Pomp and Circumstance on Graduation Memories

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Here am I standing with me and my parents and sister Molly at my graduation from Yough High School in June 2008. I was thinking about putting my sister’s picture. But I decided against it because I already put her high school graduation picture in my Father’s Day post.

As the school year winds down to a close, so comes graduation season where all seniors prepare to say goodbye and face the world years of education prepared them for. Since I’m a 2008 graduate of Yough High School as well as a 2012 graduate of Saint Vincent College, I can say I’ve been down the commencement cap and gown road twice in my life. Such experience is bittersweet for me since while I have gotten a sense of accomplishment that years of committing to my education have paid off, I also feel a bit sad that I miss the place and the people. But perhaps there’s always a trade off. After all, receiving your college degree is a proud moment even though it means you’ll have years of struggle to pay for your student loans. Nevertheless, graduations usually consists of students entering in procession dressed in their caps and gowns as each one is called to receive their degree. There’s usually a commencement speaker giving a few remarks for the graduates as well as other performances. It’s quite an elaborate ceremony. It’s kind of funny at my high school graduation, we had our state senator at the time Bob Regola who kind of got in trouble for perjury after his kid and a neighbor were involved in some firearms mishap that killed the latter. The guy was later forced to resign. Yet, while there are many graduations that consist of wonderful ceremonies, some don’t always go as well as planned. And for your pleasure, I show a treasure trove of photos pertaining to the not so savory sentiments of graduation.

  1. Guess someone is questioning their degree’s worth already.
As you'll see, some grads decorate their caps in unique ways. I suppose "B.S." either stands for bullshit or Bachelor in Science.

As you’ll see, some grads decorate their caps in unique ways. I suppose “B.S.” either stands for bullshit or Bachelor in Science.

2. At graduation, you never know what people are wearing under their gowns.

I guess these women are from some state like California or Hawaii. Because I don't think I could wear a swimsuit under my cap and gown.

I guess these women are from some state like California or Hawaii. Because I don’t think I could wear a swimsuit under my cap and gown.

3. Seems like some people are excited that they’ve graduated.

I think these guys are from China. Still, all seem to have their gown blowing with one jumping into the air.

I think these guys are from China. Still, all seem to have their gown blowing with one jumping into the air.

4. Seems like someone is happy with their advanced degree.

I think this might be someone's dad in his kid's cap and gown. And it's probably done as a joke. Pretty funny.

I think this might be someone’s dad in his kid’s cap and gown. And it’s probably done as a joke. Pretty funny.

5. Apparently, not everyone is basking in the glories of their graduation.

Either that, or the girl doesn't like having her picture taken. That, or she was doing a photo bomb.

Either that, or the girl doesn’t like having her picture taken. That, or she was doing a photo bomb.

6. This guy made it and has the diploma and picture to show for it.

However, you have to wonder about his school's colors. Maroon? Please. Still, love his goofy grin.

However, you have to wonder about his school’s colors. Maroon? Please. Still, love his goofy grin.

7. Now I can fully understand why this person went to college.

Also, Hogwarts is a school for wizarding youth ages 11-18. Perhaps being a Muggle at 18 was a factor as well.

Also, Hogwarts is a school for wizarding youth ages 11-18. Perhaps being a Muggle at 18 was a factor as well.

8. Dobby has graduated. Dobby is freed.

Yes, these caps are very creative. Who knew that Dobby needed a diploma to be freed from the Malfoys? Oh, wait he needed a sock.

Yes, these caps are very creative. Who knew that Dobby needed a diploma to be freed from the Malfoys? Oh, wait he needed a sock.

9. Those who graduate are more likely to have their life on the right track.

However, this girl isn't one of them because she's standing in the middle of the railroad tracks. Seriously, she's putting herself at a very dangerous risk of being mangled and run over.

However, this girl isn’t one of them because she’s standing in the middle of the railroad tracks. Seriously, she’s putting herself at a very dangerous risk of being mangled and run over.

10. Being photographed with your parents in your cap and gown is always a proud moment.

At least for this dad who just can't resist embarrassing his son one last time. Yes, that will do it.

At least for this dad who just can’t resist embarrassing his son one last time. Yes, that will do it.

11. Sure you nearly flunked but at least you made it.

I don't know about you. But I'm sure this guy isn't going to be college material for receiving a 1.9. But at least he didn't flunk.

I don’t know about you. But I’m sure this guy isn’t going to be college material for receiving a 1.9. But at least he didn’t flunk.

12. Remember, graduates, processions always take one step at a time.

And it seems this girl tripped during "Pomp and Circumstance." Still, this place kind of reminds me of my high school stadium, except the stands are significantly lower.

And it seems this girl tripped during “Pomp and Circumstance.” Still, this place kind of reminds me of my high school stadium, except the stands are significantly lower.

13. Posing with your family at graduation is always a highlight.

And it seems that this young woman has an interesting family worthy of a sitcom. You have to wonder what her life is like at home.

And it seems that this young woman has an interesting family worthy of a sitcom. You have to wonder what her life is like at home.

14. Of course, if it’s your sibling’s graduation, you might hate them for getting all the attention.

Can't this boy at least try to be happy for his sister? Yes, it's her day. But he'll get his time in a few years. Trust me.

Can’t this boy at least try to be happy for his sister? Yes, it’s her day. But he’ll get his time in a few years. Trust me.

15. Some graduates make better entrances than others.

And it seems like this girl embarrassed herself by falling flat on her face to receive her diploma. I'm sure she's going to be well remembered for years.

And it seems like this girl embarrassed herself by falling flat on her face to receive her diploma. I’m sure she’s going to be well remembered for years.

16. I guess this person managed to graduate by a nose.

Wonder whether this grad plans to major in. Dressage, steeplechase, polo, equestrian, or carriage rides?

Wonder whether this grad plans to major in. Dressage, steeplechase, polo, equestrian, racing, or carriage rides?

17. Oh, great, some major dick has to screw it up for everyone and get all the attention.

I'm sure the parents with small children had a very tough time explaining this moment. Seriously, who the hell crashes a graduation in a dick costume? Then again, there's that one college in Rhode Island that has a mascot named Scrotie.

I’m sure the parents with small children had a very tough time explaining this moment. Seriously, who the hell crashes a graduation in a dick costume? Then again, there’s that one college in Rhode Island that has a mascot named Scrotie.

18. Remember, after receiving your diploma, watch yourself on your way out.

And it seems like someone tripped and fell as they were leaving the stage. Of course, this is the third trip picture I posted already.

And it seems like someone tripped and fell as they were leaving the stage. Of course, this is the third trip picture I posted already.

19. I guess these two guys were known to be quite the party animals.

Because how else could they have beer pongs on their caps? Wonder what their parents are thinking.

Because how else could they have beer pongs on their caps? Wonder what their parents are thinking.

20. At high schools, it’s always a custom for the valedictorian and the salutatorian to give a speech during the ceremony.

However, we're not sure if cue cards are used or not. Then again, someone was probably playing a prank.

However, we’re not sure if cue cards are used or not. Then again, someone was probably playing a prank.

21. You can guess what this person is doing after graduation.

And yes, I feel for that person. Mostly because I haven't been able to get a steady income that could pay for mine.

And yes, I feel for that person. Mostly because I haven’t been able to get a steady income that could pay for mine.

22. While black men have it better as graduates, this doesn’t always curb their incarceration rates.

Introduce young black boys to Hamilton and they're off getting arrested for spontaneously bursting into song and dance routines on the streets. Yes, musical theater is a real menace in the African American community these days.

Introduce young black boys to Hamilton and they’re off getting arrested for spontaneously bursting into song and dance routines on the streets. Yes, musical theater is a real menace in the African American community these days.

23. Yes, tell them what it really cost you.

Man, $200,000 for a college education. I took out less than that on student loans and I'm still struggling to pay them.

Man, $200,000 for a college education. I took out less than that on student loans and I’m still struggling to pay them.

24. Now they received an education, they couldn’t care less about their school these days.

Yes, throw your caps as your school that provided your education smolders behind you. You bastards.

Yes, throw your caps as your school that provided your education smolders behind you. You bastards.

25. Sometimes cap designs can get quite elaborate.

This woman has a computer box and a piggy bank on hers. How she keeps her head up, I have no idea.

This woman has a computer box and a piggy bank on hers. How she keeps her head up, I have no idea.

26. That’s an interesting graduation cap there.

Wonder why this girl opted for a Nike swoosh instead of a conventional graduation cap square. Maybe she just wanted to be noticed more.

Wonder why this girl opted for a Nike swoosh instead of a conventional graduation cap square. Maybe she just wanted to be noticed more.

27. Guess someone plans to watch something scary after the commencement ceremony.

Yes, I could say American Horror Story Student Loans is a very scary series. This is especially when you have bad social skills and have to do job interviews.

Yes, I could say American Horror Story Student Loans is a very scary series. This is especially when you have bad social skills and have to do job interviews.

28. After commencement, it helps for some to take a rest.

And it seems these people prefer to take a nap on a tree. Let's not disturb them.

And it seems these people prefer to take a nap on a tree. Let’s not disturb them.

29. So I guess some colleges do have mixed martial arts majors.

This is from China and is probably photoshopped. Nevertheless, I'm sure some grads dreamed of pulling this one off.

This is from China and is probably photoshopped. Nevertheless, I’m sure some grads dreamed of pulling this one off.

30. At some commencements, there’s always someone who needs a little extra to get by.

Let's hope this is a college graduation. Still, I think this guy with the bottle might have a problem.

Let’s hope this is a college graduation. Still, I think this guy with the bottle might have a problem.

31. This girl always wondered why no one saw her haircut.

Maybe because she wore a headscarf all the time as a practicing Muslim. That could explain a lot.

Maybe because she wore a headscarf all the time as a practicing Muslim. That could explain a lot.

32. That moment when you realize when you need to pay those loans for obedience school.

Okay, I don't think it's the dog's graduation. But that look in the cap and gown is so priceless.

Okay, I don’t think it’s the dog’s graduation. But that look in the cap and gown is so priceless.

33. While most grads are covered in their caps and gowns, some show up in their birthday suit.

So I guess wacky graduation hijinks are nothing new. Wonder what this guy's parents thought about his stunt when he received his diploma.

So I guess wacky graduation hijinks are nothing new. Wonder what this guy’s parents thought about his stunt when he received his diploma.

34. Guess this guy is now graduated from college.

However, you'd think a graduate from NC State would know how to use proper grammar. It's "I am" not "I is."

However, you’d think a graduate from NC State would know how to use proper grammar. It’s “I am” not “I is.”

35. Congratulations on your graduation and here is your AK-47.

I'm thinking this is in Africa, but I don't want to be stereotypical. Oh wait, I just was. Still, the AK-47s don't give me hope here.

I’m thinking this is in Africa, but I don’t want to be stereotypical. Oh wait, I just was. Still, the AK-47s don’t give me hope here.

36. Some grads wished to build a little world in one little place.

This one seems to have a little house built on his cap. Guess he couldn't resist his creative impulses.

This one seems to have a little house built on his cap. Guess he couldn’t resist his creative impulses.

37. Congratulations, graduate, and may the Force be with you.

I'm sure these grads will treasure this moment forever. Guess there was a Star Wars convention in their town at the time.

I’m sure these grads will treasure this moment forever. Guess there was a Star Wars convention in their town at the time.

38. I’m sure the grads aren’t looking forward to their graduation surprise.

I don't think I'd want to have water dumped on me at my graduation. Then again, this is probably from a different country.

I don’t think I’d want to have water dumped on me at my graduation. Then again, this is probably from a different country.

39. This is a big day for this Imperial Stormtrooper.

Sure he's a terrible shot. But at least he managed to get an education so he could contribute to society in a different way.

Sure he’s a terrible shot. But at least he managed to get an education so he could contribute to society in a different way.

40. Not sure if I’d want to know what’s under his gown.

I guess these girls were in for a disturbing surprise. Then again, it's probably staged as a joke.

I guess these girls were in for a disturbing surprise. Then again, it’s probably staged as a joke.

41. Sometimes it all takes one guy in the background can ruin your Kodak moment.

You have to wonder whether this picture was taken on a digital camera. Because I don't think whoever took this picture noticed the guy mooning behind this girl.

You have to wonder whether this picture was taken on a digital camera. Because I don’t think whoever took this picture noticed the guy mooning behind this girl.

42. Well, I guess this guy’s future is ruined.

But at least the cops were nice enough to wait and let him graduate before taking him. You have to respect that at least.

But at least the cops were nice enough to wait and let him graduate before taking him. You have to respect that at least.

43. I think that this girl isn’t from the most happy families.

Then again, perhaps the people behind these two were in an argument. You know how stuff like this goes.

Then again, perhaps the people behind these two were in an argument. You know how stuff like this goes.

44. This car has a graduate on bored.

Maybe a bored graduate. However, it should be "graduate on board." Ever heard of homonyms?

Maybe a bored graduate. However, it should be “graduate on board.” Ever heard of homonyms?

45. During boring commencement speeches, it helps if you have something to bide the time.

I guess this was taken in the 1980s or 1990s. However, she needs a straw hat for cover.

I guess this was taken in the 1980s or 1990s. However, the straw hat is for cover.

46. Okay, what’s that sticking out of that guy’s cap?

I think it's a diorama of some sort. But it sure sticks out like a sore thumb to me.

I think it’s a diorama of some sort. But it sure sticks out like a sore thumb to me.

47. I’m guessing this person is anxious about employment prospects.

Sure I feel for this person since I've struggled to get a job for a long time. And it doesn't seem to end.

Sure I feel for this person since I’ve struggled to get a job for a long time. And it doesn’t seem to end.

48. For graduates, group photos are always a custom.

Of course, don't mind the guy behind you. And yes, that face is quite strange and a bit creepy.

Of course, don’t mind the guy behind you. And yes, that face is quite strange and a bit creepy.

49. Families are always there to celebrate our precious moments whether we want them to or not.

Yeah, I think this girl just captured what a lot of us think about our families sometimes. Because they usually are the people in our lives we can't avoid.

Yeah, I think this girl just captured what a lot of us think about our families sometimes. Because they usually are the people in our lives we can’t avoid.

50. Seems like the cows have gone to pasture on her cap.

So she made her graduation cap into a pasture diorama. Interesting.

So she made her graduation cap into a pasture diorama. Interesting.

51. “But I don’t want to go into the real world, it’s scary out there.”

Then again, he might either be scared or just wants to sneeze. Not sure which.

Then again, he might either be scared or just wants to sneeze. Not sure which.

52. Congratulations on your graduation, lady terrorists?

Sorry to offend anyone here but it's not what you'd think. It's actually a graduation ceremony of women in the Iranian police force. However, as an American, I tend to be accustomed to the idea that assault weapons and hijabs don't mix.

Sorry to offend anyone here but it’s not what you’d think it is. It’s actually a graduation ceremony of women in the Iranian police force. However, as an American, I tend to be accustomed to the idea that assault weapons and hijabs don’t mix.

53. I’m sure this guy will be ready when he has to take his cap off.

Then again, I'm sure he's using his remote control to light up the cap. And he probably has no intention taking it off.

Then again, I’m sure he’s using his remote control to light up the cap. And he probably has no intention taking it off.

54. For her graduation photo, nothing could do better than the Bard.

Sure she might like Shakespeare. But she might just be sucking up to her drama teacher. Not sure which.

Sure she might like Shakespeare. But she might just be sucking up to her drama teacher. Not sure which.

55. After commencement it helps to get out of your gowns to relax.

And it seems that this women didn't have a lot on them when they received their diplomas. Still, at least their underwear matches.

And it seems that this women didn’t have a lot on them when they received their diplomas. Still, at least their underwear matches.

56. He just had to have a cap in his likeness.

Not sure what to think about this. Seems like his picture has him spurting blue stuff down his nose.

Not sure what to think about this. Seems like his picture has him spurting blue stuff down his nose. But at least they’ll know it’s his when he throws it up.

57. Congratulations, it’s a graduate!

What the fuck got these guy to do something like this? This is just incredibly crazy if you ask me.

What the fuck got these guy to do something like this? This is just incredibly crazy if you ask me.

58. I give this graduation 2 thumbs up.

Seems like he's trying to be enthusiastic. But he doesn't seem that way. At least as I can tell.

Seems like he’s trying to be enthusiastic. But he doesn’t seem that way. At least as I can tell.

59. Yes, graduation is a highly emotional time.

This is especially if you're Carrot Top receiving his diploma from an orange face man. Yes, it's quite a time.

This is especially if you’re Carrot Top receiving his diploma from an orange face man. Yes, it’s quite a time.

60. I think this cap explains a lot about recent grads.

Well, I didn't have any idea of what I was doing either. Sometimes I still don't.

Well, I didn’t have any idea of what I was doing either. Sometimes I still don’t.

61. Wonder what this valedictorian has to say in his speech.

Hey, that's Weird Al Yankovic giving his valedictorian speech. And yes, he's as weird now as he was then. But he's one of the most successful musical comedy artists of all time.

Hey, that’s Weird Al Yankovic giving his valedictorian speech. And yes, he’s as weird now as he was then. But he’s one of the most successful musical comedy artists of all time.

62. I guess this girl expects to be seated with dumbasses.

How else could I have guessed? Guess "I'm with Stupid" is a dead giveaway.

How else could I have guessed? Guess “I’m with Stupid” is a dead giveaway.

63. Each school tends to have their own traditions.

And apparently, this guy's school tends to photograph their graduates with a lei of pot. Or so it looks like it.

And apparently, this guy’s school tends to photograph their graduates with a lei of pot. Or so it looks like it.

64. When it comes to graduation, these soldiers are always alert.

Apparently, not. Yes, these are of the military who are trained to combat enemy fire. But they can't seem to keep themselves awake during a commencement speech.

Apparently, not. Yes, these are of the military who are trained to combat enemy fire. But they can’t seem to keep themselves awake during a commencement speech.

65. Sometimes the cap doesn’t always fit in with the hairstyle.

I hope this kid either gets a job at some punk rock locale, design studio, or tattoo parlor. Because I don't think a regular office would hire him.

I hope this kid either gets a job at some punk rock locale, design studio, or tattoo parlor. Because I don’t think a regular office would hire him.

66. At some graduations, the weather gets more attention if it takes place outdoors.

Well, seems like there could be a tornado in their midst. Apparently, the strange thing about this is that it's in New Jersey.

Well, seems like there could be a tornado in their midst. Apparently, the strange thing about this is that it’s in New Jersey.

67. As far as caps are concerned, sometimes it’s hard to fit your hair in it.

Yes, 1980s hair and a square cap don't go well together. And yes, this looks pretty awkward indeed.

Yes, 1980s hair and a square cap don’t go well together. And yes, this looks pretty awkward indeed.

68. When it comes to graduation parties, some people tend to multi-task.

Well, at least Cortney got her education out of the way. Because she's gonna need it where she's going.

Well, at least Cortney got her education out of the way. Because she’s gonna need it where she’s going.

69. In Russia, some grads are transported through a shopping cart.

Well, as far as Russians are concerned, this isn't that crazy. Still pretty funny.

Well, as far as Russians are concerned, this isn’t that crazy. Still pretty funny.

70. Sometimes there are those who can’t stay awake during a boring speech.

Whether he'd be up when they call his name is the question. Hope he is so he could make his parents proud.

Whether he’d be up when they call his name is the question. Hope he is so he could make his parents proud.

Memorable Senior Portaits from Bygone High School Days

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No, this isn’t my senior picture. But it’s a picture of me and my sister Molly, on our first day of the last year we went to the same school together. Here I am a senior in high school while my sister is a freshman.

Sure senior picture season is over and has been since they do them in the fall. However, graduation season will be upon us before you know it so I might as well do some posts pertaining to that. Nevertheless, when you’re in high school, your senior year is usually seen as particularly special since your class occupies the leadership roles in student organizations as well as have events dedicated to you like Homecoming Court, Senior Night, and all that stuff. One of the big traditions for senior high school students is the senior picture. Traditionally, these pictures were used for the yearbook and still are (as was mine). However, there are plenty of seniors and their families who tend to be a little creative with some of their photoshoots. After all, my cousins Josh and Nick have senior pictures that seem rather specialized as they hang at my Aunt Mary’s house. But since my parents are cheap and didn’t like the studio my school district hired, we decided to go to a professional photographer for mine at Target even though the pictures didn’t turn out so right either. Let’s just say I wasn’t the most photogenic girl at the time. Still, at least I didn’t have a senior portrait that was too embarrassing unlike these I’m about to show. And yes, I had to go through the ends of the Internet to find them. So for your reading pleasure here are some undignified senior photos whose sitters would rather forget.

  1. “Say hello to my lizard friends.”
Sure they're not as cuddly as kittens and might cause salmonella. But hey, at least they're not poisonous. Or as far as she knows.

Sure they’re not as cuddly as kittens and might cause salmonella. But hey, at least they’re not poisonous. Or as far as she knows.

2. Hey, I didn’t know that Hulk Hogan was in track and field.

Okay, it's not Hulk Hogan. It's just some blond track kid in a mullet from the 1980s. And yes, it's unsightly.

Okay, it’s not Hulk Hogan. It’s just some blond track kid in a mullet from the 1980s. And yes, it’s unsightly.

3. A lot of student athletes try to put their game into their senior picture. Not sure what his sport is.

So this kid has wrestling gear, a football, and a lacrosse stick. Would be very interested to see what kind of sport he's in that uses these things. Oh wait, he's in football, wrestling, and lacrosse.

So this kid has wrestling gear, a football, and a lacrosse stick. Would be very interested to see what kind of sport he’s in that uses these things. Oh wait, he’s in football, wrestling, and lacrosse.

4. Sometimes a football star has absolutely nothing to hide.

Well, he's in briefs, but still. Anyway, I wouldn't be surprised if I found out this was a senior portrait of Brett Favre. As we all know about his sexting scandal.

Well, he’s in briefs, but still. Anyway, I wouldn’t be surprised if I found out this was a senior portrait of Brett Favre. As we all know about his sexting scandal.

5. When it comes to hoops, this guy is willing to dunk it for the Elks.

Nevertheless, he's wearing a pair of basketball shorts that would be banned from the school dress code if they weren't part of the school uniform. Also, part of his underwear is showing.

Nevertheless, he’s wearing a pair of basketball shorts that would be banned from the school dress code if they weren’t part of the school uniform. Also, part of his underwear is showing.

6. When he pitches, he throws a ball of fire.

Let's just say, any sane hitter would rather strike out than hit a flaming baseball. Sure it's photoshop but still.

Let’s just say, any sane hitter would rather strike out than hit a flaming baseball. Sure it’s photoshop but still.

7. Seems like the guys from the water polo team are totally ripped.

I may not say this very often but I really hope these guys are wearing speedos. Also, I don't think they're very keen on picking up chicks as I see how they're looking at each other.

I may not say this very often but I really hope these guys are wearing speedos. Also, I don’t think they’re very keen on picking up chicks as I see how they’re looking at each other.

8. She’s just a girl from the railroad tracks.

Who shouldn't be posing for a picture there because a train could freaking hit and run her over at any second. Jesus, doesn't she ever have a clue?

Who shouldn’t be posing for a picture there because a train could freaking hit and run her over at any second. Jesus, doesn’t she ever have a clue?

9. Even student athletes need their bath time.

Yes, I know athletes sweat a lot. But I think he's in a tub that's way too small for him. Also, dear God, I hope he's wearing a speedo.

Yes, I know athletes sweat a lot. But I think he’s in a tub that’s way too small for him. Also, dear God, I hope he’s wearing a speedo.

10. Nothing makes a senior girl glow with pride than posing with her own hunting rifle.

And let's hope it's not loaded for hunting season. Because she might ending up shooting the photographer by accident.

And let’s hope it’s not loaded for hunting season. Because she might ending up shooting the photographer by accident.

11. When riding a motorcycle to prom, always wear a helmet.

I'm sure this kid is wearing a motorcycle helmet because he likes motorcycles. Or he's rather self-conscious of his looks. Or both.

I’m sure this kid is wearing a motorcycle helmet because he likes motorcycles. Or he’s rather self-conscious of his looks. Or both.

12. Seems like this cowpoke likes going for horsey rides.

Well, he's on a rocking horse in cowboy attire. Nevertheless, he's bound to inspire nightmares.

Well, he’s on a rocking horse in cowboy attire. Nevertheless, he’s bound to inspire nightmares.

13. Just a few more steps and he passes the high school finish line.

And the rainbow just shines on him. Also note the unicorn in the background. Still, totally photoshop.

And the rainbow just shines on him. Also note the unicorn in the background. Still, totally photoshop.

14. Seems like he likes to hustle when he’s not playing ball.

And I thought Napoleon Dynamite was a wholesome nerd. Apparently, they were wrong.

And I thought Napoleon Dynamite was a wholesome nerd. Apparently, they were wrong.

15. “Hey girls, gather round, listen to what I’m putting down./Hey babe, I’m your handy man.”

"I'm not the kind to use a pencil or rule, I'm handy with love and I'm no fool,/I fix broken hearts, I know that I truly can./ If your broken heart should need repair, then I'm the man to see./I whisper sweet things, you tell all your friends, they'll come running to me." Fixing 24 hours a day, by the way.

“I’m not the kind to use a pencil or rule, I’m handy with love and I’m no fool,/I fix broken hearts, I know that I truly can./
If your broken heart should need repair, then I’m the man to see./I whisper sweet things, you tell all your friends, they’ll come running to me.” Fixing 24 hours a day, by the way.

16. Couple pictures are also a rather common senior picture motif.

Heard the blonde kid took little Suzie to the Junior Prom. And he raped and killed her before taking her home. But he's just an excitable boy they all say. And I think I've listened to too much Warren Zevon.

Heard the blonde kid took little Suzie to the Junior Prom. And he raped and killed her before taking her home. But he’s just an excitable boy they all say. And I think I’ve listened to too much Warren Zevon.

17. There are some kids who’d like nothing but sit and read in nature.

However, doing so with antique furniture doesn't seem to make sense to me. After all, have you heard of rain? Yes, this kid is very strange.

However, doing so with antique furniture doesn’t seem to make sense to me. After all, have you heard of rain? Yes, this kid is very strange.

18. Guess this guy is going bananas.

Well, he's with a plush banana. Still, I think this guy might be losing touch with reality. Or is just desperate.

Well, he’s with a plush banana. Still, I think this guy might be losing touch with reality. Or is just desperate.

19. Kids these days, always into themselves.

And he has a picture of himself on his laptop screen. What a self-absorbed asshole.

And he has a picture of himself on his laptop screen. What a self-absorbed asshole.

20. “Hello, my cat can eat bread.”

Yes, this guy has a cat going through a slice of bread. And yes, he seems like he could give you the creeps.

Yes, this guy has a cat going through a slice of bread. And yes, he seems like he could give you the creeps.

21. “Oh, no, I got to go in there to save my rooster.”

Okay, it's a rooster statue that was probably an heirloom. But to him, it counts. I know he's not right in the head at the moment.

Okay, it’s a rooster statue that was probably an heirloom. But to him, it counts. I know he’s not right in the head at the moment.

22. “Come on baby, light my fire/Come on baby, light my fire/Try to set the night on fire”

Guess this kid was voted either Most Likely to Commit Arson or Most Likely to Blow Himself Up. Either way, he seems to like fire a lot which is disturbing.

Guess this kid was voted either Most Likely to Commit Arson or Most Likely to Blow Himself Up. Either way, he seems to like fire a lot which is disturbing.

23. Nothing initiates senior pride like having your picture with your prized gourd.

Now that's one of the biggest gourds I've ever seen. And this guy is like, "Prepare to be amazed by my gourd I fed with radioactive fertilizer."

Now that’s one of the biggest gourds I’ve ever seen. And this guy is like, “Prepare to be amazed by my gourd I fed with radioactive fertilizer.”

24. Nothing makes a senior portrait than a couple of mustaches.

Are these seniors? Because they seem to look like a couple of guys you'd see either at a trailer park or a 1970s porn flick.

Are these seniors? Because they seem to look like a couple of guys you’d see either at a trailer park or a 1970s porn flick.

25. Ladies and gentlemen, I give you Pumpkin Man.

And I sure hope that he's wearing a speedo before he got into that pumpkin. Yeah, I think this might traumatize some kids like Linus Van Pelt. No, you wouldn't want to see the Great Pumpkin like this.

And I sure hope that he’s wearing a speedo before he got into that pumpkin. Yeah, I think this might traumatize some kids like Linus Van Pelt. No, you wouldn’t want to see the Great Pumpkin like this.

26. A senior football star bares all.

You may not hear me say this often, but I hope he's wearing a thong. Still, not a bad looking guy which disturbs me even more if I find that he's actually 17.

You may not hear me say this often, but I hope he’s wearing a thong. Still, not a bad looking guy which disturbs me even more that I hope he’s 18.

27. Of course, a tough ginger always has to pose with his gun.

Is that an assault rifle? Seriously, I think there have been students who staged school shootings with this kind of weapon. Seriously, this is disturbing.

Is that an assault rifle? Seriously, I think there have been students who staged school shootings with this kind of weapon. Seriously, this is disturbing.

28. With this guy, it’s John Deere parking only.

So I guess this guy wants to be a centerfold for Country Farm Girl magazine. Not sure if that exists but I hope he gets a recommendation.

So I guess this guy wants to be a centerfold for Country Farm Girl magazine. Not sure if that exists but I hope he gets a recommendation.

29. When this guy gets out of school, he’s gonna be working on a road crew.

Now that has to be one of the sluttiest PennDOT workers I've ever seen. Guess he's a male stripper by night and performs at bachelorette parties as Rock Hard Rod.

Now that has to be one of the sluttiest PennDOT workers I’ve ever seen. Guess he’s a male stripper by night and performs at bachelorette parties as Rock Hard Rod.

30. When he touches the pigskin, it lights on fire.

That means he's probably not a great football player. After all, if you touch the ball and it bursts into flames, you can't play football.

That means he’s probably not a great football player. After all, if you touch the ball and it bursts into flames, you can’t play football.

31. Within this boy lies a large ferocious beast.

However, you wouldn't know it if you looked at him. Appearances can be deceiving.

However, you wouldn’t know it if you looked at him. Appearances can be deceiving.

32. My, what small hands he has.

Okay, those are doll hands he's using. And let's face it, for a handsome guy like him, it's kind of creepy.

Okay, those are doll hands he’s using. And let’s face it, for a handsome guy like him, it’s kind of creepy.

33. “When I grow up, I want to be a welder before making a career change to a nightclub dancer.”

"What a feeling/Being's believing/I can have it all/Now I'm dancing for my life" Not sure if I want to see Flashdance. But I kind of should.

“What a feeling/Being’s believing/I can have it all/Now I’m dancing for my life” Not sure if I want to see Flashdance. But I kind of should.

34. As he dresses in black and chains so does his chihuahua.

This would've made a decent senior photo. But the image of a similarly dressed chihuahua makes it so hard to take it seriously.

This would’ve made a decent senior photo. But the image of a similarly dressed chihuahua makes it so hard to take it seriously.

35. “Okay, just a few more seconds.”

Apparently, the photographer was really pressed for time. So the picture had to be taken. Still, this boy thinks he's hot stuff doesn't he?

Apparently, the photographer was really pressed for time. So the picture had to be taken. Still, this boy thinks he’s hot stuff doesn’t he?

36. Of course, even future dominatrixes had to have attended high school.

She wanted to do her senior picture with her cat o' nine tails. But the school wouldn't allow it due to their zero tolerance weapons policy.

She wanted to do her senior picture with her cat o’ nine tails. But the school wouldn’t allow it due to their zero tolerance weapons policy.

37. “What? What’s wrong with bathing in furs and a tiara?”

Well, he seems dressed for his bath in all his finery. I know it's weird. But who are we to judge.

Well, he seems dressed for his bath in all his finery. I know it’s weird. But who are we to judge.

38. This senior is feeling just ducky under the weather.

Wouldn't be surprised if Ernie from Sesame Street had a senior picture like this. However, this isn't Ernie.

Wouldn’t be surprised if Ernie from Sesame Street had a senior picture like this. However, this isn’t Ernie.

39. When it comes to senior pictures, there are some guys who really know how to dress.

Okay, seems like someone has been watching too much Boardwalk Empire. And I don't think it's a show high school kids should watch. Well, unless their class is studying the 1920s.

Okay, seems like someone has been watching too much Boardwalk Empire. And I don’t think it’s a show high school kids should watch. Well, unless their class is studying the 1920s.

40. I guess this guy wants to be a firefighter to get on a calendar.

Sure he might be a fine firefighter. However, I'm not sure if he has a chops to make it on the hot fireman calendar. A firefighter has to be exceptionally hot for that.

Sure he might be a fine firefighter. However, I’m not sure if he has a chops to make it on the hot fireman calendar. A firefighter has to be exceptionally hot for that.

41. This guy seems pretty handy with picking up limbs.

However, he's certainly not dressed for it since his short shorts have pockets showing. And they're not practical.

However, he’s certainly not dressed for it since his short shorts have pockets showing. And they’re not practical.

42. This football player knows how to get his game on fire.

Not sure why there are photos like these. Yes, the flames are photoshopped. But it's fairly going overboard.

Not sure why there are photos like these. Yes, the flames are photoshopped. But it’s fairly going overboard.

43. You know they say, a dog is man’s best friend.

Apparently, this pair has to have T-shirts of each other. Yeah, it's pretty ridiculous if you ask me.

Apparently, this pair has to have T-shirts of each other. Yeah, it’s pretty ridiculous if you ask me.

44. When it comes to video games, this guy is playing on top of his Game Boy Advance.

This has to be the early 2000s as I see it. Because even now these are fairly obsolete.

This has to be the early 2000s as I see it. Because even now these are fairly obsolete.

45. As we all know, jamming on guitars always looks cool.

Uh, is that guy getting strangled? Seriously, did these guys think this pose through? Because this doesn't look good.

Uh, is that guy getting strangled? Seriously, did these guys think this pose through? Because this doesn’t look good.

46. Sure she didn’t go to Hogwarts but she wanted her senior picture taken in Gryffindor garb.

Yes, she's more obsessed Harry Potter than most people. And this is coming from a woman who dressed as Hermione Granger for Halloween in college.

Yes, she’s more obsessed Harry Potter than most people. And this is coming from a woman who dressed as Hermione Granger for Halloween in college.

47. A true warrior always has to have a horse.

Riding a horse is one thing. Riding on one in a toga with a sword, that's just crazy. Seriously, that's insane.

Riding a horse is one thing. Riding on one in a toga with a sword, that’s just crazy. Seriously, that’s insane.

48. “Don’t worry, I’ll take care of this log for you.”

Don't worry, she's just using a chainsaw to cut logs. You know like yard work. She's not going to kill anyone with it.

Don’t worry, she’s just using a chainsaw to cut logs. You know like yard work. She’s not going to kill anyone with it.

49. Once Vince is out of high school, he plans on joining the family business.

He plans to be in waste management like his father before him. Of course, he does have an uncle who's living in Arizona he hasn't seen in years.

He plans to be in waste management like his father before him. Of course, he does have an uncle who’s living in Arizona he hasn’t seen in years.

50. In her camo dress, this country girl holds her hunting rifle with pride.

I know there are plenty of hunters. But still, why pose with your gun? It's ludicrous in my opinion. Seriously, they kill people.

I know there are plenty of hunters. But still, why pose with your gun? It’s ludicrous in my opinion. Seriously, they kill people.

51. This guy would dive anywhere for a buck.

And yes, he'd even go to the bottom of a pool in his suit. Yes, I know this guy's insane.

And yes, he’d even go to the bottom of a pool in his suit. Yes, I know this guy’s insane.

52. During a dark and stormy day, this senior is ready to rip.

Apparently, he was voted Most Likely to Stage a Chainsaw Massacre. Doesn't help that he's wearing a White Castle tank top either.

Apparently, he was voted Most Likely to Stage a Chainsaw Massacre. Doesn’t help that he’s wearing a White Castle tank top either.

53. A guy like this is bound to set a woman’s heart on fire.

Maybe some women. But not me. Apparently, I've seen more ripped guys than that. Sorry.

Maybe some women. But not me. Apparently, I’ve seen more ripped guys than that. Sorry.

54. In the morning, this young man takes his Life.

Yes, his Life cereal with 2% milk. Apparently, he'd rather get his photo session over with at breakfast.

Yes, his Life cereal with 2% milk. Apparently, he’d rather get his photo session over with at breakfast.

55. It’s not uncommon for seniors to have their photos with their cars. Not sure if it was a good idea for this guy.

I have a friend from high school who drove a rusty white van This guy's ride make his lousy ride look like a luxury convertible.

I have a friend from high school who drove a rusty white van This guy’s ride make his lousy ride look like a luxury convertible.

56. For this senior, Monster energy drinks give him a boost.

Yes, I remember fellow classmates drinking energy drinks. However, they're very bad for you since they contain tons of caffeine. Seriously, don't drink these things.

Yes, I remember fellow classmates drinking energy drinks. However, they’re very bad for you since they contain tons of caffeine. Seriously, don’t drink these things.

57. Who says that real men don’t wear pink?

Sure there's no problem wearing pink. But that pink suit seems to make me think this guy will end up being either a pimp or a used car salesman.

Sure there’s no problem wearing pink. But that pink suit seems to make me think this guy will end up being either a pimp or a used car salesman.

58. When it comes to this guy, there’s nothing better than wearing a furry hat and listening to his toy tape recorder.

Hey, I had one of those tape recorders when I was a kid. Used to have a lot of fun with that. Still, this is freaky.

Hey, I had one of those tape recorders when I was a kid. Used to have a lot of fun with that. Still, this is freaky.

59. For this guy, his hustling tome is playing in the pool halls.

Yes, he's a different kind of pool boy. Wants to be the Fast Eddie of his generation. Note what Fast Eddie lost in order to beat Minnesota Fats.

Yes, he’s a different kind of pool boy. Wants to be the Fast Eddie of his generation. Note what Fast Eddie lost in order to beat Minnesota Fats.

60. In couple’s portraits, some have more class than others.

Sure they may love each other for now. But do you think we should glamorize teen pregnancy like this? Seriously, I'm happy that no one in my graduating class was pregnant by then. This is just so trashy.

Sure they may love each other for now. But do you think we should glamorize teen pregnancy like this? Seriously, I’m happy that no one in my graduating class was pregnant by then. This is just so trashy.

61. For senior year, welcome to Senior Avenue.

And according to how this guy sees it, it sucks. Since you have to think about the future as well as all the other stuff.

And according to how this guy sees it, it sucks. Since you have to think about the future as well as all the other stuff.

62. Some guys seem to enjoy the finer things in life.

Yes, he might like frilly fans and parasols. But such preferences might make you question his sexuality. Not that there's anything wrong with that. But it's still less gay than the one with the water polo players.

Yes, he might like frilly fans and parasols. But such preferences might make you question his sexuality. Not that there’s anything wrong with that. But it’s still less gay than the one with the water polo players.

63. This track star wants you to see him race against a car.

I'm sure the car will win as the track star will be run down to exhaustion. Hey, have to be honest here.

I’m sure the car will win as the track star will be run down to exhaustion. Hey, have to be honest here.

64. Sometimes all you need to lounge on a divan with a bottle.

Uh, is this kind of photo even legal? I mean the guy obviously has to be 17 or 18. And the US legal drinking age is 21.

Uh, is this kind of photo even legal? I mean the guy obviously has to be 17 or 18. And the US legal drinking age is 21.

65. There’s nothing that rings in senior year than sharing a drink with your dog.

Let's hope there's no alcohol in that wine glass. Also, why is his dog wearing a tie?

Let’s hope there’s no alcohol in that wine glass. Also, why is his dog wearing a tie? And why does he have a monocle?

66. When he swings, his bat catches flames.

I don't think you'd want a burning bat. Because it's not a bat. It's a torch.

I don’t think you’d want a burning bat. Because it’s not a bat. It’s a torch.

67. By senior year, we should understand that warning labels exist for a reason.

For the love of God, kid, don't pull down the lever! It's high voltage and you'll get electrocuted.

For the love of God, kid, don’t pull down the lever! It’s high voltage and you’ll get electrocuted.

68. A high school senior like him is both armed and dangerous.

I think this kid was voted by his class as Most Likely to Stage a School Shooting. Seriously, kids have been killed at schools with these weapons. For the love of God, this is seriously disturbing.

I think this kid was voted by his class as Most Likely to Stage a School Shooting. Seriously, kids have been killed at schools with these weapons. For the love of God, this is seriously disturbing.

69. How about a picture of a sexy organ grinder?

And they said that accordion players have a hard time getting dates. Organ grinders aren't much better to pose with. Since they've fallen out of regular use for decades.

And they said that accordion players have a hard time getting dates. Organ grinders aren’t much better to pose with. Since they’ve fallen out of regular use for decades.

70. A man like him always has a bottle of Nivea on his mind.

So I guess this guy tends to have problems with dry skin after shaving. Explains a lot.

So I guess this guy tends to have problems with dry skin after shaving. Explains a lot.

71. Nothing makes a more proud senior moment than sitting on an easy chair with a chainsaw on your lap.

Okay, I'm sure this kid is just into power tools. He'll probably never end up staging a chainsaw massacre. Even though he might be a prime suspect if such an event happens in his hometown.

Okay, I’m sure this kid is just into power tools. He’ll probably never end up staging a chainsaw massacre. Even though he might be a prime suspect if such an event happens in his hometown.

72. Of course, you have one senior girl who’s proud to be a cheerleader.

Uh, maybe a jumping shot isn't a good idea. Seriously, you can almost see her crotch. That doesn't seem appropriate for a senior picture.

Uh, maybe a jumping shot isn’t a good idea. Seriously, you can almost see her crotch. That doesn’t seem appropriate for a senior picture.

73. While some girls are on the cheerleading squad, others do other things to attract more fish in the sea.

In her case, the fish in the sea are quite literal if you get my drip. And she does it with net.

In her case, the fish in the sea are quite literal if you get my drip. And she does it with net. Guess her name is Downeaster Alexa and is the kind of girl who works with a rod and a reel. Okay, I listen to too much Billy Joel.

74. When it comes to reptiles, this guy likes his snakes.

Okay, this kid is freaky. Not sure if it's because of the snake or his outfit. Or the eyeliner.

Okay, this kid is freaky. Not sure if it’s because of the snake or his outfit. Or the eyeliner.

75. “Hey, want to go snorkeling with me?”

Apparently, he'd rather do it in a tuxedo. And I'm sure it's not appropriate attire underwater as far as I know.

Apparently, he’d rather do it in a tuxedo. And I’m sure it’s not appropriate attire underwater as far as I know.

76. “I use antlers in all of my decorating.”

I guess this guy is an avid hunter. Let's hope he is. Because seeing him with deer heads is giving me the creeps.

I guess this guy is an avid hunter. Let’s hope he is. Because seeing him with deer heads is giving me the creeps.

77. While Jesus walks on water, this guy does crunches on it.

Well, maybe he's crawling, not crunching. And I'm sure he's not on water. Still, not sure how this picture makes any sense.

Well, maybe he’s crawling, not crunching. And I’m sure he’s not on water. Still, not sure how this picture makes any sense.

78. Seems like this boy is looking out from a well.

Hope he's careful and doesn't fall in there. But I'm sure this guy is tempting fate. Because you don't want to be trapped in a well. You really don't.

Hope he’s careful and doesn’t fall in there. But I’m sure this guy is tempting fate. Because you don’t want to be trapped in a well. You really don’t.

79. A scenic shot is always optimal for a senior picture.

Apparently, they didn't get the memo that the country club would be running the sprinkler system that day. In my area, we have a kind of sprinkler system called, "rain."

Apparently, they didn’t get the memo that the country club would be running the sprinkler system that day. In my area, we have a kind of sprinkler system called, “rain.”

80. They always said she was a down home type.

However, she's had to do some dusting below the pots and pans. And I'm not sure if she's able to reach any of them.

However, she’s had to do some dusting below the pots and pans. And I’m not sure if she’s able to reach any of them.

81. This guy can never go without his own graphing calculator.

I suppose this kid is taking advanced math and science courses as well as aspires to be an engineer. So I guess his gadget is fairly essential to him. But why be photographed with it is the question.

I suppose this kid is taking advanced math and science courses as well as aspires to be an engineer. So I guess his gadget is fairly essential to him. But why be photographed with it is the question.

82. Sometimes doing a handstand is as good idea on paper than in reality.

Yeah, I don't think she got the hang of it. Seems like a poorly executed break dance move. Then again, I don't know much about break dancing.

Yeah, I don’t think she got the hang of it. Seems like a poorly executed break dance move. Then again, I don’t know much about break dancing.

83. Nothing is more tender than a photo of a senior and her dog.

Except her dog really isn't enjoying this photo op. As you can see by how it shows its fangs.

Except her dog really isn’t enjoying this photo op. As you can see by how it shows its fangs.

84. Nothing creates a better feel than a senior picture on the streets.

Uh, I don't think the kid lives there as you can tell by the clothes. Also, his shirt collar is all wrong.

Uh, I don’t think the kid lives there as you can tell by the clothes. Also, his shirt collar is all wrong.

85. Someday this senior wishes to drive a Mercedes Benz.

However, he's not too keen on showing his emotions as you can tell by the look on his face. Also, I don't think he's ever going to drive a Mercedes.

However, he’s not too keen on showing his emotions as you can tell by the look on his face. Also, I don’t think he’s ever going to drive a Mercedes.

86. You know what they say about a guy who plays lacrosse.

Seems like he put his helmet in a strategic area. Pray to God that he's wearing a speedo at this moment.

Seems like he put his helmet in a strategic area. Pray to God that he’s wearing a speedo at this moment.

87. There are always some people who never stop dreaming.

And there are some people who should give up on their dreams. Seriously, Chad, there's no way in hell you're going to be a Chippendale without inflicting some serious bodily harm. Also, that mullet is terrible.

And there are some people who should give up on their dreams. Seriously, Chad, there’s no way in hell you’re going to be a Chippendale without inflicting some serious bodily harm. Also, that mullet is terrible.

88. Steven always dresses sharp and is always on cue.

I guess Harold Hill was right. Maybe playing pool does lead boys down a very bad road.

I guess Harold Hill was right. Maybe playing pool does lead boys down a very bad road.

89. In car photos, perhaps a face is best reflected from a side mirror.

However, this kid seems to look like he has no soul. Watch out for him.

However, this kid seems to look like he has no soul. Watch out for him.

90. In some senior photos, there are some who have no taste in fashion.

I don't know if this is from the 1980s or 1990s but it sure looks like it. Also, is his silver get up made of duct tape?

I don’t know if this is from the 1980s or 1990s but it sure looks like it. Also, is his silver get up made of duct tape?

91. There is no picturesque scene than a waterfall.

However, I'm not sure about this one. And I hope he's wearing something. Also, is he spreading his legs? That's disturbing.

However, I’m not sure about this one. And I hope he’s wearing something. Also, is he spreading his legs? That’s disturbing.

92. Introducing the legendary Kinex warrior.

Sure you can build a lot of cool stuff with Kinex. However, a wardrobe isn't one of them. Nor is a warrior outfit either.

Sure you can build a lot of cool stuff with Kinex. However, a wardrobe isn’t one of them. Nor is a warrior outfit either.

93. This guy always knows how to pack a punch.

However, I'm not sure whether he's punching through glass or water. If glass, he doesn't seem to have any injuries. Also, how is it possible he could punch through water?

However, I’m not sure whether he’s punching through glass or water. If glass, he doesn’t seem to have any injuries. Also, how is it possible he could punch through water?

94. Of course, let’s hope this kid doesn’t suffer from his rusty mail.

Still, piss him off and he might end up going medieval on you. Nevertheless, he probably plans to major in siege warfare before going on a Crusade.

Still, piss him off and he might end up going medieval on you. Nevertheless, he probably plans to major in siege warfare before going on a Crusade.

95. Sometimes Michael has to bring on the style.

And I wouldn't be surprised if this guy ended up being cast on MTV's Jersey Shore. Because that's a horrible tan. Seriously, it seems like his dad is either John Boehner or an Ooompah-Loompah.

And I wouldn’t be surprised if this guy ended up being cast on MTV’s Jersey Shore. Because that’s a horrible tan. Seriously, it seems like his dad is either John Boehner or an Ooompah-Loompah.

96. This girl might have a Pez addiction.

Then again, she has a quite a collection of Pez dispensers. Which is mostly why people buy Pez anyway since they're quite nasty.

Then again, she has a quite a collection of Pez dispensers. Which is mostly why people buy Pez anyway since they’re quite nasty.

97. This guy’s music is bound to set the night on fire.

However, it makes you wonder what kind of explosives he put in his saxophone. Because saxes normally don't work that way.

However, it makes you wonder what kind of explosives he put in his saxophone. Because saxes normally don’t work that way.

98. After graduation, this girl is Ivy League bound.

Nevertheless, this doesn't mean that this girl has common sense. After all, getting your picture taken in the middle of traffic is not a good idea. Even children in preschool know that.

Nevertheless, this doesn’t mean that this girl has common sense. After all, getting your picture taken in the middle of traffic is not a good idea. Even children in preschool know that.

99. When it comes to hairstyles, some are beyond description.

Okay, this was probably from the 1980s. But still, it makes you think of a rat's nest on steroids.

Okay, this was probably from the 1980s. But still, it makes you think of a rat’s nest on steroids.

100. When it comes to pets, this guy really has it in for his cat.

So much so that his cat gets a cosmic image. Still, this is incredibly freaky as I see it.

So much so that his cat gets a cosmic image. Still, this is incredibly freaky as I see it.

Congratulations on Your Graduation Cake!

graduation-blue-bow-lg

While prom is a season many high schoolers look forward to in the spring, afterwards May and June are graduation season. It is a time when high school and college seniors among others gather around to finish their education with a ceremonious commencement ceremony in their cap and gowns before they embark on a hellish world of the job market and adulthood (save for those about to embark college). Sure you may have to say goodbye to friends, many of which you’ll never see again, but I’m sure your degree will guarantee you independence as well as an incentive to pay your student loans, right? Now we all know how graduation ceremonies are marked with speakers, “Pomp and Circumstance,” speeches, and all that. Of course, in families with a new graduate, this rite of passage is marked by a celebration with a cake, if you live in America. Now I can go on and on about nice graduation cakes, but many of you will think it boring. So instead I’ll give you cakes possibly decorated by someone who flunked out of cake decorating school. Yes, you’d wonder about the education these makers received to decorate cakes like this. So without further adieu, here are a collection of graduation confections gone catastrophic.

1. I bet Ashley from 2009 was either a chemistry or biology major. Congrads!

I hope she enjoys her cake with urine/beer on it. Either way, someone is going to get pissed. Also, I really don't want to know what's in the test tube.

I hope she enjoys her cake with urine/beer on it. Either way, someone is going to get pissed. Also, I really don’t want to know what’s in the test tube.

2. Congratulations, Ryan, for stopping on being a disappointment. Now was it that hard?

I have to wonder what kind of relationship Ryan has with his parents. Of course, his folks will probably be disappointed in him once more when he fails to get a job other than as a waiter at Red Lobster.

I have to wonder what kind of relationship Ryan has with his parents. Of course, his folks will probably be disappointed in him once more when he fails to get a job other than as a waiter at Red Lobster.

3. Congratulations on your MBA, Desiree, from the guy on the Dummies books.

Well, I'm sure these Dummies books aren't that bad. However, I'm not sure if I want to have a graduation cake of one. Might have unfortunate implications.

Well, I’m sure these Dummies books aren’t that bad. However, I’m not sure if I want to have a graduation cake of one. Might have unfortunate implications.

4. Congratulations, on completing your nursing degree, Nicole. Stick it to ’em, girl!

Of course, when it comes to sticking thermometers in rear ends, this is pretty mild in comparison. Still, I wonder what kind of cakes they had for her brothers, an ob/gyn and a urologist respectively.

Of course, when it comes to sticking thermometers in rear ends, this is pretty mild in comparison to what real nurses have to deal with in the hospital. Still, I wonder what my nursing school cousin would think about this.

5. Congratulations, Tiffany, Class of 2009. Here’s an ipod cake with an Eminem album.

Now while I have no problem with Eminem, this album really makes this graduation cake rather depressing. It's as if Tiffany's future is going to be rather bleak and depressing.

Now while I have no problem with Eminem, this album really makes this graduation cake rather depressing. It’s as if Tiffany’s future is going to be rather bleak and depressing.

6. “The tossel was worn with the hostle!” What?

While Abby may be a graduate, the cake decorator's strong suit certainly wasn't in spelling, reading, or English. Seriously, this is bound to give English teachers nightmares.

While Abby may be a graduate, the cake decorator’s strong suit certainly wasn’t in spelling, reading, or English. Seriously, this is bound to give English teachers nightmares.

7. Congratulations, valid Victorian!

From Cake Wrecks: "Prithee, lord Westerbunkle, wouldst thou care for a celebratory spot of Earl Grey?" Yeah, this is the kind of graduation cake for someone who loves Steampunk.

From Cake Wrecks: “Prithee, lord Westerbunkle, wouldst thou care for a celebratory spot of Earl Grey?” Yeah, this is the kind of graduation cake for someone who loves Steampunk.

8. When it comes to putting initials on graduation cakes, you might want to wonder if they have any unfortunate context.

When I see KKK, I think about white supremacy, racism, lynching, scary white robes, Birth of a Nation, cross burnings, and racially motivated terrorism. Not, "Good Luck!," "Live, Laugh, and Love," "Dream Big," and "We are so Proud!" Seriously, why?

When I see KKK, I think about white supremacy, racism, lynching, scary white robes, Birth of a Nation, cross burnings, and racially motivated terrorism. Not, “Good Luck!,” “Live, Laugh, and Love,” “Dream Big,” and “We are so Proud!” Seriously, why?

9. Congratulations on your graduation, here is your cap and…..diploma. Wait a minute, is that a severed finger?

Seriously, the diploma looks as like a severed finger with a ribbon tied on it. Apparently, someone is very bad at drawing a scroll or forgot to put a swirl on the top just so it doesn't horrify us.

Seriously, the diploma looks as like a severed finger with a ribbon tied on it. Apparently, someone is very bad at drawing a scroll or forgot to put a swirl on the top just so it doesn’t horrify us.

10. Congratulations, but just the fax, ma’am.

Interesting how some decorators tend to inscribe their cakes with everything they seem to hear on the phone. Seriously, I wonder what the graduate would think seeing this on a cake for their party.

Interesting how some decorators tend to inscribe their cakes with everything they seem to hear on the phone. Seriously, I wonder what the graduate would think seeing this on a cake for their party.

11. Congratulations, class of 2012, hope some ass doesn’t try to piss you off.

From Cake Wrecks: "In 2012 bakers broadened their horizons by combining the fine art of Dali-esque surrealism with a post-modern monochromatic aesthetic: I call it, "Tar Donkey Butt-Peeing."" Seriously, it really does look like that.

From Cake Wrecks: “In 2012 bakers broadened their horizons by combining the fine art of Dali-esque surrealism with a post-modern monochromatic aesthetic: I call it, “Tar Donkey Butt-Peeing.”” Seriously, it really does look like that.

12. Hats off, class of 2009!

I didn't know that grad caps came with ear flaps. Since I didn't have grad caps that came with those back in 2008 or 2012. Must be a Canadian thing.

I didn’t know that grad caps came with ear flaps. Since I didn’t have grad caps that came with those back in 2008 or 2012. Must be a Canadian thing.

13. Congratulations, Olivia. Hope you passed with flying colors.

I sure don't want to know what this unicorn passed with flying colors. Looks like the rainbow is coming out of its rear end, which makes a rather disgusting connection between rainbows and unicorns.

I sure don’t want to know what this unicorn passed with flying colors. Looks like the rainbow is coming out of its rear end, which makes a rather disgusting connection between rainbows and unicorns.

14. Congratulations, Chris, have a Crown Royal!

Just make sure you're not posting any drunk photos on Facebook. Because employers do check your social network pages. And posting wasted pictures can deny you a job.

Just make sure you’re not posting any drunk photos on Facebook. Because employers do check your social network pages. And posting wasted pictures can deny you a job.

15. Congratulations, and let’s hope the zombie apocalypse isn’t coming any time soon.

Yeah, your brain is worth $30,000. Your college education would be a waste if zombies ate you or went after you for your brains.

Yeah, your brain is worth $30,000. Your college education would be a waste if zombies ate you or went after you for your brains.

16. Congratulations, from the Cthulhu School of Necronomic Evil, Oblivion, and World Domination.

Yeah, I'm sure little children won't get the reference on this cake. Still, not sure if it's appropriate for graduation.

Yeah, I’m sure little children won’t get the reference on this cake. Still, not sure if it’s appropriate for graduation.

17. Congratulations, have a cold one.

Now I have to admire how they used Bud Light beer cans and ice for this cake as a cooler. Still, let's hope it's for college graduation, please.

Now I have to admire how they used Bud Light beer cans and ice for this cake as a cooler. Still, let’s hope it’s for college graduation, please.

18. Congratulations on your graduation, Mr. Jason Tibbles!

Sure this is a graduation cake with LOLcats, but still, it's quite funny having a cat picture on a graduation cake. Nevertheless, I hope Mr. Tibbles didn't overdo on the catnip with his Alpha Theta Meow fraternity brothers.

Sure this is a graduation cake with LOLcats, but still, it’s quite funny having a cat picture on a graduation cake. Nevertheless, I hope Mr. Tibbles didn’t overdo on the catnip with his Alpha Theta Meow fraternity brothers.

19. Congratulations, Christina in the banner. Wait, what?

I'm sure this is another cake decorator who takes things too literally. Also, probably sucked at reading comprehension, listening, and following directions.

I’m sure this is another cake decorator who takes things too literally. Also, probably sucked at reading comprehension, listening, and following directions.

20. Congratulations, class of 2009 from frog licking traffic sign.

Yes, it's supposed to be a graduation cap. But it looks like a sign you'd see on the Interstate during roadwork season after school is out. At least if you live in Pennsylvania.

Yes, it’s supposed to be a graduation cap. But it looks like a sign you’d see on the Interstate during roadwork season followed by a group of guys from PennDOT. At least if you live in Pennsylvania.

21. In higher education, time loses all meaning.

Either that, or having a cake with word salad this bad probably means that the decorator at Wal Mart should be fired.

Either that, or having a cake with word salad this bad probably means that the decorator at Wal Mart should be fired.

22. Congratulations, Crystal. By the way, use protection. Just an FYI.

Yeah, the tassel looks like a piece of litter, I'd see at the cemetery where I live. Assuming that some people think cemeteries are great spots Sunday afternoon tryst.

Yeah, the tassel looks like a piece of litter, I’d see at the cemetery where I live. Assuming that some people think cemeteries are great spots Sunday afternoon tryst.

23. Class of 2007, rocks! Fireworks explosion.

Apparently, this decorator either couldn't draw fireworks with icing, or just took the directions too literally. Thus, adding lameness to a cake that could've been awesome.

Apparently, this decorator either couldn’t draw fireworks with icing, or just took the directions too literally. Thus, adding lameness to a cake that could’ve been awesome.

24. Congratulations, Torianne on your graduation. Great Gatsby!

Seriously, I'm not sure The Great Gatsby is the kind of book you put on a graduation cake. Seriously, it's a book about a guy who changes his whole identity and gets rich through bootlegging so he could win the heart of his ex-girlfriend who's already married with a kid. Also, decorator failed to follow directions.

Seriously, I’m not sure The Great Gatsby is the kind of book you put on a graduation cake. Seriously, it’s a book about a guy who changes his whole identity and gets rich through bootlegging so he could win the heart of his ex-girlfriend who’s already married with a kid. Also, decorator failed to follow directions.

25. Class of 2008: I want sprinkles!

Yeah, seems like another decorator flunked reading comprehension, listening, and following directions. I think this person wanted sprinkles on a cake, not the words, "I want sprinkles!"

Yeah, seems like another decorator flunked reading comprehension, listening, and following directions. I think this person wanted sprinkles on a cake, not the words, “I want sprinkles!”

26. Congratulations, on graduating medical school! Well, job done, Dr. Huskins!

Seems like this cake decorator has no understanding of English or that Yoda took a side job as a commercial cake decorator at Wal Mart.

Seems like this cake decorator has no understanding of English or that Yoda took a side job as a commercial cake decorator at Wal Mart.

27. Happy graduation day, from the evil blonde girl in the cap and gown.

Of course, she probably has a job lined up for her at her dad's company, no doubt. Still, this girl seems like she's hiding something sinister under her robes.

Of course, she probably has a job lined up for her at her dad’s company, no doubt. Still, this girl seems like she’s hiding something sinister under her robes.

28. Congrats, John ’08. Oh, no, that ain’t right.

Seems like the graduate is doing a really terrible thing to the school mascot. Now if I had cake like this at my grad party, let's say it wouldn't go well with my relatives with young children.

Seems like the graduate is doing a really terrible thing to the school mascot. Now if I had cake like this at my grad party, let’s say it wouldn’t go well with my relatives with young children.

29. Finally! Congratulations, Becky! Kick Ass!

Seriously, you'd think Becky's parents would have a less creepy photo of her from her childhood. Guess I was wrong. I mean this little girl in make up seems absolutely terrifying to me.

Seriously, you’d think Becky’s parents would have a less creepy photo of her from her childhood. Guess I was wrong. I mean this little girl in make up seems absolutely terrifying to me.

30. Congratulations! Wait, that’s supposed to be a cap, right?

To me, they resemble 2 overlapping boxes with a string on the top one. Guess this decorator seemed to fail art class in school.

To me, they resemble 2 overlapping boxes with a string on the top one. Guess this decorator seemed to fail art class in school.

31. Congratulations on your graduation from mortuary school, Jenny.

Sure a hearse cake might be appropriate for someone who graduated from a mortuary school and plans on being a funeral director. But it's still kind of disturbing.

Sure a hearse cake might be appropriate for someone who graduated from a mortuary school and plans on being a funeral director. But it’s still kind of disturbing.

32. Congratulations, from the pointed pencil.

For how yellow this pencil is, you'd almost mistake it for a banana. And you know what that means.

For how yellow this pencil is, you’d almost mistake it for a banana. Still, if it weren’t for the point, I would’ve mistook it for something else and let’s leave it at that.

33. Congratulations, Holly and Hannah from 2 cherries projectile vomiting on a picnic table.

Now that certainly doesn't look like a graduation cap to me. Besides, I need an old cherry pitter and a young cherry pitter.

Now that certainly doesn’t look like a graduation cap to me. Besides, I need an old cherry pitter and a young cherry pitter, please.

34. Congratulations, graduate and don’t forget your hood.

Either this person got graduation cap and hood mixed up or is a Star Wars fan. Well, I'm sure Galactic Senate guards have graduation ceremonies, too.

Either this person got graduation cap and hood mixed up or is a Star Wars fan. Well, I’m sure Galactic Senate guards have graduation ceremonies, too.

35. Here’s to you Class of 2009, and we hope you’ll meet your death as blood spattered innocents.

Man, melted icing sure can create gory effects, even when it's not needed. Seriously, that looks like blood and more suited for Halloween than graduation.

Man, melted icing sure can create gory effects, even when it’s not needed. Seriously, that looks like blood and more suited for Halloween than graduation.

36. For those grads wanting to put a stamp of their religious views, you might not want a cake from this bakery.

Communion, on your knees, seriously? That doesn't look good. Why can't the communion cake figures have the parishioner standing, for God's sake? I mean it would be way less creepier.

Communion on your knees, seriously? That doesn’t look good. Why can’t the communion cake figures have the parishioner standing, for God’s sake? I mean it would be way less creepier.

37. For those compelled to have a photo of their grad on a cake, either go wit the “boring” or the “greened silhouette” option.

This is also a great option for grads in the Witness Protection Program like mafia princesses, for instance. That or reformed gang bangers who've recently moved to another state.

This is also a great option for grads in the Witness Protection Program like mafia princesses, for instance. That or reformed gang bangers who’ve recently moved to another state.

38. For those who want to send their grad a heartfelt message, this is for you.

What the fuck would anyone buy a graduation cake like this? It looks like a stripper's backside for God's sake! Seriously, do these parents have any idea how inappropriate a cake like this is for graduation?

What the fuck would anyone buy a graduation cake like this? It looks like a stripper’s backside for God’s sake! Seriously, do these parents have any idea how inappropriate a cake like this is for graduation? I mean, why?

39. When it comes to sending a picture for your graduation cake, remember that some people are less tech savvy than others.

I'm sure this person seemed to put a photo of the whole file as if it came from a Wikipedia entry. Definitely not computer savvy at all. Decorator should be fired.

I’m sure this person seemed to put a photo of the whole file as if it came from a Wikipedia entry. Definitely not computer savvy at all. Decorator should be fired.

40. Congratulations, Class of 2009 of Whoville University.

Seriously, the diploma scroll looks like a Dr. Seuss hat and the confetti squiggles are incomprehensible. Seriously, that doesn't look like a scroll at all.

Seriously, the diploma scroll looks like a Dr. Seuss hat and the confetti squiggles are incomprehensible. Seriously, that doesn’t look like a scroll at all.

41. Don’t screw up, Julianne!

Of course, this great advice but is it really appropriate for a graduation cake? Seriously, either Julianne really doesn't care about her future or she's working on Wall Street.

Of course, this great advice but is it really appropriate for a graduation cake? Seriously, either Julianne really doesn’t care about her future or she’s working on Wall Street.

42. Congratulations, Laura, wait is that a cat on her head?

I think this one made the news. I think the family wanted a cap on this girl's head for her graduation cake. Guess there was some misunderstanding with the order.

I think this one made the news. I think the family wanted a cap on this girl’s head for her graduation cake. Guess there was some misunderstanding with the order.

43. Congratulations, Andrea. By the way, you’re going to die.

Sure some girls might major in medicine or have a thing with the macabre. But that doesn't mean you should put a skeleton on a graduation cake. I mean, that's just messed up.

Sure some girls might major in medicine or have a thing with the macabre. But that doesn’t mean you should put a skeleton on a graduation cake. I mean, that’s just messed up.

44. Congratulations, graduating to the Dark Side of the Force.

Now this just has to be one of the worst renditions of Darth Vader I've ever seen. Besides, the cap is way too small for him.

Now this just has to be one of the worst renditions of Darth Vader I’ve ever seen. Besides, the cap is way too small for him.

45. For those who thought the baby carrots shower cake was creepy, you ain’t seen nothing yet.

Yes, here's a graduation cake of naked babies on carrots. But this time they have caps and diplomas. Talk about creepy if you know what I mean. Yes, this is the stuff of nightmares.

Yes, here’s a graduation cake of naked babies on carrots. But this time they have caps and diplomas. Talk about creepy if you know what I mean. Yes, this is the stuff of nightmares.

46. Congratulations, from the green I-Beam thingy.

This is: A. a green dog bone or chew toy, B. a green Corinthian column, C. a dumbell, or D. All of the above. Then again, I don't want to know.

This is: A. a green dog bone or chew toy, B. a green Corinthian column, C. a dumbell, or D. All of the above. Then again, I don’t want to know.

47. Congratulations, graduate, from the Doric column or the golden tornado.

Sure it's for people who like things a little twisted. But I'm don't want to run into something like that in Kansas. Yeah, that thing should just get the hell off my lawn!

Sure it’s for people who like things a little twisted. But I’m don’t want to run into something like that in Kansas. Yeah, that thing should just get the hell off my lawn!

48. Congratulations, by the way, flattened turtle says hello.

Now the shell seems a little flat but the turtle really doesn't seem to mind. Of course, this kind of disturbs me for some reason.

Now the shell seems a little flat but the turtle really doesn’t seem to mind. Of course, this kind of disturbs me for some reason.

49. Congratulations, Jason, all downloaded and ready for viewing.

I know this is supposed to be an equation and maybe done on purpose. But I'm not sure if the guy's relatives would get it. Rather, many would complain of why don't they just get a normal cake.

I know this is supposed to be an equation and maybe done on purpose. But I’m not sure if the guy’s relatives would get it. Rather, many would complain of why don’t they just get a normal cake.

50. So remember, when it comes to cake roses, black may not be it.

Sorry, but the black roses on this cake look like shit. And by "shit" I don't mean bad. I mean the roses actually look like shit.

Sorry, but the black roses on this cake look like shit. And by “shit” I don’t mean bad. I mean the roses actually look like shit. Oh, and one of the letters is wrong.