As everything eventually washes ashore, Ishmael has been able to follow the Baudelaires’ story. However, he’s not so keen on Kit staying since she’s a troublemaking Snicket and that she’d eventually want to return to the real world. But he’s happy to let the Baudelaires stay and promises to keep them safe from all the bad things in the world since they’re not so sure. Except that some of the things he wants to keep the kids safe from involve stuff that they really enjoy. Not to mention, they’re not happy with Ishmael having them live boring lives while he’s enjoying the fruits of the arboretum and keeping secrets from them. In fact, they’d like to read some of the history written but Ishmael won’t let them. He then gives the children the Duchess of Winnipeg’s ring which their dad gave their mom after she gave it back to Lemony just to illustrate how their parents didn’t tell them about such things just to keep them safe. Though to be fair, there would’ve been a better reason why the Baudelaire parents wouldn’t share anything to do with keeping their kids safe.

So I went with a doo wop standard called “Stay” by Maurice Williams and the Zodiacs which involves a romance of some sort. In this version, I just have Ishmael try to convince the Baudelaires to stay with them.

“Stay” (ASOUE Version)

Sung by Ishmael

(Stay) Ah, just a little bit longer (Stay)
(Please) Please, please, please
Tell me you’re going to

Now your parents both died
And you’ve had a shit-filled life
But if you kids choose to stay
I’ll try to (Keep you safe)

Oh, won’t you stay
Just a little bit longer?
Though Kit Snicket
Will have to go (Have to go)

Your mom wore this R ring for two guys
If they wanted, they would’ve told you why

(Stay) Oh yeah, just a little bit longer (Stay)
(Please) Please, please, please
Tell me you’re going to

Come on, come on, come on, stay, yeah
Come on, come on, come on, stay, yeah
Come on, come on, come on, stay, whoops
Come on, come on, come on, stay, children, children