Armed Teachers: Are you F#@king Kidding Me?

At 2:19 p.m. on Wednesday, February 14, 2018, a former student went on a shooting rampage at Marjory Stoneman Douglas High School in Parkland, Florida. When the firing subsided, 17 people were dead. 12 of the victims were found inside the school, 2 outside the building, 1 on the street, and 2 others died in the hospital. 14 others were injured and taken to local hospitals with many in critical condition. According to students, chaos ensued when a fire alarm sounded near dismissal time. The shooter started firing outside before making his way through the hallways. He wore a gas mask and used smoke grenades to start picking off people as the kids came out. One student recounted classroom windows shattering and a bullet near the shades. While hiding under a teacher’s desk, she heard 4 of her injured classmates screaming in pain. As SWAT officers escorted students out of the classroom, she saw them covered in blood. One teacher told CNN that she hid her students in a closet until law enforcement arrived. TV footage showed students running single file with their hands in the air, throwing backpacks into a large pile and huddling under trees across the street. SWAT officers entered classrooms with guns drawn and escorted shaking and crying students. Worried parents crowded around the school, frantic to know whether what happened to their child.

Arrested a short distance near a home was 19-year-old Nikolas Cruz. A former student, he’d been expelled for “disciplinary reasons” but was once a member of the school’s Junior Reserved Officers Training Corps. Some students and teachers said they knew him and that he had guns. Though a quiet kid who usually kept to himself, he was uniquely troubled since had once attended a school for emotionally and disabled students. One former classmate said Cruz would joke about shooting people or establishments. He’d talk a lot about having guns and using them in different situations. He also had some anger management issues. His math teacher told a newspaper, “We were told last year that he wasn’t allowed on campus with a backpack on him. There were problems with him last year threatening students, and I guess he was asked to leave campus.” Even the Broward Sheriff’s Office showed concerns about Cruz for more than 2 years before the incident took place. In 2016, deputies went to his home more than 3 dozen times. That September, a “peer counselor” reported that Cruz might’ve attempted suicide via gasoline, was cutting himself, and wanted to buy hunting guns. His mother Lynda said her son “wrote hate signs on his book bag and had recently talked of buying firearms.” In September 2017, his comment with his intention to become a “professional school shooter” on a YouTube video was reported to the FBI in Mississippi. After his mother’s death in November, her cousin Katherine Blaine reported that Cruz owned rifles and asked the BSO to collect them. Later that month, she called the BSO again to report him fighting with her 22-year-old son. She also shared details that Cruz, “bought a gun from Dick’s last week and is now going to pick it up.” She added that he “bought tons of ammo,” and had “used a gun against (people) before” and “put the gun to others’ heads in the past.” In January 2018, the FBI received a tip “a person close to Nikolas Cruz,” alerting them to “Cruz’s gun ownership, desire to kill people, erratic behavior, and disturbing social media posts, as well as the potential of him conducting a school shooting.”

Nikolas Cruz’s arsenal consisted of an AR-15 style rifle and countless magazines, legally purchased from a Coral Springs gun store. When arrested, he had 180 rounds of ammunition left. Given that his behavior signaled red flags and local law enforcement response, it’s clear that this guy shouldn’t be able to buy a gun like that. However, if the Trayvon Martin incident should tell us anything it’s that Florida has notoriously shitty gun laws. Martin’s killer George Zimmerman was still allowed to carry a gun despite an arrest record and a history of violence. He also got away with killing a black teenager thanks its “stand your ground” which lets a person shoot an assailant if they’re attacked in a place where they have a legal right to be and avoid criminal prosecution. Despite that Martin was an unarmed teenager minding his own business when Zimmerman went after him. Orlando Pulse nightclub shooter Omar Mateen was still able to legally purchase a Saur SIG MCX semi-automatic and a 9mm Glock handgun despite a history of domestic violence and had been investigated by the FBI twice for terrorism connections. In addition, you don’t have to be a Florida resident to get a concealed carry handgun permit from its Department of Agriculture. But you don’t need a permit or license to own a gun or even conceal carry a rifle or shotgun. Nor do you have to register a firearm either. In Florida, you can buy as many guns as you want at one time. They don’t regulate assault weapons, .50-caliber rifles, or high capacity magazines either. Hell, they don’t even require a state license for gun sellers to sell firearms. It’s easy to imagine how Cruz could get weapons from a gun store to shoot up his high school. But surely local governments can enact their own gun control rules? Actually, Florida prohibits cities and counties from doing exactly that. In fact, elected officials who dare implement new gun restrictions can be fined or removed from office by the governor.

These students experienced what will be most traumatic event in their lives. It’s no surprise that several have criticized the usual “thoughts and prayers” condolences and have urged politicians to take action to prevent more children from getting killed in shootings. Some of them have demanded stricter gun control measures, organized a group called Never Again MSD, and condemned lawmakers who’ve received contributions from the National Rifle Association. On February 17, they held a rally at Fort Lauderdale attended by hundreds. On February 20, dozens of Stoneman Douglas High School students marched to the State Capitol in Tallahassee, where they watched the Florida House of Representatives reject a bill that would’ve banned assault weapons and high capacity magazines in a 71-36 vote. More than 3,000 attended a rally at the Florida State Capitol the following day while state’s students orchestrated a mass walkout. Never Again MSD and other groups have also played in pressuring corporations into revoking their NRA sponsorships and discounts to NRA members.

But these students’ crusade has attracted considerable backlash from the NRA and its allies on the political right. Conspiracy theorists claimed they’re “crisis actors,” left-wing puppets, or just kids. Some pundits see these students’ reactions as emotional and immature, which the media is taking too seriously. As the National Review’s Ben Shapiro wrote, “What, pray tell, did these students do to earn their claim to expertise?” The NRA and its allies have also pinned mass shootings on mental health, violent media, the mainstream news, and anything else but guns. Yet, what concerns me are what the NRA and its allies propose to do to prevent mass shooting epidemic. Instead of challenging the National Rifle Association’s grip on American gun politics or an assault weapons ban, some conservatives have suggested measures like putting armed drones in schools, using Homeland security technology to create barriers against potential shooters, arming retired police and military personnel to guard classrooms, or using the same security mechanisms as airports. All these policy ideas bring the “police state” into the classroom. As someone who grew up in the wake of Columbine with transparent backpacks, metal detectors, security cameras, and morning security checks, I don’t want to encourage any of it. Some of them are utterly ridiculous, expensive and impractical. Armed drones were designed to kill, cost as much as $30,000, and would be extremely dangerous in a school setting. Even conservatives have decried the Transportation Security Administration’s ineffectiveness and heavy-handed policies (like missing 95% of weapons and explosives in 2015). Not to mention, its annual budget is $7.5 billion for 15,000 airports, let alone 98,000 public schools. Oh, according to the National Association of School Resource Officers, around 40% of public schools have at least one full-time or part-time SRO. MSD High School and every single high school in its district had one. Only 12 states have laws specifying requirements for law enforcement officials working in schools which may or may not involve preparing for mass shootings. Besides, SRO and student confrontations have increased in recent years. Metal detectors have also proved ineffective.

However, the most crackbrained idea in the NRA school of mass shooting prevention is arming teachers, which Donald Trump has endorsed even if it means paying “a little bit of bonus” to do so. Apparently, this is an extension of the “good guy with a gun” myth, which states that if more people are armed, they can stop violence before it gets worse or prevent it altogether. However, this is just a mere fantasy you see in action movies. There’s no good research on the effect of arming teachers or putting armed police or security in schools, which by itself should raise red flags. But based on the evidence we have, there’s enough to suggest that putting more guns in schools could make gun violence worse. The notion of arming teachers is so completely insane that even teachers don’t want anything to do with it.

The fundamental problem with gun violence in the United States is that there are so many guns in circulation already. As a result, it’s easier for any conflict to escalate into a form of gun violence. And that’s why the US has more shootings than its developed peers. Add more guns, you get more gun violence and more gun deaths. Sure some people have successfully defended themselves from attacks with guns. But arming more people typically does more harm than good. Apply that lesson to school, then Donald Trump’s armed teacher proposal could be downright dangerous.

The United States has way more gun deaths than other developed nations and far more guns than any other country in the world. It also has by far the highest number of privately owned guns which was 88.8 per 100 people, followed by the quasi-failed state of Yemen which had 54.8 guns per 100 people. Though mass shootings only constitute less than 2% of such deaths in 2013, the US holds 31% of global mass shooters. Of course, guns aren’t the only contributor to violence. But when researchers control other confounding variables, they’ve repeatedly found that America’s high levels of gun ownership are a major reason why the US experiences far more gun violence than its developed peers.

A 1999 Berkeley study found that the US doesn’t have more crime than other developed nations. It’s that the prevalence of guns largely drives more lethal violence. As Professors Franklin Zimring and Gordon Hawkins wrote, “A series of specific comparisons of the death rates from property crime and assault in New York City and London show how enormous differences in death risk can be explained even while general patterns are similar. A preference for crimes of personal force and the willingness and ability to use guns in robbery make similar levels of property crime 54 times as deadly in New York City as in London.” People all over the world get into arguments and fights with friends, family, and peers. But in the US, it’s much more likely that someone will get in an argument and be able to pull out a gun and kill someone. Now imagine a school scenario where some kids or teachers get into an argument while there’s a gun in class. When someone reaches for it, what may have turned into an otherwise feisty argument escalates into a fatal clash. Considering that shootings have erupted over cheeseburger and taco disputes, people can do stupid things in the heat of the moment. Americans don’t have a monopoly on arguing about stupid shit. But what it does have is an easy access to guns, making escalation much more likely. Being on the autistic spectrum, an increased presence of guns in schools is the stuff of nightmares. Arming teachers will only increase the presence of guns, which could lead to more gun violence and school shootings.

While the NRA likes to promote the idea of owning a gun as a way to defend oneself against criminals, statistics show that for every justifiable gun homicide, there were 34 criminal gun homicides, 78 gun suicides, and 2 accidental gun deaths. An FBI report on active shooter events between 2000 and 2013 found that armed civilians stopped only 3% of them. By contrast, unarmed civilians actually stopped 13% incidents. 56% of them ended on the shooter’s own initiative when they killed themselves, simply shot shooting, or fled the scene. Since there’s no good research for answers, it’s difficult to say whether more access to guns could’ve prevented these shootings. But since the US already has a lot of guns, it’s likely to make the overall gun violence problem worse, not better.

Finally, and most importantly, Donald Trump and the NRA’s comments about arming teachers suggest that this would be an easy and quick way to end mass shootings. According to a tweet last week, “History shows that a school shooting lasts, on average, 3 minutes. It takes police & first responders approximately 5 to 8 minutes to get to site of crime. Highly trained, gun adept, teachers/coaches would solve the problem instantly, before police arrive. GREAT DETERRENT!” Except that arming people doesn’t mean they can properly respond to a mass shooting. As Pennsylvania police investigator Chris Benton told ABC News, “Video games and movies, they glorify gunfights. [People] get that warped sense that this is true — this video game is exactly what I can do in real life. That’s not reality.” Multiple simulations have demonstrated that if placed in an active shooting situation while armed, most people wouldn’t be able to stop the situation. If anything, they may do little more than get themselves killed in the process. More recently, The Daily Show’s Jordan Klepper put this theory to the test in a more comedic simulated segment. As a correspondent at the time, he trained in the basics of using firearms and received a concealed carry permit valid in 30 states. He then participated in mass shooting situations to see how he’d hold up in such a scenario. He failed miserably. In his final test simulating a school shooting, he shot an unarmed civilian and was shot multiple times by active shooters and even law enforcement who mistook him for the bad guy. He never took down the active shooters. Let’s just say that he would’ve been much better off if he waited for the cops while hiding under a desk.

What gun rights activists sold on the NRA’s “good guy with a gun” fantasy ignore is that mass shootings are traumatizing, terrifying events. Without dozens to hundreds of hours in training, most people aren’t going to quickly and properly respond to mass shootings, As Advanced Law Enforcement Rapid Response Training senior instructor Cobey Briehn told Klepper, “There’s never enough training. You can never get enough.” According to an FBI analysis of active shooters between 2000 and 2013, “Law enforcement suffered casualties in 21 (46.7%) of the 45 incidents where they engaged the shooter to end the threat.” These people trained to do this kind of thing full time. Yet, nearly half of these incidents resulted in at least one officer getting wounded or killed. Teachers with limited training would fare much worse. Of course, that’s if armed personnel even respond.
Yet, Marjory Stoneman Douglas High School’s resource officer Scot Peterson was armed and trained for a mass shooter scenario. According to the NRA’s convoluted logic, this good guy with a gun should’ve been able to stop Nikolas Cruz from shooting up his school. But when Peterson heard actual gunfire, he ran towards the building but didn’t go in. Instead, he waited for 4-6 minutes until the gunshots stopped. It’s like he didn’t know whether to shit or wind his watch. That doesn’t mean that “a good guy with a gun” wouldn’t ever be able to stop a shooter. For there are high-profile cases where it’s been the case. But most findings from news organizations to The Daily Show heavily suggest that this idea often plays out very differently than what the NRA and Trump supporters envision. Sometimes that could result in more innocent people caught in the crossfire.

The research makes it perfectly clear. If the United States wants to confront gun violence, it should consider reducing the number of guns in circulation, not arming teachers. What people do with their guns at home is their business. But there is no place for guns in a public space, especially a school. While many may think that gun free zones make people defenseless in an active shooter situation, unarmed civilians have stopped 13% of mass shootings. Besides, your odds of survival in an active shooter scenario are much higher if you try to avoid getting killed like hiding in a closet or under a table. No student should have to die because some middle age white guy wants to play Rambo with a brand-new assault rifle. If he wants to play Rambo, he should buy a semi-automatic nerf gun from Toys R’ Us like his kids do. Or a super soaker. At least you won’t kill anyone with either. Oh, those guns don’t look real enough for a big, brawny tough guy? Well, use your imagination like most kids do when playing with their toys.

Arming teachers to prevent future massacres in the classroom is a ludicrously stupid idea, especially since a Georgia high school teacher blockaded his door and proceeded to shoot. According to Donald Trump and his allies, teachers should be capable of “neutralizing” “threats.” In other words, killing their students. If you’re a teacher, imagine waking up every morning knowing that you might have to take the life of a young person in your care, should the unthinkable happen. Imagine this being part of your job like assigning extra homework or detention. Should Jimmy pull a knife and you or your students feel sufficiently threatened, could you point a gun at him and shoot him until he’s dead? Even if at the risk of accidentally killing his classmates? Besides, while there are plenty of fine teachers in our nation’s public school system, you’ll also find plenty of idiots and perverts. Some white teachers may be racist who might feel threatened if a student of color acts up. Would you trust them with a gun? Some teachers may not have the eyesight or the physical capability to handle weapons. Some teachers may not be emotionally able to handle such responsibility of taking a student’s life due to nervous breakdowns. Some teachers might be irresponsible with their instruments of death that their piece might somehow end up in a student’s hands. Then what? A student getting a gun can present lots of terrible possibilities. Others may not want anything to do with guns at all. Not to mention, what if guns in the classroom keep children from attending school? There are many ways this can go horribly wrong.

It’s distressing that people in this country think putting weapons in teachers’ hands is the only way to prevent students from killing each other with guns. Yet, arming teachers is a way for these people to ensure children’s safety without making sacrifices for the greater good. And by sacrifices, I mean buying a semi-automatic they don’t need to play soldier with, give a false sense of security, and assure their toughness and masculinity. A society with armed teachers isn’t one that promotes freedom or safety. Since you’re one social faux pas or trigger away from getting your head blown off by a stranger. That is not a society I want to live in. Nor do most Americans, in that matter. Teachers shouldn’t have to pack heat knowing that they may have to kill a student in a mass shooting situation. If we want to keep students safe in school, then we need to keep guns out of the classroom.

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Spring Into These Easter Craft Projects (Third Edition)

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Now that I’ve gotten the treats over with, it’s on to the craft projects. As you can see, most of these are associated with spring like bunnies, flowers, butterflies, sheep, chicks, and colored eggs. You may even find some outdoor decorations like you see above. Yet, alongside St. Patrick’s Day decorations, Easter decor isn’t out of view since it might fall sometime after March 17. While many people might put some Easter decorations up on their houses, some may prefer to make their own. And for your reading pleasure, I give you another assortment of Easter craft projects for you to enjoy.

  1. You can’t go wrong with a bunny centerpiece on moss.

Includes a plaster bunny with fancy Easter eggs. Goes well with a daffodil bouquet.

2. Don’t forget to hang your bunnies with your carrots.

The carrots are orange while the bunnies are green and fuzzy. Includes balls of green and orange yarn.

3. Care for a wooden bunny spoon?

Well, she’s made from a wooden spoon. Her arms are made from pipe cleaners while she sports purple bows.

4. Welcome your Easter guests with this egg and flower wreath.

Well, this mostly consists of pastel Easter eggs with small flowers. Perfect for any spring door.

5. Welcome spring with a bird’s nest behind glass.

Don’t worry, the bird’s nest isn’t real. Yet, you have to admire the flowery branches it sits on.

6. Got plastic eggs? Make a wreath out of it.

The eggs come in a variety of colors. And it contains 3 bows in Easter ribbon.

7. This bunny rag wreath can get anyone hopping.

Well, it’s tied with rags of pastel colors. And it certainly looks quite snazzy in a bow tie.

8. To be closer to nature, you might prefer a wreath of moss.

It’s covered in moss as well as consist of a bird’s nest and 3 roses. Lovely.

9. Step out this Easter wearing this ribbon carrot pin.

You may have to use green and orange ribbons. But it seems rather simple to make.

10. Spring into Easter with this lamp.

This one has a bunny with eggs. Love the pink and purple ribbon and flowers.

11. For a more holy Easter, a cross wreath with lilies will do nicely.

It’s a grapevine wreath with lilies and a boy. Simple yet stunning.

12. You’ll find these tiny bunnies snug in their carrots.

All these are made out of felt and are used as bunny sleeping bags. I’m sure kids will love these. So cute.

13. Grace your front door with a green rabbit wreath.

This one has fake foliage with burlap ears and bow. And like all bunny wreaths, it includes a fluffy tail.

14. Nothing makes Easter like a bunny shutter.

This one has a bunny painted on an old shutter. Also has colored eggs on the border.

15. What would Easter be without a fluffy chick?

This fuzzy chickie is made out of pom poms. And yes, it’s so cute.

16. Make your Easter table with this table runner.

Two sides have quilted colored eggs. The middle consists of a grid of pastel squares.

17. Don’t like wreaths? How about a deco mesh carrot?

Yes, it’s mostly in orange with a green top. But you’re sure to dupe any rabbit with a carrot fix.

18. Didn’t know flowers can sprout from eggs.

This is a centerpiece that has flowers rising from bulbs in the eggs. It’s supposed to represent the start of spring.

19. Perhaps you might want a bouquet of purple flowers at your door.

Includes lilacs and tulips in a white vase hung from the top. Sure they’re fake but they’re beautiful.

20. For a more penitent Easter, you might want to go with this panel.

Well, Easter is a religious holiday denoting Christ’s resurrection. So expect a lot of crosses.

21. Sometimes the less Easter egg you have the better.

Well, these are made out of yarn and glue. But you have to admire the creative spirit to create this wreath.

22. Looks like a potted plant just fell victim to a bunny infestation.

Actually no, since it’s an Easter decoration. But it’s nonetheless clever and adorable.

23. You can’t have an egg wreath without some carrots.

The wreath is light blue while eggs are in all kinds of colors and patterns. So lovely.

24. This little chick has some long-eared aspirations.

This is a little crocheted chick dressed in a bunny costume. So cute.

25. Spring always brings the best in all of us with this Easter wreath and panel.

It’s a panel that says “Hope.” The ‘O’ is a wreath of yellow flowers.

26. This bunny says “Feliz Pasca” with a patched up heart.

“Feliz Pasca” is “Happy Easter” in Spanish. But this is quite adorable, no matter what language you speak.

27. Nothing says Easter like a flower basket with lights.

This consists of flowers, eggs, and a bunny. Put it anywhere in the house and people will adore it.

28. Yellow flowers can always enhance a wreath of Easter eggs.

The eggs are mostly plastic. But if you have a lot of these, here’s an idea to consider.

29. This bunny wreath has Easter eggs all over.

This is made out of yarn and you can see the pastel eggs all over. They almost seem to resemble Christmas lights.

30. Instead of a wreath, why not try an Easter basket?

Okay, it’s a decomesh Easter basket wreath. But it nonetheless contains Easter eggs.

31. Seems this little bunny really loves a carrot.

Well, I think it’s a plush bunny and carrot of some sort. Yet, nobody could resist that bunny face.

32. Nothing welcomes spring like a pink tulip wreath.

How else could you welcome spring? And yes, these flowers are gorgeous.

33. The bunny and chick come from the same carrot on this panel.

Well, that’s kind of bizarre. But you have to appreciate the sentiment behind it.

34. No Easter is complete without a bunny doily.

This has white bunnies all around in an Easter egg background. And yes, they’re adorable.

35. You’ll be hard not to resist these little bunny heads.

These are plush figures made from some flowery cloth. And all have bows on their ears. So sweet.

36. You’d swear this Easter egg was all buttons.

Actually it consists of buttons sewn on a cloth. But it has a certain Easter charm.

37. A basket always has room for 2.

However, we all know that in the rabbit world, 1+1 = infinity. Because you know how they produce a lot of young in a short timespan.

38. On an Easter wreath, make sure the flowers really stand out.

This one has pink and purple flowers with matching ribbons. But it’s an Easter wreath since it includes eggs.

39. Light up your Easter with this paper bunny lantern.

You can find a paper lantern at any craft store by the way. But make sure you add some bunny attributes and a bow tie.

40. Care for a red cabbage bouquet?

I’m sure the cabbage and flowers are fake. Since a real cabbage may not make such an elegant vase. So pretty.

41. Seems like we have some eggs on the flowers.

That or it’s rather magnificent bird’s nest. Still, wouldn’t mind having this at my house.

42. Didn’t know you can carry flowers in an umbrella.

Actually, I’ve seen a few of these before. But none were nearly spectacular as this bouquet.

43. For vibrancy, just add a butterfly.

Well, a pink butterfly anyway. But if you like a bright color wreath for Easter, this is for you.

44. Perhaps a shiny egg tree may suit your fancy.

Mostly consists of pink, blue, gold, and green ones. Yet, add some yellow tulle and a pink bow, it stuns.

45. There’s nothing better than an Easter egg decked with buttons.

Make sure the buttons are in pastel colors but shape doesn’t matter. Helps that it’s set atop a flower pot.

46. While we’re in the spring of things, here’s a cabbage tulip bouquet.

The tulips here are in purple, lavender, and orange. And the cabbage is a normal green.

47. To mark this holy occasion, a cross with white flowers is recommended.

Cross consists of sticks tied together. Still, the flowers are really pretty.

48. Everyone would love to see flowers on your Easter table.

Not sure if the flowers are real or fake. But make sure you include some Easter eggs.

49. If you’re not into flowers, perhaps you might like this centerpiece.

It’s a basket with some vases and bunnies. Perfect for any spring Easter celebration.

50. Nobody could resist this festive Easter basket.

Has plenty of flowers and eggs at your desire. And you can’t help but endear yourself to the two bunnies.

51. Enhance your Easter table with this Easter egg table runner.

The quilted eggs are of different colors and patterns. And you got to love the colors on the border.

52. A wooden chocolate bunny is a quality Easter decoration.

Sure you can’t eat it. Yet, what’s Easter without a chocolate bunny?

53. Make sure the bottles on your Easter bouquets match what’s in them.

The bottles are white, blue, and lavender. And each contains purple flowers, reeds, and Easter eggs.

54. You’ll find some colorful birds in this tree.

This is a flowering tree with birds of several different colors. And everything here is made from what you’d find at a craft store.

55. Speaking of trees, bring Easter joy with this tree of Easter eggs.

They have trees like this in Germany, by the way. So I guess this is the small apartment version.

56. A bunny wreath should always have floppy ears and paws.

It’s also decorated with flowers and eggs. And it is touched with a lavender bow.

57. Grace your front door with a floral egg carton wreath.

Didn’t know egg cartons could make such vibrant flowers. Love it.

58. Serve your guests with this Easter egg table runner.

This one has rather fancy eggs in several colors and patterns. It even has chicks around the border.

59. Don’t forget to add a few carrots.

Okay, these aren’t real so don’t try to eat them. But they’re great for a door decoration.

60. You can’t get enough of these clothespin bunnies.

These are painted in pastel colors as well as have eyes and flower on their ears. So cute.

61. You can have a fancy bouquet with Easter eggs.

The eggs are mostly lavender. The flowers are mostly white and pink.

62. You can’t get enough of a bunny in a nest.

Well, it’s a bunny in a large bird’s nest. Also includes a lot of flowers and foliage.

63. You can’t go wrong with a tulle egg wreath in the Easter season.

And it comes with all the Easter touches. Great for welcoming springtime. Love it.

64. You’ll need some eggs for that flower basket.

This is in a metal basket and the eggs are white. But that doesn’t make it less Eastery.

65. An egg and flower wreath is an ideal place for a rabbit.

This one has a bunny in the center. While the eggs and flowers are in pastel colors.

66. Apparently, this little chickie has come out of its shell.

It’s an amigurumi chick that just hatched. And yes, it’s adorably fuzzy.

67. A bunny is at home among the flowers.

Apparently, this looks like a very expensive centerpiece. But the flowers are quite pretty.

68. Anyone would be overjoyed with these Easter egg trees.

The trees may be of different heights. But each is covered in pastel eggs that almost appear sweet as candy.

69. Set your Easter dish on this felt bunny doily.

It’s a green doily with white bunny and fancy eggs. Love the flowers.

70. You’ll chirp for these glittery birdhouses.

Each glittery house has a fuzzy bird or 2. Some are yellow. Some are pink.

71. You’d rejoice to this purple decomesh wreath.

This one is all Easter eggs. Two are in fancy colors. The rest are significantly smaller.

72. You’d almost think these carrots sprouted flowers.

Actually they’re bouquets wrapped in orange cloth. Clever if you look at it.

73. A flower basket should come with its own bunny.

This is a wall hanging with a couple flower baskets. All to celebrate the coming of spring.

74. This hanging basket will bring you some Easter joy.

The flowers are all yellow. The Easter eggs are all in shiny glitter. Love it.

75. A tulip bouquet should always include peeps and grass.

Best part about this bouquet is that everything’s in purple. Wouldn’t mind having it on my Easter table.

76. Looks like a little bunny’s gotten into that purse.

It’s a pink bunny purse for Easter. Great for church or the parade. Comes with bunny ears sticking out in the front pocket.

77. Nothing says happy Easter like a wooden bunny outside your door.

Yes, the wood has a fine texture to it. Love how it has a blue bow around its neck.

78. Didn’t know you’d find bunnies in a candy dispenser.

The bunnies are mostly pink. Yet, I think these are quite clever. So cute.

79. You can always dress a rusty urn with Easter eggs.

It mostly consist of an Easter egg wreath on a plant. Not sure if it’s easy. But it’s quite ingenious.

80. Greet the Easter evening with these Easter egg candles.

You can put them on a table with flowers. Hope some of them come scented.

81. Make sure you keep your bird’s nests in a terrarium jar.

These come in 3 different sizes. Some even have flowers and butterflies.

82. Perhaps you might delight to an Easter egg table spread.

This is made from strips of fabric. And each stripe is in a unique color and pattern.

83. Cuddle up with these sock bunnies.

Each one is stuffed with cotton and tied with a bow. And yes, they’re all irresistibly adorable.

84. Bring in the Easter spirit with a bunny in a box on an urn.

Helps if it includes tulips. Like how the bunny is holding a carrot in its paws.

85. With these amigurumi chick, you’ll chirp with glee.

Each of these chickies is in a flower skirt. But you just want to hold these in your hand and snuggle.

86. Rejoice in the resurrection with this decomesh lavender cross.

Even comes with purple flowers. Wouldn’t mind having this on my door.

87. Nothing makes a better Easter centerpiece like this 3 tiered basket.

Each tier has eggs and bunnies. Really brings spring in the air, doesn’t it?

88. It’s always spring in your home with this Easter basket on your door.

Even has the word “Spring” in eggs. But the red tulips really stand out.

89. Hope you can hang some Easter eggs on your flowers.

Not sure why people do this. But this is a rather stunning bouquet nonetheless.

90. Light up your Easter with this bunny glass block.

This one has fuzzy and sequined ears. Yet, you have the love the pom pom cheeks. So cute.

91. Some may prefer more bedazzling Easter eggs.

Never thought I’d see sparkly Easter eggs before. So shiny. Love these.

92. How about a large peep on your front door?

Yes, peeps aren’t fit for human consumption. But it’s quite adorable nonetheless.

93. Don’t let your little bunny go on an egg hunt without these bunny bags.

Now these are just so great. Each bag has long ears and a fluffy cotton tail.

94. How about an egg in cloth strips?

Each is in pastel strips sewn on a cloth canvas. Perfect for any Easter home.

95. Step out this Easter wearing a ribbon Easter basket pin.

Each is a basket of pink with eggs inside. All of them are in dots patterns.

96. Peep lovers would adore this sign.

All the bunnies are in glitter. Though peeps candy are inedible, this is one awesome sign.

97. Bring spring joy to your home with an Easter tree.

Well, they have trees for every holiday these days. Still, love the lights.

98. A butterfly at the nest is a sign of spring.

Has Easter eggs inside. And the nest is over the branch.

99. Ladies and gentlemen, I give you the Care Bunnies.

Each of these bunnies are made of pom poms. And each is adorable in its own way.

100. You can’t have Easter without a fuzzy bunny wreath.

This yarn wreath even has fringes on the edges. Great to hang on your front door for the Easter season.

Hop Down the Bunny Trail for These Easter Treats (Fourth Edition)

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Though it’s still February, the fact St. Patrick’s Day and Easter can be so close to each other some years means I have to do posts with bunnies, colored eggs, chicks, flowers, and pastels after shamrocks and leprechauns. This year is no different since Easter falls on April 1, which is also April Fool’s Day. Nonetheless, it’s a day marked with egg hunts, springtime, and family gatherings. It’s also a religious holiday marking Jesus rising from the dead after his crucifixion on Good Friday. Still, even though I do a lot of posts on Easter, it’s not one of my favorite holidays. Mostly because it’s less fun if you’re an adult and don’t live where there’s an Easter parade. And the peep diorama contests take a lot of work. Anyway, for your reading pleasure, I give you another assortment of Easter treats.

  1. Care for a bunny peep cup?

    Not sure if these are even edible. But people will feel charmed by these treats.

    2. Treat yourself this Easter to some Oreo sheep.

    These are Oreos covered with icing and marshmallows. And yes, the sheep has a smiley face.

    3. Nothing says Easter like a chocolate bunny candy cake.

    This one has 2 chocolate bunnies in pastel peanut M&M. The Kit Kats fence them in.

    4. Try pulling a bunny out of this hat.

    Yes, it’s a cake of a bunny inside a hat. And the magic wand is a pretzel stick.

    5. These Easter egg cookies go well on any springtime dessert platter.

    This one has Easter peanut M&Ms on icing grass. Make they are in all different colors.

    6. Welcome spring with these fancy floral cookies.

    Yes, they’re undoubtedly professionally made. Yet, they’re nevertheless works of art in their own right.

    7. You’ll be chirping for these chicky cake pops.

    Each of these is on a stick within a pot of grass. So adorable you can eat them up.

    8. These spring flowers make a unique Easter snack.

    Each of these has pastel M&Ms on a waffle pretzel. And all kept together with icing.

    9. No little bunny could resist this Bento Easter lunch.

    This one consists of 2 bunny sandwiches that are rubbing noses with each other. Now isn’t that cute?

    10. You’ll find these chick cookies all packed in an egg carton.

    Each of these is an egg shape depicting a chick hatching. Yes, they’re professionally made. But they’re adorable.

    11. Any mother hen minding her chicks will adore this bento lunch.

    Well, they’re all made of rice and dressed. The chicks even have similar hats.

    12. Check out the chicks from these deviled eggs.

    Okay, that’s kind of disturbing if you really think about it. I mean most of these eggs come from chickens.

    13. Seems like the bunnies made themselves at home on this cake.

    On the top, a couple are having a picnic. On the bottom, a couple are scurrying home.

    14. For an Easter snack, may I suggest some popcorn sheep?

    Actually these consists of 2 sheep and a tree. The fence is made from the waffle sandwich cookies.

    15. Bunny cookies should come in all colors.

    Each of them is in white polka dots. And yes, they’re professionally made.

    16. You’d be a bad egg not to include these chicky deviled eggs.

    These have olive eyes. Makes them seem bloodshot while emerging from their hardboiled eggshells.

    17. Speaking of chicks, you can’t go wrong with these chicky cupcakes.

    Each of these includes a chick hatched from an egg along with flowers on grass. And yes, these are professionally made.

    18. There’s something twisty about these bunny rolls.

    These are rolls made from dough meant to resemble a bunny in twisty fashion. And yes, they include the cotton tail.

    19. Didn’t know bunnies could live in gingerbread houses.

    I’m sure this is used for decoration. But the roof is lined with jelly beans. And you can see a bunny at the window.

    20. Might want to serve these bunny cupcakes with an ice cream cone.

    Well, they’re not as adorable as the ones I showed last year. But you have to like how one cone opening is used for the teeth.

    21. Grace your appetizer platter with a bunny cheese dip snack tray.

    This one even has carrot ears. Not to mention it has jelly bean eyes and buttons.

    22. Care for some peep smores?

    Yes, I know peeps are inedible marshmallows covered in sugar meant to resemble chicks and bunnies. But if it’s Easter, how else will you make a smore?

    23. There’s something sheepish about these cupcakes.

    They even have chocolate horns like a ram. And yes, both have an adorable smile on their faces.

    24. Any girl would love to have a bouquet of daisies.

    Well, a bouquet of daisy cookies that is. Doesn’t hurt if any have ladybugs on them.

    25. Nobody could resist this fuzzy wuzzy bunny cake.

    This one has coconut over it, including its ears and rosy cheeks. And it’s all topped with a purple bow.

    26. You’ll hop for these Rice Krispie bunnies.

    Each one has a cute little face and a bow on their ears. Sure you can’t eat the bow but these are cute nonetheless.

    27. This bunny cake is content among the jelly beans.

    Yes, it’s another bunny cake. But this one has paper ears. Kind of disappointing.

    28. Perhaps you might fancy a bento lunch among the flowers.

    Well, the flowers are purple and are mostly of rice. But they’re quite pretty.

    29. Hope you can have all your egg cookies on one cake.

    All of the Easter egg cookies are on a stick and in one color. And they’re all on top of a basket cake.

    30. Grace your dessert platter with these Easter bites.

    On top they either have colored eggs or a daffodil. And yes, they’re all in lavender as well as professionally made.

    31. Suppose these Easter brownie bites might suit your taste buds.

    Each one has an egg on top with green icing. Feel free to take one and pop into your mouth.

    32. Apparently, these bunnies can scale a giant carrot.

    Actually it’s a cake. Nor sure if it’s carrot cake. But it certainly has a carrot top.

    33. Enchant your guests with these Oreo stick bunnies.

    All the bunnies even have a basket of eggs. So adorable you want to eat these up.

    34. Would you like an egg or bunny sandwich?

    Actually, they’re both cucumber. So it’s the same either way.

    35. Spring into Easter with this flower basket cake.

    Each tier has an arrangement of purple, yellow, and white flowers. And they’re of the flowers you’ll normally see early in the spring.

    36. Instead of a chocolate bunny, how about one in Rice Krispies?

    Sure it’s a lot crunchier than the candy counterpart. Not sure if it’s hollow or filled with cream though.

    37. You’d be chicken to avoid this wrap.

    Not sure what this exactly supposed to be. But it’s nonetheless adorable to see.

    38. Care for some Easter egg cake pops in your garden?

    Each of these is covered in sprinkles or sugar. And they all fit in a planter of grass quite nicely.

    39. Take a bite out of these basket cookie cups.

    Each of these has candy eggs and icing grass. But they sure look quite tasty on any dessert platter.

    40. With spring, it’s best your Easter platter has these floral cupcakes.

    Each of these has pastel icing as well as flowers on it. I don’t think you can eat the flowers but they’re sure pretty.

    41. Wonder what’s in these Easter eggs.

    Okay, they’re cookies with chocolate eggs inside. And each one has a top covered in icing and a pretty design.

    42. Top your basket cake with a chocolate bunny.

    After all, what’s Easter without one of these trademark goodies. And atop a pink basket cake with eggs.

    43. A bread bunny makes a great bowl for spinach and artichoke dip.

    Funny, how the ears are baguettes. Love the cute little face. So sweet.

    44. Speaking of bunnies, can I interest you in a hopping snack tray?

    Well, it’s not an exact likeness of a bunny. But it’s made out of cheese, crackers, and pepperoni.

    45. Bask in the sugary goodness of these peeps cupcakes.

    Just remove the peep before you eat. Because peeps aren’t fit for human consumption.

    46. Nobody could resist this bento bunny.

Oh, look it’s holding a little carrot. So adorable you just want to eat it up.

47. All the peeps seem to feel at home in this patch.

Well, it’s a peep patch cake. Filled with those inedible bunny marshmallows along with icing carrots.

48. Each peep bunny has its own pudding cup.

It’s a variation on dirt pudding. However, in this case, take out the bunny and eat the dirt.

49. Perhaps you might want an Easter basket on top of a cake.

Yes, this may be professionally made. But you have to like the flowers and bunnies on it. So sweet.

50. Hope these butterfly cookies make you soar into the sky.

Each of these is wonderfully painted and decorated. Love these.

51. There’s something ducky in this stew.

Okay, it’s a little duckie floating on the soup. Don’t you want to hold it?

52. Hope you’ll be hopping like a bunny in a bucket full of carrots.

You can guess this cake is professionally made. But the bunny seems oh so happy in it.

53. Everyone would just love these cupcake flowers.

Consist of pink, orange, purple, and blue. Yet each is a picture. So lovely.

54. Any little bunny would crave for this Easter basket bento lunch.

It’s made out of a pita with 2 cheesy eggs. It’s an cheesy egg Easter basket sandwich.

55. The chicks call this Easter gingerbread house a home.

It’s richly decorated with 2 chicks at the door. Wouldn’t mind having this on a dessert platter.

56. Any bunny would be hopping mad for this bento lunch.

One depicts a child dressed as a bunny. Another depicts a carrot patch.

57. Hope you enjoy an egg salad Easter bunny.

Makes you awe by what some people can do with a few hardboiled eggs. While the eggs here are olives. Or are those grapes?

58. With these butterfly cookies, you can certainly spread your wings.

Each butterfly comes in a variety of shapes and sizes. All are in blue, pink, and green.

59. You’ll be chirping for these chick cupcakes.

These seem like they can come straight out of Foodarama. Still, so adorable.

60. Can I interest you in a fancy sheep?

Well, it’s a small sheep cake with chocolate icing. But you can’t resist that face of innocence.

61. For an Easter dinner on the grill, want a few bunnies on your hotdog?

Well, it’s a bento lunch. But the cheesy bunnies give it a nice Easter touch.

62. Wake up Easter morning to the smell of a sticky bun bun.

This little guy is covered with icing and is under a branch. So cute.

63. Serve your guests with some bunny bread.

Unlike the other bunny breads I’ve shown, these are decorated. Got to love the buttons and ears.

64. For healthy options, try this Easter egg fruit pizza.

This one is decked with strawberries, raspberries, black berries, and blueberries. It’s an Easter berry extravaganza.

65. For a fancy Easter dinner, may I suggest this peep cake for dessert?

These have peep chicks on top of flowers. Remove before eating since peeps are disgusting.

66. This cupcake contains an orange surprise.

So much that it gives new meaning to the word carrot cake. Kind of clever if you think about it.

67. You’ll find this bunny cake berry appealing.

Because it’s decorated with berries. But most prolifically, you’ll find strawberries on the ears.

68. When you crack open a chocolate egg, who knows what you’ll find.

Well, plenty of smaller eggs and flowers inside. But no chicks, surprisingly.

69. May your Easter gathering be right as rain with these cookies.

Indeed, these are professionally made. But they include chicks, butterflies, and flowers galore.

70. Maybe you might prefer your veggies in a patch of hummus.

Yes, this is supposed to be a garden patch. But it’ll make a perfect Easter appetizer.

71. On Easter, it helps if you keep your eggs in one basket.

I showed a similar Easter cake a couple years ago. But it had a different handle. Still, the eggs are pretty.

72. On these cookies you’ll find plenty of flowers.

Well, these are certainly fancy. Include several eggs and a bunny. So pretty.

73. On Easter, please don’t forget your sheep sticks.

These are pretzel sticks covered in marshmallows. And yes, they’re so cute as well as perfect for little lambs.

74. For a more sacred bent, you might want to go with these empty tomb donut treats.

For you can’t have Easter without a holy treat. Especially one without including a donut with an actual hole.

75. It’ll always spring with this flowery bento lunch.

You can see the flowers everywhere on this. But the purple one really stands out.

76. For a simple Easter treat, may I recommend bunny paw cookies?

Well, these don’t seem to take much effort. Just use icing on the cookies to make them resemble rabbit footprints.

77. This gingerbread bunny house comes with its own patch.

These have bunnies outside this lovey home. Love the flowers and carrots.

78. Perhaps a birdhouse on a stick might interest you.

These seem quite creative. Just put a peep on a graham cracker with chocolate shingles.

79. This Easter breakfast is perfect for anyone at the crack of dawn.

Contains an eggy chick in a pancake egg. And yes, it’ll melt your heart.

80. Grace your Easter with this stained glass cross cake.

Hey, it’s a Christian holiday. So I might as well include a cross somewhere.

A Slew of Indictments in Russiagate

On Friday, February 16, 2018, Special Counsel Robert Mueller filed an indictment formally accusing 13 Russian nationals and 3 companies of interfering in the 2016 Election. According to a 37-page document he released, Russian operatives working for the St. Petersburg-based Internet Research Agency used several social media accounts on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram. Some accounts included ones like “Woke Blacks” and “Blacktivists” to urge Americans to either vote for third party candidates or sit out of the election entirely. This indictment illustrates the lengths a Russian troll farm went to inflame racial tensions through operating several social accounts intended to discourage African Americans from voting in the election. In accounts targeting Trump supporters, operatives reputedly stoked voter fraud fears with already debunked claims in the lead-up to the presidential election. Such claims included an allegation that ineligible votes helped Democratic candidate Hillary Clinton in the Florida primary and that she stole the Iowa Caucus. As Vox’s Jennifer Williams explains, these indictments serves as the “federal government’s most detailed public description of just how far some Russians were willing to go to help Trump win the presidency — and of the kinds of tactics they could use to meddle in this fall’s midterm elections as well.”

The indictment also explicitly states that the Russians were posing as Americans while communicating with “unwitting” Trump campaign members. Thus, so far, we can’t determine that anyone in the Trump campaign knowingly colluded with the Russians indicted. Nor can we say that the Russian government or Vladimir Putin directed, funded, or carried out this operation. Nor does it say the interference had any effect on the 2016 Election. In a way, the of evidence pertaining to Russian collusion bolsters core arguments Donald Trump and his cronies have made for months denying any Russian collusion or meddling during 2016.

Nevertheless, the indictment doesn’t necessarily clear Donald Trump from any Russian shenanigans whatsoever. For it outlines a vast conspiracy by Russian operatives to help Trump win the election, involving thousands of fake social media accounts and numerous staged pro-Trump rallies in multiple states across the country. In fact, the document’s sheer magnitude and acute attention to detail of the 13 Russians and 3 companies indicted shows just how much investigative muscle the Mueller probe really has. So if there’s anything to find on Trump and his associates, Mueller can do it.

Unfortunately, none of the 13 Russians and 3 companies will probably never see an American courtroom. But the indictment will stand so far as the federal government’s most detailed public description of just how far some Russians were willing to go to help Donald Trump win the presidency. In addition, it shows the kinds of tactics they could use to meddle in this fall’s midterm elections as well. Robert Mueller’s 13 Russian indictments makes it difficult to deny Russian involvement in our election even if Donald Trump and his allies will still deny collusion. To be found guilty of collusion or conspiracy to interfere in our elections requires “knowledge” and “intent.” So the term “unwittingly” lets Trump and his cronies off the hook for now. However, the indictment makes it much more difficult for Trump to fire Mueller or Deputy Attorney General Rod Rosenstein without risking another nail in any “obstruction of justice” charge. Besides, the indictment pretty much shows that these Russians wanted to get Trump elected from the very start as well as worked hard to get him elected. And it indicates that people close to Trump might’ve assisted in the process. Given the polarized political environment, Mueller has good reasons to avoid contentious allegations now. Yet, that didn’t prevent him from unsealing a guilty plea by a “witting” American co-conspirator on the same day. So there’s more behind this Russian indictment than an innocent mistake.

To complicate matters further, on Monday, February 19, 2018, Robert Mueller released an indictment targeting Alex van der Zwaan, a Dutch attorney based in London, for lying to the FBI. van der Zwaan’s connection to the Russian case runs through former deputy Trump campaign chair Rick Gates who Mueller indicted in October on charges of money laundering and illegal lobbying. Though you wouldn’t know much about that since his boss Paul Manafort was indicted on the same thing. Despite that the connection mainly deals with an internal Ukranian political dispute from more than a decade ago, it nonetheless state some interesting things about the Russian investigation.

In the early 2010s, van der Zwaan worked in the London office of the corporate law firm Skadden Arps, while his worked focused on the former Soviet Union. At the same time, Manafort and Gates were working for Ukranian President Viktor Yanukovych, a Kremlin-backed leader with dubious democratic credentials. He was in a power struggle with another prominent Ukranian politician, which he decided to solve by jailing her in the fall of 2011. Manafort and Gates’s job was to run cover for this clearly undemocratic prosecution. So they retained a team from Skadden Arps which included van der Zwaan to create a “report” conveniently concluding that there was no political motive for locking her up (except there was). Unsurprisingly, this was a huge deal in Ukraine but obscure everywhere else. Manafort and Gates continued to work for Yanukovych until the spring of 2016. van der Zwaan moved on to other things like marrying Ukranian-Russian billionaire’s daughter last summer.

But the van der Zwaan honeymoon wouldn’t be a happy one thanks to Bob Mueller’s probe. While looking into Manafort and Gates’s Kremlin ties, Mueller’s team started investigating the Skadden Arps report. As the indictment recalls, FBI agents personally questioned the Dutch attorney in November 2017 about his communications with Gates and an unidentified Person A. van der Zwaan told them that he last interacted with Gates in August 2016 via an “innocuous text message” and that he hadn’t spoken to Person A since 2014. As the indictment indicates, this is a lie for van der Zwaan was secretly communicating with Gates and Person A on the Skadden report. Because, the indictment reveals that, “In or about September 2016, he spoke with both Gates and Person A regarding the Report, and surreptitiously recorded the call.” Also, it alleges that van der Zwaan deleted an e-mail between himself and Person A sent around the same time as those conversations. Though he told the FBI that he “did not know” where the email was.
So what does this have to do with the Trump campaign? Well, in August 2016, Paul Manafort resigned as Donald Trump’s campaign manager. Mostly because of his ties to Yanukovych, particularly on an alleged off-the-books payment. Yet, Gates hung on the Trump team. This was weeks before the conversation between Gates, Person A, and van der Zwaan. If Gates and the Dutch attorney were discussing the Skadden Arps report in September 2016, and van der Zwaan felt the need to lie to the FBI about it, it suggests that there may have been something criminal about the report’s production. Or at least something whose release would be politically damaging. At any rate, it helped Mueller build a case strong enough that Gates struck a plea deal with him and would testify against Manafort. As Manafort’s longtime assistant, Gates may well have damaging info on his former boss, who’s one of the most pivotal players in the whole Trump-Russia scandal. It’s likely that van der Zwaan might be the first domino in a chain of events that could lead to a major breakthrough like a Manafort conviction or plea deal. But for now we don’t know where the Manafort case will play out. But getting van der Zwaan to get Gates to get Manafort. From there, Mueller might get vital information on Trump’s real Russian ties.

Still, keep in mind that Paul Manafort left his cushy job as the Kremlin’s favorite expat political consultant in Ukraine to run Donald Trump’s campaign. Soon after, Moscow-backed hackers transmitted thousands of stolen Democratic Party emails to Wikileaks, whose release was artfully timed to make trouble for Trump’s Democratic opponents. These became the basis of Trump campaign rhetoric in the months before Election Day in 2016. Some emerging conventional wisdom in Washington remains that there’s little to believe Mueller’s ongoing probe will prove much of interest. But to brush off any notion of high-level cooperation between Trumpworld and the Russians needs a much greater suspension of disbelief than assuming Trump collusion with Russia. You have to dismiss that no one from Moscow thought to consult with Manafort about how to help a pro-Russia win an election in the United States. Despite that Manafort received millions of dollars for his expertise to help pro-Russia candidates win elections in Ukraine. You have to think Donald Trump Jr. didn’t discuss collaborating with Russians on obtaining and disseminating anti-Hillary Clinton dirt. Except that Trump Jr. was both in touch with Wikileaks and openly enthusiastic about the idea and met with Russians on this very topic. You’d have to think that Trump’s specific and public call for Putin to hack Clinton’s emails was completely random. Despite that Trump didn’t deliver it that way. Trump-Russia skeptics might assume a series of bizarre coincidences complete with a massive cover-up for no particular reason. Yet, let’s state the obvious. Donald Trump has gone to extraordinary lengths during his time in office trying to stymie or discredit rigorous investigation into the Russia matter. Why? The most likely explanation is that he’s guilty of serious Russian-related wrongdoing. Sure many might think he’s a moron or he’s guilty of some other serious shenanigans that he fears the investigation will uncover. But it’s most likely that things are exactly as they seem is that Trump’s acting guilty because he’s guilty.

The political media in the United States is far too willing to paint a picture of Donald Trump as an idiot since his knowledge of government is severely lacking to pass an 8th grade civics test, let alone lead the country. However, everything in Trump’s record suggests a cunning, ruthless, and, in many ways insightful man. The means he used to get himself out of bankruptcy and make his big Atlantic City comeback were downright dishonest and shady but also quite clever. How he reinvented himself as an asset-brand licensor was incredibly successful, as was his career as a reality TV host. For years, he’s used lawyer Michael Cohen and a relationship with a major tabloid conglomerate to keep his affairs hushed up and manipulate the public’s perception of him. Finally, he entered the 2016 GOP primary with little fundraising, no political experience, and minimal organization but wiped the floor with everyone. Though not an evil genius or criminal mastermind by any stretch, when Trump keeps doing something, it’s probably for a reason. Still, he has more in common with the likes of Count Olaf or Scar than Forrest Gump. Scar may know how to manipulate the hyenas into carrying out his plot to take over the pride lands. But once he’s king at Pride Rock, his mismanagement causes everything to go to hell. Count Olaf may never fool the Baudelaire children, but he can successfully deceive almost every adult in their lives and evade justice so he could torment the kids another day. Trump may not know how to govern, but he certainly knows how to dupe, I mean convince people into voting for him.

It is more likely than not that some Trump cronies coordinated with some elements of political strategy with the Russian pro-Trump information operation with Trump’s tacit or explicit approval. In exchange, they signaled openness to Russia-friendly policy changes with Russia. The reasons are the following:

  • Many of the Russian government’s political interventions are clumsy and inept. But the 2016 Wikileaks email drops were well-executed and well-timed to step on 2 major stories like the Democratic National Convention and the Access Hollywood tape. Maybe the Russians got lucky. Or that expert American operatives helped them, which is far more plausible.
  • Paul Manafort’s expertise is in American and foreign electioneering. He helped Ronald Reagan and George H.W. Bush win presidential elections. After that, he moved into lobbying and took his political skills abroad. He spent a decade giving political advice to a Russian proxy party in Ukraine. So it’s not like the Russians would have no idea who to ask, or that no one on the Trump team was comfortable with the idea of working with Russia.
  • Due to Donald Trump Jr.’s infamous, “if it’s what you say I love it” email, Trump’s own son and son-in-law were eager to collaborate with the Russian government in the 2016 election.
  • During the transition, Trump’s National Security Adviser Michael Flynn was very eager to conduct talks with Moscow about warming relations. Jared Kushner also tried to create some kind of secure backchannel line of communication to Moscow that would be impenetrable to American intelligence.
  • Donald Trump’s firing of FBI Director James Comey was exceptionally risky. After that backfired, he took repeated stabs leaning on Attorney General Jeff Sessions and/or Deputy Attorney General Rod Rosenstein to resign, which would give him direct control over Mueller. For God’s sake, Trump appeared on NBC News explaining how he improperly used his powers to remove the FBI director in order to shield his cronies from criminal scrutiny.
  • Donald Trump’s allies on the House Intelligence Committee and the Senate Judiciary Committee have tried to help him with various attacks on the FBI, the Justice Department, and the whole idea of an inquiry rather than by constructing some plausible alternative narrative explaining all the weird shit referenced above. Remember Devin Nunes had to recuse himself for being too chummy with the Trump White House? Or how Dianne Feinstein released testimony despite Republican senators’ objections?
  • Donald Trump wanted to fire Robert Mueller as early as last summer.

Despite Trumpworld’s reputation for leaks that’s led to amazing pieces of journalism, Donald Trump is very good at keeping secrets. We’ve never found out what’s in the guy’s tax returns or how the decision was made that whatever is on them is more damning of Trump’s shady behavior. Actually despite calling himself a billionaire, we’re not even sure how much money Trump makes. We don’t know why he fired Flynn or whether he knew about staffer Rob Porter’s domestic abuse allegations. We don’t know why Trump handed some choice Israeli intelligence to the Russian foreign minister. Trump is the least transparent candidate of all time and is running one of the least transparent administrations on record. Hell, there’s plenty of dissembling and fabrication about whether Trump is golfing on any giving weekend. One result of unprecedented secrecy is an unprecedented volume of disclosures. But even that doesn’t mean we have an unprecedented level of insight into what’s going one with Trump or his operation. Especially since congressional Republicans’ totally abdicated Congress’s normal oversight functions, Mueller’s inquiry is essentially our only lens into some very murky terrain.

But perhaps this will prove wrong and the Mueller investigation will uncover nothing noteworthy save crimes committed by Flynn along with Manafort and Gates, and a handful of lesser players while exposing Donald Trump and his entire senior staff as habitual liars of criminal and national security importance. Oh wait, Mueller’s already accomplished that but he’s far from finished. Nonetheless, whether or not Trump explicitly or tacitly agreed, he entered office with a pro-Russia foreign policy agenda. If not, then he wouldn’t have made Flynn his National Security Adviser or Rex Tillerson his Secretary of State. Only the investigation appears to have thwarted this, pushing Trump to maintain broad continuity with prior American foreign policy. Still, the mere suspicion of illicit collaboration between the Trump campaign’s highest-ranking members and the Russian pro-Trump information operation is well-founded. The ongoing investigation has steadily revealed considerable evidence. There’s no reason for anyone to preemptively exonerate Trump, when suspicion’s been validated at every turn.

Top of the Morning with These Lucky Saint Patrick’s Day Craft Projects (Third Edition)

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Now it’s on to the crafts. Since Saint Patrick’s Day isn’t as big a holiday like Easter. But that doesn’t keep stores from selling green decorations as soon as Valentine’s Day is over. Because there are plenty of people known to go all out on March 17. While green is a predominant color, you also have pots of gold coins, rainbows, shamrocks, and leprechauns. And while it’s typically a holiday associated with parades and heavy drinking, there are plenty of stuff for families to do with the kids. Like do little acts of mischief in the house and pretend it was the work of leprechauns crashing your place. I’m sure your little kids would love it like my sister did when she was 3. Nonetheless, here is another assortment of St. Patrick’s Day crafts for your reading pleasure. Enjoy.

  1. You’ll be lucky to have this flashy wreath at your front door.

This one is replete with green shiny vines and gold ribbon. Like the green bow.

2. Perhaps a shamrock bouquet on your table.

Well, at least the shamrock is prominently featured here. Like the gold beads and decomesh.

3. This green tulle wreath has a Irish touch.

Has a shamrock hanging and gold coins. Too bad the coins are plastic as expected.

4. For good luck, grace your door with this wooden shamrock.

Well, it’s a wooden shamrock with some smaller green shamrocks on the side. Also, it even says, “Lucky.”

5. You’d always be top of the morning with this green ribbon wreath.

This one has decomesh ribbons and a shiny shamrock in the middle. Perfect for any St. Paddy’s Day door.

6. A shamrock bouquet always needs a white rose.

And you can use these on tables if you want to. Though make sure they’re fake if you plan to take your St. Paddy’s party outdoors.

7. Curl up on your couch with this Saint Patrick’s Day pillow.

This one uses a 4 leaf clover print. Nevertheless, I’m sure you can find it on Etsy.

8. A St. Patrick’s Day lantern should have yellow flowers.

Okay, it has white flowers, too. Also includes clover and a bow from a shamrock ribbon.

9. Doesn’t hurt to have a shamrock in green zigzags.

It’s touched with a green polka dot ribbon. Great for any door for St. Paddy’s Day.

10. 2 shamrocks is luckier than one.

Well, one is smaller than the other and in a lighter color. But both are bordered with gold and have shiny glitter.

11. Got green baubles? Make a wreath out of them.

This one also contains shiny shamrock vines, small shamrocks, and a shamrock ribbon tied in a bow. Got to love this one.

12. A rainbow rag wreath always needs a pot of gold.

Sure most of it is in felt ties. But you have to admire the creativity on this. So pretty.

13. Nobody can resist this St. Paddy’s Day owl.

It’s even in a green shamrock pattern. And yes, it’s a hoot.

14. How about a green wreath with flowers?

The flowers are made out of tissue paper. And the wreath is atop a white frame with a light green ribbon.

15. Anyone would be lucky to have this pot of gold pot.

Has a gold glitter top and shamrock. And you can put candy in it as you please.

16. Welcome your guests with this leprechaun hat display.

Well, this one has hat over a shamrock in a pot. Love to have it outside my door.

17. A shamrock stands out on a wooden panel.

Well, it’s certainly a nice 4-leaf clover on a panel. And it’s held by sturdy string.

18. A St. Patrick’s Day wreath can never have enough shamrocks.

You have shamrocks on the decomesh as well as on the ribbon. Still, you have to love the bow.

19. How about you punch a few shamrocks out of this hat?

Yet, it’s nonetheless green and worthy to hang on a wall. Like the striped bow, too.

20. You’ll have plenty luck from the Irish with this shamrock.

Though considering Ireland’s history, I’m not sure if you want the luck of the Irish. Because they spent a considerable time under British rule. And went through a famine in the 1840s.

21. Care for a burlap wreath of shamrocks?

This one has a bow on the top and shiny shamrocks on all sides. Quite lovely on any door.

22. A St. Patrick’s Day candle can bring you some luck.

This a mostly decomesh decoration. Includes shamrocks and a leprechaun hat.

23. With this wreath you’ll receive an Irish blessing.

Well, St. Patrick’s Day is a religious holiday in Ireland. So it’s only natural to include a craft with a cross.

24. Any little leprechaun would love to have this crocheted hat.

Well, it’s a rather small green bowler. But the golden is quite charming.

25. You can’t go wrong with this St. Paddy’s Day display on your table.

This one has 3 metal tiers with shamrock lights, leprechauns, and a pot of chocolate toffees. Got to love the coins surrounding it.

26. Perhaps a simple yarn wreath with shamrocks will do.

It’s mostly green with some gold on one side. Still, you got to admire the shamrocks.

27. If you like flowers, you might want a green hydrangea wreath.

Well, they’re white and in shades of green. And it’s topped with a green ribbon.

28. Hang this leprechaun hat on your lucky wall.

It’s mostly made of felt with shamrocks. Some of these are held by ribbons and buttons.

29. Shamrocks can come in an array of patterns.

Two of these shamrocks are polka dots. One is in plaid. And they’re all different sizes.

30. Perhaps a green shamrock wreath would suit your fancy.

This one is made from burlap. The leaves are made from wire hangers. Love it.

31. For a simple decoration, try some baubles in a glass vase.

Well, it’s quite interesting. And the ornaments are quite green with gold tops.

32. You’ll have plenty of luck in this basket.

Helps that it’s a green basket filled with shamrocks. Though Irish luck isn’t what it’s cracked up to be.

33. Wooden shamrocks should come with a few ribbons.

All of these are green with different patterns. Perfect to set on any table.

34. There’s no greener tree than one for St. Patrick’s Day.

Includes shamrocks, leprechauns, pots of gold, and horseshoes. Perfect for a festive party on March 17.

35.  If you’re into St. Patrick’s Day, you must have an Irish heart.

Lo and behold, I find a heart with a shamrock on top. Love the green stripes.

36. If you love leprechauns, then these flower pot hats are for you.

These seem like something kids would do. But each has a shamrock and glitter gold buckle.

37. Wear your Irish pride with this shamrock pendant.

This one is in a crocheted pattern. While delicate, it goes well on a gold chain.

38. For extra luck, how about a shamrock with horseshoes?

And it’s on a wooden panel. Still, you have to admire the creativity on this one.

39. You’ll find so many shamrocks on this pillow.

The shamrock is in the center with a button. And even the fabric has shamrocks as well.

40. Instead of a wreath, you might want a green square frame.

This one has a couple of fans in the corner. And it contains some shamrocks with an Irish touch.

41. Light up your St. Paddy’s Day with this lantern.

Okay, maybe not since it has a candle inside. This one has ribbons and flowers on top.

42. Show your Irish pride with this St. Patrick’s Day wreath.

This one depicts a painting of shamrocks, leprechaun wreath, and the Irish flag. And all surrounded by decomesh and burlap.

43. Anyone could adore this wooden shamrock on a panel.

This is painted and held by a green ribbon. Great for any wall for Saint Patrick’s Day.

44. Greet visitors with Irish hospitality with this striped wreath.

This is a yarn wreath with some green shamrock flowers. Got to love this.

45. Perhaps you might endear yourself to this green daisy tree.

Well, you have to love the flowers. Even has gold coins on the pot and a bow.

46. Enrich your St. Paddy’s Day with a wreath of flowers and shamrocks.

The flowers are on top. The shamrocks are on the bottom. And almost all are in green.

47. If you need luck, you might want to go with this simple white wreath.

Contains 3 crocheted shamrocks on the bottom. Yet, the middle spells out “luck.”

48. Hope this sign can give you a true Irish welcome.

Includes shamrocks, a leprechaun, a horseshoe, and a pot of gold. And they’re hanging on a green sign.

49. Wear your Irish pride with this shamrock ring.

The shamrock is 4 leaves and is made out of ribbons. And it has a stone for a sparkly touch.

50. Care for a pot of 4-leaf clovers?

The clovers are all fake and inside a white urn. But it seems simple enough to create.

51. You’ll find a wire tree coming from this leprechaun hat.

Contains stars and shamrocks. But it seems to have a certain whimsical charm.

52. Wear your Irish pride with this shamrock pendant.

Well, it’s attached to a chain and seems straight out of Etsy. But it’s nonetheless beautifully painted.

53. Sometimes a leprechaun hat is all a wreath needs.

The hat is made out of felt. The wreath is made from decomesh and is topped with a bow if shamrock ribbon.

54. If you love ribbons, then this is the St. Patrick’s Day wreath is for you.

The ribbons are in shades of green and a variety of patterns. And it has a shamrock hanging in the middle.

55. This planter will give you plenty of luck outside your door.

This one has “luck” in weird letters with green flowers. And it even lights up.

56. How about a shamrock in shamrock prints?

It’s 4 leaves and tied with a bow in plaid ribbons. Perfect for any mantle or table.

57. Hope you can have luck with this burlap display.

Has the word “luck” in burlap against a green wooden panel. But try to find the small shamrock in the “U.”

58. For a more naturalistic decor, go with this wreath.

Sure the foliage on this one is fake. Yet, it’s quite lovely in its own way.

59. You can’t help but be charmed by this rainbow wreath.

This one also contains a pot of gold, clouds, a leprechaun, and lots of shamrocks. Perfect for an Irish door.

60. Grace your St. Patrick’s Day table with this lovely table runner.

This one it has a shamrock pattern on several patches. Would be afraid to spill anything on this though.

61. Light up your table with these St. Patrick’s Day candles.

Both of these are filled with green beans and flowers with ribbons. Yet, they’re quite pretty if you ask me.

62. Nobody could resist this shamrock block.

Has a rather whimsical shamrock. Small but quite lovely.

63. Greet your guests on Saint Patrick’s Day with this green felt wreath.

Has a shiny shamrock near the bottom. And a green ribbon bow on top.

64. Use some St. Patrick’s Day strips for this table runner.

Sure it might have several patterns. But it’s quite whimsical to see.

65. Snuggle up on St. Paddy’s Day with this leprechaun hat pillow.

This one is made from a fuzzy green fabric with a buckle and ribbon. So cute.

66. Perhaps you might want a flower wreath with that green flower tree.

This one has ribbons on top and plastic coins dangling. The flowers are in green and white.

67. Care to put an urn of shamrocks next to your door?

Includes shamrocks and other decorations. And all on top of fake grass.

68. Irish eyes shine on this wreath.

Includes flowers of green, orange, and white. Like the Irish flag.

69. Rock the St. Patrick’s Day parade with this shiny leprechaun hat.

Includes green feathers and gold beads. Perfect for St. Patrick’s Day or Mardi Gras.

70. You’ll find a lot of green in this leprechaun hat.

Yes, it’s used as a pot where you can grow stuff. Yet, I got to love the shamrocks in a row.

71. Anyone would be lucky to have these St. Patrick’s Day tea lights.

Well, it has shamrock decorations on top. And a soft green base on the bottom.

72. A leprechaun always treasures his pot of gold.

Apparently, the leprechaun has dove into his pot of gold to care. Now his legs stick out.

73.  Always wish Irish blessings with flowers

Has a picture in the middle along with flowers surrounding it. Love the butterfly.

74. If you don’t like wreaths, perhaps a painted shamrock will suit you.

Yes, this one has swirls and a white border. And it’s topped with a light green bow.

75. This rainbow wreath can certainly wow guests on St. Paddy’s Day.

Has gold coins hanging by green ribbons. Love the colors on this one.

76. Go to the St. Patrick’s Day parade with this shamrock headband.

This seems quite simple with gold shamrocks against green. Wouldn’t mind wearing this on March 17.

77. You can’t have too many green flowers on a St. Patrick’s Day wreath.

For some reasons, I find green flowers strange. Love the shamrock on this.

78. Don’t leave for the parade without these lucky pins.

Each pin has a shamrock or two and a band of gold. Wouldn’t mind wearing any of these.

79. Throw your St. Patrick’s Day party with this shamrock wreath.

This one is wrapped in a frame with green cloth. There’s also a fan with a bow in the center.

80. Perhaps a leafy green wreath will make you feel lucky.

This one has green leaves and white berries. But the green and white bow really stands out here. Love it.

81. Show how lucky you are with this wooden sign.

This one “Luck” on green letters on white. Love the shamrock on the horseshoe “U.”

82. Odd to see leprechauns on the candles.

This is a planter with green flowers and candles inside. Has leprechauns on top and shamrocks on the side.

83. Best to say Saint Patrick’s Day with duct tape roses.

The flowers are in green and/or white. And they’re surrounded by green foliage like it’s a St. Paddy’s Day bouquet.

84. You’ll be tickled on St. Paddy’s Day with this feathered wreath.

Includes a green bowler hat with gold coins surrounding it and a pot. So stunning and festive.

85. How about a fancy shamrock for your wall?

This shamrock has 3 leaves in an intricate design. And there’s a 4 leaf shamrock in the center.

86. Anyone would be blessed with this ribbon wreath.

The ribbons are rather thick. Yet, this one also has a green cross with a shamrock.

87. These shamrock mason jars are golden.

These are spray-painted with gold and have shamrocks on them. Simple to make but make sure you use drop cloths first.

88. Use this post to welcome St. Paddy’s Day guests to your humble home.

This is made out of wood with a green shamrock on wires. Lovely.

89. For a more festive St. Patrick’s Day party, may I interest you in this leprechaun wreath?

Has a little leprechaun outfit with flowers, ribbons, and baubles. Available on Etsy.

90. With this St. Patrick’s Day bottle light, you’ll always feel lucky.

This one has shamrocks on the body, green ribbon on the nozzle, and decorations on top. Love this.

91. Show your Irish pride with these pillows.

One pillow says, “lucky.” Another says, “Irish.” Both are white with fringes and shamrocks.

92. Grace your front door on St. Paddy’s day with this shamrock ribbon wreath.

Because the ribbon on this wreath has shamrocks. Though there are some flowers on one of the sides.

93. Wish everyone a Happy Saint Patrick’s Day with this wooden hanging on your door.

Has shamrocks of different shades of green with each word. Kind of whimsical but unique.

94. Care for a green and gold St. Paddy’s Day bouquet?

You’ll find white, green, and gold flowers in this bucket. And it’s all tied with a bow in a shamrock bucket. So pretty.

95. Perhaps you might want to hang a wreath with a leprechaun hat.

This one has a leprechaun hat panel on the grapevine wreath. And it’s tied with a green bow to hang on one’s front door.

96. Impress your St. Patrick’s Day guests with this Emerald City table display.

This one is surely a work of ambition. Not sure what the Emerald City has to do with St. Patrick’s Day. Other than it being green of course.

97. Bring comfort to your Irish guests with this Irish blessing sign.

You probably know this saying. But it’s nonetheless on green with gold shamrocks.

98. You’ll always feel lucky with this rainbow and pot of gold.

This one is painted with the word “lucky” on the gold. So pretty and intricate.

99. Anyone would adore these St. Paddy’s Day trees.

These are white with green baubles and shamrocks. Perfect for any mini St. Paddy’s Day village.

100. You can’t have St. Patrick’s Day without these leprechaun bottles.

Each of these are green with a black belt and gold buckle. Each of these also has a shiny green hat with a shamrock.

Erin Go Bragh with These Lucky Treats on Saint Patrick’s Day (Fourth Edition)

StPatricksOnABudget

Now that Valentine’s Day is over, feel free to take down the red and pink hearts and put in the green shamrocks, rainbows, and the pots of gold. Though keep in mind that the Irish take the leprechauns as offensive Irish stereotypes. Nonetheless, while some may bask in the parades and pub crawls on March 17, others might find their own way to party. This especially goes in families with kids where getting sloshed in honor of one’s Irish heritage isn’t really an option. Then again, many people around the world celebrate Saint Patrick’s Day and they don’t have to be Irish. Or even Christian since Saint Patrick is a patron saint of Ireland. Anyway, for your reading pleasure, I present to you another assortment of St. Paddy’s Day goodies. Expect a lot of green food here, not limited to green eggs and ham. Because that’s Dr. Seuss.

  1. Care for some St. Paddy’s Day chocolates?

Also includes shamrocks with a button on center. I’m sure these are professionally made though.

2. Put some green in your St. Patrick’s Day Chex mix.

Well, they mostly seem to consist of green M&Ms. Also includes Cheeze-It’s and pretzels.

3. You’ll feel lucky with these pot of gold cookie sandwiches.

The colors are together that they resemble flowers. So they’d probably be good for Easter as well.

4. Speaking of rainbows, take a bite out of this wrap.

Contains a different food for each color. And the clouds are sour cream.

5. Dip your shamrock cookies in this rainbow concoction.

Well, this person’s using animal crackers, which is just as well. Just hope you don’t mix the colors together before serving.

6. This veggie leprechaun makes a healthy lunch.

Got to love the baby carrot beard. He also has a hat sandwich.

7. On a cold day in March, warm yourself to some green shamrock soup.

Comes with some shamrock toast. Still, I’m not sure what the green soup is comprised of right now. Perhaps it’s peas, potatoes, or some other veggies.

8. Can’t have Irish stew with some Celtic knot bread.

Not sure how you can get this shape in a bread. But I can understand how it would go well with Irish stew.

9. You’ll find a rainbow surprise in these cupcakes.

Though the rainbow seems a bit pastel colored. Yet, each is topped with a green shamrock.

10. Grace your St. Paddy’s Day dessert platter with this rainbow trifle.

Consists of layers of jello and whipped cream. And you’ll find gold chocolate coins on top.

11. On this Irish flag cheese pizza, add some pepper shamrocks.

I guess the green part has food dye. Because you don’t want to eat actual green cheese since it moldy.

12. These green lip pops seem like they’ve just kissed the Blarney Stone.

I’m sure these are professionally made. Yet, they’re nonetheless a creative dessert.

13. Any little leprechaun would crave for this green lunch.

Includes grapes and peas along with some pizzas. Any kid would be lucky to have this.

14. For a sweet snack, munch on these green pretzel sandwiches.

Each one of these has green cream. Also covered in icing and sprinkles.

15. Have your little leprechauns wake up this Saint Patrick’s Day with some rainbow pancakes.

Each color layer is topped with whipped cream. Top is covered in sprinkles. May be guaranteed to clog your arteries.

16. Nothing makes an Irish dinner like some shamrock meat pies.

Well, they do eat meat pies in Ireland and Great Britain. But these shamrocks aren’t clovers.

17. For a healthy lunch, you can’t go wrong with this veggie rainbow.

The rainbow consists of peppers. The clouds are made of cauliflower. The pot of gold is cheese dip.

18. You’ll be lucky to have some Lucky Charms popcorn as a St. Patrick’s Day snack.

Okay, they just have the Lucky Charms marshmallows. Yet, you have some chocolate popcorn pieces on top.

19. Anyone will feel lucky with these cups.

Each is a sugar cookie filled with white cream. Each has a shamrock on top.

20. Delight your guests to some rainbow fruit salad.

After all, fruits come in all different colors of the rainbow. Comes with cream to dip stuff in.

21. You’ll be green with envy for these cupcakes.

Each of these is covered in green icing with a shamrock on top. Perfect for any St. Patrick’s Day party.

22. Care for some rainbow fruit pie?

Each slice has different fruits for all 6 colors. And all top on white cream.

23. Hope you find a pot of gold with this rainbow cake.

Each slice has all the colors of the rainbow in swirls. Not sure how to make this to keep the colors separate.

24. Sprinkle some Lucky Charms into your St. Paddy’s Day ice cream.

I bet the flavor here is Irish cream, which is booze I think. Still, with the Lucky Charms marshmallows, it’s probably magically delicious.

25. Perhaps you might want to say “Happy Saint Patrick’s Day” on a cookie cake.

Well, this one has shamrocks, rainbow, and a pot of gold in icing. Though it certainly seems professionally made.

26. Whipped cream and Lucky Charms always go well on green pancakes.

Sure it seems like you can get this at IHOP. Yet, it’s said to be a magical part of a complete Saint Patrick’s Day breakfast.

27. It’s never Saint Patrick’s Day without some of these shamrock cracker snacks.

Each of these has corned beef and veggies. Doesn’t sound very appetizing to me when you add the corned beef.

28. Serve guests at your St. Paddy’s Day party with some rainbow pizza.

Sure there’s no blue in it since no blue veggie exist. But each is sliced in a triangle.

29. For a healthy treat, go with a fruit salad flag.

Consists of kiwis, banana slices, and peach slices. Definitely not fruits you’ll find in Ireland.

30. I suppose an egg and rainbow fruit salad makes a great St. Paddy’s Day breakfast.

Not sure what the bread is for. But each color is a different fruit. The egg is the sun.

31. For St. Patrick’s Day dessert, you might want some gold icing on your green cupcakes.

Each cupcake also has green sprinkles. But the icing seems quite orange, too.

32. You’ll be lucky to find these rainbow strawberries in a pot of gold.

Each strawberry is decorated in icing of each rainbow color. But no, they won’t lead you to a pot of gold.

33. How about some fried dough in a Celtic knot?

Not sure how you can pull of that intricate design. But if you can, go for it.

34. Perhaps some St. Patrick’s Day pizza may suit your fancy.

Well, it has plenty of peppers for orange, yellow, and green. Pepperoni goes for the red. Olives are blue and red onion is purple.

35. No St. Patrick’s party can be complete without some Irish cream dip.

I’m sure this is for cookies. Contains chocolate syrup and green sprinkles.

36. A St. Paddy’s Day Rice cereal cake always has to include some Lucky Charms.

And I see that the marshmallows are on top. Mostly since they’re the reason why kids love the cereal in the first place.

37.  Serve Saint Patrick’s Day dinner with some shamrock rolls.

Each roll is tied into a 3 leaf shamrock. Goes well with Irish stew.

38. These iced pretzels always make for a lucky St. Paddy’s Day treat.

Each of these is decorated in unique ways. Some have sprinkles while others have green drizzle.

39. You’ll be in for a lucky surprise with this rainbow cake.

Since it contains some gold chocolate balls inside. Hope you don’t spill out the contents.

40. How about a slice of shamrock pie for dessert?

Seems like a mint chocolate one to me. Even has a chocolate shamrock on a slice.

41. St. Paddy’s Day deviled eggs should always have some green to them.

Seems that the outside have of these has some intricate green design. Luckily it’s all food coloring.

42. No one could resist these rainbow jello cups.

Well, this one only consists of 5 colors since some of the layers are opaque. But make sure it doesn’t contain alcohol before your kids eat it.

43. Shamrock cupcakes are always golden.

Each of these has a green shamrock over gold icing. And they’re chocolate, too.

44. Any little leprechaun would adore these marshmallow hats.

Each of these is on a thin mint with a green marshmallow. Contains an icing buckle and fruit roll up rainbow shamrock.

45. You can’t celebrate Saint Patrick’s Day without some green velvet cupcakes.

Each of these is formed into as shamrock. And they’re all covered in white icing for a decorative touch.

46. It’s always top of the morning with green waffles.

Care to have it topped with chocolate chip mint? Part of this dessert Saint Paddy’s Day breakfast.

47. Though you might be more interested in a healthier breakfast.

Even includes a green omelet. Don’t worry, it’s just food coloring.

48. For a bit of luck, try some shamrock soda bread.

By the way, it has a green shamrock inside. Also, are those raisins? Disgusting.

49. How about some gold coins with your shamrock?

Yes, these are pancakes. Luckily, you won’t need to do anything to the gold coins.

50. As long as the M&Ms are green, you can make a shamrock.

Don’t forget to surround the cake with Kit Kat bars. Got to love that chocolatey goodness.

51. Any little leprechaun would love these rainbow pies.

Each of these comes with a pot of gold. too. Rainbow mostly consists of sprinkles.

52. You’ll taste the rainbow with these fruit tacos.

Each of the fruit represents a rainbow color. And they’re all in small wraps.

53. For dessert, can I interest you in some Irish flag trifle.

Each is in a layer of orange and green jello along with whipped cream. Great for any St. Paddy’s Day dessert platter.

54. You can’t do without some shamrock pizza at a St. Patrick’s Day party.

This one doesn’t have sauce. But it has some peppers as shamrocks.

55. Care for a green ham sandwich?

Yes, it looks disgusting. But at least it’s just the bread that’s green with food coloring.

56. You’ll always feel lucky with these shamrock cookies.

Well, the center cookie is a shamrock. But they’re all covered in green sugar just the same. Part of a gift set.

57. Make your Saint Patrick’s Day a lucky occasion with this magnificent cake.

This is a wedding cake. Yet, it certainly fits the occasion with the shamrocks.

58. A rainbow fruit salad always shines with marshmallow clouds.

Sure it’s not as vibrant as some of the other fruit salad rainbows. Yet, it nonetheless covers the plate.

59. When it’s chilly, feel free to warm yourself with some shamrock cheese and potato soup.

Well, it has some shamrock toast on it for luck. And it’s covered with horseradish for green.

60. Hope you can press your luck to enjoy this Saint Patrick’s Day fudge.

And yes, it’s green. But it’s covered with sprinkle shamrocks to drive the St. Paddy’s Day point.

61. At the end of the rainbow, you’ll find a pot of gold.

Oddly, these coins depict a portrait of John F. Kennedy. Not sure what that’s about.

62. Nothing makes Saint Patrick’s Day like shamrock noodles.

The leaves are made of tortellini in pesto. The stems are celery.

63. Make your guests feel lucky with these green hat cookies.

Sure they may be professionally made. But each one has a black belt with a gold buckle.

64. Shamrocks can come in all kinds of patterns.

Each of these is in green icing and different patterns. Some are plaid and some have dots.

65. Take a lucky bite out of these St. Patrick’s Day Rice Krispie treats.

Each of these has green icing on top with sprinkles. Still, like the shamrocks in the center.

66. Sometimes you might want to make a simple lunch.

The rainbow consists of fruits and veggies. The pot of gold is a sandwich with cheddar coins.

67. You’ll be lucky to find these pot of gold cookies.

The pots are in chocolate icing. And the rainbows are made of fruit roll ups.

68. There are plenty of layers with this rainbow cake.

This one has 5 layers and not in order. Topped with whipped cream and sprinkles.

69. Greet the top of the morning with these rainbow donuts.

Each of the rainbows is made of icing. And the icing only covers half of it.

70. Any leprechaun would cherish this bento lunch.

This one has a leprechaun sandwich and shamrock chips. I’m sure Irish child eyes are shining here.

71. Greet Saint Patrick’s Day with rainbow fruit salad and shamrock toasts.

This one has 2 toasts. And each fruit is a different color.

72. Grace your St. Paddy’s Day dessert platter with this pot of gold and rainbow cake.

This one is on top of a hat with a shamrocks on the rainbow. Love this.

73. For a lucky snack, try these 3 leaf clover pretzel bites.

Consists of green M&Ms on nutella with green icing for a stem. Great for parties.

74. You’ll have a lucky platter with this shamrock cookie cake.

It’s all smothered in green icing and sugar. And it’s piped in white. So pretty. Also covers a whole table.

75. There’s a lot of color to this rainbow trifle.

Each layer is made out of jello. Set it near a pot of gold. Or you could just use coins.

76. For your Saint Patrick’s Day dessert platter, try some of these rainbow palmiers.

Palmiers are a type of cookie. The rainbow inside is made out of sugar.

77. Perhaps a rainbow lollipop cake will suit your fancy.

You can tell by now that I prefer rainbows over leprechauns. Because rainbows are pretty. And I’m part Irish.

78. These rainbow cake squares come bite size.

Each of these has several layers in each color. And you can eat these small squares with a toothpick.

79. You can always put a shamrock on a mint brownie.

I don’t think you can eat the clover unless you’re a rabbit. Yet, it’s pure chocolatey mint goodness.

80. There’s a great many color in this rainbow pound cake.

Each slice has colors in stripes. And the top is covered icing and sprinkles.

Figure Skating Fashion Disasters On Ice

Figure Skating

This weeks marks the start of the 2018 Winter Olympic Games in Pyeong Chang, South Korea. I haven’t done much on these events mostly since I’ve written most of my Olympics posts back during the 2016 Summer Olympics in Rio de Janeiro, Brazil. And I mostly combined both the winter and summer stuff in each post, save for the Ancient Greek Olympic article. Mostly because the Ancient Greeks didn’t have a Winter Olympics since winter sports weren’t really their thing. I mean they lived in a warm Mediterranean climate where snow only existed on mountains for God’s sake. If there was anything close to a Winter Olympics in the ancient world, it would’ve most likely be in Scandinavia. Besides, there are a lot of stuff going on in February like Valentine’s Day, Mardi Gras, and Chinese New Year. Not to mention, the crazy shenanigans at the Trump administration.

Nonetheless, the Winter Olympics do stand out in one way for a blogger like me. And that’s in the realm of figure skating. It’s a sport where people do some high acrobatics and dances on ice skates that would send any normal person attempt these stunts to the emergency room. Even so, male figure skating remains beneath the acceptable confines of traditional masculinity in the US where we have Blades of Glory as well as male skaters portrayed a little light in the skates. Still, it’s a popular spectator event with a subjective judging system based on artistry, presentation, and interpretation. Not to mention, there is a lot of drama in the Olympic competitions. Thanks, to the film, I, Tonya, many of us will now remember Tonya Harding’s husband assaulting Nancy Kerrigan’s leg with a bat. But one key feature are the sparkly outfits the skaters wear on the ice. Some may go for the classic dress or pantsuit. Some may contain sparkles. Some may depict characters from a story or pop culture. And some may represent their culture. Sometimes these costumes can make the skater shimmer and look graceful. But occasionally, you see plenty of skaters who look totally ridiculous. In this post, I show you some of the craziest skating fashions to grace the ice (though not exclusively from the Winter Olympics). For your reading pleasure, I give you an assortment of figure skating fashion fails. Enjoy.

  1. A skater can wow the judges with a black and white clown onesie.

Well, at least he’s not wearing any clown makeup to scare the kids. Still, kind of pathetic.

2. I didn’t know you can do a figure skating routine from Magic Mike.

Then again, he might be there for the fanservice. Yet, I can’t complain about his six pack.

3. Sometimes a flannel shirt and coveralls is all you need.

Sorry, but this outfit belongs out in the woods or a country barn dance. Not on ice. Still, at least his outfit didn’t cost much.

4. Unfortunately, her Katniss Everdeen costume didn’t land her on fire.

Yeah, that fire dress kind of falls flat. Even with rhinestones. Fire may burn. But ice surely chills.

5. Man, this guy really seems going for the gold.

I don’t think that gold outfit will win the judges’ favors. The Donald Trump haircut doesn’t help matters either. I’m sure he’s skating to theme from Goldfinger.

6. Some skaters wear too little. Others wear too much.

Not sure how she can skate in that outfit. Seems like she could trip on it.

7. When it comes to honoring a culture, at least insult your own.

These were Russian skaters who did a homage to the indigenous people of Australia. I’m sure Aboriginies want to cut them down with a boomerang now.

8. Nothing impresses the judges like spandex and puffed sleeves.

Hey, it was the 1980s. Puffed sleeves were all the rage at the time. Even on the skating rink.

9. Just because your robe is short and sparkly enough to skate in doesn’t mean you should.

Actually, her outfit is supposed to resemble a short kimono. Since she’s from Japan. However, Japanese styles don’t usually translate well on the skating rink for good reason.

10. Tonya Harding must make her chest sparkle.

Yes, that Tonya Harding. And yes, this costume is quite revealing as well as barely covers her boobs.

11. I guess this routine is Marc Antony and Jenifer Lopez.

Basically a celebrity couple that’s no longer together anymore. And in the douchiest imitation imaginable.

12. She certainly looks sensational for an Atlantic City blackjack dealer.

Yeah, a flashy vest and tight pants doesn’t impress me. Seems more suited for a casino.

13. Some men think they can bedazzle in buckskin.

Sorry, but that frontiersman get up doesn’t work on the ice rink. He should probably go back to playing cowboys and Indians.

14. Nothing hurts the eyes like black and yellow plaid.

How he got that in one piece, I’ll never know. But utterly tacky? Absolutely.

15. Here Katarina Witt dressed in her skating program as Gertrude McFuzz.

By the way, she caused a lot of controversy with this outfit. That in 1988 the International Skating Union instilled the “Katarina Rule” which required female skaters to wear pants and skirts. It was enforced until 2004.

16. Tara Lipinski skates to “American Woman.”

Wearing an outfit I wouldn’t be caught dead wearing in school. And yes, the pants are unusually tight.

17. Apparently, this guy just had to show his muscles.

Seems like this guy’s not wearing much. Like he’s skating to a rendition of Zoolander.

18. When in doubt, wear bright colors.

He seems more suited for hosting a kids’ show. And yes, he really stands out in a crowd.

19. Johnny Weir must wear that feather top.

Well, Weir is always known for his outlandish costumes. This is no exception.

20. Some pair skaters always go to great lengths to match.

However, I don’t think this style holds up. Reminds me of something you’d see from the 1980s.

21. Her dress is watching me, isn’t it?

Had she worn a black dress to match her partner, she wouldn’t be on this post. Alas, she dressed in an outfit that resembles a spaced out cat.

22. A swan costume is a common ice skating motif.

However, she can always overdo it with feathers. And not just around her waist either.

23. Not sure if white skaters should go with an Afro-Brazilian routine.

Particularly since the guy has a plate on his chest. Still, this is kind of offensive. Couldn’t they just do samba routine in the traditional spandex?

24. Her red skating get up is draped with red beads.

I’m sure practicality wasn’t in mind with this costume. Hope she doesn’t slip and fall should a bead fell off. Then again, ice skates are quite sharp.

25. Apparently, she wanted to skate as her favorite Disney princess.

I’m guessing it’s Jasmine, judging from her outfit. Though her pants look slashed.

26. So is this supposed to be Xenia Warrior Princess meets He-Man?

Because it sure looks like it to me. Okay, he doesn’t exactly dress like He-Man, but the style looks similar.

27. I’m afraid she has a severe case of cello butt.

I think she’s supposed to skate to a Beethoven piece. But to so with a cello on her back is ridiculous.

28. Unfortunately, she couldn’t afford another skating outfit after her costume partially burned from an ironing mishap. So she cut out the burn spots.

Okay, maybe I made it out. But at least it explains the outfit better than whatever she can come up with.

29. Perhaps a zebra suit can show one’s wild side.

She even has stripes on her arms. And yes, she doesn’t look particularly flattering.

30. At times, you’d swear that pair skaters wear similar outfits.

However, the woman always has to wear shorts while the guy wears suspenders. Still, kind of remind me of restaurant workers for some reason.

31. Can’t afford a skating outfit? Make one with see through robe.

Well, at least it’s easy to put on. But it barely covers her butt.

32. Queen Elsa, meet your future husband.

For he seems to resemble an ice king to me. Just look at the sparkle spikes on his shoulders and wrists.

33. Every figure skater yearns to shine like a star.

However, this doesn’t mean a skater should have stars all over her outfit. Kind of tacky if you ask me.

34. If you’re a fan of Braveheart, then you’ll love him on ice.

Yes, he’s dressed like William Wallace. However, that doesn’t mean he should.

35. Unfortunately, he forgot to pack his skating costume and now is stuck with his underwear.

Well, at least he showed up. Still, I’d be embarrassed to skate in that if I were him.

36. Always spread your wings.

However, this doesn’t mean your costume should include them. Because that’s just cheesy.

37. When all else fails, a male can skate with a bare chest.

Apparently, the concept of “no shirt, no service” doesn’t apply in the men’s figure skating dress code. Still, heard those rinks can be quite cold.

38. Of course, some men can rock in a sweater vest.

I’m just kidding. Still, he kind of reminds me of one of the Jonas brothers. However, brown and orange doesn’t go together.

39. A man can stun in silver.

For some reason, he reminds me of some sleazy futuristic nightclub owner. Only thing missing are nubile alien dancers on each arm.

40. Speaking of Space age, these two really make the future seem closer than we think.

She is a showgirl at the planet Zendu. He’s a hotshot bowler at the Cosmic lanes. Met at some disco club on the moon.

41. A skating outfit is always better with flowers.

However, I’m not sure what to make about flowers on a green bikini bra and tutu. Seriously, why?

42. Someone’s skating outfit is totally ripped.

Well, it certainly seems like he ripped it. But it’s just sewn with different types of fabric.

43. Their skating routine drew inspiration from Alfred Hitchcock’s The Birds.

Well, at least their outfits match. But the wings don’t do them any favors.

44. Any skating pair can stand out in neon.

However, this doesn’t mean their outfits should have neon colors. Though they might look cool if they’re skating in the dark at a rave.

45. Sorry, but I don’t think The Pink Panther on ice is going to work.

This is especially the case when it’s a homage to the cartoon. Instead of the Peter Sellers movies.

46. How about a rendition of Weird Science?

It’s a movie from the 1980s. Still, seems like the guy is a perv in this routine.

47. Apparently, she got the raw deal in the Picasso routine.

I guess she has to have the painting on her back. Let’s hope it’s not body paint.

48. A neon pair is always chic on ice.

From Cosmopolitan: “Really? A neon circus raver tutu? At the Olympics? Points for a bold choice, but major deductions for execution.”

49. A skimpy yellow skating getup can always impress the judges.

It’s basically a two piece swimsuit with a bunch of crystals on nylon. Yes, I know what you’re thinking.

50. Introducing the boy on fire.

You’d almost mistake him for a Hunger Games contestant. Too bad Katniss prefers the Boy with the Bread. And no, the odds aren’t in his favor here.

51. Irina Slutskaya is all fireworks.

Well, look at her outfit which seems to have fireworks on it. She’s bursting with confidence.

52. When you have to go a skating competition at 10 and a Ren fair at 2.

I bet this is for a Romeo and Juliet routine. Too bad the color scheme doesn’t capture the romance.

53. They decided to paint their own outfit designs this year.

Too bad they decided to dress up as jesters. But at least they’re not wearing clown makeup.

54. Off the rink, they moonlight as musicians in a Ren fair punk band.

How else could I explain the crazy outfits? They even have their jackets laced.

55. Any female skater can shine like a Queen on the Nile.

Seeing the snake, she’s probably Cleopatra. And her outfit has enough rhinestones for her to pass as a cocktail waitress at The Egyptian.

56. This skating pair should stop miming around.

Hate to break it, but clowns aren’t exactly funny. In fact, they can be quite creepy, especially if they don’t say anything.

57. Just because you like skating to country music, doesn’t mean you should.

These two are from France, by the way. Because American skating pairs think a cowboy routine is stupid.

58.  If Willy Wonka designed skating outfits, they’d probably look like this.

And yes, they’re in bright colors over black. Like they live in a candy world of sweets and nightmares.

59. Sasha Cohen needs to spread her wings.

Whether she flies like a bird is another matter. But she certainly has a great interpretive dance routine.

60. Just because you love the 1980s, doesn’t mean you should skate to its music.

From Huffington Post: “Uzbekistan’s Misha Ge channels the ’80s with this razzle dazzle suit. In a bad way.”

61. “Thunderbolt and lightning, very, very frightening to me.”

From Huffington Post: “France’s Brian Joubert should be heating up the rink with his fiery lightning suit but instead it falls flat.” Shocker.

62. A neon pair can always stand out to the judges.

From Huffington Post: “Australia’s Gregory Merriman and Danielle O’Brien look rather silly in their neon patchwork outfits. How can we take them seriously when they look like clowns?”

63. Ladies and gentlemen, I give you Robin Thicke’s brother.

Still, a striped one piece get up can really make your eyes sore. By the way, the guy’s from Spain.

64. With the right jewels, a skating pair can always sparkle.

From Huffington Post: “Americans Meryl Davis and Charlie White make figure skating outfits look cheesy thanks to Meryl’s blinged out purple dress.”

65. A men’s jacket has to include puffy sleeves.

However, it kind of seems straight out of a Steampunk movie to me. Not sure how well that translates on ice.

66. For some people, an electrocution is an inspiration.

Well, that’s what I take from this. Since the outfit design is utterly shocking.

67. Some princesses dress in their finest dresses. Other princesses…not so much.

Well, he’s not dressed to badly. But the woman is clad in the most hideous princess dress imaginable. As if she’s like “I’m a princess. I can do whatever I want.”

68. Sometimes what was all the rage during the 1980s should stay in the 1980s.

From Skating Fugly: “The 80s called, and this outfit is so bad, they don’t even want it back. Burn it.”

69. Nothing suggests the future like skating in shiny blue jumpsuits.

Of course, their outfits are missing space helmets. Because they’d go great with the suits.

70. Some male skaters prefer to go with a casual look.

Though his outfit contains the usual rhinestones. Because even a casual wearing skater needs to sparkle.

71. A pair will always be a hit with velvet denim.

Yet, these two prove that a velvet look can look trashy. Got to love the 1980, though I’m not sure if it’s set at that time.

72. Any female skater can wow crowds in a fire skirt.

Too bad you wouldn’t see an actual girl on fire like Katniss Everdeen do a dance like this. Still, fire seems to be a common motif with skaters.

73. Best to spring into action on the ice with a pool noodle skirt.

How does this translate into a skating routine with a rugged gardener, I’ll never know. Yet, the skirt obviously seems ridiculous.

74. I suppose she’s skating to “Eye the Tiger.”

Well, a tiger that’s encrusted with rhinestones all over her outfit. Kind of seems more like a Vegas show than a skating routine.

75. So I guess this skating routine rips of Gladiator.

Even so, the guy’s costume seems like cheap outfit from Party City. The woman’s well, her outfit’s not Roman at all.

76. Leopard print is always a tacky fashion choice even on the ice.

And the fact some of the spots are blue doesn’t change anything. Definitely a ridiculous choice.

77. How about a rendition of a gritty Spaghetti western?

Okay, that seems more like an ice routine of Oklahoma! Even with the stains on his outfit.

78. A lovely skating dress can be decorated with simple craft store supplies.

From Skating Fugly: “I know rick rack trim is cheap and plentiful, but covering a plain white tulle skirt with some rick rack, tying a piece around your neck, and calling it a day is pretty lazy. Yeah, there’s a top, but it’s also uninspiring. And in case you’re wondering, yes he is wearing a red velvet/velour tuxedo thing WITH TAILS.”

79. In the future, men will be dancing to red velvet jumpsuits like this.

I know it’s completely ridiculous. But at least he makes the most of it.

80. A make skater should always be a gentleman.

From Skating Fugly: “Sergei dressed as a marching band leader with a penchant for 17th century, ruffled peach-colored cravats. What instrument should he be playing? I’m going with cymbals.”

81. Silver pinstripes always go with a shiny blue shirt.

If Elton John was a 1920s gangster, I honestly think he’d dress like this. Even the pinstripes on this are shiny.

82. Seems like this guy’s dressed up as the Dread Pirate McGlitter.

Ever heard of that guy? Of course, not. For a rhinestone laden outfit doesn’t inspire dread.

83. I don’t like the face on that woman’s dress.

From Skating Fugly: “I think Svetlana is channeling 80s Madonna with the cone boobs, lacy fingerless gloves and messy, poofy skirt. Vitali could be a survivor of the apocalypse, if the apocalypse left nothing behind except glitter belts, sparkly pants, and a shirt cobbled together with chest fringe and one lace-up arm.”

84. When in doubt, it helps if the pair is in wholesome attire.

From Skating Fugly: “‘Bye, everyone! Now that we’ve won medals, we’re off to sing in the church choir and attend the potluck luncheon. I could really go for some green bean casserole, Jello-mold fruit salad and chicken pot pies!'”

85. Behold, a Space Age Elvis Impersonator.

I’m sure he’ll be a hit on the space port cantina. Though it’s rumored that the real Elvis was kidnapped by aliens decades ago.

86. For God’s sake, let the poor firebird go!

However, the firebird doesn’t seem to have much on her. While the guy seems like he’s not hungry for chicken either.

87. “Behold, the vestiges of my inner sanctum of darkness.”

I think this is Johnny Weir. Let’s just say if he was straight, I’d ship with Lady Gaga.

88. Did those hands just make a face?

From Skating Fugly: “I believe the concept of this program was that they were a couple meeting at a masquerade, wearing several different masks. (His hands formed one mask for her to wear, her hands formed another, etc.)” Still, the hand stuff is kind of creepy.

89. Bet you’ve never seen a rhinestone skeleton before.

Yes, he’s dressed as a skeleton. And you better be lucky he didn’t use a skull cap.

90. Never thought these two would glide on the ice… from space.

Then again, skating requires a little thing called gravity. Still, doesn’t detract from the spaceness of these tight suits.

91. When you think you’re a colorful peacock, instead of a garish bird from Dr. Seuss.

Okay, that’s pretty hideous. Her makeup doesn’t enhance her look either. More like a scary clown than anything.

92. While he dresses in a classy suit, she’s in a dress that’s, well, unique.

I guess this was inspired by something off the Hunger Games. Or some Frank Gehry architecture. And I don’t mean either as a compliment.

93. You’ll surely be in for a shock with this pair.

Now that’s just plain tackiness there. Great for an electrical show. Ridiculous for a skating competition.

94. They said she skated like a beautiful swan. Though her outfit suggested otherwise.

Her outfit seems like a combination of a swan costume and dominatrix wear. Not a good mesh.

95. Didn’t know there was a dominatrix on the ice.

Would really like to see what kind of moves she’d do with a cat o’ nine tails. Might be quite interesting to see.

96. Hey, it’s Leelu from The Fifth Element.

Though to be fair, I’m not sure if I can see a skating homage to a Bruce Willis sci-fi flick. And the costume doesn’t really convince me.

97. When in doubt, skate in street clothes.

And he’s wearing a tie-dye shirt with pants. Not sure if it stuns, but at least he didn’t waste much money.

98. You know what’s missing here? Space helmets.

I mean if they’re dressed like that they might as well. Also, give them some jet packs so they can fly.

99. You’d almost mistake her for an ice skating Wonder Woman.

Then again, I kind of take that back. Or if Wonder Woman had poor fashion sense with pink velvet and jewels.

100. Say, shouldn’t this routine involve 4 people.

If you want to do a skating tribute to Sergeant Pepper, it shouldn’t just involve the Beatles who are still alive. Otherwise, it just looks ridiculous.