As the Hook-Handed Man gives his insight into the moral ambiguity of life,  Fiona and the elder Baudelaires try to pressure him to take them back to the Queequeg so they can help Sunny who’s chances of surviving are slipping every minute. Fernald is reluctant to aid them since things go badly which lands him on the receiving end of Olaf’s angry outbursts. But Fiona keeps pushing on as her brother makes a point like, “Why does it matter since both sides do terrible things?” Then Violet reveals the article by Jacques Snicket she had been holding since the Gorgonian Grotto under the headline “Verifying Fernald’s Defection” which reads: “It has now been confirmed that the fire that destroyed Anwhistle Aquatics, and took the life of famed ichnologist Gregor Anwhistle, was set by Fernald Widdershins, the son of the captain of the Queequeg submarine. The Widdershins family’s participation in a recent schism has raised several questions regarding…” Fernald reveals that he’s not proud of what he did but then he goes into his rant on human ambiguity and raises that the Baudelaires burned down the Caligari Carnival, a fire he willingly participated in. All while Klaus is pleading with him on Sunny’s behalf.

The song I went with here is David Bowie’s “Starman” which is about Ziggy Stardust bringing a message of hope to Earth’s youth, through the radio, salvation by an alien “Starman.” Though other interpretations range from the Second Coming to Close Encounters of the Third Kind. In this version Violet confronts the Hook-Handed Man about the fire he started at Anwhistle Aquatics while Klaus pleads with him to save Sunny’s life.

“Arson”

Sung by Violet and Klaus Baudelaire

Violet:
Found this clipping while we were in the grotto
While we searched for the Sugar Bowl
Poison mushrooms gave us no place to go
Your sister said you two played a game
Got a sinking feeling when she said your name
So, I claimed the piece was too blurred to read

You did arson and you took a life
You burned Anwhistle Aquatics
Along with Greg Anwhistle alive
You did arson and you took a life
It’s in the Punctilio
Do you think you’re justified?

Klaus:
For God’s sake please
Let us get to Queequeg
Let us save our Sunny
Or else she’s going to die

Violet:
There may be mistakes in the Punctilio
But you just confessed you did it so
You think we’re no better but now you must let us go
We may have burned down Caligari
But you were there as a willing party
Your boss forced us but now it’s spread far and wide

You did arson and you took a life
You burned Anwhistle Aquatics
Along with Greg Anwhistle alive
You did arson and you took a life
It’s in the Punctilio
Do you think you’re justified?

Klaus:
For God’s sake please
Let us get to Queequeg
Let us save our Sunny
Or else she’s going to die

Violet:
You did arson and you took a life
You burned Anwhistle Aquatics
Along with Greg Anwhistle alive
You did arson and you took a life
It’s in the Punctilio
Do you think you’re justified?

Klaus:
For God’s sake please
Let us get to Queequeg
Let us save our Sunny
Or else she’s going to die