Sure winter isn’t really upon us yet and I haven’t see much snow since Thanksgiving. Not only that, but while people in the Southern Hemisphere celebrate Christmas in the summer as well as live in places that don’t snow at all in December. Nevertheless, snowmen are among those presented among the Christmas motifs because well, Santa lives in the North Pole and Christmas is a winter holiday in at least places like Europe, North America, Antarctica, the Arctic, and mountain regions. Now it’s not uncommon during the winter for kids to build a snowman though the snow has to be under certain conditions (such as being there for awhile to stick), especially in places where snowfall is a rarer event. A typical snowman consists of 3 snowballs of different sizes with some additional stuff for facial and body features and accessories like branches for arms, a smiley face, a carrot nose, stones and coal for eyes and buttons as well as things like a hat or a scarf. Most of the time they’re abandoned once completed and after a photo op as well as eventually melt. Of course, in this post, you’ll see a lot of different snowmen. Some may be cute, some may be pop culture inspired, and some may be rather demented. So without further adieu, here are some pictures of the wonderful world of snowmen.
1. Aww, a snowman holding his kid on his shoulders.
Of course, I love how they used a pair of kids’ pants, shoes, and mittens for this. Yet, I’m sure that kid is going to be a real pain in the ass when he’s older.
2. Looks like this snowman wants to end it all.
You know if Crusty is so unhappy with his life, why bother hanging himself on a park bench? I mean, he’ll melt away once spring comes so ending his life is just pointless, really.
3. This snowman is quite the acrobat.
My question on this piece is this: How in the hell did a person manage to make a snowman climbing a tree? It’s insane!
4. Man, sure wouldn’t want to fall how he did.
Of course, if this was a person, he’d be dead. Seriously, the fall would’ve killed him or he’d be injured so badly for the ICU.
5. Seems like this snowman has a drinking problem and is now sleeping on the streets.
Wait a minute, aren’t snowmen supposed to be outdoors anyway? Then again, this guy’s sleeping on a park bench so he probably doesn’t have a yard to stand in.
6. For your afternoon fix, DJ Snow will air songs like, “Baby, It’s Cold Outside,” “Ice, Ice, Baby,” “Let It Snow,” “A Hazy Shade of Winter,” “Walking in the Winter Wonderland,” “Cold As Ice,” “Snowballed,” “Snowblind,” “Do You Want to Build a Snowman?” and “A Whiter Shade of Pale.”
Of course, that microphone and ear phones won’t be usable again once winter is over. Still, hope they were in bad shape to begin with.
7. May I introduce you to the NRA Snowman whose guns you can have if you can pry them from his warm dead hands. And, yes, he’s standing his ground.
Musty the Snowman wasn’t really a jollly, happy soul since he’s always been fearful of someone encroaching his property and home invasions. Please don’t put that magical old silk hat on him or he’d begin to shoot around. Hope he wasn’t built near a school.
8. Now this snowman sure is punk.
“You talking to me? Are you talking to me?” Man, this snowman doesn’t seem to happy. Yet, you have to admire how they made his mohawk from tree branches.
9. “Hello, my name’s Olaf and I like warm hugs.”
Of course, you have to have Olaf from Frozen on this post. However, that section where he’s singing about summer is kind of disturbing if you really think of it. I mean he certainly wouldn’t survive that.
10. Now building a snowman is one thing, building a snowman army, well that takes dedication.
Of course, if your neighbor built a snowman army, you wonder how he or she ever had the time. Either that, or questioning their sanity.
11. “Oh, no, it’s the Iceman Cometh. Phyllis, get the hair dryer!”
Note: while The Iceman Cometh is a play by Eugene O’Neill, it’s not about a psychokiller snowman, unfortunately. That’s a joke.
12. Seems like this snowman really likes to do tricks with his head.
Now I know a headless snowman may freak you out but Rocko is a very nice guy once you get to know him. He wouldn’t hurt a fly.
13. This snowman has a habit of leaning next to buildings.
Of course, I hope he doesn’t do any damage to the house once he starts melting. That or if a blizzard comes. Seems like he might fall over. Boy, those kids must’ve had some ambition to build a snowman this tall.
14. Seems like this snowman has enough snow to hit you and then some.
Of course, you don’t want to tell him that he looks like Princess Leia. Because that would be bad. Seriously, you wouldn’t want to do that.
15. Just a friendly snowman riding his bike.
Yet, I have no idea how this guy is wearing a summer camo hat and sunglasses on a cold cloudy day. Then again, he’s a snowman.
16. Seems this snowman has hit rock bottom or has had a few too many.
Remember that friends don’t let friends get their snowmen drunk. Also, giving Dusky a pack of Miller Lite pints wasn’t a good idea.
17. Seems like Snowball here is going on his cycling tour.
Then again, I’m not so sure if Snowball is a snow “man” or whether he or she is going anywhere if you know what I mean. Still, that bike is bound to get rusty.
18. Of course, you can’t do a post on snowmen without including one on Eric Cartman from South Park.
Now this snowman sure captures Cartman in perhaps a way that will make Matt Stone and Trey Parker proud. Still, we have to concede that Cartman is the most annoying character on the show. Oh, why can’t he be killed in every episode instead of Kenny?
19. Snow zombies are rising from their graves for your brains.
Yet, unlike real zombies, at least you can defeat snow zombies with a hair dryer. Seriously, they’re very easy to kill, especially in warmer weather.
20. Looks like that things aren’t all fun and games in Snowmanland.
Man, I didn’t know snowmen bleed when stabbed. I thought they’d just melt away. Still, this display would make the neighbors cringe.
21. Nothing makes a snowman like one in the likeness of a Lego person.
Man, these kids seem to have too much time on their hands. Then again, this might’ve been made by a real artist. Still, possibly the biggest Lego person I’ve ever seen.
22. Jabba the Hutt snowman would like to hire you to bring Han Solo to him dead or alive.
Of course, I always have to have at least one thing on this post relating to Star Wars. Still, I have yet to see a snowman of Han Solo frozen in carbonite.
23. Now this snowman would really wish you give him some privacy.
Still, I’m surprised that he’s built on some street, possibly for a contest. Nevertheless, you might want to clear out when he’s done because he might use the newspaper on where the sun don’t shine.
24. This snowman is just going on his relaxing ice fishing trip.
Of course, Andy likes to go ice fishing since he really doesn’t have many fishing options other than that. Still, I’m sure he’s not going to get much fish from a small puddle.
25. Oh, my God, it’s the snowman zombie apocalypse! Run for your lives!
Now I’m sure that it will all be over by spring since these zombie snowmen will have already melted. Still, you might want to get your hair dryer.
26. A can of beer in one hand and a bottle of beer in the other.
Seems like this snowman has a bit of drinking problem. Perhaps he should consider going on a 12 step or AA. Then again, he may not have the time.
27. And you thought a snowman couldn’t do a handstand.
Man, I wonder how this upside down snowman manages to stand up so well. Then again, it has a bigger than average snowman head, which helps so to speak.
28. “Hello, hello, hello, what do we have here?”
Of course, you know these snowmen are from Britain because of the Bobby police hats. Still, you don’t want to go near their nightsticks.
29. Oh, my God! Looks like a snowman just got buried in the snow!
Don’t let this become like the episode of Boardwalk Empire where Gyp Rossetti had a guy buried in the sand up to his head and whacked him with a shovel. Yet, I have a bad feeling it would come to this.
30. “Get out of the snow! There’s a snowshark coming!”
Of course, we all know that sharks don’t swim in the snow nor does anyone else. Still pretty funny and very creative.
31. How would you like to get your mail in this snowman mailbox?
Now I wonder how they manage to make a mail box snowman. I mean don’t mailboxes have stands for most of the year. Still, I wonder what mail carriers think about this.
32. While it’s certainly winter, these snowpeople are lounging around like it’s summer.
Then again, they are snowpeople so it’s not like they’re freezing their asses off. Still, I hope the woman is wearing a swimsuit.
33. Of course, this snowman is in a moment of deep thought and contemplation.
This might not be a snowman of Tim Tebow or it may not. Either way, that pose reminds me of how he used to get in that pose to pray. Nevertheless, that guy was just an annoying self-righteous turd.
34. Nothing makes a great moment as two snowmen sharing a beer on the street.
Seems like these snowman don’t give a shit about anything right now. Still, you have to appreciate how they enjoy each other’s quality time.
35. Now this snowman is just lounging around with a beer while holding a Frisbee.
Well, this guy seems to be really enjoying himself. Still, why do I see a lot of snowmen with beer bottles? I wonder.
36. I give you, the Invasion of the Snowmen.
Man, I wonder if these people realize that the snowman infestation is becoming quite a problem in this town. Then again, there’s always spring.
37. Seems like Frosty is doing a kegstand. And I thought he was a family friendly figure.
I hope this snowman is in a neighborhood where there aren’t a lot of children. I mean few parents would tolerate a kegstand snowman.
38. Seems like some snowmen are really into voodoo magic.
I don’t know about you but I have to admit I do find the stirring of shrunken snowman heads quite funny for some reason. Still, hope no snowman sacrifice was involved.
39. Just my luck, a snowman crime scene.
Seemed like someone didn’t care much for Frosty the snowman so they whacked him over the head with the shovel and decapitated him.
40. These snowmen are on the deck engaged in a poker game for money.
Let’s hope that none of these guys develop a gambling addiction which is very destructive. Still, seems they enjoy beer and potato chips.
41. This snowman really delights in surfing the net.
Let’s hope the keyboard and monitor are the only computer components used in this. Still, pretty clever.
42. Oh, my God, they put a snow kid in a cage!
Now this is either hilarious, demented, or both. Still, I have to feel bad for the little snow kid in the cage and its parent in a state of distress.
43. This R2 D2 snowman will service your every needs.
While R2 D2 only speaks in beeps in the Star Wars Saga, you can always understand this ornery little droid that has quite the fiery personality.
44. “Stop right there, your money or your life.”
Never underestimate the power of a mugger snowman armed with a hair dryer. For snowmen, these grooming appliances are absolutely deadly.
45. Seems like this snowman is ready for a hike or scaling a building.
If he wants to scale a building, he better be careful. Else, he might end up like the snowman I showed earlier. You know, the one with the backpack.
46. This snowman really has an elaborate hairstyle if you know what I mean.
Of course, if I were him, I’d consider going to a hair salon to get haircut. Oh, wait, I’d have him go to the pruner’s if he has an office.
47. Seems like Olympia Snowe really delights in the attention.
By “Olympia Snowe” I mean this snowman which is said to be the largest in the world. However, I can’t help but think that there’s something “phallic” about it though.
48. “By the power vested in me, I now pronounce you snow man and snow wife.”
Now I suppose this snow couple would be best suited for a winter wedding. Yet, I bet that bridal veil isn’t cheap if you know what I mean. Still, they’ll be together till melt do they part.
49. Seems like these snow children are having fun frolicking in a winter wonderland.
Someone must’ve had too much time on their hands for this one. Still, it’s pretty clever if you know what I mean.
50. Oh, my God, it’s the Staypuft Marshmallow Man from Ghostbusters.
Now this is just so great. Yet, I think this one looks too much like the Michelin Tire Man and his head is a little too small.
51. When snowmen bowl, heads will roll, literally.
Still, I wonder how these snowmen take aim of when trying to knock down some pins. I mean you have to know where to hit the pins before you roll your head.
52. This snowman is pumping himself up, one set of barbells at a time.
Of course, he wants to start small for a time and then move up a few weights. Still, hope he doesn’t become a lunk.
53. Seems like Spongebob Squarepants likes the winter weather.
Now I’m not sure that it looks anywhere near like Spongebob if you know what I mean. Then again, I didn’t have cable as a child and didn’t watch the show.
54. This snowman is just making a rather important call.
What astounds me most about this display is how the person building this snowman managed to find a phone booth.
55. Now this snowman display seems like a take off of Gulliver’s Travels.
I suppose this snowman feels trapped under the ropes of the smaller ones who tied him up. Still, pretty clever.
56. Now this snowman really has a penchant for playing the accordion.
Of course, the accordion is almost lifelike and the snowman is sure happy. Still, I don’t why it doesn’t have a pair of eyes or a nose.
57. Looks like a snowman has been a victim of a hit and run.
Now to the shock of the snowman, it seems that this car’s owner is really not going to be happy when they find a snowman on their car.
58. This snowman seems to be quite the wall scaler.
This is said to be a snowman rendition of Spiderman. Yet, I don’t know if I can be sure of that. Still, how did they make a snowman like that?
59. “Aaaah! A snowman just fell on my car!”
How would you like to get up in the morning and find something like that on your windshield? I’m sure I wouldn’t.
60. I’m sure this is called, “Orcus on His Porcelain Throne.”
Now I’m sure this guy is thinking deep thoughts as he’s on the pot. Of course, I wonder what he’s going to do when he’s done.
The Lone Girl in a Crowd 