Now you’d think that Katniss Everdeen would have a chance in the arena with her wilderness survival skills that she’s developed due to her need to help her family, especially after her dad died in a mining explosion when she was eleven. However, the Hunger Games are also a reality show, a very sick one that commits human rights abuses, but a reality show nonetheless. So while Katniss can survive in the arena, it’s not everything. And the Capitol is hungry for drama and tributes who are appealing for the cameras like being hot or having a great personality that would get them sponsors to help them survive. It’s important for tributes to make themselves appealing in the days leading up to the Hunger Games. Unfortunately, while Katniss can look great in a pretty dress after she’s groomed up a bit, she doesn’t have the kind of personality that would stand up to sponsors and win over audiences. And let’s just say there’s not much time for Haymitch, Cinna, and her prep team to pull a My Fair Lady transformation either. However, Peeta Mellark certainly does and his love confession for Katniss on national television (a crush he had since he was 5) helps Haymitch market her as the object of Peeta’s affections. Of course, Katniss has to play along whether she wants to or not. But such star-crossed lover romance helps them both survive the Games in the first book.

Now for the parody, I based it on “You’re the One That I Want” a final song from Grease. Yes, I know Katniss is supposed to be a role model to young girls while Olivia Newton John’s character basically is the antithesis of what every girl should do to get a guy like change everything about yourself. Then again, Travolta kind of liked her anyway, but still. And the original is a cheesy love song about needing a man. However, in the Hunger Games version, it’s not a love song and I have it sung by Haymitch. And he’s telling Katniss to at least pretend to reciprocate Peeta’s love for her in order to win the audience and attract sponsors that will help them survive the Games. Of course, he’s talking to a sixteen-year-old girl who’s about as emotionally stunted as Scarlett O’Hara. Still, this is certainly a situation where Katniss might really need a man in her life, particularly one like Peeta. I mean she needs all the help she could get. Besides, I thought having him sing a song from a 1950s style musical from the 1970s would be hilarious.

 

“Be the One That They Want”

Sung by Haymitch Abernathy with backup from Katniss’s Prep Team

 

You got skills, I’m not lying

But they won’t help you

If the Capitol won’t be buying

Then you’ll be dying!

 

You better shape up cause you need a man

So their hearts are set on you

You better shape up, you better understand

You need them to sponsor you (cause by yourself, you won’t even pull through)

 

Be the one that they want(Be the one they want) oh oh oh sweetheart

Be the one that they want(Be the one they want) oh oh oh sweetheart

Be the one that they want(Be the one they want) oh oh oh sweetheart

The one that he neeeeeeds oh yes indee-ee-heed

 

Be the girl of Peeta’s affections

That will sure help your case

Meditate in my direction

Fake your way

 

You better shape up, cause you need a man (you need a man)

Who can keep them satisfied

You better shape up, if you’re gonna prove (you better prove)

That my faith is justified

That one of you could sure win and survive

 

Be the one that they want(Be the one they want) oh oh oh sweetheart

Be the one that they want(Be the one they want) oh oh oh sweetheart

Be the one that they want(Be the one they want) oh oh oh sweetheart

The one that he neeeeeeds oh yes indee-ee-heed

 

Be the one that they want(Be the one they want) oh oh oh sweetheart

Be the one that they want(Be the one they want) oh oh oh sweetheart

Be the one that they want(Be the one they want) oh oh oh sweetheart

The one that he neeeeeeds oh yes indee-ee-heed

 

Be the one that they want(Be the one they want) oh oh oh sweetheart

Be the one that they want(Be the one they want) oh oh oh sweetheart

Be the one that they want(Be the one they want) oh oh oh sweetheart

The one that he neeeeeeds oh yes indee-ee-heed

 

Be the one that they want(Be the one they want) oh oh oh sweetheart

Be the one that they want(Be the one they want) oh oh oh sweetheart

Be the one that they want(Be the one they want) oh oh oh sweetheart

The one that he neeeeeeds oh yes indee-ee-heed