The Anthro World of Furry Costumes (Third Edition)

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In the hot and humid atmosphere of Southwestern PA in early July, the Furries descend upon Pittsburgh for their annual Anthro Con, which is the world’s second largest convention for them. Why they’re able to withstand the hot summer heat this time of year, I have no idea. But they come from all over the place and have money to burn so Pittsburgh really doesn’t mind as long as they behave themselves. This year, the Furries are stated to bring about $7.9 million to Allegheny County which is a big boost to the area. And with that kind of cash, you really don’t care where it comes from, even if it is from people who like dressing in animal costumes. And if you go to Fernando’s Café during this weekend, you’ll find plenty of Furries hanging out. After all, they raised money to help the owner keep his business through donations during the Great Recession. So for your reading pleasure, I give you another assortment of Furries for this Anthro Con weekend.

  1. A crouching dog is always ready to rumble.

Here he is ready to fight. Best not to mess with him or he’ll rip you to shreds.

2. This fox is ready to mingle in her bright red scarf.

She has her own fluffy tail with a blue tip. And she’s not shy to show it off.

3. Of course, you might have some hell hounds here and there.

Don’t they won’t bite. They’re just hanging out at the convention.

4. Always put your best paw forward.

This dog seems happy to greet their fellow furries. And will show their blue and yellow paws.

5. Someone must’ve received a package.

And someone can’t wait to open it. Wonder what it is. Is it a brand new chew toy?

6. A few pounds of kibble, please.

Actually they seem more likely to be in the candy store. Yet, I’m not sure what this person is supposed to be.

7. Only at Anthro Con can a bunny and polar bear be friends.

Because in real life, a bear is more likely to eat the bunny. And a bunny is less likely to be purple and yellow.

8. A cool cat can always be a snappy dresser.

This one wears a green shirt and a blue polka dot scarf. And they’re all dressed and ready to go.

9. This sitting dog is all covered in tiger stripes.

He’s also wearing a shirt and pants. Seems like he’s going to a concert afterwards.

10. This dark dog sometimes loves to lay about.

And he seems ready to show his claws. So best you leave like right now.

11. I thought dogs weren’t allowed on the subway.

Don’t worry, I’m sure he’s toilet trained. Because he’s a guy in an animal costume.

12. This tiger is locked and loaded.

I’m sure the gun is a toy. But he surely looks like a badass compared to Tony the Tiger.

13. Don’t mind the dog with this cup.

He just has a red Dixie cup on his nose. Guess he really likes to party.

14. You need not fear this friendly hyena.

After all, he’s not that filthy compared to those on the Savannah. Rather, he seems quite clean and friendly.

15. This dog loves showing his claws.

Since they’re all shiny and green. And so is his tongue which is kind of gross.

16. This tiger always loves to wander in the forest.

Well, they’re wearing ragged clothes for some reason. Yet, they like pouncing on the rocks.

17. No frisky fox can resist this vixen.

After all, sexy foxes are always seen as vixens. This one is no different.

18. This cat knows how to don a sweater.

Not sure how he keeps cool during the summer. But he doesn’t look quite bad either.

19. Get a load of this colorful cat.

Yes, this colorful tiger seems straight out of a drug trip. But they just like to hang around.

20. This dog always knows how to rock.

Here he is in his furry get up. He even has his own hat for his ears to stick out.

21. This cat loves hanging by the waterside.

Though they may not want to go into the water. Since it might ruin their coat.

22. This cat has the world on a staff.

This might be a character from some video game. Then again, you have to like their sense of style.

23. Every dog needs a break now and then.

Well, we all can use a break. Furries are probably no exception.

24. Someone seems quite excited today.

Well, they’re in their pants and shirt. And they have their paws up in glee.

25. Want to give a hand to this colorful goat?

Keep in mind that a lot of these furries don’t appear in colors that conform to nature. This goat is purple with green feet and horns.

26. This blue fox wears their heart on their coat.

Well, they have hearts on their upper arms. And they seem quite modest about it.

27. Want to play some ball?

Hope you can keep up in a game of catch. Then again, it’s not a game you should play indoors.

28. This horned cat is off on an epic adventure.

And they seem rather sneaky about it if you ask me. Hope they watch the horns.

29. These loveable animals love to train for a fight.

But they’re always in a good sport about it. Yet, don’t mess with them or they will fight.

30. This dragon loves to spread their wings.

Kind of surprise you don’t see a lot of dragons at these events. Since they’re among the coolest fantasy creatures.

31. Bet you’re expecting this white tiger to drop and give twenty.

Yet, whatever the case, this tiger seem irritated about it. Not sure why, exactly.

32. How about you raise your paws for this tiger?

Sure they may seem a bit dirty. But they’re happy to smile for the camera.

33. This bird of prey has come to roost.

This bird also looks familiar. Not sure where I’d recognize them from.

34. Get a look at this friendly zebra.

Because zebras in the wild are usually too mean for domestication. Since they have to defend themselves against lions.

35. This dog always loves to receive a heart now and then.

Doesn’t hurt that she’s wearing a wig and glasses. Don’t worry, she won’t bite.

36. This wolf feels rather ambivalent about city life.

And I’m sure they’re not in Pittsburgh. Since it’s a coastal area while Pittsburgh certainly isn’t.

37. This dog always shows pride in their ears.

And they don’t mind standing for the photo either. Still, they have their unique kind of charm.

38. Who says dogs don’t have wings?

Actually, dogs don’t have wings in real life. But in furry land, an animal can have as many attributes as desired.

39. Perhaps a snowy owl may interest you.

Though this owl likes to wear clothes like they’re from a fantasy story. Not exactly sure why.

40. “I shall call him, Mini Me.”

Well, they have stuffed dog in a similar patterned scarf. So you can get the idea.

41. This spotted pooch loves to sport a long jacket.

Guess they’re on a key mission. Not sure but they’ll never say.

42. This yellow beast sports a flower necklace.

She also seems rather coy about being photographed. But her yellow fur makes her stand out.

43. This wolf loves to play in the snow.

Not sure why Pittsburgh would host Anthro Con in the winter than the summer. Weather wise, it would make more sense.

44. Who can turn down flowers from this dog?

Indeed, the roses are fake. But this dog seems quite sweet with its puppy eyes.

45. Who says a tiger can’t come in on a scooter?

This yellow and black striped tiger shows otherwise. And they seem to have a rather good time.

46. I wouldn’t go near Puss in Boots if I were you.

Because when he shows his kitty cat eyes, he’s about to attack. Since he uses them to get his enemies to drop their guard.

47. Some colorful dog would like to say hello.

They may be dining out. But that doesn’t mean they won’t turn down a photo op.

48. Didn’t know they can do hand signs with paws.

Yet, they don’t seem to mind as they salute for the camera. And wearing a multicolored scarf around their neck.

49. Who wants to give a cat a hug?

There they are dressed and in a pile of leaves. But they seem quite happy to spread out their arms.

50. Bet you’d never come across a horse like this before.

Yes, that’s a furry horse. And yes, they almost seem like they’re straight from a fantasy story.

51. You always have that one furry willing to show off their tail.

This one has a long, striped tail with bright blue stripes on it. And they’re dying to show it off.

52. This cat seems like a slave to fashion.

They’re in a sleek skirt and matching skirt. So this cat must make herself fancy.

53. Best you don’t go near this big black dog.

Yet, he seems to keep his sleek black coat impeccable. But beware of them.

54. Who says furries don’t like dancing?

This fox always knows how to do the tango. Though I wonder if they know the fox trot.

55. This dog likes showing off their blue fur.

Well, their belly seems to contain blue shades. But they love to rock their coat for the picture.

56. This blue cat just wants to swing by.

They have pink and blue stripes. And they seem to like hanging around the spiral staircase.

57. This lion just wants to hang out in a tree.

Though they seem to have some spots on their coat. Not sure why that is.

58. This dog has to be in a harness.

Wonder if they’re kept on a leash. Though this dog seems friendly to me.

59. Can you give a paw to this pink cat?

She even has her own collar. And you got to love her pink spots, too.

60. This cat knows how to rock a suit.

Sure he may be a tabby. But that doesn’t mean he can dress too shabby.

61. Apparently, this fox has his pants ultimately ripped.

He even seems equipped with belts on his chest. Bet he’s on an adventure.

62. Want to play in the snow with this dragon?

Well, if you get cold, this dragon can breathe some fire. But they better not scorch a forest.

63. This brave wolf knows how to use an ax.

He’s even clad in armor for added protection. And I guess he couldn’t fit into the helmet and pants.

64. This bird has plenty to crow about.

This one has a bird spreading their wings. Wonder what kind it’s supposed to be since you have to look from the back.

65. Not sure if I want to run into this bear in the woods.

Seems like a rather realistic costume if you get my drift. Wonder how many times they get mistaken for the real thing.

66. You might want to get acquainted with this goat.

And they seem rather fuzzy in their white coat. Not to mention how they rock the horns.

67. This white tiger just wants to lay around with the other cats.

You have to wonder what the cat is thinking. Because it may not have the slightest idea.

68. All these furries want are free hugs.

They even have free hug signs. Still, I don’t think there’s much to worry about with them.

69. Bet you wouldn’t run into to this funky goat.

They’re mostly blue and wearing a hat over the scarf. Check out those pink glasses.

70. You wouldn’t like this polar bear when they’re angry.

And it seems that this bear is on the rampage. So best to stay away from them.

71. Apparently, this buck decided to go stag.

After all, he came all by himself. But I wouldn’t lock antlers with him on a bad day.

72. This cat knows how to use the Force.

Here they sit on the couch with a purple lightsaber in hand. But they will pounce when threatened.

73. Hope you didn’t think you’d see them in this post.

Indeed this is the Pink Panther. Cue the iconic Harry Mancini music.

74. Check this fox on the bridge.

Not sure if they’re in Pittsburgh. But the city does have at least one yellow bridge.

75. Seems like these two have a kitten in their paws.

Well, the kitten is a plush toy. But these cats seem to care about each other.

76. This dog greets everyone with open paws.

They’re even wearing a shirt and shorts. And they’re wanting for a hug.

77. This black dog has a rather sneaky side.

This guy is called Zippo Wolf. And I bet they’re in Pittsburgh for the convention.

78. Lay your eyes on this blue raccoon.

They’re even wearing a gray sweat shirt. Still, hope they don’t get in your garbage.

79. This lonely kitty needs a hug.

Well, they’re pouting at this point. So now may not be a great time.

80. This dog always loves to nibble on a steak now and then.

Well, as long as it’s plush steak. But they don’t seem to mind.

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Goal Worthy Soccer Fans from the FIFA World Cup

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Okay, I know the Men’s US Soccer Team won’t be in Russia since they didn’t qualify. But Women’s US Soccer Team will qualify for theirs since they win the World Cup in their tournament almost every time.

This week marked the beginning for the 21st FIFA World Cup hosted by Russia which had rights since 2010 that was way before all the collusion, cheating, and human rights abuses. Since my country the United States didn’t qualify, this isn’t a huge deal outside diehard American soccer fans. But since its founding in 1930, the World Cup has been the most prestigious soccer tournament in the world as well as the most widely viewed and followed sporting event in the world, even exceeding the Olympic Games. So it’s a very huge deal. And since it’s so widely watched around the world as soccer is one of the most popular sports, you’re granted to see plenty of crazy fans since a lot of countries take the sport very seriously like you have no idea. I mean have you ever heard of soccer hooligans? They exist. You also hear all kinds of crazy stories in soccer violence that make you scratch your head. And they thought American football fans were insane. Anyway, while most of my readers are American, there are plenty of viewers from other countries. So any post I do for the World Cup is mostly for them. Now for your reading pleasure, I give you an assortment of crazy soccer fans and their elaborate costumes worth blowing your vuvuzela over. Enjoy.

  1. Don’t worry, Russia’s soccer fans aren’t that crazy.

Well, this guy seems friendly though he might just like large grandiose hats. Hope the other fans are all right.

2. Look out, here comes the Swiss cow brigade.

They have plush cows on their hats. And they’re even wearing shirts for Team Switzerland. Odd since I thought they’re supposed to remain neutral.

3. You can tell this soccer fan is a proud Mexican.

Since he has the image from his national flag. But he’s also showing what his country will do to its rivals in the tournament. Cue the eagle killing a snake.

4. The Russians are up and ready to rumble.

They’re all wearing armor and headdress. Though I highly doubt that the war bonnet is part of their culture. Still, they look pretty awesome.

5. Sometimes you just have to send in the shamans.

This guy is from Ghana, by the way. And I think he might be doing a ritual from his culture though I doubt it. But you never know.

6. These Japanese fans are absolutely psyched for the World Cup.

Here they’re wearing pins of the World Cup trophy. Not sure why Japanese fans would wear these outfits.

7. Ladies, may I give you some delectable soccer fans from Greece.

As you can guess these nice-looking guys are dressed up as their country’s most famous dish. You know, Greek yogurt.

8. Bet you’ve never seen a Swedish woman like her.

Okay, that’s a guy. But he’s nonetheless wearing a horned helmet with braids.

9. It’s time for the Chinese fans to get the large drums out.

Well, they may not be as crazy as the others. But they seem like they’re performing a ritual with these large drums.

10. This Brazilian is all covered in flags.

You’ll see more Brazilian fans in this post. Since soccer is absolutely huge there. And yes, this costume is ridiculous.

11. Can’t cheer for the World Cup without Christ the Redeemer.

Well, the World Cup was held in Brazil that Year. Nonetheless, this guy has a rather interesting hat.

12. You’d almost think this American soccer fan is out of this world.

Too bad he won’t be in Russia. Since the US Men’s team didn’t make it. But he rocks in blue hair.

13. Here comes the Honduran Mayan king and his court.

They all have painted faces. Yet, the guy on the far left has a funky headdress.

14. Never thought I’d see a Colombian elephant before.

Okay, this isn’t the best fan costume I’ve seen. Yet, kind of has a combination of both pathetic and terrifying.

15. If you’re from Pakistan, get a load of this hat.

Yes, he’s wearing his country on his costume. Because he cares so much about his team to look this ridiculous.

16. A Dutchman always dreams of a World Cup win.

For some reason, there are a lot of crazy Dutch fans at international sporting events. And yes, he’s wearing large glasses, a pimp hat, and an orange Hulk hand.

17. In the Netherlands, it’s not over until the fat barmaid sings.

Sure she might seem straight out of Wagner if she wore a horned Viking helmet. But this Dutch lady goes for the orange.

18. The Japanese blue frog salutes the team.

Didn’t know what this guy’s significance is. Still, wouldn’t want to run into whoever they are.

19. Seems like Dutch Air brought in a whole flight crew.

Actually they’re just fans dressed as a flight crew so their team lands on a win. But compared with other outrageous Dutch costumes, this is low key.

20. Apparently, George S. Patton has decided to show up.

God only knows what Patton would say in a World Cup soccer match. Still, you can see where the look came from.

21. Apparently, the French fans decided to dress like Vikings.

I think they’re based on Asterix cartoons, which are reputedly popular there. But don’t ask me.

22. Irish World Cup fans always go for the green.

These guys paint themselves green and wear Irish flag wigs. And yes, they’re ready to rumble.

23. Want to see a couple of Argentinian zebras make out?

I don’t get the zebra thing since Argentina is in South America. But the guy seems a bit taken aback here.

24. This Ivory Coast fan can always make an impression.

You know he’s on stilts since no guy can be that tall. But he knows how to draw a large crowd.

25. Apparently, this Brazilian warlock has decided to take a picture.

Because giving children nightmares should get in the way of enjoying a soccer game. And yes, he’s wearing that outfit for Halloween.

26. These leprechauns are urging Team Ireland make it.

However, while these Irish may dress as leprechauns doesn’t mean Americans should do so. Because they find depictions of leprechauns outside their country very offensive.

27. Seems like this Brazilian has his beard really tied.

Not sure how this guy deals with the discomfort. Then again, he’s only wearing his beard for the tournament.

28. You can’t misidentify these all-American women.

I’ve heard the idea of wrapping oneself in an American flag. But painting akin to one just takes the cake for me.

29. Check out the glasses on this Danish guy.

Yes, he’s wearing soccer glasses. Because he has Danish soccer on his mind. Not sure if he’s eating a Danish.

30. This Dutch bear has high hopes for the World cup.

I’m sure he’s in an orange bear costume with the World Cup trophy. Not sure about the significance of that.

31. You might not want to mess with this masked Japanese fan.

Yes, that mask is creepy. Though I have to admit it goes well with the hat.

32. A Brazilian lady must have a big bow at the World Cup.

And yes, the bow is green with yellow polka dots. She even ahs 2014 glasses, too.

33. Wonder who’s in the Ghana box.

Apparently, a fan who’s just as mystified. Still, I wonder how that person got out of that after the tournament.

34. These Japanese fans are looking quite blue lately.

I mean their faces are painted blue and have blue hair to match. However, they seem quite excited seeing their team play.

35. This Swiss man always loves to blow his horn.

He’s brought his trumpet and funky hat. And yes, it has 2 bright Swiss balloons.

36. An Australian fan can’t go without an antler kangaroo?

Okay, that’s pretty weird. And I see the guy wearing a mask as if he doesn’t want an embarrassment.

37. Sometimes you just have to spread your wings.

There’s one guy from Colombia whose costume is so elaborate, people just have to pose with him. And no, I don’t think he can fly.

38. With these French fans, it’s all for one and one for all.

Since they’re dresses as the Three Musketeers. With feather hats from the 17th century and all.

39. These German women are hopping mad.

What’s the deal with the bunny ears? I don’t understand it since they seem quite ridiculous.

40. This Brazilian soccer fan debuts in his new flag suit.

He even has striped tights, big glasses, and a funky hat to match. Let’s give it for this guy.

41. Best you don’t get this German devil lady angry.

Fortunately for her, the German team won in Brazil in 2014. Yet, she has braids matching the flag colors.

42. A Brazilian woman can’t show up without a tall feather hat.

Well, Brazil is known for its colorful pageantry, especially in Rio. Yet, at least her headdress sparkles.

43. What the hell are those weird Dutch guys in Mohawks doing here?

Don’t ask me. I have no idea why they have these muscled guys here. Must be a Dutch thing.

44. An Aztec Emperor should always wear the most elaborate headdress.

If his team doesn’t do well in the World Cup, then he will have his priests rip the players’ hearts out. Nonetheless, he’s also a fan of tacos.

45. Looks like this Roman soldiers gung ho for Team Italy.

By the way, Italy didn’t make it in this year’s World Cup either. So you won’t see this Roman gladiator anytime soon in Russia.

46. You’ll get a big hand from this Australian.

Helps if he’s wearing a wide hat and a flag cape. But the large hand stands out.

47. You’d be pressed not to be endeared with these Icelandic Vikings.

Indeed, Vikings never wore horned helmets. But that doesn’t stop these guys from cheering and singing.

48. Best you beware of the dreaded Colombian Tiger.

Okay, he’s more like a carefree guy with a flamboyant headdress. Love the feathers.

49. Speaking of headdresses, the Italians get theirs on.

Sure I don’t think they have anyone in the culture wear these outlandish hats. But they’re nonetheless colorful.

50. You can tell these Germans are here for the soccer.

Since they’re wearing soccer ball suits. And I’m sure they’re both filled with a lot of air.

51. Mexico is really on a Chile pickle.

Okay, this fan is wearing a Mexico pickle hat. Still, it’s kind of hilarious no matter how you look at it.

52. Ladies and gentlemen, I give you Spanish Zorro.

He’s in one of those body suits with a hat and mask. But he’s all for his Spanish team.

53. This man wears a horned helmet for Team India.

Just when did the Vikings visit India? Because I never heard about that in the history books. Still, he carries the look with dignity.

54. These American guys show up to the World Cup in their star-spangled silk robes.

Well, Americans have always treasured their penchant for comfy clothes. But these guys seem to take this at a whole new level.

55. Perhaps the Dutchman would like to bang the drum.

Yes, I know he’ll probably offend Native Americans looking at this with his feather headdress war bonnet. But at least he’s not in his home country in early December.

56. A World Cup victory can always make anyone feel like a king.

Well, he’s German fan who’s probably overjoyed in Brazil. Still, got to like his royal red robes.

57. Captain America is a man on a mission.

Okay, he’s not the Captain America. But he nonetheless has the iconic shield along with the stars and stripes on his suit.

58. This South Korean likes a good cigar now and then.

Kind of reminds me of an anime character. And chances are, he probably is. Though he’s from South Korea.

59. Only the Dutch would wear wigs of orange foam.

Their funky wigs even have flags of the Netherlands on them. And yes, the Dutch seem to go all out.

60. Sometimes it’s best you don’t mess with Mexicans in elaborate headdresses.

Not sure if he’s Mayan or Aztec. But he won’t be happy if his team loses. Still, his headdress rocks.

61. Darth Vader seems to be on the Argentinian side of the Force.

Since he believes that winning the World Cup is Argentina’s destiny. Else, he’ll force choke them.

62. Didn’t know that Pope Francis was at the World Cup with his fellow Argentinians.

Okay, Pope Francis wasn’t there. It’s just a guy in a mask of him. But I’m sure he’d like the tribute since he’s an avid soccer fan.

63. This Italian warrior is ready for the soccer challenge.

And he’s clad in blue armor to show it. Hope he’s lucky that he’s not the attraction in the gladiatorial games.

64. You don’t know nothing about the elusive Mask.

However, he’s here for Team Brazil. Nonetheless, this is a fitting costume in regards to the color scheme on the Brazilian flag.

65. She’s got two sombreros and not much to cover.

And you can see them conveniently placed over her boobs. Oh, and she has fringes, too.

66. At the World Cup, you can’t beat the zeal of the Orange General.

He’s a Dutch superfan. And yes, he’s clad in orange, a terrible color to wear in combat.

67. Heard of cheeseheads? Well, here are the Swiss cheeseheads.

You can see they got this idea from Green Bay Wisconsin. And they gave the notion a unique touch for the World Cup.

68. I give you Watermelon Man.

Here he is posing for a selfie. Has a quite pleasant face if you ask me.

69. Apparently, Russian fans like seeing their players ride dragons.

One has a hydra. The other has a red dragon. But both look quite formidable and whimsical.

70. This American fan is so badass, he even has his own dinosaur hand.

I’m sure Hollywood is working on a movie based on him as we speak. Because he certainly has the action movie look to him.

71. Without the orange you’d think these two came from Las Vegas.

Well, the Dutch never disappoint with their outrageous fans. Though I like the feather headdress.

72. Even hombres can rock in sombreros and Mexican dresses.

You have to admit these dresses are very colorful. And that these men rock in them.

73. Who’s supposed to be the creepy head among the Argentinians?

Maybe it’s one of the players. But it’s the stuff of nightmares nonetheless.

74. This Colombian fan knows how to impress.

This was all the way from 1990. And he’s dressed like a bird carrying 2 flags.

75. Seems like this lady likes to dress in the Union Jack.

She’s there to support her English soccer team. Also, this is from 1970, by the way.

76. These women from Uruguay have some unique choices in headwear.

It’s to imitate the sun emblazoned on their flag. And yes, they certainly stun.

77. Behold, the majestic feathered eagle warrior.

This fan has his arms outstretched in feathered wings. Like the Aztec warriors of pre-Columbian history.

78. Check out that horned creature all the way from Ecuador.

Sure this guy has his arms outstretched. Yet, you can’t help but keep your eyes on him and his strange head.

79. Apparently, Bert and Ernie are rooting for Team Germany.

Though Bert and Ernie are actually American characters from Sesame Street. Guess they have an international following.

80. Might want to watch out for those clowns from Ecuador.

One of them is the Joker from the Dark Knight. You know what destruction he’s capable of. Why so serious?

81. You can’t see anything more regal than these English lions.

Well, the lion has a special place in English iconography. Though they have crosses on their faces to show.

82. Seems like these Italian pilots have landed.

Each is dressed in a flag color. And they’re wearing old timey pilot hats to match.

83. The Eggman always knows how to make an entrance.

He’s a South African superfan with a huge headdress decked with eggs. Wonder how he manages to keep it on his head.

84. It’s not just humans who get swept up in World Cup excitement.

This basset hound is dressed in Brazil’s colors and wears a fro. And it seems quite attentive to the game in the stands.

85. You don’t want to see this Mexican when he’s angry.

But the Hulk certainly knows how to don a red sombrero. But please, don’t make him mad.

86. This Dutchman comes with his own veggies.

He’s even wearing a hat with carrots and a radish. So he won’t go hungry.

87. A Portuguese superhero must know how to rock a scarf and mustache.

Well, a superhero has to stand tall even at a soccer game. And yes, he has Portuguese flag insignia where the Superman logo would be.

88. Mexican Superman would never miss a soccer match for his country.

But keep in mind his main nemesis is Donald Trump. Because the guy’s a full-blown narcissistic sociopath and white supremacist.

89. Looks like one Mexican came to the World Cup on a donkey.

Don’t worry the donkey is part of the costume. Yet, you wonder how many seats he’ll take up in the stands.

90. During American games, you can never have too many Elvis impersonators.

Indeed, Elvis Presley is an American treasure. That’s why you have these fans in sequins to watch a US soccer match.

91. These English knights are up and ready for battle at the World Cup.

A few of them even have their faces painted. Still, wouldn’t want to wear all that mail in June.

92. These fans from South Africa know how to support their team.

Yes, South African fans can dress in crazy costumes, too. Though the one in the large glasses takes the cake.

93. It’s during the World Cup when some Ecuadorian fans don elaborate masks.

Not sure about the cultural significance of these outfits. Must be a Pre-Columbian thing.

94. You’d almost think these Americans have heads full of corn.

Well, our country grows and consumes a lot of it. So it’s only fair if you ask me.

95. Wonder what’s with the pot on his head.

As you can see, this guy is from Ghana. But his pot seems like it’s filling with smoke.

96. Man, this Brazilian has large, uh, soccer balls.

Yeah, I know what some of you are thinking. Still, Brazil is a big place for soccer as it’s always been.

97. All Mexicans at the World Cup, hail your Emperor Montezuma.

Well, he certainly has the outfit nailed. Still, best not to make him mad or he’ll give you a nice drink of water.

98. This American woman always wraps herself in a flag.

She even has a sign for Hope Solo. Though she’s not exactly America’s sweetheart if you ask me.

99. My fellow Americans, say hello to President Theodore Goalsevelt.

He’s a superfan who’s dressed like Theodore Roosevelt. But he’s more into soccer than big game hunting.

100. A big head of hair always requires a large comb.

And you can see that with this Brazilian fan who seems like a used car salesman from Las Vegas. Still, like his large glasses.

Fun with Easter Bonnets (Fourth Edition)

lady-bonnet

One of the key traditions of Easter is the Easter bonnet. Though originally worn by ladies for Easter church services in less casual times, it has somewhat fallen out of fashion in that regard. Yet, Easter bonnets have always been nonetheless elaborate since the holiday marks the end of Lent. However, in places like New York, thanks to Easter parades, Easter bonnets have risen to a whole new level. No longer are they seen as what women wear to church anymore. Or even women in general. But the kind of wacky hat to wear for a Easter parade. Some of these hats may seem straight out of a Las Vegas showgirl routine. Some may be DIY. Some may have flowers, eggs, chicks, sheep, and other Easter motifs. Some may not. So for your reading pleasure, I give you another assortment of extravagant Easter bonnets.

  1. Some girls go for a beehive while some prefer butterflies.

Then a again the woman’s hat may be meant to imitate straw. Yet, the butterflies are pretty.

2. You’d almost think she got her hat from outer space.

This an old photo of a woman wearing a hat that would rival Lady Gaga. I don’t know if any explanation is necessary.

3. You can always line your straw bunny hat with chocolate.

Though I’d say it’s a waste of chocolate. Love the flower and fuzzy bunny ears.

4. Sometimes Easter can take a prehistoric turn.

The triceratops even has fancy eggs. I guess this is meant for a boy who’s a big fan of Jurassic Park.

5. Care for a bunny on your bonnet?

This plush bunny even has its own bonnet. Yes, it’s kind of confusing. But it’s adorable.

6. Someone must be on the springy side of the Force.

Has pipe cleaners with squiggles attached to eggs. Got to like Darth Vader and a clone soldier.

7. A broad hat can leave plenty of space.

Her had includes eggs, flowers, and a basket. It even says, “Happy Easter.”

8. There are many ways to accessorize a top hat.

This one has so many Easter stuff on it that it makes Willy Wonka jealous. And all topped off with an Easter egg shell.

9. Guess you can’t get out of doing laundry all the time.

She’s wearing a clothesline and washboard. Not sure if the clothes fit her. But it’s clever.

10. This little bird flies out of its cage to freedom.

Sure it might look outrageous. But for an Easter bonnet, it’s modest.

11. An Easter bonnet can never have enough pink.

It has a nest on top and eggs and bunnies around the brim. But I love the purple butterfly the best.

12. An Easter bonnet can never have enough eggs, chicks, or feathers.

The feathers are in all kinds of colors. The eggs are sparkle. But the chicks are all yellow pom poms.

13. Wonder why the bunny’s diving in this bonnet.

Well, I guess there are some carrots in the bin. Love the creativity behind this.

14. My, that’s a large ice cream cone.

Yes, she has an giant ice cream cone on her head. But at least it has chocolate bits on the top.

15. A lamb relishes among the flowers.

This has a plush lamb on top of a hat enclosed with a fence. And yes, it’s adorable.

16. Nobody could resist this chick tower.

And to believe it, it has pom pom chicks on it. Though I like the pink decomesh ribbon trim.

17. I guess film noir gals have their own Easter bonnets.

This one has lips with a cigarette. Like you see on femme fatales in film noir movies from the 1950s.

18. It won’t be Easter without some purple Easter grass.

Has plenty of bunnies and chickies to your heart’s content. Also includes some daisies on the brim.

19. A spring windmill can always shine at an Easter parade.

It’s in pink, purple, and yellow brick. Still, I love the bunnies and flowers.

20. A sheep hat can be so fluffy.

Kind of reminds me of Shaun the Sheep. And it’s most likely made by a child.

21. An Easter bonnet should always have a pair of bunny ears.

She’s even dressed as a bunny and holding one in her hand. How much Eastery can you get?

22. This Easter bonnet seems to reach to new heights.

Well, it has a plush chick and bunny on top. Great for an Easter parade or the bunny trail.

23. An Easter bonnet can never have enough pom poms.

You have a couple of bunnies with chickies along the brim. And I guess the pom poms around the border are Easter eggs.

24. Sometimes a simple Easter bonnet will do.

Not sure what the concept behind this bonnet is about. Yet, I couldn’t resist leaving it out of this post.

25. Don’t forget to add a birdhouse.

Yes, this was made by a child. Yet, you have to like the felt flowers and chick decorations.

26. Perhaps a yellow bird at the top will impress.

This seems more for adults as I can see. Like the yellow butterflies.

27. No Easter bonnet can ever have enough flowers.

And I see Audrey Hepburn has put an entire bouquet on her head. Yet, at least she tastefully ties her hat with a bow.

28. Even boys can proudly don their Easter bonnets.

Doesn’t hurt if it includes flowers, eggs, and ladybugs. Some of which are held by clothes pins.

29. You’d almost think this is an Easter basket.

It’s a straw hat made with flowers and Easter eggs. Not sure if you could wear it though.

30. Perhaps a more naturalistic Easter bonnet may suit you.

I guess this is of the Cast Away variety. Yeah, I don’t think he can go through town without people making faces at him.

31. Someone must have sunflowers in their eyes.

Luckily, it’s so sunny that he needs a parasol. His straw hat is also covered in flowers.

32. She seems like a small basket case.

At first I thought this might be a watering can. Then I zoomed in.

33. You never know what you can do with a large straw hat.

One hat has plenty of white flowers. The other has small Easter eggs hanging from it.

34. Daffodils are usually an iconic sign for spring.

All the flowers are on top and tied together. And yellow eggs line the brim.

35. For flowers, all you need is tissue paper.

All these guys proudly show their pastel flowers. And they’re similarly dressed to match.

36. Make sure the nest has a raft of twigs.

Though make sure to touch it up with some flowers. Yet, I wonder how this woman sees through this thing.

37. Sheep always enjoy frolicking in the pasture.

These little sheep love being on the top grass. And they’re surrounded by tulips and daisies.

38. Chicks always love a fine straw nest.

You can see a chick emerging from a newly hatched egg. But there’s a large chick sitting on a couple. Not sure why.

39. A yellow Easter bonnet is great for any big game.

Seems like this is for Angry Birds. Though there’s a soccer ball on each side.

40. Bunnies enjoys camping out in the forest.

The brim has eggs around it. The top has bunnies at a camp fire near a tent and under a tree.

41. You’d swear everything here is in one basket.

This one has Easter eggs and flowers in a basket with a bunny. Got to love this one.

42. Perhaps a simple straw hat with bunny ears will suit your fancy.

These seem simple enough to make. The ears are made of felt. And each have a matching ribbon and flower.

43. Any young boy would love a straw Angry Birds hat for the Easter parade.

Well, Angry Birds seem like a common theme in Easter bonnets for boys. Its brim is made from black feathers.

44. Sometimes a few flowers will do the trick.

This one just uses a red hat with a few pink flowers. Simple but effective.

45. You’ll find this pink nest all covered with chicks.

The chicks are all made out of pom poms. Love how some of them come out of the eggs.

46. Rabbits are always happy enclosed in a fence.

This one has a plush bunny among a garden of flowers and dragon flies. So cute.

47. My, that must be a large chick.

Well, this one has a plush chick on a straw hat. It’s surrounded by eggs.

48. You have to love a pink chick that’s just hatched.

It’s just hatched from the nest. But it’s already shedding feathers.

49. A flower hat should have a few dragonflies.

This one flowers made out of tissue flowers. Yet, the glittery dragons sure are colorful.

50. Egg cartons can be great for an Easter bonnet.

Guess these are supposed to resemble rainbow roses. Easy to make and not too difficult to wear.

51. A green bonnet can always use a few flowers.

This one has flowers among the deco mesh foliage. And it’s held in place by a pink ribbon.

52. Nothing welcomes spring like a pink hydrangea.

And this girl seems to like her hydrangea hat quite nicely. Lovely.

53. This hive Easter bonnet has everyone buzzing.

Yes, this was made by a kid. But you have to admire the creativity with the beehive. So cute.

54. Even a dog can don an Easter bonnet.

This purple hat even has bunny ears. Still, not sure what the dog thinks here.

55. You’ll always look sharp in a polka dot top hat.

The brim is trimmed with pink. Includes flowers and a pink butterfly.

56. With this pirate ship, it’s chicks ahoy.

Well, it’s a ship with pirate chicks. And yes, there’s a skull and cross bones.

57. You’ll find plenty of golden eggs on this hat.

This one is brown with a nest. Yet, remember that these eggs are spray painted styrofoam. Sorry, fortune hunters.

58. On Easter, bunny ears are for the whole family.

These bonnets are quite elaborate nonetheless. Some even have Easter eggs hanging on them.

59. Don’t forget to put peonies on your Easter bonnet.

This is a vintage picture. Yet, the flowers have tulle underneath.

60. Even old time gentlemen wear their Easter bonnets.

Kind of like how these guys seem rather matter of fact about it. After a man’s Easter hat must be fancy.

61. How about a bunny in a basket?

Yes, they had wacky Easter bonnets back in the day, too. Though I’m not sure if a black and white picture does it any justice.

62. Of course, you can add some green tulle.

This one has bunnies on the grass with butterflies. So adorable if you ask me.

63. A purple Easter bonnet can have all the trimmings.

This one has plenty of bunnies and flowers. And yes, you can see at least one bunny ear on top.

64. An Angry Birds hat should include more feathers.

This one is a cowboy hat meant to resemble an Angry Bird. Like in the famous mobile game.

65. You’ll find a chick among the flowers.

This one has a chick on top with eggs on the brim. And yes, the chick is a plushie.

66. In New York City, you better attend a parade with a large hat of flowers.

This one has a wide pink brim. Yet, you’d almost mistake this hat for a garden.

67. Seems like these angry birds have too many pigs in their nests.

This one has Easter eggs painted like Angry Birds. Most of them consist of pigs though.

68. Even the cats get into the Easter fun.

Well, cat owners anyway. Not sure if this cat is enjoying itself.

69. You’ll find plenty of chicks on this minion hat.

This is a straw hat with a minion on it. If you love Despicable Me, this is for you.

70. An Easter bonnet can never have enough eggs.

Well, the Easter eggs are all on sticks. And they’re all in basket atop the bunny hat.

71. You’d almost think this hat came from the ground.

This one has flowers and grass. And here is a bunny just lounging around.

72. A canine Easter bonnet should always have flowers.

Sure it doesn’t look out of the ordinary. But the fact it’s for a bulldog is hilarious.

73. This hat has all the eggs on the top.

Helps that it’s on a pink basket. There are even some chickies among them.

74. Perhaps you may prefer a hat from a large glass.

Yet, her hand on it means she has to keep it steady. Though it does have flowers on top.

75. She finds herself in a cage with flowers.

Well, at least she’s taking the bird cage quite well. Still, the flowers are stunning.

76. Is that a live rabbit in that cage?

Sure looks like it. Yet, whether this boy enjoys carrying it on his head is another matter.

77. A large straw hat must have an air of spring.

This one has plenty of flowers and butterflies. And this girl delights wearing it.

78. How about a sequined top hat for the Easter parade?

This one has a tulle bottom and is worn like a headband. Yet, you can always do worse.

79. It helps if the egg and chicken shine in foil.

Most of what you see on this hat is wrapped in vibrant colors. Let’s hope there’s no chocolate on it.

80. Seems like someone’s a fan of Dwight D. Eisenhower.

Hey, it was the 1950s. When the US had a president who was popular and wouldn’t threaten to nuke North Korea over a slight insult. Good times.

Figure Skating Fashion Disasters On Ice

Figure Skating

This weeks marks the start of the 2018 Winter Olympic Games in Pyeong Chang, South Korea. I haven’t done much on these events mostly since I’ve written most of my Olympics posts back during the 2016 Summer Olympics in Rio de Janeiro, Brazil. And I mostly combined both the winter and summer stuff in each post, save for the Ancient Greek Olympic article. Mostly because the Ancient Greeks didn’t have a Winter Olympics since winter sports weren’t really their thing. I mean they lived in a warm Mediterranean climate where snow only existed on mountains for God’s sake. If there was anything close to a Winter Olympics in the ancient world, it would’ve most likely be in Scandinavia. Besides, there are a lot of stuff going on in February like Valentine’s Day, Mardi Gras, and Chinese New Year. Not to mention, the crazy shenanigans at the Trump administration.

Nonetheless, the Winter Olympics do stand out in one way for a blogger like me. And that’s in the realm of figure skating. It’s a sport where people do some high acrobatics and dances on ice skates that would send any normal person attempt these stunts to the emergency room. Even so, male figure skating remains beneath the acceptable confines of traditional masculinity in the US where we have Blades of Glory as well as male skaters portrayed a little light in the skates. Still, it’s a popular spectator event with a subjective judging system based on artistry, presentation, and interpretation. Not to mention, there is a lot of drama in the Olympic competitions. Thanks, to the film, I, Tonya, many of us will now remember Tonya Harding’s husband assaulting Nancy Kerrigan’s leg with a bat. But one key feature are the sparkly outfits the skaters wear on the ice. Some may go for the classic dress or pantsuit. Some may contain sparkles. Some may depict characters from a story or pop culture. And some may represent their culture. Sometimes these costumes can make the skater shimmer and look graceful. But occasionally, you see plenty of skaters who look totally ridiculous. In this post, I show you some of the craziest skating fashions to grace the ice (though not exclusively from the Winter Olympics). For your reading pleasure, I give you an assortment of figure skating fashion fails. Enjoy.

  1. A skater can wow the judges with a black and white clown onesie.

Well, at least he’s not wearing any clown makeup to scare the kids. Still, kind of pathetic.

2. I didn’t know you can do a figure skating routine from Magic Mike.

Then again, he might be there for the fanservice. Yet, I can’t complain about his six pack.

3. Sometimes a flannel shirt and coveralls is all you need.

Sorry, but this outfit belongs out in the woods or a country barn dance. Not on ice. Still, at least his outfit didn’t cost much.

4. Unfortunately, her Katniss Everdeen costume didn’t land her on fire.

Yeah, that fire dress kind of falls flat. Even with rhinestones. Fire may burn. But ice surely chills.

5. Man, this guy really seems going for the gold.

I don’t think that gold outfit will win the judges’ favors. The Donald Trump haircut doesn’t help matters either. I’m sure he’s skating to theme from Goldfinger.

6. Some skaters wear too little. Others wear too much.

Not sure how she can skate in that outfit. Seems like she could trip on it.

7. When it comes to honoring a culture, at least insult your own.

These were Russian skaters who did a homage to the indigenous people of Australia. I’m sure Aboriginies want to cut them down with a boomerang now.

8. Nothing impresses the judges like spandex and puffed sleeves.

Hey, it was the 1980s. Puffed sleeves were all the rage at the time. Even on the skating rink.

9. Just because your robe is short and sparkly enough to skate in doesn’t mean you should.

Actually, her outfit is supposed to resemble a short kimono. Since she’s from Japan. However, Japanese styles don’t usually translate well on the skating rink for good reason.

10. Tonya Harding must make her chest sparkle.

Yes, that Tonya Harding. And yes, this costume is quite revealing as well as barely covers her boobs.

11. I guess this routine is Marc Antony and Jenifer Lopez.

Basically a celebrity couple that’s no longer together anymore. And in the douchiest imitation imaginable.

12. She certainly looks sensational for an Atlantic City blackjack dealer.

Yeah, a flashy vest and tight pants doesn’t impress me. Seems more suited for a casino.

13. Some men think they can bedazzle in buckskin.

Sorry, but that frontiersman get up doesn’t work on the ice rink. He should probably go back to playing cowboys and Indians.

14. Nothing hurts the eyes like black and yellow plaid.

How he got that in one piece, I’ll never know. But utterly tacky? Absolutely.

15. Here Katarina Witt dressed in her skating program as Gertrude McFuzz.

By the way, she caused a lot of controversy with this outfit. That in 1988 the International Skating Union instilled the “Katarina Rule” which required female skaters to wear pants and skirts. It was enforced until 2004.

16. Tara Lipinski skates to “American Woman.”

Wearing an outfit I wouldn’t be caught dead wearing in school. And yes, the pants are unusually tight.

17. Apparently, this guy just had to show his muscles.

Seems like this guy’s not wearing much. Like he’s skating to a rendition of Zoolander.

18. When in doubt, wear bright colors.

He seems more suited for hosting a kids’ show. And yes, he really stands out in a crowd.

19. Johnny Weir must wear that feather top.

Well, Weir is always known for his outlandish costumes. This is no exception.

20. Some pair skaters always go to great lengths to match.

However, I don’t think this style holds up. Reminds me of something you’d see from the 1980s.

21. Her dress is watching me, isn’t it?

Had she worn a black dress to match her partner, she wouldn’t be on this post. Alas, she dressed in an outfit that resembles a spaced out cat.

22. A swan costume is a common ice skating motif.

However, she can always overdo it with feathers. And not just around her waist either.

23. Not sure if white skaters should go with an Afro-Brazilian routine.

Particularly since the guy has a plate on his chest. Still, this is kind of offensive. Couldn’t they just do samba routine in the traditional spandex?

24. Her red skating get up is draped with red beads.

I’m sure practicality wasn’t in mind with this costume. Hope she doesn’t slip and fall should a bead fell off. Then again, ice skates are quite sharp.

25. Apparently, she wanted to skate as her favorite Disney princess.

I’m guessing it’s Jasmine, judging from her outfit. Though her pants look slashed.

26. So is this supposed to be Xenia Warrior Princess meets He-Man?

Because it sure looks like it to me. Okay, he doesn’t exactly dress like He-Man, but the style looks similar.

27. I’m afraid she has a severe case of cello butt.

I think she’s supposed to skate to a Beethoven piece. But to so with a cello on her back is ridiculous.

28. Unfortunately, she couldn’t afford another skating outfit after her costume partially burned from an ironing mishap. So she cut out the burn spots.

Okay, maybe I made it out. But at least it explains the outfit better than whatever she can come up with.

29. Perhaps a zebra suit can show one’s wild side.

She even has stripes on her arms. And yes, she doesn’t look particularly flattering.

30. At times, you’d swear that pair skaters wear similar outfits.

However, the woman always has to wear shorts while the guy wears suspenders. Still, kind of remind me of restaurant workers for some reason.

31. Can’t afford a skating outfit? Make one with see through robe.

Well, at least it’s easy to put on. But it barely covers her butt.

32. Queen Elsa, meet your future husband.

For he seems to resemble an ice king to me. Just look at the sparkle spikes on his shoulders and wrists.

33. Every figure skater yearns to shine like a star.

However, this doesn’t mean a skater should have stars all over her outfit. Kind of tacky if you ask me.

34. If you’re a fan of Braveheart, then you’ll love him on ice.

Yes, he’s dressed like William Wallace. However, that doesn’t mean he should.

35. Unfortunately, he forgot to pack his skating costume and now is stuck with his underwear.

Well, at least he showed up. Still, I’d be embarrassed to skate in that if I were him.

36. Always spread your wings.

However, this doesn’t mean your costume should include them. Because that’s just cheesy.

37. When all else fails, a male can skate with a bare chest.

Apparently, the concept of “no shirt, no service” doesn’t apply in the men’s figure skating dress code. Still, heard those rinks can be quite cold.

38. Of course, some men can rock in a sweater vest.

I’m just kidding. Still, he kind of reminds me of one of the Jonas brothers. However, brown and orange doesn’t go together.

39. A man can stun in silver.

For some reason, he reminds me of some sleazy futuristic nightclub owner. Only thing missing are nubile alien dancers on each arm.

40. Speaking of Space age, these two really make the future seem closer than we think.

She is a showgirl at the planet Zendu. He’s a hotshot bowler at the Cosmic lanes. Met at some disco club on the moon.

41. A skating outfit is always better with flowers.

However, I’m not sure what to make about flowers on a green bikini bra and tutu. Seriously, why?

42. Someone’s skating outfit is totally ripped.

Well, it certainly seems like he ripped it. But it’s just sewn with different types of fabric.

43. Their skating routine drew inspiration from Alfred Hitchcock’s The Birds.

Well, at least their outfits match. But the wings don’t do them any favors.

44. Any skating pair can stand out in neon.

However, this doesn’t mean their outfits should have neon colors. Though they might look cool if they’re skating in the dark at a rave.

45. Sorry, but I don’t think The Pink Panther on ice is going to work.

This is especially the case when it’s a homage to the cartoon. Instead of the Peter Sellers movies.

46. How about a rendition of Weird Science?

It’s a movie from the 1980s. Still, seems like the guy is a perv in this routine.

47. Apparently, she got the raw deal in the Picasso routine.

I guess she has to have the painting on her back. Let’s hope it’s not body paint.

48. A neon pair is always chic on ice.

From Cosmopolitan: “Really? A neon circus raver tutu? At the Olympics? Points for a bold choice, but major deductions for execution.”

49. A skimpy yellow skating getup can always impress the judges.

It’s basically a two piece swimsuit with a bunch of crystals on nylon. Yes, I know what you’re thinking.

50. Introducing the boy on fire.

You’d almost mistake him for a Hunger Games contestant. Too bad Katniss prefers the Boy with the Bread. And no, the odds aren’t in his favor here.

51. Irina Slutskaya is all fireworks.

Well, look at her outfit which seems to have fireworks on it. She’s bursting with confidence.

52. When you have to go a skating competition at 10 and a Ren fair at 2.

I bet this is for a Romeo and Juliet routine. Too bad the color scheme doesn’t capture the romance.

53. They decided to paint their own outfit designs this year.

Too bad they decided to dress up as jesters. But at least they’re not wearing clown makeup.

54. Off the rink, they moonlight as musicians in a Ren fair punk band.

How else could I explain the crazy outfits? They even have their jackets laced.

55. Any female skater can shine like a Queen on the Nile.

Seeing the snake, she’s probably Cleopatra. And her outfit has enough rhinestones for her to pass as a cocktail waitress at The Egyptian.

56. This skating pair should stop miming around.

Hate to break it, but clowns aren’t exactly funny. In fact, they can be quite creepy, especially if they don’t say anything.

57. Just because you like skating to country music, doesn’t mean you should.

These two are from France, by the way. Because American skating pairs think a cowboy routine is stupid.

58.  If Willy Wonka designed skating outfits, they’d probably look like this.

And yes, they’re in bright colors over black. Like they live in a candy world of sweets and nightmares.

59. Sasha Cohen needs to spread her wings.

Whether she flies like a bird is another matter. But she certainly has a great interpretive dance routine.

60. Just because you love the 1980s, doesn’t mean you should skate to its music.

From Huffington Post: “Uzbekistan’s Misha Ge channels the ’80s with this razzle dazzle suit. In a bad way.”

61. “Thunderbolt and lightning, very, very frightening to me.”

From Huffington Post: “France’s Brian Joubert should be heating up the rink with his fiery lightning suit but instead it falls flat.” Shocker.

62. A neon pair can always stand out to the judges.

From Huffington Post: “Australia’s Gregory Merriman and Danielle O’Brien look rather silly in their neon patchwork outfits. How can we take them seriously when they look like clowns?”

63. Ladies and gentlemen, I give you Robin Thicke’s brother.

Still, a striped one piece get up can really make your eyes sore. By the way, the guy’s from Spain.

64. With the right jewels, a skating pair can always sparkle.

From Huffington Post: “Americans Meryl Davis and Charlie White make figure skating outfits look cheesy thanks to Meryl’s blinged out purple dress.”

65. A men’s jacket has to include puffy sleeves.

However, it kind of seems straight out of a Steampunk movie to me. Not sure how well that translates on ice.

66. For some people, an electrocution is an inspiration.

Well, that’s what I take from this. Since the outfit design is utterly shocking.

67. Some princesses dress in their finest dresses. Other princesses…not so much.

Well, he’s not dressed to badly. But the woman is clad in the most hideous princess dress imaginable. As if she’s like “I’m a princess. I can do whatever I want.”

68. Sometimes what was all the rage during the 1980s should stay in the 1980s.

From Skating Fugly: “The 80s called, and this outfit is so bad, they don’t even want it back. Burn it.”

69. Nothing suggests the future like skating in shiny blue jumpsuits.

Of course, their outfits are missing space helmets. Because they’d go great with the suits.

70. Some male skaters prefer to go with a casual look.

Though his outfit contains the usual rhinestones. Because even a casual wearing skater needs to sparkle.

71. A pair will always be a hit with velvet denim.

Yet, these two prove that a velvet look can look trashy. Got to love the 1980, though I’m not sure if it’s set at that time.

72. Any female skater can wow crowds in a fire skirt.

Too bad you wouldn’t see an actual girl on fire like Katniss Everdeen do a dance like this. Still, fire seems to be a common motif with skaters.

73. Best to spring into action on the ice with a pool noodle skirt.

How does this translate into a skating routine with a rugged gardener, I’ll never know. Yet, the skirt obviously seems ridiculous.

74. I suppose she’s skating to “Eye the Tiger.”

Well, a tiger that’s encrusted with rhinestones all over her outfit. Kind of seems more like a Vegas show than a skating routine.

75. So I guess this skating routine rips of Gladiator.

Even so, the guy’s costume seems like cheap outfit from Party City. The woman’s well, her outfit’s not Roman at all.

76. Leopard print is always a tacky fashion choice even on the ice.

And the fact some of the spots are blue doesn’t change anything. Definitely a ridiculous choice.

77. How about a rendition of a gritty Spaghetti western?

Okay, that seems more like an ice routine of Oklahoma! Even with the stains on his outfit.

78. A lovely skating dress can be decorated with simple craft store supplies.

From Skating Fugly: “I know rick rack trim is cheap and plentiful, but covering a plain white tulle skirt with some rick rack, tying a piece around your neck, and calling it a day is pretty lazy. Yeah, there’s a top, but it’s also uninspiring. And in case you’re wondering, yes he is wearing a red velvet/velour tuxedo thing WITH TAILS.”

79. In the future, men will be dancing to red velvet jumpsuits like this.

I know it’s completely ridiculous. But at least he makes the most of it.

80. A make skater should always be a gentleman.

From Skating Fugly: “Sergei dressed as a marching band leader with a penchant for 17th century, ruffled peach-colored cravats. What instrument should he be playing? I’m going with cymbals.”

81. Silver pinstripes always go with a shiny blue shirt.

If Elton John was a 1920s gangster, I honestly think he’d dress like this. Even the pinstripes on this are shiny.

82. Seems like this guy’s dressed up as the Dread Pirate McGlitter.

Ever heard of that guy? Of course, not. For a rhinestone laden outfit doesn’t inspire dread.

83. I don’t like the face on that woman’s dress.

From Skating Fugly: “I think Svetlana is channeling 80s Madonna with the cone boobs, lacy fingerless gloves and messy, poofy skirt. Vitali could be a survivor of the apocalypse, if the apocalypse left nothing behind except glitter belts, sparkly pants, and a shirt cobbled together with chest fringe and one lace-up arm.”

84. When in doubt, it helps if the pair is in wholesome attire.

From Skating Fugly: “‘Bye, everyone! Now that we’ve won medals, we’re off to sing in the church choir and attend the potluck luncheon. I could really go for some green bean casserole, Jello-mold fruit salad and chicken pot pies!'”

85. Behold, a Space Age Elvis Impersonator.

I’m sure he’ll be a hit on the space port cantina. Though it’s rumored that the real Elvis was kidnapped by aliens decades ago.

86. For God’s sake, let the poor firebird go!

However, the firebird doesn’t seem to have much on her. While the guy seems like he’s not hungry for chicken either.

87. “Behold, the vestiges of my inner sanctum of darkness.”

I think this is Johnny Weir. Let’s just say if he was straight, I’d ship with Lady Gaga.

88. Did those hands just make a face?

From Skating Fugly: “I believe the concept of this program was that they were a couple meeting at a masquerade, wearing several different masks. (His hands formed one mask for her to wear, her hands formed another, etc.)” Still, the hand stuff is kind of creepy.

89. Bet you’ve never seen a rhinestone skeleton before.

Yes, he’s dressed as a skeleton. And you better be lucky he didn’t use a skull cap.

90. Never thought these two would glide on the ice… from space.

Then again, skating requires a little thing called gravity. Still, doesn’t detract from the spaceness of these tight suits.

91. When you think you’re a colorful peacock, instead of a garish bird from Dr. Seuss.

Okay, that’s pretty hideous. Her makeup doesn’t enhance her look either. More like a scary clown than anything.

92. While he dresses in a classy suit, she’s in a dress that’s, well, unique.

I guess this was inspired by something off the Hunger Games. Or some Frank Gehry architecture. And I don’t mean either as a compliment.

93. You’ll surely be in for a shock with this pair.

Now that’s just plain tackiness there. Great for an electrical show. Ridiculous for a skating competition.

94. They said she skated like a beautiful swan. Though her outfit suggested otherwise.

Her outfit seems like a combination of a swan costume and dominatrix wear. Not a good mesh.

95. Didn’t know there was a dominatrix on the ice.

Would really like to see what kind of moves she’d do with a cat o’ nine tails. Might be quite interesting to see.

96. Hey, it’s Leelu from The Fifth Element.

Though to be fair, I’m not sure if I can see a skating homage to a Bruce Willis sci-fi flick. And the costume doesn’t really convince me.

97. When in doubt, skate in street clothes.

And he’s wearing a tie-dye shirt with pants. Not sure if it stuns, but at least he didn’t waste much money.

98. You know what’s missing here? Space helmets.

I mean if they’re dressed like that they might as well. Also, give them some jet packs so they can fly.

99. You’d almost mistake her for an ice skating Wonder Woman.

Then again, I kind of take that back. Or if Wonder Woman had poor fashion sense with pink velvet and jewels.

100. Say, shouldn’t this routine involve 4 people.

If you want to do a skating tribute to Sergeant Pepper, it shouldn’t just involve the Beatles who are still alive. Otherwise, it just looks ridiculous.

The Hidden World of Mardi Gras Masks

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Another big February holiday that’s coming up is Mardi Gras as Carnival season will soon be in full swing back in Europe. And one of the features in Carnival are these fancy masks. They may give you an impression of what you see in a masquerade ball with dazzling costumes as you might’ve seen in my post on the Venetian Carnival. This year, with Ash Wednesday falling on Valentine’s Day, it’s fair to say that Mardi Gras will fall on the day before. So I might as well get it out of the way if I can. Still, the masks can be as elaborate as the costumes themselves as you can see above. Some have gold. Some have feathers. Some have lovely embroidery. And some even have jewels. But each mask can be beautiful in its own way. So for your reading pleasure, I give you an assortment of unique Mardi Gras masks.

  1. A bejeweled mask always sparkles.

This is a silver and jeweled Mardi Gras mask meant for a wedding. And yes, it probably costs more than some wedding dresses.

2. A jester mask is perfect for a festive occasion.

This one has golden jingles and thread. But the hat is in purple silk.

3. You can always shine in a mask with pearls.

Well, this one mostly has embroidery. But it’s the pearls that really make it shine.

4. A golden mask has a certain kind of elegance.

This one is a metal mask. Looks incredibly delicate. Not sure if I’d want to wear it on my face.

5. Couples’ masks should always be color coordinated.

The golden one with horses is the man’s. The golden one with jewels and embroidery is the woman’s. And I suppose the costumes match as well.

6. A blue mask should come with beats and feathers.

This one has beaded blue flowers, black embroidery, and blue feathers. And you can hold it over your face with a stick.

7. A black jester mask has a certain mystique to it.

Also has some gold on the eyes as well as black fabric with jingles. I guess this one doesn’t come cheap.

8. Sometimes a simple white mask will do.

Has a silk flower and silver trim. Seems as if you can make this one yourself from stuff at a craft store.

9. You can always make a mask sparkle with glitter.

This one has purple and silver glitter all over it. Still, got to love the shape and design.

10. An ornate golden mask should come with a few jewels on it.

This one has an intricate golden design that almost seems antique. Still, love the pearls and jewels on it. Lovely.

11. Perhaps a black mask may suit your fancy.

This one has feathers and jewels with gold embroidery on the edges. And all on black silk.

12. If you don’t like feathers, how about a mask with a butterfly wing?

The butterfly wing is silver with stones encrusted. Still, seems quite delicate to wear.

13. A jester mask can always use a few jingles.

This one is in classic Mardi Gras colors of yellow, green, white, and purple. But it seems more Venetian Carnival than New Orleans.

14. A Mardi Gras masks can come with a special touch.

This one is also in classic Mardi Gras colors. But it has purple flower decoration in silk.

15. Perhaps a mask with a diamond pattern could suit your fancy.

This golden mask has a diamond pattern in black, red, white, and gold. And it has a flower design on the top.

16. A white mask can always use some lace.

This one also contains feathers and beaded flowers. Perfect for a masquerade party.

17. A mask like this comes in all rainbow colors.

And they’re all stacked against each other as if they go together. They also have matching ribbons.

18. A purple mask can always use some fancy feathers.

This one has golden glitter. But the flamboyant purple feathers really make this mask stand out.

19. Speaking of feathers, how about ones in purple and green?

Also has a jewel in the front. Are the feathers fake? Looks like it. But hey, it’s for the festive occasion.

20. Black feathers always give a mask a certain mystique.

This one also has black glitter around the eyes. And it contains a jewel on the top for added elegance.

21. A fancy purple mask should come with a fancy stick.

Bet you can find this one at a masquerade ball. Love the jewel and feathers.

22. A pink mask should come with all the trimmings.

This one comes with a flower, feathers, ribbons, and fringe. And you can hold it with a stick.

23. A jester mask can sometimes intimidate.

This is a joker Venetian mask. And it seems to match the gold diamond one I previously showed. Still, quite exquisite to look at.

24. A green mask can show exquisite taste.

This one seems to be covered in velvet with feathers and ribbons. But it’s nonetheless festive.

25. A joker’s hat can consist of purple triangle strips.

Seems easy enough. Though I think this mask is specially made. Also, the ruff is purple as well.

26. Anyone would die for a mask of encrusted stones.

Though I suspect those aren’t real diamonds. Else it would be very expensive. Still, seems quite delicate.

27. A simple mask can always have some festive decorations.

Yet, from the mask I see here, this one seems like a DIY. Still, love the feathers.

28. A feathered mask should always include one from a peacock.

Well, peacock feathers are always associated with Mardi Gras. But this one is quite festive.

29. For added mystery, you might want a mask of black lace.

Comes with a black feather and red roses. Great for a black lace dress.

30. For more elegance, try a few peacock feathers.

This green one also has purple feathers and ribbons. Nonetheless, it’s quite fancy.

31. Perhaps you might want a small gold hat with your pink mask.

Well, it’s a very tiny hat with a pink feather and flowers. Still, got to love the design.

32. A beaded mask can always stand out at a ball.

Well, this one is encrusted with jewels of all kinds of colors. But you have to admire the detail.

33. With this mask, you can see a golden swan.

Because part of the mask has a swan decoration on it. Seems as graceful as it appears delicate.

34. Couples’ masks should always match.

These are both black and gold. And I guess they go with costumes with similar colors and styles.

35. To stand out, try a mask with long horns.

Yes, this seems quite intimidating and one you can poke someone’s eye out. Still, looks pretty awesome.

36. How about a golden mask trimmed with black?

There are black sequins on the eye slits and borders. But it has a beaded and feathered decoration.

37. Perhaps you might want to wear a black velvet mask with lace.

Well, it has lace along the edges. But it has an ornate strap on the back as well.

38. A black velvet mask could use a few feathers.

This one has golden trim to match. Yet, it’s the feathers that grab my attention.

39. A blue and white mask should include the moon.

Well, it’s blue on one side and white on the other. Yet, the moon on this one is a blue crescent.

40. This blue beak mask comes with some ornate pearls.

Looks quite fancy with silver brocade. Nevertheless, love the pearls on silver chains.

41. A blue and white mask can come with a quality decoration.

This one has blue feathers and a flower. And it’s covered in blue glitter.

42. An ornate black mask can have as many decorations as you want it to.

This one has all kinds of stuff on it like feathers and beads. Not sure how to put this one on.

43. You can shine at carnival with even a partial mask.

This one has a feather decoration with a jewel. Not to mention, some decor on the mask itself.

44. Perhaps you might want to wear a gold and blue mask.

This one is gold with a blue swan in glitter. Includes feathers and a flower.

45. Sparkle at the masquerade ball with this jewel encrusted mask.

This one certainly doesn’t look at all cheap. Wouldn’t be surprised if it costs as much as a car. Comes in a fancy stick.

46. You can always impress in a mask of spectacular feathers.

You might easily wear this one with a fancy dress. Love the gold and jewel decorations, too.

47. This Venetian mask has some small paintings.

I guess this one is an antique museum piece. Still, you have the love the detail.

48. A mask like this is as simple as black and white.

Well, it’s black on one side and white on the other. And each side has its own decorations.

49. Be the envy of the ball with this golden mask of black feathers.

You can see this fancy gold mask has black glitter around the eyes. But the feathers really show.

50. A golden mask should come with golden roses.

Comes with golden tulle under the golden roses. Still, it’s quite lovely.

51. Capture that mysterious elegance with a mask of black metal.

Has jewels at the top. Nonetheless, I’m sure people will recognize you wearing this one.

52. Jewels can even sparkle among gold embroidery.

Well, it’s quite fancy and ornate. Still, got to love the flowery designs.

53. Perhaps you’d want a small butterfly on your mask.

Well, it’s a fancy mask with a small metal butterfly. Looks quite delicate even with the black stone.

54. A red mask should always be fancy.

This one has jewels at the center. Touched off with a feather, bow, and jewel piece.

55. A purple mask should come with a matching purple feather.

This one is covered with glitter and jewels. Still, love the feathers and jewels on the side.

56. A black lace mask with a jewel can cause quite a sensation.

This one has a bow and jewel at the side. Still, this is quite a magnificent sight to see.

57. Sometimes all a mask needs is a jewel on top.

This one has a jewel on top along with smaller stones around the eyes. Heightens the mystique if you get my drift.

58. You might prefer a black metal mask encrusted with pink jewels.

Well, its quite fancy as it’s delicate. Not sure if I’d want to wear it though.

59. Perhaps you might want a jester mask with a velvet hat.

The hat is mostly purple and green with gold embroidery. Also has glitter on the eyes and a gold ball on the nose.

60. How about a Mardi Gras masks of diamonds?

The diamonds are yellow, green, and purple. Has a plume on the side with those same colors.

61. There’s a certain elegance with a macramé gold mask of jewels.

This one is quite fancy. Though the jewels really shimmer on this mask. Love it.

62. Perhaps you might want this beaky mask of diamonds?

This one has gold on the eyes. Nevertheless, it looks kind of creepy to me.

63. You’d almost think this mask brings music to the ears.

This one is white with golden trimmed eyes and gold and white rope on the edge. Still, it’s quite lovely.

64. You’d almost think this mask was meant for the Queen of Diamonds.

Well, it has quite a regal disposition. But you have to love the pattern and design.

65. How about a white mask with a green cloth flower?

This one has gold trim on the edges and eyes. Yet, I really like the decoration on the side.

66. A mysterious black velvet mask should come with some beaded trim.

This one has jewels and bead decorations. Great for any little black dress at a masquerade.

67. A fancy purple mask should always impress with feathers.

This one has yellow and purple ribbons. Also, includes yellow trim around the eyes and edge. So pretty.

68. With this mask, you’ll be shrouded in mystery.

This gold one includes black and gold glitter. Love the sparkly golden rope edging. And it comes on a stick.

69. Sometimes a simple flower is all you need.

This one has gold embroidery on the eyes and edges. And the purple flower is touched with a purple ribbon.

70. You can make a spectacular entrance with this black feathered mask.

This one has jewels around the face. And it has a black stone on the top above the nose.

71. You might see a tune on this black long nosed mask.

Well, along the eyes at least. Still, you have to love the gold decorative detail on it.

72. Perhaps you might want a mask of black feathers and beads.

Not sure what to make about the feathers. Yet, I do like the black sequins around the eyes.

73. A black mask can always use some purple sparkle.

Got to love the glitter on this one. Really brings out the eyes. There’s also purple trim along the edges, too.

74. How about a pink mask with black lace?

This one has black trim around the eyes and edges. Still, love the black jeweled decoration on the sides.

75. You’d almost think this mask was made for a Spanish tango.

This is a red mask covered in black lace. Includes a red rose and feather. Lovely.

76. You’d almost swear these jewels shimmer like the sun.

This one has purple stones on it as far as I can tell. Love the sparkle.

77. Perhaps a sinister jester mask may suit your fancy.

Well, it certainly seems sinister to me. Still, it has plenty of jingles and shiny cloth for the hat and collar.

78. How about a mask with a feather headdress?

Well, this one has black and blue feathers around the face. Quite exquisite if you ask me.

79. A bright blue mask should be brightly decorated.

Well, it’s a feather swan mask anyway. Comes with a blue feather and all kinds of ribbons.

80. If you want to look like Big Bird’s evil twin, this hooked nose mask is for you.

Well, it’s quite ornate with gold covering part of it. Love the detail. Great if you dressed as a plague doctor.

81. A fancy black mask should come with feathers and flowers.

This one has a black swan in glitter on it. Yet, you have to love the feather and rose on the side.

82. A black and gold mask can always impress.

This one has black and gold flowers and black lace edging. Not sure what the branches are for though.

83. A red and gold mask like can brighten a festive occasion.

Has jewels on the top. Includes red tassels on each side. So pretty.

84. Everyone will remember this blue mask with a black swan.

This one is quite ornate that you have to admire the style. Love the decoration on the other

85. You can easily flutter in this black metal butterfly mask.

Well, it’s not entirely black. But you have to like the beautiful design. Not sure if I’d like to wear it though.

86. A fancy red mask should be decked in jewels and lace.

This is quite lovely. Great with a scarlet dress if you want to be that scarlet woman.

87. How about a red mask with feathers and a swan?

Yes, the red and black feathers are quite high. And the swan is made in gold.

88. It really fans out on a mask like this.

This purple one with quite ornate. Love the lace trim and purple tassel.

89. This jester mask contains many tarot pictures.

Indeed, since it makes the mask seem fancy. Though I’m not really sure what to make of it.

90. You’ll find plenty of fans unfolded on a pink mask like this.

This one has lace on the fan edges as well. Still, not sure if I could hold it in front of my face.

91. Perhaps you might want to wear this mask of encrusted stones.

This one has beads on the edges. Kind of shimmers in the right light. Love it.

92. You can always wow a crowd with this elaborate golden mask.

Indeed, it is quite ornate. Love the gold designs and the beaded fringe.

93. How about the tall feathers on this pink mask?

Well, that’s kind of an understatement. Still, if you can wear this at a party, I’d be impressed.

94. A red flower always accentuates a shiny red mask.

This one has a jewel in the center. Got to love the flowers in this as well.

95. A scarlet mask like this can always wow a crowd.

This one has red flowers and feathers. And yes, it’ll go well with any red dress.

96. How about a mask that brings in the light?

Sure it looks pretty tacky. But putting lights on a mask is quite an original idea.

97. You’ll find plenty of jewels on this Mardi Gras mask.

This one is in white with gold and black glitter as well. But it’s the jewels that truly shine.

98. A blue mask has to have gold and jewels to dazzle.

This one is quite fancy. Love the gold design and the encrusted jewels around the eyes.

99. You can’t go wrong wearing a gold mask with feathers.

This one has some lace on the edge. But the feathers are quite a sight.

100. Perhaps a golden mask would shimmer with a rose.

This one has golden branches with berries along with leaves. But it’s nonetheless magnificent.

Rockin’ Around the Christmas Tree at the Ugly Sweater Party (Fourth Edition)

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A perennial favorite on my blog during the holidays seems to be my ugly Christmas sweater posts. Of course, back in the day to receive one of these as a gift was a monumental embarrassment. Today, you’ll find plenty of people putting on these tacky apparel for Christmas parties. And sometimes the tackier the better. For instance, take what I’m wearing above. The sweater and the headband are actually my mom’s which she wore for a Christmas party at work. Because I don’t really have anything this tacky in my closet. And today, I’ll surely bring you more since you’ll find plenty on Pinterest or any online search. So for your reading pleasure today, I give you another assortment of spectacular ugly Christmas sweaters. Enjoy. By the way, some of these might not be safe for work.

  1. A holiday sweater like this makes you a favorite customer at Starbucks.

Funny, that the cup isn’t red. Perhaps someone didn’t want to piss off conservatives.

2. A Christmas tree sweater should have all kinds of bows.

Well, it kind of looks more like a dress. But you have to love the large star on it.

3. How about a mounted reindeer with lights?

This is kind of sick. But to be honest, it’s kind of hilarious. Don’t worry, the deer head is plush.

4. For Christmas south of the border, I suppose this poncho will do.

Sure it might fall under cultural appropriation. But since it’s a tacky rendition of “Feliz Navidad,” I’ll take it.

5. Hipsters might adore this reindeer top.

Because a sweater with anything else is so mainstream. And yes, you have the hipster glasses near the red nose.

6. As we all know, you can’t resist the presents under the tree.

Oh, she’s supposed to be dressed as the tree cover. Though that’s an awfully small tree on her head.

7. As we all know, Santa can’t be Santa without his long white beard.

Well, this Santa has a pretty long beard akin to Albus Dumbledore. Though you normally don’t see Santas with that kind of facial hair.

8. With this sweater, you’re always Walken in the winter wonderland.

And yes, this depicts Christopher Walken. You know him from hit movies and his distinctive voice.

9. Instead of a Christmas sweater, how about go with a Christmas skirt?

Okay, this is more cute than ugly. But still, it kind of counts since it’s in a similar style.

10. “Rudolph with your nose so bright, won’t you drive my sleigh tonight?”

As you can see, this sweater lights up. And yes, so does Rudolph’s nose.

11. “Fra-geel-lay. Must be Italian.”

After all, you can’t have an ugly Christmas sweater post without including one with the leg lamp. A tacky Christmas decoration that you’d ever see.

12. A mantle at the fireplace and a deer head are always great for couples.

Yes, it looks like someone killed Rudolph. But think how well it goes with the stockings hung at the fireplace.

13. Frosty can always make a great drinking buddy during the holidays.

Yes, that’s Frosty the Snowman with a beer can. And yes, he’s becoming a bad influence to children.

14. You’ll always need a warm fire when the stockings are hung by the chimney with care.

Another couple’s idea, apparently. Though the woman can wear hers all year long. The guy, not so much.

15. No Christmas sweater can do without some fuzzy fur trim.

Well, it has feathers on the cuffs and bottom. But it includes a hood with all kinds of tacky trimmings.

16. A Christmas vest should always include some tinsel.

Comes with matching candy canes, snowflakes, and green bows. Perfect for any Christmas party.

17. Seems like Grandma got run over by a reindeer.

Don’t worry, she’s fine. Just had to spend some time in the hospital. But the tracks are nonetheless permanent.

18. Apparently, the Abominable Snowman can spit out candy.

Okay, maybe not. But this is nevertheless hilarious, especially if you add tinsel.

19. Now your Christmas sweater can have its own snow globe.

Okay, this is in plastic. But it will certainly be a hit at any Christmas party you go to.

20. Seems like the deer like to frolic during the holiday season.

Okay, they’re just humping each other. So best not to wear this one in front of the kids.

21. For a more refined occasion, you might want to wear this evening gown.

Yes, this is an ugly Christmas dress. Not something you’d wear to a fancy dress ball. But perfect for an office party, sort of.

22. A Christmas suit is great for all yuletide occasions.

I see the guy wearing the Santa hat with his tacky suit. Sure it’s ridiculous but fun.

23. A sweater like this will make you a darling at any office bash.

Even has the words “Ugly” on it. Also includes plenty of pom poms and tinsel.

24. A present dress should always include a bow and tinsel.

All these ladies wear large red bows for their outfits. And yes, gift bows are a great way to decorate anything.

25. If you like A Christmas Story, than this is the holiday sweater for you.

Consists of Ralphie in his pink bunny outfit and the leg lamp. And all in felt, too.

26. Of course, no Christmas can be without a couple of ball ornaments.

Okay, this guy’s sweater is kind of risqué. Definitely not to be worn around children.

27. No ugly sweater can ever have too much tinsel.

Actually, you can’t have too much of anything on these sweaters. But she certainly rocks in her tinsel top with silver snowflakes.

28. As Santa says, “Ho, ho, ho.”

Though that phrase can also be used as an inside joke. But I like how the Santas are positioned here. So clever.

29. Sometimes a sweater can use a little bit of everything.

This one has a snowman with tinsel, garlands, bows, jingles, and baubles. Certainly stands out among many.

30. Nothing makes Christmas than some holiday Whoville fashions.

These girls even have the Who hair. Nevertheless, perfect for any day out in Whoville.

31. Green feathers always go well with any candy cane striped shirt.

This one even lights up as you can see. Though I’d more anticipate more decor relating to the Grinch on this.

32. A sweater like this is perfect for any family Christmas.

Though you wouldn’t want to spend Christmas with the Griswolds. Or anywhere near them for that matter.

33. You can always add more to any Christmas sweater.

His even has a deer in a stocking along with lights. But he doesn’t have a care in the world.

34. Perhaps a more layered look may suit your fancy.

This get up is essentially covered in bows. Yet, it has plenty of other stuff on it, too.

35. A Christmas dress can be just as snazzy.

This one has a tree on the skirt and bows on the top. All on black velvet, apparently.

36. Indeed, the North Pole elves have their own kind of entertainment.

This one has Barbie on a stripper pole as the elves shower her with cash. Ho, ho, ho indeed.

37. A cardigan can always use some tinsel and tulle.

But don’t forget to put on a few decorations as well. Certainly flashy for any festive occasion.

38. Guess you have an idea on what she has in her stocking.

Though looking at her you can’t help but be amazed on how she fit an entire bottle in her stocking. Nevertheless, this is pretty funny.

39. I’m sure you can have plenty of jingling on this sweater.

Includes spring tits, lights, and bells on the nipples. So you’d better not wear it in front of your family.

40. Christmas heels should come with a snowflake or two.

Well, these are red heels covered with green glitter, too. The snowflake is the finishing touch.

41. A Christmas sweater can come in all sizes.

And I see a couple of these are child size. But all certainly have their own bows for the tree.

42. Perhaps you might want your holiday sweater gift wrapped.

Though this one has a gold bow on it. Though the wrapping is in blue, red, and green.

43. You can make your own reindeer with a simple sock.

Well, that’s kind of ingenious. The antlers are quite charming as well.

44. A festive sweater should always jingle.

And if you live in Whoville, then this is the perfect Christmas sweater for you. Should go great with Cindy Lou Who hair.

45. May your Christmas crash and Bern.

But in a good way, since this has Bernie Sanders. Yes, I like his ideas. But I don’t think he would’ve won.

46. A green holiday suit always makes you a hit outdoors.

Yes, it’s certainly tacky indeed. Guaranteed to make people’s eyes sour with all the trimmings.

47. Seems like rocking in his yuletide get up.

Yes, that vest is certainly ugly. But those pants are just atrocious.

48. How many of those bears could you fit in that stocking?

The title on this one reads, “It’s a sad day for the bears.” Not sure exactly what that means per se.

49. There’s nothing more badass than Santa fighting a shark.

And yes, Santa really gives the shark a punch. Though Santa’s not known to be buff at all. In fact, on the contrary.

50. For Breaking Bad fans dreaming of a White Christmas, look no further.

Though to be fair, Walter White isn’t the kind of guy you’d want to spend Christmas with. Mostly because he’s freaking insane.

51. I call this one, “The Pizza Lover’s Deluxe.”

Because nothing brings cheer during the holidays than the great taste of pizza. Okay, maybe not. But this is pretty funny.

52. I’m sure this guy will eventually shoot his eye out.

It depicts the BB gun Ralphie wanted for Christmas. And yes, he does hurt himself using it.

53. Apparently, Santa might need a new belt or suspenders.

Since you can see his butt crack. Hopefully, nobody but the reindeer saw that. I hope.

54. I give you the Human Santapede.

Get it? Because it’s a human centipede and it’s for Christmas. Yeah, I know it’s disgusting.

55. You’d find this sweater delightfully Grinchy.

This one has bows on the sleeves as well as a plush Grinch in the center. And yes, there’s some tinsel for the trim.

56. After all, everyone loves a plush reindeer.

Well, it more or less resembles a moose with a wreath. But this woman’s not complaining.

57. How about a Christmas sweater for two?

This one is a naughty and nice shirt for couples. Though I wouldn’t want to have this kind of closeness at a holiday party. Think outfits should be separate.

58. If you’re a stoner, this holiday sweater may be for you.

It’s a pot gingerbread shirt. An unsurprisingly, it contains rose of gingerbread.

59. Care to look inside the windows.