The Wonderful World of Vintage Postcards (Sixth Edition)

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As August rolls around, we are now in the thick of summer vacation season. And here I open my sixth postcard post with a destination that sees a lot of tourism this time of year. I’m talking about Florida, the land of sunshine, Disney World, beaches, Everglades, Cape Canaveral, hurricanes, political dysfunction, climate change endangerment, sink holes, and crazy tabloid news stories not involving celebrities. Florida is a state with something for everyone unless you’re into stuff like winter, higher elevations, dry land, Medicaid expansion, social justice for poor and minorities, fair election practices, home owner’s insurance, ecological stability, or any sense of normalcy. Let’s just say it’s a great place to visit but not somewhere I’d want to live. Still, I probably have more crazy vintage postcards on these kind of posts than from any other state. Mostly because Florida has always been a huge tourist destination since the early 20th century thanks to Gilded Age railroad construction, a couple real estate booms, and the inventions of air conditioning and highways. But even before Disney World, it had seen a lot of vacationers. Another reason is that a lot of these postcards contain a lot of weird shit. Still, I can show you some picturesque vintage postcards which will bore you to tears. So I’ll stick to the crazy postacards instead for your reading pleasure. Enjoy.

  1. In 1962, Seattle was home to the world’s largest birthday cake.

And no, it wasn’t for Bill Gates or Starbucks either. Still, you could probably feed all of Seattle with it.

2. A long hoagie like this would make Subway seethe with envy.

Yet, George didn’t hide his disdain having to assemble that sandwich on minimum wage. I’m sure we’ve been this guy at one point in our lives.

3. Matanuska is well-known for its large cabbage.

Actually it’s a place in Alaska known for its glacier and Sarah Palin. But you wouldn’t know that from the postcard. Also, you can see Russia from it.

4. Ladies and gentlemen, I bring you Tony Canepa and his dancing family.

He and his wife always dreamed of having as many children for their own football team. That or they wanted a chorus line.

5. Washington state’s Cape Disappointment surely lives up to its name.

Well, at least the name’s honest. Caption reads: “Rugged outcropping of land guarding the mouth of the Mighty Columbia River. This area is referred to as the ‘Graveyard of the Pacific’ and here is seen the lighthouse to guide the sailors.”

6. Of course, not everyone can smile when their dad runs for office.

Only the St. Bernard seems happy in this photo. I can totally understand why the guy’s family wants to be supportive. Yet, on the other hand, it might mean lots of adjustment.

7. How about a big “howdy” from Texas?

That has to be one of the freakishly horrifying giant cowboys I’ve seen in my life. For the love of God, take that down before it haunts my dreams.

8. Who remembers the Acromaniacs a.k.a. The Three Little Bakers?

Or as some call them, “Those three rich assholes who saw themselves better than anyone. And would shove people into lockers when no teacher was looking.”

9. At this little mini town, Sadie can now emulate Raquel Welch from Attack of the 50 Foot Woman.

Okay, I’m just kidding on that one. But still, I wouldn’t trust a kid near stuff like that.

10. Crawford’s Market brings the World Largest Cheese to the LA County Fair.

Still, you don’t see Alice in Dairy Land cut the cheese. For a silent and deadly stench may doom us all.

11. Cash will always make the holidays happier.

From Bad Postcards: “It looks like the girl is getting ready to vomit on her brother’s present.” The dad doesn’t seem too thrilled either.

12. Looks like it’s happy hour wherever this guy is.

Looks like someone’s cocktail could use a little more cowbell. Not sure how that would work out.

13. “This Attractive New Work Handling Equipment Cuts Work Handling Costs!”

That slogan sounds redundant and vague. Also, that woman looks like she wants whoever’s talking to shut up.

14. “Oh, Suzy, why do you always have to look at trains? It’s most unladylike.”

“Why can’t you be normal and read magazines other girls like such as celebrity tabloids? Or ones catering to feminine insecurities?”

15. Bonat hair dryers are fit for any beauty salon these days.

After all, on the Enterprise, you’d need different dryers for different kinds of hair. Not sure which one a Klingnon would use.

16. This BTC Beverage Cooler chills up to 288 bottles.

Also great for freezing the remains of your dead husband you murdered for the insurance money. I’m no one will recognize Charlie after Mildred has chopped off his limbs and torso.

17. Nobody could ever resist Halliday plastics for the home.

From Bad Postcards: “I’ll take two plastic dresses, a plastic clown, and the stackable plastic bowls. Figure my bill, please. I’m running late for a Tupperware party.” Available at your local landfill, ocean, or beach.

18. The ADDO-X Plus is a well tuned adding machine.

Though Adelaide has thoughts about dropping it on Nancy after work. Because Nancy always has to be better at crunching numbers than her in accounting. She must be stopped.

19. A secretary is never happy without two typewriters on her desk.

She uses one for her office related tasks. And she uses the other for recording thoughts of existential dread in her soul crushing existence.

20. Caryl Richards WIDE WIDE WAVE gives your hair more body to style your hair your way.

Of course, she received her new do from one of Whoville’s finest hair salons. And she looks utterly fabulous.

21. You’re in for a jolly Roger good time with a Pirates of the Caribbean themed bachelor party.

Drinks available will be Captain Morgan and Bacardi rum. Stay for a visit from Captain Jackie Sparebra. So you can yo, ho, ho all night with these ladies.

22. In Washington state, it’s apple picking time.

But keep in mind a woman’s lipstick has to match the color. Also, this could’ve been taken anywhere.

23. In the summertime, there’s nothing more fun than zip-lining. Women love zip-lining.

And she has to do it wearing no helmet whatsoever. Not necessarily a stellar example in safety.

24. Hairstyles Unlimited: for your constant loveliness.

Or the kind of salon you’d imagine Willie Wonka run if he worked as a hairdresser instead of a confectioner. He’d still have slave labor doing the actual styling though.

25. “Millionaire softened water makes me feel so good all over-why not try it?”

Still, how did she get out of the bath with full makeup, perfect hair, and high heeled shoes? I don’t understand it.

26. Huntington Maintenance and Sanitation products ensure quality cleanliness.

Still, this guy is just full of himself. For God’s sake he has his one image on a barrel.

27. “Seasons Greetings from Texas.”

Does it even snow in that state? Cause that just doesn’t look like Texas to me. To think this snow scene is from Texas defies all logical explanation.

28. This bamboo rake will rake in profits for you.

Like you didn’t know money grows on trees. Also, that background looks fake.

29. A beach vacation will always give you fun in the sun.

But with the right hairspray, your hair will be perfect even after hit by a tidal wave. Also, she has bad tan lines that I almost thought her swimsuit fell apart.

30. Here we have a Native American brave emerging from his wigwam.

Now this would be fine if this postcard came from the Midwest. But it’s actually from New York state. So why he’s wearing a warbonnet is beyond me.

31. Always fight for God, country, and flag.

Yet, this kind of imagery reflects the white Christian nationalism that got Donald Trump elected. And despite the pageantry, Trump doesn’t go to church, isn’t a patriot, and sure doesn’t respect the flag.

32. Electrolux gives you cleaning pleasure.

Like how is that a thing? I can’t even fathom that. Vacuums are incessant noise machines, damn it!

33. Behold, the world’s first automatic post office.

Guess this doesn’t make the postal workers happy. Automation has killed a lot of jobs for decades.

34. “How about I aim for that rabbit over there?”

Looking at their faces, I’m not sure if they know what they’re doing. Then again, they may not be aiming at an animal.

35. Come to Ralph’s Restaurant, home of the char-glo steaks.

What’s a char-glo steak? Is it a piece of steak grilled over uranium? Cause I’m not sure if I want to eat that.

36. You don’t know the real meaning of emancipation until you see the giant Abraham Lincoln statue.

On the bright side, at least this cartoonish statue isn’t in Gettysburg. And no, old Abe isn’t giving the finger despite your initial impressions.

37. Beauty Line shutters provide a perfect, “finishing touch.”

For some reason, advertisers seemed believe they can use scantily clad women to sell anything. Also, shutters are mostly considered window dressing these days anyway.

38. Kenny Kangaroo is here to give you fond memories.

For the love of God, keep your kids away from this costumed kangaroo. He may seem friendly but you’ll soon find yourself in a windowless van headed for some rich guy’s sex dungeon in who knows where.

39. Hi there! Heard you missed Sunday school last week.

Courtesy of the First Methodist Church of Stepford, apparently. I think they might be robots. Or folks who lure black people for seniors to assume their identities.

40. Here we come to a man sitting near a world class polar bear from Siberia that he shot and mounted.

Posing with a polar bear might make him feel like a badass. But in reality, he’s probably compensating for something. Seriously, that’s not cool.

41. You’ll always have a ball at the beach.

But it’s all fun and games until little Timmy shits his pants. Then he gets very cranky.

42. The lily pond always has the prettiest flowers.

Yet, she doesn’t seem the least bit disturbed about being a smorgasbord for mosquitoes. And let’s just say you don’t want to get malaria or Zika.

43. At the beach, there’s always “fun among the sea oats.”

You can get plenty of innuendo in this one. Are you feeling the oats?

44. Strategy in WWII hasn’t been brought to life like this before.

This wax display doesn’t seem lifelike at all. Dwight Eisenhower doesn’t seem to be contributing much at all. He’s in the right corner by the way.

45. Crazy Johnnie’s taxidermy has everything for your big game decorating needs.

This is kind of disturbing. Even more disconcerting are the bear stuff and the baby seal mount. Seriously, what monster would kill a baby seal?

46. “Have you had your thermal bath?”

Neither woman seems to mind being wrapped cocoons. For all they know, the staff could kill them in their sleep and throw them in the river.

47. This woman has kind of a cheesy disposition.

Wallace, may I introduce you to the perfect woman. She has all her curds in the right places. So who am I to diss a brie?

48. And you thought a car ride was too much to bear. Not anymore.

Though that bear is kind of small. But I sure don’t want that guy being behind the wheel. Might become lunch on the way.

49. Looks like Wally finally caught that big fish.

However, it makes catching big tuna seem way too easy than it really is. Still, hope that beach doesn’t have a catch and release policy.

50. Come to Groton, Connecticut, “The Submarine Capital of the World.”

The postcard would be fine if it had shown an actual submarine. This is a motorboat. Guess a sub wasn’t available for the photoshoot.

51. Here we witness a dramatic reenactment of the Cherokee Harvest Dance.

Chief Kevin was unimpressed by Pete and Bob’s imitation of Cirque du Soleil. Yet, Margaret was absolutely bored out of her mind.

52. Come to Kalaska, Michigan for the National Trout Festival.

Tonight we feature giant zombie trout that devours fishermen whole with impunity. Many fishing enthusiasts don’t dare face the dreaded fish for fear they’ll never be seen again.

53. Greetings from Daytona Beach, the world’s most famous beach.

And here we have a line of women in swimsuits to entice men to go there. And all pretty much have to look somewhat the same but not wear the same outfit.

54. This little girl caught a fish that couldn’t fit in her wagon.

Sure it’s about as big as she is. And yes, she probably had help from her parents. But can’t you let a little girl be proud of her achievements for God’s sake?

55. “We are looking for you this Sunday.”

Funny how such illustrations in these church postcards make you wonder if there’s something sinister going on. Those people’s faces are incredibly creepy.

56. This Christmas, let R&R Toy be your Santa and make your seasons jolly.

Oh, hell no! Not nightmare Santa Claus. Why the hell is he near that kid? Doesn’t anyone have any idea how dangerous he is around children?

57. Jesus can show you the way toward life.

Because the road to death only leads to a long drop from a cliff. So yes, Jesus saves and not just a lot on your car insurance.

58. Bible Land brings you to a Garden of Life.

Still, admission to this place isn’t cheap. In fact, it will cost you 5 loaves, 2 fishes, and firstborn. Though you can slaughter a lamb and put its blood on your door to avoid paying the last part.

59. The diver has a rather spongy disposition.

Yes, those are some sponges. And no, you shouldn’t use them to clean your house or dishes.

60. An Alaskan wolf is a particularly vicious beast.

Sorry, but taxidermy just doesn’t make this animal look at all intimidating. Besides, wolves aren’t that ferocious except when protecting their cubs.

61. Come to behold the scenic beauty of Balanced Rock.

That’s just a huge boulder. Why the hell does this make a worthy postcard? I don’t understand.

62. Come to Chappaquiddick, Massachusetts to admire the wondrous Dyke Bridge.

You remember this one-lane bridge as the place where Ted Kennedy nearly destroyed his political career. Heard they have a guide to show you where Mary Jo Kopeche died while being trapped in her car.

63. It’s always a magical visit to the Castle of Gnomes.

Don’t worry, kids. They’re just made of porcelain. No, they’re not trying to kill you or haunt your dreams. You just have a vivid imagination. Nothing to see here.

64. You can meet the deer close up at Mt. Rainier National Park.

Still, if a deer loses its fear of humans, that’s not good. Also, that girl, well, I heard her dad’s supposed to be a hairy sasquatch wandering the woods and eluding anyone trying to look for him.

65. Behold, the majestic beauty of the Blowing Rock.

Once again, that’s just a rock. There’s nothing remarkable about it. Besides, how is it supposed to be “blowing?”

66. “Greetings from Kansas.”

Doesn’t look very exciting does it? For God’s sake I think it could attract tourism it included at least a tornado.

67. The Salesmate is a new portable audio-visual selling tool.

You mean they had portable TV you can fold up from a suitcase? Why haven’t I heard of this?

68. “Howdy from Nevada.”

Seems like it consists of a long stretch of a desert highway. Though the purple mountains majesties are pretty. But that’s not why most people go to Nevada.

69. Candle Art Creations always try to please.

I’m sure acid had something to do with some of their designs. Not sure if I’d want any of these in my home.

70. Flower Fresh Cleaning keeps your living room as good as new.

From Bad Postcards: “Housewife Winifred notices that Hank, her Duraclean Man, looks tired from a long day of cleaning and offers him a chair massage. Hank, always the willing reciprocator at house calls, offers Winifred a “special” foot bath that will satisfy two of his fetishes: suds and feet.”

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Bon Voyage Vacation Memories

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Here am I in one of the gardens at Richmond, Virginia’s Maymont in 2015 with my parents. This gilded age estate boasts an animal sanctuary, a Victorian mansion, gardens, and an arboretum. And yes, it takes all day to walk through it.

In the swing of the summer, August is usually the time when most people go on vacation. Well, at least in the United States anyway. Mostly because the summer vacation is winding down for the kids who will soon be back to school for the most part. Nevertheless, you will find a lot of people want to cherish such trips forever in their scrap books or photo albums so you have people wanting to take pictures of their family. Or they may want to use the vacation photos in their Christmas card. At any rate, I can show you so many great vacation photos from people’s travels. But you’d probably assume that they’re stock photos and probably not find them interesting. So instead, I’d go to Awkward Family Photos and show pictures that don’t depict precious memories as well as were probably taken at the wrong moment. If you think your vacation photos didn’t turn out right, I hope this post makes you feel better. Because it should.

  1. Greetings from Carnival Cruises!
And what better way to show it than by being photoshopped riding on a dolphin? Yeah, it's pretty obvious.

And what better way to show it than by being photoshopped riding on a dolphin? Yeah, it’s pretty obvious.

2. When you have to answer the call of nature, holding it in can’t wait.

Helps if you bring your own toilet. Yet, you still have to take your crap with you. Or bury it.

Helps if you bring your own toilet. Yet, you still have to take your crap with you. Or bury it.

3. Nothing makes a great family vacation photo like a picture in front of the Golden Gate Bridge.

However, you should always check if the photo shoot location is a nude beach before you take the picture. Else, you might end up with a full moon near the water.

However, you should always check if the photo shoot location is a nude beach before you take the picture. Else, you might end up with a full moon near the water.

4. Remember to always wear a life jacket when you’re on a boat. You’ll never know when it’ll come in handy.

Yeah, seems like we have someone who fell overboard on the rapids. Don't worry, Sadie, Mom's got you covered.

Yeah, seems like we have someone who fell overboard on the rapids. Don’t worry, Sadie, Mom’s got you covered.

5. “And here is the whole family at the hotel witnessing some guy being taken to the emergency room.”

Guy being taken into an ambulance: Not funny. Family posing for a vacation photo while a guy's being taken into an ambulance: hilarious.

Guy being taken into an ambulance: Not funny. Family posing for a vacation photo while a guy’s being taken into an ambulance: Hilarious.

6. Sometimes a Disney World wedding proposal can be so perfect, save for that one pesky tourist who got in the way.

Given that Disney is usually crowded as hell, you have to expect these things. Yeah, that's a photobomb to remember.

Given that Disney is usually crowded as hell, you have to expect these things. Yeah, that’s a photobomb to remember.

7. Travel to the wonderful picturesque scenery of LaCroaca Beach.

Apparently, this family came since they heard it was a "Super Fun Zone." Little did they know it was actually a "Superfund Zone." Very different connotation.

Apparently, this family came since they heard it was a “Super Fun Zone.” Little did they know it was actually a “Superfund Zone.” Very different connotation.

8. There’s nothing like spending a great vacation with your dad.

However, a father and son photo is not the kind of picture for an old man in a speedo. You can't unsee that.

However, a father and son photo is not the kind of picture for an old man in a speedo. You can’t unsee that.

9. “No, I don’t want to sit with the Squid Lady!”

Then again, I can't really blame the kid. That woman really looks like a sea monster coming after him.

Then again, I can’t really blame the kid. That woman really looks like a sea monster coming after him.

10. “On second thought, maybe taking Sparky with us wasn’t a good idea.”

Yeah, I don't think the dog should be sniffing up that woman's skirt. Really ruins the moment.

Yeah, I don’t think the dog should be sniffing up that woman’s skirt. Really ruins the moment.

11. Sometimes it helps to know what the animals are doing before taking pictures of young children at the zoo.

Apparently, the older brother has some fascination with Humping, Humping Hippos. As for the girl, well, she's probably watched enough nature shows to know what's going on.

Apparently, the older brother has some fascination with Humping, Humping Hippos. As for the girl, well, she’s probably watched enough nature shows to know what’s going on.

12. On the water, always try to hold onto the raft.

Or else you can go flying out of the boat or into the water. Luckily he has on his life jacket.

Or else you can go flying out of the boat or into the water. Luckily he has on his life jacket.

13. Here are the Hendersons in the cave with Perry the Polar Bear.

And it seems like Perry wants to take Mrs. Henderson and Leslie for a tasty meal afterwards. Then again, Perry may be some really gigantic and ugly Arctic Ferret for all I care.

And it seems like Perry wants to take Mrs. Henderson and Leslie for a tasty meal afterwards. Then again, Perry may be some really gigantic and ugly Arctic Ferret for all I care.

14. Apparently, Grandpa didn’t take to surfing very well.

Sure it's a photo op. But the grandfather really seems to be in distress here. Not a happy camper in the least.

Sure it’s a photo op. But the grandfather really seems to be in distress here. Not a happy camper in the least.

15. On Carnival Cruise Lines, you can have your picture taken with your favorite Latin American stereotype.

Seems like this family went with a Mexican bandito. And no, he don't need no stinkin' badges.

Seems like this family went with a Mexican bandito. And no, he don’t need no stinkin’ badges.

16. “Just let me finish this one level of Donkey Kong.”

I don't know about you. But I think when you're on vacation, best leave the video games at home. And definitely not play them on Splash Mountain.

I don’t know about you. But I think when you’re on vacation, best leave the video games at home. And definitely not play them on Splash Mountain.

17. “Son, it’s about time that I introduce you to the tradition of lederhozen.”

I have no idea why lederhozen exists. But this is certainly a picture this boy will certainly not want his classmates to see.

I have no idea why lederhozen exists. But this is certainly a picture this boy will certainly not want his classmates to see.

18. Despite what some parents think, sometimes you’re better off not getting your teenage children matching swimsuits.

This guy must be a brave man to wear a hot pink speedo. Guess this is what guys have to go through if they have sisters.

This guy must be a brave man to wear a hot pink speedo. Guess this is what guys have to go through if they have sisters.

19. Apparently, there was a massive Pooh epidemic in town.

In fact, there was Pooh everywhere as far as the eye can see. And we mean literally everywhere.

In fact, there was Pooh everywhere as far as the eye can see. And we mean literally everywhere.

20. Sometimes your destination may include interesting venue names.

This is a leather working shop. Hopefully, little Cindy doesn't understand what "Cow's Ass" means by this point.

This is a leather working shop. Hopefully, little Cindy doesn’t understand what “Cow’s Ass” means by this point.

21. Apparently, Mr. Grizzly was not in a good mood that day.

Well, at least there's a fence so the bear won't attack anybody. Then again, the fence doesn't seem that effective. Unless it's electric.

Well, at least there’s a fence so the bear won’t attack anybody. Then again, the fence doesn’t seem that effective. Unless it’s electric.

22. Seems like the Flanders family went to the sharks.

Relax, they were at an aquarium in North Carolina and got their picture there. Interesting, they chose a shark backdrop for it.

Relax, they were at an aquarium in North Carolina and got their picture there. Interesting, they chose a shark backdrop for it.

23. Since her was a pup, Rascal always wanted to see the Grand Canyon.

But once he got there, he wasn't impressed with the view. Nobody knows why.

But once he got there, he wasn’t impressed with the view. Nobody knows why.

24. Seems like Jimmy is enjoying the family trip to Hawaii this year.

Sorry, kid, but I'm afraid the hula girl's not interested. Don't take it personally.

Sorry, kid, but I’m afraid the hula girl’s not interested. Don’t take it personally.

25. Welcome to Arkansas where they all come fully loaded.

Let's hope this kid isn't holding a real assault rifle. Because this photo is incredibly disturbing. Really.

Let’s hope this kid isn’t holding a real assault rifle. Because this photo is incredibly disturbing. Really.

26. Unfortunately, some families are bound to experience some vacation dismemberment.

This is actually a botched attempt of a panorama picture. As you see, it did not go well at all.

This is actually a botched attempt of a panorama picture so no actual dismemberment took place. But looking at it…

27. There’s nothing better than a family vacation to Disney World which is the happiest place on earth.

The Sadlers seemed to think otherwise. From their faces, they probably became disappointed once they saw how long the lines were for the rides.

The Sadlers seemed to think otherwise. From their faces, they probably became disappointed once they saw how long the lines were for the rides.

28. You can’t have a family vacation without a soak in a Jacuzzi.

I see these kind of pictures a lot and they always seem awkward. A few of the guys can't hide their discomfort for the picture. No wonder.

I see these kind of pictures a lot and they always seem awkward. A few of the guys can’t hide their discomfort for the picture. No wonder.

29. “Honey, do you know where Travis is? You told me he was in the tent.”

In reality, the kid was on the tent, not in the tent. Still, someone get him off there.

In reality, the kid was on the tent, not in the tent. Still, someone get him off there.

30. Hop aboard the good ship, Hornblower Invader.

To be fair, there is a guy named Hornblower in literature who's a naval officer. But the name can sound so dirty that it just gives me giggles.

To be fair, there is a guy named Hornblower in literature who’s a naval officer. But the name can sound so dirty that it just gives me giggles.

31. Despite being seen as “the happiest place on earth,” we have to accept the fact that Disney World has an insidious dark side.

Oh, my God, Mickey, what the hell are you doing? You're supposed to hug and pose with children, not eat them! Never seen something so horrifying.

Oh, my God, Mickey, what the hell are you doing? You’re supposed to hug and pose with children, not eat them! Never seen something so horrifying.

32. Hop along the Wet Dream, kiddos.

Well, the word "wet dream" has another meaning. But I don't think it's something to tell the kids about till they're older.

Well, the word “wet dream” has another meaning. But I don’t think it’s something to tell the kids about till they’re older.

33. Now Lexie had understood what Jason meant when he talked about “the big one that got away.”

Seems like she's jealous that her boyfriend appears more interested in the fish than in her. I don't think she understands what he has with Big Mouth Billy Bass. And never will.

Seems like she’s jealous that her boyfriend appears more interested in the fish than in her. I don’t think she understands what he has with Big Mouth Billy Bass. And never will.

34. There are some people who love roller coaster rides, then there are people like this.

My dad is totally this girl when it comes to roller coasters. She'll be in for a wild ride.

My dad is totally this girl when it comes to roller coasters. She’ll be in for a wild ride.

35. When you wanted to go see Evanescence but are stuck with going to the family cabin instead.

That girl really stands out in this picture. Then again, you tend to have that with teenagers.

That girl really stands out in this picture. Then again, you tend to have that with teenagers. It’s part of life.

36. When camping, nobody puts baby in a corner but on a post.

Well, that's one way to keep an eye on the baby. Wonder if they had camping high chairs back then. Probably not.

Well, that’s one way to keep an eye on the baby. Wonder if they had camping high chairs back then. Probably not.

37. When naming a geographic location, make sure it doesn’t have unfortunate implications.

Honestly, she's not a hoe. That's just the name of the place. But you get the joke.

Honestly, she’s not a hoe. That’s just the name of the place. But you get the joke.

38. “Watch where you place your hand, Bobby!”

To be fair, the kid doesn't know any better. But yes, it's a very unfortunate placement that you don't want on a Christmas card.

To be fair, the kid doesn’t know any better. But yes, it’s a very unfortunate placement that you don’t want on a Christmas card.

39. Greetings from Park City Mountain Resort!

The place where sibling rivalries are known to intensify. Even on the ski lifts.

The place where sibling rivalries are known to intensify. Even on the ski lifts.

40. This is a great place to see a giant tortoise up close and personal.

In fairness, this seems to be photoshopped by some zoo. Yet, it begs the question why the place would have a mating turtle backdrop to begin with.

In fairness, this seems to be photoshopped by some zoo. Yet, it begs the question why the place would have a mating turtle backdrop to begin with.

41. Think deer are pleasant creatures? Think again.

Man, some animals just don't seem to know fear. Don't worry the girl only received a bruise.

Man, some animals just don’t seem to know fear. Don’t worry the girl only received a bruise.

42. There are some foods that are too much for a seagull to resist.

Then again, seagulls eat almost anything they could get their beaks on. But they especially like fish since they're coastal birds.

Then again, seagulls eat almost anything they could get their beaks on. But they especially like fish since they’re coastal birds.

43. For some reason, the squirrel wanted to smile for the camera.

At first this photo doesn't seem out of the ordinary. Until you see the squirrel facing the camera.

At first this photo doesn’t seem out of the ordinary. Until you see the squirrel facing the camera. Then you wonder if it’s nuts.

44. There are some couples’ vacation photos that beg the question, “Why?”

Guess these two wanted a photo together to embarrass their kids with someday. Future and otherwise.

Guess these two wanted a photo together to embarrass their kids with someday. Future and otherwise.

45. Recently, she’s become a magnet for macaws.

Kind of reminds me of those vintage bikini postcard photos for some reason. Then again, it's quite tame in comparison.

Kind of reminds me of those vintage bikini postcard photos for some reason. Then again, it’s quite tame in comparison.

46. “Hey, that wasn’t supposed to happen on the elephant ride!”

Guess this was how Dumbo was made. Bet Disney didn't show you that. Still, like how one guy seems excited about it.

Guess this was how Dumbo was made. Bet Disney didn’t show you that. Still, like how one guy seems excited about it.

47. Maybe they should’ve hired a better T-shirt designer for the family reunion.

That's a very unfortunate design. Guess the little kid just learned a new curse word.

That’s a very unfortunate design. Guess the little kid just learned a new curse word.

48. When driving around the animals, always keep your window up.

Talk about a traumatizing moment. Hope the boy is all right after that. And has brought a change of clothes.

Talk about a traumatizing moment. Hope the boy is all right after that. And has brought a change of clothes.

49. This old lady is like, “I never want to go on this ride again.”

Since this photo was taken on a water ride, I wouldn't blame her. But that look her face says it all.

Since this photo was taken on a water ride, I wouldn’t blame her. But that look her face says it all.

50.  Woodland scenery always makes a great romantic photo op.

Except when you see two bears mating in the background. Yes, that's what hot grizzly action looks like kids. No joke.

Except when you see two bears mating in the background. Yes, that’s what hot grizzly action looks like kids. No joke.

51. “Sorry, Grandma, but it’s for your own good.”

Pushing your granny off of Niagra Falls. It's the kind of touching family photo only the likes of Alfred Hitchcock would dream of making into a movie.

Pushing your granny off of Niagra Falls. It’s the kind of touching family photo only the likes of Alfred Hitchcock would dream of making into a movie.

52. That moment when you want to take a picture of your kids during nuclear testing.

You got to hope that photoshop was going on here. Otherwise, those kids might be doomed for all we know.

You got to hope that photoshop was going on here. Otherwise, those kids might be doomed for all we know.

53. “Excuse me, but could you take me and my cubs to the salmon spawning grounds?”

That has to make you shit your pants. Seriously, if a bear comes that close to you, stay in the car and drive off. Just do it.

That has to make you shit your pants. Seriously, if a bear comes that close to you, stay in the car and drive off. Just do it.

54. Nothing is more fun than pretending to be African tribesmen killing taxidermied animals.

I know this might be offensive to some people. But I think it's pretty funny. Besides, this picture was taken in the 1970s anyway.

I know this might be offensive to some people. But I think it’s pretty funny. Besides, this picture was taken in the 1970s anyway.

55. At Zakopane, dog sled rides are fun for the whole family.

However, that has to be someone in a polar bear suit. And it seems to have the body of an Abominable Snowman.

However, that has to be someone in a polar bear suit. And it seems to have the body of an Abominable Snowman.

56. “Aaaah! Giraffe Man in the water! Run for your lives!”

This is just too much. Like how everyone seems scared by a guy in a giraffe suit. And he's not nearly as scary as a maneating shark.

This is just too much. Like how everyone seems scared by a guy in a giraffe suit. And he’s not nearly as scary as a maneating shark.

57. When you’re hiking and are the one holding all the equipment.

Apparently, "share the load" doesn't apply to this guy for some reason. Can see why the woman appears to resent him. Hope she gets a free trip to a massage parlor afterwards.

Apparently, “share the load” doesn’t apply to this guy for some reason. Can see why the woman appears to resent him. Hope she gets a free trip to a massage parlor afterwards.

58. Nothing is scarier to children than a banjo playing gator.

Even funnier, that gator is nowhere near intimidating. But the kids are crying anyway.

Even funnier, that gator is nowhere near intimidating. But the kids are crying anyway.

59. Sometimes you never know who you’re going to meet on the road.

Yes, there's a biker gang nearby. No, I don't know if they're just there to admire the scenery. But it's pretty funny.

Yes, there’s a biker gang nearby. No, I don’t know if they’re just there to admire the scenery. But it’s pretty funny.

60. Introducing the “Dad Tan.”

Not sure if those are his tan lines or he doesn't know how to put on sunscreen correctly. Either way, he might need to apply the Aloe Vera.

Not sure if those are his tan lines or he doesn’t know how to put on sunscreen correctly. Either way, he might need to apply the Aloe Vera.

61. When it comes to meth, just let it go before this happens.

Elsa, what the hell happened to you? You look like hell. And you seem like you're in really deep shit, too.

Elsa, what the hell happened to you? You look like hell. And you seem like you’re in really deep shit, too.

62. Here is Tom taking a jump at the Grand Canyon.

Don't worry it's photoshopped. But it sure will freak out his parents.

Don’t worry it’s photoshopped. But it sure will freak out his parents.

63. Your first time on water skis could be a rather crazy experience.

This kid is holding his breath. Wouldn't really blame him either.

This kid is holding his breath. Wouldn’t really blame him either.

64. Sibling rivalry: sometimes it can start at a very young age.

This is bound to give your parents a heart attack. Then again, maybe the other kid lost balance.

This is bound to give your parents a heart attack. Then again, maybe the other kid lost balance.

65. “Aaah! There’s an ostrich at my window!”

I can understand why that woman is screaming. If an ostrich appeared at your car window, you'd feel the same way.

I can understand why that woman is screaming. If an ostrich appeared at your car window, you’d feel the same way.

66. Sometimes moments like these make you wish to have a vacation away from your embarrassing family.

Family vacations can be inescapable things sometimes. Particularly when to posing for crazy photo ops.

Family vacations can be inescapable things sometimes. Particularly when to posing for crazy photo ops.

67. “Who put tomato slices on my legs?”

If I were her, I'd be asking the same question. Then again, she was probably a prank target.

If I were her, I’d be asking the same question. Then again, she was probably a prank target.

68. For some reason, little Cassidy was different from the other girls.

Seems like she's looking a bit grizzly lately. Best to not get on her bad side for the time being.

Seems like she’s looking a bit grizzly lately. Best to not get on her bad side for the time being.

69. You always need a picture with giraffes on a zoo trip.

And I guess the trip became a rather educational experience for this young girl. Or at least when she saw what the giraffes were doing in the background.

And I guess the trip became a rather educational experience for this young girl. Or at least when she saw what the giraffes were doing in the background.

70. When photographing your kids near rocks, make sure they don’t have anything written on them.

Yeah, "get high" is not an appropriate message for children. But it's graffiti so it's not where it's supposed to be anyway.

Yeah, “get high” is not an appropriate message for children. But it’s graffiti so it’s not where it’s supposed to be anyway.

71. Someone wake up Grandma before she’s underwater.

Well, she certainly chose the wrong place to sit at the beach. Don't want to be at the tide.

Well, she certainly chose the wrong place to sit at the beach. Don’t want to be at the tide.

72. Seems like this place is having a ball.

Let's hope this little girl doesn't know what the word, "testicle" means. At least until she's older.

Let’s hope this little girl doesn’t know what the word, “testicle” means. At least until she’s older.

73. Seems like Maisy fell out of the plane.

Don't worry. Her mom and her sister have her. So she's fine. Seriously.

Don’t worry. Her mom and her sister have her. So she’s fine. Seriously.

74. Someone help her before she falls off a cliff.

Again, this is a photoshopped picture designed to freak out parents. But still, it's disturbing.

Again, this is a photoshopped picture designed to freak out parents. But still, it’s disturbing.

75. Someone doesn’t think that Tiggers are wonderful things.

For the girl hiding under the table, Tiggers are the stuff of nightmares. Of great, big, bouncy nightmares.

For the girl hiding under the table, Tiggers are the stuff of nightmares. Of great, big, bouncy nightmares.

76. How about a moon over Manhattan?

I didn't mean that kind of moon. But you can see the photographer was in for a big surprise when this picture developed.

I didn’t mean that kind of moon. But you can see the photographer was in for a big surprise when this picture developed.

77. Someone doesn’t seem to be enjoying their Caribbean vacation.

Then again, the guy's face totally seems photoshopped since he probably wasn't with his folks on the trip to begin with. Doesn't look right at all.

Then again, the guy’s face totally seems photoshopped since he probably wasn’t with his folks on the trip to begin with. Doesn’t look right at all.

78. When everyone’s exhausted on the trip and you’re wanting to see more.

Then again, the baby was probably tiring out the whole family. And might even cry just for the heck of it.

Then again, the baby was probably tiring out the whole family. And might even cry just for the heck of it.

79. This has to be a view from another world.

This is a beach where kids are on leashes and dogs run free. Hopefully the dogs are spayed or neutered.

This is a beach where kids are on leashes and dogs run free. Hopefully the dogs are spayed or neutered.

80. “Did we miss anybody?”

Looks like someone fell off the raft in the rapids. Guess they'll have to go back for him.

Looks like someone fell off the raft in the rapids. Guess they’ll have to go back for him.

The Wonderful World of Vintage Postcards (Fifth Edition)

vintage_california

Once again, it’s summer vacation season where people travel to some far off destination before having to deal with back to school season. Or if they can afford it and have any vacation days. Because a lot of people in the US don’t. Nevertheless, this California postcard is one of the greats since each block letter shows you each unique feature and destination you can see like the Golden Gate Bridge, Hollywood, Yosemite, the Redwood Forest, Death Valley, the freeways, beaches, orange groves, and more. And it even has the California state house in the corner like that is even necessary. As you might’ve seen before in my previous postcard posts, you might find a lot of them from back in the day. However, though I can show you all the wonderful postcards out there, you might find them incredibly uninteresting. So I’m going to stick with those you might find incredibly ridiculous because I like to play with people’s sense nostalgia. After all, most of these are from the 1950s-1970s anyway. Now for your reading pleasure, enjoy yet another selection of these vintage postcards.

 

  1. We begin with a couple ladies enjoying a thrilling ride down the escalator.
Yes, it's so fun to go down the escalator at the mall. This is especially for the Ooomah Loompah's beautiful daughter. Or Donald Trump's mother, but I don't wish to offend the woman in yellow.

Yes, it’s so fun to go down the escalator at the mall. This is especially for the Ooomah Loompah’s beautiful daughter. Or Donald Trump’s mother, but I don’t wish to offend the woman in yellow.

2. Explore the picturesque view of Bass River State Park, New Jersey.

Either this woman is trying to cover up a major wardrobe malfunction or she's not wearing a bra. Because the way she has her hand on her chest makes me feel quite suspicious.

Either this woman is trying to cover up a major wardrobe malfunction or she’s not wearing a bra. Because the way she has her hand on her chest makes me feel quite suspicious.

3. “And this dress comes with two matching hats.”

I know the print is very atrocious and would better as window drapery. Then again, I apologize to any of my window viewers reading this.

I know the print is very atrocious and would better as window drapery. Then again, I apologize to any of my window viewers reading this.

4. For efficient liquid handling, try Hannay Hose Reels.

Yes, these hose reels are for your garden hose. I know they're industrial looking but that was what they were like at the time.

Yes, these hose reels are for your garden hose. I know they’re industrial looking but that was what they were like at the time.

5. This old man just loves to frolick with his black eyed susans.

I don't know about you. But there's something very unsettling about this old guy. I just don't know what.

I don’t know about you. But there’s something very unsettling about this old guy. I just don’t know what.

6. At Colonial Williamsburg, feel free to put one of our reenactors into the stockade.

However, if you want to harass and throw some rotten produce at her, then you're shit out of luck. But you can still get your picture taken.

However, if you want to harass and throw some rotten produce at her, then you’re shit out of luck. But you can still get your picture taken.

7. Welcome to Oklahoma City from their local Veterettes.

Only in Oklahoma City where you can find a local VFW having its own majorette squad. Bad Postcards adds, "Name changed after its first year as the Veterans of Foreign Warsettes."

Only in Oklahoma City where you can find a local VFW having its own majorette squad. Bad Postcards adds, “Name changed after its first year as the Veterans of Foreign Warsettes.”

8. Hope you enjoy Lolly the Magic Clown making balloon animals.

However, when he's asking for a volunteer, feel free to not raise your hand. Because those who do are never seen again. And those who volunteered to be sawed in half usually meet a grisly end onstage.

However, when he’s asking for a volunteer, feel free to not raise your hand. Because those who do are never seen again. And those who volunteered to be sawed in half usually meet a grisly end onstage.

9. Desmond “the Daffy Diplomat” always knows where the fun is.

Tragically for some people, it involves making volunteers' money magically disappear from their bank accounts. Also what's with the dice on his fingers?

Tragically for some people, it involves making volunteers’ money magically disappear from their bank accounts. Also what’s with the dice on his fingers?

10. More mail for Santa Claus in North Pole, New York.

Due to melting Arctic ice caps caused by climate change, Santa Clause was forced to relocate his operations to a more stable location. He tried to move to Siberia but the Soviets thought he was too much of a capitalist icon. So he settled for upstate New York.

Due to melting Arctic ice caps caused by climate change, Santa Clause was forced to relocate his operations to a more stable location. He tried to move to Siberia but the Soviets thought he was too much of a capitalist icon. So he settled for upstate New York.

11. Lake of the Woods, Minnesota is proud to present to you Willie Walleye.

The area's historical society has a whole page dedicated to this guy as well as plenty of tall tales. So he's sort of like the Paul Bunyan of fish?

The area’s historical society has a whole page dedicated to this guy as well as plenty of tall tales. So he’s sort of like the Paul Bunyan of fish?

12. As we all know, good fences make good neighbors.

However, when it comes to neighborhood fencing, I would prefer something more inviting. Like a wooden picket fence. Because metal ones are more suitable for public places.

However, when it comes to neighborhood fencing, I would prefer something more inviting. Like a wooden picket fence. Because metal ones are more suitable for public places.

13. “Performing in the Last Chance Saloon 3 times daily” are Miss Kitty and her Can-Can dancers.

Sorry, but to me, that just looks like a poorly executed version of Moulin Rouge. Also, fringe underwear? That's stripper wear.

Sorry, but to me, that just looks like a poorly executed version of Moulin Rouge. Also, fringe underwear? That’s stripper wear.

14. Always dress your best during deer hunting season, ladies.

I guess the orange and camo dress code didn't exist at the time. Still, how exactly do you shoot a deer with fur mittens? I don't get it.

I guess the orange and camo dress code didn’t exist at the time. Still, how exactly do you shoot a deer with fur mittens? I don’t get it.

15. I guess this restaurant owner is like, “I use antlers in all of my decorating.”

Okay, I know it's not entirely decorated with antlers, but I couldn't resist that. Nevertheless, I'm sure this restaurant isn't recommended for Mount Lebanon residents.

Breakfast specials include the 4 dozen eggs every morning to help kids get large. The adult version is 5 dozen eggs that will make you roughly the size of a barge. Nevertheless, I’m sure this restaurant isn’t recommended for Mount Lebanon residents.

16. Here we come to what seems to be in an undisclosed location.

Because it really seems like this might be a blood facility with the red liquid and people in scrubs. And it kind of creeps me out.

Because it really seems like this might be a blood facility with the red liquid and people in scrubs. And it kind of creeps me out.

17. From St. Louis, you might remember the Jakovac Tamburica.

From Bad Postcards: "If, by some bizarre turn of events, I become a designer of sex toys, I have the name for my first product." Also, those outfits really don't make their case any better.

From Bad Postcards: “If, by some bizarre turn of events, I become a designer of sex toys, I have the name for my first product.” Yeah, when your band goes by the name Jakovac Tamburica, you might want to reconsider.

18. Welcome to Wildwoods by the Sea, New Jersey, home of the Hellhole.

Of course, some people might think hellhole applies to New Jersey in general. But this one has demonic statue to greet you.

Of course, some people might think hellhole applies to New Jersey in general. But this one has demonic statue to greet you.

19. Come to Wisconsin, home of the world’s largest cheese.

Now that is a hell of a lot of cheese. You have to think of the cows whose milk went to its production.

Now that is a hell of a lot of cheese. You have to think of the cows whose milk went to its production.

20. Of course it’s not every day you find a flying jackalope.

So there's more than one kind of jackalope? Had no idea. Still, this consists of a rabbit, small antlers, and pheasant wing and tail.

So there’s more than one kind of jackalope? Had no idea. Still, this consists of a rabbit, small antlers, and pheasant wing and tail.

21. Come to Rogue River, Oregon, home of the National Rooster Crowing Contest.

Marked by an enormous rooster statue. Has a plumage of green and gold unlike most roosters. Perhaps it symbolizes Rogue River's profits.

Marked by an enormous rooster statue. Has a plumage of green and gold unlike most roosters. Perhaps it symbolizes Rogue River’s profits.

22. In Bemidji, Minnesota, stop by at Morrell’s Chippewa Trading Post.

Sorry, but that wolf looks so demented at the moment that you can't take it seriously. Apparently this place isn't known for its taxidermy.

Sorry, but that wolf looks so demented at the moment that you can’t take it seriously. Apparently this place isn’t known for its taxidermy.

23. Look super hip in Valerie’s “Young Look” belt.

From Bad Postcards: "Looks like she’s trying to put on her best model face while hiding the need to barf up all the bacon and pancakes and syrup being squeezed out of her gut." Also doesn't seem very enthusiastic about having her picture taken.

From Bad Postcards: “Looks like she’s trying to put on her best model face while hiding the need to barf up all the bacon and pancakes and syrup being squeezed out of her gut.” Also doesn’t seem very enthusiastic about having her picture taken.

24. “Uh, dude, can you uncoil me for a moment. You’re kind of suffocating me right now.”

Because strangling is how snakes kill large prey. Still, I have no idea why anyone would want to put that statue on a postcard. It's just crazy.

Because strangling is how snakes kill large prey. Still, I have no idea why anyone would want to put that statue on a postcard. It’s just crazy.

25. From Mansfield, Ohio is country music guitarist Tex Forman.

From Bad Postcards: "Tex, if you’d like to break into a larger market, start by emblazoning your name on your instrument with something other than electrical tape." Yeah, that kind of looks very cheap.

From Bad Postcards: “Tex, if you’d like to break into a larger market, start by emblazoning your name on your instrument with something other than electrical tape.” Yeah, that kind of looks very cheap.

26. “Okay, Snowflake, what is it this time?”

Didn't know Santa even had a white reindeer. Why didn't they even tell us about this?

Didn’t know Santa even had a white reindeer. Why didn’t they even tell us about this?

27. “A portrait grows in value to you.”

Maybe, but that doesn't stop this girl seeming quite creepy. Maybe this was taken when they were searching for actresses for Rhoda in The Bad Seed.

Maybe, but that doesn’t stop this girl seeming quite creepy. Maybe this was taken when they were searching for actresses for Rhoda in The Bad Seed.

28. “What’s that your pointing to, Lucifer?”

Because that's impression I get when I see this. Still, Satan seems like he's some sort of crazy guy you might watch on Game of Thrones.

Because that’s impression I get when I see this. Still, Satan seems like he’s some sort of crazy guy you might watch on Game of Thrones.

29. In Spokane, Washington, feel free to look at the world’s largest bear.

Uh, couldn't he just take a picture of it and hang it somewhere? Seriously, why he kill it as a trophy? Something tells me he might be compensating for something.

Uh, couldn’t he just take a picture of it and hang it somewhere? Seriously, why he kill it as a trophy? Something tells me he might be compensating for something.

30. Linville Caverns always contain beautiful stalagmite formations.

There's nothing like going into a cave dressed in your trench and pearls. Or as I call it, something you shouldn't wear in a cave.

There’s nothing like going into a cave dressed in your trench and pearls. Or as I call it, something you shouldn’t wear in a cave.

31. It’s always pleasant to have a portrait made at Hess Brothers.

However, this kid might not share that opinion. Because he doesn't really seem to be smiling.

However, this kid might not share that opinion. Because he doesn’t really seem to be smiling. More like wanting to get out of there.

32. Nothing makes a romantic evening like listening to Enzo Stuarti.

From Bad Postcards: "The guys at the table seem more enamored of Enzo than the women. Where’s the band?" When you think about it, it seems about right.

From Bad Postcards: “The guys at the table seem more enamored of Enzo than the women. Where’s the band?” When you think about it, it seems about right.

33. Welcome to Ole’s Big Game Lounge in Paxton, Nebraska.

Guess Ole seems quite proud that he shot all these African animals before they were on the Endangered Species list. Still, the taxidermy is kind of unnerving.

Guess Ole seems quite proud that he shot all these African animals before they were on the Endangered Species list. Still, the taxidermy is kind of unnerving.

34. Here we have a recreation of John Adams, Thomas Jefferson, and Benjamin Franklin working on the Declaration of Independence.

For some reason Benjamin Franklin wasn't feeling so well today. But knowing that such task was so important for the country, he showed up to Independence Hall anyway.

For some reason Benjamin Franklin wasn’t feeling so well today. But knowing that such task was so important for the country, he showed up to Independence Hall anyway.

35. “Okay, guys, shall we proceed with the battering ram exercises?”

Actually this is a bunch of marines at Parris Island doing a log lifting exercise. And all in unflattering fitness attire.

Actually this is a bunch of marines at Parris Island doing a log lifting exercise. And all in unflattering fitness attire.

36. “We will be glad to pick you up for Sunday School next Sunday.”

Mr. Harris would be happy to drive Timmy there in his windowless van. Oh, God, I'm horrible.

Mr. Harris would be happy to drive Timmy there in his windowless van. Oh, God, I’m horrible.

37. “I always want to look my best whenever I go to the farmer’s market.”

Because the farmer's market is the place where women dress up in furs, gloves, and fine jewelry. Don't forget to top it off with a tiara.

Because the farmer’s market is the place where women dress up in furs, gloves, and fine jewelry. Don’t forget to top it off with a tiara.

38. All hail to the almighty beach ball of Calamari.

Another marine training session at Parris Island, South Carolina. You have to admit that these guys aren't afraid to look utterly ridiculous.

Another marine training session at Parris Island, South Carolina. You have to admit that these guys aren’t afraid to look utterly ridiculous.

39. Welcome to the bank of the future.

That's a bank? I kind of liken it to if Emperor Palpatine's vacation home was designed by Frank Lloyd Wright.

That’s a bank? I kind of liken it to if Emperor Palpatine’s vacation home was designed by Frank Lloyd Wright.

40. Greetings from the North Pole from Santa Claus.

For some reason, I think having this postcard from some place in upstate New York instead of the North Pole might lead to childhood disillusionment. Mostly because a lot of kids don't imagine Santa living in upstate New York.

For some reason, I think having this postcard from some place in upstate New York instead of the North Pole might lead to childhood disillusionment. Mostly because a lot of kids don’t imagine Santa living in some town in upstate New York.

41. “Missed me, guys?”

Yes, I've put a lot of bad wax Jesus in these vintage postcard posts. However, this one stands out because he seems to have a goatee.

Yes, I’ve put a lot of bad wax Jesus in these vintage postcard posts. However, this one stands out because he doesn’t seem to have the kind of arm stretching emotion that comes with resurrection.

42. Today Smokey the Bear and Flippy the Fire Porpoise will discuss fire safety.

Of course, putting out a fire is easier if its surrounded by water. And you a dolphin extinguish it.

Of course, putting out a fire is easier if its surrounded by water. And you a dolphin extinguish it. Where’s the educational value in that?

43. Here a Sioux Native American plays his drum at Mt. Rushmore.

While Mt. Rushmore is referred to in this postcard as, "Shrine of Democracy," most Native Americans see it as a "shrine to white people kicking us out, taking over our land, and desecrating our sacred sites." Bet you never heard that before.

While Mt. Rushmore is referred to in this postcard as, “Shrine of Democracy,” most Native Americans see it as a “shrine to white people kicking us out, taking over our land, and desecrating our sacred sites.” Bet you never heard that before.

44. Here we come to a woman standing on a wall.

I doubt that she's managed to defy gravity. However, her checkered pants seem to defy fashion.

I doubt that she’s managed to defy gravity. However, her checkered pants seem to defy fashion.

45. For a Badlands visit, check out Toadstool Forest in South Dakota.

Though the name is Toadstool Forest, it's not a forest nor does anything there resemble a toadstool. Yet, that one rock does resemble a giant rabbit.

Though the name is Toadstool Forest, it’s not a forest nor does anything there resemble a toadstool. Yet, that one rock does resemble a giant rabbit.

46. Along Wyoming’s Lincoln Highway, you’ll find a high statue of the Great Emancipator.

Now I wonder why they decided to go with Lincoln's head instead of the rest of him. I don't understand it. Bad Postcards said it, "Makes him look like a psychopath."

Now I wonder why they decided to go with Lincoln’s head instead of the rest of him. I don’t understand it. Bad Postcards said it, “Makes him look like a psychopath.”

47. Jesus Christ is always with you, even when you’re scuba diving in Florida.

Guess you can say that Jesus is literally swimming with the fishes here. Though he seems to have his arms outstretched more than anything.

Guess you can say that Jesus is literally with the fishes here. Though he seems to have his arms outstretched more than anything.

48. Never thought I’d come across a roadside dinosaur before.

This is from South Dakota by the way. I know it's not as cool as you'd see in Jurassic Park. Still, some states seem to have a thing for large animal statues.

This is from South Dakota by the way. I know it’s not as cool as you’d see in Jurassic Park. Still, some states seem to have a thing for large animal statues.

49. Paul Bunyan and Robin Hood are together at the Enchanted Forest.

And here's Robin Hood complaining about Paul Bunyan's stiffness and bad fashion sense. The two do not get on.

And here’s Robin Hood complaining about Paul Bunyan’s stiffness and bad fashion sense. The two do not get on.

50. Take a picturesque view of Silver Bridge which collapsed into the Ohio River.

Caption: "WORST U.S. HIGHWAY BRIDGE DISASTER IN HISTORY — Occurred Dec. 15, 1967 when Silver Bridge collapsed. It carried U.S. 35 from Knauga, Ohio to Point Pleasant, W. Va. Built 1928 of unique eye-bar and rocker tower design. Forty-six bodies have been found and two still missing. Railroad bridge in background is still in use." Really? This is just in really bad taste.

Caption: “WORST U.S. HIGHWAY BRIDGE DISASTER IN HISTORY — Occurred Dec. 15, 1967 when Silver Bridge collapsed. It carried U.S. 35 from Knauga, Ohio to Point Pleasant, W. Va. Built 1928 of unique eye-bar and rocker tower design. Forty-six bodies have been found and two still missing. Railroad bridge in background is still in use.” Really? This is just in really bad taste.

51. You may have seen St. Louis’s Gateway Arch, but have you been inside it?

Caption: “A roomy observation platform at the top of the Gateway Arch offers 32 windows for viewing a thirty mile panorama of Missouri and Illinois.” However, why they decided to take the rear view of the tourists, I have no idea.

Caption: “A roomy observation platform at the top of the Gateway Arch offers 32 windows for viewing a thirty mile panorama of Missouri and Illinois.” However, why they decided to take the rear view of the tourists, I have no idea.

52. Come over to New England and visit the great state of Massachusetts.

Sorry, but that does not look like Massachusetts. That's shaped like North Dakota with a hook.

Sorry, but that does not look like Massachusetts. That’s shaped like North Dakota with a hook.

53. For your 4th of July celebration, Pedro’s Nutte House has the fireworks you’ll need.

Just don't shoot fireworks on his turf. Also, I think they need to take the, "t" and "e" out of "nutte."

Just don’t shoot fireworks on his turf. Also, I think they need to take the, “t” and “e” out of “nutte.” Not to mention, the sombrero does not help at all.

54. Stay awhile at the Mt. Sunapee Motel in New Hampshire.

Yeah, there's a place called Sunapee. I know it stirs giggles. Also, note the bikini clad woman who just got out of a pool.

Yeah, there’s a place called Sunapee. I know it stirs giggles. Also, note the bikini clad woman who just got out of a pool.

55. Spain’s Juan Ponce de Leon was in search for the Fountain of Youth while he discovered Florida in 1513.

Sure this is a rather tacky and historically inaccurate statue of Ponce de Leon with a swimsuit model. But for Florida, this is just so ironically appropriate.

Sure this is a rather tacky and historically inaccurate statue of Ponce de Leon with a swimsuit model. But for Florida, this is just so ironically appropriate.

56. Big Brother Bob Emery wants kids to drink 4 glasses of United Farmers milk every day.

Now this just has to be one of the creepiest milk ads I've seen. So, kids, drink your milk because Big Brother is watching you.

Now this just has to be one of the creepiest milk ads I’ve seen. So, kids, drink your milk because Big Brother is watching you.

57. Had better dining before? How about try the Beacon Shack?

Sure it's a complete shithole and the food is lousy. But, c'mon, at least they're being honest.

Sure it’s a complete shithole and the food is lousy. But, c’mon, at least they’re being honest.

58. There’s nothing like having a carefree day on the beach.

Can't do a postcard post without a woman in a swimsuit like this one. Of course, why she brought a thin cloth to raise above her head, I have no idea.

Can’t do a postcard post without a woman in a swimsuit like this one. Of course, why she brought a thin cloth to raise above her head, I have no idea.

59. Here we come to a tri-state view of Nebraska, South Dakota, and Iowa.

I know you can't really tell the where each state is in this postcard. Well, neither can I. Perhaps a map might be handy.

I know you can’t really tell the where each state is in this postcard. Well, neither can I. Perhaps a map might be handy.

60. Greetings from Liberal, Kansas, pancake hub of the universe.

Well, at least these women aren't wearing bikinis. But what the hell does this scene have to do with pancakes?

Well, at least these women aren’t wearing bikinis. But what the hell does this scene have to do with pancakes?

61. Here we come to some sagebrush which is the state flower of Nevada.

Caption: "This beautiful scene of sagebrush with its colorful pink blossoms is a common sight in the southwest. It stretches as far as the eye can see and besides being beautiful, has practical purposes, as deer and other wildlife feed on it. Sagebrush blooms only after a heavy rain but will bloom in any season. It’s referred to as Cenizo by many Anglos as well as Latin Americans." When you read the caption, you're expecting to see something more spectacular than brown, desert foliage.

Caption: “This beautiful scene of sagebrush with its colorful pink blossoms is a common sight in the southwest. It stretches as far as the eye can see and besides being beautiful, has practical purposes, as deer and other wildlife feed on it. Sagebrush blooms only after a heavy rain but will bloom in any season. It’s referred to as Cenizo by many Anglos as well as Latin Americans.” When you read the caption, you’re expecting to see something more spectacular than brown, desert foliage.

62. Meet President Lyndon B. Johnson and his wife Ladybird at the White House.

Tumblr member from Bad Postcards: "While the female figure bears some resemblance to Lady Bird, the man hardly looks like LBJ at all. He looks almost more..." Uh, like a psychokiller.

Tumblr member from Bad Postcards: “While the female figure bears some resemblance to Lady Bird, the man hardly looks like LBJ at all. He looks almost more…” Uh, like a psychokiller.

63. Welcome to Cyanmid Laboratories, here are your escorts to show you around.

I think the correct term is "tour guide" escort is another term for prostitute. Also, these outfits are hideous.

I think the correct term is “tour guide” escort is another term for prostitute. Also, these outfits are hideous.

64. There’s nothing better than watering your plants with a blowtorch.

Okay, it's a mister with a jetpack for watering plants. Still, the card say this mist blower gives deep penetration and steady output.

Okay, it’s a mister with a jetpack for watering plants. Still, the card say this mist blower gives deep penetration and steady output.

65. Pennsylvania welcomes you to Gifford Pinchot State Park.

And it seems that this place is starving for tourists since it has swimsuit clad women at the sign. Guess there's nothing to see there.

And it seems that this place is starving for tourists since it has swimsuit clad women at the sign. Guess there’s nothing exciting to see there unless you’re a nature lover.

66. How about spend a day at Pennsylvania’s Monroeville shopping center?

Known for its vast picturesque parking space. Just look at all the untamed streetlights and asphalt.

Known for its vast picturesque parking space. Just look at all the untamed streetlight, concrete, and asphalt.

67. Greetings from Kansas, home of a very long building.

Really Kansas? Surely your state must have something more interesting than an over 1/2 mile long building.

Really Kansas? Surely your state must have something more interesting than an over 1/2 mile long building.

68. Here we see a black bear in its natural habitat in New York’s Central Adirondacks.

So let me get this straight, the Central Adirondacks' idea of promoting tourism is a postcard of a dumpster diving bear. As Bad Postcards says, "We’re on vacation! Let’s go to the dump!"

So let me get this straight, the Central Adirondacks’ idea of promoting tourism is a postcard of a dumpster diving bear. As Bad Postcards says, “We’re on vacation! Let’s go to the dump!”

69. The Sterling Hotel at Greenwood Lake, New York presents the All Girl Topless Band.

I'm sure their performances were not suited for a PG-13 audience. Makes you wonder what kind of place the Sterling Hotel is.

I’m sure their performances were not suited for a PG-13 audience. Makes you wonder what kind of place the Sterling Hotel is. I know I don’t always show nudity but I can’t pass this one up. Best known for their fanservice.

70. Howdy from Nebraska where we herd cattle on our giant jackrabbits.

One of the reasons why cowboys ride on jackrabbits in Nebraska was because the state was once the sight of a large Native American nuclear power plant which suffered a major meltdown. That's why the rabbits are so huge out there.

One of the reasons why cowboys ride on jackrabbits in Nebraska was because the state was once the sight of a large Native American nuclear power plant which suffered a major meltdown. That’s why the rabbits are so huge out there.

The Wonderful World of Architecture (Third Edition)

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If you live in the Eastern United States like me, chances are that you’re cooped up in your home due to an epic blizzard. So that probably leaves you with not much to do this weekend as far as you know it. Of course, that leaves me with some time to come up with something quick. And I have just the thing another post on architecture. You’re probably familiar with how some of the great architectural wonders are celebrated. You’ve probably seen pictures of the Pyramids, the Taj Mahal, the US Capitol, Saint Peter’s, the Parthenon, and more. I myself had been to Mount Vernon and Monticello, homes of Presidents George Washington and Thomas Jefferson. And both are architectural wonders in their own right. Nevertheless, I can talk to you all you want about the world’s great architectural wonders but you’ll probably be bored to tears since you’re most likely already familiar with them. So instead, I’ll give you a showcase of some of the world’s architectural blunders, which are structures that have achieved fame for being incredibly hideous and for polluting the landscape with their terrible aesthetics. You’ll find plenty of examples relating to modern architecture, particularly in Asian and Middle Eastern countries as well as the former Soviet Union. Latin America and Oceania aren’t very far behind either. So without further adieu, I bring you another treasure trove of great architectural blunders.

  1. I guess this must be a skyscraper straight out of Dr. Seuss or Jules Verne.
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This is called the Hundertwasser Turm which is in Germany. I think it might be an apartment building. Nevertheless, wouldn’t be surprised if it resembles Captain Nemo’s home on land.

2. Guess the aliens have a place to refuel their spacecraft after all.

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This is a gas station, by the way. But it’s in Slovakia. Either way, the architecture on this is totally out of this world.

3. So I guess this must be Nintendo headquarters.

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Yes, this is building is in Japan. However, it’s an apartment building with reversible pods. But yes, it does seem like something you’d see in a Nintendo video game.

4. No, I don’t think that’s where Lex Luthor has his corporate headquarters. Though I could be mistaken.

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This is the bank of China building. It’s in Hong Kong. Nevertheless, it seems to draw inspiration from the architectural styles of Metropolis and Mordor.

5. Behold, I feast my eyes on the world’s largest shampoo bottle.

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It’s one of Nagoya’s Mode-Gauken Spiral Towers which are in Japan. They’re home to 3 vocational schools. However, I tend to find a building hard to take seriously since it resembles a large bottle of expensive shampoo.

6. Guess we have to dig under all that wrapping paper to save this building.

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Wait, it’s supposed to look like that? Yes, this is another disasterpiece eyesore designed by Frank Gehry. It’s called El Hotel Marques de Riscal which is in Spain. But it seems like the place where a giant disposed his wrapping paper.

7. Looks like we found ourselves amongst a gigantic loudspeaker.

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This is the building for the Mauritius Commercial Bank. It’s in the nation of Mauritius which is an island in the Indian Ocean and former home of the Dodo. Still, you’d expect this building to ask whether you’d want fries with your burger.

8. Seems like this building has fallen over like a row of dominoes.

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This is called the Polaria which is in Tromso, Norway. It’s the northernmost aquarium in the world. No, there’s nothing wrong with the building. It was constructed that way.

9. In Cameroon, you’re bound to see a monument of a gigantic screwdriver.

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It’s called the Monument of Reunification. But to some people, it might resemble, a curling snake, a turd, or the end of a screw driver.

10. In Japan, they call this the Mode Gakuen Cocoon Tower in Tokyo.

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It’s called that because many people think it resembles a cocoon. However, to me, it resembles a female body part that I may not be able to mention in front of a G-rated audience.

11. If Cinderizilla fits into this glass slipper, does this mean she gets to marry her Tyrannosaurus Rex?

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This is a church in Taiwan. Apparently they designed it like a shoe in hopes to attract more female worshippers. However, I’m sure it’s bound to attract a lot more female tourists.

12. Okay, what the hell is that thing and does it eat people?

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This the Tenerife Opera House in the Spanish Canary Islands. And no, it doesn’t seafaring humans for breakfast. You’re thinking about a different sea monster.

13. Okay, what’s this? Some upscale restaurant in Mos Eisley or Jabba the Hutt’s vacation home?

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This is called Le Corbusier’s Cité Radieuse. I think it’s supposed to be a house in France. Nevertheless, I think this kind of modern architecture seems to come straight from Tatooine.

14. In Dubai, it seems that the aliens have not built their own skyscraper.

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This is called the Rose Tower Hotel in Dubai, UAE. It’s supposed to be the tallest hotel in the world. But it sure ain’t the prettiest.

15. This building is called the Swan Bell Tower in Perth, Australia.

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Okay, it’s a tower. But it looks nothing like a swan or a bell. In fact, I think a more appropriate name would be, “The Bobkin Tower” since it resembles the kind of instrument people used to stab accused witches with.

16. It’s only a matter of time until it’s all set for liftoff.

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As my first specimen on Soviet architecture for this post, I bring you the Ostankino Tower in Moscow, erected in 1967. It’s the tallest freestanding structure in Europe. It’s a TV and Radio tower.

17. Don’t look now but I think these cars are about to be swallowed up by a concrete tornado.

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I’m sure the cars are safe. This is the Midrand Water Tower in South Africa. Not sure why it’s constructed like some concrete tornado or a spacecraft.

18. So I guess these are accommodations for Imperial Stormtroopers.

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This is the Balfron Tower, which was designed by the architect Erno Goldfinger who inspired the most famous Bond villain. Not surprisingly, Ian Fleming hated his guts.

19. So I guess this building has a giant black monster sitting on it.

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My mistake, that’s the Pablo Serrano museum in Zaragoza, Spain. Still, I don’t know about you, but I’m increasingly worried about where Spain’s architecture is heading these days.

20. Seems like the apartment buildings in Whoville are getting weirder and weirder these days.

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Oh, wait, this one is in Tel Aviv. It might be a hotel or residence, many aren’t exactly sure. Still, from how I look at it, walking up its stairs must be a real pain in the neck.

21. Seems like this building is infested with fungus.

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Wait a minute those are balconies? It’s in Grenoble, France. Still, I think this building would be way better off if those balconies were removed.

22. Wonder which sci-fi villain owns this building.

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This is the Hotel President that’s in the Ivory Coast. It’s marketed as a luxury resort. But certainly doesn’t look like one. More like something from the Soviet Union.

23. Oh, no, someone’s blown up a building!

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Okay, this wasn’t bombed by terrorists. But it was designed by Frank Gehry. Not sure what’s worse or why the guy thought it was a good idea.

24. Now that’s a very bendy lighthouse.

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Not sure what this building is supposed to be. But if it’s a lighthouse, then it’s a rather ugly one at that.

25. Guess this place is a vacation home for a more rustic sci-fi villain.

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This is a vineyard building in La Guardia Spain. It’s called Bodegas Ysios. Kind of reminds me of a church and some Bond villain residence.

26. I think I found a place to land a spaceship.

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This is called the Namaste Hotel in India. But it resembles a spaceship coming from the ground nose up. And the crazy pattern just doesn’t help matters.

27. If Kylo Ren had a yacht, I think it would look like this.

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Of course, it would be smaller than this. But hey, it’s just aesthetics. Still, this is a museum in Milwaukee. Not sure why some museums don’t seem to have great architectural taste.

28. Sometimes the design of a structure makes you wonder how people get through it.

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This building is called the Atomium. It’s in Brussels. It was built during the 1950s. Still, not sure how you navigate this thing inside.

29. Abandoned jewelry store, or a Mos Eisley cantina al fresco?

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It’s actually a brutalistic water tower in France. So unlike some of the other buildings here, it has a better excuse to be ugly. After all, water towers are supposed to fire for function, not effect.

30. Now this building gives “Pottery Barn” a whole new meaning.

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Sorry, but this isn’t a Pottery Barn. It’s an art museum in the American West, I think. So the only place you can buy stuff is probably the souvenir shop.

31. For all you die hard Star Trek fans out there, I finally got a picture of Starfleet headquarters.

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Sorry, Trekkies. Buildut this is the chapel for the United States Air Force. My mistake. Please forgive me.

32. This building in Doha, Qatar is known as the Tornado Tower.

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More like the “Finger Trap Tower” in my book. Seriously, does anyone in Qatar know what a tornado looks like? This isn’t it.

33. If President Snow had a vacation home, I bet it would resemble this.

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Well, if President Snow’s vacation home would be in a poorer district with a lovely terrain. Perhaps Districts 6-8? Nevertheless, I think this might be a library in Germany.

34. Behold, I give you the world’s largest clam.

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This is called the City of Arts and Sciences. According to Pinterest, it “is a unique complex devoted to scientific and cultural dissemination, including an interactive science museum, aquarium, planetarium, IMAX cinema and performing arts center.”

35. Wonder how many seconds to blastoff this rocket is.

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It’s a building in Japan. Not sure what it’s for. However, the design isn’t that bad. The color on the other hand…

36. When it comes to new additions, sometimes it doesn’t always work.

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Of course, this building in Britain would’ve turned much better if they had stuck with the original style. Don’t know what this building is used for. Jailing Bond villains?

37. I bet the inspiration for this building was the head of a Soviet style safety razor.

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Wait a minute, I don’t think this is a Soviet building. I think the words on this are written in English. Still, It’s a terribly eyesore of the brutalist structure. And it resembles a razor head.

38. Sometimes a church doesn’t always look very immaculate.

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This seems to be the combination of a church and a 1950s diner. Doesn’t work well from an architectural aesthetic standpoint.

39. Let me guess, this building must be used to produce military weapons of some sort.

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Oh, wait, it’s the Nanohana-Kan Senior Center which is in Japan. Still, I don’t think a building design inspired by the Hindenburg disaster is a welcome place for old people. But that’s just me.

40. I call these buildings the plastic kettles from IKEA.

Top 10 ugly buildings around the world

These are buildings from Sheffield Hallam University in Sheffield, UK. But to me, they resemble the ugliest kettles you’d get from IKEA. Well, if they carry them.

41. If we add triangles on the roofs, this building will look much prettier.

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Sorry, but all I think the triangles will do for this building is make it look so silly that it’ll be the laughingstock of the block. Yeah, that looks pretty stupid.

42. If Salvador Dali made a living designing prisons, they would look like this.

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This is the Guggenheim Museum in Bilbao, Spain, which features modern art. It was designed by Frank Gehry. Nevertheless, it makes Alcatraz seem like a sunny place.

43. Guess this what a beehive looks when a beekeeper smokes some bees with cannabis.

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This is an art museum in Mexico. You think they’d design a place that doesn’t resemble a weird golden stump. But you were wrong.

44. I guess this is a temple dedicated to the all great and powerful Zod.

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This was the Slovakia Radio Tower. It was built during the Soviet era and took 16 years to build since it’s upside down. But yeah, it resembles a sci-fi temple all right.

45. When it comes to windows, portholes are always the right choice.

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Well, if those portholes are on a boat. If they’re on buildings, that’s just stupid. Nevertheless, this is the Hotel Topazz in Vienna.

46. If Kylo Ren built a shrine to Darth Vader, it would probably look like this.

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This is called the Russian State Scientific Center for Robotics and Technical Cybernetics. It’s in Saint Petersburg, And yes, it’s looks pretty evil all right and built during the Soviet era.

47. If you saw a building like this, you have to wonder whether the Soviets had an equivalent to Lincoln Logs.

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During the Soviet Era, this was the building for the Ministry of Highways. Today, it’s a commercial bank in Georgia. Yet, it almost seems photoshopped. It’s not.

48. Paper bags are certainly useful. However, it’s potential for artistic inspiration isn’t one of them.

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This is another Gehry disasterpiece. It’s a business school in Sydney, Australia. A woman from The Sydney Herald calls him the Kim Kardashian of contemporary architecture, all curves, no content. She has a point.

49. Oh, no, it’s a robotic space monster! Everyone, run for your lives!

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My mistake, it’s the Linda Haiyu Plaza in Beijing, China. It’s said to resemble a fish. However, I think it looks like a large, maneating, robotic caterpillar.

50. Behold, I give you the world’s largest sinking donut.

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This is the Sheraton Hotel in Huzhou, China. It’s said to be based on the city’s ancient bridges. But I think the inspiration was something the architect ate at Dunkin’ Donuts.

51. I guess they call this place “The Island of the Spotted Shampoo Bottles.”

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These are hotels at Phoenix Island. It’s a luxury resort area in Sanya, China. Nevertheless, these skyscrapers are just hideous.

52. If you like buildings that resemble presents in ugly wrapping paper, then this one is for you.

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This is the Birmingham Library in the UK. Yes, it resembles some of the tackiest wrapping paper. But at least it has the books inside going for it.

53. I guess this is supposed to be a recreation center for the Galactic Empire.

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My mistake, this is the National Royal Theater in London. You’d think Britain would go for a more respectable looking theatrical venue design. But not during the 1970s.

54. This is called Mirador Building in Madrid, possibly inspired by Lego.

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From The Richest: “Whoever designed this seriously needs to reconsider their career path and whoever commissioned this design must have been briefly out of their minds! Did the team behind this have kids and just watched those kids play Lego? It appears to have been thrown together at the last minute to poke fun at the Spanish capital’s sky line.”

55. So I guess this must be the Galactic Empire’s maximum security prison.

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Oh, wait, this is Trump Place in New York City. Commissioned and funded by Mr. Orange Cotton Candy Hair himself. Nevertheless, this is one building I wouldn’t mind birds using as a toilet.

56. Surrealist prison or sci-fi villain office space?

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This is the Cooper Union building in New York City. It’s an engineering school. Nevertheless, it’s said to be one of the city’s ugliest and it shows. Style would’ve worked better for a prison.

57. Oh, great, an oil refinery. What could be interesting about that?

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Okay, this is just the University Hospital in Aachen, Germany. It’s the largest hospital in Europe that just happens to look like an oil refinery. Nevertheless, the exterior views can’t be good for the patients.

58. I guess the inspiration for this German building came from inside a car.

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This is the Bierpinsel in Berlin, Germany. It’s a restaurant and nightclub that was built in the 1970s and even had a disco. Nowadays, people put graffiti on it that doesn’t help its appearance.

59. Sometimes what looks good in Lego doesn’t hold up in real life.

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This is the Edward R. Roybal Learning Center in Los Angeles. It’s the most expensive American school ever built at $377 million. Said to take 20 years to construct. Not sure if it’s worth it.

60. When it comes to vintage patterns, there’s a reason why some of them become real eyesores.

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This is the Kaden Tower of Louisville, Kentucky. It was built in 1966. Nevertheless, it would’ve looked better without the fancy windows. That’s just tacky.

61. Apparently, someone took, “upon this rock, I will build my church,” a bit too literally.

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From Oddee: “Built between 1968 and 1973 this building, The Pilgrimage Church in Neviges, Germany, made designer Gottfried Bohm a household name and the eyesore was considered his most important work, makes you wonder what the rest of his stuff looks like. “

62. When it comes to vacation homes, this would be perfect for Darth Vader.

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This is the Mustafa Kanat Camii in Turkey. It’s called the Darth Vader mosque for obvious reasons. Said to be kitschy that it’s almost cute.

63. Sometimes luxurious hotels don’t always add glitz and glamour in some people’s minds.

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This is the Ritz Carlton in Istanbul. Yes, it’s rather phallic looking and completely out of sync with its surroundings. For many this is considered the city’s ugliest building since it can’t be avoided from view.

64. I guess this is a space age weapons facility by the looks of it.

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My bad, it’s actually the Nord Bank in Hannover, Germany. Nevertheless, why Germany seems to have so many ugly buildings these days, I have no idea.

65. Sometimes bright colors make a building look better. Sometimes worse.

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This is a movie park in Wuhan in China. Nevertheless, it seems like a place where you’d find the minions of Despicable Me hanging out.

66. Run down greenhouse or high class slum?

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It’s actually called Pimlico Academy which is in London. It was built in 1970. Still, the first thing I’d do to this building is give it a paint job.

67. I guess this is minion headquarters.

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My mistake, it’s the Hardenburg Town Hall in the Netherlands. Said to be the ugliest building in the country. And they’re not kidding.

68. Seems like this building has leaves of many different colors.

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This is Motison Tower. It’s a shopping mall in India. Kind of tacky but whatever is on the roof is bound to get people’s attentions.

69. Oh, shit, I think I just discovered the pink Monticello. And it’s hideous.

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This is the Nehru building in India which is used as a government office. Nevertheless, I think Nehru deserved better than having a building named after him that’s a Monticello of Pepto Bismol pink.

70. Let me guess, another ugly church, right?

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My mistake, it’s Hong Kong’s Cultural Center. Yes, it looks as if it’s made from cardboard boxes. But that’s beside the point.

71. From how I see it, this could be a Vegas hotel, Vegas casino, or a Vegas shopping mall.

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Sorry, but it’s really the Central Library of Hong Kong. It’s a mishmash of Post-Modern and Neoclassical styles. Or styles that should never be embodied in the same building ever.

72. I guess this is where the aliens dock and unload.

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This is the MAC Niteroi which was built in the 1990s. Its a contemporary art museum in Rio de Janeiro. Makes me disappointed that you don’t see little green men coming out of it.

73. Oh, goodie, I think I just stumbled on NSA headquarters.

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Oh, wait the NSA building in Washington doesn’t look like that. This is the PMTC Building which is in Fairfax, New Zealand. It’s a medical building to my surprise.

74. Oh, look, a cruise ship. Oh, wait a minute…

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This is actually the Sun Cruise Resort in South Korea. The cruise ship is really a hotel. But on the bright side, no chance of seasickness or sinking.

75. Behold, mortals will be vaporized by this building’s massive, unstoppable, death ray.

Parliament House, Canberra

Okay this is the Australian Parliament building in Canberra. Nevertheless, it can also look as if the building is being grabbed by a large divine claw machine.

76. Man, I didn’t know that Kylo Ren has such a luxurious vacation palace.

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Oh, wait this is Nicolae Ceaușescu’s People’s Palace in Romania. He was Romania’s mad totalitarian dictator who led one of the most brutal and repressive regimes of the Eastern Bloc. He basically starved his people who had to violently remove him. Luckily he was shot by firing squad.

77. Because artistic inspiration has to consist of a bunch of blocks inside a ball of chicken wire.

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This is the Daejeon Museum of Art in South Korea. Yes, it kind of resembles tumbleweed and a mangled fence. But I didn’t design the thing.

78. Okay, what did I say? No pictures of junkyards. This is a bunch of pipes lying around.

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Okay, this is actually the Hefei Art Museum in China. Yes, I know it looks like a bunch of pipes piled together. But you’d be wrong.

79. Ladies and gentlemen, I give you Fountain Pen Tower.

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This is the Aspire Tower in Doha, Qatar. But at night it lights up and resembles some modern looking fountain pen. Too bad it doesn’t have ink.

80. Is this a skyscraper pyramid or a gigantic vacuum?

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This is the Vitra Design Museum in Dakar, Senegal. Seems like one of those sci-fi villain lairs. Particularly the place Mr. Evil Overlord goes when his wife kicks him out of their palace.

In These Haunted United States – Part 5: South Dakota to Wyoming

So we’ve come to the end. Hope you had a good time reading these as I have had writing them. Now throughout the series, we’ve seen haunted houses, haunted hotels, hallowed battlefields, paranormal prisons, creepy mental asylums, and what have you. Of course, some of you might go for the ghostly legends that might make it hard for you to sleep at night. But if you’re like me, you’re probably reading this series on haunted places as an excuse to read something about history at around Halloween. Yes, ghost stories are interesting and some people might really believe them. But while I’m a churchgoing Catholic with politically liberal views, I’m not a believer in the paranormal such as the ghost and monster stuff. I’m not much of a fan of horror movies either, especially the recent slasher ones advertised on TV that seem to suck. But I do love history and I do like talking about places that have some sort of interesting past, ghost stories or not. And I know that a place’s reputation for being haunted might somehow lead to someone wanting to preserve it to attract tourist. Well, unless there’s an Amityville Horror situation involved where the residents want nothing to do with the publicity. Still, in this post, I bring you my final installment of haunted American places. These consist of a hotel in South Dakota owned by a guy you might know from Deadwood, a plantation house in Tennessee owned by a famous country singer, a famous fortress in Texas, a liberal arts college in Utah, a large state university in Vermont, a very old plantation house in Virginia, a hotel in Washington state, a former state penitentiary in West Virginia, an abandoned mansion in Wisconsin, and a former state prison in Wyoming. So for your reading pleasure, here is my last post in my haunted America series.

41. South Dakota

The Bullock Hotel is the oldest one in Deadwood, South Dakota. However, what's even more interesting about it is the man who owned it and is said to still haunt the place. If you're a fan of Deadwood, you might know something about Captain Seth Bullock.

The Bullock Hotel is the oldest one in Deadwood, South Dakota. However, what’s even more interesting about it is the man who owned it and is said to still haunt the place. If you’re a fan of Deadwood, you might know something about Captain Seth Bullock.

Most Haunted Place: Bullock Hotel in Deadwood

History: Opened 1895 by Captain Seth Bullock and it’s the oldest hotel in the city, which he built from a converted warehouse. This after a fire swept Deadwood the previous year and destroyed much of the town and the original 2 story building. Bought by the Ayres family in 1976 who converted it to a hardware store. However, in 1991, was sold to Bullock Properties who restored and converted the place back to a hotel as much as modern safety standards would allow.

Present Use: It’s still a hotel but it only has 28 of its original 63 rooms. However, it also has a casino and restaurant named Bully’s after Bullock’s friend Teddy Roosevelt. Still, unlike the original structure each room has it’s own bathroom. More expensive rooms are said to contain a Jacuzzi.

Sightings: Well, many have reported hearing voices, seeing apparitions and orbs, and being tapped.

Anyone Famous?: Well, Captain Seth Bullock himself  who was known in life as a lawman, marshal, frontiersman, store owner, horse breeder, hotel owner, and investor. He was also a Rough Rider during the Spanish American War. He’s actually said to do most of the haunting according to guests, workers, and employees. He’s mostly amiable and acts like he owns the place but is said to shatter plates and glasses when he’s displeased. Still, he actually died there of colon cancer by the way. Nevertheless, he and his wife Martha are best known as characters from the HBO show Deadwood.

Open to Tourists?: Yes. So if you’re a fan of ghosts and Deadwood, this is your ideal Halloween destination. Also hold ghost tours regularly.

Other Haunts: Alex Johnson Hotel, Mount Marty College, Northern State University, Pine Ridge Old Hospital, Sioux San Hospital, 1880 Hill City Train, Firesteel Coal Mines, Mount Rushmore Brewing Company, Isabel Post Office, Old Keystone Cemetery, Jackpot Bingo Hall, Rock Creek Day School

42. Tennessee

Loretta Lynn still owns this house as well as the town of Hurricane Mills. However, it's still said to be haunted by the ghost of the previous owners as well as Confederate soldiers and slaves.

Loretta Lynn still owns this house as well as the town of Hurricane Mills. However, it’s still said to be haunted by the ghost of the previous owners as well as Confederate soldiers and slaves.

Most Haunted Place: Loretta Lynn Plantation House in Hurricane Mills

History: Built in 1876 by James Anderson who also built the new mill in town. In 1966, Loretta Lynn and her husband Doolittle fell in love with the place where they not just bought the plantation, but also the entire town. Apparently, despite that she swears there were ghosts there, Lynn doesn’t seem to mind so much.

Present Use: The plantation house is more of a museum than anything. Lynn now lives in the house she built behind it, realizing that it would be better used for tourism.

Sightings: It’s said to be haunted by the original owner, a woman in white, as well as ghosts of Confederate soldiers and slaves.

Anyone Famous?: No.

Open to Tourists?: Yes.

Other Haunts: Hurricane Mills itself, Bell Witch Cave, Carnton Mansion, Hales Bar Dam, Isaac Franklin Plantation, Gatlinburg Mysterious Mansion, Orpheum Theatre, Sheraton Read Hotel, Tennessee State Prison, Woodruff-Fontaine House, Chickamauga Battlefield, Stones River Battlefield, Ryman Auditorium, East Tennessee University, Tennessee State Capitol, Rotherwood Mansion

43. Texas

The Alamo is a symbol of Texas as well as the site of the famous battle fought there. However, I'm not sure if you'll find the ghosts of Davy Crockett, Jim Bowie, or William Travis. Didn't really look that up.

The Alamo is a symbol of Texas as well as the site of the famous battle fought there. However, I’m not sure if you’ll find the ghosts of Davy Crockett, Jim Bowie, or William Travis there. Didn’t really look that up.

Most Haunted Place: The Alamo in San Antonio

History: Built in 1744 as the Mission San Antonio de Valero which functioned as a Roman Catholic mission to convert and acculturate Native Americans. But in 1793, the mission was secularized and abandoned. A decade later, it became a military fortress with its unit giving the place its present name. During the Texas Revolution, Mexican General Martin Perfecto de Cos surrendered the fort to the Texian Army in December 1835, following the Siege of Bexar. A small number of Texian soldiers occupied the place for months but were soundly defeated at the Battle of the Alamo in March of 1836. When the Mexican Army retreated from Texas, they tore down many of the Alamo’s walls and burned some its buildings. For subsequent years, the Alamo buildings would be used as a fortress for soldiers, a quarter master’s depot, and even a wholesale grocery store. Thanks to the efforts of the Daughters of the Republic of Texas, particularly Adina Emilia de Zavala and Clara Driscoll, the place was restored.

Present Use: It’s now a UNESCO World Heritage Site, a National Park, and a symbol of Texas. Receives over 4 million visitors each year.

Sightings: Site is reportedly haunted by the people who died there defending the place. Many claimed to have seen apparitions either coming straight through walls or walking along the roof.

Anyone Famous?: Good luck trying to find ghosts of Davy Crockett, Jim Bowie, and William Travis.

Open to Tourists?: Yes. In fact, it’s a huge tourist destination. And they do give ghost tours.

Other Haunts: Devil’s Backbone, Jefferson Davis Hospital in Houston, Houston Zoo, Miss Molly’s Bed and Breakfast, Presidio La Bahia, Catfish Plantation Restaurant, The Grove in Jefferson, Littlefield House, University of Texas in Brownsville, Baker Hotel, Haunted Hill House, La Carafe, Spaghetti Warehouse, Jefferson Hotel, Hotel Galvez, Granbury Opera House, Emily Morgan Hotel, Bragg Road, Elder Street Artist Lofts, Driskill Hotel, White Sanitarium

44. Utah

Originally built by Protestant missionaries to convert the Mormon children, Salt Lake City's Westminster College has been trying to shed its religious past. But it's said to have 7 known ghosts.

Originally built by Protestant missionaries to convert the Mormon children, Salt Lake City’s Westminster College has been trying to shed its religious past. But it’s said to have 7 known ghosts.

Most Haunted Place: Westminster College in Salt Lake City

History: A private liberal arts college established in 1875 and the only accredited one in Utah. Built at a time when Protestants flocked to Utah in order to try converting Mormons so they built private and secondary schools where they offered free tuition. Westminster belonged to the Presbyterian Church until the school officially severed its denominational ties in 1974 and it’s no longer antagonistic to the state’s Mormon establishment. Its campus is known for its natural beauty and elegant architecture. Its mascot is the griffin and its colors are blue and gold. Notable alumni include Olympic skier Maddie Bowman.

Present Use: It’s still a liberal arts college and one of the few in the Intermountain West with no denomination.

Sightings: Said to be haunted by at least 7 known ghosts, spread out over several buildings as well as known for appearing at random, making odd noises, and sometimes touching passersby.

Anyone Famous?: No.

Open to Tourists?: I think it might. You might want to check.

Other Haunts: American Fork Canyon, Clearfield Job Corps Center, Gray Cliff Lodge Restaurant, Kiwanis Park, Roy High School, Voo Doo Caves of Beaver Dam, Forest Farm House at Old Deseret, McCune Mansion, Dove Creek Camp, Southern Utah University, Latuda, Winter Quarters Mine

45. Vermont

The University of Vermont is one of the oldest American public colleges and alma mater to a lot of celebrities including a First Lady. It's also had a colorful history and is said to be a haunt of a lot of ghosts.

The University of Vermont is one of the oldest American public colleges and alma mater to a lot of celebrities including a First Lady. It’s also had a colorful history and is said to be a haunt of a lot of ghosts. Don’t mention the racist winter celebrations though.

Most Haunted Place: University of Vermont in Burlington

History: Established in 1791 and became the state’s sole land grant university in 1862, it’s one of the first public colleges in the country as well as one of the first to admit women and African Americans. However, this didn’t stop them from using the Kakewalk and blackface in their winter celebrations, which was abolished in 1969. They also have a naked bike run at the end of the year. Its mascot is the Catamounts in NCAA Div. I sports. It’s also said to have one of the most selective medical schools in the country. Its first edifice was destroyed by a fire in 1824 and the citizens paid for a replacement with the Marquis de Lafayette laying the cornerstone on what’s now “Old Mill.” In 1924, it held the first radio broadcast in the state. Also has a long history of environmental sustainability. Notable alumni include attorney Consuelo Northup Bailey (first female lawyer to practice before the U.S. Supreme Court), Boston Red Sox pitcher Ray Collins, First Lady Grace Coolidge, philosopher and educator John Dewey, Phish bass player Mike Gordon, Phish guitarist Trey Anastasio, Olympic gold medalist Albert Gutterson, serial killer H. H. Holmes, doctor and American Legion founder Horatio Nelson Jackson, Pulitzer Prize winning author E. Annie Proulx, New York Times co-founder Henry Jarvis Raymond, author and cook Jessica Seinfeld (or Mrs. Jerry Seinfeld), 3-time Stanley Cup champion Patrick Sharp, Nobel Peace Prize Laureate Jody Williams and missionary Samuel Worcester.

Present Use: It’s still a public university to this day.

Sightings: Events reported are poltergeist activity, apparitions, voices, and windows and doors slamming.

Anyone Famous?: No, but there’s a hall named after Grace Coolidge which is said to have few ghosts in it.

Open to Tourists?: Yes.

Other Haunts: Averill Stand Bed and Breakfast, Bennington College, Carbur’s Restaurant, Gold Brook Covered Bridge, White House Inn, Hayden House, Lake Bomoseen, Brattleboro Retreat Tower, Green Mountain Inn, Golden Stage Inn, Shelburne Museum

46. Virginia

Since its establishment, the Ferry Plantation House has been on property that's served as a plantation, courthouse, school, and post office. Was a place of a famous witch trial in 1703 which is honored each year.

Since its establishment, the Ferry Plantation House has been on property that’s served as a plantation, courthouse, school, and post office. Was a place of a famous witch trial in 1703 which is honored each year.

Most Haunted Place: Ferry Plantation House in Virginia Beach

History: Got its name from the ferry service that ran through the Lynnhaven waterway. Current house built in 1830 by slaves of George and Elizabeth McIntosh as well as on a property that’s been used as a plantation, courthouse, school, and post office. It’s said that a woman named Grace Sherwood “the Witch of Pungo” was tried by ducking there in 1703 and it’s now commemorated with a festival in her honor. She was the last person in Virginia to be convicted of witchcraft (but she didn’t die until 1740) All the bricks were from the ruins of the previous mansion built there which was burned two years earlier.

Present Use: It’s now a museum and educational center. It even has a history summer camp to educate youth about 18th and 19th century life.

Sightings: It’s reported to contain no less than 11 spirits reputed to be former owners, children, slaves, people who drowned, and other lost souls. It’s also reported that the lights go on during the night while unoccupied and strange balls of light are seen dancing on the roof.

Anyone Famous?: Artist and General Thomas H. Williamson is said to haunt while wearing a dirty shirt. Alleged witch Grace Sherwood is also said to haunt the premises.

Open to Tourists?: Yes.

Other Haunts: Aquia Church, Ball’s Bluff, Bremo Recess, Manassas National Battlefield, Monticello, Rosewell, Swannanoa Palace, Fort Magruder Hotel, Staunton Train Depot, Paxton Manor, Salubria Manor, Boxwood Inn Bed and Breakfast, Cold Harbor Battlefield, Major Graham’s Mansion, Historic Avenel, Weems-Botts Museum, Historic Jordan Springs, Henricus Historical Park, Exchange Hotel Civil War Hospital Museum, St. Albans Sanatorium

47. Washington

Port Townsend's Palace Hotel is said to house an Egyptian theater, Northern Pacific offices, a grocery store, a state liquor store, a florist shop, and several restaurants. But it's said that its haunted activity stems from it being used as a brothel.

Port Townsend’s Palace Hotel is said to house an Egyptian theater, Northern Pacific offices, a grocery store, a state liquor store, a florist shop, and several restaurants. But it’s said that its haunted activity stems from it being used as a brothel.

Most Haunted Place: The Palace Hotel in Port Townsend

History: Constructed in 1889 by retired sea captain Henry L. Tibbals. Over the years it housed an Egyptian theater, the Northern Pacific offices, a grocery store, a state liquor store, a florist shop, and several restaurants. Its current shape was achieved between 1925 and 1933 and it was operated as a brothel and hotel at the time. Has 19 rooms and suites, each bearing the names of one of the prostitutes who occupied the hotel during Prohibition. It was restored and renovated in 1977-1984.

Present Use: It’s still being used as a hotel but all the rooms have private bathrooms though. First floor is home to a restaurant and bar.

Sightings: Several female apparitions have been reported, some believed to be prostitutes. People also report being touched and having their things moved. Other spirits include a priest, a boy, an Indian woman, and a housekeeper.

Anyone Famous?: Well, Captain Tibbals himself who was one of the area’s most colorful residents. Notable exploits include carrying cargo of railroad iron across the Isthmus of Panama and testing the first US diving bell, using it to retrieve $68,000 of silver from a sunken Spanish frigate in the Gulf of Mexico. Also built Union Wharf in the city as well as served as sheriff, postmaster, and county commissioner.

Open to Tourists?: Yes.

Other Haunts: Cascade Job Corp, Butterworth Building, Manresa Castle, Montgomery House Bed and Breakfast, Point Defiance Park, Starvation Heights Sanitarium, Black Diamond Cemetery, Tacoma Old City Hall, Oxford Saloon, Spokane Campbell House, Hotel de Haro, Mount Baker Theater, Lewis County Historical Museum, University Heights, Rucker Mansion, Meeker Mansion, Tokeland Hotel, Northern State Mental Hospital

48. West Virginia

The  Old West Virginia State Penitentiary was one of the most violent in the country, mostly due to overcrowding. Said to experience a lot of riots and 36 murders. Famously featured in both book and movie The Night of the Hunter.

The Old West Virginia State Penitentiary was one of the most violent in the country, mostly due to overcrowding. Said to experience a lot of riots and 36 murders. Famously featured in both book and movie The Night of the Hunter.

Most Haunted Place: West Virginia State Penitentiary in Moundsville

History: Prison that operated from 1876-1995. Original state penitentiary in West Virginia (since it used to be part of Virginia before it split from the state to join the Union in 1863). The place was built by convicts and it was said to be virtually self-sufficient and said to save state taxpayers $14,000 a year. While conditions were good around the turn of the century, they would later worsen during the years that it would be among the most violent prisons in the country. One of the more infamous locations was the recreation room known as, “The Sugar Shack” which experienced incidences of gambling, fighting, and raping. It’s said that a total of 36 homicides took place in its walls as well as 94 executions from 1899-1959 either by hanging or the electric chair. A noteworthy incident involved an inmate being butchered by 3 prisoners with dull shivs for snitching. Played a key role in Dave Grubb’s book (and better known movie) The Night of the Hunter. Had a peak population of 2000 in the 1960s but it had problems with overcrowding and small cells. Saw a mass escape in 1979 and a riot in 1986. After it closed its doors, the Moundsville Economic Development Council obtained a 25 year lease on the complex. Notable prisoners are Socialist Party Leader Eugene V. Debs.

Present Use: It’s now maintained as a tourist attraction and training facility for law enforcement and corrections practitioners. Is also used as a film location.

Sightings: It’s one of the most haunted prisons in the US with ghost stories originating as early as the 1930s. Legends include the prison occupying the site of a Native American graveyard and former guards seeing phantom prisoners and a “shadowman” wandering the premises as well as unexplained noises, voices, and cold spots.

Anyone Famous?: No.

Open to Tourists?: Yes, even has a Halloween “Dungeon of Horrors.” They also have tours.

Other Haunts: Blennerhassett Hotel, Booth House at Harpers Ferry, Trans-Allegheny Lunatic Asylum, Lake Shawnee, Camden Park, Darkish Knob, Grave Creek Indian Burial Mound, Morgantown, Historic Harpers Ferry

49. Wisconsin

Summerwind is a mysterious place believed to have been built in the early 20th century as a fishing lodge. Said to be notoriously haunted from the time it was owned by Robert Lamont. However, most of the place was destroyed by a lightning fire in 1988. Only the foundation and chimney remain.

Summerwind is a mysterious place believed to have been built in the early 20th century as a fishing lodge. Said to be notoriously haunted from the time it was owned by Robert Lamont. However, most of the place was destroyed by a lightning fire in 1988. Only the foundation and chimney remain.

Most Haunted Place: Summerwind Mansion in West Bay Lake

History: According to popular legend, this place was built in the early 20th century. Originally used as a fishing lodge, it was bought in 1916 by a guy named Robert Lamont who renovated it into his summer home. Said to be haunted right from the time he moved in because it’s reported that he and his family left in the 1930s (though this was about the time that Lamont was appointed Secretary of Commerce under Herbert Hoover). Another set of owners in the 1970s are said to leave after a few months because the hauntings drove them insane. In 1988, it was struck by lightning and burned to the ground, leaving only the foundation and chimney.

Present Use: Currently none and it’s considered private land. Might be rebuilt into a bed and breakfast someday.

Sightings: It’s been reportedly haunted for years. Lamont is reported to shoot a ghost with a pistol twice and sent it back to the cellar. When the Hinshaws lived there in the 1970s, renovators reported electrical problems, disappearing tools, and windows opening and closing by themselves. In the 1980s, it’s reported that people saw furniture appearing at random, room dimensions suddenly changing, and even dark shadows in full view.

Anyone Famous?: According to Raymond Bober, the house might be haunted by the ghost of 18th century British explorer Jonathan Carver. He basically explored and mapped much of the Midwest areas but he also thought he discovered the Northwest Passage. He didn’t. However, Bober said that Carver was searching the place for a deed sealed in the foundation that gave him rights to a third of Wisconsin.

Open to Tourists?: No, but there might be plans to restore and reopen the place as a bed and breakfast.

Other Haunts: The Rave/Eagles Club, Modjeska Youth Theater Company, Rinehart Theater, Saint Killian’s Catholic Cemetery, Scott Mansion, Pfister Hotel, Nelsen’s Hall, Elk Lake Dam, Appleton Riverside Cemetery, Brumder Mansion, Bloody Bride Bridge, Bodega Brew Pub, Plainfield Cemetery, Siren Bridge, Boy Scout Lane, Oshkosh Grand Opera House, Marquette University, Ripon Witch Road, Dartford Cemetery, Ripon College, Hotel Hell

50. Wyoming

The Wyoming Frontier Prison is said to have housed 13,500 prisoners in its operation. But it was infamous for its disciplinary measures like handcuffing prisoners to poles and whipping them with hoses. Was a film site for an early Viggo Mortensen movie.

The Wyoming Frontier Prison is said to have housed 13,500 prisoners in its operation. But it was infamous for its disciplinary measures like handcuffing prisoners to poles and whipping them with hoses. Was a film site for an early Viggo Mortensen movie.

Most Haunted Place: Wyoming Frontier Prison in Rawlins

History: Prison that operated from 1901-1981. Incarcerated 13,500 prisoners in its lifetime, including 11 women, all before 1909. Contained several different means of disciplining inmates such as a dungeon, several variations of solitary confinement, and a “punishment pole” to which men were handcuffed and whipped with rubber hoses. They also used different execution methods like hanging and gas chamber. 14 were executed.  Had a broom factory in 1901-1917 but it was burned down in a riot. After it closed, it was abandoned until 1987 when it was used for a low-budget film starring a little known actor named Viggo Mortensen. The next year, it was restored and established as a museum.

Present Use: It’s now a museum that offers tours to 15,000 tourists annually.

Sightings: It’s reported that apparitions and voices are common, as is a malevolent entity that responds with hostility to many people who try to explore certain areas of the prison.

Anyone Famous?: No.

Open to Tourists?: Yes, and they even have Halloween tours and a Christmas bazaar.

Other Haunts: Old Faithful Inn, Shoshone Bar, Historic Plains Hotel, Irma Hotel, Platte River, Meeteetse Cowboy Bar, Occidental Hotel, Frances E. Warren Air Force Base, Heart Mountain Relocation Center, Kane Cemetery, Cheyenne St. Mark’s Episcopal Church

In These Haunted United States – Part 4: New Mexico to South Carolina

Of course, it’s well known that many of these haunted places attract tourists, especially in the Halloween season and the summer. Some of these places might have some historical or artistic significance. Some were built to receive tourists from the get go. And others might welcome tourists because it’s a highly profitable enterprise that provides funding to restoration and historical preservation. In fact, a lot of these places that I’ve covered might not be around today if it wasn’t for tourism and highly encourage it. And it so happens that many of them have reputations for being haunted, which provides a unique Halloween opportunity on its own. However, we should remember that not all haunted places are open to visitors and for various reasons. Some may be privately owned and still in use like private residences such as the Sallie House. Some might be abandoned for a very good reason and may not be open to the public due to safety concerns such as some of the mental institutions. And some of them might not be open to the public because the people in the area think all the horror stories surrounding the location are just a big hoax and that visitors are just disturbing the peace. An example of this is the Amityville Horror House I’ll talk about in this post. In this fourth installment, I’ll bring you 10 more haunted places from the land of the free. These consist of a deadly highway in New Mexico, a house in New York that’s been a subject of horror movies and controversy, a mountain known for mysterious lights in North Carolina, a memorial building in North Dakota that’s now home to its state library, a mental institution in Ohio that’s now part of a college, a hotel in Oklahoma, a hotel and bar in Oregon, a famous battlefield in Pennsylvania, a mental institution in Rhode Island, and a old jail in South Carolina. So for your reading pleasure here are some more noteworthy places from haunted America.

31. New Mexico

In New Mexico, the aptly named US Highway 666 has had a reputation for accidents and fatalities. Though some people blame it on paranormal road rage, experts think the rate had more to do with inadequate design for traffic loads at the time.

In New Mexico, the aptly named US Highway 666 has had a reputation for accidents and fatalities. Though some people blame it on paranormal road rage, experts think the rate had more to do with inadequate design for traffic loads at the time.

Most Haunted Place: US Highway 666 (Now 491)

History: A highway that ran from Arizona, New Mexico, Colorado, and Utah and was the only highway to pass through each of the Four Corners States. Started as part of the Old Spanish Trail and was upgraded to 666 with the US highway system. The New Mexico portion of this highway had a reputation for being statistically dangerous since it was a sight for a lot of accidents and fatalities. However, this had more to do with inadequate design for traffic loads at the time than the numbering itself. Still, let’s just say that

Present Use: It’s now a highway but it’s been renamed US 491 due to its designation as “The Devil’s Highway,” a reputation for fatalities, renumbering changes, and persistent sign theft. The Arizona portion has been renamed US 191. Nevertheless, the renumbering drew quite a bit of controversy.

Sightings: Reported incidents include a flaming truck that attempts to run people over, a charging black sedan, a very fast semi driven by a ghost with road rage, two tailgating black cars, a hitchhiking girl in a white gown, spirits of skinwalkers, vicious hellhounds running after cars, and ghosts that show up in the backseats.

Anyone Famous?: No.

Open to Tourists?: Yes, but more as a place to drive on.

Other Haunts: Boyd’s Sanitarium, Chino Mines Creek, Holy Cross Sanatorium, Albuquerque Insane Asylum, New Mexico Military Institute, KIMO Theatre, Luna Mansion, Hotel Parq Central, Miss Gail’s Inn, Carrie Tingley Children’s Hospital, Church Street Café in Old Albuquerque, Albuquerque Arroyo, Rancho de Corrales, San Pedro Library

32. New York

I decided to post an old picture of the Amityville Horror House out of respect that the community and owners have been  unhappy with the house's publicity. The believe what happened to the Lutz family in there after the DeFeo murders was a hoax. So if you like the Amityville Horror movies, for the love of God, keep the fuck out of there!

I decided to post an old picture of the Amityville Horror House out of respect that the community and owners have been unhappy with the house’s publicity. The believe what happened to the Lutz family in there after the DeFeo murders was a hoax. So if you like the Amityville Horror movies, for the love of God, keep the fuck out of there!

Most Haunted Place: The Amityville Horror House in Amityville, a Long Island Suburb

History: A Dutch Colonial house built in 1927 with original owners being John and Catherine Moynahan. When they died, their daughter moved in with her family and lived there until the 1960. Between 1960 and 1965, it would be owned by the Rileys but they divorced and sold the house to the DeFeos (who lived there for 9 years). It’s best known as the site of the 1974 DeFeo murders when oldest son Ronald Jr. shot and killed his entire family while they slept. After the murders, George and Kathleen Lutz bought the home for $80,000 – a steal in New York real estate. But they lived there for 28 days that they didn’t make payment on the $60,000 mortgage on the house. Their time was when the haunting stuff is said to have happened. Later owners reported no problems while living there, save maybe the price and horror movie fans. The Cromartys who lived in the home after the Lutzes have even sued. Nevertheless, Peter O’Neill lived in the house for 10 years (1987-1997) and would later die on 9/11.

Present Use: Well, it’s still a private residence owned by a retired math teacher and his wife. They bought it in 2010 at $950,000.

Sightings: This is the country’s most infamous haunted house which has inspired books, movies, and documentaries. The Lutz family is said to experience hauntings such as moving objects, attacks, levitation, and demonic apparitions.

Anyone Famous?: No.

Open to Tourists?: No, and the residents of Amityville are unhappy about the house’s publicity and have declined requests to discuss the matter. In fact, they believe it’s a hoax and so does the Catholic Diocese of Rockville. The Amityville Historical Society even makes no mention of the DeFeo murders or the time the Lutz family lived. Not only that, but the house has been renovated and had its address changed to discourage people from visiting it. Hell, they didn’t even want a film crew in their sleepy community and denied shooting permits. So, Amityville Horror fans, for the love of God, show some courtesy and keep the fuck out of Amityville! Seriously, for Christ’s sake, Amityville doesn’t want you in their town, so leave them alone!

Other Haunts: Big Moose Lake, Cherry Hill Estate, New York State Capitol, Smith-Ely Mansion, Letchworth Village, Durand-Eastman Park, Irvington Church of St. Barnabas, Farnam Mansion, Former Plattsburgh Air Force Base, Sailor’s Snug Harbor, Onondaga County Criminal Courthouse, Brooklyn Most Holy Trinity Church, Raynham Hall, Otesaga Hotel,  Rolling Hills Asylum, Utica Lunatic Asylum, Blithewood Mansion, Fiddler’s Bridge, Dewittville Poor House Cemetery, Dupree House, Belhurst Castle, Revelatory Hero’s Cemetery, Loudon Cottage, Marcellus, Old Spook Rock Road, Dakota Apartment Building, One If By Land, Two If By Sea Restaurant, New Amsterdam Thatre

33. North Carolina

Brown Mountain is known to experience the mysterious illuminations called "The Brown Mountain Lights" for perhaps centuries as there were hundreds of eyewitness accounts. It's even merited 2 investigations by the United States Geological Society. But as of today, the lights are still a mystery.

Brown Mountain is known to experience the mysterious illuminations called “The Brown Mountain Lights” for perhaps centuries as there were hundreds of eyewitness accounts. It’s even merited 2 investigations by the United States Geological Society. But as of today, the lights are still a mystery.

Most Haunted Place: Brown Mountain in Burke and Caldwell Counties

History: It’s a low lying mountain range in the Pisgah National Forest within the Appalachians.

Present Use: It’s still a mountain and will remain so.

Sightings: There’s a mysterious illumination known as the Brown Mountain Lights consisting of small balls that appear irregularly all over the mountain, which has appeared for maybe hundreds of years. Residents are said to see them since the 19th century while the Cherokee might’ve been seeing them since the 13th. There are hundreds of eyewitness accounts on this that it’s merited 2 investigations by the United States Geological Society. Said to be seen as far away as Blowing Rock. It’s widely believe these lights are the ghosts of Native Americans.

Anyone Famous?: No.

Open to Tourists?: Yes.

Other Haunts: Devil’s Tramping Ground, Sandford House, Carolina Theatre, Lydia’s Bridge, Ashe County Hospital, Museum of Ashe County History, Attmore-Oliver House, Harvey Mansion Historical Inn and Restaurant, Tar River, The Bitmore Estate, The Great Dismal Swamp, Orcacoke Island, Paint Rock, French Broad River, Grove Park Inn, Winston-Salem Single Brothers House, Chimney Rock, Teach’s Hole

34. North Dakota

Originally built for additional government office space, the Liberty Memorial Building is now home to North Dakota's state library. However, it's said to be haunted by an entity known as the Stack Monster.

Originally built for additional government office space, the Liberty Memorial Building is now home to North Dakota’s state library. However, it’s said to be haunted by an entity known as the Stack Monster.

Most Haunted Place: Liberty Memorial Building in Bismarck

History: Completed in 1924, this was originally intended to provide additional office space for state agencies and to mark the end of WWI. It’s the oldest building standing on the capitol grounds.

Present Use: It’s now home to the North Dakota State Library and dedicated to the memory of those in the state who served in WWI.

Sightings: It’s been the reported haunting of the Stack Monster, who apparently calls out the names of employees when no one else is present, has been seen repeatedly, and opens doors at random.

Anyone Famous?: No.

Open to Tourists?: Yes.

Other Haunts: Apple Creek Country Club, Chateau de Mores, North Dakota State University (which is in Fargo), Old Luger Hotel, Saint Joseph’s Hospital and Health Center, Sage Hill Bed and Breakfast, University of North Dakota, San Haven Sanatorium, Children’s Museum at Yunker Farm, Harvey Public Library, Fort Abraham Lincoln Custer House, Williston Old Armory, Totten Trail Historic Inn, Medora Fudge and Ice Cream Depot

35. Ohio

Before it was called The Ridges, this was the Athens Lunatic Asylum which had an infamous reputation as a mental institution. And its real history is even scarier than the ghosts said to haunt there. It's now a part of Ohio University.

Before it was called The Ridges, this was the Athens Lunatic Asylum which had an infamous reputation as a mental institution. And its real history is even scarier than the ghosts said to haunt there. It’s now a part of Ohio University.

Most Haunted Place: The Ridges (Athens Lunatic Asylum) in Athens

History: Operated as a mental institution from 1874-1993 and provided services to a variety of patients including American Civil War veterans, children, and violent criminals suffering from various mental disabilities. It’s said to be Ohio’s largest employer for many years and a large percentage of the work it took to maintain the facility was carried out by the patients. This is because the doctors thought it was not just therapeutic but also free. But it’s infamously well known for the use of lobotomy, hydrotherapy, electroshock therapy, psychotropic drugs, as well as neglect and abuse. Oh, and most of the causes of insanity listed (according to my words based on their mostly outdated medical interpretations) consisted of masturbation, alcoholism, menopause, post-partum depression, PMS, general ill health, self-abuse, tuberculosis and epilepsy. Also housed elderly and rebellious teenagers who were dumped by their families, while homeless people would frequent there for shelter. At its height, it held over 2000 patients. Over 2000 people are said to be buried there.

Present Use: It’s now part of Ohio University and houses the Kennedy Museum of Art, an auditorium, and many offices, classrooms, and storage facilities. However, the TB Ward doesn’t remain because it had to be demolished due to its walls being lined with asbestos and college students breaking into the building.

Sightings: Most well-known reported event is of a woman who died there and left a stain in the outline of her body. The cemetery is said to be haunted as well.

Anyone Famous?: No.

Open to Tourists?: Yes, and they even have walking tours.

Other Haunts: Ohio University, Cincinnati Music Hall, Spring House Gazebo (or the place in Cincinnati where George Remus killed his wife), Ohio State Reformatory, Twin City Opera House, Old Licking County Jail, Prospect Place, Emmitt House, Franklin Castle, Stately Road, Akron Civic Theater, Dayton Woodlawn Cemetery, Lafayette Hotel, Fudge Road Bridge, Chillicothe Majestic Theatre, Kenyon College, Mudhouse Mansion

36. Oklahoma

The Skirvin Hotel is said to be the oldest in Oklahoma City and has paid host to Harry Truman and various NBA teams. Said to be home of a rather promiscuous female ghost.

The Skirvin Hotel is said to be the oldest in Oklahoma City and has paid host to Harry Truman and various NBA teams. Said to be home of a rather promiscuous female ghost.

Most Haunted Place: Skirvin Hotel in Oklahoma City

History: Opened in 1911, it’s the city’s oldest hotel. Original owner William Balser “Bill” Skirvin whose daughter was ambassador to Luxembourg under Harry Truman. Said to be a popular speakeasy during Prohibition. Was closed in 1988 and remained abandoned for 19 years until it was renovated and reopened as part of the Hilton chain of hotels in 2007.

Present Use: Well, it’s still a hotel and it’s been used by NBA teams whenever they play the Oklahoma City Thunder.

Sightings: Reported incidents include a female ghost who climbs into bed with male guests, maids’ carts moving down the halls on their own, and a baby crying. NBA players tend to report other hauntings as well. It’s said that an owner had an affair with a maid, knocked her up, locked her into a room, which drove her to the edge even after the baby was born. She was said to commit suicide with the baby in tow.

Anyone Famous?: No.

Open to Tourists?: Yes, if you can afford it.

Other Haunts: Labadie Mansion, Timberidge Cemetery, Fort Washita, McBride House, Vinita Cry Baby Bridge, Dead Women Crossing, Belvidere Mansion, Blanchard Cemetery, Bird Creek School, Brady Theatre, Blue Belle Saloon, Cherokee Strip Museum, Cushing First Christian Church, Fort Reno, Cain’s Ballroom, Kiamachi Kitchen, Mohawk Park and Golf Course, Langston’s Western Wear, Stone Lion Inn, Veteran’s Lake, Witch’s Grave in Hillside Cemetery, Wheelock Mission

37. Oregon

Originally a pub for Polish immigrants, Portland's White Eagle also included services like gambling and prostitution. It's now been a rock'n roll place since the 1970s with live music shows.

Originally a pub for Polish immigrants, Portland’s White Eagle also included services like gambling and prostitution. It’s now been a rock’n roll place since the 1970s with live music shows.

Most Haunted Place: White Eagle Saloon and Hotel in Portland

History: Opened in 1905 which was originally a hub for Polish immigrants but later became popular among sailors. But wasn’t a place with a great reputation since its services included gambling and prostitution. Was known for a lot of incidents such as a prostitute being killed by her jealous lover, drunken patrons being shanghaied through a basement tunnel, fierce and frequent brawls, and other events.

Present Use: It’s still used as a bar and hotel. However, it’s more like a rock n’ roll place with live music shows since the 1970s.

Sightings: It’s been reported that many people feel someone touch them or find it physically impossible to get out of their beds, while others report being shoved down the stairs.

Anyone Famous?: No.

Open to Tourists?: Yes.

Other Haunts: Bagdad Theater, Pittock Mansion, Roseland Theater, Geiser Grand Hotel, Granite, Hot Lake Hotel, Ashael Bush House, Dammasch State Hospital, Multnomah County Poor Farm, Multnomah Falls, Rhododendron Village, South Eugene High School, Benson Hotel, Cathedral Park, Heathman Hotel, Hollywood Theatre, Lotus Isle, North Portland Library, Oaks Amusement Park, Old Town Pizza, Reed College, Rimsky-Korsakoffee House, Roseland Theater, Portland shanghai tunnels, Tryon Creek, Villa St. Rose, Lithia Park, Southern Oregon University, Wolf Creek Inn, Malheur Butte, Oregon Caves Chateau, Astor Building, Coos Bay Egyptian Theatre, Fort Stevens, Heceta Head Lighthouse, Siletz Bay

38. Pennsylvania

The Battle of Gettysburg was perhaps the bloodiest incident on North American soil that left nearly 50,000 dead. Still, while it's said that most of the ghosts are harmless, they're willing to inflict deadly force to those who think building a casino in Gettysburg is a good idea. Actually I made that up, but let's just say a casino in Gettysburg is just sacrilege, in my opinion.

The Battle of Gettysburg was perhaps the bloodiest incident on North American soil that left nearly 50,000 dead. Still, while it’s said that most of the ghosts are harmless, they’re willing to inflict deadly force to those who think building a casino in Gettysburg is a good idea. Actually I made that up, but let’s just say a casino in Gettysburg is just sacrilege, in my opinion.

Most Haunted Place: Gettysburg Battlefield in Gettysburg

History: Site of the Battle of Gettysburg which lasted from July 1-3, 1863. It was the last attempt at a northern invasion by Confederate General Robert E. Lee but it resulted in a critical Union victory and a turning point in the war. It was the bloodiest battle of the American Civil War as well as on North American soil resulting nearly 50,000 dead. Also the site where President Abraham Lincoln gave his Gettysburg Address.

Present Use: It’s now a National Battlefield, historic landmark, memorial, and military cemetery. It’s one of the most visited national parks each year.

Sightings: It’s one of the most haunted places in the country. Ghosts include phantom soldiers, a headless horseman, a soldier smelling of sulfur, sharpshooters, a ragged soldier from Texas, a woman in white who committed suicide in 1880, and others. Some swear that they still hear babies crying and music.

Anyone Famous?: Well, there’s Confederate Brigadier General William Barksdale who was killed during the battle.

Open to Tourists?: Yes. In fact, I’ve been there twice. Didn’t see any ghosts though. Nevertheless, even if you don’t believe in ghosts, I highly recommend the trip. Seriously, it’s worth it.

Other Haunts: The town of Gettysburg, Saint Vincent College, Mayview, Baleroy Mansion, Bishop White House, Philadelphia City Tavern, Cliveden Manor, Eastern State Penitentiary, First Bank of the United States, Fort Mifflin, Grumblethorpe, Philadelphia Library Hall, Pennsylvania Hospital, Physick Mansion, Powel House, Philadelphia St. Peter’s Episcopal Church, USS Olympia, Philadelphia Washington Square, Welles House, Bolton Mansion, Brandywine River, Brinton Lodge, Albertus L. Meyers Bridge, Dixmont State Hospital, Fairfield Inn, General Warren Inn, General Wayne Inn, Growden Mansion, Harrisburg State Hospital, Hill View Manor, Keith House, Lebanon Valley College, Knickerbocker Hotel, Logan Inn, Mishler Theatre, Pen Ryn Mansion, Pennhurst State School and Hospital, Phillips’ Rangers Monument, Valley Forge, US Route 322, Heilbron Manor

39. Rhode Island

Though officially built to serve train the mentally disabled for jobs, it spent much of its history as a eugenics penal colony.  So it's no wonder why so much of this place has been demolished.

Though officially built to serve train the mentally disabled for jobs, it spent much of its history as a eugenics penal colony. So it’s no wonder why so much of this place has been demolished.

Most Haunted Place: The Dr. Joseph Ladd School in Exeter

History: Operated from 1908-1993 as a state institution constructed to serve the needs of the mentally disabled. 5,000 are said to have lived and died there. Though its official purpose was to train young people with disabilities for farm work and mechanical trades, the ideology behind an institution like this was formulated by a prominent eugenicist named Dr. Walter Fernald whose doctrine was to remove the “feeble-minded” from society in order to cleanse the population of inferior and “defective” genes. That doctor’s protégé, Dr. Joseph Ladd, was the institution’s first superintendent, but he would soon gain a reputation for mistreatment as his students grew and the place would become notorious for overcrowding and terrible living conditions. During its existence under Ladd, it more or less resembled a penal colony detaining people as a means of segregating them from free society either until menopause or natural death (because in Rhode Island, forced sterilization was illegal. However, there were a few women who were though). And during the 1920s-1940s,  it wasn’t just the mentally disabled who were confined there, but also women accused of immoral practices like prostitution, sodomy, extramarital sex, or being pregnant out of wedlock as well as other individuals who either committed petty crimes or no crimes at all. In 1947, Ladd discharged a third of the inmates due to money problems and redirected its mission to institutionalizing only those with severe disabilities. But after a long time resident was implicated in a murder of a disabled child in 1955, Ladd resigned. Things were better in its later years but the place would come under more scrutiny. Closed down for good in 1993.

Present Use: As of 2013, most of the place has been demolished. But the grounds are still private and are still being watched.

Sightings: Since its abandonment, many have reported hearing moaning, phantom footsteps or shuffling, voices, and crying. Some have claimed to see doors open, close, and/or lock with no explanation.

Anyone Famous?: No.

Open to Tourists?: No.

Other Haunts: Belcourt Castle, Crescent Park, Rhode Island School of Design, Biltmore Hotel, Conjuring House, Chestnut Hill Cemetery, The Barn at Roger Williams University, Providence City Hall, Block Island, Providence Athenaeum

40. South Carolina

The Old Charleston Jail has had a long history that it has housed prisoners ranging from criminals, unruly slaves, pirates, and Union POWs. It's best known for executing a woman named Lavinia Fisher said to be America's first female serial killer.

The Old Charleston Jail has had a long history that it has housed prisoners ranging from criminals, unruly slaves, pirates, and Union POWs. It’s best known for executing a woman named Lavinia Fisher said to be America’s first female serial killer.

Most Haunted Place: Old Charleston Jail in Charleston

History: A prison that operated from 1802-1939 which housed Charleston’s notorious criminals and served as its county jail. Prisoners include career criminals like John and Lavinia Fisher, unruly slaves like Denmark Vessey (who planned a slave revolt), high sea pirates, and American Civil War POWs. It also held black seamen there while they were in port during the antebellum years. In 1886, part of the complex was badly damaged by an earthquake.

Present Use: Today it’s been owned by the American College of the Building Arts since 2000 who have also helped restore it. Not only that, but it also serves as a laboratory and classroom for students.

Sightings: Said to be haunted by the spirits of the deceased prisoners who died in jail. It’s been reported that apparitions, voices, as well as moving and disappearing objects are the norm.

Anyone Famous?: Well, there’s Lavinia Fisher who might’ve been America’s first female serial killer but we’re not sure if she killed anyone. However, her and her husband were active members of a large gang outside the city and owned an inn that was used as a hiding place. Publicly executed at the jail for highway robbery, which was then a capital offense in 1820.

Open to Tourists?: Yes. They also have walking and ghost tours, too.

Other Haunts: Legare Street House, Pawley’s Island, Redcliffe Plantation, St. Helena Parish Chapel of Ease Ruins, South Carolina Lunatic Asylum, Charelston Naval Base Admiral’s House, Baynard Plantation, Anderson Cry Baby Bridge, Cypress Garden Ruins, Hell’s Gate/Oakwood Cemetery, Abandoned Mansion in Santee, Montrose Cemetery, Smoaks Old Train Building and Trestle, Salem Black River Church, Greenville Tuberculosis Hospital, White Point Gardens, Seven Devil’s Bridge, The Hermitage, Rose Hill Plantation

In These Haunted United States – Part 3: Massachusetts to New Jersey

Now we’re in the middle of my haunted series on the United States. You might notice that many of these haunted places include hotels. Well, there are some reasons why. For one, hotels tend to have long histories with many still being used today. And let’s just say that something which has been around for a very long time is bound to carry some baggage. In the hotel realm, a checkered past might give rise to ghost stories like some maid committing suicide over an affair. Second, hotels tend to but hubs with a lot of people in them whether they be employees, visitors, owners, and what not. So a lot people can lead to a lot of ghost stories. And third, they tend to be places where you see people from different classes, races, and creeds such as the poorer employees as well as the richer patrons and management. And yes, in America, you’re bound to see plenty of employees to be African American, Latino, or immigrants as you would see in the country’s service industry. But such mingling at another time can lead to some tragic consequences. In this section, I bring you a third installment of some of the most haunted American places. These will include a Massachusetts house that was a scene of a notorious murder, mansions in Michigan, Minnesota, Mississippi, and Missouri, a major college in Montana, the Nebraska State Capitol, a ghost town in Nevada, a cemetery in New Hampshire, and a house in New Jersey that inspired legends. So for your reading pleasure, here are some more haunted places in these United States.

21. Massachusetts

Legend has it that in this Fall River House, Lizzie Borden brutally murdered her father and stepmother in 1892. But she was found not guilty despite what public opinion thought of her. However, if Lizzie did killed her parents, it was most likely out of a family dispute.

Legend has it that in this Fall River House, Lizzie Borden brutally murdered her father and stepmother in 1892. But she was found not guilty despite what public opinion thought of her. However, if Lizzie did killed her parents, it was most likely out of a family dispute.

Most Haunted Place: The Lizzie Borden House in Fall River

History: Built in 1845, it was the 19th century home of Lizzie Borden and her family. This was the site of the axe murders of her father and stepmother in 1892, widely believed to be committed by Lizzie herself despite being found not guilty. However, if she did kill her parents, it would’ve been over a family dispute. Has been sold in 1918 and 1948.

Present Use: Now a bed and breakfast as well as museum.

Sightings: Apparitions and voices of the Borden family members, servants, and pets are said to be experience throughout the house. Ghosts of 2 young children have also been reported.

Anyone Famous?: It’s said that Lizzie Borden herself has been seen in the basement.

Open to Tourists?: Yes.

Other Haunts: Boston Athenaeum, Houghton Mansion, Joshua Ward House, Witch House, USS Salem, Taunton State Hospital, Leicester Quaker Cemetery, Cape Cod Orleans Inn, Waltham Metropolitan State Hospital, Fort Revere, Danvers State Mental Hospital, Lincoln Mill, Cutler Majestic Theater at Emerson College

22. Michigan

Henderson Castle was originally owned by one of the most successful businessmen in Kalamazoo. It's now a bed and breakfast with a restaurant and spa.

Henderson Castle was originally owned by one of the most successful businessmen in Kalamazoo. It’s now a bed and breakfast with a restaurant and spa.

Most Haunted Place: Henderson Castle in Kalamazoo

History: Built in 1895 and originally owned by Mary and Frank Henderson who was one of Kalamazoo’s most successful businessmen as well as owner and president of the Henderson-Ames Uniform Company (which designed uniforms for secret societies, organizations, and the military). However, Frank would die 4 years after construction while his wife died in 1907. The Henderson children sold the place in 1919 and has since passed hands 10 times until the current owners bought it in 2011.

Present Use: Currently a bed and breakfast. It even has a restaurant and spa.

Sightings: Said to be haunted by the original owners and a soldier as well as al little girl and a dog. Many people report being tapped, having radios blare even when unplugged, and seeing apparitions.

Anyone Famous?: Well, Frank Henderson but only in a local capacity.

Open to Tourists?: Yes.

Other Haunts: Big Bay Point Light, Fort Wayne, Holy Family Orphanage, Eloise Asylum, Murphy’s Lamplight Inn, Traverse City State Hospital, Detroit Masonic Temple, Felt Mansion, Michigan Bell Telephone Company in Grand Rapids, River Raisin National Battlefield Park, Pere Cheney, Mackinac Island, Bone Head’s BBQ

23. Minnesota

The Forepaugh Mansion was home to a successful dry goods businessman in St. Paul. However, he's said to have an affair with a maid who later committed suicide. Forepaugh and his family didn't live in there long soon after that.

The Forepaugh Mansion was home to a successful dry goods businessman in St. Paul. However, he’s said to have an affair with a maid who later committed suicide. Forepaugh and his family didn’t live in there long soon after that.

Most Haunted Place: Joseph Forepaugh Mansion in St. Paul

History: Built in 19th century, it was the mansion of entrepreneur Joseph Forepaugh who made his fortune in the dry goods business and was Senior Partner in the J.L. Forepaugh and Company. He lived there with his wife Mary and their two daughters. However, he made the mistake of cheating on his wife with a young maid named Molly. When Mary caught him in bed with Molly, she asked Joseph to end it and he did. Unfortunately, Molly found out she was pregnant and committed suicide by hanging from a window. The Forepaughs sold the place to retired Civil War General Henry Hammond and moved to Europe. However, Forepaugh would later commit suicide in 1892, most likely to escape a financial crash.

Present Use: It’s now an upscale French restaurant with reception/banquet space. It’s also a museum as well.

Sightings: It’s said the Molly’s ghost apparently bangs on walls, causes glasses to explode, and can sometimes be seen.

Anyone Famous?: Customers are said to see a solid form of Joseph Forepaugh himself, apparently pleased with the restoration and renovation efforts of the current owners. He’s also said to act like he owns the place.

Open to Tourists?: Yes.

Other Haunts: Greyhound Bus Museum, Minneapolis City Hall, Palmer House Hotel, Winona State University, Lake Julia Sanitarium, Dead Man’s Trail, Janesville Doll House, Lake View Cemetery, Mantorville Opera House, Washington Street Bridge in Minneapolis, Concordia College, St. Olaf College, Griggs Mansion

24. Mississippi

Cedar Grove Mansion was home to the Kleins who used their home as a hospital during the Battle of Vicksburg when it was attacked by cannon. The family would reside there until 1919.

Cedar Grove Mansion was home to the Kleins who used their home as a hospital during the Battle of Vicksburg when it was attacked by cannon. The family would reside there until 1919.

Most Haunted Place: Cedar Grove Mansion in Vicksburg

History: Built in 1852 and was owned by planter and businessman Joseph Alexander Klein as well as his wife Elizabeth where they’d have 10 children. During the Civil War, they used their home as a Union hospital, particularly during the Battle of Vicksburg. However, it didn’t prevent the mansion from being attacked by cannon nor did Elizabeth’s family ties to General William Tecumseh Sherman. The Klein family would reside there until 1919.

Present Use: Now a bed and breakfast. Said to be among the most elegant in the South.

Sightings: Reported manifestations of the house include house’s original family, various apparitions (including soldiers), laughter, and footsteps.

Anyone Famous?: Well, it’s said the John Klein still keeps an eye on the staff and is apparently not quite trusting of the living’s judgement. His wife is said to be there, too.

Open to Tourists?: Yes.

Other Haunts: Cold Spring Plantation, Kessler Air Force Base, Longfellow Place, Rowan Oak, Mississippi State Capitol, Vicksburg National Military Park, Waverly Plantation, Chapel of the Cross, Corinth Battlefield, Dunleith Plantation, Meridian Grand Opera House, Natchez King’s Tavern, Linden Plantation, Merrehope Plantation, Monmouth Plantation, Springfield Plantation

25. Missouri

In their heyday, the Lemp family dominated the beer business in Missouri until Prohibition. Unfortunately, the family was rocked by tragedy, scandal, and dysfunction with 4 members committing suicide. 3 of them in this house.

In their heyday, the Lemp family dominated the beer business in Missouri until Prohibition. Unfortunately, the family was rocked by tragedy, scandal, and dysfunction with 4 members committing suicide. 3 of them in this St. Louis house.

Most Haunted Place: Lemp Mansion in St. Louis

History: Built in 1868 and home of the Lemp Family, whose brewing company dominated the St. Louis beer market before Prohibition. They lived in this house until 1949. Nevertheless, the family was besieged by tragedy and dysfunction. Four members of the family committed suicide including original owner William Lemp Sr. and 3 of his children.

Present Use: It’s now a restaurant and inn owned by the Pointer family. It’s even a venue for murder mystery dinner theater and Halloween parties.

Sightings: During restoration efforts in the 1970s, it’s been workers reported being harassed by slamming doors, ghostly noise, and experiencing an uncomfortable feeling due to the oppressive atmosphere of the mansion and the “burning sensation” of staring eyes. It’s said a monkey-face boy haunts the attic, looking for love and attention, who is believed to be an illegitimate son of William Lemp Jr. and was said to have Down Syndrome. Not to mention, there have been reports of apparitions of the family members as well.

Anyone Famous?: If you count the Lemp family, then yes, in a local capacity.

Open to Tourists?: Yes.

Other Haunts: Avilla, St. Louis City Museum, Epperson House, Henderson Mansion, Kemper Arena, Missouri State Penitentiary, Pythian Castle, Vaile Mansion, Kansas City Union Station, Knob Noster, Jesse James Farm, Jefferson Barracks and Cemetery, Ravenswood, Missouri Governor’s Mansion, Boonville Thespian Hall

26. Montana

Since its 1893 founding the University of Montana has been the alma mater of an Oscar winning actor, a member of Pearl Jam, a prominent TV star, and this country's first US Congresswoman. However, it's been reported to have an entire lecture attended by ghosts.

Since its 1893 founding the University of Montana has been the alma mater of an Oscar winning actor, a member of Pearl Jam, a prominent TV star, and this country’s first US Congresswoman. However, it’s been reported to have an entire lecture attended by ghosts.

Most Haunted Place: The University of Montana in Missoula

History: Founded in 1893. Said to be a city within a city that has its own post office, medical facilities, police department, banking, restaurants, and ZIP code. Houses the earliest authorized edition of the Lewis and Clark Journals. Mascot is Monte the Grizzly Bear. Notable alumni include Oscar winning actor and Farmer’s Insurance spokesman J. K. Simmons, Pearl Jam’s James Ament, All in the Family’s Carroll O’Connor (best known as Archie Bunker), and US Congresswoman Jeannette Rankin.

Present Use: It’s still used as a public university and is a flagship campus of the UM system.

Sightings: Reports range from the ghost of a girl who committed suicide, a ghost of a dog, and other apparitions and emotional sensations. It’s said at Rankin Hall, there’s an entire lecture attended by ghosts.

Anyone Famous?: Not from what I have heard. However, Rankin Hall is named after famous alum Jeannette Rankin who was the first US Congresswoman.

Open to Tourists?: Well, on a seasonal basis. But they do give haunted tours to the public.

Other Haunts: Bannack, Carroll College, Copper King Mansion, Garnet, Little Bighorn National Battlefield, Montana State Prison Museum, Virginia City, Belton Chalet, Chico Hot Springs, Dumas Brothel, Paris Gibson Square Museum, Reeder’s Alley

27. Nebraska

Besides being home to the country's only unicameral state legislature, the State Capitol of Nebraska is said to be haunted by accident victims who are said to fall from its large tower. On a lighter note, it's been praised for its architecture.

Besides being home to the country’s only unicameral state legislature, the State Capitol of Nebraska is said to be haunted by accident victims who are said to fall from its large tower. On a lighter note, it’s been praised for its architecture.

Most Haunted Place: Nebraska State Capitol in Lincoln

History: Completed in 1932, this is the primary government headquarters of the Nebraska state government. Its style is a mix of Art Deco, Neo-Byzantine, and Gothic Revival. Seriously, Wikipedia’s entry is devoted to the place’s architecture. Several deaths are said to occur there, including 2 people falling to their deaths from the 12th floor and 2 which took place in the central tower stairwell.

Present Use: It’s steal the seat of government in Nebraska.

Sightings: Reports are said to include screams and crying, as well as mist that is seen falling through the stairwell. Ghosts include, an inmate, a workman, a female employee, and a visitor.

Anyone Famous?: Not that I can name off hand.

Open to Tourists?: Yes.

Other Haunts: Brother Sebastian’s Restaurant, Centennial Hall, Hummel Park, Nebraska Wesleyan University, Alliance Theater, Antelope Park, Ball Cemetery, Barnard Park, Blackbird Hill, Bailey House Museum, Devil’s Canyon, Fort Sidney Museum, Hastings College, Logan Creek Bridge, Neville Center for the Performing Arts, Platte County Historical Society and Museum, Seven Sisters Road, Holdrege Speakeasy, Warbonnet Creek Battlefield, Wayne State College

28. Nevada

In its heyday, Virginia City, Nevada was a boom town known for its rich silver deposits. Today it's almost entirely abandoned and relies almost entirely on tourism. And their ghost stories that have sprung up.

In its heyday, Virginia City, Nevada was a boom town known for its rich silver deposits. Today it’s almost entirely abandoned and relies almost entirely on tourism. And their ghost stories that have sprung up.

Most Haunted Place: Virginia City, Nevada

History: Sprang up as a boom town in 1859 due to the discovery of the Comstock Lode, the first major silver deposit discovery in the US. Had over 25,000 residents at its peak in 1862 and was called America’s richest city. One of its famous residents at the time was a young reporter for the local paper named Samuel Clemens. You know him as Mark Twain and he’d later write a novel named Roughing it set in the city. Was also a place of many fires, including a Great Fire in 1875. But as the mines’ output declined after 1878, the city declined. Its most recent population is estimated at 855.

Present Use: Well, it’s mostly a tourist town now, with its historic district drawing 2 million visitors a year.

Sightings: Well, since we’re talking about an entire town, there’s just so many reported haunting incidents to put in this. Some of the ghosts include a woman who killed her own baby before committing suicide, a bunch of dead miners who were killed in fire, a lady waving from a balcony, an Indian killed in saloon fight, a little girl run over by a wagon and her mother, a young woman in lavender, a smoking old man scowling, a schoolteacher, and a woman who died penniless and held séances to contact with her dead husband. Reported incidents include a pieces of metal and rock thrown at visitors, a moving gravestone, and a glowing gravestone.

Anyone Famous?: Not that I can name off hand.

Open to Tourists?: Yes, and supported by tourists, too.

Other Haunts: Abraham Curry House, Goldfield Hotel, Madame Tussaud’s Las Vegas Wax Museum, Zappos Building, Mustang Ranch, La Palazza Mansion, Bonnie Springs Ranch, Mizpah Hotel, Redd Foxx’s Las Vegas House, Nevada Governor’s Mansion, Boulder Dam Hotel, Whiskey Pete’s Hotel and Casino

29. New Hampshire

Pine Hill Cemetery was founded in 1769 on land donated by a man who had to sell his farm. It's said to have family that's been murdered in the 1800s but records don't hold that story up.

Pine Hill Cemetery was founded in 1769 on land donated by a man who had to sell his farm. It’s said to have family that’s been murdered in the 1800s but records don’t hold that story up.

Most Haunted Place: Pine Hill Cemetery in Hollis

History: Founded in 1769 on the land donated by Benjamin Parker Jr. who had to sell his farm. About 300 people are said to be buried there. Many of them in graves that are now currently unmarked.

Present Use: As far as I know, it’s still said to function as a cemetery.

Sightings: It’s said to be the most haunted cemetery of New England. Called “Blood Cemetery” because it’s alleged that the ghost of Abel Blood is said to roam the place as well as various members of his family (they were alleged to be murdered in the 1800s. However, records don’t support this since he and his family died at different times and different places, many of natural causes). A ghost of a little boy was said to try flagging down cars for some reason. Still, reported incidents include ghosts sitting on their own tombstones as well as one tombstone that appears to glow in the dark at night.

Anyone Famous?: No.

Open to Tourists?: Yes, but not at night like most cemeteries. And it’s heavily patrolled by police.

Other Haunts: Gibson Road Cemetery, Isles of Shoals, Mount Washington Hotel, Three Chimneys Inn, Alton Town Hall, Amos J. Blake House Museum, Dover Mills, University of New Hampshire, Toll Hill, Philbrick House, Meetinghouse Green Memorial Park, Nutmeg Inn, MacDowell Colony, Point of Graves Burial Ground, Rockingham Hotel

30. New Jersey

The Seabrook-Wilson House in Port Monmouth is one of the oldest homes in New Jersey and is subject to many legends. However, according to historians, it's more likely that this house had a long but unremarkable existence. And that much of the stories surrounding it might've been made up by a previous curator to save it.

The Seabrook-Wilson House in Port Monmouth is one of the oldest homes in New Jersey and is subject to many legends. However, according to historians, it’s more likely that this house had a long but unremarkable existence. And that much of the stories surrounding it might’ve been made up by a previous curator to save it.

Most Haunted Place: Seabrook-Wilson House in Port Monmouth

History: Built in 1663 by Thomas Whitlock where he lived with his family. The second family, the Seabrooks owned the place for 250 years. And its current structure was built in 1892 by Reverend William V. Wilson and his wife, Martha. From 1910-1970s it was said to operate as a hotel. And up to the 2000s, it served as a historical museum. But since the early 2000s, it’s been closed to the public until 2012.

Present Use: It still functions as a museum but only the first floor is open.

Sightings: Up to 22 ghosts are said to haunt this house including a woman in white, a minister alleged to privately practice Satanism, a bearded sea captain, and a young boy. It’s even alleged to be a spy house and tavern during the American Revolution.

Anyone Famous?: There are legends surrounding that Captain Morgan was known to hide treasure and conduct tortures in the house’s basement that had underground tunnels. And his ghost is said to threaten children visitors in the museum. However, the notion of Captain Morgan’s ghost frequenting a place in New Jersey just doesn’t make sense since he spent most of his life in the Caribbean and died as governor of Jamaica.

Open to Tourists?: Since 2012, only the first floor is opened to the public.

Other Haunts: Shades of Death Road, Burnt Mill Road, Cape May, Red Mill Museum Village, Flemington Union Hotel, Lakehurst Hangar No. 1, Leeds Point, The Devil’s Tree, Burlington County Prison, Proprietary House, Ringwood Manor, Essex County Hospital Center, Clinton Road, The Devil’s Tower in Alpine, Clifton Gates of Hell, Blairsden Mansion, Flanders Hotel