Unfortunately, just as Violet and Klaus start up the submarine, Count Olaf’s octo-sub returns and swallows up the Queequeg. Laughing menacingly, Olaf then cuts out a porthole to let himself in. Once again, he hoped the Baudelaires were dead which disappointed him because they told him they knew about the Sugar Bowl’s whereabouts. Though it doesn’t make sense since he needs at least one of them alive to get their fortune. Since then, Count Olaf has met up with the two mysterious figures at the Hotel Denouement before coming back to off some of his enemies like the Baudelaires. Now in the main hall, Fiona’s not impressed to se Olaf who asked where her stepdad is and noted about throwing thumbtacks into her cradle. Let’s just say, he keeps taunting and trying to recruit her from there.

For a second time, I decided to go with the Village People. This time it’s “In the Navy” which I couldn’t resist when it comes to a novel focused on submarines. In this version, I have Count Olaf come inside the Queequeg and try to recruit Fiona for his troupe. Yes, I know he’s not really trying to urge her to join the Navy. But it’s kind of hilarious.

 

“In the Navy” (ASOUE Version)

Sung by Count Olaf

Count Olaf:
Where can you find pleasure
Search the world for treasure
Steal children’s securities
Where can you begin to make your dreams all come true
On the land or on the sea
Where you can commit crimes
Put on plays in disguise
Live aboard a submarine
Sign up for the big band
Or sit in the grandstand
When your team and others meet

Troupe: In the navy
Count Olaf: Yes, you can sail the seven seas
Troupe: In the navy
Count Olaf: Yes, you can put your mind at ease
Troupe: In the navy
Count Olaf: Come on now, Tri-Eyes, make a stand
Troupe: In the navy, in the navy
Count Olaf: Can’t you see we need a hand
Troupe: In the navy
Count Olaf: Come on, now where is your stepdad?
Troupe: In the navy
Count Olaf: Come on and join your fellow man
Troupe: In the navy
Count Olaf: Come on people, and make a stand
Troupe: In the navy, in the navy, in the navy (in the navy)

Troupe:
We want you, we want you
We want you as a new recruit

Count Olaf:
If you like adventure
Don’t you wait to enter
Our sub Carmelita fast
Don’t you hesitate
There is no need to wait
We’re signing up new children fast
Don’t fret being too young
To join up today
But don’t you worry ’bout a thing
For I’m sure there will be
Always a good navy
Trying to destroy V.F.D.

Troupe: In the navy
Count Olaf: Yes, you can sail the seven seas
Troupe: In the navy
Count Olaf: Yes, you can put your mind at ease
Troupe: In the navy
Count Olaf: Come on now, Tri-Eyes, make a stand
Troupe: In the navy, in the navy
Count Olaf: Can’t you see we need a hand
Troupe: In the navy
Count Olaf: Come on, now where is your stepdad?
Troupe: In the navy
Count Olaf: Come on and join your fellow man
Troupe: In the navy
Count Olaf: Come on people, and make a stand
Troupe: In the navy, in the navy, in the navy (in the navy)

Troupe:
We want you, we want you
We want you as a new recruit

Fiona:
Who me?

Troupe:
We want you, we want you
We want you as a new recruit

Fiona:
But, but, but, what about Sunny?
Hey, hey look
She could die if I don’t find the antidote for her!

Troupe:
We want you, we want you in the navy

Fiona:
Oh my goodness.
What am I gonna do about my friends?

Troupe:
We want you, we want you in the navy

Troupe: In the navy
Count Olaf: Yes, you can sail the seven seas
Troupe: In the navy
Count Olaf: Yes, you can put your mind at ease
Troupe: In the navy
Count Olaf: Come on be bold and make a stand
Troupe: In the navy, in the navy
Count Olaf: Can’t you see we need a hand
Troupe: In the navy
Count Olaf: Now where is your stepdad?
Troupe: In the navy
Count Olaf: Come on and join your fellow man
Troupe: In the navy
Count Olaf: Come on be bold and make a stand