Violet finds the answer just in time. Because early the next morning, Flacutono has commanded Klaus to get on with causing an “accident.” Meaning tying Charles to a log and putting him through a buzz saw. After walking in at the nick of time with her sister, Violet struggles to figure out the words to control and later unhypnotize her brother. She first yells at Klaus to call attention to him. Once Flacutono commands Klaus with “you lucky boy,” the oldest Baudelaire realizes the catchword, and seizes upon it. What follows is a shouting match between Violet and Flacutono using “lucky” and telling Klaus to either push in or pull out the log with Charles on it. Then Dr. Orwell and Shirley show up. The evil optometrist tells Klaus not to listen to his sister, reducing Violet and Sunny pleading their brother. But then Violet remembers the last time her brother snapped back and says the word, “inordinate.” What follows is a chaotic scene with Sunny engaging in a swordfight with Dr. Orwell using her teeth, Violet being seized by Count Olaf and Flacutono, and Klaus having to use gum to move the log from the buzz saw which saves Charles’s life. Then Sir comes in and Dr. Orwell accidentally steps in the buzz saw’s path.

The song I chose for this scene is The Beatles’ “Hey Bulldog” from the Yellow Submarine album and film, which I think exemplifies the desperate circumstances and chaos surrounding the Baudelaires at this point. Yet, the original version is about how some people don’t think anyone understands them despite that there are other people around experiencing the same problems and want to talk. The second verse is about how people who aren’t understood by society are driven to extreme thoughts and actions like school shooters. In this version, I had the Baudelaires respond more to extreme actions than conduct them, unless you count Sunny engaging in a swordfight with her teeth against Dr. Orwell.

 

“Hey Buzz Saw”

Bald Man with Long Nose (as Foreman Flacutono):
Lucky!
Push the log again

Violet:
Lucky!
Might want to refrain
It’s not an accident if Klaus is hypnotized
What makes you think you’d orchestrate this gruesome exercise?

Bald Man with Long Nose:
Lucky!
Put log in and stat

Violet:
Lucky!
Better get it out
What kind of magic words must I have to say?
So Klaus’s trance can suddenly fade away?

You can talk to me
You can talk to me
You can talk to me, if you know me you can talk to me

Bald Man with Long Nose: Lucky! Log in!
Violet: Lucky! Log out!
Bald Man with Long Nose: Lucky! In!
Violet: Lucky! Out!
Bald Man with Long Nose: Lucky! Log In!
Violet: Lucky! Log Out!

Dr. Orwell:
Lucky! (Yeah)
Please ignore your sis

Bald Man with Long Nose:
Lucky!
Put the log back in!

Dr. Orwell:
Soon the young Baudelaires will be in Shirley’s care
They’ll all be fired while we’ll have their fortune share

Violet:
You can talk to me
You can talk to me
You can talk to me, if you’re know me you can talk to me
Hey!

Sunny (translated babble): Don’t hurt Charles!

Violet:
Please no, Klaus! Please no, Klaus!
Please no, Klaus! Please no, Klaus!

Violet: Inordinate! Inordinate!

Klaus: What? What d’you say? Jesus Christ!
Bald Man with Long Nose: Not so fast! Wooaah ha ha ha!

Count Olaf (as Shirley): You’ve got him, that’s great! That’s right! That’s it, man, hoo!

Dr. Orwell: Ouch! Not so fast, baby face! Engarde! Ah ho! Ha ha ha ha ha ha!

Klaus: Got to use some gum to get the log. Let’s see if this does the trick.

Dr. Orwell: Say your prayers, baby! Maybe there will be an accident after all…..Oh, shit!

Sir: What the hell’s going on here?

All:
Oh, my God!
Oh, my God!