Fun with Easter Bonnets (Fifth Edition)

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Now it’s on to Easter bonnets. After all, it wouldn’t be Easter if we didn’t have these outrageous spring hats. Anyway, what began as an item women would show off during the Easter Sunday church services has become a must have for men, women, and kids. Now you have plenty of crazy hats on the Easter parade, particularly in New York City. Of all the years I’ve written these Easter bonnet posts, I’ve seen plenty of these hats depicting not only Easter motifs and signs of spring, but also other things like Angry Birds, dinosaurs, and Star Wars. Sometimes these were kids’ craft projects from school. Sometimes these are adult creations meant to show off their fashion or artistic skills. Nonetheless, for your reading pleasure, I give you another assortment of crazy Easter bonnets. Enjoy.

  1. Even a canary must have their own Easter bonnet.
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Though it’s in a cage for good measure. Yet, the cage is opened for some reason.

2. No Easter bonnet can have enough pom pom chicks.

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Also includes yellow feathers, eggs, and bunnies. Like the bejeweled butterflies.

3. You can’t celebrate Easter without wearing a large egg.

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Sits atop on pink flowers and white lilies. Contains a bunny and eggs inside.

4. Hope you can catch your favorite neighborhood Spider Bunny.

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This is an Easter version of Spiderman. And yes, this hat was made for a boy.

5. Perhaps you might like a large flower hat.

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Most of the pink rose is made out of tissue paper. But the little girl is delighted.

6. You will find plenty of chicks fitting in a nest.

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The chicks are made from pom poms. And yes, they’re adorable.

7. Sometimes a hat may require multiple baskets.

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Both these hats contain long poles and hula hoops. They’re also wearing crazy hair with Easter eggs.

8. Seems like these chicks have hatched from the egg carton.

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The eggs are of several different colors. While the chicks are comprised of pom poms.

9. Seems like this dandelion puffed up early.

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Well, she has a bunch of sticks in a helmet. Let’s hope none of the seeds flutter around.

10. Apparently, the bunny just had to dive in.

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Yes, there’s an Easter bonnet for that. And yes, one of the flowers is a pinwheel.

11. Would you like a flower garden on your head?

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Most of the flowers here have rather showy petals. Though they’re not exactly real.

12. Need an Easter bonnet for boys? Tried dinosaurs.

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After all, birds evolved from dinosaurs. They also laid eggs.

13. This Easter bonnet is covered in daisies.

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Well, they seem like a certain kind of daisy. Though they do have a springtime charm.

14. This chick is almost too big for the nest.

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This one has a nest on top with chirping chickies. While the bunnies and chicks on the brim are made out of pom poms.

15. Flowers can make pirate hats extra springy.

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They’re even dressed like pirates to illustrate a point. Then again, they may be celebrating Easter at Renaissance Festival.

16. An Easter bonnet should always have spring flowers.

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Here she wears flowers of all different colors. So pretty.

17. Chicks always love the grass.

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The top is covered with daisies. The brim consists of Easter grass.

18. Even men enjoy wearing flowers once in awhile.

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Here this old man wears a cone hat with flowers. The big yellow one is quite showy.

19. Some men delight in the flowers of spring.

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The flowers here have long stems. But the guy seems happy nonetheless.

20. Chicks always enjoy chirping in the nest.

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The nest is full of Easter grass. While the flowers surrounding it are daffodils.

21. Perhaps you’d like a large hat with big flowers for Easter.

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Well, at least it fits her curls. While the bow on her straw hat is blue.

22. An Easter bonnet should always include some eggs.

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This one has eggs dangling from the brim. Topped with eggs, feathers, flowers, and rabbit ears.

23. Perhaps you’d want to wear a bunny house.

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The bunny house isn’t much. Yet, the hat is mostly surrounded by fencing and Easter eggs. Love the roses.

24. A spring robin rests on an Easter bonnet.

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After all, they say that the robin is a sign of spring. Like the flowers, too.

25. Perhaps a Humpty Dumpty hat will suit your fancy.

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Okay, this one is kind of creepy. Still, what the hell does Humpty Dumpty have to do with Easter?

26. These chicks make ideal nest eggs.

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That’s because the chicks are made from eggs. The other part of the hat contains sheep and bunnies.

27. You’d think she was tiptoeing through the tulips.

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Most of these are yellow, orange, and red. Yet, this woman stands like a rose.

28. A big hat creates a huge impression.

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This one has plenty of feathers. Though she often has to hold the brim.

29. Nobody could resist a feathered chick.

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Has felt beak and feet along with googly eyes. So cute.

30. You can’t get over this sheepy head.

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Reminds me of those sheep from the Wallace and Gromit cartoons. So cute.

31. You’ll keep warm in this crocheted bunny hat.

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Though it’s kind of funny that it’s worn by a grown man. Even includes a nose and whiskers.

32. 2 fancy hats are better than one.

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Each has a pastel garland and dangling Easter eggs. Not to mention, both have bunnies, flowers, and eggs on top.

33. Even a broken egg will do for an Easter bonnet.

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The purple Easter egg is made from papier-mâché. While it sits atop a straw hat.

34. This bike helmet is covered in chicks.

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The chicks are all made out of pom poms. As a green ribbon hands in back.

35. Bright tulle can always look sensational.

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This Easter bonnet contains a necklace and pink flowers. But the tulle colors are so vibrant.

36. Any little girl would love this Frozen Easter bonnet.

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This one even has a castle. Also decked with purple and pink tulips.

37. A pink straw hat should include rabbit ears.

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The ears sure look fuzzy. Has pom pom chicks and bunnies at the brim and top.

38. Paper bowls always make nifty Easter bonnets.

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They even have paper roses. So adorable.

39. Perhaps you might wear an Easter bonnet with a floral bunny.

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The bunny even has eggs dangling from its head. Perfect for any Easter parade.

40. This Easter features a skillet of eggs and bacon.

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This woman’s Easter bonnet is a pan of eggs and bacon. Some people call this breakfast.

41. Nothing makes an Easter parade better than a big old pie.

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This is for an Easter bonnet competition. This woman does Waitress.

42. A straw bonnet can always use a few feathers.

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The pink flowers are along the brim. Also includes eggs and pom pom chicks.

43. These Easter bonnets are all color coded for your convenience.

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Each of these have flowers on top. They also wear matching feather boas for good measure.

44. Put these people together and they’re an amusement park.

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Includes a hot air balloon, carousel, and ferris wheel. And yes, it’s so whimsical.

45. Daisies will always have to go in the back.

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Well, this hat is kind of low key. But the flowers usually go on top.

46. Easter bonnets don’t always have to be for mommies.

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Well, this is a typical Easter bonnet. But this guy’s daughter thinks it’s cute and hilarious.

47. Sometimes a simple Easter bonnet will do.

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Contains eggs and flowers. Still, I love the feathers in the back.

48. A Darth Vader hat can always use some bunny ears.

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The ears have to be red and black. But any little boy would love this Easter top hat.

49. Didn’t know you can wear an Easter basket for an Easter parade.

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It even has chicks inside it. As Elizabeth Taylor wears it quite well.

50. A hot air balloon will make an Easter bonnet soar.

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Wonder if balloon is made out of paper mache or a Chinese lantern. Yet, you’ll find plenty of chicks in the basket.

51. Here the farm animals gather for the big Easter show.

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The animals are toys and are put around in a circle. Whilt the stands are made out of paper.

52. Apparently, the egg has cracked onto the boy’s pan.

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This is another frying pan hat. Yet, this time has a broken eggshell.

53. You’ll find plenty of roses on this geometric hat.

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The roses seem to connect everything. And yet, the cubes seem invisible.

54. An Easter bonnet should be a real showstopper.

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Well, these hats certainly impress. Like the one with the purple flower and the big Easter basket.

55. Wonder what’s inside that large cage.

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Okay, it’s an Easter bonnet with a bird inside. But somehow it has a nest filled with dyed eggs.

56. Is that supposed to be a mushroom cloud?

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Then again, it might just be a cloud. While I’m wondering if that dark figure is Darth Vader. Still, love the flowers.

57. Perhaps you might want to take the minimalistic approach.

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This one is black with sticks everywhere. Kind of like an umbrella without its cover. Not exactly Easter parade material but more of a goth approach.

58. You’d think this guy has a basket of rabbits on his head.

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Well, it kind of is. Also includes strings of Easter eggs.

59. This must be the Chinatown delegation.

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Here we have people in large egg hats over vases of flowers. The eggs are obviously paper mache.

60. The bigger the flower baskets the better.

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These baskets are on their heads as if they’re gardens. Still, they’re sensational.

61. Any man can wear an Easter bonnet with flowers.

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This one has lots of pink flowers and Easter eggs. And yet, it’s meant for a man secure in his masculinity. Seriously, this is what non-toxic masculinity looks like.

62. You’d certainly call these women quite hair-raising.

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These big coiffes are made from pink strips of ribbon. And yes, they include flowers.

63. Every boy wants a Minecraft Easter bonnet.

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Seems quite easy to make, too. Just need blocks of foam.

64. A hen always sits on her nest.

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But that doesn’t stop the little chickies from getting out. By the way, the chicken is made from paper.

65. An Easter bonnet can always use some antlers.

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Each antler is touched with flowers. Perfect for hipsters.

66. He’s got quite distinguished eggs.

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I think they’re supposed to be Shakespearean characters. So the guy must be a theater man.

67. The Easter bonnet must match the outfit.

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Well, he’s just wearing a cowboy hat covered in duct tape. Though I think the bunny is way creepier.

68. A tall hat should always have peeps.

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His hat is covered with peep bunnies. But it stands like a skyscraper.

69. An Easter bonnet must have a finishing touch.

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This one is for some kind of show or venue. Yet, it comes with a tulle veil in the back.

70. The early bird always catches the worm.

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And the bird is taxidermied and put on her hat. Kind of sick if you ask me.

71. A swan hat is always glorious.

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The swan has green butterfly wings behind it. Like the flowers, too.

72. Perhaps you need a bunny in your Easter bonnet.

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This bunny sits on top in a glen of flowers. Too bad this photo is in black and white.

73. A large hat always makes a big statement.

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This one has bunnies and chicks on the brim. Like the flowers and eggs on top.

74. Got to have a butterfly in your bonnet.

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Actually it has a couple. Though I really like the flowers.

75. Nothing says spring like ducks in a pond.

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This one has one big duck on top and a bunch of little ducks on the brim. So cute.

76. Don’t forget to add some Easter eggs.

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This one has Easter eggs on sticks. Also includes smaller eggs, a bunny, and pom pom chicks.

77. A large purple hat will always stun.

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And this guy revels in it. Has feathers along the brim. Love this.

78. Easter bonnets can never have enough flowers.

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One has a tall vase with pink and purple flowers. The other has a large rose and lots of foliage.

79. Seems like this guy’s a real flower man.

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He even has a green beard to match. While the guy next to him is a literal parrothead.

80. Sometimes a couple of peonies is all you need.

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It may not be much. But it works just the same.

 

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The Second Line World of Mardi Gras Parasols

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Before people embark on their 6-week sacrifice of Lent come Ash Wednesday, some areas hold a big party where they can indulge in their own desires. The French and those in New Orleans may call it Mardi Gras. Others like the Venetians call it Carnival. Anyway, while those in Venice often don masks and dress in lavish costumes for masquerade balls, those in New Orleans usually tend to hold costumed parades with jazz music and floats. While the costumes in Venice reflect that of a bygone era, the costumes in New Orleans are incredibly festive that they may include some flamboyant parasols among them. Some can contain flashy sequins. Some might have feathers. While some may consist of fringe. So for your reading pleasure, I give you an assortment of parasols for Mardi Gras. Enjoy.

  1. A gold parasol should always have purple feathers.
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Well, the feathers are fake. But it’s also covered in Mardi Gras beads around the folds.

2. There’s so much music on this parasol.

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Well, the notes, clefs, and guitars are in pink. Trimmed with red fringe. Touched by black bows and red feathers.

3. A purple parasol should have all the trimmings.

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Has Mardi Gras beads and gold fleur de lis on all sides. Love the purple feathers around the rims.

4. This umbrella is trimmed with money.

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Okay, they’re plastic gold coins. Though you see some fringe along this parasol as well.

5. Perhaps a paper parasol may suit you.

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This one has fleur de lis stenciled and painted in gold, purple, and green. So lovely.

6. Golden fringe always goes with black.

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This one has embroidered fleur de lis. Perfect for any Mardi Gras parade or wedding.

7. Sometimes all a Mardi Gras parasol needs is a big festive bow.

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This one is made from a gold bordered see through ribbon. Also includes feathers for a more festive touch.

8. This parasol will bring music to the scene.

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This one uses a guitar handle for the stem. Includes fringe and feathers.

9. Green and purple always make for a great Mardi Gras parasol.

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This one has a purple bow on top with shiny jingles. Covered with crowns and masks.

10. Even Saints fans can use a parasol for Mardi Gras.

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This one has a “Who Dat?” bow on top. Also consists of sequin fleur de lis and golden fringe.

11. A black parasol can always use something extra.

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This large parasol has fringe on the bottom and a bouquet of roses on top. Though they’re mostly in gold.

12. Your parasol can never have enough pink fringe.

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This one has 3 rows of fringe. Like the small mask with feathers.

13. Those at LSU might want a Mardi Gras parasol like this.

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Though college football season takes place in the fall. While Mardi Gras is in February or March.

14. Sometimes feathers are all you need.

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This one is a fancy white parasol. While the feathers are in lavender.

15. Don’t forget to add some treble.

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Well, this one has a golden treble clef. Like the black bow on top and fringe.

16. When in doubt, you might want to go with lace.

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This one uses green and purple lace with purple and yellow ribbons. Love it.

17. You can always use shiny beads to decorate.

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This one consists of a fleur de lis, a purple treble clef, a mask, and music notes. So pretty.

18. Sometimes a simple white parasol is all you need.

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this one has gold tassles on the rim. While a large golden bow sits on top.

19. Perhaps you can use a few fleur de lis.

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This one has 4 shiny gold fleur de lis and a ribbon to divide them. Love the bow though.

20. When it comes with Mardi Gras parasols, the more colorful the better.

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This one has sides in purple, green, and yellow. Includes sequins, music notes, and masks.

21. There’s nothing more festive on a Mardi Gras parasol than masks.

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Well, it has a purple mask. Also consists of pom poms, feathers, crowns, and Mardi Gras beads.

22. A simple white parasol can always use a festive touch.

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This one has a blue bow with some green squiggles. Love the white fringe.

23. Perhaps your parasol can use some glitter.

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Okay, the images are more or less made out of sequins. Consists of masks and fleur de lis. Love the purple feathers.

24. No parasol can have too many ribbons.

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This one has New Orleans Saints ribbons in black and gold. While the fleur de lis is in sequins.

25. A black lace parasol can always use some ornamentation.

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This one has crosses, jewels, and ribbons. Perfect for any Mardi Gras funeral.

26. A silver Mardi Gras parasol should always contain blue feathers.

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Also contains silver Mardi Gras beads. As a silver fleur de lis sits on top.

27. Salute your LSU Tigers with this Mardi Gras parasol.

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Decorated with Tigers insignia encrusted in the fabric. Includes Mardi Gras beads, a gold fleur de lis on top, and purple feathers.

28. You’ll find masks all around this Mardi Gras parasol.

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This one has masks embroidered on some of the sides. Love the purple feathers though.

29. A black shiny parasol should always look festive.

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Has a gold fleur de lis sitting on top. Includes gold Mardi Gras beads and black feathers.

30. A festive Mardi Gras parasol should always shimmer.

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This one has 2 fleur de lis in purple and green. While the feathers are in green, purple, and yellow.

31. A black parasol can always use a feather plume.

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This one has fleur de lis on all sides. Also consists of gold decoration.

32. A white parasol can uses some colorful masks.

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This one has feather masks of many different colors. Has a crown on top.

33. A black parasol is easy to customize.

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Includes masks, crowns, feathers, and Mardi Gras beads. Love the crown on top.

34. Nothing is jazzier on Mardi Gras than a pink parasol.

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This one has a saxophone with pink plumes along with lace and roses at the ends. Pink fringe lies along the edges. Great for any Mardi Gras party.

35. A silver parasol should always sparkle.

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This one has sparkly fleur de lis. Like the jewels and silver bow. So pretty.

36. A purple parasol should have all the trimmings.

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This one his trimmed with lace and fringe. Also contains yellow jewels and ribbons.

37. A large gold bow really stands out on a black parasol.

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This one has fleur de lis painted on the sides. While the edges have feathers. Though I love the bow.

38. Perhaps you’d like a golden parasol with pink feathers.

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This one is spray-painted gold with a golden fleur de lis. Includes pink Mardi Gras beads as well.

39. Of course, no parasol can’t be complete without a peacock.

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Well, the peacock is fake. Yet, the feathers make this parasol sensational.

40. Sometimes two Mardi Gras parasols must match.

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One is green with a purple plume and fringe. The other is purple with a green plume and fringe.

41. A purple parasol for Mardi Gras can be quite fancy.

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This one has shiny jewels and sequin decorations. But the purple plume really stands out here.

42. Perhaps you might prefer a parasol of blue lace.

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This one is said to include LED lights. Bad for a rainy day. Perfect for Mardi Gras.

43. At weddings, you might prefer plain parasols with feathers.

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You see a lot of these parasols when you do a Google search. Still, it’s kind of annoying.

44. Wedding parasols must always match.

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Each of these has gold coins, feathers, and a fleur de lis. Don’t ask since this is a New Orleans tradition.

45. A pink parasol should have all kinds of jewels.

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This one has colorful feathers near the top. Though the jewels make it extra sparkly.

46. A white parasol should always have some decorations.

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Has jewels, fleur de lis, and green, yellow, and purple feathers. Though it can use a fancy ornament on top.

47. Fun party decorations can always belong on a parasol.

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Yes, I know it kind seems more party store style than the others. But it certainly belongs in a Mardi Gras parade.

48. You can never have too many fleur de lis on a parasol.

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And you see them in yellow, green, and purple. The edge is trimmed with lace by the way.

49. A purple parasol can always be a sparkling sight.

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This one has Mardi Gras beads and fleur de lis. The bird’s pretty, too.

50. A circular parasol should always be decked out.

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Covered with jewels, fleur de lis, and feathers. Love it.

51. A red parasol will always stand out from the music.

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This one has a treble clef, crowns, and musical notes. Like the bow on top.

52. A sparkly white parasol must shimmer.

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This one is covered in jewels. Like the feathers and plume.

53. The fancier your Mardi Gras parasol, the better.

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This one has sequins and is covered with green, purple, white, and gold patches. Love the purple feathers.

54. A gold parasol with yellow feathers can be quite festive.

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Includes a shiny fleur de lis on tops. Also comprises of gold Mardi Gras beads, too.

55. When it comes to black parasols, feel free to give it a great impression.

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Has 2 fleur de lis and a festive garland. But I love the bow the best.

56. A white parasol should always have a matching plume and feathers.

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Has some gold sequin fleur de lis and other decorations. Guess this is a companion for a wedding second line.

57. You can’t go wrong on Mardi Gras with a parasol of black.

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This one has coins and fleur de lis all over the sides. Also trimmed with black and gold feathers.

58. A Mardi Gras parasol should be in green, yellow, and purple.

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Contains masks, sequins, and crowns. Trimmed with fringe.

59. A lacy black parasol should have black feathers.

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Also, not a good one for a rainy day. Includes golden crowns and other decorations.

60. A parasol with rainbow feathers always creates a colorful impression.

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Well, it’s black with nothing much on it. Though the feather colors are amazing.

Rockin’ Around the Christmas Tree at the Ugly Sweater Party (Fifth Edition)

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Though I usually put a picture of myself in these ugly Christmas sweater posts, this year I’m opening with a generic picture. Mostly because I don’t have that many ugly sweaters in my closet. Nonetheless, you can see how ugly Christmas sweaters have risen from yuletide embarrassment to holiday party staple. In fact, there’s even a recent trend where companies have made these ugly Christmas sweaters on purpose as you can see above. Hell, we even have ugly Christmas sweater parties. So for your reading pleasure, I give you another treasure trove of ghastly holiday sweaters. Some of these may not be safe for work, by the way.

  1. Fans of Elf would love this Christmas sweater.
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Buddy the Elf said this line. Since he grew up in the North Pole as an elf.

2. A candy cane striped sweater should always have a tinsel wreath.

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Well, it’s green tinsel. Though I have to wonder whether it lights up.

3. Oh, deer.

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Indeed, these are 2 deer humping over the holidays. Wonder how they managed to withhold their sex drives during hunting season.

4. Fans of A Christmas Story will adore this holiday sweater.

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It’s the infamous leg lamp. Indeed, before that film’s release, it was basically something you’d find in a bar. Not anymore.

5. Perhaps you’d like a teddy bear on your Christmas sweater.

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This one has golden tinsel on the sleeves as well as presents and snowflakes. The bear wears a plaid onesie, too.

6. Best to get out the Christmas craft supplies.

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Yes, there’s am ugly Christmas sweater with craft stuff. Makes you wonder how the final product will turn out.

7. Ever heard of a Christmas llama with sunglasses?

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Here it wears a white and green scarf. And is that holly or mistletoe?

8. No Christmas sweater can have too many pointsettias.

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His sweater even depicts a bouquet. And I can’t tell whether he’s proud of it or utterly embarrassed.

9. Oh, no, it’s the Abominable Snowman!

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This guy has a sweater depicting those old Christmas specials from the 1960s. As the Bumble dons a Santa hat.

10. Take Christmas to the next level in an ugly Christmas suit.

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This one has pictures of Christmas icons. Even comes with a matching tie.

11. Christmas is always the season for sloth.

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This hoodie has a sloth on it. Donned in a Santa hat, it has a present for you.

12. You’ll run a gamut of emojis during the Christmas season.

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This one has faces in Santa hats with a variety of expressions. Some even have their tongues sticking out.

13. Nothing makes Christmas like a T-Rex.

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Though the dinosaurs died out long before Jesus was born. Includes rows of lights, candy canes, trees, and snowflakes.

14. On Christmas, Jesus is always the life of the party.

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Since Jesus is the birthday boy. Also, he wears a party hat, too.

15. Would you like a shot or a beer with Santa?

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Looks like Santa Claus may have a drinking problem. Hope he doesn’t get busted for flying his sleigh under the influence.

16. “Grandma got run over by a reindeer…”

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But this time the reindeer’s driving a car with a Christmas tree on top. Still, that’s pretty brutal.

17. Ever seen a mermaid Santa before?

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Yet, Santa seems to wear a seashell bra on his man boobs. Not that there’s anything wrong with that, it’s pretty unsettling.

18. Feel free to wear what you want on your Christmas dress.

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Her dress is even trimmed iwth white boa feathers. While she even wears an animal print Santa hat.

19. Oh, look a talking Christmas tree.

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Says, “I don’t want your balls on me!!” I’m sure anyone over a certain age will get this one.

20. Santa always loves to show off his stuff.

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Apparently, the North Pole has fallen on tough times lately that Santa had to get a second gig. But at least he’s fully clothed.

21. Santa has a big package for you.

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If it’s Santa’s junk, then I don’t want it. Besides, doesn’t he have a Mrs. Claus to come home to?

22. This year, Christmas is out of this world.

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Since this Christmas sweater depicts an alien in a Santa hat. Makes me wonder how aliens could celebrate Christmas though.

23. Make this Christmas a Hamilton Christmas.

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I’m sure they made this because of the musical. Because Hamilton doesn’t have much to do with Christmas besides being on the $10 bill.

24. Never thought I’d see a Christmas squatch in a bikini.

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Then again, I’m sure that female sasquatches are possible. That is if sasquatches really exist.

25. Nothing makes the holidays like a sweater with dinosaurs.

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The dinosaurs are green wearing Santa hats. Some on their tails.

26. When it comes to Christmas trees, some wear it for the party.

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This woman wears a Christmas tree sweater with lights. While her Christmas tree hat is made of tinsel.

27. A Christmas sweater can never have too many trimmings.

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This one has golden tinsel and fake holly and poinsettias. Perfect for any tacky sweater party.

28. A Christmas cat always goes for the mice.

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Here the cat hangs on a tinsel wreath. While catnip hangs overhead.

29. Perhaps you might prefer a skirt of bows.

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This one is covered in gift bows. While the upper hem is edged with golden tinsel.

30. Want a game of Christmas pong?

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Well, it’s like beer pong. Except all the cups are on the guy’s Christmas sweater.

31. Nobody can wait to meet Santa.

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This one has Santa visiting the kids. And they’re all crying for presents.

32. You can always be a hit at Christmas with a hunting vest.

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This one has a large jingle bell and Rudolph in a stocking. While the vest is edged with garland.

33. Apparently, the Grinch can be quite handsy.

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Well, the hands are made from fuzzy feathers. So is the trim as you can see.

34. A Christmas tree always needs a star.

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Since she’s wearing a Christmas tree dress. While her star is in a headband.

35. Move over, Jon Snow, for Santa Claus is King of the North.

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Here he sits on his candy cane throne. Yet, the Whitewalkers have nothing on him.

36. Can Santa pass the eggnog to Jesus?

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But Santa is a selfish asshole. So Jesus isn’t exactly pleased for making a sign for Peace on Earth.

37. “Don’t eat me!”

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But Santa doesn’t really seem to care. While his friends abandon him.

38. Didn’t know you could wear a gingerbread house.

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Well, she’s wearing a gingerbread house dress. While the sides reveal a brick wall.

39. A Santa dress doesn’t always need sleeves.

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Here she wears gold bows and a belt. Though she wouldn’t last in the winter cold if she didn’t wear a coat.

40. Santa comes through the mountains on his light-up T-Rex.

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I know this is crazy. But if you like Christmas and Jurassic Park, this sweater is for you.

41. Bet you didn’t hear about the Christmas walrus.

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Well, walruses do live near the North pole. Though this one has a Santa hat and looks quite confused.

42. Talk about taking “ho, ho, ho” to a whole new level.

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Mainly since this sweater depicts a stripper. Not necessarily one you’d want to wear around your folks.

43. Merry Christmas from the laser breathing T-Rex.

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For the T-Rex should get all the presents. I know this one is pretty crazy in any case.

44. Nobody can resist a Christmas suit with puppies.

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This one has puppies in each red and green square. So he’ll get plenty of chicks at the party. Or so he thinks.

45. A poinsettia suit will really stand out.

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Here he holds a hobby horse for good measure. Though I think the suit makes him too bright for Hawaii.

46. She thinks she’s Santa’s favorite Ho.

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I don’t think that’s a good thing to be. Then again, it’s not meant to be serious.

47. A Christmas suit should always have ornaments and lights.

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After all, this is a Christmas tree camo suit. Though I’m not sure if he blends in.

48. A gingerbread man is ready to be baked.

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Yet, this is a Christmas sweater for potheads. Just look at the pot leaves to see.

49. Don’t forget to sleep in these yuletide boxers.

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This one has a tie somehow. While Santas are on the side. Not sure what to think of this.

50. Frosty the Snowman smokes a gangsta pipe.

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I think that’s supposed to be Snoop Dogg wearing this. Also, Frosty’s wearing a gold chain.

51. Zombies are no match for Santa Claus.

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Here you see Santa with an assault weapon in the woods. And yes, he’s a zombie sleighter. Get it?

52. Even reindeer can drink too much at a party.

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Apparently, this reindeer’s going to hurl. Didn’t know they party hard like that at the North Pole.

53. Now you can ride on Santa’s sleigh.

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This one has a reindeer body that you put your head in the hoody. Wonder if it has antlers on the hood.

54. Nothing makes Christmas like a cat on a slice of pizza.

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The pizza slices even travel through space. While one is decorated with ornaments.

55. A reindeer head should always have a wreath.

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This guy seems quite proud of himself. Includes baubles on the wreath. While the reindeer is plush.

56. “You’ll shoot your eye out, kid.”

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This is from A Christmas Story since Ralphie wants a BB gun. More of a jersey, but it counts.

57. Hope you have a merry Griswold Christmas.

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On the other hand, you might want to stay the hell away from the Griswolds during the holidays. Seriously, look what happened to their neighbors.

58. “I’m dreaming of a White Christmas…”

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Well, Betty White Christmas anyway. Other than one with snow, it’s the best kind of Christmas.

59. Even Santa Claus needs to take an occasional pit stop.

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Here Santa goes to the bathroom on the chimney. Either the kids have really been bad or the parent works for the Trump administration.

60. Megan Trainor always looks forward to your presents.

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Since there are presents on her Christmas dress. While her skirt is covered in holly and ornaments.

SantaCon Costumes Are Coming to Town (Fourth Edition)

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One controversial aspect of the Christmas season in the United States is SantaCon. In mid-December, revelers don yuletide costumes and gather in many cities in an annual pub crawl. The New York SantaCon has been termed, “a drunken shitshow” by Gothamist as well as received complaints by residents along with reports of public vomiting and urination. And it goes without saying that seeing a drunken Santa peeing on the street, puking in a nearby trash can, or doing a bunch of R-rated mischief to get in police custody might traumatize a young child for life. Nonetheless, we should concede that despite the havoc SantaCon may wreak in communities, there could be worse things. Just look at what happened in Charlottesville, Virginia back in August 2017. I mean while SantaCon participants might litter, vandalize, puke, and do what have you, they just want to party and have fun. Though their way of enjoyment may not be remarkably healthy, decent, or safe. While the Unite the Right guys in Charlottesville were white supremacists who inflicted violence against counter-protestors. Still, I mainly do SantaCon posts as a way to make fun of the costumes. Not as a way to endorse the event. Anyway, for your reading pleasure, I give you another treasury of SantaCon costumes.

  1. Behold, all hail the mighty Viking Claus.
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He has horns on his Santa hat. Though I’m not sure if that’s a proper Viking drink.

2. Two Santas are always better than one.

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Though one Santa wears shorts. While the other wears a skirt of tulle.

3. When you need to go on a holiday pub craw at 3 and a 49ers game at 5.

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He has a 49ers style Santa suit on. But either way, he’ll come home wasted.

4. This Santa seems a bit horse.

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Since he has a horse mask on. While he’s wearing a mere Santa shirt.

5. One of Santa’s elves has left the building.

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Though she could easily be working for a mall Santa nearby. Yet, she wears a red dress over her green tights.

6. You can’t go wrong with a corset.

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She wears a sexy Santa dress with her Santa hat. While her boots are super fuzzy.

7. She seems quite frosty today.

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Yes, this is a sexy snowman outfit. I know it’s not appropriate for snow weather in any respect. Like the fuzzy boots though.

8. Perhaps you might prefer striped tights.

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This woman wears a more modest Santa dress. Her boots are trimmed with fur and red bows.

9. You better watch out because Santa Pimp is coming to town.

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He wears a long red coat with red pants and a red hat. Oh, and he has a chain around his neck. But he’s not a nice guy since he has women debase themselves for money.

10. Have you ever met the dreaded Santabot?

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He’s a robot Santa. So his suit is part of his build. But don’t push his buttons.

11. Mrs. Claus always needs a long, sleek dress.

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She wears a white fake fur cape over her strapless dress. Also includes Santa hat.

12. Who says Santa suits can’t be sexy?

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Not sure if that’s right. Though I know it’s supposed to be a dress. But Santa isn’t meant to be sexy, at least in the conventional sense.

13. These women always know how to be in the present.

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Actually, they’re dressed as presents. While 2 of them think they’re God’s gift to men.

14. Sometimes it’s best to go all out on red and furs.

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Indeed, this is another Santa dress. But this one comes with transparent red tights and a matching frock cape.

15. You can’t have SantaCon without the Grinch and Cindy Lou Who.

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The Grinch is in his Santa suit. While Cindy Lou Who is in her trademark hair as well as dons a black dress with fur trim.

16. Even Santa occasionally prefers his comfy clothes.

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He just wears a red robe. His beard is cotton. But he’s wearing crazy glasses for some reason.

17. You can’t go wrong with a square Santa hat.

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He even wears a chain necklace saying “Ho Ho Ho.” While his hair is untidy and black.

18. A flashy Christmas tree dress will make the season bright.

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She has a top of sequins and tinsel. While her skirt has plenty of bows. As her hat is a star topper.

19. It always pays to look one’s best for SantaCon.

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Though one of them sports a rather revealing fishnet top. Not sure how that’s going to keep her warm on a cold day.

20. I suppose an elf can arrive in a poncho.

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Well, it’s more of a dress. But based on the sleeve cut, it might as well be a poncho.

21. Perhaps one might prefer a green dress of fur.

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She’s supposed to be the female version of The Ghost of Christmas Present. Though she doesn’t have a beard, obviously.

22. Mrs. Claus always has to have a fancy dress.

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Here she wears a lovely dress with green and gold decoration. Though she looks a bit young to be elderly.

23. It doesn’t take much to be merry.

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Though this seems more appropriate for a Christmas party at a strip club. Seriously, that leotard doesn’t look practical in any respect.

24. A Santa dress can always have tulle trim.

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Here these women wear belts and Santa hats. Though you can tell that their outfits are DIY.

25. I suppose she’s from the kitchen.

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Well, she wears an apron with holly on it. While her collar has a green bow.

26. Santa doesn’t always have to wear a traditional hat.

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This is a candy cane jester hat. As this Santa holds a megaphone with red snowflakes inside.

27. This lamp seems to be throwing some shade.

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Well, she’s supposed to be the leg lamp from A Christmas story. But you wouldn’t know from the coat.

28. Perhaps you might want to be sweet in this candy cane dress.

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Her dress is mostly red with a red and white striped skirt. Helps that she has green hair.

29. This Christmas season, beware of the Krampus.

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Unlike Santa, he’s known to kidnap and punish the bad boys and girls. So it’s best to keep away from him.

30. Don’t like red? Go green instead.

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She wears a green Santa dress with matching gloves. Though she might feel cold on her shoulders as well as between her skirt and stockings.

31. A Snowflake Princess is a certified winter darling.

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Though her skirt’s quite short. While she dons a snowflake crown.

32. Any girl at SantaCon would love to don this reindeer dress.

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Her dress is mostly brown. Yet, it includes antlers and fuzzy leggings.

33. Say hello to Frosty the Snowman.

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Actually, it’s a guy dressed as Frosty the Snowman. And no, he can’t melt at room temperature.

34. When Jack Frost comes to town, things get cold.

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After all, he’s a spirit known to make things freeze in the winter snow. Best you be careful when he’s around.

35. Anyone would love a girl dressed as a candy cane.

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Her outfit mostly consists of red and white stripes like a candy cane. While she wears leggings of white fake fur.

36. Some may want a Christmas get up with animal prints.

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Even has a matching Santa hat. Still, I find animal prints as unspeakably tacky.

37. Seems like Santa’s got a present.

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This Santa wears a regular red suit and fedora. While the woman next to him is a present.

38. The Virgin Mary seems rather predisposed to reindeer.

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Don’t worry, the baby Jesus is a doll. Yet, Mary sure has a fine golden halo.

39. Santas come in all shapes and sizes.

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One even has mecha gear. While another wears a helmet.

40. Indeed, fishnets might match red velvet and white fur.

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Here she is on snowy ground. Wonder why her legs don’t shiver.

41. A Santa can’t go out without a fur coat.

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These Santas wear sunglasses and bauble necklaces. Yet, they sport very different hairstyles.

42. Sometimes Santa has to wear a gas mask.

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Wonder where he’s at that he’d need one. Also, the fur fringe looks quite gray.

43. When in doubt, go with capes.

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All the capes have a wintry design. While they wear a variety of red pants.

44. SantaCon is a bit different in Hawaii.

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These people want “Universal Elfcare 4 All.” Wonder what the North Pole workplace environment is like.

45. Santa always sees you when you’re sleeping.

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He even has his own scepter. But you better be good for goodness sake.

46. Feel free to come to SantaCon in your pajamas.

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Though one dresses as a polar bear. While 2 wear Christmas suits.

47. You’d think their dresses were quite gingerly.

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Well, they’re in gingerbread dresses. But unlike gingerbread men, they wear bows.

48. Seems like these people are for the ginger cause.

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Actually you don’t need gingers to make gingerbread. Still, like the guy’s Santa suit and lights.

49. Santa and his elves mean business.

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Santa wears a collar shirt and a red sweater. While his elves don business suits.

50. Say hello to Santa’s decontamination squad.

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Since they’ve got gasmasks, goggles, and hazmat suits alongside their Christmas gear. Hell, they’re even wearing garlands of tinsel.

51. On Christmas, you have to take the green with the red.

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She wears an elf jacket over her red dress. While she has long candy cane stockings on her legs.

52. Even Santa can use a seaside vacation now and then.

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He’s donned in a Christmas themed Hawaiian shirt. Though I’m not sure what he’s looking for.

53. Candy canes should always go with Christmas trees.

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The woman wears a candy cane dress. While the guy wears Christmas tree regalia.

54. Mrs. Claus has to make a formal impression.

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Yet, this seems more like White Christmas than SantaCon. Still, it’s quite a lovely dress.

55. Never fear, Super Rudolph is here.

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So when did Rudolph get a six-pack and a spandex speedo? Seriously, this is a dumb costume on so many levels.

56. Buddy always enjoys working on his snowflakes.

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Okay, Buddy’s not really an elf. But man, his snowflakes are amazing.

57. Seems like someone has come with a Christmas tree.

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Well, it’s someone dressed up as a Christmas tree. But you wouldn’t know that unless you look at the legs.

58. This elf woman knows how to make the toys.

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She even uses power tools. Makes you wonder what kind of toys she makes.

59. Presenting…Santa Squid.

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Yes, it’s Santa in a red squid outfit. Not sure how he manages to pull that off.

60. Santa hangs out with a few of his reindeer.

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Then again, female reindeer do have antlers during the Christmas season. But these women just wear antlers and shades of beige.

61. A Christmas tree can always use some tinsel.

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Well, she has her tree décor over her green dress. As her star is made from tinsel.

62. There’s not much to this snowman dress.

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By the way, that’s Katy Perry before she got her blond pixie cut. And yes, she’s wearing stick gloves.

63. Sometimes in Santa costumes, less is more.

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She has herself laced in this dress. But it’s barely a dress.

64. Of course, the North Pole has to have a strip club.

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I don’t know if the North Pole does. But this woman certainly dresses like a stripper near Santa’s workshop.

65. These toy soldiers seem dead inside.

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Hell, the nutcracker doesn’t even look that creepy. Seriously, these women freak me out.

66. She’s bound to cause a lot of uproar in her SantaCon costume.

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Because she’s a red cup from Starbucks. So she’s known to get a lot of furor from the folks at Fox News.

67. I’m sure this dress will bring in the holidays.

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Yes, I know she’s in a scantily clad outfit. But she wears a bow and fishnet stockings.

68. Santa doesn’t seem to like what he sees at the pool.

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Apparently, Santa wears an old-timey swimsuit. And he’s just saw some guy in a speedo.

69. Santa seems to have beer goggles.

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He’s supposed to be a drunk Santa. But he looks too much like a hunk.

70. SantaCon is coming to a galaxy near you.

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I mean these guys have Imperial Stormtrooper helmets on. Don’t worry, they can’t shoot straight, anyway.

71. Some are excited for presents. Some are presents.

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Some of them are in wrapped gift boxes. Hope they can sit down once in awhile.

72. Gingerbread people always stick together.

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There we have a gingerbread man and his lady inside a joint. And yes, they’re adorable.

73. Seems like we got a couple of ornaments.

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Well, they’re wearing shiny ornament costumes. Though they look kind of deflated.

74. It’s Santa’s pit crew to the rescue.

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You can tell since they’re elves with flight goggles. Yes, that’s a female Santa.

75. You can always inflate yourself to play Santa.

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Well, he’s wearing an inflatable Santa suit. Not sure how he’ll get out of it.

76. This Santa Claus is mostly nice.

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But even he can be a bit naughty. Yet, he’s also covered in money. So he’s kind of a con man.

77. Guess it’s Darth Vader’s turn to play Santa at the Galactic Empire’s Christmas party.

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He may know who’s naughty or nice. But this Santa is squarely on the Dark Side.

78. Introducing….Camo Santa.

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Yet, I don’t think bright red makes great camouflage. Still, it’s pretty funny.

79. When it comes to reindeer costumes, it’s best to keep it simple.

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They’re dressed in black with tulle skirt. But don’t forget the antlers.

80. Is that Mrs. Claus?

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Actually that’s a guy, which you can tell by his beard. But at least he’s wearing an ugly sweater and a Santa dress.

Scary and Eerily Adorable DIY Halloween Costume Inspirations (Fourth Edition)

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Here I am dressed as a magician for a Halloween party. Got most of the stuff from a resale store. Hat includes a bunny, scarves, and wand.

While you may have an assortment of costumes at any Halloween or holiday store, a lot of them don’t seem to offer viable choices. Many may have sexy costumes for women which may not be suitable for a wholesome audience. And there are even sexy costumes for things that shouldn’t be. Yet, for added creativity, many would prefer to make their own. After all, you’ll see plenty of inspirations from craft stores and resale shops when I’ve looked for some ideas on Pinterest to show to you. Some may consist of scary monsters you’re used to seeing on Halloween. Some may be of pop culture characters or mundane things. While some might be made around an original concept entirely. So for your reading pleasure, I give you another assortment of unique DIY costumes for Halloween inspiration.

  1. Uh, I think you should look in a back mirror.
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Her dog is situated in her butt cheeks. Wonder how she’ll exclaim that.

2. “Come and play with us, Danny.”

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They’re supposed to be the Grady twins from The Shining. Don’t want to run into them in a hallway.

3. Someone must’ve made a mess in the kitchen.

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This boy is clad in a picnic table cloth draped on him. And he’s got a pot on his head while holding a dish of spaghetti and meatballs.

4. Don’t you dare cross this tiki warrior.

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However, remember that tiki figures are Polynesian gods. But you often see them at tiki restaurants.

5. Would you like a little ear of corn?

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Well, this doesn’t seem hard to make. Just a thick vest and egg carton. So cute.

6. Paul Bunyan always sticks by his blue ox Babe.

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Makes a great couples costume idea. He gets to dress like a giant lumberjack. She gets to wear a blue outfit with horns.

7. Don’t you just love these graceful jellyfish?

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They attached jellyfish tentacles to their transparent umbrellas. But remember you don’t want to be stung by them.

8. Behold, the ever chilling ice queen.

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If Queen Elsa was in a horror movie, she’d look like this. Chilling, isn’t she?

9. You wouldn’t want this wolf to blow your house down.

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They’re supposed to be the 3 little pigs and the Big Bad Wolf. Perfect for families.

10. If you can’t afford to be Batman, be Low Budget Man.

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And his low budget shows with a trash bag cape and masking tape. Yet, don’t expect him to be badass like Batman since he can’t afford those expensive gadgets.

11. Apparently, aliens have come to earth.

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Okay, he only seems like he’s being abducted by aliens. Yet, it’s just a Halloween costume.

12. These children are all prepared to leave the shire.

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Seems like someone really likes Tolkein. Includes Gandalf, Bilbo, Legolas, and Gimli.

13. Lisa Frank always inspires rainbow fun.

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If you were a girl in the 1990s, you had to have some Lisa Frank stuff. And yes, you can use plenty of rainbow combinations.

14. You’ll always bring the funky music with a disco ball.

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Wonder how you can put so many mirrors on this one. Like the matching hair though.

15. Halloween is always a time of good, clean fun.

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Consists of a guy in a robe, woman in bath tub, and baby loofah. Also, the dog is a rubber duckie.

16. All bow down to the Pumpkin king and queen.

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Each one has a jack-o’-lantern head and crown. I’m sure you can get all the stuff at any Halloween store.

17. A house always needs a garden.

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She has a house on her head and flowers in a watering can. Hope you can smell the flowers.

18. On Halloween, it’s countdown to blast off.

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The kid’s dressed up as a USA rocket ship. So it’s one small step for trick or treating.

19. Just need to make a few stops.

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This kid is a garbage man. While his wagon is a garbage truck.

20. Care for a sweet, frozen treat?

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Ice cream costume mostly consist of 2 large pieces of cardboard. While the pom poms are sprinkles.

21. She’s bursting with tentacles.

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Since she’s supposed to be an octopus. Even has tentacles on her arms and legs.

22. It’s not Halloween without a scary story from this man.

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He’s dressed as Edgar Allan Poe. Even has his own raven.

23. Want a bit of sauce on your little taco?

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The mom is dressed as a sauce while the baby is a taco. Not sure if the baby is liking it right now.

24. Nobody could resist some sugary cotton candy.

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Well, she seems so sweet. Guess someone put a bag on her with pink cotton balls.

25. Now this is a real family circus.

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This is a family dressed up as circus performers. And please, don’t feed the little lion in the wagon.

26. This space family is out of this world.

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Dad is the solar system while the mom is the rocket. And the baby is a little astronaut.

27. Watch out for the grammar police!

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She’ll put you in for a long sentence including 10 years of punctuation with plenty of verb conjugating visits. So know your nouns, adjectives, verbs, adverbs, participles, conjunctions, and interjections.

28. You wouldn’t want to be underwater in a shark tank.

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Don’t worry, he’s fine since it’s his Halloween costume. Though it would’ve been great for Shark Week.

29. These three are just a group of tourists.

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They could just also be people at a Jimmy Buffet concert. Yet, you’re guessing they’ll probably be in Hawaii or the Caribbean.

30. There’s nothing special about these 2. They’re just a couple of guys from Scranton.

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Indeed, they’re Dwight and Jim from The Office. Though identity theft isn’t a joke.

31. Anyone would love this little pineapple.

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She wears a yellow dress with a pineapple top on it. Not to mention, she wears sunglasses since pineapples grow in warm climates.

32. “I’m afraid of no ghost.”

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This guy’s dressed as the Ghostbusters logo. Wonder how he got the plush “No” sign.

33. You won’t be scared of this little spider.

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This is a spider and web costume. Web mostly consists of a skirt. While spider costume includes legs.

34. You’ll be ready for school with these 3.

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Mom’s a pencil. Dad’s note paper. While the baby is an eraser. So cute.

35. You’ll crave for these animal crackers.

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These are the ones with icing and sprinkles. Come in pink and white.

36. Nothing cools you off like this little snow cone.

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Well, the baby is in a little triangular bundle. And wears a tiny rainbow wig. So cute.

37. Guess we’ll have to send him to the morgue.

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He’s all zipped up in a body bag. Can’t really determine the cause of death at this time.

38. There are some people who’d adore a unicorn.

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She has purple hair and a pink tail to match. Hope she gets points at the costume contest.

39. She needs some milk with her Froot Loops.

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She’s basically a bowl of cereal. Yet, still carries the spoon in Twister.

40. This little Energizer Bunny keeps going and going….

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Just slap a drum to a pink bunny costume and you’ve got it made. Still, this little one is so cute.

41. This boy better not get stuck without a paddle.

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For he’s supposed to be a little boat. Though he’s wearing swim goggles.

42. “It’s rainin’ men!”

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You can just put pictures of screen hotties from an umbrella. And you’re good to go.

43. “I’m just a bill, yes, I’m only a bill. And I’m sittin’ here on Capitol Hill.”

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He’s the famous Schoolhouse Rock character who teaches you about the American legislative process. Also figures prominently in a lot of political satire.

44. She’s ready for takeoff.

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Here’s a little aviator on her pink plane. She can’t fly it, but she’s adorable nonetheless.

45. You’d think this boy is fresh out of the oven.

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Since he’s a pizza. And it’s topped with pepperoni, mushrooms, onions, olives, peppers, and basil leaves.

46. Make Halloween costumes worthy to phone home about.

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They’re supposed to be the kids from E. T. While the boy has the alien in front of him.

47. Real men eat spinach.

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They’re Popeye and Olive Oyl. And he’s got 2 anchors on his arm.

48. This seahorse is out of his water.

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His costume seems quite elaborate. Wonder how much time and effort he put into that.

49. Look out! There’s a tornado full of sharks!

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This boy’s a sharknado. From a franchise known for being so terrible it’s funny.

50. Children always look forward to a visit from the tooth fairy.

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The tooth guy even has a crown. While the tooth fairy has her wings and tutu.

51. These 2 pilots always make it through the day.

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These babies sit in a little fighter plane wagon. Love their sunglasses. So cute.

52. Hope you’re willing to play with these pieces on the board.

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They’re chess pieces. One kid is a black king. The other is a white rook.

53. Would you want to be served by this German barmaid?

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She’s not exactly a St. Paul girl. But she’ll do fine for Ocktoberfest.

54. Seems like these foxes are quite fierce.

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They’re straight from Fantastic Mr. Fox. Since they’re wearing the clothes from the Wes Anderson movie.

55. You’ll find a cat under these wraps.

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This cat mummy costume seems easy enough. Ironically enough, they found a lot of real cat mummies in ancient Egyptian tombs.

56. This guy has decided to take the Ice Bucket Challenge.

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Since people did it to raise money for ALS for some reason. Yeah, I don’t see the point.

57. Ever heard of Pink Freud?

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He’s basically the famed psychoanalyst Dr. Sigmund Freud wearing a hot pink suit. Yet, it’s mainly a play on Pink Floyd.

58. A future family always stays together in the galaxy.

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This one has the parents dress in silver. While the kids wear space suits and hold ray guns.

59. You’d think he had the “wurst” costume ever.

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He’s in lederhosen. Not sure if Germans even wear that except during Ocktoberfest.

60. So you think your baby is an Einstein?

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This seems quite easy. Just use cotton for the wig and mustache. While the shirt can say E=Mc squared.

61. On an epic adventure, Captain Steve Zissou goes in search of the ferocious Jaguar Shark.

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Just requires a red beanie and blue polo shirt. From The Life Aquatic.

62. She’s got her arms full of groceries.

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She’s basically a crate from the local grocery store. And she’s even got a receipt.

63. You’d almost think she was full of hot air.

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Yet, she’s got a lot of balloons above her since she’s a hot air balloon. So adorable.

64. Country singer Willie Nelson has gone on the road again.

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Actually, that’s woman dressed up as Willie Nelson. But she definitely nailed it.

65. Apparently, this boy is at the spin cycle.

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He’s a Whirlpool washing machine. Wait, I have a laundry basket just like that one.

66. With 4 kids, they can be a barbershop quartet.

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These kids are all dressed in striped vest, straw hats, and mustaches. So does this mean the baby is the baritone?

67. Oh, no, these kids have been kidnapped by aliens!

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Don’t worry, they’re just Halloween costumes. The aliens are plush. Still, kind of hilarious.

68. When will she get out of the shower?

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Actually, the shower is her costume. Even has a rubber duckie shower curtain.

69. “ABC it’s easy as 123. So simple as Do-Re-Mi.”

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They’re dressed up as the Jackson 5. Unfortunately, the youngest boy Michael will end up incredibly successful but very messed up.

70. “For my next trick, I’ll saw a woman in half.”

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Seems like she’s not at all thrilled with that. Yet, it’s just a magic trick.

71. Carrie White is the ultimate prom queen.

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Okay, she got pig’s blood dumped on her before she went all out on everyone. Still, this is spot on.

72. Want some milk with your cookie?

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The mom is milk while the baby is the cookie. So adorable and sweet.

73. This kid is about the bulldoze the neighborhood.

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Well, the kid is in a wheelchair. But his chair is equipped for construction.

74. A lawn flamingo always goes well with a little cactus.

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The flamingo costume seems kind of easy enough. Yet, the little cactus is so adorable.

75. Perhaps you can use a knight in shining armor.

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Sure the suit is made out of cardboard. While his sword and shield is made of wood.

76. He just stands there like a houseplant.

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Since he’s in his houseplant costume. So don’t forget to water him.

77. These women are all covered in tape.

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Well, they’re all dressed in caution tape. So they’re reserved for a crime scene investigation.

78. Who could ever resist this little rag doll?

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She’s supposed to be Raggedy Ann. And yes, her red wig is made out of yarn. So cute.

79. So do I get to walk or not?

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They’re Halloween costumes. One can walk while the other has to stop.

80. Want to order some takeout?

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I’m not sure if going as the takeout box is cultural appropriation. But I think it’s quite clever.

81. “Oppa Gangnam Style!”

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She’s Psi from that South Korean music video that went viral. And she wears the suit to match.

82. Someone’s popped up with butter.

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This is a toaster. Well, the wagon is a toaster. While the kid is toast.

83. A STEM professional can’t do math without her.

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Since she’s dressed as a graphing calculator. A must have for scientists and engineers.

84. Bow down to the young royals.

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I think they’re supposed to be Will and Kate at the royal wedding. And yes, I’m aware the hair color doesn’t match.

85. These little girls are straight from the 1950s.

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Since they’re wearing poodle skirts. Love their matching glasses. So adorable.

86. “Smokey, this is not ‘Nam. This is bowling. There are rules.”

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Yes, he’s Walter from The Big Lebowski. And he’s got Donny in that Folgers coffee can. He also takes bowling very seriously.

87. Hey, Trump, a Mexican wants his ball back!

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Well, that’s a great rendition of Trump’s stupid border wall. Let’s just hope it’s stays a Halloween costume.

88. Would you want a bite from this Subway sandwich?

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Yes, this is a baby dressed as a Subway sandwich. Even has a hat with lettuce and tomato slices.

89. Hope you don’t touch this prickly porcupine.

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This is a baby dressed as a porcupine. Don’t worry, the quills are made out of construction paper.

90. Rain or shine, you’ll have a fun time.

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Dad is rain. Mom is sun. While the kid is a cloud in a rainbow wagon.

91. These 4 are ready for any project.

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They’re dressed as construction workers. Just need a hard hat and bright orange vests.

92. Even a baby dragon can spout a breath of fire.

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The fire is attached at the baby’s binkie. So adorable.

93. Always beware the bone collector.

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Well, she’s dressed as a witch. Yet, she carries an animal skeleton with her.

94. Nobody can resist a baby Prince.

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Everywhere he goes, it’s “Purple Rain.” He’s even got the mustache down.

95. These babies have come straight from the cabbage patch.

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They’re wearing crocheted wigs with yarn hair. Yet, they’re quite adorable nonetheless.

96. You’ll be mad not to ignore these party animals.

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These seem like rather simple costumes. Just get a nice outfit with animal ears or antlers along with a party hat.

97. She shines like a shooting star.

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She has ribbons attached to her sleeves. While she wears a star hat.

98. Got Twinkies?

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These are twins in a pack. And yes, they’re cuter than the ones from Hostess.

99. She’ll always direct the flow of traffic.

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After all, she’s dressed as a little traffic light. So will she let us stop or go?

100.  “We are the 3 Amigos and Amigos we always will be.”

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Yes, these boys are dressed like the 3 Amigos. Even the baby. And yes, their outfits are so well done.

The Dark Scary World of Vintage Halloween Costumes (Fourth Edition)

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I don’t know the reason why that is. But when I look at some old Halloween pictures, it seems that the costumes were incredibly terrifying. And I am never sure why. Could it be the black and white photography? Then again, I find some color phots with terrifying costumes. Could it be the costumes designs? Maybe. Nonetheless, while some of these scary costumes consist of spooky figures, a lot of them aren’t meant to be scary. For instance, For instance, I could find plenty of Disney costumes that would absolutely haunt my dreams. And I don’t think Walt Disney’s intended to traumatize children when he created Mickey Mouse. While some are just downright offensive racial caricatures. Nonetheless, my vintage Halloween costume posts over the years have been quite popular. So for your reading pleasure, I give you another treasure trove of downright spooky Halloween costumes from yesterday.

  1. She comes out in the cover of night.
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Yet, the girl’s expression on her face suggests she’s got sinister motives. Best stay away from her.

2. They’re just 3 friends hanging out.

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By the way, they’re all women dressed as men. Even the one with the beard in the middle if you look closely enough.

3. Shut your doors when these kids go trick-or-treating.

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Indeed, they all seem quite scary in their costumes. But the clown freaks me out the most.

4. Sometimes a simple cat mask will do.

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If you look closer, you can see how unsettling her costume is. Seriously, the cat seems so devious.

5. You never know who’s hiding among the corn stalks.

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Gives a whole new meaning to Children of the Corn. Though you wouldn’t want to run into this person either.

6. If you’re looking for a witches’ coven, you’ve come to the right place.

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One of them even has a ghost costume over her head. Still, wouldn’t want to run into these ladies.

7. You might want to avoid seeing a clown alone in a corner.

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This kid would give Pennywise the Clown from IT a run for his money. Kill it, kill it with fire.

8. You’ll never know who’ll show up at your doorstep for trick-or-treat.

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Shortly after this picture was taken, Mrs. McGillicuddy was never seen or heard from again. Nobody knows why.

9. Now what is that ungodly creature?

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I think this is supposed to be a dog or something. But seems more of a hell hound or monster to me.

10. They’re just taking an afternoon stroll. No need to worry anyone.

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Is that a black mask? Looks kind of racist. Nonetheless these two will certainly haunt your dreams.

11. “Want to sit with us?”

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No thanks, because I want to get home in one piece. Nothing personal.

12. A monster should always have a devil by his side.

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Both seem to wear masks with glitter on it. Kind of makes them more terrifying.

13. “Gather round, it’s time to feed.”

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I know the kids are wearing mask. But even the kid in the skull mask seems scared while the beard mask kid stands.

14. You’d think these folks have come from out of this world.

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That or it’s footage from one of Lady Gaga’s music videos. Let’s just say old sci-fi costumes are utterly insane.

15. Perhaps you might want to attend a costume party.

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Yet, even without masks, they manage to be quite scary. Just blank eyes staring at the camera.

16. “What is this pumpkin I’m holding?”

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That mask gives me the creeps. Is that supposed to be a devil? Or some other monster?

17. “EEK! The pumpkin man!”

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Apparently, the 1925 production of The Nightmare Before Christmas was not a success. Guess audiences weren’t ready for it.

18. Hope you don’t experience any rabbit infestation.

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Because these bunnies will haunt your nightmares. So keep your veggies away from their buck teeth.

19. A lone witch doesn’t leave without her broomstick.

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But be wary. Since she’ll turn you into a frog if you piss her off. Or worse.

20. There’s never a wrong time to party.

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Seems like they’re having a good time. Though this might before the midnight killing spree for all you know.

21. “Won’t you come in and stay awhile?”

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I know the guy is supposed to be some kind of cowboy. But the two kids look like a couple of very creepy monkeys.

22. This skeleton always hangs out with the witches.

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Though the skeleton monster seems tame compared to the two witches. Now they’ll certainly put you in a cauldron if they could.

23. Not sure what to think about the new neighbors.

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Well, they don’t seem like a nice family. More likely they’re people you don’t want to go to their house for trick-or-treating. Then again, maybe I’m wrong.

24. Donald, what the hell happened to you?

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Like I said, old Disney costumes are horrifying. But this Donald Duck costume isn’t as nightmarish ad Donald Trump.

25. Beware of the specter of Death.

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Yet, you don’t want to go near the girls either. Because they’re bound to haunt your nightmares.

26. Chuckles the Clown invites you to his humble home.

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For the love of God, keep away from here at all costs. Or else, Chuckles will get you.

27. While monsters often frequent the streets at night, you’ll some out during the day.

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You might want to get your kids inside when you see people like these. For they will go after your little children if they can.

28. Be wary when you run into this cat girl.

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She may seem harmless. But keep in mind that she will kill you in your sleep if you let her in.

29. Perhaps this mime may amuse you.

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Guess his costume is fastened with duck tape. Yet, let him in and he’ll make you regret it.

30. “Trick or treat.”

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Quick, give them candy so they’ll leave you alone. If they don’t like it, they may come back to murder you.

31. Apparently, Bubbles likes to hang around with the cabbage patch.

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And he seems rather out of place among the soulless dolls. Not sure which is scarier.

32. A witch needs her ghosts to help in her evil schemes.

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The ghosts may be kids in sheets. But the black and white in this photo makes everything seem all so terrifying.

33. Would you give candy to kids like these?

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Give the creepy gnome and her friend the Snickers bars and hope they’re satisfied. Because Lord knows what’ll happen to you if they don’t.

34. Perhaps this sailor prefers to hang out with a ghost.

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Yet, look into his eyes and you’ll find a soulless void of unrelenting doom. Just look away.

35. When you see Frankenstein monsters in dirty shirts, it’s time to run.

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You also see a ghost with a blue face between them. So give them candy and they will disappear if they show up at your doorstep.

36. Want to spend time with these ladies?

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One has Native American mask that emits a very negative stereotype. The other has a princess one.

37. On a snowy day, would you let these masked figures in?

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One has a black hat and white cloth on the mouth. The other has a black scarf on her head covering her eyes.

38. Sometimes a simple black mask is all you need.

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She just wears a mask with her feather hat and dress. Makes you wonder if she has murder on the mind.

39. This vampire wants your blood.

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Indeed, it’s a bought costume. But the mask will certainly scare the hell out of you.

40. Nobody should cross Cinderella’s stepmother and stepsisters.

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Funny, how they’re even scarier in the live action version. Like they could give me nightmares.

41. If you’re at a Halloween party, don’t cross this Asian lady.

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Okay, that’s pretty racist. But please, don’t tell her that since you may never be seen again.

42. Seems like one of these witches isn’t too happy.

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It’s the one on the left, by the way. And it seems like she’s about to turn her friend into a toad any minute now.

43. Want to join this skeleton crew?

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Don’t really seem like a lively bunch. Yet, you might want to avoid them like the plague.

44. Nobody wants to be at this devil’s pitchfork.

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That mask is simply horrifying. And I’m sure that pitchfork has real prongs that will rip your flesh to kingdom come.

45. What? Never saw a well dressed witch before?

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Oh, wait, that woman is supposed to be Mother Goose. Still, she doesn’t inspire wholesome childhood rhymes. More like nightmares.

46. Perhaps this gnome girl will protect your garden.

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Though I’d be much more worried about the critters than her. While that grin indicates she has murder on the mind.

47. Don’t forget to wear a mask to the party.

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And it seems this party required that a guy had to dress up as an offensive racial stereotype. Yep, that’s really racist.

48. No one dare approach the witch.

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Is that mask sewed on? God, that’s so disturbing it’s freaking me out.

49. A devilish clown haunts the local countryside.

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And little Bootsie the cat was never seen again. So make that what you will.

50. Best you don’t go near this Indian woman.

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Okay, that’s really offensive. Then again, she’s probably a ghost of a woman buried under the house’s foundation.

51. Giggles the clown can be such a delight.

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But remember that he moonlights as a serial killer. So if you cross him, he will get you.

52. This ghost has a unique way of carving a pumpkin.

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Still, you don’t want to mess with this phantom. For you will live to regret it, if you survive at all.

53. Seems like these 2 are on the Dark Side of the Force.

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These old DIY Star Wars costumes seem more appropriate for a horror movie. This is especially since they’re only masks and nothing else.

54. Want to hear some music?

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Unfortunately, it was Johnny’s last song. For he was never seen or heard from again afterwards. And that was after he beat the Devil in Georgia.

55. If you want to scare birds, try these scarecrows.

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Okay, they’re people in costumes. But they’ll sure scare crows all the same.

56. Nothing beats a cool fall breeze.

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Wonder if these women live in some abandoned house covered in cobwebs. Would really explain a lot.

57. I’m sure you can trust this scarecrow with your children.

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I can see why this little girl doesn’t want to be held by this guy. Hope she wasn’t found dead in some dark alley afterwards.

58. How would you like to see these ghosts at your house?

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Gladys wasn’t seen again after this. But there are plenty of rumors that she was murdered in a dark alley that night.

59. Someone must be creeping around.

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Yet, when you see him in the moonlight, run for your life. Because that’s when he’s in a stabbing mood.

60. Siblings always seem to dress alike.

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Yet, both seem to have different mask. Nonetheless, they’re guaranteed to kill you in your sleep.

61. These fairies walk in the garden hand in hand.

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Yet, do anything to hurt them and they will lash out. Still, you can bet on them haunting your dreams when you come across them.

62. These two Indians always know how pose for the camera.

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Okay, they’re white boys dressed as Native Americans. And yes, it’s certainly cultural appropriation. Though at least they’re not wearing war paint for a Redskins game.

63. Always help a little old lady across the street.

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Okay, these are just a couple of kids. But the Groucho Marx glasses doesn’t really help matters with the kid on the left.

64. You won’t see these witches’ faces.

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Since they’re wearing black masks. So you won’t know which one turned you into a toad.

65. Someone hasn’t had any luck trick or treating.

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I’m sure she’ll be back to get her revenge if she doesn’t get any candy. And whoever lives there won’t be seen or heard again.

66. A dog is a rather tranquil creature.

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Dear God, can someone get out their hunting rifle and shoot that thing? I don’t care if it doesn’t have rabies.

67. Be easy on him, he’s just come out of the laboratory.

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He’s also been experimented on a lot that he’s a really bad mood. So don’t stand in his way.

68. You may pass by this candelabra in the halls.

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So I guess the live action version of Beauty and the Beast wasn’t well received. Not sure why she’s not pictured with a clock.

69. Want to know what’s in the can?

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Actually, no. Since this thing scares the hell out of me and will haunt my dreams.

70. There’s a chance you might come across an organ grinder.

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However, the monkey seems way too big. And he seems kind of sad in his captivity.

71. Behold the all seeing radar eye.

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Man, this is freaky. Seriously, why would anyone wear this for Halloween?

72. Don’t forget to take the stairs.

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Those masks are simply frightening. Bound to inspire nightmares.

73. “Is this your cat?”

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Kind of feel bad for the cat. Seriously, you’d think this wolf would devour it at some point.

74. Co-join twins always know how to have fun.

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Yet, if you go near them, they will try to kill you. Don’t say that I didn’t warn you.

75. Is that a bear near that house?

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I think so. But I’d rather take my chances in the woods than with this guy.

76. “Come out and play with us, Danny.”

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Does one of them have a Native American mask? Either way, these kids look really creepy.

77. Would you want to see a rat like this in your yard?

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Seems like it. Yet, it’s especially scary that this photo was taken at night.

78. These women will beg for your attention.

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They certainly have my attention. Though how much do I have to pay to make them go away? Also, dressing as a disabled person for Halloween isn’t a great idea.

79. Seems like Satan can’t keep his hands off her.

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Well, the devil does have his hands on her breasts. Unlike some men, this doesn’t hurt the Prince of Darkness’ career. Since being an evil bastard is part of his job.

80. You’d almost think this was a real ghost car.

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In a way, it kind of is. After all, you have ghosts in the driver and passenger seat.