The Creepy, Crawly World of Scary Halloween Craft Projects (Fifth Edition)

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During October, it’s not unusual for people to make their homes into a haunted house. Fortunately,  plenty of retail stores have been willing to oblige since September. There’s even a store called Spirit Halloween, which is having its biggest season right now. After all, Halloween is a major cash cow holiday since it has so many fans. After all, unlike a lot of big holidays,you don’t have any obligation to spend Halloween with your family. Unless your children require adult supervision. Anyway, while most people prefer to buy their Halloween decorations, others may make their own. So for your reading pleasure, I give you another assortment of spooky Halloween crafts. Enjoy.

  1. Doilies are great for spider webs.
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They’re stretched on rings and have plastic spiders on them. Not sure if you can use them for coasters.

2. You’ll find a lot of cobwebs on this frame.

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Well, this frame also has large plastic spiders on, too. Great for freaking out the arachnophobe in your life.

3. Your spider wreath can use a little bling.

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It’s mostly covered in buttons. Recommended to hang on any front door of a haunted house.

4. A blinged  skull is essential for any haunted home.

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Though I wouldn’t recommend reciting Shakespeare with this one. Alas, poor Yorick, I knew him well….”

5. Don’t mind the mummy at the front door.

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It comes well wrapped. Then again, considering the cobwebs, you’d almost think it’s a cocoon.

6. This bony wreath can really use a hand.

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Just make sure none of these skeleton hands came from a graveyard. Still, love how they spray painted them silver.

7. Care to light that bloody candle?

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I’m sure the melted parts are painted red. Still, they kind of seem rather bloody disgusting.

8. She shows too much in that dress.

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Because you can clearly see her bones. Not to mention, she has an unusually long tail.

9. You don’t want to drink anything from these bottles.

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All of these potions are made from the finest ingredients from Chernobyl. Don’t ask how they got them.

10. These wooden blocks are all ghostly.

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Well, they’re painted white with ghost faces on them. Great for a mantle or patio.

11. Hope you enjoy this spooky Halloween lantern.

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Has an owl at the top with some other sparkly decor. While a ghost sits inside.

12. I believe the house is “Witch Way.”

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Will you find witches inside? Or just people giving candy to kids? Only enter if you dare.

13. A porcelain jack-o’-lantern can always use a stand.

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This one has the pumpkin on a wreath of fall foliage. Makes a great centerpiece.

14. A bauble and feather wreath will certainly make your Halloween a festive occasion.

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Even includes shiny jack-o’-lanterns. Just hang it on a wall or doorway with cautions. Because baubles are very delicate things.

15. That Halloween table can really use a spider web.

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This is made out of black tinsel garland you can get at a party store. Great for any Halloween party.

16. You’ll get a good scare out of this sign.

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Says “Spooky.” The O’s have googly eyes along with a skull and crossed bones.

17. Even the trees can be quite monstrous.

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This is just a small tree with multiple eyes. And they can see everywhere.

18. Cousin Itt has come over to join us.

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I’m sure this is just a figure with straw on it used for decoration. Still, Cousin Itt isn’t exactly hard to do.

19. Black roses often have eyes.

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This flower wreath is spray-painted black with eyeballs. Should you see this, enter if you dare.

20. This wreath is infested with spiders.

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Actually, it’s covered with plastic silver spiders. While a large one is on the bottom.

21. A feather wreath can use a few skulls.

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These skulls are in black, orange, green, and purple. Great for any haunted front door.

22. Seems like nobody touched these potion jars in a long time.

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Yet, despite the spiders and cobwebs, you see something glowing inside them. Someone might want to clean house once in awhile.

23. Perhaps you might find a wooden Frankenstein quite spooky.

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Well, it consists of 2 blocks and says “Spooky.” Sure it may not scare, but it’s adorable nonetheless.

24. You have to be crazy to come here.

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After all the signs warn “Dead End,” “Haunted,” and “Turn Back.” Covered in cobwebs with a crow on top.

25. Don’t let your trick-or-treaters go out without these bags.

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They’re treat bags with jack-o’-lanterns on them. One is scary black. The other is a chilly white.

26. You won’t have bad luck with this black cat wreath.

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It’s fuzzy with whiskers and a nose. But at least it’s not as scary as the Cats trailer.

27. This sign will leave you screaming.

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It’s just a large, striped, panel that says, “EEK!” In purple letters with orange dots. Or are those lights?

28. Beware of what you drink from these bottles.

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They’re bottles spray-painted black and have labels on them. Good for display purposes only.

29. Hope you don’t piss off the owls.

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Well, these owls are made out of wood. But the branches are quite eerie.

30. Guess the witch can’t get out of the ceiling.

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Well, it’s an umbrella with legs. And she wore a green tulle slip, too.

31. Wonder what orange substance is in this jar.

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Seems like the jar’s painted. Yet, the cameo is of a skeleton lady.

32. Perhaps you might like a green skull with glowing eyes.

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It’s a green skull with eyes that light up. Perfect for any Halloween table on a dark and stormy night.

33. A jeweled witch’s hat can be quite magical.

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It’s a green skull with eyes that light up. Perfect for any Halloween table on a dark and stormy night.

34. These ghosts travel all in a line.

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They basically consist of white sheets, string, and a stick. But if you make one, be sure to make a lot of them.

35. There will be all eyes on this wreath.

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And yes, we’re talking that eyes are literally on this wreath. Also, lights up at night.

36. Hope these wooden ghosts don’t scare you.

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Actually they seem rather friendly. But then again, they might just be putting it on to lure you into their clutches.

37.  Black cat lights make any room creepy.

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These lights have black cats on them. So it seems like they’re eerily looking at you.

38. Paper mache can make monstrous creatures sitting around.

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Consists of a hooded figure and a witch. These light up, by the way.

39. Zoltar will tell you your fortune.

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Because Zoltar knows all. Even though his box is made out of cardboard.

40. Don’t let your kids near this demonic pumpkin.

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Yes, the pumpkin looks as if it’s eating a trick-or-treater. Feel free to call his parents that he won’t be coming home tonight or ever.

41. All the most fashionable witches don some spider jewelry.

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Includes a silver spider ring and a spider charm bracelet. Bracelet even includes a skeleton key.

42. Are those brains hanging from the ceiling?

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Well, they’re lit up so they’re not real. But you don’t want to be in the same room with them.

43. That witch better watch where she’s flying.

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Yep, she flew right into the wall on her broomstick. Sometimes those covens can get pretty wild.

44. Perhaps you might fancy a decoupage witch’s hat.

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I don’t think it’s meant for wearing though. Still, has a cobweb on the brim.

45. These candy trees are infested.

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You don’t see as many candy decor on Halloween as you do on Christmas. Save the case for candy corn but that’s just sugar wax not fit for human consumption.

46. Hope these glowing hands don’t snatch you during the night.

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Not sure what these are supposed to be made of. Butt seeing floating and glowing hands around will scare the crap out of me.

47. Perhaps anyone into vintage stuff might appreciate this scary wreath.

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This looks like it’s in tatters. Then again, being Halloween, that’s kind of the point.

48. How about a witch’s hat on a hat box?

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So did the witch’s hat came from the hat box? If not, then what’s in it? Please don’t let it be like in Seven.

49. Don’t drink from a bottle under wraps.

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Because the wine could be poisoned for all I know. Might contain a tablespoon of arsenic, a teaspoon of strychnine, and just a pinch of cyanide.

50. A steampunk pumpkin can use a few nuts and bolts.

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After all, steampunk is all about the 19th century mecha gear. Though I doubt people at the time would do their pumpkins this way.

51. You can make frightful candle holders with wine glasses.

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Consists of a vampire, Frankenstein’s monster, a witch, a pumpkin, and mummy. And yes, they all sparkle.

52. Perhaps a simple paper wreath will do this Halloween.

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This looks like it was made as a large, black origami flower. Perfect for any haunted front door this Halloween.

53. This witch looks rather potted today.

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That’s because she’s made out of flower pots of different sizes. Comes with a broomstick and black cat, too.

54. Don’t look now. But I think there’s a mummy at your door.

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This door is wrapped except with the big eyes popping out. Probably meant for a school.

55. There’s something witchy about this glass block light.

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Mostly because it’s a witch block light. Has a felt hat and scarf along with a wooden green nose.

56. Care to fly on a sparkly broom?

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The handles are wrapped with ribbons. The broom fringes contains glitter. Available in orange and purple.

57. Don’t go near the zombie in the corner.

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And yes, it looks incredibly realistic. Even has bones sticking out. But keep away if you dare.

58. Even the trees outside have faces.

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Yes, those are masks on trees. And yes, it’s creepy as hell. Stay away from the house nearby.

59. Wonder what kind of web this spider spins.

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It’s a yarn wreath with black flowers. The spider’s made out of yarn, too.

60. You’ll find silver skulls on this feather wreath.

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You’ll see cobwebs on there as well. Looks like it came straight out of the attics after gathering dust for decades.

61. A black garland makes a fine addition for any haunted home.

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Comes with lights to glow in the night. Also includes black leaves and cobwebs.

62. This guy’s torch comes solar powered.

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I’m sure this little guy’s light is scarier at night. But at least his methods are sustainable.

63. Sometimes a wine bottle is all you need.

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This person took a green one and made a witch out of it. And they only had to paint the top green for the hat.

64. Nobody can resist a witch in a candy dress.

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She’s even green with red hair. Though she’s more cute than scary.

65. Want some spiders on your china?

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Well, the spiders are painted on the plates. Guaranteed to scare guests when hung on the wall.

66. Seems like we have a few monsters lurking in the bushes.

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Then again, maybe the bushes have eyes. Or someone just stuck eyes on them.

67. This house really has a severe rat problem.

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Okay, they’re just rat silhouettes. So don’t call the exterminator just yet.

68. Milk bottle candle holders should always come a bit bloody.

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Man, the red paint looks like it’s oozing from the top. Perfect for any Halloween party.

69. Don’t like wreaths? Hang up a tombstone.

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They even have twisted weeds growing on it. Perfect for any Halloween front door.

70. Something’s creaking out of that coffin.

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I don’t think that chain’s going to cut it. He could burst out at any moment.

71. Keep your things close this Halloween with a pumpkin purse.

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Consists of a plastic pumpkin with a sparkly handle. Decorated with a jingly cat mask.

72. Keep your things safe in this blinged out coffin box.

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Has jewels deck the top. Small enough for a table. Great for hamster funerals.

73. Sometimes a simple metal cauldron is all you need.

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Wonder if they use cauldrons like this at Hogwarts. There’s even a fake fire underneath.

74. Impress your Halloween party guests this year with a mounted Cthulu.

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Brag how you vanquished the Lovecraftian monster into the depths of oblivion. Of course, they’ll think you’re talking shit, which you are.

75. I’m sure you don’t want to be caged alongside a rat.

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Well, they’re skeletons in cages. The skeleton rat even has cheese to eat.

76. You’ll find a few birds on this bonsai tree.

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This even has orange woven baskets on the branches. Also decorated in cobwebs.

77. Make sure to give your haunted home a spooky entrance.

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The front entrance has toilet paper like mummy wraps. Also give a spooky touch with chains and lanterns.

78. These candles have melted significantly.

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Okay, the candles are fake. And so are the flames. So they’re perfectly safe.

79. There are snakes slithering on the black dowels.

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Or are those candlesticks? Either way, the snakes are plastic.

80. A tree is composed of many pumpkins.

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The tree is painted on the pumpkins. And they’re held on by a bookshelf.

81. Count down to Halloween with this panel.

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This was obviously erected in September. Since it says “32 days until trick or treating.”

82. Wonder what’s in this big creepy book.

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It’s actually a box. And yes, it has a spider’s web on top. So you can hide your bloody knife in it.

83. A wicked candle holder can use some black lace.

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Since it really brings out a haunted house look. Don’t forget to include spiders.

84. You’ll find plenty of little bats on this striped wreath.

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It’s a cloth wreath of white and orange stripes. And it’s hung by a black and white striped strip.

85. Snowmen are for Christmas. Pumpkin men are for Halloween.

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This jack-o’-lantern even has a hat and fall scarf. But, hey, at least he’s not carved out at the head.

86. Put your kids and pets’ silhouettes on these white pumpkins.

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Includes one of a boy, a girl, and a dog. Each is surrounded by a black lace frame.

87. A witch’s hat can use some more flair.

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They’re on stands with black tulle and flowers. But they’re not meant for wearing. So they’re just decorative.

88. Someone’s pet is all bone and crazy red eyes.

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Is this supposed to be a dog? Then again, you can’t tell by just the skeleton. Unless you’re a zoologist.

89. If you need some grease, this happy jack is all you need.

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It’s just an oil can with a jack-o’-lantern. But I don’t think it contains real oil.

90. How about a hay ride in your haunted home?

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This is a little scene with gourds and little hay bales. Even has a little black cat.

91. You’ll find plenty of crows on this centerpiece.

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They’re on top of a glass and black flowers. There’s even a haunted house inside.

92. Stash your poisons in this potion box.

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It’s just a craft box. Though I love how they painted it.

93. That witch should watch out for that Halloween tree.

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Well, she went in head first. Though the tree is quite dazzling.

94. You’ll find the snakes under the rug.

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Relax, they’re just plastic. But tell that to Dr. Henry “Indiana” Jones Jr.

95. Care to use a potion tray?

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What’s in these bottles almost seems all too real. Yet, please don’t eat any of the contents.

96. This gate must be a prime crow hangout spot.

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Okay, these are fake. But it certainly gives you a chill up your spine.

97. A candy corn bouquet might suit your tastes.

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Includes 2 crows. While most of the foliage looks quite dead.

98. Perhaps a haunted birdcage for your raven will be to your liking.

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This one is made out of metal and includes lights. Also, the bird is fake. Not sure if it says, “Nevermore.”

99. These skeletons can really use a hand.

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They don’t seem to have the proper equipment to climb the roof. So they help each other to varying degrees of success.

100. This witchy wreath should have some flowers.

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Includes witch boots and hat. Not to mention, might contain a pumpkin or two.

The Wonderful World of Album Covers (Sixth Edition)

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Once again, I move on to album covers. Of course, who can remember the awesome design with the Beatles’ cover of Sgt. Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band. You might recognize some celebrities the Beatles are standing with. Nonetheless, great album covers like this one are always remembered and treasured. However, since I’ve done a post like this for years, you get the idea that we’re not going on a nostalgia trip here. Instead, we’ll look at album covers that were long forgotten for some reason. And not because many didn’t have good music on the records. Some have aged terribly. Some are outrages. While some are just plain weird. Anyway, for your reading pleasure, I give you another assortment of crazy vintage album covers.

  1. La Wanda: MUTHA*Is Half a Word
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For some reason, I have serious doubts she’s a virgin. Also, she should’ve known she was pregnant by now.

Apparently, this woman’s in for a real surprise.

2. Henri Salvador: Le Martien Count Basie: L’Inspiration Syracuse

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I don’t understand the sci-fi concept behind this album cover. I mean the guy’s in blue make up with a weird diamond helmet.

Man, this Martian really creeps me out.

3. The Pinups: Wild Thing

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Is that a dead hooker in the car? Okay, that’s really disturbing. Hell, this whole album cover is unsettling.

Don’t tell me they’re supposed to be prostitutes licking lollipops.

4. Dani: Dani

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Apparently, being surrounded by clowns can put you in a rather terrifying situation. Also, why isn’t Pennywise in here?

Perhaps this woman has spent too much time with the circus.

5. Mirka Kodica: Bajo

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Seriously, this guy kind of reminds me of those bad 1980s prom pictures. Funnier that he’s wearing a shiny striped suit with a stern expression.

When you have to resort to a backup outfit for your prom picture.

6. The Bee Gees: Life in a Tin Can

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Of course, how they could fit in this old pop can, I’ll never know. Let’s not think about this one too hard.

Apparently, the Bee Gees haven’t been doing too well these days.

7. Brad Swanson: Brad Swanson Goes Hawaiian

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Still, the guy’s posing with women who look awfully young. While his eyes bear some ill intent. Don’t like where this is going.

So, how does Hawaiian organ music sound like?

8. Cerrone: Supernature

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Yes, the animal masks are freaky. But what the hell are they doing in a hospital operating room with a fake body on the gurney?

Beware of the animal masked people under the gurney.

9. Conway Twitty: I’m Not Through Loving You Yet

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Since his wife left him, Conway’s fashion sense has gone out the window. He’s kind of bitter about the divorce. His wife’s got a lawyer and is suing him for half his assets.

Apparently, Conway’s going through a rough patch in his life.

10.  Def Leppard: On Through the Night

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When we start settling Mars, we might have to train astronauts to be truck drivers. Not sure how that’s going to work out.

In the future, large semis will transport giant guitars in space.

11. The DeFranco Family featuring Tony DeFranco: Save the Last Dance for Me

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Those 1970s haircuts certainly don’t help either. That one guy in the back knows how lame this photo op is.

Of course, everyone had to wear a top matching the background with a sequined animal on it.

12. Ed Ames: My Cup Runneth Over

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Then again, to each his own. After all, Ed could really be a nice guy. But that doesn’t help his hairstyle.

You have to wonder what the blond woman sees in this guy.

13. Engelbert Humperdinck: Engelbert Sings for You

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Actually he’s wearing a 1970s jumpsuit and a necklace. But yeah, he probably spent too much time at the tanning salon that day.

Released during a time when Humperdinck was moonlighting as an Elvis impersonator who spent too much time in a tanning salon.

14. The Gary Walker Singers: “I Shall Never Forget the Day.”

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I mean the instruments consist of accordion, banjo, and electric guitars. Also, that one guy looks like David Hasselhoff.

So what genre is this supposed to be?

15. David Cassidy: The Higher They Climb

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Here he jumps to reach a star in front of a large crowd of people. While he holds a white guitar in his hand that matches his jumpsuit. Don’t ask me who came up with this idea.

Didn’t know David Cassidy had the power of levitation.

16. Oscar Brand: Sports Car

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Apparently, you can sit on it, too. As long as the long staff is well into your ass. Boy, that woman’s going to be sore. But for now, she’s reading like it doesn’t seem to bother her.

My, that’s one large tire jack.

17. Jean Carroll: Girl in a Hot Steam Bath

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The one guy in the bathroom’s reading a newspaper with shoes and socks on like it’s nothing. While the women on the other side are checking him out.

Didn’t know they had unisex steam rooms.

18. Orel Turkbas: How to Make Your Husband a Sultan

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Helps if you dress in a jingling bikini that resembles what Princess Leia would wear if Jabba’s palace was a disco. Yet, she doesn’t wear the long chain nor strangle a huge blob monster who used her frozen boyfriend as wall decoration.

A belly dancer shares her tips for wives to please their husbands in the bedroom.

19. The Singing Richey Family: I’m Going Home…To Watch the Flowers Bloom

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I bet the mom’s like, “I shall call her Mini Me.” Hell, they’re wearing the same pink dress.

Apparently, big hair is an inherited trait.

20. Pedro Pinho and Paulo Pontes: Berrante Do Tempo

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Man, these outfits are atrocious. Look at the pink top with gold sleeves. Is it 1970s or what?

When you and your buddy pose in the same space age outfit.

21. Tesura: Fruko y sus Tesos

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They even have chain around a dog and one guy holds a big cigar. But badass they are not.

When your tough guy act goes absolutely nowhere.

22. Maria Luisa Landin: Con la Voy del Alma….

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Seriously, why is her reflection appearing in the glass like that? Does she think she has something on her nose?

When you’re staring into a wine glass when your date doesn’t show up.

23. Rito Esclavo: Pedro Laza y sus Pelayeros

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I mean she’s literally tied to a man by her wrists with rope. And she’s wearing a Sword-and-Sandal costume. So is she supposed to be dragged? Or is she kind of into it? Because I want to know how to feel here.

Is this supposed to be slavery or a kinky bondage routine?

24. Reb Allen: Country Hits

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Still, I know they’re supposed to be prison stripes. But they kind of remind me of pajamas. Also how is he able to play guitar on the rocks?

During his stay in prison, Reb would provide the chain gang entertainment during long, hard days.

25. Gordon Calcote: Folsom Prison Blues

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Nonetheless, I think the cover is more appropriate for “Prisoners of Love.” Also, this pen seems to have a very generous conjugal visit policy.

If you want a sexy version of this hit, we got you covered.

26. The Game Is Over Soundtrack

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Yes, this a soundtrack from a forgettable Jane Fonda movie. Still, naked in the jungle, what can possibly go wrong with that?

Apparently, Naked and Afraid is older than I thought.

27. Il Medico…la Studentessa Original Film Soundtrack

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Okay, it’s probably not a porn movie and I apologize to anyone offended. Still, I’m sure these two are about to play “doctor” at any moment. Seriously, look how the guy’s grabbing the woman’s leg.

Didn’t know they made soundtracks for porn films.

28. Alan Hale: Skipper Alan Hale’s Roman Orgy

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Apparently, the cover implies that a Roman orgy’s just a fancy toga party. But it’s more like a hedonistic free for all with drinking, partying, and group sex.

Also known as the R-Rated version of Gilligan’s Island.

29. Pilz Band: Schtarch Sy

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You’d almost think it was a 1980s version of The Office starring Jerry Seinfeld and Jason Alexander. Got to like that one guy’s shirt.

When your office band hits the big time.

30. Crosby, Stills, and Nash: Live It Up

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So, how can you roast hotdogs on the moon? It has no atmosphere so you can’t light a fire. Oh, those guys are climbing on the sticks? Was the designer on drugs?

Spent roasting hotdogs on the moon.

31. Orrin Star: Fun Songs & Fancy Pickin’

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Heard that he was a musician and shop teacher by day. And a porn star by night during the 1970s. Naturally, him and Adrien aren’t on speaking terms.

Boy, Adrien Brody’s dad is incredibly lame.

32. Orion: Rockabilly

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He wears a mask because he’s fugitive from another state. Not what he did. Still, reminds me of a Will Ferrell SNL sketch for some reason.

This man seems to have an interesting Elvis impersonator routine.

33. El Baile Aleman: Senor Coconut y su Conjunto

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The one guy is framed in a star because he couldn’t make it to the photo session. But he wore the same outfit nonetheless.

Hope you enjoy the puffy sleeves.

34. Terri Gibbs: Over Easy

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Because “Terri” is a female rendition of that name. But the person kind of has a more masculine disposition. Then again, maybe Terri’s just gender fluid.

Is that supposed to be a woman or a guy wearing lipstick?

35. Elna Fredhoy og Rigmor Odum

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Funny, how one could easily pass as Matthew McConaughey’s grandmother. Hope she plays alright, alright, alright.

One plays guitar. The other plays the accordion.

36. Quim Barriero: Recibe um Convite (A Casa Joquina)

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Heard he got his start playing polka music at a nudist colony. Then again, he seems to have stripped all his clothes off.

Someone enjoys playing naked accordion.

37. Knuz Zopy3em

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These guys have such blase expressions that they see no hope out of their boring and meaningless lives. Though I like that front man’s tie.

Featuring hit songs from this up and coming Soviet group. Just feel the excitement.

38. Kjell Kraghe: Vind I Seglen

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And yet his clothes don’t seem the slightest bit wet. Then again, it’s photoshop.

Look out there’s a giant guy in a 1970s jumpsuit on the horizon.

39. “Whoopee” John Wilfahrt and his Orchestra: Dance Night

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For God’s sake would you take the name Wilfahrt seriously? Also, that dancing couple seems all too happy.

Apparently, why they didn’t ask John Wilfahrt to change is name is a riddle for the ages.

40. Mijus Svetlana: Klik-Klak

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Well, maybe Russians don’t mind women not shaving. Since they’re probably more focused on trying to get by. Still, she looks pretty silly in that outfit. Also what are those strings with balls supposed to mean?

Is that armpit hair?

41. Buldozer

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So basically this cover consists of women mooning. I’m sure the moral guardians won’t be happy with that.

Apparently, these women decided to stick their butts to the window.

42. Jasar: Zena Moje Mladosti

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I mean the guy seems more right at home on Stranger Things. Also, is he smoking a cigarette?

Here this Yugoslavian singer poses for a photo like teenage boy on his way to prom in the 1980s.

43. Oliver Mandic: Probaj Me

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So is he supposed to be the Yugoslavian equivalent to David Bowie or Boy George? Also the name Mandic is hard to take seriously as an English speaker.

Here he sits on his red suitcase waiting for a ride while wearing his matching red leather suit.

44. Sneki: Ti Saluto Italia

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Then again, it kind of makes sense. Since Italians are into soccer and high fashion. Still, the woman seems like a snake lady to me.

Apparently, saluting Italy means having a sexy woman near a soccer goal.

45. Father Robert White: The Reverend in Rhythm

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I think this might’ve become a meme. Still, I don’t think you can dance to that song listing. Also kind of reminds me of Matthew McConaughey for some reason.

Just a priest with a pipe who can play some tunes.

46. Jonah Jones: I Dig Chicks

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Still, they shouldn’t be there. No, I don’t see anything wrong with women on a back hoe. But these women aren’t clad in the proper safety equipment. So they run a high risk of injury or death.

Apparently, someone doesn’t see anything wrong with these women being at construction sites for fan service.

47.  Barry Louis Polisar: I Eat Kids and Other Songs for Rebellious Children

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Seriously, why would anyone have a song about eating kids? Is this an album used to traumatize children?

I don’t think his baby appreciates the title.

48. Janet Greene: Country and Spanish Flavors

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After all, she wouldn’t want anything to scald her uh, boobs. Yes, I get that her boobs get considerable attention on this cover.

Let’s hope she doesn’t spill anything on her chest.

49. The Happy Sound of Ragtime

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Because what makes a wholesome image of ragtime like seeing a fat rich guy being served by 2 hookers. Seriously, the woman’s putting some money in her stocking.

Available at an Old West brothel near you.

50. Trevor Crozier and Friends: Trouble Over Bridgewater

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Despite that nobody dresses like that nowadays. Still, I don’t think he’ll find any gold with this album.

He’s just an old prospector having a beer.

 

 

The Wonderful World of Vintage Postcards (Eighth Edition)

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Though I usually do postcards before this time, I had some things going on for me during the summer that I didn’t do a lot of blog posts recently. Anyway, this October, my family and I plan on going to Charlotte to see my sister who lives there. We plan to stay for a weekend during the middle of the month. So perhaps I might want to get some old vintage postcards. No, not the ones you normally. More along the lines of those that come across as tacky, insane, weird, or laughably bad. Since we can all use a laugh now and then. So for your reading pleasure, I give you another assortment of terrible old timey postcards. Enjoy.

  1. Need to do a bit of landscaping?
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Cause you need the proper lawn implements and extension cord. Doesn’t hurt to do it in Bermuda shorts and flats.

2. Jane Irwill is designed to be lived in.

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Jane enjoys singing on the mic. Kim wishes she’d stop and so she can steal the song from under her.

3. Want to advertise? Picture your product here.

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Of course, they have to put a woman in a swimsuit for extra sex appeal. So I guess the product advertised here is the air mattress.

4. You can always enjoy going to the laundromat.

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Because you can’t necessarily afford a brand new washer and dryer. Hope you have plenty of coins and patience.

5. Nothing makes your day like wearing a colorful hat.

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But Susie thinks she looks like an idiot in hers. She wouldn’t even want to be caught dead wearing it at a Jimmy Buffett concert.

6. “Want to see my matching Wrap-Sak?”

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She’s talking about the robe. But it comes with a matching head towel to dry one’s hair. Still, despite having perfect hair, she doesn’t seem to like brushing it.

7. You’ll find these shakers easy to use.

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Since they contain plastic lids you can easily open and close. Available in 4 different colors.

8. Take a look at these giant airplane controls.

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I don’t think these work by the way. But these women seem unusually impressed.

9. Anyone can look sexy in a long fur coat.

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Though we in the 21st century don’t really think so unless you’re living in a polar region. Still, the background is atrocious.

10. “Look, Mommy, I can vacuum all by myself.”

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Of course, you’d never see me with my mom like that. Because I loathe vacuum cleaners. More like huddling in the corner with my ears covered.

11. “At Heinz we have more than 57 varieties around the world.”

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Though the world to them seems shaped like a giant football. Someone must’ve really messed up here.

12. “I just love painting my boat.”

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Seriously, I don’t think people like painting anything. Nor do I think a swimsuit and sailor hat are proper painting attire.

13. R & R toys make them in all sizes.

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That penguin is way too big for that little girl. But she’s thrilled to have it just the same.

14. Slow down for the Tallahassee Safety Patrol.

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So they stare at a wall in long rain coats. You can see they have a token female by looking at their legs.

15. Care for a duck lamp?

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Basically depicts a desert rock formation and two male mallard ducks flying. Wonder if anyone thinks they’re a couple. Then again, they could just be good friends.

16. With a propane grill, you can be the most talked about host in the neighborhood.

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Maybe in the 1960s this guy might have some pride in his grill. However, I’ve seen way bigger and crazier grills than that at Home Depot.

17. There’s always room for a hairdryer.

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Though I don’t think this hairdryer is at all portable. Because I could hold one in my hand.

18. Get women’s attention with a Hollywood Wolf Whistle.

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Guess it’s a horn you put on your car. Though I’m not sure if women will go for it.

19. Care for a fancy piggy bank?

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Sure these porcelain piggy banks may be pricey and fancy. But they’ll keep your money safe by scaring the hell out of potential robbers.

20. Is your car seats falling apart. Get Shadburn’s Auto Upholstery?

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This ad was probably made on a budget. Also, the woman looks more disgusted than anything.

21. 4 Track storm windows will always protect your house.

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Presented by a woman who’s not wearing pants. So the viewer can see her legs in high heels and pantyhose.

22. Commemorate your baby’s first shoes by casting them in bronze.

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You can sue them as bookends, on picture frames, or on wall displays. Seriously, why would anyone do this?

23. Get the World’s Largest Match Book.

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From BAD POSTCARDS: “The name “Dick Sampson” is printed at the bottom right corner making it seem like this gal’s name is Dick. Why the Hawaiian-themed outfit? What’s with that hat/strainer thing? How many matches are in each World’s Largest Match Book? So many questions.”

24. These cushions will make your home a palace.

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Maybe a harem considering how the woman’s dressed. And she doesn’t seem too happy wearing her skimpy purple outfit.

25. No one can have enough pillows on the couch.

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But Pauline has so many that she can only lie on her couch in this position. Still, they bring a lot of color on a dull gray couch.

26. Any kid would love these fuzz covered plastic creatures.

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Maybe the dog in the middle. But the pig and bear seem quite terrifying to me.

27. Display your reports with Rediform.

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Who knew business can produce so much happiness? Probably someone who enjoys doing memos. Still, why does Miss Rediform even exist?

28. At Hewlett Packard, we have all kinds of machines.

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Though this woman in her lab coat has little idea on how many of these machines work. Since they require all kinds of gears and screws.

29. Any man looks sharp in a gray suit.

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Even Trevor the neighborhood psycho killer. Any young woman dating him on any given night is never seen again since.

30. Kids are always proud to stand in their long raincoats.

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For these boys like to show off all the different colors. Though a few of them look like they’re dressed in trash bags.

31. Have a pen stand that’ll suit your tastes.

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Available in 2 big varieties. One is what can resemble your kid’s art project at school. The other are nightmarish depictions of cartoon characters that can scar you for life.

32. A water softener is a girl’s best friend.

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I don’t think most little girls would say that. Since most of them don’t know what the hell a water softener is.

33. Breathing problems? Have this Monaghan Life Saver on you.

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This looks like a something you’d attach to a respirator. Wonder if you should just go with an inhaler instead.

34. Christmas is always a time for cheer.

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From BAD POSTCARDS: “‘TWAS THE NIGHT BEFORE CHRISTMAS AND THE WEIGHT OF SANTA’S CARCASS ON THE ROOF TOTALLY CRUSHED OUR HOUSE.”

35. Take a slice of Ohio Swiss cheese?

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The cheese looks like plastic to me. But at least it comes with saltines.

36. Hey, look, twins.

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Caption: “A NATIVE ALASKAN DARLING dressed in fur parka, trimmed with white fox and her best friend, a Semoyian Puppy.” Still, I don’t buy the girl being an Alaskan native due to her blue eyes, blond hair, and white skin.

37. Keep your lawn maintained with a red riding mower.

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Don’t look now. But Barry’s waving to Myrtle and her son Jack. Little does Jack knows what’s really going on between Barry and his mom.

38. Perhaps you might want something from Australia.

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Most of these are stuffed animals. Yet, you’ll find a boomerang and a hat to wear in the Outback. Still, where’s the diggery-doo?

39. Store your ingredients in these Tupperware canisters.

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Great for hiding the weed in. But don’t let anyone know that or they’ll call the cops.

40. Any girl would delight in these “Mama” dolls.

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On second thought, unless you want to traumatize a little girl in your life, I advise against giving her one of these. Seriously, they’re straight from the realm of nightmares.

41. A straw hat should always have flowers on them.

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Yet, none should don a disembodied woman’s head. Because that’s just disturbing. Available in multiple colors and styles.

42. Water your plants with this KWH mistblower.

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It’s so safe your kids can use it and look like they’re vanquishing their enemies with space age weapons. Said to have deep penetration, steady output.

43. Got a boring house? Just add awnings.

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Actually, the awnings really don’t do anything. Home still looks quite dull. Maybe it needs a paint job.

44. Your lawn can look like this.

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Just add a lawn sprinkler and mow it regularly during the warmer months. Well, as long as you live in California. If you live where I do, it’s not necessary. Also, you won’t have palm trees.

45. Reach for the moon.

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So they were raising money just so three guys can go to the moon? Just save steadily here, I guess. Seriously, this makes no sense.

46. Any little one would enjoy riding a large polka-dotted horse.

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Though the toy horse kind of looks kind of terrifying. Like the purple swan, though.

47. You can’t go boating without a portable minifridge.

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Even to today’s minifridges, this is extravagant. Even includes a freezer.

48. Simple Simon goes near the barbs.

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From BAD POSTCARDS: “Picking your nose is especially grand/When you have a pipe cleaner for a hand.”

49. “Seeing things in Linden, Tenn.”

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They’re basically going with “our town sucks so here are some pictures of cute animals.” At least that’s how I see it.

50. Perhaps you’d like a modern minibar.

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It’s basically a desk for alcoholics. Includes a cocktail shaker and shot glasses.

51. Everyone can use some paper towels.

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I’ve seen those paper towel dispensers at school. Let’s just say I don’t have nice things to say about them.

52. Dualette Sylvania is the big-screen TV that simply moves with you.

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From BAD POSTCARDS: “Carries his portable tube to upscale events. Sexy.”

53. The Tit twins will always boost your business.

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BAD POSTCARDS comment: “Amazing. I wanna see one go up in flames when the motor grease drips onto the controller and an overloaded circuit sparks a fire. And it would still be moving .”

54. Greetings from Kansas.

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Don’t worry about the coyote at the fence. It’s taxidermy so it won’t hurt you, But it will haunt your dreams.

55. Thin mints or merry mints?

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The merry mints come in all kinds of colors. Though I’ll just stick to the thin mints, especially the Girl Scout variety.

56. Nobody could resist a baby doll like this.

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For the love of God, kill it with fire. Since I guarantee it’ll haunt your dreams.

57. “Portraits become precious beyond price.”

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Here little Emily marvels at all the people she’s killed while she maniacally laughs. It’s a sight of horror that knows no bounds.

58. Someone wants to paint the house today.

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But letting a dog help isn’t really a good idea. Still, hope they don’t mistake the paw prints for something more sinister.

59. Perry’s Nuthouse offers free Maine Bear hugs.

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Don’t worry the bear here’s made from wood. A real black bear would simply maul you and leave you for dead.

60. This dog is out on the town.

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Though the dog’s expression doesn’t match the saying on the post card. Still, like the lamp posts.

61. Perhaps you might want to stay in a hotel room like this.

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Man, that’s really tacky. The pink isn’t bad but the wallpaper is just frightful.

62. “I trust Duraclean for my rugs.”

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From BAD POSTCARDS comment: “I cherish my French heirloom carpets so much I don’t even let anybody walk on them! ;)”

63. Anyone in the mood for water ski?

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By the way, this postcard is from Wisconsin. Yes, Wisconsin. Don’t ask me why.

64. Arachnaphobes, abandon hope all ye enter here.

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Because people will be freaked out by a giant spider. This is from an Arizona amusement park.

65. Fall is thrashing time.

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Meaning that it’s time to harvest the hay and put them in bales. Still, the scenery doesn’t really excite me.

66. Wonder why nobody’s visiting this campground.

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Maybe because there’s a skunk lurking around. Though it only sprays when threatened.

67. This guy better wake up before that pheasant runs away.

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Because birds don’t stay around forever. Still, not sure if he can shoot well with a bow and arrow.

68. Feel free to sit on the world’s largest chair.

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I’m sure nobody could really sit on it. Still, it’s a great way for this town to attract tourists.

69. Don’t feel bad. Things could be worse.

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Not sure about having dogs in jail though. Also, are they supposed to be in Mexico?

70. Sometimes you have to let yourself go.

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Though this just overdoes it. Her bra’s even showing from her falling dress.

The Wonderful World of Scarecrows (Fifth Edition)

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Sorry that I haven’t done any new posts for three weeks. Since I’ve been working on a project that took me about four weeks to complete. Anyway, given that fall’s coming up, you’re bound to see scarecrows everywhere. After all, fall is usually a time of harvest. Despite that critters can get into the crops all year long. Still, scarecrows were originally erected to scare them off at a time when most pesticides didn’t exist.  Nonetheless, they’re usually made out of straw, wooden stakes, and old clothes. Yet, many communities can also hold scarecrow contests showing all the unique straw figures out there. So for your reading pleasure, I give you another assortment of unique scarecrows. Enjoy.

  1. These scarecrows will check your speed.
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Don’t worry, you’re good. But if you go like a race car driver, they will mark you down and give you a ticket.

2. Don’t mind these three old men.

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They’re just hanging around in their suits. A couple even read the paper.

3. It’s always fun and games with the Cat in the Hat.

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Though don’t see the Mike Myers adaptation. Still, this is a fair rendition for a scarecrow festival. Sure will make Dr. Seuss proud.

4.  The giant crow’s got the last laugh.

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You can see this crow’s made out of trash bags. And yes, I think it could scare off any critters. Since it’s a giant freaking bird.

5. This scary scarecrow has a sensitive side.

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Sure, he might kill a bunch of misbehaving teenagers on a dark night. But he likes hanging out with the birds.

6. You won’t get anywhere rowing on dry land.

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Well, they’re supposed to be fishing. Still, like their boat name Crow-2.

7. These old folks get by on wheelbarrow.

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Since they’re homeless and their car’s been repossessed. Still, these are delightful.

8. Bet you’ve never met the scarecrow Boy Who Lived.

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I’ve put a Harry Potter scarecrow before. Yet, this one at least gives him darker hair.

9.  They’re off to see the wizard. The wonderful Wizard of Oz.

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Wizard of Oz seems to be a common motif in scarecrow festivals. Maybe it’s the Scarecrow. This display includes the Wicked Witch of the West though.

10. Uncle Sam does it the American way.

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Yet, he somehow decided to shave before getting atop of his high horse. Still, please don’t mention anything about Cheeto Fascist.

11. This scarecrow is practically perfect in every way.

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Since she’s Mary Poppins, y’all. And I don’t mean Yondo from Guardians of the Galaxy either.

12. Curious George always drives the Man in the Yellow Hat crazy.

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Since he’s a curious little monkey who shouldn’t be kept as a pet. No wonder he starts a lot of trouble.

13. This scarecrow girl has a green thumb.

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She always loves to water her plants. Yet, fall is when these flowers usually wither and die.

14. This guy’s all ready to rake.

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Though raking is always a chore. But that doesn’t stop him from being excited about it.

15. He’s all prepared for the wharf.

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After all, he wears his raincoat and galoshes. So he’s all set for the fishing boat.

16. Behold, the mad tangerine commissar himself.

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Here he stands on a podium to spew some disparaging remarks about protestors, minorities, the news media, the law enforcement agencies investigating him, political enemies, and immigrants. The Cheeto-Fascist wreaks devastation onto America he certainly won’t make great again. Because he’s a sociopath.

17. “Help me, Obi Wan Kenobi, you’re my only hope.

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Funny how they use an old vacuum cleaner as R2-D2. Though I think he’s supposed to be bigger. Like enough for a dwarf to fit inside him.

18. Wonder Woman always knows how to summon her Lasso of Truth.

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Here she stands with her butterfly mask. Wait, I don’t remember her wearing such a thing.

19.  Hope you don’t mind her hanging under the sea.

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Yes, that’s supposed to be Ariel from The Little Mermaid. Her fish tail’s made from a formal dress and a cardboard fin.

20. This guy’s on an Hawaiian excursion.

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He wears a Hawaiian shirt under his coveralls. The palm tree’s even made from an air pipe and party leaves.

21. Have you tried apple boarding?

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Like boarding over a box of apples like this guy. Yeah, you’ve probably never heard of it before.

22. Now here’s a real straw dog.

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Well, it’s covered in burlap. But the straw’s inside. Still, better not throw a bone at it.

23. You’d call this scarecrow a real jack in the box.

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He’s between corn and sunflowers. Has nothing to do with the restaurant, however.

24. You’d think this lady was crazy about her cats.

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Yes, they have crazy cat lady scarecrows, too. The cats seem to be plush though.

25. This chef juggles so many ingredients.

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You wonder why none of them end up dropping. Oh, wait, they’re made of felt and glued onto cardboard.

26. You’ll never know where he is.

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Well, I have put up a Waldo scarecrow before. Yet, this one comes with a walking stick and solar powered binoculars.

27. This frog loves to hang out near the pond.

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He’s a frog prince who will find your ball if you drop it in a well. So if you kiss or have sex with him, he’ll turn human again.

28. This scarecrow’s here to fix your power.

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He knows how to connect the circuits. Though if he gets an electric shock, he burns.

29. These American farmers are just like apple pie.

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Yes, it’s another rendition of American Gothic. Yet, these two don’t have pumpkin heads. There’s also a cow.

30. Seems like you’re in a Mexican restaurant in November.

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The three mariachis wear Dia de los Muertos masks. The waiter presents a bottle of tequila.

31. You might want to stay way from this large crow.

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Yes, this crow is huge and scary. So it’ll naturally make a great Halloween decoration.

32. Feel free to go for a ride?

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This scarecrow rides on a bike. Though I’m not sure if he’s Tour de France material.

33. The potted man tends his garden.

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He’s made from flower pots. Here he tills the land for planting.

34. Behold, the Red Queen.

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She’s from the Tim Burton version of Alice in Wonderland. And yes, she’s quite a force to be reckoned with. Off with their heads!

35. Hope you can respect this policeman.

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He stands next to an American flag wreath. But remember, he’s carrying a pair of handcuffs on him.

36. This scarecrow is an absolute genius.

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He’s supposed to be Albert Einstein. You see, scarecrows have brains after all.

37. Hope this monster doesn’t scare your child.

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He’s actually Sully from Monsters Inc. Sure he scares children. But outside his work, he’s sweet guy. Just ask Boo.

38. This large straw dragon will scare the crows away.

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Some Game of Thrones fans must have too much time on their hands. Still, that’s excellent work on this scarecrow.

39. An old Scottish soldier looks upon the poppy fields of France.

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He’s Scottish since he’s wearing a kilt. And yes, he’s a World War I veteran.

40. I now pronounce you Mr. and Mrs. Potatohead.

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These two are made from haybales and shoes. And I’m not telling you what “mashed” means in potato talk. Since it’s not something you’d want your kids to know about.

41. Anyone would adore this scarecrow family.

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This family is from Japan. Like the kids’ little outfits. So cute.

42. One must always dress for a garden party.

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That purple dress seems a bit too formal for a garden. Also, that’s not how you hold a baby.

43.  So this is married life.

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She’s taking a bath in the tub. He’s on the toilet. No conception of privacy whatsoever.

44. You’d want to cuddle with this Teddy Bear.

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She’s supposed to be a scarecrow version of Marilyn Monroe. As you can see from the dress and hair.

45. “It’s a Scare-Crow hanging in the field…..”

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This is David Crowie during his Ziggy Scaredust years. Even has his pumpkin head painted.

46. You’ll be safe on this boat with him.

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At least he makes a handy flotation device. Still, the sailors built this guy. Yet, he kind of creeps me out.

47.  A small family can always fit on one bike.

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It’s a bicycle built for 2 with a baby seat. Yet, no one’s wearing a helmet.

48. Hulk, smash!

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This one has Hulk hands. But he’s certainly not smashing any windows. Or anything else.

49. Vincent Van Crow seeks inspiration in the field.

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He’s got his paint stuff on his chair along with a couple of sunflowers. Too bad he died at 37.

50. Captain Jack Sparrow might want to swing by.

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He even wears some pirate stuff on him. Though he’s more likely carrying a bottle of rum than a telescope.

51. Little Red Riding Hood has jut run into the wrong wolf.

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Wait until she finds him in bed dressed as her grandmother. Yeah, that’s going to be really disturbing.

52. Perhaps you’ve never seen this Japanese beauty.

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Yes, she’s a scarecrow in Japan. But I love her purple kimono.

53. Do you need any dusting?

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This scarecrow’s dressed as a maid. Though I don’t think the tights go with that outfit.

54. Sometimes you can use a day at the beach.

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Here Meyrl lounges with a tabloid magazine in her beach chair. Though she seems awfully bundled up. Then again, she might be in New England.

55. “I am the Lorax. I speak for the Trees.”

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And if you don’t stop cutting down Truffula Trees, the whole ecosystem will go to shit. Too bad the Oncler didn’t listen.

56. Care to meet Peter Rabbit?

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He’s even posing with carrots. Guess they’re from Mr. MacGregor’s garden.

57. Thought Santa Claus traveled by sleigh.

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This one has Santa traveling by bike. Wonder who he’s talking to.

58. Man, Japanese school girls are vicious.

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Here you have her with a bunch of severed heads. I’d stay out of this field if I were you.

59. “Oh I’ve had the time of my life/And I’ve never felt this way before.”

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Yes, this is a scarecrow take off of Dirty Dancing. And it’s brilliant. Like how the girl has a skull head.

60. This witch better watch where she’s going.

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Since she’s just run into a freaking telephone pole. Though who knows whether she was under the influence of some potion.

61. These ears of corn seem rather shady to me.

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Here they stand at the fence with their angry eyes. Is that deer real or not?

62. Nobody could resist these ragdolls.

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That’s Raggedy Ann and Andy. And yes, they dress in similar outfits. So cute.

63. Presenting the King and Queen of the Forest.

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Kind of remind me of Lord of the Rings characters. Well, one reminds me of Galadriel.

64. Guess we’re coming to the grisly murder scene.

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Didn’t know you can push someone into the washing machine. Still, you have to admire his cleanliness.

65. Looks like they’re holding a funeral.

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Seems like it’s for a musician. Then again, the horses look pretty dead, too.

66. Everyone’s just waiting for the bus here.

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This is from Japan. And yes, the bus stop seems rather large for some reason.

67. This guy has a very long horn.

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It’s made from a pipe. But he’s supposed to be some Swiss guy in the Alps.

68. “I am Groot.”

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He’s the tree guy from Guardians of the Galaxy. Yes, he’s a beast. But as a baby, he’s so adorable, especially when he dances.

69. You got to admire this mermaid’s tail.

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Since it’s made from a bunch of CDs. Love how they shine.

70. Go home, Marcie, you’re drunk.

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They even have bottles and cans lying around. Even funnier that the kids are looking at her through the window.

71. “It’s fun to stay at the YMCA.”

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These scarecrows are The Village People. And yes, they’re doing the “YMCA.”

72. Well, she’s all pinked out.

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She’s got pink hair and wears a pink dress. And she loves pink flowers.

73. This couple is well-dressed for a walk.

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He wears a plaid shirt and jeans. She wears a short dress. So lovely together.

74. Someone’s in the mood for  a fall wedding.

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The groom is radiant. But the bride stuns in that lovely white dress.

75. Here she sits with her flowers.

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She always loves the pink ones. Since they go well with her cardigan.

76. Well, this is quite a mad tea party.

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This is a scarecrow of Alice in Wonderland. Includes the White Rabbit and the Cheshire Cat.

77. Wonder what this chef’s cooking.

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He’s got something in his pot. Not to mention some bread in his arms.

78. This lady’s a real pothead.

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But she’s got a thing for gardening. While her head’s sprouting with leaves.

79. Seems like Gulliver is trapped.

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Since the Lilliputans have tied him with ropes. For they see him as a sleeping giant.

80. Seems like she’s selling garden supplies.

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Well, she’s got all kinds of bottles and packs on her. Feel free to take your pick.

Gather Round All Ye Lords and Ladies to Marvel at These Magnificent Costumes of the Ye Olde Renaissance Festival (Fifth Edition)

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Around my area during weekends in late August and September, the Greater Pittsburgh Renaissance Festival is in town. While touted as a medieval fair with music, feasting, lavish costumes, and entertainment, you might end up losing a ton of your money by the end of the day. And while the jousts may look cool, keep in mind that real jousting in that era can lead to fatalities and serious injuries. After all, King Henry VIII nearly died in a jousting accident that screwed him up for the rest of his life. Whereas a French king was literally killed in one. Nonetheless, given the mishmash outfits, the Renaissance Festival has been a place for many to cosplay. Some dress as fantasy characters from Lord of the Rings and Game of Thrones. Some dress in historic costume ranging from medieval to Three Musketeers. While some just put on whatever they want. Since the Renaissance Festival doesn’t care what you wear, as long as you pay.  So for your reading pleasure, I give you another assortment of lavish Renaissance Festival costumes. Enjoy.

  1. Perhaps you might want a more flowing gown.
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Hey, at least you don’t have to wear a corset. Those things can be very tight.

2. A Khal must always have his khaleesi by his side.

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Which he bought from her brother so he can get an army to storm into Westeros with. He also raped her on their wedding night. But at least he’s played by Aquaman in the show.

3. You may want to dress in purple as a peasant.

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Note that this was highly illegal in Europe during the Renaissance. Since only royalty could wear purple at the time.

4. A fairy should always spread her wings.

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This is especially true if she has vibrant butterfly wings. Also, her dress should match them.

5. Feel free to come as your favorite Disney princess.

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Well, I guess that can work. Though if you come as Snow White, stay away from apples.

6. You’d be a fool to pass by this jester.

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To be fair, jesters only played the fool. However, it was one of the few jobs in the Renaissance era where you criticize your boss and get away with it.

7. A sleek black gown may suit you.

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It’s made out of velvet and has silver shoulders. Just don’t trip on the skirt on your way out.

8. You’ll always stand out wearing bright colors.

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Since nobles usually wear the large, lavish dresses. These women deck ones of green, blue, and pink. The guy wears red.

9. Black can be quite snazzy.

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Sure they may be dressed for a funeral. But you have to love their hats.

10. These barbarians have come to party.

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They’re wearing fur, too. One guy doesn’t even wear a shirt. Because at Renaissance Festivals, it’s optional.

11. This big dead cow has room for 2.

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You can see how two people operate the cow. The thing might freak you out while passing by.

12. An ornate dress will certainly impress.

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This black one includes jewels on the bodice. Like the crown and ruff.

13. A fall fairy has flowers on her wings.

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She also wears a long-nosed half mask. Also, the flowers aren’t real. But you probably knew that.

14. You’d have a hell of a time with these 2.

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Since they come as demons. The guy even wears red armor and horns.

15. Mail can always protect.

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Not sure in the woman’s case. Since it only covers her breasts. Talk about metal.

16. Apparently, Freya stops by.

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I mean she’s dressed like a Viking. And her wings are really sensational. Still, you don’t want her to call on the Valkyrie.

17. Even fairies would like to have a good time.

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One wears green and fire. The other wears blue. But she carries her own mug.

18. Couples should always match in pattern.

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A lot of couples seem to match. Though the woman has a fantastic hat and skirt.

19. It’s not easy wearing green.

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Though these two even wear similar hats. However, their daughter just wears a normal outfit.

20. Looks like we have a dragon in our midst.

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Or at least half of one. Let’s hope they don’t start any fires, shall we?

21. When you realize that your costume isn’t as pimptastic as you thought it would be.

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Though he does wear a fancy black tunic with gold striped pantaloons and a feather hat. Not to mention he wears an awesome necklace, too.

22. Sometimes you have to tie it all up.

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Her brown dress seems to be held together through lacing. Even on the skirt and sleeves.

23. These 3 ladies have come for the dead.

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Since they’re in Dia de los Muertos costumes. A couple wear skull makeup and don skull hats.

24. Barbarian tribes women in the vicinity.

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Okay, they’re just here for the beer. Yet, you have to love their furs.

25. You can catch sight of this druid.

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Since his robes are in blue and orange. But there are those who call him Hank.

26. Always take your sword with you.

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This guy wears a plain brown tunic and pants. Though it won’t help him if the other guy wears armor.

27. These four beauties always go to the tavern together.

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They wear fantastic hats in bright colors, too. They also go to the privies together when nature calls.

28. Guess we got a couple of mad hatters.

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They seem to belong to the steampunk crowd. Though both wear top hats.

29. Even a lad must wear a fancy vest.

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This is a crocheted black vest with gold trim and buttons. But the boy doesn’t seem too happy about it.

30. A purple fairy doesn’t need a fancy skirt.

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Her skirt’s a patchwork. Yet, she wears a matching corset and wings nonetheless.

31. A plain gold trimmed dress will always do.

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This is made from velvet. And sure it’s not fancy. But it’s sure expensive.

32. A lady must always carry a bow and arrow.

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Though some Ren fairs may have a weapons policy. Still, the bow is quite huge.

33. Aren’t these 2 guys a bit too old to be knights?

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Maybe not since knights were all adult ages. But they’re not in Crusader shape.

34. A lady must have a cape of fine furs.

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Okay, the fur’s probably fake. Yet, it certainly goes well with her lovely black dress and gold tiara.

35. A Viking woman must always be modest.

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No horned helmets or boob armor for her. Just a long dress and a belt.

36. This purple fairy sits on a stump.

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Well, she’s wearing purple with green tights. Though her wings are rather transparent.

37. Say hello to the Norse Gods.

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Okay, they don’t look like the ones in the Marvel movies. Yet, at least they know how to dress. Sort of.

38. Wonder where this pairing came from.

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He’s a medieval knight. She’s an 18th century lady. But will love find a way?

39. Feel free to meet these Disney princesses.

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There’s Mulan, Ariel, and Tiana. None of these lived during the Renaissance as far as Disney canon is concerned.

40. These 2 are clad in royal purple splendor.

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Their outfits have gold trim and jewels. Yet, their hats are rather different.

41. Want to help a simple townsman?

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At least I think it’s a guy. But the capris and sandals indicate otherwise.

42. Behold, a shieldmaiden.

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She wears a red dress with green trim. The shield has all kinds of pictures on it.

43. This Scotswoman has all she needs.

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After all, that’s what belts are for. She’s even got a fan of peacock feathers.

44. This dragon is a gentleman.

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Yet, he’s dressed like he’s from the 18th century. And he wears antennas.

45. A long sack is essential for the desert.

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She carries her own walking stick. Hope she can find water.

46. These pirates have come for the rum.

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The women wear their corsets and the fanciest black hats with feathers. The guy wears a scarf and a vest.

47. Need any feathers in your hair?

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These women dress in rather colorful peasant dresses. Like the one in the purple skirt.

48. Why is this Viking so glum?

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He’s got a cool helmet and armor. Not to mention he’s got a skull bag. Guess he couldn’t bring his sword.

49. This nun is here to make music.

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Though she kind of makes blowing into her flute a habit. That the other nun can’t stand it anymore.

50. We seem to have a couple of fancy pirates.

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Seems like these two made their costumes from a rug. Yet, they seem to have a rather good time.

51. What the hell are these Puritans doing here?

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After all, don’t they consider fun sinful? Seriously, these people don’t even celebrate Christmas.

52. Queen Liz celebrates a golden occasion.

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Since she wears a golden dress as Gloriana. Still, don’t ask why she stays single. It’s mostly political.

53. Seems this woman dresses in rags.

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Well, she’s supposed to be dressed like she’s some spirit. Though she doesn’t have much of a corset.

54. Perhaps you might want to dress in glorious pink.

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Though I’m not sure if such shades existed in the 1500s. Yet, she wears a black corset over all those layers.

55. A yellow dress can always flatter.

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Yet, since this is the 21st century, she can make it as comfortable as she’d like. Since historical accuracy isn’t a benchmark at Ren fairs.

56. The faun gets all the chicks.

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He’s shirtless with horns and a fur bottom. Then again, James McAvoy’s Mr. Tummus was much better looking.

57. An elf girl should have a nice spring dress.

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She wears a dress with a corset and boots. Perfect for a nice Renaissance festival.

58. You don’t always need to dress in flashy colors.

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She wears an cream dress with blue. Has a tiara around her head.

59. Want a wooden sword?

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Because metal swords can actually kill people. Though it’s not nice being hit by one either.

60. She prefers an old swashbuckler.

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He even wears an old-fashioned mustache. You’d almost think him a musketeer.

61. Jon Snow and Daenerys are the king and queen everyone wants to rule.

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Too bad their relationship didn’t last. Since Dany went crazy and burned down King’s Landing. So Jon had to kill her.

62. White can always make one stand out.

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This couple dresses to attract stains. Though the woman has a goblet on her belt.

63. Want to ride this centaur?

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Sure he may not seem straight out of Fantasia. But you can put a saddle on him.

64. Just between two grizzled pirates.

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To be fair, pirates didn’t have white and gray beards. Because most of them were under 30 and usually didn’t live past that age.

65. These two don’t come with much on them.

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I bet you they’re supposed to be tribespeople. Yet, they’re really pushing it with the dress code.

66. Walking in the bushes, are we?

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He wears a fancy black tunic and a feather hat. She wears a gold and blue dress with a pearl net.

67. Looks like we have a little Robin Hood in the making.

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Though he should be careful when climbing that tree. Still, wonder if he’s got help from his merry men.

68. Get a load of these royals.

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They even wear matching outfits and crowns. King even has a nice lion on his tunic.

69. You’ll have a good time with these pirates.

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They all quite stunningly dressed. Some even carry the swagger.

70. Gandalf and Legolas stop by.

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So take advantage of all the Middle Earth photo ops while you can. Since it won’t be long till they have to head for Mordor.

71. Forest spirit just needs a cup of ale.

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She wears a green leaf dress. But you have to love her flower garland on her head.

72. You might find this fairy up a tree.

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She has red tights and a brown skirt. Got to like the feathered headdress.

73. This wedding gets a royal sendoff.

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Yes, you can get married at a Renaissance Festival. Though I wouldn’t necessarily recommend that. Still, that knight salute is pretty awesome.

74. This woman has a very long horn.

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She’s dressed like a gypsy. Yet, I wonder what sound she gets from that.

75. I don’t think they have the droids they’re looking for.

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Stormtroopers have gone to the wrong venue. Padme Amidala’s in the front by the way.

76. These guys are here to entertain.

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They’re all dressed like a trio of troubadours. Got to like their snazzy hats.

77. Mind if he uses his telescope?

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Since he needs to stand it up on a stick. Also, don’t mind his ridiculous feather hat and big pantaloons.

78. Want to hang out with a Scottish Stormtrooper?

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Didn’t know Imperial Stormtroopers can be Scottish. Still, he won’t find the droids he’s looking for in that kilt and tam.

79. Blue fairy or purple fairy?

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They both wear long dresses and large wings. One even has flowers on her skirt.

80. Perhaps a white dress and corset is all you need.

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Hers has a flower and fringes. She’s also Vanessa Hudgens.

Not Licensed By the NCAA College Athletic Craft Projects (Fourth Edition)

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As with the NFL posts, I decided not to do a college athletic merchandise blog this year. After all, the more you do, the less crazy NCAA products you can find. Anyway, like most sports fans, while some prefer to buy overpriced gear of their favorite teams, others prefer to make their own. You can see such artistry at work with this March Madness bracket above. Yet, this mostly consists of construction paper, package tape, masking tape and string. Still, I used it since it’s something that doesn’t just reflect any one team. Anyway, for your reading pleasure I give you another assortment of college sport crafts. Most of these will be from NCAA Division I teams, naturally.

  1. This Christmas, decorate your house with one of these snowmen.
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One wooden snowman rolls tide for Alabama. The other is nuts for the Buckeyes.

2. Deck your Georgia Southern door with this decomesh wreath.

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Well, it’s mostly a blue wreath with ribbons of white and gold. Has the team logo in the center.

3. Perhaps you might prefer a wreath like this from Texas Tech.

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This one has the “T” in red and black polka dots. Yet, the decomesh is in a rather beautiful pattern.

4. Are you someone from Arkansas who doesn’t like wreaths? This decoration is for you.

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This one says “Hogs” given that razorbacks are pigs you don’t want to run into. Actually you don’t want to get on any pig’s bad side.

5. A simple Washington University wreath will always do.

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Consists of burlap decoration. Also has a purple W at the bottom.

6. Someone must really love the Georgia Bulldogs.

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Since the bulldog is in this “LOVE” panel. Not sure if it makes a good “Beware of Dog” sign.

7. Feel free to roll the tide with this Alabama wreath.

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It’s a red decomesh with a long houndsooth ribbon around it. It’s also, heart-shaped.

8. Don’t like wreaths? You might like this Georgia door hanger.

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It’s mostly made from burlap and it’s football shaped. Even has a tulle bow decoration.

9. Anyone in Happy Valley would love this wreath.

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It’s a blue Penn State decomesh wreath in blue and white. Includes football decorations for the Nittany Lions.

10. You can hook the Horns with this Texas wreath.

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It’s a dark orange decomesh with white and striped ribbons. Even includes a black feather.

11. Light up your night with this Alabama bottle light.

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Consists of an old wine bottle with Christmas lights in it. Make sure to decorate it with Crimson Tide pride.

12. Need a festive wreath? This LSU Tiger one doesn’t hurt.

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It’s purple and yellow decomesh. Contains a football at the center saying “Geaux Tigers.”

13. Perhaps a burlap Virginia wreath may suit you.

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Includes orange and blue zigzag ribbons. Also has the Virginia Cavalier logo in the center.

14. A tulle Georgia wreath will make a grand impression.

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Contains various shades of red, white, black, and pink. Also says, “Go Dawgs” on top.

15. A simple Notre Dame burlap wreath will always do.

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Has ribbon and football decorations. The N and D are yellow with blue polka dots.

16. Any Alabama fan might want this Crimson Tide bottle.

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This one has the college logo with the elephant. And no, I don’t recommend you put wine in it.

17. Show your Texas pride with this Longhorn yarn wreath.

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It’s orange with white diamonds. Contains brown, white, and orange flowers along with the Texas logo.

18. A rag felt wreath will suit a Michigan fan best.

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It’s orange with white diamonds. Contains brown, white, and orange flowers along with the Texas logo.

19. This Pitt wreath is especially festive.

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It’s a blue and gold decomesh wreath with gold baubles. Has a golden P in the center.

20. Roll tide with this door hanging.

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Consists of a framed picture with a houndsooth strap. Also has houndsooth and red flowers.

21. Go Big Red with this Nebraska yarn wreath.

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It’s red with white stripes. Has an N at the bottom with a football on each side.

22. Deck your front door this season with this white decomesh Penn State wreath.

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Has football decorations and Penn State ribbons. Features the Nittany Lion logo in the center.

23. Support your college team spirit with this Florida Gator ribbon wreath.

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Consists of blue, white, and orange ribbons. Some have stripes and dots. Some don’t.

24. Anyone in Alabama would love this crimson wreath.

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Has a large “A” with “BAMA” on it. Also consists of a thick houndsooth ribbon and bow.

25. Nothing rolls the tide like this Alabama wreath.

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Consists of red and houndsooth ribbons. Includes a helmet, cowboy hat, and a red football.

26. This Indiana panel is in all Hoosier glory.

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This one has a lot of things written on it. But the logo is well in the state.

27. No Boilermaker home is complete without this Purdue panel.

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Has the Boilermaker Special painted upon the wooden planks. Perfect for any Indiana home.

28. Any Husker would rejoice over a wreath like this.

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Consists of red and white decomesh along with ribbons. Has a wooden N and football in center.

29. Show Tiger pride with this LSU wreath.

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Consists of purple decomesh and a gold ribbon. Also has decorative paper baubles for emphasis.

30. Irish luck will shine in this Notre Dame wreath.

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Consists of green and blue ribbons of various shades and patterns. The N and D on top are in gold.

31. Buckeyes will go nuts over this Ohio State wreath.

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Since this burlap wreath has all kinds of buckeye nuts on it. Don’t worry, the nuts are most likely not real.

32. Care for a Florida ribbon wreath?

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Consists of blue and orange ribbons of different colors and patterns. Also has a large F for Florida.

33. In Arkansas, home is where they call the Hogs.

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No, I don’t mean those feral hogs. I mean the Razorbacks. And they’re hogs since they’re wild pigs.

34. Have your little one curl up in this small Michigan State quilt.

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It’s a child blanket. But has a green and white squares in a standard quilt pattern.

35. A simple Notre Dame wreath will do for the Irish.

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It’s a yarn wreath of navy blue with gold strips. The N and D here are in gold.

36. Auburn will always trap Alabama.

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Considering how Alabama seems one of the few teams with a shot at the college football championship, I beg to differ. Still, the mouse trap on elephant is clever.

37. Show pride for Arkansas with this Razorback sign.

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Has “Razorbacks” painted on red and black. Sounds cooler than “hogs” doesn’t it?

38. Love Kentucky? Then you’ll love this wreath.

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It’s a blue decomesh wreath. The letters U and K are white with blue polka dots.

39. A Notre Dame wreath shines in blue and gold brilliance.

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Includes gold berries among the navy blue ribbon and gold decomesh. Has the Notre Dame Fighting Irish logo on the bottom.

40. Feel free to go green with this Spartan wreath.

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This one is from Michigan State. And yes, it has gridiron ribbons. Didn’t know that’s available.

41. Care for a Michigan light?

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Just has Christmas lights in a blue wine bottle. Just make sure to smack the Michigan logo on it.

42. Support your South Carolina team with this football door hanger.

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Though I think the college should change its mascot. Since “gamecocks” will just incite giggles and is an allusion to cock fighting.

43. Perhaps a burlap Tennessee wreath will do.

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This one has gingham orange and white ribbon on the right. Says “Vols” on the left. Has a T with a football in the middle.

44. No Michigan State baby should be without their blankie.

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This is fleece blanket for babies. Though I wouldn’t call it very Spartan.

45. I’m sure this Notre Dame wreath brings in the Fightin’ Irish spirit.

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Made from navy blue and gold ribbons. Like the blue bow on top.

46. Stun your visitors with this Texas Tech decomesh wreath.

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Has red burlap flowers. Includes Texas Tech logo in the center.

47. Mountaineers would love to hang this sign.

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Has every sentiment asscoiated with WVU. All on a blue panel in yellow and white.

48. A simple cloth Auburn wreath will do.

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Made in a flower shape. All on blue and orange cloth with pawprints.

49. Anyone from the Bluegrass State would adore this blue wreath.

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And it’s made for basketball season, too. Made from decomesh and ribbons.

50. An Alabama wreath can use a few bows.

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Each bow contains a tag. Also includes houndsooth.

51. A little tigress girl needs a dress like this.

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It’s an Auburn dress. Includes a shirt, tutu, and bow.

52. Perhaps a Bama wreath with flowers will suit any Tide fan well.

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Has “Bama” in wooden letters. Flowers are white and red.

53. Any Ohio State fan would be nuts for this football hanging.

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Great for any OSU door. Even includes a bow. So pretty.

54. Feel free to sit in this Spartan chair.

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Says “Sparty On!” on the back. Has the Michigan State logo on the seat.

55. Light up your home with this Florida Gators glass block.

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Has a blue polka dot bow on top. Even has the logo painted.

56. Grace your door with this WVU ribbon wreath.

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Has blue and yellow ribbons. Includes football, helmet, and yellow WVU letters.

57. Be simply festive with this Notre Dame burlap wreath.

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Consists of blue ribbon around it. Includes a football and the letters N and D in blue letters.

58. No Bulldogs fan can resist this wreath.

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Has red footballs with black polka dots all around it. Contains a plush bulldog in the middle.

59. How about a burlap Georgia wreath like this?

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Has burlap strips of red, black, and white zigzag stripes. The Georgia logo is in the middle.

60. A tulle Gator wreath will please any Florida fan.

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Tulle and letters are in blue and orange. Football hangs in center.

61. Brighten your home with this Georgia glass light block.

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Has a bow of red and white stripes with the Bulldog logo. Perfect for any Georgia home.

62. Iowa fans would relish in a Hawkeye wreath like this.

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It’s decomesh with ribbons. Has a Hawkeye plate in center.

63. Bring in the basketball season with this LSU wreath.

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It’s made from ribbons. Has a bow with a purple and yellow flower on top.

64. Play beanbags with this Michigan State game hole.

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It’s made from wood and painted with the Spartan logo. Great for tailgate parties.

65. A Texas A&M home should have a wreath like this.

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It’s red decomesh with white ribbons. Has a Texas A&M sign in the middle.

66. A simple Alabama wreath will do.

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Made from burlap. Has striped bow on top. Includes elephant on top.

67. Red and black make for a Texas Tech wreath.

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Made from yarn with the Texas Tech logo on top. Includes red and black flowers.

68. Open college football season with this Gator hanging.

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Painted orange with a blue bow on top. Perfect for any Florida fan.

69. Go to the big game with these GSU bracelets.

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Each is made from plastic. And they’re all painted in Georgia Southern colors.

70. An Auburn wreath will do just fine.

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Has burlap of orange a blue stripes. Has a blue bow on the bottom.

71. Anyone from Arkansas would like to hang this razorback.

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It’s silver with glitter. Perfect for any Arkansas door.

72. Longhorns always belong in Texas.

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It’s made from string and goes where Texas is located. And on an orange panel.

73. Hope you can enjoy this Auburn wreath.

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Has blue, white, and orange ribbons wrapped around it. Includes felt flowers and the Auburn logo.

74. Want to hang this UNC rag wreath?

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Made from white and light blue rags. Has the UNC logo in the middle.

75. Celebrate the big game with this Michigan State panel sign.

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Says, “All Spartans Welcome Here.” All painted green on a panel.

76. Go out to the big game with this WVU jewelry.

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Includes a bracelet and necklace. Both have blue and yellow beads for Mountaineer fans.

77. Raise a glass to the Wisconsin Badgers.

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Well, it’s a Badger wine glass. Though I don’t think it’s for drinking.

78. Keep your neck warm with a WVU infinity scarf.

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It’s a scarf with no end. Has white and blue zigzag stripes and yellow WVU letters.

79. Show Eagle pride with this Georgia sign.

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It’s a wooden panel of Georgia with the GSU logo on it. Perfect for a Georgia Southern fan.

80. Mountaineer fans drink from these cups.

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They’re transparent straw cups. And they’re both in WVU colors.

College Sports Fans Dressed in School Spirit Attire (Fourth Edition)

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As with my NFL costume post, I decided not to use my own picture to open it this year since photo ops require considerable preparation beforehand. Anyway, while American football fans look forward to their favorite NFL team play, school will soon be in session. And this means college football season will soon begin. In many places in the US, you’ll find people who are more diehard over their college teams than those in the pros. Mostly because they either went to the college or the college in question is closer to where they live. You can see this prevalent in the South, particularly in places like Alabama, Arkansas, and Mississippi. Thus, you’ll probably find plenty of sports fans in ridiculous costumes. So for your reading pleasure I give you another assortment of them. Most of them will be from NCAA Div. I teams. Enjoy.

  1. Here you can see a real life San Diego State University Aztec.
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Sure, it might be cultural appropriation. But unlike the Chargers, at least the SDSU Aztecs won’t desert to LA.

2. Bane and Iron Man can always come out to support the Miami Hurricanes.

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Okay, they’re fans dressed as Iron Man and Bane in green and orange glory. Bane even has gloves depicting the school mascot.

3. You’ll see a real Orange Man among the Syracuse fans.

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Well, the guy’s in orange spandex. Still less lame than the school’s actual mascot.

4. Someone must be nuts about Ohio State.

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He’s wearing a Buckeye nut necklace for emphasis. While his wig is of red and silver.

5. Apparently, Santa Claus supports the University of Virginia.

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Okay, that’s not Santa but he’s sporting a long beard and wearing a hat. Still, don’t really see Kris Kringle cheering for the Cavaliers.

6. He wears his love for the North Carolina Tarheels on his hat.

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Well, at least on the visor. Also, he painted half his face blue.

7. These guys go blue for Xavier U.

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Xavier is a Jesuit university in Cincinnati. Its mascot is the Musketeer and you might hear about them during March Madness. And yes, these guys are painted blue.

8. Here we find a Mountaineer fan trying to playfully strangle a Tiger fan from LSU.

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One guy wears a spandex suit with a blue and gold wig. The other goes all in on purple and gold.

9. You’d think these Clemson Tiger fans were in a production of cats.

NCAA FOOTBALL: OCT 15 NC State at Clemson

Since they have their faces painted like a tiger. Some even wear tiger costumes.

10. Always roll the tide in Alabama.

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These guys even wear big ties. As they show their Tide boxes on a stick with toilet paper.

11. An Irish fan should go all out.

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This woman wears a shiny garland top hat you’d use in Saint Patrick’s Day decorations. Since she’s proud of Notre Dame.

12. This Auburn guy goes with the Tiger face.

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He even wears tiger fangs. While his stripes are blue on orange.

13. These guys always wear their love for Auburn on their chest.

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Since they’ve painted their chests orange while they spell out the name. Okay, it’s not spelled quite right but you get the idea.

14. They show their love for their South Florida bulls in green and gold.

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Well, a couple of them are wearing clothes. Yet, each has a bull on their chests.

15. At Texas Tech, one must put on a cowboy hat and coveralls.

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She even wears black and red face paint. Though I’m sure she can loudly shout from the stands.

16. Even dogs cheer for Boston College.

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This pooch just wears a T-Shirt. And doesn’t seem too happy its owner made dressed it.

17. Perhaps it’s time to get out the flag for the Navy.

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Yes, I know it’s a military branch not a college. But they still participate in college games.

18. WVU fans paint their faces with blue and gold.

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One wears a coonskin hat for the Mountaineers. And yes, it has the WVU logo on it.

19. At UNC, the beard must match the hat.

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As you can see, he’s wearing a fuzzy Dr. Seuss hat. While his beard is in light blue.

20. This Georgia fan always has to put on the spikes.

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Okay, at least on his shoulder pads. But at least they’re not that sharp. Also paints his face red and black.

21. You have no idea of how crazy Georgia Bulldog fans can be.

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This guy’s wearing dreadlocks and weird face paint. Also sports spiked shoulder pads.

22. This UConn Huskie fan is all jacked for March Madness.

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Since he’s wearing a basketball headdress. While his shirt depicts huskies in Andy Warhol style.

23. He wears his love for the Georgia Bulldogs on his head.

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Given that he’s bald, he makes the most of it. Also, that’s just body paint he’ll have to take off before going to bed.

24. Boba Fett arrives in Miami to cheer for the Hurricanes.

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However, he has to pick up a frozen Han Solo later on and take him to Jabba. And not in his green and orange suit of armor.

25. Seminole glitter guys, meet your dream girls.

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Okay, they don’t have as much glitter on them. But they do wear red and gold body paint for Florida State.

26. Didn’t know I could find an Imperial Stormtrooper at Alabama.

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He’s even wearing a red helmet for the Crimson Tide. Though he wouldn’t do well on the rifle team since he can’t hit anything.

27. I bid you a big warm welcome for the La Salle University Glitter Bros.

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These guys are from a Catholic college in Philadelphia. While one comes in wearing a tie.

28. This Michigan girl wears her hat for the Wolverines.

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Incredibly, she wears a Wolverine hat. And I don’t mean the one from X-Men.

29. Hope you can fan out with this guy from Virginia Tech.

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He has an orange clown wig. While his friend wears a maroon one.

30. KISS and the nuns have descended on Wisconsin.

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The nuns even wear their Wisconsin pride on their habits. While some of the KISS members have red make up on.

31. Want these fans to spell it out for you?

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The guys painted “Clemson” on their chests, letter by letter. Save the one who’s got a pawprint instead.

32. This guy’s gone all red for Georgia.

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He wears a red visor and wig on his head to match his face. Not to mention spiked shoulder pads.

33. Never thought I’d come across a real hog head.

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Well, he’s an Arkansas Razorbacks fan. As you can see by his hat. Still, you don’t want to run into 30-50 of them.

34. These fans gather for a pow wow at Florida State.

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Yes, they’re in Native costume and it’ll sure offend many. But this is a ridiculous fan post. So it goes.

35. Even dinosaurs go for Michigan.

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These are fans in inflatable T-Rex costumes. Though you’d think they came all the way from Jurassic Park to watch the game.

36. You’d think this guy’s a real corn man.

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Cause he has a cob on his head and each of his arms. And yes, he looks really silly.

37. Things can be weird at a Nebraska game.

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Two guys are wearing coveralls. While a woman’s dressed up like an ear of corn. After all, Nebraska’s home of the Huskers.

38. Someone from Kentucky is all blue in the face.

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Relax, he’s wearing face paint and a blue wig. Yet, you’d almost think he’ll freeze during March Madness.

39. He’s all horned up for the Georgia Bulldogs.

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For he’s wearing horns on his head. Another of the Spike Squad.

40. These Virginia Tech fans come in shoulder pads and capes.

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They’ve even painted their faces. But fortunately, their shoulder pads are leather.

41. Make way for the Longhorn fan with the massive horns.

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Hope those horns don’t weigh him down. But when he comes, get out of the way.

42. There’s a Joker sporting a Mohawk.

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Okay, that’s a Georgia fan dressed as the Joker. Also wears spiked shoulder pads.

43. You’ll find a superheroine among these Seminoles fans.

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She wears a cape and mask, too. While she carries her things in her own utility belt.

44. In Arizona State, feel free to put on a fedora and laderhozen.

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It’s even funnier that this guy doesn’t look the least bit German. Even wears matching yellow Ray Bans.

45. These women go all purple for Clemson.

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Seems like they’re wearing a combination of tank tops and body paint. And yes, they’ve painted their faces.

46. You have to be mad not support the Oregon Ducks.

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And no, this guy’s not the Mad Hatter. Just an Oregon Ducks fan with eccentric fashion sense.

47. These glitter women don their Seminole headdresses.

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Wait a minute, Seminoles wouldn’t wear those headdresses. Those are Plains warbonnets. Cultural appropriation.

48. If there’s a fire in Arizona, you might want to see this guy.

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Okay, he’s an Arizona Coyote fan. Here he holds a the state flag and a Sun Devil plushie.

49. Always go green for Notre Dame.

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Though I’m not sure dressing like a gangster leprechaun at a disco is the way to go. Then again to each his own.

50. When it comes to Notre Dame, this guy’s all green.

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He’s even wearing a green tuxedo shirt with Irish flag suspenders. While his hat has all kinds of pins.

51. You don’t want to see a leprechaun without his shirt.

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Though he’s decked in green body paint, you can still see his tattoos. Hope he’s not drunk on whiskey.

52. A yellow war bonnet is always essential for an Oregon Ducks game.

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For God’s sake why wear that? Oregon’s mascot is Donald Duck. Then again, the fan may be Native American. But even so, I don’t think Oregon Indians wore them.

53. Mr. Goldskull just came for the Baylor Bears.

NCAA FOOTBALL: DEC 03 Baylor at West Virginia

If the Bears lose, he’ll curse the players so that they’ll lead lives of pain and misery should they go to the NFL. Also wears a matching golden chain.

54. This Duck isn’t having it.

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That’s an Oregon Duck fan in a hockey mask. They also wear a gold and yellow cape.

55. This fan’s going to light things up at Oregon.

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Well, he wears an Oregon hat lined with lights. While he’s got his face painted in green and yellow.

56. A Trojan sits down for a game at USC.

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He even wears a Trojan helmet. Though I don’t think it’ll help him in the Southern California heat.

57. There are people of all stripes who go for the Baylor Bears.

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These people are all wearing striped ref shirts with their team colors. One’s wearing a silly yellow wig.

58. Sesame Street is brought to you by the letters S and J for Saint Joseph University.

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Well, we have Big Bird and Cookie Monster. By the way, St. Joseph is a Jesuit college in Philadelphia.

59. A Northwestern girl came down with a grave case of pom pom hair.

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Oh, she has pom poms in her hair. Well, that’s school spirit for you.

60. I now give you, Basketball man.

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He’s a Baylor fan wearing a basketball hat. I know it looks incredibly hilarious and ridiculous.

61. And now, let me introduce you to Wagonhead.

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Since he’s wearing a Conestoga wagon on his head. Though to be fair, he’s from the University of Oklahoma.

62. Blue and white hair is all the rage at the University of North Carolina.

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Why does she have a zipper on her head? Does she wear another face during the game?

63. Somebody’s really mad about basketball.

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These fans from Florida University wear basketballs and nets on their heads. And all for their love of the Gators.

64. This tuxedo pig always knows how to stay classy.

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This person is a Razorback fan from the University of Arkansas. And wears the hog hat to match.

65. Behold, the Notre Dame Light Irish Brigade.

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Mostly because they have light green faces. One’s even totally green.

66. Apparently, someone came in dressed as Joe Boeheim.

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He must be some guy at Syracuse. Though judging from the costume, he doesn’t seem to have great fashion sense.

67. Supermen always cheer for Oklahoma Sooners.

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Though they wear red and white body paint for the school colors. One even wears a flamboyant red wig.

68. Introducing Pom Pom Man.

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Since his outfit’s made from pom poms. Though he must be hot in Alabama.

69. You’d think this Notre Dame leprechaun is on weed.

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Given he’s got a green wig and wears slanty sunglasses. Yeah, he’s totally high on something.

70. These 3 leprechauns always stick together.

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Since they all have the same kind of hat and beards. While unlike other Irish, they drink Budweiser beer.

71. Michigan Stormtrooper stops by a Wolverines game.

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Yet, don’t trust him with a T-shirt cannon. Because he won’t hit anything.

72. My, he must have really big hands.

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This guy’s from University of Miami. Since his hands are green and orange on both sides.

73. Hope you can cover all with these Illinois fans.

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They also have their faces painted orange and black. As their coveralls are striped.

74. Darth Vader is very disappointed with the Miami Hurricanes.

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And if they don’t win, he’ll force choke the players. So they better get their act together.

75. This lucha guy is all in for the Arkansas Razorbacks.

NCAA FOOTBALL: NOV 19 Arkansas at Mississippi State

He also wears a poncho. While his lady friend dons a cowboy hat.

76. What’s with the Husky face?

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Well, he’s wearing a Husky mask and hat. And yes, he’s totally freaking me out right now.

77. These announcers don’t know what’s coming to them.

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These are fans from Arizona State. One’s dressed as an eagle. One’s a unicorn. One’s a scary clown.

78. This Superman comes all the way from Kansas.

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Though he’s just here to support his team. And unlike the one in the comics, his suit has shorts.

79. This Arizona State Sun Devil fan is all in the red.

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Well, he wears a red spandex body suit. While he sports a flaming yellow wig on his head.

80. Goldy’s got a few friends at Minnesota.

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The guys are in gopher costumes. Like they’re supporting Punxsutawney Phil on Groundhog Day.

81. These Georgia Tech fans can always form a yellow line.

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One of them has a unicorn mask. While the rest have flaming yellow wigs.

82. Apparently, the Pharaoh is on Team Gonzaga.

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Well, one has that Egyptian headdress on. Yet, I wonder if the college treats him like a king on the Nile.

83. Someone at Georgia knows the ways of the Force.

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Then again, Sith use the red lightsaber. Yet, only 2 they are, no more, no less.

84. The green masked guy has to look smashing at the game.

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His mask has an orange has a handle bar mustache. He also wears an orange tie and sunglasses.

85. These Seton Hall fans have gone a bit formal.

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Seton Hall’s a Catholic university in New Jersey. While these guys are all in spandex tuxedo suits.

86. Well, here’s a Ram who’s not so Rowdy at Colorado State.

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He seems rather tired. While his ram ears are quite plushy.

87. Sometimes you got to go with the pattern.

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As you can see, his comes directly from his hat. And yes, he painted a complex cross on his face.

88. This Florida International Elf roots for the Golden Panthers.

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Apparently, he’s spending football season in Miami instead of at the North Pole. Also, he should be roasting.

89. Perhaps one can spell out FIU on their midriffs.

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These women have done just that. And they’re wearing bikini tops to show.

90. Hope you find these Northwestern fans interesting.

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One’s a scary clown in a purple suit. The other wears half a mask and a purple cape.

91. At Boisie State, you can’t wear a sombrero without blue hair.

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Wonder what he’s shouting in the stick he’s carrying. Still, at least the sombrero adds a colorful touch.

92. Wonder what’s gone through these Penn State players.

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Okay, they’re fans. Yet, those faces in the football helmets seem rather silly to me.

93. One can’t wear too many necklaces for LSU.

NCAA Football: Outback Bowl-Iowa vs Louisiana State

Seems like he’s about to attend a Mardi Gras party afterwards. Even wears a purple jester hat.

94. You’ll be bound to find a piñata girl at Boise State.

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But please don’t hit her with a stick. Because that counts as assault and battery. Also, you don’t want the candy she has inside her.

95. Didn’t know the Chick Fil-A cow roots for Alabama.

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Given the CEO opposes LGBT rights, it makes a lot of sense. Still, funny how the cow wears a red cape.

96. This skeleton guy always supports his East Carolina Pirates.

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Well, the skull face is mostly face paint. But he also wears a bandana and sunglasses to look cool.

97. You’d think this East Carolina gal is from the 17th century.

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She’s clearly dressed up as a pirate. Even wears an eye patch with a jeweled skull and cross bones.

98. Elvis has come to Iowa.

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Thought Elvis would be for Ole Miss or Tennessee. Oh, wait, he never went to college.

99. Even gophers like the Golden Gophers.

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Okay, she’s wearing a gopher mask. Yet, don’t bet on her crawling into a hole in February.

100. Don’t mess with this South Carolina chicken.

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He’s supposed to be a gamecock, said to be used in cockfighting. Also has his own superhero sidekick.

Not Licensed by the NFL Professional Football Craft Projects (Fifth Edition)

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Though I usually follow an NFL costume post with strange NFL merchandise, I decided to just skip to crafts. While there’s a lot of crazy NFL merchandise out there, it’s increasingly difficult to find unique items with NFL logos. Not to mention, I kind of prefer doing craft stuff anyway. Anyway, while many NFL fans like to get their gear at overpriced NFL stores, some might prefer to make their own. After all, you’ll find crafters in every fandom. Sports fans are sometimes no different. Many might use crafts for decorations like a team wreath for their front door. Some might go for outdoor decoration and other items. So for your reading pleasure, I give you another assortment of NFL crafts for the upcoming season.

  1. Grace your home with this Broncos wreath.
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Might consists of bows. Includes orange ribbons. Perfect for anyone in Denver.

2. If you live in Miami, you might like this ribbon wreath.

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The ribbons are in aqua green and orange as well as in a variety of patterns. Perfect for any Dolphins fan door.

3. A Patriots wreath should include a few felt flowers.

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The flowers are red and white. The wreath is made from blue yarn with red stripes.

4. A New Orleans Saints wreath can get quite fancy.

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This one has black and gold ribbons all over it. A black football is in the center.

5. Keep your ears warm this football season with this Green Bay Packers headband.

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It’s crocheted green with a Packers logo on it. Perfect for a cold tailgate party in Wisconsin.

6. A baby Steeler fan can’t do without a pair of these booties.

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They’re made from cloth to keep your little one’s feet so warm and cozy. So cute.

7. Speaking of Steelers, you might want a wreath like this.

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This one has black and gold stripes and the logo on the right. And all made from scrunched cloth.

8. I’m sure a 49er fan would want this wreath on their door.

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This is a striped yarn wreath of gold and red. Contains a football and a 49ers flag on the bottom.

9. Go to the game in these Steeler flower hair clips.

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Each one has black and gold petals. 2 have the logos in the center. One has a helmet.

10. Perhaps you’d prefer to wear a Dallas Cowboys hairclip instead.

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This one’s made with blue and white ribbons. Has the Cowboys logo in the center.

11. Feel free to hang this Steeler decomesh wreath.

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It’s a mostly black and gold wreath. Decorated with black and gold ribbons and a Steeler sign.

12. Any girl would want this Denver Broncos headband.

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It’s crocheted with a football and a blue and orange flower. Great for games at the Mile High City.

13. Perhaps a Miami Dolphins fan would like a ribbon wreath like this.

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Consists of white, orange, and aqua blue ribbons. Some even have the Dolphins logo. And despite how we see them as docile creatures, dolphins do have a vicious side.

14. Any Baltimore Ravens fan would crave for this sign.

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This one is painted on wooden panel. Perfect to put on your door if you don’t like wreaths.

15. Cook your tailgate fare in this Steeler apron.

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It’s mostly gold with a black sash to tie. Available for women and with pockets.

16. You can tell a Seahawks fan lives here by this wreath.

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Even consists of a sign stating it. Also the wreath is blue and bright green.

17. Get ready for game day with this New England Patriots rag wreath.

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Uses red and blue rags. Includes Patriots football logo.

18. Keep warm this football season with this Pittsburgh Steelers quilt.

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Has a rather interesting quilt pattern. Perfect for the later season.

19. Light up your home with this Pittsburgh Steeler bottle light.

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Made from a wine bottle with Christmas lights inside. Also includes the Steelers logo along with black and gold ribbons.

20. Decorate your door this season with this Seahawks wreath.

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Consists of decomesh and ribbons. Has a Seahawks logo on a placard in the center.

21. Look your best at the big game with this Steeler ribbon headband.

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Covered in a black and gold ribbon weave with a bow. So pretty.

22. This Pittsburgh Steeler logo is all thread.

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Mostly because it’s done on a panel in this style. Perfect for any Steeler fan in your life.

23. Care for a Detroit Lions wreath?

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It’s a decomesh wreath that shows you’re with your team. Even if they usually never win their games.

24. Grace your front door this football season with a festive Saints wreath like this.

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Who knew Saints wreaths can be so festive? Then again New Orleans best known for Mardi Gras.

25. Light up your man cave with this Seattle Seahawks bottle lamp.

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Made from an old blue wine bottle. Has the Seahawks name and bow decoration.

26. Step right up with these Baltimore Ravens flip flops.

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Includes a purple flower on top. Not meant for the shower, however.

27. Anyone in Detroit would love this Lions wreath.

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This is a felt rag wreath with gray and blue strips. Includes a Lions logo at the bottom.

28. A Cincinnati Bengals wreath must always have striped décor.

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Well, this has a tiger stripe ribbon around it. After all Bengals are tigers.

29. Light up your game with this Rams wine bottle light.

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Not sure if this is for Saint Louis or LA. Also has a ribbon around the neck.

30. Anyone in Chicago would love to have this Bears yarn wreath.

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Has triangle flags across it spelling “Bears.” Also includes other felt decorations.

31. Perhaps you’d like a pair of Jacksonville Jaguar boots.

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These are heavy duty boots with Jaguar decor on them. So you can’t wear them to work anymore.

32. Look your best for the big game with these Seattle Seahawks earrings.

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These are made from beads depicting the Seahawks logo. I don’t think they’re meant for my ears though.

33. How about a Tampa Bay Buccaneers ribbon wreath.

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Composed of all kinds of ribbons. The logo is on the side.

34. Wonder where a Dolphin fan is to go during the holiday season.

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One arrow points to the North Pole. The other points to the Miami Dolphins’ stadium.

35. Keep warm at the game with this Jacksonville Jaguars crocheted beanie.

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Not sure why anyone would need a hat like this in Jacksonville. Since it’s in Florida where cold weather is a 40 degree day.

36. Any fan of the Chicago Bears would appreciate this burlap wreath.

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Spells out “Bears” on the left with the logo on the right. Decorated with orange and blue ribbons.

37. Be a maven in your kitchen in this Pittsburgh Steelers apron.

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This one has stripes on the trim. Perfect for any Pittsburgh kitchen on game day.

38. Perhaps a burlap wreath of the Indianapolis Colts may suit you.

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This one has a blue ribbon with a bow. Also includes the Colts logo on top.

39. Grace your home with this crocheted Steeler logo.

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Sure it’s rather minimalistic. But best if you put these stars on a white circular table.

40. Miami Dolphins fans would relish in this wreath.

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Made out of burlap and decomesh. Includes footballs and the Dolphins’ logo in the center.

41. Want a Pittsburgh Steelers gingerbread man?

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Technically he’s a Christmas tree ornament. But he’s decked in the black and gold nonetheless.

42. Nothing says a good time like drinking from these Saints wine glasses.

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Actually, I don’t think people would drink from them. More like put them in a display case.

43. Don your door this NFL season with this Pittsburgh Steeler wreath.

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This wreath’s made out of black yarn with gold felt diamonds. And it’s all held together by white string along with red and blue pins.

44. Perhaps a Dallas Cowboy fan will like this cross on their mantle.

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The cross is made out of blue cloth pulled onto a wooden panel. And it’s topped with a cloth white rose.

45. Grace your door this season with a Broncos yarn wreath.

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It’s mostly blue with some orange. Spells out “Broncos” on top.

46. Be glamorous in the kitchen wearing this Pittsburgh Steelers apron.

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Seems like the third Steelers apron on this post. But you can wear this one with a pearl necklace apparently.

47. Carry your things with this Jacksonville Jaguars tote bag.

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Great for carrying a bottle of wine when your team loses. If you’re a Jaguars fan, that’s certainly a fact of life.

48. Support your team with this Houston Texans wreath.

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It’s decomesh with zigzag striped ribbons. Includes flags with the Texans logo on them.

49. Prepare your food in this stylish New York Jets apron.

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Don’t really seem to have a lot of Jets stuff on my NFL posts. Anyway, it has a green tie, by the way.

50. I’m sure any Dallas Cowboy fan would want a wreath like this.

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Consists of white and blue decomesh. Also has a Cowboys star logo in the center.

51. A Baltimore Ravens wreath can use a few flowers.

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It’s a yarn wreath of gold and purple with purple, gold, and white felt flowers. The logo is on the bottom.

52. Nothing makes game day like this Colts table decoration.

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Consists of 2 blue helmets on tissue paper with footballs. Makes a great centerpiece.

53. Keep yourself warm with this crocheted Seahawks blanket.

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Has blue, white, and bright green zigzag stripes. Perfect for any cold game, especially in Seattle.

54. Step into these stylish Ravens flip flops.

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These have bows on them, too. Also, not meant for the shower either.

55. Hang this Colts wreath on your door.

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It’s burlap with a blue bow and the horseshoe logo. One of the more simpler projects on this post.

56. Perhaps a Colts grapevine wreath will suit you.

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Contains a garland with “Colts” spelled out in felt. Also includes a zigzag striped bow on top.

57. No Carolina parent should leave their cub without these Panther booties.

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They’re crocheted with ribbons. Not sure if they’ll be used in the Carolinas since it’s warmer there during the winter.

58. You can tell a real Colts fan lives here by this sign.

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It’s painted on a 2-piece wooden panel. Perfect for any door or outside.

59. Bet you’ve never seen a Steelers wreath like this before.

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One side consists of rags. The other consists of string. Also includes black and gold stars.

60. Want to cook in this Baltimore Ravens apron.

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Has purple bows on the top and on the pockets. Wonder if they also make these for men.

61. Don’t show up at the game without your New York Giants headband.

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Has the Giants logo on the top. Still, for a 2-time Super Bowl winning team, I don’t seem to find a lot of stuff on them.

62. You might come across this Dallas Cowboys jar.

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Consists of a jar nailed to a blue and white panel. Wonder if this is used to store keys.

63. Dress your front door with this Redskins wreath.

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It’s a decomesh with a Redskins ribbon. Also includes the Redskins logo with a helmet along with footballs.

64. Care for a fancy Jaguar wreath?

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This one is in black decomesh with aquamarine and leopard print ribbons. But you can tell it’s for the Jaguars since it includes a football.

65. Any New England girl would love to wear a Patriots hair clip like this.

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It’s made from red, white, and blue ribbons in a flower design. So you can also wear it on the 4th of July.

66. Praise the Lord and the Dallas Cowboys with this cross.

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It’s wood and painted in white, blue, and silver. Given most of Texans root for the Cowboys, they should adore it.

67. A simple yarn Colts wreath will always do.

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Spells out “Colts” on the flags. Also consists of a white horseshoe, pom poms, and a football.

68. Anyone in Tennessee would love this Titans pumpkin.

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Even includes a face mask. Though I don’t think it will scare anyone.

69. Curl up on your couch in this Green Bay Packers quilt.

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It takes a standard quilt pattern. While the borders are in yellow and green.

70. Kick back this season in a Dallas Cowboys lawn chair.

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Made out of wood as well as painted blue and silver. Not sure if you can watch the game in it since it’s more suited for the outdoors.

71. Be festive during football season with this tulle Dolphins wreath.

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Is in aqua green and orange stripes. Consists of a bow with a football on it at the bottom.

72. Sometimes a simple wreath is best.

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This is a black burlap Jacksonville Jaguars wreath. Has “Jags” in aquamarine letters and a leopard print bow.

73. Keep your stuff in this Seahawks tote bag.

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Has a bright green streak on top. Perfect for taking to games in Seattle.

74. Have your little foal snuggle with this Denver Broncos blanket.

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It’s made from fleece. So your little one won’t shiver in the Mile High City.

75. Make your games bright with this Tennessee Titans bottle light.

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Lit with Christmas lights inside a wine bottle. Also includes Titans ribbons at the neck.

76. A Steelers wreath should have some flowers.

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Particularly black flowers since it’s the black and gold. Has the Steelers logo on the right.

77. Wrap yourself on a cold day with this Seattle Seahawks blanket.

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It’s crocheted with the Seahawks logo on it. Great for winter days.

78. Perhaps you might want to wear this Seahawks heart pendant necklace.

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Made from blue, white, and green beads. Perfect for the big game.

79. Show your love for the New York Jets with this decomesh wreath.

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Well, decomesh and burlap. Has a burlap bow with the Jets logo on it.

80. A Denver girl would love to wear this Broncos jumper.

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Has a denim top and a Broncos skirt. So adorable.

NFL Fans Dressed and Ready for Game Day (Fifth Edition)

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Though August has no notable holidays, it’s a rather busy month. For one, people usually take their vacations around this time. Second, it’s back to school season, making stores busy given how parents scramble for their kids’ supplies. But August also kicks off the NFL pre-season. And the Steelers’ first pre-season game is on Friday, August 9. Given that I’m not a big sports fan at all, I’ll most likely watch Netflix instead. Nonetheless, given that football is incredibly important where I live, I must do posts to boost my stats since they’ve been recently lagging. Anyway, one of the huge features of sporting events is seeing some fans in their outlandish costumes. Because for them, wearing their team’s jersey isn’t enough. The NFL is no exception. And yes, people do look ridiculous in them. So for your reading pleasure, I give you another assortment of NFL costumes.

  1. You might find a scary face among the stands in Miami.
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And it’s not Ray Finkle. Rather it’s a guy in a orange and aqua green horror movie mask to support the Dolphins.

2. Feel free to go blue for the Dallas Cowboys.

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And thank God, they’re wearing shirts. Still, one guy has a silver star on his face.

3. No pink dress can have too many baubles if you’re supporting the Atlanta Falcons.

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Her dress even includes sequins. While her hat consists of hot pink feathers.

4. Perhaps your hat should have some of your favorite players.

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These are Browns fans. So the players aren’t that great. Still, like the bones on the other guys’ hats.

5. For Seahawks fans, the hair should always match the face paint.

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And yes, his mohawk is in green, blue, and silver. Fortunately, the Seahawks are usually good enough to make the playoffs.

6. Huge support for one’s team always requires a huge hat.

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This guy has a Dr. Seuss type hat in support of his Tennessee Titans. Wonder why you don’t hear about that team very often.

7. A Broncos fan should always drive in a Broncos car.

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Sure it’s small. But I’m positive it cost this guy a fortune. But he seems proud of it in his horse hat.

8. The Houston Texan fans have their horns out.

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The horns are made from paper mache. But they’re also in red and blue to support the team.

9. She has her love for the Pittsburgh Steelers all over her face.

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Well, she has the logo on the face. Also wears a boa of black and gold feathers around her neck and beneath her coat.

10. A Detroit Lions fan wallows in shame.

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Given that they didn’t win a game one season. Still, they’re not known as a winning team. But I think the bag on the guy’s head is hilarious.

11. This man’s ready for Packers business.

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He even wears a cheese tie with coveralls. Would be funnier if he wore the tie with a green suit.

12. Don’t forget to have a beer on tap.

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This Browns fan has a beer bottle on his hard hat. Comes very handy given the Browns’ track record.

13. This Buffalo Bills fan is here to show his support.

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He’s wearing a rather interesting jacket, too. Not sure who Talley is. Must be one of the players.

14. One has to be strong to root for the Bills.

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This guy has a blue muscle shirt on along with a pink cape to support Breast Cancer Awareness. It’s said to match his red fro and beard.

15. A cat face is essential for those who love the Carolina Panthers.

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She has blue etchings on it as well. Still, at least it’s not black since that would be a huge problem.

16. Red Alert! Packers car coming through.

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Has a cheese on top. Wonder how much it cost to put this car in Packer colors. Probably an arm and a leg.

17. A Seahawks queen must always have the logo on her face.

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She has jewels around her eyes. And even wears a tiara on her silver, green, and blue hair.

18. You might want to don a full body suit to support your Cincinnati Bengals.

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Yes, it’s made from orange spandex. Also wears a headdress with orange and black feathers.

19. Don’t forget your dreadlock hat.

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This Steeler fan even has a black and gold face paint. Nonetheless, I’m not sure if the hat’s even necessary.

20. Bengal fans always stick together.

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One guy has a leather Bengal helmet. The other wears a tiger hat with black and orange clown hair.

21. Always be bundled up for a New England Patriots game.

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His face is painted red, white, and blue. While his hat sports blue and silver fuzz that’s most likely not his real hair.

22. Is he wearing a mask or is that face paint?

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Well, the style makes you think this Seahawks fan is wearing a mask. But he’s actually sporting face paint. Then again, the green part’s probably a Phantom mask.

23. This dog is all in for the San Diego Chargers.

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Excuse me, LA Chargers. Then again, its owner probably dressed the dog in that outfit for a photo op anyway.

24. Chargers fans got to wear lightning bolts on their heads.

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One has a lightning bolt hat. The other has the lightning bolt painted on his bald head.

25. These Charger fans know how to shock the Chiefs.

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The woman the left has a Chargers visor hat with blue and yellow hair. While she also sports a blue and yellow wig along with a blue cape. Not to mention both hold large lightning bolts.

26. This 49ers fan shows his Super Bowl pride.

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But don’t mention Colin Kaepernick who played for the team. Because I think the guy’s white.

27. These Rams fans sport the curly clown wigs.

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The wigs are in blue and gold. While they sport skull makeup akin to the Day of the Dead.

28. This Baltimore man runs on purple.

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He supports the Ravens, by the way. Even wears a purple hat and holds a purple towel and pom poms.

29. These Raiders fans have face masks on their sombreros.

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Seems like a long time to get to any Raiders fans. Though sombreros don’t offer the same head protection as helmets do.

30. This Raiders fan is an American patriot at heart.

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Well, the logo he’s wearing has shiny red, white, and blue decorations. Don’t think it’s enough to help the team though.

31. This New Orleans Saints fan’s got a helmet with a visor.

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Wonder how he sees through that thing. Then again, the visor might function like sunglasses.

32. These Steeler ladies rock in their black and gold gear.

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One even wears Steeler sunglasses. While they both sport similar Steeler Scarves.

33. For this Green Bay Packers fan, a cheese head’s not enough.

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This one has Green Bay Packers logos all over his hat. The cheese even has a cape.

34. This Packers fan meets with an ancient soldier.

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The guy on the right is a Tennessee Titans fan. He wears a Roman Centurion helmet and a fur cape.

35. These Houston Texan fans know how to get their freak on.

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3 of them wear sombreros and skull masks. One wears a bandana and big pendant necklaces.

36. A Raiders fan needs a skull on each shoulder.

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And both have to have mohawks and go with the chains. While the chains also have to have skulls on them.

37. An Arizona Cardinals fan always sports a bird mask.

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Well, it’s a bird mask in the luchador style. Even has fake red hair on top.

38. This fiery man comes for the Denver Broncos.

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You’d almost think he’s on fire with his orange face and hair. But that’s just face paint and a wig.

39. As far as this guy’s concerned, the Cleveland Browns have gone to the dogs.

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Then again, the dog is the Cleveland Browns mascot. Still, the team’s not going to win Super Bowls anytime soon.

40. Seems we got a real New Orleans firefighter.

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He’s in a Saints-inspired firefighter outfit. As he waves an American flag.

41. Minnesota Viking fans come in all shades.

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You see some guys in camo along with a guy in a superhero outfit. One even wears a fire helmet with horns.

42. All a Raiders fan needs is a banner and as a silver skull mask.

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Sure it’s not as ridiculous as some of the others. But it still goes with the Raiders skull schtick.

43. He shows his love for the Seahawks all over his face.

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His fan face even includes sharp teeth. Still, why anyone would do face paint like this is beyond me.

44. This woman paint herself in the black and gold.

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To be fair, she’s only using that face paint pattern to emulate the hair. Still, if it wasn’t for the gold stripe in the middle, she’d be in deep shit.

45. This Cowboys fan is all decked out for the game.

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He has blue and white stars on his face. While he wears a large blue cowboy hat and a white cape.

46. Behold, the Colts transformer.

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He has a Colts mask with Colts stuff on it. But no one knows who he is.

47. Chargers fans, put on your clown wigs.

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One has a white wig. The other has a yellow one. But if they live in San Diego, they’re screwed.

48. Elvis has come to the Tennessee Titans game.

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Well, Memphis is in Tennessee so it fits. But Elvis grew up in Mississippi so he might’ve been a fan of the Saints.

49. A fan wears skulls to support his Oakland Raiders.

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Guy has a skull on each shoulder and one on his chest. One of them has a Dallas Cowboys helmet in its jaws.

50. This Philadelphia Eagles fan lets the eagle soar.

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Fan is even dressed like an eagle. Wears a feather wig and fur sleeves.

51. The Minnesota Viking sounds his horn.

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To be fair, real Vikings didn’t wear horned helmets in battle. But since the Vikings’ mascot does, here you go.

52. Apparently, Red Skull is a Cardinals fan.

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Actually that’s a skull mask painted in a Cardinal motif. Still, like the fuzzy suit jacket.

53. These Saints gladiators will protect you.

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Each one carries a shield with a fleur de lis. And both have a fleur de lis on their faces.

54. This Patriots fan comes with all stars and stripes.

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He’s got his face painted and wears a foam Patriots logo hat. Though don’t mention Brady’s deflated footballs.

55. One must always look one’s best for a Raiders game.

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She seems more dressed for the Venice Carnival than a football game. But her outfit sports silver and black nonetheless.

56. Cincinnati has its own Captain Obvious.

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He wears a Bengals hat along with an orange and black suit. Not to mention, ushers other stadium goers to their seats at the big game.

57. To this fighter, the Cowboys are #1.

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He’s wearing a silver luchador mask. While he’s holding a Cowboys banner.

58. These Bronco fans arrive in their sombreros.

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Their sombreros are blue with orange embroidery. While their faces are blue, orange, and white as well.

59. These Panthers fans always know how to party.

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And yet they’re wearing face paint and funky hats. The guy even sports fringe.

60. Bet you’ve never seen Packers fans like these.

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One guy has a cheese hat with a green and yellow cape. The other wears a stadium hat and a cheese necklace.

61. This fan has quite the Eagle eye.

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Even wears a white wig and sports Eagle talons. Bet he doesn’t stab anyone.

62. These Saints fans are down to honest folk.

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They’re both posing in an America Gothic like scene. And both wear coveralls in black and gold stripes.

63. Batgirl expresses her love for the New Orleans Saints.

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She wears a Venice mask and sports a black and gold boa. Thinks she’s “dat girl.”

64. You don’t want to cross this die-hard fan.

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He has a foam player hat that kind of creeps me out. But perhaps it’s because the background is a night forest.

65. When you have to go to a Renaissance Festival before attending the Super Dome.

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They’re supposed to be dressed as nuns supporting the Saints. Also, one of them is a guy.

66. Want to take a ride in his Ram car?

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Seems rather old fashioned like a convertible Model T. But doesn’t have much room for comfort.

67. This fan is all about the biz.

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He’s painted himself silver with a mohawk. While his suit jacket contains the Patriots logo.

68. This Ram fan came with the horns.

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Yes, they’re ram horns. And let’s hope he doesn’t live in Saint Louis. Since the Rams screwed that city dearly.

69. This guy’s got a steel beam through his head.

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Well, he’s a Steeler fan. And the beam is golden.

70. This Seahawks girl always comes with green hair.

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And it seems she’s not happy with the game. Also wears a white, blue, and green scarf.

71. How about matching Chicago Bears hats?

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Each bear hat wears a jersey and sports claws. Still, at least these 2 match.

72. The mohawk always has to match the mustache.

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Well, this Dolphins has a blue-green and orange mohawk and a blue-green mustache. Yet, you don’t know who he is due to his reflective sunglasses.

73. These fans are all about the defense.

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Consists of blue and orange Chicago Bears, a Tampa Bay Buccaneer, a Cowboys fan in a tiger suit, and a Saints fan in whatever. Wonder what they’re doing at this event.

74. These Redskins fans come in spiked.

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These guys wear spiked shoulder pads to support their team. Hey, at least they’re not wearing warbonnets.

75. This Raiders fan comes in all spiked.

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Don’t want to sit next to him in the stadium. After all, you might get poked by one of his shoulders.

76. It’s not easy being green.

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Unless you’re a Seahawks fan apparently. As both dad and kid sport green faces and hair.

77. These New York Giants fans come in their silver jackets.

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You’d almost think the jackets come straight out of a sci-fi movie. While their jerseys are also shiny.

78. This captain shows his support for the Carolina Panthers.

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He even carries a Panther Captain American shield. While the helmet just says K.

79. This Cowboys fan is ready for action.

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He wears a blue Cowboys hat with a blue and white luchador mask. And yes, the gloves will come off.

80. Bet you’ve never seen a Cardinals fan like this before.

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He has no shirt on and paints most of his body red. Also sports a fuzzy red wig.

81. Perhaps you should come into a stadium well dressed.

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Here this Atlanta Falcons fan wears a shiny silver dress. While a red shawl covers her shoulders. Not sure what it’s made of.

82. Shiny skulls may suit any Raiders fan.

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This guy has one on each shoulder. Don’t want to sit next to him at the game.

83. You may never guess who’s under this Saints fan’s mask.

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He wears a mask and armor. Armor even has spikes.

84. Seems like glory has gone to these Seahawks fans’ heads.

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Actually they’re masks. But they do look incredibly goofy and cartoonish that you can’t take them seriously.

85. High spikes always look great on a Patriots fan.

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They’re often used to deflate footballs. But I don’t think these spikes will do the trick.

86. The New England Patriots are among the greatest American football teams.

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This guy wears an American flag painted on his chest. His face is blue with white stars. Also, most people outside New England hate the Patriots.

87. In Jacksonville, don’t forget your Jaguar head.

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This guy hasn’t though he looks pretty foolish in it. Also doesn’t seem happy about his team.

88. Even the owl roots for the New Orleans Saints.

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Well, the owl’s taxidermied. But the guy wears a military helmet and carries a bazooka with the Saints logo.

89. Supa Saint always goes for his team.

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Kind of looks like an 1980s hair band guitarist. Or one played by Ben Stiller in a comedy.

90. Are these ladies entertained?

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These women wear black-old fashioned dresses to support their Raiders. Like their masks.

91. The Beadman is quite a mysterious figure.

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But it’s no mystery that he loves his Saints. His golden mask even sports the logo.

92. This Tampa Bay Buccaneers fan arrives in half a mask.

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He also wears a tricorn hat just like a pirate would. Or rather like a pirate would in the late 17th or early 18th centuries.

93. This Kansas City Chiefs fan is clearly on fire.

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Okay, he’s not. His fake hair just looks like it’s on fire given the team colors.

94. This Raiders fan can use a feather headdress.

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The headdress is even decked with jewels. The guy wears a black and silver luchador mask.

95. Hey, that’s not a Colts’ helmet.

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Okay, he’s got body paint Colts helmet. And yes, it looks incredibly ridiculous. Seriously, why?

96. Seahawks fans come in all types.

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Some of them can be snazzy dressers. Others look incredibly freakish. But hey, it’s all for the team.

97. Maybe the lady might want to see the Raiders win.

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Indeed her mask has a veil in the back. But she has a fancy mask party to attend afterwards.

98. You can’t wear too many beads to a game.

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How many does this Ravens fan have? And do the beads weigh him down?

99. Seems like this sly elf’s gone for the Broncos.

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He’s got pointed ears, too. And yes, he seems creepy in that cowboy hat.

100. It’s a sad life for a Browns fan.

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Mostly because they typically don’t win games. Seriously, Cleveland’s team sucks.

The Adorable World of Funko POP! Vinyl Figures

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You see these figures in plenty of stores and online. Distinguished by their square oversized heads, beady eyes, and small plastic bodies, these figures have become popular as collectibles. Founded in 1998 at Snohomish, Washington, Funko has become noted for its pop culture collectibles, particularly its noted plastic figurines and bobbleheads. After all, it was originally conceived as a small project to create various low-tech, nostalgia-themed toys. Their first known bobblehead figurine was the Big Boy restaurant mascot. Although the company also makes plushies, action figures along with electronic items like USB devices, lamps, and headphones. Since its inception, Funko has created 13,642 different products in dozens of toy lines. Their most famous Pop! Vinyl line figurines are modeled in a similar Japanese deformed style which have existed since 2010. So for your reading pleasure, I’ll give you an assortment of these toys. Enjoy.

  1.  King of the North Jon Snow takes the Iron Throne.
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Except he doesn’t despite killing Daenerys. Since Drogon melts the Iron Throne shortly afterwards. While he’s sent to exile at the Wall.

2. Thor is about to rock at Ragnarok.

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Though he has a skull helmet in his hand. He’ll get a real makeover later.

3. “You want me to paint that Happy Little Tree?”

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This is Deadpool dressed up as Bob Ross. Comes with pallet and giant paintbrush.

4. Where would Colonel Sanders be without his bucket of Kentucky Fried Chicken?

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Here he is in a white suit and glasses. But stay away from the chicken since it will kill you.

5. Geoffrey the Giraffe is always a Toys R’ Us kid.

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Unfortunately for him, Toys R’ Us has declared bankruptcy and closed all its stores. Thanks to a greedy vulture capitalist entity known as a private equity firm.

6. Sirius Black cleans himself up nicely.

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Tragically, he dies in Book 5 trying to save Harry at the Department of Mysteries. Bellatrix Lestrange made sure of it.

7. Belle always keeps to herself in the village.

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This is her from the live-action version. Given that she has towels on her blue apron.

8. Michael Scott sees himself as the world’s best boss.

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Despite that Michael has no idea what’s going on at Scranton’s Dunder Mifflin office. Not to mention, he has a tendency to make a fool out of himself.

9. Queen Daenerys Targaryen takes court at Dragonstone.

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But please don’t fail her. For she’ll have her dragons burn you to ashes. Lord Varys learned the hard way, but he was right about her.

10. Thanos relishes having the Infinity Gauntlet.

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Okay, this can’t be good. Since he intends to annihilate about half of humanity.

11. You’ll have tons of fun with the Cat in the Hat.

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But make sure you clean up before your mom comes home. Since the Cat totally trashed it before he left.

12. Bob Ross will show you the joy of painting.

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Comes with a brush and palette. Ready to paint some happy little trees and show how in his soothing voice.

13. Batman has received a message from the Riddler.

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Wonder how he could read that during the night. As Gotham City is prone to colorful and psychotic supervillains. Still, Batman can do way more good for Gotham by paying his taxes.

14. Spiderman can swing from high skyscrapers.

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Here he jumps high that he has a stand. Let’s hope his webs are strong enough.

15. “Wait till my father hears about this.”

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This is Draco Malfoy as a Quidditch play for Slytherin as a seeker. Mostly because his dad bought new brooms for the team.

16. Joyce Byers fiddles with Christmas lights.

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Because she thinks she can find her son Will this way. So she uses the lights to form an alphabet.

17. Jonathan is always handy with a camera.

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Too bad his brother’s missing and his crush is seeing Steve Harrington. Don’t worry, that’s easily resolved by the end of the first season.

18. Big Boy is here to sell some burgers.

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Is that restaurant still around? Because I don’t think Big Boy restaurants still exist in my neck of the woods. Besides, I haven’t seen one in a very long time.

19. Dale Cooper just needs his cup of coffee.

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Though what goes on at Twin Peaks is at a whole other level. Say hi to the log lady for me.

20. Wonder Woman always knows how to kick ass.

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She’s an Amazon demigoddess who can dodge bullets and take on Ares. Sadly, her boyfriend Steve Trevor wasn’t so lucky.

21. Ron Weasley and Hermione Granger appear in their Yule Ball best.

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Hermione wears a gorgeous pink dress when she appears with her date, Viktor Krum. Ron wears a ghastly hand-me-down dress robe.

22. Tiana looks like a princess during the Mardi Gras party.

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Though I wouldn’t kiss that talking frog if I were her. Sure he’s a prince. But she’ll turn into a frog, too.

23. Finally, Aragorn is crowned King of Gondor.

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Yet, he takes time to reunite with Arwen and kneel down for the hobbits, particularly Frodo. You won’t see him again.

24. It’s a bird. It’s a plane. No, it’s Superman.

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However, make sure you evacuate Metropolis when he takes up with Zod. And don’t go to Smallville either. Seriously, the city was destroyed by the end of Man of Steel.

25. Ginny Weasley knows how to chase that Quaffle.

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Well, she’s mostly a chaser for the Gryffindor Quidditch team. Though she takes over as Seeker whenever Harry gets into some terrible trouble.

26. Marty McFly shows off his guitar skills in Back to the Future.

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“You may not be ready for this. But your kids are going to love it.”

27. Dustin is always eager for an adventure.

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But please, don’t keep any critter from the Upside Down as a pet. Seriously, he should know after Season 2.

28. The Beast seems to enjoy the birds outside.

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Well, he doesn’t mind holding them in his hand. Wonder why they don’t just fly off in fear.

29. Toothless is all harnessed and ready to go.

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Now he’s just waiting for Hiccup to ride him. But I wouldn’t mind if he’s messing around.

30. Harry Potter is the Boy Who Lived.

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Though note that a very dark wizard’s after since he killed his parents. Also, he’s incredibly famous in the Wizarding world.

31. Alice finds herself stuck in Wonderland.

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However, many have a tendency to see her adventure as an acid trip. Or at least inspired by one.

32. Falcon can fly in his super suit.

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He’s Captain America’s sidekick. Of course, he may not have actual super powers beyond what his suit offers.

33. Rapunzel lets down her hair.

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Though Mother Gothel won’t let her out of the tower. Since she needs her hair to retain her youth and beauty.

34. Aquaman knows how to wield a trident.

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After all, he’s the king of Atlantis. And you must see his underwater kingdom.

35. Tywin Lannister runs Westeros behind the Iron Throne.

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Unfortunately, he’s a very terrible parent, especially to Tyrion. Trying to execute him for a crime he didn’t commit would bite his ass hard. Like Tyrion shooting a crossbow while he’s on the toilet hard.

36. Russell is a trained Wilderness explorer.

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And he’ll go to great lengths to help the elderly. Even if it means ending up in South America. And whether Carl likes it or not.

37. Make way for Prince Ali.

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This is Aladdin as a prince. So he can win over Jasmine. Despite he should’ve just came to the palace as herself.

38. With President Snow, let the Hunger Games begin.

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He’s president of Panem and the main villain of The Hunger Games. And he doesn’t want any funny business. Or someone will have to die.

39. Looks like this is a job for Captain Marvel.

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And unlike Wonder Woman, she doesn’t need a skimpy outfit to save the world. Also, she can fly in space.

40. Kristoff knows how to mine the ice.

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He may not be a prince and prefers hanging out with his reindeer. But he’s a good guy who will go out of his way for Anna. Prince Hans, not so much.

41. Ghost is Jon Snow’s most trusty friend at the Wall.

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But if Jon doesn’t pet him before going to King’s Landing, he’ll never hear the end of it. Because all Ghost has done was be a good boy.

42. Agent J would like to deneuralize you.

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Comes with Frank the Pug who’s an alien, not a talking dog. Still, you won’t remember anything afterwards.

43. “Mama, just killed a man…”

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This is Freddie Mercury during his early career. And yes, he did the “Bohemian Rhapsody” video in that outfit.

44. Bran Stark holds a dagger in his wheelchair.

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Funny, how he doesn’t seem to do anything but warg. Yet somehow he ends up king.

45. Is everyone ready for Ellen DeGeneres?

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Nice how they depict her figure dancing in a white pantsuit. But no, she’ll no longer have that piece of shit Donald Trump on his show.

46. Mulan is ready to meet the matchmaker.

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And that meeting will go down horribly. Mostly due to the cricket messing up everything.

47. Mantis doesn’t always understand certain expressions.

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Yet, Drax loves her anyway. Too bad he died in Infinity War thanks to Thanos.

48. Ironman flies in his special suit.

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And yes, it has weapons. So if you see him, get out of the way.

49. “What can I say except you’re welcome…”

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Too bad Maui stole that heart from the goddess that she turned into a raging volcano. Still, get a load of his large fishhook.

50. When you’ve got a problem, you better call Saul.

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Since Saul Goodman is the only kind of lawyer sleazy enough to represent such scumbags like Walter White. Has his own spin-off series on AMC.

51. Nothing makes a better Christmas gift than “Dick in a Box.”

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Guys, please don’t do this. Seriously, it’s not going to turn out well. Still, these guys are pretty funny.

52. Peter Quill is the Star Lord.

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He wears that mask while he’s in space. Though he should’ve got the memo that he’s not entirely human by the fact he’s still alive when he gets in the space ship.

53. “The night is dark and full of terrors.”

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Though Melisandre should’ve known better than to have Stannis sacrifice his own daughter. Seriously, it’s no wonder Davos wanted her dead after that.

54. “Scuse me while I kiss the sky…”

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Jimi Hendrix was long considered the greatest guitarist rock music has ever had. Performed the national anthem at Woodstock.

55. “The Dude abides.”

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Here the Dude stands in his cardigan with a White Russian in hand. Still, I’m sure you’d want to wear his comfy clothes.

56. Loki is fulfilled by glorious purpose.

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Yet, given that Loki has a tendency to backstab whenever he sees fit, don’t trust him. Seriously, he’s a known trickster.

57. Vampire Bob delights in greeting trick-or-treaters.

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Too bad he ends up dead at a government facility. Still, he was a very nice guy.

58. Lieutenant Uhura is an exemplary communications officer.

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Though I’m not a fan of her relationship with Spock. Seriously, they weren’t a couple in original series.

59. Here’s one clown you don’t want to run into.

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The Joker is the most famous Batman villain since he’s utterly insane and a psychopath. Still, he knows how to dress.

60. Carl just wants to go to Paradise Falls.

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Well, he wanted to go there with his wife. But she died at the end of the beginning montage.

61. No one dare mess with Walter White.

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Since he’s the one who knocks. Though he also wears tidy whities.

62. Dr. Strange can do magic in another dimension.

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Though I can’t get used to Benedict Cumberbatch’s American accent. Seriously, I don’t think anyone sounds like that.

63. Princess Kate is a noted royal beauty.

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Well, she has 3 kids with Prince William. Though I wouldn’t say he’s aged very well since he’s bald.

64. Michael Corleone is up for the business.

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However, he’s surprisingly cruel to his enemies that he eventually drives the people he cares about away from him. Also, he kills his own brother.

65. Ant-Man can always change his size.

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This is him in giant mode from Ant-Man and the Wasp. Because him in small mode is just too difficult to make.

66. “Dobby is a free elf.”

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Sure Dobby might stir trouble now and then. But he’s so endearing that you can’t help but love him.

67. “What’d up, bitch?”

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This is Jesse Pinkman from Breaking Bad. He assists Walt with the meth stuff. But also has a conscience.

68. Eleven likes her Eggo waffles.

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But don’t get her mad or she’ll simply hurt you with your mind. Billy learned the hard way.

69. Flash will get it for you fast enough.

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Though you’ll have to wait a very long time at the DMV. Because he’s a sloth and moves very slow.

70. It’s time for Logan to get the claws out.

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By the way, Wolverine could basically slice and dice you if you piss him off enough. He can also heal himself. Though his luck runs out in Logan.

71. Stan Lee always insists on a cameo.

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Sad that he’s gone though. Yet, this is his figure from Guardians of the Galaxy.

72. “I’m a rocket man.”

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Here he’s in one of his more flamboyant outfits. This one is probably American flag inspired.

73. “Welcome, welcome, welcome to Last Week Tonight.”

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Here John Oliver stands to talk about the latest news and social issues we don’t often talk about. Wins Emmys and is on HBO.

74. Steve Harrington will watch your kids.

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He may be a shitty boyfriend to Nancy. But he grows up in Season 2 when he takes in those 4 boys.

75. Sheriff Hopper is on the job.

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He also takes in Eleven at around Season 2. But he dies in Season 3 right before he could get together with Joyce. So sad.

76. Hope that Harley Quinn doesn’t strike.

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Still, her relationship with the Joker isn’t one of romance. In fact, it’s more on the lines of domestic abuse.

77. Chewbacca is always there to lend a hand.

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Though please don’t piss him off while playing board games. Best to let the wookie win. Still, his crossbow is awesome.

78. Make way for the queen.

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She’s dressed in one of her brightly colored outfits. Yet, she must make sure her hat matches everything else.

79. Muhammad Ali flies like a butterfly and stings like a bee.

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But object to serving in Vietnam over Muslim faith and he gets stripped of his title. While Cheeto Fascist fakes bones spurs and becomes president.

80. Khal Drogo is a fearless badass.

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Too bad he dies from an infected boo boo. Wonder why that doesn’t happen more often in Game of Thrones.

81. Gamora is here to save the day.

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She basically saves everyone’s ass in Guardians of the Galaxy. Too bad she dies in Infinity War.

82. Maleficent is the Mistress of All Evil.

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She’s kind of woman who’d lash out for not being invited to a christening. Can also turn into a dragon.

83. “Can you paint with all the colors of the wind?…”

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Sadly, the real Pocahontas’ life was incredibly sad after meeting John Smith. Since she got kidnapped and raped. Before she married John Rolfe, went to England, and died of smallpox at 21.

84. Moana is a wayfarer through and through.

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She comes with her little pet pig Pua. Shame she left the little guy behind and the useless rooster stowed away.

85. Mad Max is great in the arcade.

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However, her brother’s not so nice. This is especially after the Upside Down got to him.

86. Betty Boop can dance her nights away.

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She’s a cartoon character from the 1930s. Comes with her dog, Pudgy.

87. Mera has spent her long days under the sea.

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But unlike Ariel, she hooks up with a guy she hardly knows because she doesn’t want to marry his brother. Even though she has every excuse to leave everything she’s known.

88. You don’t want to mess with the Winter Soldier.

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He’s Bucky Barnes who’s Captain America’s best friend from World War II. God, you don’t want to know what HYDRA did to him.

89. Sabrina Spellman isn’t your ordinary witch.

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Comes with her cat, Salem. Nonetheless, Sabrina’s powers can get out of hand even in the Netflix series.

90. Mowgli has always lived in the jungle.

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However, being a feral child doesn’t make him equipped with living in civilization. Perhaps he’s better off with the animals.

91. All hail Queen Elsa of Arendale.

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Please, Princess Anna, don’t get engaged to a prince so fast. Because Elsa will erupt and plunge the kingdom into eternal winter.

92. Tyrion Lannister has had enough with his dad.

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So he’s going to kill him with a crossbow. And yes Tywin will be on the toilet by then.

93. Boromir will fight to the death.

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I’m sure he’s basically a pincushion in the back. Though he’s right that one does not simply walk into Mordor…

94. Weird Al Yankovic’s songs are always better than the originals.

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Comes with his own accordion. Still, many of his parodies have stood the test of time.

95. Perhaps you’d want these 3 Ewoks.

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Sure they may eat you. But if you’re a golden robot, they’ll worship you as a god and spare you and your friends. Hell, they may even join in the fight.

96. “Phenomenal cosmic powers. Itty-bitty tiny living space.”

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The Genie can only grant you 3 wishes. And even then, he has restrictions. RIP Robin Williams.

97. “School’s out for summer.”

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Yes, Alice Cooper is in an outlandish costume and everything. But he knows how to rock in a top hat and pimp cane.

98. People can’t get enough of baby Groot.

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Got to love him dance in flower pot to the Jackson 5. So cute.

99. Black Panther will always protect Wakanda.

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T’challa is king of Wakanda one of the most technologically advanced countries in Africa and the world. And he’s got a lot of strong women behind him.

100. Would you trust this guy with your money?

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Actually, to hell with the 1%. Mr. Monopoly and his friends need to pay their taxes and their employees a living wage and benefits.