Now you can have marshmallows that taste like booze. Why anyone would want that, I have no idea.

Shoot hoops at the office with this fun desk game. All fun and games until the ball hits Jeff from accounting.

Here’s the perfect coffee cup for those who enjoy coffee and abhors cardboard. Comes with a silicon lid.

Bring the port a potty experience to your life with this. But during an outdoor camping trip in the woods. Because publicly relieving yourself on this won’t win you many friends.

Because squeezing a talking stress ball is a great way to blow off steam. Prone to annoy co-workers for hours.

That way, you can make yourself look like you’re wearing a watch but aren’t. Come in several different colors.

Enjoy countless hours of laughing at mistakes of those who fail at basic syntax. Fun for the whole family.

Give your Austen fan a way to look like a bad bitch with these tattoos. Tramp stamp not included since that’s just plain improper.

It’s the kind of gift that suggests, “I know you look at porn, Bob.” If you’re a woman, it’s a great way to tell your boss he’s a total creep. This is especially if he happens to be Louis C.K.

Makes a handy way to store your eggnog for the office Christmas party. A must have for any Santa pub crawl.

Spend endless hours dancing to music with these slippers. Also double as headphones. Okay, this is a prank pack. But it’s quite amusing.

A way to gamble and get drunk during a party. Just like so many do in Las Vegas.

Best way to make cocktails at a rave. Though I’m sure James Bond would beg to differ.

After all, children receive stickers for their achievements. So why not adults? Reward yourself with these stickers for mundane adulthood accomplishments.

The kind of gift that says, “I know you like to work out. Yet, you also lose a lot of important stuff.” Has a compartment for your keys, money, and credit cards.

From B+C: “What lights up and will instantly turn you into the opposite of the grinch?” Think it as something Elton John would wear to a Christmas party.

For those who wish to drink with sophistication. And probably have a drinking problem.

These are the kind of shot glasses for a hunting party. Though they seem somewhat impossible to set down. Well, unless you remove the heads first.

In this game, each player answers personal questions while pretending to be in the “hot seat.” Depending on the crowd, can result in lots of laughs, fights, relationship breakdowns, and possibly a lifetime of therapy.

Down champagne like a fish with this Chambong glass. Though it might make you look like an idiot during more formal occasions.

Not sure what to make for dinner? Then foodie dice provides the answer. Though you can also check your fridge for leftovers, too.

From B+C: “Protect your cookies from… people who apparently steal your cookies so often that you need a safe?” Try getting those chocolate chip cookies now, Cookie Monster.

From B+C: “Could the German Shepherd mask be the new creepy horse mask? Only time will tell.” Me: Absolutely.

Because any woman could use a special towel to dry her boobs. Instead of like an actual towel she normally uses for drying everything.

It’s the kind of gift for someone who can’t hold it in between rest stops. Not something you’d want to receive in a gift exchange.

It’s basically Poopourri for those who expect to be treated like royalty. Not sure if anyone would lose their head over this.

Now you can go to a rave with light up pasties. Goes great with glow sticks or your Lady Gaga costume.

From Dodoburd: “This toilet paper is in the likeness of $100 bills, so you can feel like Bill Gates or Warren Buffett and take care of business with money instead of toilet paper. It’s a way to get a taste of the good life without having to manage a multi-billion dollar corporation.”

Because there’s nothing more irresistible than smelling you just came out of a pizza shop. Whether that’s a good or bad thing is hard to say.

And you can guess where the bottle goes. Yep, the place where the sun don’t shine.

Hold candy in a glass bowl that’s shaped like a plastic bag. Sure it’s not the best looking bowl. But hey, what do you know?

These were a fad in the 1980s. I know it’s kind of hard to fathom that now.

Toast hotdogs with your very own hotdog toaster. Though to be fair, you can always use a toaster oven.

Finally, something you can use to take a nap anywhere or anytime. Though you can just use a sleep mask. Nevertheless, this is a prank.

With this you can make ice cream treats on your car. Okay, this another prank gift. But it’s so hysterical I couldn’t ignore it.

It’s the kind of clock that will make people feel rather uncomfortable. I me an it’s a giant eye that always seems like watching you.

It’s kind of disturbing if you think about it. Seems like a fish going down the drain.

Because what else could you give a Game of Thrones fan? Just make sure that special someone isn’t getting married. Since this is more appropriate for a red wedding.

Includes puzzles pertaining to National Treasure and Raising Arizona. Still, who’d really want something like this is beyond me.

Though funny, it’s not the kind of umbrella you’d want in 2017. Seriously, have you heard of all the sexual misconduct allegations?

It’s a chocolate bar with bacon. Though people love both bacon and chocolate, that doesn’t mean the two should be together.

Yes, they all smell like different kinds of beer. Now you can get yourself clean and smell like you’ve walked out of a bar.

Because your cocktail drink should always taste of breakfast. I know, it’s pretty disgusting.

You know, the kind of comb a bald guy uses. Notice the combs are on the ends.

From B+C: “Decorative beards and mustaches are definitely here to stay, so give that guy in your life the products he needs to keep things tidy.” Still, I’m a woman, and even I don’t like receiving hygiene products. I’m sure guys would feel the same.

It’s cologne meant to smell of a campfire. And it’s said to be explosively awesome. Like you’ve just been to a bonfire and now smell literally like smoke.

Really? Canned air? I’m sure it’s just a whole can of nothing. Air is air no matter where it comes from.

It’s the kind of gift that says, “I didn’t know what to give you this year. But I heard you enjoyed Law and Order. So there.”

Look, I don’t mean to offend. But a beer belly fanny pack is disturbing. By the way, I know the British definition of a “fanny pack” but that’s what I call it.

Now women can sneak in booze with flasks that resemble what they stick up their butt during their time of the month. Yeah, I know that’s gross.

Yes, it’s a kit in which you make candles with the stuff in your ears. Fortunately it’s one of those prank boxes. So it’s not as truly disgusting as the image depicts.

Look, I understand an electric bottle opener’s useful. But I’m not sure if it’s something you give someone. Besides, a regular corkscrew works just as well.

You’re supposed to use it to replace it when your brain goes wrong as far the description says. Except you can’t really replace your brain. And this is just a plastic balloon.

It’s a candle that cackles like a fireplace for those who don’t have them. Still, think it’s kind of stupid.

Okay, that’s guaranteed to cause some injury. Should probably buy something else for secret Santa.

Makes you seem like you have gooey feet. But they’re not necessarily ideal outdoor wear either.

It’s supposed to hold your iPad while you’re in the car. Perfect when you’re stuck in traffic. Actually it’s a prank pack so it’s probably too good to be true.

A great to tell your Secret Santa you hate them. Because there’s nothing in this jar.

It’s a pair of underwear with Drake’s face on it. Since my sister did a portrait of him in high school, I feel rather tempted to give her one of these.

It’s a calendar featuring pictures of natural features that resemble male genitalia. So you can spend all month arguing how some National Monument looks like a penis.

From Refinery29: “The kind of people who like to text in full paragraphs do not need any encouragement, please.” Costs $89.

From Refinery29: “For those moments when lying around with your tablet is still too much effort.” Available at $159.00.

From Refinery29: “For the exercise-averse who are also people-averse.” Available at $109.

From Refinery29: “If you don’t have trypophobia already, you will after squeezing one of these things and watching the “blisters protrude from the bag.” Blech.” Disgusting indeed.

From Refinery29: “Ever wonder what happened with the world’s supply of CD-ROMs? A man named Dick in Chicago turned them into clocks and is now marketing them to our youth.” Besides, Justin Bieber and Selena Gomez aren’t together anymore.

From Refinery29: “This is a toy that will get you arrested for playing in public.” Still, looks like fun.

From Refinery29: “Like a firm hand on your back forcing you to sit up straighter — all the time.” Doesn’t look comfortable.

Refinery29: “Transform that tacky bottle of three-buck Chuck you’re gifting this season into the most festive bunch of barrel-chested revelers you ever did see!” Perfect for any ugly sweater party. Or not.

From Refinery29: “Who wouldn’t want a handsome, velveteen box — with engraved money clip or 9-in-1 tool — just bursting with sodium nitrate?” Uh, me.

From Refinery29: “Don’t you love when the lights are out, you’re burning your favorite candle, and it slowly melts to reveal a cluster of wraiths trapped in a ghostly embrace?” Okay, that’s really creepy.

The office gift exchange item that enhances your desk’s tackiness. Still, I really don’t know what to think of this.

It’s for stress relief which you can squeeze. Yet, in an age of Trump, you better go with a voodoo doll.

They’re pastel lollipops with ants in them. Try licking these without wanting to puke.

Because while a guy has his man cave, a woman needs a space of her own. Still, this is pretty tacky.

That way, you can always know which people outside your home use the bathroom. Still, this is something I’d want if I have celebrities at my home.

Now your pet can experience the blessings of overpriced housing. Seriously, this is ridiculous.

Think of it as a lazy way to get someone to serve you a drink. But ring too many times and they’ll refuse.

That way, you can clean the floors as you walk. They may be cute, but would anyone ask for these?

A great way to remind your friend why you don’t invite them to pool parties anymore. Though a cap of “I Poop in Pools” would be worse.

Includes disposable gloves, antiseptic wipes, and a toilet seat cover. Perfect for the germaphobe in your life.

For nothing refreshes the room like your dog puking on the floor. Disgusting.

Now you can light a candle to worship the patron saint of fitness. Though that might make your loved one say, “Who’s Richard Simmons?”

Sure it’s supposed to make a man look like a Civil War general. Well, a Civil War general from cheap battle reenactment.

Just add water and you have a new pair of tidy whiteys. Actually, I’m not sure if this works.

It’s basically the kind of makeup brush every young woman wanted when she was 6. She may like it, but is getting this a good idea?

The kind of box you use to sneak some of those joints in. Except in Colorado, Washington State, and Massachusetts.

It’s for getting people to stay away from the messes you make. Like when your dog pukes on the carpet. Or does its business on the carpet.

Remember Paris Hilton? Here’s a perfume of hers. Prepare to reek of rich bitch with no brains or talent.

Because why stick pins into a doll while you can use a pencil for a paper one. Perfect for anyone suffering through the Trump administration. Like me.

For the friend who lives far removed from civilization that he’s willing to make conversation with inanimate objects. Based on the Tom Hanks movie.

Yes, we all love to make fun of Nic Cage. He just has that intense stare. Though his career has never recovered since the 1990s.

For a real beast in the kitchen. Good for protecting hands as well as letting everyone know who really gets the cookies.

Includes everything you need to find Sasquatch. Consists of stickers, a membership card, evidence flags, booklet, magnifier, seat bags, and more. Like you’ll ever find the guy.

Now your man can be ready for business time and bed. Though the sweat band kind of detracts.

So if you have to go at night, you don’t need to turn on the light in the bathroom. Useful but not desirable.

From White Elephant Rules: “This rubber coaster makes it look like you’re crushing a little man with your coffee cup. Who wouldn’t enjoy that?”

These are crazy straws for adults which costs $350. Certainly a rip off for the ages.

From B+C: “As the dudes at Manready Mercantile describe, the idea behind this product was to ‘keep restrooms smelling like royalty.’ One question: When did restrooms ever smell like royalty? All reasonable questions aside, this citrus-inspired scent would be a welcome change in the loo.”

It’s a man soap for his privates. A subtle way to tell your boyfriend that he has sweaty, smelly, and grimy junk.

Since when did David Hasselhoff have a music career? Nevertheless, it probably sounds as good as anything by William Shatner or Terry Bradshaw.