Now as in any great musical, you’d have to have a romantic angle. Of course, in the Hunger Games, Katniss doesn’t seem to have much choice in her love life. In fact, if she wanted it, she wouldn’t want to marry and have kids mostly because she doesn’t want to see anyone she loves reaped for the Hunger Games when they’re teenagers. And that did happen to her little sister Prim which is why she volunteered as a tribute. However, Peeta confesses his love for her on national television in order to save her life and under Haymitch’s approval. So this leads to Katniss having to pretend to be in love with him even though they haven’t really interacted much save for the time when he gave her bread and that she’s not sure of her feelings. Not to mention, she thinks Peeta is faking it as well and it doesn’t take until the end when she realizes he wasn’t. In fact, he thought she actually liked him, especially when she was willing to spare his life when she came up with the idea of a joint suicide. And at the end of the first book he’s naturally heartbroken. However, in Catching Fire, Katniss and Peeta now have to fake their romance again for the cameras as well as get married. And they willfully go along with it. Nevertheless, while Peeta certainly loves Katniss and knows it, it’s becomes increasingly apparent that Katniss might actually love Peeta and may not realize it until it’s too late.

Now for the song explaining Katniss’s feelings, I used “I Don’t Know How to Love Him” from Jesus Christ Superstar. The original depicts Mary Magdalene sorting out her feelings for Jesus, a man who while friendly to her, probably has bigger things on his mind like his impending death. So let’s just say Jesus basically has absolutely no time for an intimate relationship at the moment. But that doesn’t mean Mary Magdalene could have romantic feelings for him even if they don’t go reciprocated. In the Hunger Games version, Katniss has spent considerable time with Peeta to the point she basically had a tough time sleeping without him holding her in his arms. Now if that doesn’t give me indication that she’s clearly interested in him, I don’t know what does. However, she’s not the kind of person who’s aware of her own feelings since she spent so much time hunting and providing for her family. Nevertheless, this song fits and I didn’t change the words much.

 

“I Don’t Know How to Love Him” (Hunger Games Edition)

Sung by Katniss Everdeen

 

I don’t know how to love him,

What to do, how to move him.

I’ve been changed, yes, really changed.

In these past few months when I’ve seen myself

I seem like someone else.

 

I don’t know how to take this

I don’t see why he moves me.

I’m a fraud, I’m just a fraud.

And I’ve sworn off men before.

But now I’ve broke his heart

I’m not so sure.

 

Should I bring him down? Should I scream and shout?

Should I speak of love – let my feelings out?

I never thought I’d come to this – what’s it all about?

 

Don’t you think it’s rather funny

I should be in this position?

I’m the one who’s always been

So calm, so cool, no lover’s fool

Surviving on my own.

He scares me so.

 

I never thought I’d come to this – what’s it all about

 

Yet, now he’s said he loves me

I am lost, I am frightened.

I can’t cope, I just can’t cope.

I’ve turned my head, I’ve backed away,

Not sure I’d want to know –

He scares me so.

I want him so.

I love him so.

Of course, I couldn’t do a Hunger Games parody without including Gale Hawthorne. As you probably know Gale is Katniss’s childhood friend and hunting partner. As I said before, Katniss just views him more as a big brother/rebound guy but he’s quite handsome as you can see since he’s played by a Hemsworth. And he doesn’t really do much in the first two books besides poaching to help his family, getting brutally whipped, kissing Katniss, and saving 10% of District 12’s population during the bombings. And in Mockingjay, he distinguishes himself as a badass and intelligent military commander and soldier. However, unlike Katniss and Peeta, Gale has had no experience with direct violence prior to the Second Rebellion, nor has he been forced to kill other people or knows that everyone in the Capitol isn’t a monster. And the fact his hunting instincts lead to him depersonalize people. His impulse to rebel is driven by his hatred for the Capitol and the Hunger Games as well as his desire for revenge and victory at whatever the costs. Now Katniss and he may be similar in personality. But Katniss wonders whether Gale is going too far, particularly when he and Beetee create a bomb that plays on human sympathies by exploding and killing the rescuers. And it’s one of a few moments that drives him and Katniss apart.

Perhaps a good parody I thought for Gale would be ripping off from Les Miserables with “Stars.” Now the original is sung by Javert and basically sums up his philosophy that he is doing the Lord’s work by futile pursuit of Jean Valjean. And he vows that he won’t rest until Jean Valjean whom he thinks is damned for violating parole and stealing bread despite that most cops would have bigger things to worry about. I mean the guy really should be focused on catching other criminals. In the Hunger Games version, I have Gale swear to not stop with the rebellion until there’s victory when President Snow is as good as dead. Nevertheless, it’s a beautiful song despite Russell Crowe ruining it in the movie.

 

“Stars” (Hunger Games Edition)

Sung by Gale Hawthorne

 

There, out in the Capitol

A man with a white rose

Smelling of blood

Fallen from grace

All be my witness

I never shall yield

Till we come face to face

Till we come face to face

 

He knows his way in the dark

Mine is the way of the war

And if we shall win this at whatever the costs

We’ll have our reward

And if some fall

Like District 12 fell

It’s not

Our fault!

 

Stars

In your multitudes

Scarce to be counted

Filling the darkness

With order and light

You are the sentinels

Silent and sure

Keeping watch in the night

Keeping watch in the night

 

You know your place in the sky

You hold your course and your aim

And each in your season

Returns and returns

And is always the same

And if you fall as District 12 fell

You fall in flame!

 

And so it must be for so it is written

I’ll say down with the Capitol

And those who stand within our bombs

Must pay the price!

 

Now let me find him

That I may see him

Deader than dead

I will never rest

Till then

This I swear

This I swear by the stars!

Note: Since this pertains to District 13, there might be spoilers for those who haven’t seen the movies up to Mockingjay Part 1 or read the books. Just to warn you.

As I’ve said before District 13 was once thought to be destroyed prior to Mockingjay but managed to survive and move underground due to the doctrine of Mutually Assured Destruction. Or in other words, “if you nuke us, we nuke you” kind of thing that might bring upon an apocalypse of sorts. Nevertheless, District 13 specializes in nuclear technology, graphite, and weapons. And while it’s a center of rebellion and refuge as well as extremely welcoming to almost anyone, it’s not a fun place to live. Unfortunately for Katniss and anyone who’s survived the District 12 bombing (which was less than 900 of its residents), they don’t have anywhere else to go. Still, living there is like being on an underground military base, but way less fun and far more restrictive. Yet, on the bright side, they have free education up to 8th grade and all refugees can become citizens. But as far as the good stuff goes. When citizens wake up, they’re given a temporary tattoo for their personalized schedule for the day they must abide and must wear tracking bracelets on wrists. They’re also thrifty and ration food carefully that even a small thing wasted is heavily frowned upon and even minor theft can be punished by detention and/or torture. Oh, and everyone wears the same gray uniforms and sleeps in identical living quarters. Not to mention, it requires everyone to train for the military from age 14 on and everyone is addressed as “Soldier.” And they don’t allow pets either.

For a good parody on life in District 13 would be to rip off from “Knights of the Round Table” from Monty Python and the Holy Grail. Now the original was about how Camelot was such a great but silly place to live where they do routines and chorus scenes with footwork impeccable. Living in District 13 is nothing of the sort and I can tell they don’t eat ham and jam and spam a lot. Because they would be punished for it. But I think it would be funny to describe the miserable life of District 13 than in an upbeat and funny song. Because let’s just say their lives are so regimented and dull that they need something to entertain themselves.

 

“District 13’s People”

Sung by District 13

 

Katniss: Thirteen.

Finnick: Thirteen.

Haymitch: Thirteen.

Beetee: It’s only a model.

Plutarch: Victors, I bid you welcome to your new home. Let us ride to District 13.

 

District 13:

We’re District 13’s people

We work when e’er we’re able

We’ve strict routines, no chorus scenes

With tracking impeccable

We dine well here in 13

We eat our meals rationed carefully

 

We’re District 13’s people

Our force is so formidable

Though many times we get assigns

That are quite unbearable

We’re welcoming in 13

We’re really big fans of refugees

 

In war we’re tough and able

Quite indefatigable

We’re not so heft with waste and theft

And torture the uncontrollable

It’s a busy life in 13

I have to clean up the latrine

 

Katniss: Well, on second thought,

Let’s not go to 13, it is a silly place.

Gale: Sorry, but there’s no District 12 left.

Now like him or not, I tend to think that Peeta Mellark is one of the more underrated characters in the Hunger Games trilogy. Yes, wilderness survival skills aren’t his strong suit as you see when he’s in the Hunger Games. Yet, you can say the same for the Careers and some of the other tributes like Foxface and a girl from District 3. Nevertheless, while Peeta might be seen as helpless when he’s with Katniss during the Games, we should know that he fought out the Cornucopia bloodbath (where a significant number of tributes get killed), allied with the Careers to keep them from Katniss’s back, and telling the tracker jacker stung Katniss to run for it as he fights Cato (who’s Katniss’s biggest competition), which resulted in him getting stabbed in the leg. However, he’s not as worthless as he looks. Yes, you might think that his crush on Katniss since they were 5 might be a bit obsessive. Still, we have to understand that Peeta spent most of the first book in an utterly hopeless situation. I mean he’s basically forced to take part in an event he’s mentally unsuited for and knows it. And to make matters worse, he’s being forced to kill the girl he loves and took a beating from his mom for just to give her two loaves of burned bread. He knows he can’t kill her to save himself as well as that she stands a better chance to survive than he does. So Peeta decides to accept his fate so he can die on his own terms and make the most of his time left to help Katniss. Thus, Peeta confessed his love for Katniss on national television since it will appeal to the audience and get her sponsors to survive as well as get it out in the open because he figures that he doesn’t have long to live anyway. Let’s just say, he got more than he bargained for from that.

Now for a parody song for him, I took from “Everything’s Alright” from Jesus Christ Superstar. It’s the one where Mary Magdalene is telling Jesus to take some time off and get some rest. Yes, she might seem to fill a love interest role for Jesus but in the world of musical theater, it’s highly unusual for a male protagonist under 40 to not have a love interest or at least someone who’s romantically interested in him. Oh, and you can’t have a musical without a leading lady either. So if you’re doing a musical about Jesus, Mary Magdalene is probably your best bet even if the Lamb of God has too many pressing issues on his mind to even think about romance. For the Hunger Games version, I have it take place in Catching Fire around some time after the Victory Tour. Here Peeta is trying to calm Katniss down since she’s been waking up screaming from nightmares by holding her while she sleeps (though to keep it PG-13, there’s no sex). This soon becomes a nightly routine up until the Quarter Quell. As the book goes on, it becomes rather apparent that Katniss develops feelings for him. However, it’s closer to the end when she realizes it.

 

“Everything’s Alright” (Hunger Games Edition)

Mostly sung by Peeta Mellark (with some verses by Katniss Everdeen and Gale Hawthorne)

 

[Peeta Mellark:]

Try not to get worried

Try not to turn on to

Problems that upset you

(oh) Don’t you know

Everything’s alright

Yes everything’s fine

And I want you to sleep well tonight

Let Panem go without you tonight

If we try

We’ll get by

So forget all about us tonight

 

[Prep Team:]

Everything’s all right

Yes everything’s all right yes

 

[Peeta Mellark:]

Sleep and I shall soothe you

Calm you and be with you

Hold you within my arms

(oh) Then you’ll feel

Everything’s all right

Yes everything’s fine

My bread is warm and my buns are sweet

For the fire in your head and feet

Close your eyes

Close your eyes

And relax

Think of nothing tonight

 

[Prep Team:]

Everything’s all right

Yes everything’s all right yes

 

[Gale Hawthorne:]

Down with those rich snobs

Decadent and so heartless

Forcing our peers to fight to the death

Now that you’ve won

They think they now own you

And threaten us if you don’t conform

Everyone’s so hungry

Everyone’s all starving

We matter more

Than their feet and hair

 

[Peeta Mellark:]

Try not to get worried

Try not to turn on to

Problems that upset you

(oh) Don’t you know

Everything’s all right

Yes everything’s fine

And I want you to sleep well tonight

Let Panem go without you tonight

If we try

We’ll get by

So forget all about us tonight

 

[Prep Team:]

Everything’s all right

Yes everything’s all right yes

 

[Katniss Everdeen:]

For years I’ve been poaching

To get some wild critters

To save my folks from their lot

Now there are uprisings

Erupting all over

And Snow wants me to tie the knot!

Why

Does he blame me?

What

Does he want from me?

Quell dissent

I can no longer do that

Now I’m screwed

 

[Peeta Mellark:]

Sleep and I shall soothe you

Calm you and be with you

Hold you within my arms

(oh) then you’ll feel

Everything’s alright

Yes everything’s fine

My bread is warm and my buns are sweet

For the fire in your head and feet

Close your eyes

Close your eyes

And relax

Think of nothing tonight

 

[Prep Team & Peeta Mellark:]

Close your eyes

Close your eyes

And relax

Think of nothing tonight

 

[Gale Hawthorne and Katniss Everdeen:]

Everything’s all right

Yes everything’s all right yes