A Series of Unfortunate Events: The Musical – “Ravagers”

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Shortly after Hal’s announcement, Count Olaf has announced that the fire has spread to a few wards on the bottom floors and tells everyone there to catch the Baudelaires. Though he does suggest anyone can rescue some of the trapped patients. Now the children seem trapped. The audience is calling for their arrest. And Esme has threatened to save one of the kids and kill the other two with her heels. Though no one believes that she’s actually intent do off the Baudelaires. Not to mention Klaus still has a knife in his hand, which he brandishes. Though the Hook-Handed Man debates on whether he’d use it. Klaus just throws the knife on the floor and pushes the gurney through the door. Of course, Hal stops them at one point, but Sunny bites his hand to get out of the way. While the hospital is burning and the crowd pursues the Baudelaires, Violet is slowly getting out of her drug induced coma though Klaus is pleading her to wake up. Yet, once they get into the Ward for People with Nasty Rashes, the Baudelaires find themselves trapped among the crowd pursuing them from behind and a fire from ahead. So they hide in a supply closet.

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Since it’s a moment of high tension and excitement, I used “Savages” from Disney’s Pocahontas which pertains to racism with the English settlers and Indians gearing up for battle that’s set to take off with John Smith’s execution in the morning. Meanwhile, Pocahontas is rushing in to stop this whole bloody mess that will kill the man she loves and erupt into a conflict that will help no one as well as destroy her people. Still, though Indian and settler tensions did increase in later years, this scene isn’t quite accurate. In this version, I have the Baudelaires trying to escape from Heimlich Hospital as Count Olaf and Esme are urging the people inside to go after them.

 

“Ravagers”

Count Olaf (as Mattathias):
What can you expect
From murderous young orphans?
Their little archives blazes has spread to wards
So catch the Baudelaires
Or help patients down the stairs
They’re killers, as I said
And worse

Hospital Staff:
They’re ravagers! Ravagers!

Count Olaf:
Psychopathic orphans

Hospital Staff:
Ravagers! Ravagers!

Count Olaf:
Catch them in the halls!
They’ve set this place aflame
Which means they must be evil
We must chase within the wards!

Hospital Staff:
They’re ravagers! Ravagers!
Heartless child killers!
Now we chase within the wards!

Esme:
This is the plan here
I kill two of the orphans
We’ll keep the third to get hold of their green

Klaus:
You won’t get our assets
Or stilettos on our necks

Count Olaf:
Who gets them picks where we’ll eat

Hospital Staff:
They’re ravagers! Ravagers!
Heartless child killers!
Ravagers! Ravagers!

Hook-Handed Man:
Are you brave to kill?

Klaus:
You need not nerve to kill
Just a lack of moral stamina
I’ll throw this knife onto the floor

Hospital Staff:
They’re ravagers! Ravagers!

Klaus:
Now I push the gurney
Sorry, Hal, but we need the floor

Hospital Staff:
Ravagers! Ravagers!

Hal:
Jesus, that baby bit me!

Hospital Staff:
Ravagers! Ravagers!

Count Olaf:
Heimlich is on fire!

Hospital Staff:
Ravagers! Ravagers!
Heartless child killers!
Now we chase within the wards!

Klaus:
Is there nothing I can do?
Will this really be the end?
Is it only death that waits
Just inside the hospital?

Count Olaf:
This will be the night …

Let’s go, guys!

Esme:
This will be the evening …

Seek out the Baudelaires!

Troupe:
We will see them dying in the flames

Klaus:
I don’t know what I can do
Still, I know I’ve got to try

Troupe:
Now we make ’em pay

Klaus:
Push the gurney out to fly

Troupe:
Now without a warning …

Klaus:
C’mon, Violet, please awake

Troupe and Hospital Staff:
Now we chase them down the down the corridors

Klaus:
Can’t push further down the stairs
We can’t go up
Please, Violet, please awake…

Troupe and Hospital Staff:
They’re just a bunch of
Cold and heartless
Ravagers!
Ravagers!
Killers!
Burners!

Count Olaf:
Get them!

Troupe and Hospital Staff:
Ravagers!
Ravagers!

Count Olaf:
What are we waiting for?
Just leave this burning place
Unless you’re with me then

Klaus:
Move through the nasty rash ward

Troupe:
We will chase within the wards

Hospital Staff:
Ravagers! Ravagers!

Troupe:
Now, we chase within the wards

Hospital Staff:
Ravagers! Ravagers!

Klaus:
There’s fire up ahead
And a crowd up from the back

Troupe:
Now we chase within…the…wards!

Hospital Staff:
Of course we chase within…the…wards!

Klaus:
Guess there is nowhere to go
Just a closet left to hide!

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