A Series of Unfortunate Events: The Musical – “Go Round the Wards”

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Since Violet didn’t return to the unfinished wing that night, Klaus and Sunny grow worried, especially when Mattathias announces that they found what they wanted so there won’t be any more inspections. Also, that the two other Baudelaires are within the hospital. Obvious that Count Olaf has Violet in his clutches, Klaus and Sunny conduct a search for her in the hospital. To keep cover, they join the Volunteers Fighting Disease and cover their faces with heart shaped balloons to remain relatively unnoticed. As they go around the wards, the younger Baudelaires get the idea that these volunteers really don’t do much to help the patients’ real needs. Hell, they just sing their songs and give out heart-shaped balloons. Soon they realize their morning search for their sister  is going nowhere and that they’d be better off snagging a patient list.

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The song I picked for this part is “Grease” from the eponymous musical. Written by the Bee Gees and sung by Frankie Valli in the movie, this song is more about love and being oneself than anything. Though the movie eventually throws the latter message out the window with Sandy if you know what I mean. Anyway, in this version, I have Klaus and Sunny searching for Violet while tagging along with the Volunteers Fighting Disease.

 

“Go Round the Wards”

Sung by Klaus Baudelaire and the Volunteers Fighting Disease

Klaus:
We got some problems and we must find Vi
Olaf’s got her now and who knows what he’ll try
There’s so much danger but Vi must still be here
But what room or ward we really don’t know where
Go round the wards

We must blend in with these volunteers
They don’t read papers but they’re reeking with cheer
No one will notice who we really are
As we travel around with them at Heimlich Hospital
Go round the wards

Volunteers Fighting Disease:
Go round the wards, go to visit the sick patients

Klaus:
Wards for plague, sore throats, and stubbed toes
There’s wards for ears, broken necks, nasty rashes
Wards for car wrecks, pneumonia

Use this heart balloon to hide your face
Cause they can’t see us while we tour the place
Yet, these volunteers don’t seem to do anything
Which amounts to refreshments or even medicine
We take the pressure and we throw away
Go round the wards

Volunteers Fighting Disease:
Go round the wards, go to visit the sick patients

Klaus:
Wards for gout, nosebleeds, and strep throat
There’s wards for lice, accidents, schizophrenia
Wards for new moms, salmonella

We’ve been going all morning
She’s in deep trouble
Where do they have her?
What are we doing here?

We can’t just go visiting patients randomly
We need a quicker way to get our sister free
Perhaps if we can snag some patient list
Then we can have an idea which room’s Olaf’s got her in (Olaf’s got her in)
Go round the wards

Volunteers Fighting Disease:
Go round the wards, go to visit the sick patients

Klaus:
Wards for AIDS, black lung, and bad acne
There’s wards for crabs, STDs, dysentery
Wards for TB and heart disease

Volunteers Fighting Disease:
Go round the wards, go to visit the sick patients

Klaus:
Wards for warts, ED, and cirrhosis
There’s wards for pox, Zika, Lyme Disease
Wards for typhoid, Ebola

Volunteers Fighting Disease:
Go round the wards
Round the wards
Round the wards
Round the wards
Round the wards
Round the wards
Round the wards
Round the wards
Round the wards
Round the wards
Round the wards

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