Violet and Quigley reach Mount Fraught’s summit and who should greet them but little Sunny Baudelaire. After all, she sent the signal from the peak in the first place with her salmon cooking. There’s a hushed reunion between the Baudelaire sisters as Sunny asks about Klaus and Violet introduces her to Quigley. She then went on to explain how Count Olaf made her do chores while humiliating her at every turn. As Olaf’s calling for “Babylaire,” Violet and Quigley hide under his car while he gives Sunny instructions to make False Spring dinner for tomorrow. They listen in to Count Olaf and Esme’s conversation with the two mysterious figures which seems to be about a recruitment drive regarding the net as well as the location of the Sugar Bowl which wasn’t found in the V.F.D. ruins. But just as Violet and Quigley are all set to take Sunny down the frozen waterfall, Sunny steadfastly refuses. Because she wants to stay around to spy on Count Olaf and his crew and gives the lowdown on what she knows. Besides, she’s already got a plan for her False Spring meal.

The song I decided to go with is “The Room Where It Happens” from Hamilton, which I wanted to do for this parody musical for quite some time. The original version focuses on Alexander Hamilton, Thomas Jefferson, and James Madison meeting for dinner discussing the matter of putting the US capital and settling their debts with Hamilton’s centralized financial system. Meanwhile, Aaron Burr is curious about what’s going on and then decides that he wants in. So he decides to challenge Alex’s father-in-law for his US Senate seat. In this version, I have Sunny give the lowdown about what’s going on with Count Olaf, his crew, and the two mysterious figures with “an aura of menace.” And how Sunny insists on staying along to spy on them. Though since Sunny’s speech doesn’t translate well into song, I have Violet mostly translate for her.

 

 

“The Tent Where It Happens”

Violet:
Oh, my God, Sunny!

Sunny: (translated babble)
Violet, where’s Klaus?

Violet:
Trying to figure out Verbal Fridge Dialogue, I’m sure

Sunny:
Oh

Violet:
You know Quigley Quagmire?

Sunny:
Yeah

Violet:
He’s survived after all
Helped me climbed a waterfall

Sunny:
Him?

Violet:
And all we had to do was climb

Quigley:
That’s a lot of work

Violet:
We’ve really gave it a try

Sunny:
Ha

Violet:
So, Sunny, what has been going on with you?

Quigley:
Well, Sunny, it’s a pleasure finally meeting you

Sunny: (translated babble)
Lox

Violet:
Talk less. Smile more.

Count Olaf:
Babylaire!

Violet:
Guessing we must go under Count Olaf’s chaise floor
Now, Count Olaf and his troupe are merciless

Quigley:
Well, hate the sin, love the sinner

Violet:
Quigley!

Quigley:
I’m sorry, Vi, we gotta hide

Sunny:
Yep.

Quigley:
Decisions are happening over dinner

Violet:
A bunch of villains all meet on top of Mount Fraught
Along a couple that we don’t know

Quigley:
They emerge with a fangled scheme, having opened a tent that was

Violet and Quigley:
Previously closed

Sunny:
Oh.

Violet:
Count Olaf receives the bulk of the long-sought after Snicket File
A document he can use however he wants
The arsonists get a scorching carnival fire
And here’s the pièce de résistance:

Violet and (Quigley):
No one else was in
The tent where it happened
The tent where it happened
The tent where it happened
No one else was in
The tent where it happened (The tent where it happened)
The tent where it happened
The tent where it happened (The tent where it happened)
No one really knows how the game is played (Game is played)
The art of the trade
How the groundwork gets laid (How the groundwork gets laid)
We just assume that it happens (Assume that it happens)
But no one else is in
The tent where it happens (The tent where it happens)

Quigley:
Sunny claims

Violet:
Two arsonists were at Olaf’s campsite one day
Struck fear in Olaf’s face

Quigley:
Sunny claims

Violet:
Arsonists said

Man with Beard but No Hair:
Hope you’re pleased to learn!

Woman with Hair but No Beard:
We basically set fire to the V.F.D. base

Violet and Quigley:
Sunny claims

Violet:
Olaf approached his troupe saying,
“I know you hate them, but let’s hear what they have to say.”

Violet and Quigley:
Sunny claims

Violet:
Olaf arranged the meeting
She arranged the menu, the venue, the seating
But!
No one else was in

Violet and Quigley:
The tent where it happened
The tent where it happened
The tent where it happened

Violet:
No one else was in

Violet and Quigley:
The tent where it happened
The tent where it happened
The tent where it happened

Violet (Quigley):
No one really knows how the
Parties get to yes (Parties get to yes)
The pieces that are sacrificed in
Ev’ry game of chess (Ev’ry game of chess)
We just assume that it happens (Assume that it happens)
But no one else is in
The tent where it happens (The tent where it happens)

Violet and Quigley:
Meanwhile

Violet:
Sunny cooked and arranged a continental breakfast which Olaf threw a very petty fit

Quigley:
Meanwhile

Violet:
Esme complained about Sunny’s “ghastly service”
It isn’t pretty
The arsonists reward him with most of the Snicket File
And a green cigarette thing that makes Esme smile

Esme:
Smoking is bad for your health but these green cigarettes are so fashionable these days, anyways

Count Olaf:
Oh-ho!

Man with Beard but No Hair:
A quid pro quo

Count Olaf:
I suppose
Yet, we might want to read it in our tent though

Esme:
Actually, we would

Count Olaf:
Since we really don’t, you know

Esme:
Should we tell them before we go?

Count Olaf:
Well, we’ll see how it goes

Esme:
Let’s go

Sunny:
No!

Quigley:
…one else was in
The tent where it happened

Violet and Quigley:
The tent where it happened
The tent where it happened
No one else was in
The tent where it happened
The tent where it happened
The tent where it happened

Violet:
My God!

Violet and Quigley:
In God we trust
But we’ll never really know what got discussed
Click-boom then it happened

Violet:
And no one else was in the tent where it happened

Violet and Quigley:
Little Sunny Baudelaire!

Violet:
Used Verdant Flammable Device signaling us to climb up the high mountain.

Violet and Quigley:
Little Sunny Baudelaire!

Violet:
Said she has to cook up a False Spring Dinner
Told me they want to set the last safe place on fire

Violet and Quigley:
Little Sunny Baudelaire!

Woman with Hair but no Beard:
We sort through the wreckage so it doesn’t matter
Where the hell they put the Sugar Bowl

Count Olaf:
Cause they burned the base
We’re in a great spot

Man with Beard but No Hair:
You got more than you gave

Count Olaf:
And I wanted what I got
When you got skin in the game, you stay in the game
But you don’t get a win unless you play in the game
Oh, you get love for it
You get hate for it
You get nothing if you…

Troupe:
Wait for it, wait for it, wait!

Violet:
God help and forgive me
But Sunny, you honestly have to go with me

Violet and (Quigley):
What do you want, girl? (What do you want, girl?)
What do you want, girl? (What do you want, girl?)
If you stand for nothing (What do you want, girl?)
Girl, then what do you fall for? (What do you want?)

Violet:
She
She wants to be in the place where it happens
The place where it happens
She
She wants to be in the place where it happens
The place where it happens

Violet and (Quigley):
She (She wants to be in the place where it happens)
Wanna be (The place where it happens)
In the place where it happens (The place where it happens)
She (She wants to be in the place where it happens)
She wants to be in the place… (The place where it happens)
Oh (The place where it happens)
Oh (She wants to be in the place where it happens)
She wants to be (Where it happens)
She wants to be (Where it happens)
She got to be, she got to be (She wants to be in the place where it happens)
In that place (The place where it happens)
In that big ol’ place (The place where it happens)

Troupe:
The art of the compromise

Violet:
Hold your nose and close your eyes

Violet and Quigley:
We want our adults to save the day

Violet:
But at the end we save ourselves anyway

Violet and Quigley:
We dream of a brand new start

Violet:
But we dream in the dark for the most part

Violet and Quigley:
Dark as a tomb where it happens

Violet and (Quigley):
She got to be in the place… (The place where it happens)
She got to be…
(The place where it happens)
She got to be…
(The place where it happens)
Oh, she got to be in
The place where it happens… (The place where it happens)
She got to be, She gotta be (The place where it happens)
She gotta be
In the place (She wants to be in the place where it happens)
Click-boom! (Click-boom!)