The Disappointing World of Epic Design Fails

Posted by historymaniacmegan on July 23, 2019

Nobody’s perfect. And those who design all the stuff we look at and use are no exception. After all, we all make mistakes. But if you design something, people are going to notice. At best, it’ll be overlooked like it’s no big deal. At worst, it’ll be emblazoned all over the internet and you may be known as a “you had only one job” person. Actually that may not be the worst since that might depend on your profession. Though some of these pieces might include more than one terrible mistake. From bad architecture to bad ads, you’ll find design blunders all over the place. Sometimes it’s bad font, wording, and ad perception. Sometimes it’s something much more practical. So for your reading pleasure today, I’ll give you an assortment of epic design fails. So enjoy. Though some of these might not be safe for work for obvious reasons.

To be fair, counting miles is pretty tricky.

No wonder running this trail feels longer than it should be. Still, there’s a difference between 4 and 5 miles.

2. I think you might mean jaguar.

Because jeopards don’t exist. Seriously, it’s not even a word. But little kids might not know that.

3. What do you mean I can’t smoke in this ashtray?

Don’t you know what an ashtray is for? If you don’t permit smoking, why do you have them?

4. Hunters Plaza is so heartless these days.

Okay, they’re raising money to help kids with childhood cancer. Couldn’t they just say so and not look like monsters?

5. The Econo Camper Mat makes for a great book surface.

Uh, aren’t you supposed to be lying on it? Better on an air mattress than the grass, I always say.

6. Even superheroes listen to their parents…oh wait.

If you’re familiar with superheroes, you can see why these don’t add up. For one, Batman saw his parents murdered. Second, both Superman’s dads died when he was young. And both seem to send him conflicting messages. Third, superheroes don’t have bed times.

7. Perhaps your little princess would like to sit in this Cinderella car seat.

Didn’t know one of Cinderella’s ancestors was a giraffe. Seriously, this is really freaky.

8. Apparently, the University of Texas doesn’t have a statistics department.

Because these bars on this graph are way too high. Seriously, doesn’t someone understand percentages?

9. Bleach Cereal is part of a complete breakfast.

Who the hell would buy this? Sure I don’t think it’s toxic, but you wouldn’t know by the packaging.

10. Okay, I think this Minion craze has gone too far.

Minion bikini? What the fuck? I know they’re really popular but a minion bikini just doesn’t look right.

11. Did someone just die in here?

Don’t worry, it’s just the carpet’s merely designed like a mass murder happened here. Still, I wonder how many 911 calls this place has inspired.

12. Why are those two guys banging a human centipede?

To be fair, they might just be horsing around. But the positioning of these guys gives me a far dirtier impression.

13. Almond milk or laundry detergent? You decide.

Because this almond milk bottle seems to resemble something you’d keep bleach in. Not sure if I’d take any. Oh wait, I wouldn’t.

14. We’re open 24/7 except when we’re not.

To be fair, they’re only closed late at night on weekends. So it’s a time that most people won’t be calling anyway.

15. At Thunder Bay, golf is a man’s sport.

Guess someone didn’t have the balls to tell the landscaper about this. Then again, you’d have to be nuts not to notice.

16. I’m sure your girlfriend will have quite the sensation once you hit the ‘Clit.’

It’s a forest recreation area with plenty of bush. Not far from the G-Spot Nature Reserve. You’ll have such a good time you’d want to come again. Oh, it’s supposed to be “The Cut?” Well, the font suggests otherwise.

17. So do you have a Jack or an Ace?

Sorry, but the Jack of Diamonds doesn’t look like it. Seems more like a diamond Ace to me.

18. Since when did couches have ball backs?

For when you don’t want your guests to stay long. Seriously, that can’t be comfortable.

19. I suppose Jeff Epstein and Roy Moore used to frequent this joint.

Okay, this has one more to do with bad text placement. 8-12 is supposed to be the time not the age range. But yes, it’s pretty disturbing.

20. That doesn’t look like 5 bananas.

In fact, there seems to be 6 bananas. Apparently, this children’s book illustrator couldn’t count.

21. Pool open for 9 days a week from 10 to 9:30.

Actually, it just repeats Friday and Saturday. Still, you’d think anyone would notice it.

22. Is this supposed to be soap or candy?

It’s supposed to be hand soap. But the label seems to suggest otherwise.

23. I don’t think you’d want to use this stall.

Since the door’s basically a trapezoid. So it doesn’t provide any adequate privacy.

24. I don’t think your belongings will be safe in these lockers.

Because they don’t seem to have any locks on them. So better keep your belongings on you in this place.

25. Apparently, Habitat for Humanity provides sniper lessons.

The van is supposed to say, “Practice your skills.” But given how van doors slide, you can see where the unfortunate message comes in.

26. Seems like the poop emoji recently got a makeover.

Yes, it’s supposed to be toothpaste. But no matter what the color scheme, a glop with a smiling face is always the poop emoji.

27. Please don’t season the birds.

Okay, it’s supposed to say don’t feed the birds. But the bird should be facing the other way.

28. Pencil’s got on Nikes but no pants.

Wonder why he’s not getting arrested for indecent exposure. Then again, he’ll have to sharpen his tip once he gets going.

29. Maybe you should just put “Jazz” not anything fancy in between.

Yeah, the shirt seems to say, “Jizz Addicts.” Coming soon to a club called The Golden Shower.

30. Didn’t know Paw Patrol was such a dark show. Though it was catered to toddlers.

Well, the box says, “Paw Concentration Camp.” Like, what the hell? I don’t think 2-year-olds are ready to learn about the Holocaust.

31. Before you erect a pay meter, make sure it’s capable with its environment.

Since I don’t think solar panels work in parking garages. Still, this place must be a popular place to park.

32. Looks like Ohio State’s not doing so good.

Okay, this is an alarm clock. But why would they put the time on the scoreboard, I have absolutely no idea. Couldn’t they just put the time on the time clock like they do in every game?

33. Excuse me, ma’am, but I think you might have a severe case of diarrhea.

Actually, she’s wearing a white dress with brown flowers. But it surely looks like she massively shit herself.

34. On second thought, maybe mirrored ceiling tiles in the bathroom was a bad idea.

I mean they obviously reflect the toilets in the stalls. Guess someone has no concept of privacy.

35. Jesus Christ, these people are monsters.

Okay, they actually support Child Abuse Prevention Month. But the last 2 words are in smaller type.

36. So how are you supposed to use the toilet if you can’t reach the toilet paper?

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I mean the toilet paper should be near the toilet. Not near the sink. Yeah, I don’t know how this is supposed to work out.

37. How do you know how much water you have in this bottle.

I mean it should be at least translucent, not opaque. This doesn’t make any sense.

38. Didn’t know I could find Seven of Nine’s baby picture on a bus.

You will be assimilated. Resistance is futile. Still, I didn’t think the Borg would get her this early.

39. Do you squirt?

It’s supposed to stand for Silent Quiet Un-Interrupted Reading Time. However, “squirt” also has a rather different connotation in the bathroom.

40. I don’t think whoever designed this knows how.

The words are divided into columns. Yet, given how we read, you can see how it doesn’t make sense.

41. Aaris is home to the Eiffel Tower.

Okay, it’s supposed to say Paris. But somehow, someone had the brilliant idea to put the Eiffel Tower on the P instead of the A.

42. These activewear Speedo pants will show off your, uh….big dick energy.

Actually that’s supposed to be a leg, not a penis. But looking at them from this angle makes you think otherwise.

43. You can now watch movies from the comfort of your home or car.

The scaling on this is incredibly bad. Also, you can’t put a couch in your car.

44. Want to take some mulled spice bleach?

Okay, it’s probably not bleach, but mouthwash. Still, despite its cinnamon flavor, I wouldn’t want to put that in my mouth.

45. Care for a Tex Cock Mextail?

It’s supposed to say “Tex Mex Cock Tails.” But given how we read, it doesn’t come out right.

46. I’d have to get a ladder to plug something in.

I don’t see anyone using this electrical outlet anytime soon. Since it’s in a very inconvenient location.

47. No, “stressed” spelled backwards isn’t “desserts.”

It’s actually “desserts.” But apparently, this person didn’t get the memo.

48. You don’t want to drink that. Seriously.

Because it’s radiator coolant. Why they thought it would be fine in a tall pop can container, I absolutely have no idea.

49. So how do you use this keypad?

Look, I understand what most of these buttons are supposed to do. But the commands on the right don’t match the colors and symbols. So something might mess you up.

50. I don’t think you should wear these flamingo pants.

No, it has nothing to do with whether they might make one’s but look big or fat. But the flamingos just don’t make your crotch look good.

51. Make your home great again with some white power accessories.

I understand white is to signify color. But “white power” is also a white supremacist chant. Doesn’t look good.

52. Is that where the speakers are supposed to be?

I don’t think speakers are supposed to go near the pedal and brakes. Seriously, why?

53. Soul-Feel – to remember that perfect voyeur moment.

It would be easier just to take a selfie. Why not, I have no idea.

54. Is this supposed to be a dentist’s office or an execution chamber?

Given how the standing figure appears to be holding a gun at the lying figure’s head, you’d think the latter. Still, it’s pretty crazy.

55. Seems like this upcoming basketball game’s going to be a real snoozer.

Better not watch this one. Will probably slog on for hours. Also, this announcement is from New Zealand.

56. Warning: incoming dancer coming down the stairs.

Yeah, you don’t want to be near someone silly walking. This is especially the case at the stairwell.

57. Seems like I found Hannibal Lecter’s favorite restaurant.

Best thank Jessica’s family for offering their bodies to nourish all the cannibalistic customers. Once again, word placement is the key.

58. In this year’s Christmas Bazaar and Craft Show, we’re fighting children with diabetes.

It should be “Fight Childhood Diabetes” fundraiser. Otherwise, it means that you’re beating the crap out of diabetic kids.

59. This urinal placement’s bound to create some awkward moments.

Because I don’t think guys want to pee that close to each other. Seriously, they don’t even design stalls so close together.

60. Don’t bother parking in this driveway.

Since it has power lines running down. So what’s the point having a driveway right there?

61. Don’t let your kids go down this playground slide.

For this slide doesn’t have any side rails. Also kind of resembles a very long tongue.

62. Apparently, whoever came up with this toenail file wasn’t consulted on product names.

Pedi File? Seriously, I understand what they’re trying to get at. But the name too closely resembles a term they use for a child molester.

63. He should remember not to dive in the shallow end.

Apparently, this giant is seconds away from being paralyzed. Probably not the smartest tool in the shed.

64. Wonder what kind of prick would pay for this pool.

Hope whoever owns this one doesn’t have any kids. Because I’m not sure if they’d have the balls to explain the shape to them.

65. I don’t think bathroom carpeting is a bright idea.

Considering that you’re bound to drip water quite often, you’re better off with tile. Seriously, why?

66. Well, I guess I’ll lose then.

After all, if you can’t win at Tic Tac Toe, you can keep the other person from winning. So I’ll call it a draw.

67. I just want to listen to the radio not shift gears.

A gear shift shouldn’t be a knob. Seriously, it just confuses people.

68. I don’t think the stairs can make it to this bedroom.

Seems like you have to make quite a step to get inside. Best you don’t sleepwalk. Parkour fans only.

69. Shouldn’t you not go under that ramp anyway?

From Bored Panda: “The Rails Should Prevent People From Hitting Their Head, But Instead They Trip Over Them. So Now, Traffic Cones.”

70. There, that should keep intruders away.

Apparently, someone didn’t get the memo on how anyone can just go around the gate. So it’s basically worthless.

71. How not to design a handicap parking spot.

Not sure how the wheelchair can get around the bumper and onto the ramp. Disabled access shouldn’t be this difficult.

72. When it comes to signs, spacing is important.

The letters are so close together that you can’t tell what it’s supposed to say. Other than it’s a bookshop.

73. So where is this vent supposed to go to?

Apparently, it’s screwed on a tile wall. So it doesn’t seem to lead anywhere.

74. So how do I get this thing out of the packaging?

Seems like these things can help you open stuff. But then they come encased in plastic impossible to rip open.

75. So how do I use this keypad if I want to warm up something?

Because the keypad on this microwave doesn’t have any numbers on it. Just pictures and that won’t help me or anyone else.

76. 50 lanes? Let’s merge them into 4.

Man, if you have to deal with traffic on your commute. Be happy you don’t drive on this road.

77. Apparently, I’m not sure if this is supposed to be a wheelchair.

Does this person have a large butt? Just jumping on a bouncy ball? What else?

78. If only there was an easier way to see who’s outside the door.

For God’s sake, there’s a window right there. Seriously, you don’t need a peep hole. The window’s good enough.

79. I think I’ll use the garden hose instead.

Since the fire extinguisher more or less resembles a flame thrower. Not a great indicator in the least.

80. Perhaps you’d want a couch like this in your house.

Oh my God, this is just incredibly ugly. Also, some of the upholstery may not be suitable for children.

81. When you have to take a shit at a public lecture.

“Hello, everyone, I’m here with you today to discuss our sales figures. But first, I have go to the John. I apologize if you have to watch me drop my pants.”

82. Remember that nothing is impossible.

Except you can’t see the first 2 letters. So you might find this rug rather pessimistic.

83. I don’t think this sends a great message to kids.

Actually, it’s an anti-smoking PSA. But given that it’s on a school bus, it seems like an ad encouraging kids to drop out of school. Still, kids, don’t quit school. It never ends well.

84. Ladies and gentlemen, I give you the dumbest couple around.

Uh, I think the woman’s well past the first trimester since she’s obviously showing. Seriously, she doesn’t really need a pregnancy test by now.

85. Get ready for the Dublin Staff relay.

Since when do men wear a tie on their wrists? Because I’ve never seen guys doing any such thing.

86. If you don’t know the language and can’t get a translator. But you need to open right away.

That doesn’t seem like this business will do well. Wonder what’s going on with the translator.

87. Hope you don’t do your business at the beach.

It’s supposed to say “suit yourself.” But sometimes the typeface doesn’t do the phrase justice.

88. So what will you have for the wedding: chicken, beef, kids?

They should put the kids under the guest line. Not next to the menu. Bunch of sickos.

89. The slide goes 3 ways.

I don’t think a kid may want to slide down on that. Where they’ll land, no one knows.

90. Do you really need an iWatch that big?

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This seems more suited for people that are about the size of as skyscraper. Maybe Godzilla or King Kong.

91. Lounge in your pool with this air mattress from Always.

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In case it’s your time of the month, this float is extra absorbent. Seriously, why would anyone want to design a pool float that looks like a maxi pad? It’s just ridiculous.

92. How about joining the Cool Jizz Association?

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Oh, it’s supposed to be the Cool Jazz Association. Still, I heard they’re streaming on Netflix. Bet you’re already bursting since holding it in. Since urine luck.

93. No, I wouldn’t know what accident to do.

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This is supposed to convey “If you were in a car accident, what would you do?” But the font and size doesn’t seem to do justice.

94. Unfortunately, the memories don’t seem to last forever on this time.

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Since the word, “memories” is faded. Because it doesn’t have the same color as the other words on here.

95. Welcome to the 9/11 Superstore.

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This isn’t just an Indian Seven Eleven knock off convenience store. But also desecrates one of the worst days in American history like the terrorist attacks at the World Trade Center.

96. Here is a touching tribute to JFK at this Memorial. Oh, wait.

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For God’s sake, the guy was shot in the head during a motorcade in Dallas. While the corner is right near it. That can’t be good.

97. Music connects people.

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Unfortunately, these silhouette couple realized the world won’t let them be together. So they decided to hang themselves on 2 eighth notes. So tragic.

98. Apparently, this school administration knows nothing about current pop culture trends.

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For one, The Hunger Games is a trilogy. Secondly, it’s about teenagers who are forced to fight to the death by a repressive dystopic government. Apparently, the odds aren’t in their favor.

99. Feel free to hunt kiddies here with a shotgun.

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Actually don’t. Since the sign wants people to drive slower since kids are around. Also, hunting is usually reserved for certain times of the year. But you can understand the misinterpretation.

100. Feel free to take suggestions that we’ll normally toss away anyway.

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Because at this place, you’re opinion doesn’t really matter. So you better get used to it.

The World According to Stock Photography (Second Edition)

Posted by historymaniacmegan on July 17, 2019

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A year ago before I went to Minnesota to attend my cousin’s wedding, I did a post on ridiculous stock photography. So I decided do another for 2019. After all, given how President Cheetofascist is supremely racist, ICE is rounding up undocumented immigrants, Central American refugees, Jeffrey Epstein’s arrest, and all the crazy stuff coming from a dumpster fire known as the Trump administration, I kind of figured we need something to laugh at. Other than the so-called invasion at Area 51 no less. Anyway, you might see stock photos all around you all the time whether for public or commercial use. Often these usually pertain to cheap business ads, spur-of-the moment PSAs, and low-budget greeting cards. While many of these like the image of an old guy on the computer with a fake smile hiding distress on his face, have become memes. Remember the one with the distracted boyfriend? Well, that’s a stock photo. Nonetheless, I can go on raving about the best stock photos in recent time. But I won’t since you’ve probably seen them anyway. Instead, I’ll show you another assortment of the worst and most ridiculous ones you wouldn’t want on your craft beer website. So for your reading pleasure, I give you another assortment of crazy stock photos.

When you eat out and there are no cutlery options available.

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Apparently, judging by his hands, he just ordered dessert. I suspect it’s cheesecake.

2. Playing naked balloon fort has deep roots in the 18th century.

Okay, that wasn’t a thing. Since they didn’t have mass rubber production at the time. But given that she’s naked, in a balloon fort, and has a hairstyle akin to Marie Antoinette, I couldn’t resist.

3. Unfortunately, Del Monte phone service was utterly worthless.

Either that or he’s drunk arguing on a banana phone at the office. Then again, he just might be plain nuts.

4. On his off hours, a US Army IT guy shoots his rounds.

But instead of using his gun, he uses his keyboard. Results in less lethal accidents that way.

5. Apparently, sex doll porn is a thing.

I really don’t want to know what’s going on in this guy’s sex life. But at least he’s not hurting anyone.

6. Sandy’s new dress was full of baloney.

And apparently, she wears these lunch meat slices as a dress. Or is that really salami?

7. The Christmas party was so crazy that even Dog Santa was wasted.

Even funnier how this dog’s wearing a Santa suit and sunglasses. Man, I really don’t want to be around when it wakes up with a doggie hangover.

8. How not to bond with your kitten.

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Just because cat moms lick their young, doesn’t mean you should lick your feline fur baby. Since it’ll just think you’re insane.

9. Unfortunately, the Olive Garden had to reject Betty Spaghetti as its mascot.

What? You don’t remember Betty Spaghetti? I mean at one point, she used to be on almost all their posters.

10. During the Great Depression, Big Bird’s dad would support himself through babysitting.

Unlike his famous son of Sesame Street fame, the children weren’t very fond of him. In fact, he gave them nightmares.

11. Remember Distracted Boyfriend? Here’s Distracted Boyfriend on Escalator.

Unlike the more familiar version, this one has the parties go in different directions. Also, it’s going on behind the girlfriend’s back.

12. When the only jean size available is XXXXL.

I mean the jeans obviously go all the way up to the guy’s shoulders. Yet, he’s trying to make the best of it.

13. For God’s sake Lindsey, spaghetti isn’t finger food.

You should’ve known that since your toddler years. Seriously, waving your spaghetti and meatballs in the air just makes a mess.

14. Hundreds of miles from civilization and this old man can still use a laptop.

Still, I’m kind of skeptical how he can get a wi-fi signal that far. Besides, he’s old and not wearing a shirt.

15. Isn’t she way too big for that tricycle?

I’d say so since she can lift it up by the handlebars. Also, she’s pregnant and dressed like she’s from the trailer park in Whoville.

16. When you’ve been riding the same tricycle everywhere since you were five.

That guy really needs a car. Or at least live near a bus station. Seriously, he’s way too big for it and is wearing a business suit like he works in an office.

17. I don’t think fans will be happy with the next Predator movie.

Apparently, they had a lot of budget cuts. So instead of CGI, the Predator will be played by some bald guy with dreadlocks.

18. Elephants always enjoy the great outdoors.

The two calves are riding their bikes while their mom rides a scooter. Though they’d definitely crush these things in real life.

19. If you’re horny and you know it, blow your horn.

Apparently, this guy blows for sex. Not sure if he’ll get any with that routine.

20. Even evil witches have their girl friends, too.

But if Lexie dare steal Grimilda’s man, she’ll drop a house on her. Don’t say I didn’t warn you.

21. Tragically, the peanut tight rope has become a very dangerous act.

As you can see by how many cracked after a fall. Rest in Reese’s Pieces.

22. Duchess look behind you!

Seems like dogs engage in murder and mayhem, too. As you can see by the one dog raising its paw with a knife.

23. She makes balancing a loaf of bread on her head look easy.

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And yet, she seems perfectly secure in herself. Though I have no idea how she can keep bread that large on her head. Photoshop?

24. “Is she dead? Or is she just sleeping?”

Teacher appears like she’s trying to wake up a student sleeping in class. And she doesn’t want anyone to see her.

25. When your dog groomer plays Minecraft.

Yes, the poodle’s all trimmed in blocks. And yes, it’ll look pretty ridiculous for awhile.

26. Before she became the sweet woman from accounting, Karen was once a badass soldier in the Army.

Those look like two different women. Also, I don’t think women in the military dress like that.

27. “Kibble shares are doing great around this quarter.”

Here a business dog is at work on his laptop. And it’s almost time for him to leave and go for his walk.

28. “Mr. Gigantis, I think you might’ve had an allergic reaction.”

I’d hate to be there when that giant sneezes. Cause someone’s going to get covered in snot.

29. Nothing beats doing business on the beach.

Since that tidal wave will basically destroy the computer within a second or two. There’s a reason why people don’t have beach offices.

30. In business, you have to see all the possibilities.

That doesn’t mean you should do your business on a cliff. Since that’s incredibly dangerous.

31. Saint Nicholas receives a devastating call.

“You mean the Dutch don black face to imitate my six to eight black men? Oh, the humanity!”

32. “Get that infernal egg away from me!”

“Can’t even look how you poach, scramble, and have it over easy. It’s horrible! Stop it! Stop it!”

33. “I believe I can fly…”

Though Kyle basically works on his laptop on Greg. Poor Greg. He’s going to have chronic back problems later in life.

34. This holy sister has a message for the red man downstairs.

Oh, Sister Angelica, how could you flip two birds? So undignified for a nun like you.

35. “Want to see my business card?”

Sorry, but if a guy’s dressed up like the Dude from The Big Lebowski, I’d rather not. For all I know, he could be promoting something shady.

36. There’s nothing like the joys of doing laundry.

Here Lily sits in front of the washing machine, contemplating the emptiness of her own existence. While holding a pink balloon, no less.

37. Presenting the new Harold & Maude remake.

Man, they really stretched the age gap from the original. How old is that boy supposed to be? Please let it be 18.

38. This disabled dwarf managed to snag a lady at a punk rock concert.

What do you know, they have matching mohawks. Yet, the guy has her on a leash. Guess it’s a kink.

39. Though Walter managed to retain his 6-pack, he wasn’t put on right.

I mean he’s got his butt on his front, no less. Wonder how he has sex and goes to the bathroom. On second thought, I really don’t want to know.

40. Cousin It’s daughter doesn’t have an active social life.

She also finds it difficult to eat and drink. Mainly with all that hair around her face.

41. Beware of the 3-eyed cat.

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Okay, that’s really weird and kind of creepy. Since the third eye looks remarkably similar to the others.

42. Ever tried licking a cactus?

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Please don’t do this. Since your tongue will hurt like hell for cacti have needles to keep critters from eating their skin.

43. Meet Mike, the Cyber Internet Hacking Thief.

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He’s more machine now than man. Given that most of his body consists of robotic limbs.

44. Think you have to remove the bones and scales first.

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Don’t think that eating a fish straight out of the stream is a good idea. Might hurt your mouth. But, hey, a bet’s a bet.

45. Apparently, the sexy Ser Brienne of Tarth costume was not a success.

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Though I hear it’s been used in the Game of Thrones porn therapy and as a stripper costume. Still, Brienne deserves better.

46. Got a weird sexual fetish? These women got you covered.

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From Bored Panda: “What We Need Is A Picture Of A Blindfolded Woman In Lingerie Holding A Pomegranate With A Octopus On It. Oh And Could You Set Up A Mirror In The Corner Showing Another Woman Sulking? Perfect. Thanks.”

47. “I’ll have your neck for this, Hansen!”

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Let’s just say, the boss meant that literally as he literally grabbed Hansen by then neck. And apparently Hansen’s neck is abnormally large neck.

48. She expects to be the ultimate soccer mom.

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Since she’s carrying a future soccer player in her belly right now as seen how her abdomen resembles a soccer ball. Of course, that could just be all air.

49. Ronnie just wanted to seek some comfort from the Scriptures before ending it all.

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But he can’t decide whether to kill himself by hanging or poison injection. He’d really want it to be quick but is scared of needles.

50. You should know better than to mess with a pineapple businessman.

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He’s all about the Benjamins and he’ll stop at nothing to be the top fruit in the finance world. Though he’s bound to rot from the head.

51. “What’s in the Box?”

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Apparently, it’s Becky’s little head and she’s tearfully screaming. But at least whoever packed it in used bubble wrap and handled it with the utmost delicacy.

52. “We are trying to find the answer to the age old question on why the chicken crossed the road.”

They didn’t find it. But the scientists managed to get a half dozen eggs out of their lab observations.

53. “I want adventure in the great, wide somewhere…”

Yes, the guy yearns to go to another place with his hat and suitcase at his side. While jets fly high in the sky like they’re war planes.

54. When your mother’s an Olympic swimmer and your father is the Incredible Hulk.

While Suzie Banner was in many ways a normal child. Her dad Bruce’s condition with gamma ray radiation resulted in her having a congenital mutation of Hulk hands.

55. “Stop right there! Your pizza or your life!”

“But I just ordered this delicious pepperoni! Oh, God, please just let me enjoy just one little slice! I’m basically pissing my pants over this!”

56. Didn’t know Bigfoot had a more civilized side to him.

Okay, he’s actually answering a call on his smart phone. He’s telling his friend how he’s adjusted to human civilization and asking how things are in the woods.

57. She’s got so many reminders that she doesn’t know where to put them.

So she’s all covered in Post-It notes. If you’re married to her, give this woman some kind of organizer or a bulletin board.

58. A businessman can’t ask for anything more than being in a wheatfield with balloons and a briefcase.

Businessman in wheat field with briefcase and balloons

Someone must be on drugs. Seriously, who frolics in a wheatfield wearing a business suit?

59. Apparently, Japanese nurses are known to entertain hospital patients with conch shell performances.

Patient is like, “I have to stay up with my food poisoning for this? Can’t I do anything to get this lady to stop?”

60. Don’t worry, Nurse Liloki will take good care of you.

So she’s marching on the patient’s room with a baseball bat and glove. In case intruders come inside.

61. “Let’s try something a little more adventurous.”

I think this is taking things a bit too far. I mean making love on a log over a waterfall can result in grievous injury.

62. “Born to be wild..”

Looks like we have a true mountain lion on his mountain bike. And he’s having the time of his life.

63. When you spend so much on the phone that you don’t take time to listen to your wife.

Here the wife’s wielding the frying pan while her husband is on the phone. Would love to see them in couples counseling.

64. “But Mrs. Fletcherson, I don’t want to play the recorder.”

“Listen, Mister, we play recorders in music class and you’re gonna learn to it. Even if I have to drag your ass myself.”

65. Mr. July on the Gas Mask Hunks 2050 calendar.

The kind of man you’d want in your post-apocalyptic bunker once our human civilization is ravaged by catastrophic climate change. Named as one of the year’s most sexiest men. Given that his body shows no signs of radiation damage.

66. David is a very special boy.

Since while most people’s waists can only twist at 180 degrees, his turns 360. Yes, I know it looks freaky.

67. A child comes to terms with the harrowing reality that this is what it’ll be like until she retires.

Go ahead and cry, little girl. Adult life sucks. Also, you’ll be crying in your office a lot more often from now on.

68. Sometimes giving last respects can be very awkward.

I think we found the murderer. And they used the wrong casket, too.

69. It’s tough being a test dummy and in love.

“If we make it through this crash, Stanley, let’s run away together. We can get married in Vegas. Nobody will want to condemn us to car testing there.”

70. Tragically, even the North Pole wasn’t exempt from the drug crisis.

Given global warming, Donald Trump raging on Twitter over being on the naughty list, and other problems, could you blame Santa for shooting up heroin and snorting coke? Nonetheless, such image can ruin your childhood.

71. “Cheeseburgers! Cheeseburgers everywhere!”

This woman his haunted by cheeseburgers. Best she stay out of a Burger King, MacDonald’s, In&Out Burger, and other places.

72. Featuring the latest thing in food technology: white bread.

She kind of presents white bread as if it’s the new iPhone or something. Nice try, but she looks ridiculous. Since white bread has been around for decades.

73. Ladies can’t get enough of a manly canine lumberjack.

By day you can see him cutting down trees as well as peeing on them. Also enjoys long walks in the park and catch. Not to mention, he’s house-trained and got all his shots.

74. Sometimes you have to roll with the punches.

Seems like she’s getting a massage from a boxing glove. I know it seems straight out of an acid trip.

75. Ahhh…cactus.

The boy’s smelling a cactus. Hope he doesn’t get a nose full of needles.

76. A one-eyed accountant flashes “East Side” while listening to an abacus.

How do you listen to an abacus? Because as far as I know, you don’t.

77. In partnership with Lowe’s introducing the Victoria’s Secret Catalog: Handy Girl Edition.

She can fix up your house and be a man’s bedroom fantasy at the same time. Though I don’t think wearing a skimpy outfit is a good idea, given the potential for injury.

78. “Honey, I can explain…”

Sorry, Barry, but Jennifer knows you won’t leave your wife for her. So prepare to be bludgeoned to death by rolling pin.

79. “Ice, ice, baby…”

Yes, we cling to anything to cool us down during the summer. But embracing a large block of it is a bit much.

80. Don’t mind Larry, he’s just taking a bath.

However, most people don’t usually bathe in their scuba gear. Since most tubs aren’t as deep as the ocean.

81. Gone on a trip to an exotic Latin American country? Party in your car and pick up hitchhikers.

Actually picking up hitchhikers is a very bad idea. Also, standing up in the jeep isn’t wise either. Not to mention, I don’t think that car’s supposed to fit 7 or more people.

82. Oh, God, Santa’s been a naughty boy this year.

I’m sure Mrs. Claus won’t be happy when she finds out about this. Someone’s going to get coal in his stocking this Christmas as well as sleeping on the couch.

83. Jessie always feared the times when her daddy’s drunk.

Why is this a stock photo? It basically shows a girl afraid of seeing her dad with a bottle in one hand and a belt in the other. I think we can figure out what he’s going to do.

84. “Yo, yo, what time is it? Show time!”

“Uh, Holly, that’s not how we do a rap battle. You’re making us look like idiots. Can we just leave right now?”

85. “Put your hand on my womb, Jamie.”

Please, have this boy be her son and not her baby’s daddy. Because that boy is basically a teenager and any sexual relationship between a teen and adult is grounds for statutory rape.

86. “Our love literally defies gravity.”

I mean they’re jumping for joy yet their feet don’t touch the ground. This doesn’t conform to the laws of physics in the least.

87. “There’s a bear behind us? Let’s take a selfie.”

After this, Gary and Linda were never seen again. Or at least in one piece since the bear basically devoured them.

88. Simba rules the corporate boardroom.

Actually it’s a guy with a photoshopped lion’s mane. But Scar better watch his back since Simba will claim his rightful place as king of the pridelands.

89. “Help! I got myself stuck in the washing machine!”

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How is it possible to get stuck in a washing machine? Fortunately, none of the machines at the laundromat seem to be on at the moment.

90. Fancy a vacation on the moon?

No, going to the moon isn’t like going to the beach. It has no atmosphere so you need to put a space suit on. Else, you’ll suffer a most horrible death.

91. “Good morning, class, hope you studied hard for today’s examination.”

Seriously, a teacher in high heels and miniskirt? She seems more suited to a porn “hot for teacher” movie than a school?

92. He’s known simply as “Pencil Boy.”

Because he has pencils stuck inside his orifices, save his eyes. Don’t be surprised if the teacher calls his mom saying he got beat up at school.

93. This year’s latest fashion trend: Lobster hair.

Let’s hope the lobster is dead or plastic. Because a live one on that woman’s head simply terrifies me.

94. When you break into someone’s house in the most embarrassing way.

Or when your scuba diving excursion goes humiliatingly wrong that you end up entering someone’s home through the toilet. Yeah, got to see how he’ll explain himself.

95. When the flight is overbooked but you can’t miss it.

Yes, she’s sitting out on the wing which is incredibly dangerous. But she manages to sit comfortably in her business dress and work on her laptop.

96. “We’re about to be beset with some minor turbulence.”

Either the plane is facing some major turbulence, got shot up into space, or she’s got the acid kicking in. I don’t know how else to explain.

97. “I’m Mary Poppins y’all.”

Yes, the acid’s definitely kicking in. Since traveling by umbrella doesn’t necessarily get you where you need to go.

98. “Let’s celebrate my survival from a plane crash with interpretive dance!”

Uh, now’s not the time to do an interpretive dance moves. Better to get supplies and send a signal for a rescue.

99. This caged woman dreams of freedom from her gilded prison.

Many people might see her as Melania Trump in a nutshell. Though Melania’s prison is the position of First Lady of the United States. Despite that all she wanted to be was a trophy wife to a moral degenerate fake billionaire.

100. A teddy bear goes on his winter trek.

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I hope this bear isn’t trying to climb Mount Everest. Since he’s probably going to die after reaching the summit. Then again, the Sherpas won’t have trouble getting him there.

The Airy World of Balloon Sculpture

Posted by historymaniacmegan on November 15, 2018

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Balloons often serve as trappings at parties and celebrations. While the rubber balloon was invented by Michael Faraday during experiments with various gases, some of the earliest of these were made out of dried animal bladders like a pig’s. Aside from rubber, modern balloons can be made of latex, polychloroprene, or nylon as well as come in a variety of different colors. Most of the time, we use balloons for decorations and entertainment. Though others can be used for practical purposes like meteorology, medical treatment, military defense, or transportation. Yet, I kind of covered the transportation part in a post last year on hot air balloons. Anyway, when you go to a party, you might be familiar with the idea of balloon animals like you see above. Well, do a Google search on balloon sculpture and you’ll find plenty of things people have made with balloons. Some of them for contests. Still, some might be of the simple balloon dog kind, there are plenty that can be rather elaborate. So for your reading pleasure, I bring you a treasure trove of stunning balloon sculptures.

Clowns must always come stacked together.

Clowns have been long associated with balloons. Still, if you add one more, the whole thing can topple.

2. Mr. Potato Head always likes to party.

Though if he gets too drunk he might lose some of his facial features. Or arms or legs, possibly.

3. The mighty griffin always sits with grace.

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You can tell because it has a tail and paws. Real eagles have claws and tail feathers.

4. Care to listen to this juke box?

Well, you won’t be hearing tunes from this one. But it’s great for a 1950s theme party.

5. This balloon girl has bouncing pigtails.

She even wears a pink dress with a flower on it. So adorable.

6. You’d revel over this inflatable grand piano.

Though be careful if you opt to touch it. Because it can easily pop. Also, don’t try to play it.

7. Hugging bears always enjoy a balloon ride.

Though they’re on a raft instead of a basket. Love the rainbow hot air balloon though.

8. Better to have a blue bird in your hand than 2 in a bush.

This is by a balloon artist as you can see. And I think it’s bigger than the real thing.

9. A rainbow can always make your days better.

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This one has a rainbow in the clouds. Tubes for colors. round ones for clouds.

10. Want to swing together?

Seems like these 2 were made for each other. Though I have no idea what’s on the guy’s head.

11. A fairy princess is always happy with her flowers.

She carries a wand and wears a crown. While the flowers surround her. So adorable.

12. The doctor will see you now.

Well, these are doctor balloons. One of them has a surgeon’s cap and mask.

13. A single balloon is not enough to reach enlightenment.

Yes, this is a Buddha balloon sculpture. And I’m sure some Buddhists won’t be pleased.

14. Check out her new pink purse.

She wears a long green dress with polka dot balloons at the bottom. And yes, she’s ready to party.

15. Someone must’ve upset the earthen vessel.

This is a balloon water scene. Has rocks and trees joined at the top.

16. Saddle up on this little horsey.

On second thought, better not. Because it’ll go pop if you sit on it.

17. A butterfly always loves a flowery tree.

Seems like it was made for a party. While the butterfly is so colorful and shiny.

18. “I am Iron Man. The suit and I are one.”

However, I don’t think you can save the world in a suit made out of inflated rubber. But it’s a nice resemblance that will make Tony Stark proud.

19. Wouldn’t you love to be in this gingerbread house?

Hey, at least you won’t eat anything from it. Great for any Christmas party. So charming.

20. Perhaps you’d want a shiny rose bouquet.

Contains pink and purple roses. Perfect for any table.

21. Grace your party with an inflated peacock.

Comes with 3 lilies. Though best not to touch it or it will deflate.

22. Any child would enjoy a balloon Big Bird.

Wonder if they had this at Carol Spiney’s retirement party. Still, this is so cute.

23. Perhaps you might want to drive this semi.

Yes, this is a balloon semi truck. I’m sure who had to blow into this is all tuckered out already. Okay, they probably used an air pump, but still.

24. Nobody could resist a cupcake like this.

Even has sprinkles on it. Wonder how you inflate them.

25. Hope you can see with these glasses.

Comes on its own stand. Though it doesn’t have any lenses.

26. Now you, too can ride upon a purple horse.

Okay, you can ride on a balloon horse. Even has a long flowing mane, too.

27. Bet you didn’t think to see a rooster like this at the crack of dawn.

Sure he may not crow, but that might be a bonus. Comes with a couple of flowers.

28. Parisians would marvel at this balloon Eiffel Tower.

This one even lights up. Didn’t know a balloon display can do that.

29. Hope you don’t get karate chopped by this guy.

Yes, that’s a balloon karate guy. And he’s ready to deflate anyone who stands in his way.

30. Perhaps you’d like a fairy garden entrance.

Includes a large flower and tree. And I’m positive that it’s for a little girl’s birthday party.

31. Bet you’ve never seen a flower like this before.

This balloon flower reaches the ceiling of this building. Hope it doesn’t wilt.

32. Eek! Giant bug! Kill it with fire!

Actually it’s a fly made out of balloons. Even has clear balloon wings.

33. Beware of the ferocious fire-breathing dragon.

Doesn’t look particularly vicious. Though he has a whole space all to himself.

34. A windmill will do quite well beside a waterfall.

Indeed, you can make whole scenes from balloons. But the windmill seems kind of out of place.

35. A balloon house can be especially haunted.

Well, I know Halloween is over. But this is a balloon sculpture post so I’ll include it.

36. You’ll find this imposing mask hanging from the ceiling.

Wonder if this is for a superhero. But it’s perfect for a Comic Con.

37. Want to ride in this car?

It’s an old timey yellow car. While this guy is having a good old time.

38. This dalmation wants to give you flowers.

This dog loves has a nice bouquet of 3. So adorable.

39. This little raccoon has come out of its stump.

And it seems this little guy loves to smell the roses. Though I suppose it likes to eat from the garbage once in a while, too.

40. Looks like somebody spilled some beer.

Don’t worry since the froth is made form balloons. That ought to make you say, “dilly, dilly!”

41. With a steering wheel like this, it’s welcome aboard.

Guess this is for an ocean themed party. Yet, I think this wheel is too big for a ship.

42. A Chinese dragon is dazzling in the air.

This Chinese dragon is quite colorful and knows how to make an entrance. Wonder if it’s for a Chinese New Year party.

43. “Dinner is served.”

Of course, he didn’t cook the food. Though he’s dressed as a chef in balloons.

44. “This is the night, it’s a beautiful night…”

This a balloon version of the Lady and the Tramp spaghetti dinner scene. And yes, it’s amazing.

45. Perhaps you might like a white balloon dress.

Yes, they have balloon outfits. Don’t know why these don’t pop. Or how these people manage to sit down.

46. Jazz it up with a giant light-up saxophone.

Yes, it’s a light up balloon sax. Perfect for a party featuring jazz music.

47. A snow queen should always look resplendent.

Yes, it’s another balloon dress. But I think you’ll see it again when Lady Gaga wears it at an awards ceremony.

48. You never know what can come from the rainbow.

Includes cats and a large swan. Makes you want to be there.

49. Care for an inflatable Easter basket?

Includes a bunny, eggs, and daffodils. So cute.

50. Would you like a cup of coffee?

Well, it’s quite small enough to put on a table. And it’s always steaming hot.

51. “All we are saying is give peace a chance.”

Nice how it’s all in rainbow colors. So pretty.

52. This little leopard wants to be your friend.

Don’t worry, it won’t bite you. Since it’s all made out of rubber anyway.

53. Hope you don’t forget your friendly neighborhood Spiderman.

Yes, it’s a balloon Spiderman. Hope he’s there for Stan Lee’s funeral.

54. Nothing makes a great gift like a fancy inflatable bouquet.

This one has pink flowers inside the vase. Love the gold and black checks on it, too.

55. Perhaps you’d like a big fancy pink cake.

Has an array of candles on top. But I especially love the purple roses on the bottom tier.

56. The Dark Knight will always protect Gotham City.

Not sure what Batman would think about his balloon likeness. Because he doesn’t seem like a balloon kind of guy.

57. An inflated owl is one you don’t want to mess with.

Contains a lot of mice for some reason. Mostly because owls usually eat them.

58. Deadpool always knows how to blow.

Yes, there’s a balloon Deadpool. And I’m sure Ryan Reynolds doesn’t know what to think about it.

59. Want to make anchor?

This one is blue with a white chain. But it won’t sink to the bottom since it’s made from balloons.

60. Behold, the mask of Pharaoh Tutankhamen.

Okay, it’s a balloon likeness of King Tut. An Egyptian pharaoh who gave his life for tourism.

61. Would you like a strawberry milkshake?

Okay, it’s a balloon milkshake you can’t drink out of. But it comes with whipped cream and a cherry on top.

62. Wonder what this golden design is supposed to be.

It’s either a trophy or a fancy golden flower. Can’t tell which.

63. Anyone would want to hold this little bunny rabbit.

Seems like something you can hold in your hand. But keep it away from sharp objects or it will deflate. So cute.

64. “Who you’re gonna call?”

This is a Ghostbusters balloon display. Though I’m sure one of the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man has to be around somewhere.

65. Any queen would love to have this inflated crown.

Even has purple flowers near the top. So pretty. Love it.

66. Don’t want to run into this creature from the deep.

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Indeed, this is a balloon shark. And yes, it looks pretty awesome.

67. Hope you can stand the glare of the rainbow sun.

Well, its rays go into all directions. But the whole display is easy to pick up.

68. A large colorful butterfly should be there to greet you.

Here it is on the front door. While the other balloons near the stairs are flowers.

69. Nobody could resist a sweet little walrus like this.

it even has whiskers and tusks. So adorable. Want to give it a fish?

70. Of course, you can’t forget the iconic Marilyn Monroe.

She has her dress rising up from The Seven Year Itch. So don’t look up her skirt.

71. “Smokey, my friend, you are entering a world of pain.”

Yes, they have balloon characters from The Big Lebowski. Though some might think this Walter one is a bit over the line.

72. Sometimes you have to fly like an Egyptian goddess.

This one is pretty elaborate. Love her golden wings. Hope her name’s not Isis since that name’s become associated with a terrorist group.

73. Perhaps this guy can scare the crows for you.

Well, it’s a balloon scarecrow that’s not so scary. Even has a balloon crow in its arm.

74. Bet you wouldn’t guess who this Disney princess is.

It’s Snow White by the way. And yes, her head is bigger than the rest of her body.

75. Perhaps you might want to spend some time under the sea.

Seems like the octopus dominates the display. Yet, you’ll find a mermaid sitting on a rock.

76. Feel in the mood for an elephant ride?

It’s an Indian elephant since you can’t tame an African one. Still, you have to love it in balloons.

77. Want a hot air balloon ride?

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Can even fit 5 people inside a balloon basket. Love the rainbow on the balloon. So pretty.

78. Sometimes we can all use a nap.

Yes, it’s a balloon hammock. Though I’m not sure if I want to lie down on that.

79. Seems like there’s life out there after all.

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Okay, it’s a balloon alien in a flying saucer. Yet, its head almost takes the whole window.

80. Hope this lamppost can light your way home.

Sure it’s a lamp post made out of balloons. Yet, it lights up at a party.

81. You can stun at a party in this long black dress.

Even has pink lace at the bottom. Hope she doesn’t sit on anything sharp.

82. Perhaps you’d think this is a fitting knightly tapestry.

Well, this is certainly spot on. Like the knight on his horse slaying a purple dragon.

83. Two swans can always enjoy a pond by themselves.

Indeed, it’s a balloon display. But you have to love the weeping willow in the background.

84. Don’t you just love a rainbow?

Well, the rainbow is even in a heart in this display. And among a background of clouds.

85. Perhaps you’d like to see a dinosaur with flowers.

Well, it’s a purple stegosaurus holding flowers. So adorable though.

86. You can find plenty of flowers growing on this well.

But don’t put a coin and make a wish. Since it’s not a wishing well.

87. Sometimes you’ll find a magical world underwater.

You’ll find seahorses and plenty of fish. So amazing if you ask me.

88. At a wedding, it’s customary for rings to be intertwined.

Yes, these are balloon wedding rings. And they’re touched with red roses.

89. There is so much to love about a heart shaped coach.

And I guess this is for a wedding. Comes with wheels trimmed in gold.

90. This guy can cut anything with this giant pair of scissors.

Actually, I don’t think he can cut anything. Because the scissors are inflated with balloons.

91. Did you take anything from the toucan?

While it may seem quite sophisticated, you can’t help but love it. So cute.

92. As beauty, Belle holds a rose in a tale as old as time.

Though she didn’t wear a crown in Beauty and the Beast. But she’s so pretty.

93. This lizard is as cool as a cucumber.

I think it’s supposed to be a balloon iguana. As it sits on its own branch.

94. Hope you can stand with pride for this stars and stripes.

Sure it’s made with balloons. But you can see the stars in the blue section.

95. Apparently, he intends to eat Thanksgiving dinner all by himself.

After all, he only has a large knife and fork. Still, this is kind of amusing.

96. You’ll find a great bounty in this cornucopia.

And yes, it’s filled with all kinds of fruit and veggies. Still, in the Hunger Games, the cornucopia has a way different meeting.

97. A phoenix can always rise out of the ashes.

This one even has 3 tail feathers. Though don’t put it near fire.

98. Try getting a gumball from this candy machine.

Though you’ll need a big coin. And you’ll probably get a balloon instead.

99. Hope you can hear these herald angels sing.

Yes, they’re Christmas angels. But you have to love their smiles and candy canes.

100. You’d swear this balloon display is a work of art.

This is a takeoff of Sandro Botticelli’s The Birth of Venus in balloons. And yes, it includes nudity like the original.

The Roadside World of Billboards

Posted by historymaniacmegan on October 8, 2018

3D illustration of blank white billboard against blue sky.

Let’s face it, advertising is everywhere. Wherever you go and whatever you do, you’re still bound to see some kind of ad promoting some kind of product or service. After all, a business has to sell somehow and some way. Even in a rural area, whenever you’re traveling, chances are you’ll see all kinds of billboard signs advertising local businesses and services nearby. Some may even have public service announcements or political messages. Some may just promote products like fast food or beer. But whenever you travel, you’ll still see them. Nevertheless, you’ll come across some billboards with unique designs and funny slogans. And that’s where I come in. So for your reading pleasure, I give you a treasury of billboards that won’t make you bored to tears. Some of these may not be safe for work by the way.

Come to Pedro’s south of the border.

Not sure if using “sausage” is a good idea. Oh, I get it, it’s supposed to be “saw such.” My mistake.

2. Best to drive carefully through Branxton.

Since it has 2 cemeteries and no hospital. So if you get injured, you’re out of luck.

3. Of course, some people just have to bring their personal lives out for everyone to see.

Look, I know you’re hurting, Emily. But please, I think airing your anger on a billboard makes you seem like a crazy bitch.

4. Stop in at Big Dick’s Halfway Inn.

Okay, this sounds kind of dirty for a rest stop. I’m sure “Original Minnow Shot” will have its own Urban Dictionary entry real soon.

5. With Esurance, you can cover your home in a click.

Sure you might not see anything wrong with this message. But look at it from far away, and it says, “cover your home in a dick.”

6. This billboard was brought to you by Financial Arts, Inc.

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However, if you’re looking for anything silent but deadly, I don’t think their website will offer it. Though I don’t know what financial arts are anyway.

7. Pollo Tropical always offers island flavor.

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But they aren’t great choosing a font. Since the “island” part also reads bland, which won’t attract potential customers.

8. Your Local 5 is here when you need to know.

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Though the headline doesn’t help matters. Seriously, people might get the wrong idea.

9. Since you only live once, try to be happy.

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Brought to you by Wilks Funeral Home. Hey, at least they know how to cash in on a trend.

10. Spend your time at this golf range.

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This place boasts about great balls and grass. I know people might get the wrong idea.

11. If you need any help, call these guys.

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But what do these people do? Who are these people are? Seriously, I really don’t know.

12. Want to fly? Text while you drive.

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But I don’t think that kind of flying involves a plane. More likely involves a car crash.

13. Live the extreme with the Air Force Reserve.

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Since when did the Air Force do wind surfing? Not that I want to join since I don’t. But I need to know this.

14. Scandinavian Designs has their biggest sale ever.

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That woman doesn’t seem excited for some reason. In fact, she reminds me of a scream queen from a horror movie who’s freaked out about getting killed.

15. At Construct 2, we make computer games.

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Yet, this one seems to depict rather childish drawings. Perhaps they should’ve gone with state of the art graphics instead.

16. You can expect great care at Cancer Care Center.

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Don’t think that’s good for their ad campaign. Seriously, that pun goes nowhere.

17. Hope you can get a nice pair of these undies.

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Too bad this billboard ad was made by someone who couldn’t type. Seriously, the capitalization is nuts.

18. Lowe’s always takes care of unfinished projects.

Well, at least Lowe’s knows how to advertise. Since that billboard looks unfinished to me.

19. She caught her cheating husband with state of the art equipment.

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I think ads like these belong on Craigslist. Not on billboards for all to see.

20. Cops hide here. So get a Mini Cooper.

Sure the Mini Cooper is small. But an ad implying that cops hide behind the bushes is disturbing.

21. Want to see your teeth as we do? Go to Aspen Dental.

I know she’s smiling. But it’s a frown upside down. That don’t look right.

22. Want to see the largest continent? Fly on Air Asia.

Well, that’s a clever way to use puns. Hope it goes over the kids.

23. Got hemorrhoids? Tampa Proctology is at your service.

Come in through the rear entrance. And please, no butt dials.

24. Want to enjoy Minnesota? Move to Wisconsin.

Someone doesn’t seem to appreciate Minnesota very much. But this is from a Wisconsin real estate agency.

25. When burying your dead loved one, think outside the box.

This is for a cemetery. But when they say to think outside the box, they usually don’t mean a coffin.

26. Don’t read enough? Try these audiobooks.

I know some Americans may be offended by this. But this company is from Canada. Still, I’d replace the George W. Bush image with Donald Trump.

27. Your breasts won’t bounce with this bra.

I don’t get the slogan. “Only the ball should bounce,” what the hell does that mean?

28. Seems like this billboard might’ve caused a car crash.

Apparently, sex sells. Since this is for a mechanic’s garage. Guess they know how to drum up good business.

29. Is your wife hot? Get your air conditioning fixed.

Well, that’s sure to get people’s attention. Though I’m not sure if it’s appropriate.

30. Got arrested? Call Jaeger & Blanker.

Got to like their number 1-855-WTF-POPO. Though they seem to specialize in drugs and DUIs.

31. Seems like this lobster had to see a therapist.

This is for an Australian lobster joint. Not sure why it featured cartoon lobsters in therapy.

32. The Dark Knight is open for litigation.

Okay, his name just happens to be Batman. Wonder if he gets any flack from that. Couldn’t hurt his business.

33. Life Church TV is known to vanquish Satan.

Not always a fan of religious billboards. But I think this one is quite clever if you ask me.

34. Texas Direct Auto loves your headlights.

This is for a car buying service. And I don’t think the cars they buy aren’t anywhere nice.

35. Invest in your future, study engineering before sex.

Funny how this ad implies you can’t have sex and study engineering. But still, use protection.

36. Asian Buffet: Poor English but great food.

Though Asians will certainly find this sign quite offensive. This especially with the addition of “Oriental.”

37. Buy a diamond ring for her and get a free gun.

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Well, that’s one way to drum up business. Yet, should a jeweler really do this?

38. Alcohol: Cheaper than therapy.

This is for a discount liquor store. Though between alcohol and therapy, I’d stick with therapy.

39. If you can bank anywhere, go with 1st Bank.

Yet, why it has a surgeon operating, I don’t have the slightest idea. Seriously, banking shouldn’t be on your mind while cutting someone open.

40. Keep your butt covered.

This one recommends that people get colonoscopies. Yet, why show someone’s butt cheeks, I don’t have a clue.

41. Fat and ugly? Join Fit 4 Less.

Well, that’s a rather demeaning message. From a billboard in Great Britain, by the way.

42. Get your crabs at Dirty Dick’s Crab House.

It’s a crab restaurant at Myrtle Beach. Yet, I see the dirty wordplay which would make many want to avoid it.

43. Spend time with your kids at the dinner table. Put family first.

I know it’s supposed to encourage family togetherness. Yet, it seems to imply cannibalism.

44. Come to Buc-ee’s for food and gas.

I know it’s just a run of the mill rest stop. Yet, kind of implies that the food you eat will give you gas.

45. Seems like we’ve come across a personal ad.

Well, if you can afford a billboard, you can afford a spouse. Still, not sure about displaying one’s phone number though.

46. Texting while driving kills. But if you want to know more just text.

Guess this is proof that irony knows no bounds. But seriously, texting while driving kills.

47. Got a DUI? Call 1-800-NOT-DRUNK.

The fact so many people get DUIs can make this guy have a firm like this. Kind of a sad statement of our society.

48. So, what’s our slogan?

Guess whoever made this billboard was totally high at the time. Wonder if it’s from Colorado.

49. Want to know information concerning your health and safety? See other side.

And they seem to make it so urgent. But they wasted a whole space for the typography.

50. Save the whales. Go vegetarian and lose weight.

This is from PETA, by the way. And yes, they have to get their message out their through fat shaming. Is there anything they wouldn’t do?

51. In advertising, it’s best to use only what you need.

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This one only uses a small orange square to get to the point. The rest is just bare.

52. Whether Pokémon or STDs, gotta catch ’em all.

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Not sure if Pokémon font is appropriate for this kind of matter. Seriously, why?

53. Committed a crime? Call Larry L. Archie.

Famous clients include O.J. Simpson, Casey Anthony, George Zimmerman, and more. Okay, I’m just kidding. But that slogan’s just waiting to be mocked.

54. Serenity Creek Med Spa will get you from Sasquatch to smooth.

So Bigfoot was basically a gorgeous blond woman inside the whole time. Didn’t see that coming.

55. Introducing Scooter, the neutered cat.

Wonder what this is for. Bet it’s for a shelter or vet office.

56. Unfortunately, nothing can end hunger in Ohio.

I think this is website. Still, kind of sends a rather dark message.

57. Greetings, from Quartzite, Arizona!

Even includes, legends of camels. And it’s always the weekend there, except for people who live there. Since they have to work. Seems like someone’s desperate for tourists.

58. Don’t want to be caught dead in that dress? Tell the funeral home now.

This is for a funeral home. Not sure if I agree with the slogan but it seems to work.

59. Illiterate? Write for free help.

So if you’re illiterate, how can you write for free help. Because I don’t get it at all.

60. Prevent HIV and get tested with this crew.

But I don’t know if this is the kind of way to get the message out. But whatever works for the kids.

61. Truth Ministry: where you can pray the Asian away.

Boy, that’s racist. Guaranteed to work as well as gay conversion therapy like not at all with abusive side effects.

62. Don’t forget to turn your neighbors in.

Not sure what this is for. But it’s kind of disturbing if you ask me.

63. Your local sheriff wishes you a happy Valentine’s Day.

Well, that’s kind of awkward. Mostly because sheriffs don’t take billboards for Valentine’s Day.

64. Got man boobs? Call this number.

This is from Minnesota, by the way. Not sure if I’d want to see that on the road though.

65. With the Daily Mail, both Kims are on the same page.

Have to admit, at least the Daily Mail has a better ad campaign than the Post Gazette. Though I wouldn’t want to be associated with either Kim.

66. With Lean Plum, engage the shit out of your mobile users.

Even uses the famous poop emoji. Though it’s only fair.

67. You’ll have liquor all over at Lee’s discount liquors.

Says they have 17 Las Vegas locations. So even if it does well, it has a lot of competition.

68. Injured? Go to MyBaldLawyer.com.

Well, at least he embraces his baldness. But not sure if him telling onlookers not to pull their hair out is a good idea.

69. Got a crack in your basement floor? Call the Crack Team.

Even presents a guy named Mr. Happy Crack. Saying, “A dry crack is a happy crack!” That just cracks me up.

70. McDonald’s is always open at 6 am.

Says “MY ASS.” Not sure what it means. But it’s hilarious.

71. Don’t forget to spay and neuter your pets as well as your loved ones.

Not sure if you should neuter your weird friends and relatives. Don’t know what to think about that.

72. Inspire the youth, control the future.

However, using a quote by Adolf Hitler on your billboard won’t give you any favors. Seriously, the guy killed about 6-9 million Jews and started World War II.

73. Don’t be a pickle and stop vegetable abuse.

This is for a sex shop. Yet, I really feel bad for that pickle.

74. According to Restored Church, God likes sex.

Though I guess the sex God loves is between a straight married couple. I’m just guessing in regards to this church.

75. Sask always tells you to pork the one you love.

This is for pork. But pork is also another euphemism for fuck, which they use on Honest Trailers.

76. You can reach this website as soon as you solve the problem.

Unless you’re math genius, you’ll never be able to guess. And I wouldn’t recommend you using a calculator while driving.

77. Before you put up a billboard, always run it through spellcheck.

I don’t think “pubic schools” is the right word for it. Apparently, their public schools don’t seem great at spelling.

78. Marital problems? Get a bigger house.

Well, that’s how realtors look at it. Still, I think a bigger house won’t solve anyone’s relationship problems.

79. Store your things in Bitterroot Self-Storage.

On Cemetery Lane, apparently. Gives a whole new meaning of “self-storage,” doesn’t it?

80. Want to wreck? Just keep looking at the boobies.

That will certainly do the trick. Since guys are said to be attracted by big boobs.

81. Injured? Call Brown & Brown.

Don’t mind the man in the eyepatch. Though I’m not sure if it helps their brand of success.

82. Save the date for the Testicle Festival.

You’ll have to be nuts to miss it. Make no balls about it.

83. Need help? Consider hiring a lady lawyer.

So she’s playing the woman card, isn’t she? Seriously, I’m a woman and I don’t think my gender makes me good at arguing.

84. With Virgin America, flying to Chicago no longer blows.

Well, “blows” can also mean sucks. So they didn’t think this pun through.

85. You can even use a billboard to promote yourself.

After all, he spent a whole lot of money to get noticed. So somebody should hire him.

86. Annoyed by higher taxes in Illinois? Move to Indiana.

Keep in mind that Indiana has loose gun control laws that contribute to Chicago’s high murder rate. Look it up in regards to gun trafficking.

87. Need a summer job? Try being a kept woman.

Okay, that’s just downright sick. And they’re targeting this sign for students? Makes me want to barf.

88. Get your sit together and buckle up.

Yet, the buckle is covered in the middle. Makes you imagine a different term entirely.

89. At Lou Redman’s Barstool’s and Dining, check out their stool samples.

Well, they sell stools and chairs, what do you expect? And no, they’re not talking about that kind of stool.

90. Just pop the question with a ring from Robbins Diamonds.

And here she’s flipping the bird to drivers. So stop by before she dumps you’re sorry ass.

91. Why is Justin Bieber so sad? Is it because so many teens are unemployed?

No, because teen employment isn’t as big of deal. Besides, Justin Bieber doesn’t care about anything but himself.

92. Still a virgin? We can help.

Is this an escort service or a brothel? Not sure if I want to know.

93. Keep country roads safe. Don’t drive like a wanker.

Wanker is a British expression for jackass. Yet, you see what they mean.

94. Outhouse Springs provides you with America’s first recycled water.

Okay, I don’t want to drink that. Who knows what that water has been through.

95. Get a free HIV test for Mom.

Look, I know it’s supposed to project tenderness between a mother and son. But since I know how HIV is transmitted, this scene gives me Manchurian Candidate vibes.

96. Camerman wishes dog guy happy holidays.

Now that’s kind of weird. Wonder if it’s inspired by some acid trip. Oh, it’s for Adult Swim.

97. Hey, you can win a free booby prize if you follow the link.

Wonder if the booby prize involves boobs. Or if that’s just used to entice viewers.

98. All he wants for Christmas is a Latina girlfriend.

Let’s hope he’s not a Trump supporter. If so, he’ll have is work cut out for him.

99. Gary wants to know if you’re asking for it?

No, I am not. And I don’t want to ask him either. Also, that mullet is ugly.

100. Hold it in, you’ll make it. Just drive through the exit.

I know we all feel that way at one time or another. Best we get some encouragement now and then.

The Lunchtime World of Lunch Boxes

Posted by historymaniacmegan on August 5, 2018

Whether for school or work, there are some people who may buy lunch at the cafeteria or a nearby restaurant. While others prefer to pack their own due to the food being bad, cost efficiency, convenience, or that a lunch place isn’t around. In any case, most packers will bring a lunch in some sort of bag. Sure you may have those who use containers or brown paper bags. Yet other packers prefer to have bag they can reuse and keep their lunch fresh till their break while some might want a bag that will make a personal statement. Well, that’s where lunch boxes come in. Growing up in the 1990s, I had lunchboxes with Barbie and Lisa Frank in elementary school. Yet, when I was older, I used a lunch cooler and then a lunch bag with 2 compartments that you could easily wash. Nevertheless, when I go on Google, I often see some unusual lunch box styles and ones with images that make me scratch my head. So for your reading pleasure, I give you an assortment of crazy lunch boxes the likes of which you’ve never seen before.

Perhaps you might want to knit your own lunch box.

Though I don’t think it would keep your lunch well insulated from the elements. Let’s just say wool doesn’t do well in the rain.

2. I guess you might use this for your last lunch.

Since it depicts Leonardo da Vinci’s Last Supper. Not sure if that belongs on lunch box but whatever.

3. I’m sure you wouldn’t plug your guitar in this amplifier.

Though I wonder if this lunch box comes with a guitar of similar size. Probably not.

4. “Time for lunch, Jesse.”

Yes, I know this is designed like a school lunch box. But it’s not one for schoolchildren at all.

5. If you need containers, this lunch box has you covered.

Still, 3 containers is a bit much for me. Then again, some people might have a lot of leftovers.

6. This Exorcist lunch box comes in handy whenever the demon of hunger possesses you.

I don’t doubt that The Exorcist was popular in the 1970s. But the demon puking scene makes you want to lose your lunch. Also, it’s not appropriate for school age children.

7. If you’re a great lover of meat, this Meat Parade lunchbox is for you.

It’s from a humor website, by the way. But singing sausage and bacon bits might bring looks of confusion among peers.

8. This lunch box is perfect for Taco Tuesdays.

It’s a taco truck lunch box. But alas, it won’t always have tacos on Tuesdays.

9. This lunch box is packed with ammo.

Though this is an ammo box meant for food, not bullets. Still, it seems durable to withstand the elements.

10. If you remember Lidsville, you’d probably wish you had this lunch box.

Lidsville was a terrifying children’s show in the 1970. It’s about a guy who’s trapped in a land of giant hats with a craving for human flesh, apparently.

11. Keep your lunch well insulated with this artifact tote.

It’s basically a more expensive cloth variant of the bag lunch. And it comes with a leather strap fastener.

12. No Cryptid fan should go without a Bigfoot lunch box.

Again, this one is from a humor site. Though this lunch box might make other people wonder if you’re looking for a creature that most likely doesn’t exist.

13. Keep your food away from zombies with this lunch box.

Though it wouldn’t be just a lunch box during the zombie apocalypse. Since you got to make food last as much as possible.

14. This lunch cooler comes solar powered with speakers.

I’m sure having a lunch box like this will make people wonder how you got the money for it. Since it comes with speakers for God’s sake.

15. No crazy cat lady should leave home without a lunch box like this.

Includes a cat with a cone. It’s also another one of those humor lunch boxes. Still, it’s funny.

16. Make your Taco Tuesdays awesome with this Deadpool lunch box.

Okay, he likes chimichangas. Still, this is a pretty awesome metal truck box.

17. If you like firefighters, you’d like this Emergency! lunch box.

This was another old show in the 1970s. Yet as Just Collecting states, “It’s also the only box we can find that clearly has a dead body on the front. Hey kids, enjoy your lunch, and don’t forget the dangers of smoke inhalation!”

18. Sometimes you just need to stack a couple of containers.

Well, this lunch box includes stackable containers, a spork, and a strap. And I’m sure you won’t be embarrassed to carry it around.

19. Sometimes your lunch containers have to look fancy.

These are fastened together by a metal frame. But at least it’s easy to clean.

20. Any kid who’s grown up in the 1970s would love to have this Bugaloos lunch box.

Yet, they’re all in bug costumes and conducted by an angry purple firefly. Clearly someone must’ve been high to come up with this design.

21. Who the hell wouldn’t want a lunch box of H.R. Pufnstuf.

Apparently, it was a show involving terrifying muppets for some reason. Those ents seem particularly the stuff of nightmares.

22. Hope you have an “eye’ for this lunch box.

Yes, it’s an eyeball lunch box, which is kind of disgusting. But at least it includes an eye chart.

23. Everyone in your family will fight over this Game of Thrones lunch box.

If a kid should bring a lunch box like that, I’m sure the teachers would have plenty of questions to ask. Since Game of Thrones is not a show for kids.

24. This Land of the Giants lunch box will induce nightmares among friends.

Guess this is another show from the 1970s. Still, the guy in glasses holding the people up is especially creepy.

25. Make lunchtime an adventure to the exciting world of metrics.

From Westword: “What it says: ‘I don’t get nearly enough math in class, so I enjoy looking at the same conversion-facts all through my lunch hour, too. It’s also fun to count the number of punches I get each day, multiply that by the number of Indian burns, titty twisters, and swirlies I receive, and then tabulate just exactly how much my life sucks on the metric scale.'”

26. Everyone should have a hangry kit nearby.

Because when some people get hungry, they get angry. Look what you see in Snickers commercials when Marcia Brady turns into Danny Trejo.

27. A would-be nurse should always carry a lunch box like this.

From Westword: “What it says: ‘I’m either very into entering the medical profession someday, or I really like playing doctor. Want to meet me behind the gym after school to find out which?'”

28. Nothing makes a great lunchbox than one depicting a bunch of people about to be devoured by a giant cat.

Okay, that’s kind of terrifying. Seriously the large white housecat’s giving me nightmares.

29. Anyone from the 1960s may fondly remember Rowan and Martin’s Laugh In.

From Westword: “What it says: ‘Hey, here’s a show my parents watch that I don’t understand! Because I’m six.'”

30. A friendly shark lunch bag is one you can really sink your teeth into.

For there is no way this teeth baring friendly fish wants to eat you. Though I wouldn’t bet on it.

31. A bicentennial lunch box really brings in the spirit of 1776.

Still, it may find newfound popularity among Hamilton fans. Despite featuring George Washington instead of Alexander Hamilton.

32. I’m sure hipsters might crave for a lunch box like this.

Yes, it’s a guitar case lunch box. And indeed, it has plenty of stickers for decoration.

33. You can keep your food within this Polaroid camera.

Unfortunately, you can’t take any pictures with it. But you can’t have everything.

34. I wouldn’t touch this lunch box if I were you.

Okay, it doesn’t have any organs for transplant. But that doesn’t mean you should check.

35. Feed your brain with these book bento boxes.

Put these on a shelf and nobody would ever guess it’s your lunch. Unless they try to open it.

36. If you loved Legos as a kid, you’ll love this lunch box.

Includes many brick containers inside. And yes, it resembles a giant brick on the exterior.

37. Keep your food inside this red gummy bear.

Even comes with its own ice pack. So you can keep your food chilled throughout the day.

38. Now you can take your lunch and communicate with dead people with this Ouija board lunch box.

But don’t be surprised if any ghosts show up during your lunch time. Since they can be a pesky inconvenience.

39. A Mr. Merlin lunch box is the stuff of magic.

From Just Collecting: “Mr, Merlin ran for one season, and featured a kid being taught wizardry by Merlin the Magician disguised as a car mechanic in San Francisco. The artists over at King Seeley captured the magic and mystery of the show by featuring an old man in a baseball cap and a teenage boy that looks like Joannie Cunningham from Happy Days. They also released it after the show was cancelled. You were better off praying your Empire Strikes Back box could survive another year.”

40. Kids would’ve loved to have a lunch box of Gentle Ben.

Really, gentle? The boy almost seems like he’s going to end up like Leonardo DiCaprio in The Revenant at some point.

41. Perhaps you want a sandwich box.

And yes, it’s shaped and designed like an actual sandwich. Though you can’t eat it.

42. Feel free to eat from this VW microbus.

It’s the standard model for a hippie van. Still, at least it’s portable enough to carry around.

43. In this lunch box, your meal will be read to eat anytime.

Actually, it’s more a decorative statement than anything. But it gets straight to the point.

44. Eat among the happy little trees with this Bob Ross lunch box.

After all, Bob Ross still retains his popularity since his death from cancer in the 1990s. Still, this kind of amusing.

45. Store your lunch in this vintage TV.

Sure you can’t watch anything on it. Unless you use your imagination.

46. Keep your fish sandwich chill in this bass cooler bag.

It may look like the big one that got away. But it’s a lunch bag for your catch of the day.

47. Nobody could resist a lunch bag depicting a cat on bacon.

And yes, it’s traveling through space. To be honest, many of these bags can be quite weird.

48. Keep your food on the go with this boom box lunch box.

I’m sure you can’t blast any music on it. But it nonetheless matches the metal quite nicely.

49. This watermelon lunch box is worth a slice.

Comes with a strap you can sling on your shoulder. But seems more fit for the summer.

50. Bet your lunch box doesn’t have space cats like these.

You have to wonder why they’d put cats in a nebula. Since it doesn’t make much sense to me.

51. Nobody can resist this party panda lunch bag.

This depicts a drunk panda with a Santa hat. Sure it’s not child friendly, but you can’t help but love it.

52. Behold, guinea pigs in sunglasses on pizzas from outer space.

I know this image makes no sense. And yeah, it might make people suggest you’re high on something.

53. A Rambo lunch box can be especially badass.

From Westword: “What it says: ‘Nothing is over! Nothing! Well, except maybe that point in my childhood where it’s still appropriate for me to still be carrying a lunchbox.'”

54. Bet you’ve never seen a giraffe speed demon in space.

I know this makes no sense. But it’s kind of hilarious if you see it.

55. Perhaps you might like a donut lunch box.

It even has icing and sprinkles. Includes a zipper so you can keep your food in it.

56. If you need something for hunger pains, this lunch box has you covered.

Yes, this is a medicine style lunch box. Still, it’s kind of clever if you ask me.

57. Having a cat like this on a lunch bag makes others green with envy.

This one has a cat waving an American flag and lightsaber on top of a fire snorting unicorn. Yes, I know it’s ridiculous and over the top, but it’s hilarious.

58. You’d almost think this T-Rex is jumping out at you.

Don’t worry, it’s just photoshop. That T-Rex won’t eat your sandwich though it sure seems like it.

59. Wonder what you’d pack in this NASA bag.

Depends on where you go. However, if it’s space, you can’t include alcohol or baked goods.

60. There’s nothing cooler than having your lunch in a dino case.

Has a strap to its mouth to keep it closed. And yes, you can put food in it.

61. If you love spam, you’d adore this lunch box.

Though to be fair, you should stay away from spam. Because it’s a processed meat that’s not very good for you.

62. May the odds be ever in your favor with this Hunger Games lunch box.

Are you kidding? The Hunger Games revolves around people struggling in poverty as some teenagers are forced to fight to the death, for God’s sake.

63. Any good Catholic girl should love this Flying Nun lunch box.

From Just Collecting: “Because kids love nuns, right? There is no way any kid in 1968 asked for a lunchbox based on a failing Sally Field religious sitcom. If you were given this lunchbox as a child, your parents were deliberately trying to send you a message. That message was ‘We hate you, and we’re sending you to a convent boarding school.'”

64. This TV lunch box comes with color bars.

These bars were on pre-digital color TVs. And they normally meant the station was off the air.

65. You can’t talk about 1970s by ignoring this disco lunch box.

From Just Collecting: “Disco was originally an underground music scene, born in black and Latino urban gay nightclubs across the U.S and fueled by a heady mix of cocaine and casual sex – the perfect subject for a child’s lunch box.”

66. Who could ever resist this wags n’ whiskers lunch box?

From Westword: “What it says: ‘This dog is obviously being abused, and this kitty is silently pleading you to help, help for the love of god. But you can’t, because it’s my lunchbox.'”

67. Those who remember Hee Haw may enjoy this lunch box.

From Just Collecting: “These giant, leering, middle-aged hillbilly faces were just made to be put on a children’s lunchbox. If you were at school in 1970, having a Hee-Haw lunch box really made a statement. And that statement was: ‘In about 40 year’s time, I’m going to really hate the President.'”

68. This lunch box may contain biohazardous contents.

Indeed, it warns of weird shit happening in there. So open it if you dare.

69. We all eat in a yellow submarine…

Yes, this is a yellow submarine Beatles lunch box. And it’s shaped as such.

70. Any kid in the west would love this McDonald’s lunch box from cactus country.

From Just Collecting: “We’re fairly certain this lunchbox was the inspiration for the Stephen King novel ‘It’. If there was an award for “Creepiest image of a clown most likely to come to life, reach out and try to claw your face off” then this lunchbox would be the world champion. Also, any kids who owned this box were reminded every day that their packed lunches sucked compared to a McDonalds.”

71. Perhaps a Jonathan Livingston Seagull lunch box might suit you.

From Just Collecting: “In 1973 there were two things every kid in America loved – existentialism and sea birds. So Aladdin were on to a winner with their 1973 lunchbox based on the metaphysical novella ‘Jonathan Livingston Seagull’, which had just been turned into a film with a soundtrack by children’s favorite Neil Diamond. A follow-up lunchbox based on ‘Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance’ was sadly cancelled, when it was discovered the company’s creative team had all suffered nervous breakdowns.”

72. Nothing is abominable like this yeti lunch box.

And it atop 2 mountain peaks. Yes, it’s weird but kind of funny.

73. Apparently, some kids might like a clown lunch box.

Okay, these are from Stephen King’s IT depicting Pennywise the Clown. Not something you’d want on a kid’s lunch box.

74. Seems like an image of Fluffy has appeared on toast.

Yes, it’s ridiculous. But I couldn’t avoid this cat in the bread box. I don’t why I find lunch boxes designed like this.

75. Got to catch lunch in this poke ball.

To be fair, it’s from a show involving animals fighting each other. But at least you can store your snacks here.

76. Stack your lunch into this little bread slice.

And it seems this bread slice is happy to oblige. She even wears a pink bow.

77. Nothing makes a lunch box like skull flowers.

Well, a colorful skull flowers. Yeah, I know it’s kind of ridiculous if you ask me.

78. There’s nothing cooler than a taco cat lunch bag.

Yes, it has a cat in a taco. I’m sure it will launch a thousand memes.

79. Apparently, it was the beauty that killed the beast.

Yes, it’s sloth climbing the skyscraper a la King Kong. After all, I posted a similar image for a shower curtain post.

80. Seems like someone has some rainbow shit on their lunch box.

Apparently, the smiling poo emoji is quite popular. And this one is amongst the rainbow.

81. If you want a state of the art picnic lunch, this tote might suit you.

Comes with a napkin and flatware with 3 sections. And only at $30 for some reason.

82. Take a break from the gym with this Nike lunch box.

Because your lunch bag should look no different from your gym bag. Except it’s smaller.

83. Care for a can of chocolate pudding?

This is from The Walking Dead. It’s a zombie show I don’t even watch. So don’t ask me about it.

84. If you like video games, try this Nintendo Gameboy lunch box.

Too bad you can’t play Mario on it. But at least you can keep a sandwich inside.

85. You can always have a nice day with this smiley face lunch box.

Comes with a strap for your shoulder. Still, best put the sandwiches in the bag.

86. Don’t forget to kiss the cook, Pinkman.

Of course, Walter White doesn’t really cook food. His specialty is crystal blue meth.

87. On this lunch bag, you’ll find a dead man on canvas.

Since there’s a coffin surrounding the guy. For he is only a silhouette.

88. A Bob Ross lunch box should have happy little trees.

Yes, it’s another Bob Ross lunch box. But at least this one actually has his famous trees from his Joy of Painting.

89. It’s all elemental in this periodic lunch.

I’m sure it’s for anyone with a hankering for chemistry. And yes, the elements spell what lunch is made of.

90. This R2-D2 lunch bag is at your service.

Because the Rebel Alliance would never have a chance without this ornery little droid. Seriously, he basically saves everyone’s ass.

91. Store your shrooms in this toadstool lunch box.

Great for anyone who doesn’t see the term fungus as an insult. Still, it’s kind of cute.

92. You’ll go back in time with this lunch box.

This from Dr. Who, by the way. Still, hope it doesn’t have any food inside from the past.

93. I’m sure this lunch box is nun too holy.

Yes, it’s another novelty lunch box. I’m sure anyone who went to Catholic school will find it funny.

94. If there’s something strange in the neighborhood, this lunch box will come in handy.

It’s inspired from one of those ghost traps from Ghostbusters. And no, I’m afraid of no ghost.

95. There’s no glorious lunch bag like one with Batman on a unicorn.

He’s even riding on alongside dolphins. Nonetheless, this is just so unlike Batman that it’s hilarious.

96. Sometimes it helps when you can fold out your lunch box.

You’d almost think this was a tray meal. Wouldn’t mind having one of those.

97. You don’t have to guess what’s in this lunch box.

Because it has the contents written on the outside. Yet, each item has a price.

98. Anyone into dark literature will adore this Edgar Allan Poe lunch box.

Though when you’re weak and weary, this will sate you evermore. Also may give you nightmares.

99. This pink monster lunch box is a scream.

Still, it’s kind of silly since it has scary blue eyes and yellow teeth. Yet not exactly in my taste.

100. Even a minion can get hungry sometimes.

This minion lunchbox has containers stacked on each other. Kind of charming in its own way.

Welcome Aboard to the Maritime World of Boats

Posted by historymaniacmegan on July 18, 2018

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Whether to get across a large body of water, fish, or just to cruise around, boats have always been with us. From the small paddle boats to the humongous cruise ships across the ocean, you’ll find plenty of all shapes and sizes. This is especially the case during the summer. At that time you’ll find rowboats, canoes, and kayaks on the rivers, lakes, and streams. While you may see sailboats and yachts on the oceans. Other boats include cargo ships, fishing boats, house boats, barges, tugboats, motorboats, gondolas, and pontoon boats. However, some of these boats you see on the water can be quite unusual these days, which is where I come in. So for your reading pleasure, I give you a treasure trove of boats that’ll make you scratch your heads if you saw them floating by.

Bet you didn’t know a boat can have wings.

It’s actually a hovercraft with glider features. And by the way, they normally can’t fly unlike what you’d see in the Hunger Games.

2. If you’re an old timey spy, this boat might suit you.

It’s an old-fashioned amphibious vehicle. You’ll see a few of these on this post. Yet, this one resembles what you’d see in a 1960s spy movie.

3. You can go far on the water with this sneaker.

Yes, this is a giant shoe boat. And it seems like it has a motor inside it. Need I say more?

4. Now you don’t need to leave the lake if you want to soak into a hot tub.

Sure it’s impossible to make a hot tub time machine. But jacuzzi boats exist which looks quite strange, indeed.

5. Never thought I’d see a pumpkin boat before.

From what I see, I think they have a race involving these enormous pumpkin boats. Wonder what they use to make them so huge. Gamma rays?

6. While hotdogs normally get soggy in water, may I make an exception?

And this one is made of metal while equipped with a motor. Wonder if it serves hotdogs to boat racers.

7. Sometimes you just have to choose an unusual picnic spot.

Though having one on the water is kind of a stretch. But I guess you can always attach logs for buoyancy.

8. A motor boat must always make an impression.

This one is painted in bright red and yellow. So you can see it from miles away.

9. Perhaps a small, sleek, geometric boat might suit you.

Though it’s only available in black. And you most likely can’t afford it.

10. If you want a more naturalistic houseboat, we’ve got you covered.

This one seems to resemble a small cave home. Though I’m sure the rock facade is fake.

11. All you need to make a boat is a motor and a large dining room table.

Well, that seems to work for some reason. But not exactly the ideal boat most people would have in mind.

12. How about a tiki bar on the water?

It’s a pontoon boat with a bar, deck chairs, and artificial grass. You can even try to play golf on it.

13. Need a lift from the lake? This is the boat for you.

Yet, another boat that can fly. This one combines a small motor boat and an ultralight plane.

14. Let’s hope nobody runs into a pirate ship in traffic.

It’s an amphibious pirate ship, all right. But don’t worry, they only rob tractor trailer trucks.

15. When you’re stuck on the river’s shore, a truck bed boat comes in handy.

Indeed, you’ll find quite of few boats people made themselves in this post. This consists of a bed from an old Dodge.

16. Well, never saw a fly that big on the water before.

Well, it’s a large zipper fly. But it runs on water, not on teeth.

17. Ladies and gentlemen, I give you the hamma kayak.

This is one consists of a hammock and a kayak. But unlike most kayaks, it has shade.

18. Perhaps you’d like a small cottage on the water.

It’s just a small house on a barge. Still, it’s rather quaint.

19. This seems to give a fishing boat a whole new meaning.

Well, it’s a literal fish boat. But it’s seems more suited for the winter weather as you can see.

20. Whether on ice or water, best take an Arctic Ant.

It’s also known as a hydrocopter. And it’s a boat suited for adverse conditions as far as I know.

21. Got a shit load of cans? Make a boat out of it.

Though it’ll take a lot of cans. And make sure they’re washed and dried before assembly.

22. Now that’s what I call a recreational vehicle.

Indeed, most people can’t go on the water in an RV. But this is an exception, apparently.

23. Want to fly from the water? Just add wings.

I know this is another boat the flies. But I’m not sure if the wings did the trick in this case.

24. Perhaps you want to ride the waves in comfort.

This one has a couch on a pontoon. And it seems this family is enjoying themselves.

25. Apparently, a giant guitar makes a great floatation device.

This large guitar may not make a great instrument. But it’s perfect for a hipster’s boat trip across the river.

26. You’d find this small boat almost transparent.

And yes, it’s certainly made of plastic. But you can what’s underneath the water on the floor.

27. This boat operates on paddle power.

Seems like it’s a boat with an exercise machine. But the machine powers the boat.

28. With this boat, it’s some assembly required.

It’s a boat kit boat. Includes oars, rudder, and something resembling a motor, apparently.

29. You’ll find this boat out of the blue.

Since it’s mostly blue without it. But I don’t think it blends in the sky.

30. You’d almost assume this boat was folded.

It’s based on Japanese origami design. And I hope it’s not made out of real paper.

31. An amphibious vehicle should always have the right varnish.

It’s a car boat made out of wood. And for some reason actually seems to work.

32. Speaking of amphibious vehicles, this red boat car is state of the art.

Indeed, you probably cant’ afford it. But it’s quite stunning on the water.

33. Care for music on the water?

As you can see, this guy has his instruments all laid out. While his boat is painted in all kinds of colors. Don’t ask if he has weed.

34. A houseboat should always be one’s castle.

However, I don’t think medieval house boats looked like that. Since they’d more likely be made of wood and have sails.

35. I guess this car boat is used for safari tours.

Though it doesn’t seem to offer much protection. Since you can stick your head out the windows.

36. You’d almost think this car boat has Formula 1 caliber.

Since this boat seems to resemble a race car. But it works well in land or on the water.

37. Perhaps you may prefer a fancy wooden ship.

Yet, this seems to take the notion to unrealistic proportions. I mean real wooden ships were never that colorful.

38. Wonder how well you can row a cup.

This is seen as a coffee cup boat. And yes, it includes a saucer.

39. Behold, I give you the Cosmic Muffin.

I know it resembles a space shuttle you’d see on Star Trek. But it’s a boat recycled from a Howard Hughes plane.

40. If you want to stand out, a boat like this might do the trick.

What is that large black thing on the front of it? Is it a loudspeaker? Or something else?

41. You got to pedal hard to move a waterwheel.

Well, it’s a paddle wheel more or less. And there’s really not much room on it either.

42. This Earth Race boat will come in handy for supervillains.

Because it seems exactly like the boat you’d imagine Lex Luthor to have. And yes, it seems rather menacing.

43. If you’re stranded on a deserted island, why I have a boat for you.

It mostly consists of a tent on a sail raft. Then again, in some deserted island situations, this might not be feasible.

44. Perhaps you might want a boat in pink.

Yes, it’s the kind of boat you’d imagine Barbie to have. But this one is life size and way more expensive.

45. Aaaah! Shark!

Don’t worry. it’s just a shark submarine. Still, it looks really cool.

46. I give you the royal swan boat.

While swan boats exist, they’re nothing compared to this boat. Wonder if it’s a ferry.

47. This marlin seems to have a lot to say.

Not sure if I can make out the words. But this fish boat seems to have whimsical quality to it.

48. Hope you can get a load of these fly boats.

These are quite small compared to the other fly boats I’ve shown. Yet, they must be a sight to behold in the sky.

49. Check out this foot print boat across the water.

Of course, this kind of resembles something you’d see from a sci-fi shoe or movie. Yet, it doesn’t impress onlookers.

50. I’m sure you can enjoy a gazebo anywhere.

Well, it’s more like a gazebo house boat. But at least it includes a nice porch to fish from.

51. To keep up with the times, a boat car needs a sleek design.

If it was just a road car, it would’ve been considerably cheaper. Since it seems to resemble a slightly more expensive sedan.

52. Someone’s yacht must come with a glass top.

Yet, another sci-fi looking boat on the water. Seems like one Padme would vacation in on Naboo.

53. Sometimes it helps to rest on the water in style.

This one has a high chair with empty plastic barrels. Would be perfect for any lifeguard.

54. Never thought I’d see a houseboat like this before.

It seems to resemble an actual house with siding. Though it includes 2 decks and ladders.

55. You’d think this house boat came from a junk yard.

Well, it’s made from an old bus and other parts. But you can see how it can fit in a house boat design.

56. This house boat has some rather tropical luxury accommodations.

This one is more suited for island areas near the Equator. But the roof almost makes it seem like it’s somewhat affordable.

57. Where are the sails on this thing?

You have to wonder about that. Still, what are those tall things supposed to be? I can’t even imagine.

58. Perhaps this boat can be a bridge on the waterways.

Heard this is called a Proteus ship. Yet, it’s the kind of boat with its own jet skis, apparently.

59. With this camper, you can have your site on water or land.

Well, that’s one way to make a house boat. Still, don’t forget to have chairs for a patio.

60. Sometimes it helps if you raise the trailer up a bit.

Yet, another redneck house boat. And one that can really use a paint job since it’s quite rusty.

61. A boat of reeds can surely float.

Though it appears rather flammable if you ask me. Still, the figurehead is quite cute.

62. This rowboat operates on solar power.

You’d think she wouldn’t need oars for a solar powered boat. But you’d be wrong.

63. May I give you the Sea Shadow.

This is supposed to be the naval equivalent to a stealth plane. Though it seems like the kind of boat you’d imagine Darth Vader using.

64. Oh, my God, it’s a Orca on the shore!

Actually it’s an orca submarine. And yes, it can jump out of the water.

65. This boat runs with the sun.

And yet, this boat is made by the genius company behind the Gulf of Mexico oil spill. And that is why I oppose offshore oil drilling.

66. Looks like these settlers decided to row across the river.

Sadly, after their crossing, Brad would later fall ill and die of dysentery. He will be missed.

67. I dub thee the HMS Wooden Subby.

Yes, it’s supposed to be a wooden submarine. But no, I don’t think it was present during the Battle of Trafalgar.

68. You’d almost think someone was living inside a nut.

It’s actually a weirdly designed houseboat. And yes. it even has a window.

69. This boat seems to have a rather Dutch disposition.

It’s a clog boat with tulips painted on it. Must’ve been made in the Netherlands.

70. This gives a whole new meaning to the word, “duck boat.”

It’s a boat resembling a duck. But please don’t pay attention to the windows and marks on it.

71. A boat will ride like the wind with a wind turbine.

Though it may not travel very far. But it does have a homespun look to it.

72. Perhaps a modern windmill boat may suit you.

And this one is mainly used as a sail. And yet, sticks out like a sore eye.

73. A wooden boat should always be one of good taste.

This one even has 2 decks and a porch. Yet, it’s best not to leave any fires on it alone for too long.

74. Perhaps a simple wooden boat will suit your fancy.

This one even has wooden cabins and windows. Quaint for relaxing on a Sunday afternoon.

75. I almost thought it was a cruise ship.

It’s actually a small boat that can only fit one guy. Yet, it’s quite lovely to look at.

76. Behold, the Nautlimo.

It’s a pink limo on the water. So you can travel on the river in style.

77. You’d almost think it’s a canned truck.

This one has a pink cross on the side. Not to mention, it has tires to act as wheels on the water.

78. Care to cruise in a muscle car?

It’s a 1950’s style car boat. And you can drive it on land or water.

79. Got a bike with large tires? Make a boat out of it.

You’ll have to row it. But you can rest your head on the rubber and paint the flowers on the tires.

80. Children would love a treehouse on the river.

Yes, they seem quite happy. Yet, I wonder what the tree house could fit in.

81. Got plastic bottles? Make a boat out of them.

Well, at least these people made something constructive out of this junk. And I’m sure it’ll last for years.

82. Boat or a resort home?

It’s more of a yacht that has a house on top. Includes trees and a deck.

83. You can’t have a well-dressed boat without curtain.

And yes, the curtains are on the top. What they’re used for, I don’t know.

84. A fancy boat should always include windows.

Yes, it does resemble a piece of bad architecture. But it’s a sleek metal boat from Russia.

85. Wouldn’t you want to fish in comfort?

This one has a comfy chair on a barrel barge. But someone has their fishing rods on the edge.

86. Don’t like scuba diving but like to see what’s underwater? This EGO Submarine boat is for you.

This is a personal-semi-submarine. Expensive but quite cool to look at.

87. “We all live in a yellow submarine…”

When I saw one of these in Google Images, I had to include it. Ironically, it’s in Liverpool.

88. Anyone would flip over this dolphin submarine.

Though I wonder how big it is compared to a dolphin. Still, looks kind of cool.

89. So I guess there’s a biblical flood looming.

Don’t worry, it’s some Dutch guy’s replica of Noah’s Ark. Sadly it doesn’t have any unicorns.

90. Even you can put solar panels on your boat.

And yes, they’re well suited for powering boats, too. Though the sun isn’t as effective as gasoline.

91. You’d find this wooden house boat quite charming.

Well, it’s rather small. But includes a deck, ladder, and windows.

92. Now you can have your own Viking long ship.

I know it’s kind of a home made attempt. Still, I hope the monastery nearby has a high tech security system.

93. You can go anywhere on the water in this red boat.

It’s of redneck design by the way. Though it almost seems like someone spent a fortune on it.

94. You’d almost mistake this boat for the Magic School Bus.

It’s actually a duck boat from London. And no, it can’t shrink and travel through your body.

95. Bet you can’t go across the river in a hydrocopter.

This one has blades on the bottom to move it along. But only room for a few.

96. Oh, no, the ship’s sinking! We’re sinking!

Actually, the boat was designed that way. The guy’s fine.

97. You’d think this house boat was futuristic.

It’s actually made from an old camper. And I don’t think it’s for sale.

98. This boat makes for a whale of a tale.

It’s a whale boat, get it. Nonetheless, it’s quite huge if you ask me.

99. Sometimes a simple boat house will do.

This is a pre-fab boat house. And it’s ultramodern as well as not quite fancy.

100. Looking at this boat, you’d wonder if your eyes hurt.

This one is painted in a bizarre pattern. Still, I’m sure onlookers would complain.

The World According to Stock Photography

Posted by historymaniacmegan on June 20, 2018

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While much of my blog has been filled with posts teeming with outrage over what my country has become since President Pussy-Grabber was sworn in to encouraging ICE to separate families at the border and putting children in cages, tent cities, and concentration camps, we should try to maintain our sanity with some fun now and then. No matter how hard it might seem to be. Nonetheless, like Lord Hamsterhair Cheetohead lately, stock photography is everywhere since it consists of photographs that can be licensed for public or commercial use. Whether used in marketing, advertising, or design as long as it’s not illegal or harmful, many graphic designers, web designers, and other professionals frequently take advantage of stock images to fill their design needs. Anyway, most often you’ll find stock photos on professional websites and greeting cards. In fact, it’s a whole industry which started in the 1920s as a way for professional photographers to market outtakes from commercial photo shoots. But many pro photographers today take photos exclusively for stock purposes since a large portfolio can earn a considerable amount of money each month from selling their images through a photography website. Even if the photographer doesn’t add new photos on a regular basis. Still, they have a reputation for being notoriously cheesy and generic with bland happy faces in their diverse workplaces of harmony and in their seemingly perfect but bland families. But there are some stock photos that are too ridiculous to explain or don’t seem to have any applicable purpose whatsoever. So for your reading pleasure, I give you an assortment of crazy stock photos. By the way, some of these might not be safe for work.

“Do you know how to work this thing?”

I’m sure these guys have no idea to function as a news crew. Or they’re just goofing off.

2. Anyone can be a princess.

However, this guy seems to be really pushing the envelope. Still, he rocks the red sash.

3. So what do they call if you cross a dog and a frog?

Yes, I know it’s photoshopped. But you have to wonder about the mad scientist who’d create this freak of nature.

4. It’s been said his brains are made of noodles.

Granted, I love pasta and noodles. But this isn’t the kind candlelight dinner I’d want to participate in.

5. Not all snails travel at a snail’s pace.

This one practically gallops. Oh, wait, why does this one have legs?

6. Apparently, The Shape of Water didn’t get a stellar reception on a small budget.

This is why using CGI is important. Because simply kissing a fish is just ridiculous.

7. There are centaurs and there are these.

Somehow a horse head with a human lower body doesn’t look so good. And I think the centaur would agree with me.

8. Some chick just got puffed.

Guess someone decided to get a large blue fro. The other can’t help but stare.

9. Apparently, Swamp Thing decided to leave the swamp and get a regular job.

Though he’s got a tendency to track in leaves now and then. Here you see him fetching a file.

10. When you’ve been in a car wreck but the boss insists you show up for work on Monday.

Yeah, you can’t really do your office job after you’ve been injured in a number of places. But I guess his workplace doesn’t have paid sick leave.

11. When you’re robbing the place and want to show some color.

From Outbound: “A jaunty cravat makes any robbery a special occasion.” And here he’s stealing a hard drive.

12. Bertha always saw herself as a queen.

She’s even wearing a pink dress and a tiara. But she thinks she looks fabulous.

13. This astronaut has a flight to catch in space.

I see he’s got his luggage with him since he can’t do his laundry at the ISS. Still, why is he wearing a space suit?

14. It’s nice that Jerry has decided to make dinner tonight.

Heard his secret sauce is from an old family recipe. It’s said to include a tablespoon of arsenic, a teaspoon of strychnine, and just a pinch of cyanide.

15. This dog breed is known as a Jacques Rousseau Terriere.

He’s easy to distinguish from the Jack Russell with his curly mustache, his taste in French bread and wine, and his penchant for berets, paintings, and arthouse films. And he doesn’t care for pretentious cheap dog food either.

16. Apparently, the mime has just managed to escape from the jaws of death.

And by “jaws” I mean large chomping mouth of teeth you’d find at a dentist’s office. Doesn’t seem thrilling does it?

17. Seems like this chimp is quite the chatterbox.

“And then I told him, ‘Dude, chill down. It’s not worth flinging your poo over.'”

18. Didn’t know you could play frisbee with your pet turtle.

Apparently, they’re really great at playing fetch for some reason. Don’t really see why since they move like, well, turtles.

19. Wonder how many pictures did they take of him?

Even this kid is baffled. And he sat for the other pictures.

20. Her face is a little cracked.

Let’s hope that her delicate eggshell face cracks don’t lead anything to spill over. Because that would really make a mess.

21. Wearing a watermelon helmet changes everything.

This is especially when you’re wearing goggles and stick your tongue out. Wonder if he’s high on life.

22. And now, a stop-motion version of Romeo and Juliet by director Wes Anderson.

Yes, it consists of two people wearing animal masks and dressed in hipster clothing. Don’t think this will go well for Wes. Unless he casts Owen Wilson as Friar Lawrence.

23. With romantic dinners, there are just some foods you shouldn’t make out with.

Sharing a kiss during a romantic dinner a la Lady and the Tramp is romantic. Sharing a kiss during a chicken dinner is just plain disgusting.

24. Crazy Larry will clean your car and keep it nice and polished.

But don’t you leave anything in it. Or else he’ll take it and pawn it off for some extra cash to support his meth habit. He’s also had an infamous reputation with the ladies and a record of sexual misconduct.

25. During desert nights, beware of the fierce and dreaded cattysnake.

Known to hang around pumpkin patches for some reason. But while they may be cuddly, their bites are deadly.

26. “Take that, you pathetic puppy!”

I kind of feel bad for the dog here. I mean how is anyone going to take him seriously after getting the crap beat out of him by a guy in a banana costume?

27. When your baking has caused your stove to burst into flames but you don’t have a care in the world.

The smoke detector is on the fritz like crazy. But instead of getting the fire extinguisher or calling the fire department, he’s watching the stove burn with a glass of wine.

28. Want to eat a slice of bread with nails?

Of course, you want to eat that. Because you’d find swallowing all those nails as painful as hell.

29. You’re never too old to have fun.

Since when do they have rocking horses in adult size? And since when do old men enjoy going on horsey rides?

30. When you just have to get that last selfie while your friend is about to be burned for a human sacrifice.

“I know you’ll be burned to death, Kyle. But for now, let’s remember the good times before I get the hell out of here.”

31. “Greg, I don’t think you get the meaning of ‘Casual Friday.'”

I mean he’s showed up with messy hair and no shirt. And I’m not sure if he’s even wearing pants or shoes.

32. “Ahhh, grass!”

Yes, she enjoys lying in the grass. Then again, she could be murdered in the middle of nowhere.

33. “Wanna see my pineapple dance?”

Funny, how that one pineapple is conveniently placed in her crotch region. Not to mention, she’s wearing a winter hat.

34. When you’re in a tender embrace with your significant other but are considering other options.

Indeed, they’re hugging each other while checking their phones. Guess that’s modern dating nowadays.

35. “Help! I’m trapped in a jar with exclamation points!”

And I guess she’s trying to figure her way out of there. Though she might be running out of ideas.

36. “Answer the question or I’ll shoot!”

Not exactly the best way to deal with the big questions. Shoot first never works well.

37. “It’s a bird, it’s a plane, it’s Business Man!”

Flying in the air faster than a speeding printer and more powerful than a server filled with memoranda. Flying through the sea of finance and willing to save the day from a calamitous paper jam.

38. Presented The Bachelor: Equine Edition.

Watch a bunch of mares compete for the heart of this dashing stallion at this lavish stable. Or as it’s better known: Study Duty.

39. Since she was a little girl, this demonic goblin had a dream to dance.

Here she does her Black Swan dance for the Transylvania Ballet Theater. Graceful isn’t she? Wonder if she’d do well with Gollum.

40. Ever heard of Wendy of Wendy’s? Turns out she has a brother named Wendell.

He’s a certified public accountant at some firm in Cedar Rapids. They don’t talk about him much.

41. “If we should go down, we’ll die together.”

For God’s sake, the two have guns pointed at each other? You can guess they’re going to blow each other’s brains out eventually.

42. A well-dressed mouse should always stand for a portrait.

Though why she has human hands, I have no idea. Though she strikes a regal pose.

43. If you can’t get Bill Nye the Science Guy, here’s Lab Guy Larry.

He’s kind of a poor man’s Bill Nye. Except way more careless and prone to bites from skeletons.

44. This nun seeks prayer and meditation under the sea.

Don’t know how she can be underwater without scuba gear. Not to mention, look serene in that heavy habit.

45. This pampered pooch always has to shop till she drops.

Carrie Pawpaws just has to have those designer dog collars. Not to mention, those fine rawhide bones and squeaky toys.

46. After a career terrorizing Gotham City, the Joker decided to work for Wayne Enterprises as an accountant.

Now whenever he wants to terrorize Gotham, he just embezzles money and commits insider trading. Because white-collar criminals seldom get punished.

47. Open wide for this puffer fish.

Uh, those fish are actually poisonous. So trying to eat one like that is a very easy way to die. But this woman doesn’t get the memo.

48. This boxer has become the reigning champion of his sister’s bedroom.

Or he might just have a girly taste in decorating. You never know. But he doesn’t seem bothered by it either way.

49. Some days you just need to relax with some Post-It Notes.

Notice she has nothing written on them. But she doesn’t give a damn since she’s in her happy place.

50. When you find out that your longtime crush is in a relationship on social media.

Indeed, she feels dead inside. But she can’t really look away. I know she’s getting carried away. Yet, get her time.

51. “Thank God, I saved the crucial paperwork!”

Still, when you’re out in the water, saving the paperwork is the least of your worries. For God’s sake, you’re better off trying to find dry land.

52. “Now, class, when I ring the bell, settle down and I’ll give you candy.”

Not sure if employing Pavlov’s techniques will help. This especially goes if they’re in high school.

53. “Sit down, class, let’s get busy on those physics problems.”

If I had a teacher like that in school, I’d suspect I was in a porno. And that one of my classmates was about to fall victim to statutory rape. Then again, it’s best not to judge by appearances. But come on, would any school let a teacher dress like that?

54. “Sit down, kids, it’s time to learn.”

I guess you won’t have a good time in this guy’s class. Behave or he’ll introduce you to his friend, Mr. Longstick.

55. In the future, people will spend hours marveling and contemplating on corn.

Now I know where that family got their idea for their crazy futuristic corn people Christmas card. Didn’t know it was from a stock photo that made no sense.

56. “All right, don’t move! This is a raid!”

Man, armed robbers and murderers really do start young these days. Also, don’t mind the hand above. My guess is that person is dead.

57. You’ll always have a good time in a string quartet.

Yeah, I don’t think it’s like Sex and the City with stringed instruments and old timey costumes. Yeah, I know it’s really crazy.

58. When it rains, she barely touches the chair.

This stock photo was brought to you by the power and imagination that comes with brown acid. Because someone must’ve been tripping balls to come up with this photo idea.

59. “Paint me like one of your French girls.”

Maybe he should take off his clothes first. Then again, it would still be kind of silly. Except if he had rock hard abs. But I can’t imagine that.

60. For some reason those trapped in jars will either panic or try to get out.

The businessman is especially panicky. The construction worker’s just scaling the walls.

61. I’m positive she’s going out with a bang.

Because that’s what happens when you light a dynamite stick with a cigarette. It’s sure to be explosive.

62. “Oh, shit, I’ve burned the chicken!”

Yet, she’s not wearing oven mitts. While smoke is coming out of the oven.

63. Walk on the moon? That’s so 1969.

So this astronaut has decided to bike on the moon. Not sure if the tires will retain air in the vacuum of space.

64. This Christmas Santa is ditching his sleigh and reindeer for a magic jet.

Because he needs a more efficient way to deliver all those presents on one night. Unfortunately, Rudolph and the other reindeer may not see it that way.

65. Is there a fire? Call the fire lizard.

Well, maybe if the fire is confined to a small tree. Comes complete with his red hat and fire extinguisher.

66. Don’t have a defibrillator? A pair of irons will do.

Still, he seems very excited to use them on his patient. Kind has crazy eyes and a weird smile. This doesn’t look good.

67. Introducing Captain Waggles of the U.S.S. Doggypaddle.

Here he is with a lifejacket and fingers up. Wait a minute, dogs don’t have fingers.

68. It’s said those who live in glass houses shouldn’t throw stones.

And that people who work in glass offices with glass dividers shouldn’t have sex on the job. Let’s hope neither are married with families.

69. When you’re a TV, it’s always dinner for one.

And I see she’s looking at a TV screen. Kind of twisted if you ask me.

70. Didn’t know that farts can leave a cloud of gas.

And it’s drifting to the flowers. Well, at least we aren’t around when the cheese was cut.

71. “Hello, darkness, my old friend….”

Yet, he lies in his bed on a sheet cake which will get his face covered in icing. But he’s laying awake in existential dread and loneliness.

72. When you’re in the buff and you need to feed your cat.

Notice how the fridge door is conveniently placed over him. Just so he can give his cat some meat.

73. “Okay, let’s put our helmets together.”

Yet, they’re clad in high heels and dresses. Not exactly what you’d wear on a motorcycle.

74. Chipmunks like to get it on at the copier.

Don’t know about you. But I’ve got a feeling those at the office will be seeing some chipmunk porn sometime in the near future.

75. Today’s Special: Head.

And she’s in a styrofoam tray covered in plastic wrap. Just like meat at the grocery store.

76. Seems like her lower body isn’t attached to the rest of her.

Yet, she seems to awe at that after the magician sawed her in half. Unfortunately, he couldn’t put her back together.

77. “Excuse me, you dirty whore, but that’s my boyfriend you’re fucking.”

The guy’s like, “Honey, you’re early. Nancy and I were just having a discussion on….adoptions.”

78. Sometimes you can type what you want from the screen.

And the cat’s just staring dumbfounded at the screen. Like it must’ve accidentally drank a milk dish with acid.

79. “Wanna share a cold one with me on the road?”

This guy’s getting so busted if police pull him over. Because drunk driving is dangerous and has killed people.

80. If you want to keep your kids safe on the internet.

My mistake. If you see your kid in night-vision goggles and a tinfoil hat, you best send your kid to a therapist. Otherwise, he might grow up into a full-blown conspiracy theorist like Alex Jones.

81. This guy really wants to see what’s in this laptop.

On the bright side, at least he can’t steal your online data. Only commit deliberate physical sabotage.

82. Behind a dumpster in an alley, an astronaut seeks a horse genie.

The genie grants the spaceman 3 wishes in exchange for a lifetime supply of hay and sugar cubes. Also it shits gold.

83. Someone’s in deep denial on their baldness.

Since he’s using a comb that he doesn’t need. Because he already shaves his head.

84. “All right, Eileen, let’s settle this with an umbrella fight on the roof.”

However, they’re attempting a showdown during a thunderstorm. Not the smartest thing to do, especially if lightning strikes one of them.

85. Here’s the new face of Wall Street Finance with an office at Suite 666.

Still, ladies, I’d stay away from that guy if I were you. Since his looks could kill while his demonic eyes show he’s up to no good.

86. “Jason, I didn’t know your dick was that huge!”

Please don’t tell me that guys look at each other’s dicks in the men’s room. Because I don’t know what to make of this photo.

87. You’d almost swear he takes after his father.

The resemblance is so uncanny. Maybe because they photoshopped the dad’s face to the son.

88. This takes getting canned to a whole new level.

Having to work in a trash can must really suck. But this guy’s taking it in stride.

89. Harry Potter and the Philosopher’s Malware.

Apparently, wizards can now use and repair computers. While Harry’s not hunting dark wizards, he’s working part-time as an IT guy at the Ministry of Magic.

90. When you have to return to work from a business summit at a nudist colony.

Yeah, that has to be embarrassing. And he only has a briefcase to cover his genitals. Too bad everyone else will see his butt.

91. “Come on, y’all! Let’s take the tennis court back from the jocks!”

With a tennis racket in one and an AR-15 in the other, Bridget leads the punk tennis revolution. It was a glorious moment for goths, punks, and emos everywhere.

92. At the office some men may deflate and lose their spines.

And here is a 100% accurate depiction of a Republican Congressman in Trump’s America. If you’re represented by one, it’s time to vote them out of office in November.

93. Ever have to be deep in thought against a toilet in the middle of the desert?

From Bored Panda: “This is the state of mind one enters at 3am after having crawled home from that awesome night out, spent the last half hour hugging the bowl, then suddenly you become the universe, the whole universe and everything in it.”

94. “Help! I’ve fallen and I can’t get up!”

Where’s Life Alert where you need it? Also, Grandma’s not coming to Christmas this year.

95. “Must sniff donut sugar..”

Seems like someone has a problem with white powder donuts. Someone better give her an intervention.

96. Old people enjoy their retirement with a gun over a rabbit that’s cared for life.

It’s only a matter of time until they get the gun back together and shoot the rabbit dead. So run, bunny, run! Or it’s kill the rabbit and rabbit stew.

97. The Lord taketh, the Lord poseth for selfie.

I can’t even list all the things wrong with this. Also, can I see a selfie of Jesus with his disciples at the Last Supper?

98. Now you can surf the net while riding the waves.

Still, I don’t think he’ll fare so well when he has to ride the big wave. But at least he’s sent his 3rd quarter expense reports.

99. “Just one more picture before we shut the trunk for our escape.”

Luckily for Marvin, his kidnappers were dumb enough to post a photo of a him in a trunk and brag about abducting him on social media. So police will find him and bring him home in no time.

100. When you’re baking cookies while trying to survive the fallout from the apocalypse.

Though the cookies might be a bit radioactive. But sometimes that’s a risk you must be willing to take in the bunker.

The Inside World of Furniture

Posted by historymaniacmegan on September 14, 2017

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Whether you need to sit, eat, put stuff away, set stuff down, work, sleep, or go to Narnia, then furniture is absolutely essential for your day to day living. After all, without furniture, we’d just carry on our daily lives in empty rooms with only the floor to conduct our activities on, which is neither comfortable or practical. Even our Neolithic cave dwelling ancestors couldn’t live without furniture 30,000 years ago and they survived without agriculture. Sure the earliest furniture pieces were made from wood, bone, and stone, and no Stone Age pieces exist. But they did depict figures in chairs, according to archaeological evidence. The Neolithic village of Skara Brae in Scotland’s Orkney Islands contains some of the oldest surviving furniture with each house equipped with stone cupboards, beds, dressers, shelves, seats, and even limpet tanks. If they had stone electronics, appliances, and foot motion cars, you’d almost think these people lived like the Flintstones. More complex techniques such as joinery first appear in the early dynastic period of Ancient Egypt with mostly wooden pieces, some decorated precious metals and ivory. Ancient Greece and Rome followed suit with the klinai, a multipurpose couch you can eat, relax, and sleep in. Go into a furniture store today and you’ll find all kinds of styles and in many materials. Home furniture usually consists of wood and upholstery (save for beds which can be wood or metal). Office furniture is normally composed of metal and plastic. Then there’s IKEA furniture which can be made from anything though you’d have to put it together yourself. Still, as with anything else, you’ll find some odd pieces here and there which is where I come in. So for your reading pleasure, I give you an assortment of unique furniture you wouldn’t find in a store, including IKEA. Enjoy.

How about a chair that branches out?

Sure it looks as if it was cut off straight from a tree with its bark shaved off. But come on, do you think it was really made that way?

2. May you have a seat in this little teacup.

It’s a teacup chair you can sit in. The handle is on top. Wonder if you can lift it like that. Maybe if you’re a giant.

3. You might have a swinging good time if you sat at this table during a meeting.

Yes, it sure looks fun since the chairs are all swings. And the swings are in all different colors.

4. A strung up bed doesn’t touch the floor.

However, don’t weigh it down much that the ropes snap. Though the look quite delicate to me in this picture.

5. Now your little girl can have her own loft bed and playhouse.

Resembles a quaint little cottage. Has a bed on top and some cushions on the bottom.

6. This china cabinet appears slightly askew.

Well, it certainly has a strong personality. Though it was carved slightly lopsided like that.

7. This couch comes with some extra padding.

Just rest your back on the cushions on this one. Maybe that’s a little high for a couch.

8. A hotdog couch is perfect for any indoor barbecue.

Comprises of a bun couch with a hotdog cushion along with tomato and cucumber slice pillows. Great tasty fun if you want to kick back and relax.

9. Finally a mattress specifically made for any sleeper’s needs.

Okay, maybe not since it’s in the form of a side sleeper. But you’d have to admire the creativity on this.

10. No living room is complete without an overhead bookcase.

Includes a ladder you can use to find books and lights to read them. You can even put houseplants on top.

11. Check out this flowery chair.

Kind of resembles a morning glory. Wonder what sitting on it feels like.

12. Seems like someone had an accident on this table.

Actually, that spill is made from wood attached to it. But yes, it certainly seems like a mess.

13. How about you kick back and relax in this burger chair?

Includes a bun frame, a burger cushion, and pickle and tomato slice pillows. Goes with the hotdog couch.

14. Perhaps you can make your own bathroom shelf.

This is hung from a towel rack with shower hooks. Yet, holds what you need.

15. For young recruits, boot camp starts at an early age.

If your son likes Vietnam War movies, this is the bed for him. Even has a ladder, porch, and slide.

16. Not sure whether to call this flowery or geometric.

Sure it has a flowery shape on the top. But its stand is a silver ring.

17. Try solving this Rubik’s Cube.

Actually you can’t since the jumbled blocks have drawers. But you can put your clothes in it.

18. You’d think this chair was all folded.

Well, at least the fabric is. Not sure how you can sit on this one.

19. A cabinet like this can make a rather interesting conversation piece.

Yes, it doesn’t look very practical. Unless you live on Middle Earth. Though it’s quite interesting to see that I couldn’t ignore it.

20. You might find your inner piece in this chair.

Yes, it’s in an Indian style. And yes, it has human legs and hands. Not sure what the hand signs stand for.

21. Someone must’ve recycled some very large guitar to make this table.

Actually that’s not the case. But if you have a rocking living room, it’s a must have.

22. How about a cassette coffee table in your living room?

For my younger viewers, before we had CDs and MP3 players, we used to listen to music on these things. Ask anyone who grew up during the 1980s and 1990s.

23. You’d almost think this table was made from work shop scraps.

And in a way it seems to be. But it does make a wonderful art piece, doesn’t it? Also got a lot of legs.

24. There’s nothing more cozy than a nest bed.

Basically consists of a bird’s nest frame with pillows resembling eggs. Makes you want to go straight to sleep.

25. In this bed, your little one can now sleep in a box.

Even has some openings to get in and out as well as a couple of windows. Also has wallpaper inside.

26. A large hollow tree trunk should make adequate chair arms.

Okay, they’re kind of assembled. But they certainly seem fit for a rustic cabin or lodge.

27. You’ll find this couch a bit up a wall, so to speak.

Yes, it’s a couch. Sure it you may not be able to sit on one of its sides. But it’s a couch.

28. I now introduce you to the ultimate book lover’s chair.

It’s practically surrounded by books on the edges. So you can spend hours reading Harry Potter.

29. If you love bacon, then you can’t resist having this for a breakfast table.

Not sure why they have to have bacon stuff. But at least it doesn’t smell like it. I hope.

30. You can easily roll up this chair any time.

Yes, it resembles Dr. Seuss patio furniture. But it’ll certainly look great anywhere.

31. You’d almost be on hand and foot in this chair.

It’s a wooden chair with a hand seat and a foot stand. Great for Halloween. Too creepy for anything else.

32. You’ll have books all around on this chair.

At least it has all your books where you want them. It’s a book lover’s dream.

33. You’d almost think this table was dripping.

You’d almost think it was made from paint. But that’s actually plastic.

34. Any kid would certainly monkey around in this jungle bunk bed.

Includes a house, a ladder, and trees. Bet the little monkey goes on the top.

35. You can always hang around in a hammock on the porch.

You can even have all your friends on this hammock couch if you want to. But hope the ropes don’t snap.

36. Any evil overlord would die for this wicked chair.

Yes, it’s certainly a throne a villain would love. Still, got to like the spikes.

37. You can always cuddle up in a baked potato bean bag chair.

It’s even filled with sour cream and chives. The butter pillow is great.

38. This playhouse bed is a little girl’s dream.

Sure it’s another playhouse bed. But it’s in vibrant colors as well as has shutters and stairs.

39. This armchair is all wiry.

I don’t think this chair is made for sitting. Looks too delicate and uncomfortable.

40. You’d almost think this chair sprouted from the ground.

It’s supposed to look that way. But come on, no tree grows like that.

41. This chair is all legs.

I know what you’re thinking. And yes, it’s sick. The high heels really don’t help.

42. In this bed you can wake up in the trees.

Makes you feel like you’re in an enchanted forest. Even if it’s just your bedroom. But at least you’ll run no risk of contracting Lyme Disease.

43. For patio furniture, may I recommend a grassy couch?

Though you might not want to sit on it in the morning. Or after it rains. Or at night. Or after mowing the lawn.

44. Hope this couch can give you a hand.

Okay, the couch consists of large hand cushions. Yes, it’s creepy and the color is atrocious. But it’s unique so it goes on the post.

45. A scorpion chair will always impress.

I’m sure this is a perfect armchair for a supervillain. Looks really sinister.

46. A car front table is stylish for any retro living room.

There’s a line of furniture made out of car parts. This uses the front of a Rolls Royce.

47. Bet you’ve never seen this rocking chair.

It’s a rocking chair wheel. More of a modern concept design. Yeah, I know. Doesn’t look quite right.

48. This bench is getting really unraveled.

Yes, it’s an art piece. Because of course, you wouldn’t sit on the thing. If you saw a bench like this in a park, you’d wonder if you’re on acid.

49. You’d almost think this chair was full of spikes.

Not a chair you’d want at your dinner table. But very interesting to see nonetheless.

50. You’d almost think this dresser was her friend.

Sure it can only hold her things. But it’s nevertheless adorable with its arms and legs. Wait a minute.

51. You’ll totally rave about this woolen stool.

Well, it’s a ball of yarn with legs that’s a stool. Keep it away from cats.

52. An office should always have desk that’s a fish tank.

Great for waiting rooms, especially dental offices. Then again, maybe not.

53. You’d be amazed with this rose on this chair back.

Though I’m not sure if that would fit in my living room. But the red rose is incredibly gorgeous.

54. This wicker couch will give you wonderful shade outdoors.

Wouldn’t mind having this in my patio. Yet, the top has a giant wooden spike.

55. This dragon throne would make anyone look like a badass.

Game of Thrones fans must be reeling at this one. Perfect for any Mother of Dragons.

56. This red car desk is a real show on the road.

Perfect for any mechanic’s office or auto dealership. I’m sure anyone would like the shiny red hood.

57. Heard of a VW microbus? How about a VW pool table?

Though it kind of looks pretty lame so to speak. Also, I’m not a fan of pool either.

58. You’d feel you fall asleep in the forest in this bed.

Well, it’s more of a fantasy scape. But it has a large trunk at the base with lily pad steps.

59. You can never take your eyes off this rosy chair.

Has a green frame and rose cushions with leafy arms. So pretty.

60. How about a couch with its own lights?

Yes, it’s a rather weird design. But a reader will surely enjoy it. If they’re not keen on aesthetics.

61. If you like swimming with the sharks, you might want this bed.

Well, it has the shark on the bottom. Sure it looks awesome. But is probably expensive as hell.

62. A cutlery chair is perfect for any dining room.

Has a spoon seat and a fork back. Goes with a plate table with knife legs.

63. Any car girl would adore a pink Cadillac bed.

Yes, you’re a fan of Grease, you will want this bed. Though it’s not meant for beauty school dropouts.

64. This is a horned throne that Satan could love.

Yes, you can totally see Satan sitting on this nice leather chair in the fiery ravages of Hell. After all, the horns are especially quite wicked.

65. Any outdoorsy kid would relish in sleeping under a tent.

But at least you don’t have to brave the elements, animals, or the mosquitoes. Has a shade opening and white balls hanging from the roof.

66. Any little girl would enjoy sleeping in this quaint cottage.

Yes, it’s another playhouse bed. But it has drawer steps and flower baskets. So pretty.

67. Sit in this chair and you’ll have a library on the side.

Well, the shelf is on the side. And the chair looks really comfy.

68. A Swan Princess just has to sleep in this swan bed.

I actually saw this one at Maymont a couple years ago. There’s also a vanity and chair made out of narwhal horn.

69. I’m sure some people fantasize sleeping in the bed of a truck.

Okay, it’s a truck bed you can sleep in. But at least you don’t have to worry about rolling over.

70. Perhaps you can sit and rest easy in this wooden hanger chair.

You’d almost think this would be appropriate for a chiropractor’s office. Yes, hangers can certainly pass for vertabrae.

71. Seems like this bookcase is a bit lopsided.

Don’t worry, it was constructed that way. Also, it has legs to keep it standing.

72. Outside you can seat yourself on a moss covered stool.

Then again, it could be grass. Don’t know the difference between the two sometimes.

73. You can really spell it out on these Scrabble couches.

Like how the tiles are pillows. And each couch resembles a tile slot.

74. Apparently, this vanity really wants to make an impression.

Has a rather whimsical quality to it. Like how they used books balance the legs.

75. A real snake would surely enjoy this cobra chair.

I’m sure you’d find this at Uncle Monty’s place. Too bad he died to the dismay of the Baudelaire orphans in The Reptile Room.

76. How about a car sofa for two?

Seems like it’s a Volkswagen bug with two seats. And yes, it’s attached to the wall.

77. You can have a colorful chair with pom poms.

Well, certainly makes a colorful addition. Wouldn’t mind having this in my house.

78. You’d always find your type with these kinds of stools.

Yes, it’s set up like a typewriter. But you won’t see any letters on the brick wall if you sit on them.

79. Keep your books neat and tidy on this teacup shelf.

Each shelf is a teacup stacked on another. A cute addition for any little girl’s room.

80. This looks like a job for Bookman!

Yes, it’s a bookshelf guy. Not sure how I could put it in a living room.

81. You can feel like royalty sitting in this zebra throne.

Aren’t zebras supposed to be endangered? Then again, this is probably an old chair. Like the plume.

82. Someone must’ve done something to this chest of drawers.

Actually, it’s designed that way as an art piece. So you can’t put your clothes in it.

83. Any Gladiator fan would want to sit on this Coliseum seat.

Okay, it looks pretty cheap as an Ancient Roman merch rip off. But it sure appears comfy.

84. This chaise seems to have a whole world spilling from it.

Wouldn’t want to be one of the tiny people living on this piece. Though it’s pretty impressive.

85. Perhaps you might want fries with this bed.

Well, this consist of fry pillows you can put in the back. Though I don’t think they’re very comfortable.

86. You can hold lots of things on this tree shelf.

Sure it may not hold a lot of stuff. But it certainly has a whimsical quality to it.

87. You can have lots of fun in this book bed.

Well, the bed is on one side. The drawing figures are on the other below the comforter.

88. You can have your own table without legs.

Resembles a floating table you’d find at a haunted house. Great for Halloween.

89. You’d think this bed is a real rollercoaster.

Yes, this is a long bed. Not sure how you sleep on it. Not sure if I want to know.

90. A little princess has to sleep in her own fairy tale castle.

Sure it’s all pretty in pink. But what little princess wouldn’t want to it in their castle?

91. You’d almost think these chairs are part of the table.

I’m sure this is more of an art piece than actual furniture. But somehow I just want to sit on one of the chairs to see what it’s like.

92. Check out the feet on this bedside table.

Now that’s tacky as hell. I mean why should its feet consist of feet in high heeled shoes? Why?

93. You’d almost think a beaver did a number on this chest of drawers.

Don’t worry. It’s an art piece. But this little girl loves posing with it.

94. There are no bones about this skeletal chair.

Weird how they have skulls on the seat. Perfect for Halloween but incredibly creepy.

95. You might just turn a new leaf in this chair.

Seems like a chair you’d put in a daycare center. But it certainly has its charm.

96. There’s nothing more romantic like sleeping on a gondola.

So it’s a gondola couch but same rule applies. Even has its own umbrella.

97. These dining chairs are always together.

After all, they’re a couple at a fancy dress ball. And no, you can’t sit on them.

98. You’d definitely find these chairs quite eggscellent.

Yes, these are egg chairs. And no you can’t scramble them and sit on them over easy. Egg tables included.

99. Kick back your feet on this ice cream sandwich ottoman.

At least it won’t melt when it gets warm. Also, has fine cushioning for your desires.

100. You’ll be happy as a clam in this shell bed.

Yes, you can sleep like you’re a mermaid in the ocean. Except you’ll breathe air and not get wet.

The Lofty World of Hot Air Balloons

Posted by historymaniacmegan on July 27, 2017

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In some areas during the spring, summer, and fall, you might see a hot air balloon or two effortlessly floating in the sky. Though you may not see them often in the sky, you might see them in decorations and in many postcard worthy pictures like the one above. Still, these lighter than air aircraft consist of a large envelope bag containing heated air which makes it buoyant, usually with an open flame. Invented by the Mongolfier brothers in the 1780s, the hot air balloon was the first successful human-carrying flight technology with the first manned flight taking place in 1783 Paris. Though unmanned ones have existed in China since the 3 Kingdoms era. Today modern hot air balloons are mainly used for advertising and recreation. Yet, they can fly at extremely high altitudes and long distances if need be. Unlike other aircraft, hot air balloons can come in various shapes, sizes, and colors. There are even hot air balloon festivals from around the world which can include races, evening “night glows,” rides, and other activities. But here, I bring you a treasure trove of these fabulous flying machines for your unique reading pleasure.

You’d almost think this balloon is out of this world.

Though the space shuttle seems quite out of place among balloons. Yet, it’s quite awesome to look at.

2. “I tawt I taw a puddy tat.”

You can guess that this balloon has attributes of Tweety Bird. Though you’d probably never saw him up that high before.

3. A balloon like this is reserved for high flying celebrations.

Must be honoring someone or some establishment’s 100th birthday. Yet, I don’t think the candles add up.

4. Now that’s what I call a fly ball.

Okay, “fly ball” is a baseball term and this is a football balloon. Still, football season’s coming up soon.

5. There’s something magical about this castle in the air.

This is for Disneyland. Guess they have their own hot air balloon festival for the tourists.

6. Never thought I’d see a perching bird that huge.

Don’t worry, it’s just a hot air balloon. Not the result of a nuclear power plant accident. So just relax.

7. How about a nice cold pint in the sky?

Yes, apparently, they have beer shaped hot air balloons. But I suppose this is for an advertiser.

8. Watch our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ ascend into the heavens.

May not be like the lauded paintings from the Renaissance. But it’s close enough. And kind of hilarious.

9. Who says that pigs don’t fly?

Though the wings are quite small on this one. Yet, I like the cool shades.

10. Since it’s the Trump administration, I’d have to add a zebra.

The zebras were a bunch of people in costumes in La Paz, Bolivia to calm down traffic. Yet, this kind of resembles one of them.

11. A bouquet of tulips always looks stunning in the air.

Sure they’re not real. But you can’t help but admire them from hundreds of feet. Guess these are for spring.

12. Hope this blue clown can put a smile on your face.

On second thought, that’s kind of creepy. Don’t know why we have clowns stuff like this.

13. Nobody can resist this cute balloon penguin.

Looks a little sad. Still, it’s so adorable that you’d want to hug it and keep it for your very own.

14. The cactus looks as if it’s about to get high right now.

Well, it’s wearing sunglasses. But I’d watch the arms if I were you.

15. Seems like this little bee is quite flighty.

After all, this bee is about as sweet as honey. Seeing it fluttering in the sky is an absolute joy.

16. Wells Fargo sure enjoy their piggy banks.

So much so that they were involved in a scandal pertaining to savings accounts. Though you have to love the hearts on its cheeks.

17. Wonder how this shoe house will get off the ground.

This is perhaps a rendition of the “Old Woman Who Lived in a Shoe.” But in this case, it’s a Timberland.

18. A star-spangled balloon never fails to please.

It’s blue with white stars on top. Yet, the rest of it consists of red and white checks.

19. Seems like you can find this happy Jack in a box.

Well, it’s a jack-in-the-box. Though it’s not as creepy as some of the real things.

20. Tesco is the supermarket with the great large shopping carts in the sky.

Well, that’s kind of clever. Yet, I’m sure this isn’t a for a US chain store. Because I’ve never heard of the company.

21. You’d almost think you can fly when you’re on this balloon.

It’s supposed to depict Disney’s Peter Pan. Though considered a classic, it’s one of my least favorite Disney movies.

22. There’s a no more American hot air balloon than one of Uncle Sam.

This one has an Uncle Sam face and hat. But at least he seems happy to take to the skies.

23. This one of a kind hot rod is powered only through hot air.

Yes, you can have hot air balloons of cool stuff like this. Though you’d have to use a lot of canvas or nylon.

24. How about a balloon with a more prehistoric flair?

This T-Rex in the sky doesn’t really look like much. Yet, aerial photography isn’t always the best.

25. I’m sure you’ll have it easy getting this Humpty Dumpty over a wall.

Even if it’s Trump’s wall which would do absolutely nothing to keep undocumented immigrants out. But this is cute.

26. Tonight, I hear you can watch a cow jump over the moon.

This is from another nursery rhyme called “Hey Diddle Diddle.” Let’s just say its lines make no sense whatsoever.

27. You’d almost think this hot air balloon came from outer space.

Well, at least the default shape is perfect for the alien head. Hope it doesn’t land in Roswell, New Mexico.

28. This cute little clownfish may not be Nemo but it’ll do.

This one seems to have a little curious grin on its face. Yet it seems to take sailing the skies like swimming in the ocean.

29. These sky carrots apparently belong in their own patch.

Looks like we have a lovely bunch of nylon carrots. Too bad they’ll be devoured by rabbit balloons later.

30. You might find this hot air balloon quite finger lickin’ good.

Yes, there’s KFC hot air balloon, too. Yet, whatever’s in it won’t be good for your blood vessels. I guarantee it.

31. A Lisa Frank hot air balloon shows your girly rainbow pride.

Man, I loved Lisa Frank when I was a kid. Still, this has enough rainbow and glitter to spare.

32. Apparently, this balloon is filled with the luck of the Irish.

Well, it’s a shamrock balloon. So it’s perfect for flying over your local Saint Patrick’s Day parade.

33. A windmill hot air balloon has a fine country touch.

Seems like this one’s from the Netherlands. Mostly because the blades have the Dutch flag. Also, it’s a windmill.

34. With this balloon, the stars and stripes surely fly.

Yes, that’s a big hot air balloon. But at least it has all the stars and stripes.

35. Never though a house in the sky could be this haunted.

This one is for Halloween. Nevertheless, you’ll find hot air balloons for all sorts of occasions.

36. Is there a fire somewhere in the sky?

Seems like this fire truck balloon has a little face on it. Hope it can put out the fire in time.

37. Famous Footwear really put their foot on this one.

Yes, you’ll see a lot of advertiser balloons at a festival. Still, Famous Footwear’s one is perfect.

38. Wonder what creature head this one belongs to.

Resembles a green pointy eared antenna space alien to me. But yes, that’s a very gruesome show of fangs.

39. You might want to take a cue from a pink elephant.

Of course the whole expression of “pink elephant” is totally lost on kids. And yet, this guy looks wasted.

40. Care for a bouquet in the clouds?

This just consists of a bunch of balloons on a pile to make it resemble flowers. Yet, it also looks a bit like rainbow ice cream.

41. Wonder how much a lighthouse can see if it can fly.

A lot more than a regular lighthouse. But this lighthouse balloon is right on the money.

42. A Mardi Gras clown balloon is perfect for a high flying carnival.

As you can see, it has a yellow, green, and purple hat with jingles. Still, not scary as the previous clown.

43. Thought you’d never see a hot air balloon shimmer in the night life.

Yes, this is a hot air balloon in neon lights. And boy, do those lights dazzle like an electric sign?

44. This princess really has her head in the clouds.

She wears a golden crown and has on a pearl necklace. So pretty.

45. With this hot air balloon, adventure awaits at Paradise Falls.

You can bet I had to include the Up house in this hot air balloon post. Still, the house is the basket.

46. Is that a gambling bug flying around?

Well, it has card suites, antennae, and 6 digit.s Yet, it seems to be quite handy with a full deck.

47. The King has made landfall.

But I have to tell you that Elvis has been dead since 1977. Not kidnapped by aliens. But enjoy this hot air balloon in his likeness in the meantime.

48. With this hot air balloon, you’ll have a sea fantasy on a snowy day.

Consists of a happy octopus with a smiling fish and starfish. So adorable but more appropriate at the beach.

49. Celebrate American independence with this hot air balloon.

It’s decked in American flag colors with the Declaration of Independence. Another piece of Americana I had to include.

50. Why modernize when you can just copy an original?

This is a modern rendition of the Mongolfier balloon they used in the 18th century. Strangely it has a Belgian flag instead of the French one in that basket.

51. This rocket balloon will always soar in American glory.

Sure it won’t take you to outer space. But you’ll certainly take to the skies.

52. This hot hair balloon has become this dragon’s true domain.

Okay, it doesn’t look scary. But it goes around the balloon and breathes fire.

53. Someone has to keep law and order in the skies.

Well, this sheriff balloon has a rather quaint look to it. Even has a bobby hat and a sheriff star.

54. I guess this hot air balloon has a medical disposition.

This one has the caduceus insignia on it to symbolize medicine. Guess a simple red cross was already taken.

55. A polar bear hot air balloon is filled with Arctic might.

Guess this was to spread more awareness on climate change. Still, it’s huge when you look at it from the ground.

56. A sky high panda bear is always a wondrous sight to see.

Because what’s cuter than a bear balloon is a panda bear balloon. So adorable you want to cuddle it.

57. Apparently, balloon isn’t meant for the whole family.

Is this to advertise condoms, vibrators, or dildos? At any rate, wouldn’t want to see it from a mile away.

58. This pot seems to have its lid screwed on just right.

Yet, it doesn’t seem to be worried in the open air. From here on, it’s smooth sailing.

59. You’d almost imagine little green men coming out of this one.

Well, it’s a UFO hot air balloon. But some people might not see it this way and perhaps wish whoever’s operating it to take them to their leader.

60. This basset hound is always on the trail up in the air.

This hound is of orange, black, and white. But you’d never find a dog in the skies like it.

61. The Orient Express now offers air service.

Okay, it doesn’t provide air service because it’s a train. But still, this balloon is a near perfect likeness of a steam engine.

62. This skyward barn has much to offer.

Sure it looks like what you’d see in a kiddie’s play set. Even has a cow sticking out of it.

63. This alarm clock balloon will always tell you the time of day.

Well, it’s surely happy to tell you the time. Seems to sport such a happy face.

64. “She keeps a Moet et Chandon in a pretty cabinet…”

It it’s a kind of wine. But the balloon of it here only consists of the cork.

65. “The Wells Fargo wagon is a-comin’ down the street…”

Well, a stage coach like this is a Wells Fargo icon. So it’s only fitting I include it here.

66. Someone’s got their mind up in the air.

Well, that’s quite a brainy balloon. I know it’s kind of sick but I’m sure some readers will find it pleasing.

67. While the United States has the stars and stripes, Canada has the red maple leaf.

Still, living in the Trump administration, I have to envy them for having a good looking prime minister like Justin Trudeau. Nevertheless, I’ll probably hear more about them come hockey season.

68. A caravel always sails effortlessly through the skies.

Though a real wooden ship wouldn’t look as pretty as this outside the movies. But it’s surely lovely to behold.

69. Now here’s a fire extinguisher that could put out a wildfire.

Okay, I’m kidding on that one. But I’m sure the people of California could only wish this was a real fire extinguisher instead of a balloon of one.

70. Of course, you can’t have a hot air balloon festival without including Noah’s Ark.

Because it’s a big boat with all the animals on it which kids can enjoy. Sure they were on there to wait out a flood. But nobody cares when it’s a balloon festival.

71. No hot air balloon festival is ever complete without a butterfly.

This one has especially colorful wings. And an adorable little face to go with them.

72. Perhaps you might want to see EPCOT fly these days.

Now EPCOT is a part of the Walt Disney World in Florida. Also, I’ve actually been there back in 2008.

73. Even in the sky you’ll bound to behold a tasty chocolate sundae.

This one includes a cone and a cherry on top. But don’t bet on them serving ice cream there.

74. This turtle is always ready to take off from anywhere.

Too bad he has his shoes untied. Then again, he’ll probably still beat the hare anyway.

75. Never thought I’d see a green Jaguar in the air.

I’m sure people attending the festival would later buy a Jaguar. If they happen to possess a Swiss bank account or a yacht.

76. Even at a hot air balloon festival, Mr. Peanut always knows how to make an entrance.

And even after so many years, he’s as dapper as ever. Only difference is that he’s voiced by Bill Hader.

77. In case of a blaze, you can always count on this guy.

Okay, he won’t actually put out fires. But you have to love him in his large, red fireman hat.

78. Now here’s a hot air balloon that keeps going and going…

Because that’s what the Energizer Bunny does. Well, until the batteries inside it die.

79. A US spaceman takes it to infinity and beyond.

Sure it has an over-sized head and short limbs. But I’m sure space geeks will adore it.

80. A jack-o-lantern hot air balloon is pure Halloween delight.

I guess this is for a fall hot air balloon festival. Wonder if it lights up at night like the real thing.

81. A Remax house always makes for a happy home.

Too I can’t see more of this thing. Then again, it’s sometimes hard to take pictures of hot air balloons that do justice.

82. Not sure if this is the kind of atmosphere for a deep sea diver.

And this one is dressed in a black and yellow suit. Cute but not sure if the sky is the best place for it.

83. There’s nothing more fluffy in the sky than a small cottage

This is for bread, I recall. Yet, the home appears rather quaint and cozy like a Keebler elf house.

84. A macaw in the sky is a colorful parrot to behold on a ledge.

Yes, it’s in a perching position. But the bird itself really can fly. Guess sitting is more regal in a hot air balloon form.

85. The sky is a wonderful place for a peacock to spread its wings.

Well, doesn’t seem to have much of a train. But a colorful tail like that will surely do for me.

86. A lofty hot air balloon can depict a symbol of the nation.

Though I’d much rather like a bald eagle attack Donald Trump. Because he’s an illegitimate president and narcissistic sociopath with no redeeming qualities whatsoever.

87. This hot air balloon seeks to raise awareness and fight for the cure.

Then again, I kind of wish the Breast Cancer Awareness should focus on prevention. But yes, we should talk about it more. And not just in October.

88. Horton the Elephant will always be faithful 100% in flight.

Nice to see a hot air balloon of Horton from the Jungle of Nool. Yet, I have no idea where his clover is which has the speck of dust of Whoville.

89. Seems like this hot air balloon comes straight from the Dark Side.

I can almost hear the notes to the “Imperial March.” Still, this Darth Vader balloon is pretty damn cool.

90. If you liked Mike Wazowski from Monster’s Inc., then you’ll like this hot air balloon.

Yes, he’s everyone’s favorite cyclops. Though you’d have to hear him and Sully sing, “Put That Thing Back Where It Came From or So Help Me.”

91. Odd to see a pair of pants in the air. Wonder who put them there.

I know you’d think it’s a strange hot air balloon shape. But at least it’s an original design.

92. This penguin is all ready for fun in the sun.

It even has sunglasses, sandals, a hat, and Hawaiian shirt. So adorable.

93. Perhaps you’d want a bottle of wine for the skies.

Not sure what the wine is. But it sure has a lovely bottle design. Quite distinctive.

94. Not sure how a forklift operates in the sky.

Well, it’s for a forklift company. Still, you’d have to give kudos for this balloon design.

95. Large green balloon, Yoda is.

Little wrinkled and green man, Yoda is. But balloon amplifies his head tremendously, it does.

96. You wouldn’t expect Santa Claus to show up in a balloon of his own likeness.

Yes, they have hot air balloon festivals all year long. Even around Christmas. And this Santa is huge.

97. Wonder if this scarecrow can frighten the crows this high.

Probably since it’s so high. But on the other hand, it’s so adorable with its smile.

98. Oust will always keep the air fresh, even in the skies.

Though I’m not sure this will help you ward off odors of cow manure. Because it’s a hot air balloon.

99. Christ the Redeemer rises in Rio.

Bet this was for the Olympic Games in Rio. Still, have to admire Jesus’s jersey.

100. You can never have a great balloon fest without including Ben and Jerry.

Though this balloon doesn’t have any of its wacky flavors. Still, it soars.

The Funerary World of Coffins

Posted by historymaniacmegan on July 21, 2017

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It is often said that funerals are more meant for the living than the deceased since it involves saying goodbye to a loved one. Of course, this year, I had to attend my grandfather’s funeral on the week of my birthday back in January. Now while it’s hard to deal with his loss for me and anyone else in my family, his death wasn’t much of a shock since he was 89 years old. Nevertheless, funerals are often big business since death is an inevitable part of the human existence. I mean sooner or later we’re all going to die. So we might as well get used to it. Funerals are a ritual in which we celebrate a recently dead person’s life before we send them on their way to the great beyond. Oftentimes this would involve embalming the person’s body and sticking them in a ludicrously expensive box known as a casket or coffin. For the next few days that body is on display for a viewing until just before the funeral in which they’re often shipped away to a place of worship and later the cemetery and six feet under. Normally a coffin is a long rectangular (or hexagonal) wooden (or metal) box which often contains a cloth liner and a pillow. Yet, there are some custom coffins out there which can be a little creative, which is where I come in. So for your reading pleasure, I give you an assortment of crazy coffins you’ll probably never see at anyone’s funeral. Enjoy.

If your late nana always wanted to take a cruise but couldn’t, you might want to bury her in this.

There is a place in Ghana where they make custom made coffins like this. I guess this is for someone who worked on a cruise ship.

2. With a coffin like this, your dead pilot can reach the heavens in no time.

So what if it doesn’t actually fly. It’s just perfect for that one co-pilot on a flight to that great destination in the sky.

3. For a departed ballerina, a slipper casket will do.

Might be for Nina from Black Swan after she fatally stabbed herself. But it’s more likely for a dance teacher or choreographer.

4. Seems like John was a snooker man.

Because the balls here are all one color. Had he played pool, he would’ve been in more trouble a lot earlier.

5. Looks like this casket is bent over.

It’s actually a sitting coffin designed by surrealist Rene Magritte. You know him for his freaky paintings with the guy’s head behind an apple.

6. If you’re in a casket like this, it’s always hammer time.

That or it’s a perfect sendoff for a someone who was a real tool. Still, you don’t want to nail it in too hard.

7. Now this is a perfect send off for a real mother hen.

This is weird looking chicken. But I guess the deceased was a farmer. Though you can’t count them until they hatch.

8. This pink fish coffin is designed for those who let the big one get away.

Well, I guess there are pink fish in Africa. Still, talk about a fish out of water.

9. Of course, these coffins can give you the “fun” in funeral.

These one stand up and have faces on them. Not sure if they help ease the grieving process.

10. Your Uncle Stan may not be able to take his hot rod with him, but this is the next best thing.

I guess this casket didn’t come cheap. Then again, none of these do.

11. I’m guessing this was custom made for a woman.

Because it has boobs on it. Still, women have been buried in regular caskets for like ever.

12. For a funeral in Aspen, may I recommend an Alpine sendoff.

Well, this doesn’t seem too expensive. Just put the corpse in a bag and tie them to a sled with skis.

13. Now poor Charlie is literally in the jaws of death.

Yes, this is a shark coffin. I know what you’re thinking. But come on, I had to include one of these on my post.

14. Seems like this casket is someone’s key for the afterlife.

Though you’d be press to find a door it can unlock. Yet, it’s quite clever and simpler than some of the other designs.

15. A fancy car coffin should send you to that high end club in the sky.

Yes, there are coffins of cars, too. And this one’s windows are lined to give the dead person privacy.

16. There’s nothing like one last smoke before final departure.

Ever want to guess what killed this person. I think I have an idea. I mean it’s shaped like a cigarette so it’s practically obvious.

17. Before you go to the great beyond, remember to give us a call.

Turns out this Blackberry coffin has its own cover. Though the deceased is never calling back.

18. You’d find this casket rather reflective.

Well, it’s made from mirrors. Then again, light might bounce off of it if it’s a particularly sunny day.

19. How about be buried in a fancy eco-coffin?

These are cardboard coffins that disintegrate with the corpse over time. And they come in a variety of patterns.

20. If you’re on the highway to hell, why not have flames on your casket?

Yes, it certainly looks badass. Yet, you’d have to wonder who’d want to be buried in this.

21. Seems like fins are sticking out.

Actually the shark fins are part of the casket. Gives a more badass touch so to speak.

22. A Nintendo fan wouldn’t leave without their controls.

Sure the controls won’t work. But that doesn’t matter where this guy’s going.

23. He always wanted to go out with a bang.

Let’s hope that whatever this coffin looks like didn’t get him there. Because we all know what guns do to people.

24. How about you take your final trip in a convertible?

Well, you may not be able to get dates in it. Unless they happen to be among the choirs of angels.

25. You can say Brad lit up everyone’s lives.

That or he was a renowned electrician. Then again, even electricians will eventually burn out.

26. This eagle casket will certainly send your loved one soaring.

I have to admit, it has really nice feathers. Still, it’s more of a totem figure than anything.

27. For this deceased, it’s all 7s.

I guess this guy never had this much luck at a slot machine. Because no one ever does.

28. I guess who’s ever in there was a real basket case.

This is a wicker coffin and yes, it’s said to be eco friendly. Wonder if the Israelites put a dead Moses in one and sent him down the river. Oh, wait, they were in the desert. But it would’ve been an appropriate funeral for him.

29. If you’re in this coffin, chances are you’ll meet the Doctor at another time.

Well, I’m sure Doctor Who fans would want to be buried in this. Hope they don’t run into any Daleks along the way.

30. Your loved one will be camping forever in this one.

After all, people did camp in such trailers back in the day. And the windows have striped curtains.

31. Guess this woman is doing a solo on someone’s casket.

Well, it’s shaped like a large guitar. Yet, it’s a perfect sendoff for any well-known rock star.

32. Perhaps you might want a perfect picture of the afterlife.

This is a Canon. I’m sure it doesn’t work. But it certainly looks state of the art.

33. Send off your dead loved one in a casket of luxury.

By the way, this is what Michael Jackson’s coffin looked like. I’m sure it didn’t come cheap.

34. A boat motor coffin is perfect for whatever floats your boat.

Why a motor? Doesn’t make sense to me. Also does it float when you put it on the water?

35. A glass coffin always makes death transparent.

For some reason, I find the glass coffin idea kind of creepy. Must be due to Snow White, I guess.

36. If you want to make a statement, get buried in neon.

Now that’s my kind of coffin. Love the metallic stripes on it. So pretty.

37. Seems like a late DJ can drop a few beats.

Yet, I’m sure the club in the sky will have a very good selection. In fact, many of the musicians themselves are there.

38. Who’s said that a coffin should fit one when this fits 3?

There’s actually a sad story behind this one. So I won’t recall it. But yes, these do exist.

39. If you want a custom made coffin, this seems like a good fit.

Seems more like a containment chamber than a coffer. But hey, to each his own.

40. With this coffin, you can play video games for all eternity.

I’m sure plenty of people would want that. Yet, how can you play video games if you’re dead?

41. Instead of just a box, how about add a box kite?

After all, death should be a time when one should fly. Because death is always forever.

42. Perhaps it’s best to bury him the way they found him.

I guess they have a crime scene coffin, too. Not sure if that’s right. But it looks pretty funny.

43. For those who love beer, it’s an honor to be buried in a Pabst blue label.

Hope this person didn’t die from liver cirrhosis. Because alcoholism is a major problem right now.

44. This coffin was made for a real NASCAR sendoff.

Yet, if you want the real thing, make sure it crashes and burns into another coffin just like it. Not sure if that’s possible though.

45. This Twix coffin was built for 2.

Because Twix come in packs of 2. Hope you can get the picture here.

46. Lie in this coffin and nobody will forget you.

This is another Ghana coffin. Notice that it’s more in a traditional style.

47. You’d almost think this coffin was somebody’s dream house.

Well, sort of. But it certainly has a nice roof and porch to it. Love it.

48. This guy must’ve been a real monkey wrench back in his day.

Well, at least that one was easier to make than the hammer. But I wonder how you’d bury it.

49. Nothing makes a great send off than lying in a flamboyant lizard.

Well, if you can’t get buried in a dinosaur, then this must be the next best thing. But it’s still pretty cool.

50. Now this is how you pay tribute to an American hero.

Too bad the military just sticks with regular wooden coffins and draped flags. This seems more appropriate.

51. A dead piano player has to lie in this classy coffin.

This one even has keys on the side. Sure they don’t work, but it’s quite grand.

52. Looks like this coffin has received a lot of signage.

Though signing one’s casket isn’t usually a funerary tradition. Then again, to each his own.

53. An ocean lover would certainly would like to lie in this squid.

Then again, they’s probably prefer fish. But this seems like it can float one’s boat.

54. How about the porcelain treatment?

It’s just a wooden box with porcelain designs. Seems more appropriate for a china closet than 6 feet under.

55. This Nikon coffin is very state of the art.

Even resembles a real camera. May not take pretty pictures. But doesn’t look half bad.

56. Any last concessions?

I mean it’s a concession stand casket. But Quaker is the only brand I recognize.

57. How about a call back with this Nokia coffin?

This one even has a video screen. And I also hear it’s rather indestructible, too.

58. Ever wish you can be buried in your yacht? Now you can.

Well, sort of. Doesn’t quite resemble a yacht. But it’ll probably cost you an arm and a leg.

59. Bet you’re sure where this train car is going to take you.

Well, it more or less resembles a passenger car, not an engine. Because I couldn’t find the train engine. But this works.

60. Wonder how well this coffins projects this person’s life.

Then again, it seems this person worked at a movie theater. Though the reels don’t have film.

61. Seems like the fine wine has gone to vinegar in this casket.

Still, it’s kind of strange to have a bottle in the cask. Like the guy is a bottle.

62. He who’s buried in the remote controls all.

And this is for a Philips DVD player. All right, but you can’t push the buttons.

63. If you can’t be buried in your luxury ride, this luxury coffin will do.

Sure it might be real nice on the inside. But the only trip this thing will take you is 6 feet under.

64. Never thought you could be buried in a vise.

After all, a vise isn’t among the cool tools out there. Still, I wonder if it has any adjustments.

65. Wouldn’t necessarily call it a walkman. More like a lie-man.

Well, it’s in the shape of a walkman which people haven’t used for years. It’s kind of like an obsolete mp3 player.

66. Imagine yourself lying dead inside this scary lobster.

Well, that’s a gruesome lobster coffin. Definitely don’t want to be buried in that.

67. You’ll probably burn being buried in a red hot chili pepper.

You’d think this place in Ghana would make coffins of just about anything. Not surprised by this.

68. If you’re holy, you’d might want a coffin of biblical proportions.

Even has gold leaf on the pages and title. Just like a Bible should. But you’ll only find a body in this one.

69. In this coffin, you can write your own eternity.

Heard they have one that’s specifically for her. As if women haven’t been using these for decades.

70. Perhaps you might opt for a Venetian sendoff.

Because in Venice, they travel through canal boats since a lot of their streets are waterways. Though don’t ask for a gondola to sing for you there.

71. I guess this guy lying here was a bit of an old timer.

After all, it’s the kind of car you’d see on Downton Abbey. Still, whoever’s in that coffin better be old.

72. This gives a whole new meaning to “one foot in the grave.”

And it seems to be a Nike sneaker in this case. Even has its own laces.

73. The iDie brings the latest in funerary technology.

Something tells me that Steve Jobs was buried in this. I mean he invented the thing.

74. Now this coffin appears as pretty as a peacock.

Well, it certainly has a vivid feather train. And the man who made it is very proud of himself.

75. This turtle coffin takes the slow course to the cemetery.

Though you have to admire the shell shades on this one. Colors really go together.

76. How about a beer coffin by the bottle?

Guess this is a Ghana brand. Yet, “Club Beer” is hardly an original name if you ask me.

77. This coffin seems to have money all over it.

Guess this will be Donald Trump’s coffin when he dies. Because money seems to be among the few things that matter to him.

78. Uh, isn’t that bag a bit too large for carry-on luggage.

Caption: “Student Kirsten stands next to a coffin looking like a travel bag in a museum in Kassel, central Germany, Thursday, June 9, 2005. The exhibition called “crazy coffins” contains 16 different coffins and is open from June 9 to September 4.”

79. You’ve heard of rolling in Benjamins. How about lying in them?

Yes, this coffin is a stack of money. Only meant for the 1% who basically take it from the rest of us day in and day out.

80. A fallen deer hunter should always receive this special treatment.

Bet my neighbors will get a kick out of this. It even includes camo coffin liner.

81. May you lie in your final resting spot well grilled to perfection.

Now this’ll make your next summer barbeque an awkward experience. But I think it’s quite amusing.

82. Sometimes one might want to go with a more concept coffin design.

Basically it says that one’s deceased loved one was basically like leftover restaurant food. Come on, that totally is styrofoam.

83. Even in death you should always put your best foot forward.

This one is a more manly shoe. And it has been shine you can see yourself in it.

84. Hop aboard this plane for great luxury seating arrangements.

Too bad it only sits one. But at least the pink lining goes with the blue paint.

85. Perhaps you shouldn’t mind lying exposed sometimes.

Not sure why they have a coffin like this. Still, you can open it behind the boobs.

86. A dead fisherman should be sent off in this big beauty.

Yes, it’s my third fish coffin on this post. And yes, it’s pink. But it a white stripe on its belly.

87. How’d you like to be in this bottle of Coca Cola?

It even stands up on its own, too. Anyway, wouldn’t want to be in there.

88. This Hello Kitty coffin is a rather girly delight.

Actually it’s kind of creepy. I mean Hello Kitty is for little girls. Little girls stuff shouldn’t be on coffins.

89. For a majestic soul, you might want to lie in this lion coffin.

This one seems to take a lot of craftsmanship. Check out the detail on that mane.

90. This coffin was brought to you by Ghana Air.

Yes, I had to include this one. Because that’s where a lot of these outrageous coffins were made.

91. If you’re in Sergeant Peppers Lonely Hearts Club Band, try this coffin for size.

Bob must’ve been a die hard Beatles fan to be buried in this coffin. Yet, 2 of the guys on the side are still alive.

92. With this Viking boat coffin, you can give your loved one a send off fit for a warrior.

Just make sure you set it on fire as you set it on the water. Because that’s what happens at a Viking funeral.

93. How’d you like to be buried in a bottle of Jack Daniels?

Bet that would be fine with people who’d eventually die from Jack Daniels. Like Frank Sinatra for instance.

94. Well, since your funeral is a final sendoff, you might as well go with this.

Sure it depicts Da Vinci’s Last Supper. But c’mon, it’s a Renaissance masterpiece for God’s sake.

95. May this Tupperware coffin always keep your remains fresh.

After all, Hannibal Lecter has given these good reviews on Amazon. Okay, I’m getting a little too weird here.

96. This Panasonic coffin can always capture the moment.

Well, it would certainly give you a moment you’d remember. Because most coffins aren’t shaped like cameras at all.

97. Be buried in a way that’s fitting to any Starfleet officer.

Notice that it’s yellow for a command officer. Because redshirt bodies are normally left behind on the planet.

98. Seems like someone was murdered in here.

Actually that’s part of the casket. I know someone has a very sick sense of humor.

99. Seems like this nurse has had her last shot.

And they’re apparently burying her in a hypodermic needle. Quite fitting if you ask me.

100. You can easily sit on this casket if you want to.

It’s made to resemble a bench. Even has a leather lid you can sit on. Imagine that.

	Handibles on The Sacred World of Stained…
	angel p Guzman on Get in the Festive Fat Tuesday…
	angel p Guzman on Get in the Festive Fat Tuesday…
	Carla Arsenault on The Seaside World of Seas…
	Carla Arsenault on The Seaside World of Seas…

The Lone Girl in a Crowd

The thoughts and perceptions of an aspiring writer on life and the world around her

Tag Archives: Design