Now Fernald has a very funny way of looking at life and as to why he sided with Count Olaf. As to why, because he couldn’t stand his control freak stepdad ordering him around and proclaims that Widdershins isn’t his last name. Though he’s right about the Daily Punctilio getting a lot of stuff wrong. Yet, he admitted to it in front of the kids despite not being proud of it. Nonetheless, his motivations behind joining the troupe makes absolutely no sense since Olaf basically orders him around anyway. But he then states, “Well Olaf isn’t all bad. For instance, he has a wonderful laugh.” So do a lot of villains but that doesn’t justify their villainous behavior. He then goes on to say, “People aren’t either wicked or noble. They’re like chef’s salads, with good things and bad things chopped and mixed together in a vinaigrette of confusion and conflict.” It’s a good analogy and he’s right but while the Baudelaires might’ve done wicked things, they were either forced to or because they didn’t see any legal alternative to getting something they needed or wanted like The Snicket File. Besides, they’re clearly not the aggressor in their situation which they were forced into by circumstances beyond their control. But to Fernald, the only difference between him and the Baudelaires are the portraits on their sub uniforms.

For Fernald’s worldview, I used The Who’s “Behind Blue Eyes” which was written as a villain song who believes he’s forced into villainy but feel he’s a good guy. Yet, he’s also full of angst because of all the pressure and temptation surrounding him. The Hook-Handed Man fits this description almost to a T. Because I only changed the bridge electric guitar section of this song the most.

“Behind Hooked Hands

Sung by Fernald, the Hook-Handed Man

No one knows what it’s like
To be the bad man
To be the sad man
Behind hooked hands

No one knows what it’s like
To be hated
To be fated
To telling only lies

But my dreams
They aren’t as empty
As my conscience
Seems to be

I have hours
Only lonely
My love is vengeance
That’s never free

No one knows what it’s like
To feel these feelings
Like I do
And I blame you

No one bites back as hard
On their anger
None of my pain and woe
Can show through

But my dreams
They aren’t as empty
As my conscience
Seems to be

I have hours
Only lonely
My love is vengeance
That’s never free

We’re neither wicked
Nor so noble
Like chef’s salads
In doubt and strife

Do you really
Think we’re so different?
You’ve burned things down
And so have I

We’ve joined sub crews
With volatile captains
Trying to reach
The same hotel

The only difference
We wear different portraits
On our suits
As far I can tell

No one knows what it’s like
To be the bad man
To be the sad man
Behind hooked hands