The World According to Stock Photography

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While much of my blog has been filled with posts teeming with outrage over what my country has become since President Pussy-Grabber was sworn in to encouraging ICE to separate families at the border and putting children in cages, tent cities, and concentration camps, we should try to maintain our sanity with some fun now and then. No matter how hard it might seem to be. Nonetheless, like Lord Hamsterhair Cheetohead lately, stock photography is everywhere since it consists of photographs that can be licensed for public or commercial use. Whether used in marketing, advertising, or design as long as it’s not illegal or harmful, many graphic designers, web designers, and other professionals frequently take advantage of stock images to fill their design needs. Anyway, most often you’ll find stock photos on professional websites and greeting cards. In fact, it’s a whole industry which started in the 1920s as a way for professional photographers to market outtakes from commercial photo shoots. But many pro photographers today take photos exclusively for stock purposes since a large portfolio can earn a considerable amount of money each month from selling their images through a photography website. Even if the photographer doesn’t add new photos on a regular basis. Still, they have a reputation for being notoriously cheesy and generic with bland happy faces in their diverse workplaces of harmony and in their seemingly perfect but bland families. But there are some stock photos that are too ridiculous to explain or don’t seem to have any applicable purpose whatsoever. So for your reading pleasure, I give you an assortment of crazy stock photos. By the way, some of these might not be safe for work.

  1. “Do you know how to work this thing?”

I’m sure these guys have no idea to function as a news crew. Or they’re just goofing off.

2. Anyone can be a princess.

However, this guy seems to be really pushing the envelope. Still, he rocks the red sash.

3. So what do they call if you cross a dog and a frog?

Yes, I know it’s photoshopped. But you have to wonder about the mad scientist who’d create this freak of nature.

4. It’s been said his brains are made of noodles.

Granted, I love pasta and noodles. But this isn’t the kind candlelight dinner I’d want to participate in.

5. Not all snails travel at a snail’s pace.

This one practically gallops. Oh, wait, why does this one have legs?

6. Apparently, The Shape of Water didn’t get a stellar reception on a small budget.

This is why using CGI is important. Because simply kissing a fish is just ridiculous.

7. There are centaurs and there are these.

Somehow a horse head with a human lower body doesn’t look so good. And I think the centaur would agree with me.

8. Some chick just got puffed.

Guess someone decided to get a large blue fro. The other can’t help but stare.

9. Apparently, Swamp Thing decided to leave the swamp and get a regular job.

Though he’s got a tendency to track in leaves now and then. Here you see him fetching a file.

10. When you’ve been in a car wreck but the boss insists you show up for work on Monday.

Yeah, you can’t really do your office job after you’ve been injured in a number of places. But I guess his workplace doesn’t have paid sick leave.

11. When you’re robbing the place and want to show some color.

From Outbound: “A jaunty cravat makes any robbery a special occasion.” And here he’s stealing a hard drive.

12. Bertha always saw herself as a queen.

She’s even wearing a pink dress and a tiara. But she thinks she looks fabulous.

13. This astronaut has a flight to catch in space.

I see he’s got his luggage with him since he can’t do his laundry at the ISS. Still, why is he wearing a space suit?

14. It’s nice that Jerry has decided to make dinner tonight.

Heard his secret sauce is from an old family recipe. It’s said to include a tablespoon of arsenic, a teaspoon of strychnine, and just a pinch of cyanide.

15. This dog breed is known as a Jacques Rousseau Terriere.

He’s easy to distinguish from the Jack Russell with his curly mustache, his taste in French bread and wine, and his penchant for berets, paintings, and arthouse films. And he doesn’t care for pretentious cheap dog food either.

16. Apparently, the mime has just managed to escape from the jaws of death.

And by “jaws” I mean large chomping mouth of teeth you’d find at a dentist’s office. Doesn’t seem thrilling does it?

17. Seems like this chimp is quite the chatterbox.

“And then I told him, ‘Dude, chill down. It’s not worth flinging your poo over.'”

18. Didn’t know you could play frisbee with your pet turtle.

Apparently, they’re really great at playing fetch for some reason. Don’t really see why since they move like, well, turtles.

19. Wonder how many pictures did they take of him?

Even this kid is baffled. And he sat for the other pictures.

20. Her face is a little cracked.

Let’s hope that her delicate eggshell face cracks don’t lead anything to spill over. Because that would really make a mess.

21. Wearing a watermelon helmet changes everything.

This is especially when you’re wearing goggles and stick your tongue out. Wonder if he’s high on life.

22. And now, a stop-motion version of Romeo and Juliet by director Wes Anderson.

Yes, it consists of two people wearing animal masks and dressed in hipster clothing. Don’t think this will go well for Wes. Unless he casts Owen Wilson as Friar Lawrence.

23. With romantic dinners, there are just some foods you shouldn’t make out with.

Sharing a kiss during a romantic dinner a la Lady and the Tramp is romantic. Sharing a kiss during a chicken dinner is just plain disgusting.

24. Crazy Larry will clean your car and keep it nice and polished.

But don’t you leave anything in it. Or else he’ll take it and pawn it off for some extra cash to support his meth habit. He’s also had an infamous reputation with the ladies and a record of sexual misconduct.

25. During desert nights, beware of the fierce and dreaded cattysnake.

Known to hang around pumpkin patches for some reason. But while they may be cuddly, their bites are deadly.

26. “Take that, you pathetic puppy!”

I kind of feel bad for the dog here. I mean how is anyone going to take him seriously after getting the crap beat out of him by a guy in a banana costume?

27. When your baking has caused your stove to burst into flames but you don’t have a care in the world.

The smoke detector is on the fritz like crazy. But instead of getting the fire extinguisher or calling the fire department, he’s watching the stove burn with a glass of wine.

28. Want to eat a slice of bread with nails?

Of course, you want to eat that. Because you’d find swallowing all those nails as painful as hell.

29. You’re never too old to have fun.

Since when do they have rocking horses in adult size? And since when do old men enjoy going on horsey rides?

30. When you just have to get that last selfie while your friend is about to be burned for a human sacrifice.

“I know you’ll be burned to death, Kyle. But for now, let’s remember the good times before I get the hell out of here.”

31. “Greg, I don’t think you get the meaning of ‘Casual Friday.'”

I mean he’s showed up with messy hair and no shirt. And I’m not sure if he’s even wearing pants or shoes.

32. “Ahhh, grass!”

Yes, she enjoys lying in the grass. Then again, she could be murdered in the middle of nowhere.

33. “Wanna see my pineapple dance?”

Funny, how that one pineapple is conveniently placed in her crotch region. Not to mention, she’s wearing a winter hat.

34. When you’re in a tender embrace with your significant other but are considering other options.

Indeed, they’re hugging each other while checking their phones. Guess that’s modern dating nowadays.

35. “Help! I’m trapped in a jar with exclamation points!”

And I guess she’s trying to figure her way out of there. Though she might be running out of ideas.

36. “Answer the question or I’ll shoot!”

Not exactly the best way to deal with the big questions. Shoot first never works well.

37. “It’s a bird, it’s a plane, it’s Business Man!”

Flying in the air faster than a speeding printer and more powerful than a server filled with memoranda. Flying through the sea of finance and willing to save the day from a calamitous paper jam.

38. Presented The Bachelor: Equine Edition.

Watch a bunch of mares compete for the heart of this dashing stallion at this lavish stable. Or as it’s better known: Study Duty.

39. Since she was a little girl, this demonic goblin had a dream to dance.

Here she does her Black Swan dance for the Transylvania Ballet Theater. Graceful isn’t she? Wonder if she’d do well with Gollum.

40. Ever heard of Wendy of Wendy’s? Turns out she has a brother named Wendell.

He’s a certified public accountant at some firm in Cedar Rapids. They don’t talk about him much.

41. “If we should go down, we’ll die together.”

For God’s sake, the two have guns pointed at each other? You can guess they’re going to blow each other’s brains out eventually.

42. A well-dressed mouse should always stand for a portrait.

Though why she has human hands, I have no idea. Though she strikes a regal pose.

43. If you can’t get Bill Nye the Science Guy, here’s Lab Guy Larry.

He’s kind of a poor man’s Bill Nye. Except way more careless and prone to bites from skeletons.

44. This nun seeks prayer and meditation under the sea.

Don’t know how she can be underwater without scuba gear. Not to mention, look serene in that heavy habit.

45. This pampered pooch always has to shop till she drops.

Carrie Pawpaws just has to have those designer dog collars. Not to mention, those fine rawhide bones and squeaky toys.

46. After a career terrorizing Gotham City, the Joker decided to work for Wayne Enterprises as an accountant.

Now whenever he wants to terrorize Gotham, he just embezzles money and commits insider trading. Because white-collar criminals seldom get punished.

47. Open wide for this puffer fish.

Uh, those fish are actually poisonous. So trying to eat one like that is a very easy way to die. But this woman doesn’t get the memo.

48. This boxer has become the reigning champion of his sister’s bedroom.

Or he might just have a girly taste in decorating. You never know. But he doesn’t seem bothered by it either way.

49. Some days you just need to relax with some Post-It Notes.

Notice she has nothing written on them. But she doesn’t give a damn since she’s in her happy place.

50. When you find out that your longtime crush is in a relationship on social media.

Indeed, she feels dead inside. But she can’t really look away. I know she’s getting carried away. Yet, get her time.

51. “Thank God, I saved the crucial paperwork!”

Still, when you’re out in the water, saving the paperwork is the least of your worries. For God’s sake, you’re better off trying to find dry land.

52. “Now, class, when I ring the bell, settle down and I’ll give you candy.”

Not sure if employing Pavlov’s techniques will help. This especially goes if they’re in high school.

53. “Sit down, class, let’s get busy on those physics problems.”

If I had a teacher like that in school, I’d suspect I was in a porno. And that one of my classmates was about to fall victim to statutory rape. Then again, it’s best not to judge by appearances. But come on, would any school let a teacher dress like that?

54. “Sit down, kids, it’s time to learn.”

I guess you won’t have a good time in this guy’s class. Behave or he’ll introduce you to his friend, Mr. Longstick.

55. In the future, people will spend hours marveling and contemplating on corn.

Now I know where that family got their idea for their crazy futuristic corn people Christmas card. Didn’t know it was from a stock photo that made no sense.

56. “All right, don’t move! This is a raid!”

Man, armed robbers and murderers really do start young these days. Also, don’t mind the hand above. My guess is that person is dead.

57. You’ll always have a good time in a string quartet.

Yeah, I don’t think it’s like Sex and the City with stringed instruments and old timey costumes. Yeah, I know it’s really crazy.

58. When it rains, she barely touches the chair.

This stock photo was brought to you by the power and imagination that comes with brown acid. Because someone must’ve been tripping balls to come up with this photo idea.

59. “Paint me like one of your French girls.”

Maybe he should take off his clothes first. Then again, it would still be kind of silly. Except if he had rock hard abs. But I can’t imagine that.

60. For some reason those trapped in jars will either panic or try to get out.

The businessman is especially panicky. The construction worker’s just scaling the walls.

61. I’m positive she’s going out with a bang.

Because that’s what happens when you light a dynamite stick with a cigarette. It’s sure to be explosive.

62. “Oh, shit, I’ve burned the chicken!”

Yet, she’s not wearing oven mitts. While smoke is coming out of the oven.

63. Walk on the moon? That’s so 1969.

So this astronaut has decided to bike on the moon. Not sure if the tires will retain air in the vacuum of space.

64. This Christmas Santa is ditching his sleigh and reindeer for a magic jet.

Because he needs a more efficient way to deliver all those presents on one night. Unfortunately, Rudolph and the other reindeer may not see it that way.

65. Is there a fire? Call the fire lizard.

Well, maybe if the fire is confined to a small tree. Comes complete with his red hat and fire extinguisher.

66. Don’t have a defibrillator? A pair of irons will do.

Still, he seems very excited to use them on his patient. Kind has crazy eyes and a weird smile. This doesn’t look good.

67. Introducing Captain Waggles of the U.S.S. Doggypaddle.

Here he is with a lifejacket and fingers up. Wait a minute, dogs don’t have fingers.

68. It’s said those who live in glass houses shouldn’t throw stones.

And that people who work in glass offices with glass dividers shouldn’t have sex on the job. Let’s hope neither are married with families.

69. When you’re a TV, it’s always dinner for one.

And I see she’s looking at a TV screen. Kind of twisted if you ask me.

70. Didn’t know that farts can leave a cloud of gas.

And it’s drifting to the flowers. Well, at least we aren’t around when the cheese was cut.

71. “Hello, darkness, my old friend….”

Yet, he lies in his bed on a sheet cake which will get his face covered in icing. But he’s laying awake in existential dread and loneliness.

72. When you’re in the buff and you need to feed your cat.

Notice how the fridge door is conveniently placed over him. Just so he can give his cat some meat.

73. “Okay, let’s put our helmets together.”

Yet, they’re clad in high heels and dresses. Not exactly what you’d wear on a motorcycle.

74. Chipmunks like to get it on at the copier.

Don’t know about you. But I’ve got a feeling those at the office will be seeing some chipmunk porn sometime in the near future.

75. Today’s Special: Head.

And she’s in a styrofoam tray covered in plastic wrap. Just like meat at the grocery store.

76. Seems like her lower body isn’t attached to the rest of her.

Yet, she seems to awe at that after the magician sawed her in half. Unfortunately, he couldn’t put her back together.

77. “Excuse me, you dirty whore, but that’s my boyfriend you’re fucking.”

The guy’s like, “Honey, you’re early. Nancy and I were just having a discussion on….adoptions.”

78. Sometimes you can type what you want from the screen.

And the cat’s just staring dumbfounded at the screen. Like it must’ve accidentally drank a milk dish with acid.

79. “Wanna share a cold one with me on the road?”

This guy’s getting so busted if police pull him over. Because drunk driving is dangerous and has killed people.

80. If you want to keep your kids safe on the internet.

My mistake. If you see your kid in night-vision goggles and a tinfoil hat, you best send your kid to a therapist. Otherwise, he might grow up into a full-blown conspiracy theorist like Alex Jones.

81. This guy really wants to see what’s in this laptop.

On the bright side, at least he can’t steal your online data. Only commit deliberate physical sabotage.

82. Behind a dumpster in an alley, an astronaut seeks a horse genie.

The genie grants the spaceman 3 wishes in exchange for a lifetime supply of hay and sugar cubes. Also it shits gold.

83. Someone’s in deep denial on their baldness.

Since he’s using a comb that he doesn’t need. Because he already shaves his head.

84. “All right, Eileen, let’s settle this with an umbrella fight on the roof.”

However, they’re attempting a showdown during a thunderstorm. Not the smartest thing to do, especially if lightning strikes one of them.

85. Here’s the new face of Wall Street Finance with an office at Suite 666.

Still, ladies, I’d stay away from that guy if I were you. Since his looks could kill while his demonic eyes show he’s up to no good.

86. “Jason, I didn’t know your dick was that huge!”

Please don’t tell me that guys look at each other’s dicks in the men’s room. Because I don’t know what to make of this photo.

87. You’d almost swear he takes after his father.

The resemblance is so uncanny. Maybe because they photoshopped the dad’s face to the son.

88. This takes getting canned to a whole new level.

Having to work in a trash can must really suck. But this guy’s taking it in stride.

89. Harry Potter and the Philosopher’s Malware.

Apparently, wizards can now use and repair computers. While Harry’s not hunting dark wizards, he’s working part-time as an IT guy at the Ministry of Magic.

90. When you have to return to work from a business summit at a nudist colony.

Yeah, that has to be embarrassing. And he only has a briefcase to cover his genitals. Too bad everyone else will see his butt.

91. “Come on, y’all! Let’s take the tennis court back from the jocks!”

With a tennis racket in one and an AR-15 in the other, Bridget leads the punk tennis revolution. It was a glorious moment for goths, punks, and emos everywhere.

92. At the office some men may deflate and lose their spines.

And here is a 100% accurate depiction of a Republican Congressman in Trump’s America. If you’re represented by one, it’s time to vote them out of office in November.

93. Ever have to be deep in thought against a toilet in the middle of the desert?

From Bored Panda: “This is the state of mind one enters at 3am after having crawled home from that awesome night out, spent the last half hour hugging the bowl, then suddenly you become the universe, the whole universe and everything in it.”

94. “Help! I’ve fallen and I can’t get up!”

Where’s Life Alert where you need it? Also, Grandma’s not coming to Christmas this year.

95. “Must sniff donut sugar..”

Seems like someone has a problem with white powder donuts. Someone better give her an intervention.

96. Old people enjoy their retirement with a gun over a rabbit that’s cared for life.

It’s only a matter of time until they get the gun back together and shoot the rabbit dead. So run, bunny, run! Or it’s kill the rabbit and rabbit stew.

97. The Lord taketh, the Lord poseth for selfie.

I can’t even list all the things wrong with this. Also, can I see a selfie of Jesus with his disciples at the Last Supper?

98. Now you can surf the net while riding the waves.

Still, I don’t think he’ll fare so well when he has to ride the big wave. But at least he’s sent his 3rd quarter expense reports.

99. “Just one more picture before we shut the trunk for our escape.”

Luckily for Marvin, his kidnappers were dumb enough to post a photo of a him in a trunk and brag about abducting him on social media. So police will find him and bring him home in no time.

100. When you’re baking cookies while trying to survive the fallout from the apocalypse.

Though the cookies might be a bit radioactive. But sometimes that’s a risk you must be willing to take in the bunker.

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The Inside World of Furniture

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Whether you need to sit, eat, put stuff away, set stuff down, work, sleep, or go to Narnia, then furniture is absolutely essential for your day to day living. After all, without furniture, we’d just carry on our daily lives in empty rooms with only the floor to conduct our activities on, which is neither comfortable or practical. Even our Neolithic cave dwelling ancestors couldn’t live without furniture 30,000 years ago and they survived without agriculture. Sure the earliest furniture pieces were made from wood, bone, and stone, and no Stone Age pieces exist. But they did depict figures in chairs, according to archaeological evidence. The Neolithic village of Skara Brae in Scotland’s Orkney Islands contains some of the oldest surviving furniture with each house equipped with stone cupboards, beds, dressers, shelves, seats, and even limpet tanks. If they had stone electronics, appliances, and foot motion cars, you’d almost think these people lived like the Flintstones. More complex techniques such as joinery first appear in the early dynastic period of Ancient Egypt with mostly wooden pieces, some decorated precious metals and ivory. Ancient Greece and Rome followed suit with the klinai, a multipurpose couch you can eat, relax, and sleep in. Go into a furniture store today and you’ll find all kinds of styles and in many materials. Home furniture usually consists of wood and upholstery (save for beds which can be wood or metal). Office furniture is normally composed of metal and plastic. Then there’s IKEA furniture which can be made from anything though you’d have to put it together yourself. Still, as with anything else, you’ll find some odd pieces here and there which is where I come in. So for your reading pleasure, I give you an assortment of unique furniture you wouldn’t find in a store, including IKEA. Enjoy.

  1. How about a chair that branches out?

Sure it looks as if it was cut off straight from a tree with its bark shaved off. But come on, do you think it was really made that way?

2. May you have a seat in this little teacup.

It’s a teacup chair you can sit in. The handle is on top. Wonder if you can lift it like that. Maybe if you’re a giant.

3. You might have a swinging good time if you sat at this table during a meeting.

Yes, it sure looks fun since the chairs are all swings. And the swings are in all different colors.

4. A strung up bed doesn’t touch the floor.

However, don’t weigh it down much that the ropes snap. Though the look quite delicate to me in this picture.

5. Now your little girl can have her own loft bed and playhouse.

Resembles a quaint little cottage. Has a bed on top and some cushions on the bottom.

6. This china cabinet appears slightly askew.

Well, it certainly has a strong personality. Though it was carved slightly lopsided like that.

7. This couch comes with some extra padding.

Just rest your back on the cushions on this one. Maybe that’s a little high for a couch.

8. A hotdog couch is perfect for any indoor barbecue.

Comprises of a bun couch with a hotdog cushion along with tomato and cucumber slice pillows. Great tasty fun if you want to kick back and relax.

9. Finally a mattress specifically made for any sleeper’s needs.

Okay, maybe not since it’s in the form of a side sleeper. But you’d have to admire the creativity on this.

10. No living room is complete without an overhead bookcase.

Includes a ladder you can use to find books and lights to read them. You can even put houseplants on top.

11. Check out this flowery chair.

Kind of resembles a morning glory. Wonder what sitting on it feels like.

12. Seems like someone had an accident on this table.

Actually, that spill is made from wood attached to it. But yes, it certainly seems like a mess.

13. How about you kick back and relax in this burger chair?

Includes a bun frame, a burger cushion, and pickle and tomato slice pillows. Goes with the hotdog couch.

14. Perhaps you can make your own bathroom shelf.

This is hung from a towel rack with shower hooks. Yet, holds what you need.

15. For young recruits, boot camp starts at an early age.

If your son likes Vietnam War movies, this is the bed for him. Even has a ladder, porch, and slide.

16. Not sure whether to call this flowery or geometric.

Sure it has a flowery shape on the top. But its stand is a silver ring.

17. Try solving this Rubik’s Cube.

Actually you can’t since the jumbled blocks have drawers. But you can put your clothes in it.

18. You’d think this chair was all folded.

Well, at least the fabric is. Not sure how you can sit on this one.

19. A cabinet like this can make a rather interesting conversation piece.

Yes, it doesn’t look very practical. Unless you live on Middle Earth. Though it’s quite interesting to see that I couldn’t ignore it.

20. You might find your inner piece in this chair.

Yes, it’s in an Indian style. And yes, it has human legs and hands. Not sure what the hand signs stand for.

21. Someone must’ve recycled some very large guitar to make this table.

Actually that’s not the case. But if you have a rocking living room, it’s a must have.

22. How about a cassette coffee table in your living room?

For my younger viewers, before we had CDs and MP3 players, we used to listen to music on these things. Ask anyone who grew up during the 1980s and 1990s.

23. You’d almost think this table was made from work shop scraps.

And in a way it seems to be. But it does make a wonderful art piece, doesn’t it? Also got a lot of legs.

24. There’s nothing more cozy than a nest bed.

Basically consists of a bird’s nest frame with pillows resembling eggs. Makes you want to go straight to sleep.

25. In this bed, your little one can now sleep in a box.

Even has some openings to get in and out as well as a couple of windows. Also has wallpaper inside.

26. A large hollow tree trunk should make adequate chair arms.

Okay, they’re kind of assembled. But they certainly seem fit for a rustic cabin or lodge.

27. You’ll find this couch a bit up a wall, so to speak.

Yes, it’s a couch. Sure it you may not be able to sit on one of its sides. But it’s a couch.

28. I now introduce you to the ultimate book lover’s chair.

It’s practically surrounded by books on the edges. So you can spend hours reading Harry Potter.

29. If you love bacon, then you can’t resist having this for a breakfast table.

Not sure why they have to have bacon stuff. But at least it doesn’t smell like it. I hope.

30. You can easily roll up this chair any time.

Yes, it resembles Dr. Seuss patio furniture. But it’ll certainly look great anywhere.

31. You’d almost be on hand and foot in this chair.

It’s a wooden chair with a hand seat and a foot stand. Great for Halloween. Too creepy for anything else.

32. You’ll have books all around on this chair.

At least it has all your books where you want them. It’s a book lover’s dream.

33. You’d almost think this table was dripping.

You’d almost think it was made from paint. But that’s actually plastic.

34. Any kid would certainly monkey around in this jungle bunk bed.

Includes a house, a ladder, and trees. Bet the little monkey goes on the top.

35. You can always hang around in a hammock on the porch.

You can even have all your friends on this hammock couch if you want to. But hope the ropes don’t snap.

36. Any evil overlord would die for this wicked chair.

Yes, it’s certainly a throne a villain would love. Still, got to like the spikes.

37. You can always cuddle up in a baked potato bean bag chair.

It’s even filled with sour cream and chives. The butter pillow is great.

38. This playhouse bed is a little girl’s dream.

Sure it’s another playhouse bed. But it’s in vibrant colors as well as has shutters and stairs.

39. This armchair is all wiry.

I don’t think this chair is made for sitting. Looks too delicate and uncomfortable.

40. You’d almost think this chair sprouted from the ground.

It’s supposed to look that way. But come on, no tree grows like that.

41. This chair is all legs.

I know what you’re thinking. And yes, it’s sick. The high heels really don’t help.

42. In this bed you can wake up in the trees.

Makes you feel like you’re in an enchanted forest. Even if it’s just your bedroom. But at least you’ll run no risk of contracting Lyme Disease.

43. For patio furniture, may I recommend a grassy couch?

Though you might not want to sit on it in the morning. Or after it rains. Or at night. Or after mowing the lawn.

44. Hope this couch can give you a hand.

Okay, the couch consists of large hand cushions. Yes, it’s creepy and the color is atrocious. But it’s unique so it goes on the post.

45. A scorpion chair will always impress.

I’m sure this is a perfect armchair for a supervillain. Looks really sinister.

46. A car front table is stylish for any retro living room.

There’s a line of furniture made out of car parts. This uses the front of a Rolls Royce.

47. Bet you’ve never seen this rocking chair.

It’s a rocking chair wheel. More of a modern concept design. Yeah, I know. Doesn’t look quite right.

48. This bench is getting really unraveled.

Yes, it’s an art piece. Because of course, you wouldn’t sit on the thing. If you saw a bench like this in a park, you’d wonder if you’re on acid.

49. You’d almost think this chair was full of spikes.

Not a chair you’d want at your dinner table. But very interesting to see nonetheless.

50. You’d almost think this dresser was her friend.

Sure it can only hold her things. But it’s nevertheless adorable with its arms and legs. Wait a minute.

51. You’ll totally rave about this woolen stool.

Well, it’s a ball of yarn with legs that’s a stool. Keep it away from cats.

52. An office should always have desk that’s a fish tank.

Great for waiting rooms, especially dental offices. Then again, maybe not.

53. You’d be amazed with this rose on this chair back.

Though I’m not sure if that would fit in my living room. But the red rose is incredibly gorgeous.

54. This wicker couch will give you wonderful shade outdoors.

Wouldn’t mind having this in my patio. Yet, the top has a giant wooden spike.

55. This dragon throne would make anyone look like a badass.

Game of Thrones fans must be reeling at this one. Perfect for any Mother of Dragons.

56. This red car desk is a real show on the road.

Perfect for any mechanic’s office or auto dealership. I’m sure anyone would like the shiny red hood.

57. Heard of a VW microbus? How about a VW pool table?

Though it kind of looks pretty lame so to speak. Also, I’m not a fan of pool either.

58. You’d feel you fall asleep in the forest in this bed.

Well, it’s more of a fantasy scape. But it has a large trunk at the base with lily pad steps.

59. You can never take your eyes off this rosy chair.

Has a green frame and rose cushions with leafy arms. So pretty.

60. How about a couch with its own lights?

Yes, it’s a rather weird design. But a reader will surely enjoy it. If they’re not keen on aesthetics.

61. If you like swimming with the sharks, you might want this bed.

Well, it has the shark on the bottom. Sure it looks awesome. But is probably expensive as hell.

62. A cutlery chair is perfect for any dining room.

Has a spoon seat and a fork back. Goes with a plate table with knife legs.

63. Any car girl would adore a pink Cadillac bed.

Yes, you’re a fan of Grease, you will want this bed. Though it’s not meant for beauty school dropouts.

64. This is a horned throne that Satan could love.

Yes, you can totally see Satan sitting on this nice leather chair in the fiery ravages of Hell. After all, the horns are especially quite wicked.

65. Any outdoorsy kid would relish in sleeping under a tent.

But at least you don’t have to brave the elements, animals, or the mosquitoes. Has a shade opening and white balls hanging from the roof.

66. Any little girl would enjoy sleeping in this quaint cottage.

Yes, it’s another playhouse bed. But it has drawer steps and flower baskets. So pretty.

67. Sit in this chair and you’ll have a library on the side.

Well, the shelf is on the side. And the chair looks really comfy.

68. A Swan Princess just has to sleep in this swan bed.

I actually saw this one at Maymont a couple years ago. There’s also a vanity and chair made out of narwhal horn.

69. I’m sure some people fantasize sleeping in the bed of a truck.

Okay, it’s a truck bed you can sleep in. But at least you don’t have to worry about rolling over.

70. Perhaps you can sit and rest easy in this wooden hanger chair.

You’d almost think this would be appropriate for a chiropractor’s office. Yes, hangers can certainly pass for vertabrae.

71. Seems like this bookcase is a bit lopsided.

Don’t worry, it was constructed that way. Also, it has legs to keep it standing.

72. Outside you can seat yourself on a moss covered stool.

Then again, it could be grass. Don’t know the difference between the two sometimes.

73. You can really spell it out on these Scrabble couches.

Like how the tiles are pillows. And each couch resembles a tile slot.

74. Apparently, this vanity really wants to make an impression.

Has a rather whimsical quality to it. Like how they used books balance the legs.

75. A real snake would surely enjoy this cobra chair.

I’m sure you’d find this at Uncle Monty’s place. Too bad he died to the dismay of the Baudelaire orphans in The Reptile Room.

76. How about a car sofa for two?

Seems like it’s a Volkswagen bug with two seats. And yes, it’s attached to the wall.

77. You can have a colorful chair with pom poms.

Well, certainly makes a colorful addition. Wouldn’t mind having this in my house.

78. You’d always find your type with these kinds of stools.

Yes, it’s set up like a typewriter. But you won’t see any letters on the brick wall if you sit on them.

79. Keep your books neat and tidy on this teacup shelf.

Each shelf is a teacup stacked on another. A cute addition for any little girl’s room.

80. This looks like a job for Bookman!

Yes, it’s a bookshelf guy. Not sure how I could put it in a living room.

81. You can feel like royalty sitting in this zebra throne.

Aren’t zebras supposed to be endangered? Then again, this is probably an old chair. Like the plume.

82. Someone must’ve done something to this chest of drawers.

Actually, it’s designed that way as an art piece. So you can’t put your clothes in it.

83. Any Gladiator fan would want to sit on this Coliseum seat.

Okay, it looks pretty cheap as an Ancient Roman merch rip off. But it sure appears comfy.

84. This chaise seems to have a whole world spilling from it.

Wouldn’t want to be one of the tiny people living on this piece. Though it’s pretty impressive.

85. Perhaps you might want fries with this bed.

Well, this consist of fry pillows you can put in the back. Though I don’t think they’re very comfortable.

86. You can hold lots of things on this tree shelf.

Sure it may not hold a lot of stuff. But it certainly has a whimsical quality to it.

87. You can have lots of fun in this book bed.

Well, the bed is on one side. The drawing figures are on the other below the comforter.

88. You can have your own table without legs.

Resembles a floating table you’d find at a haunted house. Great for Halloween.

89. You’d think this bed is a real rollercoaster.

Yes, this is a long bed. Not sure how you sleep on it. Not sure if I want to know.

90. A little princess has to sleep in her own fairy tale castle.

Sure it’s all pretty in pink. But what little princess wouldn’t want to it in their castle?

91. You’d almost think these chairs are part of the table.

I’m sure this is more of an art piece than actual furniture. But somehow I just want to sit on one of the chairs to see what it’s like.

92. Check out the feet on this bedside table.

Now that’s tacky as hell. I mean why should its feet consist of feet in high heeled shoes? Why?

93. You’d almost think a beaver did a number on this chest of drawers.

Don’t worry. It’s an art piece. But this little girl loves posing with it.

94. There are no bones about this skeletal chair.

Weird how they have skulls on the seat. Perfect for Halloween but incredibly creepy.

95. You might just turn a new leaf in this chair.

Seems like a chair you’d put in a daycare center. But it certainly has its charm.

96. There’s nothing more romantic like sleeping on a gondola.

So it’s a gondola couch but same rule applies. Even has its own umbrella.

97. These dining chairs are always together.

After all, they’re a couple at a fancy dress ball. And no, you can’t sit on them.

98. You’d definitely find these chairs quite eggscellent.

Yes, these are egg chairs. And no you can’t scramble them and sit on them over easy. Egg tables included.

99. Kick back your feet on this ice cream sandwich ottoman.

At least it won’t melt when it gets warm. Also, has fine cushioning for your desires.

100. You’ll be happy as a clam in this shell bed.

Yes, you can sleep like you’re a mermaid in the ocean. Except you’ll breathe air and not get wet.

The Lofty World of Hot Air Balloons

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In some areas during the spring, summer, and fall, you might see a hot air balloon or two effortlessly floating in the sky.  Though you may not see them often in the sky, you might see them in decorations and in many postcard worthy pictures like the one above. Still, these lighter than air aircraft consist of a large envelope bag containing heated air which makes it buoyant, usually with an open flame. Invented by the Mongolfier brothers in the 1780s, the hot air balloon was the first successful human-carrying flight technology with the first manned flight taking place in 1783 Paris. Though unmanned ones have existed in China since the 3 Kingdoms era. Today modern hot air balloons are mainly used for advertising and recreation. Yet, they can fly at extremely high altitudes and long distances if need be. Unlike other aircraft, hot air balloons can come in various shapes, sizes, and colors. There are even hot air balloon festivals from around the world which can include races, evening “night glows,” rides, and other activities. But here, I bring you a treasure trove of these fabulous flying machines for your unique reading pleasure.

  1. You’d almost think this balloon is out of this world.

Though the space shuttle seems quite out of place among balloons. Yet, it’s quite awesome to look at.

2. “I tawt I taw a puddy tat.”

You can guess that this balloon has attributes of Tweety Bird. Though you’d probably never saw him up that high before.

3. A balloon like this is reserved for high flying celebrations.

Must be honoring someone or some establishment’s 100th birthday. Yet, I don’t think the candles add up.

4. Now that’s what I call a fly ball.

Okay, “fly ball” is a baseball term and this is a football balloon. Still, football season’s coming up soon.

5. There’s something magical about this castle in the air.

This is for Disneyland. Guess they have their own hot air balloon festival for the tourists.

6. Never thought I’d see a perching bird that huge.

Don’t worry, it’s just a hot air balloon. Not the result of a nuclear power plant accident. So just relax.

7. How about a nice cold pint in the sky?

Yes, apparently, they have beer shaped hot air balloons. But I suppose this is for an advertiser.

8. Watch our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ ascend into the heavens.

May not be like the lauded paintings from the Renaissance. But it’s close enough. And kind of hilarious.

9. Who says that pigs don’t fly?

Though the wings are quite small on this one. Yet, I like the cool shades.

10. Since it’s the Trump administration, I’d have to add a zebra.

The zebras were a bunch of people in costumes in La Paz, Bolivia to calm down traffic. Yet, this kind of resembles one of them.

11. A bouquet of tulips always looks stunning in the air.

Sure they’re not real. But you can’t help but admire them from hundreds of feet. Guess these are for spring.

12. Hope this blue clown can put a smile on your face.

On second thought, that’s kind of creepy. Don’t know why we have clowns stuff like this.

13. Nobody can resist this cute balloon penguin.

Looks a little sad. Still, it’s so adorable that you’d want to hug it and keep it for your very own.

14. The cactus looks as if it’s about to get high right now.

Well, it’s wearing sunglasses. But I’d watch the arms if I were you.

15. Seems like this little bee is quite flighty.

After all, this bee is about as sweet as honey. Seeing it fluttering in the sky is an absolute joy.

16. Wells Fargo sure enjoy their piggy banks.

So much so that they were involved in a scandal pertaining to savings accounts. Though you have to love the hearts on its cheeks.

17. Wonder how this shoe house will get off the ground.

This is perhaps a rendition of the “Old Woman Who Lived in a Shoe.” But in this case, it’s a Timberland.

18. A star-spangled balloon never fails to please.

It’s blue with white stars on top. Yet, the rest of it consists of red and white checks.

19. Seems like you can find this happy Jack in a box.

Well, it’s a jack-in-the-box. Though it’s not as creepy as some of the real things.

20. Tesco is the supermarket with the great large shopping carts in the sky.

Well, that’s kind of clever. Yet, I’m sure this isn’t a for a US chain store. Because I’ve never heard of the company.

21. You’d almost think you can fly when you’re on this balloon.

It’s supposed to depict Disney’s Peter Pan. Though considered a classic, it’s one of my least favorite Disney movies.

22. There’s a no more American hot air balloon than one of Uncle Sam.

This one has an Uncle Sam face and hat. But at least he seems happy to take to the skies.

23. This one of a kind hot rod is powered only through hot air.

Yes, you can have hot air balloons of cool stuff like this. Though you’d have to use a lot of canvas or nylon.

24. How about a balloon with a more prehistoric flair?

This T-Rex in the sky doesn’t really look like much. Yet, aerial photography isn’t always the best.

25. I’m sure you’ll have it easy getting this Humpty Dumpty over a wall.

Even if it’s Trump’s wall which would do absolutely nothing to keep undocumented immigrants out. But this is cute.

26. Tonight, I hear you can watch a cow jump over the moon.

This is from another nursery rhyme called “Hey Diddle Diddle.” Let’s just say its lines make no sense whatsoever.

27. You’d almost think this hot air balloon came from outer space.

Well, at least the default shape is perfect for the alien head. Hope it doesn’t land in Roswell, New Mexico.

28. This cute little clownfish may not be Nemo but it’ll do.

This one seems to have a little curious grin on its face. Yet it seems to take sailing the skies like swimming in the ocean.

29. These sky carrots apparently belong in their own patch.

Looks like we have a lovely bunch of nylon carrots. Too bad they’ll be devoured by rabbit balloons later.

30. You might find this hot air balloon quite finger lickin’ good.

Yes, there’s KFC hot air balloon, too. Yet, whatever’s in it won’t be good for your blood vessels. I guarantee it.

31. A Lisa Frank hot air balloon shows your girly rainbow pride.

Man, I loved Lisa Frank when I was a kid. Still, this has enough rainbow and glitter to spare.

32. Apparently, this balloon is filled with the luck of the Irish.

Well, it’s a shamrock balloon. So it’s perfect for flying over your local Saint Patrick’s Day parade.

33. A windmill hot air balloon has a fine country touch.

Seems like this one’s from the Netherlands. Mostly because the blades have the Dutch flag. Also, it’s a windmill.

34. With this balloon, the stars and stripes surely fly.

Yes, that’s a big hot air balloon. But at least it has all the stars and stripes.

35. Never though a house in the sky could be this haunted.

This one is for Halloween. Nevertheless, you’ll find hot air balloons for all sorts of occasions.

36. Is there a fire somewhere in the sky?

Seems like this fire truck balloon has a little face on it. Hope it can put out the fire in time.

37. Famous Footwear really put their foot on this one.

Yes, you’ll see a lot of advertiser balloons at a festival. Still, Famous Footwear’s one is perfect.

38. Wonder what creature head this one belongs to.

Resembles a green pointy eared antenna space alien to me. But yes, that’s a very gruesome show of fangs.

39. You might want to take a cue from a pink elephant.

Of course the whole expression of “pink elephant” is totally lost on kids. And yet, this guy looks wasted.

40. Care for a bouquet in the clouds?

This just consists of a bunch of balloons on a pile to make it resemble flowers. Yet, it also looks a bit like rainbow ice cream.

41. Wonder how much a lighthouse can see if it can fly.

A lot more than a regular lighthouse. But this lighthouse balloon is right on the money.

42. A Mardi Gras clown balloon is perfect for a high flying carnival.

As you can see, it has a yellow, green, and purple hat with jingles. Still, not scary as the previous clown.

43. Thought you’d never see a hot air balloon shimmer in the night life.

Yes, this is a hot air balloon in neon lights. And boy, do those lights dazzle like an electric sign?

44. This princess really has her head in the clouds.

She wears a golden crown and has on a pearl necklace. So pretty.

45. With this hot air balloon, adventure awaits at Paradise Falls.

You can bet I had to include the Up house in this hot air balloon post. Still, the house is the basket.

46. Is that a gambling bug flying around?

Well, it has card suites, antennae, and 6 digit.s Yet, it seems to be quite handy with a full deck.

47. The King has made landfall.

But I have to tell you that Elvis has been dead since 1977. Not kidnapped by aliens. But enjoy this hot air balloon in his likeness in the meantime.

48. With this hot air balloon, you’ll have a sea fantasy on a snowy day.

Consists of a happy octopus with a smiling fish and starfish. So adorable but more appropriate at the beach.

49. Celebrate American independence with this hot air balloon.

It’s decked in American flag colors with the Declaration of Independence. Another piece of Americana I had to include.

50. Why modernize when you can just copy an original?

This is a modern rendition of the Mongolfier balloon they used in the 18th century. Strangely it has a Belgian flag instead of the French one in that basket.

51. This rocket balloon will always soar in American glory.

Sure it won’t take you to outer space. But you’ll certainly take to the skies.

52. This hot hair balloon has become this dragon’s true domain.

Okay, it doesn’t look scary. But it goes around the balloon and breathes fire.

53. Someone has to keep law and order in the skies.

Well, this sheriff balloon has a rather quaint look to it. Even has a bobby hat and a sheriff star.

54. I guess this hot air balloon has a medical disposition.

This one has the caduceus insignia on it to symbolize medicine. Guess a simple red cross was already taken.

55. A polar bear hot air balloon is filled with Arctic might.

Guess this was to spread more awareness on climate change. Still, it’s huge when you look at it from the ground.

56. A sky high panda bear is always a wondrous sight to see.

Because what’s cuter than a bear balloon is a panda bear balloon. So adorable you want to cuddle it.

57. Apparently, balloon isn’t meant for the whole family.

Is this to advertise condoms, vibrators, or dildos? At any rate, wouldn’t want to see it from a mile away.

58. This pot seems to have its lid screwed on just right.

Yet, it doesn’t seem to be worried in the open air. From here on, it’s smooth sailing.

59. You’d almost imagine little green men coming out of this one.

Well, it’s a UFO hot air balloon. But some people might not see it this way and perhaps wish whoever’s operating it to take them to their leader.

60. This basset hound is always on the trail up in the air.

This hound is of orange, black, and white. But you’d never find a dog in the skies like it.

61. The Orient Express now offers air service.

Okay, it doesn’t provide air service because it’s a train. But still, this balloon is a near perfect likeness of a steam engine.

62. This skyward barn has much to offer.

Sure it looks like what you’d see in a kiddie’s play set. Even has a cow sticking out of it.

63. This alarm clock balloon will always tell you the time of day.

Well, it’s surely happy to tell you the time. Seems to sport such a happy face.

64. “She keeps a Moet et Chandon in  a pretty cabinet…”

It it’s a kind of wine. But the balloon of it here only consists of the cork.

65. “The Wells Fargo wagon is a-comin’ down the street…”

Well, a stage coach like this is a Wells Fargo icon. So it’s only fitting I include it here.

66. Someone’s got their mind up in the air.

Well, that’s quite a brainy balloon. I know it’s kind of sick but I’m sure some readers will find it pleasing.

67. While the United States has the stars and stripes, Canada has the red maple leaf.

Still, living in the Trump administration, I have to envy them for having a good looking prime minister like Justin Trudeau. Nevertheless, I’ll probably hear more about them come hockey season.

68. A caravel always sails effortlessly through the skies.

Though a real wooden ship wouldn’t look as pretty as this outside the movies. But it’s surely lovely to behold.

69. Now here’s a fire extinguisher that could put out a wildfire.

Okay, I’m kidding on that one. But I’m sure the people of California could only wish this was a real fire extinguisher instead of a balloon of one.

70. Of course, you can’t have a hot air balloon festival without including Noah’s Ark.

Because it’s a big boat with all the animals on it which kids can enjoy. Sure they were on there to wait out a flood. But nobody cares when it’s a balloon festival.

71. No hot air balloon festival is ever complete without a butterfly.

This one has especially colorful wings. And an adorable little face to go with them.

72. Perhaps you might want to see EPCOT fly these days.

Now EPCOT is a part of the Walt Disney World in Florida. Also, I’ve actually been there back in 2008.

73. Even in the sky you’ll bound to behold a tasty chocolate sundae.

This one includes a cone and a cherry on top. But don’t bet on them serving ice cream there.

74. This turtle is always ready to take off from anywhere.

Too bad he has his shoes untied. Then again, he’ll probably still beat the hare anyway.

75. Never thought I’d see a green Jaguar in the air.

I’m sure people attending the festival would later buy a Jaguar. If they happen to possess a Swiss bank account or a yacht.

76. Even at a hot air balloon festival, Mr. Peanut always knows how to make an entrance.

And even after so many years, he’s as dapper as ever. Only difference is that he’s voiced by Bill Hader.

77. In case of a blaze, you can always count on this guy.

Okay, he won’t actually put out fires. But you have to love him in his large, red fireman hat.

78. Now here’s a hot air balloon that keeps going and going…

Because that’s what the Energizer Bunny does. Well, until the batteries inside it die.

79. A US spaceman takes it to infinity and beyond.

Sure it has an over-sized head and short limbs. But I’m sure space geeks will adore it.

80. A jack-o-lantern hot air balloon is pure Halloween delight.

I guess this is for a fall hot air balloon festival. Wonder if it lights up at night like the real thing.

81. A Remax house always makes for a happy home.

Too I can’t see more of this thing. Then again, it’s sometimes hard to take pictures of hot air balloons that do justice.

82. Not sure if this is the kind of atmosphere for a deep sea diver.

And this one is dressed in a black and yellow suit. Cute but not sure if the sky is the best place for it.

83. There’s nothing more fluffy in the sky than a small cottage

This is for bread, I recall. Yet, the home appears rather quaint and cozy like a Keebler elf house.

84. A macaw in the sky is a colorful parrot to behold on a ledge.

Yes, it’s in a perching position. But the bird itself really can fly. Guess sitting is more regal in a hot air balloon form.

85. The sky is a wonderful place for a peacock to spread its wings.

Well, doesn’t seem to have much of a train. But a colorful tail like that will surely do for me.

86. A lofty hot air balloon can depict a symbol of the nation.

Though I’d much rather like a bald eagle attack Donald Trump. Because he’s an illegitimate president and narcissistic sociopath with no redeeming qualities whatsoever.

87. This hot air balloon seeks to raise awareness and fight for the cure.

Then again, I kind of wish the Breast Cancer Awareness should focus on prevention. But yes, we should talk about it more. And not just in October.

88. Horton the Elephant will always be faithful 100% in flight.

Nice to see a hot air balloon of Horton from the Jungle of Nool. Yet, I have no idea where his clover is which has the speck of dust of Whoville.

89. Seems like this hot air balloon comes straight from the Dark Side.

I can almost hear the notes to the “Imperial March.” Still, this Darth Vader balloon is pretty damn cool.

90. If you liked Mike Wazowski from Monster’s Inc., then you’ll like this hot air balloon.

Yes, he’s everyone’s favorite cyclops. Though you’d have to hear him and Sully sing, “Put That Thing Back Where It Came From or So Help Me.”

91. Odd to see a pair of pants in the air. Wonder who put them there.

I know you’d think it’s a strange hot air balloon shape. But at least it’s an original design.

92. This penguin is all ready for fun in the sun.

It even has sunglasses, sandals, a hat, and Hawaiian shirt. So adorable.

93. Perhaps you’d want a bottle of wine for the skies.

Not sure what the wine is. But it sure has a lovely bottle design. Quite distinctive.

94. Not sure how a forklift operates in the sky.

Well, it’s for a forklift company. Still, you’d have to give kudos for this balloon design.

95. Large green balloon, Yoda is.

Little wrinkled and green man, Yoda is. But balloon amplifies his head tremendously, it does.

96. You wouldn’t expect Santa Claus to show up in a balloon of his own likeness.

Yes, they have hot air balloon festivals all year long. Even around Christmas. And this Santa is huge.

97.  Wonder if this scarecrow can frighten the crows this high.

Probably since it’s so high. But on the other hand, it’s so adorable with its smile.

98. Oust will always keep the air fresh, even in the skies.

Though I’m not sure this will help you ward off odors of cow manure. Because it’s a hot air balloon.

99. Christ the Redeemer rises in Rio.

Bet this was for the Olympic Games in Rio. Still, have to admire Jesus’s jersey.

100. You can never have a great balloon fest without including Ben and Jerry.

Though this balloon doesn’t have any of its wacky flavors. Still, it soars.

The Funerary World of Coffins

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It is often said that funerals are more meant for the living than the deceased since it involves saying goodbye to a loved one. Of course, this year, I had to attend my grandfather’s funeral on the week of my birthday back in January. Now while it’s hard to deal with his loss for me and anyone else in my family, his death wasn’t much of a shock since he was 89 years old. Nevertheless, funerals are often big business since death is an inevitable part of the human existence. I mean sooner or later we’re all going to die. So we might as well get used to it. Funerals are a ritual in which we celebrate a recently dead person’s life before we send them on their way to the great beyond. Oftentimes this would involve embalming the person’s body and sticking them in a ludicrously expensive box known as a casket or coffin. For the next few days that body is on display for a viewing until just before the funeral in which they’re often shipped away to a place of worship and later the cemetery and six feet under. Normally a coffin is a long rectangular (or hexagonal) wooden (or metal) box which often contains a cloth liner and a pillow. Yet, there are some custom coffins out there which can be a little creative, which is where I come in. So for your reading pleasure, I give you an assortment of crazy coffins you’ll probably never see at anyone’s funeral. Enjoy.

  1. If your late nana always wanted to take a cruise but couldn’t, you might want to bury her in this.

There is a place in Ghana where they make custom made coffins like this. I guess this is for someone who worked on a cruise ship.

2. With a coffin like this, your dead pilot can reach the heavens in no time.

So what if it doesn’t actually fly. It’s just perfect for that one co-pilot on a flight to that great destination in the sky.

3. For a departed ballerina, a slipper casket will do.

Might be for Nina from Black Swan after she fatally stabbed herself. But it’s more likely for a dance teacher or choreographer.

4. Seems like John was a snooker man.

Because the balls here are all one color. Had he played pool, he would’ve been in more trouble a lot earlier.

5. Looks like this casket is bent over.

It’s actually a sitting coffin designed by surrealist Rene Magritte. You know him for his freaky paintings with the guy’s head behind an apple.

6. If you’re in a casket like this, it’s always hammer time.

That or it’s a perfect sendoff for a someone who was a real tool. Still, you don’t want to nail it in too hard.

7. Now this is a perfect send off for a real mother hen.

This is weird looking chicken. But I guess the deceased was a farmer. Though you can’t count them until they hatch.

8. This pink fish coffin is designed for those who let the big one get away.

Well, I guess there are pink fish in Africa. Still, talk about a fish out of water.

9. Of course, these coffins can give you the “fun” in funeral.

These one stand up and have faces on them. Not sure if they help ease the grieving process.

10. Your Uncle Stan may not be able to take his hot rod with him, but this is the next best thing.

I guess this casket didn’t come cheap. Then again, none of these do.

11. I’m guessing this was custom made for a woman.

Because it has boobs on it. Still, women have been buried in regular caskets for like ever.

12. For a funeral in Aspen, may I recommend an Alpine sendoff.

Well, this doesn’t seem too expensive. Just put the corpse in a bag and tie them to a sled with skis.

13. Now poor Charlie is literally in the jaws of death.

Yes, this is a shark coffin. I know what you’re thinking. But come on, I had to include one of these on my post.

14. Seems like this casket is someone’s key for the afterlife.

Though you’d be press to find a door it can unlock. Yet, it’s quite clever and simpler than some of the other designs.

15. A fancy car coffin should send you to that high end club in the sky.

Yes, there are coffins of cars, too. And this one’s windows are lined to give the dead person privacy.

16. There’s nothing like one last smoke before final departure.

Ever want to guess what killed this person. I think I have an idea. I mean it’s shaped like a cigarette so it’s practically obvious.

17. Before you go to the great beyond, remember to give us a call.

Turns out this Blackberry coffin has its own cover. Though the deceased is never calling back.

18. You’d find this casket rather reflective.

Well, it’s made from mirrors. Then again, light might bounce off of it if it’s a particularly sunny day.

19. How about be buried in a fancy eco-coffin?

These are cardboard coffins that disintegrate with the corpse over time. And they come in a variety of patterns.

20. If you’re on the highway to hell, why not have flames on your casket?

Yes, it certainly looks badass. Yet, you’d have to wonder who’d want to be buried in this.

21. Seems like fins are sticking out.

Actually the shark fins are part of the casket. Gives a more badass touch so to speak.

22. A Nintendo fan wouldn’t leave without their controls.

Sure the controls won’t work. But that doesn’t matter where this guy’s going.

23. He always wanted to go out with a bang.

Let’s hope that whatever this coffin looks like didn’t get him there. Because we all know what guns do to people.

24. How about you take your final trip in a convertible?

Well, you may not be able to get dates in it. Unless they happen to be among the choirs of angels.

25. You can say Brad lit up everyone’s lives.

That or he was a renowned electrician. Then again, even electricians will eventually burn out.

26. This eagle casket will certainly send your loved one soaring.

I have to admit, it has really nice feathers. Still, it’s more of a totem figure than anything.

27. For this deceased, it’s all 7s.

I guess this guy never had this much luck at a slot machine. Because no one ever does.

28. I guess who’s ever in there was a real basket case.

This is a wicker coffin and yes, it’s said to be eco friendly. Wonder if the Israelites put a dead Moses in one and sent him down the river. Oh, wait, they were in the desert. But it would’ve been an appropriate funeral for him.

29. If you’re in this coffin, chances are you’ll meet the Doctor at another time.

Well, I’m sure Doctor Who fans would want to be buried in this. Hope they don’t run into any Daleks along the way.

30. Your loved one will be camping forever in this one.

After all, people did camp in such trailers back in the day. And the windows have striped curtains.

31. Guess this woman is doing a solo on someone’s casket.

Well, it’s shaped like a large guitar. Yet, it’s a perfect sendoff for any well-known rock star.

32. Perhaps you might want a perfect picture of the afterlife.

This is a Canon. I’m sure it doesn’t work. But it certainly looks state of the art.

33. Send off your dead loved one in a casket of luxury.

By the way, this is what Michael Jackson’s coffin looked like. I’m sure it didn’t come cheap.

34. A boat motor coffin is perfect for whatever floats your boat.

Why a motor? Doesn’t make sense to me. Also does it float when you put it on the water?

35. A glass coffin always makes death transparent.

For some reason, I find the glass coffin idea kind of creepy. Must be due to Snow White, I guess.

36. If you want to make a statement, get buried in neon.

Now that’s my kind of coffin. Love the metallic stripes on it. So pretty.

37. Seems like a late DJ can drop a few beats.

Yet, I’m sure the club in the sky will have a very good selection. In fact, many of the musicians themselves are there.

38. Who’s said that a coffin should fit one when this fits 3?

There’s actually a sad story behind this one. So I won’t recall it. But yes, these do exist.

39. If you want a custom made coffin, this seems like a good fit.

Seems more like a containment chamber than a coffer. But hey, to each his own.

40. With this coffin, you can play video games for all eternity.

I’m sure plenty of people would want that. Yet, how can you play video games if you’re dead?

41. Instead of just a box, how about add a box kite?

After all, death should be a time when one should fly. Because death is always forever.

42. Perhaps it’s best to bury him the way they found him.

I guess they have a crime scene coffin, too. Not sure if that’s right. But it looks pretty funny.

43. For those who love beer, it’s an honor to be buried in a Pabst blue label.

Hope this person didn’t die from liver cirrhosis. Because alcoholism is a major problem right now.

44. This coffin was made for a real NASCAR sendoff.

Yet, if you want the real thing, make sure it crashes and burns into another coffin just like it. Not sure if that’s possible though.

45. This Twix coffin was built for 2.

Because Twix come in packs of 2. Hope you can get the picture here.

46. Lie in this coffin and nobody will forget you.

This is another Ghana coffin. Notice that it’s more in a traditional style.

47. You’d almost think this coffin was somebody’s dream house.

Well, sort of. But it certainly has a nice roof and porch to it. Love it.

48. This guy must’ve been a real monkey wrench back in his day.

Well, at least that one was easier to make than the hammer. But I wonder how you’d bury it.

49. Nothing makes a great send off than lying in a flamboyant lizard.

Well, if you can’t get buried in a dinosaur, then this must be the next best thing. But it’s still pretty cool.

50. Now this is how you pay tribute to an American hero.

Too bad the military just sticks with regular wooden coffins and draped flags. This seems more appropriate.

51. A dead piano player has to lie in this classy coffin.

This one even has keys on the side. Sure they don’t work, but it’s quite grand.

52. Looks like this coffin has received a lot of signage.

Though signing one’s casket isn’t usually a funerary tradition. Then again, to each his own.

53. An ocean lover would certainly would like to lie in this squid.

Then again, they’s probably prefer fish. But this seems like it can float one’s boat.

54. How about the porcelain treatment?

It’s just a wooden box with porcelain designs. Seems more appropriate for a china closet than 6 feet under.

55. This Nikon coffin is very state of the art.

Even resembles a real camera. May not take pretty pictures. But doesn’t look half bad.

56. Any last concessions?

I mean it’s a concession stand casket. But Quaker is the only brand I recognize.

57. How about a call back with this Nokia coffin?

This one even has a video screen. And I also hear it’s rather indestructible, too.

58. Ever wish you can be buried in your yacht? Now you can.

Well, sort of. Doesn’t quite resemble a yacht. But it’ll probably cost you an arm and a leg.

59. Bet you’re sure where this train car is going to take you.

Well, it more or less resembles a passenger car, not an engine. Because I couldn’t find the train engine. But this works.

60. Wonder how well this coffins projects this person’s life.

Then again, it seems this person worked at a movie theater. Though the reels don’t have film.

61. Seems like the fine wine has gone to vinegar in this casket.

Still, it’s kind of strange to have a bottle in the cask. Like the guy is a bottle.

62. He who’s buried in the remote controls all.

And this is for a Philips DVD player. All right, but you can’t push the buttons.

63. If you can’t be buried in your luxury ride, this luxury coffin will do.

Sure it might be real nice on the inside. But the only trip this thing will take you is 6 feet under.

64. Never thought you could be buried in a vise.

After all, a vise isn’t among the cool tools out there. Still, I wonder if it has any adjustments.

65. Wouldn’t necessarily call it a walkman. More like a lie-man.

Well, it’s in the shape of a walkman which people haven’t used for years. It’s kind of like an obsolete mp3 player.

66. Imagine yourself lying dead inside this scary lobster.

Well, that’s a gruesome lobster coffin. Definitely don’t want to be buried in that.

67. You’ll probably burn being buried in a red hot chili pepper.

You’d think this place in Ghana would make coffins of just about anything. Not surprised by this.

68. If you’re holy, you’d might want a coffin of biblical proportions.

Even has gold leaf on the pages and title. Just like a Bible should. But you’ll only find a body in this one.

69. In this coffin, you can write your own eternity.

Heard they have one that’s specifically for her. As if women haven’t been using these for decades.

70. Perhaps you might opt for a Venetian sendoff.

Because in Venice, they travel through canal boats since a lot of their streets are waterways. Though don’t ask for a gondola to sing for you there.

71. I guess this guy lying here was a bit of an old timer.

After all, it’s the kind of car you’d see on Downton Abbey. Still, whoever’s in that coffin better be old.

72. This gives a whole new meaning to “one foot in the grave.”

And it seems to be a Nike sneaker in this case. Even has its own laces.

73. The iDie brings the latest in funerary technology.

Something tells me that Steve Jobs was buried in this. I mean he invented the thing.

74. Now this coffin appears as pretty as a peacock.

Well, it certainly has a vivid feather train. And the man who made it is very proud of himself.

75. This turtle coffin takes the slow course to the cemetery.

Though you have to admire the shell shades on this one. Colors really go together.

76. How about a beer coffin by the bottle?

Guess this is a Ghana brand. Yet, “Club Beer” is hardly an original name if you ask me.

77. This coffin seems to have money all over it.

Guess this will be Donald Trump’s coffin when he dies. Because money seems to be among the few things that matter to him.

78. Uh, isn’t that bag a bit too large for carry-on luggage.

Caption: “Student Kirsten stands next to a coffin looking like a travel bag in a museum in Kassel, central Germany, Thursday, June 9, 2005. The exhibition called “crazy coffins” contains 16 different coffins and is open from June 9 to September 4.”

79. You’ve heard of rolling in Benjamins. How about lying in them?

Yes, this coffin is a stack of money. Only meant for the 1% who basically take it from the rest of us day in and day out.

80. A fallen deer hunter should always receive this special treatment.

Bet my neighbors will get a kick out of this. It even includes camo coffin liner.

81. May you lie in your final resting spot well grilled to perfection.

Now this’ll make your next summer barbeque an awkward experience. But I think it’s quite amusing.

82. Sometimes one might want to go with a more concept coffin design.

Basically it says that one’s deceased loved one was basically like leftover restaurant food. Come on, that totally is styrofoam.

83. Even in death you should always put your best foot forward.

This one is a more manly shoe. And it has been shine you can see yourself in it.

84. Hop aboard this plane for great luxury seating arrangements.

Too bad it only sits one. But at least the pink lining goes with the blue paint.

85. Perhaps you shouldn’t mind lying exposed sometimes.

Not sure why they have a coffin like this. Still, you can open it behind the boobs.

86. A dead fisherman should be sent off in this big beauty.

Yes, it’s my third fish coffin on this post. And yes, it’s pink. But it a white stripe on its belly.

87. How’d you like to be in this bottle of Coca Cola?

It even stands up on its own, too. Anyway, wouldn’t want to be in there.

88. This Hello Kitty coffin is a rather girly delight.

Actually it’s kind of creepy. I mean Hello Kitty is for little girls. Little girls stuff shouldn’t be on coffins.

89. For a majestic soul, you might want to lie in this lion coffin.

This one seems to take a lot of craftsmanship. Check out the detail on that mane.

90. This coffin was brought to you by Ghana Air.

Yes, I had to include this one. Because that’s where a lot of these outrageous coffins were made.

91. If you’re in Sergeant Peppers Lonely Hearts Club Band, try this coffin for size.

Bob must’ve been a die hard Beatles fan to be buried in this coffin. Yet, 2 of the guys on the side are still alive.

92. With this Viking boat coffin, you can give your loved one a send off fit for a warrior.

Just make sure you set it on fire as you set it on the water. Because that’s what happens at a Viking funeral.

93. How’d you like to be buried in a bottle of Jack Daniels?

Bet that would be fine with people who’d eventually die from Jack Daniels. Like Frank Sinatra for instance.

94. Well, since your funeral is a final sendoff, you might as well go with this.

Sure it depicts Da Vinci’s Last Supper. But c’mon, it’s a Renaissance masterpiece for God’s sake.

95. May this Tupperware coffin always keep your remains fresh.

After all, Hannibal Lecter has given these good reviews on Amazon. Okay, I’m getting a little too weird here.

96. This Panasonic coffin can always capture the moment.

Well, it would certainly give you a moment you’d remember. Because most coffins aren’t shaped like cameras at all.

97. Be buried in a way that’s fitting to any Starfleet officer.

Notice that it’s yellow for a command officer. Because redshirt bodies are normally left behind on the planet.

98. Seems like someone was murdered in here.

Actually that’s part of the casket. I know someone has a very sick sense of humor.

99. Seems like this nurse has had her last shot.

And they’re apparently burying her in a hypodermic needle. Quite fitting if you ask me.

100. You can easily sit on this casket if you want to.

It’s made to resemble a bench. Even has a leather lid you can sit on. Imagine that.

The Spouting World of Water Fountains

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Whether in a scenic garden, a street, or a public park, you’re bound to find fountains spouting jets of water into the air during the spring and summer months. Though you may often see them as fancy water jets for people to look at and throw pennies in, they originally used for providing water from springs, reservoirs, mountain rivers, and aqueducts to cities, towns, and villages before the days of indoor plumbing. And until the late 19th century, most fountains were operated by gravity and needed a source of water from higher ground. But many also used siphoning to make water spout, too. Though we often think fountains were invented in Ancient Rome along with the aqueduct, both technologies actually come from the Greeks. Ancient Greek fountains were mainly made from stone or marble with water flowing through bronze pipes and emerging from the mouth of a sculpted mask representing a lion’s head or an animal’s muzzle. The most famous fountain in Ancient Greece was the Enneacrounos in Athens’ Agora which had 9 large spouts. But even that isn’t as impressive as the fountains of ancient Rome that contained decorations of bronze or stone masks of animals or heroes. Medieval Islamic as well as European Renaissance and Baroque fountains are often held as artistic masterpieces. Nevertheless, since we now have indoor plumbing, most fountains are now seen as decoration. Well, save for the occasional drinking fountain. Now since they tend to be popular in gardens, you can find many of them sold at any home improvement or garden store. And they come in all different, shapes, sizes, and forms. So for your reading pleasure, I bring you a treasure trove of water fountains to delight in.

  1. You can always make water spout through pipes.

Sure this mostly consist of pipe from the gutter drain. But it certainly works.

2. Even a miniature garden can use its own fountain.

Not sure if a mini garden fountain is quite right. Yet, I can see why someone would want one.

3. A small indoor fountain can bring some watery joy.

Helps if it has a colorful seahorse, coral, and golden shells. Then again, I kind of consider fountains more of an outdoor thing.

4. Sometimes a hollow stone column, a basin, and a metal spout is all you need.

Well, it doesn’t look like much. But it certainly goes with the garden scenery.

5. A watering can makes a wonderful fountain spout.

Well, that’s pretty inventive. Doesn’t hurt to put plants in it either.

6. What do you mean water can spring up from rocks?

This is a more naturalistic fountain for gardens. And yes, you barely notice it except for the water spouting at the top.

7. Even a small ceramic fountain is no less impressive.

Yes, it’s a rather small structure. But its deep blue color will certainly make an impression.

8. With copper pipes and water jets, you can make the water flow anywhere.

This one is shaped in a wheel with holes in the pipes. So the water can trickle down exactly where it’s supposed to.

9. You can go as high as you want with buckets and a watering can.

Yes, you’ll find quite a few DIY varieties on here like this one. Yet, this fountain has a certain kind of charm.

10. In this fountain, it takes a long time for the water to flow down.

This one appears to be made of copper from what I can tell. And are those things shaped like leaves?

11. Though most fountains are made of stone and marble, a tree stump one is always close to nature.

This one is even made with tiers still containing the bark. Great for any rustic garden.

12. Even a simple design can do the trick.

This one just consists of a stone bowl and a small jet. It’s not fancy but it will do.

13. With this fountain, you’ll find water flowing down all the steps.

This one is best suited for a wall as you can see. But it will surely go well with wooden fencing.

14. A mosaic fountain should always boast magnificent tiling.

After all, who doesn’t go for colorful decorations now and then? Love the brilliant blue.

15. A stone basin can sometimes be a lasting feature.

Here’s another mosaic fountain with blue tiling. Yet, this one also has lovely white edging and a stone basin tricking water down once it’s full.

16. A bowl and pitcher can be just as nice.

Even helps if both are intricately decorated. As long as you have the pitcher pouring into the bowl.

17. The larger the water receptacle the better.

This one uses a large stone jar that’s against a stone wall. Perfect for a garden, though I wouldn’t drink the water in it.

18. Sometimes an old bathtub can make the perfect fountain pond.

Well, that’s pretty ingenious. Just put the jet in with a bunch of rocks and you’re done.

19. With a box fountain, you sometimes need to cut corners.

Because if you don’t, where could the water flow like this? Well, it can overflow but that would make a mess.

20. When you have a pump, expect water to flow from buckets.

This one uses 3 buckets and a faucet. Certainly an interesting fountain to see.

21. A long thick log of bamboo is great for making a water wall.

A water wall is a certain type of fountain that has water flowing from the top down like a waterfall. Pretty simple explanation, really.

22. Speaking of water walls, check this one out of a Japanese arch.

This one is made from wood in the Japanese arch style. But it still has water trickling down from it.

23. Sometimes a large stone water jar is all you need.

This fountain has a stone jar tipped to have water spilling over the rocks. Fairly simple concept to apply.

24. Got some old tubas? Make a fountain out of them.

Hey, if the old Sousaphones don’t work, you might as well. Since you can surely have water flowing in them.

25. For a simple but modernist concept, try a fountain of raised metal bowls.

Sure it might not look like much without the water. But it spouts where it should and creates a couple waterfalls, too.

26. Since fountains are water fixtures, I’d say a dolphin motif seems appropriate.

I guess this one is made for indoors or a courtyard. But since everyone likes dolphins, I’ll put it on this post.

27. With 3 large stone jars, who knows what fountain you’d have.

These jars are of all different shapes, sizes, and colors, too. Great to have in any garden.

28. If you want the water to flow somewhere, a trough of brick should do the trick.

Yes, that’s a fountain. And yes, it takes a lot of room. But it’s not too fancy and has a stone basin at the end.

29. Sometimes 3 rock fountains can be better than one.

This one consists of rocks of different shapes and sizes. Wonderful centerpiece for any rock garden.

30. No fountain can be nearly as impressive as one with 3 bronze horses.

And it has water spouting from all their mouths. Yes, they look majestic, but I’m not sure about the spouting part. Well, to each his own.

31. Sometimes a water fountain can leave room for flowers.

This one even has a place for water to fall in a rocky stream. Nevertheless, you can’t help but love it.

32. This fountain head is nothing short of angelic.

This is an impressive bronze fountain that’s probably seen in a park. Yet, it’s nowhere near the ones you’d see in Italy or France.

33. A rocky waterfall always gives a naturalistic charm.

Yes, it almost seems like water is flowing from the ruins. And yet, it’s perfect for a scenic garden that’s most likely near a mansion.

34. A mosaic fountain should always be tiled to impress.

This one even has a white border and a lion’s head. Love the floral design.

35. There’s nothing better than a fountain attached to an urn for flowers.

This might be from some French chateau. Yet, it certainly goes well with the landscape.

36. A wooden bucket and pump fountain is never complete without a washboard.

Well, it certainly has a rustic feel to it. Yet, you don’t need to prime the pump to get any water in this one.

37. A modern black fountain has a certain kind of elegance.

Though I wouldn’t say it goes with a wall of flowers. But you have to like having its spouts together.

38. You can’t have too many teapots with this fountain.

Seems to me this is for an Alice in Wonderland garden. Still, at least it’s original and clever.

39. This stone arch fountain almost resembles ancient ruins.

Though I’m not sure if an arch would have a stone bridge within it. Yet, I understand it works with the waterfall.

40. With enough metal teapots, you can fill a whole cup.

This one even has string holding the pots up. Not sure how that works. But I like it.

41. A square flat fountain can always please.

Well, it’s great among rocks. Love the water coming out of it. So pretty.

42. For a more Southwest feel, this fountain of ceramic pottery is just for you.

Well, large ceramic pottery, anyway. Still, the stand is totally supposed to resemble adobe.

43. A stone enclosed waterfall is always a wondrous sight of beauty.

Almost thought it was from Maymont at first. But then I realized the Maymont one had lions on it. Still, love it.

44. A large fountain should always have a bowl overflowing.

Guess this is supposed to be for a courtyard. Love the blue and purple tiles.

45. How about a fountain with a large wagon wheel?

Not sure if the wheel turns. But I guarantee there’s water coming out of it.

46. Who knows what you can come up with when you have a bunch of empty bottles?

Though only 3 of these spout water. The rest have their bottoms facing.

47. This stone fountain has 4 metal spouts coming from it.

Well, it may be rather plain to some. But I do like how it has a basin to go with the pavement.

48. A metal garden bicycle can fit all kinds of pots.

Well, this is an interesting concept. This one has a pottery pitcher pouring into multiple pots. And a flower pot in the front, too.

49. No fountain is as whimsical is a ferris wheel of buckets.

I know some people might think it strange. But it’s from Pinterest. Of course, you’d probably not see that at a garden store.

50. Glass bowls make great fountain tiers.

Well, whatever works I guess. Though I do love the artistry on this one. So pretty.

51. A blue mosaic fountain almost appears heavenly.

It even has water coming out of the sun which is kind of weird. But it’s nevertheless impressive.

52. Put a wheelbarrow near a pump and watch the water flow.

Helps if the wheelbarrow is quite rusty. And the receptacle is a rock edged pond.

53. When you pour a jar, you can make a waterfall.

Well, if you have something to constantly put the water in the jar first. But it goes well with the plants.

54. Sometimes inspiration can come in the strangest manifestations.

This one has bottles in a bucket like champagne or beer on ice. Yet, instead of ice or alcohol, it’s water.

55. Sometimes you can do with 3 spouts on a wall.

This one must be in the Spanish mission style. Simplistic yet with a certain elegance.

56. When you pour the kettle, water comes out for the flowers.

Sure the kettle is rusty. But at least pouring it in a large bucket makes does wonders. Love it.

57. From this fountain, the water almost resembles sails.

Yes, it’s certainly meant to impress. And it even has a boat bottom to go with it.

58. With the right stonework, a fountain can always have a serene water way.

Well, the fountain is far off in the back in this picture. But it surely appears pleasant as the water flows to the basin.

59. Presenting the vortex fountain.

It’s basically a fountain that creates a whirlpool. And yes, it looks pretty cool.

60. On a mosaic fountain, you can never have enough water jets.

Sure this looks incredibly expensive. But I’m sure many rich people have something like this in their gardens by now.

61. Female nudes appear in all kinds of art and fountains are no exception.

And I guess there’s water spraying from her nipples. Wonder what kind of garden this is supposed to be for.

62. A marble fountain should always have a black sphere on top.

Yet, it sure seems perfect in a courtyard setting. Still, think it’s quite spectacular.

63. What comes in one watering can, comes out in another.

This is more suited for steps. Yet, it certainly has a whimsical touch.

64. You’d almost be stumped to miss this fountain.

And as you can see, it’s within a stump. Helps if you have plants growing around it.

65. Sometimes a small black fountain is in simple elegance.

Well, it’s in an oval shape with a square receptacle. So classy.

66. A Moorish garden is always a spectacular sight.

This is from a botanical garden in Missouri. But yes, it’s in the Moorish style that’s supposed to be close to paradise.

67. Why stick with one waterfall when you can have 3?

Well, seems like the kind of fountain for a patio. Yet, you can’t hate this one.

68. A spherical spout is almost out of this world.

Now that’s interesting. Not necessarily my taste. But unique enough for this post.

69. Best to put some gravel if you have a stone waterfall.

Yes, I know it’s a compact waterfall for a patio. But it’s amazing to see nonetheless.

70. A fountain at a corner patio can always impress.

Still, I’m sure this one doesn’t come cheap. But it sure looks pretty cool.

71. For an old cabin look, a wooden fountain will surely do.

Sure it might somewhat resemble a Jacuzzi. Well, if it weren’t for the jet spout.

72. A wall fountain can be so much simpler if you have bamboo.

Sure bamboo may be cheap. But for some reason I don’t imagine ancient China or Japan having water fountains. Well, at least ones appear like those we’re used to.

73. Sometimes it’s best to go with nature when it comes to waterfalls.

Well, that certainly looks almost naturalistic. Quite lovely if you can get my drift.

74. For a more rustic fountain, a pump and 3 wooden buckets should do.

Well, it’s certainly quite unique to put on this post. Nevertheless, the buckets always overflow.

75. A flowery fountain has water coming from the petals.

Well, when you’re doing a fountain post, you have to go with some unusual examples. This surely takes the cake. Yet, you have to admire it.

76. A colonnade is a fine addition to surround a fountain.

This is from a park in Houston. And though it’s not fancy, it’s surely spectacular.

77. A small fountain in a patio works best when stacked with stone.

After all, everyone has to adore a water jet in a small pool. Stunning to say the least.

78. Well, everything seems square on this fountain.

This one is made from concrete. Not fancy, but not bad.

79. Sometimes concrete and stone have a simple magnificence to them.

This one’s title has the words, “affordable simple design.” Yet, it’s probably the case if your net worth is over $2 million and you run a casino.

80. You can always create wonders with enough stone fountains together.

For some reason, they remind me of steaming rocks. Yet, it’s a lovely garden addition.

81. A mosaic fountain can always use a vase.

This one has a blue one with arms. Also like how the tile is painted. Beautiful.

82. A stone ship should always have a water wheel.

So when the dragon spurts out water, the wheel turns. And it seems like it spilled some from what I could tell from the wet spot.

83. Peacocks look especially grand on a tile fountain.

After all, there’s almost no bird as pretty and with a long feathery train. Love the flowers, too.

84. This fountain boasts a real carnival of animals.

I guess this is for a zoo in California. But you have to admire the animal art on it.

85. This angel fountain boasts a wall of water.

This is a lovely structure. Love how each wing has water raining down.

86. A brick fountain always has a sold foundation.

Of course, it’s not graceful like some of the other fountains here. But it’s certainly interesting to look at.

87. A brick waterfall should always enchant.

Have to admire the brick work on this. Also has a gravel pool for the water.

88. Sometimes you can find a fountain in the most interesting formation.

Not sure what shape it’s supposed to be on the top. But you have to admire the waterfalls.

89. Never thought you’d see water coming out a glass sphere.

The glass ball fountain is supposed to be of a unique design. Not sure if I can understand the concept.

90. A Gothic fountain can always impress in the garden.

Well, it’s more like Gothic Revival. And more suited for old cathedral courtyards than anything.

91. You can’t take the Earth for granted in this fountain.

After all, there’s no other planet like it that we know of. Nevertheless, it’s quite lovely.

92. Didn’t know there were any adobe fountains out there.

Actually, it’s not made from adobe. But it depicts an Pueblo Indian scene as far as I can tell.

93. As water flows, this fountain ignite flames in no time.

Guess you need fire to make a fountain more spectacular. As if water doesn’t accomplish that already.

94. You’d almost swear the water’s coming from the sky.

I know it seems hard to wrap your head around. But there must be a device that makes the water come out from the floating faucet.

95. Things are getting grassy with this fountain.

Well, it’s a grass ball fountain. Makes sure you trim it once in a while though.

96. A dragon fountain is always a splendid sight.

This is from China, by the way. Though you’d probably already guessed that. Yes, it’s a magnificent dragon.

97. A hurricane eye fountain always flows water in a spiral.

It’s meant for a patio, especially one with stone pavement. Yet, it’s quite sublime.

98. It takes a broken large pot with some little ones to really make a splash.

Another fountain in the Southwest patio style. But this one is quite colorful to behold.

99. Here we come to a Japanese scene with its own water wheel.

Yes, it’s a fountain with a small picturesque scene. But you can’t help but love it.

100. It always rains a rainbow with a fountain wall of lights.

Well, at least at night, anyway. But the water and colors are simply spectacular.

The Culinary World of Kitchen Things

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Look in any kitchen and you’re bound to find an array of pots, pans, dishes, utensils, and other appliances kept in the cupboards. Of course, many of these exist for making various different kinds of food. Yes, I know cooking can be so complicated sometimes. But tune in to TV and you’ll find at least someone advertising the latest kitchen gadget to make preparing food easier. Same goes when you shop at a store. Nevertheless, whenever you need some kitchen gear, it’s best that you shop for stuff that can be used on as many kinds of food as possible. Or on food you cook the most. Because all that kitchen stuff takes up cupboard space as well as have to be washed. And some of that crap may just not be dishwasher safe. Still, among all those essential kitchen tools, gadgets, and appliances, you’ll come to some contraptions that seem to stand out. Some may be weird gadgets that might make your life easier. Some of them may look utterly ridiculous. And some may have a kind of novelty feel to them. But that’s where I come in. So for your reading pleasure, I give you a glimpse into the culinary world of kitchen crap. Enjoy.

  1. Keep track of your eggs with this egg minder.

This is an egg tray that syncs to your smart phone to tell you how many eggs you have and when they’re going bad. However, with this you’ll never be scrambled over your eggs again.

2. Why use a knife when you have the one-click butter cutter?

Just stick the butter in this contraption, press it over your bread, and you’re done. Easy.

3. With this toaster, you can now get your breakfast in one place.

This toaster is equipped with 4 slots and 2 sets of fryers for egg and ham. Now you don’t have to go between the toaster and stove.

4. Pasta knuckles can determine how much spaghetti you’ll need.

Yes, now you can use knuckles to measure pasta. However, these won’t help you in a fight.

5. There’s a Nessie in my soup.

This Loch Ness Monster soup ladle will create an unforgettable impression. And it even has feet to stand on.

6. In the future, even your liquid measuring cup will eventually go digital.

Includes a digital display to let you know how much is in it. Still, I hope this is waterproof so you can wash it.

7. A taco truck holder is a must for Taco Tuesday.

Now you don’t have to worry about falling tacos again. Though they’re likely to fall apart when you eat them.

8. Portion control pasta baskets only lets you cook with what you need.

Comes in a set of 4. Great for those who can’t seem to agree what kind of pasta to eat. Seriously, pasta is pasta. No matter its shape, its composition is always the same.

9. With this handle you can now pour milk straight from the carton.

Though buying milk by the gallon jug makes much more sense. Besides, they already have handles.

10. These clip on can drainers help get the water out of the can.

Such an amazingly simple device. Though it sometimes looks rather silly. Still, it’s probably essential for some.

11. A clip-on spoon rest will always come in handy.

Just put the clip on the pot and use it to hold your spoon, spatula, or other utensil. Available in many different colors.

12. With this corn scraper, you can have those kernels straight from the cob.

Though most of the time, eating the corn off the cob is preferable. Still, great if you have kids.

13. Never angst about removing strawberry stems and leaves with this huller.

Yeah, I know what it kind of looks like. But it is what it is. And in bright red, too.

14. A double dough rolling pin consists of two rollers for the price of one.

So how are we supposed to roll dough with this. At least a regular rolling pin has handles.

15. Making veggie pasta is always easy with this slicer cone.

Put the veggies in and turn it around until it’s all spirals. Wonder if it can do much else.

16. Be a badass in the kitchen with these shark oven mitts.

Because nothing makes you look badass like having a shark bite off your hand. Available in black and gray.

17. Now you can sharpen your carrots like you sharpen your pencil.

Yes, it’s a giant pencil sharpener for carrots. Don’t ask me why it exists. But it gets the job done.

18. A digital mixing bowl helps you make a cake in the future.

Interestingly, it’s called Smart Mix and comes with a spoon. Hope the timer tells me how long I need to stir and how many times.

19. This cherry chomper will be happy to take your pits.