The Dollhouse World of Miniatures

Posted by historymaniacmegan on September 19, 2018

When many of us are kids, we may have dollhouses we’d play with from time to time. They may be part of a set or homemade. Yet most will come with a family along with all kinds of furniture and accessories which are sometimes sold separately. However, while dollhouses have primarily been a domain for children, their collection and crafting can also be a hobby for many adults. Think Lester Freamon in The Wire who likes making dollhouse furniture. Nonetheless, today’s dollhouses trace their history back 400 years to the European baby house display cases that showed idealized interiors, which first appeared in the 16th century. These displays mostly consisted of cabinet display cases consisting of individual rooms. Yet, unlike most dollhouses you’d find at Wal Mart today, these were handmade with architectural details and filled with miniature household items that weren’t made to a uniform scale even within an individual house. These were solely made for adults. And no, the reasons had nothing to do with safety concerns since child labor was rampant back then. But more because these early dollhouses were often status symbols of rich people who could afford them in England, Germany, and the Netherlands. Not to mention, they often cost as much as a house. Smaller houses with more realistic exteriors appeared in Europe during the 18th century. As you’d expect, early dollhouses were all handmade until the Industrial Revolution when they began mass producing toys. Of course, while many of us played with dollhouses as kids, the miniatures I will show on this post are more the work of adult hobbyists. So enjoy for your reading pleasure.

You’d be pressed not to peek into the Palace of Versailles.

Okay, it’s a miniature display. But the detail is quite extraordinary.

2. Perhaps you might want to look in the pantry.

Looks much cleaner than a typical pantry. Yet, contains all the provisions your heat desires.

3. How about we kick back and relax in the music room?

This room even includes a large painting of a woman in a purple dress within a gold frame. Also includes a piano in the corner.

4. Best to put your bookshelves above your bathroom door.

Well, it seems more like an old-fashioned set up. Even includes a spitoon in the corner.

5. Treat yourself to some fine dining.

You’d even see a chandelier on the ceiling. Not sure if it really lights up. Also, love the miniature china.

6. A blue room should always come with considerable taste.

The furniture even matches the wallpaper. Includes painting and a gold chandelier that really lights up.

7. A floral divider always brightens a room.

The dividing wall even contains a bookshelf. Love the windows and chair.

8. Sometimes a small one room trailer is all you need.

This is more of a colorful display you’d find in a Wes Anderson movie. Still, it’s quite quaint.

9. Anyone would want to have this gorgeous kitchen.

This one has pots and pans dangling at the ceiling. Yet, you won’t find a dishwasher, sink, or refrigerator here.

10. This print shop seems quite busy.

You’d almost think Benjamin Franklin would work in such a place. Though there doesn’t seem to be a printing press in sight.

11. Sometimes it helps if the wallpaper matches the floor.

Consists of 2 striped chairs with a painting and chest of drawers between them. The chairs even match the lamps as well.

12. This bakeshop is open for business.

Includes a staircase with open air dining. Tables even have flowers on them.

13. Perhaps a more modern style may suit you.

As you can see, most of these dollhouse styles seem to date before the 1920s. Though this one has zebra rug and antique bust.

14. In a palace, you’ll find plenty of rooms with outrageous extravagance.

I’m sure this room is part of a palace. Includes a chandelier and other lavish decorations.

15. A garden can always bring beauty into a sitting room.

Seems like someone’s having a tea party in here. Yet, the pug has to grab a present.

16. I guess important business is conducted in this palace room.

Apparently, it’s quite gilded from ceiling to floor. Though you’d find fruit on the central table.

17. A white living room doesn’t need to be plain.

This room has a lot of fancy decorations. Guess this was in some lavish mansion.

18. Nobody has been to this laundromat for quite some time.

Seems like this place was built in the 1960s from what I could tell from the furniture. And the machines are all defunct.

19. We all need to relax in a calm room from time to time.

Seems like almost everything in here had to match the china. Though the chaise lounge seems quite comfy.

20. This swanky diner is always a happening place.

Indeed, this place seems straight from the 1950s. And yes, it’s made from a metal box.

21. A sultan would love to have a room like this.

This one has nice pillow seats around the table. Hope the wall is tiled with real mosaic, too.

22. The furniture must always match the wallpaper.

This one even has the curtains match as well. Got to love the pillows though.

23. A lavish throne room is always fit for a king.

This is part of a palace. Indeed, it’s quite lavish. Though I’m not sure about the color.

24. You’ll find all kinds of trinkets in this white room.

I guess the trees are photos for the background. Yet, you have to admire those Greek columns.

25. A Grecian living room should always carry a marble statue.

It’s even lit by a small chandelier. Still, got to love the fireplace.

26. Perhaps you want to lie on a flowery bed.

The floral wallpaper is pretty. Not sure how I feel about the covers.

27. You might prefer to lounge around in a more modern home.

You can see the living room on the bottom floor. And you can peek in the bedroom at the top.

28. You can’t go wrong with blue walls and white furniture.

Well, a couple of chairs aren’t white. But they go well with the white fireplace and shelf.

29. Every girl has to sleep in a pink bedroom once in awhile.

This room is in a little case. And yes, it has pink wallpaper and shelves.

30. Wonder what dresses are in store in this room.

After all, this room has plenty of dress pictures. So it’s not hard to assume it’s a dressing room.

31. A Christmas tree should always brighten a room around the holidays.

This one even includes candles which is a critical fire hazard. Though this display is supposed to reflect the 18th century.

32. You should do your laundry in this room.

Since the whole laundry room is in a bottle of detergent. Still, got to love the clothesline.

33. Got to put some wood in the stove.

This is an old-fashioned stove with copper crockery. Thank God, we have electric.

34. A desk should have as many of compartments as you desire.

This one keeps books and papers inside the top shelves. Though the green color isn’t for me.

35. A bathroom should have a modern touch.

Sure it only has red walls and a mosaic floor. But are posters necessary?

36. A design studio should have plenty of light.

This one has rather simple and wide windows. Though seems like a great place for crafts.

37. Perhaps you’d like a room with some Asian flair.

Consists of pillow seats and a low table. Yet, they also match the red cushioned sofa.

38. A white bedroom always looks clean.

Includes a shelf for white and floral blankets. Love the flowers though.

39. Any little girl would love a bedroom like this.

Has floral wallpaper and dolls on the bed. Also, you’ll find some on a shelf.

40. A 21st century kitchen should have some modern flair.

This one has a checkered floor with flowers on the tables. Includes a sleek new fridge, too.

41. Feel free to take the tea you want.

And it seems to be quite a tea party. Judging by how many teapots there are in this dining room.

42. An opulent couch can never have too many cushions.

Indeed, all these pillows come in a variety of shapes, sizes, and patterns. Love the drapes.

43. Perhaps you’d want to sit back to a roaring fire in this rustic cabin.

I bet a fire is fake. Yet, the room seems to have a rather cozy atmosphere.

44. You can spend hours in this cozy living room.

Has a bookshelf beside the couch. While the coffee table contains cacti and a starfish.

45. Seems like there’s a special occasion going on.

This room is in a modern design. Love the fancy Chinese dragon rug.

46. When greeting guests, always make a grand entrance.

Contains a fancy green door with a fancy green ceiling. Oh, and there’s some gold railing.

47. A bathtub should always match the wallpaper.

Looks like an old bathroom given the bowl and pitcher. Yet, there doesn’t seem to be a toilet.

48. Blue cabinets will surely brighten a kitchen.

Even has a fireplace next to the stove. Though you’ll find plenty of blue and white dishes.

49. You’d swear the bed was attached to the wardrobe.

This seems like something you’d find in a Renaissance castle. Yet, the woodwork is quite ornate.

50. You’d swear that you’ve been transported into an old-timey garage.

The cars are definitely Volkswagens. And some will need tires replaced.

51. Hope your kitchen is well tiled.

This is a more old-fashioned kitchen with a wooden ice box in the background. Also, note the blue and white porcelain.

52. Doesn’t hurt to gild your living room if you can afford it.

Indeed, it’s quite an extravagant parlor with flora chairs. Even includes a famous painting or 2.

53. Want to hear a song in the music room?

You should look inside the piano. It’s quite an ornate work of art.

54. Perhaps you’d like a living room with an extravagant mural.

This mural features imagery from Greek mythology. Also includes exquisite gold columns to match.

55. A luxurious home should have luxurious furniture.

And I see this furniture set includes a bed for the dog. Not sure what to think about that.

56. A royal study should be fit for a king.

Includes a chandelier and a roll-top desk in gold trim. Even has gilded walls and mirror.

57. Sometimes simplicity is best.

Though this one hardly counts as simplicity. And yes, it has a fancy dog bed, too.

58. Guess this an empty theater long after the show is done.

Seems like it’s been abandoned. Yet, the light remains on for you to see the seats.

59. You’ll find whatever you need in this pantry.

Contains all kinds of food and preserves for all your desires. Though I don’t think I’d try the milk.

60. Sometimes a quality kitchen is a fancy kitchen.

This kitchen even contains paintings. Not sure if it belongs in a room where you cook food.

61. With high columns, your home can look like a palace.

Though I think they were actually going for the Roman palace look. And yes, there’s plenty of gild to go around.

62. You’ll have plenty of counter space in this sleek modern kitchen.

Includes an oven and plenty of shelving. Could easily see this in an IKEA catalog.

63. A pantry should have everything well stored.

You’ll find all sorts of things in here. Even a Canadian goose on the table.

64. The scullery will take care of your dirty dishes.

And I see there’s a washboard and tub on the other side. Definitely not a room I’d want to be in.

65. Hope you enjoy a walk down the halls.

And yes, there’s an ornate archway. But feel free to look at the pretty paintings.

66. A stately room should have fine lavender curtains.

Has a big chandelier with fine paintings. The chairs are rather ornate, too.

67. A grand entrance must always impress.

Gas 2 grand staircases coming down the middle. But take a peek at the paintings.

68. In a Tudor room, you always rely on the window light.

Don’t see a lot of furniture here. Yet, I do find a chandelier.

69. If you can’t have cabinets, curtains work just as well.

Counter is filled with food. Yet, you’d always come to a sunny kitchen with that kind of light from the windows.

70. You will always enjoy fine dining in a green room.

You have to admire the fine wooden furnishings. While the chandelier has candles to light up the room.

71. Perhaps you might prefer to dine in a large white room.

Wonder if this is a palace room. Since it sure looks like it. Though I do love the large painting.

72. A blue bedroom can always make you relax.

Has a nice mural on the ceiling to look at. Includes white furniture with blue drapes and cushions.

73. Care to dine in a fancy room?

Has a lot of wooden furniture with a white fireplace. Includes a table filled with culinary delights.

74. Enjoy a recital in this gilded music room.

Even the piano is gilt with gold. And it has a big chandelier from the ceiling.

75. Mirror walls make for a luxurious bathroom.

Has a lovely marble bathtub with sink. Not sure how I feel about the mirrors though.

76. A living room should always have a fine mix of wooden and floral furniture.

The floral couches have gold upholstery. While a large painting sits above the fireplace.

77. You’ll find plenty of tables in this hallway.

Well, it’s more of a social hall. Contains plenty of palm trees near the table areas.

78. At this apothecary, you’ll find a cure for whatever ails you.

Has plenty of jars and boxes in fine packaging. There’s even a witch’s picture near the window.

79. An Art Deco kitchen will always give what you need.

The cabinets are in black and white. While the ice box is in a separate room.

80. Get all the produce you want from this market stand.

You can see all the fruit and vegetables to your heart’s delight. Wonder what each item costs.

81. Sometimes all you need is a nice, cozy dining room.

Even has a couple of dogs sleeping off from the table. Also has a green fireplace and archway.

82. A quaint entrance always leaves room for flowers.

Sure it’s not extravagant. Yet, seems like a rather quaint front entrance you’d find almost anywhere.

83. Now I would definitely get myself ready in this dressing room.

Mostly because the walls and furniture are purple, which is my favorite color. Love this room.

84. “Grandma, what big teeth you have?”

This is a miniature rendition of Little Red Riding Hood. And yes, the wolf is up to no good here.

85. This living room is fit for any Renaissance man or woman.

Has high columns with a globe and harp. Even has a wooden ship model.

86. Guess this bedroom belongs to an artist type.

You can see a couple of paintings near the bed. And yes, it’s in a modern design.

87. A bright cyan bedroom will always lift one’s spirits.

Has a white bed inside. While the upholstery is in gold. Yes, lavish indeed.

88. Sometimes a simple kitchen is all you need.

You’d think this was an old kitchen. Until you see a small package of Ritz crackers.

89. You’ll find plenty of dishes in this cabinet.

The dishes consist of fine china and jugs. Perfect for any old American kitchen.

90. Care to take a holiday reservation?

This seems like a rather swanky restaurant or hotel. Still, love the Christmas tree in the next room.

91. Gold furniture never goes out of style.

Once again, the set includes a luxurious dog bed. Like the gold divider though.

92. Kick back and relax in this rustic bedroom.

Has a deer head aboce the bed. And plaid curtains on each side to match. Great for a weary traveler.

93. A fancy room should always have some fancy furniture.

The walls are quite elaborate with Greek columns and wide windows. Love the chandelier.

94. Perhaps a small house may suit your fancy.

Even has a piano outside for serenades. But where’s the bathroom and the kitchen?

95. Perhaps you might go for a fancy bathroom with an ornate sink.

Comes with a chandelier and a shelf above the tub. Has a stained glass window on the tub ceiling.

96. There’s nothing like a hard day in the garden.

Contains birdhouses and pots. Even includes a rusty wagon.

97. A lovely living room should always give way to large windows.

Has a floral mural above the fireplace. Nonetheless, the pets seem to enjoy this room.

98. Wooden walls always make for a fine dining room.

The woodwork on this dining room is amazing. Love the chairs, too.

99. Blue walls will always make a room more elegant.

Here the dog sits by the wicker chair and ottoman. Love the curtain on the right.

100. A dining room should always look its best to entice guests.

Here the table is all set up and surrounded by paintings. Guess it’s a state dinner at a palace.

The Nesting World of Matryoshka Dolls

Posted by historymaniacmegan on September 21, 2016

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One of the more popular dolls around the world are Russian matryoshka dolls which is a set of wooden dolls that have one doll inside another and so on and so forth. The name “matryoshka” meaning “little matron” and is a diminutive form of the Russian girls’ name “Matryona” or “Matriosha.” Outside Russia, these are known as nesting dolls. Anyway, the original nesting doll set was carved in 1890 by Vasily Petrovich Zvyozdochkin and designed by folk crafts painter Sergey Vasilyevich Malyutin in Abramstevo. These men were inspired by a doll from Japan’s Honsu which may have been a hollow daruma doll of a Buddhist monk or a Seven Lucky Gods nesting doll. So it’s possible the popular doll sets associated with Russian arts and crafts could’ve had roots in Japan.Traditionally, the outer layer is a woman in Russian peasant garb but the figures inside can be of either gender. The smallest, innermost doll is usually a baby carved from a single piece of wood. A lot of the artistry is used in the painting of each doll which can be very elaborate. And each nesting doll set often follows a theme which can range from fairy tale characters, holiday decorations, and even Soviet leaders. For instance, my family has a nesting doll set of nutcrackers they sometimes use for Christmas. Today you can see nesting dolls covering just about anything which part of why I’m doing this post. There are even nesting doll sets from craft stores you can paint yourself. So for your reading pleasure, enjoy these unique Russian nesting doll sets.

With these Devo nesting dolls, you must whip it, whip it good.

This 1980s band was best recognized by their trademark hats. So doing a nesting doll set of the lineup wasn’t difficult.

2. Let yourself go with these nesting dolls from Frozen.

This set has Elsa, Anna, Kristoph, Hands, and Olaf in descending order. And each is well painted.

3. This nesting doll set is particularly presidential.

This one just has the presidential hits. Why FDR, Harry Truman, Teddy Roosevelt, James Madison, LBJ, and Richard Nixon weren't included, I have no idea.

This one just has the presidential hits. Why FDR, Teddy Roosevelt, James Madison, LBJ, or Richard Nixon weren’t included, I have no idea. Also, Ben Franklin wasn’t a president.

4. Henry VIII and his six wives always make for a great set of 7.

Henry VIII is the biggest while each wife is depicted in descending order. Sorry if Anne Bolelyn and Katherine Howard don't come with detachable heads.

Henry VIII is the biggest while each wife is depicted in descending order. Sorry if Anne Boleyn and Katherine Howard don’t come with detachable heads.

5. Mexicans who celebrate Dia de los Muertos can’t do without this nesting doll set.

Each one is depicted as skulls as specified. Make great decorations on any Mexican shelf.

6. This nesting doll set pays tribute to Charlie Chaplin as the Little Tramp.

Of course, one doll depicts him as he normally looked like. But as an old movie buff, I find this set awesome.

7. If you like horror comedy, this Addams family nesting doll set is a delight.

Sure it doesn’t include Lurch and Uncle Fester. But it does consist of Gomez, Morticia, and their kids.

8. This nesting doll set was made for cat fanciers in mind.

A must have for the crazy cat ladies of lore. A set of 5 cat breeds.

9. Seems like we have a US and Russian crew on this space shuttle.

Yes, it’s a crew of 4. But the largest doll is a shuttle. How cool is that?

10. From the world of Roald Dahl, no one can resist this Charlie and the Chocolate Factory set.

Includes Willy Wonka, Charlie, the 4 brats, and an Oompah-Loompah. Great for inducing nightmares from children.

11. A set of Sesame Street nesting dolls is all you need to learn your ABCs.

However, I think Big Bird should be the biggest doll, not Elmo. Also, Bert and Ernie should be shown together. But whoever made this wanted to use different colors. Cookie Monster should be bigger as well.

12. On the child unfriendly side, there’s a nesting doll set from South Park.

This one depicts the main boys as well as Mr. Poop. Please don’t ask.

13. Minion fans will enjoy a nesting doll set like these.

Well, to be fair, minions aren’t hard to paint since they’re mostly yellow. Still, these are adorable.

14. Nesting doll fans should take a look at these painted owls.

Each owl is painted in a rather stylized fashion. But each is special in its own way. Then again, owl nesting dolls are probably not hard.

15. The theme of this nesting doll set is a costumed cat family.

Each of them seem to be in Renaissance costume. I think this is based off an artist who does cat paintings.

Each of them seem to be in Renaissance costume. I think this is based off an artist who does anthropomorphic cat paintings.

16. These nesting dolls are afraid of no ghost.

Kind of bummed they don’t have the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man in this Ghostbusters line up. Well, you can’t win them all.

17. These ninja nesting will make you never see what’s coming.

After all, you don’t expect them to wear outfits in 5 different colors. Or be so adorable. Love it.

18. Civil War buffs would appreciate this nesting doll set of Union generals.

However, I’d take out George B. McClellan and Irving McDowell because one lost the Second Battle of Bull Run while the other was a perpetual chickenshit. Replace with Philip Sheridan and George H. Thomas. Or David Farragut.

19. This Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle set will make you say, “Cowabunga!”

Has the 4 Ninja Turtles and their mentor. Yes, Ninja Turtle fans, this set exists.

20. Teachers will surely appreciate a nesting doll set like this on their desks.

Each teacher has a tool to teach with in this set of 5. Not sure if they have one for guys. Probably not.

21. Florida Gators fans will enjoy this nesting doll set.

Yes, they have college sports ones as well as professional. Not sure who the players are under the helmets. Not that I care.

22. This owl set will surely be a hoot.

Yes, this is another owl nesting doll set. But these are painted more realistically. And I’m sure they’re not from North America.

23. What better way to honor Team USA during the Sochi Winter Olympics than with this nesting doll set?

I would’ve went with the Russian Rio set. But I found the wood on those dolls tested positive for performance enhancing drugs.

24. These firefighter nesting dolls are always to the rescue.

The large one even has its own hat. One even depicts a fireman trying to rescue someone from a building.

The large one even has its own hat. One even depicts a fireman in action. Includes dalmatian and fire hydrant.

25. If you’re Jewish, Russian, and like Marc Chagall, this set is for you.

Marc Chagall was a famous modernist artist who worked with several artistic styles in several artistic mediums. Part of his art was based on Eastern European Jewish folk culture.

26. Since there are so many lighthouses, there has to be a nesting doll set for them.

Noticed how the lighthouses are in different colors and styles. I guess the stripes seem to increase their visibility.

27. This nativity nesting doll set is perfect for Christmas at any home.

There are a lot of nativity scene nesting doll sets out there. This one was made for small children. So cute.

28. Nurses will appreciate this nesting doll set.

Notice how each nurse is dressed in a different way. And how each one of them handles different things.

29. Fans of Greek mythology will totally want this set of nesting dolls.

This mostly consist of mythological creatures. Not sure who or what that guy in the loin cloth is supposed to be.

30. This snowman family is all smiles in winter.

Guess this one isn’t hard to make. Still, I bet they’re all singing Christmas carols since two of them are holding books.

31. No nesting doll can be complete without a set of the King.

I may not be a fan of Elvis. But I know that many readers will appreciate these dolls. Doesn’t include his Vegas years.

32. For fairy tale sets, this Little Red Riding Hood one is worth howling over.

Includes all the known characters. However, what most people don’t know is that this children’s story originally didn’t have a happy ending. And it had sexual connotations.

33. This horror nesting doll set will give you a good scare.

These seem like extras from The Nightmare Before Christmas. But I’ll allow it. Great for those who love a good scare.

34. Not to be outdone, the Confederate side has nesting doll generals of their own.

I suppose James Longstreet is the smallest one because he became a Republican and civil rights advocate after the war. Not to mention, he didn’t think the South could win and was right.

35. This Happy Hoots nesting doll family will make you smile.

Yes, this is my third owl nesting doll set. But these have different colors on them. So I couldn’t pass it up.

36. Speaking of nesting dolls, these chickens are only fitting.

Comes with one rooster, 3 hens, and a chick. Great for down on the farm.

37. For dogs like these, it’s up to them to destroy the One Collar to rule them all.

This nesting doll set depicts dogs as Lord of the Rings characters. I know it’s crazy, right?

38. If you don’t like Ninja Turtles, a regular turtle set would do just fine.

Because while real turtles aren’t fit to be ninjas, they can be quite cool. Each one here has a unique shell.

39. For Queen fans, this nesting set will rock you.

Depicts each member of Queen and their logo. There are lots of songs from this group that get stuck in your head.

40. Those who grew up loving The Wizard of Oz will enjoy this set of nesting dolls.

Includes Dorothy, Toto, the Scarecrow, Tin Man, and Cowardly Lion. I know it’s not the best but it’s the least scary rendition.

41. This Pink Floyd nesting doll set belongs on the dark side of the moon.

Wait, that group had 5 members. Why does this set depict 4? Maybe because Syd Barrett left the group early.

42. While some nesting doll sets are nativity scenes, this one depicts the life of Christ.

You have a lot of these sets, too. Usually they start at the nativity. This one depicts some of Jesus’s miracles and the Good Samaritan.

43. You have to have a hard heart not to appreciate this nesting doll set of woodland creatures.

Well, one of them is a chick while 2 are insects. But the others are a fox, rabbit, and owl. Probably made for kids.

44. A Van Gogh nesting doll set is great for anyone with a lust for life.

Shows Van Gogh’s self-portrait with 4 of his best known paintings. All of which didn’t earn him a dime.

45. For Will and Kate’s wedding, these nesting dolls are best desired.

Consists of Will and Kate, Elizabeth II and Philip, Charles, Diana, and Harry. All in a red background.

46. Since nesting dolls are from Russia, it’s only fair I present you a set of modern Russian leaders.

Soviet and otherwise to get my drift, starting with Lenin. But Putin is included.

47. This nesting doll set of Goldilocks and the Three Bears is just right.

Like how they made all the bears bigger than Goldilocks. She really should’ve known not to break into a bear home.

48. From New Zealand, is this set of Maori nesting dolls.

The Maori are the indigenous people of New Zealand who do exist (unlike Hobbits). They’re known for their striped grass skirts.

49. Fans of Wes Anderson will adore this nesting doll set of the Grand Budapest Hotel.

Depicts characters from the hit Wes Anderson movie that should’ve won the Oscar for Best Picture. Still, this is great.

50. No, I don’t think this is a set of ninja nesting dolls.

These are nesting dolls of Muslim women in the Middle East. Well, at least ones wearing a chador that only shows the eyes.

51. Russian nesting doll beauties always look great in furs.

Well, they seemed to dress quite fancy. But Russian winters can be quite brutally cold.

52. These painted women nesting dolls seem as immortal on wood as they are on canvas.

I guess these are from Renaissance paintings since they depict the Virgin Mary. Not to mention, a bunch of women dressed from the 16th century.

53. As with nesting dolls, burlesque involves multiple layers.

As you can see how each succeeding doll has less and less clothes on. The last one is totally nude.

54. No one can resist this panda bear nesting doll family.

I don’t think pandas live in groups like that for they’re solitary creatures. But this set is adorable.

55. This Obama First Family nesting doll set is sincerely presidential.

Let’s just say I’ll miss this bunch after Obama is out of office. This is especially if Mr. Hamsterhair gets elected president which I think will be an absolute nightmare.

56. This nesting doll set is among the best from the Hundred Acre Wood.

Includes Winnie the Pooh, Tigger, Eeyore, Rabbit, and Piglet. Not sure if the Eeyore one had a great paint job.

Includes Winnie the Pooh, Tigger, Eeyore, Owl, and Piglet. Not sure if the Eeyore one had a great paint job.

57. These dog nesting dolls seem all ready for a feast.

Seems like they are. Each seems to have their own dish according to breed. Viewers will adore this.

58. This dog nesting doll set is even loved by man’s best friend.

A lot of dog nesting doll sets seem to show single breeds. This one doesn’t which is why I put it on this post.

59. The Dark Knight of Gotham always needs his own nesting doll set.

This set is from the Dark Knight Saga. Features Bane, Catwoman, and the Joker.

60. If you like Russian fairy tales, these nesting dolls are just the thing.

Since nesting dolls are from Russia, it’s only fair. The large one has the gorgeous Firebird.

61. This nesting doll set depicts the planets of the Solar System.

This is sorted by size, by the way. And in accordance with most scientists, Pluto is not included.

62. Though Russian, nesting dolls can depict a variety of different cultures. This set is from Africa.

Probably from the sub Saharan region but I can’t say where. But you have to admire the colorful outfits.

63. For Czarist nostalgia, you have this Royal family nesting doll set.

Just remember that this set depicts a family that would all be killed by the Bolsheviks during the Russian Revolution. Let that sink in.

64. These Disney Princess nesting dolls have all the royal touches.

Sure Mulan, Pocahontas, and Tiana aren’t included. But they’re not exactly princesses per se. Then again, Elsa is actually a queen.

65. Another Wes Anderson nesting doll set is from the Life Aquatic with Steve Zissou.

It’s about a Jacques Cousteau like captain and his crew. But they all seem to wear the same outfit.

66. When it comes to nesting dolls, you never know how many can fit inside each other.

Most nesting doll sets usually consist of 5-8 dolls. But this one has almost infinite that you can barely see the smallest one.

67. These ninja nesting dolls all wear black and gold.

Yes, it’s another ninja nesting doll set. But these are dressed and black and have knives on them.

68. If you like animals and Wes Anderson, these Fantastic Mr. Fox nesting dolls will delight.

Includes all the critters you know and love from the stop motion Fantastic Mr. Fox. Adorable.

69. For these Gustav Klimt nesting dolls, each one has a masterpiece.

Klimt seems to have his way with colors, doesn’t he? His kiss is the most famous.

70. For Christmas, this nesting doll set is perfect decoration.

Then again, this might consist of more than one. But I really like the Christmas tree.

71. This second season Blackadder set is great for all your cunning plans.

This is great. Has Blackadder, Queenie, Lord Percy, Nursie, and Baldrick. Love it.

72. No one can resist these penguin nesting dolls that can melt a frozen heart.

About time, I included a penguin nesting doll set. Because these creatures are adorable. Love the beaks and tuxedos.

73. With this nesting doll set of Muhammad Ali, your shelf will truly be the greatest.

Yes, this depicts Muhammad Ali who died not to long ago. Doesn’t hurt if I put this on my post. RIP

74. Guess these nesting dolls can be nun too holy.

As it turns out this is a set of nun nesting dolls. Guess these were easy to paint. So cute.

75. Though these hot air balloon nesting dolls can’t fly, they sure delight.

Now that’s a rather clever concept. Like how each one has a different pattern. Lovely.

76. If you like old horror movies, then this set is the one for you.

Includes Frankenstein’s monster, Dracula, the Creature from the Black Lagoon, and the Mummy. Guess Wolf Man fans will be disappointed.

77. Snoopy fans will adore these Peanuts nesting dolls.

Well, it has Snoopy with his friends. Each one has a different color. Adorable.

78. Follow the life of Christ with this nesting doll set.

Like I said before, Jesus’s life is a popular nesting doll theme. This one depicts it in chronological order.

79. This nesting doll set has all the iconography.

Well, iconography from Russian and Eastern European churches. Some figures may repeat.

80. Sometimes colors and abstract concepts can be well suited for nesting dolls.

This one depicts rainbow colors with each sporting a unique pattern. Guess it’s easier than painting a face.

81. If you liked Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs, you can’t resist nesting dolls like these.

The dwarves on here seem considerably smaller than Snow White. But that’s to be expected.

82. This set of nesting dolls depicts a group that set off the British Invasion in the 1960s.

Yes, these are the Beatles possibly from 1967. Though they’re not in their Sergeant Pepper gear at this point.

83. Speaking of the Beatles, these nesting dolls all live in a yellow submarine.

It’s from the cartoon they were in during the late 1960s. So having a nesting doll set of Yellow Submarine is inevitable.

84. Hello Kitty fans can’t resist nesting doll set like this.

Each is depicted in a shade of pink and purple. Each features Hello Kitty in a different outfit.

85. For Christmas you can’t do without a nesting doll set of Good St. Nick.

Each of these has a different Santa though their faces mostly look the same. And so do their clothes.

86. This nesting doll set is boldly going where no man has gone before.

The Scotty and Dr. McCoy nesting dolls don’t seem to look right on this. Also, there’s no Chekov.

87. These robot nesting dolls might be metal but they’ll melt your heart.

Each one has a different machine configuration. One may be radioactive.

88. This Game of Thrones nesting doll set has a wide range of characters.

Remember that some of these will not be coming back next season. But the show’s really popular so I have it on here.

89. For Nightmare Before Christmas fans, these nesting dolls are a must have.

Who knew that you’d have a nesting doll set for this. Oogie Boogie is the biggest one here.

90. On Middle Earth, this is the nesting doll set to rule them all.

This one is of the Fellowship of the Ring from Lord of the Rings. Notice the the Ring is the smallest piece.

91. These nesting dolls are coming for your brains.

Man, these zombie nesting dolls surely look hideous. Doesn’t help that it has a bloody brain.

92. If you like Stanley Kubrick, this Clockwork Orange nesting doll set is for you.

Personally, I prefer to see ones of Barry Lyndon, Spartacus, or Dr. Strangelove. Yet, know that A Clockwork Orange is a very violent movie. Very violent.

93. This Harry Potter nesting doll set will make you the pride of Hogwarts.

This mainly consist of Hogwarts students. Looks like Draco Malfoy has the smallest piece.

94. This Fab Four nesting doll set is a true collectors’ item.

Yes, it’s another Beatles nesting doll set. But this one depicts them early in their career. That’s different.

95. This Apple Steve Jobs nesting doll set is truly revolutionary.

Each doll has Jobs holding a different item. Smallest one has the icon.

96. These Batman nesting dolls are surely imposing.

Each one is of Batman in his batsuit and bat logo. Don’t ask. Clever.

97. This nesting doll set has all the czars.

Well, all the czars you probably know. And some that you don’t but should.

98. These modern art nesting dolls are a treat to look at.

I think they’re supposed to be in the style of Malevich. Have no idea who that is.

99. From Pixar, these Inside Out nesting dolls are a great fit.

This one has all the feelings in Riley’s head. Includes Joy, Fear, Disgust, Sadness, and Anger.

100. Finally, you can’t possibly do without a nesting doll set of nutcrackers.

Doesn’t exactly look like the one my family has. But as far as nesting doll Christmas decorations go, it will do.

Dress Up Fun with Fashion Dolls

Posted by historymaniacmegan on September 21, 2015

Though I did play with Barbies as a girl like most out there, it was more for roleplaying than anything to do with fashion. They were a toy just like any other. The Barbies were my actors and the clothes were just costumes. I’d be the one making up the characters and voices. However, even before Barbie, there have been other fashion dolls. Hell, the first fashion doll was the French Bisque which was from the 19th century. Nevertheless, there has never been a fashion doll like Barbie and never will. And even though Barbie is seen as a toy by most, there are plenty of people who never stop playing with them and even collect them. Yeah, it’s not just adult men who collect toys, you know. For decades Barbie has been used as a model to reflect fashion trends. But she’s hardly alone. In this post, I’ll show you how fashion dolls are an art form all on their own. Some of them might be fashion plates akin to others on the run way. Some might wear outfits from an bygone era or another culture. And some might be designed and dressed to resemble characters you see from pop culture whether they be movies, TV shows, books, and what not. Others may be famous celebrities. But none of these dolls were meant for little girls to play with. So without further adieu, here I bring you some of the many fashion dolls you might feast your eyes on.

Those who like foreign films and crime would love this French gangster’s moll Barbie.

Now this might not be a Barbie. And I’m definitely sure she’s not supposed to be a French gangster’s moll. However, her outfit and facial expression suggests that she’s straight from a French gangster movie.

2. Experience late 1940s French fashion with this Christian Dior’s New Look Barbie.

Now this is the look that reestablished Paris as the capital of the fashion world after WWII. It was extremely popular in the post-war era.

3. Celebrity and historical figures are rather popular fashion subjects. This one is of Queen Marie Antoinette as she looked before the French Revolution.

Contrary, to popular belief, Marie Antoinette didn’t say “Let them eat cake.” She didn’t cheat on her husband (though I wouldn’t blame her if she did). She had no political influence on the French Court despite having a mother and brother ruling the Austrian Empire. And while her spending was very extravagant, it wasn’t unusual by French royalty standards.

4. Now here’s Barbie as Marguerite Gautier from the Greta Garbo 1936 film Camille.

Of course, we have to understand that Marguerite is the 19th century equivalent to a high class hooker. However, she does fall in love and succumb to tuberculosis during the movie.

5. All the way from Africa may I present to you Tribal Princess Barbie.

I don’t know about this one. Now I know there light skinned Africans but they mostly reside in the Sahara region. The outfit looks more like it’s from the Savannah. So my guess is that her mother was raped by a great white hunter.

6. For you Lord of the Rings fans out there, you might enjoy your very own Arwen and Aragorn Barbie and Ken.

You wouldn’t know it, but these two have a very huge age difference between them. I mean she’s like around 2800 years old. And he’s considerably younger. Then again, age may just be a number on Middle Earth.

7. Many fashion dolls depict fashion you’d see from foreign cultures. This one is from Korea.

Of course, this is a more historical dress. However, all East Asians seem to dress alike to be. Well, to an extent. Of course, I’m not as familiar with Korea as I am with China and Japan.

8. This doll looks quite captivating in her Edwardian corset, big hat, and hobble skirt.

The hobble skirt was a short lived fashion trend in 1910-1913. These greatly restricted mobility that women had to take very small steps.

9. For all you Greek mythology enthusiasts, you might be interested to see Medusa Barbie.

Yes, she might be pretty and even alluring. But you might take note that looking at her will get you stoned. And I don’t mean high. I mean literally turned into stone. Perseus had to use a mirror in order to kill her.

10. Say G’Day to this lovely Australia Barbie.

The only way you can tell she’s Australian is that she has a koala wrapped around her arm. Other than that, she can pass for either Indiana Jones Adventure Barbie or High Fashion Texas Cowgirl Barbie.

11. This Barbie is all dressed and ready to celebrate the Chinese New Year.

Now this is definitely Chinese outfit, though retrofitted for modern fashion. Of course, she also has a rather interesting hairstyle, too.

12. Ladies and gentlemen, I give you Victoria’s Secret Fashion Barbie.

I’m sure this Barbie Doll was definitely not made for children. And I’m positive she’s wearing an outfit no woman would actually wear. Yes, I don’t understand either.

13. Step into fantasy with your very own unicorn princess Barbie.

It’s what you get in a fashion doll when you have a fairy tell princess employ Lady Gaga’s fashion consultant. Seriously, I don’t know why they have the unicorn on the dress. I mean that’s crazy.

14. This Steampunk Barbie is geared up and ready for action.

Steampunk is kind of hard to explain since it employs Victorian clothing and steam technology in a sci-fi fashion. However, this doll might risk arrest for wearing a slutty outfit like that in Victorian London.

15. For all you Audrey Hepburn fans out there, you’ certainly delight in this fashion doll of her from Roman Holiday.

So Roman Holiday isn’t nearly as famous as Breakfast at Tiffany’s? Yes, the latter made Audrey into a style icon but it’s a highly overrated film. Roman Holiday, on the other hand, is very charming and wonderful all the way through. Seriously. Breakfast at Tiffany’s doesn’t even hold a candle to Roman Holiday.

16. Relive the Belle Epoque of late 19th century Paris with this Can-Can dancer fashion doll.

Despite that you see can-can dancers in a lot of media geared to PG audiences, the can-can wasn’t originally considered a wholesome dance in its hey day. This was because women typically wore dresses that made it difficult to go to the bathroom.

17. This fashion doll is decked in traditional garb all the way from India.

I know this isn’t bridal attire since Indian women typically wear bright red and a lot more jewelry. And I’m sure this isn’t really Barbie either. But I’ll take it.

18. Spring Fairy Barbie always has to have glitter on her wings.

Not sure what to make of that outfit though. But it seems to go nicely with the background. Think the wings are the best thing about it however.

19. Now this fashion doll holds flowers in both hands to celebrate the spirit of spring.

Now I’m sure this isn’t Barbie. But I also have no idea whether this is supposed to be a generic spring doll or depict an actual goddess or character. I just know it has something to do with spring.

20. Relive the glory of the British Empire and the Victorian Age with this Queen Victoria fashion doll.

Now this depicts the young Queen Victoria around her coronation when she’s only a teenager. However, I have to admit, that it does get a lot of her proportions right. Still, you’d never see such realism in a Barbie doll though.

21. Play a game of croquet with your very own Queen of Hearts Barbie.

Prettiest Queen of Hearts I’ve ever seen from Alice in Wonderland. However, you should be aware that she’s a real bitch who’s willing to decapitate people for the smallest offenses. Also, has a really nasty temper.

22. Enjoy the glories of Imperial China with Imperial Chinese Princess Barbie.

Actually she should be Ching Dynasty Princess Barbie. Because her qipao outfit is clearly Manchurian. Chinese robes open in the middle.

Actually she should be Ching Dynasty Princess Barbie. Because her qipao outfit is clearly Manchurian. Manchurians aren’t technically Chinese. Chinese robes open in the middle. Also needs to wear smaller shoes.

23. Now this angelic fashion doll certainly has an heavenly presence.

While angels are represented as lovely human beings with wings, you’d be surprised what they look like in The Bible. Seriously, biblical cherubs don’t really look like cute chubby babies. Neither did Cupid in Greek mythology.

24. Now this doll wedding scene helps underscore vintage 1920s elegance.

Now this isn’t Barbie from what I can tell. However, I really have to scratch my head at people who want to throw Great Gatsby themed parties. Seriously, I wonder if these people have any idea what the book is really about.

25. Enjoy the magic of Roma with this lovely Italian Barbie.

Now she’s certainly dressed like you’d expect in Italy. And she’s carrying her own basket with yellow flowers. Kind of prefer she carry cheese, bread, and other foodstuffs.

26. You can’t understand true love without Ken and Barbie as Romeo and Juliet.

Romeo and Juliet: A Shakespearean play that depicts two teenagers getting together amid familial gang violence, getting hitched within days, and killing themselves. Yeah, really make all the wrong decisions there. Still, despite content is said to be one of the greatest love stories of all time.

27. Reenact the famous Andrew Lloyd Weber musical with Ken and Barbie as Erik and Christine from Phantom of the Opera.

Of course, it’s disturbing that everyone thinks the relationship between Erik and Christine is romantic. It’s not. It’s downright creepy. I mean the guy is selfish, controlling, manipulative, and not above kidnapping his “beloved” so he could force her to marry him. And yet, he’s seen as a sex symbol. Sorry, but Erik is a total bastard.

28. Enjoy the violet eyed splendor with this Elizabeth Taylor fashion doll in purple.

Yes, Elizabeth Taylor was one of Hollywood’s radiant stars. However, we should remember she was an alcoholic who was married 8 times. Twice to Richard Burton.

29. Love Pirates of the Caribbean? Well, you’ll adore this fashion doll of Captain Jack Sparrow.

Now that’s almost a dead ringer to the famous Johnny Depp character himself. Hope he doesn’t run into zombie pirates. Wish he had his hat though.

30. This Native American fashion doll is absolutely stunning.

Yes, she has blue eyes. But she has lots of feathers all over her. Besides, I like her better than the other Native American dolls I’ve seen on Pinterest.

31. Relive the magic of Camelot with Ken and Barbie as King Arthur and Guinevere.

This is from the Lerner and Lowe musical from the 1960s. I’m more of a fan of Monty Python and the Holy Grail. But my mom likes Camelot, so it goes on the post.

32. Of course, you can’t have a tribute to Las Vegas without Vegas Showgirl Barbie.

How else can I explain seeing Barbie in a scantily clad outfit with feathers. Wonder if it comes with drunk gambling addict Ken.

33. In outfits like these Ken and Barbie seem to go where no man has gone before.

In this Ken is Captain Kirk, one of the most alien STD laden men in the galaxy. Barbie is Yeoman Rand, Kirk's main squeeze who strangely disappeared after the first season.

In this Ken is Captain Kirk, one of the most alien STD laden men in the galaxy who can’t keep it in his pants. Barbie is Yeoman Rand, Kirk’s main squeeze who strangely disappeared after the first season.

34. Now this Margot Channing fashion doll won’t be had for the price of a cocktail.

Yes, this is Bette Davis in her most famous role from All About Eve. Of course, Margot is a great star, a true star, and will never be any less. Eve Harrington, on the other hand, is a scheming two-timing bitch played by Anne Baxter. Fasten your seat belts, indeed.

35. Relive the splendor of the Napoleonic Age with this Empress Josephine fashion doll.

Basically she was Napoleon Bonaparte’s shopaholic wife, whom he later dumped to marry an Austrian trophy princess. Well, he only did it because he wanted a son and she couldn’t give him one. Still, his love letters to her read a lot like crazy texts. Seriously, they’re hysterical.

36. Experience the suspense of Alfred Hitchcock with your very own Barbie of Tippi Hedren from The Birds.

Don’t worry I’m sure the birds won’t peck her to death. That would be Susanne Pleshette’s character.

37. This 1920s flapper Barbie plans to dance the night away.

Now I’m sure she’s not going to look as stunning as this when she wakes up with a hangover the next morning. Yeah, she’s going need something for that hangover.

38. Relive the glory of the Lord of the Rings with your very own Galadriel Barbie.

Not quite like Cate Blanchett but at least they got the dress right. And the hairdo as well. Hey, why buy a Barbie princess when you can buy a queen?

39. This Japanese Barbie has the elegance and charm like a geisha.

Okay, she looks like a geisha and I know what it is in Japan. However, I hope this doll comes with Samurai Ken. Love the parasol.

40. Come fly and swing with your very own Frank Sinatra fashion doll.

Yes, Old Blue Eyes has a wonderful voice, indeed. Too bad he manage to ruin it through alcohol and cigarettes. You know, basically the two substances that have killed more people in Hollywood than anything else.

41. Of course, this couple of fashion dolls are kind of on the dark side.

Yeah, they kind of look like a cross between Poldark and Sweeny Todd. However, you have to go with what you have.

42. Of course, I can’t do a post on fashion dolls without including the one and only Marilyn Monroe.

Sure she might’ve died at home of an overdose at 36. But even so, she still remains an American beauty icon and Hollywood legend.

43. This holiday party Barbie is well dressed in a blue snowflake dress for all occasions.

Now they have a lot of holiday Barbies out there. However, this one with the dark hair, blue snowflake dress, and cameo pearl necklace is the one I liked best.

44. When it comes to fashion dolls, nobody seems to have more outfits than Scarlett O’Hara.

And this is just nine of the outfits she wears in the whole 4 hour movie. And yes, there are many more where that came from.

45. Whistle while you work with your very own Snow White fashion doll.

Okay, I’m fine with Disney lying to me about my prince coming when I’m lying stone cold in a glass coffin. However, I’m not sure if I can forgive Disney for lying about the woodland creatures wanting to clean my house. Now that’s really low.

46. Travel to wonderland with this Alice in Wonderland fashion doll.

Kind of looks like an emo Alice to me for some reason. Also, I’m not sure if she looks like the Alice from the Disney movie. Probably not. Not from the Tim Burton one either.

47. Now here is Barbie dancing as the swan princess of Swan Lake.

Let’s hope this isn’t Barbie as Natalie Portman’s character from Black Swan. Then again, for something seen as feminine, ballet seems to be shockingly tragic, creepy, and practiced more like a sport.

48. This Japanese fashion doll is rather resplendent in her flowery kimono.

I can tell this is a Japanese doll since she’s wearing a kimono or two. However, I do love the red flower in her hair. This might be a foreign doll, by the way.

49. Of course, experience the magic of the Kit Kat Club of Weimar Germany with these Cabaret Barbies.

Yes, the dancers tend to dress like that in the movie. Of course, I didn’t include the emcee since he was a guy in the film. Nor did I include Sally Bowles either.

50. Now this Spanish fashion doll is certainly a charming senorita.

Now I don’t think she’s a flamenco dancer since she lacks castanets. However, I love her beautiful black lace on her red dress, fan and veil.

51. Now this Indonesian Barbie wears a dress that makes her a perfect Southeast Asian princess.

Well, I have to remind you that all Asians don’t necessarily look alike. Besides, many of them also have their own unique culture. Also, love her crown.

52. This lovely Chinese Barbie is lovely in her red, flowery dress.

She even has a baby panda on her arm. I also really like her earrings and hairstyle, too.

53. This Ghost Bride Barbie is so beautiful that she’s doomed to haunt your dreams.

Looks like Ken really screwed her over in life. Now she’s haunting his dreams and home so she can make him pay.

54. This lovely Barbie seems like a gracious hostess for afternoon tea.

They have a lot of Victorian fashion dolls. This fashion is from the 1870s and 1880s since it features the bustle. It was supposed to enhance women’s rear ends.

55. Capture the essence of the Pre-Columbian Mexico and Central America with this Mesoamerican spirit Barbie.

Of course, I’m sure she might ask for some human sacrifices. Maybe a lot of them. You know that almost every Meso and South American indigenous culture practiced it.

56. Experience the battlefield with your very own Civil War Nurse Barbie.

Hope she has a Civil War Surgeon Ken. Now I guess he has his own surgical instruments, including his amputation saw. Bet his outfit is covered with blood that it can’t be shown.

57. Now this Queen of the Galaxy Barbie is certainly out of this world.

Now this seems like it’s straight off from Lady Gaga’s wardrobe. Then again, she kind of reminds me of some character you’d see from a 1980s sci-fi movie. Maybe she should get together with Captain Kirk Ken.

58. Relive the glory of Imperial Russia with this Russian Princess fashion doll.

Of course, if she’s a member of the Romanov royal family, I’m sure that things won’t be looking good for her once October 1917 flies in. Yeah, sad that this resplendent beauty will soon become a Bolshevik shooting target.

59. This Native American Barbie is clad in her very own fringe dress and buckskin coat.

Man, she seems to have rows and rose of fringes. But she also has a lovely trimmed buckskin coat trimmed with fur.

60. This flapper fashion doll is all dolled up for a 1920s party.

Yes, she’s in shimmering silver from her jewelry to her furs. Her gown is made almost entirely of silver lace. Probably paid a pretty penny.

61. Take a trip down the Nile of Ancient Egypt with Egyptian Queen Barbie.

I wonder if this one comes with Egyptian Pharaoh Ken, who’s most likely her brother. I mean you know what these Ancient Egyptian royal families were like. An Egyptian royal who doesn’t marry their sibling is usually killed by them. Relatives were always after the Pharoah’s throne.

62. Of course, where would a Scarlett O’Hara fashion doll be without her Rhett Butler?

There are quite a few Rhett Butler fashion dolls out there. However, none of them seem to be as good as this incarnation. And this is his signature look, by the way. Besides, frankly my dear, I don’t give a damn.

63. Nothing is as stunning south of the border than a Mexican Barbie.

Not sure if she’s dressed as a bullfighter. However, I can tell she’s Mexican because she is wearing a sombrero. And it’s matching with her outfit.

64. Nothing is more exquisite at a haunted house than a Dark Bride Barbie.

Now this is a lovely bridal outfit. Love the bouquet of roses. Wouldn’t be surprised if Morticia Addams wore it on her wedding day.

65. Hope Jazz Diva Barbie sounds as good as she looks.

Reminds me of the film noir jazz singers you see in smoke filled night clubs. Probably has a lot of hard boiled detectives and crime.

66. Relive the forbidden romance with this fashion doll of Anna Karenina.

Now I’m not really much of a fan of Anna Karenina. I think she was just really immature who had absolutely no idea about to have a healthy relationship. Not to mention, she was so wrapped into Vronsky that she didn’t try to get a new hobby. And then she threw herself in front of a train.

67. South Asian Dance Barbie is dressed in such exquisite attire.

Not sure which country she’s from. Certainly it’s not Nepal since that’s in the Himilayas. And she’s certainly not dressed for that weather.

68. Now this Belle fashion doll wears a gown for a romance that’s a tale as old as time.

However, we should note that her boyfriend is a total beast. I mean the guy practically kept her his prisoner until she fell in love with him.

69. Hope Diamond certainly knows how to dress for an evening.

Of course, the Hope Diamond is now in the Smithsonian. And it’s said to bring a lot of bad luck to its owners.

70. Now Russian Barbie is certainly a rare winter beauty.

Let’s hope that she’s bundled up to face the harsh Russian winter. Then again, Russia is a rather crazy country. Not to mention, there’s also Putin she might have to deal with. And the Siberian gulag if it still exists.

71. This blushing Barbie bride looks simply stunning for her big day.

You see a lot of bride fashion dolls. And it’s no wonder with how the wedding industry is like these days. But this is one of my favorites.

72. Of course, those who love Ava Gardner should get a fashion doll of her from The Killers.

Her performance in The Killers was said to make Frank Sinatra so infatuated with her that he abandoned his wife and kids for her. Of course, they were a great match made in Hollywood (sarcasm). Actually their relationship was rather tempestuous and dysfunctional.

73. All that glitters on this Barbie is golden.

Now this reminds me of something Lady Gaga would wear if she was doing the theme from Goldfinger. Of course, that would look uncomfortable on a normal person.

74. This Gypsy fashion doll shakes her own tambourine for her keep.

I’ve seen quite a few gypsy fashion dolls. But I think this one is especially lovely, especially the dress.

75. Relive the experience of Titanic with this Rose DeWitt Bukater fashion doll.

This is what she wears during the scene when Leonardo DiCaprio says, “I’m king of the world!” Of course, I’m sure the raft could fit her and Jack. Seriously, Jack shouldn’t have died. Still, Rose was a mutant born with super insulating skin that made her withstand extremely freezing temperatures. That’s why she survived the Titanic.

76. Experience the magic of Rio with your very own Brazilian Barbie.

Of course, she has a knitted blanket over her white dress. Not only that, but she’s just the right skin color of many Brazilians. A really good way to represent the country.

77. Welcome to the haunted mansion with your hostess Haunted Matron Barbie.

You might want to stay close to the candles because the stairways can be quite treacherous. Also, it might contain all kinds of things that might want to kill you.

78. Enjoy the carefree South Pacific Islands with your very own Polynesian Barbie.

Of course, being from the South Pacific, she always has to be covered in vines and flowers. Still, love her blue and flowery dress. Wonder if Polynesian Ken looks like Troy Polamalu though.

79. For those who love to laugh, this Carol Burnett fashion doll is just perfection.

Can’t do a post on fashion dolls without including this one. Love her Scarlett O’Hara curtain dress by the way. “I saw it the window and just had to have it.”

80. Experience the magical world of Harry Potter with this Harry Potter fashion doll.

Now they have a lot of Harry Potter fashion dolls out there. Still, I have yet to see a fashion doll of Yule Ball Ron Weasley. Now that would be funny.

81. Of course, when it comes to First Ladies, you can’t talk about fashion legacies without this Jackie Kennedy fashion doll.

Now this is the outfit she was wearing when her husband got shot in Dallas. Not sure what to think about the doll company who made this. Yeah, it’s kind of insensitive but it was an iconic look.

82. Join in the luau with your very own Hawaiian Barbie.

Nothing says Hawaii than a flower lei and a grass hula skirt. Comes with her own sea turtle. Hope the volcano doesn't blow.

Nothing says Hawaii than a flower lei and a grass hula skirt. Comes with her own sea turtle. Sad that she doesn’t have a coconut shell bra.

83. Those who love Mommie Dearest and Mildred Pierce certainly can’t go without their very own Joan Crawford fashion doll.

Of course, we’re not sure how much is true about Mommie Dearest since a lot of people who knew her spoke out against it. However, she certainly looks lovely in this black and white dress.

84. May the odds be in your favor with your very own Katniss Everdeen fashion doll.

This is her from Catching Fire when she had to go back to the arena for the Quarter Quell. Still, they have quite a few Hunger Games fashion dolls. Love to see how many Effie Trinket has.

85. Relive the golden days of Tudor England with this fashion doll of Elizabeth I.

Yes, she wore a lot of big dresses in her day. However, contrary to the Cate Blanchett movies, if she was a virgin when she became queen, she’d more likely remain one for the rest of her life (since she had no privacy whatsoever and knew how to keep it in her pants). Also, it’s very likely that she remained single for good politics.

86. Rule the universe with your very own Space Queen Barbie.

Looking at these Barbie sci-fi outfits makes me wonder if they have any David Bowie Ken dolls. Ziggy Stardust comes to my mind.

87. Stroll down the streets of Paris with your very own French Barbie.

Of course, French Barbie wouldn’t be French without her beret and baguette. Then again, she might also like to have a laid back European lifestyle the French are famous for.

88. Travel throughout Middle Earth with this fashion doll of Legolas.

Yes, this is the Middle Earth heartthrob that jump started Orlando Bloom’s career. And his dad isn’t bad looking either and even rides on a deer as well as has his own antler throne.

89. Commemorate the royal wedding with Ken and Barbie as Will and Kate.

Hard to believe that these two now have two little kids named George and Charlotte. Well, I think it’s nice that the royals allowed William to marry whom he wanted and when he wanted. I don’t think it was the case with his dad.

90. This Lady Liberty Barbie is clad in red, white, and blue.

Yes, it’s kind of emphasizes that Barbie might be America’s Sweetheart. However, at least she has a rather friendly disposition and tries to be accommodating to diversity. Unlike the blonde women of Fox News.

91. Vampire Queen Barbie wants to suck your blood.

One of the only Barbie dolls I’ve seen with fangs so far. I’m sure Hapless Human Ken doesn’t have much time to live. Love the hair and dress, by the way.

92. Grim Reaper Barbie shows up when your time is up.

She may look dark but she’s never good or evil. Do not resist her when she comes to collect you because you can’t.

93. Mexican Dress Barbie always travels with her little chihuahua.

Now Mexican Barbie is clad in a pink dress striped with lace and ribbons. Of course, I wonder if there’s a Mexican Ken as well. Then again, he might be dressed as a more stereotypical bandito.

94. Chinese Empress Barbie rules in Imperial splendor.

Of course, she’s clad in yellow and pink from almost head to toe. We should remember that in Dynastic China, only the Imperial family were allowed to wear yellow. Everyone else wasn’t.

95. Explore the cultures and wildlife of Africa with this African Barbie doll.

Just so you know, Africa is a nation of highly diverse wildlife, nations, and cultures. I only called this doll African Barbie since I have no idea which country she’s supposed to be from. Yet, I know it’s either from the west or the south.

96. Lead your very own Rebel Alliance with your very own Princess Leia fashion doll.

This is the Slave Leia one from Return of the Jedi. It’s one of Princess Leia’s iconic looks. Of course, Jabba the Hutt better watch out.

97. Now you can be your own superheroine with Wonder Woman Barbie.

Now Wonder Woman is one of the more definitive female superheroes. However, I don’t think fighting crime in a cape and scantily clad outfit is a good message to send to young girls.

98. Celebrate the tribal culture in Africa with South African Barbie.

Now this is a good representation of African tribes. A lot of women in Africa are actually dress like that and in a lot of different groups, too.

99. Publicity Tour Barbie is certainly ready for the experience.

Yes, she’s on her long tour with style and sophistication. Of course, she comes with an agent who’s pressuring her into this.

100. Now Hard Rock Cafe Bass Barbie has decorated her instrument with style.

Of course, she also has a lot of tattoos on her arm as well. But she seems to have a lot of good taste. Sure this doll wasn’t made for kids.

Fun with Action Figures

Posted by historymaniacmegan on January 30, 2015

Let’s get one thing straight. Action figures are basically dolls, no matter how you look at it. Sure you may not treat them like a baby doll but c’mon, the inspiration for G. I. Joe was Barbie. Not to mention, they can sometimes have hair and removable clothes as well as have moveable parts. But unlike most of the traditional dolls you think of, they’re mainly for boys (but could be for either sex) usually consisting of superheroes and popular characters from their Saturday morning cartoons. I know franchises love selling action figures since it gives them lots of money in more ways than ticket or DVD sales. Merchandising popular media was partly the reason why Disney has become the conglomerate it has.Of course, we all had them at one time in our childhood or another. Nevertheless, while some of these figures I’ll show might be remnants from your childhood, others go on the unconventional of what many would see what an action figure could be. And some of them will tend to make you question their very existence. So without further adieu, here are some wonderful and not so wonderful action figurines you might want to see.

1. From the Six Million Dollar Man, we have the Bionic Bigfoot.

You can press Bionic Bigfoot’s crotch to reveal his insides. Nevertheless, this basically the closest thing you’ll find to a Sasquatch Beast than anything you’d see on The History Channel.

2. Sail the high seas robbing merchant ships with the notorious Bristol born pirate Captain Blackbeard.

Of course, he comes with multiple guns and a big ass 17th century sword. Nevertheless, unlike the real Blackbeard, he doesn't set fire to his beard or shoot members of his crew (allegedly). Also, though not a nice man, his cruelty might be exaggerated for publicity's sake.

Of course, he comes with multiple guns and a big ass 17th century sword. Nevertheless, unlike the real Blackbeard, he doesn’t set fire to his beard, contract STDs, or shoot members of his crew (allegedly). Also, though not a nice man, his cruelty might be exaggerated for publicity’s sake.

3. Give your son a male nurse action figure to encourage him in the nursing profession.

Comes with his own stethoscope and X-Ray. Nevertheless, even if a boy does have aspirations of being a male nurse, I highly doubt he’d want this action figure. Seriously, I applaud for trying to bring down gender stereotypes but boys will still find this one lame.

4. Introduce your kids to the first and world’s greatest escape artist, the one and only Harry Houdini.

Comes with his own chair, handcuffs, straitjacket, rope, and leg irons. Of course, the only thing that he can’t escape is a burst appendix in 1926. Then again, he basically inspired such “magicians” as David Blaine and Criss Angel.

5. As far as writer action figures go, nobody could beat the wit and witticisms of Oscar Wilde.

Of course, he will kick anyone who’d mess with him with his pimp cane while dressed in his flamboyant Victorian outfit. Nevertheless, his witticisms won’t protect him in the 1890s when he’s outed and imprisoned for homosexuality.

6. As Johann Sebastian Bach said, “If it ain’t Baroque, don’t fix it.”

Sure he comes with his own seat. Yet, most of the time you’ll find him at church all day as the organist which means he has to sweep the floors, instruct the choir, and compose a new cantata by Sunday. All while supporting a family that would have 10 out 20 children survive to adulthood. Yet, he won’t get any recognition of his music until Felix Mendelssohn discovered him in the 1800s.

7. Recreate the world of Prohibition and the 1920s underworld with gangster Lt. Commander Data?

Seriously, why have an android in a 1920s gangster outfit with his own gun, glass, booze bottle, and typewriter? Did Next Generation have a 1920s Prohibition episode? I mean at least 1920s action figures of Kirk and Spock would make more sense.

8. Under the cover of night, medieval archer Batman lurks in the forests outside ye olde Gotham City.

From io9: “If modern Batman refuses to use firearms, shouldn’t medieval Batman refuse to resort to archery? Just saying.” Yeah, I guess this person has a point. Nevertheless, he does have a big ass longbow. Still, wonder why they don’t have Batman as a medieval knight. I mean wouldn’t it make more sense to have him be one instead of one of Robin Hood’s Merry Men?

9. Kick ass in medieval and Warring States Japan with this Samurai Batman,

From Amazon: “The legendary figure of Batman existed in ancient Japan as Samurai Batman, a brave and strong warrior who pitted his skills against the evil warlords, or “daimyo”. Armed with his powerful, slashing “no-dachi” sword and protected by a customized samurai armor costume, Samurai Batman swept across the countryside, cutting down villainy and protecting villages at every turn. On the battlefield, Samurai Batman could always be identified by his “hata-jirushi” banner which streamed behind him in every conflict, striking fear into the hearts of his opponents. Samurai Batman’s glittering new metallic costume dazzles his opponents, allowing him precious seconds to strike!” Really, protecting villages? I mean samurai were the daimyo’s vassals. Still, I think “Ninja Batman” would make more sense since most Japanese ninjas were samurai anyway.

10. For those who love the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles and westerns, you will love this Bandito Michelangelo.

This is sort of a cross between TNMT and The Treasure of the Sierra Madre. And I can see Bandito Mike say, “Badges, to god-damned hell with badges! We have no badges. In fact, we don’t need badges, cowabunga, dude!”

11. Compose your own 5th Symphony with an action figure of Ludwig van Beethoven.

This would’ve been a perfect toy for Schroeder from Peanuts since he’s a big Beethoven fan. Still, he’s basically the quintessential great composer known for going deaf, having messy digs and poor hygiene, violent mood swings, and a possible death from lead poisoning. Ear trumpets not included.

12. These sports playing Spiderman action figures will do well with any boy on your list.

For one, Spiderman is supposed to be Peter Parker who is better known for getting bullied by jocks than actually be one. Secondly, if Spiderman played sports, he’d do it as Peter Parker without the suit on in the first place. Also, I’m sure radioactive spider venom is an illegal performance enhancing substance. Seriously, why do these figures even exist?

13. Free the Hebrews of Egypt and let your people go with this action figure of Moses.

Comes with Ten Commandments and staff. Staff doesn’t change into snake nor does it part the Red Sea. Yet, don’t put him near any Golden Calves. Also, has a very nasty temper.

14. There’s never a problem that can be solved with Nancy Pearl Deluxe Librarian Action Figure.

Comes with her own computer, desk, and book collection. Of course, you must keep quiet around her at all times since people are trying to read at the library, you know.

Comes with her own computer, book cart, and book collection. Of course, you must keep quiet around her at all times since people are trying to read at the library, you know.

15. Make sure your action figures have their needs met with this school lunch lady action figure.

Comes with lunch counter, scoop, food tray and 9 lunch stickers that includes fish sticks and jello. Yet, keep in mind that she possesses a secret superpower called, “mystery meat.”

16. No one can ever cross the wretched lair of the crazy cat lady.

This animal hoarder comes with 6 different kind of cats besides the one on her neck. Of course, it’s unknown whether they’re fixed or breeding into the feral population. Yet, expect to see her on the evening news when she gets arrested for animal cruelty.

17. For the aspiring business major in college, an action figure of marketing guru Seth Godin makes a great gift.

Comes with a self-help book and mismatched socks. Of course, he’s a real guy who’s actually wrote a bunch of books and has a blog as well as a website called Squidoo. So yes, he’s real.

18. Bring out your dead! Bring out your dead with this dead collector action figure.

Comes with his triangle and wooden club. Death cart not included. Courtesy of Monty Python and the Holy Grail. Want this.

19. Protect your castle with this Rude Frenchman action figure from Monty Python and the Holy Grail.

Yes, they have a French Taunter action figure, too! Sure nothing would make it any better than to have it say things like, “I don’t want to talk to you no more, you empty-headed animal food trough wiper! I fart in your general direction! Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries!”

20. Show your kids the true value of Jesus’ message with this Camo Jesus “I Am Peace” action figure.

Comes with his own battle gear, soldier helmet, machine gun, dove, and golden crown of thorns. Okay, you know Jesus came to this world to advocate peace, right? So why is he full decked in camo and battle gear? I mean you don’t wear all that for dove hunting.

21. Be all dressed to pick up chicks at your fancy dress masquerade with this Casanova action figure.

Comes with his own pull away mask that he could put on in his tireless pursuit of adventure. From Amazon: “Giovanni Giacomo Casanova was a soldier, an author, a spy, a gambler and a librarian. But all of those things pale in comparison to his reputation as a lover. His memoirs contain detailed accounts of his intimate relations with over 100 women!” Unfortunately, sexual conquests and memoirs not included. Yet, I’d rather have this guy than Christian Grey or Edward Cullen despite the possibility Casanova may have STDs.

22. Bring in the Spirit of the French Revolution with this action figure of the Austrian born French Queen Marie Antoinette.

Comes with a removable dress, removable wig, and removable head. Of course, though a subject of great controversy with her extravagant lifestyle (though not the only one to blame), she was more of a scapegoat since she knew nothing of her incompetent husband’s policy. All the bad stuff said about her was just all French Revolution Era propaganda.

23. Travel down on the farm with Farmer Donatello and his wife-beater wearing crow on his tractor.

Comes with a scythe, pick, tractor, and wife-beater wearing crow. Still, why does Donatello have a corn cob pipe in his mouth? Aren’t cartoon superheroes supposed to set a good example? Still, this is pretty lame.

24. Travel back in the Stone Age ring with this Rocky II caveman action figure.

Comes in a saber tooth tiger outfit equipped with his own club. Of course, when you think about it, Stallone really can be a convincing Cro Magnon but that’s all I can say about his acting range.

25. Have an Hawaiian adventure with “Chuckles” G. I. Joe.

Or as I call it, “G. I. Joe attending a Jimmy Buffet concert.” Yes, soon he’ll be wasting away again in Margaritaville. And possibly the only adventure he’ll go on is searching for his lost shaker of salt.

26. Join Batman in defeating the Penguin’s henchmen consisting of Commando Penguins.

So there you go kids, the Penguin’s henchmen are actually real penguins with little penguin weapons they could use. Well, until they have to back to their breeding grounds and pass eggs to each other. Of course, Cracked may have it right saying, “There’s no way enough of these toys sold to offset the cost of the liquor it took to design them.”

27. Go undercover with Ravishing Reporter April O’Neil in the seedy underworld of prostitution, which is an adventure that doesn’t include the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles.

Comes with dagger and detachable skirt. Purpose mostly is for basically to fuel adolescent fantasies. Still, there's no doubt that April's supposed to be of the oldest profession here but seriously, sex trafficking isn't an appropriate subject for a Saturday morning cartoon.

Comes with dagger, video camera, makeup brush battle bro, katana blade curling iron, lipstick nunchucku, and detachable skirt. Purpose mostly is for basically to fuel adolescent fantasies. Still, there’s no doubt that April’s supposed to be of the oldest profession here but seriously, sex trafficking isn’t an appropriate subject for a Saturday morning cartoon.

28. Paint your masterpiece with the help of this action figure of the tortured artist Vincent van Gogh.

Comes with an easel, 4 paintings, a frame, pallet, paintbrush, and 2 detachable heads. One of the normal van Gogh and one after he cut off part of his ear. May suffer from malnutrition, violent mood swings, money problems, and suicidal tendencies. Available until he gets shot in an open field.

29. If you bring your loved one a shrubbery, perhaps a Knight of Ni action figure would do nicely.

Comes with antler helmet, fur outfit, and herring. Shrubbery not included. Still, those who hear the Knights Who Say Ni seldom live to tell the tale! I mean they’re keepers of the sacred words Ni, Peng, and Neee-wom! Still, if they try forcing you to cut down a tree with a herring, try saying “it.”

30. No Catholic boy who’s had his First Holy Communion should go without an action figure of His Holiness himself.

Comes with a holy cross kali stick, a Walther PPK handgun, and wearing a Vatican assault uniform? Jesus Christ, why the fuck does this exist? Seriously, the Holy Pontiff doesn’t even have all that stuff! Still, I’d love to sent one of these to Pope Francis to see what he thinks. Probably would give the holy facepalm. I mean this goes against everything the Holy Office stands for.

31. For the psychology major in your life, why don’t you give them an action figure of Dr. Sigmund Freud?

Comes with cigar, couch not included. Also, said to talk saying, “Tell me about your mother.” Amazon states, “Put him on your desk or nightstand to inspire you to explore the depths of your unconscious and embrace the symbolism of your dreams. ” Creepy. Also said to be very into cocaine.

32. If you love Richard Wagner’s Ring Cycle operas, then you’ll love this Wagner action figure.

Comes with baton, an ego the size of Germany, and rampant antisemitism. Nevertheless, don’t make his fandom among the Nazis discourage you. Still, you can hear his music in a famed Bugs Bunny cartoon.

33. For you girls who enjoy literature from the British Regency, here’s your own one of a kind Jane Austen action figure.

Comes with book, writing desk, and quill pen. Mr. Darcy and Lizzy Bennett not included. Also available in pink. Nevertheless, if you think Pride and Prejudice and Zombies was controversial, you should’ve seen the British establishment in the early 19th century when she came on the literary scene. I mean they thought the idea of a female novelist was an outrage.

34. Revisit all the very bad stuff about Victorian England with this one of a kind action figure of Charles Dickens.

Comes with his very own quill pen. Oliver Twist, Tiny Tim, Little Nell, Wackford Squeers, Sidney Carton, Uriah Heep, Miss Havisham, Little Dorrit, and Ebenezer Scrooge not included. Also, has a bunch of kids and leaves his wife for some actress. The jerk.

35. Relive the vibrant culture of Renaissance Florence under the Medicis with this action figure of Renaissance man Leonardo da Vinci.

Comes with paintbrush, 4 paintings, frame, and easel. Last Supper, sketches, and inventions not included. Moves to France later in life. Not to mention, is gay and left-handed. Also was never involved in secret organization that believed Jesus had a child with Mary Magdalene (sorry, Dan Brown).

36. Discover the true meaning of the Gospel with Deluxe Miracle Jesus action figure.

Comes with 2 loves of fishes, 5 loaves of bread, and a water jug that changes water into wine (not really). Cross and 12 apostles not included. Nevertheless, this is actually one of the better Jesus action figures I’ve seen so far.

37. Now you can be part of the serial killing action with these Dexter dolls.

The left one is Dexter Kill Suit which comes with apron, scrubs, hand saw, and welder's mask. The right Bif Bang Pow! Dexter comes with a blood slide, knife, and trash bag. Plastic wrap, victim, and other kill room accessories not included.

The left one is Dexter Kill Suit which comes with apron, scrubs, hand saw, and welder’s mask. The right Dexter comes with a blood slide, knife, and trash bag. Plastic wrap, victim, and other kill room accessories not included.

38. Relive the 8th to 11th century Europe as a seafaring Scandinavian raider with this Dog Soldiers Viking action figure.

Comes with shield, sword, axe, dagger, and spear. Nevertheless, unlike what you’d see in popular media representations like on sports team logos and Wagner operas, this is more or less what Vikings actually looked like. Seriously, they didn’t wear horned helmets in battle.

39. Enjoy your favorite scary stories from high school English class with this one of a kind action figure of Edgar Allan Poe.

Comes with his own raven that may or may not say “Nevermore.” Still, while best known for his tales of mystery and the macabre within American Romantic literature, was also said to invent the detective story. Available until found dead on a street in Baltimore in 1849.

40. This Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart action figure is bound to kick ass faster than you can say, “Eine Kleine Nacht Musik.”

Comes with his own piano stool. Prone to play pranks and compose great operas and concertos. Loves fart jokes and bathroom humor. Available until 1791 when he succumbs to a long illness while composing the Requiem Mass at 35.

41. Help your child come out of the closet with Gay Bob.

From Top Tenz: “From his platinum blond hair, tight jeans, plaid shirt, and the whole closet theme, who wouldn’t want this doll? I just love the plethora of stereotypes. Even the way he is positioned is just, perfect. Oh and the best part, it’s made for everyone. Imagine getting this as a present. Boy, the conversations that would go down then.” Yeah, I wonder how a kid would react getting this for a birthday present.

42. Sword fighting has never been so much fun than with this Black Knight action figure from Monty Python and the Holy Grail.

Comes with his own sword and removable limbs. Still, even as he’s dismembered will still think losing a limb is just a scratch or flesh wound and will still keep fighting. None shall pass, indeed. Of course, at the end tends to say, “Oh, oh, I see! Running away, eh? You yellow bastards! Come back here and take what’s coming to you! I’ll bite your legs off!”

43. Have your kid live the high times of the Third Reich with this Adolf Hitler action figure.

Comes with his own hat, Nazi podium, and speakers. Nazis and death camp not included. Still, I would never recommend anyone to get this guy since, well, you know he started WWII and orchestrated the Holocaust. Yet, it just amazes me that there’s even a Hitler action figure available. Seriously, why?

44. Have your son experience the swell service of where Dad held his bachelor party with his very own Hooters girl action figure.

Comes with her own serving dish. Still, I’m certainly not making this up. Yet, even I am baffled as to why such toy exists. Seriously, it’s like having a female action figures consisting of strippers and prostitutes. I mean, why?

45. Defend American freedom for God and Country with “Enduring Freedom” Jesus.

Comes with his own rocket launcher and ammo as well as canteen, belt, knife, and desert camo. Seriously, what the fuck? In no way can I see the Prince of Peace blowing up guys in the Middle East with his rocket launcher. I wonder what kind of nutjob can ever think of such an inappropriate and possibly offensive toy like this. Still, can’t pass this one up.

46. Show your children the meaning of the crucifixion with this crucified Jesus Christ action figure.

Comes with ninja-messiah throwing nails and death-killer cross pumping action over-under shotgun. What the fuck? And they have Jesus nailed to the cross in pants, sandals, and a vest comparable to a 1st century Rambo so he can rise again in 3 days and take revenge on the authorities who crucified him. Seriously, this Jesus figure seems more appropriate for Quentin Tarantino film. Unbelievable. Still, doesn’t this kind of border on the sacrilegious side? Just saying.

47. For all you well dressed Kiss fans out there, these dolls are dressed to kill.

Of course, I’m sure these guys aren’t going to rock n’ roll all night or party every day in these designer outfits. Still, I’d love to see how people would react if they attended a fancy dress party in full concert make up. Perhaps it would be like, “Kiss: Live with the New York Philharmonic.”

48. Explore the meaning of Buddhism and free Tibet with this action figure of the Dalai Lama.

Comes with an A-12 automatic and silencer as well as a self-aiming fire-and-forget laser pistol. What? Okay, now I know Jesus is already ascended into Heaven by now, yet there is still a Dalai Lama around who’s exiled in India. And no, he isn’t known in Buddhism as a “God of a Thousand Arms.” Not to mention, he doesn’t even believe in violence. Still, kind of feel tempted to send him one of these.

49. Recreate your favorite moments from the retro TV show, The Love Boat.

Okay, these consist of Captain Stubing, Vicki, Julie, Gopher, Isaac, and Doc Bricker. Yeah, and they even have a toy ship sold separately that you can put these figures in. Sure it ran for 8 seasons and was very popular. But still, I don’t think a play set tie in would do any favors for the sponsors, especially during the 1980s.

50. Try to get out of being drafted in the Army at the M*A*S*H 4077th with an action figure depicting Corporal Klinger in drag.

Wardrobe not included. Yes, guys, they made an toy of Klinger in drag. Still, it’s actually the most popular toy from the series and goes for a pretty penny on eBay. Yet, imagine getting a toy depicting a guy in pink bloomers and a flower in his hair for your nephew. Yeah, that would be quite traumatic for some parents.

51. Mexican children need not fear, Mexi-Action El Supermano action figure is here.

Comes with his own sombrero. Nevertheless, I have to admit, Superman sure can pull off that Latin lover look from south of the border. Still, I think Mexican kids would rather have a regular Superman action figure than this one. Not to mention, “hombre” is the correct term for “man” in Spanish.

52. Encourage harmful body practices to boys with these Muscle Beach Boys action figures. This one is “Dumbell Dwayne.”

Now really, bodybuilding is just a really terrible thing for any boy to get into. Seriously a lot of those guys take performance enhancing drugs to get in that shape and have an ego spanning a mile wide. Not to mention, they tend to be very aggressive.. Still, Dwayne is what people like my sister call, a "lunk."

Comes with his own weights. Now really, bodybuilding is just a really terrible thing for any boy to get into. Seriously a lot of those guys take performance enhancing drugs to get in that shape and have an ego spanning a mile wide. Not to mention, they tend to be very aggressive.. Still, Dwayne is what people like my sister call, a “lunk.”

53. Celebrate the Christmas season with these action figures from A Christmas Story.

Now this set includes: Ralphie with his Rough Rider BB gun, the Old Man with his Leg Lamp, Flick with his tongue sticking to flag pole, Mom, and Randy. They also have Scut Farkas and Ralphie in a pink bunny suit for those interested.

54. Make your OCD a blast with this Obsessive Compulsive Man.

Includes a surgical mask and a sanitary, hypo-allergenic, moist towlette. Of course, it’s said to inspire you to keep clean by any means necessary. And on the back, there’s a card on “A Day in the Life of an OC Action Figure.” Nevertheless, I’m not sure if this designer really understood OCD or just did his research by watching Monk.

55. For those who wish to relive the glory days of the 2008 election, here’s your very own Sarah Palin action figure.

Now I’m no fan of Sarah Palin at all. I think she’s just scary demagogue of the Radical Right of the Republican Party. Yet, I think Top Tenz can say it best: “The grimace on her face is just creepy, for lack of a better word. It just screams, “You betcha!” There’s no way I’d put this thing in my house. For all those men who find Sarah to be sexy, well…this action figure does her no justice. I guess the short skirts, low-cut shirts, and bare mid-drifts do something, but man, that face, that face.”

56. Show your kid the glory of God the Father Almighty with this bad ass God action figure.

Comes with Kalashnikov AK-47 assault rifle and hallowed cloak of invulnerability, what? First off, though I believe in God as a Catholic, this action figure certainly doesn’t reflect any of my religious beliefs. Like myself, I believe God has no desire for an AK-47, has no want of an AK-47, and has no need of an AK-47. Besides, He’s basically invulnerable, all-powerful, and ever-living so why he’s equipped with an invulnerable cloak and AK-47 is just plain ridiculous.

57. Go on your own Grail quest with this action figure of Tim the Enchanter from Monty Python and the Holy Grail.

Comes with his own staff and accessories. Magic powers not available. However, please keep him away from fluffy white rabbits and heed the words when he says, “Follow. But! Follow only if ye be men of valor! For the entrance to this cave is guarded by a creature so foul, so cruel, that no man yet has fought with it… and lived! BONES of full fifty men lie *strewn* about its lair! So! Brave knights! If you do doubt your courage or your strength, come no further, for death awaits you all with nasty, big, pointy teeth…”

58. Venture Camelot and seek the Holy Grail with these action figures of King Arthur and his knights from Monty Python and the Holy Grail.

Now this consists of Arthur, King of the Britons, Sir Bedevere the Wise and Flatulent, Sir Lancelot the Homicidally Brave, Sir Galahad the Not-So-Pure, and Sir Robin the Not-So-Brave as Sir Lancelot. Each come with their own weapons. Coconut banging squires sold separately. Horses. scales, duck, and minstrels not included.

59. See what it takes to be a real mom with this Super Mom action figure.

Comes with baby, cell phone, purse, groceries, high heels, sneakers, curler and regular heads, and a long to do list. Absentee workaholic dad, older children, and Xanax not included.

60. Seek the ultimate Nirvana enlightenment with this kick ass Buddha action figure.

Comes with fighting staff Magnum 66 Automatic and invincible holy orange cape. Seriously, wasn’t the Buddha known for peace and seeking enlightenment? So why the hell does he have an automatic weapon on him? Looks like Christianity isn’t the only religion badly portrayed in action figures.

61. Go on all kinds of early American adventures with this Benjamin Franklin action figure.

Comes with kite. Printing press, newspaper, Poor Richard’s Almanac, inventions, and French whores not included. From Amazon: “Benjamin Franklin did a lot more than fly a kite on his way to becoming one of the most intelligent men in history. At various times throughout his life he was a writer, diplomat, businessman, musician, inventor, scientist, politician, humorist, printer, postmaster, philosopher, and statesman. His many accomplishments include inventing swimming fins and bifocals, establishing the University of Pennsylvania, publishing the Poor Richard’s Almanac and signing the Declaration of Independence as a founding father of the United States.”

62. All the world’s a stage with an action figure of William Shakespeare.

Comes with a quill and book of his compiled plays. Globe Theater and all-male acting troupe not included. If you’re a girl, he may not think you’re man enough to play Juliet since women weren’t allowed on the English stage until King Charles II. Available in a ye Olde Elizabethan store near you.

63. Serve up your diner customers with this waitress action figure.

Comes with a serving tray, 2 dishes, tipping chart, explanation of tipping, and list of pet peeves. Hates being shortchanged, sexually harassed, long hours, and her job. Available until she gets a better job that she doesn’t have to work at this God forsaken place.

64. Have a cold one in the Great White North with these Bob and Doug McKenzie action figures.

Both Bob and Doug come with their own chairs as well as cases and bottles of beer. Bob comes with cooler and donuts while Doug comes with camp stove and burgers. Great White North set sold separately.

Both Bob and Doug come with their own chairs as well as cases, cans, and bottles of beer. Bob comes with cooler and donuts while Doug comes with camp stove and burgers. Great White North set sold separately. Talk about accessories inappropriate for children under 21.

65. Discover the joys of chemistry in the illicit methamphetamine underworld of Albuquerque, New Mexico, with these Walter White and Jesse Pinkman action figures from Breaking Bad.

Walt and Jesse each come with gas masks and other accessories depending on season. Meth lab play set might be sold separately. Still, despite being toys, such play sets are made for adults. Nevertheless, some people would want this anyway.

66. Experience the height of the medieval papacy with this formidable Pope Innocent III action figure.

Comes with an intimidating scroll inscribed with Latin text, the power of excommunication, and a removable Pope hat. Sure he wasn’t entirely innocent yet he’ll make all your other action figures line up for confession. Still, you have to admit, he was instrumental in banning clergy from participating in trial by ordeal in 1215 which would eventually help discontinue its use. So Innocent III wasn’t all bad to some extent (this by the standards of medieval pontiffs). Hey, at least he’s not equipped with a Walther PPK handgun!

67. Conquer the Eastern Mediterranean, the Middle East, and parts of South Asia with this Alexander the Great.

Comes with sword, shield, and helmet. Of course, by the time he was 25, he had a resume that included him being King of Macedonia, Pharaoh of Egypt and Great King of Persia. Not to mention, founding a world changing empire that would spread Greek culture further than it’s ever had before. Has a tendency to name cities after himself, engage in large scale battles, being sexually ambiguous while being married to 2-3 different women at the same time, and dying in Babylon at 32.

68. Explore the Theory of Relativity with this action figure of Albert Einstein.

Comes with wild hair like you’d find on a fuzzy troll doll. Available in Germany until the 1930s when his Jewishness forced him to flee to the US where he spent the rest of his life teaching at Princeton. Supports Zionist causes and chases skirts.

69. Experience the original Star Wars Trilogy once more with these action figures of Uncle Owen and Aunt Beru.

Basically, I hear that most toy critics declared these the Star Wars action figures most likely to traumatize children. Seriously, Luke’s aunt and uncle are literally burnt to a crisp here. And once outside the packaging, you can’t really tell the two apart.

70. Have fun at the circus with this Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle Crazy Clown Mike.

Comes with balloons and stilt legs. Includes a painted face that is bound to give your children nightmares and send them to a lifetime of therapy. Seriously the TNMT toy designers must’ve been high on something.

71. Experience the most famous teen vampire romance ever with these action figures for Edward and Bella.

Believe me, these action figures are basically full of as much chemistry, passion, facial expressions, and acting ability that is contained in the whole Twilight series altogether. Just ask my sister.

72. Save Gotham City as Slalom Racer Batman on rocket skis.

Uh, Batman, Wiley E. Coyote called. He needs his gear back so he could, well, you know chase the ever elusive Roadrunner. Yeah, I know it will blow up in his face, but Wiley never really listened to reason to begin with. From The Dingleberry: “Batman on bright orange skis and has a matching batsuit that is made to blend in with the snow. If he was trying to blend in with the snow, bright orange skis and poles would completely defeat the purpose. He also apparently is wearing a jetpack. This doesn’t even make sense. If you had a jetpack you wouldn’t need skis, plus the heat from the pack would melt the snow.” Couldn’t say it better myself. Yeah, really terrible winter superhero gear.

73. Soar the skies saving Gotham at night with this Night Glider Batman.

From Topless Robot: “It’s logical enough that Batman would have some sort of flying apparatus, especially one for use at night, but it seems slightly counter intuitive to have that “night glider” be a day glow orange. He looks like a flying traffic cone, and the only people scared of those are driving students.” Yeah, I think Topless Robot certainly hit the nail on the head with that one.

74. Watch out, He-Man, or fall prey to the suffocating odors of Stinkor.

You have to love how the 1980s seemed to think up ideas for cartoon villains. Nevertheless, I don’t think I could say anything better about this toy better than the guy from The Dingleberry: ” The worst thing about this toy was the fact that it stunk. It actually was made to smell like a skunk, it stunk so bad that it made all the toys that I put in the box with it smell like it. It was a little too realistic for my tastes. I also liked how his plastic tank top is covering his nose like he can’t even stand his own smell. He also comes with a handgun and a shield, that is a totally nonsensical combination.” Just think of having to deal with it after it gets hit by a car.

75. Spew the virulent Fox News style venom with your very own androgynous Ann Coulter action figure that makes feminists want to apologize to Barbie.

God, I can’t stand this woman! Seriously, she’s just such a vicious and hate spewing shrill that I can’t understand why she’s so popular enough to have her own Barbie Doll. By the way, I think I owe Barbie an apology. At least she doesn’t spend her time on Fox News hating liberals and any other group that’s not WASP.

76. Travel to the 1980s with your very own action figure from Devo.

Yes, while many bands have action figures of all their members sold separately, Devo just has one body that uses the same heads of all its members. Comes with a whip and funny hat. Seriously, such pack arrangements are pretty crazy.

77. Take down Osama Bin Laden with your very own Seal Team 6 Obama action figure.

Armed with his very own machine gun and dressed up like The Punisher with an intimidating, Seal Team 6 Obama will stop at nothing to rid the world of Osama Bin Laden even if it means mowing down uncooperative Congressional Republicans. Still, I put Obama on here just to balance Palin and Coulter out. Also, the standard Obama came with too many accessories.

78. Look out, He-Man, here comes the Moss Man.

Comes with his own club and speedo. And yes, he’s supposed to be a bacteria grabbing walking carpet as if he was a lovechild between the Incredible Hulk and the Grinch. Also said to have “a real pine scent.” Creepy.

79. Travel on this self-propelled bed with Eglantine Price from Disney’s Bedknobs and Broomsticks.

It’s hard to believe that this doll is supposed to be based on the Angela Lansbury character from that 1972 movie. Bed runs on batteries. Still, kind of shows that even the folks at Disney were tripping on the brown acid a little too much. Nevertheless, I’d love to see the action figure they have for Eleanor Iselin from the Manchurian Candidate.

80. If you liked Transformers as a kid, then I’m sure you’d love your very own Titanic-Bot.

I have no idea why anyone would design this. Seriously, not only does it denigrate a terrible 1912 tragedy made into a Leonardo DiCaprio movie, but it kind of gives kids a false idea of history. I mean would anyone want 9/11 be diverted into a giant robot? How about the Hindenburg? Besides, this screams Dollar Store knock off. Yet I know that Michael Bay would definitely make a movie with Titanic-Bot if he could get away with it.

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The Lone Girl in a Crowd

The thoughts and perceptions of an aspiring writer on life and the world around her

Tag Archives: Dolls

The Dollhouse World of Miniatures

The Nesting World of Matryoshka Dolls

Dress Up Fun with Fashion Dolls

Fun with Action Figures