In the Hunger Games, public image is a huge deal that it’s a dominating theme in the series. And in the Hunger Games, it’s such a huge deal that it could make  a difference between life and death since the competition is very deadly. A tribute cannot win the Hunger Games on pragmatic survival skills alone. They also have to win over an audience and attract sponsors in the days before the Games even begin. Of course, there are interviews which aren’t Katniss’s strong suit. But luckily, Peeta loves her and has a magnetic personality to excel in the PR department that if it weren’t for him, Katniss wouldn’t have stood much of a chance. Nevertheless, when PR can make a difference between life and death, professions that many might seem rather trivial become critical. And in the Hunger Games, having crappy stylists and fashion designers may hurt your chances of leaving the arena alive. So whenever a tribute arrives at the Capitol, they’re given a makeover by a team of stylists in order to look acceptable to a TV audience, which means all the lady body hair has to go (save for the head). And each district prep team has a particular stylist who designs the outfits the tributes would wear in the Avenue of the Tributes parade, which reflects their local resource. Many of these can be ridiculous. But fortunately, District 12’s resident stylist is a young man named Cinna who’s actually a very nice guy and one of the better fashion designers in the Hunger Games (though you might know it from the movies).  His outfits before the 74th Hunger Games establish Katniss as “the Girl on Fire” in order to make her look unforgettable and irresistible. He also insisted that she and Peeta hold hands during the parade.

Now I thought a good parody for Cinna would be a ripoff of “I Feel Pretty” from West Side Story. Yes, I know that the original song is about how smitten Maria is over falling for Tony. And I know that Cinna is played by Lenny Kravitz in the movies and old show tunes aren’t his forte. But still, in the Hunger Games version of this song, I have Cinna and the rest of Katniss’s prep team singing about making her look pretty for the cameras in order to win over audiences and attract sponsors. Yes, I have her prep team talk about how dirty and smelly she is. But c’mon, do you expect Katniss to have excellent hygiene habits? I mean she’s from one of the poorest families in District 12 who spends most of her spare time hunting in the woods to support her family. Let’s just say she’s not going to look as clean as Jennifer Lawrence did in the movie.

 

“Make Her Pretty”

Sung by Cinna and Katniss’s Prep Team

 

Cinna:

Make her pretty

Oh, so pretty,

Make her pretty and witty and bright!

And the city

Will be falling over her tonight.

 

Girl on fire

Will draw desire

That the Capitol will surely squeal!

And so pretty

That they hardly can believe she’s real.

 

See the pretty girl in that mirror there:

Who can that attractive girl be?

Make a pretty face,

Wear a pretty dress,

Wear a pretty smile,

Katniss Everdeen!

 

Make her stunning

And entrancing,

So the Capitol may surely adore,

So she’ll soon

Attract important sponsors for sure!

 

Prep Team:

Have you seen our poor girl from 12 there

Has the hairiest legs of the lot?

Her armpits smell far worse than Peeta’s,

And her hair’s greasier than an oiled up pot.

 

Her toenails need cut.

She might need a bath.

Her face has some zits,

So what’s up with that?

 

She has so much dirt,

Did you see her teeth?

She has so much grime

She probably has fleas.

 

How to work with her?

Tell us, Cinna!

She dearly needs

A good TV image!

 

Grimy and poor,

Oily and unrefined

With terrible BO

And a stinky behind!

 

Cinna:

Make her pretty,

Oh, so pretty

That the Capitol will see her with glee

That it’d be shitty,

That if she was killed off by a teen from 3.

 

Prep Team:

La la la la . . .

 

Cinna:

Make her lovely,

Make her sunny,

Make her lovely and sunny and fine,

And so pretty,

That some sponsors can keep her alive!

 

Prep Team:

La la la la . . .

 

Cinna:

See the pretty girl in that mirror there:

 

Prep Team:

What mirror where?

 

Cinna:

Who can that attractive girl be?

 

Prep Team:

Which? What? Where? Whom?

 

Cinna:

Make a pretty face,

Wear a pretty dress,

Wear a pretty smile,

Katniss Everdeen!

 

Prep Team:

Katniss Everdeen!

 

All:

Make her stunning

And entrancing,

So the Capitol may surely adore,

So she’ll soon

Attract important sponsors for sure!