The Wonderful World of Architecture (Third Edition)

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If you live in the Eastern United States like me, chances are that you’re cooped up in your home due to an epic blizzard. So that probably leaves you with not much to do this weekend as far as you know it. Of course, that leaves me with some time to come up with something quick. And I have just the thing another post on architecture. You’re probably familiar with how some of the great architectural wonders are celebrated. You’ve probably seen pictures of the Pyramids, the Taj Mahal, the US Capitol, Saint Peter’s, the Parthenon, and more. I myself had been to Mount Vernon and Monticello, homes of Presidents George Washington and Thomas Jefferson. And both are architectural wonders in their own right. Nevertheless, I can talk to you all you want about the world’s great architectural wonders but you’ll probably be bored to tears since you’re most likely already familiar with them. So instead, I’ll give you a showcase of some of the world’s architectural blunders, which are structures that have achieved fame for being incredibly hideous and for polluting the landscape with their terrible aesthetics. You’ll find plenty of examples relating to modern architecture, particularly in Asian and Middle Eastern countries as well as the former Soviet Union. Latin America and Oceania aren’t very far behind either. So without further adieu, I bring you another treasure trove of great architectural blunders.

  1. I guess this must be a skyscraper straight out of Dr. Seuss or Jules Verne.
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This is called the Hundertwasser Turm which is in Germany. I think it might be an apartment building. Nevertheless, wouldn’t be surprised if it resembles Captain Nemo’s home on land.

2. Guess the aliens have a place to refuel their spacecraft after all.

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This is a gas station, by the way. But it’s in Slovakia. Either way, the architecture on this is totally out of this world.

3. So I guess this must be Nintendo headquarters.

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Yes, this is building is in Japan. However, it’s an apartment building with reversible pods. But yes, it does seem like something you’d see in a Nintendo video game.

4. No, I don’t think that’s where Lex Luthor has his corporate headquarters. Though I could be mistaken.

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This is the bank of China building. It’s in Hong Kong. Nevertheless, it seems to draw inspiration from the architectural styles of Metropolis and Mordor.

5. Behold, I feast my eyes on the world’s largest shampoo bottle.

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It’s one of Nagoya’s Mode-Gauken Spiral Towers which are in Japan. They’re home to 3 vocational schools. However, I tend to find a building hard to take seriously since it resembles a large bottle of expensive shampoo.

6. Guess we have to dig under all that wrapping paper to save this building.

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Wait, it’s supposed to look like that? Yes, this is another disasterpiece eyesore designed by Frank Gehry. It’s called El Hotel Marques de Riscal which is in Spain. But it seems like the place where a giant disposed his wrapping paper.

7. Looks like we found ourselves amongst a gigantic loudspeaker.

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This is the building for the Mauritius Commercial Bank. It’s in the nation of Mauritius which is an island in the Indian Ocean and former home of the Dodo. Still, you’d expect this building to ask whether you’d want fries with your burger.

8. Seems like this building has fallen over like a row of dominoes.

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This is called the Polaria which is in Tromso, Norway. It’s the northernmost aquarium in the world. No, there’s nothing wrong with the building. It was constructed that way.

9. In Cameroon, you’re bound to see a monument of a gigantic screwdriver.

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It’s called the Monument of Reunification. But to some people, it might resemble, a curling snake, a turd, or the end of a screw driver.

10. In Japan, they call this the Mode Gakuen Cocoon Tower in Tokyo.

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It’s called that because many people think it resembles a cocoon. However, to me, it resembles a female body part that I may not be able to mention in front of a G-rated audience.

11. If Cinderizilla fits into this glass slipper, does this mean she gets to marry her Tyrannosaurus Rex?

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This is a church in Taiwan. Apparently they designed it like a shoe in hopes to attract more female worshippers. However, I’m sure it’s bound to attract a lot more female tourists.

12. Okay, what the hell is that thing and does it eat people?

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This the Tenerife Opera House in the Spanish Canary Islands. And no, it doesn’t seafaring humans for breakfast. You’re thinking about a different sea monster.

13. Okay, what’s this? Some upscale restaurant in Mos Eisley or Jabba the Hutt’s vacation home?

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This is called Le Corbusier’s Cité Radieuse. I think it’s supposed to be a house in France. Nevertheless, I think this kind of modern architecture seems to come straight from Tatooine.

14. In Dubai, it seems that the aliens have not built their own skyscraper.

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This is called the Rose Tower Hotel in Dubai, UAE. It’s supposed to be the tallest hotel in the world. But it sure ain’t the prettiest.

15. This building is called the Swan Bell Tower in Perth, Australia.

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Okay, it’s a tower. But it looks nothing like a swan or a bell. In fact, I think a more appropriate name would be, “The Bobkin Tower” since it resembles the kind of instrument people used to stab accused witches with.

16. It’s only a matter of time until it’s all set for liftoff.

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As my first specimen on Soviet architecture for this post, I bring you the Ostankino Tower in Moscow, erected in 1967. It’s the tallest freestanding structure in Europe. It’s a TV and Radio tower.

17. Don’t look now but I think these cars are about to be swallowed up by a concrete tornado.

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I’m sure the cars are safe. This is the Midrand Water Tower in South Africa. Not sure why it’s constructed like some concrete tornado or a spacecraft.

18. So I guess these are accommodations for Imperial Stormtroopers.

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This is the Balfron Tower, which was designed by the architect Erno Goldfinger who inspired the most famous Bond villain. Not surprisingly, Ian Fleming hated his guts.

19. So I guess this building has a giant black monster sitting on it.

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My mistake, that’s the Pablo Serrano museum in Zaragoza, Spain. Still, I don’t know about you, but I’m increasingly worried about where Spain’s architecture is heading these days.

20. Seems like the apartment buildings in Whoville are getting weirder and weirder these days.

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Oh, wait, this one is in Tel Aviv. It might be a hotel or residence, many aren’t exactly sure. Still, from how I look at it, walking up its stairs must be a real pain in the neck.

21. Seems like this building is infested with fungus.

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Wait a minute those are balconies? It’s in Grenoble, France. Still, I think this building would be way better off if those balconies were removed.

22. Wonder which sci-fi villain owns this building.

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This is the Hotel President that’s in the Ivory Coast. It’s marketed as a luxury resort. But certainly doesn’t look like one. More like something from the Soviet Union.

23. Oh, no, someone’s blown up a building!

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Okay, this wasn’t bombed by terrorists. But it was designed by Frank Gehry. Not sure what’s worse or why the guy thought it was a good idea.

24. Now that’s a very bendy lighthouse.

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Not sure what this building is supposed to be. But if it’s a lighthouse, then it’s a rather ugly one at that.

25. Guess this place is a vacation home for a more rustic sci-fi villain.

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This is a vineyard building in La Guardia Spain. It’s called Bodegas Ysios. Kind of reminds me of a church and some Bond villain residence.

26. I think I found a place to land a spaceship.

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This is called the Namaste Hotel in India. But it resembles a spaceship coming from the ground nose up. And the crazy pattern just doesn’t help matters.

27. If Kylo Ren had a yacht, I think it would look like this.

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Of course, it would be smaller than this. But hey, it’s just aesthetics. Still, this is a museum in Milwaukee. Not sure why some museums don’t seem to have great architectural taste.

28. Sometimes the design of a structure makes you wonder how people get through it.

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This building is called the Atomium. It’s in Brussels. It was built during the 1950s. Still, not sure how you navigate this thing inside.

29. Abandoned jewelry store, or a Mos Eisley cantina al fresco?

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It’s actually a brutalistic water tower in France. So unlike some of the other buildings here, it has a better excuse to be ugly. After all, water towers are supposed to fire for function, not effect.

30. Now this building gives “Pottery Barn” a whole new meaning.

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Sorry, but this isn’t a Pottery Barn. It’s an art museum in the American West, I think. So the only place you can buy stuff is probably the souvenir shop.

31. For all you die hard Star Trek fans out there, I finally got a picture of Starfleet headquarters.

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Sorry, Trekkies. Buildut this is the chapel for the United States Air Force. My mistake. Please forgive me.

32. This building in Doha, Qatar is known as the Tornado Tower.

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More like the “Finger Trap Tower” in my book. Seriously, does anyone in Qatar know what a tornado looks like? This isn’t it.

33. If President Snow had a vacation home, I bet it would resemble this.

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Well, if President Snow’s vacation home would be in a poorer district with a lovely terrain. Perhaps Districts 6-8? Nevertheless, I think this might be a library in Germany.

34. Behold, I give you the world’s largest clam.

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This is called the City of Arts and Sciences. According to Pinterest, it “is a unique complex devoted to scientific and cultural dissemination, including an interactive science museum, aquarium, planetarium, IMAX cinema and performing arts center.”

35. Wonder how many seconds to blastoff this rocket is.

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It’s a building in Japan. Not sure what it’s for. However, the design isn’t that bad. The color on the other hand…

36. When it comes to new additions, sometimes it doesn’t always work.

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Of course, this building in Britain would’ve turned much better if they had stuck with the original style. Don’t know what this building is used for. Jailing Bond villains?

37. I bet the inspiration for this building was the head of a Soviet style safety razor.

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Wait a minute, I don’t think this is a Soviet building. I think the words on this are written in English. Still, It’s a terribly eyesore of the brutalist structure. And it resembles a razor head.

38. Sometimes a church doesn’t always look very immaculate.

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This seems to be the combination of a church and a 1950s diner. Doesn’t work well from an architectural aesthetic standpoint.

39. Let me guess, this building must be used to produce military weapons of some sort.

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Oh, wait, it’s the Nanohana-Kan Senior Center which is in Japan. Still, I don’t think a building design inspired by the Hindenburg disaster is a welcome place for old people. But that’s just me.

40. I call these buildings the plastic kettles from IKEA.

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These are buildings from Sheffield Hallam University in Sheffield, UK. But to me, they resemble the ugliest kettles you’d get from IKEA. Well, if they carry them.

41. If we add triangles on the roofs, this building will look much prettier.

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Sorry, but all I think the triangles will do for this building is make it look so silly that it’ll be the laughingstock of the block. Yeah, that looks pretty stupid.

42. If Salvador Dali made a living designing prisons, they would look like this.

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This is the Guggenheim Museum in Bilbao, Spain, which features modern art. It was designed by Frank Gehry. Nevertheless, it makes Alcatraz seem like a sunny place.

43. Guess this what a beehive looks when a beekeeper smokes some bees with cannabis.

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This is an art museum in Mexico. You think they’d design a place that doesn’t resemble a weird golden stump. But you were wrong.

44. I guess this is a temple dedicated to the all great and powerful Zod.

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This was the Slovakia Radio Tower. It was built during the Soviet era and took 16 years to build since it’s upside down. But yeah, it resembles a sci-fi temple all right.

45. When it comes to windows, portholes are always the right choice.

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Well, if those portholes are on a boat. If they’re on buildings, that’s just stupid. Nevertheless, this is the Hotel Topazz in Vienna.

46. If Kylo Ren built a shrine to Darth Vader, it would probably look like this.

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This is called the Russian State Scientific Center for Robotics and Technical Cybernetics. It’s in Saint Petersburg, And yes, it’s looks pretty evil all right and built during the Soviet era.

47. If you saw a building like this, you have to wonder whether the Soviets had an equivalent to Lincoln Logs.

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During the Soviet Era, this was the building for the Ministry of Highways. Today, it’s a commercial bank in Georgia. Yet, it almost seems photoshopped. It’s not.

48. Paper bags are certainly useful. However, it’s potential for artistic inspiration isn’t one of them.

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This is another Gehry disasterpiece. It’s a business school in Sydney, Australia. A woman from The Sydney Herald calls him the Kim Kardashian of contemporary architecture, all curves, no content. She has a point.

49. Oh, no, it’s a robotic space monster! Everyone, run for your lives!

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My mistake, it’s the Linda Haiyu Plaza in Beijing, China. It’s said to resemble a fish. However, I think it looks like a large, maneating, robotic caterpillar.

50. Behold, I give you the world’s largest sinking donut.

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This is the Sheraton Hotel in Huzhou, China. It’s said to be based on the city’s ancient bridges. But I think the inspiration was something the architect ate at Dunkin’ Donuts.

51. I guess they call this place “The Island of the Spotted Shampoo Bottles.”

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These are hotels at Phoenix Island. It’s a luxury resort area in Sanya, China. Nevertheless, these skyscrapers are just hideous.

52. If you like buildings that resemble presents in ugly wrapping paper, then this one is for you.

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This is the Birmingham Library in the UK. Yes, it resembles some of the tackiest wrapping paper. But at least it has the books inside going for it.

53. I guess this is supposed to be a recreation center for the Galactic Empire.

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My mistake, this is the National Royal Theater in London. You’d think Britain would go for a more respectable looking theatrical venue design. But not during the 1970s.

54. This is called Mirador Building in Madrid, possibly inspired by Lego.

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From The Richest: “Whoever designed this seriously needs to reconsider their career path and whoever commissioned this design must have been briefly out of their minds! Did the team behind this have kids and just watched those kids play Lego? It appears to have been thrown together at the last minute to poke fun at the Spanish capital’s sky line.”

55. So I guess this must be the Galactic Empire’s maximum security prison.

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Oh, wait, this is Trump Place in New York City. Commissioned and funded by Mr. Orange Cotton Candy Hair himself. Nevertheless, this is one building I wouldn’t mind birds using as a toilet.

56. Surrealist prison or sci-fi villain office space?

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This is the Cooper Union building in New York City. It’s an engineering school. Nevertheless, it’s said to be one of the city’s ugliest and it shows. Style would’ve worked better for a prison.

57. Oh, great, an oil refinery. What could be interesting about that?

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Okay, this is just the University Hospital in Aachen, Germany. It’s the largest hospital in Europe that just happens to look like an oil refinery. Nevertheless, the exterior views can’t be good for the patients.

58. I guess the inspiration for this German building came from inside a car.

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This is the Bierpinsel in Berlin, Germany. It’s a restaurant and nightclub that was built in the 1970s and even had a disco. Nowadays, people put graffiti on it that doesn’t help its appearance.

59. Sometimes what looks good in Lego doesn’t hold up in real life.

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This is the Edward R. Roybal Learning Center in Los Angeles. It’s the most expensive American school ever built at $377 million. Said to take 20 years to construct. Not sure if it’s worth it.

60. When it comes to vintage patterns, there’s a reason why some of them become real eyesores.

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This is the Kaden Tower of Louisville, Kentucky. It was built in 1966. Nevertheless, it would’ve looked better without the fancy windows. That’s just tacky.

61. Apparently, someone took, “upon this rock, I will build my church,” a bit too literally.

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From Oddee: “Built between 1968 and 1973 this building, The Pilgrimage Church in Neviges, Germany, made designer Gottfried Bohm a household name and the eyesore was considered his most important work, makes you wonder what the rest of his stuff looks like. “

62. When it comes to vacation homes, this would be perfect for Darth Vader.

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This is the Mustafa Kanat Camii in Turkey. It’s called the Darth Vader mosque for obvious reasons. Said to be kitschy that it’s almost cute.

63. Sometimes luxurious hotels don’t always add glitz and glamour in some people’s minds.

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This is the Ritz Carlton in Istanbul. Yes, it’s rather phallic looking and completely out of sync with its surroundings. For many this is considered the city’s ugliest building since it can’t be avoided from view.

64. I guess this is a space age weapons facility by the looks of it.

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My bad, it’s actually the Nord Bank in Hannover, Germany. Nevertheless, why Germany seems to have so many ugly buildings these days, I have no idea.

65. Sometimes bright colors make a building look better. Sometimes worse.

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This is a movie park in Wuhan in China. Nevertheless, it seems like a place where you’d find the minions of Despicable Me hanging out.

66. Run down greenhouse or high class slum?

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It’s actually called Pimlico Academy which is in London. It was built in 1970. Still, the first thing I’d do to this building is give it a paint job.

67. I guess this is minion headquarters.

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My mistake, it’s the Hardenburg Town Hall in the Netherlands. Said to be the ugliest building in the country. And they’re not kidding.

68. Seems like this building has leaves of many different colors.

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This is Motison Tower. It’s a shopping mall in India. Kind of tacky but whatever is on the roof is bound to get people’s attentions.

69. Oh, shit, I think I just discovered the pink Monticello. And it’s hideous.

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This is the Nehru building in India which is used as a government office. Nevertheless, I think Nehru deserved better than having a building named after him that’s a Monticello of Pepto Bismol pink.

70. Let me guess, another ugly church, right?

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My mistake, it’s Hong Kong’s Cultural Center. Yes, it looks as if it’s made from cardboard boxes. But that’s beside the point.

71. From how I see it, this could be a Vegas hotel, Vegas casino, or a Vegas shopping mall.

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Sorry, but it’s really the Central Library of Hong Kong. It’s a mishmash of Post-Modern and Neoclassical styles. Or styles that should never be embodied in the same building ever.

72. I guess this is where the aliens dock and unload.

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This is the MAC Niteroi which was built in the 1990s. Its a contemporary art museum in Rio de Janeiro. Makes me disappointed that you don’t see little green men coming out of it.

73. Oh, goodie, I think I just stumbled on NSA headquarters.

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Oh, wait the NSA building in Washington doesn’t look like that. This is the PMTC Building which is in Fairfax, New Zealand. It’s a medical building to my surprise.

74. Oh, look, a cruise ship. Oh, wait a minute…

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This is actually the Sun Cruise Resort in South Korea. The cruise ship is really a hotel. But on the bright side, no chance of seasickness or sinking.

75. Behold, mortals will be vaporized by this building’s massive, unstoppable, death ray.

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Okay this is the Australian Parliament building in Canberra. Nevertheless, it can also look as if the building is being grabbed by a large divine claw machine.

76. Man, I didn’t know that Kylo Ren has such a luxurious vacation palace.

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Oh, wait this is Nicolae Ceaușescu’s People’s Palace in Romania. He was Romania’s mad totalitarian dictator who led one of the most brutal and repressive regimes of the Eastern Bloc. He basically starved his people who had to violently remove him. Luckily he was shot by firing squad.

77. Because artistic inspiration has to consist of a bunch of blocks inside a ball of chicken wire.

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This is the Daejeon Museum of Art in South Korea. Yes, it kind of resembles tumbleweed and a mangled fence. But I didn’t design the thing.

78. Okay, what did I say? No pictures of junkyards. This is a bunch of pipes lying around.

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Okay, this is actually the Hefei Art Museum in China. Yes, I know it looks like a bunch of pipes piled together. But you’d be wrong.

79. Ladies and gentlemen, I give you Fountain Pen Tower.

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This is the Aspire Tower in Doha, Qatar. But at night it lights up and resembles some modern looking fountain pen. Too bad it doesn’t have ink.

80. Is this a skyscraper pyramid or a gigantic vacuum?

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This is the Vitra Design Museum in Dakar, Senegal. Seems like one of those sci-fi villain lairs. Particularly the place Mr. Evil Overlord goes when his wife kicks him out of their palace.

In These Haunted United States – Part 5: South Dakota to Wyoming

So we’ve come to the end. Hope you had a good time reading these as I have had writing them. Now throughout the series, we’ve seen haunted houses, haunted hotels, hallowed battlefields, paranormal prisons, creepy mental asylums, and what have you. Of course, some of you might go for the ghostly legends that might make it hard for you to sleep at night. But if you’re like me, you’re probably reading this series on haunted places as an excuse to read something about history at around Halloween. Yes, ghost stories are interesting and some people might really believe them. But while I’m a churchgoing Catholic with politically liberal views, I’m not a believer in the paranormal such as the ghost and monster stuff. I’m not much of a fan of horror movies either, especially the recent slasher ones advertised on TV that seem to suck. But I do love history and I do like talking about places that have some sort of interesting past, ghost stories or not. And I know that a place’s reputation for being haunted might somehow lead to someone wanting to preserve it to attract tourist. Well, unless there’s an Amityville Horror situation involved where the residents want nothing to do with the publicity. Still, in this post, I bring you my final installment of haunted American places. These consist of a hotel in South Dakota owned by a guy you might know from Deadwood, a plantation house in Tennessee owned by a famous country singer, a famous fortress in Texas, a liberal arts college in Utah, a large state university in Vermont, a very old plantation house in Virginia, a hotel in Washington state, a former state penitentiary in West Virginia, an abandoned mansion in Wisconsin, and a former state prison in Wyoming. So for your reading pleasure, here is my last post in my haunted America series.

41. South Dakota

The Bullock Hotel is the oldest one in Deadwood, South Dakota. However, what's even more interesting about it is the man who owned it and is said to still haunt the place. If you're a fan of Deadwood, you might know something about Captain Seth Bullock.

The Bullock Hotel is the oldest one in Deadwood, South Dakota. However, what’s even more interesting about it is the man who owned it and is said to still haunt the place. If you’re a fan of Deadwood, you might know something about Captain Seth Bullock.

Most Haunted Place: Bullock Hotel in Deadwood

History: Opened 1895 by Captain Seth Bullock and it’s the oldest hotel in the city, which he built from a converted warehouse. This after a fire swept Deadwood the previous year and destroyed much of the town and the original 2 story building. Bought by the Ayres family in 1976 who converted it to a hardware store. However, in 1991, was sold to Bullock Properties who restored and converted the place back to a hotel as much as modern safety standards would allow.

Present Use: It’s still a hotel but it only has 28 of its original 63 rooms. However, it also has a casino and restaurant named Bully’s after Bullock’s friend Teddy Roosevelt. Still, unlike the original structure each room has it’s own bathroom. More expensive rooms are said to contain a Jacuzzi.

Sightings: Well, many have reported hearing voices, seeing apparitions and orbs, and being tapped.

Anyone Famous?: Well, Captain Seth Bullock himself  who was known in life as a lawman, marshal, frontiersman, store owner, horse breeder, hotel owner, and investor. He was also a Rough Rider during the Spanish American War. He’s actually said to do most of the haunting according to guests, workers, and employees. He’s mostly amiable and acts like he owns the place but is said to shatter plates and glasses when he’s displeased. Still, he actually died there of colon cancer by the way. Nevertheless, he and his wife Martha are best known as characters from the HBO show Deadwood.

Open to Tourists?: Yes. So if you’re a fan of ghosts and Deadwood, this is your ideal Halloween destination. Also hold ghost tours regularly.

Other Haunts: Alex Johnson Hotel, Mount Marty College, Northern State University, Pine Ridge Old Hospital, Sioux San Hospital, 1880 Hill City Train, Firesteel Coal Mines, Mount Rushmore Brewing Company, Isabel Post Office, Old Keystone Cemetery, Jackpot Bingo Hall, Rock Creek Day School

42. Tennessee

Loretta Lynn still owns this house as well as the town of Hurricane Mills. However, it's still said to be haunted by the ghost of the previous owners as well as Confederate soldiers and slaves.

Loretta Lynn still owns this house as well as the town of Hurricane Mills. However, it’s still said to be haunted by the ghost of the previous owners as well as Confederate soldiers and slaves.

Most Haunted Place: Loretta Lynn Plantation House in Hurricane Mills

History: Built in 1876 by James Anderson who also built the new mill in town. In 1966, Loretta Lynn and her husband Doolittle fell in love with the place where they not just bought the plantation, but also the entire town. Apparently, despite that she swears there were ghosts there, Lynn doesn’t seem to mind so much.

Present Use: The plantation house is more of a museum than anything. Lynn now lives in the house she built behind it, realizing that it would be better used for tourism.

Sightings: It’s said to be haunted by the original owner, a woman in white, as well as ghosts of Confederate soldiers and slaves.

Anyone Famous?: No.

Open to Tourists?: Yes.

Other Haunts: Hurricane Mills itself, Bell Witch Cave, Carnton Mansion, Hales Bar Dam, Isaac Franklin Plantation, Gatlinburg Mysterious Mansion, Orpheum Theatre, Sheraton Read Hotel, Tennessee State Prison, Woodruff-Fontaine House, Chickamauga Battlefield, Stones River Battlefield, Ryman Auditorium, East Tennessee University, Tennessee State Capitol, Rotherwood Mansion

43. Texas

The Alamo is a symbol of Texas as well as the site of the famous battle fought there. However, I'm not sure if you'll find the ghosts of Davy Crockett, Jim Bowie, or William Travis. Didn't really look that up.

The Alamo is a symbol of Texas as well as the site of the famous battle fought there. However, I’m not sure if you’ll find the ghosts of Davy Crockett, Jim Bowie, or William Travis there. Didn’t really look that up.

Most Haunted Place: The Alamo in San Antonio

History: Built in 1744 as the Mission San Antonio de Valero which functioned as a Roman Catholic mission to convert and acculturate Native Americans. But in 1793, the mission was secularized and abandoned. A decade later, it became a military fortress with its unit giving the place its present name. During the Texas Revolution, Mexican General Martin Perfecto de Cos surrendered the fort to the Texian Army in December 1835, following the Siege of Bexar. A small number of Texian soldiers occupied the place for months but were soundly defeated at the Battle of the Alamo in March of 1836. When the Mexican Army retreated from Texas, they tore down many of the Alamo’s walls and burned some its buildings. For subsequent years, the Alamo buildings would be used as a fortress for soldiers, a quarter master’s depot, and even a wholesale grocery store. Thanks to the efforts of the Daughters of the Republic of Texas, particularly Adina Emilia de Zavala and Clara Driscoll, the place was restored.

Present Use: It’s now a UNESCO World Heritage Site, a National Park, and a symbol of Texas. Receives over 4 million visitors each year.

Sightings: Site is reportedly haunted by the people who died there defending the place. Many claimed to have seen apparitions either coming straight through walls or walking along the roof.

Anyone Famous?: Good luck trying to find ghosts of Davy Crockett, Jim Bowie, and William Travis.

Open to Tourists?: Yes. In fact, it’s a huge tourist destination. And they do give ghost tours.

Other Haunts: Devil’s Backbone, Jefferson Davis Hospital in Houston, Houston Zoo, Miss Molly’s Bed and Breakfast, Presidio La Bahia, Catfish Plantation Restaurant, The Grove in Jefferson, Littlefield House, University of Texas in Brownsville, Baker Hotel, Haunted Hill House, La Carafe, Spaghetti Warehouse, Jefferson Hotel, Hotel Galvez, Granbury Opera House, Emily Morgan Hotel, Bragg Road, Elder Street Artist Lofts, Driskill Hotel, White Sanitarium

44. Utah

Originally built by Protestant missionaries to convert the Mormon children, Salt Lake City's Westminster College has been trying to shed its religious past. But it's said to have 7 known ghosts.

Originally built by Protestant missionaries to convert the Mormon children, Salt Lake City’s Westminster College has been trying to shed its religious past. But it’s said to have 7 known ghosts.

Most Haunted Place: Westminster College in Salt Lake City

History: A private liberal arts college established in 1875 and the only accredited one in Utah. Built at a time when Protestants flocked to Utah in order to try converting Mormons so they built private and secondary schools where they offered free tuition. Westminster belonged to the Presbyterian Church until the school officially severed its denominational ties in 1974 and it’s no longer antagonistic to the state’s Mormon establishment. Its campus is known for its natural beauty and elegant architecture. Its mascot is the griffin and its colors are blue and gold. Notable alumni include Olympic skier Maddie Bowman.

Present Use: It’s still a liberal arts college and one of the few in the Intermountain West with no denomination.

Sightings: Said to be haunted by at least 7 known ghosts, spread out over several buildings as well as known for appearing at random, making odd noises, and sometimes touching passersby.

Anyone Famous?: No.

Open to Tourists?: I think it might. You might want to check.

Other Haunts: American Fork Canyon, Clearfield Job Corps Center, Gray Cliff Lodge Restaurant, Kiwanis Park, Roy High School, Voo Doo Caves of Beaver Dam, Forest Farm House at Old Deseret, McCune Mansion, Dove Creek Camp, Southern Utah University, Latuda, Winter Quarters Mine

45. Vermont

The University of Vermont is one of the oldest American public colleges and alma mater to a lot of celebrities including a First Lady. It's also had a colorful history and is said to be a haunt of a lot of ghosts.

The University of Vermont is one of the oldest American public colleges and alma mater to a lot of celebrities including a First Lady. It’s also had a colorful history and is said to be a haunt of a lot of ghosts. Don’t mention the racist winter celebrations though.

Most Haunted Place: University of Vermont in Burlington

History: Established in 1791 and became the state’s sole land grant university in 1862, it’s one of the first public colleges in the country as well as one of the first to admit women and African Americans. However, this didn’t stop them from using the Kakewalk and blackface in their winter celebrations, which was abolished in 1969. They also have a naked bike run at the end of the year. Its mascot is the Catamounts in NCAA Div. I sports. It’s also said to have one of the most selective medical schools in the country. Its first edifice was destroyed by a fire in 1824 and the citizens paid for a replacement with the Marquis de Lafayette laying the cornerstone on what’s now “Old Mill.” In 1924, it held the first radio broadcast in the state. Also has a long history of environmental sustainability. Notable alumni include attorney Consuelo Northup Bailey (first female lawyer to practice before the U.S. Supreme Court), Boston Red Sox pitcher Ray Collins, First Lady Grace Coolidge, philosopher and educator John Dewey, Phish bass player Mike Gordon, Phish guitarist Trey Anastasio, Olympic gold medalist Albert Gutterson, serial killer H. H. Holmes, doctor and American Legion founder Horatio Nelson Jackson, Pulitzer Prize winning author E. Annie Proulx, New York Times co-founder Henry Jarvis Raymond, author and cook Jessica Seinfeld (or Mrs. Jerry Seinfeld), 3-time Stanley Cup champion Patrick Sharp, Nobel Peace Prize Laureate Jody Williams and missionary Samuel Worcester.

Present Use: It’s still a public university to this day.

Sightings: Events reported are poltergeist activity, apparitions, voices, and windows and doors slamming.

Anyone Famous?: No, but there’s a hall named after Grace Coolidge which is said to have few ghosts in it.

Open to Tourists?: Yes.

Other Haunts: Averill Stand Bed and Breakfast, Bennington College, Carbur’s Restaurant, Gold Brook Covered Bridge, White House Inn, Hayden House, Lake Bomoseen, Brattleboro Retreat Tower, Green Mountain Inn, Golden Stage Inn, Shelburne Museum

46. Virginia

Since its establishment, the Ferry Plantation House has been on property that's served as a plantation, courthouse, school, and post office. Was a place of a famous witch trial in 1703 which is honored each year.

Since its establishment, the Ferry Plantation House has been on property that’s served as a plantation, courthouse, school, and post office. Was a place of a famous witch trial in 1703 which is honored each year.

Most Haunted Place: Ferry Plantation House in Virginia Beach

History: Got its name from the ferry service that ran through the Lynnhaven waterway. Current house built in 1830 by slaves of George and Elizabeth McIntosh as well as on a property that’s been used as a plantation, courthouse, school, and post office. It’s said that a woman named Grace Sherwood “the Witch of Pungo” was tried by ducking there in 1703 and it’s now commemorated with a festival in her honor. She was the last person in Virginia to be convicted of witchcraft (but she didn’t die until 1740) All the bricks were from the ruins of the previous mansion built there which was burned two years earlier.

Present Use: It’s now a museum and educational center. It even has a history summer camp to educate youth about 18th and 19th century life.

Sightings: It’s reported to contain no less than 11 spirits reputed to be former owners, children, slaves, people who drowned, and other lost souls. It’s also reported that the lights go on during the night while unoccupied and strange balls of light are seen dancing on the roof.

Anyone Famous?: Artist and General Thomas H. Williamson is said to haunt while wearing a dirty shirt. Alleged witch Grace Sherwood is also said to haunt the premises.

Open to Tourists?: Yes.

Other Haunts: Aquia Church, Ball’s Bluff, Bremo Recess, Manassas National Battlefield, Monticello, Rosewell, Swannanoa Palace, Fort Magruder Hotel, Staunton Train Depot, Paxton Manor, Salubria Manor, Boxwood Inn Bed and Breakfast, Cold Harbor Battlefield, Major Graham’s Mansion, Historic Avenel, Weems-Botts Museum, Historic Jordan Springs, Henricus Historical Park, Exchange Hotel Civil War Hospital Museum, St. Albans Sanatorium

47. Washington

Port Townsend's Palace Hotel is said to house an Egyptian theater, Northern Pacific offices, a grocery store, a state liquor store, a florist shop, and several restaurants. But it's said that its haunted activity stems from it being used as a brothel.

Port Townsend’s Palace Hotel is said to house an Egyptian theater, Northern Pacific offices, a grocery store, a state liquor store, a florist shop, and several restaurants. But it’s said that its haunted activity stems from it being used as a brothel.

Most Haunted Place: The Palace Hotel in Port Townsend

History: Constructed in 1889 by retired sea captain Henry L. Tibbals. Over the years it housed an Egyptian theater, the Northern Pacific offices, a grocery store, a state liquor store, a florist shop, and several restaurants. Its current shape was achieved between 1925 and 1933 and it was operated as a brothel and hotel at the time. Has 19 rooms and suites, each bearing the names of one of the prostitutes who occupied the hotel during Prohibition. It was restored and renovated in 1977-1984.

Present Use: It’s still being used as a hotel but all the rooms have private bathrooms though. First floor is home to a restaurant and bar.

Sightings: Several female apparitions have been reported, some believed to be prostitutes. People also report being touched and having their things moved. Other spirits include a priest, a boy, an Indian woman, and a housekeeper.

Anyone Famous?: Well, Captain Tibbals himself who was one of the area’s most colorful residents. Notable exploits include carrying cargo of railroad iron across the Isthmus of Panama and testing the first US diving bell, using it to retrieve $68,000 of silver from a sunken Spanish frigate in the Gulf of Mexico. Also built Union Wharf in the city as well as served as sheriff, postmaster, and county commissioner.

Open to Tourists?: Yes.

Other Haunts: Cascade Job Corp, Butterworth Building, Manresa Castle, Montgomery House Bed and Breakfast, Point Defiance Park, Starvation Heights Sanitarium, Black Diamond Cemetery, Tacoma Old City Hall, Oxford Saloon, Spokane Campbell House, Hotel de Haro, Mount Baker Theater, Lewis County Historical Museum, University Heights, Rucker Mansion, Meeker Mansion, Tokeland Hotel, Northern State Mental Hospital

48. West Virginia

The  Old West Virginia State Penitentiary was one of the most violent in the country, mostly due to overcrowding. Said to experience a lot of riots and 36 murders. Famously featured in both book and movie The Night of the Hunter.

The Old West Virginia State Penitentiary was one of the most violent in the country, mostly due to overcrowding. Said to experience a lot of riots and 36 murders. Famously featured in both book and movie The Night of the Hunter.

Most Haunted Place: West Virginia State Penitentiary in Moundsville

History: Prison that operated from 1876-1995. Original state penitentiary in West Virginia (since it used to be part of Virginia before it split from the state to join the Union in 1863). The place was built by convicts and it was said to be virtually self-sufficient and said to save state taxpayers $14,000 a year. While conditions were good around the turn of the century, they would later worsen during the years that it would be among the most violent prisons in the country. One of the more infamous locations was the recreation room known as, “The Sugar Shack” which experienced incidences of gambling, fighting, and raping. It’s said that a total of 36 homicides took place in its walls as well as 94 executions from 1899-1959 either by hanging or the electric chair. A noteworthy incident involved an inmate being butchered by 3 prisoners with dull shivs for snitching. Played a key role in Dave Grubb’s book (and better known movie) The Night of the Hunter. Had a peak population of 2000 in the 1960s but it had problems with overcrowding and small cells. Saw a mass escape in 1979 and a riot in 1986. After it closed its doors, the Moundsville Economic Development Council obtained a 25 year lease on the complex. Notable prisoners are Socialist Party Leader Eugene V. Debs.

Present Use: It’s now maintained as a tourist attraction and training facility for law enforcement and corrections practitioners. Is also used as a film location.

Sightings: It’s one of the most haunted prisons in the US with ghost stories originating as early as the 1930s. Legends include the prison occupying the site of a Native American graveyard and former guards seeing phantom prisoners and a “shadowman” wandering the premises as well as unexplained noises, voices, and cold spots.

Anyone Famous?: No.

Open to Tourists?: Yes, even has a Halloween “Dungeon of Horrors.” They also have tours.

Other Haunts: Blennerhassett Hotel, Booth House at Harpers Ferry, Trans-Allegheny Lunatic Asylum, Lake Shawnee, Camden Park, Darkish Knob, Grave Creek Indian Burial Mound, Morgantown, Historic Harpers Ferry

49. Wisconsin

Summerwind is a mysterious place believed to have been built in the early 20th century as a fishing lodge. Said to be notoriously haunted from the time it was owned by Robert Lamont. However, most of the place was destroyed by a lightning fire in 1988. Only the foundation and chimney remain.

Summerwind is a mysterious place believed to have been built in the early 20th century as a fishing lodge. Said to be notoriously haunted from the time it was owned by Robert Lamont. However, most of the place was destroyed by a lightning fire in 1988. Only the foundation and chimney remain.

Most Haunted Place: Summerwind Mansion in West Bay Lake

History: According to popular legend, this place was built in the early 20th century. Originally used as a fishing lodge, it was bought in 1916 by a guy named Robert Lamont who renovated it into his summer home. Said to be haunted right from the time he moved in because it’s reported that he and his family left in the 1930s (though this was about the time that Lamont was appointed Secretary of Commerce under Herbert Hoover). Another set of owners in the 1970s are said to leave after a few months because the hauntings drove them insane. In 1988, it was struck by lightning and burned to the ground, leaving only the foundation and chimney.

Present Use: Currently none and it’s considered private land. Might be rebuilt into a bed and breakfast someday.

Sightings: It’s been reportedly haunted for years. Lamont is reported to shoot a ghost with a pistol twice and sent it back to the cellar. When the Hinshaws lived there in the 1970s, renovators reported electrical problems, disappearing tools, and windows opening and closing by themselves. In the 1980s, it’s reported that people saw furniture appearing at random, room dimensions suddenly changing, and even dark shadows in full view.

Anyone Famous?: According to Raymond Bober, the house might be haunted by the ghost of 18th century British explorer Jonathan Carver. He basically explored and mapped much of the Midwest areas but he also thought he discovered the Northwest Passage. He didn’t. However, Bober said that Carver was searching the place for a deed sealed in the foundation that gave him rights to a third of Wisconsin.

Open to Tourists?: No, but there might be plans to restore and reopen the place as a bed and breakfast.

Other Haunts: The Rave/Eagles Club, Modjeska Youth Theater Company, Rinehart Theater, Saint Killian’s Catholic Cemetery, Scott Mansion, Pfister Hotel, Nelsen’s Hall, Elk Lake Dam, Appleton Riverside Cemetery, Brumder Mansion, Bloody Bride Bridge, Bodega Brew Pub, Plainfield Cemetery, Siren Bridge, Boy Scout Lane, Oshkosh Grand Opera House, Marquette University, Ripon Witch Road, Dartford Cemetery, Ripon College, Hotel Hell

50. Wyoming

The Wyoming Frontier Prison is said to have housed 13,500 prisoners in its operation. But it was infamous for its disciplinary measures like handcuffing prisoners to poles and whipping them with hoses. Was a film site for an early Viggo Mortensen movie.

The Wyoming Frontier Prison is said to have housed 13,500 prisoners in its operation. But it was infamous for its disciplinary measures like handcuffing prisoners to poles and whipping them with hoses. Was a film site for an early Viggo Mortensen movie.

Most Haunted Place: Wyoming Frontier Prison in Rawlins

History: Prison that operated from 1901-1981. Incarcerated 13,500 prisoners in its lifetime, including 11 women, all before 1909. Contained several different means of disciplining inmates such as a dungeon, several variations of solitary confinement, and a “punishment pole” to which men were handcuffed and whipped with rubber hoses. They also used different execution methods like hanging and gas chamber. 14 were executed.  Had a broom factory in 1901-1917 but it was burned down in a riot. After it closed, it was abandoned until 1987 when it was used for a low-budget film starring a little known actor named Viggo Mortensen. The next year, it was restored and established as a museum.

Present Use: It’s now a museum that offers tours to 15,000 tourists annually.

Sightings: It’s reported that apparitions and voices are common, as is a malevolent entity that responds with hostility to many people who try to explore certain areas of the prison.

Anyone Famous?: No.

Open to Tourists?: Yes, and they even have Halloween tours and a Christmas bazaar.

Other Haunts: Old Faithful Inn, Shoshone Bar, Historic Plains Hotel, Irma Hotel, Platte River, Meeteetse Cowboy Bar, Occidental Hotel, Frances E. Warren Air Force Base, Heart Mountain Relocation Center, Kane Cemetery, Cheyenne St. Mark’s Episcopal Church

In These Haunted United States – Part 4: New Mexico to South Carolina

Of course, it’s well known that many of these haunted places attract tourists, especially in the Halloween season and the summer. Some of these places might have some historical or artistic significance. Some were built to receive tourists from the get go. And others might welcome tourists because it’s a highly profitable enterprise that provides funding to restoration and historical preservation. In fact, a lot of these places that I’ve covered might not be around today if it wasn’t for tourism and highly encourage it. And it so happens that many of them have reputations for being haunted, which provides a unique Halloween opportunity on its own. However, we should remember that not all haunted places are open to visitors and for various reasons. Some may be privately owned and still in use like private residences such as the Sallie House. Some might be abandoned for a very good reason and may not be open to the public due to safety concerns such as some of the mental institutions. And some of them might not be open to the public because the people in the area think all the horror stories surrounding the location are just a big hoax and that visitors are just disturbing the peace. An example of this is the Amityville Horror House I’ll talk about in this post. In this fourth installment, I’ll bring you 10 more haunted places from the land of the free. These consist of a deadly highway in New Mexico, a house in New York that’s been a subject of horror movies and controversy, a mountain known for mysterious lights in North Carolina, a memorial building in North Dakota that’s now home to its state library, a mental institution in Ohio that’s now part of a college, a hotel in Oklahoma, a hotel and bar in Oregon, a famous battlefield in Pennsylvania, a mental institution in Rhode Island, and a old jail in South Carolina. So for your reading pleasure here are some more noteworthy places from haunted America.

31. New Mexico

In New Mexico, the aptly named US Highway 666 has had a reputation for accidents and fatalities. Though some people blame it on paranormal road rage, experts think the rate had more to do with inadequate design for traffic loads at the time.

In New Mexico, the aptly named US Highway 666 has had a reputation for accidents and fatalities. Though some people blame it on paranormal road rage, experts think the rate had more to do with inadequate design for traffic loads at the time.

Most Haunted Place: US Highway 666 (Now 491)

History: A highway that ran from Arizona, New Mexico, Colorado, and Utah and was the only highway to pass through each of the Four Corners States. Started as part of the Old Spanish Trail and was upgraded to 666 with the US highway system. The New Mexico portion of this highway had a reputation for being statistically dangerous since it was a sight for a lot of accidents and fatalities. However, this had more to do with inadequate design for traffic loads at the time than the numbering itself. Still, let’s just say that

Present Use: It’s now a highway but it’s been renamed US 491 due to its designation as “The Devil’s Highway,” a reputation for fatalities, renumbering changes, and persistent sign theft. The Arizona portion has been renamed US 191. Nevertheless, the renumbering drew quite a bit of controversy.

Sightings: Reported incidents include a flaming truck that attempts to run people over, a charging black sedan, a very fast semi driven by a ghost with road rage, two tailgating black cars, a hitchhiking girl in a white gown, spirits of skinwalkers, vicious hellhounds running after cars, and ghosts that show up in the backseats.

Anyone Famous?: No.

Open to Tourists?: Yes, but more as a place to drive on.

Other Haunts: Boyd’s Sanitarium, Chino Mines Creek, Holy Cross Sanatorium, Albuquerque Insane Asylum, New Mexico Military Institute, KIMO Theatre, Luna Mansion, Hotel Parq Central, Miss Gail’s Inn, Carrie Tingley Children’s Hospital, Church Street Café in Old Albuquerque, Albuquerque Arroyo, Rancho de Corrales, San Pedro Library

32. New York

I decided to post an old picture of the Amityville Horror House out of respect that the community and owners have been  unhappy with the house's publicity. The believe what happened to the Lutz family in there after the DeFeo murders was a hoax. So if you like the Amityville Horror movies, for the love of God, keep the fuck out of there!

I decided to post an old picture of the Amityville Horror House out of respect that the community and owners have been unhappy with the house’s publicity. The believe what happened to the Lutz family in there after the DeFeo murders was a hoax. So if you like the Amityville Horror movies, for the love of God, keep the fuck out of there!

Most Haunted Place: The Amityville Horror House in Amityville, a Long Island Suburb

History: A Dutch Colonial house built in 1927 with original owners being John and Catherine Moynahan. When they died, their daughter moved in with her family and lived there until the 1960. Between 1960 and 1965, it would be owned by the Rileys but they divorced and sold the house to the DeFeos (who lived there for 9 years). It’s best known as the site of the 1974 DeFeo murders when oldest son Ronald Jr. shot and killed his entire family while they slept. After the murders, George and Kathleen Lutz bought the home for $80,000 – a steal in New York real estate. But they lived there for 28 days that they didn’t make payment on the $60,000 mortgage on the house. Their time was when the haunting stuff is said to have happened. Later owners reported no problems while living there, save maybe the price and horror movie fans. The Cromartys who lived in the home after the Lutzes have even sued. Nevertheless, Peter O’Neill lived in the house for 10 years (1987-1997) and would later die on 9/11.

Present Use: Well, it’s still a private residence owned by a retired math teacher and his wife. They bought it in 2010 at $950,000.

Sightings: This is the country’s most infamous haunted house which has inspired books, movies, and documentaries. The Lutz family is said to experience hauntings such as moving objects, attacks, levitation, and demonic apparitions.

Anyone Famous?: No.

Open to Tourists?: No, and the residents of Amityville are unhappy about the house’s publicity and have declined requests to discuss the matter. In fact, they believe it’s a hoax and so does the Catholic Diocese of Rockville. The Amityville Historical Society even makes no mention of the DeFeo murders or the time the Lutz family lived. Not only that, but the house has been renovated and had its address changed to discourage people from visiting it. Hell, they didn’t even want a film crew in their sleepy community and denied shooting permits. So, Amityville Horror fans, for the love of God, show some courtesy and keep the fuck out of Amityville! Seriously, for Christ’s sake, Amityville doesn’t want you in their town, so leave them alone!

Other Haunts: Big Moose Lake, Cherry Hill Estate, New York State Capitol, Smith-Ely Mansion, Letchworth Village, Durand-Eastman Park, Irvington Church of St. Barnabas, Farnam Mansion, Former Plattsburgh Air Force Base, Sailor’s Snug Harbor, Onondaga County Criminal Courthouse, Brooklyn Most Holy Trinity Church, Raynham Hall, Otesaga Hotel,  Rolling Hills Asylum, Utica Lunatic Asylum, Blithewood Mansion, Fiddler’s Bridge, Dewittville Poor House Cemetery, Dupree House, Belhurst Castle, Revelatory Hero’s Cemetery, Loudon Cottage, Marcellus, Old Spook Rock Road, Dakota Apartment Building, One If By Land, Two If By Sea Restaurant, New Amsterdam Thatre

33. North Carolina

Brown Mountain is known to experience the mysterious illuminations called "The Brown Mountain Lights" for perhaps centuries as there were hundreds of eyewitness accounts. It's even merited 2 investigations by the United States Geological Society. But as of today, the lights are still a mystery.

Brown Mountain is known to experience the mysterious illuminations called “The Brown Mountain Lights” for perhaps centuries as there were hundreds of eyewitness accounts. It’s even merited 2 investigations by the United States Geological Society. But as of today, the lights are still a mystery.

Most Haunted Place: Brown Mountain in Burke and Caldwell Counties

History: It’s a low lying mountain range in the Pisgah National Forest within the Appalachians.

Present Use: It’s still a mountain and will remain so.

Sightings: There’s a mysterious illumination known as the Brown Mountain Lights consisting of small balls that appear irregularly all over the mountain, which has appeared for maybe hundreds of years. Residents are said to see them since the 19th century while the Cherokee might’ve been seeing them since the 13th. There are hundreds of eyewitness accounts on this that it’s merited 2 investigations by the United States Geological Society. Said to be seen as far away as Blowing Rock. It’s widely believe these lights are the ghosts of Native Americans.

Anyone Famous?: No.

Open to Tourists?: Yes.

Other Haunts: Devil’s Tramping Ground, Sandford House, Carolina Theatre, Lydia’s Bridge, Ashe County Hospital, Museum of Ashe County History, Attmore-Oliver House, Harvey Mansion Historical Inn and Restaurant, Tar River, The Bitmore Estate, The Great Dismal Swamp, Orcacoke Island, Paint Rock, French Broad River, Grove Park Inn, Winston-Salem Single Brothers House, Chimney Rock, Teach’s Hole

34. North Dakota

Originally built for additional government office space, the Liberty Memorial Building is now home to North Dakota's state library. However, it's said to be haunted by an entity known as the Stack Monster.

Originally built for additional government office space, the Liberty Memorial Building is now home to North Dakota’s state library. However, it’s said to be haunted by an entity known as the Stack Monster.

Most Haunted Place: Liberty Memorial Building in Bismarck

History: Completed in 1924, this was originally intended to provide additional office space for state agencies and to mark the end of WWI. It’s the oldest building standing on the capitol grounds.

Present Use: It’s now home to the North Dakota State Library and dedicated to the memory of those in the state who served in WWI.

Sightings: It’s been the reported haunting of the Stack Monster, who apparently calls out the names of employees when no one else is present, has been seen repeatedly, and opens doors at random.

Anyone Famous?: No.

Open to Tourists?: Yes.

Other Haunts: Apple Creek Country Club, Chateau de Mores, North Dakota State University (which is in Fargo), Old Luger Hotel, Saint Joseph’s Hospital and Health Center, Sage Hill Bed and Breakfast, University of North Dakota, San Haven Sanatorium, Children’s Museum at Yunker Farm, Harvey Public Library, Fort Abraham Lincoln Custer House, Williston Old Armory, Totten Trail Historic Inn, Medora Fudge and Ice Cream Depot

35. Ohio

Before it was called The Ridges, this was the Athens Lunatic Asylum which had an infamous reputation as a mental institution. And its real history is even scarier than the ghosts said to haunt there. It's now a part of Ohio University.

Before it was called The Ridges, this was the Athens Lunatic Asylum which had an infamous reputation as a mental institution. And its real history is even scarier than the ghosts said to haunt there. It’s now a part of Ohio University.

Most Haunted Place: The Ridges (Athens Lunatic Asylum) in Athens

History: Operated as a mental institution from 1874-1993 and provided services to a variety of patients including American Civil War veterans, children, and violent criminals suffering from various mental disabilities. It’s said to be Ohio’s largest employer for many years and a large percentage of the work it took to maintain the facility was carried out by the patients. This is because the doctors thought it was not just therapeutic but also free. But it’s infamously well known for the use of lobotomy, hydrotherapy, electroshock therapy, psychotropic drugs, as well as neglect and abuse. Oh, and most of the causes of insanity listed (according to my words based on their mostly outdated medical interpretations) consisted of masturbation, alcoholism, menopause, post-partum depression, PMS, general ill health, self-abuse, tuberculosis and epilepsy. Also housed elderly and rebellious teenagers who were dumped by their families, while homeless people would frequent there for shelter. At its height, it held over 2000 patients. Over 2000 people are said to be buried there.

Present Use: It’s now part of Ohio University and houses the Kennedy Museum of Art, an auditorium, and many offices, classrooms, and storage facilities. However, the TB Ward doesn’t remain because it had to be demolished due to its walls being lined with asbestos and college students breaking into the building.

Sightings: Most well-known reported event is of a woman who died there and left a stain in the outline of her body. The cemetery is said to be haunted as well.

Anyone Famous?: No.

Open to Tourists?: Yes, and they even have walking tours.

Other Haunts: Ohio University, Cincinnati Music Hall, Spring House Gazebo (or the place in Cincinnati where George Remus killed his wife), Ohio State Reformatory, Twin City Opera House, Old Licking County Jail, Prospect Place, Emmitt House, Franklin Castle, Stately Road, Akron Civic Theater, Dayton Woodlawn Cemetery, Lafayette Hotel, Fudge Road Bridge, Chillicothe Majestic Theatre, Kenyon College, Mudhouse Mansion

36. Oklahoma

The Skirvin Hotel is said to be the oldest in Oklahoma City and has paid host to Harry Truman and various NBA teams. Said to be home of a rather promiscuous female ghost.

The Skirvin Hotel is said to be the oldest in Oklahoma City and has paid host to Harry Truman and various NBA teams. Said to be home of a rather promiscuous female ghost.

Most Haunted Place: Skirvin Hotel in Oklahoma City

History: Opened in 1911, it’s the city’s oldest hotel. Original owner William Balser “Bill” Skirvin whose daughter was ambassador to Luxembourg under Harry Truman. Said to be a popular speakeasy during Prohibition. Was closed in 1988 and remained abandoned for 19 years until it was renovated and reopened as part of the Hilton chain of hotels in 2007.

Present Use: Well, it’s still a hotel and it’s been used by NBA teams whenever they play the Oklahoma City Thunder.

Sightings: Reported incidents include a female ghost who climbs into bed with male guests, maids’ carts moving down the halls on their own, and a baby crying. NBA players tend to report other hauntings as well. It’s said that an owner had an affair with a maid, knocked her up, locked her into a room, which drove her to the edge even after the baby was born. She was said to commit suicide with the baby in tow.

Anyone Famous?: No.

Open to Tourists?: Yes, if you can afford it.

Other Haunts: Labadie Mansion, Timberidge Cemetery, Fort Washita, McBride House, Vinita Cry Baby Bridge, Dead Women Crossing, Belvidere Mansion, Blanchard Cemetery, Bird Creek School, Brady Theatre, Blue Belle Saloon, Cherokee Strip Museum, Cushing First Christian Church, Fort Reno, Cain’s Ballroom, Kiamachi Kitchen, Mohawk Park and Golf Course, Langston’s Western Wear, Stone Lion Inn, Veteran’s Lake, Witch’s Grave in Hillside Cemetery, Wheelock Mission

37. Oregon

Originally a pub for Polish immigrants, Portland's White Eagle also included services like gambling and prostitution. It's now been a rock'n roll place since the 1970s with live music shows.

Originally a pub for Polish immigrants, Portland’s White Eagle also included services like gambling and prostitution. It’s now been a rock’n roll place since the 1970s with live music shows.

Most Haunted Place: White Eagle Saloon and Hotel in Portland

History: Opened in 1905 which was originally a hub for Polish immigrants but later became popular among sailors. But wasn’t a place with a great reputation since its services included gambling and prostitution. Was known for a lot of incidents such as a prostitute being killed by her jealous lover, drunken patrons being shanghaied through a basement tunnel, fierce and frequent brawls, and other events.

Present Use: It’s still used as a bar and hotel. However, it’s more like a rock n’ roll place with live music shows since the 1970s.

Sightings: It’s been reported that many people feel someone touch them or find it physically impossible to get out of their beds, while others report being shoved down the stairs.

Anyone Famous?: No.

Open to Tourists?: Yes.

Other Haunts: Bagdad Theater, Pittock Mansion, Roseland Theater, Geiser Grand Hotel, Granite, Hot Lake Hotel, Ashael Bush House, Dammasch State Hospital, Multnomah County Poor Farm, Multnomah Falls, Rhododendron Village, South Eugene High School, Benson Hotel, Cathedral Park, Heathman Hotel, Hollywood Theatre, Lotus Isle, North Portland Library, Oaks Amusement Park, Old Town Pizza, Reed College, Rimsky-Korsakoffee House, Roseland Theater, Portland shanghai tunnels, Tryon Creek, Villa St. Rose, Lithia Park, Southern Oregon University, Wolf Creek Inn, Malheur Butte, Oregon Caves Chateau, Astor Building, Coos Bay Egyptian Theatre, Fort Stevens, Heceta Head Lighthouse, Siletz Bay

38. Pennsylvania

The Battle of Gettysburg was perhaps the bloodiest incident on North American soil that left nearly 50,000 dead. Still, while it's said that most of the ghosts are harmless, they're willing to inflict deadly force to those who think building a casino in Gettysburg is a good idea. Actually I made that up, but let's just say a casino in Gettysburg is just sacrilege, in my opinion.

The Battle of Gettysburg was perhaps the bloodiest incident on North American soil that left nearly 50,000 dead. Still, while it’s said that most of the ghosts are harmless, they’re willing to inflict deadly force to those who think building a casino in Gettysburg is a good idea. Actually I made that up, but let’s just say a casino in Gettysburg is just sacrilege, in my opinion.

Most Haunted Place: Gettysburg Battlefield in Gettysburg

History: Site of the Battle of Gettysburg which lasted from July 1-3, 1863. It was the last attempt at a northern invasion by Confederate General Robert E. Lee but it resulted in a critical Union victory and a turning point in the war. It was the bloodiest battle of the American Civil War as well as on North American soil resulting nearly 50,000 dead. Also the site where President Abraham Lincoln gave his Gettysburg Address.

Present Use: It’s now a National Battlefield, historic landmark, memorial, and military cemetery. It’s one of the most visited national parks each year.

Sightings: It’s one of the most haunted places in the country. Ghosts include phantom soldiers, a headless horseman, a soldier smelling of sulfur, sharpshooters, a ragged soldier from Texas, a woman in white who committed suicide in 1880, and others. Some swear that they still hear babies crying and music.

Anyone Famous?: Well, there’s Confederate Brigadier General William Barksdale who was killed during the battle.

Open to Tourists?: Yes. In fact, I’ve been there twice. Didn’t see any ghosts though. Nevertheless, even if you don’t believe in ghosts, I highly recommend the trip. Seriously, it’s worth it.

Other Haunts: The town of Gettysburg, Saint Vincent College, Mayview, Baleroy Mansion, Bishop White House, Philadelphia City Tavern, Cliveden Manor, Eastern State Penitentiary, First Bank of the United States, Fort Mifflin, Grumblethorpe, Philadelphia Library Hall, Pennsylvania Hospital, Physick Mansion, Powel House, Philadelphia St. Peter’s Episcopal Church, USS Olympia, Philadelphia Washington Square, Welles House, Bolton Mansion, Brandywine River, Brinton Lodge, Albertus L. Meyers Bridge, Dixmont State Hospital, Fairfield Inn, General Warren Inn, General Wayne Inn, Growden Mansion, Harrisburg State Hospital, Hill View Manor, Keith House, Lebanon Valley College, Knickerbocker Hotel, Logan Inn, Mishler Theatre, Pen Ryn Mansion, Pennhurst State School and Hospital, Phillips’ Rangers Monument, Valley Forge, US Route 322, Heilbron Manor

39. Rhode Island

Though officially built to serve train the mentally disabled for jobs, it spent much of its history as a eugenics penal colony.  So it's no wonder why so much of this place has been demolished.

Though officially built to serve train the mentally disabled for jobs, it spent much of its history as a eugenics penal colony. So it’s no wonder why so much of this place has been demolished.

Most Haunted Place: The Dr. Joseph Ladd School in Exeter

History: Operated from 1908-1993 as a state institution constructed to serve the needs of the mentally disabled. 5,000 are said to have lived and died there. Though its official purpose was to train young people with disabilities for farm work and mechanical trades, the ideology behind an institution like this was formulated by a prominent eugenicist named Dr. Walter Fernald whose doctrine was to remove the “feeble-minded” from society in order to cleanse the population of inferior and “defective” genes. That doctor’s protégé, Dr. Joseph Ladd, was the institution’s first superintendent, but he would soon gain a reputation for mistreatment as his students grew and the place would become notorious for overcrowding and terrible living conditions. During its existence under Ladd, it more or less resembled a penal colony detaining people as a means of segregating them from free society either until menopause or natural death (because in Rhode Island, forced sterilization was illegal. However, there were a few women who were though). And during the 1920s-1940s,  it wasn’t just the mentally disabled who were confined there, but also women accused of immoral practices like prostitution, sodomy, extramarital sex, or being pregnant out of wedlock as well as other individuals who either committed petty crimes or no crimes at all. In 1947, Ladd discharged a third of the inmates due to money problems and redirected its mission to institutionalizing only those with severe disabilities. But after a long time resident was implicated in a murder of a disabled child in 1955, Ladd resigned. Things were better in its later years but the place would come under more scrutiny. Closed down for good in 1993.

Present Use: As of 2013, most of the place has been demolished. But the grounds are still private and are still being watched.

Sightings: Since its abandonment, many have reported hearing moaning, phantom footsteps or shuffling, voices, and crying. Some have claimed to see doors open, close, and/or lock with no explanation.

Anyone Famous?: No.

Open to Tourists?: No.

Other Haunts: Belcourt Castle, Crescent Park, Rhode Island School of Design, Biltmore Hotel, Conjuring House, Chestnut Hill Cemetery, The Barn at Roger Williams University, Providence City Hall, Block Island, Providence Athenaeum

40. South Carolina

The Old Charleston Jail has had a long history that it has housed prisoners ranging from criminals, unruly slaves, pirates, and Union POWs. It's best known for executing a woman named Lavinia Fisher said to be America's first female serial killer.

The Old Charleston Jail has had a long history that it has housed prisoners ranging from criminals, unruly slaves, pirates, and Union POWs. It’s best known for executing a woman named Lavinia Fisher said to be America’s first female serial killer.

Most Haunted Place: Old Charleston Jail in Charleston

History: A prison that operated from 1802-1939 which housed Charleston’s notorious criminals and served as its county jail. Prisoners include career criminals like John and Lavinia Fisher, unruly slaves like Denmark Vessey (who planned a slave revolt), high sea pirates, and American Civil War POWs. It also held black seamen there while they were in port during the antebellum years. In 1886, part of the complex was badly damaged by an earthquake.

Present Use: Today it’s been owned by the American College of the Building Arts since 2000 who have also helped restore it. Not only that, but it also serves as a laboratory and classroom for students.

Sightings: Said to be haunted by the spirits of the deceased prisoners who died in jail. It’s been reported that apparitions, voices, as well as moving and disappearing objects are the norm.

Anyone Famous?: Well, there’s Lavinia Fisher who might’ve been America’s first female serial killer but we’re not sure if she killed anyone. However, her and her husband were active members of a large gang outside the city and owned an inn that was used as a hiding place. Publicly executed at the jail for highway robbery, which was then a capital offense in 1820.

Open to Tourists?: Yes. They also have walking and ghost tours, too.

Other Haunts: Legare Street House, Pawley’s Island, Redcliffe Plantation, St. Helena Parish Chapel of Ease Ruins, South Carolina Lunatic Asylum, Charelston Naval Base Admiral’s House, Baynard Plantation, Anderson Cry Baby Bridge, Cypress Garden Ruins, Hell’s Gate/Oakwood Cemetery, Abandoned Mansion in Santee, Montrose Cemetery, Smoaks Old Train Building and Trestle, Salem Black River Church, Greenville Tuberculosis Hospital, White Point Gardens, Seven Devil’s Bridge, The Hermitage, Rose Hill Plantation

In These Haunted United States – Part 3: Massachusetts to New Jersey

Now we’re in the middle of my haunted series on the United States. You might notice that many of these haunted places include hotels. Well, there are some reasons why. For one, hotels tend to have long histories with many still being used today. And let’s just say that something which has been around for a very long time is bound to carry some baggage. In the hotel realm, a checkered past might give rise to ghost stories like some maid committing suicide over an affair. Second, hotels tend to but hubs with a lot of people in them whether they be employees, visitors, owners, and what not. So a lot people can lead to a lot of ghost stories. And third, they tend to be places where you see people from different classes, races, and creeds such as the poorer employees as well as the richer patrons and management. And yes, in America, you’re bound to see plenty of employees to be African American, Latino, or immigrants as you would see in the country’s service industry. But such mingling at another time can lead to some tragic consequences. In this section, I bring you a third installment of some of the most haunted American places. These will include a Massachusetts house that was a scene of a notorious murder, mansions in Michigan, Minnesota, Mississippi, and Missouri, a major college in Montana, the Nebraska State Capitol, a ghost town in Nevada, a cemetery in New Hampshire, and a house in New Jersey that inspired legends. So for your reading pleasure, here are some more haunted places in these United States.

21. Massachusetts

Legend has it that in this Fall River House, Lizzie Borden brutally murdered her father and stepmother in 1892. But she was found not guilty despite what public opinion thought of her. However, if Lizzie did killed her parents, it was most likely out of a family dispute.

Legend has it that in this Fall River House, Lizzie Borden brutally murdered her father and stepmother in 1892. But she was found not guilty despite what public opinion thought of her. However, if Lizzie did killed her parents, it was most likely out of a family dispute.

Most Haunted Place: The Lizzie Borden House in Fall River

History: Built in 1845, it was the 19th century home of Lizzie Borden and her family. This was the site of the axe murders of her father and stepmother in 1892, widely believed to be committed by Lizzie herself despite being found not guilty. However, if she did kill her parents, it would’ve been over a family dispute. Has been sold in 1918 and 1948.

Present Use: Now a bed and breakfast as well as museum.

Sightings: Apparitions and voices of the Borden family members, servants, and pets are said to be experience throughout the house. Ghosts of 2 young children have also been reported.

Anyone Famous?: It’s said that Lizzie Borden herself has been seen in the basement.

Open to Tourists?: Yes.

Other Haunts: Boston Athenaeum, Houghton Mansion, Joshua Ward House, Witch House, USS Salem, Taunton State Hospital, Leicester Quaker Cemetery, Cape Cod Orleans Inn, Waltham Metropolitan State Hospital, Fort Revere, Danvers State Mental Hospital, Lincoln Mill, Cutler Majestic Theater at Emerson College

22. Michigan

Henderson Castle was originally owned by one of the most successful businessmen in Kalamazoo. It's now a bed and breakfast with a restaurant and spa.

Henderson Castle was originally owned by one of the most successful businessmen in Kalamazoo. It’s now a bed and breakfast with a restaurant and spa.

Most Haunted Place: Henderson Castle in Kalamazoo

History: Built in 1895 and originally owned by Mary and Frank Henderson who was one of Kalamazoo’s most successful businessmen as well as owner and president of the Henderson-Ames Uniform Company (which designed uniforms for secret societies, organizations, and the military). However, Frank would die 4 years after construction while his wife died in 1907. The Henderson children sold the place in 1919 and has since passed hands 10 times until the current owners bought it in 2011.

Present Use: Currently a bed and breakfast. It even has a restaurant and spa.

Sightings: Said to be haunted by the original owners and a soldier as well as al little girl and a dog. Many people report being tapped, having radios blare even when unplugged, and seeing apparitions.

Anyone Famous?: Well, Frank Henderson but only in a local capacity.

Open to Tourists?: Yes.

Other Haunts: Big Bay Point Light, Fort Wayne, Holy Family Orphanage, Eloise Asylum, Murphy’s Lamplight Inn, Traverse City State Hospital, Detroit Masonic Temple, Felt Mansion, Michigan Bell Telephone Company in Grand Rapids, River Raisin National Battlefield Park, Pere Cheney, Mackinac Island, Bone Head’s BBQ

23. Minnesota

The Forepaugh Mansion was home to a successful dry goods businessman in St. Paul. However, he's said to have an affair with a maid who later committed suicide. Forepaugh and his family didn't live in there long soon after that.

The Forepaugh Mansion was home to a successful dry goods businessman in St. Paul. However, he’s said to have an affair with a maid who later committed suicide. Forepaugh and his family didn’t live in there long soon after that.

Most Haunted Place: Joseph Forepaugh Mansion in St. Paul

History: Built in 19th century, it was the mansion of entrepreneur Joseph Forepaugh who made his fortune in the dry goods business and was Senior Partner in the J.L. Forepaugh and Company. He lived there with his wife Mary and their two daughters. However, he made the mistake of cheating on his wife with a young maid named Molly. When Mary caught him in bed with Molly, she asked Joseph to end it and he did. Unfortunately, Molly found out she was pregnant and committed suicide by hanging from a window. The Forepaughs sold the place to retired Civil War General Henry Hammond and moved to Europe. However, Forepaugh would later commit suicide in 1892, most likely to escape a financial crash.

Present Use: It’s now an upscale French restaurant with reception/banquet space. It’s also a museum as well.

Sightings: It’s said the Molly’s ghost apparently bangs on walls, causes glasses to explode, and can sometimes be seen.

Anyone Famous?: Customers are said to see a solid form of Joseph Forepaugh himself, apparently pleased with the restoration and renovation efforts of the current owners. He’s also said to act like he owns the place.

Open to Tourists?: Yes.

Other Haunts: Greyhound Bus Museum, Minneapolis City Hall, Palmer House Hotel, Winona State University, Lake Julia Sanitarium, Dead Man’s Trail, Janesville Doll House, Lake View Cemetery, Mantorville Opera House, Washington Street Bridge in Minneapolis, Concordia College, St. Olaf College, Griggs Mansion

24. Mississippi

Cedar Grove Mansion was home to the Kleins who used their home as a hospital during the Battle of Vicksburg when it was attacked by cannon. The family would reside there until 1919.

Cedar Grove Mansion was home to the Kleins who used their home as a hospital during the Battle of Vicksburg when it was attacked by cannon. The family would reside there until 1919.

Most Haunted Place: Cedar Grove Mansion in Vicksburg

History: Built in 1852 and was owned by planter and businessman Joseph Alexander Klein as well as his wife Elizabeth where they’d have 10 children. During the Civil War, they used their home as a Union hospital, particularly during the Battle of Vicksburg. However, it didn’t prevent the mansion from being attacked by cannon nor did Elizabeth’s family ties to General William Tecumseh Sherman. The Klein family would reside there until 1919.

Present Use: Now a bed and breakfast. Said to be among the most elegant in the South.

Sightings: Reported manifestations of the house include house’s original family, various apparitions (including soldiers), laughter, and footsteps.

Anyone Famous?: Well, it’s said the John Klein still keeps an eye on the staff and is apparently not quite trusting of the living’s judgement. His wife is said to be there, too.

Open to Tourists?: Yes.

Other Haunts: Cold Spring Plantation, Kessler Air Force Base, Longfellow Place, Rowan Oak, Mississippi State Capitol, Vicksburg National Military Park, Waverly Plantation, Chapel of the Cross, Corinth Battlefield, Dunleith Plantation, Meridian Grand Opera House, Natchez King’s Tavern, Linden Plantation, Merrehope Plantation, Monmouth Plantation, Springfield Plantation

25. Missouri

In their heyday, the Lemp family dominated the beer business in Missouri until Prohibition. Unfortunately, the family was rocked by tragedy, scandal, and dysfunction with 4 members committing suicide. 3 of them in this house.

In their heyday, the Lemp family dominated the beer business in Missouri until Prohibition. Unfortunately, the family was rocked by tragedy, scandal, and dysfunction with 4 members committing suicide. 3 of them in this St. Louis house.

Most Haunted Place: Lemp Mansion in St. Louis

History: Built in 1868 and home of the Lemp Family, whose brewing company dominated the St. Louis beer market before Prohibition. They lived in this house until 1949. Nevertheless, the family was besieged by tragedy and dysfunction. Four members of the family committed suicide including original owner William Lemp Sr. and 3 of his children.

Present Use: It’s now a restaurant and inn owned by the Pointer family. It’s even a venue for murder mystery dinner theater and Halloween parties.

Sightings: During restoration efforts in the 1970s, it’s been workers reported being harassed by slamming doors, ghostly noise, and experiencing an uncomfortable feeling due to the oppressive atmosphere of the mansion and the “burning sensation” of staring eyes. It’s said a monkey-face boy haunts the attic, looking for love and attention, who is believed to be an illegitimate son of William Lemp Jr. and was said to have Down Syndrome. Not to mention, there have been reports of apparitions of the family members as well.

Anyone Famous?: If you count the Lemp family, then yes, in a local capacity.

Open to Tourists?: Yes.

Other Haunts: Avilla, St. Louis City Museum, Epperson House, Henderson Mansion, Kemper Arena, Missouri State Penitentiary, Pythian Castle, Vaile Mansion, Kansas City Union Station, Knob Noster, Jesse James Farm, Jefferson Barracks and Cemetery, Ravenswood, Missouri Governor’s Mansion, Boonville Thespian Hall

26. Montana

Since its 1893 founding the University of Montana has been the alma mater of an Oscar winning actor, a member of Pearl Jam, a prominent TV star, and this country's first US Congresswoman. However, it's been reported to have an entire lecture attended by ghosts.

Since its 1893 founding the University of Montana has been the alma mater of an Oscar winning actor, a member of Pearl Jam, a prominent TV star, and this country’s first US Congresswoman. However, it’s been reported to have an entire lecture attended by ghosts.

Most Haunted Place: The University of Montana in Missoula

History: Founded in 1893. Said to be a city within a city that has its own post office, medical facilities, police department, banking, restaurants, and ZIP code. Houses the earliest authorized edition of the Lewis and Clark Journals. Mascot is Monte the Grizzly Bear. Notable alumni include Oscar winning actor and Farmer’s Insurance spokesman J. K. Simmons, Pearl Jam’s James Ament, All in the Family’s Carroll O’Connor (best known as Archie Bunker), and US Congresswoman Jeannette Rankin.

Present Use: It’s still used as a public university and is a flagship campus of the UM system.

Sightings: Reports range from the ghost of a girl who committed suicide, a ghost of a dog, and other apparitions and emotional sensations. It’s said at Rankin Hall, there’s an entire lecture attended by ghosts.

Anyone Famous?: Not from what I have heard. However, Rankin Hall is named after famous alum Jeannette Rankin who was the first US Congresswoman.

Open to Tourists?: Well, on a seasonal basis. But they do give haunted tours to the public.

Other Haunts: Bannack, Carroll College, Copper King Mansion, Garnet, Little Bighorn National Battlefield, Montana State Prison Museum, Virginia City, Belton Chalet, Chico Hot Springs, Dumas Brothel, Paris Gibson Square Museum, Reeder’s Alley

27. Nebraska

Besides being home to the country's only unicameral state legislature, the State Capitol of Nebraska is said to be haunted by accident victims who are said to fall from its large tower. On a lighter note, it's been praised for its architecture.

Besides being home to the country’s only unicameral state legislature, the State Capitol of Nebraska is said to be haunted by accident victims who are said to fall from its large tower. On a lighter note, it’s been praised for its architecture.

Most Haunted Place: Nebraska State Capitol in Lincoln

History: Completed in 1932, this is the primary government headquarters of the Nebraska state government. Its style is a mix of Art Deco, Neo-Byzantine, and Gothic Revival. Seriously, Wikipedia’s entry is devoted to the place’s architecture. Several deaths are said to occur there, including 2 people falling to their deaths from the 12th floor and 2 which took place in the central tower stairwell.

Present Use: It’s steal the seat of government in Nebraska.

Sightings: Reports are said to include screams and crying, as well as mist that is seen falling through the stairwell. Ghosts include, an inmate, a workman, a female employee, and a visitor.

Anyone Famous?: Not that I can name off hand.

Open to Tourists?: Yes.

Other Haunts: Brother Sebastian’s Restaurant, Centennial Hall, Hummel Park, Nebraska Wesleyan University, Alliance Theater, Antelope Park, Ball Cemetery, Barnard Park, Blackbird Hill, Bailey House Museum, Devil’s Canyon, Fort Sidney Museum, Hastings College, Logan Creek Bridge, Neville Center for the Performing Arts, Platte County Historical Society and Museum, Seven Sisters Road, Holdrege Speakeasy, Warbonnet Creek Battlefield, Wayne State College

28. Nevada

In its heyday, Virginia City, Nevada was a boom town known for its rich silver deposits. Today it's almost entirely abandoned and relies almost entirely on tourism. And their ghost stories that have sprung up.

In its heyday, Virginia City, Nevada was a boom town known for its rich silver deposits. Today it’s almost entirely abandoned and relies almost entirely on tourism. And their ghost stories that have sprung up.

Most Haunted Place: Virginia City, Nevada

History: Sprang up as a boom town in 1859 due to the discovery of the Comstock Lode, the first major silver deposit discovery in the US. Had over 25,000 residents at its peak in 1862 and was called America’s richest city. One of its famous residents at the time was a young reporter for the local paper named Samuel Clemens. You know him as Mark Twain and he’d later write a novel named Roughing it set in the city. Was also a place of many fires, including a Great Fire in 1875. But as the mines’ output declined after 1878, the city declined. Its most recent population is estimated at 855.

Present Use: Well, it’s mostly a tourist town now, with its historic district drawing 2 million visitors a year.

Sightings: Well, since we’re talking about an entire town, there’s just so many reported haunting incidents to put in this. Some of the ghosts include a woman who killed her own baby before committing suicide, a bunch of dead miners who were killed in fire, a lady waving from a balcony, an Indian killed in saloon fight, a little girl run over by a wagon and her mother, a young woman in lavender, a smoking old man scowling, a schoolteacher, and a woman who died penniless and held séances to contact with her dead husband. Reported incidents include a pieces of metal and rock thrown at visitors, a moving gravestone, and a glowing gravestone.

Anyone Famous?: Not that I can name off hand.

Open to Tourists?: Yes, and supported by tourists, too.

Other Haunts: Abraham Curry House, Goldfield Hotel, Madame Tussaud’s Las Vegas Wax Museum, Zappos Building, Mustang Ranch, La Palazza Mansion, Bonnie Springs Ranch, Mizpah Hotel, Redd Foxx’s Las Vegas House, Nevada Governor’s Mansion, Boulder Dam Hotel, Whiskey Pete’s Hotel and Casino

29. New Hampshire

Pine Hill Cemetery was founded in 1769 on land donated by a man who had to sell his farm. It's said to have family that's been murdered in the 1800s but records don't hold that story up.

Pine Hill Cemetery was founded in 1769 on land donated by a man who had to sell his farm. It’s said to have family that’s been murdered in the 1800s but records don’t hold that story up.

Most Haunted Place: Pine Hill Cemetery in Hollis

History: Founded in 1769 on the land donated by Benjamin Parker Jr. who had to sell his farm. About 300 people are said to be buried there. Many of them in graves that are now currently unmarked.

Present Use: As far as I know, it’s still said to function as a cemetery.

Sightings: It’s said to be the most haunted cemetery of New England. Called “Blood Cemetery” because it’s alleged that the ghost of Abel Blood is said to roam the place as well as various members of his family (they were alleged to be murdered in the 1800s. However, records don’t support this since he and his family died at different times and different places, many of natural causes). A ghost of a little boy was said to try flagging down cars for some reason. Still, reported incidents include ghosts sitting on their own tombstones as well as one tombstone that appears to glow in the dark at night.

Anyone Famous?: No.

Open to Tourists?: Yes, but not at night like most cemeteries. And it’s heavily patrolled by police.

Other Haunts: Gibson Road Cemetery, Isles of Shoals, Mount Washington Hotel, Three Chimneys Inn, Alton Town Hall, Amos J. Blake House Museum, Dover Mills, University of New Hampshire, Toll Hill, Philbrick House, Meetinghouse Green Memorial Park, Nutmeg Inn, MacDowell Colony, Point of Graves Burial Ground, Rockingham Hotel

30. New Jersey

The Seabrook-Wilson House in Port Monmouth is one of the oldest homes in New Jersey and is subject to many legends. However, according to historians, it's more likely that this house had a long but unremarkable existence. And that much of the stories surrounding it might've been made up by a previous curator to save it.

The Seabrook-Wilson House in Port Monmouth is one of the oldest homes in New Jersey and is subject to many legends. However, according to historians, it’s more likely that this house had a long but unremarkable existence. And that much of the stories surrounding it might’ve been made up by a previous curator to save it.

Most Haunted Place: Seabrook-Wilson House in Port Monmouth

History: Built in 1663 by Thomas Whitlock where he lived with his family. The second family, the Seabrooks owned the place for 250 years. And its current structure was built in 1892 by Reverend William V. Wilson and his wife, Martha. From 1910-1970s it was said to operate as a hotel. And up to the 2000s, it served as a historical museum. But since the early 2000s, it’s been closed to the public until 2012.

Present Use: It still functions as a museum but only the first floor is open.

Sightings: Up to 22 ghosts are said to haunt this house including a woman in white, a minister alleged to privately practice Satanism, a bearded sea captain, and a young boy. It’s even alleged to be a spy house and tavern during the American Revolution.

Anyone Famous?: There are legends surrounding that Captain Morgan was known to hide treasure and conduct tortures in the house’s basement that had underground tunnels. And his ghost is said to threaten children visitors in the museum. However, the notion of Captain Morgan’s ghost frequenting a place in New Jersey just doesn’t make sense since he spent most of his life in the Caribbean and died as governor of Jamaica.

Open to Tourists?: Since 2012, only the first floor is opened to the public.

Other Haunts: Shades of Death Road, Burnt Mill Road, Cape May, Red Mill Museum Village, Flemington Union Hotel, Lakehurst Hangar No. 1, Leeds Point, The Devil’s Tree, Burlington County Prison, Proprietary House, Ringwood Manor, Essex County Hospital Center, Clinton Road, The Devil’s Tower in Alpine, Clifton Gates of Hell, Blairsden Mansion, Flanders Hotel

In These Haunted United States – Part 2: Hawaii to Maryland

Now we’re off to a great start. You might notice how some of these places might be familiar to you such as famous battlefields and other areas. I know that Alcatraz is a familiar place for anyone since it housed some of the notorious criminals in early 20th century America. It’s also used in a lot of movies as a filming location. Still, a lot of places might have their own ghost stories for whatever the reason. Sometimes it was a place where there were a lot of deaths and mistreatment like prisons, insane asylums, and battlefields. Sometimes it had a checkered past such as some of these mansions and hotels. Sometimes there might be a chance that some structure was built on top of an Indian burial ground. But occasionally, you might have a place with an alleged haunting for almost no reason at all like UAA’s auditorium. I mean other than Wendy Williamson, you don’t know why other ghosts would hang out there. Nevertheless, in this section, I’ll bring you another set of haunted places in the US. These will include a royal palace that was home to the last rulers of Hawaii’s monarchy, a state prison in Idaho, hotels in Illinois and Indiana, a home that was sight to a notorious murder in Iowa, a small house haunted by a mysterious girl in Kansas, a mental institution in Kentucky, a plantation in Louisiana, a lighthouse in Maine, and a Civil War battlefield in Maryland. So for your reading pleasure, I give you another installment of some of the most haunted places in the United States.

11. Hawaii

From 1845 to 1893, the Iolani Palace was home to the last rulers of the Hawaiian monarchy (and it's said that some of the royal family members still reside there as ghosts). Under US rule it would be used as the Hawaiian seat of government until 1969. It's the only royal palace on US soil.

From 1845 to 1893, the Iolani Palace was home to the last rulers of the Hawaiian monarchy (and it’s said that some of the royal family members still reside there as ghosts). Under US rule it would be used as the Hawaiian seat of government until 1969. It’s the only royal palace on US soil.

Most Haunted Place: ‘Iolani Palace in Honolulu

History: Constructed in 1845, it was the residence of the Hawaiian Royal Family from Kamehameha III to Queen Lili’uokalani. After the royal family was overthrown in 1893, it was used as the territorial and later state capitol until 1969.

Present Use: It’s now a museum for the public.

Sightings: It’s said that various royal ghosts have been seen or heard there.

Anyone Famous?: It’s been reported that the most frequent sightings have revolved around Queen Lili’uokalani.

Open to Tourists?: Yes.

Other Haunts: Hamakuapoko, Pounder Beach, Barber’s Point, Dole Cannery Signature Theaters,  Hilton Hawaii Village, Kaka’ako Fire Station, Morgan’s Corner, Nu’uanu, Sacred Heart Academy, State Capitol Building, Kahala Mall, Waikiki Parc Hotel, Waialae Drive-In Theaters, King Kamehameha’s Kona Beach Hotel, Waimano Building, Hickam Air Force Base

12. Idaho

During its operation, Boise's old Idaho State Penitentiary received over 13,000 prisoners. The most famous of these are a political assassin and a black widow serial killer. Closed over riots and poor living conditions.

During its operation, Boise’s old Idaho State Penitentiary received over 13,000 prisoners. The most famous of these are a political assassin and a black widow serial killer. Closed over riots and poor living conditions.

Most Haunted Place: Old Idaho State Penitentiary in Boise

History: Was a functional prison in the Western US from 1872-1973.  Received more than 13,000 inmates with maximum occupancy at about 600. 215 of the inmates were women. Saw 10 executions. Famous inmates were Harry Orchard who assassinated a former governor in 1905 and Lyda Southard, infamously known as Idaho’s Lady Bluebeard for killing several husbands for the life insurance. It was a place of violence and riots. Closed over riots due to horrible living conditions. It’s now owned by the Idaho Historical Society.

Present Use: It’s now a museum and contains an arboretum.

Sightings: There have been reports of footsteps, voices, shouts, and overwhelming emotional sensations. It’s been reported there was one death row inmate who jumped off the third floor is said to make his presence known by a greenish light and causing batteries to go dead.

Anyone Famous?: No.

Open to Tourists?: Yes.

Other Haunts: Farragut State Park, Harms Memorial Hospital, Joyce Building, Owyhee Mountains, Egyptian Theater, Idaho State University at Pocatello, Pete’s Tavern, Pioneer Boot Hill Cemetery

13. Illinois

Since its opening in 1893, Chicago's Congress Plaza Hotel has had a long and colorful history from protests to presidential guests. It's also been the place for a lot of haunted ghost sightings, including that of a hobo and a guy in disco attire.

Since its opening in 1893, Chicago’s Congress Plaza Hotel has had a long and colorful history from protests to presidential guests. It’s also been the place for a lot of haunted ghost sightings, including that of a hobo and a guy in disco attire.

Most Haunted Place: Congress Plaza Hotel in Chicago

History: First opened in 1893 for the World’s Columbian Exposition and has underwent two major expansions and renovations. It’s 11 stories with 871 guest rooms. In 1912, it was the sight of Teddy Roosevelt’s “Bull Moose” speech. In October 1916, Woodrow Wilson passed this hotel as part of his visit to the city where he was greeted by over 100 suffragette protestors from the National Women’s Party. They were attacked by a mob as police looked on and/or laughed. In 1932, it was FDR’s transition team headquarters. Known for its artwork by Louis Grell and for providing lodgings for several US presidents from Grover Cleveland to FDR. In 2003, about 130 members of UNITE HERE went on strike to proposed a 7% wage cut that soon became one of the world’s longest, ending in 2013. No concessions were given by management though Barack Obama briefly stood in the picket line in 2007. It’s now owned by a Syrian national.

Present Use: It’s still used as a hotel as I’ve seen on the website.

Sightings: Guests and employees have reported everything from apparitions and voices to the presence of a room so horrible that it’s been boarded over. Ghosts reported include a boy whose mother threw him out a window, a workman said to be buried in the walls during construction, a pegleg hobo who was murdered, a Spanish American War vet who shot himself, and a guy in disco attire.

Anyone Famous?: Well, some people have reported sightings of Al Capone and Teddy Roosevelt. It’s also alleged Jake “Greasy Thumb” Guzik’s ghost resides there as well. Of course the guy was one of Al Capone’s henchmen and is said to live there for several years. For those who want to know more about Guzik, check out my series on Boardwalk Empire since he’s a character on the show.

Open to Tourists?: Yes, if you can afford it.

Other Haunts: Ashmore Estates, Bachelor’s Grove Cemetery, Crenshaw House, Former Chicago Historical Society Building, Stickney House, St. Turbius Church, Aux Sable Cemetery, Scutt Mansion, Graceland Cemetery, Lincoln Theater, Eldred House, Tinker Swiss Cottage, Anderson Cemetery, Dana-Thomas House, Ninth Street Pub, St. Rita of Cascia, Leland Tower, Sheraton Gateway Suites, Desoto House Hotel, Woodstock Opera House, Blood’s Point Cemetery, House of Blues, Robinson Woods, Harrison Street Inn, Original Springs Mineral Spa and Hotel, Ruebel Hotel, Hotel Baker, Willowbrook Ballroom, Greenwood Cemetery, Benedictine University, St. George Antiochian Orthodox Church, Lincoln Square Theater, Massock Mausoleum, Three Mile House, Krome Family Cemetery, Red Lion Pub, Mineral Springs Hotel, Peoria State Hospital, Morton College, McPike Mansion, Clark Street Bridge, American Flight 191 Crash Site, Mount Carmel Cemetery, Waldheim Cemetery, McKendree University

14. Indiana

French Lick Springs Hotel was originally built for those who came to experience the healing benefits of the area's sulfur springs. Today it's now part of a casino resort complex. Of course, before then, it tended to get in trouble with the state for illegal gambling operations.

French Lick Springs Hotel was originally built for those who came to experience the healing benefits of the area’s sulfur springs. Today it’s now part of a casino resort complex. Of course, before then, it tended to get in trouble with the state for illegal gambling operations.

Most Haunted Place: French Lick Springs Hotel in French Lick

History: The resort was originally built for those who came to partake the advertised healing properties of the town’s sulfur springs. After the original hotel burned down in 1897, the current structure was constructed by DNC chair and Indianapolis mayor Thomas Taggart. Had been seized by the state government for illegal gambling. Famous guests include FDR (who announced his presidential campaign there) and Ronald Reagan.

Present Use: It’s now part of a larger casino resort complex.

Sightings: Many report hearing footsteps and voices. Some say there’s a ghost of an elevator attendant who helps out as well as one of a bride who committed suicide and a black bellhop. Not only that, but it’s said there are ghosts calling the front desk from empty rooms.

Anyone Famous?: It’s said to be haunted by original owner Thomas Taggart who’s been reported to operate the elevator when the place gets busy, appear riding a horse in the ballroom or down the halls, and hold ghostly parties.

Open to Tourists?: Yes, if you can afford it.

Other Haunts: Central State Hospital, Dunes State Park, Story Inn, Willard Library, Whispers Estate, Cry Baby Bridge, Fort Rouge Plant, Barber Hotel, Battle Field Memorial, Hoosier National Forest, Indiana University, Scales Lake, Old Sycamore Haunted Bridge, Chesterfield Christian Church, Cloverdale Cemetery, Adams County Cheese Factory, Eastland Mall, Lakeside Park, Franklin College, Bishop Noll Institute, St. Joseph’s Old Abandoned Catholic Church, Hanna House, House of Blue Lights, James Dean’s Grave, New Haven Historical City Hall

15. Iowa

Villisca's  Moore House was the site of an infamous unsolved murder that killed 8 people. Until 1994, previous owners would claim they saw a guy wielding an ax at the foot of their beds.

Villisca’s Moore House was the site of an infamous unsolved murder that killed 8 people. Until 1994, previous owners would claim they saw a guy wielding an ax at the foot of their beds.

Most Haunted Place: Josiah B. and Sara Moore House in Villisca

History: Built in 1868 and served as a private residence. Josiah and Sara Moore bought the house in 1903 and lived there until 1912. On June 9 of that year, all 6 members of the Moore household and 2 houseguests (both children) were bludgeoned to death by an axe at the residence. The murder remains unsolved. After the murders, went through possession 8 times until 1994 when the last owners decided to restore the house to its 1912 condition.

Present Use: Has been a local museum since the 1990s.

Sightings: Prior to the 1994 renovations, there were reports from former tenants claiming they saw a figure of an axe wielding man at the foot of their beds. Others report their kids waking up to the sounds of children crying. One dad reported that a knife forcefully stabbed him in the thumb. Other incidences included finding shoes filled with blood and a closet door opening and closing by itself.

Anyone Famous?: Well, other than the victims, no.

Open to Tourists?: Yes.

Other Haunts: Drake University, Independence State Hospital, Iowa State Penitentiary, Jordan House, Stony Hollow Road, Hotel Blackhawk, Cresco Theatre, KD Station, Tara Bridge, Mathias Ham House, Oakland Cemetery

16. Kansas

While it has changed hands as a private residence, the Sallie House is said to be haunted by a little girl named "Sallie" and an older woman said to be violent toward a male owner. Though vacant, it's still privately owned so I wouldn't recommend anyone to visit it.

While it has changed hands as a private residence, the Sallie House is said to be haunted by a little girl named “Sallie” and an older woman said to be violent toward a male owner. Though vacant, it’s still privately owned so I wouldn’t recommend anyone to visit it.

Most Haunted Place: The Sallie House in Atchison

History: Built in 1857 as a private residence. Has changed in various hands.

Present Use: As of 2015, it’s currently been vacant since 2004. Has been currently owned by a landlord since the 1990s so I guess it’s still being used as a residence.

Sightings: It’s reportedly been haunted by a little girl named “Sallie” who liked play little pranks and an older, unidentified woman who was violent toward a male owner.

Anyone Famous?: No.

Open to Tourists?: No.

Other Haunts: Atchison itself, Brown Grand Theater, Kansas Aviation Museum, Kansas State University, McConnell Air Force Base, Topeka High School, Wichita State University, Fort Leavenworth National Cemetery, Molly’s Hollow, St. Jacob’s Well, Theorosa’s Bridge, Hutchinson Public Library, Hamburger Hill, Potwin Place

17. Kentucky

Like Seaside, the Waverly Hills Sanatorium initially operated as a treatment center for TB patients before becoming a mental institution. And it was closed for similar reasons. However, unlike Seaside, the current owners are paranormal enthusiasts and want to convert this place into a hotel as far as I know.

Like Seaside, the Waverly Hills Sanatorium initially operated as a treatment center for TB patients before becoming a mental institution. And it was closed for similar reasons. However, unlike Seaside, the current owners are paranormal enthusiasts and want to convert this place into a hotel as far as I know.

Most Haunted Place: Waverly Hills Sanatorium in Louisville

History: Opened in 1910 as a tuberculosis sanatorium after the area was ravaged by an epidemic that prompted its construction.  After the sanatorium was closed in 1962, it was converted to a geriatric center, a nursing home for the elderly and mentally handicapped. The place was closed by the state due to patient neglect as is common in these environments of understaffed and overcrowded institutions. It’s said that thousands have died there, though it’s more likely 8,212.

Present Use: It has basically been abandoned until its current owners have decided to restore it and just happen to be paranormal enthusiasts. There are currently plans to convert the place into a 4 star hotel for the haunted hotel enthusiasts as well as regular patrons. However, it once hosted an extreme metal and metalcore festival in 2007. But it’s not likely to happen again due to complaints made by local residents.

Sightings: Many ghosts are said to haunt the place including children chanting “Ring Around the Rosey” on the roof, a nurse who committed suicide via jumping off the roof, a little girl playing hide and seek, a little boy playing ball, an old woman in chains, a man in a white coat and other ghosts treading down the halls. Others consist of various voices, a floating head, lights coming on without electricity, and a flicker of a TV screen.

Anyone Famous?: No.

Open to Tourists?: Not sure.

Other Haunts: Perryville Battlefield, Bob Mackey’s Music World, X Cave at Carter Caves, Raven Hill Cemetery, Old Louisville, House on Coon Branch, White Hall, Phillips’ Folly, Rocky Point Manor, Ditto House, Cave Hill Cemetery, Lick Creek Cemetery, Maple Hill Manor, Loudon House, Sherman’s Tavern, Old Greensburg Courthouse, Seelbach Hilton, Louisville Palace Theater, Mammoth Cave, Camp Zachary Taylor

18. Louisiana

The Myrtles Plantation in Louisiana has had its share of owners and incidences. Today it's operated as a bed and breakfast by paranormal enthusiasts.

The Myrtles Plantation in Louisiana has had its share of owners and incidences. Today it’s operated as a bed and breakfast by paranormal enthusiasts.

Most Haunted Place: The Myrtles Plantation in St. Francisville

History: Built in 1796 by General David Bradford who lived there until President John Adams pardoned him for his involvement in the Whiskey Rebellion (by the way, I actually went to Bradford’s house in Washington, PA). In 1817, his daughter and son-in-law Sarah and Clark Woodruff managed the plantation but she and two of their kids died in yellow fever epidemic during the early 1820s. When his mother-in-law died Clark and his surviving daughter moved out. In 1834, it was sold to Ruffin Gray Stirling who took an extensive remodeling project and doubled the size of the building. They had 9 children but 5 died young. Stirling died in 1854 and left the place to his wife Mary Cobb. In 1865, she hired son-in-law William Winter and he resided there with his wife Sarah and their 6 children, one of whom died of typhoid at 3. In 1871, Winter was shot at his porch by E.S. Webber and died within minutes on the 17th step of the stairs. Sarah died in 1878 while her mother Mary died in 1880 and the plantation passed to her Stephen. However, the place was heavily in debt and it changed hands several times until it was bought by current owners James and Frances Kermeen Myers.

Present Use: Currently a bed and breakfast offering historical and mystery tours.

Sightings: It is supposedly the home of at least 12 ghosts usually consisting of previous residents and slaves. It’s said that visitors and employees still hear William Winter’s dying footsteps to this day. It’s also reputed to be built over an Indian burial ground. Another reported seeing Sara Woodruff and her two dead children through a mirror. Other ghosts include a slave woman in a green turban, a young Native American woman, a young girl who died in 1868, and of two slaves asking to do any chores.

Anyone Famous?: No.

Open to Tourists?: Yes.

Other Haunts: Central Louisiana State Hospital, Le Petit Theatre du Vieux Carre, Louisiana State Penitentiary, Magnolia Plantation, Le Beau Mansion, Tomb of Marie Laveau, Caddo Parish Penal Farm, Bonnie and Clyde Ambush Site, Marian Grotto of Our Lady of Lourdes, Elise Reus Memorial School, Manchac Swamp

19. Maine

Maine's Wood Island Lighthouse might seem to have an uneventful history. However, in 1896 it was the scene of a drifter killing a deputy sheriff and committing suicide. It's said his moans and footsteps are often heard. Why Stephen King doesn't write something about this I'll never know. Seriously, Maine is the guy's home state for God's sake.

Maine’s Wood Island Lighthouse might seem to have an uneventful history. However, in 1896 it was the scene of a drifter killing a deputy sheriff and committing suicide. It’s said his moans and footsteps are often heard. Why Stephen King doesn’t write something about this I’ll never know. Seriously, Maine is the guy’s home state for God’s sake.

Most Haunted Place: Wood Island Lighthouse in Wood Island

History: A 47ft tall conical white tower of granite rubble lighthouse. It’s the second oldest in Maine and 11th oldest in the nation. Established in 1808 but its current structure was erected in 1858. In March 1865, Lightkeeper Eben Emerson saved the crew of the British brig Edyth Anne from drowning in a heavy storm and was commended by the Canadian government with a reward of binoculars. Another lightkeeper had a dog named Sailor who became famous for ringing the station’s fog bell to greet passing ships by taking the belt cord in its mouth and pulling it with his teeth. Currently maintained by the United States Coast Guard and The Friends of Wood Island Light.

Present Use: It’s still used as a lighthouse to this day as well as a historical site.

Sightings: In 1896, a drifter shot and killed a local deputy sheriff and then went to the lighthouse to kill himself. It’s said his moans and footsteps are often heard, as well as shadows with a human form. Locked doors are also known to somehow open by themselves.

Anyone Famous?: No.

Open to Tourists?: Yes, but they only offer seasonal tours though.

Other Haunts: Camden Hills, Captain Fairfield’s Inn, Fort Knox, Southern Maine Community College, University of Southern Maine, West Side Lake, York Village Historical Museum, Strand Cinema, Boothbay Opera House, Captain Lord Mansion, Ellis Pond, Fort William Henry, Beckett’s Castle, Maine State Prison

20. Maryland

Antietam was the first battle in the American Civil War to take place on Union soil and one that experience the most losses in a single day. Though it was a strategic Union victory, it was tactically inconclusive. And it was a rather lucky break for McClellan. Today it's a national battlefield in Maryland. But sometimes I tend to call it, "Maryland's Gettysburg."

Antietam was the first battle in the American Civil War to take place on Union soil and one that experience the most losses in a single day. Though it was a strategic Union victory, it was tactically inconclusive. And it was a rather lucky break for McClellan. Today it’s a national battlefield in Maryland. But sometimes I tend to call it, “Maryland’s Gettysburg.”

Most Haunted Place: Antietam Battlefield in Sharpsburg

History: Site of the Battle of Antietam on September 17, 1862, which marked Robert E. Lee’s first northern invasion and George B. McClellan’s lucky break. Still, neither side really gained anything from it. It was the bloodiest single day battle in the American Civil War with a combined tally of dead, wounded, or missing at 22,717.

Present Use: It’s now a national park with 330,000 visiting the place each year.

Sightings: Many visitors have reported seeing apparitions in uniforms as well as hearing cannon and gunfire. Blue balls of light, disembodied voices, orbs, phantom drumming, and strange mists have also been reported.

Anyone Famous?: Not that I can name off hand.

Open to Tourists?: Yes.

Other Haunts: Auburn House, Chestnut Lodge, University of Maryland Morrill Hall, Point Lookout Lighthouse, Westminster Hall and Burying Ground, Dr. Mudd’s House, Jonathan Hager House, Maryland State House, Bachelor’s Point, Decoursey Bridge, St. Paul’s Cemetery, Kitty Knight House, Fort McHenry, Baltimore County Almshouse

In These Haunted United States – Part 1: Alabama to Georgia

Note: Since stories about hauntings have ambiguous authenticity, I’ll put them under urban legends just for convenience. In fact, some of them might be outright hoaxes but are part of the haunted American tradition just in case. Besides, I’m more interested in doing the places anyway than talking about the ghost stuff. Yet, I do think the ghost stuff is interesting even though I don’t believe in anything pertaining to the occult or paranormal.

As we all know Halloween is upon us and for many going to a haunted house is a long time tradition. Of course, there are plenty of people who pay to be scared by ghosts and monsters but I’m not one of them. However, there are plenty of places in the United States that have their own ghost stories and alleged paranormal activity that’s the stuff of urban legend and folklore. Some of these places are open to the public and can be visited by tourists with no problem. Some still remain private property and ask that horror afficionados keep out. Others are abandoned and wish tourists keep out just for their own safety. In this series, I’ll cover some of the most haunted locations in the country according to each state. And there’s a chance some might contain more frights than others. In each section, I’ll cover significant hauntings of ten states. This one, we look at a blast furnace in Alabama, a college auditorium in Alaska, an Old West titty bar in Arizona, a hotel and onetime ladie’s school and medical resort in Arkansas, a notorious prison in California, a hotel in Colorado, a mental institution in Connecticut, a fort in Delaware, a theater in Florida, and an old hotel that was used as a military hospital in Georgia. So for your reading pleasure, enjoy my first section of haunted sites in the United States.

  1. Alabama
Originally built to promote railroad development, Birmingham's Sloss Furnaces was one of the biggest producers of pig iron in the country during its operation. Since OSHA regulations didn't exist at the time, it was a dangerous workplace. So it's reputation as a haunt isn't so surprising.

Originally built to promote railroad development, Birmingham’s Sloss Furnaces was one of the biggest producers of pig iron in the country during its operation. Since OSHA regulations didn’t exist at the time, it was a dangerous workplace. So it’s reputation as a haunt isn’t so surprising.

Most Haunted Place: Sloss Furnaces in Birmingham

History: It was a pig iron blast furnace that operated from 1882-1971. Founded by Colonel James Withers Sloss in order to promote a railroad development. At one time, it produced 25% of the nation’s iron and steel. Given that it existed in an era of no OSHA regulations, you can imagine how dangerous working there could result in accidental deaths, loss of limbs, and other misfortunes.

Present Use: It’s the only blast furnace in the country to be preserved and restored for public use. It’s now a museum and has a nationally recognized metal arts program. Also hosts a barbecue cookoff, concerts, and Muse of Fire shows.

Sightings: It’s reported that screams, odd noises, apparitions, and even the malevolent ghost of a former foreman haunt this place. There are also stories of limbless ghosts.

Anyone Famous?: No.

Open to Tourists?: Yes, and it’s a big haunted attraction and hosts a ghost tour on Halloween.

Other Haunts: Boyington Oak, Gaineswood, Kenworthy Hall, Pickens County Courthouse, Prat Hall at Huntington College, Richards DAR House, Oakleigh, Adams Grove Presbyterian Church, Sweetwater Mansion, Auburn University Chapel, East Lake Park, Rocky Hill Castle, Sturdivant Hall

  1. Alaska
UAA's Wendy Williamson Auditorium hasn't been around long. But it's said to be a key hangout for Alaskan ghosts for some reason. Yet, only the presences late Wendy Williamson's spirit makes any sense. After all, the guy was a musician and professor as well as had the building named after him.

UAA’s Wendy Williamson Auditorium hasn’t been around long. But it’s said to be a key hangout for Alaskan ghosts for some reason. Yet, only the presences late Wendy Williamson’s spirit makes any sense. After all, the guy was a musician and professor as well as had the building named after him.

Most Haunted Place: UAA’s Wendy Williamson Auditorium in Anchorage

History: It was built in 1973. However, it’s said to contain odd features such as doors that lead to nowhere, unused elevator shafts, and a catwalk that serves no purpose. Other than that, it’s mostly what you’d expect of any college auditorium.

Present Use: Still very much used for the same purpose it was originally built for such as hosting events, lectures, and concerts.

Sightings: It’s said that footsteps and voices are often heard. Ghosts consist of a woman in a white dress, an aggressive man, a teenage boy, a local professor, and children. The aggressive man is reported to shove brunette women down stairwells or pull their hair. There are also reports of flying objects, exploding lights, disembodied voices, shadow figures, water and lights that turn on by themselves, etc.

Anyone Famous?: Well, in a local capacity. It’s said that its namesake John Wendell “Wendy” Williamson haunts there. He was a musician and professor of the school. He’s rumored to play piano in the lobby. Still, his haunting in the building is the most understandable.

Open to Tourists?: Not sure.

Other Haunts: Dimond Center, Red Onion Saloon, Historic Silverbow Inn, Golden North Hotel, Kennecott Copper Mines, West High School in Anchorage, Whittier, Ship Creek, Historic Anchorage Hotel

  1. Arizona
Originally set up to present respectable family entertainment in Tombstone, the Bird Cage Theatre's original owners soon realized the town economics didn't support their aspirations. So it was turned to the Old West equivalent to a titty bar with a gambling area and brothel. Said to have 26 people killed in brawls and their spirits are alleged to lurk there to its day. Still, the wax figures make this places look creepy enough from the inside.

Originally set up to present respectable family entertainment in Tombstone, the Bird Cage Theatre’s original owners soon realized the town economics didn’t support their aspirations. So it was turned to the Old West equivalent to a titty bar with a gambling area and brothel. Said to have 26 people killed in brawls and their spirits are alleged to lurk there to its day. Still, the wax figures make this places look creepy enough from the inside.

Most Haunted Place: Bird Cage Theatre in Tombstone

History: It was a theater, saloon, gambling parlor, and brothel that operated between 1881 and 1889, during the height of the silver boom. Had 14 cribs that hung from the ceiling. Owned by variety performers Lottie and William “Billy” Hutchinson who originally wanted to present respectable family shows like they saw in San Francisco. But the town’s economics didn’t support their aspirations so they basically made it a titty bar for the rough mining crowd. Saw 26 people killed in brawls with 140 bullet holes remaining in the building. Doc Holliday, Wyatt Earp, William Randolph Hearst, Curly Bill Broncius, Diamond Jim Brady, Bat Masterson, and Johnny Ringo all visited there. It wasn’t a place to bring your kids. After it closed in 1892, it wouldn’t be reopened or disturbed until 1934.

Present Use: It’s now a museum and sometimes a movie location.

Sightings: Visitors and staff have reported eerie music, laughter, and shouts echoing through the building as well as ghosts of cowboys and prostitutes. Some have reported they could still smell odors of cigars and whiskey.

Anyone Famous?: Curly Bill Broncius is most likely since he was killed there. And it’s said there were 26 male ghosts at the place.

Open to Tourists?: Yes. Opened year round from 8:00 a.m. until dusk.

Other Haunts: Boot Hill, Copper Queen Hotel, Gadsden Hotel, Monte Vista Hotel, Vulture Mine, NAU’s Morton Hall, Arizona State Prison Complex, Oliver House, Thornton Road Domes, Jerome Grand Hotel, Casey Moore’s Oyster House, Hotel San Carlos, Hermosa Inn, Hotel Congress, Canyon de Chelly, Fox Theatre, Pointe Hilton Tapatio Cliffs Resort, Crowne Plaza San Marcos, Hannagan Meadow Lodge, Hotel St. Michael, Pioneer Hotel, Connor Hotel, Sonoita Inn, El Tovar Hotel, San Xavier del Bac, Bisbee Courthouse, The Weatherford Hotel

  1. Arkansas
Ever since it opened in 1886, the Cresent Hotel in Eureka Springs has mostly been used as a hotel (and still is). However, it did operate as a school for young women in the early 20th century. Not only that, but it had a interesting time as a medical resort under noted quack Norman G. Baker. Let's just say that guy has a rather interesting story.

Ever since it opened in 1886, the Cresent Hotel in Eureka Springs has mostly been used as a hotel (and still is). However, it did operate as a school for young women in the early 20th century. Not only that, but it had a interesting time as a medical resort under noted quack Norman G. Baker. Let’s just say that guy has a rather interesting story.

Most Haunted Place: The Crescent Hotel and Spa in Eureka Springs

History: Opened in 1886 as a year-round resort hotel for rich people. It had its own in-house orchestra and hosted a lot of dance parties. It also held picnics, hiking, streetcar rides, and popular Tally-ho rides to Sanitarium Lake or some other attraction. Cost was $294,000. From 1908-1934, it was a college for rich girls. And between 1937 and 1940, it was operated as Baker’s Cancer Curing Hospital when it was owned by purple enthusiast, inventor, radio personality, and quack Norman G. Baker. He was later put in prison. In 1967, it was nearly burned to the ground. In 1997, its owner Marty Roenigk died in a car accident. His widow still owns the hotel to this day.

Present Use: It’s still operating as a hotel, but it’s open to everyone willing to pay.

Sightings: Seen as the most haunted hotel in America. It’s said to be haunted by several spirits including a young woman who died falling from the roof, a nurse pushing a gurney, a staff doctor, a stonemason who slipped off the roof, a cancer victim, as well as several former guests and owners.

Anyone Famous?: Well, it’s none other than owner Norman G. Baker. A millionaire entrepreneur, radio broadcaster, and inventor who secured fame as well as state and federal prison terms by promoting a supposed cure for cancer in the 1930s. Created the Tangley calliaphone, which is an air blown musical instrument. Owned a radio station in Iowa and Mexico. He’s probably the white haired one with hypnotic eyes wearing a white suit, lavender tie, and purple shirt. Said to drive an orchid color car and desecrate the Crescent Hotel’s walls with his favorite colors. Also known to be one of the most ruthless quacks in American history as well as a precursor to the radio “shock jock.” Hollywood needs to make a movie about this guy.

Open to Tourists?: Yes. You can even stay there (if you can afford it). You can even get married there if you want, too. They also have ghost tours.

Other Haunts: Fort Chaffee, King Opera House, Prairie Grove Battlefield, McCollum-Chidister Hotel, Powhatan Courthouse, Desha County Courthouse, Old State House, Rush-Gates House

  1. California
While Hollywood is home to the most famous movie stars, Alcatraz Island was home to some of the most notorious criminals during its time as a federal prison. Noted inmates include Al Capone, Robert Stroud (known as "Birdman of Alcatraz"), James "Whitey" Bulger, George "Machine Gun" Kelly, Mickey Cohen, and Alvin "Creepy" Karpis. It's alleges their spirits haunt the place.

While Hollywood is home to the most famous movie stars, Alcatraz Island was home to some of the most notorious criminals during its time as a federal prison. Noted inmates include Al Capone, Robert Stroud (known as “Birdman of Alcatraz”), James “Whitey” Bulger, George “Machine Gun” Kelly, Mickey Cohen, and Alvin “Creepy” Karpis. It’s alleges their spirits haunt the place.

Most Haunted Place: Alcatraz Island in San Francisco

History: It’s a small island with developed facilities for a lighthouse, military fortification, military prison, and federal prison. Named by Spanish explorer Juan Manuel de Ayala who named it La Isla de los Alcatraces or “Island of the Pelicans.” Was also a place for a major Native American protest in 1969-1970. Has the oldest lighthouse on the West Coast which was built in 1846. Was a military garrison in its early years when California was added to the United States and was home to Civil War prisoners as early as 1861.  After the war, it was used as a military prison which housed Confederates caught on the West Coast, Hopi men in the 1870s, as well as POWs and conscientious objectors like Philip Grosser. While it was known for being harsh to hardened criminals, it basically functioned in a minimum security capacity during its military prison phase. In the event of the San Francisco Earthquake, it also housed the city’s criminals as well. From 1933-1963, it was designated federal prison which housed Al Capone, Robert Stroud, George “Machine Gun” Kelly, Bumpy Johnson, Puerto Rican terrorist Rafael Miranda, Mickey Cohen, Arthur “Doc” Barker, James “Whitey” Bulger, Roy Gardner, Henri Young, and Alvin “Creepy” Karpis. Also provided housing for the prison staff and families. Saw several escape attempts with the possibility of 5 inmates being successful. It’s best remembered as a federal prison with an infamous reputation. Ceased federal penitentiary operations due to structural deterioration (saltwater damage and corrosion), government budget cuts, rising costs of running the prison, and diminishing security measures.

Present Use: Museum and film site. American Indian groups hold ceremonies there, particularly on Columbus Day and Thanksgiving.

Sightings: People have reported screams, sounds of violent fights, doors slamming, and people being shoved or scratched. C-Block is said to be haunted by a prisoner who was killed in the laundry room. It’s said that James A. Johnston himself is reported to see ghosts there. And prisoners have reported seeing ghosts of Native American prisoners and officials who perished during the American Civil War.

Anyone Famous?: Well, one park ranger claimed he heard Al Capone practicing his banjo in the showers. George “Machine Gun” Kelly and Alvin “Creepy” Karpis have also been sighted. One couple reported hearing canaries from Robert Stroud’s cell (despite that Stroud was never allowed to keep any birds on Alcatraz).

Open to Tourists?: Yes. You can even take a cruise there.

Other Haunts: USS Hornet, Mission San Jose, Preston School of Industry, Hotel Leger, Battery Point Lighthouse, Wolfe Manor, Amargosa Opera House and Hotel, American Idol Mansion, Barney’s Beanery, The Comedy Store, Fort MacArthur, Pico House, Hollywood, Hollywood Forever Cemetery, Chateau Marmont, Lincoln Heights Jail, Linda Vista Community Hospital, Universal Studios, RMS Queen Mary, Hollywood Roosevelt Hotel, Vogue Theater, Dominican University of California, Bodie, Point Sur Lighthouse, Tor House and Hawk Tower, National Exchange Hotel, Holbrooke Hotel, Mission San Juan Capistrano, Disneyland, El Adobe de Capistrano, Black Star Canyon, Yost Theater, Mission Inn, Old Sacramento, Hotel de Coronado, Whaley House, Casa de Estudillo, Mission San Miguel, Moss Beach Distillery, La Purisima Mission, Winchester Mystery House, Olivias Adobe, Elizabeth Bard Memorial Hospital, Glen Tavern Inn

  1. Colorado
Estes Park's Stanley Hotel has a reputation for its haunts that it served as an inspiration for Stephen King's The Shining. Of course, I'm sure King's stay at the hotel didn't lead him to lose his mind and attack his family. But the guy does have a warped imagination.

Estes Park’s Stanley Hotel has a reputation for its haunts that it served as an inspiration for Stephen King’s The Shining. Of course, I’m sure King’s stay at the hotel didn’t lead him to lose his mind and attack his family. But the guy does have a warped imagination.

Most Haunted Place: The Stanley Hotel in Estes Park

History: Originally a hotel for rich people that opened in 1909 and founded by F. O. Stanley who was famous for the Stanley Steamer after he was recommended to go out west due to suffering tuberculosis. Once had a golf course and an ice pond. Stanley also set up the town’s bank as well as developed a sewer, water, and power company. And he’s said to help restore wildlife to the area.

Present Use: It’s still a hotel but it’s also a museum, too. There’s also plans for a horror museum by the way.

Sightings: This place was the original inspiration for Stephen King’s The Shining. Staff and guests often report hearing parties in the empty ballroom as well as someone playing the piano, thought to be the former owner’s wife. One room is said to contain ghosts of children and a housekeeper. Stephen King said he witnessed some of this while on vacation with his family.

Anyone Famous?: Well, F. O. and Flora Stanley are said to appear in formal attire on the main staircase and areas. Another is the Earl of Dunraven who previously owned the land before Stanley.

Open to Tourists?: Yes, if you can afford it.

Other Haunts: Hotel Jerome, Osgood Castle, Pioneer Park, Molly Brown House, Brown Palace Hotel, Central City Masonic Cemetery, St. Cloud Hotel, Imperial Hotel, Cheesman Park, Fitzsimons Army Hospital, Blackhawk, Stage Coach Country Inn, Onaledge

  1. Connecticut
Though originally built as a tuberculosis treatment center for children, Waterford's Seaside Sanatorium had a reputation for a high suicide rate and abuse while it was a mental institution. Now abandoned, there are plans to tear it down.

Though originally built as a tuberculosis treatment center for children, Waterford’s Seaside Sanatorium had a reputation for a high suicide rate and abuse while it was a mental institution. Now abandoned, there are plans to tear it down.

Most Haunted Place: Seaside Sanatorium in Waterford

History: Built in in 1934, it was one of the first institution designed for heliotropic treatment of children with tuberculosis. Since the 1940s, it’s been home to several different medical facilities, including an old folk’s home and the most notorious mental institution. The mental asylum exhibited a high suicide rate and was subject to a string of abuse cases. Designed by famous architect Cass Gilbert who also designed the building for the US Supreme Court.

Present Use: Currently none, since it’s been passed through the hands of a few developers from 1996. However, there have been plans to tear the place down (either to replace with condos or a state park). As of today, it remains abandoned and boarded up.

Sightings: There are plenty of apparitions and voices reported there. Spirit orb photos have also been taken.

Anyone Famous?: No.

Open to Tourists?: The grounds are open to the public, but the building isn’t.

Other Haunts: Bara-Hack, Dudleytown, Hartford Conservatory, New London Ledge Lighthouse, Remington Arms, Union Cemetery, Fairfiled Hills State Hospital, Norwich State Hospital, Little People’s Village, Gunntown Cemetery, Hanna Cranna’s Grave, Penfield Reef Lighthouse, Phelps Mansion, Mansfield Training School, Savoy Hotel and Majestic Theater, Sterling Opera House, Yankee Pedlar Inn, Downs Road, Hookman’s Cemetery, Midnight Mary’s Grave

  1. Delaware
While Fort Delaware experienced military activity as early as the War of 1812, it's best known for being a Civil War military prison. Continued military operations until after WWII.

While Fort Delaware experienced military activity as early as the War of 1812, it’s best known for being a Civil War military prison. Continued military operations until after WWII.

Most Haunted Place: Fort Delaware in Pea Patch Island

History: A fortress where its military activity dates back to the War of 1812. It was designed by chief engineer Joseph Gilbert Totten. It was used by the Union Army during the American Civil War as a military prison for Confederate POWs, federal convicts, and privateer officers. It’s said that it held as many as 33,000 prisoners with 2,500 died. Disease was the leading killer. But people did try to escape. In 1878, it had been struck by a massive hurricane that destroyed the south side and partially damaged Trinity Chapel. In 1885, the post-war hospital was struck by a tornado. It continued military operations until 1947.

Present Use: It’s now a living history museum and state park.

Sightings: It’s said that many soldiers from the Civil War still haunt the fort with full body apparitions, footsteps, and voices all widely reported.

Anyone Famous?: No.

Open to Tourists?: Yes.

Other Haunts: Delaware Governor’s Mansion, Cooches Bridge, Belmont Hall, Deer Park Tavern, Camp Arrowhead, Memorial Hall, Dickinson Mansion

  1. Florida
Built in 1927, Jacksonville's Florida Theatre is said to be one of only 4 high style movie palaces in the state. Now it's a live theater and event center. Best known performance there was an Elvis Presley concert.

Built in 1927, Jacksonville’s Florida Theatre is said to be one of only 4 high style movie palaces in the state. Now it’s a live theater and event center. Best known performance there was an Elvis Presley concert.

Most Haunted Place: Florida Theatre in Jacksonville

History: Built in 1927 and is said to be one of only 4 remaining high style movie palaces in the state. However, it later ceased operations as a movie house though but they also used it for live events, too. It’s said that even Elvis Presley performed there once in the 1950s.

Present Use: Used as a performance venue where they hold concerts and shows.

Sightings: It’s said that there were as many as 50 spirits reported there.

Anyone Famous?: No.

Open to Tourists?: Yes, but you won’t be able to see any movies there.

Other Haunts: Casa Monica Hotel, Bitmore Hotel, Fort Cooper, Leaf Theater, Veda Mound, University of South Florida Library, Ponce de Leon Hotel, Boston House, Royalty Theater, Orange Blossom Trail, Old Amelia Island Jail, Gibson Inn, Old Polk County Courthouse, Twin Ponds, Black Creek Cemetery, Coon Hill Cemetery, Krome Insane Asylum, Miami River Inn, Curtis Mansion, Oviedo, Sunland Hospital, Crampton Brewery, Timberchase Apartments, Harder Hall, Al Capone’s House, Anastasia Island Lighthouse, St. Francis Inn, Florida Sunshine Skyway Bridge, Umatilla Cemetery, Annie Russell Theatre

  1. Georgia
The Kennesaw House has served a variety of purposes in its operation. Originally built as a warehouse, it was used as a hotel, Civil War hospital, shops, offices, and a restaurant. Today it's a museum and home to the Marietta Historical Society.

The Kennesaw House has served a variety of purposes in its operation. Originally built as a warehouse, it was used as a hotel, Civil War hospital, shops, offices, and a restaurant. Today it’s the Marietta Museum of History.

Most Haunted Place: Kennesaw House in Marietta

History: One of the town’s oldest buildings which was constructed in 1845. Though it was intended to be a cotton warehouse, it was turned into a hotel in 1855. Was where the Great Locomotive Chase began in 1862. During the American Civil War, it served as a Confederate hospital and was spared from Sherman’s Atlanta Campaign mainly because the owner was a Mason and his son-in-law was a Union spy. It was taken over by the Union Army instead (but the 4th floor did catch fire). In 1920, the first floor was converted into retail shops until 1979, when the top floors were converted into offices and the bottom became the Brickworks restaurant. The building would soon be turned over to the Marietta Museum of History who owns it to this day.

Present Use: Now houses the Marietta Museum of History.

Sightings: Hundreds of wounded Confederate soldiers have been reported to still haunt the place. One tells how a group in an elevator somehow ended up stopping at the basement where they saw soldiers in their hospital beds.

Anyone Famous?: No.

Open to Tourists?: Yes.

Other Haunts: Moon River Brewing Company, Springer Opera House, Colonial Park Cemetery, Sorrell-Weed House, Savannah’s Madison Square, Bonaventure Cemetery, Old Candler Hospital, Perkins & Sons Candlery, Old Pink House, Marshall House, Kehoe House, Willis-Jones House, Windsor Hotel, Booth House, Hay House, Ansley Park

The Wonderful World of Flower Gardens

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While it’s popularly know that April showers bring May flowers, you can’t really say that spring has sprung until you see the flowers, which really don’t seem to come up until May. Well, at least as far as the perennials go. Nevertheless, May is basically the time of year when people really pay attention to their gardens whether it be weeding or finding new flowers to plant. Now flower gardens have existed for centuries adorning the lawns of the grand estates and castles. And the Brits almost treat gardening as a state religion since gardening over there is serious business. Sure it was a way for aristocrats to show off their wealth since they had other people taking care of the landscape. Now it’s mostly seen as either a hobby or a chore for ordinary gardeners who love to see flowers adorn their place. My house in particular is covered with ivy because my parents though the brown brick work was ugly. However, most of time, they usually try to plant flowers that can withstand the elements because southwestern Pennsylvania is no paradise. It helps that it rains a lot during the warmer months along with every other month. Let’s just say the precipitation in the area does PennDOT and drivers no favors since summer is basically road season. Anyway, there are some places where the fine art of gardening is taken to an art form. So without further adieu, here are some of unique gardens out there.

1. Looks like someone spilled the flowers.

This is part of the Miracle Garden in Dubai which is one of the largest public gardens in the world as well perhaps runs among the world's highest water bills. You'll see a lot of scenes from this place since it's like a garden theme park.

This is part of the Miracle Garden in Dubai which is one of the largest public gardens in the world as well perhaps runs among the world’s highest water bills. You’ll see a lot of scenes from this place since it’s like a garden theme park.

2. Of course, you may like adorning your house with flowers. But have you ever seen a flower house?

Of course, this is also in Dubai, where greenery like this is expensive as hell to look after. Still, like the lovely cars in the corner.

Of course, this is also in Dubai, where greenery like this is expensive as hell to look after. Still, like the lovely cars in the corner.

3. Heard of flower power? I give you flowered owls.

I wonder whoo is responsible for taking care of these?  Still, they are quite beautiful and colorful despite being mostly green.

I wonder whoo is responsible for taking care of these? Still, they are quite beautiful and colorful despite being mostly green.

4. If you have an antique car that doesn’t work anymore, may I suggest planting flowers under the hood.

Seems like that old Volkswagen Beetle now has a new life as a flower planter. Of course, I wonder if neighbors still see it as a piece of junk.

Seems like that old Volkswagen Beetle now has a new life as a flower planter. Of course, I wonder if neighbors still see it as a piece of junk.

5. Go into the forest with Bambi and his friends in the botanical gardens at Walt Disney World.

I've actually been to Disney World for a marching band trip in high school. I'm sure this display is in the animal kingdom since that's certainly not Splash Mountain.

I’ve actually been to Disney World for a marching band trip in high school. I’m sure this display is in the animal kingdom since that’s certainly not Splash Mountain.

6. When your shitter don’t work anymore, perhaps repurpose your commodes for flowers.

Hey, I'm sure toilets might make okay planters. I mean they're made from porcelain and have several open containers to them. And in some situations, I'm sure they'll benefit from some organic fertilizer.

Hey, I’m sure toilets might make okay planters. I mean they’re made from porcelain and have several open containers to them. And in some situations, I’m sure they’ll benefit from some organic fertilizer.

7. Nothing beautifies a flower garden more than putting your flowers in a wheelbarrow.

Now this is a beautiful picture. However, many people with wheelbarrows can't do this since they actually use them for other things, like yard work.

Now this is a beautiful picture. However, many people with wheelbarrows can’t do this since they actually use them for other things, like yard work.

8. What would a butterfly garden be without a flower butterfly?

Now I'm sure this won't intimidate butterflies. But if the butterflies come, it might attract collectors who kill them with nail polish remover to put in their collections.

Now I’m sure this won’t intimidate butterflies. But if the butterflies come, it might attract collectors who kill them with nail polish remover to put in their collections.

9. If you have a Volkswagen, why not decorate the whole thing with flowers?

For some reason, I can't help thinking that this car is high on something. And I'm not sure if it's Miracle Gro.

For some reason, I can’t help thinking that this car is high on something. And I’m not sure if it’s Miracle Gro.

10. I’ve heard how some hippie vans contain pot plants, but this isn’t what I’ve had in mind.

Behold, the flowery van fit for any flower child. Of course, you probably can't drive this thing if you wanted to. Might you might get high in it.

Behold, the flowery van fit for any flower child. Of course, you probably can’t drive this thing if you wanted to. Might you might get high in it.

11. In the Netherlands, you need a garden park with tulips, just because.

This is from Amsterdam. Not sure if it's a botanical garden or park because tulips are very big in the Netherlands.

This is from Amsterdam. Not sure if it’s a botanical garden or park because tulips are very big in the Netherlands.

12. Mr. Jolly Green Giant, meet your dream girl.

Of course, she tends to have a lot of flowers in her hair and lives near a waterfall. This is from the botanical gardens in Atlanta.

Of course, she tends to have a lot of flowers in her hair and lives near a waterfall. This is from the botanical gardens in Atlanta.

13. If you like dollhouses, you can make a little garden scene in a pot.

Now this is a quaint scene with a little house, clothes line, swing, and path. But I'm sure the flowers are all regular sized.

Now this is a quaint scene with a little house, clothes line, swing, and path. But I’m sure the flowers are all regular sized.

14. What giant garden statue woman wouldn’t be without her water birds?

I'm sure this is from a botanical garden in Montreal. I'm sure those birds aren't native since I don't remember seeing them from the Audobon book.

I’m sure this is from a botanical garden in Montreal. I’m sure those birds aren’t native since I don’t remember seeing them from the Audobon book.

15. Of course, you can’t have a flower garden without giant peacocks.

This is from a botanical gardens in Iran from what I can see. Nevertheless, these peacocks wouldn't have colors like that in the wild.

This is from a botanical gardens in Iran from what I can see. Nevertheless, these peacocks wouldn’t have colors like that in the wild.

16. If you like flowers, why not have them on a canvas?

This is from the Bellagio Botanical Gardens in Las Vegas. Or as I called it, "the only place in Vegas that's worth visiting." Seriously, that's a work of art there.

This is from the Bellagio Botanical Gardens in Las Vegas. Or as I called it, “the only place in Vegas that’s worth visiting.” Seriously, that’s a work of art there.

17. If you can’t use that old bright color chair anymore, perhaps put a flower pot in it.

Not sure if the pot and chair were spray painted or not. Either way, the flowers are certainly pretty.

Not sure if the pot and chair were spray painted or not. Either way, the flowers are certainly pretty.

18. Want blue flowers in your path? Try this.

Now this garden only consists of daffodils, tulips, and violets. Still, a rather beautiful sight if you think about it.

Now this garden only consists of daffodils, tulips, and violets. Still, a rather beautiful sight if you think about it.

19. Of course, all garden plots should be bordered by hedges.

However, you can't make the shrubbery grow too much. And I'm sure this set up sets a low limit.

However, you can’t make the shrubbery grow too much. And I’m sure this set up sets a low limit. Still, it’s quite pretty.

20. When it’s spring, the trees in the garden have to have different color leaves and flowers.

Now this is from a botanical garden in Canada, possibly in the Pacific Northwest. This picture was probably taken during the early spring but it's quite a stunning sight.

Now this is from a botanical garden in Canada, possibly in the Pacific Northwest. This picture was probably taken during the early spring but it’s quite a stunning sight.

21. Got tin cans, why not use them as flower pots?

Sure cans might make good flower pots but I'm positive that size does matter in this case. Seriously, you're better off using a coffee can than a soup one. And I'm sure these fall among the latter.

Sure cans might make good flower pots but I’m positive that size does matter in this case. Seriously, you’re better off using a coffee can than a soup one. And I’m sure these fall among the latter.

22. I give you a flower sculpture of a lizard in a tree.

This is from the botanical garden in Montreal. Forget what kind of lizard this is but I'm sure it's natural habitat is the rain forests of South America. Definitely not an iguana because those are bigger and are vegetarians. This one eats bugs.

This is from the botanical garden in Montreal. Forget what kind of lizard this is but I’m sure it’s natural habitat is the rain forests of South America. Definitely not an iguana because those are bigger and are vegetarians. This one eats bugs.

23. Speaking of reptiles, there’s a giant snake in this garden.

This is a flower sculpture of a cobra at a botanical garden in Atlanta. Nevertheless, while snakes are best avoided, they tend to be a necessary evil when it comes to gardening, especially when it comes to vegetables. Seriously, they eat the critters who would munch on your peonies any day of the week.

This is a flower sculpture of a cobra at a botanical garden in Atlanta. Nevertheless, while snakes are best avoided, they tend to be a necessary evil when it comes to gardening, especially when it comes to vegetables. Seriously, they eat the critters who would munch on your peonies any day of the week.

24. For small garden scenes, you might want to go with bonsai trees.

At first you might think it's a little house in the country. That is, until you see that the entire scene is in a large pot.

At first you might think it’s a little house in the country. That is, until you see that the entire scene is in a large pot.

25. Sometimes planting in a giant teacup can do your garden wonders.

And it seems that this giant cup is overflowing with flora. Not sure where this is located for there's another one in the background.

And it seems that this giant cup is overflowing with flora. Not sure where this is located for there’s another one in the background.

26. Wonder how to stop that faucet from running. Wonder where the water comes from.

Yeah, I was asking how that faucet seems to appear out of nowhere. Then again, it probably has pipes hiding in the bushes.

Yeah, I was asking how that faucet seems to appear out of nowhere. Then again, it probably has pipes hiding in the bushes.

27. Now that’s what I call a butterfly garden.

Sure you've heard of butterfly gardens. But have you ever heard of a garden shaped like a butterfly? Seriously, this is pretty cool.

Sure you’ve heard of butterfly gardens. But have you ever heard of a garden shaped like a butterfly? Seriously, this is pretty cool.

28. Now this garden set up is so intricate and wild that you’d swear the landscapers were on acid.

Again, this is the Miracle Garden in Dubai known for it's bizarre landscaping and very high water bills. Seriously, it seems like the kind of garden you'd see at a Dr. Seuss theme park, on steroids. Hey, at least I'm not showing the city's architecture.

Again, this is the Miracle Garden in Dubai known for it’s bizarre landscaping and very high water bills. Seriously, it seems like the kind of garden you’d see at a Dr. Seuss theme park, on steroids. Hey, at least I’m not showing the city’s architecture.

29. For those with a lot of flat tires lying around, why don’t you just paint them and use them for planters?

Now this seems to be a great DIY garden idea. However, I'm not sure about the chickens being in there. They seem to detract from the beauty.

Now this seems to be a great DIY garden idea. However, I’m not sure about the chickens being in there. They seem to detract from the beauty.

30. This garden is so green that even the roofs have grass on them.

Now this is from the Coastal Maine Botanical Gardens, which seems to have more flowers than you'd expect a place so far north. Still, not sure if it inspires anything from Stephen King.

Now this is from the Coastal Maine Botanical Gardens, which seems to have more flowers than you’d expect a place so far north. Still, not sure if it inspires anything from Stephen King.

31. Of course, if you want a fairy garden scene but have little space, may I suggest making one in your old bathtub.

Now this seems like a perfect place for a pixie with cobblestone walks and a cute little house at the end. Maybe we need to use old bathtubs for planters more often.

Now this seems like a perfect place for a pixie with cobblestone walks and a cute little house at the end. Maybe we need to use old bathtubs for planters more often.

32. And here’s an even more intricate flower house with even brighter colors.

This is also from Dubai's Miracle Garden, by the way. Yes, I'm sure admission there isn't cheap by any means. Seriously, wonder how much money goes into their water bills since somebody has to pay for that.

This is also from Dubai’s Miracle Garden, by the way. Yes, I’m sure admission there isn’t cheap by any means. Seriously, wonder how much money goes into their water bills since somebody has to pay for that.

33. Of course, this garden sculpture is inspired by a tale as old as time.

I'm sure this one is from EPCOT since it has the international towns. This one is France. Nevertheless, I guess the yellow flowers either died or haven't come into bloom yet.

I’m sure this one is from EPCOT since it has the international towns. This one is France. Nevertheless, I guess the yellow flowers either died or haven’t come into bloom yet.

34. Now this flower garden shows the Circle of Life.

This is certainly from Disney but I'm not sure where. Still, I'm not sure if this scene perfectly captures Mufasa. But I'm sure Lion King fans everywhere would enjoy this.

This is certainly from Disney but I’m not sure where. Still, I’m not sure if this scene perfectly captures Mufasa. But I’m sure Lion King fans everywhere would enjoy this.

35. Now this broken down car demonstrates the ultimate flower power here.

Now not only are there flowers in both the trunk and the hood, but the whole care is decorated with them as well. Talk about repressed gardener/art major here.

Now not only are there flowers in both the trunk and the hood, but the whole care is decorated with them as well. Talk about repressed gardener/art major here.

36. Seems like this bush is crying lots of flowery tears.

Either this was done by professionals or a repressed landscaper with too much time on their hands. Either way, it's incredibly stunning and beyond my expertise.

Either this was done by professionals or a repressed landscaper with too much time on their hands. Either way, it’s incredibly stunning and beyond my expertise.

37. Anything can be used for a flower pot, you just have to use your imagination.

I'm not sure about planting flowers in a toaster or shoes. Then again, hope nobody plugs the toaster in, especially during a thunderstorm.

I’m not sure about planting flowers in a toaster or shoes. Then again, hope nobody plugs the toaster in, especially during a thunderstorm.

38. Sometimes garden designs can be quite standard and sometimes very intricate.

Now this is from a botanical garden from Sri Lanka. And I'm sure that design pertains to something from their culture. Not sure what it's supposed to be though.

Now this is from a botanical garden from Sri Lanka. And I’m sure that design pertains to something from their culture. Not sure what it’s supposed to be though.

39. Now this gardener seems to water the plants 24/7. Wonder why.

Oh, that's a gardener flower statue. Now that's interesting. Guess he doesn't get around much.

Oh, that’s a gardener flower statue. Now that’s interesting. Guess he doesn’t get around much.

40. You’ve heard of a flower bed. Well, wait until you see this.

Now this one takes the concept of "flower bed" a bit more literally than most. Of course, it uses an actual metal bed.

Now this one takes the concept of “flower bed” a bit more literally than most. Of course, it uses an actual metal bed.

41. Of course, you can always have your flower bed with canopy.

Now this is the kind of flower bed I'm talking about. Love the flowers of it and the vines. But please, no critters.

Now this is the kind of flower bed I’m talking about. Love the flowers of it and the vines. But please, no critters.

42. At botanical gardens, you’ll always need a floral clock.

This is from a botanical garden place in Fort Worth. And yes, floral clocks can be quite big. They have to be.

This is from a botanical garden place in Fort Worth. And yes, floral clocks can be quite big. They have to be.

43. Of course, nothing makes a flower garden more worthwhile than garden pandas.

Now I'm sure this is the only pair of adult pandas nobody has tried to mate. Mostly because they're made from foliage. Still cute, though.

Now I’m sure this is the only pair of adult pandas nobody has tried to mate. Mostly because they’re made from foliage. Still cute, though.

44. While canopies have been a main stay in flower gardens, hardly any contains as many umbrellas as this one.

Again, this is in the Miracle Garden in Dubai where the water bills are sky high. Still, it's amazing how they got the umbrellas to stand like that.

Again, this is in the Miracle Garden in Dubai where the water bills are sky high. Still, it’s amazing how they got the umbrellas to stand like that.

45. This statue of Mother Nature has animals coming right out of her hand.

Yes, she has deer in one hand and an eagle in the other as horses run near the fountain. By the way, this is in Montreal.

Yes, she has deer in one hand and an eagle in the other as horses run near the fountain. By the way, this is in Montreal.

46. Like a cauldron boiling over in your garden?

Yes, that's only moss in the pot. And those are only flowers posing as flames. But it's still pretty cool though.

Yes, that’s only moss in the pot. And those are only flowers posing as flames. But it’s still pretty cool though.

47. Of course, some of us would rather have our flowers in a Grecian urn.

Now I've seen this in a lot of gardens and you can get it in a store. But these flowers sure are pretty though.

Now I’ve seen this in a lot of gardens and you can get it in a store. But these flowers sure are pretty though.

48. Hey, I didn’t know they built Stonehenge in the jungle. Thought it was just a European thing.

This is in a public botanical garden in Thailand. The Stonehenge is just a replica. Sorry, Ancient Alien conspiracy theorists (a. k. a. idiots).

This is in a public botanical garden in Thailand. The Stonehenge is just a replica. Sorry, Ancient Alien conspiracy theorists (a. k. a. idiots).

49. If you need another planter, perhaps try your old bathtub.

Well, at least a tub somehow makes a great place for planting flowers. Still, love the selection in there.

Well, at least a tub somehow makes a great place for planting flowers. Still, love the selection in there.

50. Who knew you could plant flowers in your rubber boots?

I bet these are old rubber boots that no longer fit. And they don't have much flowers on them. Still, they'll go in the post.

I bet these are old rubber boots that no longer fit. And they don’t have much flowers on them. Still, they’ll go in the post.

51. To go with your flower bed, may I suggest a flower vanity?

I'm sure you can't put clothes in this. But flowers it will do. Hope the rain doesn't take the paint off.

I’m sure you can’t put clothes in this. But flowers it will do. Hope the rain doesn’t take the paint off.

52. What to do with that old log laying around? I know, plant flowers in it!

Now I think there's a log like this in my yard. Wonder if I should ask my dad to hollow it out so my mom can plant flowers in it. Of course, he'd probably refuse.

Now I think there’s a log like this in my yard. Wonder if I should ask my dad to hollow it out so my mom can plant flowers in it. Of course, he’d probably refuse.

53. Of course, you have to have flower baskets on your tricycle.

Now this is quite a garden party addition. Still, love the morning glories in the baskets.

Now this is quite a garden party addition. Still, love the morning glories in the baskets.

54. Need a planter? Split barrels.

I'm sure these are pre made since they look kind of fake. Besides, nobody uses wooden barrels anymore. Nevertheless, these flowers are pretty.

I’m sure these are pre made since they look kind of fake. Besides, nobody uses wooden barrels anymore. Nevertheless, these flowers are pretty.

55. When it comes to botanical gardens, many seem to be fit for a large palace.

Now this garden is from a large estate in France. And let me say, it's freaking huge. Still, must have an army of pruners somewhere.

Now this garden is from a large estate in France. And let me say, it’s freaking huge. Still, must have an army of pruners somewhere.

56. In many of these large botanical gardens, it’s sometimes customary to have a maze.

Now I'd really hate to get lost in that. Not sure where this one came from but the foliage is stunning.

Now I’d really hate to get lost in that. Not sure where this one came from but the foliage is stunning.

57. Heard of a flower bed? Now here’s a flower piano.

Sure it's a bit water logged and won't play a note. But at least the flowers and waterfall are pretty.

Sure it’s a bit water logged and won’t play a note. But at least the flowers and waterfall are pretty.

58. Looks like someone spilled the purple flowers. I wonder who that may be.

From the Images: "Waterfall blue lobelia - No other blue flower can match the intensity of Waterfall Blue lobelia, a perfect floral imitation of water flowing from the pot. Riverdene Gold Mexican Heather gives a lime green color around the container, and Rustic Orange coleus in behind looks good with the heather and the intense blue of the lobelia." Man, and I thought I said too much sometimes.

From the Images: “Waterfall blue lobelia – No other blue flower can match the intensity of Waterfall Blue lobelia, a perfect floral imitation of water flowing from the pot. Riverdene Gold Mexican Heather gives a lime green color around the container, and Rustic Orange coleus in behind looks good with the heather and the intense blue of the lobelia.” Man, and I thought I said too much sometimes.

59. For those who don’t have a log cabin in the woods, this garden miniature is for you.

Of course, the water is made from blue stones you might get at a craft store. But everything else seems to be derived from organic material. Man, I wonder how they make these things.

Of course, the water is made from blue stones you might get at a craft store. But everything else seems to be derived from organic material. Man, I wonder how they make these things.

60. Sometimes you just need a garden to match your patio.

Now this is a miniature garden containing a small patio with scooters. Still, it's quite creative and probably made by someone with too much time on their hands.

Now this is a miniature garden containing a small patio with scooters. Still, it’s quite creative and probably made by someone with too much time on their hands.

61. This flower bed is said to be the place to dream.

Of course, you'd probably wouldn't want to be caught sleeping in it. Or else, they'd probably kick you off their property. Still, it's a fitting naturalistic approach to bedrooms.

Of course, you’d probably wouldn’t want to be caught sleeping in it. Or else, they’d probably kick you off their property. Still, it’s a fitting naturalistic approach to bedrooms.

62. Seems like the flowers have taken over the shed in this garden.

Now this may be small but it's especially breathtaking. Of course, it helps that the flowers are purple in this case.

Now this may be small but it’s especially breathtaking. Of course, it helps that the flowers are purple in this case.

63. Looks like somebody messed with the wrong Viking.

Now I'm sure this is something from Norse Mythology or Wagner opera. Still, I'm sure the Vikings didn't have antlers on their helmets. Well, at least they don't have horns though.

Now I’m sure this is something from Norse Mythology or Wagner opera. Still, I’m sure the Vikings didn’t have antlers on their helmets. Well, at least they don’t have horns though.

64. I’m sure this stretch is for cyclists only.

Then again, I'm sure bikes wouldn't be allowed either. Still, I like the daisies on this though.

Then again, I’m sure bikes wouldn’t be allowed either. Still, I like the daisies on this though.

65. Have an old rickety boat? Plant flowers in it.

Let's hope this boat isn't being used for a Viking funeral. Sure would hate to see the flowers engulfed in a fiery blaze on the water.

Let’s hope this boat isn’t being used for a Viking funeral. Sure would hate to see the flowers engulfed in a fiery blaze on the water.

66. May I present to you, Mr. and Mrs. Barrelpot.

Yes, these have flowers in them as well as umbrellas on top. But these are so cute.

Yes, these have flowers in them as well as umbrellas on top. But these are so cute.

67. On this Beetle, the flowers run wild like the hippies who already have a cabin in the woods.

Now this Beetle is way groovier than the other couple I have on this post. Of course, you probably can't drive in it though.

Now this Beetle is way groovier than the other couple I have on this post. Of course, you probably can’t drive in it though.

68. If you have any broken flower pots, create your own fairy pumpkin scene.

Now I'm sure the flowers aren't real but the foliage is. However, it's a perfect abode for small fairies, isn't it?

Now I’m sure the flowers aren’t real but the foliage is. However, it’s a perfect abode for small fairies, isn’t it?

69. When it comes to flower boats, some are fancier than others.

This is from a botanical garden in India and is quite large. Still, you have to love the pink and white stripes on this.

This is from a botanical garden in India and is quite large. Still, you have to love the pink and white stripes on this.

70. Now this peacock certainly has a purple train of feathers.

Now I know peacocks are male and don't have tail colors like this. Nevertheless, these flowers are beautiful for this garden.

Now I know peacocks are male and don’t have tail colors like this. Nevertheless, these flowers are beautiful for this garden.

71. In the botanical garden scheme, sometimes they can come in all kinds of patterns.

This is from a botanical garden in Madeira which is in the Mediterranean. Still, quite lovely but I'm not sure about the colors.

This is from a botanical garden in Madeira which is in the Mediterranean. Still, quite lovely but I’m not sure about the colors.

72. When it comes to flowers, sometimes you’d find them in violins.

Of course, this isn't a real violin. But I'm sure the flowers are beautiful in this planter.

Of course, this isn’t a real violin. But I’m sure the flowers are beautiful in this planter.

73. In butterfly gardens, the flower butterflies can come in all shapes and sizes.

I'm not sure where this is from. But I love the flowers on this, especially the purple ones.

I’m not sure where this is from. But I love the flowers on this, especially the purple ones.

74. I’m sure these peabirds would get along fine.

Now I think this is from an indoor botanical garden. But I hope the lighter one is a peahen and not a peacock, not that there's anything wrong with it. But it's just that, well, nevermind.

Now I think this is from an indoor botanical garden. But I hope the lighter one is a peahen and not a peacock, not that there’s anything wrong with it. But it’s just that, well, never mind. It’s just it would be very awkward if one of them should be queen.

75. When it comes to flower boats, some can run quite wild.

Now I'm sure this rickety wooden boat isn't good for the water. But that doesn't mean you can throw it away if you can still plant flowers in it.

Now I’m sure this rickety wooden boat isn’t good for the water. But that doesn’t mean you can throw it away if you can still plant flowers in it.

76. Another great planter for flowers is a little red wagon. Also great for transporting flowers, too.

Now I'm not sure whether the red wagon should be used for this. Nevertheless, the flowers are quite pretty to say the least.

Now I’m not sure whether the red wagon should be used for this. Nevertheless, the flowers are quite pretty to say the least.

77. You heard about planting flowers in a wheelbarrow. How about flowers in a wooden cart?

Now I'm sure the cart was painting and isn't pulled by a horse. But the flowers are quite gorgeous in it.

Now I’m sure the cart was painting and isn’t pulled by a horse. But the flowers are quite gorgeous in it.

78. When it comes to gardens, I’m sure nothing can flowers can make a purple hear.

Of course, this is probably in a botanical garden and erected from the ground. But it's nonetheless beautiful, especially since it's purple.

Of course, this is probably in a botanical garden and erected from the ground. But it’s nonetheless beautiful, especially since it’s purple.

79. Of course, you can always put your flowers in a worn out baby grand piano.

I'm sure the lid provides these beauties with ample shade. I'm sure they are quite lovely in the sun just the same.

I’m sure the lid provides these beauties with ample shade. I’m sure they are quite lovely in the sun just the same.

80. Wooden buckets make great flower pots, especially if you want to plant a lot of them in the same spot.

Of course, you can buy these large wooden buckets at any hardware or department store like Wal Mart or K Mart. Nevertheless, these flowers are quite beautiful in them.

Of course, you can buy these large wooden buckets at any hardware or department store like Wal Mart or K Mart. Nevertheless, these flowers are quite beautiful in them.

The Wonderful World of Architecture (Second Edition)

Mughal-Architecture-2

I know that my post last November on architecture but I thought that since it’s very close to Easter and I have nothing going on until Mother’s Day and Father’s Day, I thought I’d do another post on a scourge of pandemic proportions that no one’s talking about: modern architecture. For a long time in the world, cities have been plagued by building projects that serve to uglify their skylines. Sure there are masterpieces like the Sydney Opera House, the Church of the Sagrada Familia, the Chrysler Building, the Empire State Building, or the Gateway Arch. But there are also hideous skyscrapers, unholy looking churches, and public buildings that either suggest the architect was on acid or what. Tourists who visit these cities wonder whether the metropolitan area is going to pot or trying to imitate Las Vegas or Soviet Russia. Either way, many modern buildings are seen as unending eyesores to the populace, which I will show you know. So without further adieu, here are some more disasterpieces of architecture for your pleasure.

1. I begin with bringing you just some drab old office building in the middle of nowhere.

Wait, that's the North Dakota State Capitol. Seriously, I guess the state wasn't looking for someone with any imagination. Seems like something straight out of the Soviet Union if you ask me.

Wait, that’s the North Dakota State Capitol. Seriously, I guess the state wasn’t looking for someone with any imagination. Seems like something straight out of the Soviet Union if you ask me.

2. Behold, I give you the world’s largest glass vagina.

I'm sorry with resorting to vulgarities. But when I look at it, I just can't help thinking about how it looks so much like a glittering giant snatch.

I’m sorry with resorting to vulgarities. But when I look at it, I just can’t help thinking about how it looks so much like a glittering giant snatch.

3. Seems like this piece of modern architecture was supposed to be constructed on a different planet.

This is the No. 1 Poultry building in London. And yeah, it's just atrocious with it's striped earth tones and glass. Seems like an airport terminal at Tattooine.

This is the No. 1 Poultry building in London. And yeah, it’s just atrocious with it’s striped earth tones and glass. Seems like an airport terminal at Tattooine.

4. Ladies and gentleman, may I introduce you to the Safety Razor tower.

I'm sure this would be an appropriate corporate headquarters for Gillette. But I wonder if any of their employees want to work inside a safety razor building.

I’m sure this would be an appropriate corporate headquarters for Gillette. But I wonder if any of their employees want to work inside a safety razor building.

5. Now here is a skyscraper that’s befit for any supervillian with money to burn like Lex Luthor.

It's actually the RSA Battle House Tower in Mobile, Alabama and the tallest in the city. I think it's an office complex and hotel. But still, you can totally imagine Lex Luthor living there, right?

It’s actually the RSA Battle House Tower in Mobile, Alabama and the tallest in the city. I think it’s an office complex and hotel. But still, you can totally imagine Lex Luthor living there, right?

6. When looking at this building, you’d expect it to be a luxury mothership with little green men inside.

Hate to disappoint those UFO conspiracy theorists out there. But this is the Valencia Opera House (aka the Queen Sofia Palace of the Arts) in Spain. Of course, this would be a perfect place for a Spanish space opera if you get my drift.

Hate to disappoint those UFO conspiracy theorists out there. But this is the Valencia Opera House (aka the Queen Sofia Palace of the Arts) in Spain. Of course, this would be a perfect place for a Spanish space opera if you get my drift.

7. In Soviet Mother Russia, this house ring brings the concept of Rear Window to a whole new level.

Of course, this reminds me of an abandoned football stadium or a modernized Colosseum that was deserted long ago. Either way, this house ring ain't pretty to say the least.

Of course, this reminds me of an abandoned football stadium or a modernized Colosseum that was deserted long ago. Either way, this house ring ain’t pretty to say the least.

8. In the future office buildings will be docked with a 9/11 tribute as a well a UFO landing pad so the aliens can show up to intergalactic business meetings.

Actually this is the national headquarters for Brazil's National Congress in Brasilia. Sure I'm sure Brasilia is a capital city where the extra terrestrials will feel at home.

Actually this is the national headquarters for Brazil’s National Congress in Brasilia. Sure I’m sure Brasilia is a capital city where the extra terrestrials will feel at home.

9. When designing this building, the architect must’ve said, “Hmmm..Roman columns in modernist design. Sure let’s go with that.”

This is the Mazda 2 Building in Tokyo, Japan or as I call it, a lousy attempt at Art Deco. Still, I think Godzilla smashing this building would improve its looks.

This is the Mazda 2 Building in Tokyo, Japan or as I call it, a lousy attempt at Art Deco. Still, I think Godzilla smashing this building would improve its looks.

10. Ladies and gentlemen, I give you the world’s fanciest giant hypodermic needle.

This building is the Taipei 101 in Taiwan which was once the tallest building in the world. Still, it's meant to withstand earthquakes and typhoons for better or for worse. But you can't help but think it's probably more suitable for Las Vegas.

This building is the Taipei 101 in Taiwan which was once the tallest building in the world. Still, it’s meant to withstand earthquakes and typhoons for better or for worse. But you can’t help but think it’s probably more suitable for Las Vegas.

11. Building or spaceship crash?

Sure it's a building but it just seems like this is a spaceship that fell down to earth upside down before impact. That or a bad attempt at origami.

Sure it’s a building but it just seems like this is a spaceship that fell down to earth upside down before impact. That or a bad attempt at origami.

12. This is the grave of Ho Chi Minh which is said to evoke Vietnamese traditions such as the communal house and the lotus flower. How the two are combined in this building is unclear.

Still, while cruel observers remark on how it resembles a Greco-Roman public toilet, I think it's just a Soviet style rip off of the Parthenon. Of course, Ho Chi Minh wished to be cremated but that didn't happen.

Still, while cruel observers remark on how it resembles a Greco-Roman public toilet, I think it’s just a Soviet style rip off of the Parthenon. Of course, Ho Chi Minh wished to be cremated but that didn’t happen.

13. When you first look at Dubai’s Atlantis Hotel, you have to wonder whether the UAE city does Muslim weddings with an Elvis impersonator.

China.org remarks how it's, "an unholy architectural amalgam of Arabian Nights, 1980s TV soap "Dynasty" and a classic pink Durex." Of course, I think it's basically a sign that Dubai is well on its way to becoming the Las Vegas of the Middle East. Seriously, the hotel's architecture is totally Vegas.

China.org remarks how it’s, “an unholy architectural amalgam of Arabian Nights, 1980s TV soap “Dynasty” and a classic pink Durex.” Of course, I think it’s basically a sign that Dubai is well on its way to becoming the Las Vegas of the Middle East. Seriously, the hotel’s architecture is totally Vegas.

14. Man, seems like the Illuminati have a very elaborate headquarters from the looks of it.

Okay, I'm sorry, Kazakhstan, I didn't mean to insult your presidential palace and ministry buildings. However, the golden towers resemble beer cans and the Orda palace seems like it's the headquarters of some New World Order.

Okay, I’m sorry, Kazakhstan, I didn’t mean to insult your presidential palace and ministry buildings. However, the golden towers resemble beer cans and the Orda palace seems like it’s the headquarters for the masonic Grand Master of some New World Order.

15. Seems like this golden ball tower appears to resemble Sauron’s Tower if it was built in Rivendell.

This is the 344ft Bayterek Tower in Astana, Kazakhstan. It's an observation tower representing a popular tree holding a golden egg. Of course, the conspiracy theorists will go crazy on this one.

This is the 344ft Bayterek Tower in Astana, Kazakhstan. It’s an observation tower representing a popular tree holding a golden egg. Of course, the conspiracy theorists will go crazy on this one.

16. Abandoned Las Vegas hotel complex or President Snow’s vacation home from The Hunger Games?

Actually it's the Triumph of Astana in Kazakhstan. It was modeled after the Seven Sisters skyscrapers in Moscow. It's an hotel and office complex. However, I'm sure that it's a palace fit for any 1970s sci-fi overlord.

Actually it’s the Triumph of Astana in Kazakhstan. It was modeled after the Seven Sisters skyscrapers in Moscow. It’s an hotel and office complex. However, I’m sure that it’s a palace fit for any 1970s sci-fi overlord.

17. Man, that’s the most elaborate doughnut I’ve ever seen. I wonder if this is the world headquarters for Dunkin’ Doughnuts.

It's actually a skyscraper in Guangzhou, China. According to its architect Joseph DiPasquale, “Native Chinese landmark…inspired by the strong iconic value of jade discs and numerological tradition of feng shui, in particular, the double disc of jade (bi-disk) is the royal symbol of an ancient Chinese dynasty that reigned in this area around 2000 years ago." Yeah, but still looks like a giant sci-fi doughnut to me.

It’s actually a skyscraper in Guangzhou, China. According to its architect Joseph DiPasquale, “Native Chinese landmark…inspired by the strong iconic value of jade discs and numerological tradition of feng shui, in particular, the double disc of jade (bi-disk) is the royal symbol of an ancient Chinese dynasty that reigned in this area around 2000 years ago.” Yeah, but still looks like a giant sci-fi doughnut to me.

18. Wow, quite the rendition of Luke Skywalker’s home on Tattooine. Well, if he didn’t grow up a water farmer.

Actually that's the Brazil's National Library in Brasilia. Yeah, it doesn't really embody the country's character too well. Hey, don't ask me why Brasilia's buildings are so futuristically sterile and bland.

Actually that’s the Brazil’s National Library in Brasilia. Yeah, it doesn’t really embody the country’s character too well. Hey, don’t ask me why Brasilia’s buildings are so futuristically sterile and bland.

19. For the supervillian with the most enormous ego that money can buy, this enormous skyscraper is perfect for you.

This is the Burj al Khalifa in Dubai, the tallest building in the world. It's 2,722 ft tall with 163 floors. It's also said to have had a labor controversy in the construction. Still, it kind of embodies Dubai's excesses and is quite the eyesore.

This is the Burj al Khalifa in Dubai, the tallest building in the world. It’s 2,722 ft tall with 163 floors. It’s also said to have had a labor controversy in the construction. Still, it kind of embodies Dubai’s excesses and is quite the eyesore.

20. I give you a literal cat house.

This is a preschool in Germany which I think is subtly terrifying if you ask me. Still, kind of gives the term "cat house" a whole new meaning.

This is a preschool in Germany which I think is subtly terrifying if you ask me. Still, kind of gives the term “cat house” a whole new meaning.

21. I daresay for I didn’t know that the Soviets built ornate high rise apartments with crosses on them.

Actually this is the Cathedral of Our Lady of the Angels in Los Angeles, California. Look, I'm perfectly fine with modern Catholic Church architecture and I know some of these buildings are nicer on the inside. However, this is just an architectural travesty.

Actually this is the Cathedral of Our Lady of the Angels in Los Angeles, California. Look, I’m perfectly fine with modern Catholic Church architecture and I know some of these buildings are nicer on the inside. However, this is just an architectural travesty.

22. Let’s hope nobody is banging on this ornate drum all day.

Yes, it's on the Guinness World Records as the biggest drum in the world. However, this is the Hefei Wanda Culture and Tourism Exhibition Center in Hefei City, east China's Anhui province. Still, seems like a little girl's palace for a sci-fi movie.

Yes, it’s on the Guinness World Records as the biggest drum in the world. However, this is the Hefei Wanda Culture and Tourism Exhibition Center in Hefei City, east China’s Anhui province. Still, seems like a little girl’s palace for a sci-fi movie.

23. Bizarre giant hypodermic needle or sci-fi tower from another planet?

This is the Oriental Pearl TV Tower in Shanghai, China. It's the tallest building in the city. It's 2,073 ft high and has 128 floors. But yes, it's quite horrendous.

This is the Oriental Pearl TV Tower in Shanghai, China. It’s the tallest building in the city. It’s 2,073 ft high and has 128 floors. But yes, it’s quite horrendous.

24. Massive Soviet style corns of the cob complex or sci-fi styled curling iron towers?

Actually these are the Marina City Towers of Chicago. Now the bottom ten floors are used for parking while the rest for condos. Still, this is quite a skysore place with barely an character.

Actually these are the Marina City Towers of Chicago. Now the bottom ten floors are used for parking while the rest for condos. Still, this is quite a skysore place with barely an character.

25. I guess this building’s architect was inspired by a pile of duct tape lying in the street and designed this.

This is the Walt Disney Concert Hall in Los Angeles, California. Of course, this was designed by Frank Gehry who tends to draw inspiration for his projects through amateur dumpster diving, it seems.

This is the Walt Disney Concert Hall in Los Angeles, California. Of course, this was designed by Frank Gehry who tends to draw inspiration for his projects through amateur dumpster diving, it seems.

26. Don’t look now, but I think there’s some giant slimy monster on the loose in this neck of the woods.

This is actually the Kunsthaus Graz in Graz, Austria. It's a contemporary art museum, which is perhaps fitting. But still resembles an alien monster from another dimension.

This is actually the Kunsthaus Graz in Graz, Austria. It’s a contemporary art museum, which is perhaps fitting. But still resembles an alien monster from another dimension.

27. I dub this building the First Church of the Nuclear Bunker which is part of the Doomsday Church of Revelation.

I hear the people of this congregation attend services wearing hats made of tin foil they think will protect them from the heathen alien invaders. Yes, they are that out there.

I hear the people of this congregation attend services wearing hats made of tin foil they think will protect them from the heathen alien invaders. Yes, they are that out there.

28. Only in China will you find a Tea museum that is designed like a massive teapot and cup.

This is the Meitan Tea Museum in the Guizhou Province which is the biggest tea producer in China. It's the largest pot of tea in the world. And you thought the Brits were tea crazy? They're tea prudes compared to the Chinese.

This is the Meitan Tea Museum in the Guizhou Province which is the biggest tea producer in China. It’s the largest pot of tea in the world. And you thought the Brits were tea crazy? They’re tea prudes compared to the Chinese.

29. Now this building seems rather fishy to me mostly because it’s a literal fish out of water.

This is the office for the National Fisheries Development in Rajendranager, Hyderabad, India. It's supposed to be a flounder. Still, I wonder how their workers feel about having to work in a giant fish every day.

This is the office for the National Fisheries Development in Rajendranager, Hyderabad, India. It’s supposed to be a flounder. Still, I wonder how their workers feel about having to work in a giant fish every day.

30. Now in South Korea, architecture is literally going down the toilet.

This is the Toilet Museum in Suwon City, South Korea so the commode shape is only fitting. It's basically a toilet theme park. Also has a lot of shitting outdoor statues. I'm not making this up.

This is the Toilet Museum in Suwon City, South Korea so the commode shape is only fitting. It’s basically a toilet theme park. Also has a lot of shitting outdoor statues. I’m not making this up.

31. I suppose this building was inspired by a pile of glass or it’s some evil overlord’s vacation home.

This is Kazakhstan's Central Concert Hall in Astana. And though I like the color, it just seems like a combination of the old Soviet style and Frank Gehry. Thus, utter crap.

This is Kazakhstan’s Central Concert Hall in Astana. And though I like the color, it just seems like a combination of the old Soviet style and Frank Gehry. Thus, utter crap.

32. Of course, I can’t think of a more appropriate home for a megachurch televangelist than this Jesus infused abode.

My mistake. This is the Mother Teresa Memorial House in Skopje, Macedonia where she was from. Yes, it's a tacky architectural disaster. Still, saint or not, Mother Teresa deserved better than this.

My mistake. This is the Mother Teresa Memorial House in Skopje, Macedonia where she was from. Yes, it’s a tacky architectural disaster. Still, saint or not, Mother Teresa deserved better than this travesty.

33. Of course, in case of a saucer landing, this is the perfect structure for the job.

This is the Theme Building at Los Angeles International Airport. Still, I'm sure the aliens would find LA quite accommodating, especially for those seeking a career in show biz.

This is the Theme Building at Los Angeles International Airport. Still, I’m sure the aliens would find LA quite accommodating, especially for those seeking a career in show biz.

34. Massive badly design camera or Star Trek villain headquarters?

This is the Guthrie Theater in Minneapolis, Minnesota. It was designed by a French guy and named after an Englishmen. Still, pretty horrendous and more suited as an abode for an evil overlord.

This is the Guthrie Theater in Minneapolis, Minnesota. It was designed by a French guy and named after an Englishmen. Still, pretty horrendous and more suited as an abode for an evil overlord.

35. Behold, may I present to you the world’s largest golden golf ball of the Sun.

This is called the Matrimandir which is in Auroville, Bommayapalayam, Tamil Nadu in India. It's an edifice of spiritual significance for practitioners in integral yoga. However, to me, it's just a golden golf ball merged with EPCOT.

This is called the Matrimandir which is in Auroville, Bommayapalayam, Tamil Nadu in India. It’s an edifice of spiritual significance for practitioners in integral yoga. However, to me, it’s just a golden golf ball merged with EPCOT at Disney World.

36. When it comes to designing apartment buildings, what might look good in Legos won’t always translate well in real life.

This is a building in Amsterdam in the Netherlands. Of course, it also kind of appears as if a bunch of houses were stacked up against each other. Yet, everything doesn't seem to match.

This is a building in Amsterdam in the Netherlands. Of course, it also kind of appears as if a bunch of houses were stacked up against each other. Yet, everything doesn’t seem to match.

37. Futuristic hotel or a place that doubles as an apartment building and air traffic control tower?

This is the Genex Tower in Belgrade, Serbia which is one of the largest towers in Eastern Europe. It has two towers connected by a revolving restaurant on the top. One tower is occupied by the Genex group, the other a residential area.

This is the Genex Tower in Belgrade, Serbia which is one of the largest towers in Eastern Europe. It has two towers connected by a revolving restaurant on the top. One tower is occupied by the Genex group, the other a residential area.

38. Let me guess, this building was designed for a cell phone company. Wonder how I can guess that?

This is the Kunming City Xingyao Phone City in China. Of course, the building is actually a cell phone but certainly not one most people use today at least in the states.

This is the Kunming City Xingyao Phone City in China. Of course, the building is actually a cell phone but certainly not one most people use today at least in the states.

39. Now here we come to an abandoned nuclear power plant.

Oh, wait a minute this is the Landmark Theater in Ilfracombe, Devon in England. Still, I wonder what function do those large stacks have because they don't seem to have an purpose.

Oh, wait a minute this is the Landmark Theater in Ilfracombe, Devon in England. Still, I wonder what function do those large stacks have because they don’t seem to have an purpose.

40. Only in China could you see a large building that contains 3 scary guys in elaborate robes.

This is the Tianzi Hotel in Beijing, China. That large edifice has 3 Chinese gods that symbolize prosperity, achievement, and career happiness. Still, I'm not sure if tourists would understand since these guys seem quite terrifying.

This is the Tianzi Hotel in Beijing, China. That large edifice has 3 Chinese gods that symbolize prosperity, achievement, and career happiness. Still, I’m not sure if tourists would understand since these guys seem quite terrifying.

41. Prison or prison chapel? You decide.

This is called the Donau City Church in Vienna, Austria. It's a Catholic Church but I doubt you'd find any stain glass windows. The inside is bound to make your eyes go nuts.

This is called the Donau City Church in Vienna, Austria. It’s a Catholic Church but I doubt you’d find any stain glass windows. The inside is bound to make your eyes go nuts.

42. Ladies and gentlemen, I give you the Lipstick Tower.

This is the Mercury City Tower in Moscow, which is Europe's tallest building at 1,112ft. However, I'm sure it doesn't make a nice tube of lipstick because its color is terrible.

This is the Mercury City Tower in Moscow, which is Europe’s tallest building at 1,112ft. However, I’m sure it doesn’t make a nice tube of lipstick because its color is terrible.

43. Nevertheless, I call this one, the Turd Building because it looks like shit, literally.

This is the Ordos Museum in China constructed by the MAD studio. Still, why they thought it ought to be designed like a giant turd, I have no idea.

This is the Ordos Museum in China constructed by the MAD studio. Still, why they thought it ought to be designed like a giant turd, I have no idea.

44. Brutalist bank building or minimum security Soviet prison?

Sorry, my mistake. That's the Oregon State Capitol building. I know it just seems like the place you'd see Winston Smith working at in the novel 1984.

Sorry, my mistake. That’s the Oregon State Capitol building. I know it just seems like the place you’d see Winston Smith working at in the novel 1984 (which is the Ministry of Truth, by the way).

45. Since one Chrysler building wasn’t enough for Dubai, they decided to double it.This is the result.

Fortunately for New York, Dubai turned out to be a rather poor copycat in this case. Seriously, it's basically the Chrysler Building meets Las Vegas.

Fortunately for New York, Dubai turned out to be a rather poor copycat in this case. Seriously, it’s basically the Chrysler Building meets Las Vegas.

46. This is the building you get when you cross the PPG place with some evil overlord’s castle tower.

This is the Gazprom Headquarters in Moscow. Gazprom is a natural gas and oil company based in Russia as well as one of the largest in the world. So in my book, I'd say they're evil.

This is the Gazprom Headquarters in Moscow. Gazprom is a natural gas and oil company based in Russia as well as one of the largest in the world. So in my book, I’d say they’re evil.

47. Of course, the best place to learn music is at a building containing a giant piano and glass violin.

This is the Piano House in Huainan City in China which was designed by architectural students at Hefei University of Technology. It was mainly built to draw interest to the city. Even lights up at night.

This is the Piano House in Huainan City in China which was designed by architectural students at Hefei University of Technology. It was mainly built to draw interest to the city. Even lights up at night.

48. When it comes to skyscrapers, you can’t go wrong with too many green rings, right?

This is the Clal Insurance Building in Tel Aviv, Israel. Nevertheless, I'm not sure if the green rings go well with the glittery glass windows. But that's just me.

This is the Clal Insurance Building in Tel Aviv, Israel. Nevertheless, I’m not sure if the green rings go well with the glittery glass windows. But that’s just me.

49. Man, I wonder what it’s like to live in a city where the most prominent thing is a giant rocket missile.

This is the Žižkov Television Tower in Prague. What's even more horrifying besides the missile shape is that it has crawling babies on the side. Eeek!

This is the Žižkov Television Tower in Prague. What’s even more horrifying besides the missile shape is that it has crawling babies on the side. Eeek!

50. Monument for Soviet Communism or the salute to tools?

This is a monument in Pyongyang, North Korea and yes, it does have a Communist feel to it. Still, it's to be expected.

This is a monument in Pyongyang, North Korea and yes, it does have a Communist feel to it. Still, it’s to be expected.

51. I give you the Arc d’ Triumphe, well, not quite.

Actually this is a piece from Pyongyang, North Korea as well. And yes, it just seems like a combination of the Arc d' Triumphe, Stalinism, and Asian architecture which comes out horrendous.

Actually this is a piece from Pyongyang, North Korea as well. And yes, it just seems like a combination of the Arc d’ Triumphe, Stalinism, and Asian architecture which comes out horrendous.

52. You know you’ve hit the jackpot with Soviet architecture if you find a building shaped like a concrete banana.

This is the Palace of Concerts and Sports in Vilnius, Lithuania. But, yeah, it does kind of remind me of a banana for some reason. Must be the shape.

This is the Palace of Concerts and Sports in Vilnius, Lithuania. But, yeah, it does kind of remind me of a banana for some reason. Must be the shape.

53. Now I’m sure this is the perfect government headquarters for an evil totalitarian regime.

This is in Pyongyang, North Korea. However, considering that North Korea is one of the most repressive countries ever, this building is quite fitting, indeed.

This is in Pyongyang, North Korea. However, considering that North Korea is one of the most repressive countries ever, this building is quite fitting, indeed.

54.Tacky hotel in Florida or minimum security prison?

This is the Rin Grand Hotel in Bucharest, Romania, a city not known for its southwest color schemes. Seems like the designers were referencing outdated textbooks when they built this thing.

This is the Rin Grand Hotel in Bucharest, Romania, a city not known for its southwest color schemes. Seems like the designers were referencing outdated textbooks when they built this thing.

55. Now this seems like a dystopian shopping mall. Wonder what kind of clothes it would sell.

This is Seattle's Public Library in Washington state. But I'd sure not want to think that a boxy glass building would be a nice place to read.

This is Seattle’s Public Library in Washington state. But I’d sure not want to think that a boxy glass building would be a nice place to read.

56. It’s one thing to depend on the bottle. But it’s a different matter if you work in one.

This is the Wuliangye Building, Yibin in the Sichuan province in China. It's supposed to resemble a bottle of hard liquor. Sure it's in bad taste but the company is just laughing all the way to the bank by now.

This is the Wuliangye Building, Yibin in the Sichuan province in China. It’s supposed to resemble a bottle of hard liquor. Sure it’s in bad taste but the company is just laughing all the way to the bank by now.

57. Nothing makes your city well know than a large building of a giant bald head.

This is the Planetario Galileo Galilei in Buenos Aires, Argentina. I guess this was made more for function by the looks of it.

This is the Planetario Galileo Galilei in Buenos Aires, Argentina. I guess this was made more for function by the looks of it.

58. Sometimes old styles can be revived, other times not so much.

Now while a Ziggurat skyscraper may look awesome in Ancient Sumer, it doesn't go well as a skyscraper in the 21st century. Seriously, why?

Now while a Ziggurat skyscraper may look awesome in Ancient Sumer, it doesn’t go well as a skyscraper in the 21st century. Seriously, why?

59. With the bottle building, I’m sure it will go well with this bottle opener.

This is the Shanghai World Financial Center in China. And yes, it looks like a massive bottle opener, but not as ritzy as the one from Saudi Arabia.

This is the Shanghai World Financial Center in China. And yes, it looks like a massive bottle opener, but not as ritzy as the one from Saudi Arabia.

60. So I guess that UFOs exist then.

My mistake, this is the Metropolitan Circus in Astana Kazakhstan. Sorry, alien conspiracy theorist. Yet, I'm sure this certainly reminds me of a flying saucer for obvious reasons.

My mistake, this is the Metropolitan Circus in Astana Kazakhstan. Sorry, alien conspiracy theorist. Yet, I’m sure this certainly reminds me of a flying saucer for obvious reasons.

61. Now I’m sure this must be a sanctuary for aliens by the looks of it.

Actually this is a Russian Orthodox Church as far as I know. Why it's designed that way I have no idea.

Actually this is a Russian Orthodox Church as far as I know. Why it’s designed that way I have no idea.

62. Evil headquarters or dystopian stadium theater?

This is called the Karen Demirchyan Sport and Concert Complex in Armenia. But you probably think it's a cross between a Chinese temple and a Flash Gordon spacecraft.

This is called the Karen Demirchyan Sport and Concert Complex in Armenia. But you probably think it’s a cross between a Chinese temple and a Flash Gordon spacecraft.

63. Dystopian missile depot, spaceport, or airport terminal? You decide, folks.

This is the Prita Top Spa Hotel in Estonia. It's styled to look like a cruise ship but I'm not sure how that could. Doesn't resemble one to me. Either that, or the Soviet cruise ships were that ugly.

This is the Prita Top Spa Hotel in Estonia. It’s styled to look like a cruise ship but I’m not sure how that could. Doesn’t resemble one to me. Either that, or the Soviet cruise ships were that ugly.

64. If you want to know what it’s like to be up inside a giant pair of pants, this building is for you.

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This is the Gateway to the East Building in the ancient city of Suchou, China. It’s supposed to emphasize the city’s significance in modern China. But most people thinks it’s the biggest pair of pants in the world.

65. For those ruling dystopian regimes where free speech and other rights are basically restricted, here is the palace for you.

This is the Palace of Ceremonies in Tbilisi, Georgia. It's privately owned now. But there's just something phallic about it. I can't put my finger on it.

This is the Palace of Ceremonies in Tbilisi, Georgia. It’s privately owned now. But there’s just something phallic about it. I can’t put my finger on it.

66. Nothing says architectural excellence like a building of a giant dog bowl.

This is the Palace of Creativity in Astana, Kazakhstan. It's creative all right, but as an architectural masterpiece? Not a chance. I mean it looks like a giant dog bowl.

This is the Palace of Creativity in Astana, Kazakhstan. It’s creative all right, but as an architectural masterpiece? Not a chance. I mean it looks like a giant dog bowl.

67. While not fighting the Rebel Alliance, Darth Vader likes to kick back and relax at his sparse vacation home.

Now this is the Cathedral of Saint Mary of the Assumption, which serves as headquarters for the Catholic Archdiocese of San Francisco, California. Yeah, compared to the rest of the city, it's quite plain. Still reminds me of Darth Vader's vacation home for some reason.

Now this is the Cathedral of Saint Mary of the Assumption, which serves as headquarters for the Catholic Archdiocese of San Francisco, California. Yeah, compared to the rest of the city, it’s quite plain. Still reminds me of Darth Vader’s vacation home for some reason.

68. Now this skyscraper symbolizes the opulence of Communist Russia?

This piece of Stalinist architecture is the Seven Sisters skyscraper in Moscow. It's one of those buildings that combines the ego of Josef Stalin to the glitz of Las Vegas and not in a good way.

This piece of Stalinist architecture is the Seven Sisters skyscraper in Moscow. It’s one of those buildings that combines the ego of Josef Stalin to the glitz of Las Vegas and not in a good way.

69. As for housing, these complexes would be perfect for any evil overlord henchmen.

This is St. George's Wharf in London, England. But looking at these, you wonder whether they have faces or if any bad people live in them.

This is St. George’s Wharf in London, England. But looking at these, you wonder whether they have faces or if any bad people live in them.

70. Now this building reminds me of an iceberg as well as serves as a stark reminder of climate change which does exist and it’s a problem.

This is called "The Ascent" and it's in Covington, Kentucky, probably a place most people have never heard of. And yes, it's seen as a steaming pile of shit in the architectural world.

This is called “The Ascent” and it’s in Covington, Kentucky, probably a place most people have never heard of. And yes, it’s seen as a steaming pile of shit in the architectural world.

71. Behold, the giant clocktower of doom!

This is the Palace of Culture in Warsaw, Poland. But, yes, you can totally imagine some powerful Steampunk or Sci-fi villain living there, especially one with lightning hands and giant lasers.

This is the Palace of Culture in Warsaw, Poland. But, yes, you can totally imagine some powerful Steampunk or Sci-fi villain living there, especially one with lightning hands and giant lasers.

72. When it comes to color schemes, black and white stripes aren’t the way to go.

This prison striped building in Los Angeles, California learned the hard way. Hope this wasn't in a minority neighborhood since there will be unfortunate implications there.

This prison striped building in Los Angeles, California learned the hard way. Hope this wasn’t in a minority neighborhood since there will be unfortunate implications there.

73. May I present to you a new dystopian sci-fi shopping mall.

According to Time Out, its looks are, "akin to Space Mountain built out of drab, sterile leftovers from a doctors office waiting room." Couldn't say it better myself.

According to Time Out, its looks are, “akin to Space Mountain built out of drab, sterile leftovers from a doctors office waiting room.” Couldn’t say it better myself.

74. Now we’re here to a boring office building. Wonder what can go wrong with that.

Actually this is Thomas Road Baptist Church in Lynchburg, Virginia. But to me, this seems like the offices of Jesus H. Christ Attorney at Law or some kind of county courthouse.

Actually this is Thomas Road Baptist Church in Lynchburg, Virginia. But to me, this seems like the offices of Jesus H. Christ Attorney at Law or some kind of county courthouse.

75. These aqua blue window apartments certainly add dimension with the New World Order, according to conspiracy theorists that is.

Now this is the Azure Complex in Astana Kazakhstan that resembles a hotel for a Las Vegas casino. Yes, I showed a lot of buildings from this city.

Now this is the Azure Complex in Astana Kazakhstan that resembles a hotel for a Las Vegas casino. Yes, I showed a lot of buildings from this city.

76. I dub this building the Church of Our Lady with the Side of Fries.

This is part of the denomination the American Church of Unchecked Corporate Consumerism that also venerates people like Saint Nugget, Saint Burger, Saint McRib, and Saint Diet Coke.

This is part of the denomination the American Church of Unchecked Corporate Consumerism that also venerates people like Saint Nugget, Saint Burger, Saint McRib, and Saint Diet Coke.

77. Only in Kazakhstan will you find a pyramid built after the collapse of the Soviet Union.

This is called the Palace of Peace and Reconciliation. Nevertheless, the Illuminati conspiracy theorists will sure have a field day with this one.

This is called the Palace of Peace and Reconciliation. Nevertheless, the Illuminati conspiracy theorists will sure have a field day with this one.

78. Now for those dystopian rulers with a sense of cosmopolitan style, this is the building for you.

This is Kazakhstan's Parliament building in Astana. And yes, I know it seems like it's a combination of Soviet Russia, Vegas, and Dubai for all the wrong reasons.

This is Kazakhstan’s Parliament building in Astana. And yes, I know it seems like it’s a combination of Soviet Russia, Vegas, and Dubai for all the wrong reasons.

79. When it comes to architectural styles, you can’t go wrong with a hollow kettle building.

This is the Wanda Cultural center in China. I know it looks like a hollow kettle with glass windows, but I didn't design the thing. So don't ask me.

This is the Wanda Cultural center in China. I know it looks like a hollow kettle with glass windows, but I didn’t design the thing. So don’t ask me.

80. If Noah was living today, who could bet that his ark may look like this?

This is the World Cup Hotel in Sao Paulo, Brazil. However, if there would be a flood of biblical proportions, I'm not sure if it will float let alone shelter all the animals in the world 2 by 2.

This is the World Cup Hotel in Sao Paulo, Brazil. However, if there would be a flood of biblical proportions, I’m not sure if it will float let alone shelter all the animals in the world 2 by 2.

The Wonderful World of Architecture

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Now last time, I compiled a list of ugly houses most people wouldn’t want to live in. This time, it’s on to architecture outside the residential area. Now in metropolitan area, we are exposed to a lot of buildings on any given day. Most of them are built to serve a function of one sort or another. Some of them are used for businesses and commercial institutions. Others for industry. There are even those that are used for functions related to religion, governmental, recreational, academic, and other functions. While most of these buildings are designed for some sort of purpose with some giving more creativity to the architect than others. Yet, we all want these buildings to look nice since the architecture reflects how many people see us as a whole. Not to mention, nicely designed buildings attract tourists who want to see them, which means money. I could go on and on about some of the loveliest buildings in the world from the ancient Asian pagodas and medieval Gothic cathedrals to Monticello, Mount Vernon, and Victorian style mansions and palaces. Yet, you’d probably be bored to tears over such details. Instead, I’ll focus on some of the buildings designed in such a way that would make people wonder their architects were on while drawing the blueprints. Of course, most of these will be modern architecture examples by the way. Still, before I go further let me go over what this post doesn’t include:

1. Buildings that are decrepit, messy, and abandoned as well as suffering from poor upkeep.

2. Buildings constructed in poor areas and bad neighborhoods.

3. Buildings either under construction or demolished.

4. Any building that’s boarded up and seems condemned.

5. Any building suffering damage from a disaster.

6. Any establishment that’s built for solely utilitarian purposes like industrial buildings or shopping centers. Most people don’t go to admire the architecture from these places. These were buildings that were constructed to be seen.

7. Buildings not yet constructed as far as I know.

Of course, many of these will be from urban areas and pertain to establishments that are civic, commercial, academic, religious, or recreational. There may be a few residential establishments as well but they’ll mostly be apartment buildings. So now without further adieu, here are some architectural eyesores for your viewing pleasure.

1. To kick things off, here’s a great building specimen from the Soviet era.

My mistake. That's actually Boston's City Hall, which was constructed in 1968. Still, it kind of has an essence of everything you'd see in an old Soviet building like utilitarianism and austerity. Not to mention, not being much to look at.

My mistake. That’s actually Boston’s City Hall, which was constructed in 1968. Still, it kind of has an essence of everything you’d see in an old Soviet building like utilitarianism and austerity. Not to mention, not being much to look at.

2. Man, this building seems to have a lot kids T-ping it on Halloween. I wonder how they get the stuff off.

Wait a minute, that's part of the actual building? Then, why does it look like the kind of place where Spiderman would practice slinging his webs for God's sake?

Wait a minute, that’s part of the actual building? Then, why does it look like the kind of place where Spiderman would practice slinging his webs for God’s sake?

3. Behold, the giant building monster of doom!

That's actually the Portland Building in Oregon. It was built in 1982 and won a prestigious honor in 1983. Still, a columnist for The Oregonian is reputed to say some years later, "the 'huge blue tiles, colored glass and odd pastel flourishes meant to evoke early modern French paintings' actually resembled 'something designed by a Third World dictator's mistress' art-student brother.'"

That’s actually the Portland Building in Oregon. It was built in 1982 and won a prestigious honor in 1983. Still, a columnist for The Oregonian is reputed to say some years later, “the ‘huge blue tiles, colored glass and odd pastel flourishes meant to evoke early modern French paintings’ actually resembled ‘something designed by a Third World dictator’s mistress’ art-student brother.'”

4. Now here’s a building shaped like a giant robot.

This is a building from Bangkok and yes, it does resemble a giant robot who wants to "kill the humans." Still, it would've been rather appropriate for a tech company in Silicon Valley or Japan.

This is a building from Bangkok and yes, it does resemble a giant robot who wants to “kill the humans.” Still, it would’ve been rather appropriate for a tech company in Silicon Valley or Japan. By the way, it’s actually a bank.

5. Now here is an exceptional example of architectural apartment design, as if appropriate for Dr. Seuss.

This is actually an apartment building in Seattle, Washington. And while the balconies seem to be a little askew, the right most column seems like it's being consumed by a sea monster.

This is actually an apartment building in Seattle, Washington. And while the balconies seem to be a little askew, the right most column seems like it’s being consumed by a sea monster.

6. Now is this some large power plant or Darth Vader’s planetary palace?

Actually, this place is known as "The Beehive" which houses New Zealand's Parliament. But still, it pretty much looks like some evil overlord's  palace from a science fiction film.

Actually, this place is known as “The Beehive” which houses New Zealand’s Parliament. But still, it pretty much looks like some evil overlord’s palace from a science fiction film. Still, it’s said that New Zealand is a very nice place to live and a rather progressive one, too. I mean it was the first country in the world to give women the right to vote in 1893.

7. Now for those wanting to travel a country with an actual evil overlord, you might want to stay in this building as an emblem of his delusion of grandeur.

This is the Ryugyong Hotel in Pyongyang, North Korea. It's actually not quite finished from the inside as far as I know the exterior certainly is. And the fact that North Korea is trying to promote tourism may make this building soon open for business. Still, it's nicknamed, "the Hotel of Doom," and I'm not sure how such a nation with a very hostile to foreigners would want to encourage people to vacation there.

This is the Ryugyong Hotel in Pyongyang, North Korea. It’s actually not quite finished from the inside as far as I know the exterior certainly is. And the fact that North Korea is trying to promote tourism may make this building soon open for business. Still, it’s nicknamed, “the Hotel of Doom,” and I’m not sure how such a nation with a very hostile to foreigners would want to encourage people to vacation there.

8. Now here’s a very interesting spaceship or deep sea monster of some sort. Seems like it’s made out of toothpicks.

It's called the "Palacio de Congresos" and it's in Spain. I have no idea what it's supposed to be or what the architect's intent was. Nevertheless, it's pretty hideous looking as if it's some large beast from outer space.

It’s called the “Palacio de Congresos” and it’s in Spain. I have no idea what it’s supposed to be or what the architect’s intent was. Nevertheless, it’s pretty hideous looking as if it’s some large beast from outer space.

9. Large skyscraper man is watching you.

This is the Russian Embassy of Havanna. Yet, it kind of looks like some giant warrior frozen in a mixture of glass, steel, and concrete over some sort of curse. But it's still pretty intimidating.

This is the Russian Embassy of Havanna. Yet, it kind of looks like some giant warrior from a 1980s cartoon frozen in a mixture of glass, steel, and concrete over some sort of curse. But it’s still pretty intimidating.

10. I give you, the abstract castle.

Let's just say if today's architects were living in the Middle Ages, most medieval castles would look like this. Still, I think medieval lords would've executed them before such edifices would get off the ground.

Let’s just say if today’s architects were living in the Middle Ages, most medieval castles would look like this. Still, I think medieval lords would’ve executed them before such edifices would get off the ground. By the way, this building is from the Middle East.

11. What better way to top off your skyscraper than with a giant golf ball?

This is Etisalat 1 in Dubai, UAE and serves as headquarters for a telecommunications company. Now aside from being a tee to a giant golf ball, I also liken this to a fancy type of ball deodorant.

This is Etisalat 1 in Dubai, UAE and serves as headquarters for a telecommunications company. Now aside from being a tee to a giant golf ball, I also liken this to a fancy type of ball deodorant.

12. Wavy foundation, crumbled upper floors on top.

This is the IAC headquarters building in New York City. It's designed by Frank Gehry, which is why it looks like as if someone took a piece of striped paper, folded it into a paper accordion, and tore it in two before putting one on top of the other.

This is the IAC headquarters building in New York City. It’s designed by Frank Gehry, which is why it looks like as if someone took a piece of striped paper, folded it into a paper accordion, and tore it in two before putting one on top of the other. You’ll be seeing a few Gehry specimens in this post.

13. Finally, we have a nice Buddhist Temple in China.

This is the Famen Temple complex area in China's Shaanxi province. Reminds me of that Oral Roberts' University sculpture with the hands praying. Yet, geometric in gold with an Asian temple between them. The real Famen Temple is actually nice want you get through this eye shore. And you'll have to deal with a crowd, being in China and all.

This is the Famen Temple complex area in China’s Shaanxi province. Reminds me of that Oral Roberts’ University sculpture with the hands praying. Yet, geometric in gold with an Asian temple between them. The real Famen Temple is actually nice once you get through this eyesore. And you’ll have to deal with a crowd, being in China and all.

14. And now, here’s a picture of a giant stone vacuum.

Wait a minute, this is a French church for God's sake? It's called the Church Saint Peter in Firminy, France. It was designed by Le Corbuiser. Still, it just seems like this building is better suited for some other planet.

Wait a minute, this is a French church for God’s sake? It’s called the Church Saint Peter in Firminy, France. It was designed by Le Corbuiser. Still, it just seems like this building is better suited for some other planet.

15. Now what can be better than having a giant robot on your building?

I think this building is for a technical college in Japan. Still, while the figurehead looks a mix between Speed Racer and Robocop, it's fairly fitting actually. And we're well aware that Japan has a reputation with creating robots to do more things than anyone ever thought of.

I think this building is for a technical college in Japan. Still, while the figurehead looks a mix between Optimus Prime, Speed Racer, and Robocop, it’s fairly fitting actually. And we’re well aware that Japan has a reputation with creating robots to do more things than anyone ever thought of.

16. Seems like this building has been through a disaster.

This is the Ray and Maria Stata Center at MIT, which is another design by Frank Gehry. Let's just it just looks as though a hurricane blew through it. Thankfully, it's not used as MIT's school for architecture.

This is the Ray and Maria Stata Center at MIT, which is another design by Frank Gehry. Let’s just say it looks as though a hurricane blew through it. Thankfully, it’s not used as MIT’s school for architecture.

17. With the dark brown facade and multitude of chimneys, I swear this is a new factory in the wrong zone.

Actually it's the Portcullis House in London, which was built to provide offices for members in the UK Parliament. Yet, it seems to resemble some hideous Victorian mansion and factory complex from a Charles Dickens novel.

Actually it’s the Portcullis House in London, which was built to provide offices for members in the UK Parliament. Yet, it seems to resemble some hideous Victorian mansion and factory complex from a Charles Dickens novel. Also, the color is terrible.

18. For those who don’t remember, this is where James Bond works, not his enemies. Yet, some of you may not be able to tell.

It's the SIS building in London also known as the MI6 building from the James Bond movies. I know it's what you'd get if you design a military industrial complex like a 1980s wedding cake. Still, you get to see it blown up a lot in James Bond movies like Skyfall, for instance.

It’s the SIS building in London also known as the MI6 building from the James Bond movies. I know it’s what you’d get if you design a military industrial complex like a 1980s wedding cake. Still, you get to see it blown up a lot in James Bond movies like Skyfall, for instance.

19. Now this Pixel Building is very trippy, man.

This is the Pixel building in Melbourne, Australia. It's supposed to be in an experimental style of green architecture, which is why it looks like it was designed by someone on brown acid. Nevertheless, its glass pieces can change color as well as be used for several designs.

This is the Pixel building in Melbourne, Australia. It’s supposed to be in an experimental style of green architecture, which is why it looks like it was designed by someone on brown acid. Nevertheless, its glass pieces can change color as well as be used for several designs.

20. Now here is a building that would be great for a super sci-fi villain’s lair.

Now this is the Geisel Library in San Diego, built in honor of Theodore Geisel a. k. a. "Dr. Seuss." This style is more reminiscent of something you'd see from Star Wars or Close Encounters with the Third Kind. Would've been better if its chief benefactor designed this building himself.

Now this is the Geisel Library in San Diego, built in honor of Theodore Geisel a. k. a. “Dr. Seuss.” This style is more reminiscent of something you’d see from Star Wars or Close Encounters with the Third Kind. Would’ve been better if its chief benefactor designed this building himself.

21. This Saint Nicholas Catholic Church in Valais, Switzerland is the embodiment for the Swiss principles of clockwork and austerity.

If it wasn't for the stone cross, I would've mistaken this place for some surrealist Soviet prison. I mean it seems more suited as a Swiss Calvinist church than a Swiss Catholic church. Also, it's dedicated to Saint Nicholas who wasn't known for his austerity at all.

If it wasn’t for the stone cross, I would’ve mistaken this place for some surrealist Soviet prison. I mean it seems more suited as a Swiss Calvinist church than a Swiss Catholic church. Also, it’s dedicated to Saint Nicholas who wasn’t known for his austerity at all.

22. Now here’s one of the world’s biggest picnic baskets.

Fittingly, this building is a headquarters for a the Longaberger Basket Company in Ohio. Though appropriate and not very ugly, I don't know if any of Longaberger's employees would be comfortable telling their friends that they work in a basket. Boy, they must be real basket cases there.

Fittingly, this building is a headquarters for a the Longaberger Basket Company in Ohio. Though appropriate and not very ugly, I don’t know if any of Longaberger’s employees would be comfortable telling their friends that they work in a basket. Boy, they must be real basket cases there.

23. Let the Trump Tower be a testament that Donald Trump has about as good taste in architecture as he does in hairstyles.

Well, Donald Trump's hair is a literal rat infestation, this 5th Avenue tower is just a tribute to the Donald's obnoxious spoiled rich kid vanity. Also, his propensity to nostalgize himself as part of the 1980s.

Well, Donald Trump’s hair is a literal rat infestation, this 5th Avenue tower is just a tribute to the Donald’s obnoxious spoiled rich kid vanity. This place just looks like something you see from a cutting board.

24. Only in Barcelona, would anyone think a tower that resembles some light up sex toy you’d get at Spencer’s gift shop was a good idea.

Now Torre Agbar has become a symbol for Barcelona and has a lot light configurations at night. Still, let the people of Barcelona remember: if a giant came down from the beanstalk after some kid sold the family cow for some magic means, don't be surprised if he uses Torre Agbar as a dildo.

Now Torre Agbar has become a symbol for Barcelona and has a lot light configurations at night. Still, let the people of Barcelona remember: if a giant came down from the beanstalk after some kid sold the family cow for some magic means, don’t be surprised if he uses Torre Agbar as a dildo.

25. There’s nothing like a great building for a skyline than one that resembles something you’d more likely see on a hood ornament or hub cap.

This is the Aldar Headquarters Building of Abu Dhabi, UAE. It's supposed to be the world's first circular skyscraper. Still, it may cause migraines while looking at it on a warm sunny day and resembles a fly's eye.

This is the Aldar Headquarters Building of Abu Dhabi, UAE. It’s supposed to be the world’s first circular skyscraper. Still, it may cause migraines while looking at it on a warm sunny day and resembles a fly’s eye.

26. Come to Signapore and stay at the Marina Bay Sands Hotel to see the loveliest view.

Unfortunately, Signapore's Marina Bay Sands Hotel resembles a giant surfboard or an upturned subway on very thick metallic stilts.

Unfortunately, Signapore’s Marina Bay Sands Hotel resembles a giant surfboard or an upturned subway on very thick metallic stilts.

27. While Barcelona’s Agbar Tower resembles a giant light up dildo, London’s Gherkin Building looks like a fancy fabrege dildo for pleasuring Britain’s upper noble classes.

Now London does have some nice buildings. Yet, I don't get why they had to construct a building that resembles a large giant sex toy from Tiffany's? Surprised why this wasn't a subject of a Monty Python sketch.

Now London does have some nice buildings. Yet, I don’t get why they had to construct a building that resembles a large giant sex toy from Tiffany’s? Surprised why this wasn’t a subject of a Monty Python sketch.

28. Now here’s a building that resembles a large gemstone on a bulky launch pad.

This is Belarus's National Library in Minsk. Of course, it's said to have LED lights and sparkle in the night. Still, love it or hate it, it gives Minsk and Belarus the thing that all countries crave: tourists.

This is Belarus’s National Library in Minsk. Of course, it’s said to have LED lights and sparkle in the night. Still, love it or hate it, it gives Minsk and Belarus the thing that all countries crave: tourists.

29. Only in China can they erect a tower for their newspaper that resembles a giant phallus.

The Phallic symbolism of China's People's Daily tower represents how the China's authoritarian structure likes to stick it up the people's asses in regards to the freedom of expression. Yes, the Chinese people are certainly screwed on that.

The phallic symbolism of China’s People’s Daily tower represents how the China’s authoritarian structure likes to stick it up the people’s asses in regards to the freedom of expression. Yes, the Chinese people are certainly screwed on that.

30. Never has a building stood so grand as one that reminds one of a trash pile from day care center.

This is the Biomuseo in Panama City, Panama as well as another of Frank Gehry's disasterpieces. I'm surprised there aren't any flecks of glitter on it as there would be in any kiddie craft project.

This is the Biomuseo in Panama City, Panama as well as another of Frank Gehry’s disasterpieces. I’m surprised there aren’t any flecks of glitter on it as there would be in any kiddie craft project.

31. In Central China Television, it’s a combination of power in beauty. In Beijing, it’s called, “squatting man.”

This Beijing's CCTV building which is perhaps one of the few big TV stations in now not-so-Communist China. Other than being known as, "big shorts" it's also said to have high maintenance costs as well as caught fire in 2009. Thus, it's safety is a concern as well.

This Beijing’s CCTV building which is perhaps one of the few big TV stations in now not-so-Communist China. Other than being known as, “big shorts” it’s also said to have high maintenance costs as well as caught fire in 2009. Thus, it’s safety is a concern as well.

32. Now here’s a great architectural design for a space station, Darth Vader’s vacation home, or Batman’s headquarters if he decides to reveal his secret identity as Bruce Wayne.

This is the Metropolitan Cathedral of Christ the King in Liverpool. Yet, while the interior is pretty spectacular, its exterior doesn't inspire thoughts of heaven and salvation.  It's also called, "The Sacred Blender." Still, if there are any space aliens who wish to join the Catholic Church, then this would be a perfect place for them to worship.

This is the Metropolitan Cathedral of Christ the King in Liverpool. Yet, while the interior is pretty spectacular, its exterior doesn’t inspire thoughts of heaven and salvation. It’s also called, “The Sacred Blender.” Still, if there are any space aliens who wish to join the Catholic Church, then this would be a perfect place for them to worship.

33. Now let’s see here. I guess this is a combination of some glass office building and a large white spire with inspiration from Rivendell and Isengard.

This was Joel Osteen's Chrystal Cathedral which is a few miles from Disneyland in Los Angeles. It's now Christ Cathedral and part of the Catholic diocese of Orange County after the place went bankrupt. Still, I'm surprised that the high tower doesn't seem to contain the eye of Sauron.

This was the Crystal Cathedral megachurch which is a few miles from Disneyland in Los Angeles. It’s now Cathedral of Christ and part of the Catholic diocese of Orange County after the place went bankrupt. Still, I’m surprised that the high tower doesn’t seem to contain the eye of Sauron.

34. Here we come to the Rivas-Vaciamadrid Church of the Living Turd.

Actually, it's called the Parish of Saint Monica. Still, I think it's kind of disgrace and a waste of wood to dedicate this holy piece of shit to Saint Augustine's alcoholic mother. Let's just say, a church like this would drive anyone to drink.

Actually, it’s called the Parish of Saint Monica. Still, I think it’s kind of disgrace and a waste of wood to dedicate this holy piece of shit to Saint Augustine’s alcoholic mother. Let’s just say, a church like this would drive anyone to drink since it’s as ugly as sin.

35. Speaking of cathedrals, this one seems like a mix of the Beehive, the Chrystal Cathedral, and some kind of receptor for the two dildo buildings.

No disrespect to the Catholic Diocese of Oakland, but I have to confess that your Cathedral of Christ the Light is a rather terrible attempt to honor God and His mercy. Seriously, the Catholics of Oakland deserve better for their community than this sci-fi catastrophe in architecture.

No disrespect to the Catholic Diocese of Oakland, but I have to confess that your Cathedral of Christ the Light is a rather terrible attempt to honor God and His mercy. Seriously, the Catholics of Oakland deserve better for their community than this sci-fi catastrophe in architecture.

36. They call it the Elephant Building. Well, it kind of looks like one from an 1980s Atari video game.

This is the Elephant Building from Bangkok, Thailand. Let's just say it was built to resemble an elephant, but made it to practically every list of ugly buildings ever assembled. It would be tough to leave this one out.

This is the Elephant Building from Bangkok, Thailand. Let’s just say it was built to resemble an elephant, but made it to practically every list of ugly buildings ever assembled. It would be tough to leave this one out.

37. The Fang Yuan Building was based on the shape of old China coins. I’m not sure if the Chinese people bought it.

Whether a giant microchip, subway token, power generator, or whatever the hell it is, this building seems to be China's burgeoning capitalism, innovation, and a bad taste for architecture.

Whether a giant microchip, subway token, power generator, or whatever the hell it is, this building seems to be China’s burgeoning capitalism, innovation, and a bad taste for architecture.

38. Now this building seems to combine the boring federal bureaucracy with the shape of some kind of little know 1960s camcorder.

This is the Federal Building in San Francisco. Not one of the more attractive examples of Frisco architecture. Another failed example of eco-architecture.

This is the Federal Building in San Francisco. Not one of the more attractive examples of Frisco architecture. Another failed example of eco-architecture.

39. Let’s just say that Malaysia’s First World Hotel has a colorful reputation.

Let's just say that whoever was responsible for the hotel's paint job must've been totally tripping balls on some strong hallucinogenic acid or something. Perhaps its architect was on LSD at the time.

Let’s just say that whoever was responsible for the hotel’s paint job must’ve been totally tripping balls on some strong hallucinogenic acid or something. Perhaps its architect was on LSD at the time.

40. Now the Guangxi Science and Technology Museum must’ve been architecturally inspired by EPCOT surrounded by an oyster shell. Didn’t really turn out right, did it?

Then again, this might illustrate the earth over a cosmic plane or in orbit. Either way, doesn't really account much for taste. Also seems like an ideal lair for a sci-fi villain.

Then again, this might illustrate the earth over a cosmic plane or in orbit. Either way, doesn’t really account much for taste. Also seems like an ideal lair for a sci-fi villain.

41. Hello, and welcome to a victory village in the Panem capital.

Wait a minute, this is the Henan Art Center and Theater in China. Still, it loos as if there's a bunch of giant brown and gold modules. Nevertheless, I think I owe the nation of Panem an apology.

Wait a minute, this is the Henan Art Center and Theater in China. Still, it looks as if there’s a bunch of giant brown and gold modules. Nevertheless, I think I owe the nation of Panem an apology.

42. I guess the architectural inspiration for this building was Kanye West’s tennis shoes.

This is the building for the Amsterdam Marathon. Of course, the shoe design is quite appropriate, though it could sometimes be seen as an ice skate.

This is the building for the Amsterdam Marathon. Of course, the shoe design is quite appropriate, though it could sometimes be seen as an ice skate.

43. Now I’m sure this Art Deco roof isn’t going to frighten anyone. I hope.

Now this is Chicago's Harold Washington Library. Architecturally speaking, the roof seems to be the combination of The Great Gatsby meets Phantom of the Opera.

Now this is Chicago’s Harold Washington Library. Architecturally speaking, the roof seems to be the combination of The Great Gatsby meets Phantom of the Opera.

44. Now this must be architecture inspired by a square platter of graham crackers.

This is Britain's Drake Circus Shopping Mall, which isn't one of the UK's best loved buildings. Nevertheless, it was said to be the recipient for the National Loo Awards, with wiping the floor of the competition for Attendant of the Year.

This is Britain’s Drake Circus Shopping Mall, which isn’t one of the UK’s best loved buildings. Nevertheless, it was said to be the recipient for the National Loo Awards, with wiping the floor of the competition for Attendant of the Year.

45. When it comes to erecting buildings, Kosovo thinks adding some white domes to an old Communist Era structure would do much nicely.

This is Kosovo's National Library. Yet, I think the architecture seems to better resemble a maximum security prison complex from a Star Wars or Star Trek film.

This is Kosovo’s National Library. Yet, I think the architecture seems to better resemble a maximum security prison complex from a Star Wars or Star Trek film.

46. Looks like this giant robot was buried up to its neck.

Oh, wait. That's Argentina's National Library in Buenos Aires. Still, doesn't prevent the building from looking like a giant disembodied robot's head. You'd think a country who brought you Evita, Che Guevara, and Pope Francis would have better architectural taste.

Oh, wait. That’s Argentina’s National Library in Buenos Aires. Still, doesn’t prevent the building from looking like a giant disembodied robot’s head. You’d think a country who brought you Evita, Che Guevara, and Pope Francis would have better architectural taste.

47. Now this is an interesting industrial complex here. Wonder what their products are.

My mistake. That's the Lloyd's Building, headquarters of Lloyd's of London. Still, despite being a well known high end insurance company known to issue a policy on Betty Grable's legs, why they made it look like a large factory from Fritz Lang's Metropolis is beyond me.

My mistake. That’s the Lloyd’s Building, headquarters of Lloyd’s of London. Still, despite being a well known high end insurance company known to issue a policy on Betty Grable’s legs, why they made it look like a large factory from Fritz Lang’s Metropolis is beyond me.

48. The Grand Lisboa Hotel and Casino seems to give Las Vegas stiff competition when it comes to being resort tackiness.

Now Macau's Grand Lisboa seems to remind me of some high end perfume bottle a rich lady would be embarrassed to have. Oh, and did I say, it has a lot of lighting configurations at night. Still, this gives Las Vegas a run for its money.

Now Macau’s Grand Lisboa seems to remind me of some high end perfume bottle a rich lady would be embarrassed to have. Oh, and did I say, it has a lot of lighting configurations at night. Still, this gives Las Vegas a run for its money.

49. From Richmond, Virginia we have the Markel Building which seems to resemble a spaceship with the appearance of a baked potato wrapped in aluminum foil.

Yes, it looks like either a space age stadium or some massive UFO. Ironically, it was said to be inspired by a baked potato. Still, I wonder if my sister at VCU has seen this monstrosity.

Yes, it looks like either a space age stadium or some massive UFO. Ironically, it was said to be inspired by a baked potato. Still, I wonder if my sister at VCU has seen this monstrosity.

50. This building tends to remind me of some kind of giant ornate pineapple from Tiffany’s.

This is the Nanchang "Crown" Building in China. This is supposed to be a luxury hotel. Still, I don't get why it has to look like some large Faberge pineapple. This design would've been more appropriate for the Dole Corporate headquarters.

This is the Nanchang “Crown” Building in China. This is supposed to be a luxury hotel. Still, I don’t get why it has to look like some large Faberge pineapple. This design would’ve been more appropriate for the Dole Corporate headquarters.

51. Now this feat in modern architecture seems to combine the mundane office building with some touches from a Star Trek film in one.

This is the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame Museum in Cleavland. Yeah, those circular things on the pole are supposed to be records. Even its architect I. M. Pei was unhappy with this design. Then again, you can't say much for the looks of those who get inducted in it either.

This is the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame Museum in Cleavland. Yeah, those circular things on the pole are supposed to be records. Even its architect I. M. Pei was unhappy with this design. Then again, you can’t say much for the looks of those who get inducted in it either.

52. I have no idea why a festive city like Rio de Janeiro, Brazil would erect such a large nuclear power facility in such a public setting.

Oh, shit. It's Rio's Sao Sebastiao Cathedral, named after the Catholic Diocese's patron saint. It's said to be inspired by Pre-Columbian architecture. Guess the effect didn't turn out right as the architect thought. Still, it's said to light up at night and have an amazing interior.

Oh, shit. It’s Rio’s Sao Sebastiao Cathedral, named after the Catholic diocese’s patron saint. It’s said to be inspired by Pre-Columbian architecture. Guess the effect didn’t turn out right as the architect thought. Still, it’s said to light up at night and have an amazing interior.

53. Now this building looks as though it’s hit an iceberg or had an iceberg hit it.

This is the Royal Ontario Museum in Toronto, Canada. It's combined architecture of the old museum with the new Crystal Building that resembles a giant iceberg. Still, at least the old part didn't look like the Titanic or there would've been unfortunate implications.

This is the Royal Ontario Museum in Toronto, Canada. It’s combined architecture of the old museum with the new Crystal Building that resembles a giant iceberg. Still, at least the old part didn’t look like the Titanic or there would’ve been unfortunate implications.

54. Of course, this is very appropriate architecture for the National Rifle Association in Fairfax, Virginia.

On second thought, you might not want to bring your guns to this building. In fact, it's not the NRA headquarters in Fairfax, VA but the Scottish Parliament building in Edinburgh. Yes, it's incredibly atrocious. Still, what do you mean those gun things aren't guns?

On second thought, you might not want to bring your guns to this building. In fact, it’s not the NRA headquarters in Fairfax, VA but the Scottish Parliament building in Edinburgh. Yes, it’s incredibly atrocious. Still, I can’t help thinking that this would be what Wayne La Pierre would design his next house like.

55. Now this building seems to be either some sci-fi villain’s lair or the headquarters of Monster’s Inc.

It's actually Birmingham, England's Selfridge's Department Store. Still, I can't help but think that this edifice was built by creatures by another world because it sure looks like it. Let's just say it's more likely that aliens designed this building than any other archaeological site ever featured on Ancient Aliens.

It’s actually Birmingham, England’s Selfridge’s Department Store. Still, I can’t help but think that this edifice was built by creatures by another world because it sure looks like it. Let’s just say it’s more likely that aliens designed this building than any other archaeological site ever featured on Ancient Aliens.

56. Not to be outdone by LA’s Chrystal Cathedral, London built it’s own version of Isengard.

This building is called "Shard of Glass" and it's said to be the tallest building in Europe. Still, we all know that this is a monument to honor J. R. R. Tolkein and his literary work in adult fantasy. Yet, the Brits just don't want to admit it.

This building is called “Shard of Glass” and it’s said to be the tallest building in Europe. Still, we all know that this is a monument to honor J. R. R. Tolkein and his literary work in adult fantasy. Yet, the Brits just don’t want to admit it.

57. While Macau has a little piece of Las Vegas in its Lisboa Hotel and Casino, Shenzen has it in its Great China International Exchange Square Hotel.

I'm beginning to wonder if any of China's hotel architects base their hotel designs on what they saw on their last trip to Vegas. I mean this seems to be the second Vegas inspired Chinese building in this post.

I’m beginning to wonder if any of China’s hotel architects base their hotel designs on what they saw on their last trip to Vegas. I mean this seems to be the second Vegas inspired Chinese building in this post.

58. Seattle’s EMP Museum’s architecture was inspired by what Frank Gehry saw for a few seconds of his open heart surgery. That, or he was on drugs.

Now this would be a great place to exhibit Jimi Hendrix and sci-fi memorabilia. Still, one guy said that Gehry's inspiration for this was a smashed guitar and he may be right.

Now this would be a great place to exhibit Jimi Hendrix, pop culture and sci-fi memorabilia. Still, one guy said that Gehry’s inspiration for this was a smashed guitar and he may be right. Also, was called a, “blob,” “the Hemorrhoids,” and was described by someone at the New York Times as,  “something that crawled out of the sea, rolled over, and died.”

59. Welcome to what many people liken as a building more suited for a 1990s TV movie for the Syfy Channel.

This is the building for the Oakely Headquarters in Orange County, California. It's a company that made sunglasses that haven't been cool since the 1990s. Designed as a Star Wars-esque monument to the machine age to honor invention, its style has never really caught on for some reason.

This is the building for the Oakely Headquarters in Orange County, California. It’s a company that made sunglasses that haven’t been cool since the 1990s. Designed as a Star Wars-esque monument to the machine age to honor invention, its style has never really caught on for some reason.

60. Now Denver’s public library has the uniqueness of what you’d see in a Dr. Seuss story as well as the dreary color you’d see from some 1930s German horror movie.

Let's just say, while the architecture may be a bit funky, the color seems to be what you'd put on a standard business building. Still, I think it reminds me of the old German expressionist films during the silent era for some reason.

Let’s just say, while the architecture may be a bit funky, the color seems to be what you’d put on a standard business building. Still, I think it reminds me of the old German expressionist films during the silent era for some reason.

61. Welcome to Saudi Arabia, home to oil, Islamic Fundamentalism, terrorists, Saudi Royal Family, oppression of women, and this giant fancy bottle opener.

This is Riyadh's Al-Mamlakah Tower and Kingdom Centre. It's the most famous building from the city as well as hotel and shopping mall. Also, lights up at night.

This is Riyadh’s Al-Mamlakah Tower and Kingdom Centre. It’s the most famous building from the city as well as hotel and shopping mall. Also, lights up at night.

62. I now give you the summer residence of Darth Sidious.

Actually that's the Robarts Library for humanities and social sciences at Canada's University of Toronto. Still, it's a more fitting design for a Cold War era propaganda machine or the Ministry of Truth from 1984.

Actually that’s the Robarts Library for humanities and social sciences at Canada’s University of Toronto. Still, it’s a more fitting design for a Cold War era propaganda machine or the Ministry of Truth from 1984.

63. Now that’s a very imposing air traffic control tower there.

It's the Obelisk building in Peru. Of course, this is the kind of architecture that appears when you put the large tower of Isengard in some kind of cyber punk science fiction film like Bladerunner.

It’s the Obelisk building in Peru. Of course, this is the kind of architecture that appears when you put the large tower of Isengard in some kind of cyber punk science fiction film like Bladerunner.

64. Now this looks like a combination between an amusement park ride and an air traffic control tower with a giant ribbon coming out of it.

I don't know where this building's from. Yet, wherever it is, it's not an amusement park ride or air traffic control tower. Still, this wouldn't make my dad any more eager to get on it though.

I don’t know where this building’s from. Yet, wherever it is, it’s not an amusement park ride or air traffic control tower. Still, this wouldn’t make my dad any more eager to get on it though.

65. Now this is the Nantong Sword Building which resembles more like a laser pointer than an actual sword.

Let's just say that if this Chinese building would be shaped like an actual sword or possibly a lightsaber, it would've been way cooler. But alas, it resembles something that your cat would chase.

Let’s just say that if this Chinese building would be shaped like an actual sword or possibly a lightsaber, it would’ve been way cooler. But alas, it resembles something that your cat would chase.

66. This is either some shiny blob from another world or some alien spaceship.

This is a new landmark from South Korea in Seoul. Look, I understand that they're trying to show off their wealth in North Korea's face. Yet, I don't why anyone would erect such a monstrosity.

This is a new landmark from South Korea in Seoul. Look, I understand that they’re trying to show off their wealth in North Korea’s face. Yet, I don’t why anyone would erect such a monstrosity. Maybe they should’ve erected one of a giant Hyundai since they’re what South Korea is being known for.

67. Now I give you, the large evil crown of Roboqueen.

I know you wouldn't believe this but it's actually an Orthodox church in Moldova. Still, when it comes to ugliness, I knew that the Soviets wouldn't let me down.

I know you wouldn’t believe this but it’s actually the Kishinev State Circus in Moldova. Still, when it comes to ugliness, I knew that the Soviets wouldn’t let me down.

68. Now here’s a great piece of real estate for a James Bond villain.

This is actually a resort hotel at a beach in Yalta, a well known Russian vacation spot in the Soviet Era. Still, it does remind me of Dr. No's place for some reason.

This is actually a resort hotel at a beach in Yalta, a well known Russian vacation spot in the Soviet Era. Still, it does remind me of Dr. No’s place for some reason.

69. I guess this must’ve been an old Soviet industrial complex that was abandoned years ago.

It's actually the Fyodor Dostoyevsky Novogrod Theater. It was built in the 1960s to honor an author whose Christian existentialist works included novels about murdering old pawn brokers and their mentally disabled sisters as well as one of the most dysfunctional families in all of literature.

It’s actually the Fyodor Dostoyevsky Novogrod Theater. It was built in the 1960s to honor an author whose Christian existentialist works included novels about a Nietzsche wannabe murdering old pawn brokers and their mentally disabled sisters as well as one of the most dysfunctional families in all of literature. Still, between this and an industrial park, I can’t tell the difference.

70. I now give you the Gillette Razor Building.

This is the Strata SE 1 in London, UK. It's a residential building and eco-construction but it would've been perfect for Gillette corporate headquarters for a very obvious reason.

This is the Strata SE 1 in London, UK. It’s a residential building and eco-construction but it would’ve been perfect for Gillette corporate headquarters for a very obvious reason. Said to be one of the more sustainable edifices on this list though.

71. Now China’s Millennium Monument seems to resemble a concrete petri dish with something very sharp sticking out.

This monument is in Beijing and it seems to resemble something from the former Soviet Union than anything. As with the giant needle sticking out, I have no idea.

This monument is in Beijing and it seems to resemble something from the former Soviet Union than anything. As with the giant needle sticking out, I have no idea.

72. I suppose this building looks like a fancy can of wrinkle cream but I’m not sure.

This is an old Soviet style hotel in Kiev, Ukraine. One person writes, "it resembled an immense potato-masher grenade, wider at the top than the bottom."

This is an old Soviet style hotel in Kiev, Ukraine. One person writes, “it resembled an immense potato-masher grenade, wider at the top than the bottom.”

73. Now this seems like a couple of nice looking abnormally shaped bollocks.

During the Soviet Era, this was Kiev's Crematorium. Yet, while most crematoriums aren't known for their architecture as this one is, it's still seems more appropriate structure for Tattooine.

During the Soviet Era, this was Kiev’s Crematorium. Yet, while most crematoriums aren’t known for their architecture as this one is, it’s still seems more appropriate structure for Tattooine.

74. Now here is a nice picture of a nice stone church in Europe.

Seriously, this is a church? How can anyone could design such a monstrous house of prayer? This is called Saint Bernadette in Banlay, France while some think it's a piece from the movie Prometheus.

Seriously, this is a church? How can anyone could design such a monstrous house of prayer? This is called Saint Bernadette in Banlay, France while some think it’s a piece from the movie Prometheus.

75. Now this seems to be an incredibly giant piece of construction here.

Wait a minute. Despite it's rather sleek utilitarian appearance and unfinished look, this is the Umeda Sky Building from Osaka, Japan. Of course, it's a really big eyesore on its skyline.

Wait a minute. Despite it’s rather sleek utilitarian appearance and unfinished look, this is the Umeda Sky Building from Osaka, Japan. Of course, it’s a really big eyesore on its skyline.

76. Nothing puts the heavenly spirit in a cathedral than being constructed as some outer space tent all covered with slimy tentacles.

This is Brazil's Metropolitana de Nossa Senhora Aparecida in Brasilia as well as the seat for its local Catholic Archdiocese. It was built in the 1970s and certainly looks like it.  The interior is a combination of a church atmosphere and almost being devoured by a giant squid.

This is Brazil’s Metropolitana de Nossa Senhora Aparecida in Brasilia as well as the seat for its local Catholic Archdiocese. It was built in the 1970s and certainly looks like it. The interior is a combination of a church atmosphere and almost being devoured by a giant squid.

77. While this is supposed to be Vienna’s Church of the Most Holy Trinity, the outside suggests Stonehenge.

Now this architecture would've been perfect for converting Celts to Christianity in the Middle Ages. Yet, that ship has already sailed by this point.

Now this architecture would’ve been perfect for converting Celts to Christianity in the Middle Ages. Yet, that ship has already sailed by this point.

78. While Mexico City isn’t a nice place by any means, it’s home to one of the world’s largest cubed traffic lights.

It's called "La Lavadora" or "the Washing Machine" in the heart of Mexico City's business district. Also lights up and features a pyramid. Still, "washing machine" makes better sense.

It’s called “La Lavadora” or “the Washing Machine” in the heart of Mexico City’s business district. Also lights up and features a pyramid. Still, “washing machine” makes better sense.

79. Only in China can you have a building consisting of two large plaid hand grenades.

This is the Zhangzhou Sewage Treatment Plant in China. Now sewage treatment plants aren't known for their architecture. Yet, this one does solely on it's massive sized tartan balloons alone.

This is the Zhangzhou Sewage Treatment Plant in China. Now sewage treatment plants aren’t known for their architecture. Yet, this one does solely on its massive sized tartan balloons alone.

80. For any Muslim on their pilgrimage to Mecca, Saudi Arabia, stay at the Mecca Hotel Royal Clock Tower or the Abraj Al-Bait Towers.

Man, looks like the Saudi Royal family really wants to make money from these Hajjis in Mecca. Still, kind of reminds me of what a supervillain would have as a clock tower if he or she ever achieved world domination.

Man, looks like the Saudi Royal family really wants to make money from these Hajjis in Mecca. Still, kind of reminds me of what a supervillain would have as a clock tower if he or she ever achieved world domination. One person says this edifice complex is like giving the middle finger for taste and elegance. Not to mention, it’s now the second tallest building in the world.

The Wonderful World of Playgrounds

playground

In our day in age, playgrounds are seen as places for children to experience the great outdoors, exercise, and frolic in a set of equipment in an urbanized environment. Of course, what kid doesn’t like to go on a slide, monkey bars, seesaws, swings, or the merry go round. Sometimes there may be a carousel where kids can ride on the horses as carnival music plays in the background. Now I can go on and on how so many of these playgrounds have cutesy and kid friendly imagery that makes such an outdoor wonderland all kid friendly and fun for the whole family. But of course, you wouldn’t want to see that. Instead, I’ll show you pictures of playgrounds that might traumatize your kids in years to come or may be just plain inappropriate. And I’m not going to show pictures of abandoned playgrounds which may be unsafe and unsanitary either. They’re either playground pieces designed by people on drugs, wanting to show artistic expression, or have no artistic skills to pull off any child friendly imagery. So without further adieu, here are some playground pieces that might scare off the kiddies. Also, most of these are in Russia by the way and some of these images may not be safe for work.

1. Jump over the low hanging bars with the white rhino and pig.

I'm sure if these were real, they wouldn't be very friendly. In fact, they seem like they would more likely eat children than play with them.

I’m sure if these were real, they wouldn’t be very friendly. In fact, they seem like they would more likely eat children than play with them.

2. Oh, look, a peasant family seems to be trying to uproot a new turnip.

I'm not sure what's going on between the mom and the dad but whatever it is, I don't want to know.

I’m not sure what’s going on between the mom and the dad but whatever it is, I don’t want to know. Still, I don’t know whether that’s really a plant or not.

3. Go ahead, climb up that friendly snake or dinosaur.

No, I don't think I'd want kids climbing on top of that thing. After all, it seems hungry for children as I could tell from its blank eyes and smile.

No, I don’t think I’d want kids climbing on top of that thing. After all, it seems hungry for children as I could tell from its blank eyes and smile.

4. Hey, kids, here is the Mirror People.

Of course, I'm sure they're not dangerous. Yet, I can't really tell by their blank but reflective expressions. Still, they'd be very great for a horror movie.

Of course, I’m sure they’re not dangerous. Yet, I can’t really tell by their blank but reflective expressions. Still, they’d be very great for a horror movie and could be aliens with ambitions for world domination for all I care.

5. You can always have great fun while playing in somebody’s chest cavity.

Now I wonder where those yellow legs came from. Still, this is kind of fucked up if you know what I mean.

Now I wonder where those yellow feet came from. Still, this is kind of fucked up if you know what I mean.

6. Oh, look, here’s Poseidon just arrived out of the ocean.

Now I think I've just become afraid of Poseidon since his arrival with his Hippocampi seem like he's just arrived from Hell instead of the sea.

Now I think I’ve just become afraid of Poseidon since his arrival with his Hippocampi seem like he’s just arrived from Hell instead of the sea.

7. Of course, he’s just an old harmless elf from the Keebler Tree.

Of course, he only has a machine gun and thinks he's the psycho soldier you see in any Vietnam War themed epic. You don't want to go near him.

Of course, he only has a machine gun and thinks he’s the psycho soldier you see in any Vietnam War themed epic. You don’t want to go near him.

8. Climb up and slide down this giant man’s legs.

Now how many legs does this guy have? It doesn't seem to be just two. Also, he doesn't have a nice expression on his face.

Now how many legs does this guy have? It doesn’t seem to be just two. Also, he doesn’t have a nice expression on his face.

9. Just a pig minding his own business.

Of course, Crispy Bacon just needed to take a short whiz since he'd been holding it in all day. He didn't expect to be caught by police for the crime of public urination or indecent exposure.

Of course, Crispy Bacon just needed to take a short whiz since he’d been holding it in all day. He didn’t expect to be caught by police for the crime of public urination or indecent exposure.

10. C’mon, kids, why don’t you just roll this beam with Bearikins and his pal Satan.

Now to see the Prince of Darkness in a playground piece would make me want to question the designer's judgement. I mean why is Satan in a playground seriously?

Now to see the Prince of Darkness in a playground piece would make me want to question the designer’s judgement. I mean why is Satan in a playground seriously? He’s the Devil.

11. Hey, there’s Harry the Hedgehog with an apple.

Don't look at me, but I think that apple is poisoned. I mean Harry the Hedgehog doesn't seem like he's up to any good. Also wants your soul.

Don’t look at me, but I think that apple is poisoned. I mean Harry the Hedgehog doesn’t seem like he’s up to any good. Also wants your soul.

12. Now isn’t that nice? Here’s the Big Bad Wolf and Peter Cottontail playing Twister.

Now this scene could either have the wolf eating the rabbit or something you wouldn't want to see in a Disney movie. Either way, it ain't good and may take playing with your food to a whole new meaning.

Now this scene could either have the wolf eating the rabbit or something you wouldn’t want to see in a Disney movie. Either way, it ain’t good and may take playing with your food to a whole new meaning.

13. “Greetings, earthlings, we come in peace.”

Now what the hell are these? They are either aliens from another galaxy or possibly the children of the corn. Yet, judging from their red eyes, I'm not sure they're harmless.

Now what the hell are these? They are either aliens from another galaxy or possibly the children of the corn. Yet, judging from their red eyes, I’m not sure they’re harmless.

14. Oh, dear, the poor dog hurt his leg.

I'm sure Scruffy set the mailman straight once and for all. Of course, he didn't have time to clean up the blood all over his fur though.

I’m sure Scruffy set the mailman straight once and for all. Of course, he didn’t have time to clean up the blood all over his fur though.

15. It’s fun to play on top of these, uh whatever they are.

Looks like these animals seemed to be some post-acpocalyptic monsters that arisen from some nuclear fall out from what I can tell. I wonder if these two souls know the truth.

Looks like these animals seemed to be some post-apocalyptic monsters that arisen from some nuclear fall out from what I can tell. I wonder if these two souls know the truth.

16. Now this creature seems like he’s really enjoying himself.

Unfortunately this young woman and her companion in the picture were never seen again after this. They thought going in the monster's mouth would just be a nice photo op. They had no idea.

Unfortunately this young woman and her companion in the picture were never seen again after this. They thought going in the monster’s mouth would just be a nice photo op. They had no idea of what lay before them.

17. Ladies and Gentlemen, I give you the Joker.

Of course, seeing the Joker at a playground is never a good thing. He might blow it up and send the kiddies to kingdom come unless Batman shows up first.

Of course, seeing the Joker at a playground is never a good thing. He might blow it up and send the kiddies to kingdom come unless Batman shows up first.

18. C’mon kiddies, we want to play with you. Don’t be scared.

I'm an adult and even I find these supposedly kiddie figures terrifying for some reason. I'm sure they intend to suck the souls out of the children which is why they don't come out to play.

I’m an adult and even I find these supposedly kiddie figures terrifying for some reason. I’m sure they intend to suck the souls out of the children which is why they don’t come out to play.

19. Come and enjoy accordion music with Crocky and his friends.

I'm sure Crocky won't harm anybody but I'm not sure if I could trust him beneath his Elton John glasses. Also, his gremlin friend is missing an arm and is not happy about it.

I’m sure Crocky won’t harm anybody but I’m not sure if I could trust him beneath his Elton John glasses. Also, his gremlin friend is missing an arm and is not happy about it. Now I’m not sure if I want to hear, “Crocodile Polka.”

20. Take a trip on this lovely amusement park ride with Cthulhu.

I'm sure Cthulhu is a perfectly decent figure who won't do any harm to your kids. Of course, I was being sarcastic because Cthulhu is one of the more dangerous mythological entities that would annihilate you.

I’m sure Cthulhu is a perfectly decent figure who won’t do any harm to your kids. Of course, I was being sarcastic because Cthulhu is one of the more dangerous mythological entities that would annihilate you.

21. Come up and play with the house monsters and have a great time.

Those house monsters seem empty and only appear to have playground equipment with them so they could lure in children to devour.

Those house monsters seem empty and only appear to have playground equipment with them so they could lure in children to devour.

22. Nurse wants you to take your medicine.

Of course, this nurse may make you want to not venture into a doctor's office. Also, despite the stuffed rabbit in her arms, she is simply terrifying.

Of course, this nurse may make you want to not venture into a doctor’s office. Also, despite the stuffed rabbit in her arms, she is simply terrifying.

23. The doctor will now administer your shot please.

Now why in the hell would anyone have a playground figure like this? I mean there are adults terrified of needles, let alone kids. Horrifying indeed.

Now why in the hell would anyone have a playground figure like this? I mean there are adults terrified of needles, let alone kids. Horrifying indeed.

24. C’mon, play under the giant green octopus.

Let's hope this giant green octopus doesn't come to life and eat any children passing under it. Of course, there's suspicion that he may be responsible for eating some missing children in these parts.

Let’s hope this giant green octopus doesn’t come to life and eat any children passing under it. Of course, there’s suspicion that he may be responsible for eating some missing children in these parts.

25. Climb up and slide down this giant fly.

Now take it from someone who knows. It's a verified fact that large monstrous insects are terrifying. And this giant playground fly slide is no exception.

Now take it from someone who knows. It’s a verified fact that large monstrous insects are terrifying. And this giant playground fly slide is no exception.

26. Come up and slide on the giant lizard.

Now a realistic giant lizard for a slide is just too realistic and creepy. Still, why?

Now a realistic giant lizard for a slide is just too realistic and creepy. Still, why do this if it’s not a playground associated with reptiles?

27. Have some fun playing in a giant spider web.

Now I don't care what anyone else says about this. However, giant spiders are creepy, especially if they make giant webs. And we all know what a spider web is for.

Now I don’t care what anyone else says about this. However, giant spiders are creepy, especially if they make giant webs. And we all know what a spider web is for.

28. Come and play at the playground with the giant bugs.

Now, kiddos, I bring you the playground of your nightmares. Or rather my nightmares. Seriously, what's with the giant bugs?

Now, kiddos, I bring you the playground of your nightmares. Or rather my nightmares. Seriously, what’s with the giant bugs?

29. Now have your kids relive the Lilliputian experience with the Gulliver’s Travels playground set.

Still, I wonder if the designer realized that Gulliver's Travels isn't for kids. Seriously, Jonathan Swift wrote for adults.

Still, I wonder if the designer realized that Gulliver’s Travels isn’t for kids. Seriously, Jonathan Swift wrote for adults and yet Gulliver’s travels on Lilliput seem to be continuously adapted in children’s media.

30. Aw, look at the cute little playground animals.

Now this is no playground I want to be in. Seriously, this looks like a "Carnival of Nightmares," especially with that 4 footed clown faced statue.

Now this is no playground I want to be in. Seriously, this looks like a “Carnival of Nightmares,” especially with that 4 footed clown faced statue. Just because it’s in bright colors doesn’t mean it’s not scary.

31. These little black monsters just want to play with you.

Seriously, these aren't cute. They're creepy as hell, especially at night. I mean they seem like they want to eat you alive or something.

Seriously, these aren’t cute. They’re creepy as hell, especially at night. I mean they seem like they want to eat you alive or something.

32. Now every playground has to have a nice dog since everyone loves them.

I guess the inspiration for this was the designer seeing a ferocious junk yard dog that you wouldn't want to go near. More like a junk yard dog you'd see from the Muppets.

I guess the inspiration for this was the designer seeing a ferocious junk yard dog that you wouldn’t want to go near. More like a junk yard dog you’d see from the Muppets.

33. Oh, look here’s a centaur.

Please let this be a creature that walks on all fours. However, I really don't want to know which end is used for what. Just don't ask me.

Please let this be a creature that walks on all fours. However, I really don’t want to know which end is used for what. Just don’t ask me.

34. Look, kiddies, see the bird now go play on it.

I think I just regret saying that because this piece just scares the living crap out of me. Also, I'm not sure if I'd call it a bird or not.

I think I just regret saying that because this piece just scares the living crap out of me. Also, I’m not sure if I’d call it a bird or not.

35. Now let’s just frolic with this serpent thing near a manhole.

Let's just say whoever's fixing the pipes from under there should better get out from a different manhole. I mean this beast is prepared to kill you.

Let’s just say whoever’s fixing the pipes from under there should better get out from a different manhole. I mean this beast is prepared to kill you.

36. Playing on a mouse trap is so fun.

Seriously, Russia, this is one of the most fucked up pieces of playground equipment I've ever seen. I mean why would anyone think that a dead mouse in a mousetrap is a good idea for a kids' playground piece. Giant rats are terrifying enough but seeing them dead in a giant mouse trap, well, that's sick.

Seriously, Russia, this is one of the most fucked up pieces of playground equipment I’ve ever seen. I mean why would anyone think that a dead mouse in a mousetrap is a good idea for a kids’ playground piece. Giant rats are terrifying enough but seeing them dead in a giant mouse trap, well, that’s sick.

37. Climb atop on the dragon with the three colored bottles attached to him.

Sure it's a dragon but I wonder if it has those bottles to lure in adults instead of kids. Then again, I don't know what they symbolize.

Sure it’s a dragon but I wonder if it has those bottles to lure in adults instead of kids. Then again, I don’t know what they symbolize.

38. Now come inside a giant guy’s head to keep yourselves warm.

Now this is just messed up. I really don't understand why a playground piece like this exists and probably never will.

Now this is just messed up. I really don’t understand why a playground piece like this exists and probably never will.

39. This little boy seems to enjoy riding the shroom monster.

Though it dwells in aquatic habitats, the shroom monster eats shrooms. Also, this sculpture was probably created by somebody  on shrooms. Still, it does have a nightmarishly pleased look about it.

Though it dwells in aquatic habitats, the shroom monster eats shrooms. Also, this sculpture was probably created by somebody on shrooms. Still, it does have a nightmarishly pleased look about it.

40. Now here’s a nice lovely little fountain for a great aesthetic playground look.

Now I may understand that the figures may have lost their arms due to years of neglect. However, why the hell are they naked? Aren't playgrounds supposed to be for children for God's sake?

Now I may understand that the figures may have lost their arms due to years of neglect. However, why the hell are they naked? Aren’t playgrounds supposed to be for children for God’s sake?

41. The 3 headed green dragon really just wants to play.

Of course, I've never seen a 3 headed dragon this eager since Comic Con. I mean it certainly seems to take delight in devouring helpless nerds who want to pose with it for photo ops.

Of course, I’ve never seen a 3 headed dragon this eager since Comic Con. I mean it certainly seems to take delight in devouring helpless nerds who want to pose with it for photo ops.

42. Of course, what’s a playground without climbing rope?

Is it just me or do these playground ropes seem to be tied like hanging nooses at the ends? Of course, I hope this isn't in Russia and that kid doesn't seem to have to end it all. Because I know a convenient place he could do it.

Is it just me or do these playground ropes seem to be tied like hanging nooses at the ends? Of course, I hope this isn’t in Russia and that kid doesn’t seem to want to end it all. Because I know a convenient place he could do it.

43. Have a ball on the cow tongue slide.

Looks like this giant mutant 3 tongued mad cow was the result of a genetic experiment gone horribly wrong. That or perhaps it being an alien from outer space.

Looks like this giant mutant 3 tongued mad cow was the result of a genetic experiment gone horribly wrong. That or perhaps it being an alien from outer space.

44. Welcome to Satan’s fun house.

Now why would anyone think about using the Prince of Darkness as a mouth for a playground piece? Oh, I forget this is an Oni from Japan since it says Tokyo Times on the corner. Still, Oni and demons tend to look very similar.

Now why would anyone think about using the Prince of Darkness as a mouth for a playground piece? Oh, I forget this is an Oni from Japan since it says Tokyo Times on the corner.  My mistake. Still, Oni and demons tend to look very similar.

45. Oh, look at that cute little bear cub.

Okay, now real bear cubs don't look like they're something straight off from a science fiction TV show. This one does. Still, the fact that this cub lacks a nose makes it all the more disturbing.

Okay, now real bear cubs don’t look like they’re something straight off from a science fiction TV show. This one does. Still, the fact that this cub lacks a nose makes it all the more disturbing.

46. Hey, at least this elephant sculpture in Russia isn’t so scary.

Wait a minute, this one has kids climb into the elephant and slide out of its rear end. Oh, that's just gross. Seriously, why?

Wait a minute, this one has kids climb into the elephant and slide out of its rear end. Oh, that’s just gross. Seriously, why?

47. Now this is nice. A bunch of rainbow colored kids with hoops. Wonder what can go wrong there.

Is it just me or do these kids look like they're peeing and those hoops are waves of their piss over the tracks? This is disgusting. I mean why does this structure exist in the first place?

Is it just me or do these kids look like they’re peeing and those hoops are waves of their piss over the tracks? This is disgusting. I mean why does this structure exist in the first place?

48. Now here’s one with some girl about to get devoured by a giant wicked witch.

I know King Kong isn't exactly for kids. Yet, I think if a giant gorilla was in the place of the scary witch, I think it would be less likely to give children nightmares. Just sayin.'

I know King Kong isn’t exactly for kids. Yet, I think if a giant gorilla was in the place of the scary witch, I think it would be less likely to give children nightmares. Just sayin.’

49. Oh, cute, a veterinarian trying to see if the wild animals are healthy. What can possibly go wrong with that?

Then again, it could be just Walter White administering his special blue meth to the woodland creatures. I mean there's always a way to expand his drug operation isn't it?

Then again, it could be just Walter White administering his special blue meth to the woodland creatures. I mean there’s always a way to expand his drug operation isn’t there?

50. Now look at this nice little equipment piece.

This reminds me of a horror movie known as The Human Centipede except that it didn't walk around in circles. Still, for a playground equipment, this is fucked up.

This reminds me of a horror movie known as The Human Centipede except that it didn’t walk around in circles. Still, for a playground equipment, this is fucked up.

51. Now finally, a playground piece on “Little Red Riding Hood.”

Now this is just disturbing. Looks like the wolf is about to eat Little Red and he's not even in Grandma's nightie yet. Now that's doomed to traumatized kids for years.

Now this is just disturbing. Looks like the wolf is about to eat Little Red and he’s not even in Grandma’s nightie yet. Now that’s doomed to traumatized kids for years.

52. Okay, so there’s a statue of a bunch of kids playing. Now what can possibly go wrong with that?

Now this is just so inappropriate on many levels. Seriously, what the fuck? Also what's that in the back kid's butt? Okay, I don't want to know.

Now this is just so inappropriate on many levels. Seriously, what the fuck? Also what’s that in the back kid’s butt? Okay, I don’t want to know.

53. You don’t want to cross this 3 headed dragon.

Now despite the graffiti and years of neglect, this statue is just as terrifying as ever. Seriously, it looks hungry for children.

Now despite the graffiti and years of neglect, this statue is just as terrifying as ever. Seriously, it looks hungry for children.

54. Now join Hammy the pig and ride this magical carousel.

Ewww, seems that Hammy has man boobs or something. That's just not right on so many levels. Perhaps he should just cover up before the butcher comes.

Ewww, seems that Hammy has man boobs or something. That’s just not right on so many levels. Perhaps he should just cover up before the butcher comes.

55. So while you’re at the park, kiddos, don’t forget to slide down the cheese grater.

This boy seems utterly scared for dear life landing on the cheese grating slide. Perhaps he didn't see where he'd land before going down the slide.

This boy seems utterly scared for dear life landing on the cheese grating slide. Perhaps he didn’t see where he’d land before going down the slide.

56. Climb up and go down the slide through somebody’s giant disembodied head.

Now this is messed up. Let's just say modern sculpture and playground equipment don't mix okay? Also, kind of creepy to slide through somebody's ear to their neck.

Now this is messed up. Let’s just say modern sculpture and playground equipment don’t mix okay? Also, kind of creepy to slide through somebody’s ear to their neck.

57. Come up and play on this giant robot.

Of course, it's very angry and keeps telling itself to, "Kill the humans!" but being partway stuck in green astroturf makes it impossible.

Of course, it’s very angry and keeps telling itself to, “Kill the humans!” but being partway stuck in green astroturf makes it impossible.

58. Now let’s sit beside this nice old lady.

Okay, she seems like she seems less inclined in giving out sugar cookies and more likely to put you in the oven. Trust me, her eyes reveal the depths of her evil soul.

Okay, she seems like she seems less inclined in giving out sugar cookies and more likely to put you in the oven. Trust me, her eyes reveal the depths of her evil soul.

59. Now, kids, you can slide down a ferocious gorilla.

Now why did they put a slide at King Kong's right boob for God's sake? This is crazy. Then again between his legs would've been worse.

Now why did they put a slide at King Kong’s right boob for God’s sake? This is crazy. Then again between his legs would’ve been worse.

60. Now here’s a statue of a nice little creature we may not know about.

My mistake. Actually this little creature seems quite terrifying to say the least. I mean it doesn't seem to be quite happy.

My mistake. Actually this little creature seems quite terrifying to say the least. I mean it doesn’t seem to be quite happy as well as has a certain blood lust for vengeance.

61. Now that’s nice a cute little sheep playground piece. What can go wrong with that?

Wait a minute, that's not a sheep. It's a mutant creature with a sheep's head from Soviet genetic engineering. Now that's one of the scariest things I've ever seen.

Wait a minute, that’s not a sheep. It’s a mutant creature with a sheep’s head from Soviet genetic engineering. Now that’s one of the scariest things I’ve ever seen.

62. Now these two seem to have a very good time.

Oh, God, please don't tell me what I think the deer and the crocodile are doing. Either this will end in a bloodbath or something more depraved and ghastly I can't post on this blog.

Oh, God, please don’t tell me what I think the deer and the crocodile are doing. Either this will end in a bloodbath or something more depraved and ghastly I can’t post on this blog.

63. Come to the pool to swim with the wolf and the rabbit.

Now the wolf seems rather friendly. The rabbit on the other hand, not so much. In fact, from the look on his face, he seems to secretly hope that you drown.

Now the wolf seems rather friendly. The rabbit on the other hand, not so much. In fact, from the look on his face, he seems to secretly hope that you drown.

64. Now climb aboard this funky bird or psychedelic cuckoo.

Now this playground piece was perhaps created by someone on acid or too much vodka. Either that, or it's a bird that's simply out of its world. Still, very freaky and unlike anything that I ever saw to say the least.

Now this playground piece was perhaps created by someone on acid or too much vodka. Either that, or it’s a bird that’s simply out of its world. Still, very freaky and unlike anything that I ever saw to say the least.

65. Hey, kids, climb upon the giant crocodile.

For one, that croc seems very scary and perhaps too realistic to be kid friendly in any way. Second, are those knives coming out of it? Third, I don't think this is a safe piece for children to climb on to say the least.

For one, that croc seems very scary and perhaps too realistic to be kid friendly in any way. Second, are those knives coming out of it? Third, I don’t think this is a safe piece for children to climb on to say the least.

66. Now here is a nice girl statue in the park.

Well, now I know which playground the girl from The Exorcist hangs out at. Remind me to stay away from that place.

Well, now I know which playground the girl from The Exorcist hangs out at. Remind me to stay away from that place.

67. Aw, look at that little girl sitting with Cthulhu?

I'm sure this is nothing like having your kid sit on Santa Claus' lap. Rather this is much more disturbing since Cthulhu is pure evil. Hey, why is Cthulhu in a playground anyway?

I’m sure this is nothing like having your kid sit on Santa Claus’ lap. Rather this is much more disturbing since Cthulhu is pure evil. Hey, why is Cthulhu in a playground anyway?

68. Let’s play on this large yellow, whatever it is?

The fact this creature is eyeless with a toothy smile makes me not want to go near it. I mean, it's the stuff of nightmares.

The fact this creature is eyeless with a toothy smile makes me not want to go near it. I mean, it’s the stuff of nightmares.

69. Aw, look at that cute little sheep.

This piece of mutton may look harmless. Yet, look into its eyes and it seems to have a sinister disposition.

This piece of mutton may look harmless. Yet, look into its eyes and it seems to have a sinister disposition. I would worry about that coming to life.

70. Climb aboard and play on this large, block monster.

Now this guy reminds me of the Tin Man from the Wizard of Oz. Well, the Tin Man if he didn't have a heart and didn't want one.

Now this guy reminds me of the Tin Man from the Wizard of Oz. Well, the Tin Man if he didn’t have a heart and didn’t want one.

71. Now let’s run through the tall guy in green’s legs.

I'm sure the tall guy reminds me of the giant from "Jack in the Beanstalk" if he was a really natty dresser. Still, he may lust for the blood of an Englishman, or a Russian in that matter. Of course, he'll take what he can get.

I’m sure the tall guy reminds me of the giant from “Jack in the Beanstalk” if he was a really natty dresser. Still, he may lust for the blood of an Englishman, or a Russian in that matter. Of course, he’ll take what he can get.

72. Hey, look at that nice friendly robot.

This is actually one of the few American playground pieces on this list. Still, it doesn't seem to look very friendly or has some sneaky side. Also, its walls remind me of a prison.

This is actually one of the few American playground pieces on this list. Still, it doesn’t seem to look very friendly or has some sneaky side. Also, its walls remind me of a prison.

73. Now let’s play on this old Soviet tank. It’s fun.

Now there are some pieces that should never be recycled into playground equipment. Tanks are one of these. Still, why Russia, why?

Now there are some pieces that should never be recycled into playground equipment. Tanks are one of these. Still, why Russia, why?

74. Now there’s Count Orlok sucking his fingers.

Yes, that certainly reminds me of the vampire I've seen from the 1922 horror classic Nosferatu. At least he didn't sparkle in the sunlight unlike another vampire we're familiar with.

Yes, that certainly reminds me of the vampire I’ve seen from the 1922 horror classic Nosferatu. At least he didn’t sparkle in the sunlight unlike another vampire we’re familiar with.

75. Oh, look it’s the 3 little pigs.

Or at least the soulless recreations of them. Still, I don't mind if the Big Bad Wolf eats them for I'd fear they'd eat me.

Or at least the soulless recreations of them. Still, I don’t mind if the Big Bad Wolf eats them for I’d fear they’d eat me.