State Birds That Should Be

John Oliver has once said that there are two things that American states are bad at: civil rights and state birds. Of course, anyone who’s studied African American history would understand the former, especially since the states’ lousiness to utter lack of interest in protecting civil rights was the driving reason in the rise of the Civil Rights Movement. Of course, I’ve written a few posts explaining why that is (such as one on the Charleston shooting and the Confederate Flag). However, I haven’t brushed on the other subject like state birds. Now I know it’s not nearly important but we have to understand that while the Founding Fathers were absolutely right to name the Bald Eagle as our national symbol, our states have been absolutely horrible in selecting a bird that best represents them. I mean there are several states with the same one like the Northern Mockingbird, the Northern Cardinal, the Eastern Bluebird, the Eastern Goldfinch, the Black-Capped Chickadee, the Western Meadowlark, the Mountain Bluebird, and the American Robin as well as others with birds that don’t seem to really represent them. Some aren’t even very unique. For instance, as a native and lifelong resident in Pennsylvania, I have never seen a Ruffed Grouse. I have seen a Great Blue Heron, a seagull, a Norther Harrier, a Bufflehead, and even a Pilated Woodpecker in my area. But I have never seen a freaking Ruffed Grouse in Pennsylvania in all of my freaking life. Not a single one. Maybe the wild turkey might not be a great national symbol but it would’ve been a way better state bird for Pennsylvania than the Ruffed Grouse. At least I’ve seen wild turkeys from my neck of the woods. Nevertheless, we have 50 states in the US as well as hundreds of native birds in our country to choose from. It’s not like several states have to pick the same one. Here I list my opinion for what I think should be the state bird for each of the 50 states of the United States of America.

  1. Alabama
While the Northern Mockingbird can be found anywhere, Alabama's association with Harper Lee and the Civil Rights Movement kind of makes it an appropriate state bird there. As Lee put it, To Kill a Mockingbird is to kill what is innocent and harmless like Tom Robinson.

While the Northern Mockingbird can be found anywhere, Alabama’s association with Harper Lee and the Civil Rights Movement kind of makes it an appropriate state bird there. As Lee put it, To Kill a Mockingbird is to kill what is innocent and harmless like Tom Robinson.

Official State Bird: Northern Flicker (Yellowhammer)

Why It Sucks: For one, this bird was chosen with its association to Confederate soldiers, which may be something Alabama may take pride in. However, I’m sure this bird’s association with Confederacy won’t sit well with the state’s minority populations. Also, there’s not a lot of flickers in Alabama anyway.

Best Candidate: Northern Mockingbird

Why: Sure I know it’s a common and boring bird. But Alabama was a major center of the American Civil Rights Movement as well as home to Harper Lee who wrote To Kill a Mockingbird, a book closely identified with it. Besides, the Civil Rights Movement was a major event that put Alabama on the map and what most people identify this state with. Still, if the Northern Mockingbird has to be a state bird, then it should be in Alabama.

Other Options: Blue Jay, Ruby-Throated Hummingbird, Cedar Waxwing, Red-Bellied Woodpecker, Tufted Titmouse, Mourning Dove, Brown Pelican, Northern Shrike, Great Crested Flycatcher, Loggerhead Shrike, Red-Cockated Woodpecker

  1. Alaska
Now this is the kind of bird I think about when it comes to Alaska. This is a magnificent bird of prey that the state could be proud of. Hell, it's even one of the few birds that can even get non-birders to come out for a look.

Now this is the kind of bird I think about when it comes to Alaska. This is a magnificent bird of prey that the state could be proud of. Hell, it’s even one of the few birds that can even get non-birders to come out for a look.

Official State Bird: Willow Ptarmigan

Why It Sucks: It’s a very common bird in Alaska, which is home to 69 species of birds that only breed there. It’s also not a bird most people imagine when they think about Alaska. Also, the name is dumb.

Best Candidate: Snowy Owl

Why: Well, I might be biased since Harry Potter owned one named Hedwig. However, this is possibly one of the birds someone imagines when they think about Alaska. This is a majestic, arctic bird of prey, which has all the makings of a truly great state bird that Alaska can be proud of.

Other Options: Horned Puffin, Gyrfalcon, Arctic Tern, Arctic Loon, Pacific Loon, Aleutian Tern, Little Auk, Great Gray Owl, Glaucous Gull, America Tree Sparrow, Golden-Crowned Sparrow, Trumpeter Swan, Tundra Swan, Emperor Goose, Wood Duck, American Widgeon, Bufflehead, Harlequin Duck, Smew, Steller’s Eider, King Eider, Horned Grebe, Red-Necked Grebe, Brandt’s Cormorant, Pelagic Cormorant, Boreal Owl, Rough-Legged Hawk, Merlin, Greater Scaup, Sandhill Crane, Semipalmated Plover, American Golden Plover, Solitary Sandpiper

  1. Arizona
While the Gila Woodpecker might be small, they are an important protector of the saguaro cactus. Not only does it eat insects that might harm the cactus, it also cuts away unhealthy flesh from the plant as well. They are also more common in Arizona than the Cactus Wren and prettier, too.

While the Gila Woodpecker might be small, they are an important protector of the saguaro cactus. Not only does it eat insects that might harm the cactus, it also cuts away unhealthy flesh from the plant as well. They are also more common in Arizona than the Cactus Wren and prettier, too.

Official State Bird: Cactus Wren

Why It Sucks: Not bad, Arizona. After all this is a desert state and the Cactus Wren is a desert bird. However, I’m not sure if it’s unique enough since Arizona isn’t the only desert state.

Best Candidate: Gila Woodpecker

Why: Well, they’re very adaptable birds in the Sonoran Desert and are associated with Saguaro cactus and Mesquite. Besides, while the Cactus Wren looks boring, the Gila Woodpecker has neat zebra wings. Not to mention, it has a bigger range than the Cactus Wren.

Other Options: Anna’s Hummingbird, California Condor, Yellow Junco, Greater Roadrunner, Great Horned Owl, Magnificent Hummingbird, Turkey Vulture, Zone-Tailed Hawk, Steller’s Jay, Gilded Flicker, Phainopepla, Painted Whitestart, Bullock’s Oriole, Ferruginous Hawk, Broad-Tailed Hummingbird, Elegant Trogon, Mexican Jay, Green-Tailed Towhee, American Dipper, Indigo Bunting, Gray Hawk, White-Throated Swift, Acorn Woodpecker, Mexican Jay, Red-Faced Warbler, Gambel’s Quail

  1. Arkansas
The Pileated Woodpecker may not be a rare bird, but its sheer size makes its presence unmistakable. Not to mention, its association with the Ivory-Billed Woodpecker makes it a good fit as the state bird of Arkansas.

The Pileated Woodpecker may not be a rare bird, but its sheer size makes its presence unmistakable. Not to mention, its association with the Ivory-Billed Woodpecker makes it a good fit as the state bird of Arkansas.

Official State Bird: Northern Mockingbird

Why It Sucks: Because it’s the state bird of 5 states and Arkansas has one of the worst reasons to claim it.

Best Candidate: Pileated Woodpecker

Why: Now this is possibly the largest woodpecker in North America (if the Ivory-Billed Woodpecker is extinct by this point). Not to mention, its large size gives it a strong unmistakable presence. It’s also very adaptable in forest and other environments unlike the Ivory-Billed. Still, this is a very awesome and unique American bird.

Other Options: Hairy Woodpecker, Downy Woodpecker, Eastern Phoebe, Chipping Sparrow, Easter Towhee, Tufted Titmouse, Eastern Screech-Owl, Barred Owl, American Crow, Eastern Whippoorwill, Great Crested Flycatcher, Loggerhead Shrike, Painted Bunting

  1. California
Though the California Condor is a scavenging buzzard, it's been seen as an important symbol for Native American mythology in California. It's also the largest land bird in North America and one of the longest living.

Though the California Condor is a scavenging buzzard, it’s been seen as an important symbol for Native American mythology in California. It’s also the largest land bird in North America and one of the longest living.

Official State Bird: California Quail

Why It Sucks: Well, it’s a unique bird for California. But it’s been misplaced in a lot of movies that some people think it lives almost anywhere (thanks to Disney, no doubt). Also, it’s a game bird and not one that embodies the spirit of the state.

Best Candidate: California Condor

Why: Because this scavenging vulture is the largest land birds of North America as well as one of the longest living. Not to mention, the state managed to have a successful breeding program and helped reintroduce them in the wild. It’s also a significant bird to California Native American tribes as well as plays an important role in several of their myths. It’s not an attractive bird but it’s a remarkable bird nevertheless.

Other Options: Western Gull, California Gull, Anna’s Hummingbird, Western Scrub Jay, Pacific Loon, Laysan Albatross, Red-Billed Tropicbird, California Thrasher, Yellow-Billed Magpie, Nuttall’s Woodpecker, Violet-Green Swallow, Cassin’s Kingbird, Black-Backed Woodpecker, Phainopepla, Bullock’s Oriole, Brewer’s Blackbird, Lazuli Bunting, Tufted Duck, Clark’s Grebe, Black Storm Petrel, Brandt’s Cormorant, California Towhee, White-Tailed Kite, Flammulated Owl, Spotted Owl, Black Phoebe, American Dipper, Barrow’s Goldeneye, Acorn Woodpecker, California Least Tern, Mountain Quail

  1. Colorado
The Gunnison Sage Grouse is known for its elaborate courtship ritual with males congregating in a lek

The Gunnison Sage Grouse is known for its elaborate courtship ritual with males congregating in a lek “strutting display” as groups of females observe and select the most attractive to mate with. And only a few males do most of the breeding.

Official State Bird: Lark Bunting

Why It Sucks: Yes, it’s a unique bird and the male is quite nice looking but it’s quite rare even in its own state.

Best Candidate: Gunnison Sage Grouse

Why: It is one of the rarest birds in North America and its population is only in a small area of Colorado. It’s also a truly unique bird in its own right with a great feather display and are notable in their unique courtship rituals. Also, most experts recommend this.

Other Options: Great Horned Owl, Belted Kingfisher, Calliope Hummingbird, Brown Capped Rosy Finch, Yellow-Headed Blackbird, Bullock’s Oriole, Brewer’s Blackbird, Lewis’s Woodpecker, Greater Sage Grouse, American Three-Toed Woodpecker, Clark’s Nutcracker, Lazuli Bunting, Black-Billed Magpie, Western Grebe, Eared Grebe, Clark’s Grebe, American Dipper, Mountain Plover, White-Throated Swift, Brown-Capped Rosy Finch, Boreal Owl

  1. Connecticut
Yes, I know the Blue Jay has a reputation for being an obnoxious and aggressive bird. But they're also quite beautiful, intelligent, and tough. I mean they're known to chase hawks and owls.

Yes, I know the Blue Jay has a reputation for being an obnoxious and aggressive bird. But they’re also quite beautiful, intelligent, and tough. I mean they’re known to chase hawks and owls.

Official State Bird: American Robin

Why It Sucks: It’s a state bird in 3 states which means that Connecticut should find a new state bird.

Best Candidate: Blue Jay

Why: For one, it’s a common North American bird and a rather iconic one. It’s also a rather feisty bird known to chase predatory birds like hawks and owls as well as make a variety of sounds. Besides, it’s been cited in a couple of works by Mark Twain, one of Connecticut’s most famous residents (and let’s just say the state is home to a lot of celebrities). Why the Blue Jay isn’t already a state bird in this country, I have no idea. But it’s a better choice than the American Robin.

Other Options: Killdeer, Great Cormorant, Green Heron, Black-Crowned Night Heron, Glossy Ibis, Laughing Gull, Roseate Tern, Ruby-Throated Hummingbird, Belted Kingfisher, Red-Headed Woodpecker, Eastern Kingbird, American Crow, Connecticut Warbler, Great Crested Flycatcher, Black-Throated Blue Warbler

  1. Delaware
Like many plovers, the Piping Plover is known to feign a

Like many plovers, the Piping Plover is known to feign a “broken wing display” in order to direct a predator’s attention away from its chicks. Of course, human activity at beaches has led to a population decline that conservationists have reserved beaches for them during breeding season.

Official State Bird: Delaware Blue Hen

Why It Sucks: Face it, it’s a domesticated chicken that makes for a very lame mascot at one of its universities. Not to mention, it’s not even recognized as a chicken breed for God’s sake. It’s just a state bird due its significance in a Revolutionary War regiment in the state. And its main use was in cockfighting. Real nice. Yeah, it’s a stupid state bird in a state that’s only known for Joe Biden, corporate friendly tax rates, Dr. Oz, and not much else.

Best Candidate: Piping Plover

Why: For one, the Delaware Audubon Society has a whole article on it as an Endangered Species. Second, it’s a shorebird and is quite small and Delaware is home to a lot of coastal birds. Third, Delaware even has a program to restore this bird’s population, which has led to the state closing a beach section during its breeding season. And like Delaware, it doesn’t look anything special.

Other Options: Red Knot, Seaside Sparrow, Purple Martin, Ruby-Throated Hummingbird, Barn Swallow, Great Blue Heron, Tufted Titmouse, Great Crested Flycatcher

  1. Florida
Now the American Flamingo isn't as common in Florida as some of its other birds. And it's only recently that they have returned to the Everglades. However, it's still the bird that comes to mind when you think of Florida. So why this isn't Florida's state bird already is beyond me.

Now the American Flamingo isn’t as common in Florida as some of its other birds. And it’s only recently that they have returned to the Everglades. However, it’s still the bird that comes to mind when you think of Florida. So why this isn’t Florida’s state bird already is beyond me.

Official State Bird: Northern Mockingbird

Why It Sucks: It’s the state bird of 5 states with one of them being Texas. Florida has one of the worst excuses since it has a rather diverse bird population, particularly in the Everglades which was designated as a National Park to preserve some of them. And all the birds they could’ve had to represent their state, they had to pick a small one that’s found everywhere. Really? That’s stupid.

Best Candidate: American Flamingo

Why: Basically, it’s such an iconic bird in Florida that it’s their unofficial state bird already. Of course, they’re not as common as they used to be in the state but as 2015, it’s been said that they’ve returned to the Everglades since about 147 have been seen there during the latest breeding season. Still, when you think of Florida, the American Flamingo is the first bird you think about. This is mostly because its likeness has been used in many tacky lawn decorations by Florida residents and others.

Other Options: Wood Duck, Great Blue Heron, Wood Stork, Magnificent Frigatebird, Brown Booby, Double-Crested Cormorant, Great Cormorant, Anhinga, American White Pelican, Brown Pelican, Little Blue Heron, Snowy Egret, Great Egret, Yellow-Crowned Night Heron, Green Heron, Black-Crowned Night Heron, American White Ibis, Glossy Ibis, Roseate Spoonbill, Northern Crested Caracara, Purple Gallinule, Sora, Killdeer, American Oystercatcher, Calliope Hummingbird, Ruby-Throated Hummingbird, Belted Kingfisher, Florida Scrub-Jay, Purple Martin, Painted Bunting, Hooded Merganser, Tricolored Heron, Sandhill Crane, Great Crested Flycatcher, Smooth-Billed Ani, Reddish Egret

  1. Georgia
The Eastern Towhee is a large and striking sparrow as well as the bird of the undergrowth. It's said its rummaging makes far more noise than what you'd expect for their size.

The Eastern Towhee is a large and striking sparrow as well as the bird of the undergrowth. It’s said its rummaging makes far more noise than what you’d expect for their size.

Official State Bird: Brown Thrasher

Why It Sucks: Well, for one, it’s not a compelling bird. Also, it had a hockey team named the Atlanta Thrashers which relocated to Canada and became the Calgary Flames. It’s also a rather common bird in the Southeastern US. Other than that, it’s not a terrible choice, just not one I think is good for Georgia.

Best Candidate: Eastern Towhee

Why: It is a large and striking species of sparrow that stands out better than the Brown Thrasher. Sure it’s a common eastern bird but it’s a permanent resident of Georgia as well as carries a nice sound, too. It’s also more common than a Brown Thrasher.

Other Options: Wood Duck, Blue-Winged Teal, Bufflehead, Hooded Merganser, Audubon’s Shearwater, Great Blue Heron, Little Blue Heron, Cattle Egret, American White Ibis, Black Vulture, Ruby-Throated Hummingbird, Belted Kingfisher, Eastern Kingbird, Blue Jay, Purple Martin, Cedar Waxwing, Great Crested Flycatcher, Loggerhead Shrike

  1. Hawaii
The Pueo is a actually subspecies of the Short-Eared Owl that is endemic in Hawaii. But it has been attributed by Hawaiian mythology as one of the physical forms assumed by ʻaumakua who were the ancestor spirits of Hawaiian mythology.

The Pueo is a actually subspecies of the Short-Eared Owl that is endemic in Hawaii. But it has been attributed by Hawaiian mythology as one of the physical forms assumed by ʻaumakua who were the ancestor spirits of Hawaiian mythology.

Official State Bird: Nene (Hawaiian Goose)

Why It Sucks: Now the Nene might seem like a great tropical state bird for Hawaii since it’s rather unique to the islands. However, the fact that it’s a goose is kind of disappointing to say the least. Besides, Hawaii must have other more interesting species than this one. Not the kind of bird I’d want to see on a postcard from there.

Best Candidate: Pueo (Hawaiian Short-Eared Owl)

Why: Well, because this owl is a rather significant bird in Hawaiian folklore as one of the physical forms of the ancestor spirits. It is deemed as a sacred family protector and bringer of good luck, despite being endangered. Besides, an owl is a better state bird than a goose any day of the week.

Other Options: Brant Goose, Laysan Albatross, Black-Footed Albatross, Hawaiian Petrel, Bonin Petrel, Newell’s Shearwater, Hawaiian Hawk, Hawaiian Coot, Hawaiian Black Noddy, Kauaʻi ʻelepaio, Oʻahu ʻelepaio, Hawaiʻi ʻelepaio, ʻŌmaʻo, Nihoa Finch, Hawaiʻi ʻamakihi, Liwi, ʻAnianiau, ʻApapane, Red Crested Cardinal, Hawaiian Gallinule, Hawaiian Stilt

  1. Idaho
Now the Pinyon Jay isn't a common bird in Idaho, people in this state seem to hold some kind of affection for it. Nevertheless, their highly social behavior makes them a rather dependable presence in the state.

Now the Pinyon Jay isn’t a common bird in Idaho, people in this state seem to hold some kind of affection for it. Nevertheless, their highly social behavior makes them a rather dependable presence in the state.

Official State Bird: Mountain Bluebird

Why It Sucks: Because it shares its state bird with Nevada. Not to mention, there aren’t many in that state.

Best Candidate: Pinyon Jay

Why: Well, for one, Idaho State University has a press venture named after it. Second, despite it appearing in a few southern Idaho counties, it seems to have a rather special place in that state. However, unlike the Mountain Bluebird, the Pinyon Jay is said to be seen in Idaho every month of the year, especially during the summer.

Other Options: Franklin’s Gull, Western Gull, Black-Billed Cuckoo, Band-Tailed Pidgeon, Great Horned Owl, Barred Owl, Great Gray Owl, Long-Eared Owl, Black-Backed Woodpecker, Downy Woodpecker, Loggerhead Shrike, Great Gray Shrike, Steller’s Jay, Western Scrub-Jay, Bullock’s Oriole, Lewis’s Woodpecker, Rufous Hummingbird, Peregrine Falcon, Lazuli Bunting, Black-Billed Magpie, Western Grebe, Eared Grebe, Clark’s Grebe, White-Throated Swift, Boreal Owl

  1. Illinois
The male Greater Prairie Chicken is a highly territorial bird that often defends his booming grounds. It's the place where he performs his display to attract females by inflating the air sacs on their neck. It's said that one or two of the most dominant males do 90% of the mating.

The male Greater Prairie Chicken is a highly territorial bird that often defends his booming grounds. It’s the place where he performs his display to attract females by inflating the air sacs on their neck. It’s said that one or two of the most dominant males do 90% of the mating.

Official State Bird: Northern Cardinal

Why It Sucks: Because the Northern Cardinal is the state bird for 7 states. That’s more than how many states have been home to Abraham Lincoln who spent most of his life there.

Best Candidate: Greater Prairie Chicken

Why: While it’s not as common in Illinois as the Northern Cardinal and only found in Southern Illinois, it’s nevertheless a rather unique bird to the state. They also kind of have a great combination of Springfield folksiness you’d associate with Lincoln as well as the badassery and rowdiness you’d associate with Chicago.

Other Options: Common Loon, White Breasted Nuthatch, Downy Woodpecker, Ruby Throated Hummingbird, Cedar Waxwing, Dark-Eyed Junco, Eastern Goldfinch, Great Horned Owl, American Kestrel, Dickcissel, Eastern Kingbird, Indigo Bunting, Red Wing Blackbird, Great Crested Flycatcher

  1. Indiana
The Bobolink is said to be one of the world's most impressive songbird migrants traveling some 12,500 miles from South America per year. In their lifetime it's said they may travel the equivalent of 4 or 5 times around the circumference of the earth. Also, while a male may mate with several females, each clutch of eggs laid by a single female may have multiple fathers.

The Bobolink is said to be one of the world’s most impressive songbird migrants traveling some 12,500 miles from South America per year. In their lifetime it’s said they may travel the equivalent of 4 or 5 times around the circumference of the earth. Also, while a male may mate with several females, each clutch of eggs laid by a single female may have multiple fathers.

Official State Bird: Northern Cardinal

Why It Sucks: As with Illinois, it’s the state bird of 7 states which is more than states claiming to be the home of Abraham Lincoln, who spent his later childhood and teenage years there.

Best Candidate: Bobolink

Why: Besides its awesome name and unique appearance, this is a much more unique bird to Indiana than the Northern Cardinal which is everywhere. Bobolinks are only prevalent in the Northeast and Midwest. Besides, it has an awesome color scheme.

Other Options: White-Breasted Nuthatch, Ruby-Throated Hummingbird, Brown-Headed Cowbird, Downy Woodpecker, Dark-Eyed Junco, Mourning Dove, Song Sparrow, Scarlet Tanager, Common Loon, American Kestrel, Blue Grosbeak, Indigo Bunting, Blue Grosbeak, Lincoln’s Sparrow, Purple Martin, Yellow-Headed Blackbird, Great Crested Flycatcher

  1. Iowa
The Dickcissel is a grassland bird that prefers the fields of the Midwest. The males are also said to have up to six mates but most usually have one or two.

The Dickcissel is a grassland bird that prefers the fields of the Midwest. The males are also said to have up to six mates but most usually have one or two.

Official State Bird: Eastern Goldfinch

Why It Sucks: Well, despite having a good reason for the Eastern Goldfinch, it’s also the state bird of New Jersey and Washington.

Best Candidate: Dickcissel

Why: Let’s face it, this is a unique bird in the Midwest and Iowa is a state best known for its agriculture. It also has a great unique name as well as polygynous mating habits, which is rare for a songbird. But it kind of fits well how Iowa was one of the first states to legalize gay marriage, a measure nobody expected.

Other Options: Red-Winged Blackbird, Greater Prairie Chicken, American Kestrel, Rough-Legged Hawk, Sharp-Shinned Hawk, Prairie Falcon, Red-Shouldered Hawk, Barn Owl, Tree Swallow, Cedar Waxwing, Mississippi Kite, Great Crested Flycatcher

  1. Kansas
The American Crow is a true survivor since it's highly adaptable, social, and intelligent that no matter how much humans want to kill them, they will keep coming. They're also known for traveling in family groups of up to 15 and contain young from 5 different years. They can sometimes make and use tools.

The American Crow is a true survivor since it’s highly adaptable, social, and intelligent that no matter how much humans want to kill them, they will keep coming. They’re also known for traveling in family groups of up to 15 and contain young from 5 different years. They can sometimes make and use tools.

Official State Bird:  Western Meadowlark

Why It Sucks: It’s the state bird of 6 states, including a couple of its neighbors.

Best Candidate: American Crow

Why: Because the American Crow is among one of the smartest and most underrated North American Birds. Not to mention, Kansas has dealt with a lot of crap during its history such as tornadoes, violent disputes over slavery, the Dust Bowl, terrible school boards, and Sam Brownback. The American Crow has been seen as a pest and there have been efforts to eliminate it. But still, it’s a very resilient and adaptable bird that also fulfills a key purpose like Kansas. So I think it’s one that represents Kansas the best. Besides, it’s about time the American Crow should be a state bird.

Other Options: Ruffed Grouse, Lesser Prairie Chicken, Northern Bobwhite, Scaled Quail, Mississippi Kite, Cooper’s Hawk, American Kestrel, Prairie Falcon, Barn Owl, Prairie Falcon, Dickcissel, Whooping Crane, Great Crested Flycatcher, Upland Sandpiper

  1. Kentucky
The Blue Grosbeak is a member of the same family as the Northern Cardinal even if you might not have heard of it. And since Kentucky is the Bluegrass State, perhaps this would make a more appropriate state bird. Just call it a

The Blue Grosbeak is a member of the same family as the Northern Cardinal even if you might not have heard of it. And since Kentucky is the Bluegrass State, perhaps this would make a more appropriate state bird. Just call it a “blue cardinal” because that’s what it pretty much is.

Official State Bird: Northern Cardinal

Why It Sucks: It’s the state bird of 7 states which is more than those who claim to be the Land of Lincoln. Of course, this was where Lincoln was born.

Best Candidate: Blue Grosbeak

Why: For one, it’s in the same family as the Northern Cardinal. Second, since Kentucky is known as “the Bluegrass State” it’s only fair that it should be represented by a bird with blue feathers. I think it’s a good compromise.

Other Options: Field Sparrow, Indigo Bunting, American Kestrel, Kentucky Warbler, Red-Headed Woodpecker, Downy Woodpecker, Tree Swallow, Blue Jay, Evening Grosbeak, Red-Winged Blackbird. American Crow, Purple Martin, Blue Grosbeak, American Kestrel, Great Crested Flycatcher

  1. Louisiana
Though the Brown Pelican is the Louisiana state bird, it doesn't spend a lot of time in the state nor does it appear on the state flag. However, the American While Pelican does as a winter visitor and the pelican on Louisiana's state flag is certainly white. So perhaps the Pelican State should try this pelican as their state bird instead.

Though the Brown Pelican is the Louisiana state bird, it doesn’t spend a lot of time in the state nor does it appear on the state flag. However, the American While Pelican does as a winter visitor and the pelican on Louisiana’s state flag is certainly white. So perhaps the Pelican State should try this pelican as their state bird instead.

Official State Bird: Brown Pelican

Why It Sucks: Well, this isn’t a bad state bird since Louisiana is known as “the Pelican State.” But it’s not an attractive bird. Also, it’s not even the pelican that appears on its state flag. Besides, it’s not a common bird in Louisiana.

Best Candidate: American White Pelican

Why: Because the pelican on the Louisiana State Flag is always white, not brown. To have the American White Pelican as its state bird would make much better sense. And unlike the Brown Pelican, it does spend time in Louisiana (though it doesn’t necessarily breed there).

Other Options: Common Loon, Great Blue Heron, Anhinga, Yellow-Crowned Night Heron, Wood Duck, Wood Stork, Double-Crested Cormorant, Green Heron, Great Egret, Snowy Egret, Tricolored Heron, Little Blue Heron, White Ibis, Glossy Ibis, Roseate Spoonbill, Purple Gallinule, Belted Kingfisher, Crested Caracara, Louisiana Waterthrush, Great Crested Flycatcher

  1. Maine
The Atlantic Puffin looks like the clown of the sea and its US breeding spot is off the coast of Maine. Its bright colors make it one of Maine's most popular birds that their nesting colonies have become significant tourist destinations for birdwatchers.

The Atlantic Puffin looks like the clown of the sea and its US breeding spot is off the coast of Maine. Its bright colors make it one of Maine’s most popular birds that their nesting colonies have become significant tourist destinations for birdwatchers.

Official State Bird: Black-Capped Chickadee

Why It Sucks: Has the same state bird as Massachusetts. It’s also a rather common American bird as well. It’s cute but Maine can do better.

Best Candidate: Atlantic Puffin

Why: It’s not a common bird in Maine (residing on 5 islands off the coast) but it has at least 2 things going for it, especially since attempts to restore it to its historical range have been successful in the state. For one, it’s one of Maine’s most popular birds that their nesting colonies have become significant tourist destinations for birdwatchers. There are even boating tours to see these birds during the summer. Second, it’s basically the only state in the US where these adorable Subarctic birds reside. Thus, while it’s adorable, it’s also one of the most unique birds in Maine.

Other Options: Snow Goose, Wood Duck, Spruce Grouse, Blue Jay, American Kestrel, Common Loon, Leach’s Storm Petrel, Great Blue Heron, Snowy Egret, Black Vulture, Osprey, Cooper’s Hawk, American Oystercatcher, Common Tern, Belted Kingfisher, Philadelphia Vireo, Common Raven, Purple Martin, White-Breasted Nuthatch, Cedar Waxwing, Seaside Sparrow, Red Wing Blackbird, Indigo Bunting, Acadian Flycatcher, Great Crested Flycatcher, Black-Throated Blue Warbler

  1. Maryland
Edgar Allan Poe might not have spent a lot of time in Baltimore but since he died under mysterious circumstances in 1849, he will always be associated with the state of Maryland. And since he's most famous for

Edgar Allan Poe might not have spent a lot of time in Baltimore but since he died under mysterious circumstances in 1849, he will always be associated with the state of Maryland. And since he’s most famous for “The Raven” so would the Common Raven. Not to mention, Maryland is home to the Baltimore Ravens but we’ll discuss Ray Lewis’s murder allegations nevermore.

Official State Bird: Baltimore Oriole

Why It Sucks: While it does make sense for Maryland to have this as their state bird as well as a name of Baltimore’s Major League Baseball team, there aren’t many in the state.

Best Candidate: Common Raven

Why: Aside from the Baltimore Oriole, this is the other bird identified with Maryland. Edgar Allan Poe is associated with the city of Baltimore despite the fact he only lived there for 2 years and dying there in 1849 under interesting circumstances. Nevertheless, he’s buried there though. He’s best known for his poem, “The Raven” from where the Baltimore Ravens get their name (though they were previously the Cleveland Browns before moving there). Sure it might not be a common bird in the state, but it’s a rather significant one due to its connection to Poe and American Literature. Besides, more people are familiar with Poe’s “The Raven” than Lord Baltimore.

Other Options: Osprey, Barnacle Goose, Hooded Merganser, Common Loon, Great Blue Heron, Green Heron, Great Egret, Wood Stork, American Kestrel, Cooper’s Hawk, Killdeer, Royal Tern, Ruby-Throated Hummingbird, Belted Kingfisher, Red-Headed Woodpecker, Blue Jay, American Crow, Rose-Breasted Grosbeak, Red Wing Blackbird, American Oystercatcher, Orchard Oriole, Eastern Kingbird, Northern Shrike, Great Crested Flycatcher

  1. Massachusetts
Since Massachusetts was the site of the First Thanksgiving, I thought it would only be appropriate that its state bird be the Wild Turkey. Of course, unlike their domesticated counterparts, they're actually quite smart as well as agile flyers. However, they usually can't fly higher than a quarter mile.

Since Massachusetts was the site of the First Thanksgiving, I thought it would only be appropriate that its state bird be the Wild Turkey. Of course, unlike their domesticated counterparts, they’re actually quite smart as well as agile flyers. However, they usually can’t fly higher than a quarter mile.

Official State Bird: Black-Capped Chickadee

Why It Sucks: Has the same state bird as Maine. Cute but Massachusetts can do better.

Best Candidate: Wild Turkey

Why: For one, it’s the Massachusetts state game bird so it probably has reasonable appeal as a state symbol. Second, like Massachusetts, it’s associated with Thanksgiving, an American national holiday. Third, it was even recommended as a national symbol by Benjamin Franklin who was a native of Boston. Let’s just say between this bird and the Black-Capped Chickadee, the Wild Turkey is a more appropriate choice for Massachusetts’ state bird.

Other Options: Kirtland’s Warbler, Piping Plover, Blue Jay, Chimney Swift, Orchard Oriole, Cedar Waxwing, Brown-Headed Cowbird, Dark-Eyed Junco, Great Blue Heron, Common Loon, Leach’s Storm Petrel, Snowy Egret, Little Blue Heron, American Kestrel, Cooper’s Hawk, Norther Goshawk, Red-Tailed Hawk, Red-Shouldered Hawk, American Oystercatcher, Laughing Gull, Roseate Tern, Barn Owl, Great Horned Owl, Ruby-Throated Hummingbird, Belted Kingfisher, Common Tern, Red Wing Blackbird, White-Breasted Nuthatch, Fish Crow, Herring Gull, Great Crested Flycatcher, Black-Throated Blue Warbler

  1. Michigan
Kirtland's Warbler is a rare bird of Michigan's jack pine forests. It depends on fire to provide small trees and open areas meeting its nesting requirements. Yes, this bird really hates Smoky the Bear's guts.

Kirtland’s Warbler is a rare bird of Michigan’s jack pine forests. It depends on fire to provide small trees and open areas meeting its nesting requirements. Yes, this bird really hates Smoky the Bear’s guts.

Official State Bird: American Robin

Why It Sucks: It’s the state bird in 3 states in the country. Time for Michigan to find a new state bird. Besides, it’s a very common bird anyway when the state can do better.

Best Candidate: Kirtland’s Warbler

Why: For one it’s a bird that pretty much resides in this state which was almost extinct nearly 50 years ago, but they’ve made a recovery. It’s now classified as Near Threatened. Also, it has a community college named after it. Still, it would be a better bird than the American Robin.

Other Options: Wood Duck, Common Loon, American Kestrel, Red Wing Blackbird, Green-Tailed Towhee, American Tree Sparrow, Cape May Warbler, Cedar Waxwing, Great Blue Heron, Purple Martin, Barn Swallow, Cave Swallow, Blue Jay, American Crow, Northern Shrike, Eastern Kingbird, Downy Woodpecker, Belted Kingfisher, Ruby-Throated Hummingbird, Barn Owl, Killdeer, Red-Tailed Hawk, White-Breasted Nuthatch, Dark-Eyed Junco, Cooper’s Hawk, Herring Gull, Great Crested Flycatcher, Black Tern, Sandhill Crane, Upland Sandpiper

  1. Minnesota
Minnesota has the highest remaining density of the Golden-Winged Warbler. In fact, it's home to about half its global population. However, these birds have also experienced one of the steepest declines of any songbird species in the last 45 years.

Minnesota has the highest remaining density of the Golden-Winged Warbler. In fact, it’s home to about half its global population. However, these birds have also experienced one of the steepest declines of any songbird species in the last 45 years.

Official State Bird: Common Loon

Why It Sucks: Well, the Common Loon is a nice bird. But it usually resides more often in Michigan than Minnesota (even if the latter has a lot of lakes) as well as winters on the American Coast. Minnesota may be in the Great Lakes region but it’s more of an inland state.

Best Candidate: Golden-Winged Warbler

Why: For one, it’s more common in Minnesota than the Common Loon. Second, it’s known to breed in this state as well as in Wisconsin. Still, it may not be a Common Loon but it’s a rather magnificent and more appropriate bird for the state.

Other Options: Sedge Wren, Greater Prairie Chicken, Ruffed Grouse, Sharp-Tailed Grouse, Green Heron, Cooper’s Hawk, American Kestrel, Common Gallinule, Killdeer, Parasitic Jaeger, Barn Owl, Great Horned Owl, Black-Backed Woodpecker, Northern Goshawk, Piping Plover, Common Tern, Common Redpoll, Blue Jay, Rose-Breasted Grosbeak, Black-Capped Chickadee, Wood Duck, Scarlet Tanager, Great Blue Heron, Blackburnian Warbler, Indigo Bunting, Osprey, Great Crested Flycatcher, Ruffed Grouse, Trumpeter Swan, Double-Crested Cormorant, Black Tern, Upland Sandpiper

  1. Mississippi
The Great Blue Heron is a majestic sight whether poised on a river or cruising a coastline with slow, deep, wingbeats. Though it may seem motionless and slow moving at times, it can strike like lightning to grab a fish or snap a gopher. Can also hunt at night or day.

The Great Blue Heron is a majestic sight whether poised on a river or cruising a coastline with slow, deep, wingbeats. Though it may seem motionless and slow moving at times, it can strike like lightning to grab a fish or snap a gopher. Can also hunt at night or day.

Official State Bird: Northern Mockingbird

Why It Sucks: It’s the state bird of 5 states in the country. I’m sure Mississippi has a more diverse bird population that it could do better.

Best Candidate: Great Blue Heron

Why: Let’s just say it’s a prevalent bird in the Mississippi and the Great Egret is already a symbol for The Audubon Society. Mississippi is also known to have wetlands and waterways which the Great Blue Heron is well suited for. Besides, it’s a better state bird choice than the Northern Mockingbird.

Other Options: Wood Duck, Great Egret, Yellow-Breasted Chat, Downy Woodpecker, Red-Bellied Woodpecker, Yellow-Rumped Warbler, Eastern Towhee, Blue Jay, Cedar Waxwing, Herring Gull, American Crow, American Coot, Rose-Breasted Grosbeak, Belted Kingfisher, Mississippi Kite, Killdeer, Anhinga, Great Crested Flycatcher

  1. Missouri
The American Kestrel is the smallest falcon of North America. Yet, it packs a predator's intensity into its small body. It can also see ultraviolet light and hide surplus kills to save food in lean times and conceal it from thieves.

The American Kestrel is the smallest falcon of North America. Yet, it packs a predator’s intensity into its small body. It can also see ultraviolet light and hide surplus kills to save food in lean times and conceal it from thieves.

Official State Bird: Eastern Bluebird

Why It Sucks: Shares the same state bird as New York. And it’s not as common as you might think due to having to compete with invasive species like sparrows and starlings.

Best Candidate: American Kestrel

Why: Missouri has often been in the middle of a lot of stuff during its history. It was a border state during the antebellum years as well as the starting point in the Oregon Trail. It had residents fight on both sides during the American Civil War and was the home of Quantrill’s Raiders (that included the James brothers). Besides, it has a reputation as a bellwether state and is home to a lot of wildlife diversity. And since the American Kestrel is a common bird of prey that lives in a variety of habitats as well as resides in the state year round, I can’t think of better bird to represent the state. Not to mention, it’s known to be quite feisty like Missouri native Harry Truman.

Other Options: Northern Cardinal, Wood Duck, Blue Jay, Easter Whippoorwill, Henslow’s Sparrow, Black-Crowned Night Heron, Great Blue Heron, Osprey, Cooper’s Hawk, American Coot, Tufted Titmouse, Downy Woodpecker, Hairy Woodpecker, Red-Tailed Hawk, Red-Bellied Woodpecker, Red Wing Blackbird, Barn Owl, Purple Martin, Great Crested Flycatcher

  1. Montana
McCown's Longspur is the songbird of the barren ground in the Great Plains such as short grass prairies and overgrazed pastures. The male is known to maintain its territory through aerial displays.

McCown’s Longspur is the songbird of the barren ground in the Great Plains such as short grass prairies and overgrazed pastures. The male is known to maintain its territory through aerial displays.

Official State Bird: Western Meadowlark

Why It Sucks: For one, it’s a state bird of 6 states. Besides, Montana is the home to a lot of birds as well, which doesn’t give it much of an excuse.

Best Candidate: McCown’s Longspur

Why: Because it mostly breeds in this state during the summer (along with Wyoming). They also are known for characteristic aerial and song displays. It’s a more unique bird to the state than the Western Meadowlark.

Other Options: Vesper Sparrow, Long-Tailed Duck, Greater Sage Grouse, Dusky Grouse, Cooper’s Hawk, Red-Tailed Hawk, Northern Goshawk, Ferruginous Hawk, Great Horned Owl, Flammulated Owl, Western Screech-Owl, Barred Owl, Long-Eared Owl, Great Gray Owl, Calliope Hummingbird, Steller’s Jay, Western Scrub Jay, Clark’s Nutcracker, Black-Billed Magpie, American Kestrel, Merlin, Prairie Falcon, American Crow, Bullock’s Oriole, Sharp-Shinned Hawk, Townsend’s Solitaire, Pinyon Jay, Cedar Waxwing, Sprauge’s Pipit, Cassin’s Kingbird, Lazuli Bunting, Trumpeter Swan, Western Grebe, Eared Grebe, Double-Crested Cormorant, Mountain Plover, Upland Sandpiper, Boreal Owl

  1. Nebraska
The Sandhill Crane may only be a migratory visitor to Nebraska. But from February to April each year, 500,000 of them return to feed at Nebraska's Platte River as one of the largest congregation of birds of North America. Such event attracts 12,000 to 15,000 tourists and there's even a Crane festival in March.

The Sandhill Crane may only be a migratory visitor to Nebraska. But from February to April each year, 500,000 of them return to feed at Nebraska’s Platte River as one of the largest congregation of birds of North America. Such event attracts 12,000 to 15,000 tourists and there’s even a Crane festival in March.

Official State Bird: Western Meadowlark

Why It Sucks: It’s a state bird of 6 states. Time for Nebraska to find something else to represent their state.

Best Candidate: Sandhill Crane

Why: Because 500,000 of these birds return to Nebraska’s Platte River every year around February to April. However, it’s one of the largest bird congregation spectacle in North America which brings between 12,000 and 15,000 people to the area each year. There’s even a crane festival in March.

Other Options: Greater Prairie Chicken, Red-Tailed Hawk, Whooping Crane, Killdeer, Blue Jay, Piping Plover, Bobolink, Least Tern, Harris’s Sparrow, Great Crested Flycatcher, White-Fronted Goose, Mallard Duck, Northern Pintail, Lesser Snow Goose, Black-Billed Magpie, Upland Sandpiper

  1. Nevada
The Greater Sage-Grouse may only inhabit northern Nevada. But I'm sure the male of this species looks like he's straight from Las Vegas.

The Greater Sage-Grouse may only inhabit northern Nevada. But I’m sure the male of this species looks like he’s straight from Las Vegas.

Official State Bird: Mountain Bluebird

Why It Sucks: It shares the same state bird with Idaho. Besides, Nevada could at least have more showy bird than that. I mean Nevada is famous for tackiness, sin, vice, gambling, quickie divorces, marrying under the influence, materialism, prostitution, atomic testing, and other crazy things. The state bird should reflect that. And the Mountain Bluebird doesn’t really hold a candle to that since it’s too nice.

Best Candidate: Greater Sage Grouse

Why: Despite being more abundant in Wyoming, this is the perfect state bird for Nevada. For one, it inhabits the northern part of state year round. Secondly, the male of the species looks as if you’d expect it to come out of Las Vegas. Not to mention, it has a rather elaborate mating ritual.

Other Options: White-Faced Ibis, Dusky Grouse, Sooty Grouse, Turkey Vulture, Common Black-Hawk, Sharp-Shinned Hawk, Mountain Plover, Greater Roadrunner, Long-Eared Owl, Great Horned Owl, Great Gray Owl, Gila Woodpecker, Lewis’s Woodpecker, Black-Billed Magpie, Western Scrub-Jay, Clark’s Nutcracker, Western Tanager, Red Wing Blackbird, Great-Tailed Grackle, Bullock’s Oriole, Brewer’s Blackbird, Evening Grosbeak, Juniper Titmouse, Calliope Hummingbird, Lazuli Bunting, Eared Grebe, Clark’s Grebe, American Dipper

  1. New Hampshire
The Red-Tailed Hawk is the most common hawk of North America. It is a large sharp-taloned bird that can be aggressive when defending their nests and territories. When courting, these birds fly with their legs beneath them, sometimes locking talons. Mated pairs typically stay together until one of them dies.

The Red-Tailed Hawk is the most common hawk of North America. It is a large sharp-taloned bird that can be aggressive when defending their nests and territories. When courting, these birds fly with their legs beneath them, sometimes locking talons. Mated pairs typically stay together until one of them dies.

Official State Bird: Purple Finch

Why It Sucks: For one, it’s not really purple. Second, the male’s plumage of Neapolitan ice cream getting all mixed up. Third, it’s kind of ugly to say the least.

Best Candidate: Red-Tailed Hawk

Why: Face it, there was a group of 4th graders who wanted it to be their state raptor. Their proposal was turned down in the New Hampshire State Legislature in front of their faces. I think it would be best if the legislature reconvened and named this their state bird instead of the Purple Finch. Besides, its feathers were seen as sacred by many Native American tribes Not only that, but they’re really cool to say the least. Has all kinds of subspecies and morphs, too. Yeah, the Red-Tailed Hawk is awesome and it should be a state bird.

Other Options: Black-Capped Chickadee, American Redstart, Purple Martin, American Crow, Blue Jay, Cedar Waxwing, Eastern Goldfinch, Common Grackle, Cooper’s Hawk, White-Breasted Nuthatch, Tufted Titmouse, Killdeer, American Oystercatcher, Osprey, Black-Throated Blue Warbler

  1. New Jersey
The Black Skimmer's remarkable bill sets it apart from all other American birds. Its large red and black bill is knife thin and the lower manible is longer than the upper. The bird drags the lower bill through the water as it flies through the water it flies along, hoping to catch a small fish.

The Black Skimmer’s remarkable bill sets it apart from all other American birds. Its large red and black bill is knife thin and the lower manible is longer than the upper. The bird drags the lower bill through the water as it flies through the water it flies along, hoping to catch a small fish.

Official State Bird: Eastern Goldfinch

Why It Sucks: Shares the same state bird with Iowa and Washington. Also, doesn’t really live up to New Jersey’s reputation if you know what I mean. Besides, it has a better birding acclaim and can do better.

Best Candidate: Black Skimmer

Why: For one, despite New Jersey’s reputation, at least the state is doing something to conserve this bird’s population in its breeding range on the Jersey Shore. Second, you can joke by how this bird’s name describes a lot of New Jersey’s politicians since it has a horrible reputation for corruption.

Other Options: Seaside Sparrow, Wood Duck, Greater Scaup, Hooded Merganser, Pie-Billed Grebe, Northern Gannet, Great Blue Heron, Great Egret, Green Heron, Glossy Ibis, Osprey, Cooper’s Hawk, Sharp-Shinned Hawk, Peregrine Falcon, American Kestrel, Common Gallinule, Killdeer, Piping Plover, American Oystercatcher, Laughing Gull, Roseate Tern, Black Tern, Royal Tern, Long-Eared Owl, Eastern Screech Owl, Ruby-Throated Hummingbird, Belted Kingfisher, Purple Martin, Cedar Waxwing, Great Crested Flycatcher, Fish Crow, Herring Gull, Black-Throated Blue Warbler

  1. New Mexico
The Steller's Jay moves around with bold hops of their long legs, both on the ground and on the spokelike main branches of conifers. It also has incredible spatial memories as well as rob caches and nests of other birds. They are very social and can sometimes join mixed species flocks. Not to mention, it can keep up a running commentary on events as well as instigate mobbing of predators and other dangerous intruders.

The Steller’s Jay moves around with bold hops of their long legs, both on the ground and on the spokelike main branches of conifers. It also has incredible spatial memories as well as rob caches and nests of other birds. They are very social and can sometimes join mixed species flocks. Not to mention, it can keep up a running commentary on events as well as instigate mobbing of predators and other dangerous intruders.

Official State Bird: Roadrunner

Why It Sucks: Now this is an appropriate state bird. However, I’m sure there are people in this state who aren’t pleased because they’re fans of Wiley Coyote. Perhaps New Mexico should be represented by a less controversial bird.

Best Candidate: Steller’s Jay

Why: First, it appears in most of New Mexico all year round. Second, its colorful feathers help reflect the state’s vibrant art culture that’s replete with Mexican and Southwest Native American influences. Nevertheless, it’s a very beautiful bird for a state like New Mexico.

Other Options: Chihuahuan Raven, Scaled Quail, Turkey Vulture, Zone-Tailed Hawk, Ferruginous Hawk, Cooper’s Hawk, Hen Harrier, Swainson’s Hawk, Long-Eared Owl, Great Horned Owl, White-Eared Hummingbird, Black-Chinned Hummingbird, Anna’s Hummingbird, Broad-Tailed Hummingbird, Gila Woodpecker, Western Scrub-Jay, Clark’s Nutcracker, Evening Grosbeak, Bullock’s Oriole, Red Wing Blackbird, Green-Tailed Towhee, American Dipper, Indigo Bunting, Mountain Plover, White-Throated Swift, Acorn Woodpecker, Aplomado Falcon

  1. New York
The Peregrine Falcon is the fastest animal in the world flying over 200 mph during its characteristic hunting stoop. It's also among the most widespread, seen in almost every place on earth except extreme polar regions, very high mountains, most tropical rain forests, and New Zealand.

The Peregrine Falcon is the fastest animal in the world flying over 200 mph during its characteristic hunting stoop. It’s also among the most widespread, seen in almost every place on earth except extreme polar regions, very high mountains, most tropical rain forests, and New Zealand.

Official State Bird: Eastern Bluebird

Why It Sucks: It shares the same state bird as Missouri. Not to mention, it’s not an appropriate bird to represent the state.

Best Candidate: Peregrine Falcon

Why: For one, New York was a leading state that helped restore its population after it was nearly depleted by DDT and other pesticide. Second, it’s practically the fastest animal on earth with a speed of over 200 mph. Third, it’s a very adaptable bird that has resided almost everywhere. Besides, as a city bird, they are highly beneficial to the ecosystem, especially when it comes to controlling the feral pigeon population, which are outright pests.

Other Options: Cerulean Warbler, Ring-Billed Gull, Wood Duck, Blue-Winged Teal, Common Goldeneye, Hooded Merganser, Common Loon, Double-Breasted Cormorant, Herring Gull, Great Egret, Great Blue Heron, Black-Crowned Night Heron, Yellow-Crowned Night Heron, Glossy Ibis, Cooper’s Hawk, Sharp-Shinned Hawk, American Kestrel, Blue Jay, Red-Tailed Hawk, Golden Eagle, Laughing Gull, Herring Gull, Great Black-Backed Gull, Roseate Tern, Barn Owl, Great Horned Owl, Eastern Screech Owl, Long-Eared Owl, Northern Saw-Whet Owl, Ruby-Throated Hummingbird, Red-Headed Woodpecker, Downy Woodpecker, Pileated Woodpecker, Eastern Kingbird, Loggerhead Shrike, American Crow, Common Raven, Purple Martin, Tree Swallow, Cedar Waxwing, Prothonotary Warbler, Ruby-Throated Hummingbird, Loggerhead Shrike, Horned Lark, Cape May Warbler, Great Crested Flycatcher, Black-Throated Blue Warbler

  1. North Carolina
The Ruby-throated Hummingbird is the only breeding hummingbird in eastern North America. But in terms of area, it occupies the largest breeding range in the continent. Still, it's said that people in North Carolina love this little hummingbird that many put hummingbird feeders to watch them.

The Ruby-throated Hummingbird is the only breeding hummingbird in eastern North America. But in terms of area, it occupies the largest breeding range in the continent. Still, it’s said that people in North Carolina love this little hummingbird that many put hummingbird feeders to watch them.

Official State Bird: Northern Cardinal

Why It Sucks: It’s the state bird of 7 states. Yes, it’s common and it’s pretty. But still, it’s used to represent 7 states, which means it’s time for a more appropriate state bird.

Best Candidate: Ruby-Throated Hummingbird

Why: Because it’s one of the most loved birds of the state that many people put up hummingbird feeders to watch them. Besides, it’s a beautiful bird in its own right that fits well on a postcard and it’s about time that it should be a state bird. Not to mention, it’s a way better choice than the Northern Cardinal.

Other Options: Carolina Wren, Prothonotary Warbler, Royal Tern, Carolina Chickadee, Wood Duck, Hooded Merganser, Bufflehead, Common Loon, Audubon’s Shearwater, Leach’s Storm Petrel, Brown Pelican, American White Pelican, Double-Breasted Cormorant, Anhinga, Great Cormorant, Great Egret, Great Blue Heron, Little Blue Heron, Green Heron, Snowy Egret, American White Ibis, Black Skimmer, Herring Gull, Eastern Whippoorwill, Belted Kingfisher, Pileated Woodpecker, Downy Woodpecker, Eastern Kingbird, Loggerhead Shrike, Cedar Waxwing, Blue Jay, American Crow, Purple Martin, Tree Swallow, Red Wing Blackbird, Brown Thrasher, Eastern Towhee, White-Breasted Nuthatch, Red-Shouldered Hawk, Cerulean Warbler, Great Crested Flycatcher

  1. North Dakota
The Blue-Winged Teal is among the latest ducks to migrate northward in the spring, and one of the first to migrate southward in the fall. They can also migrate long distances with some going all the way from Canada to South America. And since North Dakota is known as America's duck nursery, it would make an appropriate state bird.

The Blue-Winged Teal is among the latest ducks to migrate northward in the spring, and one of the first to migrate southward in the fall. They can also migrate long distances with some going all the way from Canada to South America. And since North Dakota is known as America’s duck nursery, it would make an appropriate state bird.

Official State Bird: Western Meadowlark

Why It Sucks: It’s the state bird of 6 states. North Dakota needs something more original since it’s said to be quite famous for its birds, particularly its ducks.

Best Candidate: Blue-Winged Teal

Why: For one, it’s one of the more common ducks in North Dakota and not in the nation (which is obviously the Mallard). Second, the state is famous among birders and hunters as America’s duck nursery. So it only makes sense that North Dakota should have a duck as its state bird.

Other Options: Nelson’s Sparrow, Chestnut-Collared Longspur, Wood Duck, American Wigeon, American Black Duck, Northern Pintail, Greater Scaup, Common Loon, Ruffed Grouse, Red-Tailed Hawk, Cooper’s Hawk, Red-Shouldered Hawk, Broad-Winged Hawk, Ferruginous Hawk, Prairie Falcon, Gyrfalcon, Bufflehead, Hooded Merganser, Great Horned Owl, Barred Owl, Red-Headed Woodpecker, Northern Shrike, Clark’s Nutcracker, Rose-Breasted Grosbeak, Bobolink, American Avocet, Yellow-Headed Blackbird, Baird’s Sparrow, Ruddy Duck, Black-Billed Magpie, Western Grebe, Eared Grebe, Double-Crested Cormorant, Upland Sandpiper

  1. Ohio
Since the Cleveland Browns decided to high tail it to Baltimore and change their name to the Ravens, I think it's only fair that Ohio gets to use the Baltimore Oriole as its state bird. From now on, it'll be known as the

Since the Cleveland Browns decided to high tail it to Baltimore and change their name to the Ravens, I think it’s only fair that Ohio gets to use the Baltimore Oriole as its state bird. From now on, it’ll be known as the “Cleveland Oriole.”

Official State Bird: Northern Cardinal

Why It Sucks: It’s the state bird of 7 states so yeah, which is as many as Ohio has presidents born there. Ohio needs a new and more original state bird.

Best Candidate: Baltimore Oriole

Why: For one, it has a similar color scheme as the Cincinnati Bengals to some extent. Second, it’s more common in Ohio than Maryland as well as well-loved there. And third, since Baltimore already took Cleveland’s football team and won 2 Super Bowls, I kind of thought it was only fair for Ohio to take Maryland’s current state bird as fair compensation. So in Ohio, this bird will now be called the “Cleveland Oriole.”

Other Options: Willow Flycatcher, Cerulean Warbler, Blue-Winged Warbler, Ruffed Grouse, Indigo Bunting, Red-Tailed Hawk, Northern Bobwhite, American Kestrel, Killdeer, Mourning Dove, Black-Billed Cuckoo, Yellow-Billed Cuckoo, Great Horned Owl, Eastern Screech Owl, Barred Owl, Common Nighthawk, Chimney Swift, Whippoorwill, Red-Headed Woodpecker, Ruby-Throated Hummingbird, Downy Woodpecker, Red-Bellied Woodpecker, Hairy Woodpecker, Northern Flicker, Pileated Woodpecker, Eastern Wood Pewee, Acadian Flycatcher, Easter Kingbird, Blue-Headed Vireo, Blue Jay, American Crow, Horned Lark, Purple Martin, Barn Swallow, White-Breasted Nuthatch, Tufted Titmouse, Blue-Gray Gnatcatcher, Cedar Waxwing, Northern Parula, Scarlet Tanager, Eastern Towhee, Rose-Breasted Grosbeak, Blue Grosbeak, Dickissel, Bobolink, Red Wing Blackbird, Common Grackle, Great Crested Flycatcher

  1. Oklahoma
The male Painted Bunting is said to be the most beautiful bird in North America. Unfortunately, this doesn't stop it from being captured as a caged bird during its wintering in Central America. Now the species is Near Threatened.

The male Painted Bunting is said to be the most beautiful bird in North America. Unfortunately, this doesn’t stop it from being captured as a caged bird during its wintering in Central America. Now the species is Near Threatened.

Official State Bird: Scissor-Tailed Flycatcher

Why It Sucks: Well, it’s a unique and interesting bird. But I’m not sure about its feathers which are kind of drab. Besides, Oklahoma can do better.

Best Candidate: Painted Bunting

Why: It is said to be the most beautiful bird in North America and it breeds in this state. Though difficult to find due to a declining population because of people in Central America, Mexico, and Cuba selling them as pets during their migration, Oklahoma is one of 4 states to have a significant population. Still, it’s a truly beautiful bird that should be on a postage stamp.

Other Options: Northern Bobwhite, Eastern Meadowlark, Mississippi Kite, Common Grackle, Cooper’s Hawk, Red-Shouldered Hawk, Lesser Prairie Chicken, Scaled Quail, Northern Harrier, Sharp-Shinned Hawk, Broad-Winged Hawk, Prairie Falcon, Common Gallinule, Barn Owl, Black-Billed Cuckoo, Greater Roadrunner, Great Horned Owl, Long-Eared Owl, Red-Headed Woodpecker, Golden-Fronted Woodpecker, Red-Bellied Woodpecker, Downy Woodpecker, Great Crested Flycatcher, Loggerhead Shrike, Purple Martin, Cedar Waxwing, Blue Grosbeak, Indigo Bunting, Red Wing Blackbird

  1. Oregon
Now the American Dipper might not look any more than a stocky gray bird. But as North America's only songbird, it has an extra eyelid to see underwater. It's also known for its domed, ball-like nest near waterways.

Now the American Dipper might not look any more than a stocky gray bird. But as North America’s only songbird, it has an extra eyelid to see underwater. It’s also known for its domed, ball-like nest near waterways.

Official State Bird: Western Meadowlark

Why It Sucks: It’s the state bird of 6 states. This means that Oregon needs a new state bird. Surely the state has more original avian wildlife than that.

Best Candidate: American Dipper

Why: It’s a mountain bird known to inhabit streams as well as the only aquatic songbird of North America. Its presence indicates good water quality as well as possesses a sweet song. Not to mention, their nests are some of the most extraordinary pieces of bird architecture ever. And like Oregon, it may not look very noteworthy but there are some things about it that make it quite interesting.

Other Options: Red-Breasted Nuthatch, Spotted Owl, Trumpeter Swan, Tufted Duck, Greater Sage Grouse, Columbian Sharp-Tailed Grouse, Mountain Quail, Western Grebe, Western Scrub-Jay, Dark-Eyed Junco, Northern Fulmar, Green Heron, Green-Tailed Towhee, Spotted Towhee, Rose-Breasted Grosbeak, Black-Headed Grosbeak, Lazuli Bunting, White-Tailed Kite, Yellow-Headed Blackbird, Gray-Crowned Rosy Finch, Swainson’s Hawk, Ferruginous Hawk, Prairie Falcon, Heerman’s Gull, Mew Gull, Ring-Billed Gull, Western Gull, Thayer’s Gull, Sabine’s Gull, Tufted Puffin, Flammulated Owl, Western Screech-Owl, Great Horned Owl, Anna’s Hummingbird, Calliope Hummingbird, Rufous Hummingbird, Red-Breasted Sapsucker, Pacific-Slope Flycatcher, Black Phoebe, Allen’s Hummingbird, Western Kingbird, Steller’s Jay, Pinyon Jay, Black-Billed Magpie, Violet-Green Swallow

  1. Pennsylvania
The Indigo Bunting is said to migrate at night, using the stars for guidance. It's also said to possess an internal clock, enabling it to adjust their angle orientation to a star, even as that star moves through the night sky.

The Indigo Bunting is said to migrate at night, using the stars for guidance. It’s also said to possess an internal clock, enabling it to adjust their angle orientation to a star, even as that star moves through the night sky.

Official State Bird: Ruffed Grouse

Why It Sucks: As a native and lifelong resident of Pennsylvania, I have never seen this bird in my life. And I’m a rural resident as well as lived in this state for 25 years. Nor do I know anyone who has seen them in this state. Besides, it’s said that only 86% of these birds live in Canada. Guess they were all killed by hunters.

Best Candidate: Indigo Bunting

Why: For one, it’s one of the more common nester in Pennsylvania and has been seen in recent years almost everywhere in the state. Second, it has a distinctive sound as well as a bright blue feather display for the males (well, their feathers reflect as blue like the sky in good lighting. In poor lighting, they look black). Third, it’s a bird that’s more or less confined to the Eastern United States during its breeding season. Besides, it’s a more beautiful bird than the Ruffed Grouse.

Other Options: Scarlet Tanager, Black-Throated Blue Warbler, Downy Woodpecker, Tufted Titmouse, White-Breasted Nuthatch, Common Grackle, Blue Jay, Red Wing Blackbird, Yellow Warbler, Common Yellowthroat, Northern Harrier, Great Blue Heron, Osprey, Red-Shouldered Hawk, Gray Catbird, Red-Headed Woodpecker, American Kestrel, Red-Tailed Hawk, Cooper’s Hawk, Peregrine Falcon, Killdeer, Red-Bellied Woodpecker, Eastern Screech-Owl, Ruby-Throated Hummingbird, Pileated Woodpecker, Rose-Breasted Grosbeak, Eastern Kingbird, Bobolink, Great Crested Flycatcher, Philadelphia Vireo, Blue-Headed Vireo, Barred Owl, Eastern Towhee, Purple Martin, Snow Bunting, Blue Grosbeak, Dickcissel, Cerulean Warbler, Hooded Warbler

  1. Rhode Island
Rhode Island may be a small state, but it's part of the summer breeding range of the Great Black-Backed Gull, which is the largest gull in the world. As one earl observer noted, “It surely seemed to be a king among the gulls, a merciless tyrant over its fellows, the largest and strongest of its tribe. No weaker gull dared to intrude upon its feudal domain.”

Rhode Island may be a small state, but it’s part of the summer breeding range of the Great Black-Backed Gull, which is the largest gull in the world. As one earl observer noted, “It surely seemed to be a king among the gulls, a merciless tyrant over its fellows, the largest and strongest of its tribe. No weaker gull dared to intrude upon its feudal domain.”

Official State Bird: Rhode Island Red

Why It Sucks: To put a short story short, it’s a freaking breed of chicken for God’s sake. Seriously, it’s unconscionable like Delaware’s.

Best Candidate: Great Black-Backed Gull

Why: It’s the largest gull in Rhode Island as well as a year-long resident in the state. And since Rhode Island is known for its beaches, it should only be fitting it be represented by a sea gull. Besides, it’s better than having a chicken as state bird.

Other Options: Herring Gull, Snow Bunting, Cedar Waxwing, Red-Bellied Woodpecker, Common Redpoll, White-Throated Sparrow, Northern Harrier, Purple Sandpiper, Ivory Gull, Common Grackle, Blue Jay, Laughing Gull, Gull-Billed Tern, Brown Noddy, Band-Rumped Storm Petrel, Killdeer, American Oystercatcher, American Black Duck

  1. South Carolina
A rare bird, the Red-Cockaded Woodpecker lives in the mature pine forests of the American South. While it pecks on wood like most woodpeckers, it specifically seeks living pines with red heart fungal disease. Such specificity of its habitat makes it extremely vulnerable to habitat loss.

A rare bird, the Red-Cockaded Woodpecker lives in the mature pine forests of the American South. While it pecks on wood like most woodpeckers, it specifically seeks living pines with red heart fungal disease. Such specificity of its habitat makes it extremely vulnerable to habitat loss.

Official State Bird: Carolina Wren

Why It Sucks: Well, it’s better than having a Northern Mockingbird which they used to have. Besides, it has “Carolina” in it. However, it’s kind of drab and found almost everywhere in the east.

Best Candidate: Red-Cockaded Woodpecker

Why: South Carolina is the best place to look for this rare species since it lives in cavities in mature pine forests. It’s listed as vulnerable. Besides, it’s prettier than the Carolina Wren.

Other Options: Audubon’s Shearwater, Brown Pelican, Wood Stork, American Black Vulture, Swallow-Tailed Kite, Mississippi Kite, Purple Gallinule, Killdeer, American Oystercatcher, Black-Necked Stilt, Carolina Chickadee, Brown Noddy, Royal Tern, Eastern Kingbird, Loggerhead Shrike, Great Crested Flycatcher, Pine Warbler, Summer Tanager, Indigo Bunting, Painted Bunting, Boat-Tailed Grackle

  1. South Dakota
The Upland Sandpiper is a shorebird of grasslands, preferring the open grassy areas of the Great Plains. Hunting and loss of habitat have caused its population to decline since the 19th century.

The Upland Sandpiper is a shorebird of grasslands, preferring the open grassy areas of the Great Plains. Hunting and loss of habitat have caused its population to decline since the 19th century.

Official State Bird: Ring-Necked Pheasant

Why It Sucks: In short, it’s an introduced Eurasian Plains bird. It was brought over to the US by English settlers who wanted to bring some old country bird to shoot at.

Best Candidate: Upland Sandpiper

Why: While most sandpipers usually favor the coast and mudflats, this bird prefers open country with tall grasses. South Dakota is in the Great Plains which is known for its grassland and prairies. Clearly these two are meant for each other. May not be as flashy as the Ring-Necked Pheasant but at least it’s a native.

Other Options: Sharp-Tailed Grouse, Blue-Winged Teal, Common Loon, Red-Tailed Hawk, Pied-Bill Grebe, Eared Grebe, Western Grebe, Lazuli Bunting, Greater Prairie Chicken, Ferruginous Hawk, Swainson’s Hawk, Downy Woodpecker

  1. Tennessee
The Wood Duck is one of the most colorful and stunningly beautiful waterfowl of North America. It is a perching duck that nests in trees or nesting boxes if available. And these nesting boxes have helped increased its breeding population, especially in Tennessee.

The Wood Duck is one of the most colorful and stunningly beautiful waterfowl of North America. It is a perching duck that nests in trees or nesting boxes if available. And these nesting boxes have helped increased its breeding population, especially in Tennessee.

Official State Bird: Northern Mockingbird

Why It Sucks: It’s the state bird of 5 states including Florida and Texas. Seriously, Tennessee needs a new state bird.

Best Candidate: Wood Duck

Why: Well, I think it provides a perfect combination for what Tennessee represents. It’s rustic enough for the Appalachian and down home country music. But the male is rather strikingly flashy enough for the music culture of Nashville and Memphis. Besides, Tennessee has a conservation program for these with people building boxes for them.

Other Options: Yellow-Throated Warbler, Louisiana Waterthrush, Double-Crested Cormorant, Great Blue Heron, Green Heron, Black-Crowned Night Heron, Red-Tailed Hawk, Cooper’s Hawk, Red-Shouldered Hawk, Tennessee Warbler, Killdeer, Great Horned Owl, Pileated Woodpecker, Barred Owl, Great Crested Flycatcher, American Kestrel, American Crow, Blue Jay, Cedar Waxwing, Scarlet Tanager, Indigo Bunting, Rose-Breasted Grosbeak, Bufflehead, Common Loon, Purple Martin, Nashville Warbler, Cerulean Warbler, Bobolink, Red Wing Blackbird, Common Grackle, Bobwhite Quail

  1. Texas
Now the Aplomado Falcon might have a small sustaining population in Southern Texas. But this is the predator most small birds fear which says a lot. Besides, this is the kind of raptor that would make a state bird Texans would be proud of.

Now the Aplomado Falcon might have a small sustaining population in Southern Texas. But this is the predator most small birds fear which says a lot. Besides, this is the kind of raptor that would make a state bird Texans would be proud of.

Official State Bird: Northern Mockingbird

Why It Sucks: It’s the state bird of 5 states which includes Florida. Seriously, Texas, you’re the state with an obnoxious ego bigger than your love for oil, firearms, and capital punishment. Your people take special pride in their cowboy culture, state flag, and history that kids all over the country have to learn it in their history class (which is important for the US to be fair but still). Not to mention, you have plenty of species of birds from which to choose from. Own it.

Best Candidate: Aplomado Falcon

Why: Let’s face it, I can go with a lot unique birds here. But I know that Northern Crested Caracara is too much identified with Mexico while the Roseate Spoonbill is a bird the people of Texas would never really be comfortable with. Now I know that this bird doesn’t have much of a range in Texas. But it’s a bird with a Spanish name and it’s said that small birds fear it more than most predators. So I think this is a bird Texans can really take pride in.

Other Options: Black-Crested Titmouse, Olive Sparrow, Cave Swallow, Roseate Spoonbill, Golden-Cheeked Warbler, Swainson’s Hawk, Aplomado Falcon, Plain Chachalaca, Lesser Goldfinch, Audubon’s Shearwater, Painted Bunting, Neotropic Cormorant, Anhinga, Magnificent Frigatebird, Reddish Egret, Tricolored Heron, White-Tailed Hawk, Zone-Tailed Hawk, Gray Hawk, Northern Crested Caracara, Purple Gallinule, Inca Dove, Grooved-Billed Ani, Elf Owl, Ringed Kingfisher, Green Kingfisher, Ladder-Backed Woodpecker, Acorn Woodpecker, Green Jay, Mexican Jay, Juniper Titmouse, Black-Crested Titmouse, Golden-Cheeked Warbler, Black-Chinned Sparrow, Varied Bunting

  1. Utah
The Snowy Plover raises 2 broods a year, sometimes 3 in places where the breeding season is long. When the chicks hatch, the female deserts her mate and her brood as well as initiates a new breeding attempt with a different mate. Yeah, I know it's kind of neglectful, but it's sometimes how nature works, man.

The Snowy Plover raises 2 broods a year, sometimes 3 in places where the breeding season is long. When the chicks hatch, the female deserts her mate and her brood as well as initiates a new breeding attempt with a different mate. Yeah, I know it’s kind of neglectful, but it’s sometimes how nature works, man.

Official State Bird: California Gull

Why It Sucks: Yes, I get it helped save Mormons from a locust swarm or so I’m told. Utahns even have a gold statue of it commemorating the occasion. But it’s a bird with “California” in its name for God’s sake. The state is not near a coastline. Besides, the bird only uses Utah as a migration stop anyway. Not to mention, I’m sure there were plenty of other birds that helped save Mormons from a locust swarm as well.

Best Candidate: Snowy Plover

Why: Well, unlike the California Gull, it actually lives in Utah to breed even if it’s just the Great Salt Lake area.  Still, this is seen as a threatened bird but the state does have a substantial population of them. Besides, it’s quite adorable as well as eats insects.

Other Options: Greater Sage-Grouse, Gambel’s Quail, Black-Billed Magpie, Western Grebe, Clark’s Grebe, Swainson’s Hawk, Wilson’s Phalarope, Red-Necked Phalarope, American Avocet, Black-Necked Stilt, Marbled Godwit, Western Sandpiper, Long-Billed Dowitcher, American White Pelican, White-Faced Ibis, Eared Grebe, Northern Goshawk, Sharp-Shinned Hawk, Ferruginous Hawk, Prairie Falcon, Broad-Tailed Hummingbird, Calliope Hummingbird, Western Kingbird, Loggerhead Shrike, Steller’s Jay, Western Scrub-Jay, Pinyon Jay, Clark’s Nutcracker, Violet-Green Swallow, Juniper Titmouse, American Dipper, Lazuli Bunting

  1. Vermont
The Black-Throated Blue Warbler is a deep forest bird of the American northeast. Of course, it's said the sexes of this bird look so different that they were originally described as 2 different species.

The Black-Throated Blue Warbler is a deep forest bird of the American northeast. Of course, it’s said the sexes of this bird look so different that they were originally described as 2 different species.

Official State Bird: Hermit Thrush

Why It Sucks: It’s nice but it doesn’t incite the kind of enthusiasm I’d have for Ben & Jerry, cheese, or Bernie Sanders.

Best Candidate: Black-Throated Blue Warbler

Why: Well, it’s adorable and colorful like some people from Vermont. Besides, it prefers upland forests with tons of old growth. And I’m sure the Green Mountain State has plenty of them. Not to mention, it’s bird that only breeds in the US northeast.

Other Options: Chestnut-Sided Warbler, Least Flycatcher, Black-Capped Chickadee, Snow Bunting, Dunlin, Purple Sandpiper, Red-Tailed Hawk, Barred Owl, Eastern Screech-Owl, Northern Saw-Whet Owl, Horned Lark, Common Redpoll, Eastern Kingbird, Black-Billed Cuckoo, American Woodcock, Veery, Blue-Headed Vireo, Scarlet Tanager, White-Throated Sparrow, Yellow-Bellied Sapsucker, Osprey, Killdeer

  1. Virginia
The Belted Kingfisher always seems to have an air of self-importance while patrolling up and down rivers and shorelines. It's also one of the few species where the female is more colorful than the male. As you've seen in most bird species, this isn't the case.

The Belted Kingfisher always seems to have an air of self-importance while patrolling up and down rivers and shorelines. It’s also one of the few species where the female is more colorful than the male. As you’ve seen in most bird species, this isn’t the case.

Official State Bird: Northern Cardinal

Why It Sucks: It’s the state bird of 7 states in the country. Surely a state like Virginia should have a more original state bird than that.

Best Candidate: Belted Kingfisher

Why: Since Virginia is a state with a lot of wetlands and waterways, then this would be a perfect state to be represented by a fishing bird. Not to mention, it’s a permanent resident in Virginia as well as a much better bird for the state than the Cardinal. And unlike the Cardinal, it has no red coat.

Other Options: Saltmarsh Sparrow, Barred Owl, Virginia Rail, Double-Crested Cormorant, Green Heron, Black-Crowned Night Heron, Yellow-Crowned Night Heron, Great Blue Heron, Black Vulture, Wood Duck, Osprey, Red-Shouldered Hawk, American Kestrel, Killdeer, American Woodcock, Laughing Gull, Great Horned Owl, Whippoorwill, Ruby-Throated Hummingbird, Pileated Woodpecker, Blue Jay, Fish Crow, Eastern Kingbird, Red-Eyed Vireo, Purple Martin, White-Breasted Nuthatch, Gray Thrasher, Cedar Waxwing, Yellow Warbler, Scarlet Tanager, Indigo Bunting, Blue Grosbeak, Red Wing Blackbird, Common Grackle, Green Heron, Tree Swallow, Northern Parula, Black-and-White Warbler, Cooper’s Hawk

  1. Washington
The Spotted Owl's status as the indicator species of old-growth forests, it's one of the most studied species in the world. Unfortunately, preservation efforts for this bird have been controversial in the Pacific Northwest, for obvious reasons. This is especially the case since those most vocal against its conservation are from the logging industry.

The Spotted Owl’s status as the indicator species of old-growth forests, it’s one of the most studied species in the world. Unfortunately, preservation efforts for this bird have been controversial in the Pacific Northwest, for obvious reasons. This is especially the case since those most vocal against its conservation are from the logging industry.

Official State Bird: Eastern Goldfinch

Why It Sucks: Though known as the “Willow” Goldfinch, it’s basically the same state bird as Iowa and New Jersey but by a different name. Nice try, Washington.

Best Candidate: Spotted Owl

Why: Let’s just say since it’s experienced a significant decline in Washington that it’s near threatened. However, conserving this bird has brought a lot of contention between conservationists, loggers, cattle grazers, and developers. A decision to reinforce a critical habitat for the owl was challenged by The Arizona Cattle Growers’ Association. Thus, because of the controversy the term, Spotted Owl has come to mean, “trivial environmental issues that do nothing but waste land for economic development as well as taxpayer money.” Still, I think saving the Spotted Owl’s habitat is worth it since “old growth” forests are almost impossible to replace. Besides, preserving these “old growth” forests doesn’t just save the owls either.

Other Options: Glaucous-Winged Gull, Evening Grosbeak, Western Tanager, Lazuli Bunting, Northern Harrier, Northern Goshawk, Western Screech-Owl, Great Horned Owl, Common Loon, Violet-Green Swallow, Yellow-Headed Blackbird, Lewis’s Woodpecker, Black-Billed Magpie, Rufous Hummingbird, Anna’s Hummingbird, Steller’s Jay, Dark-Eyed Junco, Ferruginous Hawk, Black Oystercatcher, American Avocet, Black-Necked Stilt, Great Gray Owl, Boreal Owl

  1. West Virginia
The Cerulean Warbler is the fastest declining neotropical migrant songbird. Yet, despite its problems, there seems to be declining in West Virginia a lot slower than other places. No one knows why.

The Cerulean Warbler is the fastest declining neotropical migrant songbird. Yet, despite its problems, there seems to be declining in West Virginia a lot slower than other places. No one knows why.

Official State Bird: Northern Cardinal

Why It Sucks: It’s the state bird of 7 states. Now I’m sure West Virginia might have some good excuse on this since the state is an environmental disaster area. But still, I don’t imagine a Northern Cardinal when I think about West Virginia. Besides, it’s the state bird of Virginia as well which West Virginia split from during the American Civil War because it wanted nothing to do with the Confederacy.

Best Candidate: Cerulean Warbler

Why: It’s a common breeding bird in West Virginia despite the fact it’s the fastest declining songbird in North America as well as prefers mature forests with closed canopies as its habitat. But despite West Virginia’s environmental problems, these birds seem to love it there that they return there to breed every year.

Other Options: Swainson’s Warbler, Rusty Blackbird, Northern Bobwhite, Black Scoter, Semipalmated Sandpiper, Buff-Breasted Sandpiper, Chimney Swift, Olive-Sided Flycatcher, Golden-Winged Warbler, Bachman’s Sparrow, Henslow’s Sparrow, Long-Tailed Duck, Bicknell’s Thrush

  1. Wisconsin
The Trumpeter Swan is the largest North American waterfowl. However, while the commercial trade in swan skins and excessive hunting have led to significant decline, populations have been increasing where they've been introduced. Wisconsin being one of those states that has.

The Trumpeter Swan is the largest North American waterfowl. However, while the commercial trade in swan skins and excessive hunting have led to significant decline, populations have been increasing where they’ve been introduced. Wisconsin being one of those states that has.

Official State Bird: American Robin

Why It Sucks: It’s the state bird of 3 states. This means that Wisconsin needs a new state bird.

Best Candidate: Trumpeter Swan

Why: Well, it’s one of the most notable native birds of North America. Besides, Wisconsin had a successful recovery for them since the 1980s which has been quite successful. Besides, it doesn’t look half bad on postcards.

Other Options: Golden-Winged Warbler, Sandhill Crane, Cooper’s Hawk, Downy Woodpecker, Hairy Woodpecker, Red-Headed Woodpecker, Killdeer, Purple Martin, Common Loon, Common Merganser, Bobolink, Greater Prairie Chicken, Cerulean Warbler, Henslow’s Sparrow, Osprey, Red-Shouldered Hawk, Indigo Bunting, Whippoorwill, Dickcissel, Blue-Winged Teal, Eastern Kingbird, Tree Swallow, Blue Jay, Rose-Breasted Grosbeak, Whooping Crane

  1. Wyoming
The Ferruginous Hawk is the raptor of the open country and the largest hawk in North America. It is often mistaken for an eagle due to its size, proportions, and behavior. It's also the most adaptable nester of the raptors as well.

The Ferruginous Hawk is the raptor of the open country and the largest hawk in North America. It is often mistaken for an eagle due to its size, proportions, and behavior. It’s also the most adaptable nester of the raptors as well.

Official State Bird: Western Meadowlark

Why It Sucks: It’s the state bird of 6 states. Obviously, Wyoming probably has a bird diversity that gives it no excuse.

Best Candidate: Ferruginous Hawk

Why: Well, Wyoming is home to all kinds of cool wildlife that I can’t think of a better bird to represent it than the largest hawk in North America. Besides, hawks are cool.

Other Options: Greater Sage-Grouse, Barrow’s Goldeneye, Common Loon, Swainson’s Hawk, Pinyon Jay, Western Scrub-Jay, Steller’s Jay, Great Horned Owl, Boreal Owl, Spotted Owl, Lewis’s Woodpecker, Loggerhead Shrike, Violet-Green Swallow, Snow Bunting, Lazuli Bunting, Prairie Falcon, Great Gray Owl, Black-Billed Magpie, Western Tanager

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This Old Birdhouse

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Seeing birds in one’s back yard can be seen as a pleasant sight for many during the spring and summer when all the birds seem to be fluttering around after spending the winter down south (though maybe the South likes the winter birds as well). Of course, there are plenty of ways to draw their attention such as bird baths as well as bird feeders. One particular feeder I have in mind is a bird house, which not only feeds them but also can house a nest now and then in some cases (for instance, they have bluebird houses). But bird houses are mostly bird feeders. Still, when it comes to feeding birds, people have been making birdhouses for a very long time, perhaps centuries. Now there are plenty of bird houses out there since many people tend to uses them as a craft project as well since it tends to involve some easy DIY know-how. I mean most of the time it involves putting a hole in a piece of wood, as well as nailing a bunch of wood pieces into a small house. And it’s inevitable that many tend to have certain finishing touches on them. So without further adieu, I welcome you to enjoy the wonders in the world of bird houses.

1. We begin with a look at the historical Franciscan bird missions of the American Southwest.

Though the Franciscan birds tend to be seen as benevolent to the indigenous birds at times, it's said that many of these bird missionaries tended to destroy a lot of indigenous cultures in the process. Then again, I heard that bird small pox tend to kill more indigenous birds than anything else.

Though the Franciscan birds tend to be seen as benevolent to the indigenous birds at times, it’s said that many of these bird missionaries tended to destroy a lot of indigenous cultures in the process. Then again, I heard that bird small pox tend to kill more indigenous birds than anything else.

2. In the winter, instead of flying south for warmer climates, your local birds could spend the winter in this swanky ski lodge built just for them.

Nevertheless, I hear they charge their avian lodgers fortune in birdseed. Maybe flying south for a winter in Boca Raton is a cheaper bet, but I'm sure the rates aren't much better there either.

Nevertheless, I hear they charge their avian lodgers fortune in birdseed. Maybe flying south for a winter in Boca Raton is a cheaper bet, but I’m sure the rates aren’t much better there either.

3. If your local birds want a more rustic look, this house is for them.

Now I think this might be a bird farmhouse made from scrap wood. But I'm sure it'll have plenty of room with stores of birdseed in the pantry.

Now I think this might be a bird farmhouse made from scrap wood. But I’m sure it’ll have plenty of room with stores of birdseed in the pantry. Not sure if any hill billy birds live there though.

4. For their birdseeding needs, your fine feathered friends can just stop at this avian general store.

I'm sure this place has everything your birds need for the winter whether it's seed, bugs, potential prey, hardware, clothes, and what not. They'll find it all here.

I’m sure this place has everything your birds need for the winter whether it’s seed, bugs, potential prey, hardware, clothes, and what not. They’ll find it all here.

5. When it comes to avian accommodations, nothing makes birds feel more at home than having a little log cabin in the woods.

Now for the bird wishing to get out from the cold and start a homestead, this little log cabin is the perfect fit, when there are trees around. Still, has a rustic feel to it.

Now for the bird wishing to get out from the cold and start a homestead, this little log cabin is the perfect fit, when there are trees around. Still, has a rustic feel to it like you’d see in a fancy set of Lincoln logs. It’s popularly noted that Aviraham Lincoln was born in a log cabin.

6. While putting real flowers on a birdhouse might be impractical, they’d certainly appreciate the floral artwork.

Now this is a lovely little birdhouse I wouldn't mind having in my yard. It seems so picturesque, especially the floral wreath around the hole.

Now this is a lovely little birdhouse I wouldn’t mind having in my yard. It seems so picturesque, especially the floral wreath around the hole.

7. If you’re living in the world of Dr. Seuss, these birdhouses are just the ticket.

And Lord knows how many birds you get to see coming to these houses in Dr. Seuss stories. However, it's kind of disappointing that these houses won't get the kind of birds you'd see in Horton Hears a Who.

And Lord knows how many birds you get to see coming to these houses in Dr. Seuss stories. However, it’s kind of disappointing that these houses won’t get the kind of birds you’d see in Horton Hears a Who.

8. Do any migrating birds need a place to eat during their journey south, then I’m sure they’ll enjoy this avian diner.

Of course, while they specialize in hamburgers and hotdogs, I'm sure they have plenty of other entrees migrating birds would love.  Not sure if they have any bird waitresses on roller skates or avian juteboxes though.

Of course, while they specialize in hamburgers and hotdogs, I’m sure they have plenty of other entrees migrating birds would love. Not sure if they have any bird waitresses on roller skates or avian juteboxes though.

9. Of course, there are quite a few birds who belong to some kind of fraternal lodge order.

This one seems to belong to the Moose Lodge but I'm not sure whether the bears are a lodge order or not. Then again, they could be talking about actual bears.

This one seems to belong to the Moose Lodge but I’m not sure whether the bears are a lodge order or not. Then again, they could be talking about actual bears.

10. If you have any fishing birds in your area, this bait shop would be of service to their needs.

Of course, most fishing birds don't need a bait and tackle shop to catch fish. They just catch them with their beaks as God intended. Still, it's pretty clever.

Of course, most fishing birds don’t need a bait and tackle shop to catch fish. They just catch them with their beaks as God intended. Still, it’s pretty clever.

11. For the birds who think the ski lodge is cramped, say hello to this wooden bird castle complex.

Now this seems like a castle because it just appears so big from other birdhouses. But if it was in better proportion it would resemble something like a Victorian house. Still, it was either sitting in the garage for long periods or someone just had too much time on their hands.

Now this seems like a castle because it just appears so big from other birdhouses. But if it was in better proportion it would resemble something like a Victorian house. Still, it was either sitting in the garage for long periods or someone just had too much time on their hands.

12. Every bird should enjoy the comforts of home now and then.

Now this birdhouse has a  nice stairwell as well as some of the latest styles of avian furniture, blinds, and a a swimming pool. Yes, this is the best birdhouse life has to offer.

Now this birdhouse has a nice stairwell as well as some of the latest styles of avian furniture, blinds, and a a swimming pool. Yes, this is the best birdhouse life has to offer.

13. If the mission style doesn’t suit your local Christian birds, you can always go with an avian meeting house.

Yes, I'm sure there will be some avian gospel choir in their singing hymns to Cheepsus. Okay, maybe not that, but it has a ringing bell for avian services.

Yes, I’m sure there will be some avian gospel choir in their singing hymns to Cheepsus. Okay, maybe not that, but it has a ringing bell for avian nondenominational services.

14. May I present to you, the Grand Birdepest Hotel.

Sorry, but I couldn't resist that pun. But still, I hope it has those interwar luxury interior accommodations and nothing resembling anything from the post WWII era. Still, I'm sure it houses a lot of birds during the seasonal migration periods, particularly rich ones.

Sorry, but I couldn’t resist that pun. But still, I hope it has those interwar luxury interior accommodations and nothing resembling anything from the post WWII era. Still, I’m sure it houses a lot of birds during the seasonal migration periods, particularly rich ones with greedy backstabbing sons, no doubt.

15. For those who prefer a more urbane avian accommodations, perhaps your birds might like this avian hotel.

Now this resembles something that you might see in almost any town or city. Still, I'm sure it would remind many city pigeons of home if they ever see something like this.

Now this resembles something that you might see in almost any town or city. Still, I’m sure it would remind many city pigeons of home if they ever see something like this.

16. Like birds but don’t like birdhouses? Then feed your birds with this bird gazebo.

Now this provides a nice resting place for local birds where they can relax and enjoy nature. Can also be used for weddings. Let's just hope that they don't smoke cigarettes under them.

Now this provides a nice resting place for local birds where they can relax and enjoy nature. Can also be used for weddings. Let’s just hope that they don’t smoke cigarettes under them.

17. For migrating barn swallows, nothing makes it seem right at home for them than an actual barn.

Now this one has a little farmer and tractor. But I have to love the rustic woodwork in this as well as the fine craftsmanship. But I'm sure this is way too small for any actual farm animals.

Now this one has a little farmer and tractor. But I have to love the rustic woodwork in this as well as the fine craftsmanship. But I’m sure this is way too small for any actual farm animals.

18. There are some birds who have a taste in the more modern architectural house styles.

Sometimes what might cool in one way, might not in another. For instance, as a birdhouse this structure looks cool. But as an actual house, it would look ugly.

Sometimes what might cool in one way, might not in another. For instance, as a birdhouse this structure looks cool. But as an actual house, it would look ugly.

19. Of course, even birds must have their own McDonald’s for a quick bite to eat.

Nevertheless, as a fast food restaurant, McDonald's is known to be a big contributor in avian cardiovascular disease, Type II diabetes, and obesity. Also, I hear their bird employees are only paid minimum wage, too.

Nevertheless, as a fast food restaurant, McDonald’s is known to be a big contributor in avian cardiovascular disease, Type II diabetes, and obesity. Also, I hear their bird employees are only paid minimum wage, too.

20. For the birds still missing being near the beach, this tiki beach tavern is for them.

I do like how this one is built like a tiki bar with all the little bird stools. Still, keep away from avian alcoholics. Of course, some of these birds are there for the worms, not the tequila.

I do like how this one is built like a tiki bar with all the little bird stools. Still, keep away from avian alcoholics. Of course, some of these birds are there for the worms, not the tequila.

21. There are birdhouses and then there are bird mansions.

Now this is supposed to be a replica of a house in Maryland created by a guy who specializes in these kinds of birdhouses. Still, whether bird or human, I'm sure one like this won't be very cheap in any case.

Now this is supposed to be a replica of a house in Maryland created by a guy who specializes in these kinds of birdhouses. Still, whether bird or human, I’m sure one like this won’t be very cheap in any case.

22. At times, you can build your very own bird log cabin from a bunch of twigs.

Now this one was built from willow twigs. Not sure what this person used to keep the pieces together. Still, it's quite a marveling effort in many respects.

Now this one was built from willow twigs. Not sure what this person used to keep the pieces together. Still, it’s quite a marveling effort in many respects.

23. A birdhouse like this will certainly make any homesick bird feel at home for the holidays.

I'm not sure of what to make with Christmas themed birdhouses. I mean these birdhouses are only appropriate for a certain time of the year. And birdhouses need to look appropriate all year round. Then again, maybe this is just built for decoration.

I’m not sure of what to make with Christmas themed birdhouses. I mean these birdhouses are only appropriate for a certain time of the year. And birdhouses need to look appropriate all year round. Then again, maybe this is just built for decoration.

24. As migratory birds always need rest now and then, a bird town offers a perfect rest stop.

Now there are a bunch of birdhouses like these. These 3 shown are Jail Birds Bail Bonds, Night Owls  Bar, and Seedy's Liquors. Seems kind of like a seedy place to me. But I'm sure some birds must enjoy the place.

Now there are a bunch of birdhouses like these. These 3 shown are Jail Birds Bail Bonds, Night Owls Bar, and Seedy’s Liquors. Seems kind of like a seedy place to me. But I’m sure some birds must enjoy the place.

25. Of course, birds always need a place to go where nature calls.

I'm sure these outhouses aren't used for certain bodily functions. Because birds don't really care where or how they crap. I mean they'd crap when they fly if they want to.

I’m sure these outhouses aren’t used for certain bodily functions. Because birds don’t really care where or how they crap. I mean they’d crap when they fly if they want to.

26. Now this birdhouse not only gives the birds a place to eat, but also makes your neighbors think twice about possibly stealing any belongings from you.

Now this is actually pretty clever if you think about it. I mean it's a birdhouse but looks like a surveillance camera. It's also made from metal.

Now this is actually pretty clever if you think about it. I mean it’s a birdhouse but looks like a surveillance camera. It’s also made from metal in some parts.

27. This birdhouse has a built in birdbath where the local birds could feed and clean in the same spot.

I'm sure if this was put to use it would be covered in bird shit like most bird baths would. Seriously, birdbaths are disgusting. I'm not sure how some of them expect to get clean while bathing in their own shit.

I’m sure if this was put to use it would be covered in bird shit like most bird baths would. Seriously, birdbaths are disgusting. I’m not sure how some of them expect to get clean while bathing in their own shit most of the time.

28. Any lovebirds wanting to get hitched might want to check out this wedding chapel while they’re at it.

I wonder if any lovebirds are married there by an Elvis impersonator, if it's in Las Vegas. Still, I'm sure birds have been mating millions of years without one.

I wonder if any lovebirds are married there by an Elvis impersonator, if it’s in Las Vegas. Still, I’m sure birds have been mating millions of years without one. Just see some of the birds on my back porch.

29. For the birds wanting the punk rocker look, check out the Painted Bird Tattoo Parlor. They even do beak piercings.

Of course, this place doesn't take warblers. Sorry guys. Still, a lot of young birds' mothers won't be happy about this place.

Of course, this place doesn’t take warblers. Sorry guys. Still, I’m sure certain birds don’t understand how their avian employers tend to look down on those with tattoos and piercings.

30. A lot of times, birdhouses can range from the modern to rustic as well as from traditional to whimsical.

I don't know about you, but this one reminds me of the Burrow from the Harry Potter series for some reason. You know the Weasley family's house. I swear it looked just like that in the movies.

I don’t know about you, but this one reminds me of the Burrow from the Harry Potter series for some reason. You know the Weasley family’s house. I swear it looked just like that in the movies.

31. Every bird kingdom always needs its own bird castle fortress if you think about it.

Now this one certainly looks like a castle as I can see. Yet, I'm not sure if it will protect the finches from the possible eagle invasion.

Now this one certainly looks like a castle as I can see. Yet, I’m not sure if it will protect the finches from the possible eagle invasion.

32. While most birdhouses are made of wood, this one is fashioned from metal and blue tile or glass as it looks like.

Not sure whether the birds like it or not. But I like the blue finish to it. Looks like the ocean waves for some reason.

Not sure whether the birds like it or not. But I like the blue finish to it. Looks like the ocean waves for some reason. Yeah, it’s cool.

33. Of course, every bird should always know to knock first before entering.

Yes, this is another birdhouse outhouse. And it seems that a little man has been occupying it for quite some time. Still, I think it's quite funny.

Yes, this is another birdhouse outhouse. And it seems that a little man has been occupying it for quite some time. Still, I think it’s quite funny.

34. When it comes to birdhouses, some may opt for a sleek modern design.

Now this looks as if it can be an actual house, though perhaps I wouldn't be as in awe of it. Still, I like the flowers on it though.

Now this looks as if it can be an actual house, though perhaps I wouldn’t be as in awe of it. Still, I like the flowers on it though.

35. Nevertheless, it can be said that birdhouses can come in a wide variety of shapes, sizes, and colors.

Now these birdhouses seem to almost blend in with the flowers. But funky colors will certainly draw a bird's attention, if anything. But I do think they're all lovely in their own way.

Now these birdhouses seem to almost blend in with the flowers. But funky colors will certainly draw a bird’s attention, if anything. But I do think they’re all lovely in their own way.

36. I daresay, I was going to put my mail in until I realized that it was not a letterbox.

Now this is a birdhouse from Britain as you can see by how it's painted red and has the initials ER on it. Still, seems like Britain seems to have a problem with birds living in their mailboxes as it looks like.

Now this is a birdhouse from Britain as you can see by how it’s painted red and has the initials ER on it. Still, seems like Britain seems to have a problem with birds living in their mailboxes as it looks like.

37. Have some local birds spend the holidays in this Christmas cabin.

Guess building Christmas themed birdhouses is a thing in the South, when many of the migrating birds make do for the winter. Still, it's quite ornate and cozy looking. Just needs some snow.

Guess building Christmas themed birdhouses is a thing in the South, when many of the migrating birds make do for the winter. Still, it’s quite ornate and cozy looking. Just needs some snow.

38. Hope the birds could make themselves at home in this cozy cottage.

Now this almost resembles a doll's house at first glance. That is, until you see it mounted on a tree. Still, love the small chairs.

Now this almost resembles a doll’s house at first glance. That is, until you see it mounted on a tree. Still, love the small chairs.

39. With birdhouses like these, you can start an avian neighborhood.

I like how these have a sleek design as well as come in a variety of colors. I'm sure any bird is going to recognize a birdhouse like that, that's for sure.

I like how these have a sleek design as well as come in a variety of colors. I’m sure any bird is going to recognize a birdhouse like that, that’s for sure.

40. For the coastal birds, perhaps they can enjoy the view of the ocean with this lovely beach house.

Of course, this might look a little small but at least it's in bright colors and has a nice inner tube. But you can't really take that off if a bird is drowning since it's only used for decoration.

Of course, this might look a little small but at least it’s in bright colors and has a nice inner tube. But you can’t really take that off if a bird is drowning since it’s only used for decoration.

41. When you can’t get a rustic wooden barn birdhouse, an aluminum one will do nicely.

Now this seems almost like a model toy barn you'd see next to some antique doll's house. Still, I think I like the wooden rustic barn better. Aluminum makes it seem more industrial looking.

Now this seems almost like a model toy barn you’d see next to some antique doll’s house. Still, I think I like the wooden rustic barn better. Aluminum makes it seem more industrial looking.

42. For the hippie birds in your area, you can’t do better than a hippie van.

Of course, they'd be certainly tripping balls if you put some bird seed laced with marijuana and brown acid. But they'd probably love it anyway. Man, I'd love to see a stoned bird fly.

Of course, they’d be certainly tripping balls if you put some bird seed laced with marijuana and brown acid. But they’d probably love it anyway. Man, I’d love to see a stoned bird fly high.

43. For the country brid’s needs, here’s an old country store to their liking.

Love the little merchandise pieces on here. Really go wit the set up. But do the birds really need crap like that? Probably not, besides birdseed and possibly bugs.

Love the little merchandise pieces on here. Really go wit the set up. But do the birds really need crap like that? Probably not, besides birdseed and possibly bugs.

44. For the Canadian birds out there, there’s nothing like staying in a large Canadian bird lodge.

I'm sure room and board at this Canadian bird lodge isn't cheap. But I do like the red roof on this thing. Wonder how many of the birds who stay there are professional hockey players.

I’m sure room and board at this Canadian bird lodge isn’t cheap. But I do like the red roof on this thing. Wonder how many of the birds who stay there are professional hockey players.

45. Don’t like birdhouses? Then how about a bird swing?

Sure it might have a couple of bird towers for birdseed. But I think any bird would find a swing like this quite fun. Only wish they'd make stuff like this for humans.

Sure it might have a couple of bird towers for birdseed. But I think any bird would find a swing like this quite fun. Only wish they’d make stuff like this for humans.

46. Introducing the Burger King Fly Through.

Hey, when it comes to avian fast food restaurants, McDonald's isn't the only one out there. But it's apparent this one definitely serves burgers to the birds. Of course, its staff are paid low and their food will lead to all kinds of health problems. Also known as

Hey, when it comes to avian fast food restaurants, McDonald’s isn’t the only one out there. But it’s apparent this one definitely serves burgers to the birds. Of course, its staff are paid low and their food will lead to all kinds of health problems. Also known as “Burger Barf.”

47. Yes it has a faucet, but does it have running water?

I know this is supposed to be a garden birdhouse. But I'm not sure what any bird would want to do with fake pansies and artificial turf.  Also, I'm sure the faucet is for decoration.

I know this is supposed to be a garden birdhouse. But I’m not sure what any bird would want to do with fake pansies and artificial turf. Also, I’m sure the faucet is for decoration.

48. A welcoming sight for birds is a brown house with some bright pink columns as well as pink and baby blue trim.

Now I wonder if I ever saw an actual house like this. Still, love the pink and baby blue on this house. They really stand out.

Now I wonder if I ever saw an actual house like this. Still, love the pink and baby blue on this house. They really stand out. I also like the flowers in the planter and pots.

49. When it comes to birdhouses, some just prefer a cottage in pink.

Now this is basically an avian equivalent to a Barbie dream house. Well, maybe not. But I think it's pretty nonetheless even in pink.

Now this is basically an avian equivalent to a Barbie dream house. Well, maybe not. But I think it’s pretty nonetheless even in pink.

50. When it comes to decorating birdhouses, you can use just about anything.

Now this one is decked with corks, stones, and other things. Looks like it was assembled from stuff found from a dumpster dive. But I kind of like it. Go figure.

Now this one is decked with corks, stones, and other things. Looks like it was assembled from stuff found from a dumpster dive. But I kind of like it. Go figure.

51. Remember birdhouses could always be made from anything around the house.

Seems like this is a combination of an old timey coffee pot now used on camping trips and some sort of large barrel. Now what once served a cup of joe, now serves birdseed.

Seems like this is a combination of an old timey coffee pot now used on camping trips and some sort of large barrel. Now what once served a cup of joe, now serves birdseed.

52. When it comes to birdhouses, you can’t always have a garden. But you can always paint one on there.

Now I really like the little birdhouse and the cute little milk bottles. Really seems to create an idyllic feel to this birdhouse, does it?

Now I really like the little birdhouse and the cute little milk bottles. Really seems to create an idyllic feel to this birdhouse, does it?

53. Seems like this log cabin has gone to the birds.

Yep, it says on the sign. Still, almost likens you to a Lincoln log cabin made from Lincoln logs. Love the rocking chair, by the way.

Yep, it says on the sign. Still, almost likens you to a Lincoln log cabin made from Lincoln logs. Love the rocking chair, by the way.

54. For the more mobile bird, you can’t do worse than a camper.

I'm sure this will probably be either pulled by a toy truck of some type. Still, I'm sure if it would be big enough.

I’m sure this will probably be either pulled by a toy truck of some type. Still, I’m sure if it would be big enough.

55. For a more retro camper, go with this shiny one here. Sure the birds will love it.

Now this is more for the bird yearning for 1950s nostalgia. Can't really see why because it looks like something straight out of the space age.

Now this is more for the bird yearning for 1950s nostalgia. Can’t really see why because it looks like something straight out of the space age.

56. Of course, you can always have a birdhouse of an unusual shape like a cyclone.

Now I'm not sure a cyclone is a good shape for a birdhouse. Then again, it probably holds plenty of birdseed to last the winter.

Now I’m not sure a cyclone is a good shape for a birdhouse. Then again, it probably holds plenty of birdseed to last the winter.

57. In this case, this birdhouse was built along the tree.

Now I'm sure this is the architectural brainchild of a Mr. Frank Lloyd Wren, no doubt. Still, I'm sure snotty rich birds will love it anyway.

Now I’m sure this is the architectural brainchild of a Mr. Frank Lloyd Wren, no doubt. Still, I’m sure snotty rich birds will love it anyway.

58. Yes, even birds feel like they have to confide to a psychic once in awhile.

I think this is Madame Cuckoo's Psychic place. Of course, her slogan is,

I think this is Madame Cuckoo’s Psychic place. Of course, her slogan is, “Count your chickens before they hatch.” Still, you can’t put all your eggs in one basket.

59. This birdhouse comes with express free delivery. But don’t put your mail in it.

Yes, this birdhouse looks like a mailbox. And it seems to be made from wood and plastic. Still, I'm sure it's more of a place for birdseed than bills.

Yes, this birdhouse looks like a mailbox. And it seems to be made from wood and plastic. Still, I’m sure it’s more of a place for birdseed than bills.

60. Now I do declare this is a mighty fine avian plantation mansion there.

Now this seems like a kind of birdhouse you'd see in the antebellum South. Of course, you know what the rich planter birds used to harvest the birdseedl

Now this seems like a kind of birdhouse you’d see in the antebellum South. Of course, you know what the rich planter birds used to harvest the birdseed.

61. Now there’s a birdhouse you can use to feed the birds and grow your plants at the same time.

Yes, I know it's kind of crazy, but I'm sure it must work somewhat. Then again, the plant might be in a smaller pot.

Yes, I know it’s kind of crazy, but I’m sure it must work somewhat. Then again, the plant might be in a smaller pot.

62. For you Bible believing folks out there, perhaps this Noah’s Ark birdhouse would look great in your backyard.

Of course, this one comes with its own animals such as giraffes, elephants, zebras, and a dove on top. Still, quite amazing though.

Of course, this one comes with its own animals such as giraffes, elephants, zebras, and a dove on top. Still, quite amazing though.

63. For Halloween, the local birds would find these bridhouses quite spooktacular if you get my drift.

Once again, I'm not sure about holiday themed birdhouses. This is especially the case on Halloween in the fall, when most of the birds would be flying south for the winter. Then again, maybe not so much in the South.

Once again, I’m not sure about holiday themed birdhouses. This is especially the case on Halloween in the fall, when most of the birds would be flying south for the winter. Then again, maybe not so much in the South.

64. The coastal birds would really find themselves at home with this lighthouse birdhouse.

This one is called, "The Nautical Nest." I'm sure the light in this doesn't actually light up at night in search of stranded sea birds though.

This one is called, “The Nautical Nest.” I’m sure the light in this doesn’t actually light up at night in search of stranded sea birds though.

65. This avian restaurant has everything to the birds’ content as a rest stop.

Let's hope the Live Entertainment doesn't include titmice actually showing their tits (which they actually don't have because they're birds for God's sake). Still, it's called "Wagon Wheel Restaurant."

Let’s hope the Live Entertainment doesn’t include titmice actually showing their tits (which they actually don’t have because they’re birds for God’s sake). Still, it’s called “Wagon Wheel Restaurant.”

66. While you’ve heard of gingerbread houses, I’m sure birds will take to this gingerbread birdhouse during the winter holidays.

I'm sure this isn't intended for actual use because a gingerbread birdhouse wouldn't be a long lived one. Seriously, I'm sure birds and other woodland creatures will surely devour it at some point.

I’m sure this isn’t intended for actual use because a gingerbread birdhouse wouldn’t be a long lived one. Seriously, I’m sure birds and other woodland creatures will surely devour it at some point.

67. Hmmm….didn’t know the birds have their own yacht club. Hell, didn’t even know birds had yachts.

I'm sure this place is filled with the spoiled rich birds from Ivy League schools you hear about .  Bunch of 1% avian snobs.

I’m sure this place is filled with the spoiled rich birds from Ivy League schools you hear about . Bunch of 1% avian snobs.

68. For the birds traveling the Oregon Trail, this covered wagon would be a great place for their food and belongings.

Of course, any bird that decides to go on the Oregon Trail will sometimes have to deal with a chance of catching dysentery. Of course, that would mean a lot of birds shitting on cars.

Of course, any bird that decides to go on the Oregon Trail will sometimes have to deal with a chance of catching dysentery. Of course, that would mean a lot of birds shitting on cars.

69. Of course, while some have birdhouses, others have bird palaces.

This is an ornate bird house in the Maharajah Jungle Trek aviary in Disney's Animal Kingdom. Of course, it's certainly not for sale as far as I know. Still, very elaborate if you get my drift.

This is an ornate bird house in the Maharajah Jungle Trek aviary in Disney’s Animal Kingdom. Of course, it’s certainly not for sale as far as I know. Still, very elaborate if you get my drift.

70. While most birdhouses are made from wood, many can be molded from ceramics.

Now these are very much elaborately painted with designs that put some art major's drawing skills to shame. However, if it weren't the holes and rods, I would've mistook them for very fancy firecrackers.

Now these are very much elaborately painted with designs that put some art major’s drawing skills to shame. However, if it weren’t the holes and rods, I would’ve mistook them for very fancy firecrackers.

71. Of course, while birdhouses can be quite elaborate, you can paint them however you like.

Now I really like this house by how it's so finely painted. Not to mention, it's purple too. And sparkly.

Now I really like this house by how it’s so finely painted. Not to mention, it’s purple too. And sparkly.

72. Now this birdhouse cabin provides the perfect avian nature retreat in the wild.

Now this cabin not only has a porch, it also has a gazebo along with it, too. Not to mention, one pair has already built a nest in it as well.

Now this cabin not only has a porch, it also has a gazebo along with it, too. Not to mention, one pair has already built a nest in it as well.

73. Most birdhouses are usually plain, but this one seems to come straight out from Game of Thrones.

Now I love the ornate style of this such as the clam shell roof and the metal on the front. Still, I'm sure any birds on Game of Thrones would love this, even if many of them get killed off fighting for it.

Now I love the ornate style of this such as the clam shell roof and the metal on the front. Still, I’m sure any birds on Game of Thrones would love this, even if many of them get killed off fighting for it.

74. Now your birds can work out their wings in this birdhouse avian gym.

Seems Tom's Gym's offering $50 off for personal training and guarantees results in 2 weeks. Still, I'm sure most birds tend to be in good shape without needing to visit a gym. Yet, I like the gym equipment in this though.

Seems Tom’s Gym’s offering $50 off for personal training and guarantees results in 2 weeks. Still, I’m sure most birds tend to be in good shape without needing to visit a gym. Yet, I like the gym equipment in this though.

75. If you like old style houses, then this birdhouse with a waterwheel will certainly make your birds feel in another time.

Now this is said to be a watermill cottage with a porch all around. I'm sure the waterwheel is fake in this. But at least this birdhouse doesn't include a birdbath.

Now this is said to be a watermill cottage with a porch all around. I’m sure the waterwheel is fake in this. But at least this birdhouse doesn’t include a birdbath.

76. At times some of these birdhouses tend to take a turn for the more abstract or moderne.

I'm sure many birds in the architectural world would see this as a masterpiece. Regular birds on the other hand, might see it as utter crap. Still, I think it's kind of neat.

I’m sure many birds in the architectural world would see this as a masterpiece. Regular birds on the other hand, might see it as utter crap. Still, I think it’s kind of neat as it kind of reminds me of a person looking in.

77. You can always build a birdhouse with even the most minimum materials at hand.

Now I'm sure this was made from an old electrical outlet shield and an erector set. Seems like some birds have already made a nest there, too.

Now I’m sure this was made from an old electrical outlet shield and an erector set. Seems like some birds have already made a nest there, too.

78. This birdhouse, is bound to make a bird feel at home in its natural habitat.

Now while birds might find a birdhouse like this quite attractive, I'm not sure about people in your neighborhood. They might wonder why this birdhouse seems to be covered in twigs.

Now while birds might find a birdhouse like this quite attractive, I’m not sure about people in your neighborhood. They might wonder why this birdhouse seems to be covered in twigs.

79. Why build a birdhouse, if you can have a beautiful bird tower?

I wonder if they design birdhouses like that in Asia. I mean this kind of resembles a kind of avian pagoda to me for some reason. Still, I'm sure the birds will love it.

I wonder if they design birdhouses like that in Asia. I mean this kind of resembles a kind of avian pagoda to me for some reason. Still, I’m sure the birds will love it.

80. When it comes to birdhouses, you can always make the birds feel at home if you cover one with mosaics of some.

Now I'm sure this is a birdhouse even the biggest artistic bird lover would want. Still, I wonder how that person manage to get some of the brightly colored stone tiles. Probably some hardware store like Lowes or Home Depot.

Now I’m sure this is a birdhouse even the biggest artistic bird lover would want. Still, I wonder how that person manage to get some of the brightly colored stone tiles. Probably some hardware store like Lowes or Home Depot.