of the flags and stars on the patchwork.

8. Don your hair with these watermelon clips.

As you see, they’re in red, white, and blue instead of green, pink, and black. Because it’s for a patriotic occasion.

9. This dresser is in the spirit of 1776.

Since it depicts the Betsy Ross flag. Though Betsy Ross didn’t design it since that story was made up by her grandchildren.

10. Red, white, and blue baubles can make any home festive.

These baubles are in glass jars for a display. And yes, they’re quite star-spangled.

11. There’s nothing patriotic on 4th of July like wearing a red, white, and blue tie-dye shirt.

Sure it’s not in a stars or stripes pattern. But it’s quite groovy nonetheless.

12. Show the spirit of 1776 with this American flag tutu.

Of course, this is for a young girl. But it made out of red, white, and blue tulle and ribbons.

13. Grace your front door this 4th of July with this decomesh wreath.

This one has an American flag star and ribbons. So stunning for any door.

14. Feel free to show your love for God and country.

Yes, it’s quite rustic. But at least this one seems to have 50 stars as dots.

15. Dress up your baby this Independence Day in this patriotic onesie.

Yes, the blue in this is a handprint. But it’s quite adorable, don’t you think?

16. Any little all-American girl would love this flag skirt.

Yes, this is from the back with a red bow. But what little girl in the US wouldn’t want this?

17. Rest your head on this American flag pillow.

This one consists of interesting stripes if you ask me. But it makes a great decoration.

18. Nobody can resist these star-spangled centerpieces.

Each of these boxes holds a bouquet of white and blue flowers. And they’re all on red stars.

19. Got empty shotgun shells? Make an American flag out of them.

Perfect if you’re an NRA member and don’t want to give up your AR-15s so kids can go to school without getting shot. But that’s just me.

20. This patriotic cone is filled with all-American goodness.

Consists of a teddy bear and fireworks on the top. Great for any quality all-American home.

21. Kick back and relax in these 4th of July lawn chairs.

These consist of images depicting the Statue of Liberty, fireworks, and a flag. And all in red, white, and blue.

22. For a more festive fanfare, try this American flag rag wreath.

Yes, it kind of looks messy. But it’s rather fit for any homespun American home.

23. Tell time from anywhere in the US with this large American flag clock.

Indeed, this wooden clock is quite huge if you ask me. But you have to admire the craftsmanship. Though you might not want to buy it.

24. A patriotic flower basket should always include a few pinwheels.

As long as they are in American flag patterns, of course. Still, love the red and white flowers.

25. Perhaps an American flag yarn wreath might suit you.

This one has red and white stripes along a blue portion with stars. Perfect for any patriotic front door.

26. Don’t like wreaths? How about a red star in frame?

The frame is laced with American flag patterned ribbon. And yes, it seems easy to make.

27. Let the flag shine bright with these star-spangled jars.

Just put these flags on the jars, use candles, and you’re done. And yes, they do shine quite bright.

28. This American flag panel lets the eagle soar.

Okay, this panel is quite artistically brilliant. Bet it fetches a high price on Etsy.

29. Let freedom shine with this rustic American lantern.

I know it doesn’t have a light inside. But its American flag decor make it worthwhile to put on this post.

30. Perhaps you might prefer a flowery American wreath.

This one consists of red, white, and blue flowers. Includes a red star and ribbons.

31. Got an old window pane? Make an American flag out of it.

Okay, this one uses about 2 panels instead of 6. Yet, you have to admire it in any room.

32. Celebrate the nation with this wooden panel.

Depicts the United States in the American flag. And on a finely varnish wooden board, too.

33. Some may prefer celebrating America in all caps.

Well, bottle caps anyway. Because many of the Stanley Cup winning Washington Capitals are Canadian.

34. Grace your 4th of July table with this flowery wreath.

Yes, some of the flowers may not seem blue. But the wreath appears to make a fine centerpiece.

35. Show your love for America with this wooden patriotic stand.

This one has wooden blocks depicting American sentiments. And each in red, white, or blue.

36. This star-spangled banner is a real patchwork.

This one consists of red, white, and blue squares in different patterns. But it resembles the American flag nonetheless.

37. Make sure you have your stars in a row.