No, this isn’t my senior picture. But it’s a picture of me and my sister Molly, on our first day of the last year we went to the same school together. Here I am a senior in high school while my sister is a freshman.
Sure senior picture season is over and has been since they do them in the fall. However, graduation season will be upon us before you know it so I might as well do some posts pertaining to that. Nevertheless, when you’re in high school, your senior year is usually seen as particularly special since your class occupies the leadership roles in student organizations as well as have events dedicated to you like Homecoming Court, Senior Night, and all that stuff. One of the big traditions for senior high school students is the senior picture. Traditionally, these pictures were used for the yearbook and still are (as was mine). However, there are plenty of seniors and their families who tend to be a little creative with some of their photoshoots. After all, my cousins Josh and Nick have senior pictures that seem rather specialized as they hang at my Aunt Mary’s house. But since my parents are cheap and didn’t like the studio my school district hired, we decided to go to a professional photographer for mine at Target even though the pictures didn’t turn out so right either. Let’s just say I wasn’t the most photogenic girl at the time. Still, at least I didn’t have a senior portrait that was too embarrassing unlike these I’m about to show. And yes, I had to go through the ends of the Internet to find them. So for your reading pleasure here are some undignified senior photos whose sitters would rather forget.
- “Say hello to my lizard friends.”
Sure they’re not as cuddly as kittens and might cause salmonella. But hey, at least they’re not poisonous. Or as far as she knows.
2. Hey, I didn’t know that Hulk Hogan was in track and field.
Okay, it’s not Hulk Hogan. It’s just some blond track kid in a mullet from the 1980s. And yes, it’s unsightly.
3. A lot of student athletes try to put their game into their senior picture. Not sure what his sport is.
So this kid has wrestling gear, a football, and a lacrosse stick. Would be very interested to see what kind of sport he’s in that uses these things. Oh wait, he’s in football, wrestling, and lacrosse.
4. Sometimes a football star has absolutely nothing to hide.
Well, he’s in briefs, but still. Anyway, I wouldn’t be surprised if I found out this was a senior portrait of Brett Favre. As we all know about his sexting scandal.
5. When it comes to hoops, this guy is willing to dunk it for the Elks.
Nevertheless, he’s wearing a pair of basketball shorts that would be banned from the school dress code if they weren’t part of the school uniform. Also, part of his underwear is showing.
6. When he pitches, he throws a ball of fire.
Let’s just say, any sane hitter would rather strike out than hit a flaming baseball. Sure it’s photoshop but still.
7. Seems like the guys from the water polo team are totally ripped.
I may not say this very often but I really hope these guys are wearing speedos. Also, I don’t think they’re very keen on picking up chicks as I see how they’re looking at each other.
8. She’s just a girl from the railroad tracks.
Who shouldn’t be posing for a picture there because a train could freaking hit and run her over at any second. Jesus, doesn’t she ever have a clue?
9. Even student athletes need their bath time.
Yes, I know athletes sweat a lot. But I think he’s in a tub that’s way too small for him. Also, dear God, I hope he’s wearing a speedo.
10. Nothing makes a senior girl glow with pride than posing with her own hunting rifle.
And let’s hope it’s not loaded for hunting season. Because she might ending up shooting the photographer by accident.
11. When riding a motorcycle to prom, always wear a helmet.
I’m sure this kid is wearing a motorcycle helmet because he likes motorcycles. Or he’s rather self-conscious of his looks. Or both.
12. Seems like this cowpoke likes going for horsey rides.
Well, he’s on a rocking horse in cowboy attire. Nevertheless, he’s bound to inspire nightmares.
13. Just a few more steps and he passes the high school finish line.
And the rainbow just shines on him. Also note the unicorn in the background. Still, totally photoshop.
14. Seems like he likes to hustle when he’s not playing ball.
And I thought Napoleon Dynamite was a wholesome nerd. Apparently, they were wrong.
15. “Hey girls, gather round, listen to what I’m putting down./Hey babe, I’m your handy man.”
“I’m not the kind to use a pencil or rule, I’m handy with love and I’m no fool,/I fix broken hearts, I know that I truly can./
If your broken heart should need repair, then I’m the man to see./I whisper sweet things, you tell all your friends, they’ll come running to me.” Fixing 24 hours a day, by the way.
16. Couple pictures are also a rather common senior picture motif.
Heard the blonde kid took little Suzie to the Junior Prom. And he raped and killed her before taking her home. But he’s just an excitable boy they all say. And I think I’ve listened to too much Warren Zevon.
17. There are some kids who’d like nothing but sit and read in nature.
However, doing so with antique furniture doesn’t seem to make sense to me. After all, have you heard of rain? Yes, this kid is very strange.
18. Guess this guy is going bananas.
Well, he’s with a plush banana. Still, I think this guy might be losing touch with reality. Or is just desperate.
19. Kids these days, always into themselves.
And he has a picture of himself on his laptop screen. What a self-absorbed asshole.
20. “Hello, my cat can eat bread.”
Yes, this guy has a cat going through a slice of bread. And yes, he seems like he could give you the creeps.
21. “Oh, no, I got to go in there to save my rooster.”
Okay, it’s a rooster statue that was probably an heirloom. But to him, it counts. I know he’s not right in the head at the moment.
22. “Come on baby, light my fire/Come on baby, light my fire/Try to set the night on fire”
Guess this kid was voted either Most Likely to Commit Arson or Most Likely to Blow Himself Up. Either way, he seems to like fire a lot which is disturbing.
23. Nothing initiates senior pride like having your picture with your prized gourd.
Now that’s one of the biggest gourds I’ve ever seen. And this guy is like, “Prepare to be amazed by my gourd I fed with radioactive fertilizer.”
24. Nothing makes a senior portrait than a couple of mustaches.
Are these seniors? Because they seem to look like a couple of guys you’d see either at a trailer park or a 1970s porn flick.
25. Ladies and gentlemen, I give you Pumpkin Man.
And I sure hope that he’s wearing a speedo before he got into that pumpkin. Yeah, I think this might traumatize some kids like Linus Van Pelt. No, you wouldn’t want to see the Great Pumpkin like this.
26. A senior football star bares all.
You may not hear me say this often, but I hope he’s wearing a thong. Still, not a bad looking guy which disturbs me even more that I hope he’s 18.
27. Of course, a tough ginger always has to pose with his gun.
Is that an assault rifle? Seriously, I think there have been students who staged school shootings with this kind of weapon. Seriously, this is disturbing.
28. With this guy, it’s John Deere parking only.
So I guess this guy wants to be a centerfold for Country Farm Girl magazine. Not sure if that exists but I hope he gets a recommendation.
29. When this guy gets out of school, he’s gonna be working on a road crew.
Now that has to be one of the sluttiest PennDOT workers I’ve ever seen. Guess he’s a male stripper by night and performs at bachelorette parties as Rock Hard Rod.
30. When he touches the pigskin, it lights on fire.
That means he’s probably not a great football player. After all, if you touch the ball and it bursts into flames, you can’t play football.
31. Within this boy lies a large ferocious beast.
However, you wouldn’t know it if you looked at him. Appearances can be deceiving.
32. My, what small hands he has.
Okay, those are doll hands he’s using. And let’s face it, for a handsome guy like him, it’s kind of creepy.
33. “When I grow up, I want to be a welder before making a career change to a nightclub dancer.”
“What a feeling/Being’s believing/I can have it all/Now I’m dancing for my life” Not sure if I want to see Flashdance. But I kind of should.
34. As he dresses in black and chains so does his chihuahua.
This would’ve made a decent senior photo. But the image of a similarly dressed chihuahua makes it so hard to take it seriously.
35. “Okay, just a few more seconds.”
Apparently, the photographer was really pressed for time. So the picture had to be taken. Still, this boy thinks he’s hot stuff doesn’t he?
36. Of course, even future dominatrixes had to have attended high school.
She wanted to do her senior picture with her cat o’ nine tails. But the school wouldn’t allow it due to their zero tolerance weapons policy.
37. “What? What’s wrong with bathing in furs and a tiara?”
Well, he seems dressed for his bath in all his finery. I know it’s weird. But who are we to judge.
38. This senior is feeling just ducky under the weather.
Wouldn’t be surprised if Ernie from Sesame Street had a senior picture like this. However, this isn’t Ernie.
39. When it comes to senior pictures, there are some guys who really know how to dress.
Okay, seems like someone has been watching too much Boardwalk Empire. And I don’t think it’s a show high school kids should watch. Well, unless their class is studying the 1920s.
40. I guess this guy wants to be a firefighter to get on a calendar.
Sure he might be a fine firefighter. However, I’m not sure if he has a chops to make it on the hot fireman calendar. A firefighter has to be exceptionally hot for that.
41. This guy seems pretty handy with picking up limbs.
However, he’s certainly not dressed for it since his short shorts have pockets showing. And they’re not practical.
42. This football player knows how to get his game on fire.
Not sure why there are photos like these. Yes, the flames are photoshopped. But it’s fairly going overboard.
43. You know they say, a dog is man’s best friend.
Apparently, this pair has to have T-shirts of each other. Yeah, it’s pretty ridiculous if you ask me.
44. When it comes to video games, this guy is playing on top of his Game Boy Advance.
This has to be the early 2000s as I see it. Because even now these are fairly obsolete.
45. As we all know, jamming on guitars always looks cool.
Uh, is that guy getting strangled? Seriously, did these guys think this pose through? Because this doesn’t look good.
46. Sure she didn’t go to Hogwarts but she wanted her senior picture taken in Gryffindor garb.
Yes, she’s more obsessed Harry Potter than most people. And this is coming from a woman who dressed as Hermione Granger for Halloween in college.
47. A true warrior always has to have a horse.
Riding a horse is one thing. Riding on one in a toga with a sword, that’s just crazy. Seriously, that’s insane.
48. “Don’t worry, I’ll take care of this log for you.”
Don’t worry, she’s just using a chainsaw to cut logs. You know like yard work. She’s not going to kill anyone with it.
49. Once Vince is out of high school, he plans on joining the family business.
He plans to be in waste management like his father before him. Of course, he does have an uncle who’s living in Arizona he hasn’t seen in years.
50. In her camo dress, this country girl holds her hunting rifle with pride.
I know there are plenty of hunters. But still, why pose with your gun? It’s ludicrous in my opinion. Seriously, they kill people.
51. This guy would dive anywhere for a buck.
And yes, he’d even go to the bottom of a pool in his suit. Yes, I know this guy’s insane.
52. During a dark and stormy day, this senior is ready to rip.
Apparently, he was voted Most Likely to Stage a Chainsaw Massacre. Doesn’t help that he’s wearing a White Castle tank top either.
53. A guy like this is bound to set a woman’s heart on fire.
Maybe some women. But not me. Apparently, I’ve seen more ripped guys than that. Sorry.
54. In the morning, this young man takes his Life.
Yes, his Life cereal with 2% milk. Apparently, he’d rather get his photo session over with at breakfast.
55. It’s not uncommon for seniors to have their photos with their cars. Not sure if it was a good idea for this guy.
I have a friend from high school who drove a rusty white van This guy’s ride make his lousy ride look like a luxury convertible.
56. For this senior, Monster energy drinks give him a boost.
Yes, I remember fellow classmates drinking energy drinks. However, they’re very bad for you since they contain tons of caffeine. Seriously, don’t drink these things.
57. Who says that real men don’t wear pink?
Sure there’s no problem wearing pink. But that pink suit seems to make me think this guy will end up being either a pimp or a used car salesman.
58. When it comes to this guy, there’s nothing better than wearing a furry hat and listening to his toy tape recorder.
Hey, I had one of those tape recorders when I was a kid. Used to have a lot of fun with that. Still, this is freaky.
59. For this guy, his hustling tome is playing in the pool halls.
Yes, he’s a different kind of pool boy. Wants to be the Fast Eddie of his generation. Note what Fast Eddie lost in order to beat Minnesota Fats.
60. In couple’s portraits, some have more class than others.
Sure they may love each other for now. But do you think we should glamorize teen pregnancy like this? Seriously, I’m happy that no one in my graduating class was pregnant by then. This is just so trashy.
61. For senior year, welcome to Senior Avenue.
And according to how this guy sees it, it sucks. Since you have to think about the future as well as all the other stuff.
62. Some guys seem to enjoy the finer things in life.
Yes, he might like frilly fans and parasols. But such preferences might make you question his sexuality. Not that there’s anything wrong with that. But it’s still less gay than the one with the water polo players.
63. This track star wants you to see him race against a car.
I’m sure the car will win as the track star will be run down to exhaustion. Hey, have to be honest here.
64. Sometimes all you need to lounge on a divan with a bottle.
Uh, is this kind of photo even legal? I mean the guy obviously has to be 17 or 18. And the US legal drinking age is 21.
65. There’s nothing that rings in senior year than sharing a drink with your dog.
Let’s hope there’s no alcohol in that wine glass. Also, why is his dog wearing a tie? And why does he have a monocle?
66. When he swings, his bat catches flames.
I don’t think you’d want a burning bat. Because it’s not a bat. It’s a torch.
67. By senior year, we should understand that warning labels exist for a reason.
For the love of God, kid, don’t pull down the lever! It’s high voltage and you’ll get electrocuted.
68. A high school senior like him is both armed and dangerous.
I think this kid was voted by his class as Most Likely to Stage a School Shooting. Seriously, kids have been killed at schools with these weapons. For the love of God, this is seriously disturbing.
69. How about a picture of a sexy organ grinder?
And they said that accordion players have a hard time getting dates. Organ grinders aren’t much better to pose with. Since they’ve fallen out of regular use for decades.
70. A man like him always has a bottle of Nivea on his mind.
So I guess this guy tends to have problems with dry skin after shaving. Explains a lot.
71. Nothing makes a more proud senior moment than sitting on an easy chair with a chainsaw on your lap.
Okay, I’m sure this kid is just into power tools. He’ll probably never end up staging a chainsaw massacre. Even though he might be a prime suspect if such an event happens in his hometown.
72. Of course, you have one senior girl who’s proud to be a cheerleader.
Uh, maybe a jumping shot isn’t a good idea. Seriously, you can almost see her crotch. That doesn’t seem appropriate for a senior picture.
73. While some girls are on the cheerleading squad, others do other things to attract more fish in the sea.
In her case, the fish in the sea are quite literal if you get my drip. And she does it with net. Guess her name is Downeaster Alexa and is the kind of girl who works with a rod and a reel. Okay, I listen to too much Billy Joel.
74. When it comes to reptiles, this guy likes his snakes.
Okay, this kid is freaky. Not sure if it’s because of the snake or his outfit. Or the eyeliner.
75. “Hey, want to go snorkeling with me?”
Apparently, he’d rather do it in a tuxedo. And I’m sure it’s not appropriate attire underwater as far as I know.
76. “I use antlers in all of my decorating.”
I guess this guy is an avid hunter. Let’s hope he is. Because seeing him with deer heads is giving me the creeps.
77. While Jesus walks on water, this guy does crunches on it.
Well, maybe he’s crawling, not crunching. And I’m sure he’s not on water. Still, not sure how this picture makes any sense.
78. Seems like this boy is looking out from a well.
Hope he’s careful and doesn’t fall in there. But I’m sure this guy is tempting fate. Because you don’t want to be trapped in a well. You really don’t.
79. A scenic shot is always optimal for a senior picture.
Apparently, they didn’t get the memo that the country club would be running the sprinkler system that day. In my area, we have a kind of sprinkler system called, “rain.”
80. They always said she was a down home type.
However, she’s had to do some dusting below the pots and pans. And I’m not sure if she’s able to reach any of them.
81. This guy can never go without his own graphing calculator.
I suppose this kid is taking advanced math and science courses as well as aspires to be an engineer. So I guess his gadget is fairly essential to him. But why be photographed with it is the question.
82. Sometimes doing a handstand is as good idea on paper than in reality.
Yeah, I don’t think she got the hang of it. Seems like a poorly executed break dance move. Then again, I don’t know much about break dancing.
83. Nothing is more tender than a photo of a senior and her dog.
Except her dog really isn’t enjoying this photo op. As you can see by how it shows its fangs.
84. Nothing creates a better feel than a senior picture on the streets.
Uh, I don’t think the kid lives there as you can tell by the clothes. Also, his shirt collar is all wrong.
85. Someday this senior wishes to drive a Mercedes Benz.
However, he’s not too keen on showing his emotions as you can tell by the look on his face. Also, I don’t think he’s ever going to drive a Mercedes.
86. You know what they say about a guy who plays lacrosse.
Seems like he put his helmet in a strategic area. Pray to God that he’s wearing a speedo at this moment.
87. There are always some people who never stop dreaming.
And there are some people who should give up on their dreams. Seriously, Chad, there’s no way in hell you’re going to be a Chippendale without inflicting some serious bodily harm. Also, that mullet is terrible.
88. Steven always dresses sharp and is always on cue.
I guess Harold Hill was right. Maybe playing pool does lead boys down a very bad road.
89. In car photos, perhaps a face is best reflected from a side mirror.
However, this kid seems to look like he has no soul. Watch out for him.
90. In some senior photos, there are some who have no taste in fashion.
I don’t know if this is from the 1980s or 1990s but it sure looks like it. Also, is his silver get up made of duct tape?
91. There is no picturesque scene than a waterfall.
However, I’m not sure about this one. And I hope he’s wearing something. Also, is he spreading his legs? That’s disturbing.
92. Introducing the legendary Kinex warrior.
Sure you can build a lot of cool stuff with Kinex. However, a wardrobe isn’t one of them. Nor is a warrior outfit either.
93. This guy always knows how to pack a punch.
However, I’m not sure whether he’s punching through glass or water. If glass, he doesn’t seem to have any injuries. Also, how is it possible he could punch through water?
94. Of course, let’s hope this kid doesn’t suffer from his rusty mail.
Still, piss him off and he might end up going medieval on you. Nevertheless, he probably plans to major in siege warfare before going on a Crusade.
95. Sometimes Michael has to bring on the style.
And I wouldn’t be surprised if this guy ended up being cast on MTV’s Jersey Shore. Because that’s a horrible tan. Seriously, it seems like his dad is either John Boehner or an Ooompah-Loompah.
96. This girl might have a Pez addiction.
Then again, she has a quite a collection of Pez dispensers. Which is mostly why people buy Pez anyway since they’re quite nasty.
97. This guy’s music is bound to set the night on fire.
However, it makes you wonder what kind of explosives he put in his saxophone. Because saxes normally don’t work that way.
98. After graduation, this girl is Ivy League bound.
Nevertheless, this doesn’t mean that this girl has common sense. After all, getting your picture taken in the middle of traffic is not a good idea. Even children in preschool know that.
99. When it comes to hairstyles, some are beyond description.
Okay, this was probably from the 1980s. But still, it makes you think of a rat’s nest on steroids.
100. When it comes to pets, this guy really has it in for his cat.
So much so that his cat gets a cosmic image. Still, this is incredibly freaky as I see it.
The Lone Girl in a Crowd 