The Squeaky Clean World of Shower Curtains

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Shower curtains provide a critical purpose in the bathroom. First, they help ensure privacy when one is in the shower (assuming that one’s not transparent like the one above). Second, they keep the water coming from the shower from splashing everywhere in the bathroom. Of course, it’s no surprise that many shower curtains are made from waterproof materials like vinyl or plastic. At my house, there’s a shower curtain with 2 layers that consist of a thinner decorative one as well as a plastic one designed to keep the water. And you have to make sure the inner white layer goes into the tub. At any rate, most shower curtains usually have a plain, geometric, or ocean design. Sometimes they’re clear plastic like this one above as well. But though I can go all about showing the great shower curtains, you’ll most likely be bored to tears. So instead, I’ll devote this post to some of the crazy ones. Many of these might consist of shower curtains you’d want but know that it would not go well with the guests or the children.Then again, there may be other reasons. So for your reading pleasure, I bring you an assortment of some of the great curtains for your bathroom.

  1. There’s nothing more badass than a bear on top of a shark.
Helps that the bear is standing upright on a tidal wave with an assault rifle. This is hilarious.

Helps that the bear is standing upright on a tidal wave with an assault rifle. This is hilarious.

2. Who’s that coming from the shower?

I'm sure this is from a horror movie of some sort. But yes, it looks kind of scary. Guaranteed to help guests with constipation.

I’m sure this is from a horror movie of some sort. But yes, it looks kind of scary. Guaranteed to help guests with constipation.

3. A shower curtain like this shows us the wonders of the universe.

I bet any money that Dr. Neil Degrasse Tyson has a shower curtain like this in his bathroom. Or he'd want to have one like this.

I bet any money that Dr. Neil Degrasse Tyson has a shower curtain like this in his bathroom. Or he’d want to have one like this.

4. As we all know, unicorns always have rainbows coming from their butt.

If you're a demented girl that enjoys cutesy fantasy stuff and bathroom jokes, I have your answer. Seriously, you'd totally want this.

If you’re a demented girl that enjoys cutesy fantasy stuff and bathroom jokes, I have your answer. Seriously, you’d totally want this.

5. There’s nothing brighter in the bathroom like a curtain of neon colored giraffes.

No, this isn't an acid trip. It's a real shower curtain depicting neon giraffes. I'm sure if they were on the Savannah, you'd be able to see them from miles away.

No, this isn’t an acid trip. It’s a real shower curtain depicting neon giraffes. I’m sure if they were on the Savannah, you’d be able to see them from miles away.

6. Looks like this bathroom has a problem with zombie infestation.

Don't worry, it's just a zombie shower curtain. But on the bright side, it's guaranteed to help with constipation.

Don’t worry, it’s just a zombie shower curtain. But on the bright side, it’s guaranteed to help with constipation.

7. This cat means serious business.

Here we have a kitty on a unicorn with laser eyes that shoots fire through its nostrils. Even funnier the cat carries a golden handgun. This is brilliant.

Here we have a kitty on a unicorn with laser eyes that shoots fire through its nostrils. Even funnier the cat carries a golden handgun. This is brilliant.

8. Remember to never stop dreaming.

Even if your dreams pertain to a pirate giraffe riding a flying shark. Okay what the fuck?

Even if your dreams pertain to a pirate giraffe riding a flying shark. Okay what the fuck?

9. Here we have Jesus on the shore.

There were quite a few good Jesus ones that would've been funnier. But I couldn't save them at a suitable size. So this is as good as you're going to get on this post.

There were quite a few good Jesus ones that would’ve been funnier. But I couldn’t save them at a suitable size. So this is as good as you’re going to get on this post.

10. While Apple as the iPod, a high tech bathroom has this curtain.

It's called the iPood. And it's not something that you should do in the shower. Nor should the iPeed.

It’s called the iPood. And it’s not something that you should do in the shower. Nor should the iPeed.

11. Never saw a T-Rex on a bicycle before.

Yes, I know it's quite ridiculous. But so is the notion of Jurassic Park. And despite that many would want think bringing back dinosaurs may be awesome, we should understand why it may not be a good idea.

Yes, I know it’s quite ridiculous. But so is the notion of Jurassic Park. And despite that many would want think bringing back dinosaurs may be awesome, we should understand why it may not be a good idea.

12. Remember the shower doesn’t double as a urinal.

Remember despite how tempting it may be, don't pee in the shower. Shower is for cleaning. Not for taking a whizz.

Remember despite how tempting it may be, don’t pee in the shower. Shower is for cleaning. Not for taking a whizz.

13. In case you don’t know how to text pictures, this shower curtain has emoticons.

Well, emoticons are things you type to express feelings. Nowadays, emojis have made that almost antiquated.

Well, emoticons are things you type to express feelings. Nowadays, emojis have made that almost antiquated.

14. My, that seems like a dignified portrait of Keith Richards.

Of course, we should all know that despite all the things he did to himself, he's still alive. And he's outliving so many celebrities. We can't explain it.

Of course, we should all know that despite all the things he did to himself, he’s still alive. And he’s outliving so many celebrities. We can’t explain it.

15. Well, well, well, what the hell happened here?

Yes, it's a bloody shower curtain you'd expect to find in a serial killer's bathroom. Sure to freak out your guests and make a great Halloween decoration. Also helps with constipation.

Yes, it’s a bloody shower curtain you’d expect to find in a serial killer’s bathroom. Sure to freak out your guests and make a great Halloween decoration. Also helps with constipation.

16. Is there something burning from the tub?

Relax, it's just a shower curtain with red flames. But where I live, it might make people think your water supply has been fracked.

Relax, it’s just a shower curtain with red flames. But where I live, it might make people think your water supply has been fracked.

17. How about a shower curtain of the world?

Note that borders in some regions might be subject to change. This is particularly true in Eastern Europe, the Middle East, and Africa.

Note that borders in some regions might be subject to change. This is particularly true in Eastern Europe, the Middle East, and Africa.

18. Barbie can kick a unicorn’s ass if you let her.

The unicorn can even puke a rainbow, too. Imagine that. Still, hilarious.

The unicorn can even puke a rainbow, too. Imagine that. Still, hilarious.

19. Nothing makes a guy more manly than punching a grizzly bear.

Yet, a manlier man has enough common sense to avoid one as much as possible. Because disturbing such animals has very unfortunate implications.

Yet, a manlier man has enough common sense to avoid one as much as possible, especially if it’s a mama and her cubs. Because disturbing such animals has very unfortunate implications.

20. You have to admit, this sloth really knows how to pole dance.

Not bad for an animal who only climbs out of a tree to go to the bathroom. Still, I couldn't leave this sloth stripper out. This is just so funny as hell.

Not bad for an animal who only climbs out of a tree to go to the bathroom. Still, I couldn’t leave this sloth stripper out. This is just so funny as hell.

21. Don’t mind this deep sea diver feeding the fishes.

You know most animal places have rules against feeding the animals. The ocean should be no different.

You know most animal places have rules against feeding the animals. The ocean should be no different.

22. This deep sea diver can even punch a shark.

Scratching the shark's eye would've done the trick. But it wouldn't look nearly as awesome.

Scratching the shark’s eye would’ve done the trick. But it wouldn’t look nearly as awesome.

23. You see, I told you rhino horns have special properties.

Okay, rhino horns may not sprout rainbows in the cosmos. But this is just too funny to miss. Love it.

Okay, rhino horns may not sprout rainbows in the cosmos. But this is just too funny to miss. Love it.

24. Perhaps you might want some llama fries with that.

Well, they're llamas in a French fry container. I know it doesn't make sense but it's pretty funny.

Well, they’re llamas in a French fry container. I know it doesn’t make sense but it’s pretty funny.

25. This cat knight rides to adventure on his noble narwhal.

I guess he rides in the water without a breathing apparatus. Still love how the cat has a bridal and saddle on the narwhal.

I guess he rides in the water without a breathing apparatus. Still love how the cat has a bridal and saddle on the narwhal.

26. There’s nothing more beautiful than abstract clouds.

Or as I call it an acid trip. But you can see all the pretty infrared colors quite clearly.

Or as I call it an acid trip. But you can see all the pretty infrared colors quite clearly.

27. Hope this T-Rex remembers to scrub its ribs.

Not sure what to think about the T-Rex skeleton in the shower. But at least it can scrub its back.

Not sure what to think about the T-Rex skeleton in the shower. But at least it can scrub its back.

28. Remember to check for a killer in the shower before going to the bathroom.

Okay, that may not make your guests very comfortable. But it'll sure help them with constipation.

Okay, that may not make your guests very comfortable. But it’ll sure help them with constipation.

29. Space Cat always explores and goes where no cat has gone before.

I'm sure people would like seeing a cat in an astronaut suit. Yes, it's ridiculous. But what's not to love?

I’m sure people would like seeing a cat in an astronaut suit. Yes, it’s ridiculous. But what’s not to love?

30. Sailors might want to beware of this undead mermaid.

To be fair, mermaids weren't originally seen as benevolent beings. And many were said to lure sailors to their doom. Just saying.

To be fair, mermaids weren’t originally seen as benevolent beings. And many were said to lure sailors to their doom. Just saying.

31. I believe something went wrong in this shower.

Well, this is more of a take off of a web page from Internet Explorer. Yes, this page can't be displayed.

Well, this is more of a take off of a web page from Internet Explorer. Yes, this page can’t be displayed.

32. Wonder what your toothbrush and toilet roll say to each other.

Sorry, but the toilet paper is right. The toothbrush doesn't have the worst job ever.

Sorry, but the toilet paper is right. The toothbrush doesn’t have the worst job ever.

33. This goldfish has a brilliant disguise.

Sorry, but that's not going to work. Then again, the goldfish could be compensating for something.

Sorry, but that’s not going to work. Then again, the goldfish could be compensating for something.

34. Jesus, it’s raining cats and dogs.

Well, in this case quite literally. Not sure if the umbrella will provide protection from that.

Well, in this case quite literally. Not sure if the umbrella will provide protection from that.

35. Here we come to a lovely scene of cats on the beach.

I'm sure cat lovers will go all gaga with this. I especially like the cat holding binoculars.

I’m sure cat lovers will go all gaga with this. I especially like the cat holding binoculars.

36. I suppose this is a poster for Moby Dick.

Yes, it's in a Jaws poster rendition. But it involves a wooden ship and a white sperm whale.

Yes, it’s in a Jaws poster rendition. But it involves a wooden ship and a white sperm whale.

37. Show your pride of the South with this Confederate flag shower curtain.

However, this will not make you endearing to black guests in any way, shape, or form. Seriously, such products like these show that institutional racism is alive and well in America.

However, this will not make you endearing to black guests in any way, shape, or form. Seriously, such products like these show that institutional racism is alive and well in America.

38. Seems like someone’s washing windows.

Well, that's quite clever. Not sure about depicting it a a shadow though.

Well, that’s quite clever. Not sure about depicting it a a shadow though.

39. Fans of the Empire Strikes Back would want a shower curtain of Dagobah.

However, hope that you emerge from the shower not smelling like you've been to Dagobah to learn the ways of the Force. Yeah, that place probably doesn't smell great at any stretch of the imagination.

However, hope that you emerge from the shower not smelling like you’ve been to Dagobah to learn the ways of the Force. Yeah, that place probably doesn’t smell great at any stretch of the imagination.

40. Enjoy the great taste of Coca Cola or blood.

Yes, that's Janet Leigh from Psycho shortly before she's murdered in the shower. Yeah, I know it's demented but it's quite unique.

Yes, that’s Janet Leigh from Psycho shortly before she’s murdered in the shower. Yeah, I know it’s demented but it’s quite unique.

41. With this shower curtain, you can go on social networking.

You can even have your profile picture on the left column. Of course, your Facebook page no longer looks like this anymore.

You can even have your profile picture on the left column. Of course, your Facebook page no longer looks like this anymore.

42. Bacon lovers will surely rejoice for this shower curtain.

Now that doesn't make me feel clean. More like greasy beyond all recognition.

Now that doesn’t make me feel clean. More like greasy beyond all recognition.

43. You might not want to go near here since there’s a crime investigation in process.

Well, that should keep people away from the shower. But it's probably not 100% effective.

Well, that should keep people away from the shower. But it’s probably not 100% effective.

44. Now you can learn yoga poses while you’re on the toilet.

You have to wonder who makes stuff like this. Not sure if you can do all of them in the bathroom.

You have to wonder who makes stuff like this. Not sure if you can do all of them in the bathroom.

45. Men with facial hair might want to take this curtain to mind.

Kind of reminds me of the Mugshots game my sister and I used to play at my grandparents.' Of course, there are some styles that aren't recommended.

Kind of reminds me of the Mugshots game my sister and I used to play at my grandparents.’ Of course, there are some styles that aren’t recommended.

46. If you’re into chemistry, this shower curtain is just for you.

After all, it's clearly meant for people who take any matter seriously. Or hold anything to be elemental. Yet, if you have a noble gas, feel free to let it out.

After all, it’s clearly meant for people who take any matter seriously. Or hold anything to be elemental. Yet, if you have a noble gas, feel free to let it out.

47. If you like to sing in the shower, you might like to sing in the rain.

I guess this is the iconic Gene Kelly pose from Singin' in the Rain. Too bad he uses his umbrella as a dancing prop.

I guess this is the iconic Gene Kelly pose from Singin’ in the Rain. Too bad he uses his umbrella as a dancing prop.

48. “Are you sure this water’s sanitary? It looks questionable to me.”

This is from Tarzan. But I'm sure you've probably asked that when the water doesn't look normal.

This is from Tarzan. But I’m sure you’ve probably asked that when the water doesn’t look normal.

49. Looks like we have a black bear peering from the fence.

If you see a bear like this in your neighborhood, you might want to call animal control. Because nothing good can come of this.

If you see a bear like this in your neighborhood, you might want to call animal control. Because nothing good can come of this.

50. Between pizza and tacos, this kitty shouldn’t have to choose.

And it's in a cosmos background. Still, this just goes beyond all explanation. But it's brilliant.

And it’s in a cosmos background. Still, this just goes beyond all explanation. But it’s brilliant.

51. Of course, you can always go with Han Solo frozen in carbonite.

However, we need to acknowledge that he suffered a worse fate in The Force Awakens. And I'm sure fans know what I mean by that.

However, we need to acknowledge that he suffered a worse fate in The Force Awakens. And I’m sure fans know what I mean by that.

52. I’m sure you’re just seeing things with this hallucination cat.

Yeah, I find a lot of cat curtains from Google Images. Yet, this one is purple with a mustache, glasses, and third eye.

Yeah, I find a lot of cat curtains from Google Images. Yet, this one is purple with a mustache, glasses, and third eye.

53. “Ewoks roasting on an open fire.”

I know that plenty of Star Wars fans don't like the Ewoks. And I'm one of the fans who do. Either way, I couldn't pass this over.

I know that plenty of Star Wars fans don’t like the Ewoks. And I’m one of the fans who do. Either way, I couldn’t pass this over.

54. Sometimes it always seems like a rush.

I'm sure plenty of people have been told to hurry up while doing their bathroom business. But this shadow uses a megaphone.

I’m sure plenty of people have been told to hurry up while doing their bathroom business. But this shadow uses a megaphone.

55. It seems that this whale is talented on French Horn.

This one is called "Whale Song." I'm sure you can see why. And no, it's not the whale song you're thinking.

This one is called “Whale Song.” I’m sure you can see why. And no, it’s not the whale song you’re thinking.

56. Seems like it’s bath time for the dogs.

Well, they sure look like corgis. But if this pertained to bigger dogs, you wouldn't be able to fit them in a tub.

But if this pertained to bigger dogs, you wouldn’t be able to fit them in a tub. Yet, I’m sure people would find this adorable.

57. Nothing captures the spirit of man like Rodin’s Thinker.

And here he is sitting on the toilet like a modern man. Except that he's naked.

And here he is sitting on the toilet like a modern man. Except that he’s naked.

58. Uh, you might not want to meet that guy.

This is from the German silent horror movie Nosferatu. And let's just say vampire Count Orlok is no Robert Pattinson.

This is from the German silent horror movie Nosferatu. And let’s just say vampire Count Orlok is no Robert Pattinson.

59. It’s not every day you run into a beluga in the woods.

Of course, you might be experiencing an hallucination. Or looking at this shower curtain. If it's the former, go see your doctor.

Of course, you might be experiencing an hallucination. Or looking at this shower curtain. If it’s the former, go see your doctor.

60. You might want to beware of Norman Bates in a dress while you’re in the shower.

Yes, this is definitely from Psycho. Without that movie, you'd surely wouldn't have all these killer shower curtains. Get it?

Yes, this is definitely from Psycho. Without that movie, you’d surely wouldn’t have all these killer shower curtains. Get it?

61. This space bound hotdog is going where no wiener has gone before.

It's even strapped to a rocket. Though I don't think that's an adequate space suit.

It’s even strapped to a rocket. Though I don’t think that’s an adequate space suit.

62. This creature in the woods is very good with the chemistry.

Yes, it's a bear with antlers. And yes, it's a takeoff on Breaking Bad. But at least this animal is brewing beer, not making meth.

Yes, it’s a bear with antlers. And yes, it’s a takeoff on Breaking Bad. But at least this animal is brewing beer, not making meth.

63. As women know, telling men to put the toilet seat down is serious business.

Okay, maybe not threatening your man by knife serious. But yes, guys, if you live with a woman, always put down the seat after you pee.

Okay, maybe not threatening your man by knife serious. But yes, guys, if you live with a woman, always put down the seat after you pee. It’s just basic human decency.

64. To the Creature of the Black Lagoon, here’s the perfect woman for you.

I also heard she's accepted a position in the Trump administration. I don't know which one though but she'll certainly feel right at home among the swamp cronies.

I also heard she’s accepted a position in the Trump administration. I don’t know which one though but she’ll certainly feel right at home among the swamp cronies.

65. Oh, shit, not the giant sloth!

And I see the sloth clawing at the Titanic. I'm sure it won't end well at all.

And I see the sloth clawing at the Titanic. I’m sure it won’t end well at all.

66. Unfortunately, Slothzilla made it up the Empire State Building.

I know it's called Slozilla. But it reminds me much more of King Kong since it seems from the 1930s.

I know it’s called Slozilla. But it reminds me much more of King Kong since it seems from the 1930s.

67. Looks like these llamas enjoy a starry night.

Or at least a backdrop of Starry Night by Van Gogh. Yet, they may seem silly but be on your guard.

Or at least a backdrop of Starry Night by Van Gogh. Yet, they may seem silly but be on your guard.

68. Tragically, we find someone hanging on a noose.

Now this is just not in good taste. Seriously, hangings shouldn't be acceptable motifs since they're associated with suicide and white supremacist terrorism.

Now this is just not in good taste. Seriously, hangings shouldn’t be acceptable motifs since they’re associated with suicide and white supremacist terrorism.

69. Even the Bard sometimes wondered about the simple things in life.

Well, if you're dwelling to pee or not to pee, the answer is always to pee. After all, if you're not dwelling on that, you probably don't have to go.

Well, if you’re dwelling to pee or not to pee, the answer is always to pee. After all, if you’re not dwelling on that, you probably don’t have to go.

70. Never thought a Steampunk snail can look so badass.

Oh, it's a snail house. But don't snails live in their shell? This doesn't make sense.

Oh, it’s a snail house. But don’t snails live in their shell? This doesn’t make sense.

71. Sometimes a sloth would give synchronized swimming a try.

Yes, I know this looks pretty ridiculous. But c'mon, synchronized swimming is a joke.

Yes, I know this looks pretty ridiculous. But c’mon, synchronized swimming is a joke. So I think this is clever.

72. No, it’s not okay to peek when someone’s taking a shower.

Yeah, that's not cool. Also, why is the girl wearing a dress?

Yeah, that’s not cool. Also, why is the girl wearing a dress?

73. It’s now Shower Time Cleanliness System.

This is a takeoff on the old Nintendo games. Still, video game nerds will love it.

This is a takeoff on the old Nintendo games. Still, video game nerds will love it.

74. Remember, having your cat on weed may seem awesome until it’s not.

Yet, I have to admit, this is quite amusing. The pipe and glasses speak for themselves.

Yet, I have to admit, this is quite amusing. The pipe and glasses speak for themselves.

75. Seems like some hottie just got out of the shower.

Though he didn't take his towel off quite yet. But I'm sure some women would want him to. Great for Magic Mike and 300 fans.

Though he didn’t take his towel off quite yet. But I’m sure some women would want him to. Great for Magic Mike and 300 fans.

76. Amity Island welcomes you. Oh, wait we’re closed.

Because there's a shark in a water that's been killing people during the summer. Chief Brody didn't have any other option.

Because there’s a shark in a water that’s been killing people during the summer. Chief Brody didn’t have any other option.

77. See, I told you Jesus saves.

Since he never misses the shots when he's the goalie. However, he decided not to go with the hockey mask since he didn't want to freak out anyone.

Since he never misses the shots when he’s the goalie. However, he decided not to go with the hockey mask since he didn’t want to freak out anyone.

78. Could you think of anything cooler than a T-Rex in space?

However, we need to know that they have very short arms. Not great for reaching in zero gravity.

However, we need to know that they have very short arms. Not great for reaching in zero gravity.

79. Unfortunately, Arles was no match for the Galactic Empire.

But at least it looks pretty on a starry night. This is especially true in a Van Gogh painting.

But at least it looks pretty on a starry night. This is especially true in a Van Gogh painting.

80. Hope you can keep this in mind when taking an elephant shit.

Still, doesn't answer how you can toilet train an elephant though. But this is hysterical.

Still, doesn’t answer how you can toilet train an elephant though. But this is hysterical.

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