The Patchwork World of Quilts

Posted by historymaniacmegan on December 31, 2016

My aunt made this quilt herself before she gave it to me one Christmas. Here I have it draped on a chair for this post.

Now that winter’s here, it’s not unusual for anyone to curl up with a warm blanket from time to time. Many times people would prefer a quilt, comforter, or a coverlet on their bed. How a quilt differs from other blankets is that it’s usually composed of 3 layers of fabric or fiber. These traditionally consisted of a woven top cloth, a layer of batting or wadding, and a woven back combined sewing these 3 layers together. Occasionally, they could be tied together with knots. While quilts have usually been used as bedcovers functional or otherwise, they’re also frequently displayed as decorative works of art. And if you look on Pinterest or this post, you’ll surely see what I’m talking about. Though the top layer on the quilt usually has the most decoration which could be a pattern of stitching or a patchwork pattern like the one above. And sometimes they could be seen to serve another non-functional purposes like the AIDS Memorial Quilt that lists the names of people who lost their lives to HIV. Yet, you can see many in museums and at craft festivals throughout the year. So for your reading pleasure, I bring you an assortment of crazy and amazing quilts.

Why stick with a pattern when you can stick with a color scheme.

And I guess this is in a rainbow scheme. Well, the patterns are certainly pretty.

2. With this quilt, you can be transported to Moulin Rouge.

However, we should note that these women wore split crotch underwear (and not for sexual purposes either). So you can see why that dance was considered obscene in the 19th century.

3. For quilting, the more colors the better.

And does this sure dazzle. No, you’re not on drugs. But I really love this pattern.

4. How about some time on the beach?

Of course, you wouldn’t want to bring a quilt to a beach. But this is surely an incredible quilting landscape to behold.

5. These woodland creatures are all in funky colors.

Well, I won’t just feature quilts on here. This is a table runner. Still, like the squirrel.

6. This African quilt seems like it’s straight from the Savannah.

Hey, quilting isn’t just a European thing. Still, you have to admire the dazzling work on this. The twig for display is perfect.

7. Make sure you keep your flowers dry.

Uh, I think you don’t need an umbrella for the flowers. Because they’d need the water anyway. Unless you live in an area that always rains.

8. Spirals and stars, a great quilt they always make.

Another quilt in a rainbow color scheme. But this one is in a star configuration.

9. One can never have too many things on one big bookshelf.

Well, this one has a lot of books with toys in between. Got to keep it quaint and adorable.

10. A quilter’s patchwork home is her castle.

Well, this is certainly a quilter’s castle here. So stunning and so lovely. And it seems someone fell into the moat.

11. There’s nothing more beautiful than a desert sunrise.

Except possibly a desert sunset. But you have to admire how it almost looks like a painting. But yes, it’s a quilt.

12. Every quilting square can always have its unique pattern.

I guess this one uses floral and trees. Not sure if it’s for summer or fall. Might go either way.

13. During the summer, a gardener’s work is never done.

Well, this one has a lot of summer motifs. Love the flower bouquet.

14. There’s always more to these rolling hills.

Yes, this is another quilting landscape. But this one makes it more apparent if you look at the sky.

15. Only a waterfall can remind you of tranquility.

Now this one almost looks like a painting you’d almost see in a museum. But yes, it’s a quilt if you zoom in more. Beautiful.

16. You wouldn’t believe the kind of birds on these trees.

You wouldn’t believe the kind of leaves either. Love the blue owl and flowers.

17. Mind if I play a game of Tetris?

Okay, Tetris is a computer game. But you can easily see why it makes an ideal quilting subject.

18. If you like the minions then you’ll fall in love with this mini quilt.

Or maybe not, if you find them annoying. But still, these are quite adorable. So cute.

19. Be the master of your domain with this regal quilt tapestry.

This one even depicts a fire breathing blue dragon. Not sure about the sun and moon fabric though.

20. Always keep your border stars in a loop.

Especially when it pertains to rainbows like in this one. Still, I’m not sure if I can get enough of these.

21. This bookshelf looks so antique.

I know it’s another bookshelf quilt. But this one seems more suited for a study.

22. Here we come across a sunset at a pond.

Or is it a pond? It’s so hard to tell the difference between the two, Then again, it could be a marsh. Nevertheless, it’s stunning.

23. One roll of film can preserve so many memories.

But not as much as a digital camera. And you can’t do a quilt pertaining to that.

24. Guess this is quite a whimsical neighborhood.

Well, this seems like it’s straight out of a Dr. Seuss acid trip. But it’s surely adorable.

25. I guess this is one quilter’s tribute to Japan.

Because we have Mount Fuji, a red rising sun, and Godzilla. The Godzilla is a biggest giveaway.

26. In this quilt, all the animals are in their proper place.

This one has an interesting barn window scheme. But at least the dog is in the forefront.

27. With flower fabrics who knows what kind of patchwork you’d make.

This one uses flowers in an interesting flower wreath. Love it.

28. What wonders you can make with triangles and squares.

Yes, this is another rainbow pattern. But this one uses thin triangle and checker rings to form a star.

29. You never know what kind of stuff you’ll find under the sea.

Though you may not find mermaids you’d find on this quilt. Because mermaids are only found in myths and fantasy.

30. You can have so many photographs and memories on one bookshelf.

And yes, the photographs can really take up space. Still, this is quite lovely for a quilt design.

31. It always takes a lot of colors to make a sky at dusk.

And this one uses plenty that it seems a bit surreal. But you can surely tell it’s a quilt for sure.

32. These sunflowers always thrive in the light.

This one also uses a lot of patchwork for its background. But it’s more apparent when you see some of the fabric patterns.

33. You always have to love it when the sun breaks out in the forest.

Yes, you may think it’s a painting. But it’s a quilt and a damn beautiful one at that.

34. There’s no bigger statement for peace on earth than this.

Sure it may be a rainbow peace sign that you’d associate with hippies. But each square on this has a unique pinwheel pattern.

35. Morning glories always look lovely in the moonlight.

Wait, a minute, morning glories don’t bloom at night. But it’s still beautiful nonetheless.

36. Birds in the winter snow are always a sight to see.

And here we come to birds at the feeder. Hope the cardinals and the blue jays can watch out for the owls.

And here we come to birds at the feeder. Hope the perching birds can watch out for the owls.

37. This quilt will surely be a sewer’s delight.

Well, this is just full of quilting stuff. But I’m sure die hard quilters would enjoy it.

38. Here we are gathered with women by the lake.

This one is done by some artist. But at least this one pays attention to diversity. Well, sort of.

39. Isn’t it a wonder to behold a mountain and rolling hills?

This one uses all kinds of fabric for a painting effect. Not sure about the lone trees standing.

40. Bask in the glory of the animals of Africa.

This one surely has a lot of squares dedicated to animals in Africa. Love the background.

41. Guess the Seven Dwarves are engaging in the Seven Deadly Sins.

Yes, the dwarves surely have a naughty side to them. But then again, greed is kind of understandable since they work in a mine.

42. There’s nothing stunning like a canyon waterfall in autumn.

Well, it certainly looks like it. Sure it seems like a painting. But you can easily see the stitching if you look close enough.

43. A spring garden is always in its glory in May.

Because an April garden looks like shit since it’s early spring and rains a lot. Love the flowers though.

44. The sun’s energy brings nature’s bounty.

As you can see within the embroidered strips. All in all, this is beautiful.

45. A shelf should always be filled with memories.

This one even includes photos possibly translated from computer to fabric. One even includes the 3 Stooges.

46. A tree can have leaves of so many colors.

And I’m not just talking about fall colors either. Since this includes pink and blue, too.

47. A flower bouquet could fit in any basket.

Well, they sure have a wide variety of styles. Can’t exactly say which one is the prettiest.

48. Sometimes with patterns it helps to start small.

I’m not sure if minimalistic is the way to go. But, hey, whatever works.

49. A moon phase quilt brings in the glory of the night.

Well, this one surely has the moon phases and the dark sky. Love the snowflake stars.

50. If you love pansies, then you’ll enjoy this quilted heart.

Love the floral background on this. Like especially how all the flowers in this wreath are purple, too.

51. These women look stunning in their patchwork dresses.

Didn’t know you can do sophisticated folk art on a quilt, did you? Still, I don’t think they’ll conform to the ball dress code.

52. A coral reef is beaming with ocean life and color.

However, be aware that climate change has wiped out a lot of reefs through coral bleaching. So a scene like this may not be around in a few decades.

53. One quilt can always consist of a variety of patterns.

Maybe not in this case. But I do love the colors on this. Great for any modern style apartment.

54. Autumn leaves always bring fall into the air.

Love the rainbow background squares. Since most of the leaves on here are brown, yellow, and orange.

55. With strips of fabric you can make your own sensational flower.

And each petal is unique in its own way. Love this style.

56. A quilt like this always carries a rustic touch.

This one features farms as you can see. Not sure what to think about the dome one though. Such an unusual shape.

57. Check out this quilted mountain majesty.

This one even has blue flowers on a hillside. Love the background though.

58. A forest can always look glorious in the sunrise.

Well, it certainly seems like the kind you’d see in a painting. Love how they used different pieces of fabric for the hills.

59. A quilt like this shows Africa is a true carnival of animals.

This one has the kind of animals you’d see on the Savannah. And yes, a lot of these are on the Endangered Species list.

60. Bet you’ve never seen a canyon like this before.

And I’m not kidding. Love how the sun is on the face. Love the river.

61. There’s nothing fun like rainbow spirals.

Well, that’s an interesting configuration. Love the design. Sure to be a real winner.

62. You have to love how a full moon looks in a frozen river.

Then again, the water may not be frozen. But you have to love this one, especially when it pertains to the moonlight.

63. Now this is what I call patchwork in modern art.

And she seems to be holding a snake. Still, if Picasso did quilting, he’d probably do something like this.

64. You can even get a more colorful array with a few more trimmings.

This one an improvement on a previous quilt. Love the rainbow scheme as always.

65. A landscape quilt like this is nothing but a stunner.

Well, it seems to be of the plains. And as someone from western Pennsylvania, it looks rather flat.

66. Never saw a necktie maze before.

Yes, some quilters use neckties for their projects. After all, it’s just another piece of fabric.

67. If you like Japanese art, this quilt is just for you.

The female figures are a dead giveaway. Love the scenery.

68. A blue heron is a glorious bird on a quilted tapestry.

This one even uses strips of cloth to show the scenery. Lovely.

69. There’s nothing more quaint than a village on a hill.

Well, you’d never see a colorful village like this. But it doesn’t hurt to dream.

70. A small honey pot can come in so many colors.

Doesn’t hurt that each one is shaped like a bear. But c’mon multicolored honey, please.

71. It’s always amazing what you’d find in the ocean.

This one is also quite stylized. But it’s quite a cool quilt to look at. Love it.

72. You can always find a lot of fancy fans.

Each of them has their unique design. Love the purple background and floral patterns especially.

73. There’s nothing like this quilt that pays tribute to the 4 seasons.

Well, as far as personifications go. Honestly, I think this quilter might’ve been on acid.

74. It’s almost as if you can see the plants talking.

Okay, maybe not like this. Yet, I kind of find this amusing and disturbing at the same time.

75. You can always use different patterns to create a picture.

Sure it might make your eyes sore. But it represents an interesting configuration that I just had to include it.

76. This canyon waterfall is always a wondrous sight.

This is so lovely. Guess it could be some kind of oasis in the desert. Or the Grand Canyon.

77. There’s nothing more idyllic than an old mill and bridge.

Well, it surely looks like a painting. But it was a real patchwork to bring it together.

78. You can never lay your eyes on something as stunning as a redwood forest.

Of course, this is probably a quilt depicting some place out west that will probably be damaged by wild fire. Because I know they don’t see as much rainfall there.

79. You can make a geometric scene with so many small shapes.

Doesn’t hurt if it’s in rainbow. Love how all the colors all come together.

80. Nothing beats the view of this seaside mountain town.

Love the beautiful sunset of the mountain. Heard this is from somewhere in the northwest.

81. Hope you can gaze on this patchwork octopus.

The octopus doesn’t seemed stitched on at all. Like the water and tentacles.

82. This tree only seems swept by the wind.

Guess this is an autumn tree since it barely has any leaves. But it’s surely captured moving in the wind’s direction.

83. There’s nothing so magnificent like crashing waves.

This is especially so during a sunset. Love the rocky beach and the tide.

84. Pansies can always be pretty in patchwork.

And I’m sure not kidding here. Almost seems like it’s coming together. Love the purple flowers though.

85. Each quilting square here has its own North American bird.

Of course, this is a winter scene as you see. Like how some of them are couples with families.

86. A quilt like this surely gives you butterflies.

After all, this quilt features butterflies in so many colors. None of which you’d find in real life.

87. You never know what you’d find under the sea.

Sure it can look like a thriving place in some areas. But you have to mind the plastic, the bleaching, and ocean acidification.

88. I’m sure you’d find this quilted robot particularly badass.

Who says quilts had to be boring? This robot even has spikes. Don’t want to get near that.

89. Here we come to a mountain range during a spring melt.

Well, that sure seems like a lovely scene. Hope not to see something like this until March.

90. With so many diamonds and other pieces, you can make a real patchwork star.

And boy, does this look stunning? Love the pieces on this. Though it’s not as easy on the eyes.

91. Now this is a quilt you’d want on a camping trip.

And yes, this is a camping quilt. Love the camping shelter and campers.

92. How about a magical winter snow scene?

As you see, this is from the mountains. Love the purple mountains majesty and the trees.

93. This cross quilt is surely a holy sight.

Well, you can easily say that Christianity is its own patchwork. Still, make sure it doesn’t touch the floor.

94. A quilt like this can bring sweet music to Old McDonald.

Ant it seems like Old McDonald gave his livestock acid. That’s why the sheep are all different colors.

95. All life always dwarfs around a tree.

Though it’s not without showing the fruits and flowers of nature. Like the birds, too.

96. When you look around the birds and the trees can be all kinds of colors.

Now that’s quite a sight to see. The leaves are just as colorful as the birds on this one.

97. It’s always peaceful near a quiet river.

Though quiet rivers do have their moments occasionally. But this seems simply serene.

98. A bouquet of flowers should always stand out on the quilted tapestry.

This one even has a cat and an arch with vines. But the roses are gorgeous.

99. Any quilt always has to be as pretty as a peacock.

This one seems quite flashy with embroidery and silk. But I adore it nevertheless.

100. There’s nothing like a sunset between 2 trees.

And yes, this is certainly a sight for any photo or painting. But it’ll sure melt your heart as much it’ll warm your body.

The Squeaky Clean World of Shower Curtains

Posted by historymaniacmegan on December 29, 2016

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Shower curtains provide a critical purpose in the bathroom. First, they help ensure privacy when one is in the shower (assuming that one’s not transparent like the one above). Second, they keep the water coming from the shower from splashing everywhere in the bathroom. Of course, it’s no surprise that many shower curtains are made from waterproof materials like vinyl or plastic. At my house, there’s a shower curtain with 2 layers that consist of a thinner decorative one as well as a plastic one designed to keep the water. And you have to make sure the inner white layer goes into the tub. At any rate, most shower curtains usually have a plain, geometric, or ocean design. Sometimes they’re clear plastic like this one above as well. But though I can go all about showing the great shower curtains, you’ll most likely be bored to tears. So instead, I’ll devote this post to some of the crazy ones. Many of these might consist of shower curtains you’d want but know that it would not go well with the guests or the children.Then again, there may be other reasons. So for your reading pleasure, I bring you an assortment of some of the great curtains for your bathroom.

There’s nothing more badass than a bear on top of a shark.

Helps that the bear is standing upright on a tidal wave with an assault rifle. This is hilarious.

2. Who’s that coming from the shower?

I’m sure this is from a horror movie of some sort. But yes, it looks kind of scary. Guaranteed to help guests with constipation.

3. A shower curtain like this shows us the wonders of the universe.

I bet any money that Dr. Neil Degrasse Tyson has a shower curtain like this in his bathroom. Or he’d want to have one like this.

4. As we all know, unicorns always have rainbows coming from their butt.

If you’re a demented girl that enjoys cutesy fantasy stuff and bathroom jokes, I have your answer. Seriously, you’d totally want this.

5. There’s nothing brighter in the bathroom like a curtain of neon colored giraffes.

No, this isn’t an acid trip. It’s a real shower curtain depicting neon giraffes. I’m sure if they were on the Savannah, you’d be able to see them from miles away.

6. Looks like this bathroom has a problem with zombie infestation.

Don’t worry, it’s just a zombie shower curtain. But on the bright side, it’s guaranteed to help with constipation.

7. This cat means serious business.

Here we have a kitty on a unicorn with laser eyes that shoots fire through its nostrils. Even funnier the cat carries a golden handgun. This is brilliant.

8. Remember to never stop dreaming.

Even if your dreams pertain to a pirate giraffe riding a flying shark. Okay what the fuck?

9. Here we have Jesus on the shore.

There were quite a few good Jesus ones that would’ve been funnier. But I couldn’t save them at a suitable size. So this is as good as you’re going to get on this post.

10. While Apple as the iPod, a high tech bathroom has this curtain.

It’s called the iPood. And it’s not something that you should do in the shower. Nor should the iPeed.

11. Never saw a T-Rex on a bicycle before.

Yes, I know it’s quite ridiculous. But so is the notion of Jurassic Park. And despite that many would want think bringing back dinosaurs may be awesome, we should understand why it may not be a good idea.

12. Remember the shower doesn’t double as a urinal.

Remember despite how tempting it may be, don’t pee in the shower. Shower is for cleaning. Not for taking a whizz.

13. In case you don’t know how to text pictures, this shower curtain has emoticons.

Well, emoticons are things you type to express feelings. Nowadays, emojis have made that almost antiquated.

14. My, that seems like a dignified portrait of Keith Richards.

Of course, we should all know that despite all the things he did to himself, he’s still alive. And he’s outliving so many celebrities. We can’t explain it.

15. Well, well, well, what the hell happened here?

Yes, it’s a bloody shower curtain you’d expect to find in a serial killer’s bathroom. Sure to freak out your guests and make a great Halloween decoration. Also helps with constipation.

16. Is there something burning from the tub?

$Relax, it's just a shower curtain with red flames. But where I live, it might make people think your water supply has been fracked.$

Relax, it’s just a shower curtain with red flames. But where I live, it might make people think your water supply has been fracked.

17. How about a shower curtain of the world?

Note that borders in some regions might be subject to change. This is particularly true in Eastern Europe, the Middle East, and Africa.

18. Barbie can kick a unicorn’s ass if you let her.

The unicorn can even puke a rainbow, too. Imagine that. Still, hilarious.

19. Nothing makes a guy more manly than punching a grizzly bear.

Yet, a manlier man has enough common sense to avoid one as much as possible. Because disturbing such animals has very unfortunate implications.

Yet, a manlier man has enough common sense to avoid one as much as possible, especially if it’s a mama and her cubs. Because disturbing such animals has very unfortunate implications.

20. You have to admit, this sloth really knows how to pole dance.

Not bad for an animal who only climbs out of a tree to go to the bathroom. Still, I couldn’t leave this sloth stripper out. This is just so funny as hell.

21. Don’t mind this deep sea diver feeding the fishes.

You know most animal places have rules against feeding the animals. The ocean should be no different.

22. This deep sea diver can even punch a shark.

Scratching the shark’s eye would’ve done the trick. But it wouldn’t look nearly as awesome.

23. You see, I told you rhino horns have special properties.

Okay, rhino horns may not sprout rainbows in the cosmos. But this is just too funny to miss. Love it.

24. Perhaps you might want some llama fries with that.

Well, they’re llamas in a French fry container. I know it doesn’t make sense but it’s pretty funny.

25. This cat knight rides to adventure on his noble narwhal.

I guess he rides in the water without a breathing apparatus. Still love how the cat has a bridal and saddle on the narwhal.

26. There’s nothing more beautiful than abstract clouds.

Or as I call it an acid trip. But you can see all the pretty infrared colors quite clearly.

27. Hope this T-Rex remembers to scrub its ribs.

Not sure what to think about the T-Rex skeleton in the shower. But at least it can scrub its back.

28. Remember to check for a killer in the shower before going to the bathroom.

Okay, that may not make your guests very comfortable. But it’ll sure help them with constipation.

29. Space Cat always explores and goes where no cat has gone before.

I’m sure people would like seeing a cat in an astronaut suit. Yes, it’s ridiculous. But what’s not to love?

30. Sailors might want to beware of this undead mermaid.

To be fair, mermaids weren’t originally seen as benevolent beings. And many were said to lure sailors to their doom. Just saying.

31. I believe something went wrong in this shower.

Well, this is more of a take off of a web page from Internet Explorer. Yes, this page can’t be displayed.

32. Wonder what your toothbrush and toilet roll say to each other.

Sorry, but the toilet paper is right. The toothbrush doesn’t have the worst job ever.

33. This goldfish has a brilliant disguise.

Sorry, but that’s not going to work. Then again, the goldfish could be compensating for something.

34. Jesus, it’s raining cats and dogs.

Well, in this case quite literally. Not sure if the umbrella will provide protection from that.

35. Here we come to a lovely scene of cats on the beach.

I’m sure cat lovers will go all gaga with this. I especially like the cat holding binoculars.

36. I suppose this is a poster for Moby Dick.

Yes, it’s in a Jaws poster rendition. But it involves a wooden ship and a white sperm whale.

37. Show your pride of the South with this Confederate flag shower curtain.

However, this will not make you endearing to black guests in any way, shape, or form. Seriously, such products like these show that institutional racism is alive and well in America.

38. Seems like someone’s washing windows.

Well, that’s quite clever. Not sure about depicting it a a shadow though.

39. Fans of the Empire Strikes Back would want a shower curtain of Dagobah.

However, hope that you emerge from the shower not smelling like you’ve been to Dagobah to learn the ways of the Force. Yeah, that place probably doesn’t smell great at any stretch of the imagination.

40. Enjoy the great taste of Coca Cola or blood.

Yes, that’s Janet Leigh from Psycho shortly before she’s murdered in the shower. Yeah, I know it’s demented but it’s quite unique.

41. With this shower curtain, you can go on social networking.

You can even have your profile picture on the left column. Of course, your Facebook page no longer looks like this anymore.

42. Bacon lovers will surely rejoice for this shower curtain.

Now that doesn’t make me feel clean. More like greasy beyond all recognition.

43. You might not want to go near here since there’s a crime investigation in process.

Well, that should keep people away from the shower. But it’s probably not 100% effective.

44. Now you can learn yoga poses while you’re on the toilet.

You have to wonder who makes stuff like this. Not sure if you can do all of them in the bathroom.

45. Men with facial hair might want to take this curtain to mind.

Kind of reminds me of the Mugshots game my sister and I used to play at my grandparents.’ Of course, there are some styles that aren’t recommended.

46. If you’re into chemistry, this shower curtain is just for you.

After all, it’s clearly meant for people who take any matter seriously. Or hold anything to be elemental. Yet, if you have a noble gas, feel free to let it out.

47. If you like to sing in the shower, you might like to sing in the rain.

I guess this is the iconic Gene Kelly pose from Singin’ in the Rain. Too bad he uses his umbrella as a dancing prop.

48. “Are you sure this water’s sanitary? It looks questionable to me.”

This is from Tarzan. But I’m sure you’ve probably asked that when the water doesn’t look normal.

49. Looks like we have a black bear peering from the fence.

If you see a bear like this in your neighborhood, you might want to call animal control. Because nothing good can come of this.

50. Between pizza and tacos, this kitty shouldn’t have to choose.

And it’s in a cosmos background. Still, this just goes beyond all explanation. But it’s brilliant.

51. Of course, you can always go with Han Solo frozen in carbonite.

However, we need to acknowledge that he suffered a worse fate in The Force Awakens. And I’m sure fans know what I mean by that.

52. I’m sure you’re just seeing things with this hallucination cat.

Yeah, I find a lot of cat curtains from Google Images. Yet, this one is purple with a mustache, glasses, and third eye.

53. “Ewoks roasting on an open fire.”

I know that plenty of Star Wars fans don’t like the Ewoks. And I’m one of the fans who do. Either way, I couldn’t pass this over.

54. Sometimes it always seems like a rush.

I’m sure plenty of people have been told to hurry up while doing their bathroom business. But this shadow uses a megaphone.

55. It seems that this whale is talented on French Horn.

This one is called “Whale Song.” I’m sure you can see why. And no, it’s not the whale song you’re thinking.

56. Seems like it’s bath time for the dogs.

Well, they sure look like corgis. But if this pertained to bigger dogs, you wouldn't be able to fit them in a tub.

But if this pertained to bigger dogs, you wouldn’t be able to fit them in a tub. Yet, I’m sure people would find this adorable.

57. Nothing captures the spirit of man like Rodin’s Thinker.

And here he is sitting on the toilet like a modern man. Except that he’s naked.

58. Uh, you might not want to meet that guy.

This is from the German silent horror movie Nosferatu. And let’s just say vampire Count Orlok is no Robert Pattinson.

59. It’s not every day you run into a beluga in the woods.

Of course, you might be experiencing an hallucination. Or looking at this shower curtain. If it’s the former, go see your doctor.

60. You might want to beware of Norman Bates in a dress while you’re in the shower.

Yes, this is definitely from Psycho. Without that movie, you’d surely wouldn’t have all these killer shower curtains. Get it?

61. This space bound hotdog is going where no wiener has gone before.

It’s even strapped to a rocket. Though I don’t think that’s an adequate space suit.

62. This creature in the woods is very good with the chemistry.

Yes, it’s a bear with antlers. And yes, it’s a takeoff on Breaking Bad. But at least this animal is brewing beer, not making meth.

63. As women know, telling men to put the toilet seat down is serious business.

Okay, maybe not threatening your man by knife serious. But yes, guys, if you live with a woman, always put down the seat after you pee. It’s just basic human decency.

64. To the Creature of the Black Lagoon, here’s the perfect woman for you.

I also heard she’s accepted a position in the Trump administration. I don’t know which one though but she’ll certainly feel right at home among the swamp cronies.

65. Oh, shit, not the giant sloth!

And I see the sloth clawing at the Titanic. I’m sure it won’t end well at all.

66. Unfortunately, Slothzilla made it up the Empire State Building.

I know it’s called Slozilla. But it reminds me much more of King Kong since it seems from the 1930s.

67. Looks like these llamas enjoy a starry night.

Or at least a backdrop of Starry Night by Van Gogh. Yet, they may seem silly but be on your guard.

68. Tragically, we find someone hanging on a noose.

Now this is just not in good taste. Seriously, hangings shouldn’t be acceptable motifs since they’re associated with suicide and white supremacist terrorism.

69. Even the Bard sometimes wondered about the simple things in life.

Well, if you’re dwelling to pee or not to pee, the answer is always to pee. After all, if you’re not dwelling on that, you probably don’t have to go.

70. Never thought a Steampunk snail can look so badass.

Oh, it’s a snail house. But don’t snails live in their shell? This doesn’t make sense.

71. Sometimes a sloth would give synchronized swimming a try.

Yes, I know this looks pretty ridiculous. But c’mon, synchronized swimming is a joke. So I think this is clever.

72. No, it’s not okay to peek when someone’s taking a shower.

Yeah, that’s not cool. Also, why is the girl wearing a dress?

73. It’s now Shower Time Cleanliness System.

This is a takeoff on the old Nintendo games. Still, video game nerds will love it.

74. Remember, having your cat on weed may seem awesome until it’s not.

Yet, I have to admit, this is quite amusing. The pipe and glasses speak for themselves.

75. Seems like some hottie just got out of the shower.

Though he didn’t take his towel off quite yet. But I’m sure some women would want him to. Great for Magic Mike and 300 fans.

76. Amity Island welcomes you. Oh, wait we’re closed.

Because there’s a shark in a water that’s been killing people during the summer. Chief Brody didn’t have any other option.

77. See, I told you Jesus saves.

Since he never misses the shots when he’s the goalie. However, he decided not to go with the hockey mask since he didn’t want to freak out anyone.

78. Could you think of anything cooler than a T-Rex in space?

However, we need to know that they have very short arms. Not great for reaching in zero gravity.

79. Unfortunately, Arles was no match for the Galactic Empire.

But at least it looks pretty on a starry night. This is especially true in a Van Gogh painting.

80. Hope you can keep this in mind when taking an elephant shit.

Still, doesn’t answer how you can toilet train an elephant though. But this is hysterical.

Merry Christmas from Our Family to Yours on Christmas Memories (Third Edition)

Posted by historymaniacmegan on December 21, 2016

Here is me and my relatives at my Aunt Mary’s on Christmas Eve around 2011, I think. Here am I on the couch with my cousins Frank and John along with their parents. The kids in front are my cousins Jenna, Aiden, Isabella, Morgan, and Sawyer.

Yes, we all have photos from Christmas since they seem to contain memories we want to last forever. This is especially when families have children since they don’t stay kids for long. Yet, as I’ve shown before in these posts, not every Christmas goes according to plan. After all, the days leading up to it can be uniquely stressful since there’s decorating, finding gifts, making the food, doing cards, and what not.Some families might take a step further and do a family portrait for their Christmas card. And there are moments when that can go horribly wrong. Yet, there are plenty of crazy family Christmas cards which people do on purpose. Not to mention, families can also take their kids to see Santa which doesn’t always turn out that well, especially if the Santa in question is quite sketchy. At any rate, for your reading pleasure, I give you another treasure trove of Christmas memories from Awkward Family Photos. Sure you might not find these in a Hallmark stock photo deck but I’m sure they’ll make you relate.

Christmas is a time of high spirits and good cheer.

Apparently, this isn’t the case with the sisters. But the brother seems happy. Though you can argue he’s just showing off.

2. Christmas is always a time for families to get together and celebrate.

Of course, for many families, this very much reflects the holiday reality. Yeah, those kids can be a real source of stress.

3. Over the holidays, sibling rivalry can sometimes spiral out of control.

As you can see, the brother puts a bowl over the baby and the baby doesn’t like it. If you think kids were brats today, this proves you wrong.

4. Ugly Christmas sweaters are always fun and festive for all ages.

I guess this kid doesn’t believe in Santa Claus anymore. Hope he doesn’t try to disillusion the classmates who do.

5. Being single can be tough over the holidays, especially if your married siblings send a Christmas card with their picture on it.

This woman did some Christmas cards of herself for years as a single woman. They often feature alcoholic drinks. This one depicts a mannequin boyfriend.

6. Seems like they had a special day to bring pets to the mall.

Okay, bringing your dog for a Santa photoshoot is one thing. Reptiles? I’m not so sure.

7. The moment you realize that your parents forgot to buy Christmas cards this year.

Yeah, reusing Christmas cards may not be the best idea. This is especially when there’s some stuff crossed out.

8. There’s no more memorable Christmas carol like, “Hark! This Herald Angel Ain’t Gonna Sing.”

Hey, even little angels can have the occasional bad attitude sometimes. They can’t all be angelic all the time.

9. The moment you realize the family Christmas card photoshoot is taking longer than your capacity to smile.

“Do we have to take it again? Oh, brother, when will this ever end?” I’m sure we’ve all been there.

10. The war of sisterly rivalry can sometimes begin when you least expect it.

At least my parents can relax because Molly and I were never like that when we were young. Still, you have to admire the parents though.

11. These kids don’t seem to look forward to Santa’s Annual Challenge.

While the two middle kids cry, the oldest brother covers his ears to drown out the sound. The baby just sits there having no idea what’s going on and pondering the meaning of life.

12. No, I don’t think that’s the right way to hold a baby.

Yeah, the father’s hand placement really doesn’t look good here. And the baby is not amused by it at all.

13. Spending the holidays alone can be a real bummer.

This is especially when you’re spending it alone in the woods drinking. Girl’s got problems.

14. “How about we all help Daddy shave?”

Now this is freaky photoshop. Yes, they had these in the 1950s, too. Don’t ask me.

15. Sometimes it’s the most unexpected gift which you treasure the most.

And this dad holds his new toilet plunger with pride. Not many men would do the same.

16. Grandma and Grandpa give you best wishes for Christmas and announce that they’ve decided to give themselves a gift to invest in the future.

I know my grandparents have put some money into their own funerals. But they wouldn’t show it on a family Christmas card. This is just insane and disturbing.

17. Sibling rivalry: they always start so young.

Yes, baby sisters aren’t always so sweet as you’d think they’d be. This baby pulls her sister’s own hair.

18. Christmas always brings tidings of comfort and joy.

Apparently, this doesn’t apply to these sisters. This is particularly the case with the youngest being knocked on the floor.

19. Sometimes accidents could happen at the most inappropriate moment.

Well, at least the baby is safe. But the older sister might not like being in the middle of it. Yeah, family togetherness has its ups and downs.

20. When you’re on call during Christmas, you can get the most interesting patients.

This was on a board in a hospital. Dr. Mest will have a lot of interesting stories to tell come January.

21. In the olden days, it was common for families having to settle for the only Christmas tree available.

This one is known as a Giant Charlie Brown Tree. Yet, unlike what to cartoon shows us, decorating it doesn’t enhance its beauty.

22. There’s nothing more devastating on Christmas than a burning gingerbread house.

Yeah, that’s not a good sight to see during the holidays. Hope this little girl doesn’t get too traumatized.

23. “This Christmas we decided to chop down a shrub to save money.”

Hey, not all evergreen trees can be triangle shaped. Still, this looks pretty ghastly if you ask me.

24. It’s not every day a rock band visits Santa Claus.

Apparently, Santa wasn’t amused by this group and having to take a photo with them. Yet, Santa would rather be photographed with a real band like Led Zeppelin or Pink Floyd.

25. Even when they’re young, sibling unrest can be rampant.

Now Bobby learns the hard way that you can’t boss your little sis for long. Or she might try to retaliate with a vengeance.

26. Seasons Greetings from the Village of the Damned.

I don’t think the dog has much long to live. Those girls have plans. Very sinister plans.

27. While selfies can be seen as enhancing one’s ego, sometimes they can be incredibly helpful.

For instance, while this holiday sweater may seem initially decent, it helps to take a closer look. Definitely not wearing that to Grandma’s house.

28. Santa has some visitors from the South Pole.

To be fair, this is from a family who has a tradition like this. Like how they have bowties on their tuxedos.

29. The moment when you and your girlfriend broke up but she still appears on your family Christmas card.

I’m sure holiday season breakups happen all the time. Still, I think it’s funny they put a sticker on the woman’s face.

30. We need to understand that not every kid looks forward to see Santa.

Yeah, this kids don’t like sitting on Santa’s lap. Meanwhile the girls beside him just smile for the camera.

31. Rachel always preferred a wooden man with a mean bite.

Well, this is awkward. Hey, I know there are plenty of girls who like the Nutcracker. But this is ridiculous.

32. Before you give gifts, always make sure they’re age appropriate first.

Because I know you don’t get a pot leaf poster for anyone under 18. But I think this is supposed to be a joke.

33. Is it just me, or does Santa not seem like his jolly old self lately?

Unfortunately, little Jimmy got stuck with the evil Santa at the mall. He hasn’t been seen since.

34. Christmas is always a time of precious moments.

Yet, in this case, I don’t think little Brittany is holding her brother like that because she loves him. Quite the contrary. Her parents might want to get her some psychiatric testing.

35. There’s always that one angel.

The blond girl is like, “Perfect little angel? My ass.” Yeah, really not in the angelic spirit.

36. “We just had some problems with the Christmas wrapping.”

Grown people dressed as elves for Santa. Not sure what to think about that. Might be less lame if they dressed as elves from Lord of the Rings.

37. Okay, baby, tell us how you really feel about family Christmas card photoshoots.

I guess baby Gabriel couldn’t keep it to himself. Yes, I know photoshoots are a real pain in the ass.

38. “Another blue dress shirt? Well, this sucks.”

Even funnier that this boy is already wearing a shirt like this one. Guess his aunt didn’t get the memo.

39. Seems like Santa doesn’t need a chimney to get in this house.

Because he’s apparently popped out of the attic. Okay, those are just decorations.

40. No, Grandpa, now’s not the time to give Grandma your dick in a box.

I know this is a joke that’s a takeoff from an SNL sketch. And I know I’m pushing the envelope with this one. But I couldn’t avoid including it if I tried.

41. Sometimes even Santa has moments when he questions his sanity.

In this one, Santa wonders whether he’s had too much eggnog. Or too many of Mrs. Claus’s special brownies.

42. Christmas is a time to feel the joy.

Unfortunately, this baby ain’t feeling it. Yeah, babies can be quite temperamental in these photos.

43. This year, Santa went to Whoville.

And once again, he has some interesting stories to tell about that place. Yes, this is pretty ridiculous.

44. For unto us a child is born.

However, nativity scene photo reenactments can only go so far. Having your baby play baby Jesus? Fine and perfectly normal. Having your cat play baby Jesus? What the fuck?

45. What better way to spend Christmas than for a drink among friends?

Don’t get me wrong, they’re all the same woman. Yes, doesn’t seem to be in a jolly mood.

46. Apparently, the heads seem to pop out of the stocking.

This Christmas card was made possible by photoshop and acid. Yes, they had LSD in the 1950s, too. Just ask Cary Grant who promoted it.

47. “Uh, excuse me, Santa, but I have to go to the bathroom.”

“Timmy, that’s no way how to touch yourself in public.” Then again, he doesn’t seem to be comfortable at all.

48. The family that sleeps together, stays together.

Now this is awkward. Let’s hope this one is just reserved for the kids, please.

49. Before you celebrate the holidays, be sure you get the sweater memo.

Yes, this family has the same sweater on for Christmas. But at least they have different colors according to gender.

50. Finally, Suzie has the dress for her pet monkey.

For the record, don’t keep monkeys as pets. Yes, I know they may be cute but they can inflict serious injury. Besides, they’re wild animals not meant for you dress like a doll.

51. Looks like one elf has gone postal.

Relax, these are kids just acting up. Well, at least the younger one is. The older one is trying to restrain.

52. Christmas is always a time to be merry and bright.

Unfortunately, the dogs don’t seem to be jolly. In fact, they seem to be at each other’s throats.

53. When arranging your Christmas towels, make sure they don’t spell anything unfortunate. This is especially if your name is Peterson.

Yeah, that’s really not a great Christmas message. But at least it’s an accurate one for a bathroom.

54. This Christmas, it’s the family that bathes together that stays together.

A family in a tub? Really? Do they have any idea how ridiculous that is? Hope they’re wearing swimsuits, good God.

55. Grumpy Cat really doesn’t want to pose for your Christmas card.

Like how the couple explained their cats on how they couldn’t cooperate. Yeah, cats march to a different drummer.

56. Meanwhile, at a Christmas pageant in Colorado…

Three wisemen come from the East bearing gifts of gold, frankincense, and myrrh-uana. Luckily Willie Nelson did a Christmas song on myrrh-uana on Colbert’s Christmas special.

57. “We’d like to wish our family a Merry Christmas…from Florida.”

The flamingo is not fooling anybody. Like the shark costume. And the Santa statue.

58. “Please, please, take us away from this man! Please, we beg you!”

Poor Santa doesn’t seem to know what to do here. Still, a lot of kids are scared of Santa. Remember that.

59. Nothing says Christmas like spending a day in a sauna with your family.

So the whole family is in towels? Why the hell? This is just crazy on so many levels.

60. When she said she wanted anything Frozen, she didn’t mean peas.

Any parent should know this. For God’s sake, she would’ve been happy with an Anna and Elsa notebook. She’s understandably pissed.

61. Make your season merry by dressing your family in candy cane pajamas.

Yes, they all come striped. But some are in green as well as red. Yes, this is ridiculous.

62. Unfortunately, Travis was acting up so he had to be restrained.

However, having him duct taped to a wall is kind of pushing it. Seriously, is that even necessary?

63. The family dog helped decorate the tree this year.

Okay, this is definitely photoshop. Because dogs can’t fly. But no one seems to care.

64. Merry Christmas from the stick figure kids.

I know they’re supposed to be cowboys riding horses. But this don’t look right.

65. As we all know, cauliflower faced Santa must be avoided at all times.

Yes, that’s a really sketchy Santa. I fear for the boy who’s on his lap.

66. There are some gifts for a significant other that are meant to be given in private.

This pair of candy cane boxes is among these. Yeah, I know what, “Lick Me” means.

67. That moment when the mall Santa can’t wait until his shift is up.

Yeah, he doesn’t seem to like his gig too much. Doesn’t seem to care for kids either.

68. Baby Ralphie really admires the leg lamp.

Wonder what the grandparents would think if they saw this Christmas card. This is a play off A Christmas Story.

69. Merry Christmas from the 21st century.

Yeah, it’s kind of like that. Everyone seems to be glued to their devices save the dad.

70. “How about we all try to catch the snowball?”

Well, not sure if they have a snowball’s chance in hell. But this is quite funny.

What I Want for Christmas Letters to Santa

Posted by historymaniacmegan on December 19, 2016

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Every Christmas it’s not uncommon for kids to write letters to Santa Claus on what they want for Christmas. Normally this would consist of kids writing requests for toys. But it’s not always the case. This letter above is by my cousin Ben wrote in preschool. Of course, he can be a little smartass since he’s asking for the whole kit and caboodle. Seeing this letter on Facebook got me thinking about the kind of letters kids write to Santa. Turns out the internet has plenty of letters from various sites like Buzzfeed. Anyway, for your reading pleasure, I give you a treasure trove of children’s letters to the big guy at the North Pole. In case you want to know about letters to Santa, it’s perfectly fine to send your letter to the North Pole since the United States Postal Service has their own Letters from Santa program.

Dear Santa, give me a Lady Gaga doll or I’ll break your legs.

Little Tommy isn’t fooling around either, Santa. You better give this kid a Lady Gaga doll. Sounds like a mobster at the end.

2. If you want to know what this kid wants for Christmas, here’s the link.

Makes me wonder why children don’t e-mail Santa more often. Might make Santa’s work much easier.

3. Apparently, one kid isn’t happy about Santa Claus this year.

Guess this kid saw Mommy kissing Santa Claus last Christmas. Seems to be a little Grinch in the making.

4. Well, at least this little girl is honest.

Then again, she may not be that greedy. Or she just might be blurting out song lyrics. Not sure which.

5. Send a computer to Jack if you have the money, Santa.

Sure a computer might be expensive and bulky. But if Santa will give one, it’ll be for the whole family, not just the kid.

6. Someone seems worried that Santa would get stuck in the chimney.

Uh, I’m sure Santa will have no problem coming down chimneys. But the kid makes an excellent point.

7. Dear Santa, if you don’t give me what I want, I will hunt you down and kill you.

Santa, you might want to give the little girl what she wants. Because she certainly means business. Then again, I don’t think Santa and his reindeer could die.

8. Dear Santa, I’ve been a good boy this year so why did you give me stupid presents?

Boy, seems like Johnny was very disappointed with what he got for Christmas. And he doesn’t seem to take it well.

9. So, Santa, how are things at the North Pole.

Well, at least this one is friendly. But the Hot Topic gift card request kills me.

10. Dear, Santa, if you’re real, please prove it to me.

Good luck with asking proof from Santa that he exists. Still, you can’t really blame the kid for trying.

11. Dear Santa, I’ve been okay this year, here’s what my family wants for Christmas.

This little girl even listed her home and cell number to Santa. I think Santa doesn’t need to know that.

12. Dear Santa, bring me toys or I will hurt Rudolph further.

The kid even has a graphic of Rudolph’s nose in a box. Still, I don’t think that’ll sway Santa.

13. Dear Santa, just sand me Hannah Montana everything.

I’m sure this letter was written before 2013 when Miley Cyrus’s Hannah Montana was extremely popular with young girls. Yet, her wholesome image would soon change after her Disney Channel show ended.

14. This year Lucy wants a bank account and a slim body and not get the two mixed up.

I’m sure Lucy’s wishes echo what a lot of adults want for Christmas. However, I’d just ask for the fat bank account.

15. This kid seems to have a lot of questions about Santa.

Yet, little Spencer still sneaks in what he wants for Christmas. Still, this is cute.

16. Dear Santa, give me a camera because I want one.

Well, at least this kid gets straight to the point. Didn’t really say why though.

17. Santa, bring me a smartphone and something for my brother, too.

Judging from the crayon, I think she might be a bit young for a smart phone. But at least she keeps her brother in mind.

18. Santa, please give me Hannah Montana concert tickets and here’s why.

Looks like this little girl really did her homework on the music business. Like how she talked about scalpers.

19. Please give me Yu-gi-oh for Christmas to impress the boys.

I guess this girl really has some inadequacy issues. Hey, girl, you don’t need to impress boys to be fulfilled in life. Also, how old are you?

20. Seems like this kid wants a bunch of hunting equipment for Christmas.

I think this guy might be a little old to write to Santa. Still, if he wants all that stuff for Christmas, he could easily go to places like Gander Mountain or Cabela’s.

21. Dear Santa, I want a lot of things for Christmas, does 39 items seem too much?

Guess this girl has a long list of what she wants for Christmas. But yes, 39 is a bit much.

22. Dear Santa, if you bring anything with batteries make sure they’re included.

At least this seems pretty reasonable. Having gifts that require batteries that aren’t included is a real pain in the ass.

23. Dear Santa Claus, give me $5.3 billion.

I’m sure people would want $5.3 billion at some point. But I think asking for a few hundred is much more reasonable.

24. Dear Santa, please give me Taylor Swift tickets, Nordstrom clothes, and a boyfriend.

On second thought, the boyfriend seems more reasonable than the other two. However, dating doesn’t work this way.

25. Santa, I’m perfectly fine with getting coal and spending time with my family but I enjoy opening presents.

Seems like she’s really buttering the big guy up. What a way to sneak it in, girl.

26. Since Mommy’s on a diet, is Cheez-Its all right with you?

To be fair, kids don’t understand much about nutrition. Also goes on to talk about pets.

27. For Christmas I’d want a stuffed chicken.

So this could mean a delectable dish or taxidermy. Hope it’s the former. Because taxidermied animals are creepy.

28. Looks like the game cops and robbers has become more advanced these days.

Wonder what asking for such police stuff says about our culture these days. I think handcuffs would’ve been more reasonable.

29. Santa, this year I want a puppy, a real puppy, not a stuffed one.

As we all know, puppies make terrible Christmas gifts since many would prefer to pick the animal. But this kid doesn’t understand that.

30. Dear Santa, please take everyone’s guns away.

Hey, kid, maybe you should ask Santa for reasonable gun control laws like universal background checks and an assault weapons ban. No need to resort to drastic measures.

31. Dear Santa, send diapers for my baby brother.

I’m guessing this kid is at least pre-school age. From how I look at it. The incident with the pee is disgusting.

32. Santa, give me a puppy. By the way, you suck.

This kid doesn’t seem very happy. Yeah, please rub it in Santa’s face, how could you?

33. Dear Santa, either turn me into a dragon or give me a pet dragon.

Sure dragons may be cool. But that doesn’t mean you’d want one. Just read Harry Potter or any fantasy story. Besides, they’re mythical creatures anyway.

34. Dear Santa, I’m beginning to wonder about your elves’ work quality.

Well, elf competency concerns is reasonable. Too bad that a lot of the products this kid describes is probably made from cheap labor in an Asian nation.

35. This Christmas give a turtle since they’re cool.

Sure turtles may be cool in their own way. They’re also a lot of work and aren’t very nice.

36. Santa, is it true you’re not coming to my house because Obama got reelected?

From reading this, I wonder what this kid’s parents listen to. I’m sure they voted for that steaming piece of shit Donald Trump this year.

37. Santa, if you give anyone a monkey, it will be bad.

At least the kid knows a think or two about why keeping exotic pets is a bad idea. If I had a kid who wants a monkey, they could forget it.

38. Dear Santa, please don’t give me a little sister in 2 years.

I’m sure Samantha won’t like it if her mom has to tell her she’s pregnant. That won’t go well.

39. Santa, could you get me a couple of things for Christmas? Here’s a list.

Note: When a letter to Santa says, “Flip page” you can tell it’s not just a couple of things. Yeah, kid has a long list.

40. Dear Santa, please give me these presents for my life depends on it.

I’m sure this kid won’t get a lot of these presents. And it’s not going to be the end of the world. Though there always has to be one who makes everything seem dramatic.

41. Haven’t been too good this year, but could you send me a LEGO train anyway.

Uh, doesn’t Santa give presents to the good kids? Not sure if this child knows how it works.

42. Dear Santa, could you give me superpowers if possible?

Sorry, kid, but superpowers don’t work that way. You can’t just ask Santa for them.

43. For Christmas this year I want hair like Rapunzel.

No, kid, you don’t want 5 feet long hair. Because you’d probably have to spend a lot on hair care products and hours brushing it.

44. No, Santa, I didn’t mean that. I would never do that.

From PopSugar: “Dear Santa, sorry for saying, ‘I’m going to punch you in the face!’ I would never do that because I am a good boy and I know hitting is wrong. Love, Ryder.”

45. Here’s all the stuff I want for Christmas.

Man, those look pretty expensive. But at least she’s smart to use the Wal Mart catalog.

46. Dear Santa, how do you get into my house?

I’m guessing this kid’s family doesn’t have a chimney. I’m sure Santa has other ways.

47. Dear Santa, please help the homeless and here’s what I want.

Sure the kid may want Santa to help the homeless. But everyone has a list of their own toys.

48. Santa, my dad talked about the Krampus and he gave me nightmares.

Either this girl is scared of the Krampus or she’s using the monster as a bargaining chip. Not sure which.

49. Dear Santa, please give me $100 and a $50 gift card and it cant’ be to food places.

This girl really doesn’t mess around. Also wants to be able to paint her nails.

50. Dear Mr. Claus, I’ve been very bad so please send me coal.

This is certainly not from a kid but a CEO of a coal company. And no, Santa, coal won’t teach him a lesson. How about give him a possible long jail sentence for environmental and worker safety violations?

51. What I want for Christmas is a McDonald’s in my neighborhood.

I’m not sure what to think of this. Because a McDonald’s is one of the last things I’d want in my community.

52. Dear Santa, can you send me a mixed elf on the shelf?

Yes, I know there are plenty of families that do Elf on the Shelf. But to be honest, Elf on the Shelf is creepy which is why I like to make fun of it around the holidays.

53. Dear Santa, I don’t ask for much. Maybe about 100 things.

Uh, asking for 100 things is going way overboard. How about you narrow it down a bit?

54. Santa, if you can please don’t send me any clothes!

Yeah, we all know kids don’t like getting clothes for Christmas. They’re not fun like toys. But kids have no idea that they need them.

55. Give it to me straight, Santa, am I on the naughty list?

Well, that might be a good question. But would you really want to know?

56. Dear Santa, is it true you read all the letters because I doubt it.

Well, at least this girl is being reasonable about the letters. Yet, she still made a list.

57. Dear Santa, I’ve been good this year. I’ve brought beer to my dad from the fridge.

To be fair, this girl may not understand that bringing beer for Daddy from the fridge may not be a good idea. This is especially if Daddy has a problem.

58. If Santa was wise, he might consider giving this kid a dictionary for Christmas.

I don’t expect these letters to be grammatically sound with proper spelling. But this one contains the words “slay” for “sleigh” and “rape” for “wrap.” So it’s pretty noteworthy for a post like this.

59. Dear Santa, sorry for being bad but could you give me a few things.

You know these kind of letters are usually followed by a long list. Yeah, those aren’t just a few things.

60. Dear Santa, I have a few questions to ask.

I’m sure Santa could answer those for you soon. And yes, he will be quiet, believe me.

61. Dear Santa, can you please bring me pizza?

If you want pizza, there are better ways than asking Santa for it. How about calling your local pizza place?

62. Dear Santa, please, please, please give me these things.

Hey, kid, you don’t need to say please all the time. I’m sure Santa understands.

63. Santa better bring a pony this year.

Still, that’s a terrible pony drawing. What the hell is it? Looks like some weird cartoon alien. Still, the kid’s not fooling around.

64. Dear Santa, I’ve been good this year since I’ve picked up a lot of crap.

Picking up dog poop is nothing to be humble about. But where I live, you don’t have to do that.

65. Santa, can you fill this questionnaire for me?

Seems like this kid wants to know a little bit more about Santa. Not sure if Santa has any time for that.

66. Santa, show yourself to me that you’re real.

Guess this kid doesn’t buy in the whole Santa thing. You probably have that with kids sometimes.

67. Dear Santa, can you send me a real pet cub, please?

I’m sure this kid will be very disappointed on Christmas. Because a real cub for Christmas is worse than a puppy. For the love of God, they grow up to be fierce wild cats. Maybe a stuffed one would be better.

68. Dear Santa, I’ve been okay but if you don’t give me anything I understand.

Well, at least this kid is trying to have a more realistic self-awareness. And at least shows appreciation.

69. Dear Santa, please give me a new football because my evil little brother stole mine.

Sibling rivalries always start young, don’t they? Also, probably doesn’t have a chimney.

70. Dear Santa, I have big butts and I cannot lie…

Well, at least the kid didn’t use the whole song. Because it has rather adult lyrics. But it’s funny.

71. Dear Santa, please send me a Venus flytrap.

Okay, other than the Venus Flytrap bit, the letter is mostly normal. However, you have to wonder about this kid when you see the illustrations.

72. Santa, does Rudolph have two noses?

No, Rudolph just has one nose, kid. What made you ask that question?

73. Dear Santa, I know you’re a marketing ploy but I just want stuff or else.

The boy even says that Santa and his wife are gambling addicts and has a picture of the Grim Reaper. Also, talks about the Dolphin mafia.

74. Dear Santa, please get my boat to work for it’s just in my yard.

Too bad this kid has no idea if a boat should work, it should be in water. And please let the boat be a toy.

75. Dear Santa, give me a signed picture of you and your elves.

I don’t think Santa gives out autographed photos, kid. And I’m sure elves might not be allowed to send their photos out to children either.

76. Dear Santa, here are the things I want and can you send me Steeler stuff?

Looks like he left somethings out in his original letter. Not sure if he lives in my area since the Steelers are my local NFL team.

77. Santa, you’re fat you’ll be getting no cookies at my house this year.

Man, this girl says that Santa needs to lose some pounds so she and her mom are giving him veggies. Not sure if the big guy would appreciate it.

78. Dear Santa, please give my brother Mitch some things since he writes bad and hates reading.

Seems like this girl doesn’t have a lot of nice things to say about him. Also, she tells Santa that’s not his sign.

79. Dear Santa, please bring Leonardo DiCaprio to my house this year.

Sorry, but I don’t think Santa could do that. Also, I’m not sure if he’s cute at the moment, especially since the Revenant. But if you live in an area adversely affected by climate change, maybe he’ll stop by.

80. Dear Santa, can you sign this to prove you’re real?

And I see, “Ho Ho Ho” on the line. Not sure if that’s what this little boy wants.

81. Santa, can you please come before 6:00 a.m.?

Because Santa shouldn’t want to wake up this early bird. Also stocking on the left.

82. Santa, will you give me a second chance this year? Explain.

This kid put “yes/no” and lines for Santa to write on. Not sure if Santa wants to answer that.

83. Santa, I just want my family to be happy and these things.

The materialism is bound to creep up somehow. It always does in these kind of letters.

84. Dear Santa, I have a lot of questions to ask you.

This one asks what Santa is giving his sisters, whether his friend is on nice list and what Santa does with the gifts he can’t fit in his sleigh. Also, how tall are elves.

85. Seems like Calvin knows what he wants for Christmas.

Okay, I don’t think this is from a kid. Because I don’t think children would even watch The Internship that stars Owen Wilson and Vince Vaughn.

86. Sorry, we couldn’t give you any cookies, Santa, and the gingerbread made us sick.

Well, what can I say? Shit happens. We all have Christmas disasters.

87. Dear Santa, I haven’t seen a reindeer so can you leave Rudolph at our house?

No, I don’t think Santa will leave Rudolph. He needs his lead reindeer.

88. Dear Santa, can you please send pacifiers for my sister so we can sleep?

Guess her sister really likes to make a lot of noise all the time. It’s probably because she’s a baby.

89. What I want for Christmas this year is some toys and an AK-47.

No, you don’t want to give an AK-47 for Christmas. What about a better gift like almost anything else?

90. Dear Santa, there are some things I want so I devised a list for you.

This girl goes on to describe how she listed what she want. It gets pretty complicated.

91. Dear Mr. Claus, in accordance with the Christian holiday, here are the things I want for Christmas.

He goes on to say that other items would be added at a later date. So Santa should stay tuned.

92. Dear Santa, I really want a puppy, just give me one.

Seems like this girl really wants a puppy for Christmas. As I said before, puppies make terrible Christmas gifts. Better to have her pick out her own.

93. Dear Santa, I always enjoy your presents but forgive the bad stuff I did this year.

This kid really knows how to lap it up. Also requests that Santa come when parents are sleeping.

94. Dear Santa, I’ve been good but I’m not sure about my sister.

Well, sibling problems are quite common. But this boy really wants to say his sister hasn’t been that great.

95. Dear Santa, please make my brother nicer and bring him back.

I don’t know about you. But I worry whether this boy wants Santa to kidnap his brother. This is kind of disturbing.

96. This Christmas Evie’s been a bad girl but she needs presents.

But Evie doesn’t being bad should disqualify her from presents. But still, this is cute.

97. Dear Santa, please give me a DS, I’ll give you money.

This boy seems like a smooth talker. Wonder how far it would get him.

98. If you want to see my Christmas list, text my dad.

Chances are this is going to be a long list. Since I know where this is going.

99. Dear Santa, please leave the gifts at the door because I won’t be home for Christmas.

I suppose there are some kids who would be away for Christmas. But I’m sure Santa could manage.

100. Dear Santa, how do you poop? Does it look different?

Uh, I think that’s a question no one wants to ask. Except the kid who wrote this.

The Sweet Candy World of Gingerbread Architecture

Posted by historymaniacmegan on December 16, 2016

gingerbreadhouse

Two to three years ago, I did a gingerbread house post that was more or less suited to mock the tacky houses I’ve seen on the internet. However, since gingerbread houses are all the rage at Christmas time, I plan to do a post that shows all the great houses you’d see since there are plenty from Pinterest and other websites. Anyway, though gingerbread has been around since medieval times and was used to celebrate certain occasions, gingerbread houses didn’t really become all the rage until the early 1800s in Germany after the wake of the Grimm fairy tale “Hansel and Gretel.” And we all know that fairy tale centers on two abandoned children who befall on a gingerbread house that’s actually bait for a witch’s kiddie trap. Yes, it’s disturbing. But food historians claim that people made gingerbread houses before that in Germany. Yet, these suddenly became popular during Christmas and the rest is history. Today many families built gingerbread houses this time of year as a tradition and there are even contests for it. And not all of these structures are houses either. So for your reading pleasure, I give you a treasure trove of gingerbread houses that look good enough but too pretty to eat.

A gingerbread US Capitol contains mints and plenty of frosting.

Sure it might look good on the outside. But the inside may contain a government body with a lower approval rating than pond scum.

2. In New England, a gingerbread harbor is all the rage.

Never saw something like this before. Just a dock, boat, and shops.

3. Someday your prince will come in this gingerbread Snow White’s castle.

This one has a bit of snow on it. And it seems darker than the other Disney princess castles. Maybe it’s because the Wicked Queen lives there.

4. Of course, would you like fries with this gingerbread McDonald’s?

Well, this is in a more retro style than most of the current restaurants. But it’s quite clever.

5. A Christmas house must always be decked with boughs of holly.

This one has garland on its columns. Love the red shutters and green on the windows.

6. Balconies and roofs can always be held up by candy canes.

And this fancy gingerbread house is no exception. Love the swirly design on this though.

7. A pink roof on a gingerbread house is just as sweet.

This one has some pink edging on the windows. Like the pretzel fence. Lovely.

8. This gingerbread castle would be the envy of all Candyland.

Yes, that’s certainly a very fancy castle. Or is it a village? At any rate, you have to admire the decoration.

9. A gingerbread toy shop would make you feel like a kid again.

This looks like what you’d expect from an old timey toy shop to resemble. Like that kid peering through the window.

10. A magnificent train station is always a sight to behold.

Yes, this is a rather ornate train station that almost resembles a mansion. Love the towers.

11. You’d almost think this gingerbread resort is a model.

Yes, it certainly looks like it since it doesn’t seem real Christmasy. Well, with the exception of the decorated tree.

12. This clock tower is ever befitting for one near Santa’s workshop.

It even has a snowflake on top as well as a train track. Yes, Santa would be proud.

13. Row houses always have to be well decorated in red and green.

Well, that looks quite quaint. Love how each one is decorated the same way. and red brick road.

14. With Victorian row houses, have each one stacked near a hill.

You can almost see houses like this in any old town. Like how each of them is covered in different color of icing.

15. A blue dome is always easy on the eyes.

For some reason, this kind of reminds me of a funeral home. Not sure what it is. Like the balcony roof and weather vane.

16. With this gingerbread house, you can count the days till Christmas.

Of course, advent calendars don’t start on Advent. Still ,this is adorable.

17. Chex cereal often makes great roofing material.

And it makes a more earthy look than a lot of icings. This one almost seems real.

18. A gingerbread tree house overlooks a frozen lake.

Sure it’s a small house but it has lights on the steps and stockings in front. Love it.

19. A plain blue house is better than nothing.

Yes, this might be a small cottage. But it surely looks cozy and ordinary.

20. For you maritime fans, this gingerbread lighthouse is for you.

Well, it’s surely in a seafaring style. It even has a mermaid at the lake with presents.

21. For those dreaming for a white Christmas, this is the perfect gingerbread house for you.

And by “white,” I mean a Christmas with snow on the ground. Still, not sure of what to feel about the icicles here.

22. Santa’s workshop always seems to be a festive place at the North Pole.

Well, that will surely stand out in the fog of night. But it’s surely whimsical for the holiday season.

23. High end gingerbread people have their fun at a gingerbread country club.

Well, this one looks almost real. Still, golf courses are a serious waste of space if you ask me.

24. A gingerbread house must always have a roof that stands out.

This one has tiles of pink, purple, and blue. Still, love the hearts and decorations.

25. A gingerbread tiki bar offers all kinds of drinks.

This one has a gingerbread man bartender. Sure it’s not Christmasy but I’ll allow it.

26. A red brick gingerbread house should always go with a festive roof.

If it weren’t for the Necco tiles, you’d almost think it was a scaled-down model. Love the wreath on this though.

27. Feast your sweet eyes on this lavender candy mansion.

Almost reminds me of those old estates I’ve seen in pastel colors. Still, love how it’s lavender and decorated.

28. A pink Victorian can be just as enticing and sweet.

This one even has some Christmas decoration to it. Still, if it was black, it would be a haunted house.

29. For a monumental Russian icon, you’ve never seen Moscow’s St. Basil’s Cathedral like this before.

Yes, it’s surely a Russian spectacle. It’s said that Ivan the Terrible had the architect’s eyes removed so he’d never construct another beautiful building like this.

30. A gingerbread tree house is greatly shaded with popcorn leaves.

This one is from Good Housekeeping. Sure it’s quite quaint but you have to admire the creativity that went into this.

31. A Tudor gingerbread house would withstand the test of time.

Okay, maybe not. But you have to admire how it’s made with a tunnel.

32. You may have seen a gingerbread house. How about a gingerbread shop?

Not sure which shop it’s supposed to be. But it’s certainly well made like you’d see in a movie.

33. A gingerbread sweet shop is just the ticket.

After all, gingerbread houses are pastries that are decorated with candy. Well, inedible candy that is.

After all, gingerbread houses are pastries that are decorated with candy. Well, a lot of inedible candy that is.

34. Wonder what they make in that gingerbread mill.

It’s most likely either a wheat mill or a sawmill. Either way, it’ll go great with any display.

35. You’d be hard pressed not to like this gingerbread teapot house.

Seems to remind me of something that’s straight from Alice in Wonderland. Still, I think it’s quite original for a gingerbread piece.

36. A gingerbread fire department will keep everyone safe over the holidays.

Yes, this is a gingerbread firehouse. And yes, it’s decorated for Christmas. I’m sure people will enjoy this one.

37. I didn’t know they had a Christmas tree house at the North Pole.

Yes, this is quite creative if you ask me. Like how the tree is decorated. From Good Housekeeping.

38. This gingerbread house has gingerbread men on the roof.

Not sure what to think about that. Then again, the gingerbread men are small enough to be roof tiles.

39. This gingerbread tree house comes with its own set of stairs.

Well, it surely has a more convenient way around than the other tree houses on this post. Like the wooden facade.

40. For an Old Testament flair, this gingerbread Noah’s Ark is a real treat.

However, why the lions both have manes is a mystery to me. Because the animals come in two by two that consist of a male and female. Well, female lions don’t have manes.

41. This Victorian gingerbread house looks great on a Christmas card.

This one has wreath decorations on the fence and candles in the window. Love the lattice work on the roof.

42. Every gingerbread town always needs a gingerbread library.

Well, this is kind of quaint. Love the tree, garland and wreath decorations on here.

43. A gingerbread church should always have a rose window.

Well, a rose window on the roof. Like the spire on the tower and stained glass windows as well.

44. A gingerbread town should always have a place for shops.

Well, this one seems like a place you’d find at a historical town like Gettysburg. Love the clock tower and shops.

45. Victoria’s Bed and Breakfast is a great place to stay.

Almost thought this was a Christmas village set, but it’s from Good Housekeeping. The stonework is unreal.

46. This gingerbread church is a real winter treat.

I guess this is in a Romanesque style. Like the tower and the chocolate roof.

47. Santa’s Bake Shop has something cooking this time of year.

Didn’t know Santa even had a bake shop. But this is just as well since this is made from a baked good.

48. Looks like Santa has made a visit to the White House.

This is from the Obama years since it has Bo and Sunny. Reminds me of how I’m going to miss the outgoing First Family.

49. A modern gingerbread house like this has plenty of colors.

This one has a snowy roof and stone foundation from the looks of it. Not sure if I’d want a house like that.

50. A gingerbread house should always have candy trimmings.

This one has Fruit Loops on the roof,, candy cane edging and lattice, and licorice on the tower. All in all, it’s a sweet establishment that smells of mint.

51. This gingerbread flour mill is iced in a brilliant red.

Yes, this is another mill gingerbread house. But this one is more in tune with the holiday season.

52. For a more rustic touch, this gingerbread barn is for you.

This one has some Christmas decorations. Though barns in real life usually have none if they’re used to keep animals.

53. Santa Claus comes into town on his steamboat.

Though you may see these quaint steamboats in movies, the old ones were known to be quite dangerous. Seriously, they were said to catch fire in the 19th century.

54. How about a nice cozy home in the snow?

This one seems to resemble a normal house with a unrealistically clean walk way. Though Christmas decorations are present.

55. A Tudor gingerbread house is almost a fairy tale dream.

This one seems more like a fairy tale housing complex with all the stairs and archways. Though it looks lovely just the same.

56. Seems like the gingerbread van serves treats for the holidays.

This one has its menu in rainbow fonts. Yet, I’m not sure about the ginger snaps bit.

57. This gingerbread pagoda is all dolled out for Christmas.

Aren’t pagodas supposed to be the equivalent of Buddhist temples? So why it has Christmas decorations makes no sense.

58. This gingerbread log cabin brings a rustic touch.

This one gingerbread logs with icing to fill the gaps. Not to mention, the Chex roof to top it all off.

59. Seems like we found ourselves at a chocolate White House this time.

Caption: “WASHINGTON, DC – DECEMBER 02: A chocolate gingerbread house is on display in the State Dining Room during first lady Michelle Obama’s preview of the 2015 holiday decor at the White House December 2, 2015 in Washington, DC. As part of the Joining Forces initiative, the first lady welcomed military families to the White House for the first viewing of the 2015 holiday decorations.” To be fair, a gingerbread White House is kind of a holiday tradition since the Carter Administration.

60. A gingerbread adobe is well-suited for Christmas in the Southwest.

However, we should note that it doesn’t snow a lot in New Mexico and Arizona. Though this can be forgiven with gingerbread displays.

61. This gingerbread lighthouse is a beacon of splendor.

This one has Christmas decorations near the top. Still, lighthouses are usually not brown for good reason.

62. A Victorian gingerbread house could always do with a tower.

Looks kind of what you’d expect a lot of Victorian mansions to appear in a murder mystery. Like the balconies. Not sure about the tower.

63. Fans of Despicable Me would adore this gingerbread Gru house.

This one has 2 sleighs pulled by minions as well as includes Vector from the first movie. Minion fans will find this adorable.

64. A gingerbread cathedral is a treasured holy sight through a bakery window.

I’m sure this is used in a window to advertise for a bake shop. Because creating a masterpiece like this would require special skills and God-given talent.

65. At this minion house, they all deck the halls.

This one has the Gru house in lights which the minions probably put on. Still, like how they drive and pull the sleigh.

66. With Christmas decorations, this red brick house is in full holiday spirit.

Doesn’t hurt to have Santa and his reindeer stop by either. Love the decor on the windows and balcony.

67. The people of Middle Earth will feel right at home with a gingerbread Shire.

For those who don’t know, the Shire is where the Hobbits live in their little Hobbit holes. And yes, there is a gingerbread village of these.

68. Here we have Santa sailing on the seven seas.

Santa on a wooden ship with his Christmas tree on the deck. However, it’s certainly clear he’s either running this ship by magic or with an elf crew.

69. Seems like we have some golden towers in this gingerbread palace.

Or is it a church which would make much more sense with the Christmas decorations present? At any rate, it’s surely stunning.

70. These gingerbread brownstones make a festive block.

There are even a few shops around the corner. Must be a rather bustling place.

71. A gingerbread gazebo has a Christmas tree in its center.

Well, at least it almost seems like it’s from a park. Love the decorations on here.

72. All aboard at the North Pole Station.

This one even has a train for toys like a Polar Express. This is adorable.

73. This gingerbread barn has red doors and a Christmas tree.

Even includes straw inside. Though I wouldn’t think you’d want a Christmas tree to be near animals since you’d know what they’d do with it.

74. A gingerbread shoe is guaranteed to be a good fit.

This is based off the Nursery Rhyme about an old woman who lived in a shoe with a bunch of kids. Yet, this one has a few homey touches.

75. A Christmas castle has to have all the trimmings.

This gingerbread castle even has lights coming through the windows. Like how it’s in a rather whimsical style.

76. For a fun, old-fashioned, family Christmas, you can’t do without a gingerbread Griswold house.

At first I didn’t get what it supposed to be. Then I saw the RV and beads and then it hit me. Still, this is hilarious.

77. Bet you’ve never seen a grand gingerbread house like this.

Whether it’s a mansion or hotel I can’t really say. Not that it matters one way or the other.

78. So is that how Santa sorts the toys?

For a second, I almost thought it was something you see from Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. But the toy factory thing makes more sense.

79. Now that has to be a rather ornate gingerbread structure.

Though it’s a gazebo, it has walls which confuse me. So for awhile, I thought it was a guesthouse or something.

80. Hope you enjoy a match at this gingerbread Colosseum.

It’s a gingerbread model of the Roman Colosseum where gladiators fought. Of course, there’s nothing Christmas about it but it’s architecture.

81. At Santa’s Globe Theater, all the world’s a stage.

Of course, there’s a cross section to see the seating. Yet, arrangements are mostly standing room only.

82. A gingerbread Eiffel Tower will surely wow any Parisian.

It’s the kind of building that would make you think of Paris or the French. Still, when it was originally built, people didn’t think it as a crowning achievement.

83. Those on Middle Earth might not want to see this tower watching from Mordor.

No, you really don’t want to be on Sauron’s tail. This is why the Ring of Power was so dangerous since it contained part of his evil spirit.

84. This gingerbread harbor house and lighthouse will watch for stranded sailors.

Yes, this is another gingerbread lighthouse. But at least the lighthouse is white which is an ideal color (since it has to be easily seen at night).

85. Here we come across a gingerbread castle in full Christmas glory.

Yes, I show a lot of these. But this one seems to be a palace that’s straight from the Nutcracker.

86. What’s this? The Nightmare Before Christmas in gingerbread?

This should make a lot of Tim Burton fans happy. Like how Jack is in a Santa suit.

87. A gingerbread castle like this evokes a tale as old as time.

This one is straight from Beauty and the Beast. For nothing says Christmas like Stockholm Syndrome. Still, this is my favorite Disney movie by far.

88. Game of Thrones fans would appreciate a gingerbread of Kings Landing.

Of course, a Game of Thrones Christmas episode would not be a happy one. Because it would certainly entail violence and nudity that’s within HBO standards. Expect a lot of rape and murder.

89. How about a gingerbread of George Washington’s beloved Virginia Mt. Vernon?

It’s very much like Washington’s home save that it’s brown instead of white. Still, an excellent rendition Washington would be proud of.

90. If you enjoyed Alice in Wonderland, then you’ll adore this gingerbread castle.

You can see it’s quite Tim Burtonesque. But I’m sure fans would love it just the same.

91. A gingerbread Hogwarts is a place of magic and wizardry.

This one was made by a cooking school and it shows. Love this.

92. In Philadelphia, we come across a gingerbread building symbolizing early America.

Yes, this is Independence Hall where they issued the Declaration of Independence and the Constitution. See it for yourselves.

93. A log gingerbread cabin is always great for Christmas in the mountains.

Well, this is for anyone with a rustic disposition. Though the real life equivalent would cost more than a regular house.

94. Of course, it’s only proper to have a gingerbread Downton Abbey.

After all, they have gingerbread versions of other noteworthy buildings. Still, this is great.

95. This gingerbread carousel will give you a holiday ride.

Well, at least it has Santa’s sleigh. And yes, they do these, too.

96. This gingerbread castle is great for someone who enjoys being under the sea.

Yes, King Trident’s castle is surely magnificent with gingerbread and lights. Though I don’t know about him hiring Sebastian as a babysitter.

97. For a high end holiday celebrations, this gingerbread Bitmore is for you.

The Bitmore is the North Carolina home of the Vanderbilts who built their fortune in the railroad business. Anderson Cooper is related to this family through his mother.

98. Apparently, this ship came in frosted.

Yes, this is another gingerbread ship. Though it looks quite abandoned if you get my drift.

99. In the Shire you can’t find any cozier place than Bag End.

Well, you have to admit though it’s not much to look at outside, it’s a very nice place. And only home to take outside guests when Bilbo’s not on an adventure.

100. This Buckingham Palace gingerbread is a real royal treat.

Like how this one has a lot of colorful window. Wonder how it looks when its lights are turned on. Lovely.

Frosty the Snowman and His Friends (Second Edition)

Posted by historymaniacmegan on December 15, 2016

Since snow has now come to my area with freezing temperatures, I thought it wouldn’t be more appropriate than to do some second edition posts on snowy creations. After all, though it might be the holiday season, the snow and ice will be with us for awhile. And next month, the US will say goodbye to President Barack Obama and make way for a series of unfortunate events. Besides, winter stuff is kind of expected in December since it’s the Christmas season. Anyway, though it might not be appropriate weather to build a snowman where I live, that’s not to mean they don’t pose a significance during the winter. After all, seeing one at a lawn will put a smile on your face. But as I know from two years ago, there are plenty of people who build snowmen with their own unique spin. And for your reading pleasure today, I give you another treasure trove of Frosty’s friends guaranteed to melt your heart. Because there are some things worth melting for as Olaf would say in Frozen.

Funny how I found this one up a tree.

What’s he hiding from? What’s he doing up there? And when will he get down?

2. This guy seems like a real square when you see him.

Since he’s made from snow blocks. But over time he’ll get a bit round around the edges before eventually melting into a puddle.

3. This snowman just wants to enjoy a day at the park with the kid.

You have to like how they put the snow kid in the little swing seat. That’s so adorable.

4. This woman decided to build a snowman to honor her special friend.

Unfortunately, her special four legged friend doesn’t seem too amused by her snow dog creation. Still, it’s a work of genius.

5. You can never pile enough snowballs to make a snowman.

This is supposed to be the Cat in the Hat from Dr. Seuss. However, I tend to think otherwise despite the goofy Seuss hat.

6. Seems like this snow sheik has taken to some destructive habit.

Yes, he’s taken to hookah all right, which is a kind of tobacco smoking. And yes, it’s bad for you. But stereotypes aside, this is hilarious.

7. This snow couple knows how to get the job done.

This may be seen as a cute snow couple. But I like how the snow lady wears her dress and carries a rolling pin. And how the snowman wears a pot for on his head.

8. This military snowman knows how to lock and load.

If this guy wasn’t dressed as a soldier, I’d feel very uncomfortable. Because I don’t see assault rifles as a civilian weapon at all.

9. This cowpoke doesn’t mind being snowed in.

In fact, he kind of prefers it in the pasture. Still, love how he has cowboy boots. This is great.

10. What you mean a snowman can’t breathe fire?

Now that is something I need to see. Because we all know what happens to snowmen near flames.

11. Who wants to ride in a wheelbarrow?

Sure it might require stuff from your garden shed like a wheelbarrow. But I have to admit this is adorable.

12. The Mexican bandito snowman has come from south of the border.

I know this may offend some people like the “stinkin’ badges” part of The Treasure of the Sierra Madre. But c’mon, you can’t blame him from getting out of a place with winters above freezing.

13. Nothing beats a day at the patio.

Okay, they’re drinking under an umbrella and the woman’s wearing a bra. Still, I think it’s quite amusing if you ask me.

14. This snowman would like to know what life is from the inside.

Unfortunately, he wouldn’t be able to experience it. Since he’d melt as soon as he came in.

15. Guess this snowman doesn’t like what he sees from the window.

Yeah, I think it’s sometimes unwise to pry into people’s privacy. This guy learned the hard way.

16. This punk snowman is just chillin.’

Not sure what he’s listening to. But I’m sure he doesn’t have the new iPhone that doesn’t have a headphone jack. This is clever.

17. “Four snows and seven years ago…”

However, don’t expect snow Lincoln to emancipate you from any snowstorms this year. Still, this is a great likeness.

18. Seems like this guy’s going through a brain freeze.

Then again, he probably has other worries like wondering about the melting point. Still, like how he sits on the bench.

19. Oddly, Homer seems to enjoy the winter.

Actually this is a snowman Homer Simpson so it’s no wonder. But it really resembles him.

20. Looks like Halo is waiting to take action in his winter of his discontent.

This is from a popular video game series which I’m not familiar with. But I’m sure readers would enjoy this.

21. This snowman really has it on the ball this time.

Now I’m no fan of golf and I’m sure this guy was made for a country club. But I do find this display amusing.

22. Bet she can stuff her bra with snowball enhancements.

Yes, I know many might not think it’s appropriate. Still, I hear she’s quite popular with the Polar Bear Club.

23. “Did anyone call for a pizza?”

I’m sure the pizza was used just for the photo as far as I’m concerned. Still, would you take pizza from a snowman?

24. This man always is always fir for the slopes.

Wonder if he’s from Colorado. Then again, I shouldn’t stereotype by his hair and how he likes to ski.

25. Nothing beats an afternoon on the porch.

Another snow couple in swimsuits. The guy seems to recline with a drink in hand.

26. These two snowmen are ready to rock on with their guitars.

Guess they’re really rocking for a blizzard if you know what I mean. Still, this is quite creative.

27. “Help! Help! I’m sinking!”

Well, perhaps snowmen know what it feels to be snowed in. Like how one waves his stick arms in panic.

28. Hold on tight for it’s going to be a bumpy ride.

A snowman has to hitch a ride somehow. Because he can’t be in where there’s seatbelts or he’d melt.

29. Don’t worry, this snow lady will feed the chickens.

And here she is with her bucket in tow. Have to love her pink outfit as well. So cute.

30. “Can someone take me to the North Pole?”

Unfortunately, the North Pole hasn’t been doing well recently due to climate change. And it has taken a great toll on the polar bears.

31. Oh, no, there’s been a hit and run!

Well, I did a hit and run snowman scene before. Still, this is kind of crazy but funny.

32. Introducing you to Sister Frostina.

Well, she’s created by a group of nuns and in a nun’s habit. Who says nuns don’t have their fun?

33. This snowman loves to go on a bowhunting excursion.

Yes, bowhunting is a thing. Just ask my neighbors. Still, I don’t think there’s a lot of hunting during the winter other than for critters.

34. Even snowmen can engage in the occasional frat boy hijinks.

Drinking out of a keg? Yes, plenty party guys do it. But it’s stupid and might cause you to black out drunk.

35. Of course, some snowmen are kinkier than others.

Given the popularity of Fifty Shades of Grey, I couldn’t resist this one. But a BDSM snowman might lead to many calls from parents.

36. These snowmen shall not be moved.

You’d think these snowmen would be protesting climate change. Because they’d certainly be affected by it.

37. This snowman always loves to raid ships on the high seas.

Well, the high polar seas, anyway. Because he’d surely melt if he’s closer to the Equator.

38. Oh, my God, they’re coming for us!

Remind me not to buy a home where there’s an Indian burial mound on top of it. Still, this is so creative.

39. Did that thing just eat a kid?

Yes, there are people who do demented snowmen like this. A sure sign that a neighbor has watched too many horror movies.

40. With this snowman, it’s to infinity and beyond.

Now that’s a really good Buzz Lightyear. Hope he knows that he’s a toy snowman and not something else.

41. Don’t mind him, he’s just going places.

Here he’s in with a bike jacket and helmet. Wonder how he puts the pedal to the metal with his snow legs.

42. These guys are just taking a break from a long day.

Funny how they’re made from the snow that covers the chairs. Doesn’t seem to take much work to do.

43. Someone must’ve had a few too many.

Look, a drunken snowman may be funny. But a drunk person passed out like that isn’t. If your see someone like this, you might want to consider calling 911.

44. Seems like that tree really got in his way.

I know this is a sick and twisted way to build a snowman. But somehow it works by having a tree grow out of him.

45. These snow people always stick to the good old ways of their ancestors.

Yes, this is an Amish snow family. Yes, they’re quite plain. But you should see them do a snow barn raising.

46. Seems like this snowman should hit the shade on late night.

Conan O’Brien would be proud of this. Like how they did the flaming red hair.

47. This snow woman always wants to do the hula.

However, she wouldn’t be able to don the grass skirt in Hawaii. Because it doesn’t have snow compatible weather.

48. Looks like someone crashed in the wrong place.

This was just made from a mound of snow. Still, he seems to have no worries.

49. “Can you help me get to Florida?”

Uh, I’m not even sure if this guy should even go there. Unless he wants a death wish since Florida isn’t known for snow.

50. Not sure if doing a handstand on a Jeep is a good idea.

Well, I have to admit, it’s a pretty interesting concept. Like the earmuffs and boots.

51. This guy’s just chilling with the morning paper.

Not sure if it’s a great time to read the paper in snowy weather. But to each his own.

52. Guess this one is “Always Look on the Bright Side of Light.”

Because from the sign, this snowman isn’t long for this world. But doesn’t seem to care.

53. I don’t know about you but do snowmen ever get constipated?

This one seems to be from the looks of it. Not sure if I’d like to see it.

54. This snowman is guaranteed to pump you up.

Sadly for him, he’ll probably be busted for performance enhancing drugs. You know how body builders are.

55. So is this how a Renaissance artist would build a snowman?

Okay, to be fair, not all of them lived in Italy. But imagine the great Renaissance snow masterpieces that we’ve missed since photography wasn’t invented then.

56. “Jack be nimble, Jack be quick, snowman under limbo stick.”

Getting under a limbo stick is tricky. But it’s especially difficult if you’re made of snow.

57. Not sure what these snow people are thinking about right now.

For interpretation is in the eye of the beholder. Still, love the little ones surrounding them.

58. What’s this poor soul to do in the winter weather?

Seems like he’s a homeless snowman sleeping on a bench. And he has some booze with him.

59. Even snowmen love to have some winter fun to themselves.

And look, they’re playing snow angels. As if they’re frolicking in their own flesh.

60. There’s nothing like a walk with the dog.

Maybe so. But this dog has evergreen branch ears and tail. I know many will love this.

Rockin’ Around the Christmas Tree at the Ugly Sweater Party (Third Edition)

Posted by historymaniacmegan on December 14, 2016

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As we all know, I couldn’t do some Christmas posts without including another edition for ugly holiday sweaters. Unlike some of the other ones, I deliberately delayed this one since inserting a photo of myself in a sweater at this point required my house to be decorated for the Christmas season. And since I did most of the later edition ones just after Thanksgiving, I had to move it at a later date. Now that we’re in the middle of December, so it’s all fine and dandy. Anyway, though the sweater I wear above isn’t necessarily ugly or Christmas specific, it’s in a similar style that you’d associate with ugly Christmas sweaters this time of year. And yes, they’ve exploded in popularity over the years due to their sheer tackiness. So much so that I’ve found ugly Christmas sweaters for many of my themed posts this year as well. Hell, there are holiday sweaters pertaining to stuff I couldn’t even think of. Nevertheless, since I’m aware of the ugly Christmas sweater’s significance, I know that another post isn’t optional in this case. So for your reading pleasure, I give you yet another assortment of more ugly holiday sweaters for the season.

Fans of A Christmas Story will be tickled pink with this Christmas sweater.

This one contains the leg lamp and Ralphie in the infamous pink bunny outfit. And the lampshades are pink.

2. Of course, someone has to be the fruitcake this Christmas.

For the record, to be known as a fruitcake isn’t a compliment. Those called this are either known to be so disliked they’re passed around, have to be enjoyed with tons of alcohol, or gay. Okay, my apologies to the LGBT community on the last one.

3. Tis the season for rutting reindeer apparently.

To be fair, this is great way to show people why we have certain times a year when we shoot them. Best to wear in front of those with relatives in Mt. Lebanon.

4. It’s always different on Christmas if you are the Christmas tree.

This guy has rainbow tinsel and pom pom ornaments. And he stands out tacky and proud.

5. Stand out in the yuletide festivities with this Christmas tree hat.

Think of it as one of those aluminum Christmas trees on your head. Now don’t you think it looks completely ridiculous?

6. Fans of tasty Christmas treats have to love this gingerbread house sweater.

Still, you have to love how it’s made. The pom poms are used as gum drops. The lace is icing.

7. With this Christmas sweater, you can shine and jingle all the way.

Well, this one is decorated in tinsel and ornaments. Sure to make you stand out like a sore thumb.

8. For cuteness this holiday season, how about this Christmas dress with a kitten?

This one is edged with tinsel. Wonder if this is Hello Kitty since it sure looks like it.

9. High heels must always be trimmed with tinsel.

So I guess tinsel is tacky. Still, like how they used ornaments on these shoes, too.

10. The Grinch will climb the chimney to snatch your Christmas up.

Of course, you really can’t hate the Grinch in any respect. Still, he should be wearing a Santa suit.

11. On Christmas we’re going to party like it’s Jesus’s birthday.

Though we’re not really sure if it is. But setting it on December 25 has more to do with the Jewish idea that prophets died on the day they were conceived.

12. Show off your leg lamp at your Christmas window this holiday season.

And the leg lamp has become an iconic Christmas decoration ever since. Obviously a take off of A Christmas Story.

13. This octopus wishes you Merry Christmas from under the sea.

Yes, apparently there is a such thing as a Christmas octopus. Don’t ask me why.

14. Guess she’s all dolled up for the holidays as a Christmas tree.

Yes, Christmas trees are lovely things to look at. Dressing up like one, not so much.

15. Even the elves seem to have Santa beards.

Well, they kind of resemble garden gnomes. Still, this sweater has plenty of tacky trimmings to set your season right.

16. This Abominable Snowman Christmas sweater is surrounded by lights.

And the lights are all different colors. Still, this is a pretty good resemblance to the one in the cartoon.

17. A Christmas dress always has to have snowmen and gift bows.

Well, it’s not like you’re going to use the gift bows on a present, anyway. Also, trimmed with tinsel.

18. Every time Santa thinks of you, he touches his elf.

Of course, we should all know what this is playing off of. Any children on here, go ask your parents.

19. This Christmas, ring in the holidays with a “Ho, Ho, Ho.”

Well, we all know the word “ho” can have more inappropriate connotations. But you can’t help but like the feathers.

20. A fleece Christmas onesie can keep you safe and warm over the holidays.

Yes, they have these, too, and for adults. And they come with hoods.

21. Seems like this guy knows what he wants for Christmas.

Not sure what that would mean if you want beer for Christmas. Might mean you have a problem.

22. A tutu skirt should always have lights.

Well, these lights aren’t real. But they’re shiny and colorful enough to do just as fine.

23. Uh-oh, Rudolph seems to have gotten caught in the Christmas lights.

Yeah, I don’t think Rudolph would appreciate having lights on him. Might be a hindrance to his job.

24. Forget the sleigh, this year Santa will come on a unicorn from space.

I think I saw a comedian wear one like this on TV once. Still, it’s pretty ridiculous.

25. Any sweater with gingerbread figures has to have lights.

Not sure about having the plush gingerbread men hanging. But they enhance the sweater’s ridiculousness.

26. This penguin wears chains on his ice.

Unfortunately,his gangsta appeal didn’t stop him from becoming a casualty of climate changes. Though this is cute.

27. A great Christmas always needs the right kind of chemistry.

Breaking Bad fans, I hope this Christmas sweater can suit your fancy. Still, not in front of the kids.

28. Seems like the cookies aren’t looking forward to Santa’s visit.

Hey, I didn’t say that Christmas is merry for everyone. Look what this remaining cookie has to deal with.

29. A tinsel Christmas sweater stocking should always have some poinsettias.

Though the poinsettias are clearly plastic. And everything all this is in sheer tackiness.

30. Business cat can always give you a Christmas bonus.

Unfortunately it isn’t the good kind of deposit that put in your bank account. It’s the one that you have to clean up.

31. Merry Christmas from out of this world.

And here we see an alien going down the chimney. Hate to find out what happened to Santa Claus.

32. At the Griswolds’, it’s always a fun, old-fashioned family Christmas.

And it’s probably one that you’d rather skip out on. Mostly because the Clark Griswold isn’t the brightest bulb in the patch. And might even be a bit nuts.

33. I’ve heard that shiny tinsel jackets are all the rage during the holiday season.

Yet, they always seem to be tacky as hell. Not to mention the fake lights and the plastic poinsettia.

34. Your Christmas tree sweater should have all the shiny ornaments.

And it seems like this woman has way overdone herself on the shiny stuff. Then again, tackiness is kind of a thing with these.

35. For gay apparel, you can never have enough gift bows.

Yes, those things seem to appear in the wrapping supplies but you don’t know what to do with them. Still, at least these two put theirs to good use.

36. Nothing says Christmas like a cat at the middle of a wreath.

And it’s a wreath of tinsel and poinsettias. Kind of makes it look more ridiculous.

37. A sweater with tinsel is great in any winter wonderland.

This one seems to have a retro look about it. Maybe it has to do with the pastel colors.

38. Of course, there’s a sweater of the two crooks from Home Alone.

You know the two crooks who Kevin tortures through 2 movies. Still, neither seem to learn but you kind of feel bad for them.

39. On Christmas you gotta have green Christmas tree hair.

I know you might think it’s straight from the Grinch but it’s not. Still, it’s incredibly ridiculous.

40. On Christmas, you don’t want to celebrate with the Griswolds.

And they say it’s only half as good as it looks. I think Clark overestimated on that one.

41. Seems like Santa is going for a high score.

Funny how the walls are made from candy canes. So how will he get those presents?

42. Looks like the shark got entangled in lights.

And you thought it was just humans who had light problems. Then again, if a shark were tangled in lights like that, it would’ve been electrocuted.

43. A holiday sweater must be topped with a big red bow.

Well, that looks easy enough. Tacky, but certainly not requiring much effort.

44. Hey, Griswold, where would you want your Christmas tree?

Yeah, Clark isn’t known for his tact. And yes, this is from Christmas Vacation.

45. Be good for Christmas or else the Krampus may get you.

He’s known to kidnap bad children and beat them. Still, not as creepy as Elf on the Shelf.

46. Seems like there’s a little knot in these lights.

And you can see why my family doesn’t do Christmas lights. Another one from Christmas Vacation.

47. Seems like Santa Claus has been naughty this year.

Looks like he might’ve gotten in a fight from his black eye. Bad, bad, Santa.

48. What the hell is that alien doing to Santa?

Oh, no, don’t tell me they’re doing an anal probe on him! Jesus, this is sick.

49. This is a Christmas sweater worn by a true American patriot.

So much that he has a red, white, and blue eagle with a Santa hat on his back. Please don’t be a Trump supporter.

50. Instead of Christmas, make it Festivus for the rest of us.

Yes, they have these, too. Great to wear when you’re challenged to the Feats of Strength.

51. Merry Christmas and by the way, shitter’s full.

We should note that having Christmas with Cousin Eddie is a bad idea. Because you never know what the hell is in his sewage.

52. A tacky poncho must have M&Ms.

This one has Christmas M&Ms and no sleeves. Like the red edged collar.

53. This holiday season, the Dude abides.

Apparently, they have a Christmas sweater for The Big Lebowski. In some respect, I kind of think it’s out of their element.

54. Must not disturb the Clauses doing their business.

One sweater has Santa on the toilet. The other has Mrs. Claus in the tub. Not sure which is tackier.

55. Nothing’s in the spirit of Christmas like a sequin bauble blazer.

I know what you’re thinking. Sorry, but I guarantee you it’s probably not from the 1970s. But yes, I wouldn’t want to be caught dead in it.

56. Speaking of sequins, check out the one raining gingerbread men.

This one looks even worse. Surely worn by a guy who’ should probably cut it on the eggnog.

57. Wish everyone a merry Christmas with some stockings hung on your rack.

For some reason, the stockings were hung at a very convenient place. Not that it matters to me.

58. With Christmas sweaters, you can never overdo the tassels.

On second thought, yes, you can. You certainly can. You can also add lights, too.

59. Light yourself up in this sequin blazer this holiday season.

Yes, it’s another sequin jacket. But this one contains lights. And yes, it looks ridiculous.

60. Finally, nothing makes a better Christmas in Florida like this sweater.

Because this Christmas sweater screams Florida as far as I can tell. Then again, I doubt that Floridians even wear Christmas sweaters at all.

SantaCon Costumes Are Coming to Town (Second Edition)

Posted by historymaniacmegan on December 12, 2016

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Last year, I did a SantaCon post after the event kicked off since I had to be in Virginia for my sister’s graduation. This year, I vow not to make the same mistake again since I have plenty of costumes left over from that time. As you know, SantaCon is an American tradition in which people from all over the country (as well as the world) gather each year dressed as Christmas characters where they parade and go on a pub crawl. Since its origins in San Francisco, this annual event has become known as a reviled bar crawl with a reputation of drunken brawling, vandalism, and disorder in New York City and elsewhere. And as a result, there’s been fierce community resistance about the whole thing, especially from parents who really don’t want to explain why Santa has been arrested for drunk and disorderly conduct. Still, thanks to Pinterest, I can have a little fun with this while the events are on. So for your reading pleasure, I give you another treasure trove of SantaCon costumes.

You can’t be a sexy Frosty unless you come in a big puffy skirt.

Well, this isn’t as bad as the girly snowman outfits from last year. Yet, she’ll probably be shivering in it in some places.

2. You can always shimmer and shine in a silver Santa dress.

Kind of reminds you of something Mariah Carey would wear in a music video. Also seems to contain a lot of sequins.

3. I call this one the stripper Santa girl outfit.

Then again, I really shouldn’t make fun of strippers. They have horrible lives. Also, this isn’t suitable for cold increment weather.

4. This Mrs. Claus costume endears with Christmas elegance.

Love the fancy golden embroidery on it, too. And you thought lady Santa outfits were scantily looking.

5. Have a toast to SantaCon with these Santa pimp cups.

Well, at least they all have cups that are in celebration with the season. Though one seems to be a bit south of the border.

6. To lead your sleigh, SantaCon can’t do without Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer.

Now this is a cute costume. However, at these events, it’s said that Rudolph’s red nose makes him the designated driver.

7. Of course, a doe must always look her best.

Well, with reindeer both sexes have antlers. However, I don’t think she’s actually dressed as one though. Then again, reindeer often aren’t accurately depicted in Christmas media anyway.

8. For a traditional Santa costume, look no further.

Funny I didn’t put a traditional Santa in my SantaCon post from last year. Still, hope this makes up for it.

9. Any woman wants to stand out in a Santa outfit this Christmas might want to go with a greener option.

Yes, they have those Santa dresses in green as well. Still, like how it goes with green fur trimmed boots.

10. For a naugthy Santa’s little helper, this scanty costume might be to your fancy.

I’m not sure if this is lingerie or not but it sure looks like it. Yet, since it comes with boots, you really can’t say.

11. At SantaCon, it always helps to be present.

Well, she’s dressed as a present anyway. Like how she used tinsel and wrapping paper for her costume. Hope it doesn’t rain or snow.

12. Sometimes a toy soldier would rather stand with a Christmas tree.

Not sure what to think about the Christmas tree costume in this. Yet, at least he made an effort you should appreciate.

13. A lady elf costume should always come with striped tights.

I showed the male counterpart of this costume last year. I know it looks pretty dumb but it’s Christmas related. So it goes on the post.

14. Guess these two gingerbread girls have just ran a race.

I’m not sure if these costumes are from SantaCon. Maybe some Christmas related race. But they’re Christmas related so who cares.

15. In this pink Santa getup, you’ll be sure St. Nick will come down the chimney tonight.

I think I might’ve gone a bit overboard with this one. Still, it does seem like something mommy would wear, uh never mind.

16. A snowman outfit like this might give you the frosty reception you’re looking for.

But it might not be the kind you think. Because it might lead you to freeze your ass off.

17. Gingy and his girl come to SantaCon for some good times and sweet fun.

Well, these are quite cute. But please don’t touch the buttons. Not the gum drop buttons.

18. You always know that Santa will need his little helpers at SantaCon.

Or if you work at Santaland at the mall. Nevertheless, there’s nothing wrong dressing like these elves.

19. Even the Mrs. Claus must have some fun now and then.

Of course, this is a traditional Mrs. Claus outfit. Yes, it looks homey but what the hell.

20. Even Buddy the Elf would take part in the SantaCon festivities.

Actually Buddy the Elf would really not have any idea about SantaCon. And he wouldn’t really understand a wasted Santa. Please don’t try to explain.

21. Apparently, Santa Claus is a Cleveland Browns fan.

Unfortunately, the Browns aren’t doing too well this year. Then again, they don’t seem to do well period.

22. This toy soldier gives the right salute.

Well, I have to admit, this is a rather clever costume. Like the hat.

23. For SantaCon, this woman decided to go as a reindeer snowman.

Guess she couldn’t really decide. At least she’s covered from head to toe for the most part.

24. A candy cane reindeer at SantaCon is anything but sweet.

Yes, I know her costume is quite skimpy for some people’s taste. But you have to admire her creativity with this one.

25. Fans of Christmas Story might want to go with this leg lamp costume.

I showed a DIY leg lamp costume from last year’s post. Yet, this one comes up further from the waist.

26. It’s always lonely to be an Elf on the Shelf.

Though to be fair, the Elf on the Shelf thing is as creepy as hell. Maybe that explains why he does so many naughty things when parents and children aren’t looking.

27. This angel should always go on top of the Christmas tree.

Okay, she’s probably in a short skirt that many people don’t perceive to be holy. Yet, it’s surely in the spirit of the season.

28. At SantaCon, you won’t always know what Santas you’ll see.

From what I can tell, I see a pirate Santa, a reggae Santa, and a disheveled Santa. I know it’s hard to explain but what do you know?

29. Mr. Candy Cane is always at your service.

He even has his own candy cane hat and red bowtie. His candy cane vest is also in white and red stripes.

30. The star always goes on top of the Christmas tree.

She’s even decked in tinsel and ornaments. Also have to admire the striped tights.

31. This Mrs. Claus outfit will make you a sweet darling at SantaCon.

Actually, I’m not sure if it’s even a Mrs. Claus outfit. But it includes an apron and it’s unique. So it goes on this post.

32. You can always have your SantaCon outfit trimmed with fur.

Yes, this is a sexy Mrs. Claus costume according to Pinterest. But at least it comes with a jacket.

33. For those who aren’t too into Christmas at SantaCon, this Grinch costume will suit your fancy.

After all, SantaCon isn’t a kind of event that makes Christmas look good. So a Grinch costume is perfect.

34. Now you’d certainly call her a genuine candy striper.

That’s because she’s dressed like a candy cane. You know the red and white stripes scheme.

35. Hope this soldier girl has her musket at the ready.

To be fair, the gun is only a prop. But I’m sure she wouldn’t be allowed at some establishments during the bar crawl with that.

36. How about a present in green and red?

Well, it’s green wrapped with a red ribbon. At any rate, don’t open till Christmas.

37. Here we find the Grinch with Cindy Lou Who.

These two seem to wear the costumes from the movie. Like the Christmas sweater one.

38. These women vow to shine bright as different colored lights.

Well, these seem to be simple costumes. But when one goes out, they all go.

39. Clark Griswold knows his way around with lights.

Actually he doesn’t. But I like how this guy has his Christmas lights in a ball. That’s hilarious.

40. These advent calendar girls are counting down the days till Christmas.

Well, they just have advent calendars over their outfits. And they both seem to be Christmas trees.

41. Sometimes it helps for a soldier to take a knee.

Well, at least he doesn’t have a toy gun with him. But I’m not sure if his green coat goes with his read pants.

42. Seems like Ralphie’s been a very bad boy.

Yes, these events are known for a lot of drunk and disorderly conduct. But the Ralphie bunny suit costume is priceless.

43. These elves are ready to make their season merry and bright.

Well, they surely look ready for something like SantaCon. Then again, they just might be Santa elves on a break.

44. “Shitter’s full.”

That’s Cousin Eddie from Christmas Vacation. Still, this costume isn’t hard to make at all.

45. A candy cane costume like this will make you look just as sweet and minty fresh.

Well, it’s probably not realistic and it’s holiday wear you’d expect from Effie Trinket. But it’s Christmas related so it goes on this post.

46. You can expect plenty of presents under this Christmas tree.

Okay, she might be dressed as the kind of Christmas tree you put on a table. Because it doesn’t seem to cover much of her.

47. Seems like Hanukkah Harry got in a fight with a Santa Bot.

“Santabot naughty detection. Santabot destroy with coal fired laser.”

48. Cindy Lou Who always tries to look her best.

Sure it’s of a child character. But it’s an adult costume as Etsy lists.

49. So is she supposed to be queen of the sugar plum fairies or something?

This is supposed to be a Christmas costume and surely looks like it. But the leopard print trim doesn’t do it for me.

50. Even Santa has to have a day at the beach now and then.

And here he is in an old fashioned swimsuit about to go surfing. Not sure if he’ll succeed riding the waves.

51. This Santa seems to have an interesting hat.

Kind of reminds me a bit like Dr. Seuss. Then again, not sure about the candy cane hat.

52. Jovie and Buddy always know how to celebrate the season.

Yes, they the pink Jovie costume from the Elf movie, too. And yes, it does look quite cute.

53. Mistletoe Marilyn will add extra spark in your holiday season.

Well, she does look like Marilyn Monroe. But she doesn’t seem to have mistletoe on her though.

54. This Mrs. Claus dress comes with a holly apron.

Sure she’s wearing a short skirt. But I think it’s rather tasteful at the same time.

55. With Santa, it’s always hip times ahead.

Yes, this Santa has a fro. Not sure if it means he’s from the 1970s. Or that he doesn’t get a haircut at the North Pole.

56. These reindeer have what it takes to get to the skies.

Like how these guys are dressed as race car drivers. Not that I’m a fan of NASCAR (I’m not).

57. A Santa dress must be held with a black belt.

Yes, it’s another female Santa dress. And yes, I’ve put up a few of them. But this is more standard.

58. At SantaCon, being Santa’s little helper means wearing a pom pom skirt.

Whether you’re going to SantaCon or work for Santa at the mall, you might find this quite lovely. Like the striped socks.

59. A green dress can always stand out as a Christmas tree.

Helps if you add tinsel and ornaments. Yet, make sure you have star on your headband.

60. Perhaps, Mrs. Claus can use a more festive pattern.

Yes, this is Mrs. Claus as you’ve never seen her before. Also, the patterned pieces have Christmas motives.

61. Mrs. Claus stands with one of Santa’s helpers.

Mrs. Claus seems a bit young in this. Yet, the elf seems to have a rather short skirt.

62. Sometimes you might find a few elves with facial hair.

By the way, the beard’s fake. But this costume does seem to induce cheer.

63. Uh, you may not want to do that.

This woman is dressed up as Flick from A Christmas Story. You know the kid who stuck his tongue on the flag pole.

64. If you’re into Dickens, you might want to go to SantaCon as the Ghost of Christmas Present.

Since SantaCon is known for drinking and feasting, this is up his alley. I mean he’s a jolly guy who enjoys partying.

65. Speaking of the 19th century, check out these caroler costumes.

Unfortunately, ladies, 19th century fashion wasn’t known for practicality. So if you wear one of these dresses, expect to be uncomfortable.

66. If you’re Russian, you might want to go to SantaCon as Grandfather Frost or the Snow Maiden.

As if we need more Soviet Union inspired characters during the holiday season. Yet, these two are still around in Russia after the Soviet Union fell.

67. Mrs. Claus has a heart on her apron.

Well, this is kind of cute. Helps if the apron has holly around it and a bow on the belt.

68. Not much here, just a couple of joggers.

It’s the Griswold neighbors in their athletic suits from Christmas Vacation. Sure they’re stuck up but you really have to feel bad for them.

69. At SantaCon, don’t let these two in your house.

These are the two criminals on Home Alone. You know the two hapless crooks who get tortured from some budding child psychopath.

70. You never know what you can do with a lot of gift bows.

Well, a red present dress is one idea. Still, wonder if she’ll freeze in it since it doesn’t seem to accommodate cold weather.

71. A garland around yourself makes just as good a Christmas tree as anything.

You can even decorate it any way you please. But please, make sure you take your Santa hat with you.

72. This Christmas tree has a foot in each present.

Still, at least he feels secure dressed as one. Think it’s kind of funny, actually.

73. In this elf costume, you can just prance in your suspenders.

Yes, I know not many people wear suspenders these days. But this guy seems jolly.

74. I think their pajamas might need fixed.

Okay, the bare butts are in as a joke and aren’t real. Either way, you shouldn’t touch them.

75. For SantaCon, this guy came prepared.

Since he dressed up as milk and cookies. Then again, he may not have enough to go around.

76. You’ve heard about making a gingerbread house. How about dressing like one?

Yes, they may be a bit boxy at times. But you have to like how they’re decorated with candy.

77. These elves come with extra eye protection.

Guess they’re test drivers for Santa’s sleigh at the North Pole. That might explain a lot.

78. Given his workload on Christmas Eve, it’s no wonder Santa doesn’t look forward to Christmas sometimes.

This costume has “Bah! Humbug!” on the hat. As if Santa didn’t have more to worry about.

79. Now that’s a strange Christmas tree.

Because it doesn’t seem to resemble one. More like a badly decorated shrub.

80. Look who just came in from Whoville.

Yes, the Whos seem to have some interesting styles, especially on Chrsitmas. But I couldn't leave these two out.

Yes, the Whos seem to have some interesting styles, especially on Christmas. But I couldn’t leave these two out.

Marvel Comics Christmas United Guardians of the Galaxy

Posted by historymaniacmegan on December 9, 2016

marvel-1983-christmas-card

And so I get to the last Merry Geekmas installment with Marvel Comics. Or as you know, it’s the franchise that brought you the Avengers, Stan Lee, Daredevil, Spider Man, the Fantastic Four, the X-Men, Dr. Strange, Deadpool, Wolverine, and Guardians of the Galaxy. I mean look at the look at the image above and see for yourself. This year was great for Marvel movies like Deadpool, Captain America: Civil War, Doctor Strange, and X-Men: Apocalypse. Of course, like DC Comics, Marvel also had special Christmas issues as well. Because you can’t forget the holidays as a major comic book franchise. And let’s just say, while DC is better known for Batman, Superman, and Wonder Woman, Marvel has much more variety in their merchandising. Their movies are also more entertaining though DC beats them in the villain department by a large margin since their best ones tend to be Loki as well as Magneto and his people. After all, Batman villains tend to be very iconic and scary. Nevertheless, for your reading pleasure, I give you an assortment of ideas and things that will inspire you to have a merry Marvel Christmas Stan Lee could be proud of.

No patriotic Christmas is complete without these Captain America ornaments.

And yes, they mostly consist of his shield. But for any patriotic tree, this is a must have.

2. Keep yourself warm over the holidays with this Avengers tossle cap.

This one has Captain America, Iron Man, Thor, and the Hulk. If it comes with a scarf, keep both pieces assembled.

3. This Iron Man Christmas tree always makes your season bright.

It even has the heart that gives Iron Man his power to configure the suit. Still, I’m sure this will get Tony Stark’s approval.

4. Be wary when Captain America points to what’s on your left.

Yeah, Captain America isn’t wrong with that. Still, though he may be handsome, he’s at least over 90 years old.

5. Spider Tree, Spider Tree, can be whatever a Spider be.

Still, I think this Spider Man Christmas tree is missing something. I know, cobwebs. Because he’s a web slinger.

6. Seems like Iron Man has a present.

Seems like he’s being nice this holiday season. Of course, this is only a plushie.

7. Unfortunately, the Elves on the Shelves were no match for the Avengers.

And they did it without inflicting a lot of collateral damage in the process. Still, the Elf on the Shelf thing is incredibly creepy.

8. Sorry, Twinkletums, but Spidey doesn’t care for the likes of you.

Because he just got caught in Spider Man’s web. Great work, Spidey. The Elf on the Shelf needed to go.

9. An Avengers’ Christmas tree should be properly assembled.

It should also be blue with a Captain America shield on top. Hulk hands help as well.

10. Celebrate the season with this Deadpool Christmas sweater.

You’ll see a few of these Deadpool sweaters on this post. This one is quite minimal compared to the others.

11. This Wolverine stocking will surely be well hung.

I wonder if Hugh Jackman has a stocking like this at his fireplace. I wouldn’t be surprised.

12. This Deadpool owl ornament is a genuine hoot on your tree.

You can tell since it has a Deadpool belt. Still, this is adorable.

13. Speaking of Deadpool, you can’t go without this polymer clay ornament of him.

He even has candy canes on the back instead of swords. Also like the Santa hat.

14. Make your Christmas a patriotic one with this Captain America holiday sweater.

This one is black with red, white, and blue. And it features Cap’s shield in the center.

15. Make Christmas wonderful with this Loki sweater.

So let me get this straight. Only in Marvel can a Norse god have his very own Christmas sweater. Is that right?

16. Of course, not even Loki would disapprove of this Avengers Christmas tree.

This one includes masks as well as comic books. But it still has the Captain America shield on top.

17. Nothing makes you look like a badass on Christmas like this Deadpool sweater.

This one has Deadpool’s face at the center. But it’s in black and red as he’d prefer it.

18. Spidey sits on top of a present.

For the record, they have a lot of these Spider Man Christmas inflatables. So expect more on this post.

19. Complete your patriotic Christmas tree with this Captain America tree skirt.

This one is in Captain America’s shield as always. But it fits great on the tree from the looks of it.

20. For an Avengers Christmas, an Avengers holiday sweater is the proper thing to wear.

This one includes Captain America, the Hulk, Thor, and Iron Man. And Thor shows his long blond hair.

21. An Avengers Christmas tree must always be topped with Loki’s helmet.

Okay, Loki is actually an adversary of the Avengers. But you have to admit, it does look great on the tree.

22. Merry Christmas from the Elf Avengers.

This one has the Avengers and Loki in elf hats. Still, you have to admit that this is cute.

23. Be sure to decorate your Groot this Christmas season.

Seems like Groot requires more lights on his cutout than the much smaller Christmas tree. Like the Rocket angel though.

24. Avenger owl ornaments assemble.

Yes, I have more owl ornaments on here. These are of Captain America, Loki, and Iron man. Still, they’re a hoot.

25. Looks like Bruce Banner really doesn’t like to play Santa.

No wonder he just destroyed his Santa suit. But he’s holding a present. Might want to stay away from this Hulk Santa.

26. Any little girl would dream of wearing this Spider Man dress this holiday season.

This one even features a Christmas tree as well as green sleeves and tights. So cute.

27. Captain America doesn’t have much tolerance for bad language.

Yeah, he tends to be quite clean cut among the rest. Yet, you should remember he grew up in the 1930s.

Yeah, he tends to be quite clean cut among the rest. Yet, you should remember he fought in WWII.

28. You can always string up this Spider Man crocheted stocking.

Even has the Spidey eyes and blue at the foot. Still, this is great.

29. Iron Man always shines bright on top of the Christmas tree.

That’s because part of Iron Man’s suit glows. And that Tony Stark is a self-absorbed billionaire with major issues.

30. Make your Christmas green this year with this Incredible Hulk tree.

Even has green and purple ornaments to show for it. Yet, please hope you’re not living with a Hulk when you do this. Because that would be bad.

31. Feel free to assemble your Christmas tree with these Avengers baubles.

Each one has a logo of each Avenger. Of course, the pool has expanded since these were made.

32. Rock out this Christmas with this Guardians of the Galaxy holiday sweater.

This is well mixed with Christmas motifs as well as Guardians of the Galaxy stuff. Hope you can dance to the soundtrack.

33. At least a few of the Avengers get together to celebrate the season.

This inflatable has Captain America, the Hulk, And Iron Man. And they surround a large present. Guess they all pitched in to get something for Black Widow.

34. A Spider Man Christmas tree always has to contain some degree of well, web.

Now that’s more like it. Helps that the tree is blue, too.

35. Hope you delight in this Squirrel Girl Santa.

Squirrel Girl is a Marvel superheroine who originally appeared in the 1990s. She tends to be quite popular with her power being the ability to talk to squirrels. Yes, you read that right.

36. You might not want to snoop around Wolverine’s Christmas tree this season.

Because he doesn’t like when you mess with it. Still, wonder how he decorates his tree when he has his claws out. Besides pruning it.

37. This year, any bad guys have to watch out for Spidey Claus.

Now that’s clever. Yeah, Spidey Claus isn’t the kind of Santa you should mess with. If you don’t want to be in a sticky bind afterwards.

38. Also, may your Christmas be webby and bright with this Spider Man holiday sweater.

Nevertheless, I have to wonder if Spider Man has his own Christmas sweater. And if he does, did he make it himself?

39. This baby Groot tree ornament is hard to resist.

Just love how he’s in the Santa hat and holds the lights. This is so cute.

40. You better watch out. You better not cry. You better not pout, I’m telling you why. Santa America is coming to town.

This is Captain America as Santa Claus. Notice how he has great abs and a red suit.

41. A Captain America Christmas tree should always have red ribbons around it.

Don’t forget to put the shield on top, too. Also, include blue ornaments for a more patriotic flair.

42. Spider Man climbs up on the house top to drop a few presents.

Another Spidey inflatable. Guess he’s helping Santa delivering the gifts at homes he missed.

43. You can always go with an Avengers tree of crafted ornaments.

This one even has a DIY shield on top. Yet, you can also include masks, too.

44. Join in the festive holiday spirit with this Captain America Christmas sweater.

This one is light blue with patriotic designs. Just as Captain America intended.

45. Hope you enjoy this Avengers assembled Christmas tree.

Well, this one has the Avengers assembled into one tree. And it’s in the back of a jacket.

46. Celebrate the season with your very own Christmas Hulk.

For nothing says Christmas like a giant angry green monster that causes destruction wherever he goes. I think you might want to reconsider.

47. Nothing says a Merry Christmas like this Iron Man holiday sweater.

Has the heart of Iron Man’s suit in the center. I’m sure Tony Stark would make these if he wanted to.

48. I’m sure you can show your patriotism to Santa with this Captain America stocking.

This one has a star and stripes like Captain America’s shield. Still, if there’s anyone in the Avengers who should get something for Christmas, it’s Cap.

49. This Captain America shield tree topper will make your season bright.

It even lights up. I’m sure any Cap fan would treasure it on their tree.

50. An X-Men Christmas tree should always be topped with Phoenix Jean Grey.

This one also lights up a well. And it has Jean Grey in front of the phoenix to demonstrate her power.

51. How about a Deadpool stocking at your fireplace?

This one has Deadpool’s face with black trim. I’m sure Deadpool would want this for his own fireplace this Christmas.

52. Deadpool would like to wish you a Merry, Chri-oh, whatever.

Guess Deadpool would like to celebrate the season his own way. Still, this is quite clever.

53. Deadpool has just released his Christmas letter for 2015.

This is quite funny. In it, the talks about his Christmas and his sister getting married. He doesn’t have high hopes for that relationship.

54. Any Avenger at Christmas would ogle at these stockings.

Includes Spider Man, Captain America, Iron Man, and Thor. And each of them come with a plush figure.

55. An Avengers Christmas tree always has to come with all the trimmings.

This one has a lot of Avenger action figures and masks. Also, has a lot of other colors to make Christmas a festive occasion.

56. I’m confident these Avengers ornaments will add a spark to your holiday season.

Each Avenger silhouette is in a respective color. And one includes the Avengers logo.

57. Spider Man does web design for a living.

But not in a way that other people do it. His web design has more with doing catching bad guys in webs variety.

58. Enjoy a webbed Christmas with these Spider Man baubles.

They’re red with spiders on them. Surely fitting for any Spider Man tree.

59. Groot always knows how to deck the halls.

However, this Groot seems scarier than he does in Guardians of the Galaxy. But at least he’s helping with Christmas lights.

60. At one angle, you’d think this gingerbread Stark Tower was in a winter wonderland.

This is Stark’s main headquarters. Like how it’s a brilliant blue. The windows aren’t too bad either.

61. Deadpool always wants to be on top of the tree.

Like how he has a Santa hat and 2 candy canes crossed with his arms. Classy.

62. Top your tree with Groot and Rocket.

Doesn't hurt if the tree lights either. Love this.

Doesn’t hurt if the tree lights either. This is great.

63. O Christmas Groot, O Christmas Groot….

Like how he’s decorated with garlands and lights. Also has a star on top.

64. Groot and Rocket just came in with a tree.

This one has Rocket in a Santa suit and Groot wearing a scarf. Love this.

65. Groot always dresses for the season.

I know this doesn’t look anywhere near Groot from the movie. But you have to like how he’s in Santa suit and wears ornaments.

66. Your Christmas tree isn’t fully assembled without these Avengers clay gingerbread ornaments.

Sure they’re not made out of gingerbread. Not that it matters to me because these are adorable.

67. Hulk always smashes anyone who gets in his way.

Well, Loki’s a puny god as far as Hulk is concerned. Yet, he always has his green fists up in his symbol.

68. Instead of a stocking, how about a boot of your favorite superhero?

This features stocking boots of Captain America and Spider Man. Since they’re 2 of the most popular Marvel superheroes around.

69. Thor always speaks quite eloquently.

Yes, he does tend to speak like someone from Shakespeare. But what’s not to love?

70. This Christmas, don’t get caught on Deadpool’s naughty list.

Deadpool even has a Santa beard on for good measure. Still, please don’t do anything to piss him off.

71. Seems like Deadpool has his own way of wishing everyone a Merry Christmas.

Because nothing brings the spirit of peace on earth than standing between 2 machine guns. Nice Deadpool.

72. Deadpool would like to wish everyone happy holidays and that he didn’t steal the presents.

I think he did steal the presents and he’s blaming Wolverine for it. Because that’s Deadpool.

73. Don’t worry, Spider Man will deck the halls.

Of course, his way of decorating is more suited for Halloween. Still, this ugly sweater is very creative.

74. The Avengers would like to wish you a marvelous Christmas.

Because they’re from Marvel Comics. Not sure if you’d want to put Christmas lights on the Hulk.

75. Now you can hang a piece of Groot on your Christmas tree.

Not sure what to think about that. I mean Groot is a walking, talking tree in some respect.

76. Deadpool would like to say a few words as he decks the halls.

Funny he wears his outfit as he puts up the lights. Oh, wait he’s kind of self-conscious.

77. An Iron Man tree topper always glows, especially in a tree of metal.

Come to think of it, a metal tree is quite appropriate for Iron Man. Like the lights and tinsel.

78. Avenger fans will adore this red, white, and blue Christmas sweater.

Great to wear if you want to watch Captain America: Civil War this holiday season. Though Thor and the Hulk aren’t in it.

79. Hulk is checking his own Christmas list.

I suppose it’s a long one since he tends to break a lot of stuff every time he blows his top. So it’s not without cause.

80. Loki doesn’t like wishing Thor a Merry Christmas.

Well, Loki doesn’t really take well to Thor anyway. After all, they’re brothers on Asgard. What do you expect?

81. This Marvel Christmas sweater has Avengers assembled.

This one has Iron Man, Thor, Captain America, Hulk, and Spider Man. Or Marvel’s biggest named superheroes sans Wolverine.

82. Seems like the Marvel superheroes always like to have a good time during the holidays.

This card is a take off from A Charlie Brown Christmas. Still, imagine all the damage these people can do in one room.

83. I’m sure these Marvel nutcrackers could crack a few.

Consists of Hulk, Spider Man, and Iron Man. Still, they all may be a bit nuts.

84. A Christmas tree like this sure brings the Marvel spirit.

And yes, it’s all Marveled out. Like how they used Wolverine’s claws as a tree topper.

85. Christmas Groot always has lovely branches.

He has garlands and ornaments on his arms as well as red bow. Like Rocket dressed as Santa.

86. A Spider Man nutcracker can always break a few tough ones.

Yes, this is another Spider Man nutcracker. But this one looks different than the other one I showed.

87. Wolverine doesn’t have any problem helping Santa carry his sack.

However, displaying holiday cheer is another matter. Being jolly isn’t his strong suit.

88. Spider Man always has a special place for DBC.

Since that’s where he works as a photographer. Too bad Jameson has no idea how he’s able to cover Spider Man.

89. Tis the season for a Wolverine Christmas sweater.

For some reason, despite his popularity, Wolverine doesn’t have a Christmas sweater like other Marvel superheroes do. Still, like the blue lights.

90. Tis the season to be jolly with this Spider Man Santa hat.

Well, it’s a Santa hat that’s red and has Spider Man eyes. Hope it goes with the webbed Santa suit.

91. Spider Man has something special for Dr. Octopus.

Sure they may be better enemies. But they set it aside during the holidays because why retain bitterness?

92. Here we have Spider Man up on the house top.

Well, he’s on top of a chimney. And yes, he can go down it without much trouble.

93. Of course, you can’t spend a Spider Man Christmas without a sweater like this.

There seems to be quite a few Spider Man Christmas sweaters for some reason. Oh, right, he’s very popular at Marvel.

94. Spider Man would like to deliver a present.

And he’s giving it upside down. Funny how he wears a scarf and nothing else.

95. Thor is always ready to celebrate Christmas.

Sure Christmas may not be a holiday on Asgard since Thor’s the Norse god of thunder. But you have to like how he’s covered in lights.

96. Spider Man seems to have a webbed sack to go with his outfit.

This holiday plush also seems to depict him with a big head. Still, like the Santa hat.

97. This Christmas Groot only has a star to top him.

By the way, this is a cake. Nevertheless, he’s so cute you’d want to eat him up.

98. Merry Christmas courtesy of Wolverine.

Yes, this is photoshopped from a movie scene. But I like how he has candy canes instead of claws.

99. This nativity scene has brought X-Men from far and wide.

I don’t seem to have a lot of X-Men Christmas stuff for some reason. I’m not sure why.

100. Captain America would like to bestow a gift to you.

And here he is holding a present with 2 hands. He’s carrying his shield behind him by the way.

DC Comics Presents Christmas: Dawn of Justice

Posted by historymaniacmegan on December 8, 2016

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Of course, I couldn’t do themed Merry Geekmas posts without including the comic book superhero franchises of DC and Marvel. After all, comic superheroes make crucial part of the nerd landscape since they’re beloved by generations as well as lead casts of major blockbuster movies. Not to mention, so many people dress as them for Comic Con. This year for the DC Comics we has Batman vs. Superman: Dawn of Justice and Suicide Squad. Both were major blockbuster hits. Nevertheless, like other franchises, comic book superheroes also have their own branding for the holidays. For instance, many of them have their own holiday special issue. And this has gone on for decades even before they started making movies featuring superheroes. With DC Comics, you’ll probably had Batman or Superman saving Santa or something like that. Anyway, Christmas is a big time of year for the comic books for obvious reasons. So it should surprise that many fans make a themed Christmas with their favorite superheroes. So for your reading pleasure, I give you an assortment of things related to a DC Comics Christmas.

Have a Gotham Christmas with these Batman baubles.

Consists of ornaments pertaining to Batman, the Joker, and Harley Quinn. So fans would enjoy them.

2. There’s nothing more unique on Christmas than a Batman snowflake.

It’s a paper snowflake with the Batman sign. And it’s in 2 variations.

3. Harley Quinn is quite the naughty elf this year.

Actually, “naughty” puts it mildly. More like straight up criminally insane. Yet, she carries the bat suit behind her.

4. This Christmas say hello to Batman Claus.

As you know, Batman Claus gives presents to all the girls and boys. And he beats the shit out of those who are very bad like the Joker.

5. Celebrate Christmas by commemorating The Dark Knight Rises with this Bane ornament from Hallmark.

Because nothing says Christmas like a supervillain who beats the living shit out of Gotham’s superhero, puts him in a hole out in some far of prison, and takes over his town. Oh, and that Talia woman Bruce Wayne slept with. Well, she’s with him. Still, Bane does have a nice side. But don’t count on it.

6. There’s nothing to a Gotham Christmas like a Batman tree.

This one has the bat symbol all over it. I’m sure someone would want to do this for the holidays.

7. How about a Harley Quinn stocking for the fireplace?

Not sure if it would help your case with Santa. After all, Harley Quinn is a very bad girl in Gotham.

8. No Christmas tree of justice can be complete without a tree skirt like this.

This one has Batman, Superman, and Wonder Woman. Or as I call them, the Golden Trio of DC Comics.

9. May your Christmas be a beacon of hope with this Wonder Woman wreath.

This one has fancy wreath decorations along with Wondy’s boots and her lasso. A great wreath for the feminist girl at heart.

10. Decorate your super Christmas tree this year with these super Justice League ornaments.

These include Batman, Superman, and Green Lantern. And they’re all made from a glassy metal.

11. An aluminum Christmas tree is perfect for the Dark Knight.

This one has the Batman cowl on it with other decorations. All in all, it’s an intimidating tree.

12. Make your super Christmas super bright with these Superman lights.

These lights all have the Superman symbol on them. And they'll make your tree super bright.

These lights all have the Superman symbol on them. And they’ll make your tree and season bright unless you put them with Kryptonite.

13. Wonder Woman wishes you a wonderful Christmas.

However, though I can believe Wondy can carry a large sack of toys on her back. I’m not sure about her being able to brave rough weather in her skimpy outfit. Maybe she has super heat insulating fat under her skin.

14. Make your Christmas a superheroic one with a Superman Christmas tree.

Sure it shines bright like a beacon at Metropolis. Though after watching Man of Steel, I’m not sure if it’s one of hope.

15. These Justice League ornaments are exactly what one needs on their superhero Christmas tree.

I don’t really know the one on the bottom right. Yet, the Aquaman one looks quite different from his movie counterpart.

16. He’s making a list and checking it twice. Gonna find out who’s naughty or nice.

And you thought I was talking about Santa. Well, Batman has his own naughty list.

17. Batman has his own Christmas greeting at the door.

This is a door decoration for a school. Kids write on the bats. Not sure about Batman in a Santa hat.

18. Choose your Justice League lights for a bright holiday season.

Each one is in a different color. Superman’s is red. The Green Lantern’s is green. And Batman’s is blue.

19. Greet your guests this Christmas with a Batman wreath on your door.

As you can see, this is a DIY project. Yet, it’s made more Christmasy with the red ribbon on the bottom.

20. Your gifts will be safe in these Batman and Robin stockings.

Seems like these are DIY. Like how the Robin one’s decorated.

21. It always takes a Dark Knight tree to make the season bright.

This one even has a star on top along with a Batman without the mask. Love the blue trimmings.

22. Apparently, the Joker decided to go with a Charlie Brown tree.

Or is that just a dead tree that seems like it caught fire? Either way, it’s quite fitting for the most notorious Batman villain.

23. Gotham City wishes Seasons Greetings to Batman.

This is a card from 1989. Nice that Gotham used a Christmas tree for the bat signal. Because you know what the latter means.

24. The Dark Knight of Gotham always has to have a resplendent Christmas tree.

This one has a topper of Batman silhouetted among the moon or a spotlight. Has comic sound effects on the branches.

25. It’s a bird. It’s a plane. No, it’s Super Santa.

Because why does Santa need a sleigh with reindeer if he can fly unassisted in mid air? I mean he must be from planet Krypton.

26. For a super holiday season, this Superman tree is for you.

It even has the word “Superman” around it as well as yellow, red, and blue ribbons. And the Man of Steel is on top.

27. Catwoman tells everyone to be fierce this holiday season.

Another door decoration for a school. Here Catwoman has holly on her shoulder.

28. These Justice League baubles will make quite an impression on your Christmas tree.

Includes the Flash, Green Lantern, Aquaman, Superman, and Batman. So why no Wonder Woman?

29. Wonder Woman is all decked in her gay apparel.

Because like any skimpy clad superheroine, Wondy has to have her own Santa skirt. Also, her Lasso of Truth is gold tinsel.

30. Wish happy holidays to your enemies with this Joker Christmas sweater.

Apparently, having the Joker as the most iconic Batman villain explains why so many people are afraid of clowns. And while he may be funny, he’s no laughing matter.

31. This Superman Christmas sweater will make your holidays super special.

Yes, those are all Superman logos on a Christmas tree. It’s a Krypton thing as far as I know.

32. Of course, anyone could be the Batsanta.

Funny how they have Santa on his sleigh with the bat signal. Batman is even driving the sleigh.

33. This Wonder Woman stocking has her face all over it.

After all, she is supposed to be an Amazon princess. Yet, instead of waiting for a prince to save her, she kicks ass.

34. All your Batman stocking needs is its own cape.

Because it just wouldn’t be a Batman stocking without it. Same goes for the gold fuzzy top.

35. For an alternative Batman villain idea, how about a tree with Catwoman and the Penguin?

Catwoman is so great that even Batman takes to her. Meanwhile, the Penguin really knows how to dress.

36. Clark Kent always relies on phone booths to get changed into Superman.

Nowadays, he’s most likely to have trouble finding one. Because most people use cell phones in Metropolis.

37. Yellow bat garlands always make a Batman tree right.

This one uses blue lights as well as has a Batman cowl and cape. I’m sure someone had too much time on their hands.

38. The Joker says, don’t joke with your future this holiday season.

And it’s the Heath Ledger Joker with a Santa hat. Not sure what to think about that.

39. A Batman tree must glimmer under its cape.

Well, if it wasn’t for the Batman motifs, this would be normal tree. But with the Batman head and cape, many would find it awesome.

40. Nothing says Merry Christmas like donning on this special iconic Batman Christmas sweater.

It’s black and gold with bats all over. Probably what you’d see in the Batcave around the holidays.

41. For a Batman vs. Superman Christmas, this tree has got you covered.

Also works if you can’t decide between a Batman and Superman Christmas tree. Still, it fits in with the movie.

42. Bring in the spirit of the holiday season to Gotham City with this Batman Santa mask hat.

Of course, I have doubts on whether Batman embodies the Christmas spirit since he’s not a guy filled with good cheer. Yet, if you want to wear it at a Christmas party, by all means.

43. Batman always seeks out trouble when he sees the Bat Signal.

When you see the Bat Signal, some crazy supervillain is about to get their ass kicked in Gotham. Watch out, Joker.

44. For a real Batman vs. Superman holiday party, you might want to go with these Christmas sweaters.

One has a bat signal and the Gotham skyline. The other has a symbol of Krypton and the city of Metropolis he nearly destroyed in Man of Steel.

45. Or if you want them together, this holiday sweater will do.

Because why choose when you can have both? And in an ugly sweater style?

46. Don’t like ugly Batman holiday sweaters? Try these Christmas boxers.

Yes, these exist. I know they’re ridiculous. But there must be a demand for them somewhere.

47. Fans of Batman vs. Superman might enjoy these ornaments on their tree.

I admit, the movie wasn’t as bad as I thought it would be. Yet, I can’t see Ben Affleck as Batman though.

48. Batsanta wishes you a Merry Christmas.

Here we have him in a muscular red suit with fur trim. Yes, Batsanta knows how to make an entrance.

49. Wonder Woman always knows how to deck the halls.

Here she is in her red and green attire holding a string of lights. Wonder if she’ll use them to decorate her invisible plane.

50. This Superman stocking can keep your stocking stuffers secure.

This one is fuzzy blue with a red trim for the cape. Let’s hope it doesn’t cause collateral damage, shall we?

51. A Superman Christmas tree must always be blue.

Since most of Superman’s outfit is. Also helps if you use red in the decorations, too.

52. Celebrate a Justice League Christmas with these ugly holiday sweaters.

Includes Wonder Woman, Batman, Green Lantern, and Superman. And each is a different color.

53. It takes a super nutcracker in order to crack a nut.

Though you can say most of these nutcrackers are genuine nuts. Yet, Superman has his moments.

54. On Christmas Wonder Woman kisses Superman under the mistletoe.

However, we should understand that Superman’s love interest is Lois Lane. Then again, Wondy might be better conditioned to handle a Kryptonian baby.

55. Rock around the Christmas tree this year with these Justice League sweaters.

Consists of Wonder Woman, Batman, and Superman. Each of these has its own unique design.

56. Fans of the Dark Knight Trilogy may love to have these Batman and Robin ornaments on their Christmas tree.

Well, at least they have the Batman in his black batsuit. The Robin one doesn’t look bad either. Brought to you from Hallmark.

57. This Wonder Woman doll is decked in her lovely holiday fashion.

Well, at least she’s wearing pants. Yet, her outfit is trimmed with fur to PETA’s dismay.

58. A Superman stocking always has to have a cape.

Not to mention, it also has to have the kind of underwear that goes over his pants. But that’s part of his trademark.

59. Celebrate DC’s best known superheroine with this Wonder Woman Christmas tree.

Yes, a tree that celebrates a scantily clad feminist icon who’s comic storyline wasn’t among its strong suits. Yeah, Wondy hasn’t fared well with the writing during her run.

60. The Green Lantern is said to be the brightest light.

Again, I know nothing about the Green Lantern except that it was based on Aladdin. But I hope I can satisfy any fans who come to this site with this ornament pillow.

61. The Joker never tries to take things so seriously.

For nothing says Christmas like a homicidal madman who causes a menace in Gotham city through a 3-hour movie. Still, Heath Ledger will be missed.

62. This holiday season, tell your parents you love them because Batman can’t tell his.

Because we all know that his parents were killed in front him when he was a kid. It’s not surprising that this billionaire was so messed up from it.

63. As a resident of Metropolis, Superman always supports the Daily Planet.

Because that’s where he receives his paycheck as a reporter. I mean everyone needs a day job. Guess why it survived Man of Steel.

64. Harley Quinn always has to celebrate Christmas with her holiday hammer.

She even has a red and green holiday outfit to match. Though chances are she’s most likely getting nothing from Santa.

65. Move over Grinch, Superman won’t let you steal Christmas.

Okay, this card really ruins the story of How the Grinch Stole Christmas. Because Superman isn’t supposed to be there.

66. They know when you’ve been bad or good. So be good for goodness sake.

Or else if you’ve really been bad, Batman might beat the living crap out of you. Just ask the Joker.

67. Don’t like Christmas stockings? How about Christmas boots?

These are of Batman and Superman. Because after all, they’re probably in the biggest demand.

68. It’s not easy being Superman.

Yes, I understand collateral damage control is hard if you have superhuman powers. But it’s absolutely necessary as seen in Man of Steel.

69. Nothing makes your Justice League Christmas tree like these engraved ornaments.

Consists of Wonder Woman, the Flash, Batman, Green Lantern, and Superman. And each has a different colored ribbon to hang from.

70. Poison Ivy and Harley Quinn don’t always agree on Christmas decorations.

Well, Poison Ivy tends to be an extreme environmentalist. But yes, I see her point.

71. Joker doesn’t want anyone to be so serious around Christmas.

Unfortunately, he’s a walking security hazard. I mean the guy blows up buildings for God’s sake.

72. This Wonder Woman boot is a perfect superheroine stocking.

Because this is a perfect stocking for the Wonder Woman fan. Make sure candy doesn’t get stuck in her heel though.

73. Kids will have lots of fun with this Joker stocking.

Okay, it might make people think your child is a bit strange. Maybe even a little homicidal.

74. Santa always knows when it’s Christmas in Gotham.

So that’s who the Christmas tree signal is for. Looks like it’s Santa to the rescue.

75. Batman and Robin are always eager to help Santa.

Here are Batman and Robin helping Santa with his sack. As if Santa doesn’t have back problems already.

76. Suppose this Harley Quinn holiday sweater will suit your fancy.

After all, she’s the most popular female Batman villain. Yet, she’s not a great judge of men if her relationship with the Joker is anything to go by.

77. Apparently, around the holidays, the skunk ruined everything.

Now that Batman smells, the Batmobile lost a wheel, and Robin ran away, the Joker is free to escape. Kind of lame if you think about it.

Now that Batman smells, the Batmobile lost a wheel, and Robin laid an egg, the Joker is free to escape. Kind of lame if you think about it.

78. There’s nothing serious about this Joker Christmas sweater.

He sure looks menacing here. Before wearing it to a holiday party, make sure the attendees aren’t afraid of clowns first.

79. According to the Joker, tis the season to be jolly.

However, since he’s the Joker, he gets his psychotic jollies by destroying things in Gotham and killing people. Yes, he’s that’s crazy and dangerous.

80. Guess Batman isn’t too fond of Christmas carols.

Then again, they are making fun of him with the “Jingle Bells” song. But when did Batman display any sense of humor?

81. Now this is the ultimate Justice League holiday sweater.

There’s a different Justice League symbol for each row. Yet, it’s in a nice red backdrop.

82. When decorating your tree, you can always use Poison Ivy and Harley Quinn to top it.

And they’re both in scantily clad outfits. But they’re definitely dressed for the holiday season.

83. During Christmas, Harley likes to don her holiday duds.

She just has her pied outfit trimmed with fur. She even carries some candy canes and a lollipop.

84. Sorry, Gotham, but I don’t think Bruce Wayne will make it to the Christmas Children’s benefit this year.

Because Batman is held hostage. to add insult to injury, Joker and Harley even put him on their Christmas card.

85. Batman should know better than to fall for Catwoman’s mistletoe trick.

Because it may not end well. Neither is Catwoman entrusting Batman to help with the Christmas lights as you see here.

86. All Superman wishes this year for Christmas is peace on earth.

And he’ll strive for it at all costs. Even if it means reducing Metropolis to a pile of rubble.

87. Your stocking will be safe with this Superman stocking holder.

Well, as long as your stocking doesn’t have Kryptonite in it. Otherwise, this is stronger than steel.

88. Be like the Man of Steel this winter with this Superman Christmas sweater.

If Superman attended an ugly sweater Justice League party, he could probably wear this. Then again, maybe not.

89. Merry Christmas from Harley Quinn and the Joker.

Of course, they’re probably not sincere about it considering how they wreak havoc in Gotham City. But you have to love their holiday gay apparel.

90. Never underestimate the strength of the Man of Steel.

Because he could definitely break steel apart with his bare hands. I mean look at him.

91. As well all know, Batman is no fan of “Jingle Bells.”

But such version of him smelling makes a great ugly Christmas sweater. See it for yourself.

92. This comic is only available on a Batman ugly sweater.

Yeah, it’s the same variation of “Jingle Bells, Batman Smells” in pictures. And it has Batman in garbage.

93. Stand in true sisterhood this Christmas with this Wonder Woman eagle sweater.

The eagle is on top of the tiara by the way. Also, the sleeves are blue with stars.

94. May Batman be at the top of your Christmas tree this season.

And this one is jammed pack full of Batman stuff for your desire. Will sure make the Caped Crusader proud.

95. These Batman and Robin owl ornaments are a real hoot.

Sure a bat and a robin would’ve been more appropriate. But even I have to concede that these are adorable.

96. This ugly Wonder Woman Christmas sweater has a face of a national icon.

Well, this one sure has Wonder Woman’s face on it. But she has no eyes and blue hair.

97. Seems like Poison Ivy gets the same thing every Christmas.

Sure she may be a Batman villain. But you can’t blame her for being disappointed in getting a sexy negligee every year. That gets old.

98. Batman can always stand by the Bat Signal.

I mean it’s his symbol and it’s always his calling card. Still, you won’t see him on top of it.

99. Wonder Woman and the Gotham Rogues Gallery wish you a merry Christmas.

Then again, it’s possible that Joker, Harley, and Poison Ivy have taken Wondy hostage. Still, she could handle it.

100. Wonder Woman wishes you Season’s Greetings.

Here she’s carrying Santa’s sack of toys. Like she’s taking over for him for Christmas.

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The Lone Girl in a Crowd

The thoughts and perceptions of an aspiring writer on life and the world around her

Tag Archives: Humor