In reaction, Madame Lulu breaks down. She starts crying and wailing about how ashamed she is. She throws off her disguise, revealing to the Baudelaires that she’s not Madame Lulu but Olivia. Nor is she a real fortune teller but pretends to be one because that’s what people want her to be. After all, her motive is “give people what they want” which is rather dubious and not the kind of advice you should take. As for her information? She admits mostly getting it from libraries, mostly despite being in the middle of nowhere. Though she does admit to making stuff up. So does she know whether or which one of the Baudelaire parents survived and where they are? No, but if one of them did, she figures that they’d be in the Mortmain Mountains. And that she doesn’t know where the rest of the Snicket File is either. However, she’s quite knowledgable with V.F.D. discussing how she recognized their costumes as being straight from the disguise kit. She also talks about how the organization is neither bad or good as well as the schism. And some how people do bad things out of good convictions.

The song I chose for this is “You May Be Right” by Billy Joel. In the original version, the guy’s basically telling the girl, “Yeah, I may be a crazy jerk who makes a mess of things. But c’mon, you like me but don’t want to admit it.” In this version I have Olivia throw off her disguise and answer some of the Baudelaires’ questions. Though I can’t really keep some of the details in given the song’s structure. But I tried my best.

“You May Be Right” (ASOUE Version)

Sung by Olivia Caliban

Crashed my tent and smashed my crystal
Call me fraud and that wasn’t cool
Make me cry and now I feel ashamed
I just give them what they want
I’m not hurting anyone
And my clients enjoy my fortune-telling ways

Let me throw this disguise to illustrate
I’m not Madam Lulu that I portray
Olivia Caliban is my proper name
I’m what they want me here
Though I’m not even a seer
So all that just only proves that I’m a fake

You may be right
I may be shady
But I might just give whatever that you’re looking for
Turn out the light
Please don’t berate me
I may be wrong for all I know
But you may be right

So you three are all the Baudelaires
Disguised as freaks within my fair
Want to know about the info I obtain
It’s from libraries I swear
Though I make stuff then and there
Though most can’t really tell the difference anyway

Not sure if your parent’s survived the fire
I’ll somehow try to satisfy you
Try the Mortmain Mountains if you may
Last V.F.D. home base
Thought you were disguise trained
Though these kits might be used for what you may

You may be right
I may be shady
But I might just give whatever that you’re looking for
Some folks think they’re right
But they’re just damn crazy
I may be wrong for all I know
But you may be right

You may be right
I may be shady
But I might just give whatever that you’re looking for
Turn out the light
Please don’t berate me
I may be wrong for all I know
But you may be right
I may be wrong but you may be right
I may be wrong but you may be right