A Series of Unfortunate Events: The Musical – “Departure Song”


Fortunately, the Baudelaires cure themselves of the Medusoid Mycelium just in time. But unfortunately, when Violet uses the periscope to check on the flooding situation in order to rescue Kit Snicket, she discovers the islanders getting the outrigger ready and preparing to leave. So they quickly gather apples and bring them to the coastal shelf. The Baudelaires try to convince to take the apples and cure themselves, but since they’re doped up on coconut cordial, see them as the ones who got them into this situation, and head by Ishmael’s every word, they don’t listen. And did I say Ishmael isn’t as much affected than the other colonists since he had already eaten the apples? Not to mention, he grabs the apple stockpot and throws them into the water as well as a refuses to have them onboard. Because apparently, they’ll be en route to a horseradish factory on Lousy Lane. But not before the kids sneak an apple onboard for Friday so they don’t want her to die. So Ishmael basically bullies his followers into leaving to the sea and most likely to their deaths. So yeah, Ishmael committed genocide. Though briefly torn, the Baudelaires decide to stay with Kit and help her have her baby. She tells them about what happened to the Quagmires, Hector, and Captain Widdershins with his stepchildren which constitutes both aircraft and seacraft crashing into each other and being swallowed by the Great Unknown. The kids tell her that Dewey is dead and realizing she needs rescued, go and fetch Count Olaf.


The song I went with is the downcast “Work Song” from Les Miserables where Jean Valjean is released from prison on parole, endures the stigma being an ex-con, and visits the bishop before stealing his silverware. In this version, I cover the islanders departure to Kit filling the Baudelaires about their friends. She even said that before her disappearance Fiona was desperate to reach Klaus and wanted to forgive her as well, which I omitted. Though I think Klaus already had by this point though he’s still broken hearted about the whole thing.


“Departure Song”

Look down, look down
Don’t look ’em in the eye
Look down, look down,
We leave before we die

The sun is strong
It’s hot as hell ashore

Look down, look down,
We must leave fast for cure

Let’s move along!
We don’t have much time here.

Look down, look down,
Ishmael will force us there.

Hold on, please wait,
We’ve got a cure for you!

Look down, look down,
They’re all lying to you

For Christ please, just please eat these
You’ll be fine!

Look down, look down
Don’t look ’em in the eye

How long, oh Lord
Before you let me die?

Look down, look down,
Let’s get in this wood boat
Look down, look down,
Get in before we croak

You have no clue on the Medusoid Mycelium
It takes an hour
Until it chokes you done
You know what that means.

Yes, it means we die.

It means you’re dead
When you reach the factory
Your time is brief

Don’t listen to these kids.

You won’t make it.

Take this apple, Friday.

Stay away from them for God’s sake
Don’t even trust them

Go get on the boat
We do not have another moment left.

Those shrooms were here before we were born
Our folks made these plants

You know that as well as I
You eat while your people die
Can’t you listen to us now?

You rocked it, Baudelaires

You killed them, Ishmael
Do not forget your crime!
Do not forget that!
It’s called genocide

Look down, look down,
Let’s get in this wood boat
Look down, look down,
Get in before we croak

We must stay here. We must help Kit
She’s on the coast. She’ll soon give birth.
So she needs us
She’ll be in labor

Ishmael drugs and bullies them away.
The won’t survive, no way.
Inky gave one
Will it save them?
It’s such a pity – every one.
The islanders
Will die at sea.
Water’s coming
We must now flee!

My water broke
I can’t take an apple
Sorry that I took you three kids
To Hotel Denouement

I should’ve taken you three
To see the Quagmires
Duncan and Isadora
Now know Quigley’s fine

Fernald and Fiona
Reunited with their stepdad
There was a large sea crash
Sub crashed into zeppelin

I made a massive quick book raft
And made it out of there though on my own
But everyone else who was there
Were later swallowed
By what’s called The Great Unknown
Hope Dewey can forgive me
The next time he sees me

Dewey is dead
Disemboweled by a harpoon
We’re feeling sort of guilty
We didn’t tell you as soon

It was an accident
He fell in a pond
We also helped Count Olaf
Burn up the whole hotel

We’re sorry, Kit
That we’ve done so much wrong
Now let us push your raft of books
Back to the shore.

Now you three kids stop that please
I’ve got nothing to live for you see
They’re dead and gone

One brother missing another killed
While my true love Dewey Denouement
Is dead and gone!
I will die
Ring’s yours to keep
Take care of my baby.

But remember this you children,
I will die soon after the birth
Name this kid after one parent
Depending if it’s a boy or girl

Well, we got the raft within shore
But we can’t get you down or off
I don’t have time for a contraption
So it seems we must ask Count Olaf.

Are you raving mad?
You know that’s just insane
You know the hell he’s caused
Since the whole thing began

There’s nobody else right now
For everyone has left
So we’ve just got Count Olaf
We got to find him now
We got to get Kit out
A flood is coming round
And we can’t really help
So we must go see him
We must persist
Till he gives in

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