Now as you know, the Hunger Games is about a televised teenage fight to the death. And for many of the districts, it’s a punishment they’re forced to watch. But for the Capitol, it’s simply high quality entertainment with action, thrills, and drama. Kind of like a reality show if you like to view it that way, albeit a very lethal one. Of course, I couldn’t do Hunger Games musical parodies without including the Hunger Games Master of Ceremonies himself, Caesar Flickerman. Now he’s basically the epitome of every daytime talk show host complete with his ever dazzling white teeth. No one knows how old he is but it’s pretty clear he’s fairly up there thanks to the Capitol trend of plastic surgery. He’s also known for changing his hair color every year for the Games as well. In the first book, his hair is blue. In the second, it’s lavender. Not to mention, he also interviews the tributes as well and tries to calm their public speaking fears so they don’t lose sponsors.

For his obnoxious personality, I decided to go with “Cabaret” from the eponymous musical. Now this song is played near the end, where everything is basically going to shit. I mean the two leads break up and it’s imminent that Germany is changing for the worse (I mean it takes place in the early 1930s so what do you expect?). For the Hunger Games version, I have Caesar Flickerman talk about how he interviews tributes and how the Capitol views them as a festive occasion. Yes, it’s rather disturbing but c’mon, the Capitol’s views on the Hunger Games are, for God’s sake. Also, Caesar Flickerman needs his own song.

 

“Come See the Hunger Games”

Sung by Caesar Flickerman

 

Claudius Templesmith:

Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls

Welcome to the 74^th Hunger Games

And now, once again, Caesar Flickerman

 

Caesar Flickerman:

What good is sittin’ alone in your room

Come see some poor teens slay,

Come see the Hunger Games, old chum

Come see the Hunger Games.

Put down that knittin’, the book and the broom

Time for a holiday,

Come see the Hunger Games, old chum

Come see the Hunger Games.

Come see the tributes, come see the parade

Come see the slaughter, start celebratin’

Right this way, the arena’s watin’

No use permittin’ a prophet of doom

Wipe every smile away, yes

Come see the Hunger Games, old chum

Come see the Hunger Games!

 

I am your dear emcee known as Caesar

I’ve dyed my hair a different color each year

I try to keep my interviews without a somber

So tributes won’t flub and lose their sponsors

Of course, I try to give each one a chance of winning

Despite nearly half are slaughtered at the beginning

 

But what’s in the arena is such a sight to see

That you never know which tribute leaves

I wonder who will come out of there this year

But perhaps we must begin the Games from here

What good is sittin’ alone in your room

Come see some poor teens slay,

Come see the Hunger Games, old chum

Come see the Hunger Games

Put down that knittin’, the book and the broom

Time for a holiday,

Come see the Hunger Games, old chum

So come see the Hunger Games.

And as for me,

As for me,

I’m going to meet these young teens

And hope to set their minds at ease

Start by admitting go cradle to tomb

Isn’t that a longer stay

What good is sittin’ alone in your room

Come see some poor teens slay, yes

Come see the Hunger Games, old chum

It’s only the Hunger Games, old chum

And I love the Hunger Games!

Yes, come see the Hunger Games, old chum

Only the Hunger Games, old chum

So come see the Hunger Games