The Wonderful World of the Teddy Bear (Fourth Edition)

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Of course, I couldn’t do Valentine’s Day without including the iconic Teddy Bear. For decades this cuddly toy has been adored by children and adults alike. And you’d often find this little guy as a popular V-Day gift from sweethearts around the world. Since they have movable arms, you often see them dressed in all kinds of little costumes. Since they’re so irresistibly cute, you’d often find them dressed for all kinds of occasions and holiday. But once in awhile, you’ll see a teddy bear dressed as a pop culture icon or culture figure. So for your reading pleasure, I give you another assortment of adorable teddy bears. Enjoy.

  1. “One of you will beartray me..”
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DaVinci’s The Last Supper with bears. From the Jeju Island teddy bear museum.

2. Mama bear needs a new pair of shoes.

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This bear is supposed to frequent a casino. And it seems she’s got all hearts.

3. All bears on deck.

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This is from a teddy bear museum, possibly in the UK. Nonetheless, the wooden ship is amazing.

4. Erin has always been an Irish darling.

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She’s supposed to resemble an Irish river dancer for Saint Patrick’s Day. Love the shamrock head garland.

5. Seems like our bear archaeologists found something incredible.

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These bears have came to the tomb of Emperor Qin Shi Huangdi. Here they marvel over remains of some terra cotta soldiers.

6. Here they stand on the ruins of war.

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These are teddy bear soldiers near ruins in France during WWII. And yes, some hang out in a jeep.

7. The band played on….

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This is a teddy bear rendition of the sinking of the Titanic. Cue to the polar bears on the iceberg.

8. A flower dress is perfect for any spring occasion.

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She even has a lace handkerchief in her paws. Love her flowery hat.

9. Coco always has to be a fashionista.

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She wears a kimono to go with her red handbag and sunglasses. While her bag is from Big Brown Bear.

10. Perhaps you’ll appreciate this birthday bear.

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This one has a bikini clad bear coming out of the cake. Kind of amusing and adorable.

11. Bet you’ve never seen a bear in his boxer briefs.

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His waist band says it all. And he looks so adorable in that pose.

12. Graduation is always quite an accomplishment.

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This graduate is in white for the Class of 2015. So its job prospect might not be great.

13. On Halloween night the pumpkin fairy appears.

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It has orange wings and a jack-o’-lantern magic wand. Doesn’t look spooky. But is quite adorable.

14. Mary can always spare a put or two.

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She’s supposed to be a female golfer. Here she wears a skirt with her diamond polo.

15. David always knows how to make a goal.

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Since he’s got claws, he needs no cleats. But let’s hope they don’t rupture the ball.

16. Ryan will just shoot some hoops.

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He also knows how to dribble. So you might not want to play a round of one-on-one with him.

17. Brittany knows how to look chic in pink.

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She even wears a camo denim outfit and a pink leather jacket. So cute.

18. Anyone miss Bearack Obearma yet?

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Indeed, I sure do miss him and his presidency. Still, he comes with Obearma Care.

19. This your Captain Clawly Clawenberger speaking.

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This teddy bear’s supposed to be an airplane pilot. Will fly you to the moon and warm your heart.

20. Watch out for this grizzly pirate.

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He’s even got an eyepatch. But back away when he uses his sword.

21. Nancy Bear is on her way to the spa.

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She’s in her pink robe with a towel around her head. So she’s good to go.

22. Barry is all ready for the big game.

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He’s already got his shoulder pads on. Not sure why he’s not wearing a helmet.

23. Christmas is the time to shine in a Santa dress.

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She’s even wearing a Santa hat. So pretty and festive.

24. A bear should always look chic on the town.

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she wears a dress with an iconic Vuitton print. Or is it Gucci? Who cares?

25. Ethan is Army strong.

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He’s wearing a desert camo uniform. Wonder if he’s served in Afghanistan.

26. Father Christmas is the bearer of great tidings.

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He’s the British equivalent to Santa Claus. But check out that cane and kick ass cape.

27. A distinguished Pilgrim always has a goatee.

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He’s a Thanksgiving bear. Wait until he takes the land away from the Indians.

28. A Christmas angel wishes peace on earth.

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She even has red bird in an intricate design. Love her blue dress.

29. When there’s snow, bring snow shoes.

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He’s even all bundled up. Despite that bears usually sleep in during the winter.

30. Tape measure can also double as ribbon.

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Though she also uses it to measure sizes. Still, so adorable.

31. This Steiff bear makes his own in his workshop.

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Didn’t know he could have his own toy workshop. Includes a sewing machine and wood stove.

32. This alien teddy bear is out of this world.

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IT’s red with a little space helmet. It’s also a limited edition Steiff from Japan.

33. A colorful harlequin also needs to know how to juggle.

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He’s in red and white. while he wears a cone hat of green and blue.

34. Charlotte always loves to dress in a scary costume for Halloween.

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She wears a black bat mask and a black tutu. She’s even got a spider near the skirt.

35. A red dress and tiara makes a bear queen of the ball.

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She’s even got a bouquet of roses. So pretty that she stuns.

36. This teddy will be strong for you.

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The barbells even have hearts. While he wears a medal for cuteness.

37. A country singer should always have her own guitar.

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Trixie’s guitar matches her boots. While she dons a black dress and hat.

38. Say hello to Santa’s newest little helper.

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Yes, he’s a Santa elf. Though he doesn’t sport pointy ears.

39. Lindsay always enjoys roasting marshmallows.

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She’s dressed for the colder weather, too. Like the scarf and bow.

40. Guess it’s someone’s sleepy time.

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He wears his own romper and bear slippers. Though he carries a rather mischievous expression.

41. Even among teddy bears, K-Pop is all the rage.

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Well, it’s from Seoul’s teddy bear museum, what do you expect? Guess it’s “Oppa Gangnam Style.”

42. The city is always a bustling place.

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This is from a teddy bear museum in Jeju. Yet, all the bears are in street clothes. One’s even checking her smartphone in the street.

43. Anyone in the mood for smores?

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He has the graham crackers and chocolate. He wears an orange vest to be seen when going to the bathroom.

44. Ladies and gentlemen, the king.

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Here’s bear Elvis in his white jumpsuit and red guitar. Yet, he won’t look so great in his Vegas years.

45. “Me, Pawzan. You, Jane.”

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Here he swings with his jungle bear in harms. While the apes look on.

46. “Now let this be a fair fight.”

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This can get ugly. But at least they’ll be stuffing leaking out by the end instead of blood.

47. Nobody surpasses this iconic bearsketball player.

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This is supposed to be Michael Jordan during the 1990s by the way. He was the Lebron James of his day.

48. It’s always ice and snow in the polar regions.

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Sure, polar bears and penguins don’t go together. But it’s a cute display nonetheless.

49. Must be hard to entertain 7 little bears.

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This a display of Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs. Here she reads them a bedtime story in the woods.

50. Looks like we have the experts at work.

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I think they’re supposed to be archaeologists. Since I saw a few bones and things.

51. Apparently, teddy bears have their own Jurassic Park.

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And we come to some bears about to be eaten by a T-Rex. Don’t have much hope for them.

52. This bear has been through so many tissues.

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This is a get well bear. Nonetheless, you have to love the pajamas.

53. Japanese bears dress in lavish kimonos.

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Wonder if they’re supposed to be a bride and groom or an emperor and empress. Still, they’re adorable.

54. Nobody should miss the Winter Olympics.

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I guess they’re watching some of the events. Includes snowboarding and cross country skiing.

55. Don’t think you can scratch this 7-year itch.

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This is a teddy bear of Marilyn Monroe from The 7th Year Itch. Here her dress goes up from the air vents.

56. Bears always love their bread.

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Here we come to teddy bears baking bread. The bears here also wear chef hats.

57. Everyone seems to love a royal wedding.

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This one is of Prince Charles and Princess Diana. Let’s just say despite the fairy tale atmosphere, the marriage didn’t last.

58. These bears pay tribute to a Buddhist shrine.

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Well, this is from a museum in South Korea. Got to love how the bears bow down to the Buddha.

59. Hera always looks like a queen.

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She’s supposed to be the Greek goddess Hera, queen of Mount Olympus. Given that her husband can’t keep it in his pants, she’s got a very vicious streak.

60. Dionysus always knows how to party.

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He’s the Greek god of wine and revelry. Still, his parties can get pretty wild.

61. These bears play on the beach.

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A mother and daughter build a sandcastle. While a guy goes out surfing.

62. These bears have fallen on hard times.

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This is a rendition of a famous painting. Indeed, they’re poor farmers. But it’s kind of cute.

63. Here the king consults with his advisers.

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You can tell they’re his advisers due to their tall hats. From South Korea.

64. Seems like a leopard snuck in.

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Okay, it’s a teddy bear in a leopard onesy. And it looks adorable in it.

65. This bear lady is rather enterprising.

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She’s smartly dressed in a navy blue business suit. Like her scarf.

66. Seems like Gulliver is all tied up.

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Here’s a teddy bear rendition of Gulliver’s Travels. Includes one giant bear and a bunch of little ones.

67. On Mount Olympus, Zeus is king.

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Yes, that’s Mr. Sex Fiend with the Lightning Bolts himself. As he sits on his golden throne.

68. Beware of the ferocious Minotaur.

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He’s supposed to be half-bear and half bull. And he’ll tear people to shreds with his cuteness.

69. This bear means business.

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Yes, that teddy bear’s got a knife. So it’s best you stay away.

70. A small red dress can always stun.

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This bear wears a sweet little red dress with a bow. Like her jewelry, too.

71. You’d think this was a rainbow bear.

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This bear has bright colors all over it. So adorable and colorful.

72. This bear knows how to keep warm.

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This is the female version of the Vermont bear. Comes with dog and blond hair.

73. Perhaps you’d want some candy from Lucy.

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This is a Lucille Ball teddy bear. Please don’t employ her in any candy factory.

74. When you’re blue, make way for the cheerleading bear.

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Comes with pom poms, flag, and megaphone. Like her bows. So adorable.

75. This teddy comes to support Team USA in the Olympics.

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This was for the 2016 Summer Olympics in Rio. Nonetheless, he seems like quite the avid patriot.

76. This bear dresses in conversation hearts.

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Well, it wears that sweater. Though they’re not making these chalk hearts this year.

77. Someone looks spiffy in a sailor outfit.

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Well, this is for a little kid. Nonetheless, it’s a colorful get up with a pom pom hat. So cute.

78. This bear’s reading for 2.

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Since she’s pregnant. As you can tell by her maternity dress.

79. Wonder if this is for a Korean wedding.

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I guess it is, given the groom’s outfit. The bride wears a white dress.

80. No one can resist a bear on a rocking horse.

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Indeed, the bear rocks a horse by the fire. So hard to resist. Awww.

Fall in Love with These Valentine’s Day Craft Projects (Fourth Edition)

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Moving on, we go onto Valentine’s Day crafts. Though many people usually don’t deck their home with V-Day decorations, you’ll find plenty of them at any store you go to. So someone must be buying them. However, while some might buy V-Day decorations, some tend to make their own. Of course, given that Valentine’s Day pertains to love, plenty of these décor tend to have hearts along with red and pink. So for your reading pleasure, I give you another assortment of Valentine’s Day craft projects to love. Enjoy.

  1. For those rustic types, a burlap wreath will suit your fancy.
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Has 3 red flowers and the word “Love” in red. Perfect for any front door.

2. You might want this dispenser for hugs and kisses.

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It’s made from glass bowl and flower pot. Contains hearts in the bottom.

3. Feel free to hang a wreath of ribbons to your door.

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It’s made from decomesh with heart ribbons all over it. While a red heart is smack in the middle.

4. Perhaps you’d like a curtain of hearts.

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Just consists of string and paper hearts. Quite easy a child could make it.

5. A wooden heart will show you love is kind.

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Just as you see it says, “Love is Kind.” Also has a rag garland across it.

6. Your house will always stand out in a tulle wreath.

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Has some white flowers near the top. While a pink ribbon holds it up.

7. A red heart should always sparkle.

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Has some black branches along with red and silver ribbons. Will look well on any front door.

8. Grace your table on this heart doily.

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It’s a pink crocheted heart with a flower on top. Seems big enough to use as a coaster.

9. A pink heart has to glitter on a wreath.

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It’s a decomesh wreath with 3 pink flowers. Perfect for V-Day. So pretty.

10. You can make a pretty heart in rags.

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This rag wreath uses strips of red, white, and pink. It’s hung by a pink and red ribbon in a bow.

11. A heart wreath should always be filled with red roses.

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The roses are most likely made out of paper or silk. But it’s nonetheless beautiful.

12. Who wouldn’t love these 2 bunnies?

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These rabbits wear crowns and hold hearts. So adorable.

13. A glittering red heart should be emphasized in black.

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This decomesh wreath has a heart in the center with red and black ribbons. It’s a kind of wreath any guest would love.

14. Curl up on your couch with this heart pillow.

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Well, it’s white with a large pink heart. And it’s made from cloth strips sewn together.

15. No sweetheart can refuse a wreath like this.

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It’s a tulle wreath with the words “Be Mine” on it. Has hearts and a pink rose on the right side.

16. With this envelope, you can receive Valentines at the door.

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This is made out of felt as far as I see. Though I’m sure it’ll be used as a school project at some point.

17. A pink wreath covered with roses is just as nice.

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The roses are all made out of tissue paper. While a pink ribbon graces the top.

18. A Valentine’s wreath should be infested with flowers.

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Well, the flowers are similar to what you’d find in a cemetery (fake). Though it has a couple of hearts.

19. Show your love with this heart box.

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Well, it has a photo of some couple. Decorations consist of jewels and a Cupid face.

20. Perhaps you’d like a wreath of roses.

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It consists of red and pink flowers which are surely fake. But it’s rather pretty nonetheless.

21. There’s nothing you can’t love about V-Day blocks.

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Has sayings like “Be Mine,” “Love,” and “Kiss Me.” In red, pink, and white.

22. For those with rustic tastes, you might like this heart wreath.

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Well, those white flowers can be quite small. Also is hung with a brown burlap bow.

23. This heart is a real patchwork.

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Wonder if it’s a pot holder or a coaster. Though it’s trimmed in red.

24. Nothing makes Valentine’s Day like a love box.

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Even has a wedding picture. Includes hearts on each side.

25. You’ll receive lots of Valentines in this mailbox.

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It’s covered with hearts on the side. Love the flag on this, too.

26. A simple yarn wreath is always fitting.

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This one has some purple and red roses on the bottom. While the wreath’s covered in white yarn.

27. A V-Day wreath should have a lot of hearts.

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Particularly if they’re pink and red on a decomesh one. Touched with a red bow.

28. Perhaps you’d like a heart wreath with a lot of tiny roses.

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I know they’re fake. Still, the tiny roses are nonetheless beautiful.

29. Feel free to receive Valentines from this pillow.

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Well, at least the felt red heart. So curl up if you can.

30. Don’t forget to put some hearts on sticks.

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The hearts are made out of glittered paper. There’s also a pink “XoXo” near the pitcher.

31. With some baubles, your Valentine’s Day can certainly shine.

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Includes a heart garland with a heart and key. Though the baubles seem to add a rather winter or Christmasy touch.

32. A pink yarn wreath can be especially festive.

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This one has some hearts along with red, white, and pink flowers. Perfect for any V-Day door.

33. You can never have too many hearts on a heart wreath.

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This is a decomesh with a heart design in the center. And yes, it’s made from foam hearts.

34. Don’t like wreaths? Try this V-Day hanging.

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The bow is quite elaborate. Has a heart dangling from the center.

35. Have a romantic dinner with a candle holder with hearts.

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These have hearts along the top. While the bottom contains rose petals.

36. You can always say it with flowers.

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Or a wreath made out of flowers. Wonder if these are orchids or at least the red ones.

37. Keep warm this Valentine’s Day with a quilt of patchwork hearts.

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Each heart is unique in its own way. Perfect for keeping warm on a cold February day.

38. Perhaps your sweetheart would enjoy pink carnations.

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Contains pink beans in the vase. So you can tell the flowers are fake. Makes a great centerpiece.

39. This pinecone wreath will tug at your heart strings.

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Don’t forget to spray paint them in red. Includes pink leaves and other trimmings.

40. Show someone you love them with this glittery heart box.

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I’m sure you’ll need plenty of glitter paint for this. But it’s quite lovely.

41. Might want to sew some hearts on some hoops.

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Well, these are embroidery hoops. One has roses. The other has buttons.

42. You can always send a message with a glittery notebook.

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It says “Love” on the cover. So let your sweetheart write some message of love. Or not.

43. A pink wreath can use a few flowers.

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This heart wreath is covered with pink ribbon. Love the flowers.

44. You’ll always have a heart with these rustic candle holders.

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One of them has a heart inside. Perfect for any cabin.

45. You can always show love with paper roses.

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Each of them are different sizes and colors. And they’re against a tan background.

46. Count down to Valentine’s Day with this pillow.

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Each heart pocket has a candy inside. And you can put it on your couch.

47. Nothing makes Valentine’s Day like a feathered heart wreath.

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Well, it’s mainly made from white feathers. As hearts across it.

48. You can’t leave conversation hearts out of a V-Day bouquet.

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Though you’ll have to start since they’re no longer selling them. Still, the flowers are pretty.

49. Two barbed wire hearts are better than one.

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Yet, remember barbed wire isn’t something kids should work with. Nonetheless, like the white bows.

50. Sometimes a V-Day throw pillow is all you need.

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This one is white with a red heart. Perfect to have on the couch.

51. Grace your V-Day table with some pink and red tulips.

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The vase contains V-Day M&M’s. While the tulips are most likely fake since they don’t bloom until springtime.

52. Grace a red berry heart wreath on your V-Day door.

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Kind of gives a rather naturalistic look to it. The boughs even have leaves, too.

53. Slip into a pair of conversation heart leggings.

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People seem attached to these chalk hearts for some reason. Still, it confounds me since they don’t have much taste to them.

54. A decomesh heart wreath will always stun visitors.

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This heart shaped wreath must be made out of wire or grapevine. Includes pink hearts and springs.

55. Say something special with these V-Day pencils.

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Mostly consists of pencils with pipe cleaner shapes. Very simple for kids to make.

56. A blue wood heart should include 2 roses.

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Well, the wood and roses are fake. But it’s nonetheless stunning to see.

57. On V-Day, love is all you need.

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Well, it’s a berry wreath with the Beatles lyric in a red frame. Like the black and white flowers.

58. May a dove carry the key to your heart.

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Actually this is a cloth heart depicting a dove. Has lace in the background.

59. Hearts can come in any size.

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These glitter hearts sit on a shelf. Love the purple one the best though.

60. This Valentine’s Day curl up with a heart pillow.

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These pillows aren’t in the traditional colors. but you have to love the flowers. So pretty.

61. Perhaps these letters will spell it out for you.

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The letters in the frames all spell love. While each frame is fancy and is sprayed painted with a different color.

62. Feel free to put anything in this V-Day sack.

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This is crocheted. While the sack is small. Still, got to have a heart.

63. Keep yourself cozy with this Valentine’s Day pillow.

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This one has a crocheted heart. Perfect for a couch or bed.

64. Care to light up this heart?

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This is supposed to be a photo booth prop. Though it can double as a wreath as well. Wonder if it actually lights up. Probably not.

65. A V-Day snow globe should always have a heart.

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This one mostly consists of a jar, snow stuff, and hearts. Seems rather simple to make.

66. This wooden heart can brighten anyone’s Valentine’s Day.

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Has white and red stripes. Love the flowers though.

67. On Valentine’s Day, spell it out on the ladder.

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Spells “Love” with a letter at each rung. While each rung features a vase of flowers.

68. Light up your home with this heart lamp.

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Contains a candle under the heart arch. Also includes berry branches in red and white.

69. Show your valentine love with a tulip wreath.

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The tulips are fake for obvious reasons. Hung by a large white bow.

70. Sometimes it helps to have the heart on the inside.

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You’d think it was a wreath within a wreath. And you’d be right.

71. Someone must’ve shot through this large pink heart of flowers.

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The flowers are in 3 shades of pink, by the way. Great for hanging in the window for all to see.

72. There’s always another way to make hearts go around.

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These are from a card suite. Each one has strips of cloth next to it.

73. Celebrate Valentine’s Day by showing your love in lights.

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This one has a red heart. And yes, these light up like you wouldn’t believe.

74. Grow your plants in these V-Day pots.

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Sure, they don’t contain any flowers. But you have to love the puns.

75. Love is always best expressed with flowers.

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This one has matching pink roses around the “O” in “love.” So pretty.

76. Yarn hearts go well on a yarn wreath.

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Well, the hearts have yarn wrapped around them. One even has an arrow through it.

77. Give your little love bug a pair of V-Day booties.

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They’re crocheted with hearts on top. So cute.

78. Adorn this fancy heart brooch this Valentine’s Day.

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This one has golden crocheted lace. Love the pearls on it though.

79. For a more tame wreath, try red burlap.

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This one has hearts on the ribbon near the bottom. Love the zigzag bow on top.

80. In this frame, you’ll find plenty of hanging hearts.

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This one has plenty of plastic hearts and beads hanging. And yes, the frame is quite fancy.

81. Perhaps you might want to try a button wreath.

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The buttons are all pink and of all sizes. While it’s hung by a chain.

82. You’ll find hearts all over this V-Day wreath.

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Some are glittering. While some have polka dots. There are even a few love bugs, too.

83. It takes many pink hearts to make a wreath.

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This one is made from wood matching the ladder, or so it seems. While it’s topped with a pale pink bow.

84. You can fit plenty of hearts inside goblet.

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Well, doesn’t seem what I had in mind but, okay. Still, not sure how many glittering hearts you can fit inside them.

85. Anyone would want a Valentine’s Day heart wreath with ribbons.

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The ribbons have all kinds of patterns as well. But the striped bow on top stands out.

86. Got an old window? Make a mirror out of it.

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This one has a couple of hearts in the middle. So lovely, isn’t it?

87. There are plenty of hugs and kisses on this pillow.

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The pillow has XO’s on it. While the fringe is quite interesting.

88. This wreath will certainly start a conversation.

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These consist of conversation hearts. Or conversation hearts made from wood and painted.

89. Keep your wine in these bags of hearts.

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These have pink hearts stitched on them. Perfect for a romantic evening.

90. Sometimes it’s sweet to start simple.

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This is a simple hoop wreath. Includes flowers and tree slices saying X or O.

91. Perhaps you’d prefer a red sweater wreath.

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This is a red felt wreath with flowers. Like the pearl centers, too.

92. These conversation heart rings have plenty to say.

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You can have them say anything you want. Yet, you can’t buy the real candies though.

93. This Valentine’s Day, let your love grow.

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This one spells “LOVE” with each letter in a flower pot. Also has hearts rising from them, too.

94. Curl up on the couch with one of these heart pillows.

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Available in red, pink, and white. The white one is especially shiny.

95. Nothing’s sweeter than a heart of roses.

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This one is made within a picture frame. Like the intricate design.

96. You can’t have a heart wreath without roses.

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This one only has roses on one side. Yet, the bouquet is tied with a burlap bow.

97. A red felt heart can always be fancy.

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This one has pearls laced in them. While it’s held up by a white ribbon and a rose.

98. A yarn wreath can always be framed.

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Helps if it’s against some sheet music. Wonder what the song is.

99. Welcome your guests with a heart wreath that shimmers and shines.

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This one is covered in jewelry, buttons, and pearls. Love the golden bow. So lovely.

100. Perhaps this purple jeweled wreath will suit your fancy.

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Now that’s more like it. Love the beautiful jewelry on it. Wouldn’t mind having this.

Be Mine With These Valentine’s Day Treats (Fifth Edition)

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Of course, since Valentine’s Day pertains to love and romance, food must make an entrance somehow. Whether it’s a romantic dinner like the one above or a dessert platter with hearts, you’ll find plenty of hearty delights to suit your fancy. Though I have to disappoint that the maker of those sweethearts has gone out of business. However, I don’t really think it’s a big loss since they’re heart-shaped chalk pieces with added sugar. Nonetheless, there’s always the box of chocolates. So for your reading pleasure, I give you another assortment of treats for Valentine’s Day. Enjoy.

  1. Try some of these sweet pink Marcarons.
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All of these have sweet red hearts on them. The wrappers are optional.

2. Your dog would enjoy these heart flowers.

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Yes, they’re dog treats for Valentine’s Day. I know how much people love their pets. Though sometimes I think their affinity may go overboard.

3. Anyone could love these heart cookie sandwiches.

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Each of these have heart sprinkles in the filling. And yes, you cut the cookies from the roll if you want hearts on them.

4. You’ll find a heart in this tart.

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Well, the heart is a tart, too. Also has heart crusts apart from it as well.

5. Care for a hearty cinnamon twist?

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Even comes with some pink cocoa to wash it down with. And let’s hope the twists don’t have raisins.

6. Have a bite of these hearty jello bars.

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Seems to come in a few layers such as cheese cake and cookie. Make sure to keep it chill for the party.

7. You won’t be without heart in these kiwi slices.

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Yes, they put hearts in these. Not sure what the hearts are made of though.

8. Want some raspberries on that chocolate cake?

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This one doesn’t use icing. Since the hearts are imprinted on the flower on top.

9. Some heart cookies just have fancy trimmings.

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These have icing lace and roses. Still, you have to admire the pink floral icing.

10. Nothing makes a Valentine’s Day party like some heart pizza.

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You can even put some basil on it. Nonetheless, the pepperoni hearts bring it a lot of charm.

11. These heart cookies are all spots.

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The spots are all different colors and sizes. And yes, they’re professionally made.

12. Cheesecake hearts make for a romantic dessert.

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They’re made into hearts and are covered in raspberries. Perfect for a Valentine’s Day meal.

13. Nobody can resist a Valentine’s Day cupcake like this.

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Consists of a heart on top of icing and an Oreo cookie. You can put it in a cup if you want.

14. Perhaps you’d like some rosy cupcakes.

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Well, these have pink roses in icing that take nearly the whole cupcakes surface. So pretty.

15. Care for some blueberry pancakes for a Valentine’s Day breakfast?

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Well, these are supposed to be blueberry almond. Like the heart shape butter piece.

16. You can’t help but love these chocolate heart cupcakes.

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They’re shaped like hearts and covered with icing. Some may even have sprinkles.

17. Heart rice crispy treats should always be red.

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Each of these is decorated in white icing. Like the one with drizzle swirls.

18. Hearts will abound for your little one over this V-Day lunch.

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Consists of hearts with the fruit, veggies, and starch. So cute.

19. These heart cookies come with lace and dots.

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Well, they have lace in the edges and red dots. Professionally made but delightful.

20. You always have to get two large hearts on a Valentine Day cake.

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The cake is pink with 2 tiers. While the hearts and swirls are in front.

21. No V-Day is complete for a kid without a bento lunch.

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Each has a sandwich and heart strawberries. So adorable.

22. Please your sweethearts with this cupcake set.

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Each of these has a V-Day scene. Like the lock and key one the best.

23. These Rice Krispie treats are covered in hearts.

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Well, the heart sprinkles are over the drizzle. Seems rather simple to make.

24. Little heart beets always go with a V-Day salad.

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Comes with carrot peels and iceberg lettuce. You can also douse it with dressing in a heart.

25. Would you like a pancake sandwich heart?

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There’s Nutella in the filling. Served with raspberries and flour.

26. Hearts on stick always belong on a cake.

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The hearts are cookies in red icing. While the cake is covered in white.

27. Nothing makes Valentine’s Day like a couple of strawberry lady bugs.

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They even have signs up. While they’re decked in chocolate. So cute.

28. A heart cake will always inspire love.

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This one features hearts in pink and red. So pretty. Love it.

29. How about a heart cake covered in pink?

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This one is iced to look like a flower. And in a heart for love.

30. Would you like a piece of a heart cheesecake?

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These are covered in cherry and blueberry sauces. While each are sprinkled with coconut.

31. A cake bar should have 2 hearts.

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It’s red velvet with red flakes on icing. While the hearts are also made out of icing.

32. Feel free to take a heart sandwich.

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Many of these have strawberries inside. While they’re all arranged along a rose.

33. Sweetheart cheesecakes always make for a sweet treat.

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Sure these conversation hearts aren’t around. But the cheesecake versions will taste better.

34. You may decorate a chocolate heart cake any way you want.

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One has M&Ms and sprinkles on pink icing. The other just has icing and sprinkles.

35. You’ll find flowers on these heart cookies.

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Sure the flowers may not be roses. But they’re certainly quite beautiful.

36. Feel free to get these shot-through hearts.

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These are cake bites shaped like hearts and covered in pink and white icing. The sticks are shaped like arrows.

37. Conversation heart marshmallows are a simple treat.

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Oh, wait, you may not be able to make these. Or at least after this year.

38. There’s nothing you can’t love about these chocolate heart cakes.

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Two say “love” while one has pink and white stripes with a chocolate heart.

39. These V-Day bites will warm your heart.

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You could have em’ in white or red. Either way, you’ll probably find some kind of cake or candy filling.

40. Impress your guests with these Valentine’s Day cupcakes.

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Each of these has a heart or a flower on it. So pretty.

41. Conversation heart cakes will get anyone talking.

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Each of these has chocolate icing and a heart. And I’m sure the hearts are better than the real candy.

42. Nothing can be more lovely than these pastry bites.

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These have hearts and roses on them. the pink ones even have sugar on the edges.

43. Nothing makes Valentine’s Day memorable like these heart cookies.

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Each of these has a fruit filling in them. Perfect for any V-Day party.

44. These V-Day cakes are all the rage.

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These come in circle, flower and heart shapes. While they’re decked with icing, raspberries, and sprinkles.

45. Like Oreos? Try these heart sandwiches.

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This one has Oreo bits in the cake batter. While the filling contains pink icing.

46. These owl V-Day cake pops are a real hoot.

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These are supposed to be “Owl Love You Forever” cake pops. So cute.

47. A heart cake should always be surrounded by flowers.

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Each of these cupcakes has pink and white roses. While the heart is pink with 3 roses on the side.

48. Pretzel hearts make a fine Valentine’s Day snack.

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These consist of heart pretzels and red chocolate. Real simple to make.

49. There’s nothing sweeter on V-Day than these cookies.

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These have cute little sayings on them. Some of them even consist of animals.

50. Care for a strawberry rose?

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Since the roses are made out of strawberries. While the dirt made out of pudding and Oreos.

51. This heart jello cake makes an ideal V-Day treat.

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Then again, they might be made out of candy. Yet, the top is sprinkled with coconut, beads, and smaller hearts.

52. There’s more to love with these V-Day cupcakes.

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Consists of letters, lips, and a flying heart. All on top of butter cream icing.

53. Perhaps you’d want a rose on your cupcake.

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Though the roses are red and made out of icing. While the cake is red velvet.

54. Hope you have a heart for these cookies.

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The hearts have fruit filling in them. And you can use gingerbread man cookie cutters for them, too.

55. a heart cake always needs strawberry slices.

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The slices are arranged in a flower. While the rest of the cake’s covered with sprinkles.

56. Don’t know how to tell your sweetheart you love them? Say it in a cake.

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Then again, you might have to evaluate how serious you are before you get the cake. Still, love the icing roses.

57. Perhaps a V-Day cookie cake will suit your fancy.

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Says “you & me” in pink and white icing. Like the hearts and pink snowflakes.

58. Want some pink heart pudding?

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These are cups with chocolate crusts. And yes, each has heart sprinkles inside.

59. Brighten anyone’s Valentine’s Day with these donuts.

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Each of these has their own design. Some have hearts. Some have stripes and sayings.

60. A chocolate heart can always enhance any treat.

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While these cupcakes have chocolate icing and heart sprinkles. Must be delicious.

61. Heart grilled cheese will delight you as a V-Day lunch.

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Well, these are mini grilled cheese sandwiches. Still they contain other things, too.

62. Two hearts beat as one on this V-Day loaf cake slice.

The pink hearts are in there. Not sure how this person did it though. Seriously, cake filling like that baffles me.

63. Would you like a chocolate rose?

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Of course, you’d have to be an expert chocolatier to make these. But they’re nonetheless beautiful.

64. Got leftover candy canes from Christmas? Make chocolate hearts out of them.

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Each have a conversation heart on them. While they’re also decked with sprinkles.

65. Would you like some conversation hearts on a stick?

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Seems like they don’t say much. But they’re probably made from some pastel chocolate.

66. I’m sure this little honey bee will taste as sweet.

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It’s called “Honey Bee…My Valentine.” While the bee is made out of a Twinkie.

67. Small heart cheesecakes are always a delight.

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Each of these have chocolate with pink hearts on top. While the cheese cake part is pink, too.

68. Grace your dessert platter with these pink heart cookies.

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These have beautiful designs with flowers and hearts. So pretty.

69. A Valentine Day’s cake can never be without a heart.

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The heart is pink with icing in shades of pink. So lovely.

70. You’d find plenty of hugs and kisses on these cupcakes.

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Consists of x’s and o’s on a red velvet cake. Perfect for any V-Day party.

71. The hearts should always come on top of a tall cake.

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Consists of 2 tiers with ribbons and hearts on each. Love this.

72. You’ll have a conversation with these heart cakes.

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These have sprinkles on the bottom. But at least they probably don’t taste like chalk.

73. Sometimes you might want a creamy heart in a cupcake.

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These are red velvet with cream inside. Yet, each is in a heart shape.

74. These chocolate heart cupcakes should delight.

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The hearts are made from cake. As they sit on top of pink icing and sprinkles.

75. Perhaps you might want a more elegant V-Day dessert during a romantic evening.

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IT’s a chocolate heart cake with raspberries. Includes drizzle and whipped cream.

76. Feel free to take one from this V-Day snack tray.

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All of these are in a heart shape. Includes cheese, ham, crackers, and cucumber slices.

77. You can always say it in cookies.

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It says, “I love you” in cookie and red icing. Note make sure you don’t be creepy about presenting these to your sweetheart.

78. Serve your guests on V-Day with this snack mix.

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Well, you have to add some pink stuff and hearts. And yes, includes some pink waffle cookie triangles.

79. Nothing says love like fudge brownies.

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Has a chocolate heart on each square. While it’s all decorated iwth sprinkles.

80. Anyone would love to eat these little honeybee cookies.

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These are chocolate covered Oreos as bees. So adorable.

The Wonderful World of Vintage Valentines (Sixth Edition)

swallow-clipart-graphicsfairy012bIn January, you often see stores stashed with Valentine’s Day gifts, cards, and decorations. Because let’s just say after one cash cow holiday is over, retail chains just latch onto the next. Though some do use Martin Luther King Jr.’s birthday to sell stuff, which goes against the great civil rights leader’s legacy. Anyway, one tradition of Valentine’s Day is exchanging valentines filled with sentiments of love. Though some people may hold nostalgia for some of these vintage cards. Yet, do a Google search and you’ll find that many of these valentines aren’t as wholesome as many would remember. Sure they might have cutesy images. But the words can also be double entendres as well as convey some unsettling messages. While some may depict inappropriate imagery entirely. So for your reading pleasure, I give you another treasury of crazy vintage valentines. Enjoy.

  1. Happy Valentine’s Day from the fish and the leek.
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I have no idea what these two have to do with each other. Makes The Shape of Water seem comparatively tame.

2. “I’m grinding out the wish that’s my heart.”

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Featuring a meat grinder in any valentine isn’t really a good idea. Seriously it makes the kid seem like a budding psychopath.

3. “Like mustard on a weenie, I’d go good with you. So be my little valentine, no one else will do!”

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The girl apparently seems impressed by the size of the, uh, hotdog. Seriously, I know the dirty implications of “weenie.”

4. “In spite of all I have to do, I’ll never be forgetting you.”

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Yet, look in the outgoing mail bin, you see that Susie doesn’t just have eyes for one. Susie is a slut.

5. “I’d share my heart with you.”

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But what are they sharing? Is that ice cream? Please let it be ice cream.

6. “Baby it’s brief. I love you, my valentine.”

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And here’s a girl lounging in a sexy pose on a beach chair. Definitely not appropriate for a Valentine’s Day card.

7. Nothing says Valentine’s Day than one of a scary clown.

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And you thought Pennywise was creepy. This guy’s guaranteed to haunt your dreams.

8. “You’re such a pretty little tot/I hope that U will forget me not.”

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Cue the girl reaching into her pocket and pulling out a vial of mace to spray into that boy’s face. I’m sure he has it coming.

9. “Please be ‘frank’, Valentine, ‘must’d be a ‘long’ wait?”

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Cue how he’s got a hungry look in his eyes. And I don’t think it’s for hotdogs either.

10. Nothing will please but the whole package.

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This is rather suggestive, especially with “Big Boy” at the end. Also, the drawing kind of freaks me out.

11. “Every evening after nine, I dream of you, my Valentine.”

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Yet, looking into his cold dead eyes, you wish he wouldn’t. Seriously, the kid’s creeping me out.

12. Will you be my valentine, please?

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Still, “Little Girl” and “Big Boy” doesn’t seem to have appropriate connotation. Also, the girl seems desperate.

13. “I’d like to be my neighbor’s valentine.”

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Sure the kids may not mind. But both seem to have a look that would lead to a restraining order.

14. “I love you now, as I always did./I even loved you as a kid.”

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Okay, this seems a bit creepy. And I think the girl and the cat in the baby carriage is quite freaked out.

15. “I’d love to saddle myself off on you for life!”

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May be innocent enough. But “saddle” seems to carry a rather sexual double entendre. Let’s hope she’s not on a one trick pony.

16. “Stealing a heart is no crime.”

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Is that girl’s dress up? Seems like it. Still, the rabbit really doesn’t want to see that.

17. “I believe in women’s rights- and I’m right this time!”

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Uh, that’s not exactly women’s rights. Besides, there’s a chance she could be wrong.

18. “I’m in a stew over you, Valentine!”

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Yet, this doesn’t mean you should put a dog in a big pot of stew. Unless this is from China.

19. This clown has lots of love for you.

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Still, that doesn’t mean you should go near that guy since he’s pretty terrifying. Though you have to admire how he juggles hearts and a barrel.

20. “You iss like a flower in the garden of my heart.”

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I’m not sure if I’d want flowers from a kid who can easily be the killer in a horror movie. But that’s just me.

21. “You’re the girl for my boy-cycle.”

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For one, the kid is as creepy as hell. Secondly, I think by “boy-cycle” he means his penis. But I must’ve had my mind in the gutter too long.

22. Happy Valentine’s Day from the cross-eyed Dutch girl.

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This must’ve been the fault of the illustration. But you wonder if the girl doesn’t see a doctor. Then again, she might not be able to afford it.

23. “You’ve got me eating out of your hands, my Valentine.”

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I’m guessing the gator is into the girl in the grass skirt. And the girl seems okay with it. Or is that supposed to be a dinosaur? Oh, God, I’m confused.

24. “I aim to make you my Valentine. Can I be your big shot?”

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Again, with the gunplay. Still, no, I don’t want to be your “big shot.”

25. “I’m fiddling while my heart burns for you, Valentine.”

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It’s almost as if he’s a little Nero in the making. Since he seems like the boy who’d fiddle while everything around him goes up in smoke. Mostly because he started the fire.

26. “I’ve enlisted in Cupid’s Army.”

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Apparently, Cupid sees no need to wear pants even in uniform. Seriously, what does he have against pants? And I hope he’s wearing underwear.

27. “Shine on me and make me glow, my Valentine.”

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Did anyone notice how a lightbulb kind of resembles a pair of testicles? Maybe not until you saw this valentine. Kind of explains how men promise you love but they give you their balls.

28. “You’re so sweet- I can eat you up.”

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Though it doesn’t sound quite right coming from a ferocious shark. After all, we’ve all seen Jaws.

29. “I’m fishin’ fer a little girl’s love.”

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Note how he has the large gold fish between his legs. Seems suggestive for a boy doesn’t it? You can see why he wants a little girl’s “love.”

30. “I’ll hammer away till you’re mine.”

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Hammering away till they’re yours isn’t a good relationship strategy. If she doesn’t want you, she doesn’t want you. Also, he’s totally nailing the heart.

31. Hope your valentine is out of this world.

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See how the heart is strategically placed over the alien’s chest. Still, I think it’s supposed to be a girl given the eyelashes and pony tail.

32. “I’m gunning for you, Valentine! I aim to please you!”

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The gun and holster image shows that this pertains to sex. Seriously, they don’t even try to imply it.

33. Looks like Cupid is staging a stick up.

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Seems like he’s after love and money. Yet, he doesn’t seem intimidating wearing a golden belt with a holster.

34. “Pop! Pop!…will go this gun of mine as long as you’re my Valentine!”

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Don’t think a boy should be putting his hand into a cannon. Else he’ll either end up in the ER or six feet under.

35. “Be my Valentine. I think you are a deer.”

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You mean you think I’m someone to shoot at and make into food and clothes. Also, it’s cool for white kids to dress as Native Americans.

36. Happy Valentine’s Day from Officer Monkey.

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And that monkey has a gun and a night stick. I think you want to watch out for him and run for the hills.

37. “I will have an axe to grind unless you’ll be my valentine.”

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Boy isn’t messing around either. So accept him or he’ll hack you to pieces. Seriously, this is messed up.

38. “We’d be way out on Valentine’s Day.”

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Didn’t know they had valentines of the Rolling Stones. Guess this one is Mick Jagger. Though you won’t get any satisfaction from this one.

39. “My heart’s zooming like a rocket for you, Valentine.”

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And yet he’s holding onto a rocket shooting up into space. Note the phallic imagery as it’s situated between his legs.

40. Someone’s hunting for your heart.

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The boy is on a boat with a gun and holding a gun. So run for the hills or he’ll bag you as a trophy.

41. So does a tennis player score at all when making love?

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I bet the gist of this card is: “So do you think I’m great in bed?” But they used tennis motifs to make it seem wholesome when it’s not.

42. “You’re different, Valentine!”

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Yet, this one features a tiki mask. Something that Polynesian people hold as a sacred image. Oh, commercialism, what will you debase next?

43. Green Arrow is aiming for his valentine.

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Yet, unlike Cupid, I don’t think his arrows will make you fall in love with someone. Rather they’ll probably kill you. Also, he kind of resembles a sex dungeon Robin Hood.

44. He’s out to trap his valentine.

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Sure he might be stalking for his valentine. But at least he’s got a blunderbuss. So he’s only got one shot.

45. “I want a good girl-bad!”

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Yet, smoking a cigarette while being dressed in shorts and a sweater won’t help. Seriously, he reminds me of a pint-sized Victor McLagen from The Informer.

46. Of course, Valentine’s Day has its share of broken hearts.

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Though this is just utterly ridiculous. Seriously, she might be sad. But she kind of makes me wonder if the designers were on drugs at the time.

47. Perhaps you might want to buy a watermelon.

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Okay, this is really racist. Yeah, I know it was a different time. But still, the offensiveness must be noted. Also, see how the girl has bare feet and is smiling.

48. Want to do the hula for love?

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Not sure if this is offensive. But what the hell is the girl wearing under her grass skirt?

49. Nothing says Valentine’s Day like the sound of a machine gun from the trenches.

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What does Valentine’s Day have to do with a combat zone? Shouldn’t love be about promoting peace between nations? Not killing each other?

50. Want to propose to your sweetheart on Valentine’s Day? Send them this lobster valentine.

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Well, chances are if you’re using a ring, you can’t afford a lobster dinner anyway. Still, lobster is a strange thing to put on a valentine.

Make a Wish and Blow Out the Candles with These Birthday Party Cakes (Fifth Edition)

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Since my 29th birthday is on January 13, it’s only natural that I do another edition of messed up birthday cakes from Cake Wrecks. When we make a cake in our homes for our loved ones, we usually expect that mistakes will be made since we’re not anticipated a masterpiece. But when we purchase a cake from a store or bakery, we expect that it will look as perfect as the picture in the book. Yet, since we have a website like Cake Wrecks, we should know full well that this isn’t the case. Sometimes the decorators may not know how to take directions. Sometimes they’re not great artists that the cake looks creepy or disgusting. So for your reading pleasure, I give you another assortment of screwed up birthday cakes. Enjoy. By the way, some of these may not be safe for work.

  1. I think they meant a 2 in blue.
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This one has piping in red while it says “too No in Blue.” But at least it has 2 candles.

2. When you need a cake to cover 3 occasions for your dad.

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Guess this was made for a dad who just got out of prison. Though it also works as a 50 Shades of Grey theme.

3. “Nobody Likes You When You’re 23.”

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That’s not a great message to put on cake. This is especially the case with the smiley face containing x’s.

4. Perhaps you might want to rethink the hotdog cake.

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Yeah, that hotdog doesn’t look right. Not to mention, the drizzle doesn’t resemble mustard.

5. Who doesn’t want a SpongeBob cake?

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That SpongeBob looks really disgusting, especially around the nose. Also, why does the cake have 6 candles.

6. Seems like Alexis will be very disappointed.

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Since Alexis wanted the letters in pink. While the decorator didn’t know how to follow directions.

7. I don’t think Bobby will get his Lone Ranger cake.

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The cake doesn’t even resemble a western scene. Also, “lone” is spelled “loan.”

8. Happy Birthday to Jenifer with “One N Only.”

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Well, at least they spell her name right. Though the “F” is capitalized.

9. Of course, every child likes a clown cake.

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Suddenly, Pennywise doesn’t seem too bad despite being an actual killer clown. Seriously, why do they cater clowns to children?

10. Speaking of Pennywise, this cake should make Stephen King fans rejoice.

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Well, if you want an IT themed party, you can’t go wrong with this. Since this cake can terrify the shit out of you.

11. Any little boy would enjoy an epic Avengers cake.

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Okay, if your son is into superheroes, you might want a cake that doesn’t include Thor’s hammer. In case Thor’s hammer resembles a dildo.

12. If you want to see Nightwing go against the Joker, you might like this cake.

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Actually you’d hate it. Since it basically consists of badly drawn figures playing basketball.

13. They only needed to put “Happy Birthday” on the cake.

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But someone just had to repeat the instructions. You have to wonder who decorates these things sometimes.

14. A Winnie the Pooh cake is always a wholesome choice.

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What the hell are Pooh, Tigger, and Eeyore are doing? Seriously, this can’t be good.

15. I don’t think Bobby will be pleased.

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Since it’s spelled out as “Booby.” Hope that doesn’t result in someone getting stuck with a bad nickname for life.

16. Someone wants sprinkles all over the monitor?

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Apparently, that’s what it says. Not sure why. Seems like someone doesn’t follow directions.

17. Perhaps you’d like to do nails on a cake.

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But the disembodied braceleted hands doesn’t seem to help matters. Since that’s kind of creepy.

18. Didn’t like the Minnie you put on the cake? Turn it into a bowtie.

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At least someone realized they made a mistake. Still, doesn’t seem to help matters as you can see.

19. So is this a cake for Buddy?

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Someone doesn’t seem so sure who this cake is for. Since there’s a question mark at the end.

20. Happy Birthday, Picks?

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Must be short for “Pickles” I guess. Still, doesn’t seem to go with the blue flowers.

21. You can just put the plaque right around the edges.

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Except it says, “Happy Birthday Plaque” like they expected it to be for anyone. And in pink icing, too.

22. Well, do you want it to say “Happy Birthday” or not?

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Apparently, some decorators pretty much put on what they hear on the phone. Wonder what was going on here.

23. For God’s sake, that’s not how you draw Mickey Mouse!

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Seriously, a blackface Mickey Mouse? Did the decorator have any idea of how extremely racist that is? Then again, Walt Disney didn’t see anything wrong with doing Song of the South.

24. Since when did Mickey have fangs?

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Excuse me, but that no way resembles Mickey Mouse. More like the Big Bad Wolf getting ditched by his prom date.

25. Apparently, you can’t use spell check on cake decorating.

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Yeah, the punctuation is horrible on this one. Also I’m not sure what that saying means. Hope Sue isn’t a grammar Nazi.

26. I don’t think that’s a great way to describe how someone’s aging.

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Also, that wine glass reminds me more of a misshapen toilet plunger. Seriously, how hard is it is to do wine glasses?

27. So it’s somebody’s buttday, isn’t it?

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Hope Sue isn’t too self-conscious. Because this is definitely something nobody wants on a cake, let alone a woman.

28. Hope you can blow the candles off this one, Oliver.

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Okay, “blow that” shouldn’t be on a cake. Because that could have a lot of a lot of negative and sexual connotations. Oh, it’s supposed to be “below.”

29. Perhaps you should go with a birthday message that doesn’t get censored.

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Also, that says “Jappy” instead of “Happy.” Not the kind of message you’d want to open with.

30. You should always remember your followers on their special day.

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It says, “Happy Birthday Stalker!” Makes me wonder what the relationship is between them.

31. Those who love the Smurfs would enjoy this cake.

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What the hell is wrong with his nose? Seriously, that’s messed up.

32. Hope you can appreciate a cake of your neighborhood Spiderman.

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Okay, that didn’t turn out well. Also, is that supposed to be a hand?

33. Any boy would love an Iron Man cake on his birthday.

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From Cake Wrecks: “Huh, I’ve never heard of Iron Man’s “exploding crotch” feature before. Must be an upgrade.”

34. You’d get excited over this monster truck cake.

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Yet, this truck seems to go on the shitty path. Seriously, the trail resembles a huge turd.

35. Don’t have Ninja Turtles? Perhaps a pencil box will do.

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Well, at least Craig’s getting a new pencil box for his birthday. Though I don’t think he’d want one.

36. I guess Delia is into rock music.

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From Cake Wrecks: “Clearly the baker just wanted to protect the identities of those poor musicians.” Seems reasonable.

37. Are you a boy who likes video games? This Mario cake is for you.

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Yet, I think the inscription shouldn’t have been handled by someone who transcribes like this. But at least they included an 8.

38. I sense a disturbance in the Force.

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Just because Disney now owns Star Wars. Doesn’t mean it’s appropriate to put Disney characters on a Star Wars cake. Because it isn’t.

39. Plenty of boys would love a Ninja Turtles cake.

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Guess that’s what they look like without their shells. Still, I don’t want to see that at all.

40. when it comes to baseball, please don’t include a bat.

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I know that’s supposed to be a baseball bat. But it looks more like a wooden lightsaber, a magic wand, or a dildo.

41. Hope Patrick doesn’t have a crappy birthday this year.

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Apparently, he doesn’t mind having smiling turds on his cake. Still, it’s kind of hilarious.

42. Don’t have Power Rangers for a cake? Use a T-shirt pic.

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This seems kind of cheap if you ask me. Seriously, you have to wonder about this.

43. Not sure what Derek’s friends think about him from this cake.

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Of course, we all know what a “douchebag” is. Then again, it just might be a term of endearment in this case.

44. A little princess must have a Barbie Princess Tiara cake.

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From Cake Wrecks: “All I see is a giant cat’s paw. Does Barbie have a cat? Is this somehow related? Am I over-thinking this? Where are you all going?”

45. Is that supposed to be a dragon head?

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Actually I’m not really sure what this is supposed to be. A frog? A fish? An alien?

46. If you have a winter birthday, you might want a cake of a snowy landscape.

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Looks more like a tree monster. And right now it’s hungry.

47. Well, at least that would be good news for anyone with celiac disease.

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Though would you want that written on a cake? Probably not.

48. Sometimes a request doesn’t really pan out.

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I think the family wanted musical notes drawn at the cake. Unfortunately, one decorator didn’t get the memo.

49. Apparently, Case doesn’t have a preference.

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Yet, the bakery could use someone who doesn’t write down everything the customer says. Kind of detracts from the aesthetic.

50. What the hell happened to Scooby Doo?

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Seems like the dog is on drugs or has been through a horrible accident. Hasn’t been the same since.

51. Do you want to eat a snowman?

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This was for a 12-year-old. But it’s clear they’re not a snowman. Because snowmen don’t last that long. Except on Hoth.

52. Would you like the message on top?

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Note how it’s phrased like a question. Though they put the message on top anyway.

53. If you like Speedracer, this cake is for you.

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Apparently, the decorator isn’t familiar with the material. Still, the first part is, “Go Peed Race” which is hilarious.

54. When someone wants sprinkles, you’d better give them sprinkles.

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Yet, someone just wrote what the person ordered on the cake. And there are no sprinkles around it.

55. Seems like someone doesn’t feel fond of the birthday boy.

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I guess this one was for a joke. Yet, why did the words appear in yellow?

56. Apparently, 1971 was a great vintage.

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Yet, we should know that while aged wine may peak at some point, it reaches a point of decline. Though such is life.

57. So is it supposed to be Mom or Mother? Let’s go with both.

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It says “Momther” as if they couldn’t choose between the two. That’s not even a word. Or should we add it to the dictionary?

58. “Rapunzel, Rapunzel, let down your hair.” But maybe not like that.

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Okay, that’s pretty disgusting. Seriously, that’s a really long hairball.

59. They asked to have it in green.

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Instead, it’s written in red. But at least you can see a green balloon.

60. Someone must be a fan of NFL Monday night football.

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This one has a scantily clad woman riding a football. Not sure how that works, but I get the idea.

61. So is this for a 20th or 40th birthday?

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Because the cake has 40 on it. While the candles say 20. Not sure how that works.

62. Those are supposed to be balloons, by the way.

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Yet, looking at them, they seem like black and blue sperm. Not exactly what you’d want on a cake.

63. I’m sure a clown will put a smile on your face.

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Okay, that’s incredibly terrifying. Like something out of a nightmare or scary Asian theater.

64. They’re supposed to be brown balloons.

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Though they more likely resemble turds with tails. Yeah, kind of shitty isn’t it?

65. Well, a cat cake might be cute.

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Actually, I changed my mind. In fact, this cat is quite terrifying, even with the party hat.

66. It’s not every day you get booze on your 18th birthday.

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Yet, you wouldn’t get away with this in America. Since the drinking age in the US in 21.

67. When you turn 17, you shouldn’t forget to wear underwear.

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Though when you’re 17, you shouldn’t be reminded on it. Least of all on a birthday cake.

68. Any kid would enjoy a monkey cake.

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Okay, that monkey’s quite frightening. Not something for a 2-year-old’s party.

69.  Please use abbreviations for the months if you have to.

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Yet, some people just don’t know how to take directions. So you get a message like this.

70. Mind where the hooves dig in.

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Also, it seems the candles are coming from the horse’s ass. Also is that a pile of poo behind it?

71. Looks like the racer has gotten into an accident.

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Yet, the track looks quite messy for Motocross doesn’t it? Also I don’t think the racer will get out of the icing.

72. A Harry Potter cake will certainly bring out the magic.

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What the hell is up with his mouth? Seriously, that just looks really weird.

73. Well, Brian said he’s a Red Sox fan.

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Okay, the bat should go. Seriously, the phallic imagery is apparent.

74. Nothing makes a birthday cake like one with your face on it.

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I’d have to be an egomaniac to want that. Because this looks really strange if you ask me.

75. Sometimes less characters isn’t always better.

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I’m sure this is for a kid’s 13th birthday. But you’d think it was for a 13th, uh, something else.

76. Superman always flies faster than a speeding bullet.

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However, Superman looks more like he’s resting than flying through the sky to save people. Kind of lame if you think about it.

77. People always need support when they turn 40.

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Not sure if showing support means whipping out a bra. Then I get it’s supposed to be a joke.

78. Seems like Tinkerbell has really let herself go.

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God, her head is quite misshapen on this cake. While her wings are quite small.

79. Perhaps a dog cake will amuse you.

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Okay, that kind of frightens me. Seriously, the dog looks like it’s about to bite at somebody’s heels in cold blood.

80. If you like unicorns, you’ll love a cake like this.

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Though I’m not sure about the message. But at least they gave the unicorn a sweet pink mane.

The Senseless Shutdown

We all know that Donald Trump’s presidency is one long series of unfortunate events that’s making living in the United States a dystopian nightmare. As we all know, Trump managed to win over his supporters by promising a big, beautiful wall that Mexico will pay for. Despite that Mexico sure isn’t, especially since Trump called them rapists and criminals in a campaign speech. Now that Trump is president, he wants $5 billion to fund his wall at the US-Mexico border, which Congress doesn’t want to give him. Because it’s a stupid waste of money, which is plain to see if you just look at a map of North America. Or a history book on the Great Wall of China, which has benefitted the country more as a tourist attraction than protecting against Mongol invaders. Honestly, even Republicans wouldn’t give Trump any wall money when they were in charge of the legislative branch. As a result, the federal government has shut down in December and now we’re deep into its third week. While at least 800,000 federal workers are now struggling to keep it together along with the countless subcontractors and citizens who depend on them.

For the legions of government employees and contractors, the holidays was hell as they agonized over how to cover their electric bill, mortgage payment, or trip to the grocery store. And God only knows whether 2018 would be the worst Christmas of their lives that Donald Trump’s latest temper tantrum has upended. Some 420,000 of these are “essential personnel” and working without pay. This comprises of 41,000 law enforcement officials, 54,000 Border Patrol agents, and 53,000 Transportation Security Administration workers. 380,000 of these employees have been furloughed, including 28,000 Forest Service staff, 16,000 in the National Park Service, and 16,7000 at NASA. The longer the stoppage goes on, the more people will feel the squeeze. Already, the Small Business Administration has been shut down, delaying loan processing. A growing number of national parks, museums, and historic sites will need to close, disrupting tourism and for surrounding businesses. At some parks during the holidays, there were as many rangers and other support staff furloughed. While trash piled up, toilets overflowed, and facilities were vandalized. FDA routine screenings have been put on hold. The Federal Communications Commission is set to halt most of its operations as far as I know. The Indian land situation is about to get dire. Not to mention, the food stamp program is almost out of cash. The list goes on and on.

Sure federal employees will receive back pay, but only retroactively through a Congressional act after the government reopens. Yet, in the interim we must understand that their suffering will not influence Donald Trump to cave. Because Trump doesn’t care who gets hurt when it comes to getting what he wants. As of January 5, 2018, the GoFundMe website has 1,000 results for pages regarding the government shutdown. Most of the federal workers who’ve posted pages on the site ask for amounts ranging from $1000-$5000. While most pages have yet to receive any donations.

For the workers affected, those facing the greatest economic uncertainty are contractors who make up more than 40% of the government workforce. These not only comprise of white-collar workers, but also thousands of blue-collar jobs like janitors and security guards. Unlike the regular government employees, many contractors won’t be compensated for lost time. For these Americans, the shutdown’s effects can be potentially devastating even after the government reopens.

Apparently, Donald Trump’s supporters elected him because they saw him as a wily tycoon and deft dealmaker who could shake up Washington and bring decades of big-business knowhow to the Oval Office. In reality, Trump was never a peerless or even particularly skillful dealmaker. In fact, many of the most significant business transactions he engineered imploded. But because he was born into wealth, he could make his way in the world as a shameless self-promoter, a marketing confection, and billboard who frequently licensed his name on buildings others had paid for. In Trump’s professional life, his inept deal making often resulted in unmanageable debt and multiple bankruptcies. While his presidency has saw bungled, hapless efforts to overturn the Affordable Care Act, forge a nuke agreement with North Korea, wage trade wars with China, Mexico, and Canada, retain Republican control of the House, turn military and diplomatic strategy on its head, lay siege on any sensible immigration policy, and force a government shutdown to secure funding for a stupid border wall along the US-Mexico border.

Striking deals must have intimacy with the finer points of what every party wants out of a negotiation like realistic goals, maturity, patience, flexibility, and enough leverage so the other side can’t stall or walk away from the table. Of course, in his repeated efforts to build the wall to satisfy the white supremacists in his base, Donald Trump hasn’t met any of those perquisites. Nor has he addressed any of the real shortcomings or necessary enhancements of federal immigration policy. Obviously, Trump lacks the sophistication or interest to steep himself into policy details. So he already enters the immigration debate and deal making on his dumb wall at a distinct disadvantage. While Democrat and Republican politicians on Capitol Hill have immersed themselves in immigration discussions for years.

However, Donald Trump is perfectly willing to burn things down and ruin people’s lives just to get his own way. After all, look what he did in Atlantic City and tried to do to tenants at 100 Central Park South during the 1980s and 1990s. And he needlessly publicized himself as the shutdown’s author. Politicians in Washington DC should know that voters get sick of government shutdowns and don’t like those responsible for them. Of course, you can count on Trump trying to blame the Democrats for it or try to spin it as a positive thing once people get fed up with it. Still, if people know you as the guy who likes blowing things up, you’ll have a difficult time making deals. Besides, Trump had plenty of chances to avoid it and might’ve gotten the wall he wanted. In fact, one generous bipartisan Senate proposal offered $25 billion for a wall as long as the government opened a path to citizenship for 1.7 million young, undocumented immigrants in the US. Trump would’ve been wise to accept this deal. But no.

Good dealmakers prepare their teams to get the support they need to see the negotiation through. Donald Trump has overlooked the fact that more capable Republican dealmakers have initiated and guided his signature accomplishments of putting 2 conservative justices on the Supreme Court, pushing through an ill-advised tax overhaul nobody but Corporate America wanted, and passing criminal justice reform. On the other hand, building a wall has been Trump’s signature publicity stunt and has invoked fantasies to promote it like promising that Mexico would pay for it. Also, he’s become so emotionally invested in to the fruitless effort that he’s put himself at a strategic disadvantage. And Trump is now so consumed with appearing to win that he may not win at all. Left reeling and desperate, Trump has recently hinted that he may declare a national emergency on the southern border so he could simply appropriate the taxpayer funds he wants. This move may not even be legal and may compel Democrats to file a lawsuit to stop him regardless, and will likely further alienate some Republicans already fed up by his antics.

However, this is who Donald Trump is. All he cares about is fostering his own carnivalesque image. While has very little real interest in policy outcomes or other consequences unless they affect him personally. And he’s been there before. In 1988, he overpaid in a Plaza Hotel deal because he was so irrationally enamored by the property. He lost it in a bankruptcy a few years later. At the same time, he screwed up negotiations for another project that would’ve made him a transformative figure in New York real estate. Because Trump can’t exercise restraint, foresight, and financial discipline necessary to complete the deal. In 1996, he passed on a selling stake in one of his casinos that would’ve netted him $180 million and helped prop up his struggling Atlantic City operation because he didn’t want his name removed from the property. As you can see reading my blog post on Trump’s Atlantic City casino woes, countless people suffered from his actions. While he has still not learned his lesson and most likely never will.

But we must understand this isn’t a fight over border security. Despite Donald Trump’s wild claims, there’s no flood of savage foreigners pouring across the border. Even so, reasonable Democrats and Republicans recognize the need for bigger staff, better technology, and better fencing. Not to mention, both sides acknowledge the need for a sensible and more humane immigration and asylum policies. Even for competent administration, achieving all of this has proven to be a tall order. But already, Congress has already been allocating more money for border security. Despite that the Trump administration has spent less than 10% of what Congress had allocated this past year. Thus, to avoid the complex hard work that has traditionally gone with his job, Trump has instead created a political impasse over a symbol, a wall. Acting White House Chief of Staff Mick Mulvaney derided this wall as “an easy thing to sell politically” that “doesn’t really solve the problem.” While former White House Chief of Staff John Kelly told the Los Angeles Times that the administration had long ago abandoned the idea of a concrete wall as irrelevant to border security’s real needs.

Not that Donald Trump seems much interested in either the public will or the public good. Because Trump never has. For him, this shutdown is a self-declared point of pride like a gaudy display of his boldness, his manliness, and his political steadfastness. But in reality, it reveals his selfishness and his apathy. Nonetheless, this political charade is mostly about Donald Trump taking it out on everyone over not getting his own way. So he’s making it miserable for everyone and doesn’t care who gets hurt. Is making all these people go without pay worth it? For God’s sake, no way in hell. These people have work for the benefit of the people each and every day. They deserve better than be furloughed or work without pay over a budget dispute on a stupid wall that our country doesn’t even need. Many of these workers have suffered already with making rent, paying bills, or getting groceries. As of now federal workers and contractors reckon with the possibility that the shutdown will drag on for months, leaving them with no steady income to pay mounting bills. Even for regular non-contract employees who’ll eventually receive back pay after the shutdown is over, the grinding anxiety and financial costs of scraping by in the meantime will mount with each passing day. Many of these workers live paycheck to paycheck, with very little wiggle room. Some of their creditors are more understanding than others. But even one missed payment can carry heavy consequences.

Touchdown with These Super Bowl Sunday Party Treats (Fifth Edition)

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Now that we’re in January, it’s NFL playoff season. Of course, I probably not watch any games for 2 reasons. First, I’m not a big sports fan in any respect and mostly do my sports posts for up my viewership stats. Save for the fans and bad mascot stuff. Second, for the first time in a few years, the Pittsburgh Steelers failed to make the playoffs. So I have no reason to watch the Super Bowl anyway, unless it involves a famous musical artist performing the halftime show. Nonetheless, it’s not unusual for people to hold parties during this time, even if your team isn’t playing. Because we all want to see the New England Patriots lose. Not to mention, the Super Bowl normally receives the highest TV ratings each year. While parties normally include food. The map above depicts the most popular Super Bowl party dish from each state. Anyway, for your reading pleasure, I give you another assortment of Super Bowl delights.

  1. Let the cheeses hut and hike in this dip.
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It’s basically gouda’s against each other in the field. Not sure how many layers the dip has.

2. For healthy options, may I suggest a football fruit tray?

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This mostly includes melon and strawberries. Though the stitching is made of cheese.

3. Perhaps you might prefer chocolate footballs on a stick.

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They seem like sandwiches. Though I can be wrong.

4. You’d be insane not to include buffalo chicken salad football sandwiches.

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Not sure what’s in buffalo chicken salad. Yet, they seem to go with the pumpernickel footballs quite nicely.

5. Any snackadium should have a dip tray in the center.

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Unless you’re planning a large party. I would advise against snackadiums. Mostly since they consist of so much food that might get wasted. Unless you plan to donate the leftovers to the food bank.

6. Any Cincinnati Bengals fan would go crazy over these cookies.

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Well, the Bengals have made the playoffs several times in recent years. Though I’m not sure if they’re in it this post-season. Since I don’t pay much attention to the team.

7. Twinkies and sandwiches make great stadium walls.

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This was for Super Bowl 48. This one had the Denver Broncos against the Seattle Seahawks. Seahawks won.

8. Then again, you might want a purple snackadium for a change.

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This one is made out of wood and painted purple. Yet, you can find whatever dessert that suits your desires.

9. Football brownies are an easy game day treat.

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Sure, they may be squares. But each of them has the football stitching in icing.

10. Speaking of brownies, try these football bites for size.

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They may be small. But they will pack the chocolatey punch if you put them in your mouth.

11. Philadelphia Eagles fans would adore these cookies.

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Well, they won the Super Bowl in 2018. Yet, it’s even better that they didn’t go to the White House since Donald Trump is president. Need I say more?

12. Spaghetti with footballs makes for an ideal Super Bowl dinner.

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Well, the footballs are meatballs. While it’s all served in a stadium football-shaped bowl.

13. Nothing makes a game day party like a New Orleans Saints cake.

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Even includes strawberries bearing each player’s number. While it contains a black fleur de lis on top.

14. This Super Bowl, serve your guests anything from this football veggie tray.

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The football is made of carrots with mushroom stitching. While it’s surrounded by broccoli.

15. Perhaps this Arizona Cardinal cake will suit you.

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This was made at a cake shop. Yet, it has the Cardinal logo in all its glory.

16. You’ll always score with some football cupcakes.

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The footballs are cookies. While there’s little grass where they touch.

17. Super Bowl watchers would enjoy some stadium and football cookies.

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The stadiums have sprinkles to symbolize the crowd. While the footballs have some, too.

18. A Raven cupcake should always have purple sprinkles.

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Looks like a character from Angry Birds. Yet, the bird seems like it was made by a fan of the Baltimore Ravens.

19. You can never have too many football cookies on a field cake.

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This one has a megaphone cookie as well. Also includes goal posts.

20. Love the San Francisco 49ers? Try these cookies.

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Even includes Colin Kaepernick’s jersey. Later he was kicked off the team for taking a knee during the national anthem and making white people go nuts for no good reason.

21. These football calzones will warm you up on a cold day.

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Seems to come with some sort of sauce you can dip in. Then again, these may be tarts.

22. Nothing makes a dessert platter like some football jello.

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Though I have to admit that brown jello is disgusting. The stitching is white icing.

23. Care for a burger cookie sandwich?

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They seem to have a chocolate filling but it doesn’t include cheese. Still, are those sesame seeds on top?

24. A stadium nacho platter should suit your game day needs.

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This one has a guacamole dip field. Yet, you’ll find plenty of turnip slices within the chips and cheese.

25. Feel free to take anything from this football snack tray.

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This one includes crackers, cheese, and pepperoni slices. All on a football shaped tray.

26. This football spinach artichoke is quite savory.

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It’s even made with bread shaped like a football. So you can dip that in.

27. Is that a pizza in a snackadium field?

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After all, pizza needs cheese to be considered pizza. Not sure if there’s any on here.

28. Perhaps you’d like football cake pops with nutter butter.

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Indeed, the seem misshapen on sticks. Yet, they sure seem tasty.

29. There’s nothing better for game day than football burgers.

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Each of these has cheese on top for stitching. Along with American cheese in the middle.

30. You’ll always score with field goal pizza.

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This one has a green pepper goal post and a red pepper football. Great for any Super Bowl Sunday.

31. Helmet bites make an ideal Super Bowl snack.

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Though they’re mostly in icing, cake, and pretzels. While the teams are nonspecific.

32. Here we find the Seahawks and Broncos duking it out on guacamole.

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The outside is even made out of hotdogs and burgers. Not sure what the shapes on the field are about.

33. Want a piece of football cake?

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Well, it’s covered in chocolate icing. But I hope it’s chocolate all the way through.

34. This field cake is covered in candy.

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This one has bite size candy bars as players and pretzels as goal posts. While M&Ms give the field color. Or are those Skittles?

35. Want some footballs on a stick?

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These might be cookies or brownies. But I’m not sure which.

36. Always include a guacamole field for game day appetizers.

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Has small cherry tomatoes represent the players. Also includes 2 plastic goal posts.

37. Celebrate the Super Bowl with these buffalo chicken potato skins.

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And apparently, these have guacamole stitching. While they’re covered in cheese.

38. Grace your Super Bowl dessert platter with some football peanut butter cookies.

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Each of them consists of a football in chocolate icing. While each are shaped like a football.

39. In this sandwich snackadium, it’s Patriots vs. Giants.

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Well, this one seems to have an array of healthier options. But you’re hoping the Giants will beat the Pats in this one.

40. Now even your dog can enjoy some Super Bowl goodies.

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The bone treats all of have stitching on them for footballs. And so do the round treats, too.

41. Don’t know who’s going to be in the Super Bowl? Try these cookies.

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Well, at least it leaves it out in the open. Though I bet the teams that will play aren’t yours.

42. In this snackadium, you can make your own sandwich.

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You see some ham and cheeses outside the field. While the stands are filled with crackers, trail mix, and nachos.

43. Sandwiches are all stacked in this snackadium.

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Indeed, you can see all kinds of snacks in the stands. While someone’s about to score a touch down.

44. Perhaps a bean football in a guacamole field would suit your fancy.

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It’s a layered dip if you can see. So feel free to dip your nachos all you want.

45. Grace your Super Bowl dessert platter with this field cake.

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This one has a football in the center. Not sure what’s supposed to be the grass.

46. This dessert stadium will give you any treat you want.

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You’ll have plenty of cookies and fruit inside. Outside is made from twinkies and Rice Krispie treats.

47. Perhaps an onigiri football will suit your fancy.

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This is a Japanese dish. Contains turkey and avocado.

48. Nutella football truffles make an ideal Super Bowl snack.

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Indeed, truffle and footballs don’t always go together. Yet, these are guaranteed to please.

49. Feast your eyes this Super Bowl Sunday on this buffalo chicken pizza.

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Seems oddly fitting for Super Bowl Sunday. Since a major food is buffalo wings.

50. Care for some wings?

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Well, they actually have chocolate and cookie dough. So they’re more suited for dessert.

51. Perhaps these field brownies would suit you.

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They’re covered in green icing and white lines. While they have paper footballs on top with sticks.

52. I’m sure this cake will show the play.

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You can see bite size bars representing the players. While the long bars represent the benches.

53. Celebrate the Super Bowl with some football hotdogs.

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Each of the buns is shaped like a football. Though you might have a stitching preference for ketchup or mustard.

54. A football cheeseball sits at the snack trays center.

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This one has bacon stitching. But care to dip some crackers?

55. Hope you have an appetite for these football cookies.

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These are chocolate covered Oreos with icing stitching. Though they resemble brown baseballs.

56. Celebrate the Pittsburgh Steel with this Steelers field cake.

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Has the Steeler logo at the center. Unfortunately, they won’t be in the playoffs this post-season.

57. Nothing makes a Super Bowl dessert platter like this field cookie cake.

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You see a lot of candy on it. While the field is covered with icing and sprinkles.

58. Anyone would love a piece of these field cupcakes.

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The edges are covered in sprinkles. While the rest sport green icing.

59. This football bomb has a lot to pack in.

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It has a lot of stuff inside like cheese and chicken. Still, I hope it’s tasty.

60. These football ice cream sandwiches make for a tasty dessert.

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Consists of ice cream placed between 2 brownies. While the top has icing for stitching.

61. Feel free to take one of these almond joy footballs.

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Almond Joys contain almonds and coconuts. While these are shaped like footballs.

62. Don’t forget to include some football empanadas.

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It’s a kind of dish from South America. Seems like a cross between a burrito and a calzone.

63. You can make a simple snackadium with cans.

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This one seems doable. Just has a dip tray and a few bins for snacks and sauces.

64. Anyone in Seattle would love these Seahawks brownies.

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This one has layers of brownie, cookie dough, Oreo, and fudge. Has M&Ms and sprinkles on top.

65. These football potato skins are covered in cheese.

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This one includes bacon and celery as well. Perfect for any game day appetizer tray.

66. Always hut, hut, and bite these Reese’s footballs.

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These may contain Reese’s cups inside. While the stitching consists of white icing.

67. Try taking a bite from these Denver Broncos cake pops.

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Some have orange sprinkles. Others are covered in blue drizzle.

68. You’ll find plenty of footballs in some Denver Broncos popcorn.

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This one has blue and orange drizzle all over it. Not sure what the footballs are made of.

69. Care for a slice of Seahawks pizza?

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This one seems made from Papa John’s. But it sports the iconic Seahawks logo nonetheless.

70. You can make a compelling stadium with Chex Mix.

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Indeed, it’s another snackadium. Like the popcorn goal posts.

NCAA Championship Worthy College Sports Treats (Third Edition)

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Now that Christmas is over and the new year has begun, NCAA Division I college football stages their national championships. Of course, you have a lot of college teams playing each other in bowl games that really don’t mean a thing. Seriously, why can’t they just have a playoff with each conference champ? That makes perfect sense. Because I don’t understand why the NCAA Div. I has the championship system for football. Anyway, it’s not unusual for fans to have their little parties and bring some treats. So for your reading pleasure, I give you another assortment of treats relating to NCAA Division I sports.

  1. UNC sugar cookies are almost impossible to resist at Chapel Hill.
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Some of them consist of feet. Since their mascot is the Tarheel. Get it?

2. Perhaps Georgia Bulldog fans want some of these cupcakes.

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These have footballs and the school logos on them. While the icing is in red and black.

3. No Longhorn party should be without this stadium cake.

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This is for the Texas Longhorns. And I suppose the stands must be made from graham crackers.

4. A Michigan cake should always have a sugar M.

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This one had to use a stencil. But you get the Wolverine impression.

5. If you want a more sophisticated cake, this Texas A&M one may be exactly what you ordered.

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This one has the Texas A&M seal on it. While it’s surrounded by chocolate covered strawberries.

6. Florida State fans would enjoy these Seminole cookies.

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You can see it includes footballs along as 2 Floridas that resemble boomerangs. And all in yellow and red.

7. With these cookies, you will be a hit in Buckeye nation.

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Unlike most Division I college teams, Ohio State actually has a shot at the championship. Though their mascot is the stuff of nightmares.

8. Can I interest any Mountaineer in this WVU cake?

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This one is 2 tiers with a WVU helmet on top. Includes chocolate covered strawberry footballs.

9. Gators fan would take a bite out of these Florida cupcakes.

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Some of these have the F on the logo. Others have a gator. All look delicious and professionally made.

10. On a cold day, take a cup of hot chocolate from Michigan State.

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It’s a Spartan cup above the rest. Though I’m not sure how this image shows up on the cup.

11. It’s always Buckeye season with this Ohio State cake.

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This one has a red “O” with a buckeye bough. Because Ohio is the Buckeye State.

12. Tiger fans will devour these LSU cookies.

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I guess these were made for a tailgate party at Baton Rouge. Yet, all are iced in purple and yellow glory.

13. I’m sure these Ohio State cookies will go well with a Ohio State cake.

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These seem rather home made. While the “O”‘s are white.

14. Anyone from Oregon State will enjoy this beaver cake.

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You have to wonder why Oregon State has a beaver mascot, given how it’s a euphemism for lady parts. Sure beavers are tough animals. But a beaver mascot is about as ridiculous as a duck.

15. Perhaps I can interest Oregon fans with these cupcakes.

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These have “O”‘s on the icing. Perfect for Oregon Duck games.

16. You’ll score a field goal with this Ohio State cake.

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This one has 2 tiers with a goal post on top. The bottom one has gray and red diamonds. The top one has stripes.

17. A LSU stadium cake is perfect for a Tiger game day.

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This one seems quite detailed. Even includes stadium lights. So it’s really expensive.

18. It’s always hats off to Michigan.

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This is a Michigan hat cake. While it’s on top a football field without numbers.

19. Take your pick of these Ohio State cakes.

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You have buckeyes, O’s, Brutus Buckeyes, and stripes. And each with icing on top.

20. Wolverine fans will gobble up these Michigan cupcakes.

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All are topped with yellow icing and an M. And yes, they’re professionally made.

21. Louisville fans would crave for a cake like this.

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This one depicts an angry cardinal, too. But lucky for Louisville, March Madness is a couple months away.

22. A Bulldogs fan could only wish for a cake like this during football season.

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This just consists of a football with the Georgia logo on it. Perfect for tailgate occasions.

23. Those with bearcat pride would love this cake from Cincinnati.

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This one even has the Bearcat mascot on top. Yet, it doesn’t give me a favorable impression.

24. Mizzou fans might want a slice of this field cake.

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This one even has numbers on it. While the black and yellow logo roars at the 50.

25. Apparently, someone TP’ed this Auburn cake.

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Guess this must be a tradition at the school. Also shows a large orange tree with roots.

26. Hungry Mountaineers can’t resist these WVU cookies.

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I’m sure these were made for football season. Includes the WVU helmets.

27. Bulldog fans will relish in these Georgia cookies.

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Includes paw prints. While red square cookies state “Go Dawgs.”

28. These Michigan football cookies will have you ready for the season.

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Each of these is a football with an M. Some have a blue one. Some have a yellow one.

29. Georgia bites make an ideal game day snack.

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All of these are covered in icing. Some are helmets. While some are footballs.

30. Nittany Lion fans would water at these Penn State cookies.

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These seem to be chocolate from what I can tell. Though each has a degree of blue and white icing.

31. A TP’ed tree belongs on top of an Auburn cake.

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Oh, yes, the TP’ed tree must be an Auburn tradition. Still, this one has 3 tiers with the middle in tiger stripes.

32. Strawberries always belong on a cake from Texas Tech.

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While all these strawberries are covered in chocolate. While the bottom tier has chocolate diamonds.

33. Support your Florida State Seminoles with this cake.

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This one has the Seminoles logo on it. While spears are on the edges.

34. You’ll find plenty of Buckeye nuts on this cake.

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This is for Ohio State naturally. And the nuts are on 3 tiers.

35. Indiana fans will bask in this Hoosiers cake.

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This one is for basketball season. Though we don’t think of Indiana U basketball when Hoosiers and b-ball are in the same sentence.

36. If you’re a Texan who loves the Bears, then these cookies are for you.

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These are from Baylor by the way. Each with degrees of green and yellow icing.

37. You have to be nuts to ignore these Ohio State cupcakes.

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These have a red “O” and a Buckeye branch on it. All on top of white icing.

38. You can always roll tied with these Alabama cookies.

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Funny, that I didn’t have any Alabama treats in this post yet. Even includes elephant cookies despite that Crimson Tide is algae.

39. Michigan fans can feast on this stadium cake.

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For some reason, there’s a trend in stadium cakes. This one is for the Wolverines.

40. Perhaps you’d want a bite out of these Ohio State cupcakes.

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These form the “O” in Ohio State. While some may have Buckeyes on it.

41. You probably don’t want to save this Gator cake for later.

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This one has a gator below the water. So Florida fans would rejoice.

42. A Michigan helmet cake will always impress.

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Not sure if this was a cake project or professionally made. Still, it’s kind of amazing.

43. Some of these WVU cakes are striped.

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Some have the WVU logo in icing. Some have footballs on top of stripes.

44. A Florida Gator is always on top for football.

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This one has a gator standing up to throw the football in a pass. Only in Florida.

45. Any Arkansas State fan would gawk at this Red Wolf cake.

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Even has a red wolf on top of a football field pattern tier. Yet, this cake is supposed to be for a 6-year-old boy.

46. For big parties, this Ohio State field cake will suit you nicely.

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This one has the logo on the field. Even has footballs on the edges.

47. Any Michigan clarinetist would adore this cake.

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The band hat is on top of a snare drum tier. While the clarinet is beside it.

48. You can’t spell “love” without Villanova.

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Villanova is always mentioned as a March Madness contender. It’s also a Catholic college located in Philadelphia.

49. These cupcakes go blue for Michigan.

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These have blue tops over yellow icing. But only some of them have an M.

50. Baylor fans would have a beary good time with these cookies.

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These have bears and the Baylor logo. Some even depict claws.

51. Any Buckeye fan would want this Brutus Buckeye cake.

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This one is from a shop. Yet, I have to admit Ohio State’s mascot is utterly creepy.

52. No Hoosier fan would say no to these Indiana cookies.

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Funny, how the logo appears to resemble a fork. Professionally made in red and white icing.

53. Apparently, this WVU cake has candles on it.

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Though I think the candles are fake, especially the flames. Like the tier patterns though.

54. You’ll find some bones among these Georgia cookies.

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Some of the cookies have sticks. While some consists of bones and jerseys.

55. Penn Staters will relish in these paw print cookies.

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These are in a cookie cutter circle shape in white and blue icing. Perfect for tailgating at State College.

56. Aggie fans would delight with these cookies from Texas A&M.

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Guess these are all associated with Texas A&M. And yes, they’re meant for a birthday.

57. Wolverines might want to try some Michigan jello.

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Each of these is a yellow square with a blue M block on it. The football and goal post are just decoration.

58. You can put a large ring on this Texas A&M cake.

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The ring is gold and sits on 2 tiers. While it’s meant to celebrate someone’s graduation.

59. A Cavalier would die for this cake.

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This denotes the University of Virginia, which Thomas Jefferson founded. And it’s in Charlottesville.

60. A Bulldog cake is perfect for any Georgia fan.

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This one has a spiked collar. Though the spikes are made from white icing.

61. Any Nittany Lion baseball fans here?

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Though college baseball doesn’t get a lot of publicity due to the end of the school year stuff. Still, at least they didn’t have a bat cake since that would look really terrible.

62. Nothing makes an ideal game dish like Michigan pasta salad.

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This one consists of Michigan noodles and corn. Because corn is yellow.

63. If you’re from Central Florida, you might want this cake.

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This one has a football on top. While the top tier is decorated as a field.

64. Perhaps an Arizona cake will suit any Coyotes fan.

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This one has red and white stripes on with the Arizona logo. While it’s trimmed with red candies.

65. Arkansas fans will go hog wild with this Razorback cake.

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Well, hogs can be quite vicious animals you don’t want to run into. And look at those gnashing teeth.

66. Any Hokie would want to taste these Virginia Tech mini cupcakes.

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These are chocolate with VT on dark red and orange icing. Bet they’re delicious.

67. Any Auburn Tiger would put for this Aubie cake.

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Apparently, Auburn has a golf team. And yet, Aubie wears a football jersey.

68. These pretzel pawprints make a quality Nittany Lion snack.

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These consist of waffle pretzels, white icing, and blue M&Ms. Easy to make for any game.

69. Salute your Wolverines with this Michigan blueberry pie.

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This one has an M and “Go Blue” on the crust. Want a slice?

70. You always need raspberries for an Indiana pie.

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I’m sure the pie is cream and made with a store crust. Still, I don’t think Hoosiers would complain.