Because the thumbs look quite different. Also, that doesn’t look like a 6-year-old girl to me for some reason.

Don’t just write it in multi-colored icing. But did the cake decorator listen? No.

Because if you write across, the saying may look like this. And let’s just say, it’s kind of off so to speak.

But instead it says, “un.” Yeah, that doesn’t make sense the least bit.

Okay, more appropriate for a kid’s Halloween party. Also, does that clown look dead to you? Seriously, it’s creepy.

Yet, it’s on top of some green icing. Nobody knows what it says to this day.

Though I don’t know what the hell this figure’s doing on here. Is there a Sesame Street muppet I don’t know about?

Okay, we know Jeff is a boy. The icing is in blue. Also, Jeff is a boy’s name. Seriously, I have 2 uncles by that name.

Uh, isn’t that supposed to be the bakery’s job? Don’t they have a special design program for that? Just asking because I know they put photos on cakes somehow.

But 70 is kind of pushing it. Then again, it her birthday. She can have any cake she wants. If she wants Cinderella, fine.

That basically all it says. Because we don’t really know the guy’s name.

Yeah, “Birthday” is mispelled. Despite that spelling it isn’t that hard. Wonder why that is.

“Birthday” is definitely spelled wrong. Yet, what is that name below? Kathy W or Natty W?

And apparently, this bakery doesn’t know any but English. Though they wrote the instructions.

Oh my God, what the hell is that thing? Seriously, that looks more like a demon with bee stripes? And no, I’m not calling it Sting.

But this Mickey seems rather skeevy for some reason. Seriously, I don’t like the look in his eyes like he’s out for trouble.

Seriously, the words are all together. Also, who the hell named their kid Prudy in the 1980s and 1990s?

Though this one doesn’t look anywhere near finished. Or part of the design ripped off. Either way, looks rather sad.

Make sure the words are in purple icing. As the cake says here.

Well, they delivered. But someone took the instructors way too literally.

And what better than to have it on generic fruit cake. No tie dye, peace signs, or psychedelic patterns whatsoever.

Yes, “Birthday” is mispelled again. Not sure why this keeps happening. Seriously, all bakeries should have spell-check.

Apparently, this cake decoraor doesn’t know it. Despite the fact I’ve heard it my whole life. Also “Birthday” is misspelled.

Okay it’s supposed to be Kelli? And I don’t think it’s supposed to include an eye. Yeah, someone messed up here.

Then again, this seems more like an abandoned pavement theme. Why anyone would want that, I don’t know.

Okay, you don’t use the “th” when doing 21. Also, being a mom at 21 isn’t a thing to aspire to, no matter how sexy. God, this is disturbing.

Instead, Mark got a garden carrot cake. Hope he doesn’t throw a tantrum. But at least the sea is written in.

But dino apocalypse cake, not so much. Seriously, these dinos can go extinct at any moment. The foliage already has died.

Yet, the 3 is on backwards. How is that possible? Seriously, does someone not know how numbers are written?

What’s that ghost holding? Is that shit? Is the ghost covered in shit? God, that’s disgusting.

Okay, this cake was written sideways. So instead of a winter scene with a tree, it’s basically a winter scene revolving on a shit puddle. Given how the branches seem to resemble the stench.

But this one has too many car rings. Seriously, you can space them out more.

For one, the decorated doesn’t know how to draw a bra as you can see? Also, this is a very inappropriate cake for a 10-year-old girl.

And I don’t think this is a shamrock. Seriously, what the hell is that?

As this cake specifies. But the words in parentheses make that very clear.

Yes, it’s supposed to say, “Happy Birthday Tristan.” But in yellow. It’s written in black icing.

And yes, the inscription is in purple icing. And yes, it’s as instructed.

But you wouldn’t know it from how is name’s spelled. Let’s hope he doesn’t know how to read. Oh wait, he might.

Okay, that doesn’t look like Barney. Just a giant purple lizard, which may not be a bad thing.

Who the hell are these ladies? Because they sure as hell don’t look like Golden Girls. Seriously, what the hell?

To be fair, they asked for a King of Hearts card as it’s written. But that’s not what they got.

But did they really have to write it on there. Seriously, kind of creates an awkward situation with the customer.

Not sure what that means. Because it makes absolutely no sense whatsoever.

Uh, Twilight’s not anime. Seriously, I don’t care for Twilight and even I know this.

Yes, that’s another misspelling of “Birthday.” Because bath days aren’t really that special for a cake.

Okay, this one is freaky. Seriously, that looks nothing like Cookie Monster. More like Grover with rabies.

Not that A-Rod. Still, a pepperoni pizza it does not resemble in the least. The red icing bits aren’t flat circles.

Not that A-Rod. Still, a pepperoni pizza it does not resemble in the least. The red icing bits aren’t flat circles.

Seems like someone didn’t know how to put them together. Hope my neighbors’ granddaughter never gets one like this.

Though I really don’t care for hat hair. Seriously, Elsa’s hair looks like it’s made from Cool-Whip. Doesn’t look good.

Yes, someone wrote that inscription while that cake’s upside down. So that’s why the balloons look like that.

Still, the beach the seems to have a rather phallic disposition. Hope the parents can get a laugh out of that.

Yet, the balloons apparently resemble sperm. Sure it’s for a boy, but it’s pretty inappropriate.

Okay, maybe not. But the cake can use some spell check. Also, it’s in pink icing.

Uh, Jabba doesn’t look like that. He’s much more disgusting. Also, can we rather have a cake where Leia strangles him with a chain? Since that’s far more satisfying.

What are those white cactus creatures doing here? Are they ghosts? Is SpongeBob’s ocean haunted? Oh, wait, this used to be a Halloween cake.

I’m sure the kid’s name is Peter. But I hope this cake wasn’t for a kiddie party. Because he’ll never live it down.

I’m they wanted “Happy Birthday” sticks on the cupcakes. But they got this instead for some reason.

I’m sure it’s supposed to be “Jocelyn” or “Jacklyn.” Apparently, this decorator didn’t know which name to use. So we get this.

Yet, this one says, “Ha’ penis.” Let’s hope she’s not a lesbian for obvious reasons.

Well, this doesn’t resemble the logo. More like an unfinished peace sign. Yeah, you have to have the slices be all equal and in silver.

But this more or less resembles a melted snowman with spray paint. Not the Japanese cartoon icon.

This dragon looks pretty lame since it doesn’t dazzle with ferocity. More like a snake with spikes.

Guess this is a workplace. Still, did anyone have to rub it in their face that nobody cared about their birthday? Seems kind of mean-spirited.

Actually, it’s supposed to say, “Mom.” Yeah, someone really screwed up here.

Because I don’t think he’s 10. Unless the people buying this cake are his pets or toys. Seriously, why?

Actually that’s a leftover Easter cake made into a birthday one. But the inscription is kind of hilarious. Also, this was supposed to be cowboy-themed.

You can see words, “On the top” and “Below.” Kind of ruins the effect, doesn’t it?

This one has a lightning bolt slicing the name Connor. Nothing else.

Okay, the butterfly body resembles a turd. Let’s hope the little birthday girl doesn’t notice.

Actually the age of consent is 18. Still, this kind of gives a rather disturbing vibe. Seriously, what the fuck?

Now this is the kind of 60’s hippie party cake I’m talking about. Okay, the logos don’t quite look like peace signs. Yet, it’s probably not what this guy wanted.

And they didn’t get what they wanted. Since this cake just says, “My Little Pony.”

Seriously, is this really necessary? What if it says anything embarrassing?

What are Iron Man and Captain America doing with Jes- wait, that’s supposed to be Thor? Still, it looks like something a kid would draw.

This one features a sad Batman with a weight problem. His hands are unusually large for his arms as well.

Not sure what this is supposed to be. But it resembles a turd floating in the ocean.

Yes, one with a long, stiff, and erect horn. Okay, the horn just seems rather phallic for some reason. Like it can double as a dildo.

However, this one doesn’t necessarily say “Curt.” I’m sure the kid will have a lot of questions on that special C-word that’s an insulting slang term for female genitalia.

Okay, this message isn’t really seem appropriate to a Star Wars fan. Also, the kid’s supposed to be 6. Why?

This one has piping in red while it says “too No in Blue.” But at least it has 2 candles.

Guess this was made for a dad who just got out of prison. Though it also works as a 50 Shades of Grey theme.

That’s not a great message to put on cake. This is especially the case with the smiley face containing x’s.

Yeah, that hotdog doesn’t look right. Not to mention, the drizzle doesn’t resemble mustard.

That SpongeBob looks really disgusting, especially around the nose. Also, why does the cake have 6 candles.

Since Alexis wanted the letters in pink. While the decorator didn’t know how to follow directions.

The cake doesn’t even resemble a western scene. Also, “lone” is spelled “loan.”

Well, at least they spell her name right. Though the “F” is capitalized.

Suddenly, Pennywise doesn’t seem too bad despite being an actual killer clown. Seriously, why do they cater clowns to children?

Well, if you want an IT themed party, you can’t go wrong with this. Since this cake can terrify the shit out of you.

Okay, if your son is into superheroes, you might want a cake that doesn’t include Thor’s hammer. In case Thor’s hammer resembles a dildo.

Actually you’d hate it. Since it basically consists of badly drawn figures playing basketball.

But someone just had to repeat the instructions. You have to wonder who decorates these things sometimes.

What the hell are Pooh, Tigger, and Eeyore are doing? Seriously, this can’t be good.

Since it’s spelled out as “Booby.” Hope that doesn’t result in someone getting stuck with a bad nickname for life.

Apparently, that’s what it says. Not sure why. Seems like someone doesn’t follow directions.

But the disembodied braceleted hands doesn’t seem to help matters. Since that’s kind of creepy.

At least someone realized they made a mistake. Still, doesn’t seem to help matters as you can see.

Someone doesn’t seem so sure who this cake is for. Since there’s a question mark at the end.

Must be short for “Pickles” I guess. Still, doesn’t seem to go with the blue flowers.

Except it says, “Happy Birthday Plaque” like they expected it to be for anyone. And in pink icing, too.

Apparently, some decorators pretty much put on what they hear on the phone. Wonder what was going on here.

Seriously, a blackface Mickey Mouse? Did the decorator have any idea of how extremely racist that is? Then again, Walt Disney didn’t see anything wrong with doing Song of the South.

Excuse me, but that no way resembles Mickey Mouse. More like the Big Bad Wolf getting ditched by his prom date.

Yeah, the punctuation is horrible on this one. Also I’m not sure what that saying means. Hope Sue isn’t a grammar Nazi.

Also, that wine glass reminds me more of a misshapen toilet plunger. Seriously, how hard is it is to do wine glasses?

Hope Sue isn’t too self-conscious. Because this is definitely something nobody wants on a cake, let alone a woman.

Okay, “blow that” shouldn’t be on a cake. Because that could have a lot of a lot of negative and sexual connotations. Oh, it’s supposed to be “below.”

Also, that says “Jappy” instead of “Happy.” Not the kind of message you’d want to open with.

It says, “Happy Birthday Stalker!” Makes me wonder what the relationship is between them.

What the hell is wrong with his nose? Seriously, that’s messed up.

Okay, that didn’t turn out well. Also, is that supposed to be a hand?

From Cake Wrecks: “Huh, I’ve never heard of Iron Man’s “exploding crotch” feature before. Must be an upgrade.”

Yet, this truck seems to go on the shitty path. Seriously, the trail resembles a huge turd.

Well, at least Craig’s getting a new pencil box for his birthday. Though I don’t think he’d want one.

From Cake Wrecks: “Clearly the baker just wanted to protect the identities of those poor musicians.” Seems reasonable.

Yet, I think the inscription shouldn’t have been handled by someone who transcribes like this. But at least they included an 8.

Just because Disney now owns Star Wars. Doesn’t mean it’s appropriate to put Disney characters on a Star Wars cake. Because it isn’t.

Guess that’s what they look like without their shells. Still, I don’t want to see that at all.

I know that’s supposed to be a baseball bat. But it looks more like a wooden lightsaber, a magic wand, or a dildo.

Apparently, he doesn’t mind having smiling turds on his cake. Still, it’s kind of hilarious.

This seems kind of cheap if you ask me. Seriously, you have to wonder about this.

Of course, we all know what a “douchebag” is. Then again, it just might be a term of endearment in this case.

From Cake Wrecks: “All I see is a giant cat’s paw. Does Barbie have a cat? Is this somehow related? Am I over-thinking this? Where are you all going?”

Actually I’m not really sure what this is supposed to be. A frog? A fish? An alien?

Looks more like a tree monster. And right now it’s hungry.

Though would you want that written on a cake? Probably not.

I think the family wanted musical notes drawn at the cake. Unfortunately, one decorator didn’t get the memo.

Yet, the bakery could use someone who doesn’t write down everything the customer says. Kind of detracts from the aesthetic.

Seems like the dog is on drugs or has been through a horrible accident. Hasn’t been the same since.

This was for a 12-year-old. But it’s clear they’re not a snowman. Because snowmen don’t last that long. Except on Hoth.

Note how it’s phrased like a question. Though they put the message on top anyway.

Apparently, the decorator isn’t familiar with the material. Still, the first part is, “Go Peed Race” which is hilarious.

Yet, someone just wrote what the person ordered on the cake. And there are no sprinkles around it.

I guess this one was for a joke. Yet, why did the words appear in yellow?

Yet, we should know that while aged wine may peak at some point, it reaches a point of decline. Though such is life.

It says “Momther” as if they couldn’t choose between the two. That’s not even a word. Or should we add it to the dictionary?

Okay, that’s pretty disgusting. Seriously, that’s a really long hairball.

Instead, it’s written in red. But at least you can see a green balloon.

This one has a scantily clad woman riding a football. Not sure how that works, but I get the idea.

Because the cake has 40 on it. While the candles say 20. Not sure how that works.

Yet, looking at them, they seem like black and blue sperm. Not exactly what you’d want on a cake.

Okay, that’s incredibly terrifying. Like something out of a nightmare or scary Asian theater.

Though they more likely resemble turds with tails. Yeah, kind of shitty isn’t it?

Actually, I changed my mind. In fact, this cat is quite terrifying, even with the party hat.

Yet, you wouldn’t get away with this in America. Since the drinking age in the US in 21.

Though when you’re 17, you shouldn’t be reminded on it. Least of all on a birthday cake.

Okay, that monkey’s quite frightening. Not something for a 2-year-old’s party.

Yet, some people just don’t know how to take directions. So you get a message like this.

Also, it seems the candles are coming from the horse’s ass. Also is that a pile of poo behind it?

Yet, the track looks quite messy for Motocross doesn’t it? Also I don’t think the racer will get out of the icing.

What the hell is up with his mouth? Seriously, that just looks really weird.

Okay, the bat should go. Seriously, the phallic imagery is apparent.

I’d have to be an egomaniac to want that. Because this looks really strange if you ask me.

I’m sure this is for a kid’s 13th birthday. But you’d think it was for a 13th, uh, something else.

However, Superman looks more like he’s resting than flying through the sky to save people. Kind of lame if you think about it.

Not sure if showing support means whipping out a bra. Then I get it’s supposed to be a joke.

God, her head is quite misshapen on this cake. While her wings are quite small.

Okay, that kind of frightens me. Seriously, the dog looks like it’s about to bite at somebody’s heels in cold blood.

Though I’m not sure about the message. But at least they gave the unicorn a sweet pink mane.

Okay, Shrek looks terrifying in this. Like he’d eat children and squeeze the jelly out of your eyes. No, he’s not like that in the movie.

Seems like Barney is giving himself a bikini wax. Nothing to see here, kids.

Well, they hardly look angry and they barely look like birds. More like badly drawn Sesame Street characters.

Well, it seems that Sponge Bob’s squarepants are now a speedo. And his legs are unusually long.

Sure he might be in a diaper. But, yes, his smiley face kind of freaks you out.

Since the word “comma” is written into the cake. Perhaps a grammatically correct cake isn’t all that’s cracked up to be.

From Mommy Shorts: “Dora the ‘OMG! There are two giant walruses fighting over my hair!'” Though they don’t seem to have white tusks. But yes, the kind of resemble walruses.

No, I don’t think that person wanted a cake that said, “Giant 57.” More like a 57 in a giant font size.

I think the cake decorator wasn’t supposed to hear “ramen noodles.” But it’s on the cake anyway.

Why did does Mickey have Princess Leia buns instead of his large circle ears. And why is he smiling like he’s about to stab me?

Yes, some “f” adjectives can be quite positive. But the word “fat” is usually not one of them. Though being “fit” and “fat” is possible.

And his cake is of a tombstone with white and black roses. Well, you’re only young once I suppose.

Yeah, putting that candle between Winnie the Pooh’s legs make it seem like he’s having a wet dream. Still, isn’t he supposed to be a plush toy anyway? I mean Pooh’s not supposed to have any junk.

You have people who might take instructions way too literally. You have to wonder why you even get cakes like these.

This recipient ordered a cake with a green and yellow inscription. They got neither.

Not sure why they make cakes to get people into rehab. But I suppose it might work for some.

Still, Nemo and Dory don’t seem to be a lively pair on this one. Quite the contrary actually.

Was this a cake meant for Father’s Day for Gomez Addams? Or a birthday cake for Herman Munster? Cause this one seems quite grim.

Yet, this boy seems like he’s dead in the water. Think we might need a lifeguard in this case.

A cake with the saying “He trusts you!” doesn’t seem like a good sign for me. Just a thought.

Though they wanted the name “Gary” in white. That didn’t happen.

Oh, they wanted sprinkles on the birthday cake. Still, at least they got that. Since it has plenty of sprinkles.

This is definitely for a boy’s first birthday as far as the color’s concerned. Yet, some decorator doesn’t know how to take directions.

And it seems like this icing girl doesn’t know how to smile. More confused at what’s going on. Like me looking at this cake.

Seems like Scooby Doo has a rather thick neck. Still, kind of freaks me out.

Looks like this cake didn’t get the cherry. But it did get the instruction which is barely a consolation.

Though this is a bit too realistic. Seriously, I’m all for not shaving pubic hair. But that doesn’t mean it should be on a cake.

Indeed this person, just wanted “Happy Birthday.” And they got in on the cake twice.

Though the banana is unfortunately placed between the legs. Not really sending a family friendly connotation here.

Though I think her name’s supposed to be “Bobbie.” I’m sure her birthday cake will lead to a lot of teasing in school.

Though there’s something phallic about this cake. I mean her boobs could be easily seen as balls for some reason.

Yet, strangely, Snow White doesn’t seem smiling in this one. Or smiling rather awkwardly.

Well, it doesn’t seem to resemble a princess crown. More like a crown passed to a younger sister.

And this one has a Ken Doll puking into a toilet of sprinkles. Kind of disgusting if you think about it too hard.

Yeah, I have no idea what it means either. Also, what’s with all the cherries?

I think it’s supposed to be “Whitney.” Still, this is kind of hilarious.

Though this is a plain cake that says, “Happy Birthday and Fireworks.” Seems this isn’t what they wanted.

Well, kids can seem like brats sometimes. Though this kid is probably turning 9 from what I can count of the candles. Then again, his name is probably Brad and he’s not an unpleasant child at all.

Let’s hope this is a misspelling of someone’s name. Because such accusation might put you on a sex offender list later.

So who the hell names their kid Stick? Because this just seems kind of weird.

I guess they wanted a birthday plaque. Not the word “Plaque.” Too bad they didn’t get what they wanted.

This one says “Just Happy Birthday.” Still, the chocolate bits might be tasty. But they don’t do wonders on its appearance.

Though this cake seems more appropriate for a bachelorette party. Includes some silver decorations on the top.

And here’s Oscar in his debut on The Walking Dead. And yes, he’s hungry for your brains.

Not sure if the “you whores” addition was intentional or not. But it’s kind of funny it’s on a cake with pink flowers.

Though they didn’t have to write it down on the cake. Just putting a clown hat on there would’ve been fine.

However, these seem like they’re from some horror show. That figure seems like it’s coming apart.

But a birthday cake for a 30 year old man isn’t one of them. Also, it looks kind of creepy if you ask me.

Still, the message seems a bit odd. Sure he’s unlikely to become a Jedi. But does that mean you should have it on a cake?

This could almost be a great birthday cake for Anthony Scaramucci. Since he only lasted in the Trump White House for 11 days.

Yet, the flames on this sheet cake seem rather pathetic. Doesn’t inspire any impressive feats.

Though the lightsaber seems rather erect. Like a Jedi has to show their rod.

They think they should decorate a cake. But they’re not sure if it’s this one. And there’s the script.

Seems like this unicorn isn’t too happy. Also, doesn’t seem like it’s well drawn either.

Still, the turtle doesn’t seem lively on this one. Then again, neither is an average person turning 75.

These cakes say, “Happy Birthday on Both.” One has flowers. The other has a rainbow.

But a birthday cake that says, “Sparkle” doesn’t go so well. Though the flowers are pretty.

Because you can barely see “Happy Birthday” on here. Decorator should’ve waited a little while.

Because it’s written on her cookie cake. Despite that the decorator didn’t really need to.

But that doesn’t mean they need a description in icing. Unless these inscriptions were for the decorator.

Yet, this one has pumpkin decorations for some reason. Doesn’t seem to be right.

Evidently someone put on the wrong name. So they blocked out in green. Now it’s a green blob.

However, this seems to resemble a spiral with some yellow icing. Looks really disgusting.

Yeah, that isn’t a flattering picture. This is probably intentional. But if you’re a parent, would you want your kids to see you in a thong? No.

Thankfully, Chewie has aged better in the newer Star Wars movies than on this cake. Here he just resembles a giant Ewok from your nightmares.

Actually this is an android Minnie Mouse. She has no life in her. Nor any talents but smiling like a serial killer.

Miley Cyrus today would’ve been embarrassed to see her likeness on this cake. Kind of makes her seem a bit cheeky.

As long as it’s not the Playboy Bunny. But the parents of this 6-year-old didn’t get the memo. Seriously, Hugh Hefner was a creep and his magazine promoted the objectification of women.

The contraptions are clearly made out of Kit Kat bars. Still, seems rather sloppy on the icing.

Kind of says, “well, you’re rather cute but give a foul stench when you’re threatened.” Also, prone to get run over by a car.

The grass skirt kind of resembles a broom. Perhaps this isn’t as good an idea as it’s cracked up to be.

Is that ground meat? Please don’t say it’s ground mea? Because that’s just plain unsanitary as disgusting.

The cake is a basketball court while the figures are baseball players. So this is basically a baseketball cake?

But family friendly, it is not. As Yoda show off his lightsaber upwards, he has.

Because they have the inscription, “Big tip if it’s there before 12.” Not something you’d want to see on a birthday cake.

More like a dead horse cake. Some little kid will be disappointed or traumatized on their birthday.

Belle and Cinderella seem like they’re more likely to fit in a horror movie than Disney. Belle’s eyes are especially terrifying.

Okay, that duck seems like it’s going to kill someone. Don’t look it in the eye.

Hey, I didn’t know they had a cake of Pennywise the Clown. I’m sure Stephen King’s It fans would love to see this.

Well, he is incredibly old on Middle Earth. So it’s possible the wizard is 13,000 years old. And yes, they do celebrate birthdays there.

“So you tell me you’d help me get to the ball? Then why the hell weren’t you there for me when my dad died, you fairy god bitch? You should’ve enchanted child services, for God’s sake.” I’m just improvising here.

Well, it seems like the recipient got their wish. Though some decorator doesn’t seem to follow directions.

But a cake of a severed ear? I think one of Van Gogh’s paintings would’ve been more appropriate.

This person requested some words in yellow and some in green. But not in the colors they are.

I don’t know about you. But I’d stick with the forest theme. Because let’s face it, clowns are creepy.

Doesn’t help that her hips are unusually thick in her proportion to her body. Maybe her crankiness makes perfect sense.

All too happy, Yoda seems. Suspect compensating for something, Yoda may. Want to know, I may not.

Sorry, but while 40 may mean you’re middle aged, it doesn’t mean you’re being dragged to your grave. Still, this is disturbing.

Though how these women are drawn is utterly atrocious. Seriously, Cinderella, Ariel, and Snow White don’t look like that.

Now this looks very freaky. Here we have Big Bird’s feet and wings along with a head that denotes he might’ve been on drugs before being dismembered.

Just don’t mind that whoever decorated this cake can’t count. Because there are 8 candles which is more than there should be.

No, 40 isn’t old for the love of God. Seriously, since when did 40 get associated with aging?

It’s well stated that she wanted a blue anchor not flip flops. The decorator only wrote it down.

For some reason Elvis looks like an angry vampire. Or like Wolverine. Not sure which.

After all, who wouldn’t want to rule the galaxy with an iron fist while riding on a pink horse over the rainbow? Still, this is hilarious.

As a history major, I don’t think Karen was a popular name in the 1600s. Then again, this is probably a fluke and Karen is actually 40. Kind of disappointing because I would’ve loved to ask her to recollect her experience of being at Plymouth Rock.

Yeah, someone didn’t follow directions despite writing them on the cake. But by then it was too late.

Okay, that T-Rex is giving me nightmares at the moment. Seriously, this is for a child? God, the cake looks like it’s to eat somebody.

Sometimes you can’t always tell what’s being said in cursive. But the last part sounds disgusting to me and is surely a typo.

And remember, kids, only one of these sperm will fertilize the egg which results in conception. So that’s how sex results in reproduction.

Unfortunately, Elmo has come out of his slumber to haunt the world with his noxious desire for tickles and evil laughter. Be afraid. Be very afraid.

Wonder why nobody got to the bottom of this silent but deadly misspelling. Guess the decorator was being a real asshole.

Jesus Christ, a forest fire cake? Of course, the buck is only waiting for the sweet release of certain death that’ll await him as he’s consumed by the raging flames.

Not sure which part of the court the ball’s in at the moment. But both sides seem to be quite firmly erect about it. Then again, this is a very inappropriate cake for a 10-year-old boy.

I know that’s supposed to be the Red Sox logo. But it’s in disgusting snot green. Must’ve been done by a Yankees fan.

Well, at least whoever decorated it is honest. Still, this would be a perfect cake for Sheldon Cooper.

Yeah, including Hell won’t give you brownie points. The decorator must have something against the third or is not sure how to spell.

Yes, we already know we’re not special. But one’s birthday isn’t a time to be reminded of that.

I don’t know about you. But Ariel’s face really doesn’t look right here. Not sure why though it’s freaking me out.

Okay, I’m not against having a Batman cake for a young boy. However, I don’t think a Dark Knight Joker cake for a 4 year old is appropriate. I mean the movie is rated R.

I put a cake on my birthday post last year with the same mistake. But it was the other way around. Still, since I have 2 uncle Jeffs, I could see this happen.

Minnie, are you okay? You don’t look like yourself. Are you and Mickey having problems?

Yeah, we all know what ER stands for. Nobody needs to explain it.

Apparently, someone didn’t know how to spell the word. So they just wrote how it sounded to them.

I think it’s supposed to be Beth and Libby. But you can see where they went wrong with that.

However, this monkey cake is downright freaky and nightmarish. Not something you’d want for a kid’s birthday.

Excuse me, but those blots of clown icing look like turds to me. It’s like no matter where you go in the rainbow, you’ll always find shit at both ends. Kind of a depressing message to say the least.

Well, at least they’re being honest. It’s kind of hard to put it more politely sometimes. Hope it’s not for their boss.

Not sure if Kim’s going to like that. Still, it would’ve been acceptable if it weren’t for the unfortunate addition.

Sure it would’ve looked great if it weren’t for the peace signs being upside down. Not sure what that stands for exactly.

Though it does kind of resemble a flattened turtle with its insides oozing out in all directions. Yes, it’s gross.

Someone doesn’t seem to follow directions, do they? Still, some kid will be disappointed on his big day.

Then again, these cakes must be hard to make. But I’m positive it looks broken and very tacky.

I don’t know about you, but from how the fruit’s being held, I don’t think this is an appropriate cake for children. I mean it seems to suggest something highly suggestive.

Yes, we all die in the end. But that doesn’t mean you should have a dug out grave and casket on a birthday cake. Seriously, why?

This is kind of demented if you think about it. Also, that doesn’t really look like Chewbacca. More like some brown shaggy dog with depression.

Even more disgusting that it has flies in it. Yes, someone must have a very sick sense of humor.

I’m not sure what the hell they were thinking when it came to depicting the birthday boy in a speedo. That’s just embarrassing and insane.

And by that, we mean Depends. You know the adult diapers for people with bladder control problems.

This cake has a 1/4 of a century which means it should be for a 25-year-old. But the candles say 75.

So what are those black things on the cake? Fleas? Droppings? Please let them be sprinkles for God’s sake.

How about a cake with roses instead? Because that’s just what they’re getting.

Because such balance beam image seems to defy gravity. My guess is that it’s upside down.

Okay, I was wrong. Uh, either Dora has a severe weight problem or she’s 9 months pregnant. And I’m hoping she has a severe weight problem because I don’t want to think about the latter.

Interesting image for a depressing metaphor. Not sure if everything goes to crap after 40 as long as you take good care of yourself. Still, this is gross.

Look, I understand that certain shows have their fans. But this cake is utterly disturbing, especially with a dismembered Barbie. Good God.

However, this cake doesn’t get Miley Cyrus’s proportions right. And the rest of her comes off very cartoonish.

Though looking at this cake, some may not have the balls to know admit that the bat sports a very hard wood. Seriously, perhaps a baseball diamond might be more appropriate?

At any rate, don’t expect Vicky to react to this well. She might be very upset.

Now this is disgusting. Seriously, a roadkill cake? Why the fuck would anyone want that for their birthday? What the fuck?

But a Cabbage Patch kid’s head on a stump? Oh, God no!

I guess someone didn’t follow directions to the letter. Also, those babies on carrots are freaky.

Not sure who that’s supposed to be. But I strongly think it’s a joke.

Yeah, you don’t want to remind a kid to wear underwear on their birthday cake. That’s not the time and place for that.

Though I’m not so sure about this one. Since it makes me feel kind of sad if you ask me.

Because to me it looks like a smiling turd in the water. Disgusting.

For some reason, this dog doesn’t look happy. Must be the pain of having candles stuck on its back.

The fins don’t even look right on this for God’s sake. Seems more like a weird penguin creature from outer space.

For the love of God, please let this be a microphone. Because this really seems to resemble a toy mommy and daddy use that the kids aren’t supposed to see.

Still, this cake doesn’t send great connotations to women as materialistic fiends. Because not every woman likes to shop (I don’t).

Now that doesn’t sound very nice. Sure we’re self-deluded in our looks to some extent. But that doesn’t mean we should put it on a birthday cake.

Yes, I know this is inappropriate. But given the unintentionally phallic shaped birthday cakes, I thought I could include this without much outcry. Still, this isn’t a cake to have in front of the kids. Also, if you’re a woman, what does a cake like this suggest about you?

Yeah, nobody likes to be called Turdi. They may think she’s all full of crap.

Basically it’s saying that now that her youth is over, prepare for the inevitability of death. Nice touching message.

Because those look like feet to me. And I think that doesn’t make the triangle rocket look right.

Sorry, but a 9/11 cake is really offensive and dishonorable to the memories of those who died in the attacks. Not to mention, the people who still have health problems over it. For God’s sake this is wrong on so many levels. Seriously, why the hell does this cake exist? What the hell is wrong with people?

But at least the tool theme is fitting. Though not sure if you should nail it in.

Not sure about a cake of Ken on a fur rug. I mean that’s just freaky. Sorry, but it doesn’t have the same effect in icing and plastic.

From Cake Wrecks: “I’m not sure if “River” is the birthday person’s name, or if – in the tradition of Wreckerators everywhere – the decorator just labeled the cake what it’s supposed to look like. If that’s the case, then s/he must have meant “cascading river of blood, cement, and mold”. But, you know, that probably wouldn’t have fit.”

But I sense a real disturbance in the Force with this one. But it’s said to have a real Jedi Master’s vibe so to speak. But it’s not good in the cold. Take note padawans.

Let’s hope the recipient isn’t turning 5. Because that would be bad. Still, like the rainbow color on this, though.

However, this is not what I had in mind. So I suggest that you give Lori some padding, too? Seriously, why?

Then again, maybe this family should’ve went with Iron Man. I think a cake of Thor’s hammer may not turn out like the parents intended.

Yes, I know monkeys can eat bananas. Yes, I know that they do gross things. However, this monkey cake shouldn’t have it holding a banana at its crotch.

Yes, this is a very inappropriate Barney cake which will make a little girl disappointed. However, I think this is great since it makes an annoying purple dinosaur into a pink Godzilla on a rampage. It’s wonderful.

Yes, I know that being 16 makes it legal to drive. However, 16 is also the age of sexual consent in some states as well. So “legal” here can be rather non-specific, which is kind of creepy.

Had no idea that balloon placement could make things seem more inappropriate than they should be. Still, wonder if the family has the balls to use this one.

I’m sure this girl wouldn’t appreciate a Denver Broncos logo on her cake. This assuming that she lives outside Colorado.

Apparently, this dog cake seems like a clinically depressed aardvark for some reason. Not sure why. Is there such a thing as canine Prozac?

I believe the boy’s name is supposed to be “Patrick” not “Parik-Shit.” Let’s hope this kid is too young to read so he won’t ask what “shit” means.

I don’t know about you, but I don’t think a little girl is going to go for a birthday cake depicting Belle with Botox injections. Seriously, this cake is utterly terrifying even though it shouldn’t be.

Great, this cake has a diseased foot on it which really disgusting. Makes me want to lose my appetite or puke. Not sure which.

This guitar seems rather phallic for some reason. Not sure if it’s supposed to be. Still, let’s hope this one isn’t used for a kid’s birthday party. And leave it at that.

I’m sure it’s supposed to be “Beth.” I don’t think the name includes a “c.” Still, let’s she doesn’t take it too personally.

Seems like somebody got their birthdays mixed up. Luckily, the decorators managed to correct it with some bright green icing. Hope it makes Sean happy.

But if it’s a one-eyed smiley face flower, it’s bound to give some little kids nightmares. Seriously, that’s incredibly freaky and disturbing.

Uh, maybe getting a monkey cake for your kid’s first birthday probably isn’t a good idea. Seriously, that monkey looks rather terrifying if you ask me.

Yes, I know that Superman is supposed to be all heroic as well as fly in to save people. However, I’m not sure if having a burning building on a birthday cake should emphasize that. Don’t ask me why someone thought this was a good idea.

I guess the hunter already shot Dora and her buddies are dragging her away. Yeah, you get such hunting accidents like these. But maybe this bunch shouldn’t have been in the woods at this time, too.

Well, at least they got the blue flowers on the cake. Still, did they have to spell it out on the icing? Seriously, it’s kind of distracting.

Is it supposed to be “Cali Girl?” Still, I wonder who’s receiving it understands what a “call girl” is. If she does, she’ll probably be pissed.

A brain on a cake? Now that’s gross. Makes you wonder if this guy is a fan of The Walking Dead. Then again, it’s implied that he’s seven.

I don’t know about you, but I tend to see the sight of an ashtray as depressing as it is disgusting. As a cake, I see it no differently.

Yes, just rub it in, I tell you. Wonder why Jason didn’t do anything for the other person’s birthday. Then again, he’s probably an ungrateful asshole to get a cake like this.

Well, at least this cakes honest. But did they have to put it on a cake? Wonder if this birthday boy drives a Hummer or tries to compensate. Still, at least this one has some candy on it.

However, I can see why a cake like this might make some guys squirm. Yeah, the mention of “Dick” surrounded by tools could do that for them.

Of course, writing on a cake isn’t the best way to ask for a spell check. Seriously, it’s going to a family later for some girl’s birthday. “Plese Prooffreed This Kake” should not be on there.

This mustache cake would be perfectly appropriate for a man’s birthday. However, this is for a 30-year-old woman named Annie. Let’s just say women don’t like being seen having mustaches.

Because if you want to celebrate a 9-year-old’s birthday, then you have to find some way to remind them about their inevitable mortality. And how their bodies will eventually decay and be infested with bugs. Very disgusting to think about it.

I don’t know about you, but I don’t think the term “alcoholic in training” is a compliment. That decal of a woman in athletic gear just seems to make it more absurd.

No, Tink, you don’t want to mess with Darth Vader. He’s not a nice guy and doesn’t tolerate mischief whatsoever. Also, that lightsaber will kill you if he swings it at you.

Hey, I didn’t say it was a cake of Barney doing anything nice. Rather this is him flipping the bird like he would in traffic. As the song says, “I fuck you, you fuck me, you’d be shocked of my attorney’s fee…”

I don’t know about you but this pony looks as if it’s been impaled on the side and is now sinking in some swamp. Not a very happy sight. Poor thing.

I don’t think this is what they had in mind. But I’m sure they would have to do. Still, doesn’t seem like a great newspaper to me. The words are written along the columns.

And it seems that this cake depicts Princess Merida on clean up duty. Or are those turds supposed to be foliage. Still, someone better explain themselves because it seems that Merida has just stepped in some large pile of cow manure.

Okay, that’s bound to give 3-year-olds nightmares. Buzz Lightyear wasn’t meant to haunt people’s dreams. But I think this decorator sees him differently for some reason.

Seems to have looked a lot creepier than I remember. And they thought she’d went on the deep end when she did her performance at the VMAs or in that “Wrecking Ball” video.

This cake looks so messed up that I can barely read the words on it. Seriously, it looks as is someone puked green on it.

Not sure if I think a cake in flames is appropriate for someone’s birthday. Still, even for flames, these are pretty lame.

Guess Dave on this cake might be a little light in the loafers. And for all I know, Uncle Steve might be on some sex offender list somewhere. Let’s hope they’re not in a relationship.

To be fair, this is for someone who is 25. Still, A bottle of Jack Daniels as a cake like that seems kind of depressing if you really think about it. Seems like Sam might need help.

Too bad, already written down. Should’ve ordered a cake with someone who knows how to follow directions. Now that seems cruel.

Well, on the bright side, this doesn’t seem like a hard cake to make. Still, why they have to include the turds? That’s gross.

Hope this person isn’t going through a midlife crisis. Or a health crisis. Still, not sure if you want that on a birthday cake.

Well, Ryan can be a girl’s name. However, how many girls named Ryan do you know? Exactly. Still, I know a few guys named Ryan I went to school with though.

Yes, this is Chewie in a dress. And yes, it’s like having the Beauty and the Beast in the same persona. Hey, laugh it up, fuzzball.

To be fair, this was made on purpose in light of a popular TV show in Britain. Still, Americans might not understand and think it’s gross. I hope one of professors doesn’t use a cake like that for his son’s birthday.

Whoever got this one should’ve ordered a blank cake and put the Chinese characters on it themselves. C’mon, what are the chances that a cake decorator in retail knows any Chinese?

Hope this cake doesn’t give any indication of how the Philadelphia Eagles were doing that season. I mean Eeyore isn’t the most sunny character from Winnie the Pooh. Still, must suck for siblings to share a cake. They should’ve went generic.

Of course, right now you probably wouldn’t want a Chipoltle burrito cake for your birthday. Now that you think about it, with the E. Coli and Novovirus outbreaks, you don’t want to go anywhere near one.

I don’t know about you, but I don’t think “clown massacre” is a great theme for a birthday cake. In fact, I don’t think it’s a great theme for any cake. This is horrifying.

Actually, waking up with a hangover isn’t any fun. So why have a cake depicting one, I have no idea. Still, least it’s better than having a cake of the movie.

Seems like this Harry Potter cake has an acne outbreak and is totally emo teen mode. Also, where the hell is his lightning bolt scar on his forehead? Must be under the bangs.

Oh, my God, this Barbie has a beard. Guess this was originally for a girl and was made to look as manly as possible. Now it seems like some transvestite in a white frilly dress. Probably a lumberjack.

I don’t know about you. But it looks as if Thomas might be going off the rails. Is there any form of anger management at Shining Time Station? Because his rail rage might cause some accidents.

Seems like the decorator assumed that no one will notice. Please don’t mind the stuff they crossed out.

Never cared for Justin Bieber. Think he’s a scrawny twit if you ask me. Seriously, kill it. Kill it with fire.

A coke hat cake? Seriously, that’s crazy. Oh, and it includes ecstasy. Okay, why does this cake even exist is my question. I mean why?

When they say, “Let no grass grow under her feet,” it’s usually not a compliment. Also, this cake is filled with some grammatical errors as well.

Uh, did anyone get the memo that Peter has a nut allergy? I don’t think that’s something you put on cake. Not sure if this resulted in Peter breaking in hives.

However, a cake with a bumblebee being pursued by a flamethrower, not so much. Seriously, why does this even exist? Why?

Yeah, I think this cake decorator has no idea how to follow directions. Also, I think this birthday cake is bound to make Heather feel disappointed.

Yeah, I think the soap is a bad idea. Still, let’s not hope it’s in the cake. That would be bad. Really bad.

Then again, that’s a cigar burning on his butt. Which begs the question, why the hell does this cake even exist? Seriously, why?

Well, at least they’re honest. Still, that message, “you’re not special” gotta hurt. You really don’t want that on your birthday cake.

Okay, I know the guy’s a rapper. But this one makes him seem like he’s a straight up horror movie villain. And the licorice dreads don’t help at all.

I know this was probably the parents’ idea. But still, Family Guy is a show for adults with adult jokes. A monkey cake would make more sense.

I don’t know about you but those towers don’t look right. To me they kind of resemble a trio of flowery dildos. Definitely not what you’d want on a cake for a little girl’s birthday.

Wait a minute, that’s supposed to be of musical artist Tori Amos. My bad. And a very bad rendition of her, too. Seriously, that doesn’t look right.

Well, this cake just says “My Little Pony,” so the birthday girl in this situation will have to use her imagination. Which is kind of a shame because the decorator didn’t know how to follow directions.

Or rather, tears of, wait, is that supposed to be blood? Sure looks like it. So why did anyone think this was a good idea for a birthday cake? Why?

Now that hardly resembles Elsa at all. More like a cartoony Queen Marie Antoinette dressed like Elsa for Halloween. They should’ve used a decal instead.

Well, I have to admire the decorator’s honesty. Then again, they might just have been repeating what the customer ordered. Either way, doesn’t look great on a cake.

I’m afraid Cinderella hasn’t aged very well. That, or she’s been having a lot of plastic surgery over the years that has gone horribly wrong. I’m not sure which.

Yeah, I think having “Happy Birthday Chubby” on a cake is bound to cause someone to have either a lower self-image or lose their temper. Please, don’t try to risk either.

Seems like someone took some customer’s directions a bit more literal than they should. Seriously, all they had to write was “Happy Birthday.” How hard could it be?

To be fair, the birthday girl in this situation was sharing a birthday with her dad. However, it does seem like Elmo’s being naughty at a strip club. Seriously, couldn’t they just put a pickup truck for God’s sake?

Seems like this cake decorator put down exactly just what the customer ordered. Just not how they wanted it. That’s how you get cakes like these.

This cake is so wrong on so many levels. For one, that doesn’t look like Chuck Norris. Second, the grammar is horrible. Oh, that’s supposed to be “doesn’t cry”. Well, the spacing’s too close. Third, an assault weapon, really?

Let’s hope this 7-year-old boy isn’t part of the Star Wars vs. Star Trek fandom rivalry or else he’s probably throw a tantrum. Still, we all should know that the Enterprise is from a whole different franchise! Such cake would certainly piss geeks off, at Comic Con and I’m sure this baker wouldn’t want to be seen there.

And I thought Barbie was supposed to be a good role model for girls, other than in terms of body image that is. Still, binge drinking is a real problem of teenagers and young adults, especially on college campuses. And it’s a behavior that should never be encouraged. Still, they have a few of these and one with Ken, too, for boys.

Now I think it’s more likely that this was an inscriber’s mistake and the guy who receives this is probably 80, not 8. Still, it’s very disturbing if you think about it since a boy’s chances of fatherhood in the second grade would be highly unlikely. That is, unless some woman molested him.

I know that this foot is supposed to represent a step or something. But still, that looks disgusting. Let’s just say no to a cake pertaining to foot disease, shall we?

For God’s sake, as if sexualizing young girls and teenagers isn’t enough. Seriously, sure girls may have breasts by the time they’re 13, but that’s no reason for getting a boob cake for them on their 13th birthdays! Seriously, what the hell is wrong with this girl’s parents?

Seriously, what the fuck? Putting a Bud Light logo for a 16 year old’s birthday cake? Teen drinking is illegal and anyone caught with a Bud Light gets arrested for under aged drinking. It’s even worse for adults who serve alcohol to teens. For God’s sake, why?

Those who’ve seen my post on baby shower cakes would be familiar with this design, which I thought was in very poor taste. And if a pregnant torso cake is bad enough for a baby shower, then one for girl’s 17th birthday is just very inappropriate. Seriously, we have 16 and Pregnant, sex ed, daytime talk shows, and Teen Mom, do we have to have anything else pertaining to teen pregnancy?

Then again, perhaps this cake isn’t appropriate for Aubrie’s birthday party and perhaps more suitable for her bachelorette party when she gets older. Seriously, there’s just something phallic about those pink castle towers for some reason. Maybe the baker shouldn’t have gone with cones.

The parents probably thought their plan was a success since their son Dylan still hadn’t learned to read. But still, if Peanut had died when Dylan turned 5, then he probably would’ve ran out of the room crying. Nevertheless, is there any birthday cake for a 4-year-old more depressing than this?

Of course, if you’re the person at the office who has to order a cake for a co-worker and you can’t remember his or her name, then this is the perfect cake for you.

Why the fuck would anybody order a birthday cake like that for a little girl? Now I have nothing against this cake being for a girl. Yet, I think a cake pertaining to Disney Princesses, Barbie, or My Little Pony would’ve done fine (same goes for boys as well). Also, cakes that look pink and feminine as well as catered to little girls (though if boys like that, that’s okay, too). Any of those choices would’ve been much more appropriate for any 6 year old’s cake than a theme advocating violence. I just wonder what’s going through Mercedes’ parents’ minds (NRA diehards who probably did this to show their support for the 2nd Amendment, assholes). This is just fucking insane!

Jesus Christ, can there be a worse place to celebrate a baby’s first birthday than at a restaurant known for their scantily clad waitresses with enhanced sex appeal? Then again, there are strip clubs and night clubs. Still, just E. J. is the child of one of the staff.

Sure the scenery may be pretty and S. J. won’t remember a thing about this special day. But, c’mon, is a cake depicting the last moments of a buck’s life an appropriate subject for a first birthday cake? Perhaps it would be better just to remove the hunter.

If by, Levi, you mean your pet hamster, then yes, I’m sure this will do fine since they only live for 2-4 years anyway. However, if by Levi, you mean your child, then what the hell? One year olds are still babies who might be on the verge of walking if they aren’t all ready. That isn’t over the hill at all. Not even close even for Benjamin Button. That’s barely climbing it.

Maybe the boy’s parents couldn’t get a cake shaped like a 1 so they got him a 2 cake instead. Either that, or the bakers made a mistake. Still, talk about getting your years mixed up.

Okay, now that may not look like a 1. Seriously, there’s something phallic about that number for some reason. Nevertheless, if a baker can’t do a 1 properly, he or she could just have cut a straight line. This cake seems like it’s more cut out for a bachelorette party than a baby one.

If Sesame Street’s Big Bird was a character from the Angry Birds game, he’d look like this. Seriously, that’s such a a terrible rendition and I’m sure every 2 year old would know that Big Bird doesn’t look like that.

If this cake is made from hashish brownies, then it’s safe to say that it probably came from a marijuana bakery from Colorado or Washington. Still, other than the brown patch in the corner, it’s a birthday cake Willie Nelson would approve. Hope the guests manage to toke a piece from this pastry of weed.

Seems that Rarity (and I had to look her name up) doesn’t take too well to Mexican food for some reason. Either that, or she has a case for diarrhea real bad with a perhaps spastic colon. Guess she should go see the vet about that. Yet, her shitting is a rarity, folks.

Sure cookies may not be nutritious snacks, but at least they’re better for Cookie Monster to consume on a child’s birthday cake than a swig of beer. Seriously, Cookie Monster’s alcohol consumption really isn’t making him a good role model on Sesame Street. Still, I kind of wish Cooke Monster would go back to eating cookies. And is that pink spot a nipple? Gross!

Sure Mario may be wearing overalls, but this isn’t really a picture of him I’d like to see on a child’s birthday cake, especially for a 5-year-old. Still, Princess Peach must’ve thought Mario looked sexy in that outfit.