Poor, poor Haymitch. Now this guy can’t catch a break. I mean the guy has been through so much shit in his life that his drinking problem is completely understandable. At 15, he was reaped for the 2nd Quarter Quell where he had 47 to 1 odds as well as killed fellow tributes as well as witnessed some of their deaths. Luckily he won, but his way of winning inflamed Snow so much that he had Haymitch’s mother, brother, and girlfriend killed 2 weeks after his victory. And to make matters worst, prior to the first book, Haymitch had to mentor District 12 tributes for practically all his late teens and his adult life. And before Katniss and Peeta burst onto the scene, no tribute under Haymitch’s care has survived the Hunger Games. Considering this is the Hunger Games, it’s probably safe to say that these 46 tributes died through no fault of his own. I mean it’s a fight to the death for God’s sake.
Now I thought parodying “Holding Out for a Hero” would make a great song for Haymitch who really needs something to be happy about. The original song is from Footloose, expressing longing for a hero. It’s probably romantic in nature and usually addresses a guy. In the Hunger Games version, it’s Haymitch singing to Katniss and Peeta on how he really needs a break in his life.
“Holding Out for a Hero” (Hunger Games Edition)
Sung by Haymitch Abernathy
Why have all my tributes gone
And why they went like sods?
Where’s my street-wise protégé
To fight the rising odds?
Isn’t anyone from 12 who’s a very savvy teen?
Late at night I toss and I turn and I dream of what I need
[Chorus:]
I need a hero
I’m holding out for a hero ’til the end of the fight
They gotta be strong
And they gotta be fast
And they gotta get out there alive
I need a hero
I’m holding out for a hero ’til the end of the fight
They gotta be smart
And it’s gotta be soon
And they gotta be larger than life
As the Games approaches
While I try to do my best
So I won’t have to watch both of you
Having a weapon lodged in your chest
Trapped in the arena and up against Careers
It’s gonna take some miracle to get you out of there
[Chorus:]
I need a hero
I’m holding out for a hero ’til the end of the fight
They gotta be strong
And they gotta be fast
And they gotta get out there alive
I need a hero
I’m holding out for a hero ’til the end of the fight
They gotta be smart
And it’s gotta be soon
And they gotta be larger than life
Out in the arena there’s every danger above
When everything’s working against you
I will be following the Games at some place
Watching you
Get out of the Cornucopia fight ASAP
For it’s a quick way to die
If you want my advice
Just try to stay out alive
[Chorus:]
I need a hero
I’m holding out for a hero ’til the end of the fight
They gotta be strong
And they gotta be fast
And they gotta get out there alive
I need a hero
I’m holding out for a hero ’til the end of the fight
They gotta be smart
And it’s gotta be soon
And they gotta be larger than life
That’s really good!