This is my cousin John in my sister’s junior prom dress. And no, he didn’t wear it to prom (they were just goofing off). But in a post devoted to prom dress fashion disasters, this is a perfect introductory photo.
After the Easter celebrations are over, junior and senior high school students all around the country prepare for the major formal high school dance of the year: prom. Prom season is the time of year when American junior and senior high school students spend countless amounts of their parents’ money on overpriced formal dresses and suits, overpriced tickets for an overpriced venue if it’s not the high school gym, overpriced hairstyles, and overpriced transportation. All just so they can attend a dance with mediocre food and music in hopes that they’d somehow get to third base in the backseat of a car without considering the possibilities of an immediate future with child support payments, STD treatments, teen pregnancy, shotgun weddings, or fucking up the rest of their lives. But it’s all portrayed as the fairytale capstone of a high school girl’s experience as well as a rite of passage in the media. Yeah, right. Now I never went to prom while in high school since I had a quiz bowl tournament in Harrisburg my junior year (with my team coming in 7th but my sister erasing all the photos from my parents’ camera. Yet, it was on PCNC). And during my senior year, I had to go to an out of state funeral for a paternal great aunt I’ve only met once in my life (who was the half-sister of a grandfather I’ve never met). Do I regret not going to prom? Hell no. Seriously, my senior year highlights were finishing in the KDKA Hometown HiQ semifinals where my team won $2,000 for the school as well as a Hall of Fame Club lunch I attended with my father, finishing second in a journalist writing contest winning $25 for myself, attending a friend’s Halloween party, and going on a trip to Disney World with my high school marching band. However, my sister went to her school prom both years and was a member of homecoming court as a senior. And so have many other high school students. Now the average high school promgoer spends an average of about $900 on prom according to the statistics on while I was in high school. So I’m sure that a lot of businesses make a killing off it. But what gets a lot of attention at prom are the overpriced formal dresses which are sometimes designed by straight male perverts and worn by 20 year old models in magazines. Now I can go on with all the pretty prom dresses out there. But you’d probably be bored to tears so I’ll show you some of the prom fashion disasters. Now I have it as Not Safe for Work because some might images might disturb the parents and that I don’t want teenagers to look at it. So without further adieu, here are some of prom’s most epic fashion catastrophes you can’t unsee.
1. Just because the dress may be great for a Civil War reenactment, doesn’t mean you should wear it for prom.
Sorry for being stereotypical here, but I’m not sure if a Southern belle dress would be seen as appropriate apparel for a black girl, historically speaking. Still, to each his own. After all, if you want to wear a dress like that to prom, that’s your business. It’s just that the dress seems like a relic of fashion from the 60s. And by that, I mean the 1860s.
2. For the girl who wants to honor her southern heritage, offend black people, show your support for Lynyrd Skynyrd, and look like a trashy redneck at the same time, then the Confederate flag dress is for you.
Of course, I’d like to know how she’ll have to explain this to her black boyfriend. Seriously, the Confederate Flag is a racist symbol since it was used by white supremacist organizations like the KKK and the Dixiecrats.
3. For those aiming for the Grecian look, may I present to you Bo Derek in her bedsheet.
Let’s just hope she’s poorer than hen shit and wearing an actual bedsheet as a prom dress. Because I really don’t want to think that her parents spent over $300 on a dress that makes her seem like a slutty Grecian harem girl.
4. Of course, it’s not just the ladies who want to get in on the formalwear action. These guys dressed as the colors of the rainbow.
Of course, while many may see these teenage boys as the innocent promgoers they are, some people in the Bible Belt conspiracy theorist might equate them with the fictitious gay mafia of their imaginations. Either that, or Willy Wonka’s fraternity.
5. While most prom dresses cost loads of money, this dress is practically made of money.
Of course, what would make this dress worse was if the money on it is real, which I’m sure isn’t. Still, doesn’t give her a good rep if she decides to use this picture for her online dating profile.
6. For those who love colors and prints, this psychedelic prom dress is perfect for you.
This dress’s design was inspired by the designer’s drug trip on the brown acid at Woodstock during his hippie days. Can you dig it, man?
7. While prom is known for elaborate hairstyles, nobody’s has seen anything nearly as spectacular as helicopter hair.
Now I know that choppers may have very little to do with prom. But I have to appreciate that this girl’s hairdresser certainly had a great sense of humor.
8. For those who love Star Wars, nothing says love at prom like dressing up as Anakin Skywalker and Queen Padme Amidala.
Of course, for those who’ve seen all the prequels, we know that their relationship doesn’t end well. Seriously, she dies of childbirth while he gets dismembered that he has to wear a Darth Vader suit. Yeah, I can understand why Jedi are forbidden to marry.
9. Nothing shows redneck pride at prom than a camo dress and a matching suit.
Unless your school’s theme for prom is based off The Deer Hunter, I would really advise against it. Seriously, camo is proper during deer season, not prom season. Get it through your heads!
10. For those who can’t afford a prom dress or don’t want one, I’m sure formal shorts and top is right for you.
Perhaps when it comes to prom dress codes for girls, you might want to go with, “Do not wear anything resembling something that Niki Minaj might wear to one of her concerts.” The guy looks kind of sleazy as well, but in a different context.
11. While some prom dresses seem like they were made to accentuate the sexiness of supermodels, sometimes designers can go too far.
Okay, someone forgot that the top part of the dress shouldn’t consist of just boob straps. Seriously, this looks incredibly slutty and it’s not helped by the girl’s expression that suggests that she’s cheap and easy.
12. For those who want to catch eyes like a peacock, you can’t go wrong with a feather train.
So that’s what they were doing with the tufts of the Truffula trees. And I thought they were just for Thneeds, whatever those are. Still, probably a main reason why the Lorax’s forest basically went to shit due to deforestation by the Oncler.
13. Of course, when it comes to skimpy prom outfits, it’s not just the girls you need to worry about.
Now the girl is actually decently dressed. The guy on the other hand, is a different story. Seriously, nobody wants to see you dressed for prom as Borat at the beach.
14. You can be the prettiest girl at prom with a dress of jewels and tie dye.
I don’t know about you but people during the 1960s and 1970s didn’t wear tie dye to prom for a reason. Guess her prom’s theme this year is Chez a la Woodstock.
15. For all you art fans out there, ever teen girl would look beautiful in this prom dress with its design inspired by the masterpieces of Jackson Pollock.
On second thought, Jackson Pollock is a horrible artist. Seriously, why spend an enormous fortune on the kind of paintings your 3 year old can make you for free? Still, this dress is just plain hideous.
16. For the girl with kaleidoscope eyes, this is the prom dress for you.
Man, just looking at this dress makes me feel like I’m tripping balls. Must be inspired by some kind of acid trip during the 1970s. Yeah, it’s enough to make your prom date’s eye sore.
17. When you really want to stand out at prom, you can’t go wrong with a dress of chartreuse.
Now if my sister or I wanted to wear a dress like this at prom, I’d know exactly what my dad would say, which is, “No way in hell.” Seriously, my Grandma C wore that color and my dad just thinks it’s bad fashion sense.
18. Of course, shopping for prom dresses might be difficult for the unfortunate teenage girls who’ve been knocked up for awhile. But sometimes even that won’t stop them from having fun.
Now being pregnant around prom time is one thing. But wearing a dress like that? Seriously, this is just in very poor taste, maybe even by cheep hooker standards. Oh, my God, why?
19. This elegant V-neck gown will make any teenage girl feel like a princess.
That or a fifth rate version of Miley Cyrus at the Oscars. Then again, she’d probably wear one that would show way less skin.
20. For prom, you can’t do wrong with a short dress and fishnet stockings.
On second thought, you definitely can. Seriously, this girl looks like a cleaned up pretty version of a back alley hooker. I mean, why would anyone let their kid wear this? Wonder if she has knee high heeled boots to go with that and she’ll be all set.
21. For a more natural prom look, may I suggest you go with animal prints?
Take my advice, I hate animal prints. I think they take a reasonable looking gown and turn it into a tacky mess of poor taste. Seriously, it looks awful.
22. When it comes to prom, there’s nothing better than having your outfit support your favorite sports team.
I suppose this coordination was the guy’s idea. Like camo, sports trademark formal wear simply doesn’t belong. Seriously, it looks really out of place.
23. May I present to you: Willy Wonka’s prom picture.
Man, they sure look happy together. Too bad Willy soon became a recluse confectioner who owned a gigantic factory run by enslaved labor. Guess this girl doesn’t regret dumping him and is now married with a family.
24. This couples prom theme: Tribute to Dippin’ Dots: Ice Cream of the Future.
I don’t see the appeal of Dippin’ Dots as Ice Cream of the Future and the only place I’ve seen it sold is Kennywood anyway. Still, guess this couple is smarter to make their prom outfits.
25. Some girls go for puffy sleeves, some not at all. This one went with spiked.
Man, guess this dress will make it difficult for her boyfriend to put his arm around her in the back of the car. Now that moment can get awkward.
26. Of course, if you love John Hughes movies, you can always wear a prom dress from the 1980s.
Hey, I didn’t know Dr. Felix Frankfurther wore a purple dress at his senior prom. Guess he’d love to do the Time Warp again to aim for a sensible look from The Rocky Horror Picture Show. Then again, maybe not.
27. From Jovani, here we have a lovely sequin gown of camouflage?
Sequin camo? What the fuck? Seriously, this woman may be pretty. But as for the girls who’d actually wear such a dress for prom, chances are they probably come from a trailer park. I mean why does this even exist?
28. For the girl going to prom, make sure your dress has all the necessary trimmings.
Two pieces? Check. Colorful animal prints? Check. Midriff jewelry? Check? Yellow ruffles? Check. May I introduce to you the quintessential trashy dress for your tacky and skanky heart’s content.
29. For those who want to shimmer in pink, this is the beautiful dress for you.
Outside is all pink and sparkles. But underneath, you have a 1970s acid fever dream. Trippy, man. I know.
30. Of course, if you’re a guy, you might want to let your parents know that your prom date is a bit unconventional when it comes to her hair.
Just love the look on that guy’s face. Still, you have to love these vintage pictures. The girl’s punk hairdo is just so out of place in this. So funny.
31. For the pregnant prom goer: when selecting a dress, I’d advise you to stay out of the Kim Kardashian maternity line.
Now this is just really bad. I mean teen pregnancy is nothing to write home about. But dressing like that to prom is skanky enough even if you don’t have a bun in the oven.
32. I call this prom dress style the slutty superheroine.
Sure she may look quite slutty, but at least she’s appears as if she’s Thor’s exotic sassy black girlfriend. Perhaps she’s an African ocean goddess of the waves.
33. For the ladies wanting a prom to be their happily ever after, you can’t go wrong with a princess ball gown.
Okay now while everything else is fine, I think the leopard print really makes this dress less than bedazzling to me. I mean no prom princess in her right mind would want to wear a gown with ugly leopard prints on it.
34. Hear ye, hear ye, may I presenth to you thy Tudor prom king and queen.
Of course, these prom outfits seem less suitable for ye olde prom and more appropriate for the ye olde Renaissance faire. Also, what’s with the codpiece? Seriously, that don’t look right.
35. For those who love Disney but hate princesses, make your prom as sweet as honey by wearing Winnie the Pooh.
Now this set up doesn’t seem skanky at all. But it’s just that years from now when their kids see this prom picture, they’ll probably be laughing their asses off. Seriously, I know the guy is going along with the Pooh theme because he wants some poo tang.
36. Prom photo or still photo of some unknown 1980s hair band?
I know it’s probably a 1980s prom picture. Yet, with those crazy hairstyles, no one can tell. Still, you gotta love the 1980s. Seems like they have so many hair products to go around.
37. When you don’t have anything for prom, when in doubt, do denim.
On second thought, no, please don’t. Most workplaces consider the material as below business casual, let alone a bad material for formal wear. Still, I don’t know which one of this couple is more likely to trip over: the girl with the train or the guy in the elephant bell pants.
38. Since prom is about dancing, food, excess, and sex in the high school world, it’s only reasonable that you should go with Mardi Gras.
Wait a minute, Mardi Gras was in February. Prom season is in April and May. So isn’t it a little late to dress for Mardi Gras for prom?
39. For prom, nothing makes you love American more than a patriotic prom dress and suit.
These two seem like they’re the part of the pep squad for Apollo Creed or the Harlem Globetrotters. Then again, they’re doing it for the Stuck at Prom competition, but still.
40. Ladies and gentlemen, may I present to you, the Russian gangster and his Russian hooker bride.
If this was a Russian wedding picture, I might understand this a little better. But it’s a prom picture and I’ have no idea why the girl’s parents let her wear that out of all the dresses available.
41. While we usually see a prom princess with a conventional ball gown, I don’t see why we shouldn’t exclude warrior prom princesses, too.
Oh, wait. Yes, I think I do see a reason. Because warrior princesses dress as skimpy as hell to appeal to a male fan base. Yeah, that’s right. Still, you don’t want to mess with this girl. She could be Storm from the X-Men for all you know.
42. When you’re mellow, go with yellow. When you’re away, go with gray.
Now I know my school would never let me wear that yellow dress for prom. However, it’s the gray trimmings that irk me with this outfit. Seriously, makes the girl look like she’s straight from a sci-fi TV show.
43. Ladies and gentlemen, may I present to you Storm Boy and Rainbow Girl.
You know your prom outfits are lame when even the yellow umbrella is snickering behind you. Still, they’re probably just doing it for the art or the scholarship money so it’s not like they broke their parents’ bank.
44. With a prom dress like this, any girl can look like a goddess. And by that, I mean an evil one from a sc-fi show that forces guys to have sex with her.
Yeah, I think this dress was inspired by some alien girl’s outfit from Battlestar Galactica or Star Trek: The Next Generation. But I’m sure wearing this will certainly get her a date with a cute sci-fi nerd.
45. Speaking of sci-fi prom dresses, a lady can’t go wrong with cocktail dress inspired by TRON.
Hey, girl, you might want to save your TRON dress for the geek convention where it will be a hit with the nerds. Either that, or the Black Eyed Peas Super Bowl concert.
46. May I present to you Sammy Stumpak and all right, how old is this guy’s date?
I know we’re supposed to believe this girl is in high school. But with that dress and that hair, I swear I must’ve mistook her for a teacher robbing the cradle. Seriously, that dress looks so unsuitable for what teen girl would wear to prom. And that style reminds me of a few teachers I had in elementary school.
47. Aw, now finally a nice couple prom photo. Wait a minute, is that a guy wearing a dress?
Now I’m sure guys could wear dresses if they want to. It’s just that this guy looks as if he’s some villain from some bad sci-fi space opera from the 1980s. I mean, that just doesn’t look right to me.
48. Make your prom a fairytale adventure as the Queen of Hearts and the Mad Hatter.
Hey, I didn’t know that the Queen of Hearts and the Mad Hatter went to prom together. Or that they were in high school at the same time. Or that Wonderland even has a high school or prom.
49. For prom, this couple decided to combine their tastes for deer hunting and gangster films for their outfits this year.
Now while they’re clad in camo and bright orange, in accordance with deer hunting season, the guy’s in a pinstripe suit assuming the look of a 1920s gangster. Seriously, I’m sure if Nucky Thompson had a hunting outfit, it would look exactly like that.
50. What way to celebrate prom than to dress up in the costumes of your European ancestors back in the home country?
I don’t know about you, but I’m sure if you had European ancestors, I’m sure they didn’t dress at all like that in the home country. Unless you’re counting fairy tales, of course. Also, I’m sure the guy’s not allowed to bring a sword to prom due to the zero tolerance weapons policy.
51. When it comes to pimping at prom, you have to do it in plaid.
Now dressing up as a pimp for Halloween is one thing, but for prom? Seriously, pimps exploit women by making them have sex with other guys for money. Do you really want to send that kind of message to girls?
52. Prom dress, very expensive sexy lingerie, or both?
From what I can tell, this could very well be used for prom or very overpriced sleepwear. Seriously, I’m sure my dad wouldn’t want me to wear that to prom. Still, I don’t think I’d want to buy it.
53. With a suit like this, this guy will match both his bitches.
Now I’m sure this guy knows how to compromise with both his girlfriends since he seems to really want a threesome. However, I’m not sure if the pimp cane and cup really sends good connotations, other than the two girl thing.
54. When you want to stand out at prom, an orange dress will certainly get you noticed.
Of course, this dress will certainly make guys think that you’re an aspiring streetwalker. Not to mention, I think it goes against the high school dress codes in most states.
55. Of course, when you can’t buy your prom dress, you can always make your own.
Good News: Looks like these people didn’t spend a lot of money on their prom outfits.
Bad News: Their clothes were made from the same material.
Very Bad News: The fabric is ugly.
56. Celebrate your love for America this prom, with this patriotic princess dress.
From Ugly Dress.com: “Prom Patriots are very popular. Prom Patriots get everything they could ever want. If you dress up like the Prom Patriot everyone will like you, you will get into the college of your choice, your acne will clear up, your boobs will get bigger, the Prom King will kiss you behind the coke machine, and you will even have a baby.” Yeah right.
57. While prom dresses typically have bright beautiful colors, this isn’t always the case.
Yeah, this dress may seem decent but the color scheme really isn’t appropriate. I mean spring has to be full of life. With a dress like this, everything looks dead.
58. Of course, a dress like this can really enhance your shoulders.
Reminds me of the kind of dress women would wear during the 1980s, particularly if they were rich trophy wives of Wall Street bankers. Yeah, I’m sure it would be a perfect fit for a teenage girl. Not.
59. When it comes to prom dresses, you can’t have too much ruffles and leather.
Uh, yeah, I think you can. Seriously, seems like 1980s prom dress designs at their most ridiculous. I mean it would’ve looked better without the white trimmings on it.
60. Man, I’m not sure if it’s the prom dress or I’m just plain tripping at the moment.
Now whoever designed this dress must’ve been under the influence of strong hallucinogenic mushrooms or peyote in that matter. Seriously, gives me migraines just looking at it.
61. Prom dress or German barmaid outfit?
I think I might’ve seen a similar dress on a wax figure of Rhianna. Doesn’t really seem appropriate for her. Still, hope she saves it to wear for Oktoberfest.
62. Prom princess or giant princess cupcake?
Now I’m sure she can party all she wants. But she needs to be home by midnight or her ride will turn back into a pumpkin and her driver back into a mouse. However, she’ll accept any proposal from the guy who returns her glass slipper.
63. Can’t really tell whether these two are on their way to prom or a back alley dance club.
Of course, it’s probably prom since their outfits seem to be made from duct tape for the “Stuck at Prom” competition. They’re probably repressed art students, go figure.
64. For those wanting to get in touch with their wild side, this jungle princess prom dress is a perfect fit.
Now if this wasn’t a prom dress, I could’ve almost mistake it for a Victoria’s Secret lingerie ad. Seriously, kind of looks unbelievably skimpy once you add leopard prints.
65. Ladies and gentlemen, all hail Queen Vespa from the planet Saldor.
I don’t know about you, but I could see one of Captain Kirk’s love interests wearing this very outfit on an episode from the original Star Trek. If she painted herself green, she could even go to a Star Trek convention in that very outfit.
66. Everyone, I give you the prom outfits from the future.
Of course, when I look at these outfits, it makes me not look forward to what high school kids might wear for prom in the future. This is especially the case with the guy wearing a brown suit.
67. Sometimes when it comes to prom dresses, you have to go with what you got.
However, I’m sure repurposing beer crates as prom dresses probably isn’t a good idea. Seriously, you aren’t even allowed to wear beer shirts at school, let alone beer crates at prom.
68. No I do declare, you can’t go wrong at prom dressed as a Southern Belle and her gentleman beau.
Worst Gone with the Wind cosplay I’ve ever seen. Seriously, the dress color is terrible. And frankly, my dear, I really do give a damn.
69. Some people see prom as a fairy tale while others just go to prom to just chill.
Yeah, prom should be about peace, love, and rock n’ roll. Of course, a lot of people have sex after prom. But still, these outfits seem more suitable for Woodstock than perhaps a formal high school dance.
70. Remember, ladies, make sure the top half of your prom dress corresponds with your bra size.
Yeah, I see a future with this girl after high school. Seems like she’ll spend a great chunk of her life turning a lot of tricks and taking her clothes at certain establishments. Wouldn’t be surprised if a former classmate saw her at the Filly Corral.
71. Nothing makes a pimp stand out than a suit of leopard prints in lime green.
For one, lime green isn’t a great color for prom. Seriously, it’s a hideous color. Second, I’m sure a lime green pimp outfit doesn’t make a guy look any badass. In fact, it just makes you look ridiculous.
72. Taking a prom photo with guns. What can possibly go wrong with that?
Now it’s one thing to take a prom photo with guns. It’s a whole different matter when the guy is dressed up like a 1920s gangster. And the fact it’s so unintentional makes it even funnier.
73. When it comes to princess gown skirts, some girls think bigger is better.
Now zebra print shoes and jacket aside, I wonder how this girl ever manages to sit in the car with that thing on. At least her dad could be happy that these two will have a very difficult time getting it on afterwards.
74. For those who dislike leopard prints, you can always go with zebras.
It’s amazing how animal prints can turn a reasonably slutty dress like this, into one that’s even more suitable for aspiring street walkers. Seriously, no self-respecting parent would want their daughter wearing that.
75. When it comes to couples, many believe that they should match.
For some reason, though I think the girl’s dress is slutty enough, I think the guy’s outfit is much worse. Seriously, it looks like some crazy bodysuit you’d see in some sex dungeon or something.
76. Prom dress or futuristic dress for a sexy maid?
Yeah, I think tin the future, all the fembots would wear outfits like these so they can please their dirty old but terminally single masters by bowing to their every desire. Seriously, this dress is as tacky as hell.
77. Come hither, come hither, lords and ladies, to the age old tradition of prom.
So that’s how the first Blackadder managed to get laid and have descendants. Too bad women will soon find him repulsive and he’d be compelled to marry a child, but that’s another episode. Oh, wait did they have prom in medieval England? Who cares.
78. Nothing brings out the spirit of prom than showing your love for Mountain Dew.
I’m sure these two are getting paid for doing this. Seriously, that’s the only reason why I’d wear a Mountain Dew dress. Also, the guy seems like he’s one face paint away from being a Batman villain.
79. If your date is dressed up like a 1920s gangster, here’s a great dress to complement it.
Now this dress would actually be pretty nice for prom. However, you just need to remove the low hanging trimmings, which make it look ridiculous. Seriously, I’m sure flappers didn’t wear a dress like that.
80. Now this one is called the “Mermaid Sweetheart” dress. But it kind of seems gothy to me.
Of course, when she’s done with the dress after prom, she could send it to the funeral home where they could use it for coffin liner.