Next Saturday will be my 28th birthday. So like the few previous years, I usually commemorate the occasion with an assortment of crazy birthday cakes you’d find in a store thanks to Cake Wrecks. When you go to a bakery or store like Wal Mart or Giant Eagle, you usually expect the cakes they make to resemble what you’d see in a book they provide or what you’d specify. However, there are times when it’s not the case. Sometimes customers might see a cake with all kinds of mistakes or unintentional errors. But often they have to make the best of the situation. Since you don’t really want to waste a cake. So for your reading pleasure, I give you yet another assortment of birthday cakes gone wrong. Some of these might not be safe for work by the way. Enjoy.
- Perhaps you might want a Shrek cake for your birthday.
Okay, Shrek looks terrifying in this. Like he’d eat children and squeeze the jelly out of your eyes. No, he’s not like that in the movie.
2. Small children will always delight with a Barney cake.
Seems like Barney is giving himself a bikini wax. Nothing to see here, kids.
3. Anyone who enjoys Angry Birds will rave about these cakes.
Well, they hardly look angry and they barely look like birds. More like badly drawn Sesame Street characters.
4. There are plenty of kids who’d like a birthday cake of Sponge Bob Squarepants.
Well, it seems that Sponge Bob’s squarepants are now a speedo. And his legs are unusually long.
5. Elmo always makes a wonderful first birthday cake.
Sure he might be in a diaper. But, yes, his smiley face kind of freaks you out.
6. Sometimes when ordering a cake, it might be better not to specify the punctuation.
Since the word “comma” is written into the cake. Perhaps a grammatically correct cake isn’t all that’s cracked up to be.
7. They say many kids would want a cake of Dora the Explorer.
From Mommy Shorts: “Dora the ‘OMG! There are two giant walruses fighting over my hair!'” Though they don’t seem to have white tusks. But yes, the kind of resemble walruses.
8. Sometimes the instructions may get lost in translation.
No, I don’t think that person wanted a cake that said, “Giant 57.” More like a 57 in a giant font size.
9. Not sure if that person wanted a cake with ramen noodles on their mom’s cake, but there you go.
I think the cake decorator wasn’t supposed to hear “ramen noodles.” But it’s on the cake anyway.
10. Of course, children can’t resist a cake of Mickey Mouse.
Why did does Mickey have Princess Leia buns instead of his large circle ears. And why is he smiling like he’s about to stab me?
11. There are times when a nice birthday cake for a friend can go awry.
Yes, some “f” adjectives can be quite positive. But the word “fat” is usually not one of them. Though being “fit” and “fat” is possible.
12. They say youth comes to die at 40.
And his cake is of a tombstone with white and black roses. Well, you’re only young once I suppose.
13. When your baby’s turning 1, make sure the 1 candle isn’t in an inconvenient location.
Yeah, putting that candle between Winnie the Pooh’s legs make it seem like he’s having a wet dream. Still, isn’t he supposed to be a plush toy anyway? I mean Pooh’s not supposed to have any junk.
14. Uh, I think they just wanted the name “Al” under “Happy Birthday.”
You have people who might take instructions way too literally. You have to wonder why you even get cakes like these.
15. At every place, there is always someone who doesn’t take directions well.
This recipient ordered a cake with a green and yellow inscription. They got neither.
16. Happy Birthday, actually we want you to join a 12 step.
Not sure why they make cakes to get people into rehab. But I suppose it might work for some.
17. A kid named Nemo should naturally get a Finding Nemo birthday cake.
Still, Nemo and Dory don’t seem to be a lively pair on this one. Quite the contrary actually.
18. There are times when a cake can send the wrong message.
Was this a cake meant for Father’s Day for Gomez Addams? Or a birthday cake for Herman Munster? Cause this one seems quite grim.
19. Well, they said Stan enjoyed swimming.
Yet, this boy seems like he’s dead in the water. Think we might need a lifeguard in this case.
20. Happy Birthday Keith and Arianna and don’t worry about anything.
A cake with the saying “He trusts you!” doesn’t seem like a good sign for me. Just a thought.
21. There are some men who might want a fishing cake.
Though they wanted the name “Gary” in white. That didn’t happen.
22. “Happy Birthday, Sprinkles!”
Oh, they wanted sprinkles on the birthday cake. Still, at least they got that. Since it has plenty of sprinkles.
23. This person only wanted a 1 on this cake.
This is definitely for a boy’s first birthday as far as the color’s concerned. Yet, some decorator doesn’t know how to take directions.
24. Often an icing likeness doesn’t go over well.
And it seems like this icing girl doesn’t know how to smile. More confused at what’s going on. Like me looking at this cake.
25. A child would delight in a Scooby Doo cake.
Seems like Scooby Doo has a rather thick neck. Still, kind of freaks me out.
26. Apparently, Linda didn’t get what she wanted on her cake.
Looks like this cake didn’t get the cherry. But it did get the instruction which is barely a consolation.
27. A beach body cake should always have a bit of realism.
Though this is a bit too realistic. Seriously, I’m all for not shaving pubic hair. But that doesn’t mean it should be on a cake.
28. Sometimes people just want their cake to be simple.
Indeed this person, just wanted “Happy Birthday.” And they got in on the cake twice.
29. A monkey is always a wonderful motif for a baby’s first birthday.
Though the banana is unfortunately placed between the legs. Not really sending a family friendly connotation here.
30. A dresser cake is perfect for a young girl.
Though I think her name’s supposed to be “Bobbie.” I’m sure her birthday cake will lead to a lot of teasing in school.
31. A cake of a gorgeous woman would fulfill a man’s dreams.
Though there’s something phallic about this cake. I mean her boobs could be easily seen as balls for some reason.
32. You’re never too old to have a birthday cake with a Disney Princess.
Yet, strangely, Snow White doesn’t seem smiling in this one. Or smiling rather awkwardly.
33. Any Disney girl would love a crown cake for her birthday.
Well, it doesn’t seem to resemble a princess crown. More like a crown passed to a younger sister.
34. A 21st birthday is always seen as a rite of passage.
And this one has a Ken Doll puking into a toilet of sprinkles. Kind of disgusting if you think about it too hard.
35. “Happy Birthday Concentrated Debbie.”
Yeah, I have no idea what it means either. Also, what’s with all the cherries?
36. Someone must complain a lot.
I think it’s supposed to be “Whitney.” Still, this is kind of hilarious.
37. For some a birthday cake should have a festive spin.
Though this is a plain cake that says, “Happy Birthday and Fireworks.” Seems this isn’t what they wanted.
38. Apparently, someone has mixed feelings about their child.
Well, kids can seem like brats sometimes. Though this kid is probably turning 9 from what I can count of the candles. Then again, his name is probably Brad and he’s not an unpleasant child at all.
39. There are occasional cakes that can make flagrant accusations.
Let’s hope this is a misspelling of someone’s name. Because such accusation might put you on a sex offender list later.
40. Perhaps you might want a floral cake?
So who the hell names their kid Stick? Because this just seems kind of weird.
41. A rainbow cake should brighten anyone’s birthday.
I guess they wanted a birthday plaque. Not the word “Plaque.” Too bad they didn’t get what they wanted.
42. Best not mind the chocolate bits in the center.
This one says “Just Happy Birthday.” Still, the chocolate bits might be tasty. But they don’t do wonders on its appearance.
43. An 18th birthday cake should always have a unique design.
Though this cake seems more appropriate for a bachelorette party. Includes some silver decorations on the top.
44. Any young child would adore an Oscar the Grouch cake.
And here’s Oscar in his debut on The Walking Dead. And yes, he’s hungry for your brains.
45. Sometimes a birthday cake can be ordered on the stealth insult side.
Not sure if the “you whores” addition was intentional or not. But it’s kind of funny it’s on a cake with pink flowers.
46. Well, at least they included the clown hat.
Though they didn’t have to write it down on the cake. Just putting a clown hat on there would’ve been fine.
47. A first birthday cake should always have endearing characters.
However, these seem like they’re from some horror show. That figure seems like it’s coming apart.
48. There are some places where a tickling hand is appropriate.
But a birthday cake for a 30 year old man isn’t one of them. Also, it looks kind of creepy if you ask me.
49. Young boys always relish with Star Wars birthday cake.
Still, the message seems a bit odd. Sure he’s unlikely to become a Jedi. But does that mean you should have it on a cake?
50. Seems like they don’t know what to do with this birthday boy.
This could almost be a great birthday cake for Anthony Scaramucci. Since he only lasted in the Trump White House for 11 days.
51. A Harley Davidson cake should look badass.
Yet, the flames on this sheet cake seem rather pathetic. Doesn’t inspire any impressive feats.
52. Anyone with the Force would approve of a lightsaber cake.
Though the lightsaber seems rather erect. Like a Jedi has to show their rod.
53. There are those cake decorators who can’t make up their mind.
They think they should decorate a cake. But they’re not sure if it’s this one. And there’s the script.
54. Even adults couldn’t resist a unicorn.
Seems like this unicorn isn’t too happy. Also, doesn’t seem like it’s well drawn either.
55. A cake like this is only appropriate for an old tortoise.
Still, the turtle doesn’t seem lively on this one. Then again, neither is an average person turning 75.
56. You should always follow directions but not too literally.
These cakes say, “Happy Birthday on Both.” One has flowers. The other has a rainbow.
57. A birthday cake should always sparkle.
But a birthday cake that says, “Sparkle” doesn’t go so well. Though the flowers are pretty.
58. Always pipe the words on a cake after you spray paint it.
Because you can barely see “Happy Birthday” on here. Decorator should’ve waited a little while.
59. Apparently, Kelly is an Auburn fan.
Because it’s written on her cookie cake. Despite that the decorator didn’t really need to.
60. Everything should be in its proper place.
But that doesn’t mean they need a description in icing. Unless these inscriptions were for the decorator.
61. Perhaps a beach birthday cake may suit you.
Yet, this one has pumpkin decorations for some reason. Doesn’t seem to be right.
62. Happy Birthday to whoever’s covered in green.
Evidently someone put on the wrong name. So they blocked out in green. Now it’s a green blob.
63. A birthday cake should have a rather intricate design.
However, this seems to resemble a spiral with some yellow icing. Looks really disgusting.
64. When featuring a photo, always choose wisely.
Yeah, that isn’t a flattering picture. This is probably intentional. But if you’re a parent, would you want your kids to see you in a thong? No.
65. Even an adult could enjoy a cake of Chewbacca.
Thankfully, Chewie has aged better in the newer Star Wars movies than on this cake. Here he just resembles a giant Ewok from your nightmares.
66. A little girl will delight in this Minnie birthday cake.
Actually this is an android Minnie Mouse. She has no life in her. Nor any talents but smiling like a serial killer.
67. Back in the 2000s, young girls would die for a Hanna Montana cake.
Miley Cyrus today would’ve been embarrassed to see her likeness on this cake. Kind of makes her seem a bit cheeky.
68. A bunny cake for a kid’s birthday is always nice.
As long as it’s not the Playboy Bunny. But the parents of this 6-year-old didn’t get the memo. Seriously, Hugh Hefner was a creep and his magazine promoted the objectification of women.
69. Any boy would enjoy an Angry Birds birthday cake.
The contraptions are clearly made out of Kit Kat bars. Still, seems rather sloppy on the icing.
70. Not sure what would stink about a skunk cake.
Kind of says, “well, you’re rather cute but give a foul stench when you’re threatened.” Also, prone to get run over by a car.
71. Any Hawaiian girl would love a Hawaiian Barbie cake.
The grass skirt kind of resembles a broom. Perhaps this isn’t as good an idea as it’s cracked up to be.
72. Young children might enjoy a birthday cake of Bob the Builder.
Is that ground meat? Please don’t say it’s ground mea? Because that’s just plain unsanitary as disgusting.
73. A future free thrower craves for a basketball birthday cake.
The cake is a basketball court while the figures are baseball players. So this is basically a baseketball cake?
74. A Yoda cake, wise choice it is.
But family friendly, it is not. As Yoda show off his lightsaber upwards, he has.
75. Seems like someone getting money from decorating this cake.
Because they have the inscription, “Big tip if it’s there before 12.” Not something you’d want to see on a birthday cake.
76. Nothing brings smiles like a little horse cake.
More like a dead horse cake. Some little kid will be disappointed or traumatized on their birthday.
77. Any girl would want a cake with Belle and Cinderella.
Belle and Cinderella seem like they’re more likely to fit in a horror movie than Disney. Belle’s eyes are especially terrifying.
78. Nobody could hate a duck cake for a baby’s first birthday.
Okay, that duck seems like it’s going to kill someone. Don’t look it in the eye.
79. A clown cake is a smash at any kid’s birthday party.
Hey, I didn’t know they had a cake of Pennywise the Clown. I’m sure Stephen King’s It fans would love to see this.
80. I see this is a cake for Gandalf’s birthday party.
Well, he is incredibly old on Middle Earth. So it’s possible the wizard is 13,000 years old. And yes, they do celebrate birthdays there.
The Lone Girl in a Crowd 