While Klaus and Sunny are with Count Olaf’s henchmen trying to stall the operation so their sister can wake up, Esme is out searching for the younger Baudelaires. Of course, since the Baudelaires are in the operating theater, she doesn’t succeed. But she does find the two real White-Faced Women who she assumed Klaus and Sunny to be earlier. Yet, Esme and Count Olaf both manage to set the Library of Records on fire. She then returns to the operating theater with the real White-Faced Women in attempts to expose Klaus and Sunny as imposters. Then again, it’s possible that she saw through their disguises the whole time and decided to include them in the plot to make them seem more malicious. Still, the fire will soon spread to all of Heimlich Hospital and burn the place to the ground.

The song I chose here is “Out Tonight” from RENT. In the original version, Mimi gets off work at the club and is excited to meet Roger on their date. At any rate, she wants to get out and have fun. In this version, I have Esme gleefully willing to set the Library of Records on fire with her boyfriend, Count Olaf. Speaking of Olaf, I originally envisioned having him sing this. But then I realized it was a better fit for Esme.

“Out Tonight” (ASOUE Version)

Sung by Esme Squalor

What’s the time?
Well it’s gotta be close to midnight
My body’s talking to me
It says, “Time for danger”
It says “I wanna commit a crime
Wanna set a place on alight
Wanna put on a tight skirt and hurt
Some ill strangers”
I’ve had a knack from way back
At breaking the rules once I learn the games
Get up – life’s too quick
I know someplace sick
Where this chick’ll torch this dread place
If I can’t find Klaus or Sunny
I’ll just light up a spree
You can burn it too
If you can light it with me

Let’s go out tonight
I have to go out tonight
Let’s set aflame
And run away
We won’t be back to this Heimlich anyway
Let’s go out tonight (meow)

When I get a ride from my boyfriend
Do you know how lucky I’ll be?
That we’re off line from a fire crime in vicinity

Let’s go out tonight
I have to go out tonight
You light a match
I’ll make it catch
And we’ll burn this whole place down
Out tonight

In the evening we’ve got to roam
Can’t sleep in a city of neon and chrome
Feels too damn much like home
When my lousy husband whines
So get in the car
So dark we forget who we are
And all those screams from the
Awful sick patients die

Let’s go out tonight
Have to go out tonight
You’re sweet
Wanna hit the street?
Wanna wail at the moon like a cat in heat?
Just take us out tonight

Please take us out tonight
Don’t forsake us — out tonight
I’ll let you make us — out tonight
Tonight — tonight – tonight