A Series of Unfortunate Events: The Musical – “Ishmael’s Tent”

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Since there was a storm on the island’s shores, the island’s castaways scavenge for junk on the coast which they present to Ishmael. A man named Alonso shows a propeller which Violet claimed she could use as a fan. But Ishmael thinks it would cause too much of a fuss so Alonso puts it on the sleigh. Next it’s Ariel who presents a paper knife, which Klaus thinks could be used for books washing up shore. But Ishmael says if it’s up to him, he’d get rid of it. So she does. Third is Sherman who’s found a cheese grater, which Sunny say she could use to make coconut cake. But Ishmael says he doesn’t have any cheese. So onto the sleigh it goes. And so it goes for all the other islanders who manage to find crap. Let’s just say while Ishmael claims he doesn’t force anyone to do what he wants, somehow his followers heed him by every word as he leads them in the direction he wants. This pisses off the Baudelaires since they feel all the stuff being hauled off to the arboretum can be of use, particularly to their talents.

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In this part, I used “The Temple” song from Jesus Christ Superstar which I also used for the Hob for the Hunger Games musical. The original version has Jesus lose his temper, overturn the money changing tables, and chase people with a whip. In this version, I have the islanders present items to Ishmael who has them put on the sheep sleigh to the arboretum. Not to mention, this moment is very relevant in Ishmael’s true character akin to a cult leader. Seriously, Ishmael is a very dangerous man.

 

Ishmael’s Tent”

Islanders:
Here we come from the coastal shelf
Check out all this stuff yourself
Get a load of this one-way sign
This washed up mirror’s so divine
Take a look at this propeller
Get a glance this neat hammer
We can use this typewriter
How about this window, sir?
I got things you won’t believe.
Please don’t send them with the sheep
We can gut this fine fish to eat
I found a grater that shreds cheese
Roll on up for our latest finds
This wet dagger cuts mighty fine
Let’s see what just in this wine
Hope you approve this dish in kind
What you see is what you get.
Hope Ish’s not disappointed yet
Don’t be scared give me a try,
What’s the fuck’s up with this guy?
Got to see all these shiny things
Hope I can hide it fast.
Got to keep this from Ish’s path
Do not want to incite his wrath.
Here we come from the coastal shelf
Check out all this stuff yourself
Get a load of this one-way sign
This washed up mirror’s so divine
Take a look at this propeller
Get a glance this neat hammer
We can use this typewriter
How about this window, sir?
I got things you won’t believe.
I got things you won’t believe.
Please don’t send them with the sheep
We can gut this

(fade, screaming)

Ishmael:
These items aren’t useful around here,
So load them up on the sleigh with sheep
Take out! Take out!
Now I won’t force you to
But it’s all up to you
After all, I’ve tried for decades
Seems like ninety, seems like ninety.

Islanders:
Okay, Ish, you might be right
This is a wholly useless find
This thing will just cause a fuss
Guess it’s best for all of us
I’ll put this on the sheep led sleigh
We don’t need thing, anyway
Okay, Ish, this thing’s just too much
It’s not really worth all the constant fuss
Yes, Ish, let’s all get rid of these silly things
We can’t really use these for anything
Go ahead, take them to the arboretum
Best we put where we won’t see them

Okay, Ish, you might be right
This is a wholly useless find
This thing will just cause a fuss
Guess it’s best for all of us
I’ll put this on the sheep led sleigh
We don’t need thing, anyway
Okay, Ish, this thing’s just too much
It’s not really worth all the constant fuss
Yes, Ish, let’s all get rid of these silly things
We can’t really use these for anything
Go ahead, take them to the arboretum
Best we put where we won’t see them

Violet:
What the hell are they doing…that’s not junk
I can use quite a few things…what the fuck?
What the hell?

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