The Wonderful World of the Teddy Bear (Second Edition)

Posted by historymaniacmegan on February 1, 2017

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Two years ago, I did a post on Teddy Bears which many people loved since I got a lot of views on it. But since my country is now in the winter of its discontent and that Valentine’s Day will be around soon, I thought I could do another. After all, we all need some cuteness in our lives now and then. And what toy can be any cuter than a fuzzy, wuzzy teddy bear you can cuddle with? Nevertheless, these are mainly toys for kids and a lot of people may not like receiving them for Valentine’s Day. Yet, at the same time, it’s a highly popular toy that has so many variations from places like Build-A-Bear Workshop, Steiff, Gund, Boyds, and the Vermont Teddy Bear Company. I mean you’ll find all kinds of bears suited for holidays, special occasions, occupations and activities, and even celebrities. Oh, and you have to see the ones of fictional characters. So for your reading pleasure, I give you another assortment of these adorable plushies of joy.

Han Solbear shot first.

Wait until his girlfriend’s dad freezes him in carbonite and gives him to Bearba Fett to hand him to Jabba. Then he won’t look so tough. Also, travels with an alien who resembles a Sasquatch.

2. Lord Furatio Nelson always looks dashing in his naval uniform.

Of course, he should only have one arm in this. But he looks adorable anyway. May come with bear of Lady Hamilton.

3. Fuzz Lightyear is always to infinity and beyond.

He even has a cap to show off his own ears. And a suit with his own wings.

4. Of course, there’s always a cuddly bad boy around town.

This gangster bear has his own machine gun and even that doesn’t keep you wanting to hug him. Though he does know how to dress.

5. A pirate captain bear should always sport a colorful coat for the high seas.

Well, he certainly has a nice jacket. But you wouldn’t want to come aboard his ship.

6. And you thought you wouldn’t want to see a hairy girl on the beach.

Well, at least she knows how to have fun in the sun. And she doesn’t seem to show a lot of fur.

7. Marco Polbear always loves to go on an adventure.

Though we’re not sure if his account on China was factual or just made up. But he does look cute with a map and telescope.

8. Wondy Bear is always here to save the day.

Yet, this is her in her more modest attire with the star skirt. Still, she’s here to inspire love.

9. This festive caroler makes sure to dress for the yuletide season.

Though despite looking adorable, she tends to make people a bit scared at her. Also, can’t carry much of a tune.

10. It’s not easy being green in the land of Oz.

Yet, just remember that she has every right to her sister’s ruby slippers. And that you don’t want her anywhere near water.

11. Hear ye, hear ye, comes the town crier bear.

Sure you may find it odd that he’s dressed from the 18th century. But his attire suggests a festive spirit at the tavern.

12. There’s nothing a baby appreciates more at their christening than this little bundle of hugs.

Well, I’m sure this is for a girl. Because having been to a lot of baptisms myself, boy babies usually wear a different outfit.

13. If you see a bear like this on Christmas Eve, you might be visited by 3 spirits.

Yes, this is a Jacob Marley Bear from A Christmas Carol. Chains not included.

14. There’s nothing people appreciate more than a teddy bear royal wedding.

Sure it may not be Will and Kate’s wedding. But these royal newlyweds look adorable nonetheless.

15. Sometimes you need a furry friend to help you surf the net.

However, please don’t mind his broken glasses and bad fashion sense. He’s very smart. Honest.

16. Unto us, a cub is born.

Yes, this is a teddy bear nativity scene from the Vermont Teddy Bear Company. Shepherds and wise men not included.

17. He may not be a saint but it’s clear his cuteness is infallible.

Yes, it’s another pope bear. Yes, I know I had one on the least teddy bear post. But this one has the funny hat and a different outfit.

18. Of course, Lucille Bear always had spunk.

Well, this is a Vermont Teddy Bear tribute to I Love Lucy. And they seem to have this bear in Lucy’s chocolatier outfit.

19. Accountant Bear will help you do your taxes.

Okay, not really. But you have to like how he has an initialed briefcase and his own calculator.

20. This little ball of fur nearly makes it to the finish line.

Yes, this is a marathon bear. And he has on his little number to show for it.

21. Optometry bear wants to know if you can see anything.

Comes with an eye chart. Though glasses don’t seem to be included.

22. If you’re Jewish, your kids will delight in this Hanukkah moose.

Sure it’s no a Hanukkah tradition. But I couldn’t resist leaving it out like I did the last time. Plus, it’s adorable.

23. A yoga bear should know how to strike a pose.

Includes a yoga mat with carrier. Not sure what this pose is supposed to be though.

24. Apparently, this crooked bear is only a prisoner of your heart.

Comes with a heart and chain. Of course, this bear has to wear bright orange as modern prisoners do.

25. Even the bears of Vermont are feeling the Bern.

Love how the Bernie Sanders bear has his hairstyle. Yet, this Vermont teddy bear is always a champion for the working class of all types.

26. This zombie sweetheart teddy bear will make you rip your heart out.

Goes with the zombie bear I had in the post from 2 years ago. Like her dress, by the way.

27. The Obearmas will always have a special place in Americans’ hearts.

I already miss these two so much. They were such a great couple at the White House.

28. A British bear always wears khaki on his tour of duty.

However, as customary for British war bears, he doesn’t wear pants. Yet, he looks dashing in his beige beret.

29. Dr. Bear will make your little dog better.

So that's what a teddy bear vet looks like. Not sure what to think about the bunny though.

So that’s what a teddy bear vet looks like. Not sure what to think about the dog though.

30. This little bear has now received a distinguished degree.

Well, it’s not uncommon to buy teddy bears for graduation either. Also available in white.

31. This cuddly burglar is out to steal your heart.

It even has a little mask and sack. Love how it’s holding hearts in its paws.

32. Someone must be cooking something in the kitchen.

Of course, her dress always has to match her oven mitt. And she can’d do without her wooden spoon.

33. Need a tissue?

I’m sure seeing the sight of this bear will make you feel better. Nice how the robe and slippers match.

34. On St. Paddy’s Day, how about you kiss this Irish bear?

For the record, I don’t think there are bears in Ireland. But this guy’s adorable anyway.

35. A sewing maven always knows how to stick her pins.

She even has her own pin cushion and tape measure bow. But the dress is similar to the cooking bear.

36. Granny Bear is always full of wit and wisdom.

Sure most grannies don’t wear dresses like that. But this is simply adorable.

37. Hope this pro can take a swing.

Well, she is quite a tennis pro. Sure she’s not a Williams sister. But she’s not half bad.

38. This trooper is proud to serve in the good old US of A.

Hope he’s sure proud to be an American. Because I’m nor sure whether I am at the moment.

39. Fisher bear has a big catch of the day.

I wanted to put this on the teddy bear post 2 years ago but it was already full. So it goes on this one.

40. A gardening bear can have quite a green thumb.

I guess she likes to water the paw paw patch with her watering can. Nice how it matches her floppy hat.

41. Spa Bear just wants a little R&R.

Don’t mind her. She just wants to enhance her beauty and take a day off from the den.

42. Golfer Bear strikes a hole in one.

Though golf is a boring sport, it’s inexplicably popular. So I had to include this guy.

43. Snowboard bear takes to the slopes during the winter.

However, it doesn’t seem to snow much in my neck of the woods this winter. Though he certainly looks quite cool with his shades.

44. This riding bear is dressed in full habit.

Horse not included. But it does make a rather elegant costume on a countryside estate.

45. You can climb aboard this captain’s boat anytime.

Even has a float with a sentiment. Also like the hat.

46. As a true American, this teddy believes in the right to bear hugs.

Well, at least the right to bear hugs is better than the right to bear arms. Though a Second Amendment teddy bear would be quite funny.

47. All this clown wants to do is put a smile on your face.

Now I don’t find clowns typically endearing. But I think this is adorable to say the least.

48. This bear only wants a pizza your heart.

And it’s dressed like a pizza slice as you can see. Though it’s not picky about toppings.

49. Fans of Game of Thrones will always love a mother of dragons regardless of species.

Though you don’t see many from Harry Potter or Lord of the Rings. And both those franchises are considerable more family friendly than Game of Thrones.

50. This bear wishes you all health and smiles.

Even though it’s in a smiley face hospital gown. Though I’m sure someone would get a chuckle.

51. Commodore Oliver Hazard Beary surely won’t give up his ship.

Though he surely looks quite military for the War of 1812. Love the uniform.

52. A teddy bear like this can capture the essence of Joseph and His Technicolor Dream Coat.

Just wait until his brother rip his coat to pieces and throw him in a well. Hey, that’s how the story goes, folks.

53. I wish Will and Kate the beary best.

Okay, these are the Will and Kate teddy bears. Hard to believe they have two kids who look like miniature versions of themselves.

54. These Chinese bears bring you greetings to their humble surroundings.

Well, they surely know how to dress. However, I like the guy bear’s hat the best.

55. This black bear has an interesting stripe.

I know it’s a certain bear but I can’t put my finger on it. But I know it’s not a black bear because they’re usually all black.

56. Even bears can have tons of fun during Ocktoberfest.

Though I’m not so much a fan of the lederhosen. Comes with a beer stein.

57. King Ludwig II always believes in kingly taste.

King Ludwig II of Bavaria was seen by many as a mad king obsessed with building his fairy tale castle. Though the project bankrupted the country, it’s now a tourist destination.

58. In Australia, teddy koala bears are a thing.

Koalas are marsupials and not bears. Though that doesn’t stop me from putting one on my post.

59. I’m sure nobody could resist this Sergeant Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band.

This is from a teddy bear museum. Yet, I love how each one of them is dressed in the appropriate uniform.

60. Donald Trump Bear promises to make America great again.

Sure he might look cute now. But wait until your locale and family start supporting him and he becomes president. And he signs executive orders banning Muslim refugees.

61. This bear can always play the music of the night.

Of course, any teenage girl or young woman might find this Phantom of the Opera bear quite irresistible. Though he’s certainly not a nice guy.

62. Some bears just love to party sometimes.

Still, you don’t want to clean up after this guy. Because drunk bears can really trash a place.

63. A bear of Old Fritz is one of German pride.

Frederick the Great was an 18th century King of Prussia who became an icon in Germany. However, despite being Hitler’s hero, Old Fritz would’ve hated his Nazi fans. And the Nazis would’ve hated him if they knew he was a cultured and possibly gay Francophile.

64. For the Sun King Louis XIV, he is the state.

Louis XIV was perhaps Europe’s longest reigning monarch who ruled France in a court of tremendous luxury. However, his precedents would lead to the French Revolution.

65. Even a bear can become a graceful ballerina.

Contrary to popular belief, ballet dancers aren’t sissies. Since what they do requires tremendous athleticism and stamina. Also, there are a lot of NFL players who take ballet classes.

66. Kaiser Wilhem II always sports a large pointy hat.

Sure he ruled Germany during WWI. But c’mon, this was made by a German company. Besides, the Kaiser wasn’t as bad as the guy who led Germany in the next World War.

67. Sir Huggins will be your knight in shining armor.

He even has his own shield with hearts. So you know he just wants your love.

68. Willy Wonka bear is always as sweet as his candy.

However, he has no regard to safety and labor standards and has a sadistic streak in torturing naughty children. You’ve been warned.

69. Albert Bearstein is a noted genius.

And he only wears a vest. Like the crazy hair and mustache, too.

70. A flapper bear is always 1920s chic.

She even has her own feather hat and halter dress. Hope she stays out of speakeasies.

71. The Japanese Emperor and Empress always hold a space in their subjects’ hearts.

So immortalizing them as teddy bears goes without saying. Because the Japanese always have a fondness for cuteness.

72. St. Nick loves to give presents to the children around Christmas time.

Though he may not always be a nice guy when it comes to yuletide traditions in some countries. Like the outfit though.

73. Kiss this bear and he’ll turn into a prince.

Though his frog outfit can make him look just as cute. Still, it’s all in the costume.

74. Hockey bear knows how to score a goal on the ice.

Well, he doesn’t seem to have the proper safety equipment on. What if he gets injured or in a fight?

75. This bear has nothing on him.

Though he wouldn’t need a fig leaf to cover his privates. I mean he has fur.

76. This Vermont teddy bear is cozy in his green maple sweater.

Comes with a bottle of maple syrup. Love the maple leaf buttons.

77. This bear always tries to be at the height of fashion.

Here she is in her blue dress and shiny shoes. And yes, she has long brown hair, too.

78. This retro bear lives the 1950s.

Unsurprisingly, she wears a poodle skirt. Though you don’t see these a lot in 1950s fashion.

79. This little peanut is totally nuts for you.

I’m not sure if he’s advertising for Planters. But he’s nevertheless adorable.

80. Help this bear make a wish before he blows out the candles.

It even has a crown along with the cake. Certainly for some kid’s birthday.

Fall in Love with These Valentine’s Day Craft Projects (Second Edition)

Posted by historymaniacmegan on January 28, 2017

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Pardon me for the interruption of the last essay, but that couldn’t really be helped. Anyway, moving on, we go to Valentine’s Day craft projects. And I’m sure plenty of us had made at least one in an elementary school art class. Though it would mostly be made from construction paper. However, while there are plenty of people like me who aren’t very much into the holiday with the possible exception of cashing in on it, there are plenty who are. Because you’re bound to find plenty of Valentine’s Day crafts on Pinterest. Though naturally a lot of these are suited for children. Last year, I did a post on V-Day crafts which was quite a hit. So I plan on doing one for this year. And like last year, these crafts aren’t really for kids. Then again, so are most of the stuff on my craft posts in general. Nevertheless, for your reading pleasure, I give you another installment of Valentine’s Day craft projects you’re sure to love.

How about some pink hearts in a pot?

Well, they are propped like flowers with varying different patterns. Nice to put outside one’s door.

2. If you have any troubles, Madam Ruth will fix you some Love Potion No. 9.

Might cause you to kiss everything in sight. And in the Harry Potter universe, it’s a legal date rape drug.

3. A Valentine heart should always have flowers of pink, white, and red.

Well, not sure which flowers they are. But they sure look nice hanging over the window.

4. If you’re into the winter magic, this heart wreath is just for you.

This one consists of a snowy branch heart with two red cardinals. and a heart in the center. A perfect Valentine’s Day decoration for male same-sex couples. Well, assuming the birds are cardinals.

5. A white wine bottle should always come with some hearts.

Each heart is pink and red while held to a string. All in all this is quite lovely.

6. A Valentine’s Day wreath should have stuffed felt hearts all around.

The red ones have a pink stitch in the middle. The white ones have a ribbon and button.

7. Got an unused picture frame? Hope you can hang a few shiny hearts.

Don't forget to put a pink ribbon on top. And paint the frame red while you're at it.

Don’t forget to put a pink bow on top. And paint the frame red while you’re at it.

8. A Valentine pillow should always have a secret pocket at the heart.

Because it should always have a love note in place. Still, both pillow and love note are made from the same materials.

9. For Valentine’s Day, you can’t go wrong with a hugs and kisses ladder.

Okay, this is pretty ingenious that even I couldn’t think of that. Love the hearts.

10. Send a crocheted valentine to somebody close to your heart.

Though that special someone might not get the message. But I do like the heart button stamp.

11. Nothing can drive these lovebirds apart this Valentine’s Day.

This might be a wedding cake topper. But it also can work as V-Day decorations. Still, the birds are so cute.

12. A V-Day tulle wreath should have some hearts for good measure.

Well, it’s not totally pink. But the colors seem to run together. Like the hearts.

13. There’s nothing sweeter than a box of chocolates at your front door.

Though know these chocolates aren’t exactly real. But you’d never know what you’d get from them.

14. A heart wreath should come with some red berries.

Well, the berries are fake and sure aren’t holly. But they’ll do. Love the hearts on the bow, too.

15. These Valentine’s Day pillows always give so much to love.

Each one has sayings on them with the letters in different colors and patterns. Comes in a set of 3.

16. This crocheted pink rose makes an ideal V-Day corsage.

Then again, I’m not sure if it was made to be a corsage. But it’s certainly a rose.

17. For a more naturalistic V-Day, this heart wreath comes with all the flowers.

Seems like this one has all the floral trimmings you can ask for on your front door. Wouldn’t mind having this.

18. An ivy heart wreath can always come with some red hearts.

Actually it seems to have red hearts and ribbons all over it. Might be used for spring if it weren’t for the V-Day trimmings.

19. Nobody could resist a heart made from red buttons.

Doesn’t hurt if there’s a heart necklace at the center along with a gingham bow. Love this.

20. Don’t like wreaths? Well, this heart hanging will lift your V-Day spirits.

Sure it kind of resembles a Christmas decoration. But we should take note of the heart ribbon and chocolate box.

21. Count down the days to Valentine’s Day with this pillow of hearts.

Well, it consists of 14 hearts with ribbons on them. Great for any Valentine’s Day.

22. This Valentine yarn wreath contains 4 hearts in the center.

Well, it’s a lovely wreath of white and pink. But most of the hearts are red.

23. A white feather heart always inspires warm and fuzzy emotions.

Sure it may not seem like much. But I think it’s lovely in its own way. Besides, white’s a V-Day color though more used as an accent.

24. These wooden hearts contain plants and a key.

The plants in the jars may not be real. But you have to love how they come with keys to signify a lovely gesture.

25. A love pillow will always give you watch you need.

Doesn’t hurt that it has some hearts stitched on it, too. Though not sure about having the letters in cursive.

26. Each heart on this wreath says something special.

Well, they’re usually sayings you’d find on valentines. And they’re sure to make you feel all sentimental.

27. A bauble heart wreath can always have its love shining through.

Doesn’t hurt if the baubles are red and pink and are trimmed with tinsel. All in all lovely.

28. This garden urn is all full of hearts this Valentine’s Day.

Well, the hearts are in all different colors. But I like the bow best of all.

29. Fancy hearts, flowers, and ribbons should always be on a wreath.

Now this one seems like you’d put it on someone’s gravestone. Though it surely looks lovely on any front door.

30. You can always send a valentine in a crocheted envelope.

And you can use them over and over again. Come in 3 colors with a heart seal.

31. These flowers have come attached with a kiss.

Though the flowers are fake and used as a front door bouquet decoration. Still, if you don’t want a wreath, this will certainly do.

32. Show the love on Valentine’s Day with these heart towels.

Though these seem more made for the kitchen than the bathroom. Nevertheless, they’re white with pink decorations and red fringe.

33. Cupid’s 3 arrows of one can always be joined as one with a pink bow.

Now these look quite easy to make. Just have feathers, twigs, ribbon, and red hearts.

34. Love lives here with these wings and arrows.

I bet this hanging is supposed to represent Cupid or Eros. Though often depicted as an angel baby, he’s not.

35. With all these bottles together, they all spell love.

I’m always amazed by what people can do with old wine bottles around. Though I sometimes wonder why’d they have so many in the first place.

36. A wire heart only requires few flowers.

And if it weren’t for the flowers, you might barely see it. Still, I think it’s beautiful.

37. Crocheted chocolates always make a great gift to your sweetheart on Valentine’s Day.

Well, this is in a square box. Yet, though you can’t eat any of them, they’re sure adorable to behold.

38. Show your sweetheart you care this Valentine’s Day with this heart bouquet.

Yes, it may profess love. But make sure they feel the same way about you before you give it to them.

39. A wreath of red flowers can always send a lovely message.

Well, it certainly shows it loud and clear in a heart. Love the red flowers.

40. This red burlap heart wreath comes with its own striped bow.

Well, that’s quite a rustic looking wreath though made from burlap. Makes you feel all warm and fuzzy inside.

41. Curl up with your sweetheart this Valentine’s Day with this crocheted heart pillow.

Comes with lace edging and a pink bow. Sure it might seem a bit girly but it’s lovely.

42. This tulle heart wreath will bring you nothing but love.

It even has the word love in the center. And the tulle is in red, white and pink.

43. Seems like Cupid’s arrow just shot through this wreath.

Actually it was made that way. Though I do think the arrow gives a nice finishing touch.

44. Felt roses can always make a heart wreath joy.

This is especially when the wreath is made from sticks. Seems like I have a lot of wreaths on this post for some reason.

45. How about give your sweetheart crocheted chocolates in a crocheted heart box?

Now that seems more fitting for Valentine’s Day for some reason. Though I think it’s quite wonderful. Not sure about some of the packaging though.

46. There’s nothing that shows the love on Valentine’s Day like a heart wreath filled with roses.

Well, it has roses and other flowers. And yes, it looks like it comes from a store. But it’s quite stunning nonetheless.

47. A candy heart of candy hearts should always be sweet in a frame.

Because these candy hearts sure aren’t great tasting candies. More like a combination of chalk and sugar.

48. A wooden palette heart like this always speaks of love’s endurance.

Well, that’s a nice sentiment to put one one’s front door. Love how it has deco mesh trimmings.

49. A crocheted heart pot holder is used to any kind of burn.

Well, as long as it’s in the kitchen. Still, doesn’t need to be too fancy.

50. A bouquet of crocheted roses is almost as great as the real thing.

Except you never have to throw these roses out. For they can last year after year.

51. A pink yarn wreath can never have too many hearts.

Well, these have red hearts in the center hanging from string. While the wreath has white and red ones on its side.

52. All this silver heart wreath has to offer is love.

It even has a an arrow struck through it with a heart end. Love it.

53. With wine bottles you can make a wonderful display to show your love this Valentine’s Day.

You can even put stuff inside them like berry branches or hearts. All in all, quite stunning to say the least.

54. Tell your sweetheart you light up their lives with this glass block this Valentine’s Day.

It even lights up and has hearts on it. Love the bow though.

55. There’s nothing fuzzier on Valentine’s Day like a pink feather wreath.

Well, it certainly seems like something you’d put on your front door. Then again, these kind of wreaths might make a mess.

56. A burlap envelope comes all full with love letters.

Well, these aren’t actually love letters. But it surely makes a lovely decoration.

57. A candy hearts wreath can bring a lot of sweetness and light.

Well, at least this put the candy chalk hearts into good use. Love the bow, too.

58. You can always say “Be Mine” with large wooden tags.

Doesn’t hurt if they’re bordered with hearts. Makes a nice door hanging.

59. A wooden heart with green always gives a rustic touch.

Well, this is a lovely decoration for V-Day. Love the bow. Not sure about the foliage.

60. No wreath on Valentine’s Day can ever be as welcoming as this one.

After all, it says love in wooden letters. Love the flowers and berry branches, too.

61. This glass block is bursting with lights and hearts.

Doesn’t hurt that it has some silver tinsel inside. Nevertheless, it’s as good as gold.

62. There’s nothing better on Valentine’s Day like a corked heart.

Well, it’s a heart made out of corks. Sure it may say love, but you have to wonder if drinking was involved in the creation.

63. Hearts don’t always have to be red, white, or pink for V-Day.

On this wreath, you’d find hearts of all kinds of colors and sizes. For those who aren’t fond of pink, this is for you.

64. A V-Day place setting should always include hearts.

This ncludes a heart place mat, a heart closer, and a red silverware holder. Great for parties.

65. You can always make a simple bouquet from craft supplies.

And you don’t have to throw out the flowers. Though you might make some think you’re using scrunchies for the wrong purpose.

66. A Valentine owl is always worth hooting for.

This one has “Owl” instead of “I’ll.” Nevertheless, it’s so adorable that any child will love it.

67. A banner of love is perfect for a front door on Valentine’s Day.

Well, this is quite rustic but it’ll surely melt hearts all around. Love the bow.

68. Be the hostess with the mostess this Valentine’s Day with your sweetheart hostess apron.

It has hearts all over it along with cute little pockets. Great for any V-Day party.

69. These XO pillows are all hugs and kisses.

I know don’t use X’s and O’s for kisses and hugs these days. But back then, they didn’t have emojis.

70. A wreath with hearts spreads love all around.

Each heart is in pink, white, and red. And they’re all surrounded by pink flowers.

71. Make your love light up with this marquee style heart.

You have to admire how people can do these craft projects that require electricity. Still, this shines on.

72. Or you can light up your love like this.

Well, it’s quite elaborate. But sometimes you have to go all out.

73. These small felt hearts will surely make you smile.

Each one has s smile and blushing cheeks. Many are used for pins. So cute.

74. This Valentine’s Day sheep pillow will inspire woolly feelings of warmth.

A couple of the sheep even have hearts on their fleece and are stacked against each other. So adorable.

75. Keep your cold hands warm this Valentine’s Day with these candy heart mittens.

Contains candy hearts of different colors. Though the real stuff is chalky, the pattern is sweet.

76. Send your V-Day gift with love in this crocheted tote bag.

It’s pink with tiny red hearts on it. Now that I think of it, it’s a great gift unto itself.

77. A basket of roses for Valentine’s Day is always great for your front door.

This is called a rose wreath. But it’s not a rose wreath. It’s roses in a basket. Know the difference.

78. These crocheted heart pillows have pockets for valentines.

Now you have a place to put your love notes. Well, if you have a sweetheart anyway.

79. This crocheted Valentine hat is all red with hearts.

Even has bows to go with it. Probably for some young girl but it’s cute.

80. This rosy choker scarf will keep your neck nice and cozy.

Well, these are magenta roses. But it surely looks quite stylish to say the least.

81. Nobody can resist crocheted chocolates from a pink heart box.

Because they’re soft and smushy. Love the heart decoration on the lid.

82. This rainbow heart mobile will delight any little ones with love.

Bet this is used for a little girl’s room. Yet, I think it’s a rather enchanting design.

83. Nothing beats a heart wreath with crocheted flowers.

Helps that the flowers aren’t roses and are in different colors. Love the button centers.

84. Catch the light with this Valentine heart suncatcher.

Well, it’s certainly a valentine heart all right. Love how the glass around it makes up the lace.

85. Keep yourself warm this Valentine’s Day by curling up in a Valentine Hearts afghan.

Comes in a great patchwork design with hearts of red, pink, and purple. Love it.

86. Make your Valentine’s Day fancy with this doily of hearts.

Each red heart is surrounded with lace and has a pink bow. All in all, so beautiful.

87. This little Love Bug will melt your heart.

Or make your heart flutter you want to cuddle it. Oh, so adorable.

88. Look extra lovely this Valentine’s Day with these crocheted heart earrings.

Well, they might weigh heavy on me. However, they sure look quite cute.

89. This crocheted heart buddy just wants some love.

Here the heart is holding a cute little valentine. Love the bow on the head. Adorable.

90. This amigurumi girl gives out her heart for Valentine’s Day.

Well, she’s such a sweetie. Sure pink and red don’t always go together. But here I make an exception.

91. If you like white roses, then you’d want to curl up with this crocheted Valentine’s Day pillow.

This one even has lace on the edging. Love it.

This one even has lace on the edging. Love the design, too.

92. A heart wreath of roses should come with a white wooden frame.

Doesn’t hurt if the frame is decorated with berry branches. Still, the roses are beautiful.

93. Nothing says Valentine’s Day like a wall hanging of a red yo-yo heart.

By the way, yo-yo is the style. Don’t ask me why. there are some quilting terms I don’t understand.

94. This Valentine’s Day quilt of cascading hearts is surely a sight to see.

Well, it has a 3 dimensional look to it. Love the hearts coming down from a distance.

95. This V-Day quilt contains an urn with hearts of all kinds.

Each heart has different colors and patterns. So lovely if you ask me.

96. A Valentine’s Day wreath should have a heart of gold.

And it’s surely an ornate one at that. Love how the small hearts make it look like a red snowflake.

97. There’s nothing sweeter than a V-Day wreath of chocolates.

Well, the chocolates aren’t real. Love the saying “Life Is Sweet.”

98. For even more sweet times, you might enjoy this candy heart wreath.

Each heart has a sweet saying among a pastel wreath. So lovely.

99. Make Valentine’s Day a sweet occasion with a candy hearts bouquet.

It has fake pink roses on the top. But at least the candy hearts are put to better use.

100. This Valentine’s Day tree gives you all to love.

Because why put away the Christmas tree just yet when you can decorate it with hearts? Nevertheless, I’m not sure if I understand.

The Wonderful World of Vintage Valentines (Fourth Edition)

Posted by historymaniacmegan on January 21, 2017

Now that I got some Fuckface von Clownstick inaugural angst out of the way, I should now get into the Valentine’s Day posts. And what better way to start off than with a collection of political incorrectness of crazy vintage valentines? I mean these posts have been quite successful for some time and I know plenty might see it as the only fun part of the holiday. Because like me, there are many people who spend Valentine’s Day single and sometimes going to the store seeing the hearts, candy, stuffed toys, and what not can really get to you. Of course, when people think of valentine cards, they think cutesy heart cards like this one above depicting a couple in love. Yet, if I devoted a post to all the lovey dovey valentines, you’d probably throw up. So instead, I decided to go with vintage valentines that you wouldn’t believe actually existed. I mean people sent these to each other. So I give you yet another installment of unruly vintage valentines for you to love in an unintentionally hilarious way.

If you receive a valentine like this, then your sweetheart must work for the Pentagon.

Okay, I don’t think weapons inspired valentines are a good idea. And phallic imagery is the least of my worries here.

2. For your Semper Fi sweetheart, this Marine valentine is a real marine.

And here he’s preparing to shoot off his gun. Doesn’t help that the sentiment includes “aim to make you mine.” Mine what? Shooting target?

3. Guess it seems time for a commercial on this one.

Hey, I’m all for grand expressions of love and all. But a televised valentine is just going way too far. Seriously, you need help.

4. Nothing says romance on Valentine’s Day like allusions to shellfish.

It’s also a marriage proposal card, too, which is even more disturbing. I mean unless it’s on a plate, do lobsters ever scream romance? No.

5. Speaking of sea life, check out this crazed fish hungry for a valentine.

I know this is supposed to be a fish but the fact it has a snout full of teeth kind of baffles me. Not to mention, it’s wearing some sort of skimpy diving outfit.

6. Nothing will make you feel valued like a valentine featuring a calf.

Uh, I don’t think you’d want to use the word “veal” when pertaining to a calf. Also, it seems to stomp on the valentine.

7. “Okay, no tricky moves from you! This is a hold up, see?”

I guess the sex costume here is Wild West prostitute who’s armed and dangerous. Then again, I think a guy might want to stay away from her.

8. “I’m prepared to meet your best defense, Valentine, so you’d better be mine!”

Okay, I think this boy might as well give up. No need for the wooden swords and pots and pans. If she doesn’t want him, she doesn’t want him. He can’t force himself on her.

9. This Native American prefers to have a heart roasted.

Okay, this is kind of offensive to Native Americans. If the heart roasting doesn’t raise eyebrows, the speech should.

10. “Gosh, Valentine, don’t you just like me a ‘weenie bit?'”

Of course, this can also be interpreted as, “I’m so desperate for a girlfriend that I’ll settle for anything at this point.” Also, don’t tell me ‘weenie bit’ means what I think it does.

11. “Hose your valentine? Me!”

From Buzzfeed: “I believe there is now an Adult film with this title.” Yeah, he seems to be squeezing the nozzle a little too hard.

12. “Can’t measure my love!”

But if you can’t measure one’s love, what can you measure? Oh, wait, I think I see what might be going on here.

13. Happy Valentine’s Day, now enjoy this picture of a creepy clown dog on the violin.

This dog fiddler is the stuff of nightmares. It’s not cute, especially since it has crossed eyes. Look away, I beg of you.

14. Speaking of clowns, hope this one doesn’t play a joke.

Okay, this clown makes the Joker seem like the guy you’d want to bring to a kid’s birthday party. Even more disturbing is how he has his hand sticking out of the heart. Creepy.

15. Celebrate Valentine’s Day with love in a sausage.

However, judging by the sausage, this guy may not be looking for love. Yeah, I’m not fooled by the sausage bit.

16. “A valentine for you, I can’t help ‘mooning over you!'”

But explain to me how that rocket seems conveniently located between this girl’s legs. Oh, and she’s holding a rocket in her hand. I think I know why she might be mooning.

17. “I don’t want you to be my brother, I want you to be my valentine!”

Okay, that message is a little creepy and I saw Luke kissing Leia in The Empire Strikes Back. However, that woman’s face makes me even more uncomfortable because the skin tones certain’y don’t match.

18. “Come down ‘off your perch’ and be my valentine, you’d be a ‘birdie.'”

The fact she says this in a bird cage really makes me cringe. I guess she really wants a guy to get her out of there.

19. “Do you ‘tank’ you could love me?”

Not if you aim an actual tank at me asking that question. Seriously, military weapons have no place in valentines at all.

20. “I’m gonna plow right in and ask you to be my valentine.”

Okay, I really don’t have a great feeling about this. But at least it’s not being particularly forceful as far as I’m concerned.

21. “I’ll camp and tramp until I find a girl like you for my valentine!”

So I guess this guy says, “So you better settle down with me or else, I’m going to spend my days as a homeless guy.” Also helps if the girl’s loaded with cash.

22. Lovers, always beware of Cupid.

Is Cupid supposed to be the African tribesman that’s depicted in highly racist caricature? Got it.

23. “To be ‘frank,’ you’re ‘hot stuff!'”

Sure she may look innocent with her hotdog and fire tongs. But there’s fire down below and she’s holding the hotdog a little too tight.

24. This archer aims for your heart.

But whether he means to love you or kill you, I can’t actually decide. But he seems to have his bow and arrows out either way.

25. “Want a little ‘harem scarem,’ for your valentine?”

Uh, girl, do you know what a harem is? If you do, are implying that you want group sex or an open relationship? Or do you just want to wear a skimpy costume?

26. “I’ve got my eyes on you, dear valentine!”

However, a girl with a heart head is the stuff of nightmares. No, that’s not cute. That’s terrifying for a V-Day horror movie.

27. “I love being ;pushed around,’ valentine! I’m yours!”

You mean pushed around sucking real loud? Because that’s what vacuums do. Oh, wait, that’s kind of dirty.

28. Nothing says Valentine’s Day like being aimed at with a machine gun.

Sure that’s a military themed valentine. But still, having a machine gun in one is just fucked up. Seriously, why?

29. Speaking of military weapons, get a load of this cannon.

Seems like he’s a bit happier than expected. Hope the large gun isn’t a metaphor for an erection.

30. As we all know, a nudist is bad at hiding who she fancies.

I know what you’re thinking. How can they have a naked girl on a valentine like this? I’m still asking that question. Yes, she needs to get some clothes on.

31. “My heart pants for you!”

And it’s hung with a bunch of women’s undies on the clothes line. I can guess the hidden meaning behind that one.

32. “You will get a big piece if you will be my valentine!”

Sorry, but a dog butcher doesn’t make this valentine any less disturbing. This is especially when it has a heart on table and cleaver in paw.

33. “Light of my life, do I satisfy?”

Now that can be read in any number of ways. One of them being sexually which might be what this tom cat is implying.

34. This Valentine’s Day, you should always have 2 on a seesaw.

Up, down, just decide and don’t lead on. Of course, there are those who tend to play games with people’s hearts on the playground.

35. Hand over your heart, or else.

Because nothing says Valentine’s Day like the threat of lethal violence. How romantic!

36. “I will have an axe to grind unless you’ll be my valentine!”

So I guess this means, “If you say no, I shall have to chop you to pieces.” Sorry, but I’ll take that risk.

37. Any boy would wish to have a space themed valentine.

Kind of reminds me of Slim Pickens riding on a missile in Dr. Strangelove. Then again, it might imply something dirtier.

38. “You’re my valentine, sure as shooting.”

And he has his gun aimed like a true buckaroo. Yes, I find these gun valentines quite disturbing as always.

39. Looks like some fox’s got caught in a trap.

And he needs his valentine to open it to let his tail out. Or else he’d die. But in the meantime, he’ll just sit and smell the flowers. No need to hurry.

40. Happy Valentine’s Day from the girl who’s trying to lose weight for you.

By the way, that’s an old weight loss contraption called a fan belt. And no, it doesn’t work. Still, ladies, if you try to lose weight, don’t do it for a man.

41. Even sharks need some loving some time.

However, this green suited guy is a card shark. So I don’t think he’s the best kind of boyfriend. Because he might have a gambling problem. Or eat you alive.

42. “Slicing baloney is not my line. I love you, my valentine.”

Okay, I might want to stay away from this creepy butcher. Really don’t need that in my life.

43. If you want to show your appreciation to your teacher, this is the valentine for you.

On the other hand, teacher-student relationships should never be encouraged in any circumstances whatsoever. Doesn’t help the kid is dressed in a sailor suit and holding a ruler.

44. “I’m ready to show plenty of action, valentine, if you consent to be mine.”

Well, at least this boy is better about consent then the guys in some of these cards. But the projection is still kind of dirty.

45. Nothing says Valentine’s Day like being just out of the shower.

It’s valentines like these that make me suspect that these vintage cards were made for adults. This especially goes for the ones with people naked like this.

46. “Let’s have a real blow out today!”

Or is it supposed to be blowjob? Because that’s how I take it away from this picture.

47. Here’s a card that says, “Be my valentine, I’ll do anything like the housework.”

Well, this boy may not have much going for him. But he’ll probably succeed in picking up chicks though he may not like doing chores. Still, he’s kind of creepy.

48. “Pick out a heart but be sure it’s mine, valentine!”

Hmmm…not sure if that’s going to work since the two really don’t see eye to eye. This particularly the case when one has a freakishly long neck like an ostrich or a giraffe.

49. “Don’t be afraid, you’re going to be my valentine!”

Uh, girl, you have every right to be afraid right now. Because you’re being pursued by a monstrous shadow with a card. Yeah, run for your life now.

50. If you won’t be mind, then I’ll fade away until I’m all bones, you bonehead.

I’m sure this would be perfect if your sweetheart’s a goth. Still, such sentiments from someone might mean they really need a therapist.

The Patchwork World of Quilts

Posted by historymaniacmegan on December 31, 2016

My aunt made this quilt herself before she gave it to me one Christmas. Here I have it draped on a chair for this post.

Now that winter’s here, it’s not unusual for anyone to curl up with a warm blanket from time to time. Many times people would prefer a quilt, comforter, or a coverlet on their bed. How a quilt differs from other blankets is that it’s usually composed of 3 layers of fabric or fiber. These traditionally consisted of a woven top cloth, a layer of batting or wadding, and a woven back combined sewing these 3 layers together. Occasionally, they could be tied together with knots. While quilts have usually been used as bedcovers functional or otherwise, they’re also frequently displayed as decorative works of art. And if you look on Pinterest or this post, you’ll surely see what I’m talking about. Though the top layer on the quilt usually has the most decoration which could be a pattern of stitching or a patchwork pattern like the one above. And sometimes they could be seen to serve another non-functional purposes like the AIDS Memorial Quilt that lists the names of people who lost their lives to HIV. Yet, you can see many in museums and at craft festivals throughout the year. So for your reading pleasure, I bring you an assortment of crazy and amazing quilts.

Why stick with a pattern when you can stick with a color scheme.

And I guess this is in a rainbow scheme. Well, the patterns are certainly pretty.

2. With this quilt, you can be transported to Moulin Rouge.

However, we should note that these women wore split crotch underwear (and not for sexual purposes either). So you can see why that dance was considered obscene in the 19th century.

3. For quilting, the more colors the better.

And does this sure dazzle. No, you’re not on drugs. But I really love this pattern.

4. How about some time on the beach?

Of course, you wouldn’t want to bring a quilt to a beach. But this is surely an incredible quilting landscape to behold.

5. These woodland creatures are all in funky colors.

Well, I won’t just feature quilts on here. This is a table runner. Still, like the squirrel.

6. This African quilt seems like it’s straight from the Savannah.

Hey, quilting isn’t just a European thing. Still, you have to admire the dazzling work on this. The twig for display is perfect.

7. Make sure you keep your flowers dry.

Uh, I think you don’t need an umbrella for the flowers. Because they’d need the water anyway. Unless you live in an area that always rains.

8. Spirals and stars, a great quilt they always make.

Another quilt in a rainbow color scheme. But this one is in a star configuration.

9. One can never have too many things on one big bookshelf.

Well, this one has a lot of books with toys in between. Got to keep it quaint and adorable.

10. A quilter’s patchwork home is her castle.

Well, this is certainly a quilter’s castle here. So stunning and so lovely. And it seems someone fell into the moat.

11. There’s nothing more beautiful than a desert sunrise.

Except possibly a desert sunset. But you have to admire how it almost looks like a painting. But yes, it’s a quilt.

12. Every quilting square can always have its unique pattern.

I guess this one uses floral and trees. Not sure if it’s for summer or fall. Might go either way.

13. During the summer, a gardener’s work is never done.

Well, this one has a lot of summer motifs. Love the flower bouquet.

14. There’s always more to these rolling hills.

Yes, this is another quilting landscape. But this one makes it more apparent if you look at the sky.

15. Only a waterfall can remind you of tranquility.

Now this one almost looks like a painting you’d almost see in a museum. But yes, it’s a quilt if you zoom in more. Beautiful.

16. You wouldn’t believe the kind of birds on these trees.

You wouldn’t believe the kind of leaves either. Love the blue owl and flowers.

17. Mind if I play a game of Tetris?

Okay, Tetris is a computer game. But you can easily see why it makes an ideal quilting subject.

18. If you like the minions then you’ll fall in love with this mini quilt.

Or maybe not, if you find them annoying. But still, these are quite adorable. So cute.

19. Be the master of your domain with this regal quilt tapestry.

This one even depicts a fire breathing blue dragon. Not sure about the sun and moon fabric though.

20. Always keep your border stars in a loop.

Especially when it pertains to rainbows like in this one. Still, I’m not sure if I can get enough of these.

21. This bookshelf looks so antique.

I know it’s another bookshelf quilt. But this one seems more suited for a study.

22. Here we come across a sunset at a pond.

Or is it a pond? It’s so hard to tell the difference between the two, Then again, it could be a marsh. Nevertheless, it’s stunning.

23. One roll of film can preserve so many memories.

But not as much as a digital camera. And you can’t do a quilt pertaining to that.

24. Guess this is quite a whimsical neighborhood.

Well, this seems like it’s straight out of a Dr. Seuss acid trip. But it’s surely adorable.

25. I guess this is one quilter’s tribute to Japan.

Because we have Mount Fuji, a red rising sun, and Godzilla. The Godzilla is a biggest giveaway.

26. In this quilt, all the animals are in their proper place.

This one has an interesting barn window scheme. But at least the dog is in the forefront.

27. With flower fabrics who knows what kind of patchwork you’d make.

This one uses flowers in an interesting flower wreath. Love it.

28. What wonders you can make with triangles and squares.

Yes, this is another rainbow pattern. But this one uses thin triangle and checker rings to form a star.

29. You never know what kind of stuff you’ll find under the sea.

Though you may not find mermaids you’d find on this quilt. Because mermaids are only found in myths and fantasy.

30. You can have so many photographs and memories on one bookshelf.

And yes, the photographs can really take up space. Still, this is quite lovely for a quilt design.

31. It always takes a lot of colors to make a sky at dusk.

And this one uses plenty that it seems a bit surreal. But you can surely tell it’s a quilt for sure.

32. These sunflowers always thrive in the light.

This one also uses a lot of patchwork for its background. But it’s more apparent when you see some of the fabric patterns.

33. You always have to love it when the sun breaks out in the forest.

Yes, you may think it’s a painting. But it’s a quilt and a damn beautiful one at that.

34. There’s no bigger statement for peace on earth than this.

Sure it may be a rainbow peace sign that you’d associate with hippies. But each square on this has a unique pinwheel pattern.

35. Morning glories always look lovely in the moonlight.

Wait, a minute, morning glories don’t bloom at night. But it’s still beautiful nonetheless.

36. Birds in the winter snow are always a sight to see.

And here we come to birds at the feeder. Hope the cardinals and the blue jays can watch out for the owls.

And here we come to birds at the feeder. Hope the perching birds can watch out for the owls.

37. This quilt will surely be a sewer’s delight.

Well, this is just full of quilting stuff. But I’m sure die hard quilters would enjoy it.

38. Here we are gathered with women by the lake.

This one is done by some artist. But at least this one pays attention to diversity. Well, sort of.

39. Isn’t it a wonder to behold a mountain and rolling hills?

This one uses all kinds of fabric for a painting effect. Not sure about the lone trees standing.

40. Bask in the glory of the animals of Africa.

This one surely has a lot of squares dedicated to animals in Africa. Love the background.

41. Guess the Seven Dwarves are engaging in the Seven Deadly Sins.

Yes, the dwarves surely have a naughty side to them. But then again, greed is kind of understandable since they work in a mine.

42. There’s nothing stunning like a canyon waterfall in autumn.

Well, it certainly looks like it. Sure it seems like a painting. But you can easily see the stitching if you look close enough.

43. A spring garden is always in its glory in May.

Because an April garden looks like shit since it’s early spring and rains a lot. Love the flowers though.

44. The sun’s energy brings nature’s bounty.

As you can see within the embroidered strips. All in all, this is beautiful.

45. A shelf should always be filled with memories.

This one even includes photos possibly translated from computer to fabric. One even includes the 3 Stooges.

46. A tree can have leaves of so many colors.

And I’m not just talking about fall colors either. Since this includes pink and blue, too.

47. A flower bouquet could fit in any basket.

Well, they sure have a wide variety of styles. Can’t exactly say which one is the prettiest.

48. Sometimes with patterns it helps to start small.

I’m not sure if minimalistic is the way to go. But, hey, whatever works.

49. A moon phase quilt brings in the glory of the night.

Well, this one surely has the moon phases and the dark sky. Love the snowflake stars.

50. If you love pansies, then you’ll enjoy this quilted heart.

Love the floral background on this. Like especially how all the flowers in this wreath are purple, too.

51. These women look stunning in their patchwork dresses.

Didn’t know you can do sophisticated folk art on a quilt, did you? Still, I don’t think they’ll conform to the ball dress code.

52. A coral reef is beaming with ocean life and color.

However, be aware that climate change has wiped out a lot of reefs through coral bleaching. So a scene like this may not be around in a few decades.

53. One quilt can always consist of a variety of patterns.

Maybe not in this case. But I do love the colors on this. Great for any modern style apartment.

54. Autumn leaves always bring fall into the air.

Love the rainbow background squares. Since most of the leaves on here are brown, yellow, and orange.

55. With strips of fabric you can make your own sensational flower.

And each petal is unique in its own way. Love this style.

56. A quilt like this always carries a rustic touch.

This one features farms as you can see. Not sure what to think about the dome one though. Such an unusual shape.

57. Check out this quilted mountain majesty.

This one even has blue flowers on a hillside. Love the background though.

58. A forest can always look glorious in the sunrise.

Well, it certainly seems like the kind you’d see in a painting. Love how they used different pieces of fabric for the hills.

59. A quilt like this shows Africa is a true carnival of animals.

This one has the kind of animals you’d see on the Savannah. And yes, a lot of these are on the Endangered Species list.

60. Bet you’ve never seen a canyon like this before.

And I’m not kidding. Love how the sun is on the face. Love the river.

61. There’s nothing fun like rainbow spirals.

Well, that’s an interesting configuration. Love the design. Sure to be a real winner.

62. You have to love how a full moon looks in a frozen river.

Then again, the water may not be frozen. But you have to love this one, especially when it pertains to the moonlight.

63. Now this is what I call patchwork in modern art.

And she seems to be holding a snake. Still, if Picasso did quilting, he’d probably do something like this.

64. You can even get a more colorful array with a few more trimmings.

This one an improvement on a previous quilt. Love the rainbow scheme as always.

65. A landscape quilt like this is nothing but a stunner.

Well, it seems to be of the plains. And as someone from western Pennsylvania, it looks rather flat.

66. Never saw a necktie maze before.

Yes, some quilters use neckties for their projects. After all, it’s just another piece of fabric.

67. If you like Japanese art, this quilt is just for you.

The female figures are a dead giveaway. Love the scenery.

68. A blue heron is a glorious bird on a quilted tapestry.

This one even uses strips of cloth to show the scenery. Lovely.

69. There’s nothing more quaint than a village on a hill.

Well, you’d never see a colorful village like this. But it doesn’t hurt to dream.

70. A small honey pot can come in so many colors.

Doesn’t hurt that each one is shaped like a bear. But c’mon multicolored honey, please.

71. It’s always amazing what you’d find in the ocean.

This one is also quite stylized. But it’s quite a cool quilt to look at. Love it.

72. You can always find a lot of fancy fans.

Each of them has their unique design. Love the purple background and floral patterns especially.

73. There’s nothing like this quilt that pays tribute to the 4 seasons.

Well, as far as personifications go. Honestly, I think this quilter might’ve been on acid.

74. It’s almost as if you can see the plants talking.

Okay, maybe not like this. Yet, I kind of find this amusing and disturbing at the same time.

75. You can always use different patterns to create a picture.

Sure it might make your eyes sore. But it represents an interesting configuration that I just had to include it.

76. This canyon waterfall is always a wondrous sight.

This is so lovely. Guess it could be some kind of oasis in the desert. Or the Grand Canyon.

77. There’s nothing more idyllic than an old mill and bridge.

Well, it surely looks like a painting. But it was a real patchwork to bring it together.

78. You can never lay your eyes on something as stunning as a redwood forest.

Of course, this is probably a quilt depicting some place out west that will probably be damaged by wild fire. Because I know they don’t see as much rainfall there.

79. You can make a geometric scene with so many small shapes.

Doesn’t hurt if it’s in rainbow. Love how all the colors all come together.

80. Nothing beats the view of this seaside mountain town.

Love the beautiful sunset of the mountain. Heard this is from somewhere in the northwest.

81. Hope you can gaze on this patchwork octopus.

The octopus doesn’t seemed stitched on at all. Like the water and tentacles.

82. This tree only seems swept by the wind.

Guess this is an autumn tree since it barely has any leaves. But it’s surely captured moving in the wind’s direction.

83. There’s nothing so magnificent like crashing waves.

This is especially so during a sunset. Love the rocky beach and the tide.

84. Pansies can always be pretty in patchwork.

And I’m sure not kidding here. Almost seems like it’s coming together. Love the purple flowers though.

85. Each quilting square here has its own North American bird.

Of course, this is a winter scene as you see. Like how some of them are couples with families.

86. A quilt like this surely gives you butterflies.

After all, this quilt features butterflies in so many colors. None of which you’d find in real life.

87. You never know what you’d find under the sea.

Sure it can look like a thriving place in some areas. But you have to mind the plastic, the bleaching, and ocean acidification.

88. I’m sure you’d find this quilted robot particularly badass.

Who says quilts had to be boring? This robot even has spikes. Don’t want to get near that.

89. Here we come to a mountain range during a spring melt.

Well, that sure seems like a lovely scene. Hope not to see something like this until March.

90. With so many diamonds and other pieces, you can make a real patchwork star.

And boy, does this look stunning? Love the pieces on this. Though it’s not as easy on the eyes.

91. Now this is a quilt you’d want on a camping trip.

And yes, this is a camping quilt. Love the camping shelter and campers.

92. How about a magical winter snow scene?

As you see, this is from the mountains. Love the purple mountains majesty and the trees.

93. This cross quilt is surely a holy sight.

Well, you can easily say that Christianity is its own patchwork. Still, make sure it doesn’t touch the floor.

94. A quilt like this can bring sweet music to Old McDonald.

Ant it seems like Old McDonald gave his livestock acid. That’s why the sheep are all different colors.

95. All life always dwarfs around a tree.

Though it’s not without showing the fruits and flowers of nature. Like the birds, too.

96. When you look around the birds and the trees can be all kinds of colors.

Now that’s quite a sight to see. The leaves are just as colorful as the birds on this one.

97. It’s always peaceful near a quiet river.

Though quiet rivers do have their moments occasionally. But this seems simply serene.

98. A bouquet of flowers should always stand out on the quilted tapestry.

This one even has a cat and an arch with vines. But the roses are gorgeous.

99. Any quilt always has to be as pretty as a peacock.

This one seems quite flashy with embroidery and silk. But I adore it nevertheless.

100. There’s nothing like a sunset between 2 trees.

And yes, this is certainly a sight for any photo or painting. But it’ll sure melt your heart as much it’ll warm your body.

The Squeaky Clean World of Shower Curtains

Posted by historymaniacmegan on December 29, 2016

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Shower curtains provide a critical purpose in the bathroom. First, they help ensure privacy when one is in the shower (assuming that one’s not transparent like the one above). Second, they keep the water coming from the shower from splashing everywhere in the bathroom. Of course, it’s no surprise that many shower curtains are made from waterproof materials like vinyl or plastic. At my house, there’s a shower curtain with 2 layers that consist of a thinner decorative one as well as a plastic one designed to keep the water. And you have to make sure the inner white layer goes into the tub. At any rate, most shower curtains usually have a plain, geometric, or ocean design. Sometimes they’re clear plastic like this one above as well. But though I can go all about showing the great shower curtains, you’ll most likely be bored to tears. So instead, I’ll devote this post to some of the crazy ones. Many of these might consist of shower curtains you’d want but know that it would not go well with the guests or the children.Then again, there may be other reasons. So for your reading pleasure, I bring you an assortment of some of the great curtains for your bathroom.

There’s nothing more badass than a bear on top of a shark.

Helps that the bear is standing upright on a tidal wave with an assault rifle. This is hilarious.

2. Who’s that coming from the shower?

I’m sure this is from a horror movie of some sort. But yes, it looks kind of scary. Guaranteed to help guests with constipation.

3. A shower curtain like this shows us the wonders of the universe.

I bet any money that Dr. Neil Degrasse Tyson has a shower curtain like this in his bathroom. Or he’d want to have one like this.

4. As we all know, unicorns always have rainbows coming from their butt.

If you’re a demented girl that enjoys cutesy fantasy stuff and bathroom jokes, I have your answer. Seriously, you’d totally want this.

5. There’s nothing brighter in the bathroom like a curtain of neon colored giraffes.

No, this isn’t an acid trip. It’s a real shower curtain depicting neon giraffes. I’m sure if they were on the Savannah, you’d be able to see them from miles away.

6. Looks like this bathroom has a problem with zombie infestation.

Don’t worry, it’s just a zombie shower curtain. But on the bright side, it’s guaranteed to help with constipation.

7. This cat means serious business.

Here we have a kitty on a unicorn with laser eyes that shoots fire through its nostrils. Even funnier the cat carries a golden handgun. This is brilliant.

8. Remember to never stop dreaming.

Even if your dreams pertain to a pirate giraffe riding a flying shark. Okay what the fuck?

9. Here we have Jesus on the shore.

There were quite a few good Jesus ones that would’ve been funnier. But I couldn’t save them at a suitable size. So this is as good as you’re going to get on this post.

10. While Apple as the iPod, a high tech bathroom has this curtain.

It’s called the iPood. And it’s not something that you should do in the shower. Nor should the iPeed.

11. Never saw a T-Rex on a bicycle before.

Yes, I know it’s quite ridiculous. But so is the notion of Jurassic Park. And despite that many would want think bringing back dinosaurs may be awesome, we should understand why it may not be a good idea.

12. Remember the shower doesn’t double as a urinal.

Remember despite how tempting it may be, don’t pee in the shower. Shower is for cleaning. Not for taking a whizz.

13. In case you don’t know how to text pictures, this shower curtain has emoticons.

Well, emoticons are things you type to express feelings. Nowadays, emojis have made that almost antiquated.

14. My, that seems like a dignified portrait of Keith Richards.

Of course, we should all know that despite all the things he did to himself, he’s still alive. And he’s outliving so many celebrities. We can’t explain it.

15. Well, well, well, what the hell happened here?

Yes, it’s a bloody shower curtain you’d expect to find in a serial killer’s bathroom. Sure to freak out your guests and make a great Halloween decoration. Also helps with constipation.

16. Is there something burning from the tub?

$Relax, it's just a shower curtain with red flames. But where I live, it might make people think your water supply has been fracked.$

Relax, it’s just a shower curtain with red flames. But where I live, it might make people think your water supply has been fracked.

17. How about a shower curtain of the world?

Note that borders in some regions might be subject to change. This is particularly true in Eastern Europe, the Middle East, and Africa.

18. Barbie can kick a unicorn’s ass if you let her.

The unicorn can even puke a rainbow, too. Imagine that. Still, hilarious.

19. Nothing makes a guy more manly than punching a grizzly bear.

Yet, a manlier man has enough common sense to avoid one as much as possible. Because disturbing such animals has very unfortunate implications.

Yet, a manlier man has enough common sense to avoid one as much as possible, especially if it’s a mama and her cubs. Because disturbing such animals has very unfortunate implications.

20. You have to admit, this sloth really knows how to pole dance.

Not bad for an animal who only climbs out of a tree to go to the bathroom. Still, I couldn’t leave this sloth stripper out. This is just so funny as hell.

21. Don’t mind this deep sea diver feeding the fishes.

You know most animal places have rules against feeding the animals. The ocean should be no different.

22. This deep sea diver can even punch a shark.

Scratching the shark’s eye would’ve done the trick. But it wouldn’t look nearly as awesome.

23. You see, I told you rhino horns have special properties.

Okay, rhino horns may not sprout rainbows in the cosmos. But this is just too funny to miss. Love it.

24. Perhaps you might want some llama fries with that.

Well, they’re llamas in a French fry container. I know it doesn’t make sense but it’s pretty funny.

25. This cat knight rides to adventure on his noble narwhal.

I guess he rides in the water without a breathing apparatus. Still love how the cat has a bridal and saddle on the narwhal.

26. There’s nothing more beautiful than abstract clouds.

Or as I call it an acid trip. But you can see all the pretty infrared colors quite clearly.

27. Hope this T-Rex remembers to scrub its ribs.

Not sure what to think about the T-Rex skeleton in the shower. But at least it can scrub its back.

28. Remember to check for a killer in the shower before going to the bathroom.

Okay, that may not make your guests very comfortable. But it’ll sure help them with constipation.

29. Space Cat always explores and goes where no cat has gone before.

I’m sure people would like seeing a cat in an astronaut suit. Yes, it’s ridiculous. But what’s not to love?

30. Sailors might want to beware of this undead mermaid.

To be fair, mermaids weren’t originally seen as benevolent beings. And many were said to lure sailors to their doom. Just saying.

31. I believe something went wrong in this shower.

Well, this is more of a take off of a web page from Internet Explorer. Yes, this page can’t be displayed.

32. Wonder what your toothbrush and toilet roll say to each other.

Sorry, but the toilet paper is right. The toothbrush doesn’t have the worst job ever.

33. This goldfish has a brilliant disguise.

Sorry, but that’s not going to work. Then again, the goldfish could be compensating for something.

34. Jesus, it’s raining cats and dogs.

Well, in this case quite literally. Not sure if the umbrella will provide protection from that.

35. Here we come to a lovely scene of cats on the beach.

I’m sure cat lovers will go all gaga with this. I especially like the cat holding binoculars.

36. I suppose this is a poster for Moby Dick.

Yes, it’s in a Jaws poster rendition. But it involves a wooden ship and a white sperm whale.

37. Show your pride of the South with this Confederate flag shower curtain.

However, this will not make you endearing to black guests in any way, shape, or form. Seriously, such products like these show that institutional racism is alive and well in America.

38. Seems like someone’s washing windows.

Well, that’s quite clever. Not sure about depicting it a a shadow though.

39. Fans of the Empire Strikes Back would want a shower curtain of Dagobah.

However, hope that you emerge from the shower not smelling like you’ve been to Dagobah to learn the ways of the Force. Yeah, that place probably doesn’t smell great at any stretch of the imagination.

40. Enjoy the great taste of Coca Cola or blood.

Yes, that’s Janet Leigh from Psycho shortly before she’s murdered in the shower. Yeah, I know it’s demented but it’s quite unique.

41. With this shower curtain, you can go on social networking.

You can even have your profile picture on the left column. Of course, your Facebook page no longer looks like this anymore.

42. Bacon lovers will surely rejoice for this shower curtain.

Now that doesn’t make me feel clean. More like greasy beyond all recognition.

43. You might not want to go near here since there’s a crime investigation in process.

Well, that should keep people away from the shower. But it’s probably not 100% effective.

44. Now you can learn yoga poses while you’re on the toilet.

You have to wonder who makes stuff like this. Not sure if you can do all of them in the bathroom.

45. Men with facial hair might want to take this curtain to mind.

Kind of reminds me of the Mugshots game my sister and I used to play at my grandparents.’ Of course, there are some styles that aren’t recommended.

46. If you’re into chemistry, this shower curtain is just for you.

After all, it’s clearly meant for people who take any matter seriously. Or hold anything to be elemental. Yet, if you have a noble gas, feel free to let it out.

47. If you like to sing in the shower, you might like to sing in the rain.

I guess this is the iconic Gene Kelly pose from Singin’ in the Rain. Too bad he uses his umbrella as a dancing prop.

48. “Are you sure this water’s sanitary? It looks questionable to me.”

This is from Tarzan. But I’m sure you’ve probably asked that when the water doesn’t look normal.

49. Looks like we have a black bear peering from the fence.

If you see a bear like this in your neighborhood, you might want to call animal control. Because nothing good can come of this.

50. Between pizza and tacos, this kitty shouldn’t have to choose.

And it’s in a cosmos background. Still, this just goes beyond all explanation. But it’s brilliant.

51. Of course, you can always go with Han Solo frozen in carbonite.

However, we need to acknowledge that he suffered a worse fate in The Force Awakens. And I’m sure fans know what I mean by that.

52. I’m sure you’re just seeing things with this hallucination cat.

Yeah, I find a lot of cat curtains from Google Images. Yet, this one is purple with a mustache, glasses, and third eye.

53. “Ewoks roasting on an open fire.”

I know that plenty of Star Wars fans don’t like the Ewoks. And I’m one of the fans who do. Either way, I couldn’t pass this over.

54. Sometimes it always seems like a rush.

I’m sure plenty of people have been told to hurry up while doing their bathroom business. But this shadow uses a megaphone.

55. It seems that this whale is talented on French Horn.

This one is called “Whale Song.” I’m sure you can see why. And no, it’s not the whale song you’re thinking.

56. Seems like it’s bath time for the dogs.

Well, they sure look like corgis. But if this pertained to bigger dogs, you wouldn't be able to fit them in a tub.

But if this pertained to bigger dogs, you wouldn’t be able to fit them in a tub. Yet, I’m sure people would find this adorable.

57. Nothing captures the spirit of man like Rodin’s Thinker.

And here he is sitting on the toilet like a modern man. Except that he’s naked.

58. Uh, you might not want to meet that guy.

This is from the German silent horror movie Nosferatu. And let’s just say vampire Count Orlok is no Robert Pattinson.

59. It’s not every day you run into a beluga in the woods.

Of course, you might be experiencing an hallucination. Or looking at this shower curtain. If it’s the former, go see your doctor.

60. You might want to beware of Norman Bates in a dress while you’re in the shower.

Yes, this is definitely from Psycho. Without that movie, you’d surely wouldn’t have all these killer shower curtains. Get it?

61. This space bound hotdog is going where no wiener has gone before.

It’s even strapped to a rocket. Though I don’t think that’s an adequate space suit.

62. This creature in the woods is very good with the chemistry.

Yes, it’s a bear with antlers. And yes, it’s a takeoff on Breaking Bad. But at least this animal is brewing beer, not making meth.

63. As women know, telling men to put the toilet seat down is serious business.

Okay, maybe not threatening your man by knife serious. But yes, guys, if you live with a woman, always put down the seat after you pee. It’s just basic human decency.

64. To the Creature of the Black Lagoon, here’s the perfect woman for you.

I also heard she’s accepted a position in the Trump administration. I don’t know which one though but she’ll certainly feel right at home among the swamp cronies.

65. Oh, shit, not the giant sloth!

And I see the sloth clawing at the Titanic. I’m sure it won’t end well at all.

66. Unfortunately, Slothzilla made it up the Empire State Building.

I know it’s called Slozilla. But it reminds me much more of King Kong since it seems from the 1930s.

67. Looks like these llamas enjoy a starry night.

Or at least a backdrop of Starry Night by Van Gogh. Yet, they may seem silly but be on your guard.

68. Tragically, we find someone hanging on a noose.

Now this is just not in good taste. Seriously, hangings shouldn’t be acceptable motifs since they’re associated with suicide and white supremacist terrorism.

69. Even the Bard sometimes wondered about the simple things in life.

Well, if you’re dwelling to pee or not to pee, the answer is always to pee. After all, if you’re not dwelling on that, you probably don’t have to go.

70. Never thought a Steampunk snail can look so badass.

Oh, it’s a snail house. But don’t snails live in their shell? This doesn’t make sense.

71. Sometimes a sloth would give synchronized swimming a try.

Yes, I know this looks pretty ridiculous. But c’mon, synchronized swimming is a joke. So I think this is clever.

72. No, it’s not okay to peek when someone’s taking a shower.

Yeah, that’s not cool. Also, why is the girl wearing a dress?

73. It’s now Shower Time Cleanliness System.

This is a takeoff on the old Nintendo games. Still, video game nerds will love it.

74. Remember, having your cat on weed may seem awesome until it’s not.

Yet, I have to admit, this is quite amusing. The pipe and glasses speak for themselves.

75. Seems like some hottie just got out of the shower.

Though he didn’t take his towel off quite yet. But I’m sure some women would want him to. Great for Magic Mike and 300 fans.

76. Amity Island welcomes you. Oh, wait we’re closed.

Because there’s a shark in a water that’s been killing people during the summer. Chief Brody didn’t have any other option.

77. See, I told you Jesus saves.

Since he never misses the shots when he’s the goalie. However, he decided not to go with the hockey mask since he didn’t want to freak out anyone.

78. Could you think of anything cooler than a T-Rex in space?

However, we need to know that they have very short arms. Not great for reaching in zero gravity.

79. Unfortunately, Arles was no match for the Galactic Empire.

But at least it looks pretty on a starry night. This is especially true in a Van Gogh painting.

80. Hope you can keep this in mind when taking an elephant shit.

Still, doesn’t answer how you can toilet train an elephant though. But this is hysterical.

What I Want for Christmas Letters to Santa

Posted by historymaniacmegan on December 19, 2016

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Every Christmas it’s not uncommon for kids to write letters to Santa Claus on what they want for Christmas. Normally this would consist of kids writing requests for toys. But it’s not always the case. This letter above is by my cousin Ben wrote in preschool. Of course, he can be a little smartass since he’s asking for the whole kit and caboodle. Seeing this letter on Facebook got me thinking about the kind of letters kids write to Santa. Turns out the internet has plenty of letters from various sites like Buzzfeed. Anyway, for your reading pleasure, I give you a treasure trove of children’s letters to the big guy at the North Pole. In case you want to know about letters to Santa, it’s perfectly fine to send your letter to the North Pole since the United States Postal Service has their own Letters from Santa program.

Dear Santa, give me a Lady Gaga doll or I’ll break your legs.

Little Tommy isn’t fooling around either, Santa. You better give this kid a Lady Gaga doll. Sounds like a mobster at the end.

2. If you want to know what this kid wants for Christmas, here’s the link.

Makes me wonder why children don’t e-mail Santa more often. Might make Santa’s work much easier.

3. Apparently, one kid isn’t happy about Santa Claus this year.

Guess this kid saw Mommy kissing Santa Claus last Christmas. Seems to be a little Grinch in the making.

4. Well, at least this little girl is honest.

Then again, she may not be that greedy. Or she just might be blurting out song lyrics. Not sure which.

5. Send a computer to Jack if you have the money, Santa.

Sure a computer might be expensive and bulky. But if Santa will give one, it’ll be for the whole family, not just the kid.

6. Someone seems worried that Santa would get stuck in the chimney.

Uh, I’m sure Santa will have no problem coming down chimneys. But the kid makes an excellent point.

7. Dear Santa, if you don’t give me what I want, I will hunt you down and kill you.

Santa, you might want to give the little girl what she wants. Because she certainly means business. Then again, I don’t think Santa and his reindeer could die.

8. Dear Santa, I’ve been a good boy this year so why did you give me stupid presents?

Boy, seems like Johnny was very disappointed with what he got for Christmas. And he doesn’t seem to take it well.

9. So, Santa, how are things at the North Pole.

Well, at least this one is friendly. But the Hot Topic gift card request kills me.

10. Dear, Santa, if you’re real, please prove it to me.

Good luck with asking proof from Santa that he exists. Still, you can’t really blame the kid for trying.

11. Dear Santa, I’ve been okay this year, here’s what my family wants for Christmas.

This little girl even listed her home and cell number to Santa. I think Santa doesn’t need to know that.

12. Dear Santa, bring me toys or I will hurt Rudolph further.

The kid even has a graphic of Rudolph’s nose in a box. Still, I don’t think that’ll sway Santa.

13. Dear Santa, just sand me Hannah Montana everything.

I’m sure this letter was written before 2013 when Miley Cyrus’s Hannah Montana was extremely popular with young girls. Yet, her wholesome image would soon change after her Disney Channel show ended.

14. This year Lucy wants a bank account and a slim body and not get the two mixed up.

I’m sure Lucy’s wishes echo what a lot of adults want for Christmas. However, I’d just ask for the fat bank account.

15. This kid seems to have a lot of questions about Santa.

Yet, little Spencer still sneaks in what he wants for Christmas. Still, this is cute.

16. Dear Santa, give me a camera because I want one.

Well, at least this kid gets straight to the point. Didn’t really say why though.

17. Santa, bring me a smartphone and something for my brother, too.

Judging from the crayon, I think she might be a bit young for a smart phone. But at least she keeps her brother in mind.

18. Santa, please give me Hannah Montana concert tickets and here’s why.

Looks like this little girl really did her homework on the music business. Like how she talked about scalpers.

19. Please give me Yu-gi-oh for Christmas to impress the boys.

I guess this girl really has some inadequacy issues. Hey, girl, you don’t need to impress boys to be fulfilled in life. Also, how old are you?

20. Seems like this kid wants a bunch of hunting equipment for Christmas.

I think this guy might be a little old to write to Santa. Still, if he wants all that stuff for Christmas, he could easily go to places like Gander Mountain or Cabela’s.

21. Dear Santa, I want a lot of things for Christmas, does 39 items seem too much?

Guess this girl has a long list of what she wants for Christmas. But yes, 39 is a bit much.

22. Dear Santa, if you bring anything with batteries make sure they’re included.

At least this seems pretty reasonable. Having gifts that require batteries that aren’t included is a real pain in the ass.

23. Dear Santa Claus, give me $5.3 billion.

I’m sure people would want $5.3 billion at some point. But I think asking for a few hundred is much more reasonable.

24. Dear Santa, please give me Taylor Swift tickets, Nordstrom clothes, and a boyfriend.

On second thought, the boyfriend seems more reasonable than the other two. However, dating doesn’t work this way.

25. Santa, I’m perfectly fine with getting coal and spending time with my family but I enjoy opening presents.

Seems like she’s really buttering the big guy up. What a way to sneak it in, girl.

26. Since Mommy’s on a diet, is Cheez-Its all right with you?

To be fair, kids don’t understand much about nutrition. Also goes on to talk about pets.

27. For Christmas I’d want a stuffed chicken.

So this could mean a delectable dish or taxidermy. Hope it’s the former. Because taxidermied animals are creepy.

28. Looks like the game cops and robbers has become more advanced these days.

Wonder what asking for such police stuff says about our culture these days. I think handcuffs would’ve been more reasonable.

29. Santa, this year I want a puppy, a real puppy, not a stuffed one.

As we all know, puppies make terrible Christmas gifts since many would prefer to pick the animal. But this kid doesn’t understand that.

30. Dear Santa, please take everyone’s guns away.

Hey, kid, maybe you should ask Santa for reasonable gun control laws like universal background checks and an assault weapons ban. No need to resort to drastic measures.

31. Dear Santa, send diapers for my baby brother.

I’m guessing this kid is at least pre-school age. From how I look at it. The incident with the pee is disgusting.

32. Santa, give me a puppy. By the way, you suck.

This kid doesn’t seem very happy. Yeah, please rub it in Santa’s face, how could you?

33. Dear Santa, either turn me into a dragon or give me a pet dragon.

Sure dragons may be cool. But that doesn’t mean you’d want one. Just read Harry Potter or any fantasy story. Besides, they’re mythical creatures anyway.

34. Dear Santa, I’m beginning to wonder about your elves’ work quality.

Well, elf competency concerns is reasonable. Too bad that a lot of the products this kid describes is probably made from cheap labor in an Asian nation.

35. This Christmas give a turtle since they’re cool.

Sure turtles may be cool in their own way. They’re also a lot of work and aren’t very nice.

36. Santa, is it true you’re not coming to my house because Obama got reelected?

From reading this, I wonder what this kid’s parents listen to. I’m sure they voted for that steaming piece of shit Donald Trump this year.

37. Santa, if you give anyone a monkey, it will be bad.

At least the kid knows a think or two about why keeping exotic pets is a bad idea. If I had a kid who wants a monkey, they could forget it.

38. Dear Santa, please don’t give me a little sister in 2 years.

I’m sure Samantha won’t like it if her mom has to tell her she’s pregnant. That won’t go well.

39. Santa, could you get me a couple of things for Christmas? Here’s a list.

Note: When a letter to Santa says, “Flip page” you can tell it’s not just a couple of things. Yeah, kid has a long list.

40. Dear Santa, please give me these presents for my life depends on it.

I’m sure this kid won’t get a lot of these presents. And it’s not going to be the end of the world. Though there always has to be one who makes everything seem dramatic.

41. Haven’t been too good this year, but could you send me a LEGO train anyway.

Uh, doesn’t Santa give presents to the good kids? Not sure if this child knows how it works.

42. Dear Santa, could you give me superpowers if possible?

Sorry, kid, but superpowers don’t work that way. You can’t just ask Santa for them.

43. For Christmas this year I want hair like Rapunzel.

No, kid, you don’t want 5 feet long hair. Because you’d probably have to spend a lot on hair care products and hours brushing it.

44. No, Santa, I didn’t mean that. I would never do that.

From PopSugar: “Dear Santa, sorry for saying, ‘I’m going to punch you in the face!’ I would never do that because I am a good boy and I know hitting is wrong. Love, Ryder.”

45. Here’s all the stuff I want for Christmas.

Man, those look pretty expensive. But at least she’s smart to use the Wal Mart catalog.

46. Dear Santa, how do you get into my house?

I’m guessing this kid’s family doesn’t have a chimney. I’m sure Santa has other ways.

47. Dear Santa, please help the homeless and here’s what I want.

Sure the kid may want Santa to help the homeless. But everyone has a list of their own toys.

48. Santa, my dad talked about the Krampus and he gave me nightmares.

Either this girl is scared of the Krampus or she’s using the monster as a bargaining chip. Not sure which.

49. Dear Santa, please give me $100 and a $50 gift card and it cant’ be to food places.

This girl really doesn’t mess around. Also wants to be able to paint her nails.

50. Dear Mr. Claus, I’ve been very bad so please send me coal.

This is certainly not from a kid but a CEO of a coal company. And no, Santa, coal won’t teach him a lesson. How about give him a possible long jail sentence for environmental and worker safety violations?

51. What I want for Christmas is a McDonald’s in my neighborhood.

I’m not sure what to think of this. Because a McDonald’s is one of the last things I’d want in my community.

52. Dear Santa, can you send me a mixed elf on the shelf?

Yes, I know there are plenty of families that do Elf on the Shelf. But to be honest, Elf on the Shelf is creepy which is why I like to make fun of it around the holidays.

53. Dear Santa, I don’t ask for much. Maybe about 100 things.

Uh, asking for 100 things is going way overboard. How about you narrow it down a bit?

54. Santa, if you can please don’t send me any clothes!

Yeah, we all know kids don’t like getting clothes for Christmas. They’re not fun like toys. But kids have no idea that they need them.

55. Give it to me straight, Santa, am I on the naughty list?

Well, that might be a good question. But would you really want to know?

56. Dear Santa, is it true you read all the letters because I doubt it.

Well, at least this girl is being reasonable about the letters. Yet, she still made a list.

57. Dear Santa, I’ve been good this year. I’ve brought beer to my dad from the fridge.

To be fair, this girl may not understand that bringing beer for Daddy from the fridge may not be a good idea. This is especially if Daddy has a problem.

58. If Santa was wise, he might consider giving this kid a dictionary for Christmas.

I don’t expect these letters to be grammatically sound with proper spelling. But this one contains the words “slay” for “sleigh” and “rape” for “wrap.” So it’s pretty noteworthy for a post like this.

59. Dear Santa, sorry for being bad but could you give me a few things.

You know these kind of letters are usually followed by a long list. Yeah, those aren’t just a few things.

60. Dear Santa, I have a few questions to ask.

I’m sure Santa could answer those for you soon. And yes, he will be quiet, believe me.

61. Dear Santa, can you please bring me pizza?

If you want pizza, there are better ways than asking Santa for it. How about calling your local pizza place?

62. Dear Santa, please, please, please give me these things.

Hey, kid, you don’t need to say please all the time. I’m sure Santa understands.

63. Santa better bring a pony this year.

Still, that’s a terrible pony drawing. What the hell is it? Looks like some weird cartoon alien. Still, the kid’s not fooling around.

64. Dear Santa, I’ve been good this year since I’ve picked up a lot of crap.

Picking up dog poop is nothing to be humble about. But where I live, you don’t have to do that.

65. Santa, can you fill this questionnaire for me?

Seems like this kid wants to know a little bit more about Santa. Not sure if Santa has any time for that.

66. Santa, show yourself to me that you’re real.

Guess this kid doesn’t buy in the whole Santa thing. You probably have that with kids sometimes.

67. Dear Santa, can you send me a real pet cub, please?

I’m sure this kid will be very disappointed on Christmas. Because a real cub for Christmas is worse than a puppy. For the love of God, they grow up to be fierce wild cats. Maybe a stuffed one would be better.

68. Dear Santa, I’ve been okay but if you don’t give me anything I understand.

Well, at least this kid is trying to have a more realistic self-awareness. And at least shows appreciation.

69. Dear Santa, please give me a new football because my evil little brother stole mine.

Sibling rivalries always start young, don’t they? Also, probably doesn’t have a chimney.

70. Dear Santa, I have big butts and I cannot lie…

Well, at least the kid didn’t use the whole song. Because it has rather adult lyrics. But it’s funny.

71. Dear Santa, please send me a Venus flytrap.

Okay, other than the Venus Flytrap bit, the letter is mostly normal. However, you have to wonder about this kid when you see the illustrations.

72. Santa, does Rudolph have two noses?

No, Rudolph just has one nose, kid. What made you ask that question?

73. Dear Santa, I know you’re a marketing ploy but I just want stuff or else.

The boy even says that Santa and his wife are gambling addicts and has a picture of the Grim Reaper. Also, talks about the Dolphin mafia.

74. Dear Santa, please get my boat to work for it’s just in my yard.

Too bad this kid has no idea if a boat should work, it should be in water. And please let the boat be a toy.

75. Dear Santa, give me a signed picture of you and your elves.

I don’t think Santa gives out autographed photos, kid. And I’m sure elves might not be allowed to send their photos out to children either.

76. Dear Santa, here are the things I want and can you send me Steeler stuff?

Looks like he left somethings out in his original letter. Not sure if he lives in my area since the Steelers are my local NFL team.

77. Santa, you’re fat you’ll be getting no cookies at my house this year.

Man, this girl says that Santa needs to lose some pounds so she and her mom are giving him veggies. Not sure if the big guy would appreciate it.

78. Dear Santa, please give my brother Mitch some things since he writes bad and hates reading.

Seems like this girl doesn’t have a lot of nice things to say about him. Also, she tells Santa that’s not his sign.

79. Dear Santa, please bring Leonardo DiCaprio to my house this year.

Sorry, but I don’t think Santa could do that. Also, I’m not sure if he’s cute at the moment, especially since the Revenant. But if you live in an area adversely affected by climate change, maybe he’ll stop by.

80. Dear Santa, can you sign this to prove you’re real?

And I see, “Ho Ho Ho” on the line. Not sure if that’s what this little boy wants.

81. Santa, can you please come before 6:00 a.m.?

Because Santa shouldn’t want to wake up this early bird. Also stocking on the left.

82. Santa, will you give me a second chance this year? Explain.

This kid put “yes/no” and lines for Santa to write on. Not sure if Santa wants to answer that.

83. Santa, I just want my family to be happy and these things.

The materialism is bound to creep up somehow. It always does in these kind of letters.

84. Dear Santa, I have a lot of questions to ask you.

This one asks what Santa is giving his sisters, whether his friend is on nice list and what Santa does with the gifts he can’t fit in his sleigh. Also, how tall are elves.

85. Seems like Calvin knows what he wants for Christmas.

Okay, I don’t think this is from a kid. Because I don’t think children would even watch The Internship that stars Owen Wilson and Vince Vaughn.

86. Sorry, we couldn’t give you any cookies, Santa, and the gingerbread made us sick.

Well, what can I say? Shit happens. We all have Christmas disasters.

87. Dear Santa, I haven’t seen a reindeer so can you leave Rudolph at our house?

No, I don’t think Santa will leave Rudolph. He needs his lead reindeer.

88. Dear Santa, can you please send pacifiers for my sister so we can sleep?

Guess her sister really likes to make a lot of noise all the time. It’s probably because she’s a baby.

89. What I want for Christmas this year is some toys and an AK-47.

No, you don’t want to give an AK-47 for Christmas. What about a better gift like almost anything else?

90. Dear Santa, there are some things I want so I devised a list for you.

This girl goes on to describe how she listed what she want. It gets pretty complicated.

91. Dear Mr. Claus, in accordance with the Christian holiday, here are the things I want for Christmas.

He goes on to say that other items would be added at a later date. So Santa should stay tuned.

92. Dear Santa, I really want a puppy, just give me one.

Seems like this girl really wants a puppy for Christmas. As I said before, puppies make terrible Christmas gifts. Better to have her pick out her own.

93. Dear Santa, I always enjoy your presents but forgive the bad stuff I did this year.

This kid really knows how to lap it up. Also requests that Santa come when parents are sleeping.

94. Dear Santa, I’ve been good but I’m not sure about my sister.

Well, sibling problems are quite common. But this boy really wants to say his sister hasn’t been that great.

95. Dear Santa, please make my brother nicer and bring him back.

I don’t know about you. But I worry whether this boy wants Santa to kidnap his brother. This is kind of disturbing.

96. This Christmas Evie’s been a bad girl but she needs presents.

But Evie doesn’t being bad should disqualify her from presents. But still, this is cute.

97. Dear Santa, please give me a DS, I’ll give you money.

This boy seems like a smooth talker. Wonder how far it would get him.

98. If you want to see my Christmas list, text my dad.

Chances are this is going to be a long list. Since I know where this is going.

99. Dear Santa, please leave the gifts at the door because I won’t be home for Christmas.

I suppose there are some kids who would be away for Christmas. But I’m sure Santa could manage.

100. Dear Santa, how do you poop? Does it look different?

Uh, I think that’s a question no one wants to ask. Except the kid who wrote this.

The Sweet Candy World of Gingerbread Architecture

Posted by historymaniacmegan on December 16, 2016

gingerbreadhouse

Two to three years ago, I did a gingerbread house post that was more or less suited to mock the tacky houses I’ve seen on the internet. However, since gingerbread houses are all the rage at Christmas time, I plan to do a post that shows all the great houses you’d see since there are plenty from Pinterest and other websites. Anyway, though gingerbread has been around since medieval times and was used to celebrate certain occasions, gingerbread houses didn’t really become all the rage until the early 1800s in Germany after the wake of the Grimm fairy tale “Hansel and Gretel.” And we all know that fairy tale centers on two abandoned children who befall on a gingerbread house that’s actually bait for a witch’s kiddie trap. Yes, it’s disturbing. But food historians claim that people made gingerbread houses before that in Germany. Yet, these suddenly became popular during Christmas and the rest is history. Today many families built gingerbread houses this time of year as a tradition and there are even contests for it. And not all of these structures are houses either. So for your reading pleasure, I give you a treasure trove of gingerbread houses that look good enough but too pretty to eat.

A gingerbread US Capitol contains mints and plenty of frosting.

Sure it might look good on the outside. But the inside may contain a government body with a lower approval rating than pond scum.

2. In New England, a gingerbread harbor is all the rage.

Never saw something like this before. Just a dock, boat, and shops.

3. Someday your prince will come in this gingerbread Snow White’s castle.

This one has a bit of snow on it. And it seems darker than the other Disney princess castles. Maybe it’s because the Wicked Queen lives there.

4. Of course, would you like fries with this gingerbread McDonald’s?

Well, this is in a more retro style than most of the current restaurants. But it’s quite clever.

5. A Christmas house must always be decked with boughs of holly.

This one has garland on its columns. Love the red shutters and green on the windows.

6. Balconies and roofs can always be held up by candy canes.

And this fancy gingerbread house is no exception. Love the swirly design on this though.

7. A pink roof on a gingerbread house is just as sweet.

This one has some pink edging on the windows. Like the pretzel fence. Lovely.

8. This gingerbread castle would be the envy of all Candyland.

Yes, that’s certainly a very fancy castle. Or is it a village? At any rate, you have to admire the decoration.

9. A gingerbread toy shop would make you feel like a kid again.

This looks like what you’d expect from an old timey toy shop to resemble. Like that kid peering through the window.

10. A magnificent train station is always a sight to behold.

Yes, this is a rather ornate train station that almost resembles a mansion. Love the towers.

11. You’d almost think this gingerbread resort is a model.

Yes, it certainly looks like it since it doesn’t seem real Christmasy. Well, with the exception of the decorated tree.

12. This clock tower is ever befitting for one near Santa’s workshop.

It even has a snowflake on top as well as a train track. Yes, Santa would be proud.

13. Row houses always have to be well decorated in red and green.

Well, that looks quite quaint. Love how each one is decorated the same way. and red brick road.

14. With Victorian row houses, have each one stacked near a hill.

You can almost see houses like this in any old town. Like how each of them is covered in different color of icing.

15. A blue dome is always easy on the eyes.

For some reason, this kind of reminds me of a funeral home. Not sure what it is. Like the balcony roof and weather vane.

16. With this gingerbread house, you can count the days till Christmas.

Of course, advent calendars don’t start on Advent. Still ,this is adorable.

17. Chex cereal often makes great roofing material.

And it makes a more earthy look than a lot of icings. This one almost seems real.

18. A gingerbread tree house overlooks a frozen lake.

Sure it’s a small house but it has lights on the steps and stockings in front. Love it.

19. A plain blue house is better than nothing.

Yes, this might be a small cottage. But it surely looks cozy and ordinary.

20. For you maritime fans, this gingerbread lighthouse is for you.

Well, it’s surely in a seafaring style. It even has a mermaid at the lake with presents.

21. For those dreaming for a white Christmas, this is the perfect gingerbread house for you.

And by “white,” I mean a Christmas with snow on the ground. Still, not sure of what to feel about the icicles here.

22. Santa’s workshop always seems to be a festive place at the North Pole.

Well, that will surely stand out in the fog of night. But it’s surely whimsical for the holiday season.

23. High end gingerbread people have their fun at a gingerbread country club.

Well, this one looks almost real. Still, golf courses are a serious waste of space if you ask me.

24. A gingerbread house must always have a roof that stands out.

This one has tiles of pink, purple, and blue. Still, love the hearts and decorations.

25. A gingerbread tiki bar offers all kinds of drinks.

This one has a gingerbread man bartender. Sure it’s not Christmasy but I’ll allow it.

26. A red brick gingerbread house should always go with a festive roof.

If it weren’t for the Necco tiles, you’d almost think it was a scaled-down model. Love the wreath on this though.

27. Feast your sweet eyes on this lavender candy mansion.

Almost reminds me of those old estates I’ve seen in pastel colors. Still, love how it’s lavender and decorated.

28. A pink Victorian can be just as enticing and sweet.

This one even has some Christmas decoration to it. Still, if it was black, it would be a haunted house.

29. For a monumental Russian icon, you’ve never seen Moscow’s St. Basil’s Cathedral like this before.

Yes, it’s surely a Russian spectacle. It’s said that Ivan the Terrible had the architect’s eyes removed so he’d never construct another beautiful building like this.

30. A gingerbread tree house is greatly shaded with popcorn leaves.

This one is from Good Housekeeping. Sure it’s quite quaint but you have to admire the creativity that went into this.

31. A Tudor gingerbread house would withstand the test of time.

Okay, maybe not. But you have to admire how it’s made with a tunnel.

32. You may have seen a gingerbread house. How about a gingerbread shop?

Not sure which shop it’s supposed to be. But it’s certainly well made like you’d see in a movie.

33. A gingerbread sweet shop is just the ticket.

After all, gingerbread houses are pastries that are decorated with candy. Well, inedible candy that is.

After all, gingerbread houses are pastries that are decorated with candy. Well, a lot of inedible candy that is.

34. Wonder what they make in that gingerbread mill.

It’s most likely either a wheat mill or a sawmill. Either way, it’ll go great with any display.

35. You’d be hard pressed not to like this gingerbread teapot house.

Seems to remind me of something that’s straight from Alice in Wonderland. Still, I think it’s quite original for a gingerbread piece.

36. A gingerbread fire department will keep everyone safe over the holidays.

Yes, this is a gingerbread firehouse. And yes, it’s decorated for Christmas. I’m sure people will enjoy this one.

37. I didn’t know they had a Christmas tree house at the North Pole.

Yes, this is quite creative if you ask me. Like how the tree is decorated. From Good Housekeeping.

38. This gingerbread house has gingerbread men on the roof.

Not sure what to think about that. Then again, the gingerbread men are small enough to be roof tiles.

39. This gingerbread tree house comes with its own set of stairs.

Well, it surely has a more convenient way around than the other tree houses on this post. Like the wooden facade.

40. For an Old Testament flair, this gingerbread Noah’s Ark is a real treat.

However, why the lions both have manes is a mystery to me. Because the animals come in two by two that consist of a male and female. Well, female lions don’t have manes.

41. This Victorian gingerbread house looks great on a Christmas card.

This one has wreath decorations on the fence and candles in the window. Love the lattice work on the roof.

42. Every gingerbread town always needs a gingerbread library.

Well, this is kind of quaint. Love the tree, garland and wreath decorations on here.

43. A gingerbread church should always have a rose window.

Well, a rose window on the roof. Like the spire on the tower and stained glass windows as well.

44. A gingerbread town should always have a place for shops.

Well, this one seems like a place you’d find at a historical town like Gettysburg. Love the clock tower and shops.

45. Victoria’s Bed and Breakfast is a great place to stay.

Almost thought this was a Christmas village set, but it’s from Good Housekeeping. The stonework is unreal.

46. This gingerbread church is a real winter treat.

I guess this is in a Romanesque style. Like the tower and the chocolate roof.

47. Santa’s Bake Shop has something cooking this time of year.

Didn’t know Santa even had a bake shop. But this is just as well since this is made from a baked good.

48. Looks like Santa has made a visit to the White House.

This is from the Obama years since it has Bo and Sunny. Reminds me of how I’m going to miss the outgoing First Family.

49. A modern gingerbread house like this has plenty of colors.

This one has a snowy roof and stone foundation from the looks of it. Not sure if I’d want a house like that.

50. A gingerbread house should always have candy trimmings.

This one has Fruit Loops on the roof,, candy cane edging and lattice, and licorice on the tower. All in all, it’s a sweet establishment that smells of mint.

51. This gingerbread flour mill is iced in a brilliant red.

Yes, this is another mill gingerbread house. But this one is more in tune with the holiday season.

52. For a more rustic touch, this gingerbread barn is for you.

This one has some Christmas decorations. Though barns in real life usually have none if they’re used to keep animals.

53. Santa Claus comes into town on his steamboat.

Though you may see these quaint steamboats in movies, the old ones were known to be quite dangerous. Seriously, they were said to catch fire in the 19th century.

54. How about a nice cozy home in the snow?

This one seems to resemble a normal house with a unrealistically clean walk way. Though Christmas decorations are present.

55. A Tudor gingerbread house is almost a fairy tale dream.

This one seems more like a fairy tale housing complex with all the stairs and archways. Though it looks lovely just the same.

56. Seems like the gingerbread van serves treats for the holidays.

This one has its menu in rainbow fonts. Yet, I’m not sure about the ginger snaps bit.

57. This gingerbread pagoda is all dolled out for Christmas.

Aren’t pagodas supposed to be the equivalent of Buddhist temples? So why it has Christmas decorations makes no sense.

58. This gingerbread log cabin brings a rustic touch.

This one gingerbread logs with icing to fill the gaps. Not to mention, the Chex roof to top it all off.

59. Seems like we found ourselves at a chocolate White House this time.

Caption: “WASHINGTON, DC – DECEMBER 02: A chocolate gingerbread house is on display in the State Dining Room during first lady Michelle Obama’s preview of the 2015 holiday decor at the White House December 2, 2015 in Washington, DC. As part of the Joining Forces initiative, the first lady welcomed military families to the White House for the first viewing of the 2015 holiday decorations.” To be fair, a gingerbread White House is kind of a holiday tradition since the Carter Administration.

60. A gingerbread adobe is well-suited for Christmas in the Southwest.

However, we should note that it doesn’t snow a lot in New Mexico and Arizona. Though this can be forgiven with gingerbread displays.

61. This gingerbread lighthouse is a beacon of splendor.

This one has Christmas decorations near the top. Still, lighthouses are usually not brown for good reason.

62. A Victorian gingerbread house could always do with a tower.

Looks kind of what you’d expect a lot of Victorian mansions to appear in a murder mystery. Like the balconies. Not sure about the tower.

63. Fans of Despicable Me would adore this gingerbread Gru house.

This one has 2 sleighs pulled by minions as well as includes Vector from the first movie. Minion fans will find this adorable.

64. A gingerbread cathedral is a treasured holy sight through a bakery window.

I’m sure this is used in a window to advertise for a bake shop. Because creating a masterpiece like this would require special skills and God-given talent.

65. At this minion house, they all deck the halls.

This one has the Gru house in lights which the minions probably put on. Still, like how they drive and pull the sleigh.

66. With Christmas decorations, this red brick house is in full holiday spirit.

Doesn’t hurt to have Santa and his reindeer stop by either. Love the decor on the windows and balcony.

67. The people of Middle Earth will feel right at home with a gingerbread Shire.

For those who don’t know, the Shire is where the Hobbits live in their little Hobbit holes. And yes, there is a gingerbread village of these.

68. Here we have Santa sailing on the seven seas.

Santa on a wooden ship with his Christmas tree on the deck. However, it’s certainly clear he’s either running this ship by magic or with an elf crew.

69. Seems like we have some golden towers in this gingerbread palace.

Or is it a church which would make much more sense with the Christmas decorations present? At any rate, it’s surely stunning.

70. These gingerbread brownstones make a festive block.

There are even a few shops around the corner. Must be a rather bustling place.

71. A gingerbread gazebo has a Christmas tree in its center.

Well, at least it almost seems like it’s from a park. Love the decorations on here.

72. All aboard at the North Pole Station.

This one even has a train for toys like a Polar Express. This is adorable.

73. This gingerbread barn has red doors and a Christmas tree.

Even includes straw inside. Though I wouldn’t think you’d want a Christmas tree to be near animals since you’d know what they’d do with it.

74. A gingerbread shoe is guaranteed to be a good fit.

This is based off the Nursery Rhyme about an old woman who lived in a shoe with a bunch of kids. Yet, this one has a few homey touches.

75. A Christmas castle has to have all the trimmings.

This gingerbread castle even has lights coming through the windows. Like how it’s in a rather whimsical style.

76. For a fun, old-fashioned, family Christmas, you can’t do without a gingerbread Griswold house.

At first I didn’t get what it supposed to be. Then I saw the RV and beads and then it hit me. Still, this is hilarious.

77. Bet you’ve never seen a grand gingerbread house like this.

Whether it’s a mansion or hotel I can’t really say. Not that it matters one way or the other.

78. So is that how Santa sorts the toys?

For a second, I almost thought it was something you see from Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. But the toy factory thing makes more sense.

79. Now that has to be a rather ornate gingerbread structure.

Though it’s a gazebo, it has walls which confuse me. So for awhile, I thought it was a guesthouse or something.

80. Hope you enjoy a match at this gingerbread Colosseum.

It’s a gingerbread model of the Roman Colosseum where gladiators fought. Of course, there’s nothing Christmas about it but it’s architecture.

81. At Santa’s Globe Theater, all the world’s a stage.

Of course, there’s a cross section to see the seating. Yet, arrangements are mostly standing room only.

82. A gingerbread Eiffel Tower will surely wow any Parisian.

It’s the kind of building that would make you think of Paris or the French. Still, when it was originally built, people didn’t think it as a crowning achievement.

83. Those on Middle Earth might not want to see this tower watching from Mordor.

No, you really don’t want to be on Sauron’s tail. This is why the Ring of Power was so dangerous since it contained part of his evil spirit.

84. This gingerbread harbor house and lighthouse will watch for stranded sailors.

Yes, this is another gingerbread lighthouse. But at least the lighthouse is white which is an ideal color (since it has to be easily seen at night).

85. Here we come across a gingerbread castle in full Christmas glory.

Yes, I show a lot of these. But this one seems to be a palace that’s straight from the Nutcracker.

86. What’s this? The Nightmare Before Christmas in gingerbread?

This should make a lot of Tim Burton fans happy. Like how Jack is in a Santa suit.

87. A gingerbread castle like this evokes a tale as old as time.

This one is straight from Beauty and the Beast. For nothing says Christmas like Stockholm Syndrome. Still, this is my favorite Disney movie by far.

88. Game of Thrones fans would appreciate a gingerbread of Kings Landing.

Of course, a Game of Thrones Christmas episode would not be a happy one. Because it would certainly entail violence and nudity that’s within HBO standards. Expect a lot of rape and murder.

89. How about a gingerbread of George Washington’s beloved Virginia Mt. Vernon?

It’s very much like Washington’s home save that it’s brown instead of white. Still, an excellent rendition Washington would be proud of.

90. If you enjoyed Alice in Wonderland, then you’ll adore this gingerbread castle.

You can see it’s quite Tim Burtonesque. But I’m sure fans would love it just the same.

91. A gingerbread Hogwarts is a place of magic and wizardry.

This one was made by a cooking school and it shows. Love this.

92. In Philadelphia, we come across a gingerbread building symbolizing early America.

Yes, this is Independence Hall where they issued the Declaration of Independence and the Constitution. See it for yourselves.

93. A log gingerbread cabin is always great for Christmas in the mountains.

Well, this is for anyone with a rustic disposition. Though the real life equivalent would cost more than a regular house.

94. Of course, it’s only proper to have a gingerbread Downton Abbey.

After all, they have gingerbread versions of other noteworthy buildings. Still, this is great.

95. This gingerbread carousel will give you a holiday ride.

Well, at least it has Santa’s sleigh. And yes, they do these, too.

96. This gingerbread castle is great for someone who enjoys being under the sea.

Yes, King Trident’s castle is surely magnificent with gingerbread and lights. Though I don’t know about him hiring Sebastian as a babysitter.

97. For a high end holiday celebrations, this gingerbread Bitmore is for you.

The Bitmore is the North Carolina home of the Vanderbilts who built their fortune in the railroad business. Anderson Cooper is related to this family through his mother.

98. Apparently, this ship came in frosted.

Yes, this is another gingerbread ship. Though it looks quite abandoned if you get my drift.

99. In the Shire you can’t find any cozier place than Bag End.

Well, you have to admit though it’s not much to look at outside, it’s a very nice place. And only home to take outside guests when Bilbo’s not on an adventure.

100. This Buckingham Palace gingerbread is a real royal treat.

Like how this one has a lot of colorful window. Wonder how it looks when its lights are turned on. Lovely.

The Enchanting Winter Wonderland of Ice Sculpture (Second Edition)

Posted by historymaniacmegan on December 15, 2016

harbin-ice-snow-festival

Now we’re on to ice sculpture which many of you are probably more familiar with than snow sculpture. Since ice sculpture is used for a lot of things like winter celebrations and weddings. And the sculptures usually tend to be smaller at any rate and usually last longer than their snow counterparts. But if you want to make a gigantic ice palace, make sure you don’t do it in Florida because it won’t last there at all. But though this is the Christmas season, there are plenty of festivals for snow and ice sculpting in January and February. One of the biggest is in China’s International Snow and Ice festival that’s held in Harbin which show some of the most lovely pieces of winter art from all over the world. And from what you see above, this could be easily seen as the ice equivalent to Las Vegas though I think it’s much more beautiful than that. Still, I had plenty of ice sculpture pics left over after doing a post two years ago. So I plan to do one again. Thus, for your reading pleasure this winter, I give you another treasury of ice sculpture.

Nudes are always a popular subject especially on ice.

Remember, parents, if a nude statue looks like this, it’s probably safe for the kids. Since it’s probably copied from something you see in an art museum.

2. There’s nothing more noble than a knight on the ice.

Doesn’t hurt if he’s lit up in green. Nevertheless, wonder if he’s the green knight from Arthurian legend.

3. A graceful peacock stands with utmost decorum on his perch.

Of course, he doesn’t seem too showy about his feathers. Because he doesn’t need to brag how awesome they are.

4. Looks like we come across a fierce dragon rider battle.

Think of this scene as something you’d see from How to Train Your Dragon if it was rated R. Yeah, you’d totally see something like this in it if it was.

5. A Christmas tree can always dazzle in white ice.

And this one certainly seems to be for a Christmas celebration. You have to admire the craftsmanship here.

6. This ice couple surely seems to be in the Christmas spirit.

Though they kind of look Russian to me. Love the ice tree though.

7. Here we come to a cougar on a ledge.

This one could easily be used for my high school reunion. Not that I would care. Nevertheless, I think it’s quite lovely.

8. An ice coach always shines quite well in a pink light.

Sure it’s not quite Cinderella. But it’s certainly not too bad. In fact, it’s quite fancy.

9. The light is always bright on this dancing ice princess.

Unfortunately, it’s probably not Anna or Elsa from Frozen either. Still, she’s beautiful nevertheless.

10. Perhaps we can have this grasshopper just hop right in.

Yes, they do have ice sculptures for insects. Though it’s not what many people would want at their weddings.

11. Here you come to a peacock with his feathery display in all his glory.

Helps that he has blue and green lights shining on him. Love the detail, too.

12. The New York City skyline doesn’t get more glimmering than this.

Yes, it’s a beautiful beacon as you can see. And here we have the Empire State Building standing out.

13. Wonder what he’ll find while looking through his telescope.

Think this is supposed to be Galileo looking through his telescope. Love how it’s lit in bright colors.

14. An ice angel always flies gracefully.

Well, certainly looks great transparent anyway. Love the detail on the wings.

15. A wedding ice sculpture should always look festive.

Like I said, you see a lot of these are often used in weddings. This is probably true if both bride and groom are members of the Polar Bear Club.

16. It’s always nice to hear a bluebird sing.

I think this one is from some Japanese folktale. But I think it’s quite beautiful.

17. Cupid is always an agent of love with his bow and arrow.

Of course, in Greek myths he looks nothing like this. But people have him depict this way just because the little baby angel motif is cute.

18. The great bear and St. Basil’s are always symbols of pride for Russia.

However, they’re also known for hacking other countries’ elections and the despotism of Vladimir Putin. It’s a pretty unfortunate case.

19. Looks like this chainsaw sculpture is of a chainsaw.

Now that’s kind of redundant. I mean who does a chainsaw sculpture of a chainsaw?

20. There’s nothing better on Christmas than a sleigh on ice.

Well, it’s surely one to inspire Christmas cheer. But one that’s not great for presents.

21. A Native American hunter always carries a bow and arrows.

And she seems quite dangerous to some animals in the forest. Still, very stunning, I’ll say.

22. The mighty moose is a rather humble creature.

And nothing’s more iconic than a male moose with his large antlers. Hope it never crosses your path when you’re driving.

23. There’s nothing more vain than an Asian dragon.

Well, Asian dragons aren’t like the European ones. But this is quite remarkable to behold when it’s against the light.

24. Ariel on ice is sure to bring you under the sea.

This is obviously from The Little Mermaid. Mostly because Ariel has red hair like this statue.

25. Fans of Frozen may enjoy this ice sculpture of Kristoff and Sven.

Well, this is the one from Frozen I actually have. And I think it’s a good likeness.

26. This ice leopard carries brilliant blue spots.

And what brilliant spots this leopard has indeed. Still, why blue? I would’ve thought orange or yellow would be better.

27. If you have a more biblical taste, here is an ice sculpture of Jonah and the big fish.

It’s more than likely that Jonah was swallowed by a whale not a big fish. But I have to admit, this looks pretty awesome.

28. Under the sea, a mermaid finds a mysterious pearl.

Well, this is a lovely mermaid scene. Not sure why it should be in ice though.

29. An ice nativity scene will make your Christmas a true holy night.

This one has all the touches as you can see. Love how the light shines upon the figures. Beautiful.

30. Nothing can be stunning like an ice flock of geese at your path.

Well, this is surely a sight to behold. love the detail on the geese. Lovely.

31. A large frozen snowflake is always a beautiful sight.

Great for any winter party you might attend. Love how the light shines upon it.

32. Now this Cinderella ice sculpture seems straight from a fairy tale.

Here we have the prince presenting her with the glass slipper. As to why they remained after the ball while nothing else did, I have no idea.

33. An angel at a harp is always a heavenly sight to see even in green.

Yes, you see a lot of angels in ice sculpture. Maybe it has something to do with Christmas.

34. A winged archer is ever stellar when immortalized in ice.

Now this is what Cupid, I mean Eros looks more like in Greek mythology. I know people might be pleasantly surprised.

35. It’s always a lovely sight to see two seahorses bonding together.

Of course, this consists of the female seahorse leaving her eggs in the male and leaving him holding the bag. We’re pretty sure it’s because producing the eggs is exhausting for her.

36. There’s nothing better suited for ice than crystals.

After all, ice crystals also sparkle when you put a light to them. Love this.

37. Spider Man fans would be pleased with their favorite web slinger on ice.

And this resulted in fewer injuries than in the Broadway production. Still, this is great.

38. Seems like the water froze from that faucet.

Well, at least they put a clever spin. But freezing water from a faucet isn’t funny in real life.

39. How about the sight of an ice bird in a cage?

This is surely stunning. I mean you have to admire how someone could pull this off. It’s amazing.

40. Hope you’d like to climb aboard this polar express.

Yes, they have an ice train. And this one seems to resemble an old steam engine.

41. There’s nothing more graceful than a reindeer encased in ice.

Of course, I had to include a unicorn in this post. Since I didn’t have one in the last ice sculpture post I did. Lovely in the purple light.

42. There’s nothing more gallant than an ice stag.

Doesn’t hurt if there’s bright lights shining through it. Must be used as a Christmas decoration.

43. A frozen butterfly is a thing of beauty.

I think it would shine brighter in a darker background. But this is good enough.

44. This Star Wars ice display is squarely on the Dark Side of the Force.

Yet, it’s lit with purple light for some reason. Hope Vader stops the Emperor from gaining ultimate power.

45. You seek Yoda ice.

Excellent likeness, it is. Last it will not.

46. This seashell ice sculpture has plenty of sections.

Well, it’s very much like a shell but more translucent. Love it.

47. This ice sculpture of an owl will surely be a hoot.

Owls are always pretty neat. Love the detail on the wings.

48. Nothing makes your meal like an ice Kitchen Aide mixer.

Well, you can’t cook with this. But you have to admire how it looks in lights.

49. For Formula 1 fans, you might like to see an ice sculpture of this.

This is an ice sculpture of a Formula 1 race car. It’s a kind of auto racing that’s popular in Europe, by the way.

50. Bet you’d never see ice that’s faster than a speeding bullet.

Of course, there’s no way I could ignore an ice rendering of the Man of Steel. Yet, it might send your party crashing like in the recent movies.

51. A couple like this can only inspire love.

First, I think both of them are naked. Second, let’s just say anyone under a certain age will find out when they’re older.

52. Fans of The Lion King will adore this ice sculpture.

Not sure if it’s supposed to be Simba or Mufasa. Probably Simba since he’s the main character. Not that it matters.

53. A shuttle launch has always helped mankind reach for the stars.

Unfortunately, NASA has retired the shuttle program. However, at least space geeks could appreciate this ice statue.

54. This ice sculpture brings in the spirit of the Winter Olympics.

This was at the Alberta snow and ice festival in 2014. Vancouver had their Olympics that year.

55. A lovely harp should always have a beautiful bird on top.

Well, this is surely beautiful if you ask me. The bird is incredibly stunning.

56. A woman would have to be brave to ride on such a ferocious beast.

Not sure what kind of creature it’s supposed to be. But whatever it is, it looks awesome.

57. A porcupine ice sculpture has plenty of shiny quills.

You have to admire the craftsmanship on this. Because I’m sure getting those quills out isn’t easy to carve.

58. An ice Empire State Building never fails to impress.

Nothing says New York City like it’s most iconic building. Unless you count the Statue of Liberty.

59. An ice maiden with her own column is simply a goddess.

Then again, she’s probably a Hindu goddess from what I can tell from her features. But it’s nonetheless incredible.

60. Don’t like seahorses? How about a hippocampus?

Well, a hippocamus unicorn. It’s basically a mermaid version of a horse if you get my drift.

The Enchanting Winter Wonderland of Snow Sculpture (Second Edition)

Posted by historymaniacmegan on December 15, 2016

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Moving on to snow sculpture which is another seasonal art form. Yet, unlike building a snowman, building a snow sculpture in my area is almost impossible. Unless the sculpture is quite small. But that’s nothing compared to snow sculptures in other parts of the world where they host such events during the winter months. Because western PA doesn’t have the kind of weather for this. Nevertheless, I did a snow sculpture post two years ago and have plenty of pictures left over from it. Since I found a lot of examples of elaborate snow sculpture. And this was before I started using Pinterest. So for your reading pleasure, I give you another assortment of snow sculptures that will make your snowman seem tame in comparison. Hope you enjoy it on a snowy day like I have at home.

What’s better than a ship in a bottle? How about a snow ship in a snow bottle?

Not sure how much it took to make it. But it’s nonetheless incredible to see.

2. With horses like these, it’s hard to think they’re not real.

Well, they certainly blend in with the landscape. At any rate, they’re certainly stunning.

3. Seems like someone is clinging to a lamp post today.

Seems like the dog couldn’t resist following him. What’s a poor animal to do?

4. Wouldn’t you think it strange to see a dolphin on the pavement?

I would certainly say so. But this dolphin is made from snow so it’s nothing to worry about.

5. Don’t mind the farmer. He’s just milking his cow.

And it has the dogs look on. Don’t worry, he’ll get to them soon enough. Though he won’t milk them.

6. The Caped Crusader never abandons Gotham City, especially during the winter.

This Batman snow sculpture certainly looks huge. Then again, he does have an imposing presence. At least he’s not battling a shark.

7. Can’t imagine to see a polar bear at a pipe organ.

Now that looks incredibly strange. But quite fitting if it pertains to snow and winter.

8. With one piece of snow, one can carve a block of roses.

So far as they know their way around with a snow blower. At any rate, this is amazing.

9. Didn’t think a sphnix would go for a hat like that.

Of course, you'd find no such thing on a Sphnix in Egypt. So it's more of a unique artistic expression here.

Of course, you’d find no such thing on a Sphinx in Egypt. So it’s more of a unique artistic expression here.

10. Even in the cold, you can find so many animals at the zoo.

This is a zoo snow sculpture by the way. Yet, all the animals are in rich detail. So see for yourself.

11. “Well, I ain’t scared of no grizzly bear.”

That’s a good example of famous last words as far as this scene is concerned. Please tell me this is a tribute to Hugo Glass from the Revenant.

12. A wolf always stands on all legs to howl.

Well, this wolf is in a more geometric carving design. But it’s still quite a sight to be seen.

13. Bet you never saw a puffer fish like this before.

Yes, puffer fish might look adorable to look at. But don’t frighten them since they’re all covered in spikes.

14. My guess this is a scene from Moby Dick.

Because it seems to involve harpooning a whale in a book. Still, Captain Ahab is a guy you wouldn’t want to work for at all.

15. Can you take a look at these giant snow shoes?

Well, tennis shoes aren’t great for snowy weather. But these certainly take the cake in sculpture.

16. This seems to be a fitting tribute to any ice queen.

Well, an ice sculpture would be more like it. But a snow sculpture is good enough.

17. How could the lights be on in this snow car?

My guess is that they built a snow car around the car. At any rate, it’s quite creative.

18. This little snow piggie is almost impossible to resist.

You have to admire its cute little eyes and snout. Still, pigs can be quite nasty creatures if they’re in a bad mood.

19. Here we go to Snoopy relaxing in the snow.

Though he usually rests on top of his dog house. But this is quite a snow sculpture I had to put on this post.

20. Nothing seems to have grandeur during the winter like a dragon.

Yes, this is quite the magnificent dragon to behold. Just have to admire the wings. Stunning.

21. Seems like someone left behind their canoe.

Then again, it seems to resemble a kayak. And it appears Indian made in the US.

22. Hope you find yourself at a nice warm fire at this cozy cabin.

Okay, it’s made out of snow and won’t make you warm or cozy. But it has a lot of great artistic detail.

23. This shrine brings in the glory of the Olympic Games.

Since it’s said to be from the Harbin festival, my guess is it’s from 2008. When China hosted the games in Beijing that’s famous for it’s high rate of air pollution.

24. A unicorn always looks magical in the winter.

This one was made in someone’s yard. And it’s topped with an ice horn for good measure.

25. Take what you may but you have to admire Lady Liberty’s sense of humor.

Well, she can be quite the tease. Still, this is a rather amusing snow sculpture if you ask me.

26. An snow sculpture like this shows the glory of China.

I showed part of this sculpture in a post 2 years ago just for the winged horses. But yes, this is certainly for China.

27. Fat Buddha sits proudly on his snow throne.

Or is it Budai who’s often mistaken for Buddha? At any rate, you can tell it’s from an Asian nation.

28. A Japanese pagoda snow castle always shines in the night through light.

Well, it’s certainly a stunning sight to see. But yes, this is a Japanese castle.

29. Never thought I’d ever see a large lobster like that in the winter.

Another sculpture done in someone’s yard. Now this is just insane from how I see it. This is especially since it’s red.

30. This headless angel is surely a sight to behold.

Well, this is a rendition of a Nike sculpture. And by that I mean the Greek goddess, not the shoe. Not sure what happened to her head.

31. This sailor seems oddly calm just above a shark.

I hope this isn’t a tribute to Jaws. Because I have an idea what will happen to that guy if it is.

32. A Chinese dragon looks no more magical than in the snow.

Yes, the Chinese surely have elaborate dragons in their artwork and celebrations. This one is no exception.

33. Think of this is Jurassic Park on ice.

Well, in snow sculpture form anyway. Chances are, T-Rex messed with the wrong triceratops.

34. Not sure where her skin ends or where her dress begins.

It’s as if she rises from the snow almost organically. That can’t be right since she’s obviously carved from a block on a pavement.

35. Nobody could ever resist this little snow bear.

Almost seems like a polar Winnie the Pooh. Still, it’s so cute you just want to give it a hug.

36. Someone must’ve messed with the wrong shark.

Yeah, chances are you’ll never see that swimmer again. Wonder why I see so many snow sharks.

37. A horse can get you through a lot of rough places.

But spook the one you’re riding and you’re as good as dead. Still, not sure what the horse is doing here.

38. Santa Claus always loves to see the little children.

Well, I had to include Santa here somehow since it’s the middle of December. But not sure what to make from this one.

39. This snow frontiersman explores the West.

The American ones always seem to have a certain folk style about them. Not exactly sure why.

40. Here we come to a castle tower sitting above talking trees.

Well, that’s a bit strange. Then again, maybe it’s an artistic rendition of Isengard. That might explain a lot.

41. A snow swirl seems rather abstract.

For me such snow sculpture pieces are only of decorative value. But it’s quite interesting to see nevertheless.

42. Never saw a rose window tower by itself before.

This is another abstract piece. But it’s a beautiful one to see if you get my drift.

43. This little bear wants to take your picture.

Well, I’m sure cuteness factors in to this bear with a camera set up. But I know many of my viewers would enjoy looking at it.

44. A barge hauler’s work is hard as the day is long.

This is called “Barge Haulers on the Volga” and it’s certainly made by a Russian artist. Not sure if this is from a painting or what.

45. Try roasting marshmallows over this open fire.

Okay, it would probably not go anywhere. But still, a snow fire is quite awesome.

46. In case you couldn’t find a more snowy tribute to man’s best friend.

Yes, it almost looks like a giant bull dog. Still, let’s hope the artist isn’t one of those obsessive pet owners.

47. It takes two hands to make a heart.

This one uses two giant hands made out of snow. But it’s guaranteed to warm your heart.

48. Ever thought about climbing aboard a giant turtle?

Well, you can surely climb aboard this large snow turtle. You read that right. Nevertheless, it’s incredible.

49. We all should know how Rapunzel lets down her hair.

Well, she does have a very long strand that she keeps in a braid so it won’t get tangled. Though she must be lonely in that tower.

50. There’s nothing as magnificent as a glorious owl carved from snow.

Now that’s a beautiful owl as I can see. Love the detail on the wings.

51. Can there ever be anything more graceful than two eagles in flight?

Not exactly sure what these eagles are doing (though I bet it’s some mating ritual). Still, this is such a magnificent work of art.

52. Here we have penguins all in a row.

I don’t think that’s a penguin parent and chicks. Because as far as I know they only have one a year in Antarctica. A puffin family makes a bit more sense.

53. Wonder what that moose is looking for.

Let me guess, food, a mate, or somewhere to avoid a bear. Yet, he also drinks from a mug.

54. Wonder what’s cooking in this witch’s brew.

Not sure what it is. But my best guess is nothing you see from Harry Potter.

55. A Shinto shrine is always simple but elegant.

Well, it certainly resembles a Shinto shrine as far as I’m concerned. But it does have a dash of simplicity to it.

56. When there’s trouble, it’s Buzz Lightyear to the rescue.

Like how he has an ice helmet. Still, this is gigantic from what I see here.

57. An elephant always protects her calves.

Well, her calves and her family calves as well. Nevertheless, while female elephants are relatively calm, don’t mess with them.

58. A snow angel stands out with flowers any day.

Well, this snow angel does. Though flowers are an odd choice for a winter motif.

59. This Russian snow sculpture shows two glorious birds.

One of these has to be the firebird. Not exactly sure which one. Love the castle though.

60. Snow totem poles always look spectacular.

And I can’t argue with that. Still, love what’s surrounding these snow poles. Stunning.

Frosty the Snowman and His Friends (Second Edition)

Posted by historymaniacmegan on December 15, 2016

Since snow has now come to my area with freezing temperatures, I thought it wouldn’t be more appropriate than to do some second edition posts on snowy creations. After all, though it might be the holiday season, the snow and ice will be with us for awhile. And next month, the US will say goodbye to President Barack Obama and make way for a series of unfortunate events. Besides, winter stuff is kind of expected in December since it’s the Christmas season. Anyway, though it might not be appropriate weather to build a snowman where I live, that’s not to mean they don’t pose a significance during the winter. After all, seeing one at a lawn will put a smile on your face. But as I know from two years ago, there are plenty of people who build snowmen with their own unique spin. And for your reading pleasure today, I give you another treasure trove of Frosty’s friends guaranteed to melt your heart. Because there are some things worth melting for as Olaf would say in Frozen.

Funny how I found this one up a tree.

What’s he hiding from? What’s he doing up there? And when will he get down?

2. This guy seems like a real square when you see him.

Since he’s made from snow blocks. But over time he’ll get a bit round around the edges before eventually melting into a puddle.

3. This snowman just wants to enjoy a day at the park with the kid.

You have to like how they put the snow kid in the little swing seat. That’s so adorable.

4. This woman decided to build a snowman to honor her special friend.

Unfortunately, her special four legged friend doesn’t seem too amused by her snow dog creation. Still, it’s a work of genius.

5. You can never pile enough snowballs to make a snowman.

This is supposed to be the Cat in the Hat from Dr. Seuss. However, I tend to think otherwise despite the goofy Seuss hat.

6. Seems like this snow sheik has taken to some destructive habit.

Yes, he’s taken to hookah all right, which is a kind of tobacco smoking. And yes, it’s bad for you. But stereotypes aside, this is hilarious.

7. This snow couple knows how to get the job done.

This may be seen as a cute snow couple. But I like how the snow lady wears her dress and carries a rolling pin. And how the snowman wears a pot for on his head.

8. This military snowman knows how to lock and load.

If this guy wasn’t dressed as a soldier, I’d feel very uncomfortable. Because I don’t see assault rifles as a civilian weapon at all.

9. This cowpoke doesn’t mind being snowed in.

In fact, he kind of prefers it in the pasture. Still, love how he has cowboy boots. This is great.

10. What you mean a snowman can’t breathe fire?

Now that is something I need to see. Because we all know what happens to snowmen near flames.

11. Who wants to ride in a wheelbarrow?

Sure it might require stuff from your garden shed like a wheelbarrow. But I have to admit this is adorable.

12. The Mexican bandito snowman has come from south of the border.

I know this may offend some people like the “stinkin’ badges” part of The Treasure of the Sierra Madre. But c’mon, you can’t blame him from getting out of a place with winters above freezing.

13. Nothing beats a day at the patio.

Okay, they’re drinking under an umbrella and the woman’s wearing a bra. Still, I think it’s quite amusing if you ask me.

14. This snowman would like to know what life is from the inside.

Unfortunately, he wouldn’t be able to experience it. Since he’d melt as soon as he came in.

15. Guess this snowman doesn’t like what he sees from the window.

Yeah, I think it’s sometimes unwise to pry into people’s privacy. This guy learned the hard way.

16. This punk snowman is just chillin.’

Not sure what he’s listening to. But I’m sure he doesn’t have the new iPhone that doesn’t have a headphone jack. This is clever.

17. “Four snows and seven years ago…”

However, don’t expect snow Lincoln to emancipate you from any snowstorms this year. Still, this is a great likeness.

18. Seems like this guy’s going through a brain freeze.

Then again, he probably has other worries like wondering about the melting point. Still, like how he sits on the bench.

19. Oddly, Homer seems to enjoy the winter.

Actually this is a snowman Homer Simpson so it’s no wonder. But it really resembles him.

20. Looks like Halo is waiting to take action in his winter of his discontent.

This is from a popular video game series which I’m not familiar with. But I’m sure readers would enjoy this.

21. This snowman really has it on the ball this time.

Now I’m no fan of golf and I’m sure this guy was made for a country club. But I do find this display amusing.

22. Bet she can stuff her bra with snowball enhancements.

Yes, I know many might not think it’s appropriate. Still, I hear she’s quite popular with the Polar Bear Club.

23. “Did anyone call for a pizza?”

I’m sure the pizza was used just for the photo as far as I’m concerned. Still, would you take pizza from a snowman?

24. This man always is always fir for the slopes.

Wonder if he’s from Colorado. Then again, I shouldn’t stereotype by his hair and how he likes to ski.

25. Nothing beats an afternoon on the porch.

Another snow couple in swimsuits. The guy seems to recline with a drink in hand.

26. These two snowmen are ready to rock on with their guitars.

Guess they’re really rocking for a blizzard if you know what I mean. Still, this is quite creative.

27. “Help! Help! I’m sinking!”

Well, perhaps snowmen know what it feels to be snowed in. Like how one waves his stick arms in panic.

28. Hold on tight for it’s going to be a bumpy ride.

A snowman has to hitch a ride somehow. Because he can’t be in where there’s seatbelts or he’d melt.

29. Don’t worry, this snow lady will feed the chickens.

And here she is with her bucket in tow. Have to love her pink outfit as well. So cute.

30. “Can someone take me to the North Pole?”

Unfortunately, the North Pole hasn’t been doing well recently due to climate change. And it has taken a great toll on the polar bears.

31. Oh, no, there’s been a hit and run!

Well, I did a hit and run snowman scene before. Still, this is kind of crazy but funny.

32. Introducing you to Sister Frostina.

Well, she’s created by a group of nuns and in a nun’s habit. Who says nuns don’t have their fun?

33. This snowman loves to go on a bowhunting excursion.

Yes, bowhunting is a thing. Just ask my neighbors. Still, I don’t think there’s a lot of hunting during the winter other than for critters.

34. Even snowmen can engage in the occasional frat boy hijinks.

Drinking out of a keg? Yes, plenty party guys do it. But it’s stupid and might cause you to black out drunk.

35. Of course, some snowmen are kinkier than others.

Given the popularity of Fifty Shades of Grey, I couldn’t resist this one. But a BDSM snowman might lead to many calls from parents.

36. These snowmen shall not be moved.

You’d think these snowmen would be protesting climate change. Because they’d certainly be affected by it.

37. This snowman always loves to raid ships on the high seas.

Well, the high polar seas, anyway. Because he’d surely melt if he’s closer to the Equator.

38. Oh, my God, they’re coming for us!

Remind me not to buy a home where there’s an Indian burial mound on top of it. Still, this is so creative.

39. Did that thing just eat a kid?

Yes, there are people who do demented snowmen like this. A sure sign that a neighbor has watched too many horror movies.

40. With this snowman, it’s to infinity and beyond.

Now that’s a really good Buzz Lightyear. Hope he knows that he’s a toy snowman and not something else.

41. Don’t mind him, he’s just going places.

Here he’s in with a bike jacket and helmet. Wonder how he puts the pedal to the metal with his snow legs.

42. These guys are just taking a break from a long day.

Funny how they’re made from the snow that covers the chairs. Doesn’t seem to take much work to do.

43. Someone must’ve had a few too many.

Look, a drunken snowman may be funny. But a drunk person passed out like that isn’t. If your see someone like this, you might want to consider calling 911.

44. Seems like that tree really got in his way.

I know this is a sick and twisted way to build a snowman. But somehow it works by having a tree grow out of him.

45. These snow people always stick to the good old ways of their ancestors.

Yes, this is an Amish snow family. Yes, they’re quite plain. But you should see them do a snow barn raising.

46. Seems like this snowman should hit the shade on late night.

Conan O’Brien would be proud of this. Like how they did the flaming red hair.

47. This snow woman always wants to do the hula.

However, she wouldn’t be able to don the grass skirt in Hawaii. Because it doesn’t have snow compatible weather.

48. Looks like someone crashed in the wrong place.

This was just made from a mound of snow. Still, he seems to have no worries.

49. “Can you help me get to Florida?”

Uh, I’m not even sure if this guy should even go there. Unless he wants a death wish since Florida isn’t known for snow.

50. Not sure if doing a handstand on a Jeep is a good idea.

Well, I have to admit, it’s a pretty interesting concept. Like the earmuffs and boots.

51. This guy’s just chilling with the morning paper.

Not sure if it’s a great time to read the paper in snowy weather. But to each his own.

52. Guess this one is “Always Look on the Bright Side of Light.”

Because from the sign, this snowman isn’t long for this world. But doesn’t seem to care.

53. I don’t know about you but do snowmen ever get constipated?

This one seems to be from the looks of it. Not sure if I’d like to see it.

54. This snowman is guaranteed to pump you up.

Sadly for him, he’ll probably be busted for performance enhancing drugs. You know how body builders are.

55. So is this how a Renaissance artist would build a snowman?

Okay, to be fair, not all of them lived in Italy. But imagine the great Renaissance snow masterpieces that we’ve missed since photography wasn’t invented then.

56. “Jack be nimble, Jack be quick, snowman under limbo stick.”

Getting under a limbo stick is tricky. But it’s especially difficult if you’re made of snow.

57. Not sure what these snow people are thinking about right now.

For interpretation is in the eye of the beholder. Still, love the little ones surrounding them.

58. What’s this poor soul to do in the winter weather?

Seems like he’s a homeless snowman sleeping on a bench. And he has some booze with him.

59. Even snowmen love to have some winter fun to themselves.

And look, they’re playing snow angels. As if they’re frolicking in their own flesh.

60. There’s nothing like a walk with the dog.

Maybe so. But this dog has evergreen branch ears and tail. I know many will love this.

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The Lone Girl in a Crowd

The thoughts and perceptions of an aspiring writer on life and the world around her

Category Archives: Just for Fun

The Wonderful World of the Teddy Bear (Second Edition)

Fall in Love with These Valentine’s Day Craft Projects (Second Edition)

The Wonderful World of Vintage Valentines (Fourth Edition)

The Patchwork World of Quilts

The Squeaky Clean World of Shower Curtains

What I Want for Christmas Letters to Santa

The Sweet Candy World of Gingerbread Architecture

The Enchanting Winter Wonderland of Ice Sculpture (Second Edition)

The Enchanting Winter Wonderland of Snow Sculpture (Second Edition)

Frosty the Snowman and His Friends (Second Edition)