More like fairy tales. Given the anthropomorphic creatures and celestial objects.

For God’s sake Cher, you can’t go out to the castle in that armor. Do you want the enemy to easily stab you? Seriously, she looks like she’s straight out of a video game.

After the party descended into a drunken orgy, Mary Lou just wanted to go home. At the same time, she dreaded at the possibility of being a designated driver.

Are you sure the women aren’t just staring at your ass, Dick? Maybe that’s your “something” for the girls. Seriously, there aren’t many people who enjoy accordion music.

Seriously, this cover features a naked woman smoking a cigarette next to a flower pot table with a naked lady lamp on top of it. Because sex sells, everyone.

Tell me this woman is wearing at least a pair of underwear. But I wouldn’t be surprised if she isn’t. Also, she seems to predate Madonna by a couple of decades.

Yes, another nudie album cover. But this time the boobs are censored. Parent discretion is advised.

After all, she’s all business in the front and party in the back. But in a more tasteful fashion. Still, what kind of bra does she wear?

Betty tried her best to study hard despite wanting to hang out with friends. As her mother’s watchful eye gazed over her that evening.

You can tell they’re trying to appeal to men. And I’m sure they’ll be “relaxing” to this cover.

Because you can clearly see their tits. Also, they’re not wearing proper footwear for biking or helmets.

Heard she was Fishmate of the Year from Hook, Line, and Sinker Magazine. It’s for fishing enthusiasts and perverts.

Here a couple shares a drink with apparently no clothes on. Also, is the guy Harrison Ford? Looks like him. Not going to judge him.

Sure, everything’s being annihilated during a nuclear holocaust. But this guy’s still singing and wearing a suit. Even he’ll eventually end up vaporized.

Seems like this guy’s been stuck in quarantine way too long. Given that he’s taken to the bottle.

Okay, I don’t think the guy on the right is Elton John. But he sure seems dressed like him.

Look I’m sure he’s a nice harmless, guy. But smiling like that in that weird hair and placing his shoulders on a boy like that just gives me creepy vibes for some reason. Maybe I’ve heard too many stories on child sex abuse. I don’t know.

I don’t know about you. But I wonder if this woman’s got an eating disorder since you can barely see her boobs. Then again, maybe it’s photoshop.

For God’s sake, he’s wearing a horned helmet and fur vest. Resembles less of an opera singer or fierce Viking and more of a guy you’d see eating turkey legs at the Renaissance Festival.

Apparently, they haven’t gotten used to wearing their human body suits since landing on earth. Also, the women seemed to take their hairdos straight from an outdated magazine.

Seriously, the guy’s posing with Smurfs while wearing a bowler hat. Need I say more.

I get that these underwater shows are a thing in Florida. But why do an album? I’m sure it’s not a musical.

Because they’re all priests. Though I can’t be sure who’s playing the lead guitar. And the drummer’s only using a snare instead of a full set. Yet, they all can forget about groupies since a celibacy vow forbids it.

Seriously, I don’t think Angie’s in the mood to dance with Johnny. Doesn’t want to embarrass herself.

Here he is showing a picture of a naked woman’s butt. I’m sure the parents will be all right with that (sarcasm).

Would you trust these guys with valet parking? For God’s sake, why the hell am I asking that question?”

Though he might have something hidden in his hair. Perhaps a card, maybe.

Also, the background is cracked. Still, the guy looks kind of out of place in his porn stache. Not sure why.

Okay, he’s not Weird Al as a sea captain on too many drugs. But you’d almost assume that.

While the woman’s hair looks incredibly flammable and she doesn’t seem very comfortable with the guy. Then again, he seems more like a used car salesman than a Christian singer.

I at first thought she was a guy in drag by the look in her face. Still, she appears to see what her neighbor’s up to on her concrete patio.

Or does the guy near the silverware know that after posing with the food, the conversation will somehow descend to politics one way or another. And he knows many of his relatives voted for Trump.

As a commenter from Bored Panda noted: “That’s no miracle. That’s an evil ghost dwelling in your house.”

Brought to you by the 1970s magic of photoshop. And even by 1970s standards, I’ve seen better.

He’s got his banjos strategically placed. But hey, at least he’s not from Deliverance.. Yet, you don’t want to see your dad like this.

From Bored Panda: “Unfortunately, this album was Randy’s last call for help before his mother completely consumed him and he lived the rest of his life in her basement, never kissing, let alone meeting, a girl.”

Though why she’s dressed for a fancy barbecue I have no clue. But it’s not a suitable attire for hunting or riding.

Yeah, might want to pass on this album. Seems like a recruiting poster for a polygamist cult.

Says, “There are no bananas today” in Dutch. That’s a lie.

Heard she’s an Italian porn star who later became a singer and politician. So there’s hope for you yet, Stormy Daniels.

Here the accordion player does his thing while wondering if it’s all worth living. Contemplating the inevitability of death.

He was later busted for sexual assault on lady statues. #Metoostatue.

Seriously, didn’t Bill Cosby end up going to prison for pulling shit like this? For God’s sake, this guy either raped this woman or murdered her. Not sure which is worse.

From Bored Panda: “No, see, you were supposed to either prop the album up inside the fridge so when you went to snack you saw him glaring at you, or you tied it to a string and hung it in the middle of the kitchen doorway so it hit you in the face when you went to snack.”

Then again, we don’t just live on bread alone. However, we still need to eat. Though she’d be wearing a mask today.

From Bored Panda: “Unbeknownst to a lot of people, Star Wars was originally written as a rock opera, and the Red Guards were not Emperor Palpatine’s personal bodyguards, but were a band of travelling minstrels. Then George Lucas got involved, and the entire mood changed.”

Then again, they seem like the guys you’d meet in the ye Old Port Royal gay nightclub. Don’t ask about the booty there.

The women also wear skimpy lederhosen that wouldn’t suit the alpine climate. One even has her legs stretched.

You can see Dr. Neil Degrasse Tyson on his Twitter feed now. “You can’t roast hotdogs on the moon. There’s no atmosphere. You can’t even breathe or start a fire on there.” Way to ruin it, Dr. Tyson.

Okay, they’re a music duo. But the anatomical picture just looks really freaky.

For some reason, I have serious doubts she’s a virgin. Also, she should’ve known she was pregnant by now.

I don’t understand the sci-fi concept behind this album cover. I mean the guy’s in blue make up with a weird diamond helmet.

Is that a dead hooker in the car? Okay, that’s really disturbing. Hell, this whole album cover is unsettling.

Apparently, being surrounded by clowns can put you in a rather terrifying situation. Also, why isn’t Pennywise in here?

Seriously, this guy kind of reminds me of those bad 1980s prom pictures. Funnier that he’s wearing a shiny striped suit with a stern expression.

Of course, how they could fit in this old pop can, I’ll never know. Let’s not think about this one too hard.

Still, the guy’s posing with women who look awfully young. While his eyes bear some ill intent. Don’t like where this is going.

Yes, the animal masks are freaky. But what the hell are they doing in a hospital operating room with a fake body on the gurney?

Since his wife left him, Conway’s fashion sense has gone out the window. He’s kind of bitter about the divorce. His wife’s got a lawyer and is suing him for half his assets.

When we start settling Mars, we might have to train astronauts to be truck drivers. Not sure how that’s going to work out.

Those 1970s haircuts certainly don’t help either. That one guy in the back knows how lame this photo op is.

Then again, to each his own. After all, Ed could really be a nice guy. But that doesn’t help his hairstyle.

Actually he’s wearing a 1970s jumpsuit and a necklace. But yeah, he probably spent too much time at the tanning salon that day.

I mean the instruments consist of accordion, banjo, and electric guitars. Also, that one guy looks like David Hasselhoff.

Here he jumps to reach a star in front of a large crowd of people. While he holds a white guitar in his hand that matches his jumpsuit. Don’t ask me who came up with this idea.

Apparently, you can sit on it, too. As long as the long staff is well into your ass. Boy, that woman’s going to be sore. But for now, she’s reading like it doesn’t seem to bother her.

The one guy in the bathroom’s reading a newspaper with shoes and socks on like it’s nothing. While the women on the other side are checking him out.

Helps if you dress in a jingling bikini that resembles what Princess Leia would wear if Jabba’s palace was a disco. Yet, she doesn’t wear the long chain nor strangle a huge blob monster who used her frozen boyfriend as wall decoration.

I bet the mom’s like, “I shall call her Mini Me.” Hell, they’re wearing the same pink dress.

Man, these outfits are atrocious. Look at the pink top with gold sleeves. Is it 1970s or what?

They even have chain around a dog and one guy holds a big cigar. But badass they are not.

Seriously, why is her reflection appearing in the glass like that? Does she think she has something on her nose?

I mean she’s literally tied to a man by her wrists with rope. And she’s wearing a Sword-and-Sandal costume. So is she supposed to be dragged? Or is she kind of into it? Because I want to know how to feel here.

Still, I know they’re supposed to be prison stripes. But they kind of remind me of pajamas. Also how is he able to play guitar on the rocks?

Nonetheless, I think the cover is more appropriate for “Prisoners of Love.” Also, this pen seems to have a very generous conjugal visit policy.

Yes, this a soundtrack from a forgettable Jane Fonda movie. Still, naked in the jungle, what can possibly go wrong with that?

Okay, it’s probably not a porn movie and I apologize to anyone offended. Still, I’m sure these two are about to play “doctor” at any moment. Seriously, look how the guy’s grabbing the woman’s leg.

Apparently, the cover implies that a Roman orgy’s just a fancy toga party. But it’s more like a hedonistic free for all with drinking, partying, and group sex.

You’d almost think it was a 1980s version of The Office starring Jerry Seinfeld and Jason Alexander. Got to like that one guy’s shirt.

So, how can you roast hotdogs on the moon? It has no atmosphere so you can’t light a fire. Oh, those guys are climbing on the sticks? Was the designer on drugs?

Heard that he was a musician and shop teacher by day. And a porn star by night during the 1970s. Naturally, him and Adrien aren’t on speaking terms.

He wears a mask because he’s fugitive from another state. Not what he did. Still, reminds me of a Will Ferrell SNL sketch for some reason.

The one guy is framed in a star because he couldn’t make it to the photo session. But he wore the same outfit nonetheless.

Because “Terri” is a female rendition of that name. But the person kind of has a more masculine disposition. Then again, maybe Terri’s just gender fluid.

Funny, how one could easily pass as Matthew McConaughey’s grandmother. Hope she plays alright, alright, alright.

Heard he got his start playing polka music at a nudist colony. Then again, he seems to have stripped all his clothes off.

These guys have such blase expressions that they see no hope out of their boring and meaningless lives. Though I like that front man’s tie.

And yet his clothes don’t seem the slightest bit wet. Then again, it’s photoshop.

For God’s sake would you take the name Wilfahrt seriously? Also, that dancing couple seems all too happy.

Well, maybe Russians don’t mind women not shaving. Since they’re probably more focused on trying to get by. Still, she looks pretty silly in that outfit. Also what are those strings with balls supposed to mean?

So basically this cover consists of women mooning. I’m sure the moral guardians won’t be happy with that.

I mean the guy seems more right at home on Stranger Things. Also, is he smoking a cigarette?

So is he supposed to be the Yugoslavian equivalent to David Bowie or Boy George? Also the name Mandic is hard to take seriously as an English speaker.

Then again, it kind of makes sense. Since Italians are into soccer and high fashion. Still, the woman seems like a snake lady to me.

I think this might’ve become a meme. Still, I don’t think you can dance to that song listing. Also kind of reminds me of Matthew McConaughey for some reason.

Still, they shouldn’t be there. No, I don’t see anything wrong with women on a back hoe. But these women aren’t clad in the proper safety equipment. So they run a high risk of injury or death.

Seriously, why would anyone have a song about eating kids? Is this an album used to traumatize children?

After all, she wouldn’t want anything to scald her uh, boobs. Yes, I get that her boobs get considerable attention on this cover.

Because what makes a wholesome image of ragtime like seeing a fat rich guy being served by 2 hookers. Seriously, the woman’s putting some money in her stocking.

Despite that nobody dresses like that nowadays. Still, I don’t think he’ll find any gold with this album.