A Plea for Saving the Children’s Health Insurance Program

In 1993, the late Governor Robert P. Casey Sr. signed the first Children’s Health Insurance Program into law in Pennsylvania, which later served as a model for the federal program Congress would enact a few years later. Westmoreland County’s then State Senator Allen Kukovich was instrumental in enacting this state program that he’s considered its founding father. Since 1997, the Children’s Health Insurance Program has provided matching funds to states for health insurance to children from families who can’t afford marketplace or employer insurance but earn too much to qualify for Medicaid. Sponsored by the late Senator Ted Kennedy in partnership with Senator Orrin Hatch and supported by then First Lady Hillary Rodham Clinton, it was the largest expansion of taxpayer-funded health insurance coverage for children in the United States President Lyndon B. Johnson established Medicaid in 1968. Today CHIP is a critical government program providing health insurance for nearly 9 million low-income kids as well as remains one of our nation’s most vitally important and widely supported programs. Thanks to CHIP, the United States enjoys has the highest rate of insured children in our nation’s history at over 95%.

On September 30, 2017, CHIP expired when lawmakers couldn’t agree on a 5-year reauthorization of the program. This puts millions of kids at risk of becoming uninsured, and in some cases, being denied the critical care they need to survive and thrive. Though states have remaining funds to keep their programs running for varying lengths of time, it’s an administrative nightmare for states that can’t plan ahead. But they may have to prepare for a possible shutdown of their CHIP programs well before they run out of money. As Alabama CHIP director noted, “This whole situation is causing chaos. We are causing confusion to families, stress and turmoil.” On December 15, Alabama officials were forced to announce that they’d stop taking new enrollees on New Year’s Day and the 84,000 kids (1/8 of the state’s children) currently in the program could lose coverage February 1. In my home state of Pennsylvania, the families of 174,000 children currently enrolled in CHIP are about to receive notices informing them that their insurance may be canceled while Colorado already has sent a letter back in September that their CHIP coverage will be canceled by the end of January. Utah has already submitted a request to the federal government to freeze their program’s enrollment. Some states such as Nevada, already have laws that force officials to freeze enrollment if federal funds decrease at all. By the start of 2018, more than half the states are projected to have used up their available funding. Across the country, families depending on CHIP are running out of time.

On December 21, 2017, Congress passed short-term legislation to fund CHIP until the end of March, which is said to cover an estimated 1.9 million children across 24 states and Washington D.C. which stood to lose coverage care like doctor visits and hospitalizations in January. But this temporary relief still leaves CHIP and the families who rely on it in uncertainty since as of December of 2017, there is no long-term fix in sight. As George Washington University professor Sara Rosenbaum told Bloomberg, “You can’t run an insurance program this way.” Essentially, lawmakers are forcing health officials running the program, “to go month-to-month.” Still, even with these short-term fixes, “there will be relief that the funding has been extended, but it will be combined with a lot of anxiety,” as Kaiser Family Foundation executive vice president Diane Rowland claimed.

Health coverage is critical for children to get a healthy start in life and high coverage rates mean more children have an opportunity to meet their potential. It is well understood that covering kids is an investment in our future since a child’s health, school performance, and future success are all linked. So it goes without saying that unhealthy children are at higher risk for school problems, failing, or dropping out. Children who have health insurance through CHIP or Medicaid have better access to healthcare and do better in school than their uninsured counterparts. And better school performance provides a foundation for future success in life. Thus, investing in children’s coverage programs means investing in not only children’s health, but also academic success and success later in life. CHIP is especially important to children with special health needs, children of color, children in working families, and children in rural communities. Without CHIP, there would be more uninsured children, increased healthcare costs and less access for kids with insurance, and great financial devastation for families with special needs kids. At any rate, losing CHIP will devastating to millions of families, which will mean uncertainty surrounding their children’s health, much higher healthcare costs and added financial burdens, for some, a complete loss in their children’s coverage.

There is no question that Congress must vote to continue funding CHIP or else coverage for the 9 million kids whose families depend on CHIP will be in jeopardy. Should federal CHIP funding end, states would need to adjust their budgets, either ending or significantly cutting back on existing CHIP programs. Options available to a state may depend on whether it operates a separate CHIP program or has CHIP as an expanded Medicaid one. Either way, children’s health coverage will suffer. Nevertheless, failing to fund CHIP will undo 20 years of progress as well as undermine our nation’s values. If we want our children to live and succeed in this country, then funding CHIP should be a top priority. As Americans, we have a moral, ethical obligation to take care of our children. But if we can’t protect children’s health insurance, what does it say about our values?

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Green Eggs and Hamtastic Dr. Seuss Treats

Roast Beast

Aside from Green Eggs and Ham, Dr. Seuss doesn’t really get into food as much as some of the fantastical stuff in his books. Though there is The Battle Butter Book where the Yooks and the Zooks engage in an arms race over a disagreement on buttering one’s bread. Yes, it sounds silly but the ending is truly dark and disturbing since it escalated to nukes. Then there’s also a book about making the best scrambled eggs with the eggs coming from various exotic birds. Oh, and the fact the Grinch steals the roast beast along with other forms of Who food including the last can of Who hash. Nevertheless, when you look on Pinterest, you’d find so many Dr. Seuss treats for themed parties. Of course, these are mostly for kids. Yet, many of them can be quite whimsical nonetheless. So for your reading pleasure, I give you an assortment of Dr. Seuss treats.

  1. Dr. Seuss cake pops should always come in spectacular patterns.

Yes, these are certainly in great Seussical patterns in red, white, and light blue. But they won’t be the only ones you’ll see on this post.

2. The best kind of Dr. Seuss cake has green eggs and ham on top.

This is for a baby’s first birthday party. But it comes with  its own set of cupcakes.

3. You’ll be amazed to find what’s in this Truffula cake.

Indeed, it has plenty of pastel layers inside. Though the Truffulas on it hardly look impressive.

4. You don’t need a special occasion to eat a slice of bread with the Cat in the Hat.

After all, it contains the iconic red and white stripe hat. Also, is in a rather crazy design.

5. Perhaps a Cat in the Hat fruit salad platter can entice you.

Mostly consist of strawberry and banana slices. Yet, makes for a healthy snack for a kid’s party.

6. Hope you have a heart for these Grinch Oreo cookie treats.

Sure the heart might be small. And these are more suited for Christmas. But the Grinch is an iconic character in the Seuss canon.

7. There’s nothing more unforgettable than a cake featuring Thing 1 and Thing 2.

Another first birthday cake in 3 tiers. Still, it’s a bit more festive and Seusslike than the first one.

8. This Lorax lunch will satisfy anyone who speaks for the trees.

Includes a Lorax sandwhich and some Truffula tree treets. Contains a side of broccoli.

9. No child could resist this lunch from the Cat in the Hat.

Yet, the hat seems to be quite small for his head. Yet, the sandwich is certainly in his likeness.

10. No dessert platter is complete without this whimsical Dr. Seuss cake.

Contains imagery from the Lorax, the Cat in the Hat, One Fish, Two Fish, Red Fish, Blue Fish, and Oh, the Places You’ll Go. So cute.

11. There’s something fishy about these cupcakes.

Most of these contain one fish. Some have two. Some of these are red. And some of these are blue.

12. For healthier options, check out these Cat in the Hat fruit snacks.

Sure they may contain marshmallow heads with his face. But the hats consist of strawberry and banana.

13. With this cake, think of all the places you’ll go.

Funny how this cake is based on a kid’s book given to graduates. Still, you have to love the colors.

14. Cotton candy makes great tuffs for Truffula trees.

Yet, remember that cotton candy mostly consist of sugar. But you can easily see why they’re great for Truffula trees.

15. If you like Green Eggs and Ham and the Cat in the Hat, then check out this cake.

Even has a long fork into the green ham at the top. Also love the striped hat underneath it.

16. For a hot lunch, you can’t go wrong with a Lorax quesadilla.

Nice that it has some cheesy eyes and a mustache of cheddar. And though it’s not orange, it greatly resembles him.

17. A Lorax pizza can certainly make anyone’s day.

Contains olive eyes and a cheddar mustache. And it’s quite small as you see it next to a spoon.

18. If you liked the Bar-ba-loots, I suppose you’ll take to these snacks.

Funny how they don’t seem to have stuff pertaining to the Humming Fish and the Swamee Swans. Still, these consist of chocolate teddy bear crackers and mini marshmallows.

19. For healthier options, this Lorax lunch is a real treat.

Contains fruit and veggie Truffula trees. Yet, the Lorax here is extra cheesy.

20. These Dr. Seuss cupcakes can’t be beat on any dessert platter.

Includes toppers from the Lorax, Cat in the Hat, Green Eggs and Ham, Oh, the Places You’ll Go, and One Fish, Two Fish, Red Fish, Blue Fish. Some of them even have quotes, too.

21. If you’re into the zany, this Dr. Seuss cake will certainly suit you.

Depicts many of your old favorites as you can see. Also, has some crazy decor on the top.

22. If you like Green Eggs and Ham, then you’ll love this bento lunch.

Okay, I think there might be green egg candies and dyed ham. But at least it’s among orange rice.

23. Speaking of Green Eggs and Ham, how about these cupcakes?

These are green velvet cupcakes with green and white icing on them. Still, wonder what the ham cake looks like with these.

24. Nothing makes a great Dr. Seuss birthday party like Cat in the Hat pizza.

Sure it mainly consists of pepperoni. But its perfect for any Dr. Seuss occasion.

25. I’m positive anyone will eat this Green Eggs and Ham cake.

Yes, it’s a cake consisting of green eggs and ham for someone’s birthday. Nevertheless, it almost resembles the illustration.

26. These Sneetch Oreo truffle bites are hard to resist.

Some of these contain two stars. Others just one. But each is special in its own way.

27. If you want healthy snacks, you can’t go wrong with a fruity Thing 1 and Thing 2.

These are mainly comprised of banana, strawberries, and blueberries. And they’re both held together by toothpicks.

28. Seems like the Cat in the Hat wants to wish someone a happy birthday.

Yes, it’s probably from a high end bakery. But you can’t help but love it. So adorable.

29. Bet you can’t guess which Dr. Seuss book comes with these cupcakes.

Let me guess, the Lorax, the Cat in the Hat, Yertle the Turtle, Green Eggs and Ham, the Sneetches, and the Batle Butter Book. Still, the one on the far right is trick.

30. These Cat in the Hat cupcakes will surely suit your Seussical fancy.

The hats here consist of red icing and marshmallows. Yet, all make a fantastical Seuss treat.

31. Get a load of these fishy cookies.

Yes, these are from One Fish, Two Fish, Red Fish, Blue Fish. And they couldn’t use a blue fish since Swedish fish were involved.

32. This Dr. Seuss bento lunch will satisfy any child’s taste.

Yes, another Seuss bento lunch. But at least it has a little more Cat in the Hat.

33. This Cat in the Hat cake is almost by the book.

Well, it’s a cake of the book. But it’s surely an iconic one in the Seuss canon.

34. How about some Truffula tree cake pops on a stick?

Well, Truffula cake pops are surely appropriate for a Lorax themed party. And these sticks are even made to resemble the trunks.

35. Surely anyone would want a Dr. Seuss cake well-stacked.

Okay, this is considerably overboard. But it’s oddly fitting considering Dr. Seuss’s illustrations.

36. These cupcakes make the best Sneetch treats.

As in the book, some of these have green stars. And some have no stars at all.

37. What in the hell are these cupcake things?

Okay, these cupcakes are supposed to imitate Thing 1 and Thing 2. The cotton candy gives the impression of their blue hair.

38. There’s something very grinchy about these cupcakes.

Well, these are Grinch cupcakes. And each has a grinchy face as well as a heart 3 sizes too small.

39. Hope you have a taste for this Cat in the Hat sandwich.

Yes, he certainly looks spiffy. Love what they did with the hat. So adorable.

40. For your Grinchy Christmas celebrations, may I suggest this cake?

Depicts the Grinch in a Santa hat. And yes, he’s bent on stealing Christmas since he’s fed up with holiday consumerism.

41. Nothing welcomes a new fish in your family like this Dr. Seuss cake.

So I guess there are Dr. Seuss themed baby showers. Well, makes sense. But this cake probably has a steep price.

42. Any child who’s read One Fish, Two Fish, Red Fish, Blue Fish will find this lunch a real treat.

Yes, this is certainly a fishy lunch. Even has a fish sandwich and fish crackers.

43. If you love Oh, the Places You’ll Go, you’ll adore these Dr. Seuss cookies.

Yes, these may be professionally made. But they greatly resemble the book’s illustrations.

44. This Lorax lunch can surely speak for the trees.

Mostly consist of the Lorax sandwich with him in cheese. At any rate, it’s an almost exact likeness.

45. These cheese trees make great party appetizer platters.

By the way, the cheese trees are from Fox in Socks. I know it’s kind of insane.

46. This Lorax cake has a forest of Truffula trees.

And here we have the Lorax on a stump who speaks for them. Too bad the Once-ler didn’t listen.

47. There’s so much to love about this Cat in the Hat cake.

This one is for another first birthday. And yes, it’s almost like you’d see in a Dr. Seuss illustration.

48. This Cat in the Hat muffin tin lunch has almost everything a kid could want.

Well, it certainly includes 6 courses on it. Even a cup of red and white stripes.

49. These Lorax cupcakes will surely make your party a hit.

Consists of the Lorax, Truffula trees, and the Bar-ba-loots. Great for any Lorax themed party.

50. There’s nothing greener to eat than this Green Eggs and Ham lunch.

Well, except a Saint Patrick’s Day lunch of course. But you get the idea here.

51. Green Eggs and Ham cookies will please anyone willing to try them.

Well, they’re small cookies of green eggs and ham. Yet, each is professionally iced in its own way.

52. For appetizers, you can’t go wrong with these Cat in the Hat snacks.

These consist of cherry tomatoes and cheese stacked on Ritz crackers. Toothpicks required which goes without saying.

53. Of course, this would be a perfect cake for Dr. Seuss.

After all, it’s in the form of a book. Also consists of the Cat in the Hat’s hat and green eggs and ham.

54. Nothing makes a kid jump with glee than these Horton marshmallow treats.

These are from Horton Hatches an Egg since it contains a nest. Still, these are cute and fluffy.

55. I’m sure no Dr. Seuss fan can resist these cookies.

Well, they certainly consist of many people’s favorites. Though they’re definitely professionally made.

56. Wake up in the morning with some fruity Cat in the Hat toast.

Also, contains some whipped cream. Part of a complete Dr. Seuss breakfast.

57. These Grinch cupcakes will bring you loads of Christmas joy.

Unlike the other Grinch cupcakes, these have Santa hats on them. But each have a smile and yellow eyes.

58. This Cat in the Hat cake has 3 things on the top.

Guess this is for a kid’s 3rd birthday. Nevertheless, it’s as Seussical as can be.

59. How about some ham for your green deviled egg?

Goes without saying these are from Green Eggs and Ham. Though the ham isn’t green and is much smaller.

60. Which cupcake do you want? Truffula tree or Lorax?

Yes, the Lorax cupcakes all look the same. And the Truffula trees have different colors on them. But can’t the two be able to coexist?

61. This Dr. Seuss cake seems to have some interesting candles.

Then again, they may be made from icing. But at least this one contains many of your favorites.

62. This Dr. Seuss cake seems like it can fall down any minute.

Yes, these cakes can be quite elaborate and rather expensive. But in Dr. Seuss treat post, you can’t leave them out.

63. A Grinch cake can bring you endless joy for the Christmas season.

This one has a house with the Grinch on Mt. Crumpit. I know it’s kind of pretty but also has a whimsical touch.

64. These green egg cookies will surely make a fine addition to an Dr. Seuss dessert platter.

And these don’t seem very difficult to decorate at all. Since green and white icing is all you need.

65. This Lorax snack seems particularly fruity.

The Lorax is made of canned fruit. And he has a Truffula tree with a pretzel trunk beside him.

66. You can’t have a Dr. Seuss party without a Cat in the Hat cake.

This one is a more 3-dimensional model. But it certainly works with the book decor it’s on.

67. Nothing makes kids excited for reading like a Cat in the Hat pizza.

Yes, it’s another Cat in the Hat pizza. But this one has a more curvy look to it.

68. If you liked the Cat in the Hat Comes Back, you might enjoy this cake.

After all, it’s the one where the Cat in the Hat crashes the kids’ home again and eats cake in a tub. Of course, he leaves a pink ring in it.

69. Here’s another cake showing the whimsical world of Dr. Seuss.

Yes, I know I have a lot of cakes on here. But each of them is spectacular as can be.

70. This Lorax cake really speaks for the trees.

This one has the Lorax on top and the Truffula Forest on the bottom. So pretty.

71. If you’re expecting a couple of little tings, you might want to go with this cake.

Even has Thing 1 and Thing 2 onesies. Also like how it’s surrounded by blue cupcakes.

72. As we should remember, a cupcake’s a cupcake no matter how small.

As you can see, these are from Horton Hears a Who!. And each contains a pink clover.

73. For breakfast will it be Cat in the Hat or Green Eggs and Ham?

Yet, I’d have to remind you that the Cat in the Hat one contains more calories. Just so you know.

74. Peanut cookies make great Loraxes.

Now these seem pretty easy. Just decorate them with eyes and a yellow mustache and you’re good to go.

75. A Dr. Seuss lunch should always have a couple of things.

Well, Thing 1 and Thing 2 anyway. But at any rate, this is adorable.

76. For hot summer days, you might want to try a Cat in the Hat ice cream treat.

Comes with a cone for the hat and pretzels for whiskers. Perfect for a Dr. Seuss kind of day.

77. Or perhaps you’d want some Cat in the Hat marshmallow treats.

These consist of marshmallows and fruit roll-ups. And they certainly have the Seussical charm.

78. If you want to keep it simple, this is the Cat in the Hat lunch for you.

Just consists of a fish in a bowl sandwich and Cat in the Hat apple slices. What more can you want?

79. This Dr. Seuss lunch has a little bit from his most famous books.

You see a bit of Cat in the Hat, Green Eggs and Ham, Horton Hears a Who, and the Lorax. There might be a few others as well.

80. Lorax pretzels make a quality Dr. Seuss snack.

Each of these consists of a waffle pretzel decorated with icing to resemble the Lorax. Simple as that.

81. Dr. Seuss pasta should always have zany colors.

Helps if you use blue alfredo sauce, too. Resembles something you’d eat at a Whoville restaurant.

82. Truffula cookies should be served on a stick.

Yes, these are professionally made. But like Truffula trees, they come in a vast array of colors.

83. These Cat in the Hat treats will satisfy any Dr. Seuss dessert enthusiast.

Consists of icing, Oreos, and lifesavers. Pretty simple to assemble a kid can do it.

84. Green egg pretzel bites are a perfect Dr. Seuss snack.

Just consists of icing, waffle pretzels, and green M&Ms. So you should have no trouble making them.

85. With a pear, you can make your own Sneetch treat.

And it almost resembles the illustration. Nevertheless, this is kind of neat.

86. No Dr. Seuss party should ever go without a green eggs and ham appetizer platter.

Well, they’re green deviled eggs with ham slices. But the ham isn’t green.

87. In these Oh, the Places You’ll Go cupcakes contain plenty of surprises.

These are full of sprinkles as you can see. They also have layers upon layers of colors consisting of cake.

88. For a healthy Dr. Seuss lunch, say hello to a grinchy sandwich.

Also has a green egg and apple slices for sides. But yes, you’d want to eat the Grinch sandwich, would you?

89. Now help yourself to some literal green eggs and ham.

Yet, unlike the book, the ham isn’t green. Yet, the eggs are thanks to the magic of food coloring.

90. If you don’t like green eggs and ham alone, these pesto bacon cups will suit you fine.

Still, they might have a lot of grease on them. Yet, they’d be quite gourmet for a Dr. Seuss breakfast.

91. Check out these fishy cookies.

These are straight out of One Fish, Two Fish, Red Fish, Blue Fish. And unlike the last bunch, they’re at least the right colors and shapes.

92. You can’t have a Lorax party without a pizza that speaks for the cheese.

Toppings consists of cheese, peppers, and olives. But certainly bears a resemblance to the old Lorax himself.

93. Which do you want fish or hats?

I know these are professionally made. But you can’t help but love them.

94. This Lorax bento lunch is perfect for hikes in the Truffula forest.

That is until the Once-ler comes around and decimates it for his thneeds. Again, I can’t say what they’re used for.

95. Perhaps a more colorful Lorax bento would suit you.

Well, this makes bento box into an art form. Consists of Truffula trees, the Lorax, Bar-ba-loots, Swamee Swans, and “Unless.”

96. For more greens, go with a Grinchy veggie tray.

Though I’d insist, it’s more appropriate for the holidays. Since he’s from a Christmas story.

97. Fans of Oh, the Places You’ll Go would want to have this veggie tray.

This one has a whole variety of veggies cut in different ways. Perfect for any Dr. Seuss party.

98. You can eat this bento lunch here. You can eat it there. You can even eat it anywhere.

Yes, this is from Green Eggs and Ham. And it even has green hard-boiled eggs to boot.

99. For a colorful cake, may I suggest Oh, the Places You’ll Go.

Because let’s face it, the Lorax isn’t a very happy story. Also, you might like some of the cake pops on this. So cute.

100. And finally, the veggies are stacked on this Yertle the Turtle bento lunch.

However, I have to remind you that Yertle the Turtle is an allegory on fascism. And the turtle stacking had more to do with enhancing Yertle’s own ego.

Fun and Fantastical Dr. Seuss Craft Projects from the Truffula Tree Forest

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The wide world of Dr. Seuss is filled with so many whimsical contraptions that many would find impossible to replicate in real life. At least one in good working order. But they certainly delight us nonetheless. Yet, you’d also find plenty of Dr. Seuss crafts and other items that might whisk you off to Whoville, the Jungle of Nool, or the Truffula Forest. But you’d find a lot of other places, too. Naturally, many of these usually consist of activities catered toward children. Because plenty of schools and parents make use of them. Yet, you’ll also find plenty of other craft items in Dr. Seuss’s fantastical style. None of them consists of thneeds. However, I’m not sure what the hell one is used for anyway except making money for the Once-ler which leads to him decimating the Truffula Forest. Maybe we’re not supposed to. Anyway, for your reading pleasure, I give you an assortment of charming Dr. Seuss craft projects. Enjoy.

  1. You can make adequate Truffula trees with pool noodles and tissue paper.

Though you might need t use yellow duct tape for the trunk. Still, if you like The Lorax, these can’t be beat.

2. A Cat in the Hat child’s chair is always a delight in the home.

It’s even painted in blue, red, white, and black. I’m sure it’s made by a pro. But I like it.

3. A Green Eggs and Ham pinata is always full of surprises.

But at least in this one, you have candy. Not food-borne diseases like trichinosis.

4. You can’t steal Christmas without a Grinch ugly sweater.

I know Christmas is a long way off. But the Grinch is such an iconic Dr. Seuss character. So I can’t ignore putting a few in this one.

5. No one can say no to a Green Eggs and Ham snack tray.

It just has the green eggs and ham painted on. Nevertheless, it’s quite a work of art.

6. A Dr. Seuss shelf should always create a colorful impression.

This one comes in 3 sections. But you’d certainly find it at a Whoville furniture store.

7. It’s never out of style to wear a Cat in the Hat dress.

And you can’t get any better than with a Cat in the Hat sun dress. Best to wear on rainy summer days.

8. There’s never a bad time to curl up with a book when you have a Cat in the Hat quilt.

Certainly a crazy quilt indeed with all kinds of colors. But it’s as Seussical as can be.

9. This white bookshelf has a mind of its own.

Well, certainly seems like it. Still, not sure if I’d want to have it around my place. The shelves are uneven which is precisely the point.

10. A crocheted Lorax cap will keep your little one nice and warm.

Sure the Lorax is a fuzzy character since he’s orange and hairy with a long yellow mustache. But he’s not particularly cuddly. Though this hat certainly is.

11. Your little ones will always match with these Thing 1 and Thing 2 crocheted caps.

Well, Thing 1 and Thing 2 are the Cat and the Hat’s main entourage. Still, these are cute.

12. If you like Dr. Seuss, then you’ll certainly adore these chairs.

These consist of the Cat in the Hat, Horton Hears a Who, and the Lorax. And all are in bright colors.

13. Red and white stripes with blue feathers always make a great Seuss wreath.

Obviously, This is from the Cat in the Hat. Since the blue reflects the hair from Things 1 & 2.

14. It’s easy to make a Truffula tree with a long stick and fuzz.

Nevertheless, they come in all shapes and sizes. Also, they all come in pots.

15. A Lorax amigurumi always speaks for the trees.

And here he has a Truffula tree in his hand. Though it would be much bigger than him.

16. There’s nothing better to snuggle in than a square diamond Cat in the Hat quilt.

After all, a Seuss quilt comes alive when you use some crazy patterned fabric. Love this.

17. You can’t have a merry Grinchmas without a Grinch wreath.

Even has a Grinch in the center holding candy. And it’s certainly in the festive Christmas spirit.

18. As we all know, Dr. Seuss taught us that reading is fun.

As this canvas hanging shows. Includes the Cat in the Hat, the Lorax, and One Fish, Two Fish, Red Fish, Blue Fish.

19. Nothing makes reading more fun than a Cat in the Hat shelf.

It’s a Cat in the Hat shelf since it’s depicted in the iconic striped hat. Great for any kid’s room.

20. A Cat in a Hat apron is perfect for any kitchen adventure.

Still, you wouldn’t want the Cat in the Hat in your kitchen. Because he’d just make a real mess in there.

21. The Cat in the Hat could only dream of shoes like these.

Since they match his red and white striped hat. Though I wouldn’t want to walk outside with them.

22. A Cat in the Hat quilt like this can always delight on a cold day.

Yet, another Cat in the Hat quilt. I know you might be tired already. But there’s more to come from the other books.

23. “Unless someone like you cares a whole awful lot, it’s not going to get better, it’s not.”

I guess that’s the last Truffula tree. Yes, the Once-ler really fucked up with his insatiable greed.

24. You can always take this Dr. Seuss tote wherever you go.

Well, this bag features many of your favorite characters. It also consists of red and white stripes.

25. Wouldn’t you want this Truffula tree painting on your wall?

Maybe. But if you’re the Once-ler, probably not. Since it can serve as a reminder of how he screwed up.

26. There’s always a way to say “Merry Grinchmas.”

And I’m sure this sign is just the ticket. Love the green arm sticking out with the ornament.

27. Would you like a crocheted green eggs and ham?

Sure you can’t eat them. But you wouldn’t want to eat the real life equivalent either.

28. Nobody can resist a Cat in the Hat chair with a fuzzy seat.

It even has feet with shoes. Still, what’s not to love about this?

29. With this Lorax lampshade, you can illuminate a Truffula forest.

Though it’s more meant to cast shadows of the Lorax and the Truffula trees. But it’s pretty cool.

30. A hat made of ribbons makes a great Dr. Seuss centerpiece.

I guess this is for a Cat in the Hat themed party. But it’s spectacular.

31. Why have one candy dispenser when you can use 2?

Appropriately enough these are in the likeness of Thing 1 and Thing 2. And they both have blue feathered hair.

32. Nobody could ever resist stealing an amigurumi Grinch.

Sure he may not be in his Santa suit. But he sure as hell doesn’t seem like his heart is 3 sizes too small either.

33. Nothing can make your day like a Cat in the Hat bouquet.

Yet, the hat vase has a more twisty, turny stripe pattern. Still, this is perfect for any Dr. Seuss occasion.

34. You can always enjoy reading in this Dr. Seuss rocking chair.

At least I think it’s a rocking chair. But it only uses a few colors for simplicity.

35. This Lorax tote is 100% ec0-friendly.

At least compared to thneeds. For I’m not sure what they do. Still, better than paper or plastic.

36. This chair’s been painted in a real Seuss style.

And it seems to be in a more artistic style than some of the other ones. Like the patterns on the back.

37. How about some Truffula trees on poles.

Well, at least they stand up straight. Though don’t the Truffula trees in the book kind of bend down a little like palm trees?

38. If you love the Grinch, then this panel should tell you the real meaning of Christmas.

This one depicts the Grinch seeing the Whos sing together after he stole all their stuff. Of course, he can’t stop Christmas from coming.

39. Check out these Lorax shoes.

They certainly have great Seuss artwork on them. But the Cat in the Hat ones are much simpler to do.

40. You’d find that this Cat in the Hat bookshelf really comes in handy.

This is kind of neat. Uneven and with everyone’s favorite characters from the book.

41. Welcome guests to your home with a Cat in the Hat wreath.

Even has the Cat in the Hat on it. And it’s in classic colors from the book.

42. There’s something fishy about this chest of drawers.

It’s from One Fish, Two Fish, Red Fish, Blue Fish. But it’s certainly great for a little kid’s room.

43. You can always read and keep warm in this Dr. Seuss quilt.

This one depicts many of the all time favorites. And each square has a lot of colorful illustrations.

44. You can even make your own felt Dr. Seuss hat.

Well, this is the one from the Cat in the Hat. But sure, it’s possible.

45. Grace your table with your very own Truffula tree wreath.

It’s set on the table so the Truffula trees can stand up. Kind of clever if you think about it.

46. Nothing makes your guests feel welcome than this Cat in the Hat wreath.

Couldn’t pass this one up. Since it has his face as well as red tulle and white ribbons.

47. Amigurumi Thing 1 and Thing 2 will bring you loads of fun.

Where the Cat in the Hat be without them? Still, you have to like their blue hair.

48. Thing 1 and Thing 2 always make a perfect pair.

Well, they certainly match in almost every way. Still, without their suits, you can barely tell them apart.

49. You’ll always look sharp with a Cat in the Hat ribbon pin.

Doesn’t seem that hard to make by the looks of it. Though I could be wrong.

50. I’m sure anyone would want to have this Dr. Seuss bookshelf from Whoville.

Comes in an array of different colors. But always fits best in a corner.

51. If you like Dr. Seuss, then you’d love these canvas quotes.

These are all painted, by the way. Each one depicts an illustration from a Dr. Seuss book.

52. For Christmas, you might want to steal this sign.

Okay, I was kidding on that one. But for a panel sign, this is absolutely perfect.

53. There’s nothing fuzzier to love than a Lorax wreath.

Well, he’s supposed to be furry. But I’m sure the face really looks like him.

54. You’re always invited for fun with this Cat in the Hat wreath.

This one has the trademark Dr. Seuss hat. Goes nicely with the ribbons and decomesh.

55. This Seuss quilt is one crazy patchwork after another.

Another quilt that has a lot of your old favorites. Love the use of covers.

56. You’ll always have a seat on this Dr. Seuss rocking chair.

Yet, I have a feeling this is more meant for kids. But I appreciate the paint job.

57. No nursery is ever complete without a Dr. Seuss mobile.

After all, a baby should have a mobile depicting what you’d read to them before bedtime. So cute.

58. When you go to the beach, you can cuddle with your amigurumi Star-Bellied Sneetch.

Yet, to be fair, the Star-Bellied Sneetches aren’t the nicest bunch. Since The Sneetches story is about racism.

59. You can have loads of fun on rainy days with this Cat in the Hat peg doll set.

Includes the Cat in the Hat, Sally and her brother, and Things 1&2.

60. If you enjoy Green Eggs and Ham, then I suppose you’ll rave about this quilt.

Seems like it’s more colorful than the Cat in the Hat ones. But please enjoy the illustrations.

61. This Cat in the Hat chair has a back with red and white stripes.

Well, this looks whimsical enough for story time. And it has the Cat in the Hat on the seat.

62. Hope you keep warm this Christmas season with this crocheted Grinch cap.

It’s bright green in order to stand out, too. Great for any yuletide winter’s day.

63. Perhaps you might guess the books on these samplers.

I’m sure you’ll have no trouble with them. But each one consist of a felt image.

64. Bet you want to get squeaky clean with this Dr. Seuss shower curtain.

Still, make sure you have a plain plastic one that goes under it. Because I don’t think such a design is practical without it.

65. Curl up this Christmas season with this Grinch quilt.

Well, that’s an interesting design. Funny, how I show a lot of quilts on this post for some reason.

66. Hope you might try having this Green Eggs and Ham shelf around.

It’s orange with green inside the shelves. Even has Sam I Am with his trademark cuisine on the side.

67. With these Cat in the Hat blocks, your child could learn their ABCs.

Each one is in a whimsical design. You can even see the Cat in the Hat himself on some of them.

68. There are always fun things to do with this Dr. Seuss stool.

But make sure it doesn’t end up in a science lab, workshop, or an art room. Since it’s richly painted.

69. Rest your head on a couch with this Dr. Seuss cushion pillow.

Features your favorite Dr. Seuss stories. And has a black and white fringe. So lovely.

70. Got a broken globe? How about make a lamp like this?

That’s for Oh, the Places You’ll Go! Yes, it’s certainly fitting in a way.

71. Perhaps you’d want a sample of green eggs and ham.

Well, that’s a rather detailed sampler. Like how they used the buttons as yolks.

72. Hope this old globe will show all the places you’ll go.

Now normally, I usually advise against decorating globes like this, But this kind of works.

73. That red shelf seems to have some personality.

Well, the white one is quite plain compared to this. But it certainly has the Seuss spirit.

74. You can always share a book when sitting on this Cat in the Hat rocking chair.

That one has a rather stellar design. And it has a striped hat on the seat.

75. Nothing says Christmas fun like a set of Grinch peg dolls.

Includes the Grinch, Max, Cindylou Who, and a Christmas tree. All in all, it’s quite clever.

76. No kid wants anything more than to cuddle with an amigurumi Cat in the Hat.

Well, his head is a little big for his body. But nevertheless, he’s adorable.

77. With Seuss baby bibs, your baby will sure look forward to dinner time.

Consists of a set of 3. And each is in a different pattern. But any tot will love them.

78. No elementary teacher should ever go without this Dr. Seuss wreath.

After all, many Dr. Seuss books are targeted for grade school kids. Yet, this one is certainly school oriented.

79. As it can be there’s always a great wide world for us to see.

Well, it’s a panel depicting a map of the world. Of course, it has to say, “Oh, the places you’ll go!” on it.

80. Wonder if the houses in Whoville resemble this.

Yes, it’s a Dr. Seuss style birdhouse. And yes, you can find ones in all different colors on Etsy.

81. These crocheted hats are perfect for a couple of little things.

After all, these are kids’ hats with designations of Thing 1 and Thing 2. And yes, they’re cute.

82. There’s something curvy about this birdhouse.

Yes, it’s another Dr. Seuss birdhouse. But this one is a bit wavier than the other. But it certainly belongs to Whoville.

83. Don’t leave home with Cat in the Hat tote bag.

This one even has straps you can fasten it with. Pretty ingenious don’t you think?

84. Nothing makes your bedroom better than a wavy blue dresser.

Though I’m not sure how you’re supposed to fit clothes into it. But it’s great for any Suessical bedroom.

85. Fans of One Fish, Two Fish, Red Fish, Blue Fish, might enjoy this fishy quilt.

The book itself doesn’t have much of a plot. But the images are fantastic nonetheless.

86. It always works best with a Cat in the Hat chest.

It’s just a plastic chest painted with Cat in the Hat stuff on it. But I hope it keeps all your kid’s toys.

87. This Green Eggs and Ham quilt has some crazy patterns.

And indeed, it does. But it also has a certain whimsical charm to it, too.

88. Rest your head on this Cat in the Hat cushion.

Includes a quote by Dr. Seuss on it by the way. Still, you can’t help but love this.

89. Protect your hands in the kitchen with this Green Eggs and Ham oven mitt.

Since Green Eggs and Ham pertains to food, this is rather fitting. But please, real green eggs and ham wouldn’t pass a health inspection.

90. A burlap Grinch wreath should always suit your fancy on Christmas.

This one includes some lines from the book. But the Santa hat and green burlap sure go nice together.

91. Who knows where you’ll go with these shoes.

Well, since these are from Oh, the Places You’ll Go, it’s only fitting. But I love the art on these.

92. These Dr. Seuss pot holders are always essential for the kitchen.

And it helps that they’re both in the same design. Best to go with the Green Eggs and Ham oven mitt.

93. With this wreath, the Cat in the Hat welcomes you.

This one even includes Thing 1 and Thing 2. But yes, it’s surely and inviting sight.

94. You’ll always look spiffy with these Dr. Seuss bowties.

After all. old Ted Geisel himself liked to done one all the time. Still, these are great.

95. Enjoy your coffee in the morning with this Cat in the Hat ceramic mug.

Includes a striped handle and top. Sure it only depicts the hat. But it’s good enough.

96. Make sure to take this pillow with you while you travel.

Naturally, it’s for Oh, the Places You’ll Go. The hot air balloon gives it a touch of whimsy.

97. This Cat in the Hat apron will make anyone a kitchen maven.

Still, it looks quite pretty. Not sure whether I’d want cook with that on.

98. Instead of a thneed, cuddle in this Lorax quilt.

After all, thneeds are utterly useless unlike the Once-ler says. But this one is quite colorful with scenes from the book. And it doesn’t use any Truffula trees.

99. Make your guests feel right at home with this Cat in the Hat wreath.

Unlike some of the other wreaths, this yarn one isn’t too flashy. Just has his trademark hat and a bowtie.

100. Be a maven in the kitchen with this Lorax apron.

Well, it depicts some Truffula trees. Hope none of them get cut down. Oh, wait, they do.

The Great Wide Whimsical World of Dr. Seuss Costumes

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With their rhyming schemes, illogical logic, fantastical buildings, nonsensical vocabulary, and spectacular illustrations, the works of Dr. Seuss have entertained generations of children for 80 years with And to Think That I Saw It on Mulberry Street. Since then, Dr. Seuss would write more than 60 books which would sell over 600 million copies and be translated into more than 20 languages by the time of his death. They’ve also spawned numerous adaptations such as 11 TV specials, 4 feature films, 2 Broadway musicals, and 4 TV shows. Many of these books have become literary classics for the ages like The Cat in the Hat, How the Grinch Stole Christmas!, Green Eggs and Ham, Horton Hears a Who!, If I Ran the Zoo, Fox in Socks, Hop on Pop, I Had Trouble Getting to Solla Sollew, The Lorax, The Battle Butter Book, and Oh, the Places You’ll Go. Born Theodore Seuss Geisel in Springfield, Massachusetts, he adopted the name “Dr. Seuss” during his days at Dartmouth and Oxford, the latter from which he dropped out from to work as an illustrator and cartoonist for Vanity Fair, Life, and other publications. Though to be fair, he adopted the name “Dr. Seuss” during his Dartmouth days in the 1920s so he can continue working as editor-in-chief for The Dartmouth Jack-O-Lantern under the administration’s nose. Because they caught him drinking gin in his room with 9 of his buddies and told him to resign from all extracurricular activities, including the magazine. Yet, he also worked as an illustrator for Standard Oil’s advertising campaigns and a political cartoonist for the New York newspaper PM. Nevertheless, Dr. Seuss’s books surely belong to a world of their own. Though he never had kids of his home and kind of hated them, his kids’ books are still being read to this day.

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Since Dr. Seuss’s work is so significant in children’s literature, the National Education Association has adopted his birthday March 2, as Read Across the America Day. And it’s not unusual to see many elementary school teachers dress up in Dr. Seuss costumes or decorate their rooms to fit into Dr. Seuss’s world of fantastical whimsy. So for your reading pleasure, I bring you an assortment of Dr. Seuss costumes by his fans of all ages.

  1. As you can see, you’ll find plenty of fish in the sea.

Well, these seem simple enough with One Fish, Two Fish, Red Fish, Blue Fish. Unfortunately, the Star Trek version is Gold Shirt, Blue Shirt, Red Shirt Dead Shirt.

2. You can’t stop until you have 10 apples on top.

I’m not familiar with this book. Guess it’s one of the Dr. Seuss’s more obscure works.

3. You can’t celebrate Christmas without looking like the latest thing in Whoville.

Nevertheless, I may not be a fan of fashion magazines. But I’d certainly would love to see what one in Whoville looks like. Also, like the hair.

4. For a simpler costume, may I suggest Daisy Head Mayzie?

Never heard of this book either. Then again, it was originally published in 1995, 4 years after Dr. Seuss died.

5. Horton always insists on keeping his word because an an elephant is always faithful 100%.

This is from Horton Hatches the Egg where he agrees to sit on the egg for an irresponsible bird name Mayzie as she takes a trip to Palm Beach. Yet, the Horton Hears a Who costume is far more common.

6. “I am the Lorax and I speak for the trees.”

Too bad the Once-ler didn’t listen to him and turned the Truffula forest into a wasteland out of greed. Still, this is a cute costume.

7. How about try some green eggs and ham?

Yes, Sam I Am is certainly a popular costume. However, though harmless in the Seuss world, nobody should eat green eggs and ham, which can make you vomit.

8. Nobody can resist this star-bellied Sneetch.

However, know that this sneetch has a star on its belly to exude its racial superiority over the bare-bellied ones. Because star-bellied sneetches are racist.

9. Would you like green eggs and ham?

Yes, it’s another Sam I Am costume. And yes, it has a fork in his green eggs and ham.

10. Looks like she has a wocket in her pocket.

That’s from a book about strange creatures living in a boy’s house. Still, this is adorable.

11. You better listen to the Lorax and not cut Truffula Trees for thneeds.

Because the Lorax doesn’t mess around. Too bad the Oncler is more concerned with growing his business to even care.

12. I bet this little Grinch wants to steal Christmas.

He even has a stuffed dog with reindeer antlers. Love the green fur.

13. Thidwick, the Big-Hearted Moose always has room on his antlers.

Though the creatures residing on his head are basically taking advantage of him. Still, this a Seuss costume you don’t normally see.

14. Even the Grinch can’t resist this little Cindylou Who.

This one just consists of a pink shirt, a cute hairstyle, and black pipe cleaners. So adorable.

15. The Lorax loves hanging out with the Bar-ba-loots and the Once-ler.

Though keep in mind, the Once-ler never shows his face. Still, these are cute.

16. Now this is a literal Cat in the Hat.

Though she’s probably one of the cats who come out of the Cat in the Hat’s hat. Yet, it’s surely an inventive costume.

17. Up on Mount Crumpet, Max the Grinch’s only friend.

Even has an antler on his head. Nevertheless, this is a pretty simple costume to make.

18. As we all know the Cat in the Hat is accompanied by Thing 1 and Thing 2.

Well, I had to put in the Cat in the Hat at some point. After all, it’s Dr. Seuss’s most famous book.

19. There’s something fishy about this little girl.

I have to admit this is quite clever. Like how it just consists of fish on a yellow dress.

20. Horton will always try to preserve Whoville since a person’s a person, no matter how small.

Here’s the Horton Hears a Who costume. This one just consists of ears, T-shirt, and an air vent pipe.

21. The Cat in the Hat never leaves without the Things.

Helps if the Cat in the Hat has his blue umbrella. Still, the things are so sweet.

22. These things were born to teach.

Yes, these are elementary school teachers dressed as Thing 1 and Thing 2. And yes, they didn’t use any blue hair.

23. These Truffula trees will never leave their Lorax or Bar-ba-loot behind.

Well, the Truffala trees look easy for the parents. Hope they don’t see the Oncler any time soon.

24. Have you ever seen a fox in socks?

Nice she has the book with her. Still, Fox in Socks doesn’t really have much of a plot since it’s a beginner book.

25. Hope you enjoy this green eggs and ham.

In the Seuss world, green eggs and ham is mostly harmless. In the real world, such a dish needs thrown out since it can cause trichinosis.

26. Dr. Seuss is always a hit for the whole family.

Consists of the Cat in the Hat, the Grinch, the Lorax, and the Fish in the Bowl. Like how they used the wagon.

27. Wearing socks on your limbs is always foxy.

Yes, it’s another fox in socks. But this one has bigger ears and a shorter tail.

28. My, that’s a beautiful Truffula tree.

This one has a pink tuff and a long striped dress. Hope she doesn’t run into the Oncler anytime soon.

29. Don’t mess with the Lorax or the Truffula trees.

Even has a Truffula tree to carry. Like the fuzzy yellow whiskers. Brilliant.

30. The fish in the bowl is always a voice of reason.

Well, at least in the cartoon. Then again, it might be a different Dr. Seuss fish.

31. Wouldn’t any girl want to have a daisy on her head?

Sure it’s another Daisy Head Mayzie. But I guess it’s an easier costume to do.

32. There’s a lot to love with this Lorax family.

Well, this is more from the CGI movie since a couple of the characters aren’t in the original book. Also, we only see the Once-ler’s hands.

33. You’re never too old for Fox in Socks.

Then again, she’s probably a teacher. But this fox costume doesn’t seem to require much.

34. You’ll find a lot of things in this family.

There’s even a Thing Mom. So who’s the Thing Dad? Maybe I don’t want to think about it.

35. This fuzzy little Lorax just wants you to stop exploiting Truffula trees.

Well, the Lorax is furry and has a fuzzy mustache. So this kind of sticks.

36. Here we have Sam I Am with green eggs and ham.

Helps if the green eggs and ham are on a skillet. Though they wouldn’t pass health inspection.

37. Nothing pleases like a happy star-bellied sneetch.

Except having to integrate with a bare-bellied sneetch. Yet, this is a clever costume.

38. Seems like this family really takes to Dr. Seuss on Halloween.

Consists of the Grinch, a Star-Bellied Sneetch, Cat in the Hat, Cindylou Who, and Things 1 and 2. So sweet.

39. Yertle the Turtle seeks to rule all turtle kind.

By the way, Yertle the Turtle is a stand-in for Adolf Hitler. He makes the other turtles stand up so he can see further and expand his kingdom.

40. The Cat in the Hat always knows where it’s at.

Still, while he might be a fun guy, he can show up without warning. Also, doesn’t seem to care most of the time.

41. How about some green eggs to go with that ham?

That’s a rather inventive costume. Still, kids, don’t eat green eggs and ham. It’s unsanitary and could make you deathly ill.

42. Celebrate Christmas with Cindylou Who and the Grinch.

Well, these are adult costumes. But hope the Grinch doesn’t steal your Christmas. Oh, wait, he can’t.

43. A black cat should always have a long striped hat and a red bow tie.

This is a Cat in the Hat tutu costume for women. Not my cup of tea but not bad.

44. You can always count on Horton to lend a helping hand.

After all, he’ll save Whoville if it’s the last thing he does. By the way, this is a Horton tutu costume.

45. Daisy Head Mayzie can always do with a flower on her head.

Once again, I’m not familiar with Daisy Head Mayzie. But this is kind of cute.

46. You’d almost think this Lorax could scare off a lumberjack.

Though the Lorax didn’t exactly carry a bag with him. Still, this is most likely a kid’s costume.

47. A Cat in the Hat should always stun.

Yet, another tutu Cat in the Hat costume. Because he’s such an iconic Dr. Seuss character.

48. She must be from the punk side of Whoville.

What else could explain that distinctive hair style? Still, I think it’s quite clever.

49. Green eggs should always go with the ham.

And yet some green eggs and ham costumes. But these go together as a group.

50. The family that always reads Dr. Seuss together stays together.

Consists of Cat in the Hat, Sam I Am, a Star-Bellied Sneetch, and Things 1 and 2. Love this.

51. Nobody can ever forget the Cat in the Hat’s sidekicks Thing 1 and Thing 2.

Well, these kids are cute. But the white makeup seems to provide a creepiness to them.

52. Cindylou Who always looks perky in pink.

Well, this is more of a pink Santa dress. But it’s certainly appropriate.

53. The Lorax always feels at home in the woods.

After all, the Lorax speaks for the trees. Hope he doesn’t see any loggers nearby.

54. This cat’s hat really stands out.

Helps if he has a little fish in the bowl as a trick or treat bag. So adorable.

55. There’s something fishy about this guy.

Mostly because he’s the Fish in the Bowl from the Cat in the Hat. And he usually serves as the voice of reason.

56. Thing 1 and Thing 2  always enjoy the classroom.

I suppose these are elementary school teachers. Like the tutus.

57. Cindylou Who surely hopes to join the Christmas festivities.

Well, that’s cute. Love the little red cape and the Who hairstyle.

58. Nobody can resist little Cindylou Who with a large red bauble.

Well, she at least has pigtails and long lines in her hair. So adorable.

59. Seems like we have all kinds of fish in this bowl.

There’s one fish, two fish, red fish, and a blue fish. Just like that Dr. Seuss book.

60. I’m sure you’d want to cuddle this little star-bellied Sneetch.

Of course, this kid probably has no idea what the Sneetches story is about yet. Yet, so cute.

61. Thing 1 and Thing 2 are always at your service.

Don’t tell me that they have sexy costumes of Dr. Seuss characters. Because Dr. Seuss should never be sexy. His books are for children for God’s sake.

62. Yertle is the king of all turtle kind.

However, Yertle is obsessed with expanding his power that he’s willing to exploit his fellow turtles for his own benefit. He’s not a nice guy.

63. Who children are always up for a Christmas parade.

After all, everyone in Whoville loved Christmas a lot. But the Grinch who lived just north of Whoville, did not.

64. These things always get around on all fours.

Yes, these are dog Thing 1 and Thing 2 costumes. And yes, I’m sure someone would find them cute.

65. I thought there are only supposed to be 2 Things not 3.

Then again, if you want to dress in the same costume, who’s going to stop you. Still, have to put them on the post.

66. Cindylou Who shine in her candy cane dress.

Sure it’s an adult Christmas costume. But it’s cute nonetheless. Like the hair.

67. We seem to find all kinds of fish here.

Includes, one fish, two fish, red fish, blue fish, old fish, and new fish. And it seems they’re all teachers.

68. When you’re a thing, you got to have blue hair.

Seems like it to these girls. They even have blue tutus to match.

69. This Lorax family always speaks for the trees.

Consists of the Once-ler, a Truffula tree, the Lorax, and a Bar-ba-loot. Yet, remember we never see the Once-ler’s face.

70. Whos always know how to party.

This is especially during the Christmas season. And these two are going all out.

71. You’ll surely know what kind of fish these are.

Just remember the rhyme of one fish, two fish, red fish, blue fish, old fish, new fish. Simple as that.

72. What’s a Whoville girl without a crazy hairdo and dress?

I mean we should know how Who women and girls dress. But this is so adorable.

73. Bet you’ve never seen Truffula trees like these.

Sure they may seem pretty now. But as far as the Once-ler is concerned, they’re resources to be shamelessly exploited.

74. Seems like this Lorax is meant for a different forest.

Once again, please don’t make Dr. Seuss sexy. Seriously, his books are for children!

75. A Sneetch should have an ample amount of feathers.

Well, this doesn’t appear to be a difficult costume. Yet, we all know why she wears her star on her torso with pride.

76. What’s with that daisy, Mayzie?

Actually, it’s supposed to grow out of her head. I know it’s crazy. But hey, this is the Seuss verse.

77. The Once-ler is a man with great style.

Well, he certainly rocks in that green, striped suit. Yet, we all know how he got a hold of it.

78. Who can ever forget Gertrude McFuzz and her spectacular tail?

Gertrude McFuzz is a story about a bird who feels inadequate in her tail feathers. So she tries to change herself. This is the result.

79. Hope you can join Cindylou Who and the Grinch for Christmas time.

Though the Grinch would prefer you not to, especially when he’s wearing that humiliating sweater. Though the guy looks pretty cool in his costume.

80. The Once-ler can always rock it with his electric guitar.

Well, this is more from the movie. But yes, he certainly looks great in his green suit, indeed.

81. Perhaps you might like a bite of his green eggs and ham?

I’m sure you can’t resist this little guy as Sam I Am. So sweet.

82. The Once-ler’s quite taken with that Truffula tree.

Hey, Truffula Tree, don’t go near him. He wants to cut you down and make you into a thneed.

83. This little Lorax loves a fuzzy tree.

Doesn’t hurt if his costume is fuzzy either. But he speaks for the trees. So cute.

84. It’s only fair for Thing 1 and Thing 2 to wear red dresses.

Not too bad. But at least it doesn’t look like the sexy version. Like how they’re wearing blue leggings.

85. Of course, Cindylou Who can have yellow hair strands.

Yet, she still wears pink and has a red bauble with her. So sweet.

86. Well, these two Whos are in the Christmas spirit.

Apparently, some people like to dress up as Whos during the Christmas season. But these costumes are at least green and red.

87. Here are some Whoville children in their back to school best.

Funny how the Grinch is wearing a suit. Yet, wonder how long it takes Whoville women to do their hair.

88. Hope this costume reminds you of all the places you’ll go.

It’s from the Dr. Seuss book people get for their graduations. But she certainly resembles the cover.

89. Is that a Noothbrush?

Well, it’s kind of hard to explain since it appears in There’s a Wocket in My Pocket. Nevertheless, it’s an interesting choice.

90. Perhaps you might want to check out this fish suit.

It’s more or less supposed to reflect One Fish, Two Fish, Red Fish, Blue Fish. Still, it’s pretty creative.

91. One wonders all the places this little guy goes.

Helps if it’s a box with balloons. Still, this baby is so cute in it.

92. Yertle is always lord of all turtles.

This is a more plain version. But then again, the turtles all looked the same in the story.

93. Nobody could resist a fox in socks.

This one has a girl in a red tutu and furry ears. Yet, she is so irresistibly cute.

94. These things always stick together.

Guess this is the couple’s costume of Thing 1 and Thing 2. And both sport red shirts and blue hair.

95. If you’re a bird in Seuss, it’s best that you’re tickled pink.

Then again, Dr. Seuss’s birds look pretty strange. But you have to admire this girl’s feathers.

96. Now here we have a literal Cat in the Hat.

Well, it is a black cat in the hat. But I don’t think it looks too happy to entertain your kids.

97. Nobody could resist this little yellow Sneetch.

Even has a star on its belly. But let’s hope this kid doesn’t make it a mark of superiority. So cute.

98. I’m sure you’d want to hug this little fox.

Yes, Fox in Socks is a popular costume. But you have to love this one, too.

99. Have to love the red bows on this Cindylou Who.

Yes, Cindylou Who has a strong following, especially during the Christmas season Yet, this costume is adorable.

100. This little Fish in the Bowl has his own container.

Okay, that’s pretty clever. Still, you have to feel very bad for him in Cat in the Hat.

What I Want for Christmas Letters to Santa

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Every Christmas it’s not uncommon for kids to write letters to Santa Claus on what they want for Christmas. Normally this would consist of kids writing requests for toys. But it’s not always the case. This letter above is by my cousin Ben wrote in preschool. Of course, he can be a little smartass since he’s asking for the whole kit and caboodle. Seeing this letter on Facebook got me thinking about the kind of letters kids write to Santa. Turns out the internet has plenty of letters from various sites like Buzzfeed. Anyway, for your reading pleasure, I give you a treasure trove of children’s letters to the big guy at the North Pole. In case you want to know about letters to Santa, it’s perfectly fine to send your letter to the North Pole since the United States Postal Service has their own Letters from Santa program.

  1. Dear Santa, give me a Lady Gaga doll or I’ll break your legs.
Little Tommy isn't fooling around either, Santa. You better give this kid a Lady Gaga doll. Sounds like a mobster at the end.

Little Tommy isn’t fooling around either, Santa. You better give this kid a Lady Gaga doll. Sounds like a mobster at the end.

2. If you want to know what this kid wants for Christmas, here’s the link.

Makes me wonder why children don't e-mail Santa more often. Might make Santa's work much easier.

Makes me wonder why children don’t e-mail Santa more often. Might make Santa’s work much easier.

3. Apparently, one kid isn’t happy about Santa Claus this year.

Guess this kid saw Mommy kissing Santa Claus last Christmas. Seems to be a little Grinch in the making.

Guess this kid saw Mommy kissing Santa Claus last Christmas. Seems to be a little Grinch in the making.

4. Well, at least this little girl is honest.

Then again, she may not be that greedy. Or she just might be blurting out song lyrics. Not sure which.

Then again, she may not be that greedy. Or she just might be blurting out song lyrics. Not sure which.

5. Send a computer to Jack if you have the money, Santa.

Sure a computer might be expensive and bulky. But if Santa will give one, it'll be for the whole family, not just the kid.

Sure a computer might be expensive and bulky. But if Santa will give one, it’ll be for the whole family, not just the kid.

6. Someone seems worried that Santa would get stuck in the chimney.

Uh, I'm sure Santa will have no problem coming down chimneys. But the kid makes an excellent point.

Uh, I’m sure Santa will have no problem coming down chimneys. But the kid makes an excellent point.

7. Dear Santa, if you don’t give me what I want, I will hunt you down and kill you.

Santa, you might want to give the little girl what she wants. Because she certainly means business. Then again, I don't think Santa and his reindeer could die.

Santa, you might want to give the little girl what she wants. Because she certainly means business. Then again, I don’t think Santa and his reindeer could die.

8. Dear Santa, I’ve been a good boy this year so why did you give me stupid presents?

Boy, seems like Johnny was very disappointed with what he got for Christmas. And he doesn't seem to take it well.

Boy, seems like Johnny was very disappointed with what he got for Christmas. And he doesn’t seem to take it well.

9. So, Santa, how are things at the North Pole.

Well, at least this one is friendly. But the Hot Topic gift card request kills me.

Well, at least this one is friendly. But the Hot Topic gift card request kills me.

10. Dear, Santa, if you’re real, please prove it to me.

Good luck with asking proof from Santa that he exists. Still, you can't really blame the kid for trying.

Good luck with asking proof from Santa that he exists. Still, you can’t really blame the kid for trying.

11. Dear Santa, I’ve been okay this year, here’s what my family wants for Christmas.

This little girl even listed her home and cell number to Santa. I think Santa doesn't need to know that.

This little girl even listed her home and cell number to Santa. I think Santa doesn’t need to know that.

12. Dear Santa, bring me toys or I will hurt Rudolph further.

The kid even has a graphic of Rudolph's nose in a box. Still, I don't think that'll sway Santa.

The kid even has a graphic of Rudolph’s nose in a box. Still, I don’t think that’ll sway Santa.

13. Dear Santa, just sand me Hannah Montana everything.

I'm sure this letter was written before 2013 when Miley Cyrus's Hannah Montana was extremely popular with young girls. Yet, her wholesome image would soon change after her Disney Channel show ended.

I’m sure this letter was written before 2013 when Miley Cyrus’s Hannah Montana was extremely popular with young girls. Yet, her wholesome image would soon change after her Disney Channel show ended.

14. This year Lucy wants a bank account and a slim body and not get the two mixed up.

I'm sure Lucy's wishes echo what a lot of adults want for Christmas. However, I'd just ask for the fat bank account.

I’m sure Lucy’s wishes echo what a lot of adults want for Christmas. However, I’d just ask for the fat bank account.

15. This kid seems to have a lot of questions about Santa.

Yet, little Spencer still sneaks in what he wants for Christmas. Still, this is cute.

Yet, little Spencer still sneaks in what he wants for Christmas. Still, this is cute.

16. Dear Santa, give me a camera because I want one.

Well, at least this kid gets straight to the point. Didn't really say why though.

Well, at least this kid gets straight to the point. Didn’t really say why though.

17. Santa, bring me a smartphone and something for my brother, too.

Judging from the crayon, I think she might be a bit young for a smart phone. But at least she keeps her brother in mind.

Judging from the crayon, I think she might be a bit young for a smart phone. But at least she keeps her brother in mind.

18. Santa, please give me Hannah Montana concert tickets and here’s why.

Looks like this little girl really did her homework on the music business. Like how she talked about scalpers.

Looks like this little girl really did her homework on the music business. Like how she talked about scalpers.

19. Please give me Yu-gi-oh for Christmas to impress the boys.

I guess this girl really has some inadequacy issues. Hey, girl, you don’t need to impress boys to be fulfilled in life. Also, how old are you?

20. Seems like this kid wants a bunch of hunting equipment for Christmas.

I think this guy might be a little old to write to Santa. Still, if he wants all that stuff for Christmas, he could easily go to places like Gander Mountain or Cabela's.

I think this guy might be a little old to write to Santa. Still, if he wants all that stuff for Christmas, he could easily go to places like Gander Mountain or Cabela’s.

21. Dear Santa, I want a lot of things for Christmas, does 39 items seem too much?

Guess this girl has a long list of what she wants for Christmas. But yes, 39 is a bit much.

Guess this girl has a long list of what she wants for Christmas. But yes, 39 is a bit much.

22. Dear Santa, if you bring anything with batteries make sure they’re included.

At least this seems pretty reasonable. Having gifts that require batteries that aren't included is a real pain in the ass.

At least this seems pretty reasonable. Having gifts that require batteries that aren’t included is a real pain in the ass.

23. Dear Santa Claus, give me $5.3 billion.

I'm sure people would want $5.3 billion at some point. But I think asking for a few hundred is much more reasonable.

I’m sure people would want $5.3 billion at some point. But I think asking for a few hundred is much more reasonable.

24. Dear Santa, please give me Taylor Swift tickets, Nordstrom clothes, and a boyfriend.

On second thought, the boyfriend seems more reasonable than the other two. However, dating doesn't work this way.

On second thought, the boyfriend seems more reasonable than the other two. However, dating doesn’t work this way.

25. Santa, I’m perfectly fine with getting coal and spending time with my family but I enjoy opening presents.

Seems like she's really buttering the big guy up. What a way to sneak it in, girl.

Seems like she’s really buttering the big guy up. What a way to sneak it in, girl.

26. Since Mommy’s on a diet, is Cheez-Its all right with you?

To be fair, kids don't understand much about nutrition. Also goes on to talk about pets.

To be fair, kids don’t understand much about nutrition. Also goes on to talk about pets.

27. For Christmas I’d want a stuffed chicken.

So this could mean a delectable dish or taxidermy. Hope it's the former. Because taxidermied animals are creepy.

So this could mean a delectable dish or taxidermy. Hope it’s the former. Because taxidermied animals are creepy.

28. Looks like the game cops and robbers has become more advanced these days.

Wonder what asking for such police stuff says about our culture these days. I think handcuffs would've been more reasonable.

Wonder what asking for such police stuff says about our culture these days. I think handcuffs would’ve been more reasonable.

29. Santa, this year I want a puppy, a real puppy, not a stuffed one.

As we all know, puppies make terrible Christmas gifts since many would prefer to pick the animal. But this kid doesn't understand that.

As we all know, puppies make terrible Christmas gifts since many would prefer to pick the animal. But this kid doesn’t understand that.

30. Dear Santa, please take everyone’s guns away.

Hey, kid, maybe you should ask Santa for reasonable gun control laws like universal background checks and an assault weapons ban. No need to resort to drastic measures.

Hey, kid, maybe you should ask Santa for reasonable gun control laws like universal background checks and an assault weapons ban. No need to resort to drastic measures.

31. Dear Santa, send diapers for my baby brother.

I'm guessing this kid is at least pre-school age. From how I look at it. The incident with the pee is disgusting.

I’m guessing this kid is at least pre-school age. From how I look at it. The incident with the pee is disgusting.

32. Santa, give me a puppy. By the way, you suck.

This kid doesn't seem very happy. Yeah, please rub it in Santa's face, how could you?

This kid doesn’t seem very happy. Yeah, please rub it in Santa’s face, how could you?

33. Dear Santa, either turn me into a dragon or give me a pet dragon.

Sure dragons may be cool. But that doesn't mean you'd want one. Just read Harry Potter or any fantasy story. Besides, they're mythical creatures anyway.

Sure dragons may be cool. But that doesn’t mean you’d want one. Just read Harry Potter or any fantasy story. Besides, they’re mythical creatures anyway.

34. Dear Santa, I’m beginning to wonder about your elves’ work quality.

Well, elf competency concerns is reasonable. Too bad that a lot of the products this kid describes is probably made from cheap labor in an Asian nation.

Well, elf competency concerns is reasonable. Too bad that a lot of the products this kid describes is probably made from cheap labor in an Asian nation.

35. This Christmas give a turtle since they’re cool.

Sure turtles may be cool in their own way. They're also a lot of work and aren't very nice.

Sure turtles may be cool in their own way. They’re also a lot of work and aren’t very nice.

36. Santa, is it true you’re not coming to my house because Obama got reelected?

From reading this, I wonder what this kid's parents listen to. I'm sure they voted for that steaming piece of shit Donald Trump this year.

From reading this, I wonder what this kid’s parents listen to. I’m sure they voted for that steaming piece of shit Donald Trump this year.

37. Santa, if you give anyone a monkey, it will be bad.

At least the kid knows a think or two about why keeping exotic pets is a bad idea. If I had a kid who wants a monkey, they could forget it.

At least the kid knows a think or two about why keeping exotic pets is a bad idea. If I had a kid who wants a monkey, they could forget it.

38. Dear Santa, please don’t give me a little sister in 2 years.

I'm sure Samantha won't like it if her mom has to tell her she's pregnant. That won't go well.

I’m sure Samantha won’t like it if her mom has to tell her she’s pregnant. That won’t go well.

39. Santa, could you get me a couple of things for Christmas? Here’s a list.

Note: When a letter to Santa says, "Flip page" you can tell it's not just a couple of things. Yeah, kid has a long list.

Note: When a letter to Santa says, “Flip page” you can tell it’s not just a couple of things. Yeah, kid has a long list.

40. Dear Santa, please give me these presents for my life depends on it.

I'm sure this kid won't get a lot of these presents. And it's not going to be the end of the world. Though there always has to be one who makes everything seem dramatic.

I’m sure this kid won’t get a lot of these presents. And it’s not going to be the end of the world. Though there always has to be one who makes everything seem dramatic.

41. Haven’t been too good this year, but could you send me a LEGO train anyway.

Uh, doesn't Santa give presents to the good kids? Not sure if this child knows how it works.

Uh, doesn’t Santa give presents to the good kids? Not sure if this child knows how it works.

42. Dear Santa, could you give me superpowers if possible?

Sorry, kid, but superpowers don't work that way. You can't just ask Santa for them.

Sorry, kid, but superpowers don’t work that way. You can’t just ask Santa for them.

43. For Christmas this year I want hair like Rapunzel.

No, kid, you don't want 5 feet long hair. Because you'd probably have to spend a lot on hair care products and hours brushing it.

No, kid, you don’t want 5 feet long hair. Because you’d probably have to spend a lot on hair care products and hours brushing it.

44. No, Santa, I didn’t mean that. I would never do that.

From PopSugar: "Dear Santa, sorry for saying, 'I'm going to punch you in the face!' I would never do that because I am a good boy and I know hitting is wrong. Love, Ryder."

From PopSugar: “Dear Santa, sorry for saying, ‘I’m going to punch you in the face!’ I would never do that because I am a good boy and I know hitting is wrong. Love, Ryder.”

45. Here’s all the stuff I want for Christmas.

Man, those look pretty expensive. But at least she's smart to use the Wal Mart catalog.

Man, those look pretty expensive. But at least she’s smart to use the Wal Mart catalog.

46. Dear Santa, how do you get into my house?

I'm guessing this kid's family doesn't have a chimney. I'm sure Santa has other ways.

I’m guessing this kid’s family doesn’t have a chimney. I’m sure Santa has other ways.

47. Dear Santa, please help the homeless and here’s what I want.

Sure the kid may want Santa to help the homeless. But everyone has a list of their own toys.

Sure the kid may want Santa to help the homeless. But everyone has a list of their own toys.

48. Santa, my dad talked about the Krampus and he gave me nightmares.

Either this girl is scared of the Krampus or she's using the monster as a bargaining chip. Not sure which.

Either this girl is scared of the Krampus or she’s using the monster as a bargaining chip. Not sure which.

49. Dear Santa, please give me $100 and a $50 gift card and it cant’ be to food places.

This girl really doesn't mess around. Also wants to be able to paint her nails.

This girl really doesn’t mess around. Also wants to be able to paint her nails.

50. Dear Mr. Claus, I’ve been very bad so please send me coal.

This is certainly not from a kid but a CEO of a coal company. And no, Santa, coal won't teach him a lesson. How about give him a possible long jail sentence for environmental and worker safety violations?

This is certainly not from a kid but a CEO of a coal company. And no, Santa, coal won’t teach him a lesson. How about give him a possible long jail sentence for environmental and worker safety violations?

51. What I want for Christmas is a McDonald’s in my neighborhood.

I'm not sure what to think of this. Because a McDonald's is one of the last things I'd want in my community.

I’m not sure what to think of this. Because a McDonald’s is one of the last things I’d want in my community.

52. Dear Santa, can you send me a mixed elf on the shelf?

Yes, I know there are plenty of families that do Elf on the Shelf. But to be honest, Elf on the Shelf is creepy which is why I like to make fun of it around the holidays.

Yes, I know there are plenty of families that do Elf on the Shelf. But to be honest, Elf on the Shelf is creepy which is why I like to make fun of it around the holidays.

53. Dear Santa, I don’t ask for much. Maybe about 100 things.

Uh, asking for 100 things is going way overboard. How about you narrow it down a bit?

Uh, asking for 100 things is going way overboard. How about you narrow it down a bit?

54. Santa, if you can please don’t send me any clothes!

Yeah, we all know kids don't like getting clothes for Christmas. They're not fun like toys. But kids have no idea that they need them.

Yeah, we all know kids don’t like getting clothes for Christmas. They’re not fun like toys. But kids have no idea that they need them.

55. Give it to me straight, Santa, am I on the naughty list?

Well, that might be a good question. But would you really want to know?

Well, that might be a good question. But would you really want to know?

56. Dear Santa, is it true you read all the letters because I doubt it.

Well, at least this girl is being reasonable about the letters. Yet, she still made a list.

Well, at least this girl is being reasonable about the letters. Yet, she still made a list.

57. Dear Santa, I’ve been good this year. I’ve brought beer to my dad from the fridge.

To be fair, this girl may not understand that bringing beer for Daddy from the fridge may not be a good idea. This is especially if Daddy has a problem.

To be fair, this girl may not understand that bringing beer for Daddy from the fridge may not be a good idea. This is especially if Daddy has a problem.

58. If Santa was wise, he might consider giving this kid a dictionary for Christmas.

I don't expect these letters to be grammatically sound with proper spelling. But this one contains the words "slay" for "sleigh" and "rape" for "wrap." So it's pretty noteworthy for a post like this.

I don’t expect these letters to be grammatically sound with proper spelling. But this one contains the words “slay” for “sleigh” and “rape” for “wrap.” So it’s pretty noteworthy for a post like this.

59. Dear Santa, sorry for being bad but could you give me a few things.

You know these kind of letters are usually followed by a long list. Yeah, those aren't just a few things.

You know these kind of letters are usually followed by a long list. Yeah, those aren’t just a few things.

60. Dear Santa, I have a few questions to ask.

I'm sure Santa could answer those for you soon. And yes, he will be quiet, believe me.

I’m sure Santa could answer those for you soon. And yes, he will be quiet, believe me.

61. Dear Santa, can you please bring me pizza?

If you want pizza, there are better ways than asking Santa for it. How about calling your local pizza place?

If you want pizza, there are better ways than asking Santa for it. How about calling your local pizza place?

62. Dear Santa, please, please, please give me these things.

Hey, kid, you don't need to say please all the time. I'm sure Santa understands.

Hey, kid, you don’t need to say please all the time. I’m sure Santa understands.

63. Santa better bring a pony this year.

Still, that's a terrible pony drawing. What the hell is it? Looks like some weird cartoon alien.

Still, that’s a terrible pony drawing. What the hell is it? Looks like some weird cartoon alien. Still, the kid’s not fooling around.

64. Dear Santa, I’ve been good this year since I’ve picked up a lot of crap.

Picking up dog poop is nothing to be humble about. But where I live, you don't have to do that.

Picking up dog poop is nothing to be humble about. But where I live, you don’t have to do that.

65. Santa, can you fill this questionnaire for me?

Seems like this kid wants to know a little bit more about Santa. Not sure if Santa has any time for that.

Seems like this kid wants to know a little bit more about Santa. Not sure if Santa has any time for that.

66. Santa, show yourself to me that you’re real.

Guess this kid doesn't buy in the whole Santa thing. You probably have that with kids sometimes.

Guess this kid doesn’t buy in the whole Santa thing. You probably have that with kids sometimes.

67. Dear Santa, can you send me a real pet cub, please?

I'm sure this kid will be very disappointed on Christmas. Because a real cub for Christmas is worse than a puppy. For the love of God, they grow up to be fierce wild cats. Maybe a stuffed one would be better.

I’m sure this kid will be very disappointed on Christmas. Because a real cub for Christmas is worse than a puppy. For the love of God, they grow up to be fierce wild cats. Maybe a stuffed one would be better.

68. Dear Santa, I’ve been okay but if you don’t give me anything I understand.

Well, at least this kid is trying to have a more realistic self-awareness. And at least shows appreciation.

Well, at least this kid is trying to have a more realistic self-awareness. And at least shows appreciation.

69. Dear Santa, please give me a new football because my evil little brother stole mine.

Sibling rivalries always start young, don't they? Also, probably doesn't have a chimney.

Sibling rivalries always start young, don’t they? Also, probably doesn’t have a chimney.

70. Dear Santa, I have big butts and I cannot lie…

Well, at least the kid didn't use the whole song. Because it has rather adult lyrics. But it's funny.

Well, at least the kid didn’t use the whole song. Because it has rather adult lyrics. But it’s funny.

71. Dear Santa, please send me a Venus flytrap.

Okay, other than the Venus Flytrap bit, the letter is mostly normal. However, you have to wonder about this kid when you see the illustrations.

Okay, other than the Venus Flytrap bit, the letter is mostly normal. However, you have to wonder about this kid when you see the illustrations.

72. Santa, does Rudolph have two noses?

No, Rudolph just has one nose, kid. What made you ask that question?

No, Rudolph just has one nose, kid. What made you ask that question?

73. Dear Santa, I know you’re a marketing ploy but I just want stuff or else.

The boy even says that Santa and his wife are gambling addicts and has a picture of the Grim Reaper. Also, talks about the Dolphin mafia.

The boy even says that Santa and his wife are gambling addicts and has a picture of the Grim Reaper. Also, talks about the Dolphin mafia.

74. Dear Santa, please get my boat to work for it’s just in my yard.

Too bad this kid has no idea if a boat should work, it should be in water. And please let the boat be a toy.

Too bad this kid has no idea if a boat should work, it should be in water. And please let the boat be a toy.

75. Dear Santa, give me a signed picture of you and your elves.

I don't think Santa gives out autographed photos, kid. And I'm sure elves might not be allowed to send their photos out to children either.

I don’t think Santa gives out autographed photos, kid. And I’m sure elves might not be allowed to send their photos out to children either.

76. Dear Santa, here are the things I want and can you send me Steeler stuff?

Looks like he left somethings out in his original letter. Not sure if he lives in my area since the Steelers are my local NFL team.

Looks like he left somethings out in his original letter. Not sure if he lives in my area since the Steelers are my local NFL team.

77. Santa, you’re fat you’ll be getting no cookies at my house this year.

Man, this girl says that Santa needs to lose some pounds so she and her mom are giving him veggies. Not sure if the big guy would appreciate it.

Man, this girl says that Santa needs to lose some pounds so she and her mom are giving him veggies. Not sure if the big guy would appreciate it.

78. Dear Santa, please give my brother Mitch some things since he writes bad and hates reading.

Seems like this girl doesn't have a lot of nice things to say about him. Also, she tells Santa that's not his sign.

Seems like this girl doesn’t have a lot of nice things to say about him. Also, she tells Santa that’s not his sign.

79. Dear Santa, please bring Leonardo DiCaprio to my house this year.

Sorry, but I don't think Santa could do that. Also, I'm not sure if he's cute at the moment, especially since the Revenant. But if you live in an area adversely affected by climate change, maybe he'll stop by.

Sorry, but I don’t think Santa could do that. Also, I’m not sure if he’s cute at the moment, especially since the Revenant. But if you live in an area adversely affected by climate change, maybe he’ll stop by.

80. Dear Santa, can you sign this to prove you’re real?

And I see, "Ho Ho Ho" on the line. Not sure if that's what this little boy wants.

And I see, “Ho Ho Ho” on the line. Not sure if that’s what this little boy wants.

81. Santa, can you please come before 6:00 a.m.?

Because Santa shouldn't want to wake up this early bird. Also stocking on the left.

Because Santa shouldn’t want to wake up this early bird. Also stocking on the left.

82. Santa, will you give me a second chance this year? Explain.

This kid put "yes/no" and lines for Santa to write on. Not sure if Santa wants to answer that.

This kid put “yes/no” and lines for Santa to write on. Not sure if Santa wants to answer that.

83. Santa, I just want my family to be happy and these things.

The materialism is bound to creep up somehow. It always does in these kind of letters.

The materialism is bound to creep up somehow. It always does in these kind of letters.

84. Dear Santa, I have a lot of questions to ask you.

This one asks what Santa is giving his sisters, whether his friend is on nice list and what Santa does with the gifts he can't fit in his sleigh. Also, how tall are elves.

This one asks what Santa is giving his sisters, whether his friend is on nice list and what Santa does with the gifts he can’t fit in his sleigh. Also, how tall are elves.

85. Seems like Calvin knows what he wants for Christmas.

Okay, I don't think this is from a kid. Because I don't think children would even watch The Internship that stars Owen Wilson and Vince Vaughn.

Okay, I don’t think this is from a kid. Because I don’t think children would even watch The Internship that stars Owen Wilson and Vince Vaughn.

86. Sorry, we couldn’t give you any cookies, Santa, and the gingerbread made us sick.

Well, what can I say? Shit happens. We all have Christmas disasters.

Well, what can I say? Shit happens. We all have Christmas disasters.

87. Dear Santa, I haven’t seen a reindeer so can you leave Rudolph at our house?

No, I don't think Santa will leave Rudolph. He needs his lead reindeer.

No, I don’t think Santa will leave Rudolph. He needs his lead reindeer.

88. Dear Santa, can you please send pacifiers for my sister so we can sleep?

Guess her sister really likes to make a lot of noise all the time. It's probably because she's a baby.

Guess her sister really likes to make a lot of noise all the time. It’s probably because she’s a baby.

89. What I want for Christmas this year is some toys and an AK-47.

No, you don't want to give an AK-47 for Christmas. What about a better gift like almost anything else?

No, you don’t want to give an AK-47 for Christmas. What about a better gift like almost anything else?

90. Dear Santa, there are some things I want so I devised a list for you.

This girl goes on to describe how she listed what she want. It gets pretty complicated.

This girl goes on to describe how she listed what she want. It gets pretty complicated.

91. Dear Mr. Claus, in accordance with the Christian holiday, here are the things I want for Christmas.

He goes on to say that other items would be added at a later date. So Santa should stay tuned.

He goes on to say that other items would be added at a later date. So Santa should stay tuned.

92. Dear Santa, I really want a puppy, just give me one.

Seems like this girl really wants a puppy for Christmas. As I said before, puppies make terrible Christmas gifts. Better to have her pick out her own.

Seems like this girl really wants a puppy for Christmas. As I said before, puppies make terrible Christmas gifts. Better to have her pick out her own.

93. Dear Santa, I always enjoy your presents but forgive the bad stuff I did this year.

This kid really knows how to lap it up. Also requests that Santa come when parents are sleeping.

This kid really knows how to lap it up. Also requests that Santa come when parents are sleeping.

94. Dear Santa, I’ve been good but I’m not sure about my sister.

Well, sibling problems are quite common. But this boy really wants to say his sister hasn't been that great.

Well, sibling problems are quite common. But this boy really wants to say his sister hasn’t been that great.

95. Dear Santa, please make my brother nicer and bring him back.

I don't know about you. But I worry whether this boy wants Santa to kidnap his brother. This is kind of disturbing.

I don’t know about you. But I worry whether this boy wants Santa to kidnap his brother. This is kind of disturbing.

96. This Christmas Evie’s been a bad girl but she needs presents.

But Evie doesn't being bad should disqualify her from presents. But still, this is cute.

But Evie doesn’t being bad should disqualify her from presents. But still, this is cute.

97. Dear Santa, please give me a DS, I’ll give you money.

This boy seems like a smooth talker. Wonder how far it would get him.

This boy seems like a smooth talker. Wonder how far it would get him.

98. If you want to see my Christmas list, text my dad.

Chances are this is going to be a long list. Since I know where this is going.

Chances are this is going to be a long list. Since I know where this is going.

99. Dear Santa, please leave the gifts at the door because I won’t be home for Christmas.

I suppose there are some kids who would be away for Christmas. But I'm sure Santa could manage.

I suppose there are some kids who would be away for Christmas. But I’m sure Santa could manage.

100. Dear Santa, how do you poop? Does it look different?

Uh, I think that's a question no one wants to ask. Except the kid who wrote this.

Uh, I think that’s a question no one wants to ask. Except the kid who wrote this.

Students Say the Darnedest Things

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Along with it being a month when most people take vacations, August also is prime time for back to school season or as the guy from that old Staples commercial, “the most wonderful time of the year.” So after family vacation, is back to school shopping where parents take their kids to buy the things they need for the new school year. So I thought a great way to commemorate the occasion would be a post on what students say on their tests  and  assignments. Sure you may have to wonder whether these kids are taking school seriously since most of these answers are wrong as far as the teachers are concerned. Yet, these are wrong in ways that they’re kind of funny. Some of them may be by students who’ve made honest mistakes like the younger kids. Some of them may be by complete smartasses or people who might’ve taken the question way too literally. But at any rate, I hope parents and teachers may enjoy these answers. So for your viewing pleasure, I show them to you.

  1. Explain how zookeepers use food to help the lives of animals.
Seems like this kid is trying to see what these zoo animals are like on the inside. Not sure if that's right though.

Seems like this kid is trying to see what these zoo animals are like on the inside. Not sure if that’s right though.

2. Of course, some people still write in the section when they’re told not to.

Yeah, you may only live once. But that' doesn't mean you should write "YOLO" where you shouldn't.

Yeah, you may only live once. But that’ doesn’t mean you should write “YOLO” where you shouldn’t.

3. Guess acronyms are harder to figure out than you originally thought.

No, I don't think PEMDAS means "Pleas Excuse My Dope Ass Swag." It's more like "Please Excuse My Dear Aunt Sally" or parenthesis, equation, multiplication, division, addition, and subtraction. It's a formula in algebra.

No, I don’t think PEMDAS means “Pleas Excuse My Dope Ass Swag.” It’s more like “Please Excuse My Dear Aunt Sally” or parenthesis, equation, multiplication, division, addition, and subtraction. It’s a formula in algebra.

4. Explain the temperature and how it relates to the football and basketball.

Then again, I wouldn't blame the kid for the answer. Mostly because this was a lame ass question which gives no information about the basketball.

Then again, I wouldn’t blame the kid for the answer. Then again, it would be funnier if the kid drew anything relating to the New England Patriots and deflated footballs.

5. Seems like a Dalek exterminated a child’s math homework answer.

Yeah, if I could figure out the area of the rectangle, I could've solved for x. Then again, the kid was probably watching too much Doctor Who.

Yeah, if I could figure out the area of the rectangle, I could’ve solved for x. Then again, the kid was probably watching too much Doctor Who.

6. Moving on to history on Martin Luther King Jr.’s “I Have a Dream” speech, what was his dream?

No, I don't think his dream had anything to do with working at Taco Bell. It had more to do with racial equality as well as ending segregation and other racist policies.

No, I don’t think his dream had anything to do with working at Taco Bell. It had more to do with racial equality as well as ending segregation and other racist policies.

7. Seems like this kid didn’t even bother to answer the physics question.

No, I don't think the problem has anything to do with Bruce Wayne being Batman. You don't need calculus to solve that.

No, I don’t think the problem has anything to do with Bruce Wayne being Batman. You don’t need calculus to solve that.

8. Apparently, Frankie is an honest child, maybe too honest.

Funny how this kid already knows what the world "freeloader" means. They grow up so fast.

Funny how this kid already knows what the world “freeloader” means. They grow up so fast. Or his parents are Ayn Rand libertarians.

9. Sometimes a student really wants extra credit when there is none.

Sorry, but this teacher doesn't negotiate with terrorists. And no, intimidation is no way to get extra credit.

Sorry, but this teacher doesn’t negotiate with terrorists. And no, intimidation is no way to get extra credit.

10. Apparently, the octopus seemed to come out of nowhere.

So the kid couldn't answer the question due to the octopus being in the way. Don't think the teacher bought it.

So the kid couldn’t answer the question due to the octopus being in the way. Don’t think the teacher bought it.

11. I believe this question was framed in a scientific context.

Besides, Communism only benefits everyone on paper. In practice, however, not so much as demonstrated with Russia.

Besides, Communism only benefits everyone on paper. In practice, however, not so much as demonstrated with Russia.

12. No, I don’t think sex ed is an ideal place to draw a cougar.

Even freakier is how the kid drew the eyes at the ovaries and used the rest of the uterus as a snout. Yeah, have to wonder about that kid.

Even freakier is how the kid drew the eyes at the ovaries and used the rest of the uterus as a snout. Yeah, have to wonder about that kid.

13. In geometry, all lines and shapes have meaning.

Sorry, kid, that's not how geometry works. But at least they got the line names right.

Sorry, kid, that’s not how geometry works. But at least they got the line names right.

14. Don’t judge and elementary school kid by their lack of grammar and spelling.

Yeah, I know it sounds dirtier than it should be. But the kid was talking about riding their bike for God's sake.

Yeah, I know it sounds dirtier than it should be. But the kid was talking about riding their bike for God’s sake.

15. In a student paper, you might find an occasional curse word.

I believe the term is "apeshit" in this case. Not sure what this question is really about anyway.

I believe the term is “apeshit” in this case. Not sure what this question is really about anyway.

16. Okay, that’s a bit too graphic for a presentation.

Hey, the kid's right. But that doesn't mean they should show it in graphic stick figure detail.

Hey, the kid’s right. But that doesn’t mean they should show it in graphic stick figure detail.

17. I believe it’s < or >, not “or.”

Someone doesn't seem to be following directions. Or just doesn't seem to care at any point.

Someone doesn’t seem to be following directions. Or just doesn’t seem to care at any point.

18. Someone doesn’t seem to understand their chemistry or pop culture.

No, that's not how thermodynamics or enzymes work. But the teacher did say, "nice try."

No, that’s not how thermodynamics or enzymes work. But the teacher did say, “nice try.”

19. So what happens to a boy going through puberty, according to this kid?

No, I don't think a boy enters adultery during puberty. But that's a nice plot summary to The Graduate.

No, I don’t think a boy enters adultery during puberty. But that’s a nice plot summary to The Graduate.

20. Apparently, science hasn’t been on this kid’s mind at the moment.

Sorry, but a science essay question isn't the place for such a personal insight. Still funny though.

Sorry, but a science essay question isn’t the place for such a personal insight. Still funny though.

21. Looks like a walrus found its way into this kid’s homework book.

At least this kid believes that global warming is real unlike a lot of Republican congressmen. Also, that's a nice walrus drawing.

At least this kid believes that global warming is real unlike a lot of Republican congressmen. Also, that’s a nice walrus drawing.

22. No, I don’t think the Eye of Sauron has anything to do with wearing a seatbelt.

Seems like Alex might be a little too into Lord of the Rings. Teacher is not amused.

Seems like Alex might be a little too into Lord of the Rings. Teacher is not amused.

23. Sorry, kid, but this is science class, not English Lit.

I believe the correct answer is the electromagnetic force since it's stronger than gravity. But that's just relating to the laws of physics.

I believe the correct answer is the electromagnetic force since it’s stronger than gravity. But that’s just relating to the laws of physics.

24. Sometimes one kid unscrambles the wrong word.

I believe the word is supposed to be "this." But it does have the same letters as "shit" just in a different arrangement.

I believe the word is supposed to be “this.” But it does have the same letters as “shit” just in a different arrangement.

25. Apparently, one student couldn’t get past their perception of Asian stereotypes to answer.

The correct answer is "D" the monthly car payment. Because it's at a fixed rate. Besides, a lot of Asians do drive. Get a grip, kid.

The correct answer is “D” the monthly car payment. Because it’s at a fixed rate. Besides, a lot of Asians do drive. Get a grip, kid.

26. Once again, spelling errors should be taken into consideration here.

I think the right word is "pencils" not "penis." Cora probably doesn't know what the latter term means by this point in her life. Because she's only in kindergarten.

I think the right word is “pencils” not “penis.” Cora probably doesn’t know what the latter term means by this point in her life. Because she’s only in kindergarten.

27. Describe a plant cell.

No, I don't think an imprisoned flower is what the teacher had in mind. Perhaps they should think of what they saw in their science book.

No, I don’t think an imprisoned flower is what the teacher had in mind. Perhaps they should think of what they saw in their science book.

28. List 4 ways people communicate other than through mail.

Well, all answers are technically correct. However, the Grindr one is pretty disturbing since it's a gay male dating site. Wonder where this kid learned about that.

Well, all answers are technically correct. However, the Grindr one is pretty disturbing since it’s a gay male dating site. Wonder where this kid learned about that.

29. The answer relating to the differences between the February and October Revolutions is simple.

The correct answer was that the February Revolution overthrew the Russian Royal family. The October Revolution saw the rise of the Bolsheviks. Either way, the kid wasn't completely wrong about the dates.

The correct answer was that the February Revolution overthrew the Russian Royal family (which actually took place in March but Russians still used the Julian Calendar). The October Revolution saw the rise of the Bolsheviks (which actually took place in November). So the kid is dead wrong either way.

30. What’s the highest noise frequency a human can register?

Not sure if Mariah Carey is right. But seems like this kid might feel that way.

Not sure if Mariah Carey is right. But seems like this kid might feel that way.

31. Someone doesn’t seem to like doing their math homework.

Not sure what some of this is supposed to say since it's written differently. But the hangman picture speaks for itself.

Not sure what some of this is supposed to say since it’s written differently. But the hangman picture speaks for itself.

32. Sorry, but algebra isn’t a place for opinions.

Man, this kid is a real smart ass. And seems to get a lot of answers wrong in the process.

Man, this kid is a real smart ass. And seems to get a lot of answers wrong in the process.

33. I don’t think the teacher was thinking about that kind of transformer.

Then again, some people could only name such transformers like Optimus Prime. This teacher was thinking about something used at a power station.

Then again, some people could only name such transformers like Optimus Prime. This teacher was thinking about something used at a power station.

34. How long does it take a jumping armadillo to land on its feet?

Sorry, kid, but armadillos do jump when startled. But not 18 feet unlike what the problem says.

Sorry, kid, but armadillos do jump when startled. But not 18 feet unlike what the problem says.

35. Describe hidden curriculum.

Well, that's one way of answering the question. But not exactly what the teacher was looking for.

Well, that’s one way of answering the question. But not exactly what the teacher was looking for.

36. Name one measure to prevent flooding in the Mississippi River Valley.

No, I don't think "big dames" is going to solve that problem. Then again, the kid might've meant, "big dams." But that didn't protect against Katrina in 2005.

No, I don’t think “big dames” is going to solve that problem. Then again, the kid might’ve meant, “big dams.” But that didn’t protect against Katrina in 2005.

37. List 3 ways on why removing hedges is a bad idea.

1. Farmers keep cows in through fencing. 2. It's very unlikely cars would run into the fields unless it was under an enchantment or driven by a drunk driver. 3. Why do you care?

1. Farmers keep cows in through fencing. 2. It’s very unlikely cars would run into the fields unless it was under an enchantment or driven by a drunk driver. 3. Why do you care?

38. Describe a vibration.

Unfortunately, the Beach Boys hit, "Good Vibrations" has nothing to do with the science of sound. Was a great catchy song though.

Unfortunately, the Beach Boys hit, “Good Vibrations” has nothing to do with the science of sound. Was a great catchy song though.

39. When this girl grows up, she wants to be like her mommy.

Like how the mother added a letter explaining that she works at the Home Depot, not at a strip club. But I'm not sure if I really buy that because stripper moms do exist. And the picture seems to suggest the mother works at a strip club.

Like how the mother added a letter explaining that she works at the Home Depot, not at a strip club. But I’m not sure if I really buy that because stripper moms do exist. And the picture seems to suggest the mother works at a strip club.

40. Sketch a human body and locate the following glands.

Guess this was not what the teacher had in mind when it came to the endocrine system. But this kid sure has a talent for drawing.

Guess this was not what the teacher had in mind when it came to the endocrine system. But this kid sure has a talent for drawing.

41. In case I get this test wrong, here’s a picture of a giraffe.

Seems like the teacher appreciated it. Nevertheless, it probably didn't matter much.

Seems like the teacher appreciated it. Nevertheless, it probably didn’t matter much.

42. I believe this kid is talking about horses not whores.

Yes, it reads very funny in an adult's eyes. But this child just doesn't know how to spell horses and is not talking about prostitution.

Yes, it reads very funny in an adult’s eyes. But this child just doesn’t know how to spell horses and is not talking about prostitution.

43. How do you identify athlete’s foot?

In a way, yes. But athlete's foot is a fungal foot disease which doesn't look pretty.

In a way, yes. But athlete’s foot is a fungal foot disease which doesn’t look pretty.

44. Deserts are hot and cold so name a hot one and a cold one.

I believe the word was "desert" not dessert. But this kid doesn't seem to know the difference, apparently.

I believe the word was “desert” not dessert. But this kid doesn’t seem to know the difference, apparently.

45. Describe what an antonym means.

Antonym means opposite. It doesn't describe a person's name for crying out loud.

Antonym means opposite. It doesn’t describe a person’s name for crying out loud.

46. How did the Romans transport water?

The correct term is "aqueduct" not an "aqua duck." But I can see what the student might've gotten the idea.

The correct term is “aqueduct” not an “aqua duck.” But I can see what the student might’ve gotten the idea.

47. Why did Archimedes shout “Eureka” while in the bath?

No, it had something to do with buoyancy, kid. But I give some points on creativity.

No, it had something to do with buoyancy, kid. But I give some points on creativity.

48. Apparently, this kid views the uterus as some monster from a horror movie.

Sorry, but I don't think the female reproductive system works that way. But great drawing, though.

Sorry, but I don’t think the female reproductive system works that way. But great drawing, though.

49. You have to wonder what children are learning from their parents these days.

I guess the teacher will be writing to this child's parents sometime soon. Because I don't think that's a word that should be on a reading assignment.

I guess the teacher will be writing to this child’s parents sometime soon. Because I don’t think that’s a word that should be on a reading assignment.

50. Hope the teacher doesn’t fail this kid thanks to Borat.

Don't think Borat in his trademark swimsuit will have any effect here. Do the work.

Don’t think Borat in his trademark swimsuit will have any effect here. Do the work.

51. Sometimes students can be quite mean in their answers.

Just leave it with the water and trash thing, kid. Don't need to talk about the boy being chubby.

Just leave it with the water and trash thing, kid. Don’t need to talk about the boy being chubby.

52. Looks like someone has no idea about the states of matter.

Guess this kid wasn't entirely wrong when it came to New Jersey. Given what Bridgegate had to teach us. As for California, well, LA is not known for having a lot of movement on the freeways.

Guess this kid wasn’t entirely wrong when it came to New Jersey. Given what Bridgegate had to teach us. As for California, well, LA is not known for having a lot of movement on the freeways.

53. No, I don’t think this kid has any idea about bestiality.

Still, they got the question wrong at any rate. But it's still pretty funny if you're an adult.

Still, they got the question wrong at any rate. But it’s still pretty funny if you’re an adult.

54. Honestly, the kid wants to eat cake. Seriously.

Please give these students slack here. They don't seem to spell words right or have the best handwriting. So sometimes the words may come out wrong.

Please give these students slack here. They don’t seem to spell words right or have the best handwriting. So sometimes the words may come out wrong.

55. When it comes to US Capitalism, sometimes students can have rather interesting theories.

This was written by a college student. Apparently, he describes how America was ruled by Prince Charles and how Osama Bin Laden killed Tupac and how Saddam Hussein killed Princess Di. Yeah, it's that bad.

This was written by a college student. Apparently, he describes how America was ruled by Prince Charles and how Osama Bin Laden killed Tupac and how Saddam Hussein killed Princess Di. Yeah, it’s that bad.

56. He may be good at chemistry but he has other things on his mind.

At least this guy doesn't neglect his studies by goofing off. However, the bonus one, kind of pushing the envelope.

At least this guy doesn’t neglect his studies by goofing off. However, the bonus one, kind of pushing the envelope.

57. Apparently, stick figure violence doesn’t intimidate this teacher.

Well, I would give him credit on the Pacman answer even though the correct answer is a solid. However, not sure about the stick Indian.

Well, I would give him credit on the Pacman answer even though the correct answer is a solid. However, not sure about the stick Indian.

58. No, I don’t think Pikachu’s thundershock will make you ace this test.

However, it does look pretty good even if it's not finished. But the teacher won't be amused.

However, it does look pretty good even if it’s not finished. But the teacher won’t be amused.

59. Seems like Aaron Rodgers might want to stay out of the woods until his career’s over.

According to this kid, bears eat Green Bay Packers. So Rodgers better watch his back.

According to this kid, bears eat Green Bay Packers. So Rodgers better watch his back.

60. No, I don’t think El Nino is that dramatic, but Jeremy’s essay would make a great disaster movie.

This guy talks about El Nino like it's Clash of the Titans. No, Jeremy, that's not how it works.

This guy talks about El Nino like it’s Clash of the Titans. No, Jeremy, that’s not how it works.

61. Explain the Madisonian model of government.

No, that's not quite it. Seems more like Stand Your Ground to me.

No, that’s not quite it. Seems more like Stand Your Ground to me. Perhaps they should elaborate more.

62. Well, at least the kid isn’t failing health class.

Sure the correct answer might be 2. But it's super hard to argue that this kid is wrong. They did the math.

Sure the correct answer might be 2. But it’s super hard to argue that this kid is wrong. They did the math.

63. Sorry, Matthew but Charizard is no match for Blastoise.

Teacher knows what they're talking about. Guess math isn't Matthew's thing.

Teacher knows what they’re talking about. Guess calculus isn’t Matthew’s thing.

64. Seems like someone has been watching too much of the History Channel.

No, aliens aren't responsible for everything. Seriously, it's bullshit on the History Channel which hasn't been known for its educational programming.

No, aliens aren’t responsible for everything. Seriously, it’s bullshit on the History Channel which hasn’t been known for its educational programming.

65. I have to agree this kid has a point.

Sure they may know the right answer. But they added it may not be the case since amputees exist.

Sure they may know the right answer. But they added it may not be the case since amputees exist.

66. If your answers aren’t correct, you can always count on Perry the Platypus.

And it seems like Perry helped. Then again, it was probably due to the student's own efforts.

And it seems like Perry helped. Then again, it was probably due to the student’s own efforts.

67. At times you kind of wish you’d answer an essay question like this.

Yeah, I kind of feel the same way when it comes to stories I had to read that I wasn't emotionally invested in. But that's what school is like sometimes.

Yeah, I kind of feel the same way when it comes to stories I had to read that I wasn’t emotionally invested in. But that’s what school is like sometimes.

68. Sorry, but Darth Vader is from Star Wars not Star Trek.

Sure Vader has a deep voice but he's not a Star Trek character. Saying he's from Star Trek will result in a sci-fi convention in furor.

Sure Vader has a deep voice but he’s not a Star Trek character. Saying he’s from Star Trek will result in a sci-fi convention in furor.

69. Apparently, this diagram doesn’t show the nice side of giraffes.

You kind of get the idea that this kid saw how giraffes were heartless creatures. Then again, sometimes nature is like that.

You kind of get the idea that this kid saw how giraffes were heartless creatures. Then again, maybe the short neck giraffe should’ve found another tree.

70. Could a man still reproduce with one ball?

While not entirely wrong, this answer isn't entirely right either. Because even if a guy has a testicle, he could still reproduce. (as long as it's functional).

While not entirely wrong, this answer isn’t entirely right either. Because even if a guy has a testicle, he could still reproduce. (as long as it’s functional).

71. Describe hard water.

I don't think that's what the teacher had in mind. It probably has to do with chemical properties.

I don’t think that’s what the teacher had in mind. It probably has to do with mineral content.

72. Sorry but I don’t think Lady Gaga is a hermaphrodite.

Hope Lady Gaga doesn't get offended. Then again, I could see why that kid came up with that conclusion.

Hope Lady Gaga doesn’t get offended. Then again, I could see why that kid came up with that conclusion.

73. Write about a Chinese immigrant’s experience in the 1870s.

Well, that's one way to answer the question. However, not sure what my Chinese viewers will think about this.

Well, that’s one way to answer the question. However, not sure what my Chinese viewers will think about this.

74. I think many adults would say the same thing.

Kid seems to know their history, particularly what happened to Lincoln at Ford's Theatre. Yeah, I could see where they 're getting at.

Kid seems to know their history, particularly what happened to Lincoln at Ford’s Theatre. Yeah, I could see where they ‘re getting at.

75. Sometimes driver’s ed could have interesting characters.

Actually, night would be more appropriate. But this is still funny to read if you ask me.

Actually, night would be more appropriate. But this is still funny to read if you ask me.

76. No, that’s not how you describe a graph.

This kid seems to describe a graph like it's a work of art. It's not, it's way to display information.

This kid seems to describe a graph like it’s a work of art. It’s not, it’s way to display information.

77. Any Harry Potter fan would recognize the mark of the Deathly Hallows.

I might've said the same thing had I grew up with such a test. Still, Harry Potter doesn't have much place in geometry.

I might’ve said the same thing had I grew up with such a test. Still, Harry Potter doesn’t have much place in geometry.

78. Fill in the solution about falling down at the playground.

Well, at least that kid has a point. But they probably haven't heard about First Aid.

Well, at least that kid has a point. But they probably haven’t heard about First Aid.

79. Is Steve speeding? Yes or no.

Yes, Steve could find out on his speedometer but that's beside the point. The correct answer is yes.

Yes, Steve could find out on his speedometer but that’s beside the point. Do the math.

80. I’d have to wonder about this child.

I don't think a teenage death match on reality television is going to cut it. It may not be ethical.

I don’t think a teenage death match on reality television is going to cut it. It may not be ethical.

81. This bacterium is about to get funky.

Sorry, but bacteria don't break dance. Pretty hilarious though.

Sorry, but bacteria don’t break dance. Pretty hilarious though.

82. Sorry, I don’t think this teacher is amazed by rainbows, ponies, and turtles.

Still, those are great illustrations. But this is a biology test for God's sake.

Still, those are great illustrations. But this is a biology test for God’s sake.

83. Unfortunately, Jesus was not a Civil War hero.

Jesus lived in 1st Century Palestine during the Roman Empire. The American Civil War took place in the 1860s. And it wasn't between China and Pakistan.

Jesus lived in 1st Century Palestine during the Roman Empire. The American Civil War took place in the 1860s. And it wasn’t between China and Pakistan.

84. Mr. Gibson, I’m afraid that your child isn’t doing well in American History at the moment.

Like how the teacher said, "Are you crazy? See me." Yeah, that should be a red flag.

Like how the teacher said, “Are you crazy? See me.” Yeah, that should be a red flag.

85. I believe the correct term is “dwarf.”

This answer is quite crazy. I know you'd laugh if you heard something like that, too.

This answer is quite crazy. I know you’d laugh if you heard something like that, too.

86. Guess this kid couldn’t brainstorm verbs.

Guess this kid couldn't get that song out of their head. You've probably read it like that, too.

Guess this kid couldn’t get that song out of their head. You’ve probably read it like that, too.

87. Seems like someone doesn’t like failing a test.

I know a teacher would be freaked out by that image. Seems like someone is going to notify their parents.

I know a teacher would be freaked out by that image. Seems like someone is going to notify their parents.

88. I don’t think those were the heavy metal symbols your teacher was looking for.

This is chemistry class, not music class. Those heavy metal symbols are wrong. They should be element letters.

This is chemistry class, not music class. Those heavy metal symbols are wrong. They should be element letters.

89. This ninja will not tolerate a bad mark on this test.

The other ninja has a red pen. And the red pen is more powerful.

The other ninja has a red pen. And the red pen is more powerful.

90. Seems like this kid didn’t understand the question.

The correct answer is a park because it's an outdoor venue. But yes, you can't circle a tornado.

The correct answer is a park because it’s an outdoor venue. But yes, you can’t circle a tornado.

91. Sometimes asking kids to write a story to the problem is going way too far.

Yes, the answer is correct. But if a guy has more than one girlfriend at the same time, that's a problem.

Yes, the answer is correct. But if a guy has more than one girlfriend at the same time, that’s a problem.

92. The panda will cry if this kid gets a bad grade. Teacher doesn’t care.

Love the picture of the panda eating bamboo. But the kid should've studied their math before the test.

Love the picture of the panda eating bamboo. But the kid should’ve studied their math before the test.

93. No, I don’t think he got fired over something like that.

I guess the guy got fired because he got his science wrong such as warm air rises but cold air sinks. Not because he banged his boss's wife.

I guess the guy got fired because he got his science wrong such as warm air rises but cold air sinks. Not because he banged his boss’s wife.

94. Guess someone sees themselves as a cool bird.

Well, at least the kid is better at drawing than I am. But I don't think that's the right answer.

Well, at least the kid is better at drawing than I am. But I don’t think that’s the right answer.

95. Sorry, but this is chemistry not the Lion King.

But I can see where they got their answer. However, this doesn't mean the phrase means no worries for them.

But I can see where they got their answer. However, this doesn’t mean the phrase means no worries for them.

96. Ninja asks to give 100%.

And it seems like the kid got the grade plus 2 bonus points. The ninja did it.

And it seems like the kid got the grade plus 2 bonus points. The ninja did it.

97. In this kid’s world, bacon is always the answer.

Unless if it's referring to Jupiter. Because bacon has nothing to do with it.

Unless if it’s referring to Jupiter. Because bacon has nothing to do with it.

98. Why use milk when a child’s been poisoned?

No, I don't think so. But that's a close answer. It might have something to do with the poison's chemistry.

No, I don’t think so. But that’s a close answer. It might have something to do with the poison’s chemistry.

99. This kid is almost there on this long test.

And Gandalf seems to appear out of nowhere in red pen saying, "You shall not pass!" Poor kid.

And Gandalf seems to appear out of nowhere in red pen saying, “You shall not pass!” Poor kid.

100. Do not write your essay on this space.

There always seems to be that one student who breaks that rule. Hope it doesn't lead to getting points deducted.

There always seems to be that one student who breaks that rule. Hope it doesn’t lead to getting points deducted.

The Ripped Off World of Bootleg and Knock Off Toys

Legal Disclaimer: The following is post that’s meant for entertainment purposes. It does not endorse or condone the production or sale of knockoff and bootleg toys or other merchandise. Bootleg products are inferior in quality and are unsafe for anybody to handle in any way. Bootleg toys are a danger to children since they tend to be made from easily breakable plastic, contain loose magnets or springs, or use potentially dangerous lead paint. Besides, kids don’t like them. Also, counterfeit merchandise of any kind is illegal for they cut into legitimate company profits, cause licensing costs to rise, and potentially undermine a brand’s value. Do not buy them for kids under any circumstances. Nor buy any bootleg merchandise whatsoever. Buy real merchandise of quality and don’t waste your money. Thank you.

To the manufacturer, bootlegs, knock offs, and counterfeits are the bane of one’s existence. To consumers, they are cheap rip offs of questionable quality. But like them or hate them, such products have been around for decades. In the days before merchandising, you might find unlicensed toys and other items at your local grocery store or 5 and dime. Local companies would manufacture these items in small enough numbers that they’d slip past by most  lawyers’ notice. However, during the 1950s, Superman’s success on TV led DC Comics to clamp down hard on unlicensed products featuring their characters. Fortunately for the makers, they’d let anyone put Superman on any stupid thing for a couple of bucks. Nevertheless, like their designer counterparts, bootleg and knock off merchandise has a limited production run. And there are plenty of collectors who love knockoff toys that a lot of bootleg toys have become worth more than the real thing due to their rarity. Generally, knock offs tend to rip off something for a cheaper price that’s similar enough for you to buy it but different enough so the manufacturers won’t get carded or sued. And many of these products are of varying quality that you’ve probably seen in grocery stores, dollar stores, street vendors, or in some foreign country. Some bootleg toys are almost a replica of the real thing. Others just make you scratch your head on their existence. At any rate, in this post, I intend to show you some of the most bizarre bootleg and knock off toys to ever hit the shelves mostly less inspired and more god awful. So for your reading pleasure, I give you the greatest toys from the hell of unlicensed products. Or heaven according to your point of view since a lot of them tend to be unintentionally hilarious.

 

  1. If you like Superman and the Flash, look no further.
I call him Super Flash. Because he looks like Superman and is dressed in a Superman outfit. But has Flash colors.

I call him Super Flash. Because he looks like Superman and is dressed in a Superman outfit. But has Flash colors.

2. From Star Wars Episode 1, I give you a one of the kind Mace Window action figure.

And he has a yellow lightsaber when his is supposed to be purple. Also, looks a lot like Mace Windu of the Jedi Council.

And he has a yellow lightsaber when his is supposed to be purple. Also, looks a lot like Mace Windu of the Jedi Council.

3. If can’t get a Terminator action figure, this Terminate and Destroy one is the next best thing.

From the Fwoosh: "Ah, very clever. Instead of using Ahnold’s face on the package, they used Jean-Claude Van Damme, and instead of using Jean-Claude”s face on the figure, they used your dad’s! Lawsuit dismissed!"

From the Fwoosh: “Ah, very clever. Instead of using Ahnold’s face on the package, they used Jean-Claude Van Damme, and instead of using Jean-Claude”s face on the figure, they used your dad’s! Lawsuit dismissed!”

4. For Batman fans, you’ll certainly want this action figure.

Oh, wait that's Superman. And he comes with automatic weapon accessories. If we learned from Man of Steel, we know that Superman's very capable of killing his own kind with his bare hands.

Oh, wait that’s Superman. And he comes with automatic weapon accessories. If we learned from Man of Steel, we know that Superman’s very capable of killing his own kind with his bare hands.

5. Can’t afford a Ninja Turtle for your nephew’s birthday? Perhaps this Mouse Master and Turtles figure will do just fine.

And it's a bird of prey with a cane. Then again, as a Ninja Turtles villain, this is good enough. After all, they can eat turtles.

And it’s a bird of prey with a cane. Then again, as a Ninja Turtles villain, this is good enough. After all, they can eat turtles.

6. I know a very popular action figure is of your friendly, neighborhood Spiderman.

Doesn't help that by line on the packaging says, "Come on enjoy the pleasure together!" What? Also comes with automatic weapon accessories. Not sure which is more disturbing.

Doesn’t help that by line on the packaging says, “Come on enjoy the pleasure together!” What? Also comes with automatic weapon accessories. Not sure which is more disturbing.

7. Want a Furby but can’t afford one? Well, that’s where Mog Gwai comes in.

Guess "Mog Gwai" means in another language "Furbies that are legitimately creepy." Seems like these will not make your day.

Guess “Mog Gwai” means in another language “Furbies that are legitimately creepy.” Seems like these will not make your day.

8. Fans of Pokemon might appreciate this plush Pokymon Pikachu.

Guess this is a Jamaican Pikachu. Has the power of electric shock as well as smokes ganja and listens to reggae music.

Guess this is a Jamaican Pikachu. Has the power of electric shock as well as smokes ganja and listens to reggae music.

9. There is no girl from the 1990s who’d not want a Lisa Frank backpack.

However, this isn't the kind of backpack you'd want to buy for a little girl. Unless her name happens to be "Anus" which is unlikely, hopefully.

However, this isn’t the kind of backpack you’d want to buy for a little girl. Unless her name happens to be “Anus” which is unlikely, hopefully.

10. Like Power Rangers? Well, check out these action figures.

I'm sorry but the Power Rangers don't look like that. These are Batman figures in yellow and green. Seriously, why?

I’m sorry but the Power Rangers don’t look like that. These are Batman figures in yellow and green. Seriously, why?

11. This Batman action figure comes with his own horse.

Uh, does Batman even have a horse? Not in the bat cave. And no, he's not known as "Silver Bat."

Uh, does Batman even have a horse? Not in the bat cave. And no, he’s not known as “Silver Bat.”

12. The future of law enforcement is Robert Cop 2.

Robert Cop 2? You mean Robo Cop. Yeah, I know you get silly names like these.

Robert Cop 2? You mean Robo Cop. Yeah, I know you get silly names like these.

13. Ninja Turtles fans you can your very on Ninja Turtles gun.