The Anthro World of Furry Costumes (Fourth Edition)

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Just as the 4th of July dies down over the weekend, the Furries descend onto Pittsburgh for their annual Furfest. Now given that it’s summer, you have to wonder how these people can wear these suits that can weigh as much as 70lbs. And unlike the Disney park costumes, I’m not sure if they contain fans. Nonetheless, these anthropomorphic cosplayers have been a source of endless fascination by many. Though some might resemble humanized versions of their animal, some can come in very bright colors. While some have a sort of mix-and-match critter thing going on. Anyway, for your reading pleasure, I give you another assortment of furry costumes.

  1. A fox should always show off its furs.
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At least I think it’s a fox. Still, their fur has spots on the tail, upper chest, and ears.

2. My, what a handsome pair of horns.

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Though I think they’re far from the savannah. Yet, they have hooves on their hands and feet.

3. Look, out someone’s green with envy.

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This one is green with horns and a white mane. Also, has hooves on their feet. Kind of a mix between a dog and a satyr.

4. Nothing beats spikes, horns, and scales.

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Despite that scales are usually seen on reptiles not mammals. Yet, you don’t want to go near this fantasy dog.

5. Guess this dog works for PennDOT.

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Because they’re wearing a bright orange vest. And it seems to be writing a citation. Wait a minute.

6. Need a paw?

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Someone’s willing to lend a hand. Though their ears are rather long.

7. Seems like you’ve run into a punk hyena.

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This one has red fur on the mane along with some earrings in their ear. Reminds me of a stereotypical drug dealer.

8. Perhaps a skull helmet would suit you.

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Well, this one has a skull helmet with horns on it. But it goes well with the stripes on their body.

9. A fuzzy neck can be absolutely fabulous.

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Yet, I’m not sure the black neck fur goes well with the whole fursuit. But they don’t seem to care.

10. Blue back spikes must always match the fur on top.

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And they seem to be on a beach in a palm tree location. So they must be roasting.

11. Sometimes a bright green stripe is all you need to stand out.

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Well, they have more than one neon green stripe. But they seem quite a climber from what I see in this picture.

12. One dog can have a coat of many colors.

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This one has some rainbow fur on their back. Though they’re sparkling and white up front.

13. We can all use a break now and then.

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This dog has yellow and blue fur. But right now they seem very exhausted. Must be the summer heat.

14. Someone’s getting funky on the dance floor.

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Well, they seem more like prancing than dancing. Still, they must be sweating inside that costume.

15. A shark tail can always make a dog look badass.

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Sure it doesn’t go well with a dog. But neither do clothes or the color blue.

16. Didn’t know a blue dog could have wings.

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Actually bats are the only mammals with wings as far as I know. However, don’t hug them.

17. This bunny just wants to listen to music by themselves.

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At least I think they’re a bunny. Sometimes you can’t tell what animal these furries are supposed to be.

18. Never thought I’d see a green dog before.

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Wonder what this dog would look in front of a green screen. Then again, you might not be able to see them.

19. This dog’s come well dressed.

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Seems like they’re dressed for a job interview. Hopefully, it’s for a pet store.

20. Who says dogs can’t be badass?

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And yes, they’re on a beach. Let’s hope it’s one in New England or Alaska. So they don’t succumb to heatstroke.

21. We all have our bad hair days.

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Or bad fur days in this furry’s case. Nonetheless, this dog has spots and fuzzy paws.

22. Someone’s waiting at the door.

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This leopard is dressed in regular street clothes. Hope they’re not inside an elevator.

23. Sometimes you better put your best tail forward.

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This dog just wants to strike a pose. Yet, they’re doing no favors being in front of a car.

24. Bet you didn’t see a zebra in a hotel before.

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This one has their front legs out on the balcony. Though I don’t think they have the best view.

25. This dog’s pants are totally ripped.

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Yet, I wouldn’t recommend wearing ripped jeans. Especially if they came that way on the rack.

26. Bet you want to hang out with these cool cats.

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On second thought, given the ferociousness of big cats, I’d rather not. They’ll eat me alive.

27. This blue and green dog is eager to meet you.

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They even have a matching bandana around their neck. Yet, their nose and tongue are blue, which should cause some concern.

28. You have to be batty for pink fur.

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You can see their wings. But I’m not sure if I’d run into a bat like them at night.

29. Want to get a load of this cool tiger?

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This one even wears shiny shorts. Then again, I’m not sure what those pants are.

30. You can see this dog from a mile away.

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Has 2 striped legs. One has black stripes. The other has yellow stripes.

31. Some dogs are just lone wolves.

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So it’s best to leave them alone. Since they just want to mind their own business.

32. No one could be as adorable as this black and white cat.

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Yes, they’re sitting in an adorable pose. And yes, they have pink eyes for extra cuteness.

33. Who can resist this eager purple dog?

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Well, a lot of furries don’t dress in natural color animal costumes. Still, they have pink claws and purple tiger stripes.

34. Want to get a high five?

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After all, kids will certainly go crazy over these costumed furries. Best be nice to them.

35. This dog lives for the ice and snow.

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Well, at least they won’t be subject to heatstroke. Nor would they need a coat either.

36. This lion might want a bit of privacy.

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At least according to how he stands. Though you have to admire that purple mane.

37. My, check the horns on this wolf.

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Okay, that’s definitely a fantasy creature. And yes, they have hooves on their feet, too.

38. Hope you don’t get devoured by this colorful tiger.

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This tiger is yellow with blue stripes. Wears a red bandana to round up the primary colors.

39. Bet you’ve never seen a bird this big before.

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Apparently, this bird is quite fuzzy, too. However, I don’t see any feathers though.

40. Never thought I’d see a purple dog like this.

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This one has big paws on their feet with bright blue claws. Wonder how they sit with that costume on.

41. Perhaps you might take a look at this majestic wolf.

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This one’s wearing a ragged dress. Like she’s wandering a dark forest.

42. Even dragons must take a break once in awhile.

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Sure they don’t seem like they’re the kind to burn King’s Landing. But piss them off and you’ll live to regret it.

43. This lynx just wants to say hello.

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In case you don’t know, these fursuits can cost thousands of dollars. This is among the cheaper ones.

44. I don’t want to know what this lion will do to this gingerbread man.

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Relax, the gingerbread man is a prop since it’s a plush. But the pose still makes you worry.

45. Want this doe to give you the time of day?

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Well, this one just constitutes of a deer mask and a dress. Simple as that.

46. Your claws can never be too long.

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Don’t worry, they’re plush like the rest of the costume. This critter just likes showing them off.

47. Care for a trip to the beach?

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Whoever’s wearing this costume must be sweating balls. Might have a tiger-striped fish tail.

48. Perhaps you might like a couple of colorful tails.

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One tail is black and bright blue. The other is rainbow. But both have dog faces.

49. Make sure the scarf matches the fur.

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Yet, they look at the camera like it’s up in their shit. And want you to back off.

50. This beast seems to enjoy a nice gold goblet of wine.

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Guess this chimera likes the finer things in life. Hope it doesn’t rain.

51. Someone is a bit husky.

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Since this one is a husky dog, obviously. But unlike those in Alaska, they don’t pull a sled.

52. You’d call this a hipster bat.

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Since they’re totally out of the mainstream. Their fur is even in neon colors.

53. Just a couple of wolves in each others arms.

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Though their den is way nicer than a lot of wolf dens. Despite it still being messy.

54. Hope you can’t get enough yellow and blue fuzz.

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Since they have yellow and blue fur. Not sure what that animal this is supposed to be.

55. Bright colors always make one stand out.

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This dog is blue and orange. Wears a checked bandana and black rimmed glasses without lenses.

56. Someone’s really playing possum.

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Even in bright blue and white, this furry possum’s quite ugly. Seems more like a neon rat.

57. This gray bunny only wants a hug.

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Seems straight from an anime. Though they’re gray and spotted.

58. Perhaps you’d like a calico fox.

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This one is in red, black, and white. And their back is quite elaborate don’t you think?

59. How about give this lion a hug?

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The lion even has their own collar. Though lions aren’t known for being anywhere domestication material.

60. A colorful bat should spread their wings.

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This one has vibrant green and yellow wings. Even matches with the bat ears.

61. No one could resist this striped cat.

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This one has a couple of horns on top. Also has big anime eyes.

62. A dog much match their bandana.

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This one has purple, pink, and blue fur. And they sit with their paws raised.

63. Get a look at these colorful paws.

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Paw colors are black, purple, green, and blue. Their legs have blue and purple stripes.

64. Green and pink always make a fine combination.

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This one has a green head along with pink and black lower paws. Seems like they’re ready for a speedskating race.

65. Ever heard of a punk panther?

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This one is green with spikes. Has a jacket with plenty of badges.

66. This punk dog prefers to hang around.

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This one has a leather vest, T-shirt, and a red collar. Even has a mohawk style, too.

67. Perhaps you’d flee from this infernal black beast.

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Don’t worry, they’re just a furry. Has horns and hooves.

68. Could you see the bat behind the wings?

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Seems like they’re wrapped in them. Wonder how they could sit down like that.

69. A leg can always use a few stars.

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This one has rainbow stars. Also rainbow fur on the head.

70. This deer is what you’d call a real lumberjack.

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Even carries a real ax along with jeans and a flannel shirt. Underneath, he wears suspenders and a bra.

71. I guess we found a real Playboy Bunny.

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He’s a bunny wearing a suit. Also the photo is black and white like it’s the 1960s and he’s Don Draper.

72. This majestic fox carries quite an impression.

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Mainly because they have antlers and blue in their fur. Also, their tail is quite long.

73. This dog rocks in the black and gold.

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I’m sure it will help them get free drinks in Pittsburgh during Furfest. Though their costume is more white than anything.

74. Apparently, a creature can have 3 eyes.

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The third eye is on top. Is also blue with spots all over their fur.

75. Blue and black make for a nice combination.

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Contains white claws with black ears and paws. Wonder if they have a beaver tail.

76. Perhaps you’d want to hang out with this leopard.

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Seems like they’re getting ready for the holidays. Though you wouldn’t want most cats to be near a tree.

77. This gray cat just wants to say hello.

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They have big eyes to inspire people to cuddle them. Also, has big ears.

78. Get a load on this colorful tiger.

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This one is mostly neon green and orange with yellow stripes. Won’t have much trouble seeing them in the dark.

79. Standing next to the genuine article.

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This snow leopard resembles the picture on the restaurant. Sure, it’s not an exact likeness.

80. Bet you didn’t see a bear like this.

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Almost blends in with the snow. Yet, you wouldn’t want to picnic near them.

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The Anthro World of Furry Costumes (Third Edition)

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In the hot and humid atmosphere of Southwestern PA in early July, the Furries descend upon Pittsburgh for their annual Anthro Con, which is the world’s second largest convention for them. Why they’re able to withstand the hot summer heat this time of year, I have no idea. But they come from all over the place and have money to burn so Pittsburgh really doesn’t mind as long as they behave themselves. This year, the Furries are stated to bring about $7.9 million to Allegheny County which is a big boost to the area. And with that kind of cash, you really don’t care where it comes from, even if it is from people who like dressing in animal costumes. And if you go to Fernando’s Café during this weekend, you’ll find plenty of Furries hanging out. After all, they raised money to help the owner keep his business through donations during the Great Recession. So for your reading pleasure, I give you another assortment of Furries for this Anthro Con weekend.

  1. A crouching dog is always ready to rumble.

Here he is ready to fight. Best not to mess with him or he’ll rip you to shreds.

2. This fox is ready to mingle in her bright red scarf.

She has her own fluffy tail with a blue tip. And she’s not shy to show it off.

3. Of course, you might have some hell hounds here and there.

Don’t they won’t bite. They’re just hanging out at the convention.

4. Always put your best paw forward.

This dog seems happy to greet their fellow furries. And will show their blue and yellow paws.

5. Someone must’ve received a package.

And someone can’t wait to open it. Wonder what it is. Is it a brand new chew toy?

6. A few pounds of kibble, please.

Actually they seem more likely to be in the candy store. Yet, I’m not sure what this person is supposed to be.

7. Only at Anthro Con can a bunny and polar bear be friends.

Because in real life, a bear is more likely to eat the bunny. And a bunny is less likely to be purple and yellow.

8. A cool cat can always be a snappy dresser.

This one wears a green shirt and a blue polka dot scarf. And they’re all dressed and ready to go.

9. This sitting dog is all covered in tiger stripes.

He’s also wearing a shirt and pants. Seems like he’s going to a concert afterwards.

10. This dark dog sometimes loves to lay about.

And he seems ready to show his claws. So best you leave like right now.

11. I thought dogs weren’t allowed on the subway.

Don’t worry, I’m sure he’s toilet trained. Because he’s a guy in an animal costume.

12. This tiger is locked and loaded.

I’m sure the gun is a toy. But he surely looks like a badass compared to Tony the Tiger.

13. Don’t mind the dog with this cup.

He just has a red Dixie cup on his nose. Guess he really likes to party.

14. You need not fear this friendly hyena.

After all, he’s not that filthy compared to those on the Savannah. Rather, he seems quite clean and friendly.

15. This dog loves showing his claws.

Since they’re all shiny and green. And so is his tongue which is kind of gross.

16. This tiger always loves to wander in the forest.

Well, they’re wearing ragged clothes for some reason. Yet, they like pouncing on the rocks.

17. No frisky fox can resist this vixen.

After all, sexy foxes are always seen as vixens. This one is no different.

18. This cat knows how to don a sweater.

Not sure how he keeps cool during the summer. But he doesn’t look quite bad either.

19. Get a load of this colorful cat.

Yes, this colorful tiger seems straight out of a drug trip. But they just like to hang around.

20. This dog always knows how to rock.

Here he is in his furry get up. He even has his own hat for his ears to stick out.

21. This cat loves hanging by the waterside.

Though they may not want to go into the water. Since it might ruin their coat.

22. This cat has the world on a staff.

This might be a character from some video game. Then again, you have to like their sense of style.

23. Every dog needs a break now and then.

Well, we all can use a break. Furries are probably no exception.

24. Someone seems quite excited today.

Well, they’re in their pants and shirt. And they have their paws up in glee.

25. Want to give a hand to this colorful goat?

Keep in mind that a lot of these furries don’t appear in colors that conform to nature. This goat is purple with green feet and horns.

26. This blue fox wears their heart on their coat.

Well, they have hearts on their upper arms. And they seem quite modest about it.

27. Want to play some ball?

Hope you can keep up in a game of catch. Then again, it’s not a game you should play indoors.

28. This horned cat is off on an epic adventure.

And they seem rather sneaky about it if you ask me. Hope they watch the horns.

29. These loveable animals love to train for a fight.

But they’re always in a good sport about it. Yet, don’t mess with them or they will fight.

30. This dragon loves to spread their wings.

Kind of surprise you don’t see a lot of dragons at these events. Since they’re among the coolest fantasy creatures.

31. Bet you’re expecting this white tiger to drop and give twenty.

Yet, whatever the case, this tiger seem irritated about it. Not sure why, exactly.

32. How about you raise your paws for this tiger?

Sure they may seem a bit dirty. But they’re happy to smile for the camera.

33. This bird of prey has come to roost.

This bird also looks familiar. Not sure where I’d recognize them from.

34. Get a look at this friendly zebra.

Because zebras in the wild are usually too mean for domestication. Since they have to defend themselves against lions.

35. This dog always loves to receive a heart now and then.

Doesn’t hurt that she’s wearing a wig and glasses. Don’t worry, she won’t bite.

36. This wolf feels rather ambivalent about city life.

And I’m sure they’re not in Pittsburgh. Since it’s a coastal area while Pittsburgh certainly isn’t.

37. This dog always shows pride in their ears.

And they don’t mind standing for the photo either. Still, they have their unique kind of charm.

38. Who says dogs don’t have wings?

Actually, dogs don’t have wings in real life. But in furry land, an animal can have as many attributes as desired.

39. Perhaps a snowy owl may interest you.

Though this owl likes to wear clothes like they’re from a fantasy story. Not exactly sure why.

40. “I shall call him, Mini Me.”

Well, they have stuffed dog in a similar patterned scarf. So you can get the idea.

41. This spotted pooch loves to sport a long jacket.

Guess they’re on a key mission. Not sure but they’ll never say.

42. This yellow beast sports a flower necklace.

She also seems rather coy about being photographed. But her yellow fur makes her stand out.

43. This wolf loves to play in the snow.

Not sure why Pittsburgh would host Anthro Con in the winter than the summer. Weather wise, it would make more sense.

44. Who can turn down flowers from this dog?

Indeed, the roses are fake. But this dog seems quite sweet with its puppy eyes.

45. Who says a tiger can’t come in on a scooter?

This yellow and black striped tiger shows otherwise. And they seem to have a rather good time.

46. I wouldn’t go near Puss in Boots if I were you.

Because when he shows his kitty cat eyes, he’s about to attack. Since he uses them to get his enemies to drop their guard.

47. Some colorful dog would like to say hello.

They may be dining out. But that doesn’t mean they won’t turn down a photo op.

48. Didn’t know they can do hand signs with paws.

Yet, they don’t seem to mind as they salute for the camera. And wearing a multicolored scarf around their neck.

49. Who wants to give a cat a hug?

There they are dressed and in a pile of leaves. But they seem quite happy to spread out their arms.

50. Bet you’d never come across a horse like this before.

Yes, that’s a furry horse. And yes, they almost seem like they’re straight from a fantasy story.

51. You always have that one furry willing to show off their tail.

This one has a long, striped tail with bright blue stripes on it. And they’re dying to show it off.

52. This cat seems like a slave to fashion.

They’re in a sleek skirt and matching skirt. So this cat must make herself fancy.

53. Best you don’t go near this big black dog.

Yet, he seems to keep his sleek black coat impeccable. But beware of them.

54. Who says furries don’t like dancing?

This fox always knows how to do the tango. Though I wonder if they know the fox trot.

55. This dog likes showing off their blue fur.

Well, their belly seems to contain blue shades. But they love to rock their coat for the picture.

56. This blue cat just wants to swing by.

They have pink and blue stripes. And they seem to like hanging around the spiral staircase.

57. This lion just wants to hang out in a tree.

Though they seem to have some spots on their coat. Not sure why that is.

58. This dog has to be in a harness.

Wonder if they’re kept on a leash. Though this dog seems friendly to me.

59. Can you give a paw to this pink cat?

She even has her own collar. And you got to love her pink spots, too.

60. This cat knows how to rock a suit.

Sure he may be a tabby. But that doesn’t mean he can dress too shabby.

61. Apparently, this fox has his pants ultimately ripped.

He even seems equipped with belts on his chest. Bet he’s on an adventure.

62. Want to play in the snow with this dragon?

Well, if you get cold, this dragon can breathe some fire. But they better not scorch a forest.

63. This brave wolf knows how to use an ax.

He’s even clad in armor for added protection. And I guess he couldn’t fit into the helmet and pants.

64. This bird has plenty to crow about.

This one has a bird spreading their wings. Wonder what kind it’s supposed to be since you have to look from the back.

65. Not sure if I want to run into this bear in the woods.

Seems like a rather realistic costume if you get my drift. Wonder how many times they get mistaken for the real thing.

66. You might want to get acquainted with this goat.

And they seem rather fuzzy in their white coat. Not to mention how they rock the horns.

67. This white tiger just wants to lay around with the other cats.

You have to wonder what the cat is thinking. Because it may not have the slightest idea.

68. All these furries want are free hugs.

They even have free hug signs. Still, I don’t think there’s much to worry about with them.

69. Bet you wouldn’t run into to this funky goat.

They’re mostly blue and wearing a hat over the scarf. Check out those pink glasses.

70. You wouldn’t like this polar bear when they’re angry.

And it seems that this bear is on the rampage. So best to stay away from them.

71. Apparently, this buck decided to go stag.

After all, he came all by himself. But I wouldn’t lock antlers with him on a bad day.

72. This cat knows how to use the Force.

Here they sit on the couch with a purple lightsaber in hand. But they will pounce when threatened.

73. Hope you didn’t think you’d see them in this post.

Indeed this is the Pink Panther. Cue the iconic Harry Mancini music.

74. Check this fox on the bridge.

Not sure if they’re in Pittsburgh. But the city does have at least one yellow bridge.

75. Seems like these two have a kitten in their paws.

Well, the kitten is a plush toy. But these cats seem to care about each other.

76. This dog greets everyone with open paws.

They’re even wearing a shirt and shorts. And they’re wanting for a hug.

77. This black dog has a rather sneaky side.

This guy is called Zippo Wolf. And I bet they’re in Pittsburgh for the convention.

78. Lay your eyes on this blue raccoon.

They’re even wearing a gray sweat shirt. Still, hope they don’t get in your garbage.

79. This lonely kitty needs a hug.

Well, they’re pouting at this point. So now may not be a great time.

80. This dog always loves to nibble on a steak now and then.

Well, as long as it’s plush steak. But they don’t seem to mind.

The Anthro World of Furry Costumes (Second Edition)

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Once again, Pittsburgh has paid host to world’s largest furry convention, Anthrocon. I know many people might see it as a strange fetish. And for many people it is. But as far as Pittsburgh is concerned, as long as these animal costumed fans spend their money for food and lodging. Also, they seem to be a hit with the kids as far as the news reports make it. Still, you have to wonder how they’d put up wearing an animal costume in scorching heat is the question. I mean they’d have to be roasting in these outfits. After all, many of the character costumes at Disney World are equipped with fans for obvious reasons, not the least that the resort is located in central Florida. But still, furry culture can seem quite weird as you see in the picture above. So for your reading pleasure, I give you another treasure trove of furry costumes.

  1. That bighorn yak sure wields an axe.

Though I almost thought it was a bat until I saw the horns. Still, he has a nice suit of armor.

2. Seems like we have a spiked deer in our midst.

Even has a necklace in his likeness. Must be a character from a book he’s read.

3. Bet you’ve never seen a blue dog before.

Yet, he seems to have brown hair on his head. Not sure how to explain that.

4. This blue dog has some fins and a tail to match.

Well, a lot of furries do consist of mix and match critters. This one has a shark fin and tail.

5. You might give a paw to this scruffy animal.

Not sure whether I’d say they’re a fox or a dog. Either way, they must be hot under that thing.

6. Long ears never go out of style.

Helps if you wear a shirt that matches your black and purple fur. Though that might be stretching it.

7. Blue fur is always great at the playground.

Doesn’t hurt if they can show of their long tail. Though what’s with the blue bandanna?

8. This white snow leopard just wants to say hello.

Well, she she surely has a nice coat and tail. Hope she can catch the escalator.

9. Teal and orange never go out of style.

Though I have to admit, the bandanna goes quite nicely. Still, there’s a lot about furries I don’t understand.

10. Seems like nobody expected a white wolf in the city.

Interesting how a lot of these furry costumes depict dogs. Yet, this one is almost all white for some reason.

11. Sometimes natural earth tones are best.

Well, he’s flexing his muscles to look like a tough guy. Not sure if it helps his case.

12. Who are you calling spotted?

This one has orange and black spots on their back. But they really seem quite the character.

13. Don’t mind this horned dog hanging out.

Yes, I know dogs don’t wear horns. But some of these furry costumes are simply fantastical. Also, are those hooves?

14. How about you greet this cool black cat?

Even has their own collar. But don’t worry, they won’t give you bad luck if they cross your path.

15. Anthrocon is always a great place to spread one’s wings.

This guy came dressed as a fuzzy dragon. Though why they have fur instead of scales, I have no idea.

16. Sometimes a wolf may feel content in their own skin.

Bet they’re just waiting for their pack to return. Or they’re just a lonely wolf tired of howling.

17. Might want to check out this kitty’s jet pack.

Well, the flames are mostly made from tissue paper. But the rest of it almost resembles a the real thing.

18. Now this guy is quite the tiger.

Though when they say, “Be a tiger,” they usually don’t mean it literally. But this is a pretty cool costume nonetheless.

19. You can always stand out in red stripes.

This guy even has a red nose to match. Though the fur composition is quite a combination.

20. But you can always use some blue now and then.

Seems to resemble a husky of some sort. Then again, there’s much about furries I don’t understand.

21. You dare not to mess with this horny bobcat.

Well, she has horns. But she’s also dressed as a fantasy character to let you know her animal originally existed in her imagination.

22. These dogs just want to keep things casual for now.

Well, at least their clothes make them seem less freaky. But yes, the furry thing is pretty weird.

23. Seems like someone has their paws out.

Though the fur pattern is quite intricate. But I’m sure it’s not meant for camouflage.

24. This panda bear has left the building.

Not every day you see a panda walking around. Hope he can get plenty of bamboo before he leaves town.

25. You can always wear a scarf with red and gold.

Well, this guy knows how to stand out in a crowd. Yet, I’m sure you’d freak out if you saw a dog like this.

26. Check out this cool dog in black with yellow stripes.

Almost thought this was a horse until I saw thedog nose. But pretty snazzy if you ask me.

27. This perky dog is eager for anything.

Well, she’s wearing a lovely top and jeans. But the bow is kind of bland.

28. Never thought I’d see a minotaur up close before.

Also, I’m more used to seeing a minotaur in a stone Cretan labyrinth. And I heard he’s not great around people outside his family.

29. Perhaps it’s best to leave that fox alone in the woods.

Funny how they’re wearing a leather jacket. Wonder where they got that from.

30. It would be a mistake to ignore these furry girls.

They’re also wearing dresses that come best with their fur. So sweet.

31. Get a load of this red dragon.

Doesn’t hurt he has spikes on his knees. Though I don’t see the practically. Then again, it’s just a costume.

32. Might want to take a look at this horned cat’s long tail.

Yes, mix and match critters is at play here. Still, wonder how this cat gets around dragging that thing.

33. You’ll certainly know it if you ran into this bright tiger.

I wouldn’t be surprised if this guy sells highlighters when not in his furry costume. Then again, he may wear it on the job.

34. This big horned sheep is all ready for battle.

Then again, this sheep might be some kind of sorcerer or something. But I know what they use those horns for.

35. That goat sure has long horns.

Well, at least this person dresses as a bipedal goat. But I’d sure wouldn’t want to be on the horns’ receiving end.

36. Never thought this snow leopard would whip their sword out.

Bet you wouldn’t want to mess with this furry badass. Else you may learn the hard way.

37. This wadling osprey is slow to take off the ground.

Kind of reminds me of a bird of prey I saw in a cartoon. Was it Fern Gully?

38. How about a jump onto a fluffy bed?

Because any dog likes a nice soft bed. Though a furry in this pose is kind of freaky.

39. This bunny always enjoys a colorful sweater.

Love the hoodie jacket. Very colorful with rainbow sleeves and pockets. That rabbit’s got style.

40. Get a load of this foxy selfie.

Kind of reminds you of the selfies you might see on online dating profiles. Though this girl is more of a vixen.

41. Want to play fetch?

Not sure to drive the point with a ball in your mouth. Seriously, this is just freaky.

42. Nobody could resist purple fur in the winter time.

What the hell is this dog wearing? Is that a swimsuit? Well, at least there’s a fur suit underneath.

43. No dog wants anything more than a large juicy piece of meat.

Well, a plush steak will do. After all, this green dog only plays a role during the furry convention.

44. How about a shirtless leopard pic?

Then again, you can probably get away with this. Looks more freaky but in a different way.

45. Seems like this dog can really strike a pose.

Costume seems like it’s modeled after a real dog. Australian cattle dog, perhaps? Nice fur though.

46. These deer antlers come with white tips.

Bet it’s a reindeer. Though this guy is most likely brown in the back.

47. This blue dog has a star in their hands.

Well, you have to like the blue fur. But as I have to say, furries are a weird bunch.

48. This guy looks a bit husky.

Though chances are you wouldn’t see him pulling a sled. Yet, it won’t stop him from trying.

49. Nothing makes fur fun like some blue designs.

You have to wonder why people dress in animal costumes. It just seems to defy all explanation for me.

50. With this fox, just act casual.

Well, just a fox head and some baggy clothes. What more can you want?

51. This Canadian cat has a pair of high horns.

And this guy has the maple leaf flag on their belt to show nationality. Not sure why the costume includes horns.

52. This bunny knows the way of the samurai.

This one has pants and armor to boot. Too bad he didn’t bring a katana. Bet the convention center has a weapons policy.

53. May I introduce you to Lemonade the Angel Dragon?

Yes, many of these furries have original characters to their costumes. I know it’s weird. But I don’t understand it either.

54. Seems like this vixen can be kinky at Christmas.

Here she is in a Santa dress and leather corset, boots, and gloves. Guess this is for a Christmas card.

55. This black and white dog is jumping for joy.

Well, this guy isn’t as flashy as some of the other dogs. But I hope they don’t hit the water.

56. This blue dog can’t help but show off their long spiky tail.

Also has some yellow spikes on their ears. Looks good in jeans and a shirt.

57. “How do you like my portrait?”

Well, it’s more of a stylized likeness. But it’s better than what I could’ve drawn.

58. Hope you run into this friendly grizzly in the park.

Don’t worry. He won’t steal your picnic basket. Oh, well, if he’s not hungry.

59. With these two dogs, it’s pure puppy love.

One is a green dog holding the bag. The other is a white dog with flowers in her ears and a scarf around her neck.

60. This tough deer is all leathered for action.

Though isn’t leather made from deer. Oh, wait, they make it from cows nowadays. Still, freaky.

61. This vixen steps out in a sexy dress.

Well, she might have a certain type of outfit. But she certainly looks quite fabulous in it, as far as some furries are concerned.

62. Someone has to be top dog around here.

Guess this is a German shepherd. Though you won’t find him sniffing around any time soon.

63. Sonny Pup can’t help himself sometimes.

He even has a nice collar. But outside a furry convention, you’d freak out if you run into him.

64. Cacti never wants to be hugged. So don’t.

You see how freaky this furry subculture can be? Yes, this guy is Cacti. Don’t ask me.

65. This white dog can’t leave without wearing her pink dress.

Okay, that’s kind of strange. I don’t know what to think of this. Seriously, she’s freaking me out.

66. A yellow goat has to carry a red fan.

I bet this guy fancies himself a samurai. Though it just seems a bit creepy to me.

67. It takes a lot to maintain long fur.

And I’m not sure how this person take care of their costume. But some might find it amazing.

68. Looks like this cat has an evil plan.

This guy seems like a character from something. I’m not sure where though.

69. This dark horse always uses the latest Mane and Tail.

And this horse poses for a picture like a model. Show off.

70. These two are just foxing around.

Yes, dance at the water fountain. Then tell me how it was like to fall into the water. Sucks, right?

71. Seems like this dog decided to go casual.

Well, when in doubt, casual is where to go. Though the fur costume makes it a bit more awkward.

72. A zebra always has to know how to dress.

Though the stripes and plaid kind of clash. Seriously, a zebra should just bare it all out.

73. Bet you’d never get a load of this pink dragon.

This costume consists of fur and scales. Like either would go together save on an armadillo.

74. You can always love a dog in bright yellow.

He also has bright green paws and a blue bandanna. Can see him from several miles away.

75. Now that is one funky rabbit.

The bunny even has their ears pierced. But your eyes would be sore looking at this one.

76. This blue feline always enjoys the winter.

Though they don’t seem to be perfectly camouflaged. Though the coat’s kind of cool.

77. Someone’s feeling batty today.

But at least this bat doesn’t suck blood or eat bugs. Also has a nice medal around neck.

78. Ever saw a rainbow dog before?

Neither have I. But you’d probably see a dog playing with a balloon.

79. Rainbow sleeves never go out of style.

Nor do they need to go with a shirt. Because we all need rainbows in our lives.

80. This griffin always wears their heart on their chest.

This one even has small wings to go with their white body. But they stand proud.

The Anthro World of Furry Costumes

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Along with the 4th of July festivities this weekend in Pittsburgh (sans Three Rivers Regatta), from June 30th to July 3rd, the Steel City will pay host to Anthrocon at the David L. Lawrence Convention Center which will celebrate its 20th anniversary. Anthrocon is said to be the world’s largest furry convention which takes place in a city that’s only an hour from where I live. So as a resident of Southwestern, Pennsylvania, there’s really no way I can avoid discussing the furry subculture. Yet, despite that Anthrocon has been held in Pittsburgh since 2006, I wasn’t aware of their existence until I was on summer break from college in 2009 when my dad read aloud an article from the Pittsburgh Post-Gazette about a political staffer for one of the infamous Orie sisters got in trouble for trying to solicit sex with a 15-year-old boy. Now I know that stories revolving around child molestation aren’t funny nor something you should laugh at. However, the fact this guy was also a furry and how the article got into his furry activities sounded so utterly ridiculous that I couldn’t help but burst out laughing. That being said, I know it wasn’t right of me to do that and I acknowledge that most furries aren’t a bunch of depraved sex maniacs despite the stereotype. So what’s a furry? Well, a furries are people who are into anthropomorphic animal characters, many of whom dress in animal costumes, adopt fursonas, and attend furry conventions and parades. There’s also a lot of furry artwork that I’ve viewed while I was searching for costumes for this article. The furry fandom itself draws inspiration from fictional works pertaining to animal characters in science fiction, fantasy, and allegory like Watership Down, Kimba the White Lion, Sonic the Hedgehog, Star Fox, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, Redwall, and Disney’s Robin Hood. However, while furry conventions have existed since the 1980s, the furry fandom didn’t become the subculture it is today until the Internet was made available to the general population. However, while depraved perverts do exist among the Furry Fandom (like the political staffer I previously mentioned), this stereotype doesn’t describe most furries. But the media has with casting them that way as seen by the example I discussed above that many people assume they are. As for the city of Pittsburgh, well, they don’t mind so much as long as the furries behave themselves and spend their money. That being said, for your reading pleasure, I give you a treasure trove of furry costumes.

 

  1. Sometimes you’ll find people who never seemed to outgrow My Little Pony.
Not sure who the white and blue unicorn is. But the other one is Pinkie Pie. Sorry, but I'm not familiar with My Little Pony.

Not sure who the white and blue unicorn is. But the other one is Rainbow Dash. Sorry, but I’m not familiar with My Little Pony.

2. Don’t see a sheep on two legs every day.

Also, I don't think real sheep have two sets of horns. Guess this is probably because big horns look awesome.

Also, I don’t think real sheep have two sets of horns. Guess this is probably because big horns look awesome.

3. This leopard prefers to lounge around in a kimono with a matching parasol.

However, this leopard doesn't really seem content. Also has blond hair for some reason.

However, this leopard doesn’t really seem content. Also has blond hair for some reason.

4. This Great Horned Owl is said to be quite a wizard.

It's obvious this guy is a Harry Potter fan. However, his scarf suggests that he's from Slytherin.

It’s obvious this guy is a Harry Potter fan. However, his scarf suggests that he’s from Slytherin.

5. This raccoon is always dressed for the street.

But this creature has to be careful where it puts its tail. Like the sunglasses though.

But this creature has to be careful where it puts its tail. Like the sunglasses though.

6. Guess this wolf once worked for Lisa Frank.

The rainbow fur is a lucky guess. So are the rainbow sweatshirt and glow sticks.

The rainbow fur is a lucky guess. So are the rainbow sweatshirt and glow sticks.

7. Guess these two are a couple of traveling jack rabbits.

I was right. After all, they have their backpacks, bandannas, hats, and everything.

I was right. After all, they have their backpacks, bandannas, hats, and everything.

8. With furries, love always transcends species.

Who said cats and dogs can't get a long? Well, this is kind of cute in its own way.

Who said cats and dogs can’t get a long? Well, this is kind of cute in its own way.

9. These two dogs have no trouble being noticed.

Because these two are in bright colors that you wouldn't see on most mammals in nature. Neon orange and bright blue, come on.

Because these two are in bright colors that you wouldn’t see on most mammals in nature. Neon orange and bright blue, come on.

10. For this fox, flying is a breeze.

You should note that some of these costumes do include mix and match critter. And some creatures in fantasy and mythology. This fox also has horns, by the way.

You should note that some of these costumes do include mix and match critter. And some creatures in fantasy and mythology. This fox also has horns, by the way.

11. This fox doesn’t want to be kept waiting.

So what is this fox waiting for? An easy meal. Beats me.

So what is this fox waiting for? An easy meal. Beats me.

12. Oh, deer.

Wonder what this deer did in the kitchen that makes him so embarrassed? Anyway, I'm sure any broken utensils can be replaced for a buck or two.

Wonder what this deer did in the kitchen that makes him so embarrassed? Anyway, I’m sure any broken utensils can be replaced for a buck or two.

13. This lion is totally pumped.

Then again, he might be some kind of chimera if my mythology is right. Probably one that lacks horns.

Then again, he might be some kind of chimera if my mythology is right. Probably one that lacks horns.

14. I present to you bird that was born in the wrong era.

Yes, that's a prehistoric bird in modern street clothes. And yes, she's probably among the last of her kind if there's anything to go by.

Yes, that’s a prehistoric bird in modern street clothes. And yes, she’s probably among the last of her kind if there’s anything to go by.

15. This zebra really enjoys the view from the balcony.

While zebras are horses, they were never domesticated because they have very bad tempers. Given that they're lion prey, this is understandable.

While zebras are horses, they were never domesticated because they have very bad tempers. Given that they’re lion prey, this is understandable.

16. Hey, is that Fantastic Mr. Fox?

Or just a fox dressed in business attire? I can't really tell for sure.

Or just a fox dressed in business attire? I can’t really tell for sure.

17. This dalmatian has a Mickey Mouse spot.

Remind him that he be wary of a skinny middle aged woman in furs with a cigarette handle. Because Cruella just has to have a puppy fur coat.

Remind him that he be wary of a skinny middle aged woman in furs with a cigarette handle. Because Cruella just has to have a puppy fur coat.

18. How about a “hi” from a friendly polar bear?

Well, that looks quite realistic for an animal costume. But real polar bears aren't friendly. Remember that.

Well, that looks quite realistic for an animal costume. But real polar bears aren’t friendly. Remember that.

19. Wonder what this black cat has been through.

Wasn't a cat like this featured in an Edgar Allan Poe story? Then again, it's missing a pupil.

Wasn’t a cat like this featured in an Edgar Allan Poe story? Then again, it’s missing a pupil.

20. Guess this pooch prefers a dog in uniform.

This is probably from Britain due to the lady dog's police uniform style. It's very apparent in the hat.

This is probably from Britain due to the lady dog’s police uniform style. It’s very apparent in the hat.

21. This snow leopard surely has a beautiful coat.

That's a very convincing costume here. Wonder what it costs to make it. Like the eyes.

That’s a very convincing costume here. Wonder what it costs to make it. Like the eyes.

22. Not sure if she should try on that French maid outfit.

That looks pretty awkward. Then again, it's probably played for comedy.

That looks pretty awkward. Then again, it’s probably played for comedy.

23. A dog like her is almost impossible to resist.

Well, this isn't too bad. At least the hair style goes well with the ears and outfit.

Well, this isn’t too bad. At least the hair style goes well with the ears and outfit.

24. Bet this dog is a little bit husky.

Why does he have white eyebrows? Because I don't think dogs have them. Oh, wait, furries are fans of anthropomorphic characters. That explains it.

Why does he have white eyebrows? Because I don’t think dogs have them. Oh, wait, furries are fans of anthropomorphic characters. That explains it.

25. Now that is one funky colored fox.

As you can see, furry costumes don't always have to be in natural colors. This one is in pink and black. And is sure to stand out 24/7.

As you can see, furry costumes don’t always have to be in natural colors. This one is in pink and black. And is sure to stand out 24/7.

26. I give you a look at an Arctic fox.

Does not seem too friendly. But I do think the head is spot on.

Does not seem too friendly. But I do think the head is spot on.

27. This eagle always dresses for the occasion.

For a second, I'd mistake him for some PSA kid appeal mascot. Because he surely resembles one.

For a second, I’d mistake him for some PSA kid appeal mascot. Because he surely resembles one.

28. Never seen a satyr tiger before.

Funny how he has a goat beard, horns, and hooves. Then again, you don't want to mess with tigers.

Funny how he has a goat beard, horns, and hooves. Then again, you don’t want to mess with tigers.

29. You wouldn’t want to run in with a creature that glows in the dark.

Not sure what this creature is supposed to be. But I do think the light up effects from the face are cool.

Not sure what this creature is supposed to be. But I do think the light up effects from the face are cool.

30. Whatever this creature is, don’t mess with it.

Guess this is a case of a mix and match critter holding a couple powerful weapons. Of course, they're props but still. Don't know what this is.

Guess this is a case of a mix and match critter holding a couple powerful weapons. Of course, they’re props but still. Don’t know what this is.

31. Heard of a blue beast with bat wings?

That's something you don't see every day. I'm sure it's a fox. But you'd have to wonder if it was inspired by a drug trip.

That’s something you don’t see every day. I’m sure it’s a fox. But you’d have to wonder if it was inspired by a drug trip.

32. This blue bird is happy to spread his wings.

I'm sure this is a fantasy bird. Because I'm not sure if a bird like that exists in real life. The clothes fit him though.

I’m sure this is a fantasy bird. Because I’m not sure if a bird like that exists in real life. The clothes fit him though.

33. That is one funky colored fox.

I know what you might be thinking. And no, I don't think the legs and tail are tie dyed.

I know what you might be thinking. And no, I don’t think the legs and tail are tie dyed.

34. A dog always looks badass with ridges on its back.

Yes, you have the furries that have dinosaur aspects to their costumes, too. Guess they think it looks cool.

Yes, you have the furries that have dinosaur aspects to their costumes, too. Guess they think it looks cool.

35. Don’t mind the sweet tiger here.

She's just minding her own business. Not sure about the girly dress though.

She’s just minding her own business. Not sure about the girly dress though.

36. A lone wolf needs to fend for himself in the West.

Because the lone wolves don't have the packs to back them up. So they're drifting from town to town, getting into saloon gun matches and high noon showdowns.

Because the lone wolves don’t have the packs to back them up. So they’re drifting from town to town, getting into saloon gun matches and high noon showdowns.

37. “Which way to the North Pole?”

Odd, because I thought Santa's reindeer were at the North Pole 24/7 save Christmas Eve. Then again, I may be wrong.

Odd, because I thought Santa’s reindeer were at the North Pole 24/7 save Christmas Eve. Then again, I may be wrong.

38. For winter, black and neon green is all you need.

Is he supposed to be a bobcat from a raid? Then again, with some furry costumes, it's hard to tell.

Is he supposed to be a bobcat from a raid? Then again, with some furry costumes, it’s hard to tell.

39. “I shall call him Mini Me.”

Not sure what to think about him having a plushie in his likeness. But to each his own.

Not sure what to think about him having a plushie in his likeness. But to each his own.

40. Ever seen a fuzzy blue dragon before?

Neither did I. But he doesn't seem dangerous from this angle.

Neither did I. But he doesn’t seem dangerous from this angle.

41. Guess this guy has a thing for pampered pooches.

Not sure what the animal on the right is supposed to be. But the girl dog with glasses doesn't look too bad.

Not sure what the animal on the right is supposed to be. But the girl dog with glasses doesn’t look too bad.

42. All this gorilla wants to do is relax and knit.

Wouldn't expect to see anyone knit in a gorilla suit. But that's pretty funny.

Wouldn’t expect to see anyone knit in a gorilla suit. But that’s pretty funny.

43. This dog might have an aversion to hugs.

Then again, funky colors in nature tend to be warnings to stay away. So he might be poisonous.

Then again, funky colors in nature tend to be warnings to stay away. So he might be poisonous.

44. I’m sure you don’t want to run into a creature like him on a bad day.

Another case of mix and match critters for sure. But he does look like some grim beast from a horror movie.

Another case of mix and match critters for sure. But he does look like some grim beast from a horror movie.

45. As for what to call this creature, I don’t have the slightest idea.

Honestly, I don't know what this is supposed to be. Is it from outer space? Was it made in a lab by some mad scientist?

Honestly, I don’t know what this is supposed to be. Is it from outer space? Was it made in a lab by some mad scientist?

46. This high class cat shows up properly dressed.

Because he always has to epitomize the height of feline sophistication. Like that suit.

Because he always has to epitomize the height of feline sophistication. Like that suit.

47. Hey, that’s not a Playboy Bunny!

Then again, vixens are said to be quite sexy. Not sure if the blond hair goes well with the red fur.

Then again, vixens are said to be quite sexy. Not sure if the blond hair goes well with the red fur.

48. Hey, it’s Rocket from Guardians of the Galaxy.

And it seems that he's brought the big guns. Then again, as a raccoon, he doesn't expect to live long anyway.

And it seems that he’s brought the big guns. Then again, as a raccoon, he doesn’t expect to live long anyway.

49. Take a look at this jackalope.

It's said to be a jackrabbit with antlers from the American Southwest. In reality, some of these alleged "jackalopes" were infected by some sort of virus.

It’s said to be a jackrabbit with antlers from the American Southwest. In reality, some of these alleged “jackalopes” were infected by some sort of virus.

50.Guess this is what you’d call a real cowboy.

Because he's a cow, possibly a Texas Longhorn. Though I can't say whether he's a bull or steer.

Because he’s a cow, possibly a Texas Longhorn. Though I can’t say whether he’s a bull or steer.

51. How about you give one to this horse?

He even has his hooves shoed and is well bridled. Plus, he's great with kids.

He even has his hooves shoed and is well bridled. Plus, he’s great with kids.

52. This lovely dark horse has quite a mane and tail.

I wouldn't be surprised if she thinks she should be a Mane and Tail mascot. It's an animal shampoo by the way.

I wouldn’t be surprised if she thinks she should be a Mane and Tail mascot. It’s an animal shampoo by the way.

53. This purple griffin is dressed and ready for battle.

Now I know what this fantasy creature is supposed to be. Wouldn't want to mess with him though.

Now I know what this fantasy creature is supposed to be. Wouldn’t want to mess with him though.

54. Guess this cat likes chilling in the city.

And this city happens to be Pittsburgh. Again, not sure what this animal is supposed to be.

And this city happens to be Pittsburgh. Again, not sure what this animal is supposed to be.

55. I call this one a city griffin.

Because of the street attire. Hope it doesn't cause too much trouble.

Because of the street attire. Hope it doesn’t cause too much trouble.

56. I don’t this this cute leopard girl would hurt you.

However, a real leopard will if you do something to piss it off. Not sure about the red hair though.

However, a real leopard will if you do something to piss it off. Not sure about the red hair though.

57. Guess this shark doesn’t know what else to do.

Perhaps he's just a fish out of water at this rate. Doesn't understand why people flee when he's out and about.

Perhaps he’s just a fish out of water at this rate. Doesn’t understand why people flee when he’s out and about.

58. Some predators can be visually challenged.

However, since glasses aren't available in the wild, this carnivore wouldn't last long. Also, the blue spots wouldn't help either.

However, since glasses aren’t available in the wild, this carnivore wouldn’t last long. Also, the blue spots wouldn’t help either.

59. It’s not every day you run into a hyena.

Not that you'd want to in the wild. Also, I hyenas aren't cuddly at all by any stretch.

Not that you’d want to in the wild. Also, I hyenas aren’t cuddly at all by any stretch.

60. Not sure if you’d want to touch this hedgehog.

Because if you scare her, she might curl into a ball and give you a few wounds. Yes, hedgehogs aren't to be trifled with.

Because if you scare her, she might curl into a ball and give you a few wounds. Yes, hedgehogs aren’t to be trifled with.

61. A black dog can be quite a badass.

And yes, he sure looks menacing with all his gear. But in a cute way.

And yes, he sure looks menacing with all his gear. But in a cute way.

62. This cat surely knows how to make a regal entrance.

At least that's what I can tell by the face. But she does seem to have hooves.

At least that’s what I can tell by the face. But she does seem to have hooves.

63. This colorful bird just wants to enjoy the flowers.

And what a colorful bird she is. Yet, I bet the male counterpart of her species is even more fantastic looking.

And what a colorful bird she is. Yet, I bet the male counterpart of her species is even more fantastic looking.

64. Hey, is that Toothless the dragon?

I think that is. Sure he's adorable but he's very powerful so don't mess with him.

I think that is. Sure he’s adorable but he’s very powerful so don’t mess with him.

65. I guess this bear is hard to resist in a den.

But touch her children, she'll rip you to shreds. Because mama bears are the last moms you'd want to cross.

But touch her children, she’ll rip you to shreds. Because mama bears are the last moms you’d want to cross.

66. This cool cat just wants to enjoy the winter.

So what if he decides to go casual? It's his choice. As long as he's comfortable.

So what if he decides to go casual? It’s his choice. As long as he’s comfortable.

67. Guess this is what you call a real video hound.

Yes, that's a dog with a camcorder. There's also a Video Hound website by the way, too.

Yes, that’s a dog with a camcorder. There’s also a Video Hound website by the way, too.

68. This lizard doesn’t want to be late.

Hey, not all furries have to be birds, mammals, and dragons. Wonder how long it took for this person to make this costume.

Hey, not all furries have to be birds, mammals, and dragons. Wonder how long it took for this person to make this costume.

69. Seems like the rainbow wolves have taken over.

And they're trying take another in with crayons. He probably won't escape any time soon.

And they’re trying take another in with crayons. He probably won’t escape any time soon.

70. “Excuse me, can you give me directions to Cougar Town?”

Because she's an actual cougar as far as I could tell. Still, if she's looking for a guy, she can find no shortage of sports mascots available.

Because she’s an actual cougar as far as I could tell. Still, if she’s looking for a guy, she can find no shortage of sports mascots available.

71. “Mind if I sample some of your picnic basket?”

This is probably a costume you shouldn't wear at a campground or park, for obvious reasons. Because black bears are more common than grizzlies.

This is probably a costume you shouldn’t wear at a campground or park, for obvious reasons. Because black bears are more common than grizzlies.

72. This owl doesn’t give a hoot what you think.

Because after all, it's active at night. So you're not going to see it out and about anyway.

Because after all, it’s active at night. So you’re not going to see it out and about anyway.

73. Hey, look, space cats.

Or at least one of them is. The other might be a Steampunk mechanic of some sort.

Or at least one of them is. The other might be a Steampunk mechanic of some sort.

74. This animal loves to be the life of the party.

According to how he's dressed anyway. Helps that he stands out.

According to how he’s dressed anyway. Helps that he stands out.

75. Guess this mare is one of those derby groupies.

Okay, that's a joke I couldn't resist. But she does have a nice mane and tail.

Okay, that’s a joke I couldn’t resist. But she does have a nice mane and tail.

76. Take a load on this bat.

Guess you can call him a literal Batman if you ask me. Sorry, Bruce Wayne.

Guess you can call him a literal Batman if you ask me. Sorry, Bruce Wayne.

77. Try driving this guy to extinction.

Yes, that's supposed to be a mastodon which is now extinct. But this costume is pretty cool.

Yes, that’s supposed to be a mastodon which is now extinct. But this costume is pretty cool.

78. Guess I’d call this one a Southern Fox.

Yes, I know the Confederate flag image is racist. But I had to include this on just because.

Yes, I know the Confederate flag image is racist. But I had to include this on the post just because.

79. Oh, no, it’s the Minotaur!

Come to think of it, he might fit right in. As long as he doesn't ask for a meal of 14 Athenian youths.

Come to think of it, he might fit right in. As long as he doesn’t ask for a meal of 14 Athenian youths.

80. My, this canine is sharply dressed.

However, he can still bite even in a tuxedo. And he has the scars to prove it. So remember that.

However, he can still bite even in a tuxedo. And he has the scars to prove it. So remember that.

State Birds That Should Be

John Oliver has once said that there are two things that American states are bad at: civil rights and state birds. Of course, anyone who’s studied African American history would understand the former, especially since the states’ lousiness to utter lack of interest in protecting civil rights was the driving reason in the rise of the Civil Rights Movement. Of course, I’ve written a few posts explaining why that is (such as one on the Charleston shooting and the Confederate Flag). However, I haven’t brushed on the other subject like state birds. Now I know it’s not nearly important but we have to understand that while the Founding Fathers were absolutely right to name the Bald Eagle as our national symbol, our states have been absolutely horrible in selecting a bird that best represents them. I mean there are several states with the same one like the Northern Mockingbird, the Northern Cardinal, the Eastern Bluebird, the Eastern Goldfinch, the Black-Capped Chickadee, the Western Meadowlark, the Mountain Bluebird, and the American Robin as well as others with birds that don’t seem to really represent them. Some aren’t even very unique. For instance, as a native and lifelong resident in Pennsylvania, I have never seen a Ruffed Grouse. I have seen a Great Blue Heron, a seagull, a Norther Harrier, a Bufflehead, and even a Pilated Woodpecker in my area. But I have never seen a freaking Ruffed Grouse in Pennsylvania in all of my freaking life. Not a single one. Maybe the wild turkey might not be a great national symbol but it would’ve been a way better state bird for Pennsylvania than the Ruffed Grouse. At least I’ve seen wild turkeys from my neck of the woods. Nevertheless, we have 50 states in the US as well as hundreds of native birds in our country to choose from. It’s not like several states have to pick the same one. Here I list my opinion for what I think should be the state bird for each of the 50 states of the United States of America.

  1. Alabama
While the Northern Mockingbird can be found anywhere, Alabama's association with Harper Lee and the Civil Rights Movement kind of makes it an appropriate state bird there. As Lee put it, To Kill a Mockingbird is to kill what is innocent and harmless like Tom Robinson.

While the Northern Mockingbird can be found anywhere, Alabama’s association with Harper Lee and the Civil Rights Movement kind of makes it an appropriate state bird there. As Lee put it, To Kill a Mockingbird is to kill what is innocent and harmless like Tom Robinson.

Official State Bird: Northern Flicker (Yellowhammer)

Why It Sucks: For one, this bird was chosen with its association to Confederate soldiers, which may be something Alabama may take pride in. However, I’m sure this bird’s association with Confederacy won’t sit well with the state’s minority populations. Also, there’s not a lot of flickers in Alabama anyway.

Best Candidate: Northern Mockingbird

Why: Sure I know it’s a common and boring bird. But Alabama was a major center of the American Civil Rights Movement as well as home to Harper Lee who wrote To Kill a Mockingbird, a book closely identified with it. Besides, the Civil Rights Movement was a major event that put Alabama on the map and what most people identify this state with. Still, if the Northern Mockingbird has to be a state bird, then it should be in Alabama.

Other Options: Blue Jay, Ruby-Throated Hummingbird, Cedar Waxwing, Red-Bellied Woodpecker, Tufted Titmouse, Mourning Dove, Brown Pelican, Northern Shrike, Great Crested Flycatcher, Loggerhead Shrike, Red-Cockated Woodpecker

  1. Alaska
Now this is the kind of bird I think about when it comes to Alaska. This is a magnificent bird of prey that the state could be proud of. Hell, it's even one of the few birds that can even get non-birders to come out for a look.

Now this is the kind of bird I think about when it comes to Alaska. This is a magnificent bird of prey that the state could be proud of. Hell, it’s even one of the few birds that can even get non-birders to come out for a look.

Official State Bird: Willow Ptarmigan

Why It Sucks: It’s a very common bird in Alaska, which is home to 69 species of birds that only breed there. It’s also not a bird most people imagine when they think about Alaska. Also, the name is dumb.

Best Candidate: Snowy Owl

Why: Well, I might be biased since Harry Potter owned one named Hedwig. However, this is possibly one of the birds someone imagines when they think about Alaska. This is a majestic, arctic bird of prey, which has all the makings of a truly great state bird that Alaska can be proud of.

Other Options: Horned Puffin, Gyrfalcon, Arctic Tern, Arctic Loon, Pacific Loon, Aleutian Tern, Little Auk, Great Gray Owl, Glaucous Gull, America Tree Sparrow, Golden-Crowned Sparrow, Trumpeter Swan, Tundra Swan, Emperor Goose, Wood Duck, American Widgeon, Bufflehead, Harlequin Duck, Smew, Steller’s Eider, King Eider, Horned Grebe, Red-Necked Grebe, Brandt’s Cormorant, Pelagic Cormorant, Boreal Owl, Rough-Legged Hawk, Merlin, Greater Scaup, Sandhill Crane, Semipalmated Plover, American Golden Plover, Solitary Sandpiper

  1. Arizona
While the Gila Woodpecker might be small, they are an important protector of the saguaro cactus. Not only does it eat insects that might harm the cactus, it also cuts away unhealthy flesh from the plant as well. They are also more common in Arizona than the Cactus Wren and prettier, too.

While the Gila Woodpecker might be small, they are an important protector of the saguaro cactus. Not only does it eat insects that might harm the cactus, it also cuts away unhealthy flesh from the plant as well. They are also more common in Arizona than the Cactus Wren and prettier, too.

Official State Bird: Cactus Wren

Why It Sucks: Not bad, Arizona. After all this is a desert state and the Cactus Wren is a desert bird. However, I’m not sure if it’s unique enough since Arizona isn’t the only desert state.

Best Candidate: Gila Woodpecker

Why: Well, they’re very adaptable birds in the Sonoran Desert and are associated with Saguaro cactus and Mesquite. Besides, while the Cactus Wren looks boring, the Gila Woodpecker has neat zebra wings. Not to mention, it has a bigger range than the Cactus Wren.

Other Options: Anna’s Hummingbird, California Condor, Yellow Junco, Greater Roadrunner, Great Horned Owl, Magnificent Hummingbird, Turkey Vulture, Zone-Tailed Hawk, Steller’s Jay, Gilded Flicker, Phainopepla, Painted Whitestart, Bullock’s Oriole, Ferruginous Hawk, Broad-Tailed Hummingbird, Elegant Trogon, Mexican Jay, Green-Tailed Towhee, American Dipper, Indigo Bunting, Gray Hawk, White-Throated Swift, Acorn Woodpecker, Mexican Jay, Red-Faced Warbler, Gambel’s Quail

  1. Arkansas
The Pileated Woodpecker may not be a rare bird, but its sheer size makes its presence unmistakable. Not to mention, its association with the Ivory-Billed Woodpecker makes it a good fit as the state bird of Arkansas.

The Pileated Woodpecker may not be a rare bird, but its sheer size makes its presence unmistakable. Not to mention, its association with the Ivory-Billed Woodpecker makes it a good fit as the state bird of Arkansas.

Official State Bird: Northern Mockingbird

Why It Sucks: Because it’s the state bird of 5 states and Arkansas has one of the worst reasons to claim it.

Best Candidate: Pileated Woodpecker

Why: Now this is possibly the largest woodpecker in North America (if the Ivory-Billed Woodpecker is extinct by this point). Not to mention, its large size gives it a strong unmistakable presence. It’s also very adaptable in forest and other environments unlike the Ivory-Billed. Still, this is a very awesome and unique American bird.

Other Options: Hairy Woodpecker, Downy Woodpecker, Eastern Phoebe, Chipping Sparrow, Easter Towhee, Tufted Titmouse, Eastern Screech-Owl, Barred Owl, American Crow, Eastern Whippoorwill, Great Crested Flycatcher, Loggerhead Shrike, Painted Bunting

  1. California
Though the California Condor is a scavenging buzzard, it's been seen as an important symbol for Native American mythology in California. It's also the largest land bird in North America and one of the longest living.

Though the California Condor is a scavenging buzzard, it’s been seen as an important symbol for Native American mythology in California. It’s also the largest land bird in North America and one of the longest living.

Official State Bird: California Quail

Why It Sucks: Well, it’s a unique bird for California. But it’s been misplaced in a lot of movies that some people think it lives almost anywhere (thanks to Disney, no doubt). Also, it’s a game bird and not one that embodies the spirit of the state.

Best Candidate: California Condor

Why: Because this scavenging vulture is the largest land birds of North America as well as one of the longest living. Not to mention, the state managed to have a successful breeding program and helped reintroduce them in the wild. It’s also a significant bird to California Native American tribes as well as plays an important role in several of their myths. It’s not an attractive bird but it’s a remarkable bird nevertheless.

Other Options: Western Gull, California Gull, Anna’s Hummingbird, Western Scrub Jay, Pacific Loon, Laysan Albatross, Red-Billed Tropicbird, California Thrasher, Yellow-Billed Magpie, Nuttall’s Woodpecker, Violet-Green Swallow, Cassin’s Kingbird, Black-Backed Woodpecker, Phainopepla, Bullock’s Oriole, Brewer’s Blackbird, Lazuli Bunting, Tufted Duck, Clark’s Grebe, Black Storm Petrel, Brandt’s Cormorant, California Towhee, White-Tailed Kite, Flammulated Owl, Spotted Owl, Black Phoebe, American Dipper, Barrow’s Goldeneye, Acorn Woodpecker, California Least Tern, Mountain Quail

  1. Colorado
The Gunnison Sage Grouse is known for its elaborate courtship ritual with males congregating in a lek

The Gunnison Sage Grouse is known for its elaborate courtship ritual with males congregating in a lek “strutting display” as groups of females observe and select the most attractive to mate with. And only a few males do most of the breeding.

Official State Bird: Lark Bunting

Why It Sucks: Yes, it’s a unique bird and the male is quite nice looking but it’s quite rare even in its own state.

Best Candidate: Gunnison Sage Grouse

Why: It is one of the rarest birds in North America and its population is only in a small area of Colorado. It’s also a truly unique bird in its own right with a great feather display and are notable in their unique courtship rituals. Also, most experts recommend this.

Other Options: Great Horned Owl, Belted Kingfisher, Calliope Hummingbird, Brown Capped Rosy Finch, Yellow-Headed Blackbird, Bullock’s Oriole, Brewer’s Blackbird, Lewis’s Woodpecker, Greater Sage Grouse, American Three-Toed Woodpecker, Clark’s Nutcracker, Lazuli Bunting, Black-Billed Magpie, Western Grebe, Eared Grebe, Clark’s Grebe, American Dipper, Mountain Plover, White-Throated Swift, Brown-Capped Rosy Finch, Boreal Owl

  1. Connecticut
Yes, I know the Blue Jay has a reputation for being an obnoxious and aggressive bird. But they're also quite beautiful, intelligent, and tough. I mean they're known to chase hawks and owls.

Yes, I know the Blue Jay has a reputation for being an obnoxious and aggressive bird. But they’re also quite beautiful, intelligent, and tough. I mean they’re known to chase hawks and owls.

Official State Bird: American Robin

Why It Sucks: It’s a state bird in 3 states which means that Connecticut should find a new state bird.

Best Candidate: Blue Jay

Why: For one, it’s a common North American bird and a rather iconic one. It’s also a rather feisty bird known to chase predatory birds like hawks and owls as well as make a variety of sounds. Besides, it’s been cited in a couple of works by Mark Twain, one of Connecticut’s most famous residents (and let’s just say the state is home to a lot of celebrities). Why the Blue Jay isn’t already a state bird in this country, I have no idea. But it’s a better choice than the American Robin.

Other Options: Killdeer, Great Cormorant, Green Heron, Black-Crowned Night Heron, Glossy Ibis, Laughing Gull, Roseate Tern, Ruby-Throated Hummingbird, Belted Kingfisher, Red-Headed Woodpecker, Eastern Kingbird, American Crow, Connecticut Warbler, Great Crested Flycatcher, Black-Throated Blue Warbler

  1. Delaware
Like many plovers, the Piping Plover is known to feign a

Like many plovers, the Piping Plover is known to feign a “broken wing display” in order to direct a predator’s attention away from its chicks. Of course, human activity at beaches has led to a population decline that conservationists have reserved beaches for them during breeding season.

Official State Bird: Delaware Blue Hen

Why It Sucks: Face it, it’s a domesticated chicken that makes for a very lame mascot at one of its universities. Not to mention, it’s not even recognized as a chicken breed for God’s sake. It’s just a state bird due its significance in a Revolutionary War regiment in the state. And its main use was in cockfighting. Real nice. Yeah, it’s a stupid state bird in a state that’s only known for Joe Biden, corporate friendly tax rates, Dr. Oz, and not much else.

Best Candidate: Piping Plover

Why: For one, the Delaware Audubon Society has a whole article on it as an Endangered Species. Second, it’s a shorebird and is quite small and Delaware is home to a lot of coastal birds. Third, Delaware even has a program to restore this bird’s population, which has led to the state closing a beach section during its breeding season. And like Delaware, it doesn’t look anything special.

Other Options: Red Knot, Seaside Sparrow, Purple Martin, Ruby-Throated Hummingbird, Barn Swallow, Great Blue Heron, Tufted Titmouse, Great Crested Flycatcher

  1. Florida
Now the American Flamingo isn't as common in Florida as some of its other birds. And it's only recently that they have returned to the Everglades. However, it's still the bird that comes to mind when you think of Florida. So why this isn't Florida's state bird already is beyond me.

Now the American Flamingo isn’t as common in Florida as some of its other birds. And it’s only recently that they have returned to the Everglades. However, it’s still the bird that comes to mind when you think of Florida. So why this isn’t Florida’s state bird already is beyond me.

Official State Bird: Northern Mockingbird

Why It Sucks: It’s the state bird of 5 states with one of them being Texas. Florida has one of the worst excuses since it has a rather diverse bird population, particularly in the Everglades which was designated as a National Park to preserve some of them. And all the birds they could’ve had to represent their state, they had to pick a small one that’s found everywhere. Really? That’s stupid.

Best Candidate: American Flamingo

Why: Basically, it’s such an iconic bird in Florida that it’s their unofficial state bird already. Of course, they’re not as common as they used to be in the state but as 2015, it’s been said that they’ve returned to the Everglades since about 147 have been seen there during the latest breeding season. Still, when you think of Florida, the American Flamingo is the first bird you think about. This is mostly because its likeness has been used in many tacky lawn decorations by Florida residents and others.

Other Options: Wood Duck, Great Blue Heron, Wood Stork, Magnificent Frigatebird, Brown Booby, Double-Crested Cormorant, Great Cormorant, Anhinga, American White Pelican, Brown Pelican, Little Blue Heron, Snowy Egret, Great Egret, Yellow-Crowned Night Heron, Green Heron, Black-Crowned Night Heron, American White Ibis, Glossy Ibis, Roseate Spoonbill, Northern Crested Caracara, Purple Gallinule, Sora, Killdeer, American Oystercatcher, Calliope Hummingbird, Ruby-Throated Hummingbird, Belted Kingfisher, Florida Scrub-Jay, Purple Martin, Painted Bunting, Hooded Merganser, Tricolored Heron, Sandhill Crane, Great Crested Flycatcher, Smooth-Billed Ani, Reddish Egret

  1. Georgia
The Eastern Towhee is a large and striking sparrow as well as the bird of the undergrowth. It's said its rummaging makes far more noise than what you'd expect for their size.

The Eastern Towhee is a large and striking sparrow as well as the bird of the undergrowth. It’s said its rummaging makes far more noise than what you’d expect for their size.

Official State Bird: Brown Thrasher

Why It Sucks: Well, for one, it’s not a compelling bird. Also, it had a hockey team named the Atlanta Thrashers which relocated to Canada and became the Calgary Flames. It’s also a rather common bird in the Southeastern US. Other than that, it’s not a terrible choice, just not one I think is good for Georgia.

Best Candidate: Eastern Towhee

Why: It is a large and striking species of sparrow that stands out better than the Brown Thrasher. Sure it’s a common eastern bird but it’s a permanent resident of Georgia as well as carries a nice sound, too. It’s also more common than a Brown Thrasher.

Other Options: Wood Duck, Blue-Winged Teal, Bufflehead, Hooded Merganser, Audubon’s Shearwater, Great Blue Heron, Little Blue Heron, Cattle Egret, American White Ibis, Black Vulture, Ruby-Throated Hummingbird, Belted Kingfisher, Eastern Kingbird, Blue Jay, Purple Martin, Cedar Waxwing, Great Crested Flycatcher, Loggerhead Shrike

  1. Hawaii
The Pueo is a actually subspecies of the Short-Eared Owl that is endemic in Hawaii. But it has been attributed by Hawaiian mythology as one of the physical forms assumed by ʻaumakua who were the ancestor spirits of Hawaiian mythology.

The Pueo is a actually subspecies of the Short-Eared Owl that is endemic in Hawaii. But it has been attributed by Hawaiian mythology as one of the physical forms assumed by ʻaumakua who were the ancestor spirits of Hawaiian mythology.

Official State Bird: Nene (Hawaiian Goose)

Why It Sucks: Now the Nene might seem like a great tropical state bird for Hawaii since it’s rather unique to the islands. However, the fact that it’s a goose is kind of disappointing to say the least. Besides, Hawaii must have other more interesting species than this one. Not the kind of bird I’d want to see on a postcard from there.

Best Candidate: Pueo (Hawaiian Short-Eared Owl)

Why: Well, because this owl is a rather significant bird in Hawaiian folklore as one of the physical forms of the ancestor spirits. It is deemed as a sacred family protector and bringer of good luck, despite being endangered. Besides, an owl is a better state bird than a goose any day of the week.

Other Options: Brant Goose, Laysan Albatross, Black-Footed Albatross, Hawaiian Petrel, Bonin Petrel, Newell’s Shearwater, Hawaiian Hawk, Hawaiian Coot, Hawaiian Black Noddy, Kauaʻi ʻelepaio, Oʻahu ʻelepaio, Hawaiʻi ʻelepaio, ʻŌmaʻo, Nihoa Finch, Hawaiʻi ʻamakihi, Liwi, ʻAnianiau, ʻApapane, Red Crested Cardinal, Hawaiian Gallinule, Hawaiian Stilt

  1. Idaho
Now the Pinyon Jay isn't a common bird in Idaho, people in this state seem to hold some kind of affection for it. Nevertheless, their highly social behavior makes them a rather dependable presence in the state.

Now the Pinyon Jay isn’t a common bird in Idaho, people in this state seem to hold some kind of affection for it. Nevertheless, their highly social behavior makes them a rather dependable presence in the state.

Official State Bird: Mountain Bluebird

Why It Sucks: Because it shares its state bird with Nevada. Not to mention, there aren’t many in that state.

Best Candidate: Pinyon Jay

Why: Well, for one, Idaho State University has a press venture named after it. Second, despite it appearing in a few southern Idaho counties, it seems to have a rather special place in that state. However, unlike the Mountain Bluebird, the Pinyon Jay is said to be seen in Idaho every month of the year, especially during the summer.

Other Options: Franklin’s Gull, Western Gull, Black-Billed Cuckoo, Band-Tailed Pidgeon, Great Horned Owl, Barred Owl, Great Gray Owl, Long-Eared Owl, Black-Backed Woodpecker, Downy Woodpecker, Loggerhead Shrike, Great Gray Shrike, Steller’s Jay, Western Scrub-Jay, Bullock’s Oriole, Lewis’s Woodpecker, Rufous Hummingbird, Peregrine Falcon, Lazuli Bunting, Black-Billed Magpie, Western Grebe, Eared Grebe, Clark’s Grebe, White-Throated Swift, Boreal Owl

  1. Illinois
The male Greater Prairie Chicken is a highly territorial bird that often defends his booming grounds. It's the place where he performs his display to attract females by inflating the air sacs on their neck. It's said that one or two of the most dominant males do 90% of the mating.

The male Greater Prairie Chicken is a highly territorial bird that often defends his booming grounds. It’s the place where he performs his display to attract females by inflating the air sacs on their neck. It’s said that one or two of the most dominant males do 90% of the mating.

Official State Bird: Northern Cardinal

Why It Sucks: Because the Northern Cardinal is the state bird for 7 states. That’s more than how many states have been home to Abraham Lincoln who spent most of his life there.

Best Candidate: Greater Prairie Chicken

Why: While it’s not as common in Illinois as the Northern Cardinal and only found in Southern Illinois, it’s nevertheless a rather unique bird to the state. They also kind of have a great combination of Springfield folksiness you’d associate with Lincoln as well as the badassery and rowdiness you’d associate with Chicago.

Other Options: Common Loon, White Breasted Nuthatch, Downy Woodpecker, Ruby Throated Hummingbird, Cedar Waxwing, Dark-Eyed Junco, Eastern Goldfinch, Great Horned Owl, American Kestrel, Dickcissel, Eastern Kingbird, Indigo Bunting, Red Wing Blackbird, Great Crested Flycatcher

  1. Indiana
The Bobolink is said to be one of the world's most impressive songbird migrants traveling some 12,500 miles from South America per year. In their lifetime it's said they may travel the equivalent of 4 or 5 times around the circumference of the earth. Also, while a male may mate with several females, each clutch of eggs laid by a single female may have multiple fathers.

The Bobolink is said to be one of the world’s most impressive songbird migrants traveling some 12,500 miles from South America per year. In their lifetime it’s said they may travel the equivalent of 4 or 5 times around the circumference of the earth. Also, while a male may mate with several females, each clutch of eggs laid by a single female may have multiple fathers.

Official State Bird: Northern Cardinal

Why It Sucks: As with Illinois, it’s the state bird of 7 states which is more than states claiming to be the home of Abraham Lincoln, who spent his later childhood and teenage years there.

Best Candidate: Bobolink

Why: Besides its awesome name and unique appearance, this is a much more unique bird to Indiana than the Northern Cardinal which is everywhere. Bobolinks are only prevalent in the Northeast and Midwest. Besides, it has an awesome color scheme.

Other Options: White-Breasted Nuthatch, Ruby-Throated Hummingbird, Brown-Headed Cowbird, Downy Woodpecker, Dark-Eyed Junco, Mourning Dove, Song Sparrow, Scarlet Tanager, Common Loon, American Kestrel, Blue Grosbeak, Indigo Bunting, Blue Grosbeak, Lincoln’s Sparrow, Purple Martin, Yellow-Headed Blackbird, Great Crested Flycatcher

  1. Iowa
The Dickcissel is a grassland bird that prefers the fields of the Midwest. The males are also said to have up to six mates but most usually have one or two.

The Dickcissel is a grassland bird that prefers the fields of the Midwest. The males are also said to have up to six mates but most usually have one or two.

Official State Bird: Eastern Goldfinch

Why It Sucks: Well, despite having a good reason for the Eastern Goldfinch, it’s also the state bird of New Jersey and Washington.

Best Candidate: Dickcissel

Why: Let’s face it, this is a unique bird in the Midwest and Iowa is a state best known for its agriculture. It also has a great unique name as well as polygynous mating habits, which is rare for a songbird. But it kind of fits well how Iowa was one of the first states to legalize gay marriage, a measure nobody expected.

Other Options: Red-Winged Blackbird, Greater Prairie Chicken, American Kestrel, Rough-Legged Hawk, Sharp-Shinned Hawk, Prairie Falcon, Red-Shouldered Hawk, Barn Owl, Tree Swallow, Cedar Waxwing, Mississippi Kite, Great Crested Flycatcher

  1. Kansas
The American Crow is a true survivor since it's highly adaptable, social, and intelligent that no matter how much humans want to kill them, they will keep coming. They're also known for traveling in family groups of up to 15 and contain young from 5 different years. They can sometimes make and use tools.

The American Crow is a true survivor since it’s highly adaptable, social, and intelligent that no matter how much humans want to kill them, they will keep coming. They’re also known for traveling in family groups of up to 15 and contain young from 5 different years. They can sometimes make and use tools.

Official State Bird:  Western Meadowlark

Why It Sucks: It’s the state bird of 6 states, including a couple of its neighbors.

Best Candidate: American Crow

Why: Because the American Crow is among one of the smartest and most underrated North American Birds. Not to mention, Kansas has dealt with a lot of crap during its history such as tornadoes, violent disputes over slavery, the Dust Bowl, terrible school boards, and Sam Brownback. The American Crow has been seen as a pest and there have been efforts to eliminate it. But still, it’s a very resilient and adaptable bird that also fulfills a key purpose like Kansas. So I think it’s one that represents Kansas the best. Besides, it’s about time the American Crow should be a state bird.

Other Options: Ruffed Grouse, Lesser Prairie Chicken, Northern Bobwhite, Scaled Quail, Mississippi Kite, Cooper’s Hawk, American Kestrel, Prairie Falcon, Barn Owl, Prairie Falcon, Dickcissel, Whooping Crane, Great Crested Flycatcher, Upland Sandpiper

  1. Kentucky
The Blue Grosbeak is a member of the same family as the Northern Cardinal even if you might not have heard of it. And since Kentucky is the Bluegrass State, perhaps this would make a more appropriate state bird. Just call it a

The Blue Grosbeak is a member of the same family as the Northern Cardinal even if you might not have heard of it. And since Kentucky is the Bluegrass State, perhaps this would make a more appropriate state bird. Just call it a “blue cardinal” because that’s what it pretty much is.

Official State Bird: Northern Cardinal

Why It Sucks: It’s the state bird of 7 states which is more than those who claim to be the Land of Lincoln. Of course, this was where Lincoln was born.

Best Candidate: Blue Grosbeak

Why: For one, it’s in the same family as the Northern Cardinal. Second, since Kentucky is known as “the Bluegrass State” it’s only fair that it should be represented by a bird with blue feathers. I think it’s a good compromise.

Other Options: Field Sparrow, Indigo Bunting, American Kestrel, Kentucky Warbler, Red-Headed Woodpecker, Downy Woodpecker, Tree Swallow, Blue Jay, Evening Grosbeak, Red-Winged Blackbird. American Crow, Purple Martin, Blue Grosbeak, American Kestrel, Great Crested Flycatcher

  1. Louisiana
Though the Brown Pelican is the Louisiana state bird, it doesn't spend a lot of time in the state nor does it appear on the state flag. However, the American While Pelican does as a winter visitor and the pelican on Louisiana's state flag is certainly white. So perhaps the Pelican State should try this pelican as their state bird instead.

Though the Brown Pelican is the Louisiana state bird, it doesn’t spend a lot of time in the state nor does it appear on the state flag. However, the American While Pelican does as a winter visitor and the pelican on Louisiana’s state flag is certainly white. So perhaps the Pelican State should try this pelican as their state bird instead.

Official State Bird: Brown Pelican

Why It Sucks: Well, this isn’t a bad state bird since Louisiana is known as “the Pelican State.” But it’s not an attractive bird. Also, it’s not even the pelican that appears on its state flag. Besides, it’s not a common bird in Louisiana.

Best Candidate: American White Pelican

Why: Because the pelican on the Louisiana State Flag is always white, not brown. To have the American White Pelican as its state bird would make much better sense. And unlike the Brown Pelican, it does spend time in Louisiana (though it doesn’t necessarily breed there).

Other Options: Common Loon, Great Blue Heron, Anhinga, Yellow-Crowned Night Heron, Wood Duck, Wood Stork, Double-Crested Cormorant, Green Heron, Great Egret, Snowy Egret, Tricolored Heron, Little Blue Heron, White Ibis, Glossy Ibis, Roseate Spoonbill, Purple Gallinule, Belted Kingfisher, Crested Caracara, Louisiana Waterthrush, Great Crested Flycatcher

  1. Maine
The Atlantic Puffin looks like the clown of the sea and its US breeding spot is off the coast of Maine. Its bright colors make it one of Maine's most popular birds that their nesting colonies have become significant tourist destinations for birdwatchers.

The Atlantic Puffin looks like the clown of the sea and its US breeding spot is off the coast of Maine. Its bright colors make it one of Maine’s most popular birds that their nesting colonies have become significant tourist destinations for birdwatchers.

Official State Bird: Black-Capped Chickadee

Why It Sucks: Has the same state bird as Massachusetts. It’s also a rather common American bird as well. It’s cute but Maine can do better.

Best Candidate: Atlantic Puffin

Why: It’s not a common bird in Maine (residing on 5 islands off the coast) but it has at least 2 things going for it, especially since attempts to restore it to its historical range have been successful in the state. For one, it’s one of Maine’s most popular birds that their nesting colonies have become significant tourist destinations for birdwatchers. There are even boating tours to see these birds during the summer. Second, it’s basically the only state in the US where these adorable Subarctic birds reside. Thus, while it’s adorable, it’s also one of the most unique birds in Maine.

Other Options: Snow Goose, Wood Duck, Spruce Grouse, Blue Jay, American Kestrel, Common Loon, Leach’s Storm Petrel, Great Blue Heron, Snowy Egret, Black Vulture, Osprey, Cooper’s Hawk, American Oystercatcher, Common Tern, Belted Kingfisher, Philadelphia Vireo, Common Raven, Purple Martin, White-Breasted Nuthatch, Cedar Waxwing, Seaside Sparrow, Red Wing Blackbird, Indigo Bunting, Acadian Flycatcher, Great Crested Flycatcher, Black-Throated Blue Warbler

  1. Maryland
Edgar Allan Poe might not have spent a lot of time in Baltimore but since he died under mysterious circumstances in 1849, he will always be associated with the state of Maryland. And since he's most famous for

Edgar Allan Poe might not have spent a lot of time in Baltimore but since he died under mysterious circumstances in 1849, he will always be associated with the state of Maryland. And since he’s most famous for “The Raven” so would the Common Raven. Not to mention, Maryland is home to the Baltimore Ravens but we’ll discuss Ray Lewis’s murder allegations nevermore.

Official State Bird: Baltimore Oriole

Why It Sucks: While it does make sense for Maryland to have this as their state bird as well as a name of Baltimore’s Major League Baseball team, there aren’t many in the state.

Best Candidate: Common Raven

Why: Aside from the Baltimore Oriole, this is the other bird identified with Maryland. Edgar Allan Poe is associated with the city of Baltimore despite the fact he only lived there for 2 years and dying there in 1849 under interesting circumstances. Nevertheless, he’s buried there though. He’s best known for his poem, “The Raven” from where the Baltimore Ravens get their name (though they were previously the Cleveland Browns before moving there). Sure it might not be a common bird in the state, but it’s a rather significant one due to its connection to Poe and American Literature. Besides, more people are familiar with Poe’s “The Raven” than Lord Baltimore.

Other Options: Osprey, Barnacle Goose, Hooded Merganser, Common Loon, Great Blue Heron, Green Heron, Great Egret, Wood Stork, American Kestrel, Cooper’s Hawk, Killdeer, Royal Tern, Ruby-Throated Hummingbird, Belted Kingfisher, Red-Headed Woodpecker, Blue Jay, American Crow, Rose-Breasted Grosbeak, Red Wing Blackbird, American Oystercatcher, Orchard Oriole, Eastern Kingbird, Northern Shrike, Great Crested Flycatcher

  1. Massachusetts
Since Massachusetts was the site of the First Thanksgiving, I thought it would only be appropriate that its state bird be the Wild Turkey. Of course, unlike their domesticated counterparts, they're actually quite smart as well as agile flyers. However, they usually can't fly higher than a quarter mile.

Since Massachusetts was the site of the First Thanksgiving, I thought it would only be appropriate that its state bird be the Wild Turkey. Of course, unlike their domesticated counterparts, they’re actually quite smart as well as agile flyers. However, they usually can’t fly higher than a quarter mile.

Official State Bird: Black-Capped Chickadee

Why It Sucks: Has the same state bird as Maine. Cute but Massachusetts can do better.

Best Candidate: Wild Turkey

Why: For one, it’s the Massachusetts state game bird so it probably has reasonable appeal as a state symbol. Second, like Massachusetts, it’s associated with Thanksgiving, an American national holiday. Third, it was even recommended as a national symbol by Benjamin Franklin who was a native of Boston. Let’s just say between this bird and the Black-Capped Chickadee, the Wild Turkey is a more appropriate choice for Massachusetts’ state bird.

Other Options: Kirtland’s Warbler, Piping Plover, Blue Jay, Chimney Swift, Orchard Oriole, Cedar Waxwing, Brown-Headed Cowbird, Dark-Eyed Junco, Great Blue Heron, Common Loon, Leach’s Storm Petrel, Snowy Egret, Little Blue Heron, American Kestrel, Cooper’s Hawk, Norther Goshawk, Red-Tailed Hawk, Red-Shouldered Hawk, American Oystercatcher, Laughing Gull, Roseate Tern, Barn Owl, Great Horned Owl, Ruby-Throated Hummingbird, Belted Kingfisher, Common Tern, Red Wing Blackbird, White-Breasted Nuthatch, Fish Crow, Herring Gull, Great Crested Flycatcher, Black-Throated Blue Warbler

  1. Michigan
Kirtland's Warbler is a rare bird of Michigan's jack pine forests. It depends on fire to provide small trees and open areas meeting its nesting requirements. Yes, this bird really hates Smoky the Bear's guts.

Kirtland’s Warbler is a rare bird of Michigan’s jack pine forests. It depends on fire to provide small trees and open areas meeting its nesting requirements. Yes, this bird really hates Smoky the Bear’s guts.

Official State Bird: American Robin

Why It Sucks: It’s the state bird in 3 states in the country. Time for Michigan to find a new state bird. Besides, it’s a very common bird anyway when the state can do better.

Best Candidate: Kirtland’s Warbler

Why: For one it’s a bird that pretty much resides in this state which was almost extinct nearly 50 years ago, but they’ve made a recovery. It’s now classified as Near Threatened. Also, it has a community college named after it. Still, it would be a better bird than the American Robin.

Other Options: Wood Duck, Common Loon, American Kestrel, Red Wing Blackbird, Green-Tailed Towhee, American Tree Sparrow, Cape May Warbler, Cedar Waxwing, Great Blue Heron, Purple Martin, Barn Swallow, Cave Swallow, Blue Jay, American Crow, Northern Shrike, Eastern Kingbird, Downy Woodpecker, Belted Kingfisher, Ruby-Throated Hummingbird, Barn Owl, Killdeer, Red-Tailed Hawk, White-Breasted Nuthatch, Dark-Eyed Junco, Cooper’s Hawk, Herring Gull, Great Crested Flycatcher, Black Tern, Sandhill Crane, Upland Sandpiper

  1. Minnesota
Minnesota has the highest remaining density of the Golden-Winged Warbler. In fact, it's home to about half its global population. However, these birds have also experienced one of the steepest declines of any songbird species in the last 45 years.

Minnesota has the highest remaining density of the Golden-Winged Warbler. In fact, it’s home to about half its global population. However, these birds have also experienced one of the steepest declines of any songbird species in the last 45 years.

Official State Bird: Common Loon

Why It Sucks: Well, the Common Loon is a nice bird. But it usually resides more often in Michigan than Minnesota (even if the latter has a lot of lakes) as well as winters on the American Coast. Minnesota may be in the Great Lakes region but it’s more of an inland state.

Best Candidate: Golden-Winged Warbler

Why: For one, it’s more common in Minnesota than the Common Loon. Second, it’s known to breed in this state as well as in Wisconsin. Still, it may not be a Common Loon but it’s a rather magnificent and more appropriate bird for the state.

Other Options: Sedge Wren, Greater Prairie Chicken, Ruffed Grouse, Sharp-Tailed Grouse, Green Heron, Cooper’s Hawk, American Kestrel, Common Gallinule, Killdeer, Parasitic Jaeger, Barn Owl, Great Horned Owl, Black-Backed Woodpecker, Northern Goshawk, Piping Plover, Common Tern, Common Redpoll, Blue Jay, Rose-Breasted Grosbeak, Black-Capped Chickadee, Wood Duck, Scarlet Tanager, Great Blue Heron, Blackburnian Warbler, Indigo Bunting, Osprey, Great Crested Flycatcher, Ruffed Grouse, Trumpeter Swan, Double-Crested Cormorant, Black Tern, Upland Sandpiper

  1. Mississippi
The Great Blue Heron is a majestic sight whether poised on a river or cruising a coastline with slow, deep, wingbeats. Though it may seem motionless and slow moving at times, it can strike like lightning to grab a fish or snap a gopher. Can also hunt at night or day.

The Great Blue Heron is a majestic sight whether poised on a river or cruising a coastline with slow, deep, wingbeats. Though it may seem motionless and slow moving at times, it can strike like lightning to grab a fish or snap a gopher. Can also hunt at night or day.

Official State Bird: Northern Mockingbird

Why It Sucks: It’s the state bird of 5 states in the country. I’m sure Mississippi has a more diverse bird population that it could do better.

Best Candidate: Great Blue Heron

Why: Let’s just say it’s a prevalent bird in the Mississippi and the Great Egret is already a symbol for The Audubon Society. Mississippi is also known to have wetlands and waterways which the Great Blue Heron is well suited for. Besides, it’s a better state bird choice than the Northern Mockingbird.

Other Options: Wood Duck, Great Egret, Yellow-Breasted Chat, Downy Woodpecker, Red-Bellied Woodpecker, Yellow-Rumped Warbler, Eastern Towhee, Blue Jay, Cedar Waxwing, Herring Gull, American Crow, American Coot, Rose-Breasted Grosbeak, Belted Kingfisher, Mississippi Kite, Killdeer, Anhinga, Great Crested Flycatcher

  1. Missouri
The American Kestrel is the smallest falcon of North America. Yet, it packs a predator's intensity into its small body. It can also see ultraviolet light and hide surplus kills to save food in lean times and conceal it from thieves.

The American Kestrel is the smallest falcon of North America. Yet, it packs a predator’s intensity into its small body. It can also see ultraviolet light and hide surplus kills to save food in lean times and conceal it from thieves.

Official State Bird: Eastern Bluebird

Why It Sucks: Shares the same state bird as New York. And it’s not as common as you might think due to having to compete with invasive species like sparrows and starlings.

Best Candidate: American Kestrel

Why: Missouri has often been in the middle of a lot of stuff during its history. It was a border state during the antebellum years as well as the starting point in the Oregon Trail. It had residents fight on both sides during the American Civil War and was the home of Quantrill’s Raiders (that included the James brothers). Besides, it has a reputation as a bellwether state and is home to a lot of wildlife diversity. And since the American Kestrel is a common bird of prey that lives in a variety of habitats as well as resides in the state year round, I can’t think of better bird to represent the state. Not to mention, it’s known to be quite feisty like Missouri native Harry Truman.

Other Options: Northern Cardinal, Wood Duck, Blue Jay, Easter Whippoorwill, Henslow’s Sparrow, Black-Crowned Night Heron, Great Blue Heron, Osprey, Cooper’s Hawk, American Coot, Tufted Titmouse, Downy Woodpecker, Hairy Woodpecker, Red-Tailed Hawk, Red-Bellied Woodpecker, Red Wing Blackbird, Barn Owl, Purple Martin, Great Crested Flycatcher

  1. Montana
McCown's Longspur is the songbird of the barren ground in the Great Plains such as short grass prairies and overgrazed pastures. The male is known to maintain its territory through aerial displays.

McCown’s Longspur is the songbird of the barren ground in the Great Plains such as short grass prairies and overgrazed pastures. The male is known to maintain its territory through aerial displays.

Official State Bird: Western Meadowlark

Why It Sucks: For one, it’s a state bird of 6 states. Besides, Montana is the home to a lot of birds as well, which doesn’t give it much of an excuse.

Best Candidate: McCown’s Longspur

Why: Because it mostly breeds in this state during the summer (along with Wyoming). They also are known for characteristic aerial and song displays. It’s a more unique bird to the state than the Western Meadowlark.

Other Options: Vesper Sparrow, Long-Tailed Duck, Greater Sage Grouse, Dusky Grouse, Cooper’s Hawk, Red-Tailed Hawk, Northern Goshawk, Ferruginous Hawk, Great Horned Owl, Flammulated Owl, Western Screech-Owl, Barred Owl, Long-Eared Owl, Great Gray Owl, Calliope Hummingbird, Steller’s Jay, Western Scrub Jay, Clark’s Nutcracker, Black-Billed Magpie, American Kestrel, Merlin, Prairie Falcon, American Crow, Bullock’s Oriole, Sharp-Shinned Hawk, Townsend’s Solitaire, Pinyon Jay, Cedar Waxwing, Sprauge’s Pipit, Cassin’s Kingbird, Lazuli Bunting, Trumpeter Swan, Western Grebe, Eared Grebe, Double-Crested Cormorant, Mountain Plover, Upland Sandpiper, Boreal Owl

  1. Nebraska
The Sandhill Crane may only be a migratory visitor to Nebraska. But from February to April each year, 500,000 of them return to feed at Nebraska's Platte River as one of the largest congregation of birds of North America. Such event attracts 12,000 to 15,000 tourists and there's even a Crane festival in March.

The Sandhill Crane may only be a migratory visitor to Nebraska. But from February to April each year, 500,000 of them return to feed at Nebraska’s Platte River as one of the largest congregation of birds of North America. Such event attracts 12,000 to 15,000 tourists and there’s even a Crane festival in March.

Official State Bird: Western Meadowlark

Why It Sucks: It’s a state bird of 6 states. Time for Nebraska to find something else to represent their state.

Best Candidate: Sandhill Crane

Why: Because 500,000 of these birds return to Nebraska’s Platte River every year around February to April. However, it’s one of the largest bird congregation spectacle in North America which brings between 12,000 and 15,000 people to the area each year. There’s even a crane festival in March.

Other Options: Greater Prairie Chicken, Red-Tailed Hawk, Whooping Crane, Killdeer, Blue Jay, Piping Plover, Bobolink, Least Tern, Harris’s Sparrow, Great Crested Flycatcher, White-Fronted Goose, Mallard Duck, Northern Pintail, Lesser Snow Goose, Black-Billed Magpie, Upland Sandpiper

  1. Nevada
The Greater Sage-Grouse may only inhabit northern Nevada. But I'm sure the male of this species looks like he's straight from Las Vegas.

The Greater Sage-Grouse may only inhabit northern Nevada. But I’m sure the male of this species looks like he’s straight from Las Vegas.

Official State Bird: Mountain Bluebird

Why It Sucks: It shares the same state bird with Idaho. Besides, Nevada could at least have more showy bird than that. I mean Nevada is famous for tackiness, sin, vice, gambling, quickie divorces, marrying under the influence, materialism, prostitution, atomic testing, and other crazy things. The state bird should reflect that. And the Mountain Bluebird doesn’t really hold a candle to that since it’s too nice.

Best Candidate: Greater Sage Grouse

Why: Despite being more abundant in Wyoming, this is the perfect state bird for Nevada. For one, it inhabits the northern part of state year round. Secondly, the male of the species looks as if you’d expect it to come out of Las Vegas. Not to mention, it has a rather elaborate mating ritual.

Other Options: White-Faced Ibis, Dusky Grouse, Sooty Grouse, Turkey Vulture, Common Black-Hawk, Sharp-Shinned Hawk, Mountain Plover, Greater Roadrunner, Long-Eared Owl, Great Horned Owl, Great Gray Owl, Gila Woodpecker, Lewis’s Woodpecker, Black-Billed Magpie, Western Scrub-Jay, Clark’s Nutcracker, Western Tanager, Red Wing Blackbird, Great-Tailed Grackle, Bullock’s Oriole, Brewer’s Blackbird, Evening Grosbeak, Juniper Titmouse, Calliope Hummingbird, Lazuli Bunting, Eared Grebe, Clark’s Grebe, American Dipper

  1. New Hampshire
The Red-Tailed Hawk is the most common hawk of North America. It is a large sharp-taloned bird that can be aggressive when defending their nests and territories. When courting, these birds fly with their legs beneath them, sometimes locking talons. Mated pairs typically stay together until one of them dies.

The Red-Tailed Hawk is the most common hawk of North America. It is a large sharp-taloned bird that can be aggressive when defending their nests and territories. When courting, these birds fly with their legs beneath them, sometimes locking talons. Mated pairs typically stay together until one of them dies.

Official State Bird: Purple Finch

Why It Sucks: For one, it’s not really purple. Second, the male’s plumage of Neapolitan ice cream getting all mixed up. Third, it’s kind of ugly to say the least.

Best Candidate: Red-Tailed Hawk

Why: Face it, there was a group of 4th graders who wanted it to be their state raptor. Their proposal was turned down in the New Hampshire State Legislature in front of their faces. I think it would be best if the legislature reconvened and named this their state bird instead of the Purple Finch. Besides, its feathers were seen as sacred by many Native American tribes Not only that, but they’re really cool to say the least. Has all kinds of subspecies and morphs, too. Yeah, the Red-Tailed Hawk is awesome and it should be a state bird.

Other Options: Black-Capped Chickadee, American Redstart, Purple Martin, American Crow, Blue Jay, Cedar Waxwing, Eastern Goldfinch, Common Grackle, Cooper’s Hawk, White-Breasted Nuthatch, Tufted Titmouse, Killdeer, American Oystercatcher, Osprey, Black-Throated Blue Warbler

  1. New Jersey
The Black Skimmer's remarkable bill sets it apart from all other American birds. Its large red and black bill is knife thin and the lower manible is longer than the upper. The bird drags the lower bill through the water as it flies through the water it flies along, hoping to catch a small fish.

The Black Skimmer’s remarkable bill sets it apart from all other American birds. Its large red and black bill is knife thin and the lower manible is longer than the upper. The bird drags the lower bill through the water as it flies through the water it flies along, hoping to catch a small fish.

Official State Bird: Eastern Goldfinch

Why It Sucks: Shares the same state bird with Iowa and Washington. Also, doesn’t really live up to New Jersey’s reputation if you know what I mean. Besides, it has a better birding acclaim and can do better.

Best Candidate: Black Skimmer

Why: For one, despite New Jersey’s reputation, at least the state is doing something to conserve this bird’s population in its breeding range on the Jersey Shore. Second, you can joke by how this bird’s name describes a lot of New Jersey’s politicians since it has a horrible reputation for corruption.

Other Options: Seaside Sparrow, Wood Duck, Greater Scaup, Hooded Merganser, Pie-Billed Grebe, Northern Gannet, Great Blue Heron, Great Egret, Green Heron, Glossy Ibis, Osprey, Cooper’s Hawk, Sharp-Shinned Hawk, Peregrine Falcon, American Kestrel, Common Gallinule, Killdeer, Piping Plover, American Oystercatcher, Laughing Gull, Roseate Tern, Black Tern, Royal Tern, Long-Eared Owl, Eastern Screech Owl, Ruby-Throated Hummingbird, Belted Kingfisher, Purple Martin, Cedar Waxwing, Great Crested Flycatcher, Fish Crow, Herring Gull, Black-Throated Blue Warbler

  1. New Mexico
The Steller's Jay moves around with bold hops of their long legs, both on the ground and on the spokelike main branches of conifers. It also has incredible spatial memories as well as rob caches and nests of other birds. They are very social and can sometimes join mixed species flocks. Not to mention, it can keep up a running commentary on events as well as instigate mobbing of predators and other dangerous intruders.

The Steller’s Jay moves around with bold hops of their long legs, both on the ground and on the spokelike main branches of conifers. It also has incredible spatial memories as well as rob caches and nests of other birds. They are very social and can sometimes join mixed species flocks. Not to mention, it can keep up a running commentary on events as well as instigate mobbing of predators and other dangerous intruders.

Official State Bird: Roadrunner

Why It Sucks: Now this is an appropriate state bird. However, I’m sure there are people in this state who aren’t pleased because they’re fans of Wiley Coyote. Perhaps New Mexico should be represented by a less controversial bird.

Best Candidate: Steller’s Jay

Why: First, it appears in most of New Mexico all year round. Second, its colorful feathers help reflect the state’s vibrant art culture that’s replete with Mexican and Southwest Native American influences. Nevertheless, it’s a very beautiful bird for a state like New Mexico.

Other Options: Chihuahuan Raven, Scaled Quail, Turkey Vulture, Zone-Tailed Hawk, Ferruginous Hawk, Cooper’s Hawk, Hen Harrier, Swainson’s Hawk, Long-Eared Owl, Great Horned Owl, White-Eared Hummingbird, Black-Chinned Hummingbird, Anna’s Hummingbird, Broad-Tailed Hummingbird, Gila Woodpecker, Western Scrub-Jay, Clark’s Nutcracker, Evening Grosbeak, Bullock’s Oriole, Red Wing Blackbird, Green-Tailed Towhee, American Dipper, Indigo Bunting, Mountain Plover, White-Throated Swift, Acorn Woodpecker, Aplomado Falcon

  1. New York
The Peregrine Falcon is the fastest animal in the world flying over 200 mph during its characteristic hunting stoop. It's also among the most widespread, seen in almost every place on earth except extreme polar regions, very high mountains, most tropical rain forests, and New Zealand.

The Peregrine Falcon is the fastest animal in the world flying over 200 mph during its characteristic hunting stoop. It’s also among the most widespread, seen in almost every place on earth except extreme polar regions, very high mountains, most tropical rain forests, and New Zealand.

Official State Bird: Eastern Bluebird

Why It Sucks: It shares the same state bird as Missouri. Not to mention, it’s not an appropriate bird to represent the state.

Best Candidate: Peregrine Falcon

Why: For one, New York was a leading state that helped restore its population after it was nearly depleted by DDT and other pesticide. Second, it’s practically the fastest animal on earth with a speed of over 200 mph. Third, it’s a very adaptable bird that has resided almost everywhere. Besides, as a city bird, they are highly beneficial to the ecosystem, especially when it comes to controlling the feral pigeon population, which are outright pests.

Other Options: Cerulean Warbler, Ring-Billed Gull, Wood Duck, Blue-Winged Teal, Common Goldeneye, Hooded Merganser, Common Loon, Double-Breasted Cormorant, Herring Gull, Great Egret, Great Blue Heron, Black-Crowned Night Heron, Yellow-Crowned Night Heron, Glossy Ibis, Cooper’s Hawk, Sharp-Shinned Hawk, American Kestrel, Blue Jay, Red-Tailed Hawk, Golden Eagle, Laughing Gull, Herring Gull, Great Black-Backed Gull, Roseate Tern, Barn Owl, Great Horned Owl, Eastern Screech Owl, Long-Eared Owl, Northern Saw-Whet Owl, Ruby-Throated Hummingbird, Red-Headed Woodpecker, Downy Woodpecker, Pileated Woodpecker, Eastern Kingbird, Loggerhead Shrike, American Crow, Common Raven, Purple Martin, Tree Swallow, Cedar Waxwing, Prothonotary Warbler, Ruby-Throated Hummingbird, Loggerhead Shrike, Horned Lark, Cape May Warbler, Great Crested Flycatcher, Black-Throated Blue Warbler

  1. North Carolina
The Ruby-throated Hummingbird is the only breeding hummingbird in eastern North America. But in terms of area, it occupies the largest breeding range in the continent. Still, it's said that people in North Carolina love this little hummingbird that many put hummingbird feeders to watch them.

The Ruby-throated Hummingbird is the only breeding hummingbird in eastern North America. But in terms of area, it occupies the largest breeding range in the continent. Still, it’s said that people in North Carolina love this little hummingbird that many put hummingbird feeders to watch them.

Official State Bird: Northern Cardinal

Why It Sucks: It’s the state bird of 7 states. Yes, it’s common and it’s pretty. But still, it’s used to represent 7 states, which means it’s time for a more appropriate state bird.

Best Candidate: Ruby-Throated Hummingbird

Why: Because it’s one of the most loved birds of the state that many people put up hummingbird feeders to watch them. Besides, it’s a beautiful bird in its own right that fits well on a postcard and it’s about time that it should be a state bird. Not to mention, it’s a way better choice than the Northern Cardinal.

Other Options: Carolina Wren, Prothonotary Warbler, Royal Tern, Carolina Chickadee, Wood Duck, Hooded Merganser, Bufflehead, Common Loon, Audubon’s Shearwater, Leach’s Storm Petrel, Brown Pelican, American White Pelican, Double-Breasted Cormorant, Anhinga, Great Cormorant, Great Egret, Great Blue Heron, Little Blue Heron, Green Heron, Snowy Egret, American White Ibis, Black Skimmer, Herring Gull, Eastern Whippoorwill, Belted Kingfisher, Pileated Woodpecker, Downy Woodpecker, Eastern Kingbird, Loggerhead Shrike, Cedar Waxwing, Blue Jay, American Crow, Purple Martin, Tree Swallow, Red Wing Blackbird, Brown Thrasher, Eastern Towhee, White-Breasted Nuthatch, Red-Shouldered Hawk, Cerulean Warbler, Great Crested Flycatcher

  1. North Dakota
The Blue-Winged Teal is among the latest ducks to migrate northward in the spring, and one of the first to migrate southward in the fall. They can also migrate long distances with some going all the way from Canada to South America. And since North Dakota is known as America's duck nursery, it would make an appropriate state bird.

The Blue-Winged Teal is among the latest ducks to migrate northward in the spring, and one of the first to migrate southward in the fall. They can also migrate long distances with some going all the way from Canada to South America. And since North Dakota is known as America’s duck nursery, it would make an appropriate state bird.

Official State Bird: Western Meadowlark

Why It Sucks: It’s the state bird of 6 states. North Dakota needs something more original since it’s said to be quite famous for its birds, particularly its ducks.

Best Candidate: Blue-Winged Teal

Why: For one, it’s one of the more common ducks in North Dakota and not in the nation (which is obviously the Mallard). Second, the state is famous among birders and hunters as America’s duck nursery. So it only makes sense that North Dakota should have a duck as its state bird.

Other Options: Nelson’s Sparrow, Chestnut-Collared Longspur, Wood Duck, American Wigeon, American Black Duck, Northern Pintail, Greater Scaup, Common Loon, Ruffed Grouse, Red-Tailed Hawk, Cooper’s Hawk, Red-Shouldered Hawk, Broad-Winged Hawk, Ferruginous Hawk, Prairie Falcon, Gyrfalcon, Bufflehead, Hooded Merganser, Great Horned Owl, Barred Owl, Red-Headed Woodpecker, Northern Shrike, Clark’s Nutcracker, Rose-Breasted Grosbeak, Bobolink, American Avocet, Yellow-Headed Blackbird, Baird’s Sparrow, Ruddy Duck, Black-Billed Magpie, Western Grebe, Eared Grebe, Double-Crested Cormorant, Upland Sandpiper

  1. Ohio
Since the Cleveland Browns decided to high tail it to Baltimore and change their name to the Ravens, I think it's only fair that Ohio gets to use the Baltimore Oriole as its state bird. From now on, it'll be known as the

Since the Cleveland Browns decided to high tail it to Baltimore and change their name to the Ravens, I think it’s only fair that Ohio gets to use the Baltimore Oriole as its state bird. From now on, it’ll be known as the “Cleveland Oriole.”

Official State Bird: Northern Cardinal

Why It Sucks: It’s the state bird of 7 states so yeah, which is as many as Ohio has presidents born there. Ohio needs a new and more original state bird.

Best Candidate: Baltimore Oriole

Why: For one, it has a similar color scheme as the Cincinnati Bengals to some extent. Second, it’s more common in Ohio than Maryland as well as well-loved there. And third, since Baltimore already took Cleveland’s football team and won 2 Super Bowls, I kind of thought it was only fair for Ohio to take Maryland’s current state bird as fair compensation. So in Ohio, this bird will now be called the “Cleveland Oriole.”

Other Options: Willow Flycatcher, Cerulean Warbler, Blue-Winged Warbler, Ruffed Grouse, Indigo Bunting, Red-Tailed Hawk, Northern Bobwhite, American Kestrel, Killdeer, Mourning Dove, Black-Billed Cuckoo, Yellow-Billed Cuckoo, Great Horned Owl, Eastern Screech Owl, Barred Owl, Common Nighthawk, Chimney Swift, Whippoorwill, Red-Headed Woodpecker, Ruby-Throated Hummingbird, Downy Woodpecker, Red-Bellied Woodpecker, Hairy Woodpecker, Northern Flicker, Pileated Woodpecker, Eastern Wood Pewee, Acadian Flycatcher, Easter Kingbird, Blue-Headed Vireo, Blue Jay, American Crow, Horned Lark, Purple Martin, Barn Swallow, White-Breasted Nuthatch, Tufted Titmouse, Blue-Gray Gnatcatcher, Cedar Waxwing, Northern Parula, Scarlet Tanager, Eastern Towhee, Rose-Breasted Grosbeak, Blue Grosbeak, Dickissel, Bobolink, Red Wing Blackbird, Common Grackle, Great Crested Flycatcher

  1. Oklahoma
The male Painted Bunting is said to be the most beautiful bird in North America. Unfortunately, this doesn't stop it from being captured as a caged bird during its wintering in Central America. Now the species is Near Threatened.

The male Painted Bunting is said to be the most beautiful bird in North America. Unfortunately, this doesn’t stop it from being captured as a caged bird during its wintering in Central America. Now the species is Near Threatened.

Official State Bird: Scissor-Tailed Flycatcher

Why It Sucks: Well, it’s a unique and interesting bird. But I’m not sure about its feathers which are kind of drab. Besides, Oklahoma can do better.

Best Candidate: Painted Bunting

Why: It is said to be the most beautiful bird in North America and it breeds in this state. Though difficult to find due to a declining population because of people in Central America, Mexico, and Cuba selling them as pets during their migration, Oklahoma is one of 4 states to have a significant population. Still, it’s a truly beautiful bird that should be on a postage stamp.

Other Options: Northern Bobwhite, Eastern Meadowlark, Mississippi Kite, Common Grackle, Cooper’s Hawk, Red-Shouldered Hawk, Lesser Prairie Chicken, Scaled Quail, Northern Harrier, Sharp-Shinned Hawk, Broad-Winged Hawk, Prairie Falcon, Common Gallinule, Barn Owl, Black-Billed Cuckoo, Greater Roadrunner, Great Horned Owl, Long-Eared Owl, Red-Headed Woodpecker, Golden-Fronted Woodpecker, Red-Bellied Woodpecker, Downy Woodpecker, Great Crested Flycatcher, Loggerhead Shrike, Purple Martin, Cedar Waxwing, Blue Grosbeak, Indigo Bunting, Red Wing Blackbird

  1. Oregon
Now the American Dipper might not look any more than a stocky gray bird. But as North America's only songbird, it has an extra eyelid to see underwater. It's also known for its domed, ball-like nest near waterways.

Now the American Dipper might not look any more than a stocky gray bird. But as North America’s only songbird, it has an extra eyelid to see underwater. It’s also known for its domed, ball-like nest near waterways.

Official State Bird: Western Meadowlark

Why It Sucks: It’s the state bird of 6 states. This means that Oregon needs a new state bird. Surely the state has more original avian wildlife than that.

Best Candidate: American Dipper

Why: It’s a mountain bird known to inhabit streams as well as the only aquatic songbird of North America. Its presence indicates good water quality as well as possesses a sweet song. Not to mention, their nests are some of the most extraordinary pieces of bird architecture ever. And like Oregon, it may not look very noteworthy but there are some things about it that make it quite interesting.

Other Options: Red-Breasted Nuthatch, Spotted Owl, Trumpeter Swan, Tufted Duck, Greater Sage Grouse, Columbian Sharp-Tailed Grouse, Mountain Quail, Western Grebe, Western Scrub-Jay, Dark-Eyed Junco, Northern Fulmar, Green Heron, Green-Tailed Towhee, Spotted Towhee, Rose-Breasted Grosbeak, Black-Headed Grosbeak, Lazuli Bunting, White-Tailed Kite, Yellow-Headed Blackbird, Gray-Crowned Rosy Finch, Swainson’s Hawk, Ferruginous Hawk, Prairie Falcon, Heerman’s Gull, Mew Gull, Ring-Billed Gull, Western Gull, Thayer’s Gull, Sabine’s Gull, Tufted Puffin, Flammulated Owl, Western Screech-Owl, Great Horned Owl, Anna’s Hummingbird, Calliope Hummingbird, Rufous Hummingbird, Red-Breasted Sapsucker, Pacific-Slope Flycatcher, Black Phoebe, Allen’s Hummingbird, Western Kingbird, Steller’s Jay, Pinyon Jay, Black-Billed Magpie, Violet-Green Swallow

  1. Pennsylvania
The Indigo Bunting is said to migrate at night, using the stars for guidance. It's also said to possess an internal clock, enabling it to adjust their angle orientation to a star, even as that star moves through the night sky.

The Indigo Bunting is said to migrate at night, using the stars for guidance. It’s also said to possess an internal clock, enabling it to adjust their angle orientation to a star, even as that star moves through the night sky.

Official State Bird: Ruffed Grouse

Why It Sucks: As a native and lifelong resident of Pennsylvania, I have never seen this bird in my life. And I’m a rural resident as well as lived in this state for 25 years. Nor do I know anyone who has seen them in this state. Besides, it’s said that only 86% of these birds live in Canada. Guess they were all killed by hunters.

Best Candidate: Indigo Bunting

Why: For one, it’s one of the more common nester in Pennsylvania and has been seen in recent years almost everywhere in the state. Second, it has a distinctive sound as well as a bright blue feather display for the males (well, their feathers reflect as blue like the sky in good lighting. In poor lighting, they look black). Third, it’s a bird that’s more or less confined to the Eastern United States during its breeding season. Besides, it’s a more beautiful bird than the Ruffed Grouse.

Other Options: Scarlet Tanager, Black-Throated Blue Warbler, Downy Woodpecker, Tufted Titmouse, White-Breasted Nuthatch, Common Grackle, Blue Jay, Red Wing Blackbird, Yellow Warbler, Common Yellowthroat, Northern Harrier, Great Blue Heron, Osprey, Red-Shouldered Hawk, Gray Catbird, Red-Headed Woodpecker, American Kestrel, Red-Tailed Hawk, Cooper’s Hawk, Peregrine Falcon, Killdeer, Red-Bellied Woodpecker, Eastern Screech-Owl, Ruby-Throated Hummingbird, Pileated Woodpecker, Rose-Breasted Grosbeak, Eastern Kingbird, Bobolink, Great Crested Flycatcher, Philadelphia Vireo, Blue-Headed Vireo, Barred Owl, Eastern Towhee, Purple Martin, Snow Bunting, Blue Grosbeak, Dickcissel, Cerulean Warbler, Hooded Warbler

  1. Rhode Island
Rhode Island may be a small state, but it's part of the summer breeding range of the Great Black-Backed Gull, which is the largest gull in the world. As one earl observer noted, “It surely seemed to be a king among the gulls, a merciless tyrant over its fellows, the largest and strongest of its tribe. No weaker gull dared to intrude upon its feudal domain.”

Rhode Island may be a small state, but it’s part of the summer breeding range of the Great Black-Backed Gull, which is the largest gull in the world. As one earl observer noted, “It surely seemed to be a king among the gulls, a merciless tyrant over its fellows, the largest and strongest of its tribe. No weaker gull dared to intrude upon its feudal domain.”

Official State Bird: Rhode Island Red

Why It Sucks: To put a short story short, it’s a freaking breed of chicken for God’s sake. Seriously, it’s unconscionable like Delaware’s.

Best Candidate: Great Black-Backed Gull

Why: It’s the largest gull in Rhode Island as well as a year-long resident in the state. And since Rhode Island is known for its beaches, it should only be fitting it be represented by a sea gull. Besides, it’s better than having a chicken as state bird.

Other Options: Herring Gull, Snow Bunting, Cedar Waxwing, Red-Bellied Woodpecker, Common Redpoll, White-Throated Sparrow, Northern Harrier, Purple Sandpiper, Ivory Gull, Common Grackle, Blue Jay, Laughing Gull, Gull-Billed Tern, Brown Noddy, Band-Rumped Storm Petrel, Killdeer, American Oystercatcher, American Black Duck

  1. South Carolina
A rare bird, the Red-Cockaded Woodpecker lives in the mature pine forests of the American South. While it pecks on wood like most woodpeckers, it specifically seeks living pines with red heart fungal disease. Such specificity of its habitat makes it extremely vulnerable to habitat loss.

A rare bird, the Red-Cockaded Woodpecker lives in the mature pine forests of the American South. While it pecks on wood like most woodpeckers, it specifically seeks living pines with red heart fungal disease. Such specificity of its habitat makes it extremely vulnerable to habitat loss.

Official State Bird: Carolina Wren

Why It Sucks: Well, it’s better than having a Northern Mockingbird which they used to have. Besides, it has “Carolina” in it. However, it’s kind of drab and found almost everywhere in the east.

Best Candidate: Red-Cockaded Woodpecker

Why: South Carolina is the best place to look for this rare species since it lives in cavities in mature pine forests. It’s listed as vulnerable. Besides, it’s prettier than the Carolina Wren.

Other Options: Audubon’s Shearwater, Brown Pelican, Wood Stork, American Black Vulture, Swallow-Tailed Kite, Mississippi Kite, Purple Gallinule, Killdeer, American Oystercatcher, Black-Necked Stilt, Carolina Chickadee, Brown Noddy, Royal Tern, Eastern Kingbird, Loggerhead Shrike, Great Crested Flycatcher, Pine Warbler, Summer Tanager, Indigo Bunting, Painted Bunting, Boat-Tailed Grackle

  1. South Dakota
The Upland Sandpiper is a shorebird of grasslands, preferring the open grassy areas of the Great Plains. Hunting and loss of habitat have caused its population to decline since the 19th century.

The Upland Sandpiper is a shorebird of grasslands, preferring the open grassy areas of the Great Plains. Hunting and loss of habitat have caused its population to decline since the 19th century.

Official State Bird: Ring-Necked Pheasant

Why It Sucks: In short, it’s an introduced Eurasian Plains bird. It was brought over to the US by English settlers who wanted to bring some old country bird to shoot at.

Best Candidate: Upland Sandpiper

Why: While most sandpipers usually favor the coast and mudflats, this bird prefers open country with tall grasses. South Dakota is in the Great Plains which is known for its grassland and prairies. Clearly these two are meant for each other. May not be as flashy as the Ring-Necked Pheasant but at least it’s a native.

Other Options: Sharp-Tailed Grouse, Blue-Winged Teal, Common Loon, Red-Tailed Hawk, Pied-Bill Grebe, Eared Grebe, Western Grebe, Lazuli Bunting, Greater Prairie Chicken, Ferruginous Hawk, Swainson’s Hawk, Downy Woodpecker

  1. Tennessee
The Wood Duck is one of the most colorful and stunningly beautiful waterfowl of North America. It is a perching duck that nests in trees or nesting boxes if available. And these nesting boxes have helped increased its breeding population, especially in Tennessee.

The Wood Duck is one of the most colorful and stunningly beautiful waterfowl of North America. It is a perching duck that nests in trees or nesting boxes if available. And these nesting boxes have helped increased its breeding population, especially in Tennessee.

Official State Bird: Northern Mockingbird

Why It Sucks: It’s the state bird of 5 states including Florida and Texas. Seriously, Tennessee needs a new state bird.

Best Candidate: Wood Duck

Why: Well, I think it provides a perfect combination for what Tennessee represents. It’s rustic enough for the Appalachian and down home country music. But the male is rather strikingly flashy enough for the music culture of Nashville and Memphis. Besides, Tennessee has a conservation program for these with people building boxes for them.

Other Options: Yellow-Throated Warbler, Louisiana Waterthrush, Double-Crested Cormorant, Great Blue Heron, Green Heron, Black-Crowned Night Heron, Red-Tailed Hawk, Cooper’s Hawk, Red-Shouldered Hawk, Tennessee Warbler, Killdeer, Great Horned Owl, Pileated Woodpecker, Barred Owl, Great Crested Flycatcher, American Kestrel, American Crow, Blue Jay, Cedar Waxwing, Scarlet Tanager, Indigo Bunting, Rose-Breasted Grosbeak, Bufflehead, Common Loon, Purple Martin, Nashville Warbler, Cerulean Warbler, Bobolink, Red Wing Blackbird, Common Grackle, Bobwhite Quail

  1. Texas
Now the Aplomado Falcon might have a small sustaining population in Southern Texas. But this is the predator most small birds fear which says a lot. Besides, this is the kind of raptor that would make a state bird Texans would be proud of.

Now the Aplomado Falcon might have a small sustaining population in Southern Texas. But this is the predator most small birds fear which says a lot. Besides, this is the kind of raptor that would make a state bird Texans would be proud of.

Official State Bird: Northern Mockingbird

Why It Sucks: It’s the state bird of 5 states which includes Florida. Seriously, Texas, you’re the state with an obnoxious ego bigger than your love for oil, firearms, and capital punishment. Your people take special pride in their cowboy culture, state flag, and history that kids all over the country have to learn it in their history class (which is important for the US to be fair but still). Not to mention, you have plenty of species of birds from which to choose from. Own it.

Best Candidate: Aplomado Falcon

Why: Let’s face it, I can go with a lot unique birds here. But I know that Northern Crested Caracara is too much identified with Mexico while the Roseate Spoonbill is a bird the people of Texas would never really be comfortable with. Now I know that this bird doesn’t have much of a range in Texas. But it’s a bird with a Spanish name and it’s said that small birds fear it more than most predators. So I think this is a bird Texans can really take pride in.

Other Options: Black-Crested Titmouse, Olive Sparrow, Cave Swallow, Roseate Spoonbill, Golden-Cheeked Warbler, Swainson’s Hawk, Aplomado Falcon, Plain Chachalaca, Lesser Goldfinch, Audubon’s Shearwater, Painted Bunting, Neotropic Cormorant, Anhinga, Magnificent Frigatebird, Reddish Egret, Tricolored Heron, White-Tailed Hawk, Zone-Tailed Hawk, Gray Hawk, Northern Crested Caracara, Purple Gallinule, Inca Dove, Grooved-Billed Ani, Elf Owl, Ringed Kingfisher, Green Kingfisher, Ladder-Backed Woodpecker, Acorn Woodpecker, Green Jay, Mexican Jay, Juniper Titmouse, Black-Crested Titmouse, Golden-Cheeked Warbler, Black-Chinned Sparrow, Varied Bunting

  1. Utah
The Snowy Plover raises 2 broods a year, sometimes 3 in places where the breeding season is long. When the chicks hatch, the female deserts her mate and her brood as well as initiates a new breeding attempt with a different mate. Yeah, I know it's kind of neglectful, but it's sometimes how nature works, man.

The Snowy Plover raises 2 broods a year, sometimes 3 in places where the breeding season is long. When the chicks hatch, the female deserts her mate and her brood as well as initiates a new breeding attempt with a different mate. Yeah, I know it’s kind of neglectful, but it’s sometimes how nature works, man.

Official State Bird: California Gull

Why It Sucks: Yes, I get it helped save Mormons from a locust swarm or so I’m told. Utahns even have a gold statue of it commemorating the occasion. But it’s a bird with “California” in its name for God’s sake. The state is not near a coastline. Besides, the bird only uses Utah as a migration stop anyway. Not to mention, I’m sure there were plenty of other birds that helped save Mormons from a locust swarm as well.

Best Candidate: Snowy Plover

Why: Well, unlike the California Gull, it actually lives in Utah to breed even if it’s just the Great Salt Lake area.  Still, this is seen as a threatened bird but the state does have a substantial population of them. Besides, it’s quite adorable as well as eats insects.

Other Options: Greater Sage-Grouse, Gambel’s Quail, Black-Billed Magpie, Western Grebe, Clark’s Grebe, Swainson’s Hawk, Wilson’s Phalarope, Red-Necked Phalarope, American Avocet, Black-Necked Stilt, Marbled Godwit, Western Sandpiper, Long-Billed Dowitcher, American White Pelican, White-Faced Ibis, Eared Grebe, Northern Goshawk, Sharp-Shinned Hawk, Ferruginous Hawk, Prairie Falcon, Broad-Tailed Hummingbird, Calliope Hummingbird, Western Kingbird, Loggerhead Shrike, Steller’s Jay, Western Scrub-Jay, Pinyon Jay, Clark’s Nutcracker, Violet-Green Swallow, Juniper Titmouse, American Dipper, Lazuli Bunting

  1. Vermont
The Black-Throated Blue Warbler is a deep forest bird of the American northeast. Of course, it's said the sexes of this bird look so different that they were originally described as 2 different species.

The Black-Throated Blue Warbler is a deep forest bird of the American northeast. Of course, it’s said the sexes of this bird look so different that they were originally described as 2 different species.

Official State Bird: Hermit Thrush

Why It Sucks: It’s nice but it doesn’t incite the kind of enthusiasm I’d have for Ben & Jerry, cheese, or Bernie Sanders.

Best Candidate: Black-Throated Blue Warbler

Why: Well, it’s adorable and colorful like some people from Vermont. Besides, it prefers upland forests with tons of old growth. And I’m sure the Green Mountain State has plenty of them. Not to mention, it’s bird that only breeds in the US northeast.

Other Options: Chestnut-Sided Warbler, Least Flycatcher, Black-Capped Chickadee, Snow Bunting, Dunlin, Purple Sandpiper, Red-Tailed Hawk, Barred Owl, Eastern Screech-Owl, Northern Saw-Whet Owl, Horned Lark, Common Redpoll, Eastern Kingbird, Black-Billed Cuckoo, American Woodcock, Veery, Blue-Headed Vireo, Scarlet Tanager, White-Throated Sparrow, Yellow-Bellied Sapsucker, Osprey, Killdeer

  1. Virginia
The Belted Kingfisher always seems to have an air of self-importance while patrolling up and down rivers and shorelines. It's also one of the few species where the female is more colorful than the male. As you've seen in most bird species, this isn't the case.

The Belted Kingfisher always seems to have an air of self-importance while patrolling up and down rivers and shorelines. It’s also one of the few species where the female is more colorful than the male. As you’ve seen in most bird species, this isn’t the case.

Official State Bird: Northern Cardinal

Why It Sucks: It’s the state bird of 7 states in the country. Surely a state like Virginia should have a more original state bird than that.

Best Candidate: Belted Kingfisher

Why: Since Virginia is a state with a lot of wetlands and waterways, then this would be a perfect state to be represented by a fishing bird. Not to mention, it’s a permanent resident in Virginia as well as a much better bird for the state than the Cardinal. And unlike the Cardinal, it has no red coat.

Other Options: Saltmarsh Sparrow, Barred Owl, Virginia Rail, Double-Crested Cormorant, Green Heron, Black-Crowned Night Heron, Yellow-Crowned Night Heron, Great Blue Heron, Black Vulture, Wood Duck, Osprey, Red-Shouldered Hawk, American Kestrel, Killdeer, American Woodcock, Laughing Gull, Great Horned Owl, Whippoorwill, Ruby-Throated Hummingbird, Pileated Woodpecker, Blue Jay, Fish Crow, Eastern Kingbird, Red-Eyed Vireo, Purple Martin, White-Breasted Nuthatch, Gray Thrasher, Cedar Waxwing, Yellow Warbler, Scarlet Tanager, Indigo Bunting, Blue Grosbeak, Red Wing Blackbird, Common Grackle, Green Heron, Tree Swallow, Northern Parula, Black-and-White Warbler, Cooper’s Hawk

  1. Washington
The Spotted Owl's status as the indicator species of old-growth forests, it's one of the most studied species in the world. Unfortunately, preservation efforts for this bird have been controversial in the Pacific Northwest, for obvious reasons. This is especially the case since those most vocal against its conservation are from the logging industry.

The Spotted Owl’s status as the indicator species of old-growth forests, it’s one of the most studied species in the world. Unfortunately, preservation efforts for this bird have been controversial in the Pacific Northwest, for obvious reasons. This is especially the case since those most vocal against its conservation are from the logging industry.

Official State Bird: Eastern Goldfinch

Why It Sucks: Though known as the “Willow” Goldfinch, it’s basically the same state bird as Iowa and New Jersey but by a different name. Nice try, Washington.

Best Candidate: Spotted Owl

Why: Let’s just say since it’s experienced a significant decline in Washington that it’s near threatened. However, conserving this bird has brought a lot of contention between conservationists, loggers, cattle grazers, and developers. A decision to reinforce a critical habitat for the owl was challenged by The Arizona Cattle Growers’ Association. Thus, because of the controversy the term, Spotted Owl has come to mean, “trivial environmental issues that do nothing but waste land for economic development as well as taxpayer money.” Still, I think saving the Spotted Owl’s habitat is worth it since “old growth” forests are almost impossible to replace. Besides, preserving these “old growth” forests doesn’t just save the owls either.

Other Options: Glaucous-Winged Gull, Evening Grosbeak, Western Tanager, Lazuli Bunting, Northern Harrier, Northern Goshawk, Western Screech-Owl, Great Horned Owl, Common Loon, Violet-Green Swallow, Yellow-Headed Blackbird, Lewis’s Woodpecker, Black-Billed Magpie, Rufous Hummingbird, Anna’s Hummingbird, Steller’s Jay, Dark-Eyed Junco, Ferruginous Hawk, Black Oystercatcher, American Avocet, Black-Necked Stilt, Great Gray Owl, Boreal Owl

  1. West Virginia
The Cerulean Warbler is the fastest declining neotropical migrant songbird. Yet, despite its problems, there seems to be declining in West Virginia a lot slower than other places. No one knows why.

The Cerulean Warbler is the fastest declining neotropical migrant songbird. Yet, despite its problems, there seems to be declining in West Virginia a lot slower than other places. No one knows why.

Official State Bird: Northern Cardinal

Why It Sucks: It’s the state bird of 7 states. Now I’m sure West Virginia might have some good excuse on this since the state is an environmental disaster area. But still, I don’t imagine a Northern Cardinal when I think about West Virginia. Besides, it’s the state bird of Virginia as well which West Virginia split from during the American Civil War because it wanted nothing to do with the Confederacy.

Best Candidate: Cerulean Warbler

Why: It’s a common breeding bird in West Virginia despite the fact it’s the fastest declining songbird in North America as well as prefers mature forests with closed canopies as its habitat. But despite West Virginia’s environmental problems, these birds seem to love it there that they return there to breed every year.

Other Options: Swainson’s Warbler, Rusty Blackbird, Northern Bobwhite, Black Scoter, Semipalmated Sandpiper, Buff-Breasted Sandpiper, Chimney Swift, Olive-Sided Flycatcher, Golden-Winged Warbler, Bachman’s Sparrow, Henslow’s Sparrow, Long-Tailed Duck, Bicknell’s Thrush

  1. Wisconsin
The Trumpeter Swan is the largest North American waterfowl. However, while the commercial trade in swan skins and excessive hunting have led to significant decline, populations have been increasing where they've been introduced. Wisconsin being one of those states that has.

The Trumpeter Swan is the largest North American waterfowl. However, while the commercial trade in swan skins and excessive hunting have led to significant decline, populations have been increasing where they’ve been introduced. Wisconsin being one of those states that has.

Official State Bird: American Robin

Why It Sucks: It’s the state bird of 3 states. This means that Wisconsin needs a new state bird.

Best Candidate: Trumpeter Swan

Why: Well, it’s one of the most notable native birds of North America. Besides, Wisconsin had a successful recovery for them since the 1980s which has been quite successful. Besides, it doesn’t look half bad on postcards.

Other Options: Golden-Winged Warbler, Sandhill Crane, Cooper’s Hawk, Downy Woodpecker, Hairy Woodpecker, Red-Headed Woodpecker, Killdeer, Purple Martin, Common Loon, Common Merganser, Bobolink, Greater Prairie Chicken, Cerulean Warbler, Henslow’s Sparrow, Osprey, Red-Shouldered Hawk, Indigo Bunting, Whippoorwill, Dickcissel, Blue-Winged Teal, Eastern Kingbird, Tree Swallow, Blue Jay, Rose-Breasted Grosbeak, Whooping Crane

  1. Wyoming
The Ferruginous Hawk is the raptor of the open country and the largest hawk in North America. It is often mistaken for an eagle due to its size, proportions, and behavior. It's also the most adaptable nester of the raptors as well.

The Ferruginous Hawk is the raptor of the open country and the largest hawk in North America. It is often mistaken for an eagle due to its size, proportions, and behavior. It’s also the most adaptable nester of the raptors as well.

Official State Bird: Western Meadowlark

Why It Sucks: It’s the state bird of 6 states. Obviously, Wyoming probably has a bird diversity that gives it no excuse.

Best Candidate: Ferruginous Hawk

Why: Well, Wyoming is home to all kinds of cool wildlife that I can’t think of a better bird to represent it than the largest hawk in North America. Besides, hawks are cool.

Other Options: Greater Sage-Grouse, Barrow’s Goldeneye, Common Loon, Swainson’s Hawk, Pinyon Jay, Western Scrub-Jay, Steller’s Jay, Great Horned Owl, Boreal Owl, Spotted Owl, Lewis’s Woodpecker, Loggerhead Shrike, Violet-Green Swallow, Snow Bunting, Lazuli Bunting, Prairie Falcon, Great Gray Owl, Black-Billed Magpie, Western Tanager

Rules for Dealing with Wild Animals

1. Wild animals are not your friends. Do not treat them like pets or your buddies. The guy from Grizzly Man learned that lesson the hard way.

I'm sure any other situation involving a grizzly at the dinner table is bound to end horribly. Yes, old Bearikins may soon have the best Thanksgiving of his life. Everyone else will probably have their last.

I’m sure any other situation involving a grizzly at the dinner table is bound to end horribly. Yes, old Bearikins may soon have the best Thanksgiving of his life. Everyone else will probably have their last.

2. Unless handling wild animals is part of your job, keep a reasonable distance from them and interfere with their lives as little as possible. If you don’t bother them, they won’t bother you.

3. Avoid close contact with wild animals whenever possible. Never approach them under any circumstances. Do not touch or try to hold them. But if you must and it’s safe enough, always wear gloves, particularly a pair you’d find at the hardware store (garden gloves come to mind). Get too close to a wild animal and it will attack you.

4. Do not make a wild animal feel threatened or stressed. A threatened or stressed animal is a dangerous animal and will attack you.

5. Do not disturb, chase, startle, anger, tease, or harass a wild animal. All you’ll do is provoke the wild animal into feeling threatened and it will attack you. If you do this, you are a moron and deserve no sympathy for what happened to you. Such actions are especially stupid if the wild animal isn’t alone, particularly if accompanied by offspring. Whatever you do, do not be a dick to wild animals under any circumstances. Unlike humans in society where assholes are tolerated, wild animal will absolutely not tolerate your dickishness toward them and won’t give a shit about sending you to the emergency room.

6. Though baby wild animals may be cute and cuddly, do not go anywhere near them, touch them, or try to hold them. Trying to pick up a baby wild animal is an easy way to get its parents to attack you and they’re usually not far behind. If you do this, you are an idiot. If there’s a chance that a baby wild animal is an orphan, observe it for 24 hours to make sure the animal is truly alone. If their parents don’t show up within that time period, call animal control. Don’t ever try to raise it yourself unless you really know what you’re doing (by that I mean if dealing with animals is part of your job). For particular animals follow these steps:

Awww, look at the cute cougar babies. Don't their faces just make you want to take one of them home with you? But remember that trying to pet or hold one of these adorable cubs is a quick way for its mother to send you to the ER and/or ICU. Yeah, you'd be an idiot to try to get one of these adorable kitties.

Awww, look at the cute cougar babies. Don’t their faces just make you want to take one of them home with you? But remember that trying to pet or hold one of these adorable cubs is a quick way for its mother to send you to the ER and/or ICU. Yeah, you’d be an idiot to try to get one of these adorable kitties.

a. Birds: Pick up the bird with gloved hands and try to return it back in its nest. If you can’t, make one by putting leaves, grass, or soft cloth into a small box and place it where you found the bird. Observed for 24 hours to see if it’s cared for. If not, then call animal control. However, if a baby bird has all its feathers and resembles a miniature adult, leave it alone. It’s a fledgling who has permanently left the nest. The parents are watching them from trees and bringing it food.

b. Ducklings/Goslings: With gloved hands, place the bird as close to the flock as you can. If the flock accepts the duckling/gosling, everything should be fine. If not, call animal control.

c. Deer Fawns: Fawns are often left alone while their parents forage. But if the fawn looks cold, hungry, diseased, confused, or threatened, call animal control.

d. Rabbits: If the baby rabbit is at least 4-5 inches long, has fur, open eyes, and hopping around, leave it alone. It’s old enough to be out of the nest. If not, then take it to the nest but hold it with gloved hands. If the nest has been dug up and there are surviving rabbits, place it back into the hole with gloved hands, cover them with the nesting materials (which should consist of grass and fur). Observe for 24-48 hours. If a parent doesn’t return and you’re sure it’s abandoned, call animal control.

7. Do not feed wild animals or leave any food out for them (except bird feeders). All this does is encourage close contact that gets them too used to people as well as increases the potential for predators, accidents, and attacks. A wild animal that’s lost its natural fear for humans is more aggressive and dangerous, especially when hungry. Also makes them fat and sometimes dependent on such food that some may never learn to find native food on their own. Use proper garbage disposal and food storage as well as treat garbage as you’d treat food. Keep a clean camp and wash all cooking and eating equipment after use (as well as change clothes after dinner if you’re the one cooking it). Nevertheless, despite what pop culture tells you, it’s generally seen a bad idea to feed bread crumbs to birds, especially geese and ducks.

There's a reason why feeding wild animals is illegal. Essentially it gets them too used to people which can lead to attracting other animals as well as attacks. A wild animal that's lost its fear of humans is dangerous and more aggressive, especially when hungry. While camping, always use proper food storage and garbage disposal as well as keep a clean camp.

There’s a reason why feeding wild animals is illegal. Essentially it gets them too used to people which can lead to attracting other animals as well as attacks. A wild animal that’s lost its fear of humans is dangerous and more aggressive, especially when hungry. While camping, always use proper food storage and garbage disposal as well as keep a clean camp.

8. Be familiar with wild animals and how they normally act. This table gives you plenty of the reliable information you need on normal wild animal behavior.

Wild-Animals-Table

9. If you see an injured animal, call animal control and observe it until help arrives. Do not try to help it unless it’s safe to do so. Potential dangers include being scratched, bitten, and/or exposed to disease. But be warned that injured wild animals are often scared and may be aggressive when approached. You may also lead the wounded animal to injure itself.

a. If the wild animal is ensnared, trapped, tangled, do not try to fee the animal yourself. It is probably stressed and could be aggressive. Just call animal control to report its location and take pictures of the scene if possible.

b. If it’s safe to touch it, pick up the wild animal to contain it using gloved hands under these steps, if it needs transported to a wildlife rehab center:

i. Line a box with holes or a pet carrier with clean, soft cloth, grasses, and other suitable bedding materials (like shredded newspaper).

ii. With gloved hands, place the animal in the container.

iii. Place the container on a heating pad set to its lowest setting, or wrap a bottle of hot water in a towel and place it in a container for warmth.

iv. Secure the container so the animal can’t jump out, which might cause further injury.

v. Keep the container in a quiet, dark place. Do not feed or water the animal.

10. If you run into close contact with a wild animal, please accord to the following:

Yes, I'm sure Smokey the Bear is more intense in person. Nevertheless, when you encounter a bear, remain calm, give it a way to escape, and slowly and quietly back away. Don't make eye contact, don't run, and try to look intimidating. If all else fails, use bear pepper spray.

Yes, I’m sure Smokey the Bear is more intense in person. Nevertheless, when you encounter a bear, remain calm, give it a way to escape, and slowly and quietly back away. Don’t make eye contact, don’t run, and try to look intimidating. If all else fails, use bear pepper spray.

a. Don’t Panic: Panicking can often lead a wild animal to misinterpret your conduct as an offensive action and take a defensive stance in self-defense (like attack you). Most wild animals won’t attack you unless they feel threatened, have young, or injured/sick. Remain calm, even if you have to take a deep breath.

b. Give the Animal a Way to Escape: If a wild animal has a way to leave or escape the area, it will do so. This is one of the sanest and safest actions you can do, especially if the animal is a large mother with babies. Cornering the animal and having to fight it is not just dangerous, but also highly stupid. This is especially the case if the animal is bear, mountain lion, or an adult moose in which a fight could mean a very long trip to the ER or the ICU, if you’re lucky. If not, then death and a very stupid one at that. These animals are bigger, stronger, as well as have claws, strong teeth, hooves or horns to defend themselves. So avoiding a fight with a wild animal is just common sense.

c. Slowly and Quietly Back Away: Do this while keeping an eye on the wild animal until you are safely away. The more distance between you and the animal, the better. Try to avoid eye contact if possible. Any sudden moves might startle the animal into defensive action. Running may provoke some animals to chase you and you can never outrun them. Also, only climb a tree only if you’re sure the animal can’t and only when it’s far away. Only use active defense as a last resort like mace or bear spray.

d. For specific wild animals, please follow these guidelines:

i. Coyote/Wolf: Use a loud and authoritative voice to frighten the animal. Throw rocks near the animal (but not at them) and become as threatening as possible. This will show dominance and intimidate them. As for wolves, you might want to keep your eyes cast downward and your mouth closed. If it bites, don’t yank it away but try to make it gag or do something to break its clamped jaw. However, a healthy wolf won’t usually attack people. And most usually attack either due to extreme hunger or disease.

ii. Snake: Remain calm and still until it’s gone. Keep any pets and children close to your side. Step backwards slowly, and only turn your back when you are more than 6 feet away from the snake. Fortunately, they’d rather avoid lashing out and will let you know when they feel threatened. However, whatever you do, do not throw anything in an attempt to kill it or else it will move quickly and strike fiercely.

iii. Bear: Control your pets/kids. Quiet any noise making or aggressive movements. Do not run. Avoid looking like prey. Make yourself look intimidating by waving arms and making noises. The bear should quickly leave the area. If it’s a Grizzly, try to cover your head and the back of your neck with your hands either in a fetal position or lying flat and don’t make eye contact. If that doesn’t work, you might want to climb a tree, make noise, and grab the bear spray. If it’s a Black Bear, don’t climb a tree.

iv. Opossum: An opossum is usually docile and won’t attack unless provoked or cornered. Keep pets on short leashes and get out of the area as quickly as possible.

v. Deer: Deer don’t generally pose a threat unless they feel threatened themselves. Keep pets close to you as you walk past them. They should move along. If they make any aggressive movements or sounds, turn away and leave the area.

vi. Mountain Lion: Don’t run, turn your back, and crouch down. Stand tall and authoritatively, make eye contact, use a calm and firm voice, and slowly back away to make sure you aren’t a threat to their safety. If that doesn’t convince the animal to leave, try to scare it off. If it attacks, fight it with everything you got.

vii. Moose: If it looks upset, try to hide behind something big and not too bushy. But leave room to run if the moose continues the chase. Fortunately, most moose attacks are “bluff attacks” that tend to be over before they begin.

viii. Crocodile/Alligator: Avoid croc/gator infested waters as much as possible. If one approaches you, run away as much as possible. If it attacks you, fight back but be sure to hit the eyes, nostrils, or ears. If it bites and you have escaped, seek medical help immediately.

11. If you see a wild animal acting outside its normal behavior stay the hell away from them and find shelter as quickly as possible before calling animal control (especially if the animal is acting disoriented, confused, or shows unprovoked aggressiveness). Make sure your kids and pets are inside as well. Don’t try to help it in any way because a sick animal may not be in its right mind and can be very dangerous. This might be especially obvious if its frothing at the mouth, but sometimes even just bizarre or unprovoked aggressive behavior can be enough. If you, your kids, or your pets aren’t so lucky, follow these steps:

Of course, I'm sure this raccoon doesn't since it looks relatively normal. However, yeah, raccoons do tend to be carriers of all kinds of diseases. If you see one showing unprovoked aggression, call animal control and seek shelter immediately.

Of course, I’m sure this raccoon doesn’t since it looks relatively normal. However, yeah, raccoons do tend to be carriers of all kinds of diseases. If you see one showing unprovoked aggression, call animal control and seek shelter immediately.

a. You, Children, and Other Humans: Either get to a hospital or call 9/11 for an ambulance if the wound is bleeding seriously or if you suspect that the animal might have rabies. If you aren’t sure it’s serious, call your doctor or animal control. Call animal control to remove the animal if it’s still at the premises and have it tested for rabies and other diseases. Wash minor wounds (like scratches) under running water and apply antibiotic ointment and dressing. Also, you might want to be up to date on vaccinations, just to be safe. If it’s a snakebite, call 9/11 for an ambulance, gently wash the injury, splint bitten extremities, and keep the area at approximately the level of the heart. Keep the person calm (if it’s not you). Don’t cut, suck, apply a constricting band, or apply cold to a bit from a pit viper (like a rattlesnake, copperhead, or cottonmouth). For a bite from an elapid snake (like a coral snake), apply an elastic roller bandage after washing the wound.

b. Pets: Using gloved hands, wash the wounds with a hose. Don’t touch the wounds with your bare hands. Immediately call the vet, even if the wound doesn’t seem serious. If the wild animal is still present, call animal control to remove it. Have your pet re-vaccinated immediately, even if its vaccinations are up to date. If expired, your pet may be held for observation. Also, remember that your pets can’t be treated after they’ve been infected with rabies so its important to keep their vaccinations up to date.

12.Try to keep pets from chasing or harassing wild animals as much as possible. Also, keep children close and within your immediate sight at all times outdoors (especially when the nearest shelter is a long distance away. If you’re at home, just keep the small children accompanied. But keep at least one door unlocked in the house {particularly the backdoor} and teach your school age children about common sense). Never leave small children alone with a wild animal regardless of its demeanor.

13. Avoid carcasses in wilderness areas as much as possible (and by that I mean hiking trails, forests, parks, campgrounds, and nature reserves). Report dead animals to the nearest ranger station or animal control. After all, any animal carcass you find in the wilderness could easily be a carnivore’s leftover lunch. Some animals are known to defend their food sources violently and won’t be happy to see you disturb them.

14. Don’t hike alone or at night. Wild animals are less likely to attack groups than solo hikers, since groups are less noisy. Also, while many animals can be active at any time a lot of them are active at dawn, dusk, or night.

Many wild animals tend to be active at night like this opossum. Of course, this might explain why I have often found so many of their carcasses on roadsides. Also explains why I find deer tracks on the roads during some of my morning walks.

Many wild animals tend to be active at night like this opossum. Of course, this might explain why I have often found so many of their carcasses on roadsides. Also explains why I find deer tracks on the roads during some of my morning walks.

15. While hiking, stay on the trails at all times and travel quietly if need be. As long as you stay away from a wild animal’s habitat, it will not bother you. However, make noise if it’s in bear country, especially when traveling upwind, near streams and waterfalls, or when you can’t see the path ahead. Remember that you are on their turf and you need to respect that, especially since there are a lot animals that can be rather territorial. Yeah, you’d want to keep off their lawn, indeed.

16. Be alert for any possible sign of wild animals nearby such as droppings, diggings, footprints, scratch marks, rocks rolled over, or tree logs torn apart. Also be careful not to step directly on rocks or logs for you don’t want to anger a poisonous snake.

17. When traveling by foot, let someone know where you’re going and when you plan to return. Also, travel with a cell phone and first aid kit at all times as well as keep your pet on a leash.

18. Whenever in a recreational area, always follow local regulations. Always listen to park rangers and game wardens as well as follow their advice.

19. Be familiar with the types of wild animals in your geographical location and know how to avoid getting attacked by them.

20. Be familiar with wild animals’ sex and reproduction cycles and behaviors, particularly mating and birthing seasons. Also pay attention on their familial patterns. Some species may be monogamous while others may not. But it’s not unusual for some animals to be more aggressive and less fearless during their mating seasons (often in the fall), particularly if they’re males trying to mate with as many females as possible (though females during this time aren’t exactly docile either). And it’s not uncommon for female animals to be quite aggressive while raising their young, especially if she’s rearing them alone. Let’s just say the rutting season is basically Pon Farr for deer, which makes them especially dangerous around this time, particularly antlered males.

During the mating seasons, wild animals can be more aggressive than usual, particularly if they're stag males or males trying to mate with as many females as possible. For some, to say that comparing their mating seasons to Pon Farr isn't much of a stretch. This is especially the case with the deer rut in which the male antlered deer compete with each other for mates through sparing.

During the mating seasons, wild animals can be more aggressive than usual, particularly if they’re stag males or males trying to mate with as many females as possible. For some, to say that comparing their mating seasons to Pon Farr isn’t much of a stretch. This is especially the case with the deer rut in which the male antlered deer compete with each other for mates through sparing. And yes, the fights can get particularly nasty.

21. Just because an animal won’t or can’t eat you, don’t assume it won’t hurt you. There’s a reason why predators tend to prey on the most vulnerable of any given herd. They know that trying to take down the strongest animals for meat is a quick way to get severely injured or killed. Not to mention, anyone who’s had regular contact with domesticated livestock will know of at least one incident of a temperamental cow or horse sending someone to the emergency room. So just because the wild animal in question is a vegetarian, don’t assume that it’s cute, cuddly, and friendly. Because there are plenty of large herbivores that are extremely territorial and will kill you deader than dead. Hippos are among the most dangerous animals in Africa along with elephants, cape buffalo, rhinos, and giraffes (which can kill lions with their kicks). In North America, moose and bison are said to attack and kill more people than bears and wolves. Also, take into account that the vast majority of unprovoked bird attacks on people are from herbivorous birds. Thus, remember that an animal doesn’t need to be hungry to want to kill you.

If you think that the most dangerous wild animals are predators, think again. Herbivores can be just as nasty. For instance, while deer are seen as the gentle giants of the forest, they're actually extremely dangerous, especially during rutting season. I call this picture Bambi's Revenge. Yes, he will pay dearly.

If you think that the most dangerous wild animals are predators, think again. Herbivores can be just as nasty. For instance, while deer are seen as the gentle giants of the forest, they’re actually extremely dangerous, especially during rutting season. I call this picture Bambi’s Revenge. Yes, he will pay dearly.

22. Just because an wild animal seems friendly as well as fluffy and adorable, don’t assume it won’t hurt you. It may not look dangerous, but even the friendliest wild animals can turn pretty unfriendly pretty damn fast. And many of the most adorable and harmless looking creatures can be anything but, especially if you do something to piss them off. You may laugh during the killer rabbit scene in Monty Python and the Holy Grail, but remember that real wild rabbits can be anything but sweet, innocent, and docile.

Real rabbits may not be as lethal as you might see in Monty Python and the Holy Grail. But they are hardly docile creatures and their teeth can inflict quite a bit of damage. It's said that male rabbits will rape and castrate rival males to secure breeding rights. They also headbutt and their kicks pack quite a bit of power for their size. Unfortunately, for this cat, I'm afraid the Holy Hand Grenade at Antioch wasn't at its disposal.

Real rabbits may not be as lethal as you might see in Monty Python and the Holy Grail. But they are hardly docile creatures and their teeth can inflict quite a bit of damage. It’s said that male rabbits will rape and castrate rival males to secure breeding rights. They also headbutt and their kicks pack quite a bit of power for their size. Unfortunately, for this cat, I’m afraid the Holy Hand Grenade at Antioch wasn’t at its disposal.

23. If you see a large wild animal on the road while driving, make sure you give them the right of way by slowing down and stopping at a reasonable distance. They’ll usually be quick about crossing the street. Nevertheless, please drive carefully and not hit something. Not only will you avoid a crash and save your life but you won’t risk the animal’s life either. And the bigger the animal, the worse the consequences will be if you hit it.

Large wild animals can pose serious traffic problems. Thus, if you see any large wild animal on the road, remember to slow down and give it the right of way. Let's just say it'll save your life. Here's some more tips about sharing the road with wild animals.

Large wild animals can pose serious traffic problems. Thus, if you see any large wild animal on the road, remember to slow down and give it the right of way. Let’s just say it’ll save your life. Here’s some more tips about sharing the road with wild animals.

24. Any wild animal with utterly zero fear of humans isn’t one you’d want to run into, especially if it has a really nasty temper. Wild animals that aren’t afraid of humans are less likely to run away at close range, which is very bad and most of the time aren’t friendly at all.

25. Don’t ever try to domesticate a wild animal no matter how cute or seemingly docile it may be. Yes, you might hear all the stories about how people raised wild animals in their homes. But there’s a reason why wild animals don’t make great pets despite how and cuddly some of them may be. Think about it.

Yes, raccoons are adorable, I get it. But if we could successfully domesticate, we certainly would keep them as pets. Unfortunately, while raccoons have no fear of humans, they have very nasty tempers and their teeth and claws can kill pets as well as send people to the emergency room. They're also the biggest carrier of rabies in North America. So no, they don't make very good pets whatsoever. Too bad the Japanese didn't learn from the Americans on this which gave rise to raccoon infestation in their country.

Yes, raccoons are adorable, I get it. But if we could successfully domesticate, we certainly would keep them as pets. Unfortunately, while raccoons have no fear of humans, they have really, really nasty tempers and their teeth and claws can kill pets as well as send people to the emergency room. They’re also the biggest carrier of rabies in North America. So no, they don’t make very good pets whatsoever. Too bad the Japanese didn’t learn from the Americans on this which gave rise to raccoon infestation in their country. This was because of an anime raccoon gave rise to a fad of keeping these animals as pets. Seriously, Japan, stop being suckers for cuteness!

26. Remember that animal control is your friend. If you see wild animal acting weird and aren’t sure what to do, call them. They will know what’s going on and will go in if there’s a nuisance.

27. Despite what you might see in popular media pertaining to wild animals, don’t assume that they behave that way in real life. This is especially the case with seemingly sweet and innocent animals presented as cute, fluffy, and adorable. Nor should you assume that all animals exist in harmony and wholesomeness (which for those who’ve seen the PBS show Nature, it’s certainly not the case since it’s guaranteed to feature animals mating and killing things in most episodes. This is especially the case when a predator is the featured animal on the episode).

28. If a small wild animal is found in your house, open your doors to let it out. The sooner you give it a way to escape the better. However, if it bites you, keep it inside and call animal control because it might need to be tested for disease.

29. If you want to take a picture of a wild animal at close range, remember that cameras are equipped with zoom lenses. So take advantage of that.

When you want to take pictures of animals, remember to keep a reasonable distance and use the zoom lens. Of course, I'm not sure about this guy's situation. I mean birds can fly pretty fast.

When you want to take pictures of animals, remember to keep a reasonable distance and use the zoom lens. Of course, I’m not sure about this guy’s situation. I mean birds can fly pretty fast.

30. Never take your pets camping or hiking with you, especially if it’s in an area with wolves or other predators. Thus, your pet might become a liability since they’re more vulnerable to animal attacks than humans. There’s a reason why pets aren’t allowed in National Parks and other recreation areas.

31. Remember that just because an animal looks like it’s suffering and needs to be rescued, doesn’t necessarily mean you should interfere. Sometimes it’s best to let nature do its thing and leave it alone, especially if it can be some predator’s tasty meal or your pet’s. So you might not want to bother with Fido killing that baby bunny.

32. Remember that even if you do everything right, this doesn’t guarantee that you won’t attract a wild animal’s attention. Any action you make can make an animal feel threatened or startled, even if you don’t intend to do so. Even wildlife experts have experienced this.

33. Be aware that just because a normally nocturnal animal is active during the day, doesn’t mean it’s “sick” especially if it’s just minding its own business. They may be out during the day for several reasons such as looking for food, during spring and early summer when they’re out looking for food for their young, being habituated in their environment and the people around them, or simply going from one place to another. So if you see a raccoon out during the day and acting like any typical raccoon would otherwise, then leave it alone. It probably doesn’t have rabies.

Though raccoons are better known for being active at night, it's not uncommon for some to be out in the daytime. So if a raccoon is out and about during the day and doesn't seem to show any other abnormal behavior, it's probably not rabies.

Though raccoons are better known for being active at night, it’s not uncommon for some to be out in the daytime. So if a raccoon is out and about during the day and doesn’t seem to show any other abnormal behavior, it’s probably not rabies.

34. If you see a wild animal with young, stay the hell away from them. Even the friendliest wild animals can be especially ferocious when it comes to protecting their kids. Mess with any wild animal parent and their kids and you’ll be in for a world of pain.

For the love of God, if you get between a mama bear and her cubs, you will be in for a world of pain. And no, I'm not exaggerating. Do not go anywhere near a bear and her cubs. Seriously, you will live to regret it in the emergency room, if you're lucky.

For the love of God, if you get between a mama bear and her cubs, you will be in for a world of pain. And no, I’m not exaggerating. Do not go anywhere near a bear and her cubs. Seriously, you will live to regret it in the emergency room, if you’re lucky.

35. Just because an wild animal is cute, doesn’t mean it’s nice and wants you to touch it, especially if it’s a baby or juvenile.

36. When hiking, walking, or traveling in a recreational area or anywhere else, stay out of wildlife areas you know are dangerous.

37. Just because you don’t see wild animals, don’t assume that they aren’t close by. Sometimes wild animals will pop up around times when you’re least likely to see them (like during the night).

38. Small wild animals may not be as dangerous as their larger counterparts, but don’t  assume that they won’t hurt you. Because even they can be quite vicious if they feel they need to. And there are plenty of animals willing to take on anybody several times their size like rabbits.

39. Unless you’re hunting, then avoid carrying a firearm outdoors, despite what your NRA gun nut neighbor may say. If firing a gun doesn’t instantly kill the wild animal, then it will get even more enraged and attack you. When in close contact with a wild animal, the last thing you want is to make it madder, especially if it’s a predator. For instance, 50 percent of those who use a firearm against a grizzly end up being severely mauled.” Use bear pepper spray instead, which will greatly inhibit its ability to fight.

Unless you intend to hunt at the wilderness recreation area, then leave your guns at home. Of course, you won't see a bear with a handgun. However, unless you kill it at the first shot, shooting at a wild animal will just make it madder and willing to attack. It's a reason why firearms are banned in many parks and for good reason. Use bear pepper spray or mace instead.

Unless you intend to hunt at the wilderness recreation area, then leave your guns at home. Of course, you won’t see a bear with a handgun. However, unless you kill it at the first shot, shooting at a wild animal will just make it madder and willing to attack. It’s a reason why firearms are banned in many parks and for good reason. Use bear pepper spray or mace instead.

40. If you’re in a wilderness in an outdoor recreation area you’re not familiar with, consider hiring a guide if you can afford it. At least a guide will know what to do. If you can’t, then consider getting a map and/or guidebook. Better yet, buy the map and guidebook first before hiring the guide.

This Old Birdhouse

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA

Seeing birds in one’s back yard can be seen as a pleasant sight for many during the spring and summer when all the birds seem to be fluttering around after spending the winter down south (though maybe the South likes the winter birds as well). Of course, there are plenty of ways to draw their attention such as bird baths as well as bird feeders. One particular feeder I have in mind is a bird house, which not only feeds them but also can house a nest now and then in some cases (for instance, they have bluebird houses). But bird houses are mostly bird feeders. Still, when it comes to feeding birds, people have been making birdhouses for a very long time, perhaps centuries. Now there are plenty of bird houses out there since many people tend to uses them as a craft project as well since it tends to involve some easy DIY know-how. I mean most of the time it involves putting a hole in a piece of wood, as well as nailing a bunch of wood pieces into a small house. And it’s inevitable that many tend to have certain finishing touches on them. So without further adieu, I welcome you to enjoy the wonders in the world of bird houses.

1. We begin with a look at the historical Franciscan bird missions of the American Southwest.

Though the Franciscan birds tend to be seen as benevolent to the indigenous birds at times, it's said that many of these bird missionaries tended to destroy a lot of indigenous cultures in the process. Then again, I heard that bird small pox tend to kill more indigenous birds than anything else.

Though the Franciscan birds tend to be seen as benevolent to the indigenous birds at times, it’s said that many of these bird missionaries tended to destroy a lot of indigenous cultures in the process. Then again, I heard that bird small pox tend to kill more indigenous birds than anything else.

2. In the winter, instead of flying south for warmer climates, your local birds could spend the winter in this swanky ski lodge built just for them.

Nevertheless, I hear they charge their avian lodgers fortune in birdseed. Maybe flying south for a winter in Boca Raton is a cheaper bet, but I'm sure the rates aren't much better there either.

Nevertheless, I hear they charge their avian lodgers fortune in birdseed. Maybe flying south for a winter in Boca Raton is a cheaper bet, but I’m sure the rates aren’t much better there either.

3. If your local birds want a more rustic look, this house is for them.

Now I think this might be a bird farmhouse made from scrap wood. But I'm sure it'll have plenty of room with stores of birdseed in the pantry.

Now I think this might be a bird farmhouse made from scrap wood. But I’m sure it’ll have plenty of room with stores of birdseed in the pantry. Not sure if any hill billy birds live there though.

4. For their birdseeding needs, your fine feathered friends can just stop at this avian general store.

I'm sure this place has everything your birds need for the winter whether it's seed, bugs, potential prey, hardware, clothes, and what not. They'll find it all here.

I’m sure this place has everything your birds need for the winter whether it’s seed, bugs, potential prey, hardware, clothes, and what not. They’ll find it all here.

5. When it comes to avian accommodations, nothing makes birds feel more at home than having a little log cabin in the woods.

Now for the bird wishing to get out from the cold and start a homestead, this little log cabin is the perfect fit, when there are trees around. Still, has a rustic feel to it.

Now for the bird wishing to get out from the cold and start a homestead, this little log cabin is the perfect fit, when there are trees around. Still, has a rustic feel to it like you’d see in a fancy set of Lincoln logs. It’s popularly noted that Aviraham Lincoln was born in a log cabin.

6. While putting real flowers on a birdhouse might be impractical, they’d certainly appreciate the floral artwork.

Now this is a lovely little birdhouse I wouldn't mind having in my yard. It seems so picturesque, especially the floral wreath around the hole.

Now this is a lovely little birdhouse I wouldn’t mind having in my yard. It seems so picturesque, especially the floral wreath around the hole.

7. If you’re living in the world of Dr. Seuss, these birdhouses are just the ticket.

And Lord knows how many birds you get to see coming to these houses in Dr. Seuss stories. However, it's kind of disappointing that these houses won't get the kind of birds you'd see in Horton Hears a Who.

And Lord knows how many birds you get to see coming to these houses in Dr. Seuss stories. However, it’s kind of disappointing that these houses won’t get the kind of birds you’d see in Horton Hears a Who.

8. Do any migrating birds need a place to eat during their journey south, then I’m sure they’ll enjoy this avian diner.

Of course, while they specialize in hamburgers and hotdogs, I'm sure they have plenty of other entrees migrating birds would love.  Not sure if they have any bird waitresses on roller skates or avian juteboxes though.

Of course, while they specialize in hamburgers and hotdogs, I’m sure they have plenty of other entrees migrating birds would love. Not sure if they have any bird waitresses on roller skates or avian juteboxes though.

9. Of course, there are quite a few birds who belong to some kind of fraternal lodge order.

This one seems to belong to the Moose Lodge but I'm not sure whether the bears are a lodge order or not. Then again, they could be talking about actual bears.

This one seems to belong to the Moose Lodge but I’m not sure whether the bears are a lodge order or not. Then again, they could be talking about actual bears.

10. If you have any fishing birds in your area, this bait shop would be of service to their needs.

Of course, most fishing birds don't need a bait and tackle shop to catch fish. They just catch them with their beaks as God intended. Still, it's pretty clever.

Of course, most fishing birds don’t need a bait and tackle shop to catch fish. They just catch them with their beaks as God intended. Still, it’s pretty clever.

11. For the birds who think the ski lodge is cramped, say hello to this wooden bird castle complex.

Now this seems like a castle because it just appears so big from other birdhouses. But if it was in better proportion it would resemble something like a Victorian house. Still, it was either sitting in the garage for long periods or someone just had too much time on their hands.

Now this seems like a castle because it just appears so big from other birdhouses. But if it was in better proportion it would resemble something like a Victorian house. Still, it was either sitting in the garage for long periods or someone just had too much time on their hands.

12. Every bird should enjoy the comforts of home now and then.

Now this birdhouse has a  nice stairwell as well as some of the latest styles of avian furniture, blinds, and a a swimming pool. Yes, this is the best birdhouse life has to offer.

Now this birdhouse has a nice stairwell as well as some of the latest styles of avian furniture, blinds, and a a swimming pool. Yes, this is the best birdhouse life has to offer.

13. If the mission style doesn’t suit your local Christian birds, you can always go with an avian meeting house.

Yes, I'm sure there will be some avian gospel choir in their singing hymns to Cheepsus. Okay, maybe not that, but it has a ringing bell for avian services.

Yes, I’m sure there will be some avian gospel choir in their singing hymns to Cheepsus. Okay, maybe not that, but it has a ringing bell for avian nondenominational services.

14. May I present to you, the Grand Birdepest Hotel.

Sorry, but I couldn't resist that pun. But still, I hope it has those interwar luxury interior accommodations and nothing resembling anything from the post WWII era. Still, I'm sure it houses a lot of birds during the seasonal migration periods, particularly rich ones.

Sorry, but I couldn’t resist that pun. But still, I hope it has those interwar luxury interior accommodations and nothing resembling anything from the post WWII era. Still, I’m sure it houses a lot of birds during the seasonal migration periods, particularly rich ones with greedy backstabbing sons, no doubt.

15. For those who prefer a more urbane avian accommodations, perhaps your birds might like this avian hotel.

Now this resembles something that you might see in almost any town or city. Still, I'm sure it would remind many city pigeons of home if they ever see something like this.

Now this resembles something that you might see in almost any town or city. Still, I’m sure it would remind many city pigeons of home if they ever see something like this.

16. Like birds but don’t like birdhouses? Then feed your birds with this bird gazebo.

Now this provides a nice resting place for local birds where they can relax and enjoy nature. Can also be used for weddings. Let's just hope that they don't smoke cigarettes under them.

Now this provides a nice resting place for local birds where they can relax and enjoy nature. Can also be used for weddings. Let’s just hope that they don’t smoke cigarettes under them.

17. For migrating barn swallows, nothing makes it seem right at home for them than an actual barn.

Now this one has a little farmer and tractor. But I have to love the rustic woodwork in this as well as the fine craftsmanship. But I'm sure this is way too small for any actual farm animals.

Now this one has a little farmer and tractor. But I have to love the rustic woodwork in this as well as the fine craftsmanship. But I’m sure this is way too small for any actual farm animals.

18. There are some birds who have a taste in the more modern architectural house styles.

Sometimes what might cool in one way, might not in another. For instance, as a birdhouse this structure looks cool. But as an actual house, it would look ugly.

Sometimes what might cool in one way, might not in another. For instance, as a birdhouse this structure looks cool. But as an actual house, it would look ugly.

19. Of course, even birds must have their own McDonald’s for a quick bite to eat.

Nevertheless, as a fast food restaurant, McDonald's is known to be a big contributor in avian cardiovascular disease, Type II diabetes, and obesity. Also, I hear their bird employees are only paid minimum wage, too.

Nevertheless, as a fast food restaurant, McDonald’s is known to be a big contributor in avian cardiovascular disease, Type II diabetes, and obesity. Also, I hear their bird employees are only paid minimum wage, too.

20. For the birds still missing being near the beach, this tiki beach tavern is for them.

I do like how this one is built like a tiki bar with all the little bird stools. Still, keep away from avian alcoholics. Of course, some of these birds are there for the worms, not the tequila.

I do like how this one is built like a tiki bar with all the little bird stools. Still, keep away from avian alcoholics. Of course, some of these birds are there for the worms, not the tequila.

21. There are birdhouses and then there are bird mansions.

Now this is supposed to be a replica of a house in Maryland created by a guy who specializes in these kinds of birdhouses. Still, whether bird or human, I'm sure one like this won't be very cheap in any case.

Now this is supposed to be a replica of a house in Maryland created by a guy who specializes in these kinds of birdhouses. Still, whether bird or human, I’m sure one like this won’t be very cheap in any case.

22. At times, you can build your very own bird log cabin from a bunch of twigs.

Now this one was built from willow twigs. Not sure what this person used to keep the pieces together. Still, it's quite a marveling effort in many respects.

Now this one was built from willow twigs. Not sure what this person used to keep the pieces together. Still, it’s quite a marveling effort in many respects.

23. A birdhouse like this will certainly make any homesick bird feel at home for the holidays.

I'm not sure of what to make with Christmas themed birdhouses. I mean these birdhouses are only appropriate for a certain time of the year. And birdhouses need to look appropriate all year round. Then again, maybe this is just built for decoration.

I’m not sure of what to make with Christmas themed birdhouses. I mean these birdhouses are only appropriate for a certain time of the year. And birdhouses need to look appropriate all year round. Then again, maybe this is just built for decoration.

24. As migratory birds always need rest now and then, a bird town offers a perfect rest stop.

Now there are a bunch of birdhouses like these. These 3 shown are Jail Birds Bail Bonds, Night Owls  Bar, and Seedy's Liquors. Seems kind of like a seedy place to me. But I'm sure some birds must enjoy the place.

Now there are a bunch of birdhouses like these. These 3 shown are Jail Birds Bail Bonds, Night Owls Bar, and Seedy’s Liquors. Seems kind of like a seedy place to me. But I’m sure some birds must enjoy the place.

25. Of course, birds always need a place to go where nature calls.

I'm sure these outhouses aren't used for certain bodily functions. Because birds don't really care where or how they crap. I mean they'd crap when they fly if they want to.

I’m sure these outhouses aren’t used for certain bodily functions. Because birds don’t really care where or how they crap. I mean they’d crap when they fly if they want to.

26. Now this birdhouse not only gives the birds a place to eat, but also makes your neighbors think twice about possibly stealing any belongings from you.

Now this is actually pretty clever if you think about it. I mean it's a birdhouse but looks like a surveillance camera. It's also made from metal.

Now this is actually pretty clever if you think about it. I mean it’s a birdhouse but looks like a surveillance camera. It’s also made from metal in some parts.

27. This birdhouse has a built in birdbath where the local birds could feed and clean in the same spot.

I'm sure if this was put to use it would be covered in bird shit like most bird baths would. Seriously, birdbaths are disgusting. I'm not sure how some of them expect to get clean while bathing in their own shit.

I’m sure if this was put to use it would be covered in bird shit like most bird baths would. Seriously, birdbaths are disgusting. I’m not sure how some of them expect to get clean while bathing in their own shit most of the time.

28. Any lovebirds wanting to get hitched might want to check out this wedding chapel while they’re at it.

I wonder if any lovebirds are married there by an Elvis impersonator, if it's in Las Vegas. Still, I'm sure birds have been mating millions of years without one.

I wonder if any lovebirds are married there by an Elvis impersonator, if it’s in Las Vegas. Still, I’m sure birds have been mating millions of years without one. Just see some of the birds on my back porch.

29. For the birds wanting the punk rocker look, check out the Painted Bird Tattoo Parlor. They even do beak piercings.

Of course, this place doesn't take warblers. Sorry guys. Still, a lot of young birds' mothers won't be happy about this place.

Of course, this place doesn’t take warblers. Sorry guys. Still, I’m sure certain birds don’t understand how their avian employers tend to look down on those with tattoos and piercings.

30. A lot of times, birdhouses can range from the modern to rustic as well as from traditional to whimsical.

I don't know about you, but this one reminds me of the Burrow from the Harry Potter series for some reason. You know the Weasley family's house. I swear it looked just like that in the movies.

I don’t know about you, but this one reminds me of the Burrow from the Harry Potter series for some reason. You know the Weasley family’s house. I swear it looked just like that in the movies.

31. Every bird kingdom always needs its own bird castle fortress if you think about it.

Now this one certainly looks like a castle as I can see. Yet, I'm not sure if it will protect the finches from the possible eagle invasion.

Now this one certainly looks like a castle as I can see. Yet, I’m not sure if it will protect the finches from the possible eagle invasion.

32. While most birdhouses are made of wood, this one is fashioned from metal and blue tile or glass as it looks like.

Not sure whether the birds like it or not. But I like the blue finish to it. Looks like the ocean waves for some reason.

Not sure whether the birds like it or not. But I like the blue finish to it. Looks like the ocean waves for some reason. Yeah, it’s cool.

33. Of course, every bird should always know to knock first before entering.

Yes, this is another birdhouse outhouse. And it seems that a little man has been occupying it for quite some time. Still, I think it's quite funny.

Yes, this is another birdhouse outhouse. And it seems that a little man has been occupying it for quite some time. Still, I think it’s quite funny.

34. When it comes to birdhouses, some may opt for a sleek modern design.

Now this looks as if it can be an actual house, though perhaps I wouldn't be as in awe of it. Still, I like the flowers on it though.

Now this looks as if it can be an actual house, though perhaps I wouldn’t be as in awe of it. Still, I like the flowers on it though.

35. Nevertheless, it can be said that birdhouses can come in a wide variety of shapes, sizes, and colors.

Now these birdhouses seem to almost blend in with the flowers. But funky colors will certainly draw a bird's attention, if anything. But I do think they're all lovely in their own way.

Now these birdhouses seem to almost blend in with the flowers. But funky colors will certainly draw a bird’s attention, if anything. But I do think they’re all lovely in their own way.

36. I daresay, I was going to put my mail in until I realized that it was not a letterbox.

Now this is a birdhouse from Britain as you can see by how it's painted red and has the initials ER on it. Still, seems like Britain seems to have a problem with birds living in their mailboxes as it looks like.

Now this is a birdhouse from Britain as you can see by how it’s painted red and has the initials ER on it. Still, seems like Britain seems to have a problem with birds living in their mailboxes as it looks like.

37. Have some local birds spend the holidays in this Christmas cabin.

Guess building Christmas themed birdhouses is a thing in the South, when many of the migrating birds make do for the winter. Still, it's quite ornate and cozy looking. Just needs some snow.

Guess building Christmas themed birdhouses is a thing in the South, when many of the migrating birds make do for the winter. Still, it’s quite ornate and cozy looking. Just needs some snow.

38. Hope the birds could make themselves at home in this cozy cottage.

Now this almost resembles a doll's house at first glance. That is, until you see it mounted on a tree. Still, love the small chairs.

Now this almost resembles a doll’s house at first glance. That is, until you see it mounted on a tree. Still, love the small chairs.

39. With birdhouses like these, you can start an avian neighborhood.

I like how these have a sleek design as well as come in a variety of colors. I'm sure any bird is going to recognize a birdhouse like that, that's for sure.

I like how these have a sleek design as well as come in a variety of colors. I’m sure any bird is going to recognize a birdhouse like that, that’s for sure.

40. For the coastal birds, perhaps they can enjoy the view of the ocean with this lovely beach house.

Of course, this might look a little small but at least it's in bright colors and has a nice inner tube. But you can't really take that off if a bird is drowning since it's only used for decoration.

Of course, this might look a little small but at least it’s in bright colors and has a nice inner tube. But you can’t really take that off if a bird is drowning since it’s only used for decoration.

41. When you can’t get a rustic wooden barn birdhouse, an aluminum one will do nicely.

Now this seems almost like a model toy barn you'd see next to some antique doll's house. Still, I think I like the wooden rustic barn better. Aluminum makes it seem more industrial looking.

Now this seems almost like a model toy barn you’d see next to some antique doll’s house. Still, I think I like the wooden rustic barn better. Aluminum makes it seem more industrial looking.

42. For the hippie birds in your area, you can’t do better than a hippie van.

Of course, they'd be certainly tripping balls if you put some bird seed laced with marijuana and brown acid. But they'd probably love it anyway. Man, I'd love to see a stoned bird fly.

Of course, they’d be certainly tripping balls if you put some bird seed laced with marijuana and brown acid. But they’d probably love it anyway. Man, I’d love to see a stoned bird fly high.

43. For the country brid’s needs, here’s an old country store to their liking.

Love the little merchandise pieces on here. Really go wit the set up. But do the birds really need crap like that? Probably not, besides birdseed and possibly bugs.

Love the little merchandise pieces on here. Really go wit the set up. But do the birds really need crap like that? Probably not, besides birdseed and possibly bugs.

44. For the Canadian birds out there, there’s nothing like staying in a large Canadian bird lodge.

I'm sure room and board at this Canadian bird lodge isn't cheap. But I do like the red roof on this thing. Wonder how many of the birds who stay there are professional hockey players.

I’m sure room and board at this Canadian bird lodge isn’t cheap. But I do like the red roof on this thing. Wonder how many of the birds who stay there are professional hockey players.

45. Don’t like birdhouses? Then how about a bird swing?

Sure it might have a couple of bird towers for birdseed. But I think any bird would find a swing like this quite fun. Only wish they'd make stuff like this for humans.

Sure it might have a couple of bird towers for birdseed. But I think any bird would find a swing like this quite fun. Only wish they’d make stuff like this for humans.

46. Introducing the Burger King Fly Through.

Hey, when it comes to avian fast food restaurants, McDonald's isn't the only one out there. But it's apparent this one definitely serves burgers to the birds. Of course, its staff are paid low and their food will lead to all kinds of health problems. Also known as

Hey, when it comes to avian fast food restaurants, McDonald’s isn’t the only one out there. But it’s apparent this one definitely serves burgers to the birds. Of course, its staff are paid low and their food will lead to all kinds of health problems. Also known as “Burger Barf.”

47. Yes it has a faucet, but does it have running water?