A Series of Unfortunate Events: The Musical – “Ish Shot Count Olaf”

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Now that Ishmael has infected everyone with the deadly Medusoid Mycelium, the Baudelaires see no choice but to return to the arboretum. Not to mention, Count Olaf blames Ishmael for causing all their deaths along with the children. But everyone’s pointing fingers. Thanks to their experience with Sunny’s infection during The Grim Grotto, they have a good idea that horseradish and wasabi can cure it. But where to find it? They’re not so sure since there’s none to be found in the kitchen. So they frantically look in the Captain’s log which is aptly called A Series of Unfortunate Events since they’re running out of time. Then Klaus spots a reference to horseradish in an entry by their father: “‘We’re attempting a botanical hybrid through the tuberous canopy, which should bring safety to fruition despite its dangers to our associates in utero. Of course, in case we are banished, Beatrice is hiding a small amount in a vess-’” Apparently, they concealed the horseradish in another plant. But then Inky slithers down offering the kids the lifesaving apple they need.

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The song I decided for this scene is the Eric Clapton version of Bob Marley’s “I Shot the Sheriff” recounting a guy shooting a corrupt local sheriff for bothering him over growing marijuana. To be fair, it was in self-defense since the sheriff tried to shoot him. But the authorities really don’t see it that way and then book him for shooting a deputy. In this version, I have the Baudelaires scramble for a cure for the Medusoid Mycelium at the arboretum.

 

“Ish Shot Count Olaf”

Sung by Violet and Klaus Baudelaire

Klaus:
Ish shot Count Olaf, but he also shot the shattered glass.
Ish shot Count Olaf, but he also shot the shattered glass.

Medusoid spread on the island
Poisoning everyone at hand.
Everyone’s all pointing their fingers
Instead of trying to find remedy
Instead of trying to find remedy
We say:

Violet:
Ish shot Count Olaf, we must go to the arboretum
Ish shot Count Olaf, if we don’t, we will all be surely done

Let us not get very panicky;
Cordials won’t work now.
A horseradish cure is what we need
Better we get out and find a cure
Better we get out and find a cure
We say:

Ish shot Count Olaf, we must go to the arboretum
Ish shot Count Olaf, we must go to the arboretum

Kitchen has spices our way
Horseradish, is not found.
Surely there must be horseradish around
Wonder what our folks had round.
Where can our, our cure be found?
We say:

Klaus:
Ish shot Count Olaf, but he also shot the shattered glass.
Ish shot Count Olaf, but he also shot the shattered glass.

Folks tried some botanic hybrid
Through a tuber canopy.
Said it’s not safe for those in utero.
It’s blended into some other plant.
Yes, it’s blended in some other plant.
But we say:

Both:
Ish shot Count Olaf, but he also shot the shattered glass, oh no.
Ish shot Count Olaf, but he also shot the shattered glass, oh no.

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