The Adorable World of Funko POP! Vinyl Figures

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You see these figures in plenty of stores and online. Distinguished by their square oversized heads, beady eyes, and small plastic bodies, these figures have become popular as collectibles. Founded in 1998 at Snohomish, Washington, Funko has become noted for its pop culture collectibles, particularly its noted plastic figurines and bobbleheads. After all, it was originally conceived as a small project to create various low-tech, nostalgia-themed toys. Their first known bobblehead figurine was the Big Boy restaurant mascot. Although the company also makes plushies, action figures along with electronic items like USB devices, lamps, and headphones. Since its inception, Funko has created 13,642 different products in dozens of toy lines. Their most famous Pop! Vinyl line figurines are modeled in a similar Japanese deformed style which have existed since 2010. So for your reading pleasure, I’ll give you an assortment of these toys. Enjoy.

  1.  King of the North Jon Snow takes the Iron Throne.
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Except he doesn’t despite killing Daenerys. Since Drogon melts the Iron Throne shortly afterwards. While he’s sent to exile at the Wall.

2. Thor is about to rock at Ragnarok.

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Though he has a skull helmet in his hand. He’ll get a real makeover later.

3. “You want me to paint that Happy Little Tree?”

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This is Deadpool dressed up as Bob Ross. Comes with pallet and giant paintbrush.

4. Where would Colonel Sanders be without his bucket of Kentucky Fried Chicken?

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Here he is in a white suit and glasses. But stay away from the chicken since it will kill you.

5. Geoffrey the Giraffe is always a Toys R’ Us kid.

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Unfortunately for him, Toys R’ Us has declared bankruptcy and closed all its stores. Thanks to a greedy vulture capitalist entity known as a private equity firm.

6. Sirius Black cleans himself up nicely.

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Tragically, he dies in Book 5 trying to save Harry at the Department of Mysteries. Bellatrix Lestrange made sure of it.

7. Belle always keeps to herself in the village.

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This is her from the live-action version. Given that she has towels on her blue apron.

8. Michael Scott sees himself as the world’s best boss.

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Despite that Michael has no idea what’s going on at Scranton’s Dunder Mifflin office. Not to mention, he has a tendency to make a fool out of himself.

9. Queen Daenerys Targaryen takes court at Dragonstone.

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But please don’t fail her. For she’ll have her dragons burn you to ashes. Lord Varys learned the hard way, but he was right about her.

10. Thanos relishes having the Infinity Gauntlet.

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Okay, this can’t be good. Since he intends to annihilate about half of humanity.

11. You’ll have tons of fun with the Cat in the Hat.

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But make sure you clean up before your mom comes home. Since the Cat totally trashed it before he left.

12. Bob Ross will show you the joy of painting.

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Comes with a brush and palette. Ready to paint some happy little trees and show how in his soothing voice.

13. Batman has received a message from the Riddler.

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Wonder how he could read that during the night. As Gotham City is prone to colorful and psychotic supervillains. Still, Batman can do way more good for Gotham by paying his taxes.

14. Spiderman can swing from high skyscrapers.

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Here he jumps high that he has a stand. Let’s hope his webs are strong enough.

15. “Wait till my father hears about this.”

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This is Draco Malfoy as a Quidditch play for Slytherin as a seeker. Mostly because his dad bought new brooms for the team.

16. Joyce Byers fiddles with Christmas lights.

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Because she thinks she can find her son Will this way. So she uses the lights to form an alphabet.

17. Jonathan is always handy with a camera.

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Too bad his brother’s missing and his crush is seeing Steve Harrington. Don’t worry, that’s easily resolved by the end of the first season.

18. Big Boy is here to sell some burgers.

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Is that restaurant still around? Because I don’t think Big Boy restaurants still exist in my neck of the woods. Besides, I haven’t seen one in a very long time.

19. Dale Cooper just needs his cup of coffee.

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Though what goes on at Twin Peaks is at a whole other level. Say hi to the log lady for me.

20. Wonder Woman always knows how to kick ass.

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She’s an Amazon demigoddess who can dodge bullets and take on Ares. Sadly, her boyfriend Steve Trevor wasn’t so lucky.

21. Ron Weasley and Hermione Granger appear in their Yule Ball best.

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Hermione wears a gorgeous pink dress when she appears with her date, Viktor Krum. Ron wears a ghastly hand-me-down dress robe.

22. Tiana looks like a princess during the Mardi Gras party.

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Though I wouldn’t kiss that talking frog if I were her. Sure he’s a prince. But she’ll turn into a frog, too.

23. Finally, Aragorn is crowned King of Gondor.

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Yet, he takes time to reunite with Arwen and kneel down for the hobbits, particularly Frodo. You won’t see him again.

24. It’s a bird. It’s a plane. No, it’s Superman.

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However, make sure you evacuate Metropolis when he takes up with Zod. And don’t go to Smallville either. Seriously, the city was destroyed by the end of Man of Steel.

25. Ginny Weasley knows how to chase that Quaffle.

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Well, she’s mostly a chaser for the Gryffindor Quidditch team. Though she takes over as Seeker whenever Harry gets into some terrible trouble.

26. Marty McFly shows off his guitar skills in Back to the Future.

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“You may not be ready for this. But your kids are going to love it.”

27. Dustin is always eager for an adventure.

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But please, don’t keep any critter from the Upside Down as a pet. Seriously, he should know after Season 2.

28. The Beast seems to enjoy the birds outside.

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Well, he doesn’t mind holding them in his hand. Wonder why they don’t just fly off in fear.

29. Toothless is all harnessed and ready to go.

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Now he’s just waiting for Hiccup to ride him. But I wouldn’t mind if he’s messing around.

30. Harry Potter is the Boy Who Lived.

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Though note that a very dark wizard’s after since he killed his parents. Also, he’s incredibly famous in the Wizarding world.

31. Alice finds herself stuck in Wonderland.

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However, many have a tendency to see her adventure as an acid trip. Or at least inspired by one.

32. Falcon can fly in his super suit.

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He’s Captain America’s sidekick. Of course, he may not have actual super powers beyond what his suit offers.

33. Rapunzel lets down her hair.

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Though Mother Gothel won’t let her out of the tower. Since she needs her hair to retain her youth and beauty.

34. Aquaman knows how to wield a trident.

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After all, he’s the king of Atlantis. And you must see his underwater kingdom.

35. Tywin Lannister runs Westeros behind the Iron Throne.

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Unfortunately, he’s a very terrible parent, especially to Tyrion. Trying to execute him for a crime he didn’t commit would bite his ass hard. Like Tyrion shooting a crossbow while he’s on the toilet hard.

36. Russell is a trained Wilderness explorer.

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And he’ll go to great lengths to help the elderly. Even if it means ending up in South America. And whether Carl likes it or not.

37. Make way for Prince Ali.

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This is Aladdin as a prince. So he can win over Jasmine. Despite he should’ve just came to the palace as herself.

38. With President Snow, let the Hunger Games begin.

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He’s president of Panem and the main villain of The Hunger Games. And he doesn’t want any funny business. Or someone will have to die.

39. Looks like this is a job for Captain Marvel.

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And unlike Wonder Woman, she doesn’t need a skimpy outfit to save the world. Also, she can fly in space.

40. Kristoff knows how to mine the ice.

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He may not be a prince and prefers hanging out with his reindeer. But he’s a good guy who will go out of his way for Anna. Prince Hans, not so much.

41. Ghost is Jon Snow’s most trusty friend at the Wall.

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But if Jon doesn’t pet him before going to King’s Landing, he’ll never hear the end of it. Because all Ghost has done was be a good boy.

42. Agent J would like to deneuralize you.

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Comes with Frank the Pug who’s an alien, not a talking dog. Still, you won’t remember anything afterwards.

43. “Mama, just killed a man…”

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This is Freddie Mercury during his early career. And yes, he did the “Bohemian Rhapsody” video in that outfit.

44. Bran Stark holds a dagger in his wheelchair.

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Funny, how he doesn’t seem to do anything but warg. Yet somehow he ends up king.

45. Is everyone ready for Ellen DeGeneres?

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Nice how they depict her figure dancing in a white pantsuit. But no, she’ll no longer have that piece of shit Donald Trump on his show.

46. Mulan is ready to meet the matchmaker.

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And that meeting will go down horribly. Mostly due to the cricket messing up everything.

47. Mantis doesn’t always understand certain expressions.

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Yet, Drax loves her anyway. Too bad he died in Infinity War thanks to Thanos.

48. Ironman flies in his special suit.

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And yes, it has weapons. So if you see him, get out of the way.

49. “What can I say except you’re welcome…”

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Too bad Maui stole that heart from the goddess that she turned into a raging volcano. Still, get a load of his large fishhook.

50. When you’ve got a problem, you better call Saul.

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Since Saul Goodman is the only kind of lawyer sleazy enough to represent such scumbags like Walter White. Has his own spin-off series on AMC.

51. Nothing makes a better Christmas gift than “Dick in a Box.”

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Guys, please don’t do this. Seriously, it’s not going to turn out well. Still, these guys are pretty funny.

52. Peter Quill is the Star Lord.

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He wears that mask while he’s in space. Though he should’ve got the memo that he’s not entirely human by the fact he’s still alive when he gets in the space ship.

53. “The night is dark and full of terrors.”

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Though Melisandre should’ve known better than to have Stannis sacrifice his own daughter. Seriously, it’s no wonder Davos wanted her dead after that.

54. “Scuse me while I kiss the sky…”

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Jimi Hendrix was long considered the greatest guitarist rock music has ever had. Performed the national anthem at Woodstock.

55. “The Dude abides.”

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Here the Dude stands in his cardigan with a White Russian in hand. Still, I’m sure you’d want to wear his comfy clothes.

56. Loki is fulfilled by glorious purpose.

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Yet, given that Loki has a tendency to backstab whenever he sees fit, don’t trust him. Seriously, he’s a known trickster.

57. Vampire Bob delights in greeting trick-or-treaters.

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Too bad he ends up dead at a government facility. Still, he was a very nice guy.

58. Lieutenant Uhura is an exemplary communications officer.

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Though I’m not a fan of her relationship with Spock. Seriously, they weren’t a couple in original series.

59. Here’s one clown you don’t want to run into.

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The Joker is the most famous Batman villain since he’s utterly insane and a psychopath. Still, he knows how to dress.

60. Carl just wants to go to Paradise Falls.

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Well, he wanted to go there with his wife. But she died at the end of the beginning montage.

61. No one dare mess with Walter White.

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Since he’s the one who knocks. Though he also wears tidy whities.

62. Dr. Strange can do magic in another dimension.

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Though I can’t get used to Benedict Cumberbatch’s American accent. Seriously, I don’t think anyone sounds like that.

63. Princess Kate is a noted royal beauty.

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Well, she has 3 kids with Prince William. Though I wouldn’t say he’s aged very well since he’s bald.

64. Michael Corleone is up for the business.

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However, he’s surprisingly cruel to his enemies that he eventually drives the people he cares about away from him. Also, he kills his own brother.

65. Ant-Man can always change his size.

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This is him in giant mode from Ant-Man and the Wasp. Because him in small mode is just too difficult to make.

66. “Dobby is a free elf.”

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Sure Dobby might stir trouble now and then. But he’s so endearing that you can’t help but love him.

67. “What’d up, bitch?”

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This is Jesse Pinkman from Breaking Bad. He assists Walt with the meth stuff. But also has a conscience.

68. Eleven likes her Eggo waffles.

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But don’t get her mad or she’ll simply hurt you with your mind. Billy learned the hard way.

69. Flash will get it for you fast enough.

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Though you’ll have to wait a very long time at the DMV. Because he’s a sloth and moves very slow.

70. It’s time for Logan to get the claws out.

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By the way, Wolverine could basically slice and dice you if you piss him off enough. He can also heal himself. Though his luck runs out in Logan.

71. Stan Lee always insists on a cameo.

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Sad that he’s gone though. Yet, this is his figure from Guardians of the Galaxy.

72. “I’m a rocket man.”

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Here he’s in one of his more flamboyant outfits. This one is probably American flag inspired.

73. “Welcome, welcome, welcome to Last Week Tonight.”

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Here John Oliver stands to talk about the latest news and social issues we don’t often talk about. Wins Emmys and is on HBO.

74. Steve Harrington will watch your kids.

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He may be a shitty boyfriend to Nancy. But he grows up in Season 2 when he takes in those 4 boys.

75. Sheriff Hopper is on the job.

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He also takes in Eleven at around Season 2. But he dies in Season 3 right before he could get together with Joyce. So sad.

76. Hope that Harley Quinn doesn’t strike.

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Still, her relationship with the Joker isn’t one of romance. In fact, it’s more on the lines of domestic abuse.

77. Chewbacca is always there to lend a hand.

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Though please don’t piss him off while playing board games. Best to let the wookie win. Still, his crossbow is awesome.

78. Make way for the queen.

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She’s dressed in one of her brightly colored outfits. Yet, she must make sure her hat matches everything else.

79. Muhammad Ali flies like a butterfly and stings like a bee.

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But object to serving in Vietnam over Muslim faith and he gets stripped of his title. While Cheeto Fascist fakes bones spurs and becomes president.

80. Khal Drogo is a fearless badass.

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Too bad he dies from an infected boo boo. Wonder why that doesn’t happen more often in Game of Thrones.

81. Gamora is here to save the day.

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She basically saves everyone’s ass in Guardians of the Galaxy. Too bad she dies in Infinity War.

82. Maleficent is the Mistress of All Evil.

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She’s kind of woman who’d lash out for not being invited to a christening. Can also turn into a dragon.

83. “Can you paint with all the colors of the wind?…”

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Sadly, the real Pocahontas’ life was incredibly sad after meeting John Smith. Since she got kidnapped and raped. Before she married John Rolfe, went to England, and died of smallpox at 21.

84. Moana is a wayfarer through and through.

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She comes with her little pet pig Pua. Shame she left the little guy behind and the useless rooster stowed away.

85. Mad Max is great in the arcade.

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However, her brother’s not so nice. This is especially after the Upside Down got to him.

86. Betty Boop can dance her nights away.

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She’s a cartoon character from the 1930s. Comes with her dog, Pudgy.

87. Mera has spent her long days under the sea.

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But unlike Ariel, she hooks up with a guy she hardly knows because she doesn’t want to marry his brother. Even though she has every excuse to leave everything she’s known.

88. You don’t want to mess with the Winter Soldier.

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He’s Bucky Barnes who’s Captain America’s best friend from World War II. God, you don’t want to know what HYDRA did to him.

89. Sabrina Spellman isn’t your ordinary witch.

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Comes with her cat, Salem. Nonetheless, Sabrina’s powers can get out of hand even in the Netflix series.

90. Mowgli has always lived in the jungle.

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However, being a feral child doesn’t make him equipped with living in civilization. Perhaps he’s better off with the animals.

91. All hail Queen Elsa of Arendale.

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Please, Princess Anna, don’t get engaged to a prince so fast. Because Elsa will erupt and plunge the kingdom into eternal winter.

92. Tyrion Lannister has had enough with his dad.

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So he’s going to kill him with a crossbow. And yes Tywin will be on the toilet by then.

93. Boromir will fight to the death.

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I’m sure he’s basically a pincushion in the back. Though he’s right that one does not simply walk into Mordor…

94. Weird Al Yankovic’s songs are always better than the originals.

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Comes with his own accordion. Still, many of his parodies have stood the test of time.

95. Perhaps you’d want these 3 Ewoks.

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Sure they may eat you. But if you’re a golden robot, they’ll worship you as a god and spare you and your friends. Hell, they may even join in the fight.

96. “Phenomenal cosmic powers. Itty-bitty tiny living space.”

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The Genie can only grant you 3 wishes. And even then, he has restrictions. RIP Robin Williams.

97. “School’s out for summer.”

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Yes, Alice Cooper is in an outlandish costume and everything. But he knows how to rock in a top hat and pimp cane.

98. People can’t get enough of baby Groot.

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Got to love him dance in flower pot to the Jackson 5. So cute.

99. Black Panther will always protect Wakanda.

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T’challa is king of Wakanda one of the most technologically advanced countries in Africa and the world. And he’s got a lot of strong women behind him.

100. Would you trust this guy with your money?

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Actually, to hell with the 1%. Mr. Monopoly and his friends need to pay their taxes and their employees a living wage and benefits.

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The Nesting World of Matryoshka Dolls

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One of the more popular dolls around the world are Russian matryoshka dolls which is a set of wooden dolls that have one doll inside another and so on and so forth. The name “matryoshka” meaning “little matron” and is a diminutive form of the Russian girls’ name  “Matryona” or “Matriosha.” Outside Russia, these are known as nesting dolls. Anyway, the original nesting doll set was carved in 1890 by Vasily Petrovich Zvyozdochkin and designed by folk crafts painter Sergey Vasilyevich Malyutin in Abramstevo. These men were inspired by a doll from Japan’s Honsu which may have been a hollow daruma doll of a Buddhist monk or a Seven Lucky Gods nesting doll. So it’s possible the popular doll sets associated with Russian arts and crafts could’ve had roots in Japan.Traditionally, the outer layer is a woman in Russian peasant garb but the figures inside can be of either gender. The smallest, innermost doll is usually a baby carved from a single piece of wood. A lot of the artistry is used in the painting of each doll which can be very elaborate. And each nesting doll set often follows a theme which can range from fairy tale characters, holiday decorations, and even Soviet leaders. For instance, my family has a nesting doll set of nutcrackers they sometimes use for Christmas. Today you can see nesting dolls covering just about anything which part of why I’m doing this post. There are even nesting doll sets from craft stores you can paint yourself. So for your reading pleasure, enjoy these unique Russian nesting doll sets.

  1. With these Devo nesting dolls, you must whip it, whip it good.
This 1980s band was best recognized by their trademark hats. So doing a nesting doll set of the lineup wasn't difficult.

This 1980s band was best recognized by their trademark hats. So doing a nesting doll set of the lineup wasn’t difficult.

2. Let yourself go with these nesting dolls from Frozen.

This set has Elsa, Anna, Kristoph, Hands, and Olaf in descending order. And each is well painted.

This set has Elsa, Anna, Kristoph, Hands, and Olaf in descending order. And each is well painted.

3. This nesting doll set is particularly presidential.

This one just has the presidential hits. Why FDR, Harry Truman, Teddy Roosevelt, James Madison, LBJ, and Richard Nixon weren't included, I have no idea.

This one just has the presidential hits. Why FDR, Teddy Roosevelt, James Madison, LBJ, or Richard Nixon weren’t included, I have no idea. Also, Ben Franklin wasn’t a president.

4. Henry VIII and his six wives always make for a great set of 7.

Henry VIII is the biggest while each wife is depicted in descending order. Sorry if Anne Bolelyn and Katherine Howard don't come with detachable heads.

Henry VIII is the biggest while each wife is depicted in descending order. Sorry if Anne Boleyn and Katherine Howard don’t come with detachable heads.

5. Mexicans who celebrate Dia de los Muertos can’t do without this nesting doll set.

Each one is depicted as skulls as specified. Make great decorations on any Mexican shelf.

Each one is depicted as skulls as specified. Make great decorations on any Mexican shelf.

6. This nesting doll set pays tribute to Charlie Chaplin as the Little Tramp.

Of course, one doll depicts him as he normally looked like. But as an old movie buff, I find this set awesome.

Of course, one doll depicts him as he normally looked like. But as an old movie buff, I find this set awesome.

7. If you like horror comedy, this Addams family nesting doll set is a delight.

Sure it doesn't include Lurch and Uncle Fester. But it does consist of Gomez, Morticia, and their kids.

Sure it doesn’t include Lurch and Uncle Fester. But it does consist of Gomez, Morticia, and their kids.

8. This nesting doll set was made for cat fanciers in mind.

A must have for the crazy cat ladies of lore. A set of 5 cat breeds.

A must have for the crazy cat ladies of lore. A set of 5 cat breeds.

9. Seems like we have a US and Russian crew on this space shuttle.

Yes, it's a crew of 4. But the largest doll is a shuttle. How cool is that?

Yes, it’s a crew of 4. But the largest doll is a shuttle. How cool is that?

10. From the world of Roald Dahl, no one can resist this Charlie and the Chocolate Factory set.

Includes Willy Wonka, Charlie, the 4 brats, and an Oompah-Loompah. Great for inducing nightmares from children.

Includes Willy Wonka, Charlie, the 4 brats, and an Oompah-Loompah. Great for inducing nightmares from children.

11. A set of Sesame Street nesting dolls is all you need to learn your ABCs.

However, I think Big Bird should be the biggest doll, not Elmo. Also, Bert and Ernie should be shown together. But whoever made this wanted to use different colors. Cookie Monster should be bigger as well.

However, I think Big Bird should be the biggest doll, not Elmo. Also, Bert and Ernie should be shown together. But whoever made this wanted to use different colors. Cookie Monster should be bigger as well.

12. On the child unfriendly side, there’s a nesting doll set from South Park.

This one depicts the main boys as well as Mr. Poop. Please don't ask.

This one depicts the main boys as well as Mr. Poop. Please don’t ask.

13. Minion fans will enjoy a nesting doll set like these.

Well, to be fair, minions aren't hard to paint since they're mostly yellow. Still, these are adorable.

Well, to be fair, minions aren’t hard to paint since they’re mostly yellow. Still, these are adorable.

14. Nesting doll fans should take a look at these painted owls.

Each owl is painted in a rather stylized fashion. But each is special in its own way. Then again, owl nesting dolls are probably not hard.

Each owl is painted in a rather stylized fashion. But each is special in its own way. Then again, owl nesting dolls are probably not hard.

15. The theme of this nesting doll set is a costumed cat family.

Each of them seem to be in Renaissance costume. I think this is based off an artist who does cat paintings.

Each of them seem to be in Renaissance costume. I think this is based off an artist who does anthropomorphic cat paintings.

16. These nesting dolls are afraid of no ghost.

Kind of bummed they don't have the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man in this Ghostbusters line up. Well, you can't win them all.

Kind of bummed they don’t have the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man in this Ghostbusters line up. Well, you can’t win them all.

17. These ninja nesting will make you never see what’s coming.

After all, you don't expect them to wear outfits in 5 different colors. Or be so adorable. Love it.

After all, you don’t expect them to wear outfits in 5 different colors. Or be so adorable. Love it.

18. Civil War buffs would appreciate this nesting doll set of Union generals.

However, I'd take out George B. McClellan and Irving McDowell because one lost the Second Battle of Bull Run while the other was a perpetual chickenshit. Replace with Philip Sheridan and George H. Thomas. Or David Farragut.

However, I’d take out George B. McClellan and Irving McDowell because one lost the Second Battle of Bull Run while the other was a perpetual chickenshit. Replace with Philip Sheridan and George H. Thomas. Or David Farragut.

19. This Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle set will make you say, “Cowabunga!”

Has the 4 Ninja Turtles and their mentor. Yes, Ninja Turtle fans, this set exists.

Has the 4 Ninja Turtles and their mentor. Yes, Ninja Turtle fans, this set exists.

20. Teachers will surely appreciate a nesting doll set like this on their desks.

Each teacher has a tool to teach with in this set of 5. Not sure if they have one for guys. Probably not.

Each teacher has a tool to teach with in this set of 5. Not sure if they have one for guys. Probably not.

21. Florida Gators fans will enjoy this nesting doll set.

Yes, they have college sports ones as well as professional. Not sure who the players are under the helmets. Not that I care.

Yes, they have college sports ones as well as professional. Not sure who the players are under the helmets. Not that I care.

22. This owl set will surely be a hoot.

Yes, this is another owl nesting doll set. But these are painted more realistically. And I'm sure they're not from North America.

Yes, this is another owl nesting doll set. But these are painted more realistically. And I’m sure they’re not from North America.

23. What better way to honor Team USA during the Sochi Winter Olympics than with this nesting doll set?

I would've went with the Russian Rio set. But I found the wood on those dolls tested positive for performance enhancing drugs.

I would’ve went with the Russian Rio set. But I found the wood on those dolls tested positive for performance enhancing drugs.

24. These firefighter nesting dolls are always to the rescue.

The large one even has its own hat. One even depicts a fireman trying to rescue someone from a building.

The large one even has its own hat. One even depicts a fireman in action. Includes dalmatian and fire hydrant.

25. If you’re Jewish, Russian, and like Marc Chagall, this set is for you.

Marc Chagall was a famous modernist artist who worked with several artistic styles in several artistic mediums. Part of his art was based on Eastern European Jewish folk culture.

Marc Chagall was a famous modernist artist who worked with several artistic styles in several artistic mediums. Part of his art was based on Eastern European Jewish folk culture.

26. Since there are so many lighthouses, there has to be a nesting doll set for them.

Noticed how the lighthouses are in different colors and styles. I guess the stripes seem to increase their visibility.

Noticed how the lighthouses are in different colors and styles. I guess the stripes seem to increase their visibility.

27. This nativity nesting doll set is perfect for Christmas at any home.

There are a lot of nativity scene nesting doll sets out there. This one was made for small children. So cute.

There are a lot of nativity scene nesting doll sets out there. This one was made for small children. So cute.

28. Nurses will appreciate this nesting doll set.

Notice how each nurse is dressed in a different way. And how each one of them handles different things.

Notice how each nurse is dressed in a different way. And how each one of them handles different things.

29. Fans of Greek mythology will totally want this set of nesting dolls.

This mostly consist of mythological creatures. Not sure who or what that guy in the loin cloth is supposed to be.

This mostly consist of mythological creatures. Not sure who or what that guy in the loin cloth is supposed to be.

30. This snowman family is all smiles in winter.

Guess this one isn't hard to make. Still, I bet they're all singing Christmas carols since two of them are holding books.

Guess this one isn’t hard to make. Still, I bet they’re all singing Christmas carols since two of them are holding books.

31. No nesting doll can be complete without a set of the King.

I may not be a fan of Elvis. But I know that many readers will appreciate these dolls. Doesn't include his Vegas years.

I may not be a fan of Elvis. But I know that many readers will appreciate these dolls. Doesn’t include his Vegas years.

32. For fairy tale sets, this Little Red Riding Hood one is worth howling over.

Includes all the known characters. However, what most people don't know is that this children's story originally didn't have a happy ending. And it had sexual connotations.

Includes all the known characters. However, what most people don’t know is that this children’s story originally didn’t have a happy ending. And it had sexual connotations.

33. This horror nesting doll set will give you a good scare.

These seem like extras from The Nightmare Before Christmas. But I'll allow it. Great for those who love a good scare.

These seem like extras from The Nightmare Before Christmas. But I’ll allow it. Great for those who love a good scare.

34. Not to be outdone, the Confederate side has nesting doll generals of their own.

I suppose James Longstreet is the smallest one because he became a Republican and civil rights advocate after the war. Not to mention, he didn't think the South could win and was right.

I suppose James Longstreet is the smallest one because he became a Republican and civil rights advocate after the war. Not to mention, he didn’t think the South could win and was right.

35. This Happy Hoots nesting doll family will make you smile.

Yes, this is my third owl nesting doll set. But these have different colors on them. So I couldn't pass it up.

Yes, this is my third owl nesting doll set. But these have different colors on them. So I couldn’t pass it up.

36. Speaking of nesting dolls, these chickens are only fitting.

Comes with one rooster, 3 hens, and a chick. Great for down on the farm.

Comes with one rooster, 3 hens, and a chick. Great for down on the farm.

37. For dogs like these, it’s up to them to destroy the One Collar to rule them all.

This nesting doll set depicts dogs as Lord of the Rings characters. I know it's crazy, right?

This nesting doll set depicts dogs as Lord of the Rings characters. I know it’s crazy, right?

38. If you don’t like Ninja Turtles, a regular turtle set would do just fine.

Because while real turtles aren't fit to be ninjas, they can be quite cool. Each one here has a unique shell.

Because while real turtles aren’t fit to be ninjas, they can be quite cool. Each one here has a unique shell.

39. For Queen fans, this nesting set will rock you.

Depicts each member of Queen and their logo. There are lots of songs from this group that get stuck in your head.

Depicts each member of Queen and their logo. There are lots of songs from this group that get stuck in your head.

40. Those who grew up loving The Wizard of Oz will enjoy this set of nesting dolls.

Includes Dorothy, Toto, the Scarecrow, Tin Man, and Cowardly Lion. I know it's not the best but it's the least scary rendition.

Includes Dorothy, Toto, the Scarecrow, Tin Man, and Cowardly Lion. I know it’s not the best but it’s the least scary rendition.

41. This Pink Floyd nesting doll set belongs on the dark side of the moon.

Wait, that group had 5 members. Why does this set depict 4? Maybe because Syd Barrett left the group early.

Wait, that group had 5 members. Why does this set depict 4? Maybe because Syd Barrett left the group early.

42. While some nesting doll sets are nativity scenes, this one depicts the life of Christ.

You have a lot of these sets, too. Usually they start at the nativity. This one depicts some of Jesus's miracles and the Good Samaritan.

You have a lot of these sets, too. Usually they start at the nativity. This one depicts some of Jesus’s miracles and the Good Samaritan.

43. You have to have a hard heart not to appreciate this nesting doll set of woodland creatures.

Well, one of them is a chick while 2 are insects. But the others are a fox, rabbit, and owl. Probably made for kids.

Well, one of them is a chick while 2 are insects. But the others are a fox, rabbit, and owl. Probably made for kids.

44. A Van Gogh nesting doll set is great for anyone with a lust for life.

Shows Van Gogh's self-portrait with 4 of his best known paintings. All of which didn't earn him a dime.

Shows Van Gogh’s self-portrait with 4 of his best known paintings. All of which didn’t earn him a dime.

45. For Will and Kate’s wedding, these nesting dolls are best desired.

Consists of Will and Kate, Elizabeth II and Philip, Charles, Diana, and Harry. All in a red background.

Consists of Will and Kate, Elizabeth II and Philip, Charles, Diana, and Harry. All in a red background.

46. Since nesting dolls are from Russia, it’s only fair I present you a set of modern Russian leaders.

Soviet and otherwise to get my drift, starting with Lenin. But Putin is included.

Soviet and otherwise to get my drift, starting with Lenin. But Putin is included.

47. This nesting doll set of Goldilocks and the Three Bears is just right.

Like how they made all the bears bigger than Goldilocks. She really should've known not to break into a bear home.

Like how they made all the bears bigger than Goldilocks. She really should’ve known not to break into a bear home.

48. From New Zealand, is this set of Maori nesting dolls.

The Maori are the indigenous people of New Zealand who do exist (unlike Hobbits). They're known for their striped grass skirts.

The Maori are the indigenous people of New Zealand who do exist (unlike Hobbits). They’re known for their striped grass skirts.

49. Fans of Wes Anderson will adore this nesting doll set of the Grand Budapest Hotel.

Depicts characters from the hit Wes Anderson movie that should've won the Oscar for Best Picture. Still, this is great.

Depicts characters from the hit Wes Anderson movie that should’ve won the Oscar for Best Picture. Still, this is great.

50. No, I don’t think this is a set of ninja nesting dolls.

These are nesting dolls of Muslim women in the Middle East. Well, at least ones wearing a chador that only shows the eyes.

These are nesting dolls of Muslim women in the Middle East. Well, at least ones wearing a chador that only shows the eyes.

51. Russian nesting doll beauties always look great in furs.

Well, they seemed to dress quite fancy. But Russian winters can be quite brutally cold.

Well, they seemed to dress quite fancy. But Russian winters can be quite brutally cold.

52. These painted women nesting dolls seem as immortal on wood as they are on canvas.

I guess these are from Renaissance paintings since they depict the Virgin Mary. Not to mention, a bunch of women dressed from the 16th century.

I guess these are from Renaissance paintings since they depict the Virgin Mary. Not to mention, a bunch of women dressed from the 16th century.

53. As with nesting dolls, burlesque involves multiple layers.

As you can see how each succeeding doll has less and less clothes on. The last one is totally nude.

As you can see how each succeeding doll has less and less clothes on. The last one is totally nude.

54. No one can resist this panda bear nesting doll family.

I don't think pandas live in groups like that for they're solitary creatures. But this set is adorable.

I don’t think pandas live in groups like that for they’re solitary creatures. But this set is adorable.

55. This Obama First Family nesting doll set is sincerely presidential.

Let's just say I'll miss this bunch after Obama is out of office. This is especially if Mr. Hamsterhair gets elected president which I think will be a nightmare.

Let’s just say I’ll miss this bunch after Obama is out of office. This is especially if Mr. Hamsterhair gets elected president which I think will be an absolute nightmare.

56. This nesting doll set is among the best from the Hundred Acre Wood.

Includes Winnie the Pooh, Tigger, Eeyore, Rabbit, and Piglet. Not sure if the Eeyore one had a great paint job.

Includes Winnie the Pooh, Tigger, Eeyore, Owl, and Piglet. Not sure if the Eeyore one had a great paint job.

57. These dog nesting dolls seem all ready for a feast.

Seems like they are. Each seems to have their own dish according to breed. Viewers will adore this.

Seems like they are. Each seems to have their own dish according to breed. Viewers will adore this.

58. This dog nesting doll set is even loved by man’s best friend.

A lot of dog nesting doll sets seem to show single breeds. This one doesn't which is why I put it on this post.

A lot of dog nesting doll sets seem to show single breeds. This one doesn’t which is why I put it on this post.

59. The Dark Knight of Gotham always needs his own nesting doll set.

This set is from the Dark Knight Saga. Features Bane, Catwoman, and the Joker.

This set is from the Dark Knight Saga. Features Bane, Catwoman, and the Joker.

60. If you like Russian fairy tales, these nesting dolls are just the thing.

Since nesting dolls are from Russia, it's only fair. The large one has the gorgeous Firebird.

Since nesting dolls are from Russia, it’s only fair. The large one has the gorgeous Firebird.

61. This nesting doll set depicts the planets of the Solar System.

This is sorted by size, by the way. And in accordance with most scientists, Pluto is not included.

This is sorted by size, by the way. And in accordance with most scientists, Pluto is not included.

62. Though Russian, nesting dolls can depict a variety of different cultures. This set is from Africa.

Probably from the sub Saharan region but I can't say where. But you have to admire the colorful outfits.

Probably from the sub Saharan region but I can’t say where. But you have to admire the colorful outfits.

63. For Czarist nostalgia, you have this Royal family nesting doll set.

Just remember that this set depicts a family that would all be killed by the Bolsheviks during the Russian Revolution. Let that sink in.

Just remember that this set depicts a family that would all be killed by the Bolsheviks during the Russian Revolution. Let that sink in.

64. These Disney Princess nesting dolls have all the royal touches.

Sure Mulan, Pocahontas, and Tiana aren't included. But they're not exactly princesses per se. Then again, Elsa is actually a queen.

Sure Mulan, Pocahontas, and Tiana aren’t included. But they’re not exactly princesses per se. Then again, Elsa is actually a queen.

65. Another Wes Anderson nesting doll set is from the Life Aquatic with Steve Zissou.

It's about a Jacques Cousteau like captain and his crew. But they all seem to wear the same outfit.

It’s about a Jacques Cousteau like captain and his crew. But they all seem to wear the same outfit.

66. When it comes to nesting dolls, you never know how many can fit inside each other.

Most nesting doll sets usually consist of 5-8 dolls. But this one has almost infinite that you can barely see the smallest one.

Most nesting doll sets usually consist of 5-8 dolls. But this one has almost infinite that you can barely see the smallest one.

67. These ninja nesting dolls all wear black and gold.

Yes, it's another ninja nesting doll set. But these are dressed and black and have knives on them.

Yes, it’s another ninja nesting doll set. But these are dressed and black and have knives on them.

68. If you like animals and Wes Anderson, these Fantastic Mr. Fox nesting dolls will delight.

Includes all the critters you know and love from the stop motion Fantastic Mr. Fox. Adorable.

Includes all the critters you know and love from the stop motion Fantastic Mr. Fox. Adorable.

69. For these Gustav Klimt nesting dolls, each one has a masterpiece.

Klimt seems to have his way with colors, doesn't he? His kiss is the most famous.

Klimt seems to have his way with colors, doesn’t he? His kiss is the most famous.

70. For Christmas, this nesting doll set is perfect decoration.

Then again, this might consist of more than one. But I really like the Christmas tree.

Then again, this might consist of more than one. But I really like the Christmas tree.

71. This second season Blackadder set is great for all your cunning plans.

This is great. Has Blackadder, Queenie, Lord Percy, Nursie, and Baldrick. Love it.

This is great. Has Blackadder, Queenie, Lord Percy, Nursie, and Baldrick. Love it.

72. No one can resist these penguin nesting dolls that can melt a frozen heart.

About time, I included a penguin nesting doll set. Because these creatures are adorable. Love the beaks and tuxedos.

About time, I included a penguin nesting doll set. Because these creatures are adorable. Love the beaks and tuxedos.

73. With this nesting doll set of Muhammad Ali, your shelf will truly be the greatest.

Yes, this depicts Muhammad Ali who died not to long ago. Doesn't hurt if I put this on my post. RIP

Yes, this depicts Muhammad Ali who died not to long ago. Doesn’t hurt if I put this on my post. RIP

74. Guess these nesting dolls can be nun too holy.

As it turns out this is a set of nun nesting dolls. Guess these were easy to paint. So cute.

As it turns out this is a set of nun nesting dolls. Guess these were easy to paint. So cute.

75. Though these hot air balloon nesting dolls can’t fly, they sure delight.

Now that's a rather clever concept. Like how each one has a different pattern. Lovely.

Now that’s a rather clever concept. Like how each one has a different pattern. Lovely.

76. If you like old horror movies, then this set is the one for you.

Includes Frankenstein's monster, Dracula, the Creature from the Black Lagoon, and the Mummy. Guess Wolf Man fans will be disappointed.

Includes Frankenstein’s monster, Dracula, the Creature from the Black Lagoon, and the Mummy. Guess Wolf Man fans will be disappointed.

77. Snoopy fans will adore these Peanuts nesting dolls.

Well, it has Snoopy with his friends. Each one has a different color. Adorable.

Well, it has Snoopy with his friends. Each one has a different color. Adorable.

78. Follow the life of Christ with this nesting doll set.

Like I said before, Jesus's life is a popular nesting doll theme. This one depicts it in chronological order.

Like I said before, Jesus’s life is a popular nesting doll theme. This one depicts it in chronological order.

79. This nesting doll set has all the iconography.

Well, iconography from Russian and Eastern European churches. Some figures may repeat.

Well, iconography from Russian and Eastern European churches. Some figures may repeat.

80. Sometimes colors and abstract concepts can be well suited for nesting dolls.

This one depicts rainbow colors with each sporting a unique pattern. Guess it's easier than painting a face.

This one depicts rainbow colors with each sporting a unique pattern. Guess it’s easier than painting a face.

81. If you liked Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs, you can’t resist nesting dolls like these.

The dwarves on here seem considerably smaller than Snow White. But that's to be expected.

The dwarves on here seem considerably smaller than Snow White. But that’s to be expected.

82. This set of nesting dolls depicts a group that set off the British Invasion in the 1960s.

Yes, these are the Beatles possibly from 1967. Though they're not in their Sergeant Pepper gear at this point.

Yes, these are the Beatles possibly from 1967. Though they’re not in their Sergeant Pepper gear at this point.

83. Speaking of the Beatles, these nesting dolls all live in a yellow submarine.

It's from the cartoon they were in during the late 1960s. So having a nesting doll set of Yellow Submarine is inevitable.

It’s from the cartoon they were in during the late 1960s. So having a nesting doll set of Yellow Submarine is inevitable.

84. Hello Kitty fans can’t resist nesting doll set like this.

Each is depicted in a shade of pink and purple. Each features Hello Kitty in a different outfit.

Each is depicted in a shade of pink and purple. Each features Hello Kitty in a different outfit.

85. For Christmas you can’t do without a nesting doll set of Good St. Nick.

Each of these has a different Santa though their faces mostly look the same. And so do their clothes.

Each of these has a different Santa though their faces mostly look the same. And so do their clothes.

86. This nesting doll set is boldly going where no man has gone before.

The Scotty and Dr. McCoy nesting dolls don't seem to look right on this. Also, there's no Chekov.

The Scotty and Dr. McCoy nesting dolls don’t seem to look right on this. Also, there’s no Chekov.

87. These robot nesting dolls might be metal but they’ll melt your heart.

Each one has a different machine configuration. One may be radioactive.

Each one has a different machine configuration. One may be radioactive.

88. This Game of Thrones nesting doll set has a wide range of characters.

Remember that some of these will not be coming back next season. But the show's really popular so I have it on here.

Remember that some of these will not be coming back next season. But the show’s really popular so I have it on here.

89. For Nightmare Before Christmas fans, these nesting dolls are a must have.

Who knew that you'd have a nesting doll set for this. Oogie Boogie is the biggest one here.

Who knew that you’d have a nesting doll set for this. Oogie Boogie is the biggest one here.

90. On Middle Earth, this is the nesting doll set to rule them all.

This one is of the Fellowship of the Ring from Lord of the Rings. Notice the the ring is the smallest piece.

This one is of the Fellowship of the Ring from Lord of the Rings. Notice the the Ring is the smallest piece.

91. These nesting dolls are coming for your brains.

Man, these zombie nesting dolls surely look hideous. Doesn't help that it has a bloody brain.

Man, these zombie nesting dolls surely look hideous. Doesn’t help that it has a bloody brain.

92. If you like Stanley Kubrick, this Clockwork Orange nesting doll set is for you.

Personally, I prefer to see ones of Barry Lyndon, Spartacus, or Dr. Strangelove. Yet, know that A Clockwork Orange is a very violent movie. Very violent.

Personally, I prefer to see ones of Barry Lyndon, Spartacus, or Dr. Strangelove. Yet, know that A Clockwork Orange is a very violent movie. Very violent.

93. This Harry Potter nesting doll set will make you the pride of Hogwarts.

This mainly consist of Hogwarts students. Looks like Draco Malfoy has the smallest piece.

This mainly consist of Hogwarts students. Looks like Draco Malfoy has the smallest piece.

94. This Fab Four nesting doll set is a true collectors’ item.

Yes, it's another Beatles nesting doll set. But this one depicts them early in their career. That's different.

Yes, it’s another Beatles nesting doll set. But this one depicts them early in their career. That’s different.

95. This Apple Steve Jobs nesting doll set is truly revolutionary.

Each doll has Jobs holding a different item. Smallest one has the icon.

Each doll has Jobs holding a different item. Smallest one has the icon.

96. These Batman nesting dolls are surely imposing.

Each one is of Batman in his batsuit and bat logo. Don't ask. Clever.

Each one is of Batman in his batsuit and bat logo. Don’t ask. Clever.

97. This nesting doll set has all the czars.

Well, all the czars you probably know. And some that you don't but should.

Well, all the czars you probably know. And some that you don’t but should.

98. These modern art nesting dolls are a treat to look at.

I think they're supposed to be in the style of Malevich. Have no idea who that is.

I think they’re supposed to be in the style of Malevich. Have no idea who that is.

99. From Pixar, these Inside Out nesting dolls are a great fit.

This one has all the feelings in Riley's head. Includes Joy, Fear, Disgust, Sadness, and Anger.

This one has all the feelings in Riley’s head. Includes Joy, Fear, Disgust, Sadness, and Anger.

100. Finally, you can’t possibly do without a nesting doll set of nutcrackers.

Doesn't exactly look like the one my family has. But as far as nesting doll Christmas decorations go, it will do.

Doesn’t exactly look like the one my family has. But as far as nesting doll Christmas decorations go, it will do.

Dress Up Fun with Fashion Dolls

Though I did play with Barbies as a girl like most out there, it was more for roleplaying than anything to do with fashion. They were a toy just like any other. The Barbies were my actors and the clothes were just costumes. I’d be the one making up the characters and voices. However, even before Barbie, there have been other fashion dolls. Hell, the first fashion doll was the French Bisque which was from the 19th century. Nevertheless, there has never been a fashion doll like Barbie and never will. And even though Barbie is seen as a toy by most, there are plenty of people who never stop playing with them and even collect them. Yeah, it’s not just adult men who collect toys, you know. For decades Barbie has been used as a model to reflect fashion trends. But she’s hardly alone. In this post, I’ll show you how fashion dolls are an art form all on their own. Some of them might be fashion plates akin to others on the run way. Some might wear outfits from an bygone era or another culture. And some might be designed and dressed to resemble characters you see from pop culture whether they be movies, TV shows, books, and what not. Others may be famous celebrities. But none of these dolls were meant for little girls to play with. So without further adieu, here I bring you some of the many fashion dolls you might feast your eyes on.

  1. Those who like foreign films and crime would love this French gangster’s moll Barbie.
Now this might not be a Barbie. And I'm definitely sure she's not supposed to be a French gangster's moll. However, her outfit and facial expression suggests that she's straight from a French gangster movie.

Now this might not be a Barbie. And I’m definitely sure she’s not supposed to be a French gangster’s moll. However, her outfit and facial expression suggests that she’s straight from a French gangster movie.

2. Experience late 1940s French fashion with this Christian Dior’s New Look Barbie.

Now this is the look that reestablished Paris as the capital of the fashion world after WWII. It was extremely popular in the post-war era.

Now this is the look that reestablished Paris as the capital of the fashion world after WWII. It was extremely popular in the post-war era.

3. Celebrity and historical figures are rather popular fashion subjects. This one is of Queen Marie Antoinette as she looked before the French Revolution.

Contrary, to popular belief, Marie Antoinette didn't say

Contrary, to popular belief, Marie Antoinette didn’t say “Let them eat cake.” She didn’t cheat on her husband (though I wouldn’t blame her if she did). She had no political influence on the French Court despite having a mother and brother ruling the Austrian Empire. And while her spending was very extravagant, it wasn’t unusual by French royalty standards.

4. Now here’s Barbie as Marguerite Gautier from the Greta Garbo 1936 film Camille.

Of course, we have to understand that Marguerite is the 19th century equivalent to a high class hooker. However, she does fall in love and succumb to tuberculosis during the movie.

Of course, we have to understand that Marguerite is the 19th century equivalent to a high class hooker. However, she does fall in love and succumb to tuberculosis during the movie.

5. All the way from Africa may I present to you Tribal Princess Barbie.

I don't know about this one. Now I know there light skinned Africans but they mostly reside in the Sahara region. The outfit looks more like it's from the Savannah. So my guess is that her mother was raped by a great white hunter.

I don’t know about this one. Now I know there light skinned Africans but they mostly reside in the Sahara region. The outfit looks more like it’s from the Savannah. So my guess is that her mother was raped by a great white hunter.

6. For you Lord of the Rings fans out there, you might enjoy your very own Arwen and Aragorn Barbie and Ken.

You wouldn't know it, but these two have a very huge age difference between them. I mean she's like around 2800 years old. And he's considerably younger. Then again, age may just be a number on Middle Earth.

You wouldn’t know it, but these two have a very huge age difference between them. I mean she’s like around 2800 years old. And he’s considerably younger. Then again, age may just be a number on Middle Earth.

7. Many fashion dolls depict fashion you’d see from foreign cultures. This one is from Korea.

Of course, this is a more historical dress. However, all East Asians seem to dress alike to be. Well, to an extent. Of course, I'm not as familiar with Korea as I am with China and Japan.

Of course, this is a more historical dress. However, all East Asians seem to dress alike to be. Well, to an extent. Of course, I’m not as familiar with Korea as I am with China and Japan.

8. This doll looks quite captivating in her Edwardian corset, big hat, and hobble skirt.

The hobble skirt was a short lived fashion trend in 1910-1913. These greatly restricted mobility that women had to take very small steps.

The hobble skirt was a short lived fashion trend in 1910-1913. These greatly restricted mobility that women had to take very small steps.

9. For all you Greek mythology enthusiasts, you might be interested to see Medusa Barbie.

Yes, she might be pretty and even alluring. But you might take note that looking at her will get you stoned. And I don't mean high. I mean literally turned into stone. Perseus had to use a mirror in order to kill her.

Yes, she might be pretty and even alluring. But you might take note that looking at her will get you stoned. And I don’t mean high. I mean literally turned into stone. Perseus had to use a mirror in order to kill her.

10. Say G’Day to this lovely Australia Barbie.

The only way you can tell she's Australian is that she has a koala wrapped around her arm. Other than that, she can pass for either Indiana Jones Adventure Barbie or High Fashion Texas Cowgirl Barbie.

The only way you can tell she’s Australian is that she has a koala wrapped around her arm. Other than that, she can pass for either Indiana Jones Adventure Barbie or High Fashion Texas Cowgirl Barbie.

11. This Barbie is all dressed and ready to celebrate the Chinese New Year.

Now this is definitely Chinese outfit, though retrofitted for modern fashion. Of course, she also has a rather interesting hairstyle, too.

Now this is definitely Chinese outfit, though retrofitted for modern fashion. Of course, she also has a rather interesting hairstyle, too.

12. Ladies and gentlemen, I give you Victoria’s Secret Fashion Barbie.

I'm sure this Barbie Doll was definitely not made for children. And I'm positive she's wearing an outfit no woman would actually wear. Yes, I don't understand either.

I’m sure this Barbie Doll was definitely not made for children. And I’m positive she’s wearing an outfit no woman would actually wear. Yes, I don’t understand either.

13. Step into fantasy with your very own unicorn princess Barbie.

It's what you get in a fashion doll when you have a fairy tell princess employ Lady Gaga's fashion consultant. Seriously, I don't know why they have the unicorn on the dress. I mean that's crazy.

It’s what you get in a fashion doll when you have a fairy tell princess employ Lady Gaga’s fashion consultant. Seriously, I don’t know why they have the unicorn on the dress. I mean that’s crazy.

14. This Steampunk Barbie is geared up and ready for action.

Steampunk is kind of hard to explain since it employs Victorian clothing and steam technology in a sci-fi fashion. However, this doll might risk arrest for wearing a slutty outfit like that in Victorian London.

Steampunk is kind of hard to explain since it employs Victorian clothing and steam technology in a sci-fi fashion. However, this doll might risk arrest for wearing a slutty outfit like that in Victorian London.

15. For all you Audrey Hepburn fans out there, you’ certainly delight in this fashion doll of her from Roman Holiday.

So Roman Holiday isn't nearly as famous as Breakfast at Tiffany's? Yes, the latter made Audrey into a style icon but it's a highly overrated film. Roman Holiday, on the other hand, is very charming and wonderful all the way through. Seriously. Breakfast at Tiffany's doesn't even hold a candle to Roman Holiday.

So Roman Holiday isn’t nearly as famous as Breakfast at Tiffany’s? Yes, the latter made Audrey into a style icon but it’s a highly overrated film. Roman Holiday, on the other hand, is very charming and wonderful all the way through. Seriously. Breakfast at Tiffany’s doesn’t even hold a candle to Roman Holiday.

16. Relive the Belle Epoque of late 19th century Paris with this Can-Can dancer fashion doll.

Despite that you see can-can dancers in a lot of media geared to PG audiences, the can-can wasn't originally considered a wholesome dance in its hey day. This was because women typically wore dresses that made it difficult to go to the bathroom.

Despite that you see can-can dancers in a lot of media geared to PG audiences, the can-can wasn’t originally considered a wholesome dance in its hey day. This was because women typically wore dresses that made it difficult to go to the bathroom.

17. This fashion doll is decked in traditional garb all the way from India.

I know this isn't bridal attire since Indian women typically wear bright red and a lot more jewelry. And I'm sure this isn't really Barbie either. But I'll take it.

I know this isn’t bridal attire since Indian women typically wear bright red and a lot more jewelry. And I’m sure this isn’t really Barbie either. But I’ll take it.

18. Spring Fairy Barbie always has to have glitter on her wings.

Not sure what to make of that outfit though. But it seems to go nicely with the background. Think the wings are the best thing about it however.

Not sure what to make of that outfit though. But it seems to go nicely with the background. Think the wings are the best thing about it however.

19. Now this fashion doll holds flowers in both hands to celebrate the spirit of spring.

Now I'm sure this isn't Barbie. But I also have no idea whether this is supposed to be a generic spring doll or depict an actual goddess or character. I just know it has something to do with spring.

Now I’m sure this isn’t Barbie. But I also have no idea whether this is supposed to be a generic spring doll or depict an actual goddess or character. I just know it has something to do with spring.

20. Relive the glory of the British Empire and the Victorian Age with this Queen Victoria fashion doll.

Now this depicts the young Queen Victoria around her coronation when she's only a teenager. However, I have to admit, that it does get a lot of her proportions right. Still, you'd never see such realism in a Barbie doll though.

Now this depicts the young Queen Victoria around her coronation when she’s only a teenager. However, I have to admit, that it does get a lot of her proportions right. Still, you’d never see such realism in a Barbie doll though.

21. Play a game of croquet with your very own Queen of Hearts Barbie.

Prettiest Queen of Hearts I've ever seen from Alice in Wonderland. However, you should be aware that she's a real bitch who's willing to decapitate people for the smallest offenses. Also, has a really nasty temper.

Prettiest Queen of Hearts I’ve ever seen from Alice in Wonderland. However, you should be aware that she’s a real bitch who’s willing to decapitate people for the smallest offenses. Also, has a really nasty temper.

22. Enjoy the glories of Imperial China with Imperial Chinese Princess Barbie.

Actually she should be Ching Dynasty Princess Barbie. Because her qipao outfit is clearly Manchurian. Chinese robes open in the middle.

Actually she should be Ching Dynasty Princess Barbie. Because her qipao outfit is clearly Manchurian. Manchurians aren’t technically Chinese. Chinese robes open in the middle. Also needs to wear smaller shoes.

23. Now this angelic fashion doll certainly has an heavenly presence.

While angels are represented as lovely human beings with wings, you'd be surprised what they look like in The Bible. Seriously, biblical cherubs don't really look like cute chubby babies. Neither did Cupid in Greek mythology.

While angels are represented as lovely human beings with wings, you’d be surprised what they look like in The Bible. Seriously, biblical cherubs don’t really look like cute chubby babies. Neither did Cupid in Greek mythology.

24. Now this doll wedding scene helps underscore vintage 1920s elegance.

Now this isn't Barbie from what I can tell. However, I really have to scratch my head at people who want to throw Great Gatsby themed parties. Seriously, I wonder if these people have any idea what the book is really about.

Now this isn’t Barbie from what I can tell. However, I really have to scratch my head at people who want to throw Great Gatsby themed parties. Seriously, I wonder if these people have any idea what the book is really about.

25. Enjoy the magic of Roma with this lovely Italian Barbie.

Now she's certainly dressed like you'd expect in Italy. And she's carrying her own basket with yellow flowers. Kind of prefer she carry cheese, bread, and other foodstuffs.

Now she’s certainly dressed like you’d expect in Italy. And she’s carrying her own basket with yellow flowers. Kind of prefer she carry cheese, bread, and other foodstuffs.

26. You can’t understand true love without Ken and Barbie as Romeo and Juliet.

Romeo and Juliet: A Shakespearean play that depicts two teenagers getting together amid familial gang violence, getting hitched within days, and killing themselves. Yeah, really make all the wrong decisions there. Still, despite content is said to be one of the greatest love stories of all time.

Romeo and Juliet: A Shakespearean play that depicts two teenagers getting together amid familial gang violence, getting hitched within days, and killing themselves. Yeah, really make all the wrong decisions there. Still, despite content is said to be one of the greatest love stories of all time.

27. Reenact the famous Andrew Lloyd Weber musical with Ken and Barbie as Erik and Christine from Phantom of the Opera.

Of course, it's disturbing that everyone thinks the relationship between Erik and Christine is romantic. It's not. It's downright creepy. I mean the guy is selfish, controlling, manipulative, and not above kidnapping his

Of course, it’s disturbing that everyone thinks the relationship between Erik and Christine is romantic. It’s not. It’s downright creepy. I mean the guy is selfish, controlling, manipulative, and not above kidnapping his “beloved” so he could force her to marry him. And yet, he’s seen as a sex symbol. Sorry, but Erik is a total bastard.

28. Enjoy the violet eyed splendor with this Elizabeth Taylor fashion doll in purple.

Yes, Elizabeth Taylor was one of Hollywood's radiant stars. However, we should remember she was an alcoholic who was married 8 times. Twice to Richard Burton.

Yes, Elizabeth Taylor was one of Hollywood’s radiant stars. However, we should remember she was an alcoholic who was married 8 times. Twice to Richard Burton.

29. Love Pirates of the Caribbean? Well, you’ll adore this fashion doll of Captain Jack Sparrow.

Now that's almost a dead ringer to the famous Johnny Depp character himself. Hope he doesn't run into zombie pirates. Wish he had his hat though.

Now that’s almost a dead ringer to the famous Johnny Depp character himself. Hope he doesn’t run into zombie pirates. Wish he had his hat though.

30. This Native American fashion doll is absolutely stunning.

Yes, she has blue eyes. But she has lots of feathers all over her. Besides, I like her better than the other Native American dolls I've seen on Pinterest.

Yes, she has blue eyes. But she has lots of feathers all over her. Besides, I like her better than the other Native American dolls I’ve seen on Pinterest.

31. Relive the magic of Camelot with Ken and Barbie as King Arthur and Guinevere.

This is from the Lerner and Lowe musical from the 1960s. I'm more of a fan of Monty Python and the Holy Grail. But my mom likes Camelot, so it goes on the post.

This is from the Lerner and Lowe musical from the 1960s. I’m more of a fan of Monty Python and the Holy Grail. But my mom likes Camelot, so it goes on the post.

32. Of course, you can’t have a tribute to Las Vegas without Vegas Showgirl Barbie.

How else can I explain seeing Barbie in a scantily clad outfit with feathers. Wonder if it comes with drunk gambling addict Ken.

How else can I explain seeing Barbie in a scantily clad outfit with feathers. Wonder if it comes with drunk gambling addict Ken.

33. In outfits like these Ken and Barbie seem to go where no man has gone before.

In this Ken is Captain Kirk, one of the most alien STD laden men in the galaxy. Barbie is Yeoman Rand, Kirk's main squeeze who strangely disappeared after the first season.

In this Ken is Captain Kirk, one of the most alien STD laden men in the galaxy who can’t keep it in his pants. Barbie is Yeoman Rand, Kirk’s main squeeze who strangely disappeared after the first season.

34. Now this Margot Channing fashion doll won’t be had for the price of a cocktail.

Yes, this is Bette Davis in her most famous role from All About Eve. Of course, Margot is a great star, a true star, and will never be any less. Eve Harrington, on the other hand, is a scheming two-timing bitch.

Yes, this is Bette Davis in her most famous role from All About Eve. Of course, Margot is a great star, a true star, and will never be any less. Eve Harrington, on the other hand, is a scheming two-timing bitch played by Anne Baxter. Fasten your seat belts, indeed.

35. Relive the splendor of the Napoleonic Age with this Empress Josephine fashion doll.

Basically she was Napoleon Bonaparte's shopaholic wife, whom he later dumped to marry an Austrian trophy princess. Well, he only did it because he wanted a son and she couldn't give him one. Still, his love letters to her read a lot like crazy texts. Seriously, they're hysterical.

Basically she was Napoleon Bonaparte’s shopaholic wife, whom he later dumped to marry an Austrian trophy princess. Well, he only did it because he wanted a son and she couldn’t give him one. Still, his love letters to her read a lot like crazy texts. Seriously, they’re hysterical.

36. Experience the suspense of Alfred Hitchcock with your very own Barbie of Tippi Hedren from The Birds.

Don't worry I'm sure the birds won't peck her to death. That would be Susanne Pleshette's character.

Don’t worry I’m sure the birds won’t peck her to death. That would be Susanne Pleshette’s character.

37. This 1920s flapper Barbie plans to dance the night away.

Now I'm sure she's not going to look as stunning as this when she wakes up with a hangover the next morning. Yeah, she's going need something for that hangover.

Now I’m sure she’s not going to look as stunning as this when she wakes up with a hangover the next morning. Yeah, she’s going need something for that hangover.

38. Relive the glory of the Lord of the Rings with your very own Galadriel Barbie.

Not quite like Cate Blanchett but at least they got the dress right. And the hairdo as well. Hey, why buy a Barbie princess when you can buy a queen?

Not quite like Cate Blanchett but at least they got the dress right. And the hairdo as well. Hey, why buy a Barbie princess when you can buy a queen?

39. This Japanese Barbie has the elegance and charm like a geisha.

Okay, she looks like a geisha and I know what it is in Japan. However, I hope this doll comes with Samurai Ken. Love the parasol.

Okay, she looks like a geisha and I know what it is in Japan. However, I hope this doll comes with Samurai Ken. Love the parasol.

40. Come fly and swing with your very own Frank Sinatra fashion doll.

Yes, Old Blue Eyes has a wonderful voice, indeed. Too bad he manage to ruin it through alcohol and cigarettes. You know, basically the two substances that have killed more people in Hollywood than anything else.

Yes, Old Blue Eyes has a wonderful voice, indeed. Too bad he manage to ruin it through alcohol and cigarettes. You know, basically the two substances that have killed more people in Hollywood than anything else.

41. Of course, this couple of fashion dolls are kind of on the dark side.

Yeah, they kind of look like a cross between Poldark and Sweeny Todd. However, you have to go with what you have.

Yeah, they kind of look like a cross between Poldark and Sweeny Todd. However, you have to go with what you have.

42. Of course, I can’t do a post on fashion dolls without including the one and only Marilyn Monroe.

Sure she might've died at home of an overdose at 36. But even so, she still remains an American beauty icon and Hollywood legend.

Sure she might’ve died at home of an overdose at 36. But even so, she still remains an American beauty icon and Hollywood legend.

43. This holiday party Barbie is well dressed in a blue snowflake dress for all occasions.

Now they have a lot of holiday Barbies out there. However, this one with the dark hair, blue snowflake dress, and cameo pearl necklace is the one I liked best.

Now they have a lot of holiday Barbies out there. However, this one with the dark hair, blue snowflake dress, and cameo pearl necklace is the one I liked best.

44. When it comes to fashion dolls, nobody seems to have more outfits than Scarlett O’Hara.

And this is just nine of the outfits she wears in the whole 4 hour movie. And yes, there are many more where that came from.

And this is just nine of the outfits she wears in the whole 4 hour movie. And yes, there are many more where that came from.

45. Whistle while you work with your very own Snow White fashion doll.

Okay, I'm fine with Disney lying to me about my prince coming when I'm lying stone cold in a glass coffin. However, I'm not sure if I can forgive Disney for lying about the woodland creatures wanting to clean my house. Now that's really low.

Okay, I’m fine with Disney lying to me about my prince coming when I’m lying stone cold in a glass coffin. However, I’m not sure if I can forgive Disney for lying about the woodland creatures wanting to clean my house. Now that’s really low.

46. Travel to wonderland with this Alice in Wonderland fashion doll.

Kind of looks like an emo Alice to me for some reason. Also, I'm not sure if she looks like the Alice from the Disney movie. Probably not.

Kind of looks like an emo Alice to me for some reason. Also, I’m not sure if she looks like the Alice from the Disney movie. Probably not. Not from the Tim Burton one either.

47. Now here is Barbie dancing as the swan princess of Swan Lake.

Let's hope this isn't Barbie as Natalie Portman's character from Black Swan. Then again, for something seen as feminine, ballet seems to be shockingly tragic, creepy, and practiced more like a sport.

Let’s hope this isn’t Barbie as Natalie Portman’s character from Black Swan. Then again, for something seen as feminine, ballet seems to be shockingly tragic, creepy, and practiced more like a sport.

48. This Japanese fashion doll is rather resplendent in her flowery kimono.

I can tell this is a Japanese doll since she's wearing a kimono or two. However, I do love the red flower in her hair. This might be a foreign doll, by the way.

I can tell this is a Japanese doll since she’s wearing a kimono or two. However, I do love the red flower in her hair. This might be a foreign doll, by the way.

49. Of course, experience the magic of the Kit Kat Club of Weimar Germany with these Cabaret Barbies.

Yes, the dancers tend to dress like that in the movie. Of course, I didn't include the emcee since he was a guy in the film. Nor did I include Sally Bowles either.

Yes, the dancers tend to dress like that in the movie. Of course, I didn’t include the emcee since he was a guy in the film. Nor did I include Sally Bowles either.

50. Now this Spanish fashion doll is certainly a charming senorita.

Now I don't think she's a flamenco dancer since she lacks castanets. However, I love her beautiful black lace on her red dress, fan and veil.

Now I don’t think she’s a flamenco dancer since she lacks castanets. However, I love her beautiful black lace on her red dress, fan and veil.

51. Now this Indonesian Barbie wears a dress that makes her a perfect Southeast Asian princess.

Well, I have to remind you that all Asians don't necessarily look alike. Besides, many of them also have their own unique culture. Also, love her crown.

Well, I have to remind you that all Asians don’t necessarily look alike. Besides, many of them also have their own unique culture. Also, love her crown.

52. This lovely Chinese Barbie is lovely in her red, flowery dress.

She even has a baby panda on her arm. I also really like her earrings and hairstyle, too.

She even has a baby panda on her arm. I also really like her earrings and hairstyle, too.

53. This Ghost Bride Barbie is so beautiful that she’s doomed to haunt your dreams.

Looks like Ken really screwed her over in life. Now she's haunting his dreams and home so she can make him pay.

Looks like Ken really screwed her over in life. Now she’s haunting his dreams and home so she can make him pay.

54. This lovely Barbie seems like a gracious hostess for afternoon tea.

They have a lot of Victorian fashion dolls. This fashion is from the 1870s and 1880s since it features the bustle. It was supposed to enhance women's rear ends.

They have a lot of Victorian fashion dolls. This fashion is from the 1870s and 1880s since it features the bustle. It was supposed to enhance women’s rear ends.

55. Capture the essence of the Pre-Columbian Mexico and Central America with this Mesoamerican spirit Barbie.

Of course, I'm sure she might ask for some human sacrifices. Maybe a lot of them. You know that almost every Meso and South American indigenous culture practiced it.

Of course, I’m sure she might ask for some human sacrifices. Maybe a lot of them. You know that almost every Meso and South American indigenous culture practiced it.

56. Experience the battlefield with your very own Civil War Nurse Barbie.

Hope she has a Civil War Surgeon Ken. Now I guess he has his own surgical instruments, including his amputation saw. Bet his outfit is covered with blood that it can't be shown.

Hope she has a Civil War Surgeon Ken. Now I guess he has his own surgical instruments, including his amputation saw. Bet his outfit is covered with blood that it can’t be shown.

57. Now this Queen of the Galaxy Barbie is certainly out of this world.

Now this seems like it's straight off from Lady Gaga's wardrobe. Then again, she kind of reminds me of some character you'd see from a 1980s sci-fi movie. Maybe she should get together with Captain Kirk Ken.

Now this seems like it’s straight off from Lady Gaga’s wardrobe. Then again, she kind of reminds me of some character you’d see from a 1980s sci-fi movie. Maybe she should get together with Captain Kirk Ken.

58. Relive the glory of Imperial Russia with this Russian Princess fashion doll.

Of course, if she's a member of the Romanov royal family, I'm sure that things won't be looking good for her once October 1917 flies in. Yeah, sad that this resplendent beauty will soon become a Bolshevik shooting target.

Of course, if she’s a member of the Romanov royal family, I’m sure that things won’t be looking good for her once October 1917 flies in. Yeah, sad that this resplendent beauty will soon become a Bolshevik shooting target.

59. This Native American Barbie is clad in her very own fringe dress and buckskin coat.

Man, she seems to have rows and rose of fringes. But she also has a lovely trimmed buckskin coat trimmed with fur.

Man, she seems to have rows and rose of fringes. But she also has a lovely trimmed buckskin coat trimmed with fur.

60. This flapper fashion doll is all dolled up for a 1920s party.

Yes, she's in shimmering silver from her jewelry to her furs. Her gown is made almost entirely of silver lace. Probably paid a pretty penny.

Yes, she’s in shimmering silver from her jewelry to her furs. Her gown is made almost entirely of silver lace. Probably paid a pretty penny.

61. Take a trip down the Nile of Ancient Egypt with Egyptian Queen Barbie.

I wonder if this one comes with Egyptian Pharaoh Ken, who's most likely her brother. I mean you know what these Ancient Egyptian royal families were like. An Egyptian royal who doesn't marry their sibling is usually killed by them. Relatives were always after the Pharoah's throne.

I wonder if this one comes with Egyptian Pharaoh Ken, who’s most likely her brother. I mean you know what these Ancient Egyptian royal families were like. An Egyptian royal who doesn’t marry their sibling is usually killed by them. Relatives were always after the Pharoah’s throne.

62. Of course, where would a Scarlett O’Hara fashion doll be without her Rhett Butler?

There are quite a few Rhett Butler fashion dolls out there. However, none of them seem to be as good as this incarnation. And this is his signature look, by the way.

There are quite a few Rhett Butler fashion dolls out there. However, none of them seem to be as good as this incarnation. And this is his signature look, by the way. Besides, frankly my dear, I don’t give a damn.

63. Nothing is as stunning south of the border than a Mexican Barbie.

Not sure if she's dressed as a bullfighter. However, I can tell she's Mexican because she is wearing a sombrero. And it's matching with her outfit.

Not sure if she’s dressed as a bullfighter. However, I can tell she’s Mexican because she is wearing a sombrero. And it’s matching with her outfit.

64. Nothing is more exquisite at a haunted house than a Dark Bride Barbie.

Now this is a lovely bridal outfit. Love the bouquet of roses. Wouldn't be surprised if Morticia Addams wore it on her wedding day.

Now this is a lovely bridal outfit. Love the bouquet of roses. Wouldn’t be surprised if Morticia Addams wore it on her wedding day.

65. Hope Jazz Diva Barbie sounds as good as she looks.

Reminds me of the film noir jazz singers you see in smoke filled night clubs. Probably has a lot of hard boiled detectives and crime.

Reminds me of the film noir jazz singers you see in smoke filled night clubs. Probably has a lot of hard boiled detectives and crime.

66. Relive the forbidden romance with this fashion doll of Anna Karenina.

Now I'm not really much of a fan of Anna Karenina. I think she was just really immature who had absolutely no idea about to have a healthy relationship. Not to mention, she was so wrapped into Vronsky that she didn't try to get a new hobby. And then she threw herself in front of a train.

Now I’m not really much of a fan of Anna Karenina. I think she was just really immature who had absolutely no idea about to have a healthy relationship. Not to mention, she was so wrapped into Vronsky that she didn’t try to get a new hobby. And then she threw herself in front of a train.

67. South Asian Dance Barbie is dressed in such exquisite attire.

Not sure which country she's from. Certainly it's not Nepal since that's in the Himilayas. And she's certainly not dressed for that weather.

Not sure which country she’s from. Certainly it’s not Nepal since that’s in the Himilayas. And she’s certainly not dressed for that weather.

68. Now this Belle fashion doll wears a gown for a romance that’s a tale as old as time.

However, we should note that her boyfriend is a total beast. I mean the guy practically kept her his prisoner until she fell in love with him.

However, we should note that her boyfriend is a total beast. I mean the guy practically kept her his prisoner until she fell in love with him.

69. Hope Diamond certainly knows how to dress for an evening.

Of course, the Hope Diamond is now in the Smithsonian. And it's said to bring a lot of bad luck to its owners.

Of course, the Hope Diamond is now in the Smithsonian. And it’s said to bring a lot of bad luck to its owners.

70. Now Russian Barbie is certainly a rare winter beauty.

Let's hope that she's bundled up to face the harsh Russian winter. Then again, Russia is a rather crazy country. Not to mention, there's also Putin she might have to deal with. And the Siberian gulag if it still exists.

Let’s hope that she’s bundled up to face the harsh Russian winter. Then again, Russia is a rather crazy country. Not to mention, there’s also Putin she might have to deal with. And the Siberian gulag if it still exists.

71. This blushing Barbie bride looks simply stunning for her big day.

You see a lot of bride fashion dolls. And it's no wonder with how the wedding industry is like these days. But this is one of my favorites.

You see a lot of bride fashion dolls. And it’s no wonder with how the wedding industry is like these days. But this is one of my favorites.

72. Of course, those who love Ava Gardner should get a fashion doll of her from The Killers.

Her performance in The Killers was said to make Frank Sinatra so infatuated with her that he abandoned his wife and kids for her. Of course, they were a great match made in Hollywood (sarcasm). Actually their relationship was rather tempestuous and dysfunctional.

Her performance in The Killers was said to make Frank Sinatra so infatuated with her that he abandoned his wife and kids for her. Of course, they were a great match made in Hollywood (sarcasm). Actually their relationship was rather tempestuous and dysfunctional.

73. All that glitters on this Barbie is golden.

Now this reminds me of something Lady Gaga would wear if she was doing the theme from Goldfinger. Of course, that would look uncomfortable on a normal person.

Now this reminds me of something Lady Gaga would wear if she was doing the theme from Goldfinger. Of course, that would look uncomfortable on a normal person.

74. This Gypsy fashion doll shakes her own tambourine for her keep.

I've seen quite a few gypsy fashion dolls. But I think this one is especially lovely, especially the dress.

I’ve seen quite a few gypsy fashion dolls. But I think this one is especially lovely, especially the dress.

75. Relive the experience of Titanic with this Rose DeWitt Bukater fashion doll.

This is what she wears during the scene when Leonardo DiCaprio says,

This is what she wears during the scene when Leonardo DiCaprio says, “I’m king of the world!” Of course, I’m sure the raft could fit her and Jack. Seriously, Jack shouldn’t have died. Still, Rose was a mutant born with super insulating skin that made her withstand extremely freezing temperatures. That’s why she survived the Titanic.

76. Experience the magic of Rio with your very own Brazilian Barbie.

Of course, she has a knitted blanket over her white dress. Not only that, but she's just the right skin color of many Brazilians.

Of course, she has a knitted blanket over her white dress. Not only that, but she’s just the right skin color of many Brazilians. A really good way to represent the country.

77. Welcome to the haunted mansion with your hostess Haunted Matron Barbie.

You might want to stay close to the candles because the stairways can be quite treacherous. Also, it might contain all kinds of things that might want to kill you.

You might want to stay close to the candles because the stairways can be quite treacherous. Also, it might contain all kinds of things that might want to kill you.

78. Enjoy the carefree South Pacific Islands with your very own Polynesian Barbie.

Of course, being from the South Pacific, she always has to be covered in vines and flowers. Still, love her blue and flowery dress. Wonder if Polynesian Ken looks like Troy Polamalu though.

Of course, being from the South Pacific, she always has to be covered in vines and flowers. Still, love her blue and flowery dress. Wonder if Polynesian Ken looks like Troy Polamalu though.

79. For those who love to laugh, this Carol Burnett fashion doll is just perfection.

Can't do a post on fashion dolls without including this one. Love her Scarlett O'Hara curtain dress by the way.

Can’t do a post on fashion dolls without including this one. Love her Scarlett O’Hara curtain dress by the way. “I saw it the window and just had to have it.”

80. Experience the magical world of Harry Potter with this Harry Potter fashion doll.

Now they have a lot of Harry Potter fashion dolls out there. Still, I have yet to see a fashion doll of Yule Ball Ron Weasley. Now that would be funny.

Now they have a lot of Harry Potter fashion dolls out there. Still, I have yet to see a fashion doll of Yule Ball Ron Weasley. Now that would be funny.

81. Of course, when it comes to First Ladies, you can’t talk about fashion legacies without this Jackie Kennedy fashion doll.

Now this is the outfit she was wearing when her husband got shot in Dallas. Not sure what to think about the doll company who made this. Yeah, it's kind of insensitive but it was an iconic look.

Now this is the outfit she was wearing when her husband got shot in Dallas. Not sure what to think about the doll company who made this. Yeah, it’s kind of insensitive but it was an iconic look.

82. Join in the luau with your very own Hawaiian Barbie.

Nothing says Hawaii than a flower lei and a grass hula skirt. Comes with her own sea turtle. Hope the volcano doesn't blow.

Nothing says Hawaii than a flower lei and a grass hula skirt. Comes with her own sea turtle. Sad that she doesn’t have a coconut shell bra.

83. Those who love Mommie Dearest and Mildred Pierce certainly can’t go without their very own Joan Crawford fashion doll.

Of course, we're not sure how much is true about Mommie Dearest since a lot of people who knew her spoke out against it. However, she certainly looks lovely in this black and white dress.

Of course, we’re not sure how much is true about Mommie Dearest since a lot of people who knew her spoke out against it. However, she certainly looks lovely in this black and white dress.

84. May the odds be in your favor with your very own Katniss Everdeen fashion doll.

This is her from Catching Fire when she had to go back to the arena for the Quarter Quell. Still, they have quite a few Hunger Games fashion dolls. Love to see how many Effie Trinket has.

This is her from Catching Fire when she had to go back to the arena for the Quarter Quell. Still, they have quite a few Hunger Games fashion dolls. Love to see how many Effie Trinket has.

85. Relive the golden days of Tudor England with this fashion doll of Elizabeth I.

Yes, she wore a lot of big dresses in her day. However, contrary to the Cate Blanchett movies, if she was a virgin when she became queen, she'd more likely remain one for the rest of her life (since she had no privacy whatsoever and knew how to keep it in her pants). Also, it's very likely that she remained single for good politics.

Yes, she wore a lot of big dresses in her day. However, contrary to the Cate Blanchett movies, if she was a virgin when she became queen, she’d more likely remain one for the rest of her life (since she had no privacy whatsoever and knew how to keep it in her pants). Also, it’s very likely that she remained single for good politics.

86. Rule the universe with your very own Space Queen Barbie.

Looking at these Barbie sci-fi outfits makes me wonder if they have any David Bowie Ken dolls. Ziggy Stardust comes to my mind.

Looking at these Barbie sci-fi outfits makes me wonder if they have any David Bowie Ken dolls. Ziggy Stardust comes to my mind.

87. Stroll down the streets of Paris with your very own French Barbie.

Of course, French Barbie wouldn't be French without her beret and baguette. Then again, she might also like to have a laid back European lifestyle the French are famous for.

Of course, French Barbie wouldn’t be French without her beret and baguette. Then again, she might also like to have a laid back European lifestyle the French are famous for.

88. Travel throughout Middle Earth with this fashion doll of Legolas.

Yes, this is the Middle Earth heartthrob that jump started Orlando Bloom's career. And his dad isn't bad looking either and even rides on a deer as well as has his own antler throne.

Yes, this is the Middle Earth heartthrob that jump started Orlando Bloom’s career. And his dad isn’t bad looking either and even rides on a deer as well as has his own antler throne.

89. Commemorate the royal wedding with Ken and Barbie as Will and Kate.

Hard to believe that these two now have two little kids named George and Charlotte. Well, I think it's nice that the royals allowed William to marry whom he wanted and when he wanted. I don't think it was the case with his dad.

Hard to believe that these two now have two little kids named George and Charlotte. Well, I think it’s nice that the royals allowed William to marry whom he wanted and when he wanted. I don’t think it was the case with his dad.

90. This Lady Liberty Barbie is clad in red, white, and blue.

Yes, it's kind of emphasizes that Barbie might be America's Sweetheart. However, at least she has a rather friendly disposition and tries to be accommodating to diversity. Unlike the blonde women of Fox News.

Yes, it’s kind of emphasizes that Barbie might be America’s Sweetheart. However, at least she has a rather friendly disposition and tries to be accommodating to diversity. Unlike the blonde women of Fox News.

91. Vampire Queen Barbie wants to suck your blood.

One of the only Barbie dolls I've seen with fangs so far. I'm sure Hapless Human Ken doesn't have much time to live. Love the hair and dress, by the way.

One of the only Barbie dolls I’ve seen with fangs so far. I’m sure Hapless Human Ken doesn’t have much time to live. Love the hair and dress, by the way.

92. Grim Reaper Barbie shows up when your time is up.

She may look dark but she's never good or evil. Do not resist her when she comes to collect you because you can't.

She may look dark but she’s never good or evil. Do not resist her when she comes to collect you because you can’t.

93. Mexican Dress Barbie always travels with her little chihuahua.

Now Mexican Barbie is clad in a pink dress striped with lace and ribbons. Of course, I wonder if there's a Mexican Ken as well. Then again, he might be dressed as a more stereotypical bandito.

Now Mexican Barbie is clad in a pink dress striped with lace and ribbons. Of course, I wonder if there’s a Mexican Ken as well. Then again, he might be dressed as a more stereotypical bandito.

94. Chinese Empress Barbie rules in Imperial splendor.

Of course, she's clad in yellow and pink from almost head to toe. We should remember that in Dynastic China, only the Imperial family were allowed to wear yellow. Everyone else wasn't.

Of course, she’s clad in yellow and pink from almost head to toe. We should remember that in Dynastic China, only the Imperial family were allowed to wear yellow. Everyone else wasn’t.

95. Explore the cultures and wildlife of Africa with this African Barbie doll.

Just so you know, Africa is a nation of highly diverse wildlife, nations, and cultures. I only called this doll African Barbie since I have no idea which country she's supposed to be from. Yet, I know it's either from the west or the south.

Just so you know, Africa is a nation of highly diverse wildlife, nations, and cultures. I only called this doll African Barbie since I have no idea which country she’s supposed to be from. Yet, I know it’s either from the west or the south.

96. Lead your very own Rebel Alliance with your very own Princess Leia fashion doll.

This is the Slave Leia one from Return of the Jedi. It's one of Princess Leia's iconic looks. Of course, Jabba the Hutt better watch out.

This is the Slave Leia one from Return of the Jedi. It’s one of Princess Leia’s iconic looks. Of course, Jabba the Hutt better watch out.

97. Now you can be your own superheroine with Wonder Woman Barbie.

Now Wonder Woman is one of the more definitive female superheroes. However, I don't think fighting crime in a cape and scantily clad outfit is a good message to send to young girls.

Now Wonder Woman is one of the more definitive female superheroes. However, I don’t think fighting crime in a cape and scantily clad outfit is a good message to send to young girls.

98. Celebrate the tribal culture in Africa with South African Barbie.

Now this is a good representation of African tribes. A lot of women in Africa are actually dress like that and in a lot of different groups, too.

Now this is a good representation of African tribes. A lot of women in Africa are actually dress like that and in a lot of different groups, too.

99. Publicity Tour Barbie is certainly ready for the experience.

Yes, she's on her long tour with style and sophistication. Of course, she comes with an agent who's pressuring her into this.

Yes, she’s on her long tour with style and sophistication. Of course, she comes with an agent who’s pressuring her into this.

100. Now Hard Rock Cafe Bass Barbie has decorated her instrument with style.

Of course, she also has a lot of tattoos on her arm as well. But she seems to have a lot of good taste. Sure this doll wasn't made for kids.

Of course, she also has a lot of tattoos on her arm as well. But she seems to have a lot of good taste. Sure this doll wasn’t made for kids.

To Have and to Hold Wedding Cake Toppers

discount-wedding-cake-toppers

Now last year I did a post on wedding cakes which has received a lot of views since July. But even so, most wedding cakes usually have decorations of some sort, particularly on the top. Now toppers usually range from a floral arrangement with fake flowers to the traditional standing bride and groom. And a lot of times, you can customize as you and significant others please. However, despite this being a food post, most of what I have to feature isn’t at all edible and sometimes tends to be used as a keepsake. For instance, my grandparents have their wedding cake topper. Nevertheless, while I can tell you of all the great wedding cake toppers out there, you probably wouldn’t want to hear it since it would be quite boring and sentimental that it’ll make you puke in sheer boredom. So instead I’ll show wedding cake toppers that should never be on wedding cakes or see a wedding reception. I mean you have to wonder why couples would ever want them gracing their cakes. So for your reading pleasure, here are some ill-advised wedding cake toppers you shouldn’t put on your wedding cake. Some of these might not be safe for work.

1. All right, get him to the altar kicking and screaming where it’s legal.

I know it's a gay marriage cake but still. It's basically abduction if you really think about it, even if the guys are in tuxedos. And it being a gay wedding cake, it might have certain unfortunate implications to some people.

I know it’s a gay marriage cake but still. It’s basically abduction if you really think about it, even if the guys are in tuxedos. And it being a gay wedding cake, it might have certain unfortunate implications to some people.

2. As in fairy tales, if you kiss a frog it’s said to turn into a prince.

Still, I'm sure if you kiss a frog he may still be a frog. And even if he's a prince, he could still be a jerk. Seriously, the frog in the Frog Prince story was a jerk who thinks good deeds to girls should get him laid.

Still, I’m sure if you kiss a frog he may still be a frog. And even if he’s a prince, he could still be a jerk. Seriously, the frog in the Frog Prince story was a jerk who thinks good deeds to girls should get him laid.

3. Sometimes the bride can just be too big that they fall into the cake.

Now while overweight women do get married (and not always to overweight men), this is just pretty insulting to them. Seriously, why does this cake topper even exist for God's sake?

Now while overweight women do get married (and not always to overweight men), this is just pretty insulting to them. Seriously, why does this cake topper even exist for God’s sake?

4. Nothing makes a better wedding cake topper than one paying tribute to a movie about a woman being pursued by her 12 feet tall and 800 pound city ravaging stalker.

Enjoy your honeymoon in New York City. Hope you like your view from the top of the Empire State Building. Seriously, King Kong is a very twisted love story if you really think about it.

Enjoy your honeymoon in New York City. Hope you like your view from the top of the Empire State Building. Seriously, King Kong is a very twisted love story if you really think about it.

5. Seems like she’s caught him by the buttocks. Now she just has to reel him in.

I'm sure if this guy wants to get loose, all he has to do is take his pants off. Then again, the hook might've dug into his skin by now.

I’m sure if this guy wants to get loose, all he has to do is take his pants off. Then again, the hook might’ve dug into his skin by now. But I’m not sure if he’ll take it hook, line, and sinker.

6. “By the power vested in me, I now pronounce you horse and unicorn head.”

Of course, you might think it's demented. But keep in mind that a couple is actually wearing such masks in the background. Still, very demented.

Of course, you might think it’s demented. But keep in mind that a couple is actually wearing such masks in the background. Still, very demented as a cake topper of which your family members may never really understand.

7. Grace your wedding cake with the Dark Knight and his Catwoman bride.

Yeah, I'm sure a marriage between Batman and Catwoman would seem like a match made in heaven. But keep in mind, Batman is a psychological wreck with childhood induced PTSD who thinks dressing up as a bat as well as acts that his brand of vigilante justice and vengeance will honor his dead parents' memories. And Catwoman, well, she's a habitual thief and possibly can't be trusted.

Yeah, I’m sure a marriage between Batman and Catwoman would seem like a match made in heaven. But keep in mind, Batman is a psychological wreck with childhood induced PTSD who thinks dressing up as a bat as well as acts that his brand of vigilante justice and vengeance will honor his dead parents’ memories. And Catwoman, well, she’s a habitual thief and possibly can’t be trusted.

8. Now this wedding cake topper has the ultimate bridezilla.

Let me guess, their honeymoon will probably consist of storming the streets of Tokyo. It will probably be an utter disaster, for the Japanese at least.

Let me guess, their honeymoon will probably consist of storming the streets of Tokyo. It will probably be an utter disaster, for the Japanese at least.

9. This zombie wedding cake topper will show how true love lasts forever, even beyond the grave or during a zombie apocalypse.

Sure this might be a great wedding cake topper, if you plan to get married on Halloween. Otherwise, I'm sure nobody wants to think about zombie hordes hungry for your brains on what's supposed to be a happy occasion.

Sure this might be a great wedding cake topper, if you plan to get married on Halloween. Otherwise, I’m sure nobody wants to think about zombie hordes hungry for your brains on what’s supposed to be a happy occasion.

10. Awww….Alien marries Predator. Isn’t that sweet?

I bet you any money that this cake topper was the groom's idea in this wedding. Besides, since they already came out with Alien vs. Predator, I'm not sure if I'd think a Alien/Predator marriage would even work out. Then again, they might kill each other in the process, which may be fine by me.

I bet you any money that this cake topper was the groom’s idea in this wedding. Besides, since they already came out with Alien vs. Predator, I’m not sure if I’d think a Alien/Predator marriage would even work out. Then again, they might kill each other in the process, which may be fine by me.

11. Sometimes the secret to getting a man is to lasso him in.

This bride's face reads:

This bride’s face reads: “Hmm…doesn’t seem like much, but he’ll do just the same.” Seriously, lassos are for cows, not men, especially at the neck.

12. I call this one “Armed in Matrimony.”

Because marriage is all about you and your partner against the rest of the world. Seems like the bride really loves her shotgun, perhaps a bit too much. Then again, at least the guns are for hunting as far as I know.

Because marriage is all about you and your partner against the rest of the world. Seems like the bride really loves her shotgun, perhaps a bit too much. Then again, at least the guns are for hunting as far as I know.

13. Get married and then spend your wedding day texting on your smartphones.

Now I have nothing against weddings but on your special day, mobile devices should be off limits at least until the honeymoon. Seriously, a cell phone interruption is the last thing you want at a wedding.

Now I have nothing against technology but on your special day, mobile devices should be off limits at least until the honeymoon. Seriously, a cell phone interruption is the last thing you want at a wedding.

14. “Ah…can I just play one more level of Halo?” “No way, Jose!”

Sorry, buddy, but it's game over for you. Now pick up yourself by your bootsraps and grow up. Then again, I wonder if the bride is dragging him to the altar a little too soon.

Sorry, buddy, but it’s game over for you. Now pick up yourself by your bootsraps and grow up. Then again, I wonder if the bride is dragging him to the altar a little too soon.

15. Ah…there’s nothing like romantic moment like love at first fight.

I'm sure these two are only marrying each other because they want children and feel that they couldn't find someone better. They can't stand each other. Then again, they can be in a romantic comedy, which in this case would make them utterly perfect for each other.

I’m sure these two are only marrying each other because they want children and feel that they couldn’t find someone better. They can’t stand each other. Then again, they can be in a romantic comedy, which in this case would make them utterly perfect for each other.

16. Seems like this bride really loves her new husband’s cheeks.

Okay, I'm sure that would be hard to explain to the children. Nothing to see here, kids. You'll find out when you're older.

Okay, I’m sure that would be hard to explain to the children. Nothing to see here, kids. You’ll find out when you’re older.

17. Congratulations to Mr. Right and Mrs. Always Right.

And it seems that Mrs. Always Right really wants to rub it in to Mr. Right. I'm not sure why. But she probably wants to show who's boss.

And it seems that Mrs. Always Right really wants to rub it in to Mr. Right. I’m not sure why. But she probably wants to show who’s boss.

18. Of course, weddings can be stressful. And after the big day, you just want to relax.

I can understand why the groom would want to kick back on his recliner and TV after the altar trip. Wish the bride could have something to relax on, too.

I can understand why the groom would want to kick back on his recliner and TV after the altar trip. Wish the bride could have something to relax on, too.

19. “Don’t make me aim my shotgun at you.”

I'm sure if you need a shotgun to stop a runaway groom, then I'm not sure if you should marry him. Him complying would be fear not love. And in romance, it's better to be loved than feared and hated.

I’m sure if you need a shotgun to stop a runaway groom, then I’m not sure if you should marry him. Him complying would be fear not love. And in romance, it’s better to be loved than feared and hated.

20. Seems like the latest wedding craze for brides is having their groom on a leash.

Now either this is utterly humiliating for the groom or some kind of BDSM routine. But by the look of their faces, it seems to lean toward the former for some reason.

Now either this is utterly humiliating for the groom or some kind of BDSM routine. But by the look of their faces, it seems to lean toward the former for some reason.

21. These two newlyweds are as crazy as a couple of mad rabbits.

Sure rabbits are supposed to be cute little balls of fur. These are not in any way. Still, I'd watch out for the bride if I were you. She has a skillet and isn't afraid to use it, and I'm not sure for cooking.

Sure rabbits are supposed to be cute little balls of fur. These are not in any way. Still, I’d watch out for the bride if I were you. She has a skillet and isn’t afraid to use it, and I’m not sure for cooking.

22. For your under the sea wedding theme, it’s best to have your wedding cake topped with a couple of mermice.

What the fuck? Seriously, this is fucked up beyond belief. How in the hell would anyone think that putting a fishtail on the animal you call an exterminator for is cute?I mean the person who came up with an idea like this must be a. a hippie who had too much brown acid at Woodstock, b. a mad scientist, c. a rogue taxidermist or some old timey impresio wanting to make a buck, or d. all of the above.

What the fuck? Seriously, this is fucked up beyond belief. How in the hell would anyone think that putting a fishtail on the animal you call an exterminator for is cute?I mean the person who came up with an idea like this must be a. a hippie who had too much brown acid at Woodstock, b. a mad scientist, c. a rogue taxidermist or some old timey impresario wanting to make a buck, or d. all of the above.

23. For those men about to marry significantly older women, a Harold and Maude wedding cake topper would do just fine.

Sure it's a 1970s film about a barely legal emo teen and a geriactric bohemian old enough to be his grandma. But still, at least it has a good storyline, a strong female lead, and a Cat Stevens soundtrack. Also, at least it's not a romance between 17 year old girl and a 107-year old vampire who hangs out at her high school. Now that would be very creepy.

Sure it’s a 1970s film about a barely legal emo teen and a geriactric bohemian old enough to be his grandma. But still, at least it has a good storyline, a strong female lead, and a Cat Stevens soundtrack. Also, at least it’s not a romance between 17 year old girl and a 107-year old vampire who hangs out at her high school. Now that would be very creepy.

24. “By the power vested in me, I pronounce you Chucky and Bride of Chucky.”

Okay, I think if my grandma saw this wedding cake topper she'd remark on how cute it was until she took a closer look. Yeah, I'm sure a topper of homicidal dolls is what you'd want on your wedding cake. Not.

Okay, I think if my grandma saw this wedding cake topper she’d remark on how cute it was until she took a closer look. Yeah, I’m sure a topper of homicidal dolls is what you’d want on your wedding cake. Not.

25. Nothing drives the point of “till death do us part” than a couple of kissing skeletons emphasizing “how love never dies.”

Now skeletons are one thing but French kissing skeletons over a grave? Now that's crazy. Even for a wedding on Halloween.

Now skeletons are one thing but French kissing skeletons over a grave? Now that’s crazy. Even for a wedding on Halloween.

26. “I’m arresting you in the name of love for stealing my heart. You’ll be facing a lifetime of holy matrimony.”

I suppose this wedding cake topper is for a cop. Still, for a second I thought he either had her pulled over or she was giving a description of her runaway groom.

I suppose this wedding cake topper is for a cop. Still, for a second I thought he either had her pulled over or she was giving a description of her runaway groom.

27. For more innocent fun, top your wedding cake with this PlayMobil couple.

Seems like this groom just married a black widow, or a woman who'd soon become one if he's her first one. Yeah, and this is coming from a company that makes toys for children. That's pretty twisted.

Seems like this groom just married a black widow, or a woman who’d soon become one if he’s her first one. Yeah, and this is coming from a company that makes toys for children. That’s pretty twisted.

28. Seems like the couple packing heat together stays together. Then again, it’s possible that they’d probably die together, too in some domestic dispute that would go out of hand.

That groom better get off his cell phone now since I don't like the look on the bride's face. Seriously, all guns do is make these blushing newlyweds look like homicidal maniacs. Just saying.

That groom better get off his cell phone now since I don’t like the look on the bride’s face. Seriously, all guns do is make these blushing newlyweds look like homicidal maniacs. Just saying.

29. For the guy from Baltimore getting married, this Baltimore Ravens cake topper is for you.

I could imagine my Aunt Jane's husband recommending this cake topper for one of his kids when any of them get married. Still,  I'm sure those aren't taxidermied ravens since I'm sure the real birds are bigger.

I could imagine my Aunt Jane’s husband recommending this cake topper for one of his kids when any of them get married. Still, I’m sure those aren’t taxidermied ravens since I’m sure the real birds are bigger.

30. For a little bit of night life, top your wedding cake with a couple of bats.

Okay, now this might seem fine for Halloween. But for any other time of year, it's just batty. I mean there's a reason why we don't associate weddings with bats.

Okay, now this might seem fine for Halloween. But for any other time of year, it’s just batty. I mean there’s a reason why we don’t associate weddings with bats.

31. For your winter wedding you can’t do worse than a Snow Queen cake topper.

Okay, now despite that Frozen was inspired by the Snow Queen story. The tale is about a magical ice queen who abducts a child and keeps him in her castle for a long time. Hardly a subject for a wedding cake topper.

Okay, now despite that Frozen was inspired by the Snow Queen story. The tale is about a magical ice queen who abducts a child and keeps him in her castle for a long time. Hardly a subject for a wedding cake topper.

32. Seems like he either did something wrong or she made love like a praying mantis.

Okay, now this headless groom topper would be great for a divorce cake. But a wedding cake, c'mon, it's disturbing. Seriously, the bride looks like as if she's a new black widow than a new wife.

Okay, now this headless groom topper would be great for a divorce cake. But a wedding cake, c’mon, it’s disturbing. Seriously, the bride looks like as if she’s a new black widow than a new wife.

33. The family who stays together plays video games together.

And it seems that the bride is beating the groom every time. Hmmm..maybe the woman he married wasn't as bad in video games as he thought.

And it seems that the bride is beating the groom every time. Hmmm..maybe the woman he married wasn’t as bad in video games as he thought.

34. Marriage is tying your beloved to a chair and threatening to cutting them up with a chainsaw.

Okay, who in the hell would want a wedding cake topper like this? This is utterly like something you'd see from your worst nightmares. Not on a wedding cake.

Okay, who in the hell would want a wedding cake topper like this? This is utterly like something you’d see from your worst nightmares. Not on a wedding cake.

35. In the Lovecraftian universe, a Cthulhu wedding cake topper guarantees that you don’t have to orchestrate total global annihilation alone.

Of course, Cthulhu and his bride are basically evil Eldritch Abominations who wish to destroy the earth in oblivion. Not something you'd want to put on a wedding cake. But, hey, don't judge me.

Of course, Cthulhu and his bride are basically evil Eldritch Abominations who wish to destroy the earth in oblivion. Not something you’d want to put on a wedding cake. But, hey, don’t judge me.

36. Nothing makes a great wedding cake than having it topped by two figures from Halo.

I guess the bride is the pink one. How could I have thought of that pray tell. Still, wonder how they'll manage when, "you may kiss the bride," are heard.

I guess the bride is the pink one. How could I have thought of that pray tell. Still, wonder how they’ll manage when, “you may kiss the bride,” are heard.

37. Seems like these two aren’t having a good start.

Now this isn't a good way to start a marriage. Once again, seems more appropriate for a divorce cake.

Now this isn’t a good way to start a marriage. Appears that these two are so mad that they’re giving each other the silent treatment. Once again, seems more appropriate for a divorce cake.

38. “By the power vested in me, I now pronounce you Batman and Robin.”

Of course, if you're thinking about the 1960s series, Batman and Robin's sexuality comes as no surprise. Still, I don't classify Batman as relationship material, since he really needs to see a therapist.

Of course, if you’re thinking about the 1960s series, Batman and Robin’s sexuality comes as no surprise. Still, I don’t classify Batman as relationship material, since he really needs to see a therapist.

39. The couple who stays together gets drunk together.

Actually alcoholics make terrible marriage partners, even to each other. Couples who drink together don't really stay together unless they go to rehab to get sober together. Seriously, marrying an alcoholic will certainly increase your chances of divorce.

Actually alcoholics make terrible marriage partners, even to each other. Couples who drink together don’t really stay together unless they go to rehab to get sober together. Seriously, marrying an alcoholic will certainly increase your chances of divorce.

40. For the couple who enjoys the James Bond movies, this wedding cake topper is for you.

Seems more like Mr. and Mrs. Smith to me. And let's just say, it seemed like a marriage between two assassins trying to kill each other. Thus, more like a match made in hell.

Seems more like Mr. and Mrs. Smith to me. And let’s just say, it seemed like a marriage between two assassins trying to kill each other. Thus, more like a match made in hell.

41. “No way to run princess, you’re coming with me.”

Seems like the guy is more anxious to get married than the bride is. Then again, the bride probably wants to frolic in the open countryside and smell the flowers.

Seems like the guy is more anxious to get married than the bride is. Then again, the bride probably wants to frolic in the open countryside and smell the flowers.

42. When getting a girl, try to lure her with something shiny and she’ll fall for it hook, line, and sinker.

I'm sure she'll probably be in it for the jewelry. Of course, she's not picky about the diamond size. But that doesn't prevent her from being suspected as a gold digger.

I’m sure she’ll probably be in it for the jewelry. Of course, she’s not picky about the diamond size. But that doesn’t prevent her from being suspected as a gold digger.

43. “Can’t talk, honey, I’m running late for my golf game.”

Then again, at least I can be confident isn't built like a gorgeous Swedish model and the groom doesn't look anything like Tiger Woods. Still, I'm sure things between them are fine.

Then again, at least I can be confident isn’t built like a gorgeous Swedish model and the groom doesn’t look anything like Tiger Woods. Still, I’m sure things between them are fine.

44. Here comes the bride….oh, wait, she’s still shopping.

Hope she makes it back in time to get married. I'd hate to see her keeping her groom hanging like that. Seriously, no woman in her right mind would want to shop on her wedding day.

Hope she makes it back in time to get married. I’d hate to see her keeping her groom hanging like that. Seriously, no woman in her right mind would want to shop on her wedding day.

45. It’s the bride at the bat with her groom pitching toward home plate.

Seems like the groom is in very close proximity. Hope the bride doesn't hit a fast ball. I'm sure it wouldn't look good for the groom.

Seems like the groom is in very close proximity. Hope the bride doesn’t hit a fast ball. I’m sure it wouldn’t look good for the groom.

46. Nothing makes a wedding cake better than a topper of the bride and groom on cell phones barely paying any attention to one another.

I'm not sure if these two are supposed to be talking to each other. However, it certainly doesn't look like it. Seriously, unless one of you has a relative in the hospital, cell phones should be off at all times during weddings.

I’m not sure if these two are supposed to be talking to each other. However, it certainly doesn’t look like it. Seriously, unless one of you has a relative in the hospital, cell phones should be off at all times during weddings.

47. For horse lovers, nothing makes a better wedding cake topper than one of horses entwined together.

Now it's one thing to have horses on your wedding cake, especially if you're both horse lovers. But entwined horses, that's just pushing the envelope into tacky if you ask me.

Now it’s one thing to have horses on your wedding cake, especially if you’re both horse lovers. But entwined horses, that’s just pushing the envelope into tacky if you ask me.

48. “Remember, Barry, chapel first, hunting lodge later.”

And it seems like the bride has the shotgun in hand to make sure her groom complies. Seriously, this is kind of crazy. Then again, the sign did state, "No Hunting."

And it seems like the bride has the shotgun in hand to make sure her groom complies. Seriously, this is kind of crazy. Then again, the sign did state, “No Hunting.”

49. Seems like these two are nuzzling up like a couple of earthworms.

Earthworms on a wedding cake topper? Seriously? I mean they're slimy ground dwelling creatures for God's sake. There's nothing cute about them whatsoever.

Earthworms on a wedding cake topper? Seriously? I mean they’re slimy ground dwelling creatures for God’s sake. There’s nothing cute about them whatsoever.

50. “May you two be mounted together in the sacred bond of holy matrimony.”

Now having mounted deer on a wedding cake. That's just, well, tacky to say the least. Still, these two seemed to be together whether they like it or not. Nevertheless, the antler rings are in poor taste.

Now having mounted deer on a wedding cake. That’s just, well, tacky to say the least. Still, these two seemed to be together whether they like it or not. Nevertheless, the antler rings are in poor taste.

51. This NASCAR wedding cake topper will ensure your way to the finish line.

Of course, this would've been a perfectly nice wedding cake topper if it didn't have the checkered flags on it. Yeah, that just looks tacky to say the least. Perhaps they should cover the bride and groom with corporate sponsor logos, too.

Of course, this would’ve been a perfectly nice wedding cake topper if it didn’t have the checkered flags on it. Yeah, that just looks tacky to say the least. Perhaps they should cover the bride and groom with corporate sponsor logos, too.

52. Nothing makes a wedding cake better than a topper consisting of pigs with wings.

I'll highly recommend this topper to any couple about to get married....when pigs fly. Seriously, this almost make tacky flamingo lawn ornaments look like the Venus de Milo.

I’ll highly recommend this topper to any couple about to get married….when pigs fly. Seriously, this almost make tacky flamingo lawn ornaments look like the Venus de Milo.

53. Nothing says true love like a wedding cake topper of two disembodied hands joined together as one.

Now unlike some of the creepier cake toppers, this one is supposed to elicit heartwarming feelings. However, it's just plain creepy and terrifying.

Now unlike some of the creepier cake toppers, this one is supposed to elicit heartwarming feelings. However, it’s just plain creepy and terrifying.

54. For the die hard motorcycle fans, this wedding cake topper is one you can’t miss.

Now a motorcycle wedding cake topper is one thing. But one in a field of lace? Now that's in poor taste. Just because lace is pretty and Harleys seem badass, doesn't mean that the two should go together.

Now a motorcycle wedding cake topper is one thing. But one in a field of lace? Now that’s in poor taste. Just because lace is pretty and Harleys seem badass, doesn’t mean that the two should go together.

55. Nothing makes a circus themed wedding more festive than wedding cake toppers like these clowns.

Now I'm not sure why anyone would want a circus themed wedding. Still, this clown couple is pretty much the epitome of tacky. You're better off with a topper of Cirque du Soleil.

Now I’m not sure why anyone would want a circus themed wedding. Still, this clown couple is pretty much the epitome of tacky. You’re better off with a topper of Cirque du Soleil.

56. Nothing says “I love you” like a cute deer who’s about to get himself shot on your wedding cake.

Like how the groom is dressed up like Davy Crockett in a suit. Yeah, really seems like he's going to bring home a buck. Hope it has 3 or more points or else it ain't legal to shoot.

Like how the groom is dressed up like Davy Crockett in a suit. Yeah, really seems like he’s going to bring home a buck. Hope it has 3 or more points or else it ain’t legal to shoot.

57. As the old saying, marriage is the old ball and chain.

Seems like this bride is going to have her groom locked to the ball for awhile. And he doesn't seem to be too happy about it. Now I know this is from an old saying. But still, there are plenty of men around who want to get married.

Seems like this bride is going to have her groom locked to the ball for awhile. And he doesn’t seem to be too happy about it. Now I know this is from an old saying. But still, there are plenty of men around who want to get married.

58. Newlyweds are supposed to be happy as a couple of pigs in the lilacs.

Now this would make a perfectly good wedding cake topper, if it weren't for the pigs in it. Seriously, why put pigs on a wedding cake? They're  not cuddly creatures.

Now this would make a perfectly good wedding cake topper, if it weren’t for the pigs in it. Seriously, why put pigs on a wedding cake? They’re not cuddly creatures.

59. “I’ll get you to the altar, even if I have to drag you myself with my bare hands.

Okay, this sort of looks like in a movie when the bad guy captures the princess as he drags her into his lair with a creepy smile. Yeah, not a good scenario here.

Okay, this sort of looks like in a movie when the bad guy captures the princess as he drags her into his lair with a creepy smile. Yeah, not a good scenario here.

60. For those who think the zombie and skeleton wedding cake toppers weren’t creepy enough, this one is for you.

Now this is downright terrifying. Can't imagine what kind of couple having this on their wedding cake would actually look like. Then again, maybe I could and just don't want to imagine it.

Now this is downright terrifying. Can’t imagine what kind of couple having this on their wedding cake would actually look like. Then again, maybe I could and just don’t want to imagine it.

61. “I now pronounce you Bigfoot and the Abominable Snowman.”

Now while we can agree sasquatches and yetis tend to look similar, I'm not sure if they'd be able to get together. I mean one's in the Pacific Northwest while the other's in the Himalayas. So it's all a matter of geography.

Now while we can agree sasquatches and yetis tend to look similar, I’m not sure if they’d be able to get together. I mean one’s in the Pacific Northwest while the other’s in the Himalayas. So it’s all a matter of geography.

62. Seems like someone really likes to shop at the best retailers. I wonder who.

Now I hope she's not just marrying the poor guy for the money here. Because all that merchandise she has with her doesn't look cheap to me.

Now I hope she’s not just marrying the poor guy for the money here. Because all that merchandise she has with her doesn’t look cheap to me.

63. May you love, honor, cherish, and stand your ground.

Just when you think you've seen enough wedding cake toppers with guns on them, they come out with another one. Now I get that a lot of people like guns but still hate to put my politics in this, but guns kill people. It's their purpose. And you wonder why we can't get gun control.

Just when you think you’ve seen enough wedding cake toppers with guns on them, they come out with another one. Now I get that a lot of people like guns but still hate to put my politics in this, but guns kill people. It’s their purpose. And you wonder why we can’t get gun control.

64. Seems like it’s all downhill from here.

I'm not sure skiing down from a multi-tiered wedding cake is going to be good for these figurines. Perhaps this couple is going on a ski resort for their honeymoon.

I’m not sure skiing down from a multi-tiered wedding cake is going to be good for these figurines. Perhaps this couple is going on a ski resort for their honeymoon.

65. “I now pronounce you Optimus Prime and Megantron.”

Hmmm....didn't know they had a pink Transformer. Then again, robots don't have gender anyway. Still, a few explosions and it would be like the live action Michael Bay series that keeps making money despite not having plot.

Hmmm….didn’t know they had a pink Transformer. Then again, robots don’t have gender anyway. Still, a few explosions and it would be like the live action Michael Bay series that keeps making money despite not having plot.

66. “You may spank the bride.”

This could easily be a wedding cake topper of a tuxedoed guy and a stripper, not to be stereotypical. The bridal outfit could just be a costume.

This could easily be a wedding cake topper of a tuxedoed guy and a stripper, not to be stereotypical. The bridal outfit could just be a costume.

67. When it comes to marriage, a lot of times it’s just give or take.

Unfortunately, this guy seems to treat his gold digging bride as if she was a stripper at some nightclub in Las Vegas. Seriously, this is a terrible piece for a wedding cake? What kind of couple would want this?

Unfortunately, this guy seems to treat his gold digging bride as if she was a stripper at some nightclub in Las Vegas. Seriously, this is a terrible piece for a wedding cake? What kind of couple would want this?

68. Of course, since a lot of people like bacon, it’s only fitting that I show a bacon wedding cake topper.

Of course, having bacon topped on your wedding cake really emphasizes the "till death do we part" construct. And by, "death" I mean cardiovascular disease.

Of course, having bacon topped on your wedding cake really emphasizes the “till death do we part” construct. And by, “death” I mean cardiovascular disease.

69. When it comes to weddings, some couples can’t keep their hands off each other.

Seems like this couple were among those who saved sex until marriage and they just want to get it on the first chance they get. Save it for the honeymoon, kids.

Seems like this couple were among those who saved sex until marriage and they just want to get it on the first chance they get. Save it for the honeymoon, kids.

70. Seems like this groom is running the ball with the wife on his back.

I'm sure running the ball with a bride on your back is hard, especially with a bunch of guys from the other team going after you. Then again, maybe that's why the bride is on his back. True teamwork spirit, man.

I’m sure running the ball with a bride on your back is hard, especially with a bunch of guys from the other team going after you. Then again, maybe that’s why the bride is on his back. True teamwork spirit, man.

71. For a western wedding theme, go with a wedding cake topper of horses.

I don't know about you, but the top part seems to be made from cheap plastic crap from China. I think it would've been fine with just the flowers. Seriously, why?

I don’t know about you, but the top part seems to be made from cheap plastic crap from China. I think it would’ve been fine with just the flowers. Seriously, why?

72. For many, marriage means being happily handcuffed together for life.

Seems to me that the bride is an undercover cop as I see with the hidden gun in the holster. And the groom is the crook. Either way, this wedding cake topper looks very sleazy to say the least.

Seems to me that the bride is an undercover cop as I see with the hidden gun in the holster. And the groom is the crook. Either way, this wedding cake topper looks very sleazy to say the least.

73. No wedding cake topper emphasizes your love for the great outdoors than one depicting a couple of moose.

At least the female of the pair is depicted right in this topper. Not like in the nativity scene set in which every adult figure has antlers, including the Virgin Mary.

At least the female of the pair is depicted right in this topper. Not like in the nativity scene set in which every adult figure has antlers, including the Virgin Mary. Yeah.

74. Sick of figurines, how about top your wedding cake off with a sparkly crown?

Seriously, a crown for a wedding cake? For God's sake shouldn't the bride be a princess for the day?  Also, why does this even exist?

Seriously, a crown for a wedding cake? For God’s sake shouldn’t the bride be a princess for the day? Also, why does this even exist?

75. Understand that relationships are all about faith and trust, which you two will definitely need when fighting off the zombie apocalypse.

I'm sure your wedding sucked if you spent the reception basically killing off zombie wedding guests. I mean weddings are supposed to be happy occasions. A zombie plague at the reception isn't.

I’m sure your wedding sucked if you spent the reception basically killing off zombie wedding guests. I mean weddings are supposed to be happy occasions. A zombie plague at the reception isn’t.

76. Sorry, buddy, but you will be hers and she will make you one of them.

Of course, there's a popular notion that certain men don't want to get married. However, I think when it comes to zombie brides, this guy seems to have a valid excuse. Seriously, nobody wants to be eaten or catch zombie plague.

Of course, there’s a popular notion that certain men don’t want to get married. However, I think when it comes to zombie brides, this guy seems to have a valid excuse. Seriously, nobody wants to be eaten or catch zombie plague.

77. Seems like these two got themselves a bridegroom.

Of course, if the bride wasn't so anxious to get to the altar, who knows what would've happened to him. Because I'd sure wouldn't want to leave him alone with the bipedal buck packing heat.

Of course, if the bride wasn’t so anxious to get to the altar, who knows what would’ve happened to him. Because I’d sure wouldn’t want to leave him alone with the bipedal buck packing heat.

78. Seems like she’s the one wearing the pants in the relationship, literally.

Now I'm sure the groom is quite embarrassed to be seen without his trousers. Still, this is in pretty poor taste if you think about it.

Now I’m sure the groom is quite embarrassed to be seen without his trousers. Still, this is in pretty poor taste if you think about it.

79. Now this bride has managed to catch a fish and her man.

I'm sure the big one didn't get away this time, but I'm not sure which one it is. Still, not sure if it makes a great wedding cake topper.

I’m sure the big one didn’t get away this time, but I’m not sure which one it is. Still, not sure if it makes a great wedding cake topper.

80. “Get your drunken ass off the floor for we’re going to the chapel.

Now if one of you is found drinking with beer cans on the day of your wedding, I think you should really reconsider going through with it. Seriously, alcoholics make terrible spouses and calling it off may be a waste of money now but it will save you a lot of potential divorce costs in the long run.

Now if one of you is found drinking with beer cans on the day of your wedding, I think you should really reconsider going through with it. Seriously, alcoholics make terrible spouses and calling it off may be a waste of money now but it will save you a lot of potential divorce costs in the long run.

Fun with Action Figures

Let’s get one thing straight. Action figures are basically dolls, no matter how you look at it. Sure you may not treat them like a baby doll but c’mon, the inspiration for G. I. Joe was Barbie. Not to mention, they can sometimes have hair and removable clothes as well as have moveable parts. But unlike most of the traditional dolls you think of, they’re mainly for boys (but could be for either sex) usually consisting of superheroes and popular characters from their Saturday morning cartoons. I know franchises love selling action figures since it gives them lots of money in more ways than ticket or DVD sales. Merchandising popular media was partly the reason why Disney has become the conglomerate it has.Of course, we all had them at one time in our childhood or another. Nevertheless, while some of these figures I’ll show might be remnants from your childhood, others go on the unconventional of what many would see what an action figure could be. And some of them will tend to make you question their very existence. So without further adieu, here are some wonderful and not so wonderful action figurines you might want to see.

1. From the Six Million Dollar Man, we have the Bionic Bigfoot.

You can press Bionic Bigfoot's crotch to reveal his insides. Nevertheless, this basically the closest thing you'll find to a Sasquatch Beast than anything you'd see on The History Channel.

You can press Bionic Bigfoot’s crotch to reveal his insides. Nevertheless, this basically the closest thing you’ll find to a Sasquatch Beast than anything you’d see on The History Channel.

2. Sail the high seas robbing merchant ships with the notorious Bristol born pirate Captain Blackbeard.

Of course, he comes with multiple guns and a big ass 17th century sword. Nevertheless, unlike the real Blackbeard, he doesn't set fire to his beard or shoot members of his crew (allegedly). Also, though not a nice man, his cruelty might be exaggerated for publicity's sake.

Of course, he comes with multiple guns and a big ass 17th century sword. Nevertheless, unlike the real Blackbeard, he doesn’t set fire to his beard, contract STDs, or shoot members of his crew (allegedly). Also, though not a nice man, his cruelty might be exaggerated for publicity’s sake.

3. Give your son a male nurse action figure to encourage him in the nursing profession.

Comes with his own stethoscope and X-Ray. Nevertheless, even if a boy does have aspirations of being a male nurse, I highly doubt he'd want this action figure. Seriously, I applaud for trying to bring down gender stereotypes but boys will still find this one lame.

Comes with his own stethoscope and X-Ray. Nevertheless, even if a boy does have aspirations of being a male nurse, I highly doubt he’d want this action figure. Seriously, I applaud for trying to bring down gender stereotypes but boys will still find this one lame.

4. Introduce your kids to the first and world’s greatest escape artist, the one and only Harry Houdini.

Comes with his own chair, handcuffs, straitjacket, rope, and leg irons. Of course, the only thing that he can't escape is a burst appendix in 1926. Then again, he basically inspired such "magicians" as David Blaine and Criss Angel.

Comes with his own chair, handcuffs, straitjacket, rope, and leg irons. Of course, the only thing that he can’t escape is a burst appendix in 1926. Then again, he basically inspired such “magicians” as David Blaine and Criss Angel.

5. As far as writer action figures go, nobody could beat the wit and witticisms of Oscar Wilde.

Of course, he will kick anyone who'd mess with him with his pimp cane while dressed in his flamboyant Victorian outfit. Nevertheless, his witticisms won't protect him in the 1890s when he's outed and imprisoned for homosexuality.

Of course, he will kick anyone who’d mess with him with his pimp cane while dressed in his flamboyant Victorian outfit. Nevertheless, his witticisms won’t protect him in the 1890s when he’s outed and imprisoned for homosexuality.

6. As Johann Sebastian Bach said, “If it ain’t Baroque, don’t fix it.”

Sure he comes with his own seat. Yet, most of the time you'll find him at church all day as the organist which means he has to sweep the floors, instruct the choir, and compose a new cantata by Sunday. All while supporting a family that would have 10 out 20 children survive to adulthood. Yet, he won't get any recognition of his music until Felix Mendlesohn discovered him in the 1800s.

Sure he comes with his own seat. Yet, most of the time you’ll find him at church all day as the organist which means he has to sweep the floors, instruct the choir, and compose a new cantata by Sunday. All while supporting a family that would have 10 out 20 children survive to adulthood. Yet, he won’t get any recognition of his music until Felix Mendelssohn discovered him in the 1800s.

7. Recreate the world of Prohibition and the 1920s underworld with gangster Lt. Commander Data?

Seriously, why have an android in a 1920s gangster outfit with his own gun, glass, booze bottle, and typewriter? Did Next Generation have a 1920s Prohibition episode? I mean at least 1920s action figures of Kirk and Spock would make more sense.

Seriously, why have an android in a 1920s gangster outfit with his own gun, glass, booze bottle, and typewriter? Did Next Generation have a 1920s Prohibition episode? I mean at least 1920s action figures of Kirk and Spock would make more sense.

8. Under the cover of night, medieval archer Batman lurks in the forests outside ye olde Gotham City.

From io9: "If modern Batman refuses to use firearms, shouldn't medieval Batman refuse to resort to archery? Just saying." Yeah, I guess this person has a point. Nevertheless, he does have a big ass longbow. Still, wonder why they don't have Batman as a medieval knight.

From io9: “If modern Batman refuses to use firearms, shouldn’t medieval Batman refuse to resort to archery? Just saying.” Yeah, I guess this person has a point. Nevertheless, he does have a big ass longbow. Still, wonder why they don’t have Batman as a medieval knight. I mean wouldn’t it make more sense to have him be one instead of one of Robin Hood’s Merry Men?

9. Kick ass in medieval and Warring States Japan with this Samurai Batman,

From Amazon: "The legendary figure of Batman existed in ancient Japan as Samurai Batman, a brave and strong warrior who pitted his skills against the evil warlords, or "daimyo". Armed with his powerful, slashing "no-dachi" sword and protected by a customized samurai armor costume, Samurai Batman swept across the countryside, cutting down villainy and protecting villages at every turn. On the battlefield, Samurai Batman could always be identified by his "hata-jirushi" banner which streamed behind him in every conflict, striking fear into the hearts of his opponents. Samurai Batman's glittering new metallic costume dazzles his opponents, allowing him precious seconds to strike! This red-carded repainted variant was only available in the Warner Brothers stores." Really, protecting villages? I mean samurai were the "daimyo" lackeys for God's sake.  And they basically were no better than your standard medieval soldier in Europe. Still, I think "Ninja Batman" would make more sense since most Japanese ninjas were samurai anyway.

From Amazon: “The legendary figure of Batman existed in ancient Japan as Samurai Batman, a brave and strong warrior who pitted his skills against the evil warlords, or “daimyo”. Armed with his powerful, slashing “no-dachi” sword and protected by a customized samurai armor costume, Samurai Batman swept across the countryside, cutting down villainy and protecting villages at every turn. On the battlefield, Samurai Batman could always be identified by his “hata-jirushi” banner which streamed behind him in every conflict, striking fear into the hearts of his opponents. Samurai Batman’s glittering new metallic costume dazzles his opponents, allowing him precious seconds to strike!” Really, protecting villages? I mean samurai were the daimyo’s vassals.  Still, I think “Ninja Batman” would make more sense since most Japanese ninjas were samurai anyway.

10. For those who love the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles and westerns, you will love this Bandito Michelangelo.

This is sort of a cross between TNMT and The Treasure of the Sierra Madre. And I can see Bandito Mike say, "Badges, to god-damned hell with badges! We have no badges. In fact, we don't need badges. And cowabunga with the pizza, dude!"

This is sort of a cross between TNMT and The Treasure of the Sierra Madre. And I can see Bandito Mike say, “Badges, to god-damned hell with badges! We have no badges. In fact, we don’t need badges, cowabunga, dude!”

11. Compose your own 5th Symphony with an action figure of Ludwig van Beethoven.

This would've been a perfect toy for Schroeder from Peanuts since he's a big Beethoven fan. Still, he's basically the quintessential great composer known for going deaf, having messy digs and poor hygiene, violent mood swings, and a possible death from lead poisoning.

This would’ve been a perfect toy for Schroeder from Peanuts since he’s a big Beethoven fan. Still, he’s basically the quintessential great composer known for going deaf, having messy digs and poor hygiene, violent mood swings, and a possible death from lead poisoning. Ear trumpets not included.

12. These sports playing Spiderman action figures will do well with any boy on your list.

For one, Spiderman is supposed to be Peter Parker who is better known for getting bullied by jocks than actually be one. Secondly, if Spiderman played sports, he'd do it as Peter Parker without the suit on in the first place. Seriously, why do these figures even exist?

For one, Spiderman is supposed to be Peter Parker who is better known for getting bullied by jocks than actually be one. Secondly, if Spiderman played sports, he’d do it as Peter Parker without the suit on in the first place. Also, I’m sure radioactive spider venom is an illegal performance enhancing substance. Seriously, why do these figures even exist?

13. Free the Hebrews of Egypt and let your people go with this action figure of Moses.

Comes with Ten Commandments and staff. Staff doesn't change into snake nor does it part the Red Sea. Yet, don't put him near any Golden Calves. Also, has a very nasty temper.

Comes with Ten Commandments and staff. Staff doesn’t change into snake nor does it part the Red Sea. Yet, don’t put him near any Golden Calves. Also, has a very nasty temper.

14. There’s never a problem that can be solved with Nancy Pearl Deluxe Librarian Action Figure.

Comes with her own computer, desk, and book collection. Of course, you must keep quiet around her at all times since people are trying to read at the library, you know.

Comes with her own computer, book cart, and book collection. Of course, you must keep quiet around her at all times since people are trying to read at the library, you know.

15. Make sure your action figures have their needs met with this school lunch lady action figure.

Comes with lunch counter, scoop, food tray and 9 lunch stickers that includes fish sticks and jello. Yet, keep in mind that she possesses a secret superpower called, "mystery meat."

Comes with lunch counter, scoop, food tray and 9 lunch stickers that includes fish sticks and jello. Yet, keep in mind that she possesses a secret superpower called, “mystery meat.”

16. No one can ever cross the wretched lair of the crazy cat lady.

This animal hoarder comes with 6 different kind of cats besides the one on her neck. Of course, it's unknown whether they're fixed or breeding into the feral population. Yet, expect her on the evening news.

This animal hoarder comes with 6 different kind of cats besides the one on her neck. Of course, it’s unknown whether they’re fixed or breeding into the feral population. Yet, expect to see her on the evening news when she gets arrested for animal cruelty.

17. For the aspiring business major in college, an action figure of marketing guru Seth Godin makes a great gift.

Comes with a self-help book and mismatched socks. Of course, he's a real guy who's actually wrote a bunch of books and has a blog as well as a website called Squidoo. So yes, he's real.

Comes with a self-help book and mismatched socks. Of course, he’s a real guy who’s actually wrote a bunch of books and has a blog as well as a website called Squidoo. So yes, he’s real.

18. Bring out your dead! Bring out your dead with this dead collector action figure.

Comes with his triangle and wooden club. Death cart not included. Courtesy of Monty Python and the Holy Grail. Want this.

Comes with his triangle and wooden club. Death cart not included. Courtesy of Monty Python and the Holy Grail. Want this.

19. Protect your castle with this Rude Frenchman action figure from Monty Python and the Holy Grail.

Yes, they have a French Taunter action figure, too!  Sure nothing would make it any better than to have it say things like, "I don't want to talk to you no more, you empty-headed animal food trough wiper! I fart in your general direction! Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries!"

Yes, they have a French Taunter action figure, too! Sure nothing would make it any better than to have it say things like, “I don’t want to talk to you no more, you empty-headed animal food trough wiper! I fart in your general direction! Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries!”

20. Show your kids the true value of Jesus’ message with this Camo Jesus “I Am Peace” action figure.

Comes with his own battle gear, soldier helmet, machine gun, dove, and golden crown of thorns. Okay, you know Jesus came to this world to advocate peace, right? So why is he full decked in camo and battle gear? I mean you don't wear all that for dove hunting.

Comes with his own battle gear, soldier helmet, machine gun, dove, and golden crown of thorns. Okay, you know Jesus came to this world to advocate peace, right? So why is he full decked in camo and battle gear? I mean you don’t wear all that for dove hunting.

21. Be all dressed to pick up chicks at your fancy dress masquerade with this Casanova action figure.

Comes with his own pull away mask that he could put on in his tireless pursuit of adventure. From Amazon: "Giovanni Giacomo Casanova was a soldier, an author, a spy, a gambler and a librarian. But all of those things pale in comparison to his reputation as a lover. His memoirs contain detailed accounts of his intimate relations with over 100 women!" Unfortunately, sexual conquests and memoirs not included. Yet, I'd rather have this guy than Christian Grey or Edward Cullen.

Comes with his own pull away mask that he could put on in his tireless pursuit of adventure. From Amazon: “Giovanni Giacomo Casanova was a soldier, an author, a spy, a gambler and a librarian. But all of those things pale in comparison to his reputation as a lover. His memoirs contain detailed accounts of his intimate relations with over 100 women!” Unfortunately, sexual conquests and memoirs not included. Yet, I’d rather have this guy than Christian Grey or Edward Cullen despite the possibility Casanova may have STDs.

22. Bring in the Spirit of the French Revolution with this action figure of the Austrian born French Queen Marie Antoinette.

Comes with a removable dress, removable wig, and removable head. Of course, though a subject of great controversy with her extravagant lifestyle (though not the only one to blame), she was more of a scapegoat since she knew nothing of her incompetent husband's policy. All the bad stuff said about her was just all French Revolution Era propaganda.

Comes with a removable dress, removable wig, and removable head. Of course, though a subject of great controversy with her extravagant lifestyle (though not the only one to blame), she was more of a scapegoat since she knew nothing of her incompetent husband’s policy. All the bad stuff said about her was just all French Revolution Era propaganda.

23. Travel down on the farm with Farmer Donatello and his wife-beater wearing crow on his tractor.

Comes with a scythe, pick, tractor, and wife-beater wearing crow. Still, why does Donatello have a corn cob pipe in his mouth? Aren't cartoon superheroes supposed to set a good example? Still, this is pretty lame.

Comes with a scythe, pick, tractor, and wife-beater wearing crow. Still, why does Donatello have a corn cob pipe in his mouth? Aren’t cartoon superheroes supposed to set a good example? Still, this is pretty lame.

24. Travel back in the Stone Age ring with this Rocky II caveman action figure.

Comes in a saber tooth tiger outfit equipped with his own club. Of course, when you think about it, Stallone really can be a convincing Cro Magnon but that's all I can say about his acting range.

Comes in a saber tooth tiger outfit equipped with his own club. Of course, when you think about it, Stallone really can be a convincing Cro Magnon but that’s all I can say about his acting range.

25. Have an Hawaiian adventure with “Chuckles” G. I. Joe.

Or as I call it, "G. I. Joe attending a Jimmy Buffet concert." Yes, soon he'll be wasting away again in Margaritaville. And possibly the only adventure he'll go on is searching for his lost shaker of salt.

Or as I call it, “G. I. Joe attending a Jimmy Buffet concert.” Yes, soon he’ll be wasting away again in Margaritaville. And possibly the only adventure he’ll go on is searching for his lost shaker of salt.

26. Join Batman in defeating the Penguin’s henchmen consisting of Commando Penguins.

So there you go kids, the Penguin's henchmen are actually real penguins with little penguin weapons they could use. Well, until they have to back to their breeding grounds and pass eggs to each other. Of course, Cracked may have it right saying, "There's no way enough of these toys sold to offset the cost of the liquor it took to design them."

So there you go kids, the Penguin’s henchmen are actually real penguins with little penguin weapons they could use. Well, until they have to back to their breeding grounds and pass eggs to each other. Of course, Cracked may have it right saying, “There’s no way enough of these toys sold to offset the cost of the liquor it took to design them.”

27. Go undercover with Ravishing Reporter April O’Neil in the seedy underworld of prostitution, which is an adventure that doesn’t include the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles.

Comes with dagger and detachable skirt. Purpose mostly is for basically to fuel adolescent fantasies. Still, there's no doubt that April's supposed to be of the oldest profession here but seriously, sex trafficking isn't an appropriate subject for a Saturday morning cartoon.

Comes with dagger, video camera, makeup brush battle bro, katana blade curling iron, lipstick nunchucku, and detachable skirt. Purpose mostly is for basically to fuel adolescent fantasies. Still, there’s no doubt that April’s supposed to be of the oldest profession here but seriously, sex trafficking isn’t an appropriate subject for a Saturday morning cartoon.

28. Paint your masterpiece with the help of this action figure of the tortured artist Vincent van Gogh.

Comes with an easel, 4 paintings, a frame, pallet, paintbrush, and 2 detachable heads. One of the normal van Gogh and one after he cut off part of his ear. May suffer from malnutrition, violent mood swings, money problems, and suicidal tendencies. Available until he gets shot in an open field.

Comes with an easel, 4 paintings, a frame, pallet, paintbrush, and 2 detachable heads. One of the normal van Gogh and one after he cut off part of his ear. May suffer from malnutrition, violent mood swings, money problems, and suicidal tendencies. Available until he gets shot in an open field.

29. If you bring your loved one a shrubbery, perhaps a Knight of Ni action figure would do nicely.

Comes with antler helmet, fur outfit, and herring. Shrubbery not included. Still, those who hear the Knights Who Say Ni seldom live to tell the tale! I mean they're keepers of the sacred words Ni, Peng, and Neee-wom! Still, if they try forcing you to cut down a tree with a herring, try saying "it."

Comes with antler helmet, fur outfit, and herring. Shrubbery not included. Still, those who hear the Knights Who Say Ni seldom live to tell the tale! I mean they’re keepers of the sacred words Ni, Peng, and Neee-wom! Still, if they try forcing you to cut down a tree with a herring, try saying “it.”

30. No Catholic boy who’s had his First Holy Communion should go without an action figure of His Holiness himself.

Comes with a holy cross kali stick, a walther PPK handgun, and wearing a Vatican assault uniform? Jesus Christ, why the fuck does this exist? Seriously, the Holy Pontiff doesn't even have all that stuff! Still, I'd love to sent one of these to Pope Francis to see what he thinks. Probably would give the holy facepalm.

Comes with a holy cross kali stick, a Walther PPK handgun, and wearing a Vatican assault uniform? Jesus Christ, why the fuck does this exist? Seriously, the Holy Pontiff doesn’t even have all that stuff! Still, I’d love to sent one of these to Pope Francis to see what he thinks. Probably would give the holy facepalm. I mean this goes against everything the Holy Office stands for.

31. For the psychology major in your life, why don’t you give them an action figure of Dr. Sigmund Freud?

Comes with cigar, couch not included. Also, said to talk saying, "Tell me about your mother." Amazon states, "Put him on your desk or nightstand to inspire you to explore the depths of your unconscious and embrace the symbolism of your dreams. " Creepy.

Comes with cigar, couch not included. Also, said to talk saying, “Tell me about your mother.” Amazon states, “Put him on your desk or nightstand to inspire you to explore the depths of your unconscious and embrace the symbolism of your dreams. ” Creepy. Also said to be very into cocaine.

32. If you love Richard Wagner’s Ring Cycle operas, then you’ll love this Wagner action figure.

Comes with baton, an ego the size of Germany, and rampant antisemitism. Nevertheless, don't make his fandom among the Nazis discourage you. Still, you can hear his music in a famed Bugs Bunny cartoon.

Comes with baton, an ego the size of Germany, and rampant antisemitism. Nevertheless, don’t make his fandom among the Nazis discourage you. Still, you can hear his music in a famed Bugs Bunny cartoon.

33. For you girls who enjoy literature from the British Regency, here’s your own one of a kind Jane Austen action figure.

Comes with book, writing desk, and quill pen. Mr. Darcy and Lizzy Bennett not included. Also available in pink. Nevertheless, if you think Pride and Prejudice and Zombies was controversial, you should've seen the British establishment when she came on the literary scene. I mean they thought the idea of a female novelist was an outrage.

Comes with book, writing desk, and quill pen. Mr. Darcy and Lizzy Bennett not included. Also available in pink. Nevertheless, if you think Pride and Prejudice and Zombies was controversial, you should’ve seen the British establishment in the early 19th century when she came on the literary scene. I mean they thought the idea of a female novelist was an outrage.

34. Revisit all the very bad stuff about Victorian England with this one of a kind action figure of Charles Dickens.

Comes with his very own quill pen. Oliver Twist, Tiny Tim, Little Nell, Wackford Squeers, Sidney Carton, Uriah Heep, Miss Havisham, Little Dorrit, and Ebenezer Scrooge not included. Also, has a bunch of kids and leaves his wife for some actress. The jerk.

Comes with his very own quill pen. Oliver Twist, Tiny Tim, Little Nell, Wackford Squeers, Sidney Carton, Uriah Heep, Miss Havisham, Little Dorrit, and Ebenezer Scrooge not included. Also, has a bunch of kids and leaves his wife for some actress. The jerk.

35. Relive the vibrant culture of Renaissance Florence under the Medicis with this action figure of Renaissance man Leonardo da Vinci.

 Comes with paintbrush, 4 paintings, frame, and easel. Last Supper, sketches, and inventions not included. Moves to France later in life. Not to mention, is gay and left-handed. Also was never involved in  secret organization that believed Jesus had a child with Mary Magdalene (sorry, Dan Brown).

Comes with paintbrush, 4 paintings, frame, and easel. Last Supper, sketches, and inventions not included. Moves to France later in life. Not to mention, is gay and left-handed. Also was never involved in secret organization that believed Jesus had a child with Mary Magdalene (sorry, Dan Brown).

36. Discover the true meaning of the Gospel with Deluxe Miracle Jesus action figure.

Comes with 2 loves of fishes, 5 loaves of bread, and a water jug that changes water into wine (not really). Cross and 12 apostles not included. Nevertheless, this is actually one of the better Jesus action figures I've seen so far.

Comes with 2 loves of fishes, 5 loaves of bread, and a water jug that changes water into wine (not really). Cross and 12 apostles not included. Nevertheless, this is actually one of the better Jesus action figures I’ve seen so far.

37. Now you can be part of the serial killing action with these Dexter dolls.

The left one is Dexter Kill Suit which comes with apron, scrubs, hand saw, and welder's mask. The right Bif Bang Pow! Dexter comes with a blood slide, knife, and trash bag. Plastic wrap, victim, and other kill room accessories not included.

The left one is Dexter Kill Suit which comes with apron, scrubs, hand saw, and welder’s mask. The right Dexter comes with a blood slide, knife, and trash bag. Plastic wrap, victim, and other kill room accessories not included.

38. Relive the 8th to 11th century Europe as a seafaring Scandinavian raider with this Dog Soldiers Viking action figure.

Comes with shield, sword, axe, dagger, and spear. Nevertheless, unlike what you'd see in popular media representations like on sports team logos and Wagner operas, this is more or less what Vikings actually looked like.

Comes with shield, sword, axe, dagger, and spear. Nevertheless, unlike what you’d see in popular media representations like on sports team logos and Wagner operas, this is more or less what Vikings actually looked like. Seriously, they didn’t wear horned helmets in battle.

39. Enjoy your favorite scary stories from high school English class with this one of a kind action figure of Edgar Allan Poe.

Comes with his own raven that may or may not say "Nevermore." Still, while best known for his tales of mystery and the macabre within American Romantic literature, was also said to invent the detective story. Available until found dead on a street in Baltimore in 1849.

Comes with his own raven that may or may not say “Nevermore.” Still, while best known for his tales of mystery and the macabre within American Romantic literature, was also said to invent the detective story. Available until found dead on a street in Baltimore in 1849.

40. This Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart action figure is bound to kick ass faster than you can say, “Eine Kleine Nacht Musik.

Comes with his own piano stool. Prone to play pranks and compose great operas and concertos. Loves fart jokes and bathroom humor. Available until 1791 when he succumbs to a long illness while composing the Requiem Mass at 35.

Comes with his own piano stool. Prone to play pranks and compose great operas and concertos. Loves fart jokes and bathroom humor. Available until 1791 when he succumbs to a long illness while composing the Requiem Mass at 35.

41. Help your child come out of the closet with Gay Bob.

From Top Tenz: "From his platinum blond hair, tight jeans, plaid shirt, and the whole closet theme, who wouldn’t want this doll? I just love the plethora of stereotypes. Even the way he is positioned is just, perfect. Oh and the best part, it’s made for everyone. Imagine getting this as a present. Boy, the conversations that would go down then." Yeah, I wonder how a kid would react getting this for a birthday present.

From Top Tenz: “From his platinum blond hair, tight jeans, plaid shirt, and the whole closet theme, who wouldn’t want this doll? I just love the plethora of stereotypes. Even the way he is positioned is just, perfect. Oh and the best part, it’s made for everyone. Imagine getting this as a present. Boy, the conversations that would go down then.” Yeah, I wonder how a kid would react getting this for a birthday present.

42. Sword fighting has never been so much fun than with this Black Knight action figure from Monty Python and the Holy Grail.

Comes with his own sword and removable limbs. Still, even as he's dismembered will still think losing a limb is just a scratch or flesh wound and will still keep fighting. None shall pass, indeed. Of course, at the end tends to say, "Oh, oh, I see! Running away, eh? You yellow bastards! Come back here and take what's coming to you! I'll bite your legs off!"

Comes with his own sword and removable limbs. Still, even as he’s dismembered will still think losing a limb is just a scratch or flesh wound and will still keep fighting. None shall pass, indeed. Of course, at the end tends to say, “Oh, oh, I see! Running away, eh? You yellow bastards! Come back here and take what’s coming to you! I’ll bite your legs off!”

43. Have your kid live the high times of the Third Reich with this Adolf Hitler action figure.

Comes with his own hat, Nazi podium, and speakers. Nazis and death camp not included. Still, I would never recommend anyone to get this guy since, well, you know he started WWII and orchestrated the Holocaust. Yet, it just amazes me that there's even a Hitler action figure available. Seriously, why?

Comes with his own hat, Nazi podium, and speakers. Nazis and death camp not included. Still, I would never recommend anyone to get this guy since, well, you know he started WWII and orchestrated the Holocaust. Yet, it just amazes me that there’s even a Hitler action figure available. Seriously, why?

44. Have your son experience the swell service of where Dad held his bachelor party with his very own Hooters girl action figure.

Comes with her own serving dish. Still, I'm certainly not making this up. Yet, even I am baffled as to why such toy exists. Seriously, it's like having a female action figures consisting of strippers and prostitutes. I mean, why?

Comes with her own serving dish. Still, I’m certainly not making this up. Yet, even I am baffled as to why such toy exists. Seriously, it’s like having a female action figures consisting of strippers and prostitutes. I mean, why?

45. Defend American freedom for God and Country with “Enduring Freedom” Jesus.

Comes with his own rocket launcher and ammo as well as canteen, belt, knife, and desert camo. Seriously, what the fuck? In no way can I see the Prince of Peace blowing up guys in the Middle East with his rocket launcher. I wonder what kind of nutjob can ever think of such an inappropriate and possibly offensive toy like this. Seriously, why?

Comes with his own rocket launcher and ammo as well as canteen, belt, knife, and desert camo. Seriously, what the fuck? In no way can I see the Prince of Peace blowing up guys in the Middle East with his rocket launcher. I wonder what kind of nutjob can ever think of such an inappropriate and possibly offensive toy like this. Still, can’t pass this one up.

46. Show your children the meaning of the crucifixion with this crucified Jesus Christ action figure.

Comes with ninja-messiah throwing nails and death-killer cross pumping action over-under shotgun.  What the fuck? And they have Jesus nailed to the cross in pants, sandals, and a vest comparable to a 1st century Rambo. Seriously, this Jesus figure seems more appropriate for Quentin Tarantino film. Unbelievable.

Comes with ninja-messiah throwing nails and death-killer cross pumping action over-under shotgun. What the fuck? And they have Jesus nailed to the cross in pants, sandals, and a vest comparable to a 1st century Rambo so he can rise again in 3 days and take revenge on the authorities who crucified him. Seriously, this Jesus figure seems more appropriate for Quentin Tarantino film. Unbelievable. Still, doesn’t this kind of border on the sacrilegious side? Just saying.

47. For all you well dressed Kiss fans out there, these dolls are dressed to kill.

Of course, I'm sure these guys aren't going to rock n' roll all night or party every day in these designer outfits. Still, I'd love to see how people would react if they attended a fancy dress party in full concert make up. Perhaps it would be like, "Kiss: Live with the New York Philharmonic."

Of course, I’m sure these guys aren’t going to rock n’ roll all night or party every day in these designer outfits. Still, I’d love to see how people would react if they attended a fancy dress party in full concert make up. Perhaps it would be like, “Kiss: Live with the New York Philharmonic.”

48. Explore the meaning of Buddhism and free Tibet with this action figure of the Dalai Lama.

Comes with an A-12 automatic and silencer as well as a self-aiming fire-and-forget laser pistol. What? Okay, now I know Jesus is already ascended into Heaven by now, yet there is still a Dalai Lama around who's exiled in India. And no, he isn't known in Buddhism as a "God of a Thousand Arms." Not to mention, he doesn't even believe in violence. Still, kind of feel tempted to send him one of these.

Comes with an A-12 automatic and silencer as well as a self-aiming fire-and-forget laser pistol. What? Okay, now I know Jesus is already ascended into Heaven by now, yet there is still a Dalai Lama around who’s exiled in India. And no, he isn’t known in Buddhism as a “God of a Thousand Arms.” Not to mention, he doesn’t even believe in violence. Still, kind of feel tempted to send him one of these.

49. Recreate your favorite moments from the retro TV show, The Love Boat.

Okay, these consist of Captain Stubing, Vicki, Julie, Gopher, Isaac, and Doc Bricker. Yeah, and they even have a toy ship sold separately that you can put these figures in. Sure it ran for 8 seasons and was very popular. But still, I don't think a play set tie in would do any favors for the sponsors, especially during the 1980s.

Okay, these consist of Captain Stubing, Vicki, Julie, Gopher, Isaac, and Doc Bricker. Yeah, and they even have a toy ship sold separately that you can put these figures in. Sure it ran for 8 seasons and was very popular. But still, I don’t think a play set tie in would do any favors for the sponsors, especially during the 1980s.

50. Try to get out of being drafted in the Army at  the M*A*S*H 4077th with an action figure depicting Corporal Klinger in drag.

Wardrobe not included. Yes, guys, they made an toy of Klinger in drag. Still, it's actually the most popular toy from the series and goes for a pretty penny on eBay. Yet, imagine getting a toy depicting a guy in pink bloomers and a flower in his hair for your nephew. Yeah, that would be quite traumatic for some parents.

Wardrobe not included. Yes, guys, they made an toy of Klinger in drag. Still, it’s actually the most popular toy from the series and goes for a pretty penny on eBay. Yet, imagine getting a toy depicting a guy in pink bloomers and a flower in his hair for your nephew. Yeah, that would be quite traumatic for some parents.

51. Mexican children need not fear, Mexi-Action El Supermano action figure is here.

Comes with his own sombrero. Nevertheless, I have to admit, Superman sure can pull off that Latin lover look from south of the border. Still, I think Mexican kids would rather have a regular Superman action figure than this one. Not to mention, "hombre" is the correct term for "man" in Spanish.

Comes with his own sombrero. Nevertheless, I have to admit, Superman sure can pull off that Latin lover look from south of the border. Still, I think Mexican kids would rather have a regular Superman action figure than this one. Not to mention, “hombre” is the correct term for “man” in Spanish.

52. Encourage harmful body practices to boys with these Muscle Beach Boys action figures. This one is “Dumbell Dwayne.”

Now really, bodybuilding is just a really terrible thing for any boy to get into. Seriously a lot of those guys take performance enhancing drugs to get in that shape and have an ego spanning a mile wide. Not to mention, they tend to be very aggressive.. Still, Dwayne is what people like my sister call, a "lunk."

Comes with his own weights. Now really, bodybuilding is just a really terrible thing for any boy to get into. Seriously a lot of those guys take performance enhancing drugs to get in that shape and have an ego spanning a mile wide. Not to mention, they tend to be very aggressive.. Still, Dwayne is what people like my sister call, a “lunk.”

53. Celebrate the Christmas season with these action figures from A Christmas Story.

Now this set includes: Ralphie with his Rough Rider BB gun, the Old Man with his Leg Lamp, Flick with his tongue sticking to flag pole, Mom, and Randy. They also have Scut Farkas and Ralphie in a pink bunny suit for those interested.

Now this set includes: Ralphie with his Rough Rider BB gun, the Old Man with his Leg Lamp, Flick with his tongue sticking to flag pole, Mom, and Randy. They also have Scut Farkas and Ralphie in a pink bunny suit for those interested.

54. Make your OCD a blast with this Obsessive Compulsive Man.

Includes a surgical mask and a sanitary, hypo-allergenic, moist towlette. Of course, it's said to inspire you to keep clean by any means necessary. And on the back, there's a card on "A Day in the Life of an OC Action Figure." Nevertheless, I'm not sure if this designer really understood OCD or just did his research by watching Monk.

Includes a surgical mask and a sanitary, hypo-allergenic, moist towlette. Of course, it’s said to inspire you to keep clean by any means necessary. And on the back, there’s a card on “A Day in the Life of an OC Action Figure.” Nevertheless, I’m not sure if this designer really understood OCD or just did his research by watching Monk.

55. For those who wish to relive the glory days of the 2008 election, here’s your very own Sarah Palin action figure.

Now I'm no fan of Sarah Palin at all. I think she's just scary demagogue of the Radical Right of the Republican Party. Yet, I think Top Tenz can say it best: "The grimace on her face is just creepy, for lack of a better word. It just screams, “You betcha!” There’s no way I’d put this thing in my house. For all those men who find Sarah to be sexy, well…this action figure does her no justice. I guess the short skirts, low-cut shirts, and bare mid-drifts do something, but man, that face, that face." Has 3 different outfits.

Now I’m no fan of Sarah Palin at all. I think she’s just scary demagogue of the Radical Right of the Republican Party. Yet, I think Top Tenz can say it best: “The grimace on her face is just creepy, for lack of a better word. It just screams, “You betcha!” There’s no way I’d put this thing in my house. For all those men who find Sarah to be sexy, well…this action figure does her no justice. I guess the short skirts, low-cut shirts, and bare mid-drifts do something, but man, that face, that face.”

56. Show your kid the glory of God the Father Almighty with this bad ass God action figure.

Comes with Kalashnikov AK-47 assault rifle and hallowed cloak of invulnerability, what? First off, though I believe in God as a Catholic, this action figure  certainly doesn't reflect my religious beliefs. Like myself, I believe God does not desire an AK-47, does not want an AK-47, and has no need of an AK-47. Besides, He's basically invulnerable, all-powerful, and ever-living so why he's equipped with an invulnerable cloak and AK-47 is just plain ridiculous.

Comes with Kalashnikov AK-47 assault rifle and hallowed cloak of invulnerability, what? First off, though I believe in God as a Catholic, this action figure certainly doesn’t reflect any of my religious beliefs. Like myself, I believe God has no desire for an AK-47, has no want of an AK-47, and has no need of an AK-47. Besides, He’s basically invulnerable, all-powerful, and ever-living so why he’s equipped with an invulnerable cloak and AK-47 is just plain ridiculous.

57. Go on your own Grail quest with this action figure of Tim the Enchanter from Monty Python and the Holy Grail.

Comes with his own staff and accessories. Magic powers not available. However, please keep him away from fluffy white rabbits and heed the words when he says, "Follow. But! Follow only if ye be men of valor! For the entrance to this cave is guarded by a creature so foul, so cruel, that no man yet has fought with it... and lived! BONES of full fifty men lie *strewn* about its lair! So! Brave knights! If you do doubt your courage or your strength, come no further, for death awaits you all with nasty, big, pointy teeth..."

Comes with his own staff and accessories. Magic powers not available. However, please keep him away from fluffy white rabbits and heed the words when he says, “Follow. But! Follow only if ye be men of valor! For the entrance to this cave is guarded by a creature so foul, so cruel, that no man yet has fought with it… and lived! BONES of full fifty men lie *strewn* about its lair! So! Brave knights! If you do doubt your courage or your strength, come no further, for death awaits you all with nasty, big, pointy teeth…”

58. Venture Camelot and seek the Holy Grail with these action figures of King Arthur and his knights from Monty Python and the Holy Grail.

Now this consists of Arthur, King of the Britons, Sir Bedevere the Wise and Flatulent, Sir Lancelot the Homicidally Brave, Sir Galahad the Not-So-Pure, and Sir Robin the Not-So-Brave as Sir Lancelot. Each come with their own weapons. Coconut banging squires sold separately. Horses. scales, duck, and minstrels not included.

Now this consists of Arthur, King of the Britons, Sir Bedevere the Wise and Flatulent, Sir Lancelot the Homicidally Brave, Sir Galahad the Not-So-Pure, and Sir Robin the Not-So-Brave as Sir Lancelot. Each come with their own weapons. Coconut banging squires sold separately. Horses. scales, duck, and minstrels not included.

59. See what it takes to be a real mom with this Super Mom action figure.

Comes with baby, cell phone, purse, groceries, high heels, sneakers, curler and regular heads, and a long to do list. Absentee workaholic dad, older children, and Xanax not included.

Comes with baby, cell phone, purse, groceries, high heels, sneakers, curler and regular heads, and a long to do list. Absentee workaholic dad, older children, and Xanax not included.

60. Seek the ultimate Nirvana enlightenment with this kick ass Buddha action figure.

Comes with fighting staff Magnum 66 Automatic and invincible holy orange cape. Seriously, wasn't the Buddha known for peace and seeking enlightenment? So why the hell does he have an automatic weapon on him? Looks like Christianity isn't the only religion badly portrayed in action figures.

Comes with fighting staff Magnum 66 Automatic and invincible holy orange cape. Seriously, wasn’t the Buddha known for peace and seeking enlightenment? So why the hell does he have an automatic weapon on him? Looks like Christianity isn’t the only religion badly portrayed in action figures.

61. Go on all kinds of early American adventures with this Benjamin Franklin action figure.

Comes with kite. Printing press, newspaper, Poor Richard's Almanac, inventions, and French whores not included. From Amazon: "Benjamin Franklin did a lot more than fly a kite on his way to becoming one of the most intelligent men in history. At various times throughout his life he was a writer, diplomat, businessman, musician, inventor, scientist, politician, humorist, printer, postmaster, philosopher, and statesman. His many accomplishments include inventing swimming fins and bifocals, establishing the University of Pennsylvania, publishing the Poor Richard's Almanac and signing the Declaration of Independence as a founding father of the United States."

Comes with kite. Printing press, newspaper, Poor Richard’s Almanac, inventions, and French whores not included. From Amazon: “Benjamin Franklin did a lot more than fly a kite on his way to becoming one of the most intelligent men in history. At various times throughout his life he was a writer, diplomat, businessman, musician, inventor, scientist, politician, humorist, printer, postmaster, philosopher, and statesman. His many accomplishments include inventing swimming fins and bifocals, establishing the University of Pennsylvania, publishing the Poor Richard’s Almanac and signing the Declaration of Independence as a founding father of the United States.”

62. All the world’s a stage with an action figure of William Shakespeare.

Comes with a quill and book of his compiled plays. Globe Theater and all-male acting troupe not included. If you're a girl, he may not think you're man enough to play Juliet since women weren't allowed on the English stage until King Charles II. Available in a ye Olde Elizabethan store near you.

Comes with a quill and book of his compiled plays. Globe Theater and all-male acting troupe not included. If you’re a girl, he may not think you’re man enough to play Juliet since women weren’t allowed on the English stage until King Charles II. Available in a ye Olde Elizabethan store near you.

63. Serve up your diner customers with this waitress action figure.

Comes with a serving tray, 2 dishes, tipping chart, explanation of tipping, and list of pet peeves. Hates being shortchanged, sexually harassed, long hours, and her job. Available until she gets a better job that she doesn't have to work at this God forsaken place.

Comes with a serving tray, 2 dishes, tipping chart, explanation of tipping, and list of pet peeves. Hates being shortchanged, sexually harassed, long hours, and her job. Available until she gets a better job that she doesn’t have to work at this God forsaken place.

64. Have a cold one in the Great White North with these Bob and Doug McKenzie action figures.