NCAA College Athlete Exploiting Merchandise (Third Edition)

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Unless you’re a college athlete who actually plays the sports on a scholarship, NCAA Division 1 college sports are a huge business, especially in the college stores since they’re always in need of money and awareness of their team’s fanbases. In many places people are more attached to their college team than their pro team, especially in West Virginia and Alabama. And nowhere is it more prevalent than in the gear. Nonetheless, given the fans’ mentality to buy absolutely anything with their favorite team’s logo, you’ll find lots of gear ranging from the normal jerseys to the utterly ridiculous. Whatever they offer, you name it. And in the years I have covered college sports merchandise, I’ve seen plenty. So for your reading pleasure, I give you another treasure trove of crazy college sports merchandise with proceeds not going to a single college athlete. Most of these are from Division 1, naturally.

 

  1. Set your drink down on this Penn State table.

From the looks of it, seems to resemble an end table. Yet, a cheaper version doesn’t have the Penn State logo.

2. LSU snow people always give a friendly greeting.

Despite that it doesn’t snow in Baton Rouge. Yet, the snow people are nonetheless adorable.

3. For your wedding, Penn State garters always do the trick.

For some reason, I don’t think sports merchandise have a place at weddings. But that’s just me.

4. Gators fan would love this gridiron table.

Perfect when you have people over for the game. Yet, it’s not up to my taste.

5. Drink your coffee in this fancy Penn State cup.

This one is a regular cup. Yet, the design is quite fancy and unnecessary.

6. Be your own hero with this LSU Tiger superhero outfit.

Not sure why the NCAA has to sell superhero gear. Since it seems like a classic cash grab.

7. Keep your drinks cold in this Penn State mini fridge.

This one has a cushioned door. Yet, a plain one would cost less money.

8. Ride around the course in this LSU golf cart.

The seats are purple while the outside has stripes. Yet, I’m sure it’s more expensive to rent than one on a golf course.

9. These Penn State handbags are all the rage at State College.

You’d almost think this is by a designer. Until you see the Nittany Lion logo on it.

10. Keep your beer secure with this Penn State cozy.

Even comes with a zipper and a lovely pattern. Still, I think a regular one would be cheaper.

11. Share toast with these Notre Dame wine glasses.

Each glass has a shamrock and a Notre Dame logo. Perfect for drinking at an Irish game.

12. Look spiffy in this Michigan suit shirt.

Sorry but this looks incredibly lame. And I wouldn’t be caught dead in it.

13. Keep your hands warm in this Penn State muff.

However, we have gloves for a reason. Though the interior appears fuzzy.

14. Bring your tailgate lunch in this Penn State backpack cooler.

Keep in mind that most stadiums don’t like when you take food inside. Yet, most of the concession stand stuff is way overpriced.

15. Take a dip in this Pittsburgh Panthers bikini.

Yet, this one doesn’t seem to have the blue and gold colors that define Pitt. Another thing that irks me is why the product exists.

16. You’ll look chic in these silver Ohio State earrings.

While they may seem elegant, it’s still an NCAA cash grab. And no, I wouldn’t wear these.

17. Have your kid dry off in this Penn State Nittany Lion towel.

This one has a mascot hat on top. And you can fold it into a compact shape.

18. Light up your dining room with this Penn State overhead light.

For some reason I have a lot of Penn State stuff on there. Can’t understand why.

19. Keep your room cool with this Penn State ceiling fan.

Each of these blades is blue and white with the words “Penn State” and its Nittany Lion logo. Yet, a regular one would cost much less.

20. Keep your food cool in this USC Trojan cooler tote bag.

Comes with quite a few compartments. And can be held by 2 handles and a shoulder strap.

21. Get your grill on with this Penn State tool set.

So these will be perfect for a tailgate at Beaver Stadium. Though a regular set will only be half the price.

22. The North Pole always roots for the LSU Tigers.

Yet, you won’t see a single snowflake in Baton Rouge. Though the tiger is cute.

23. Get your bling on with this Mizzou bracelet.

Comes with snaps. But I think this is pretty over the top.

24. Care for a high Pitt bar chair?

This chair has a back with a semi-circular cushion. Yet, a similar model will save you money at your local furniture store.

25. Keep your money safe in this Michigan wallet.

Sports a big yellow M in salute to the Wolverines. Though you’re better off getting a standard one at Wal Mart.

26. A neon clock like this always shines for a fan of Texas A&M.

Yet, to me it’s pretty tacky. Like it belongs in a Texas bar.

27. It’s always game night with this Penn State dartboard.

It’s just wooden doors with a Penn State logo. But I wouldn’t have it in my house.

28. These Wolverine socks are a must have.

Actually, they appear quite terrifying. Seriously, these socks are ridiculous.

29. Any Wolverine fan would love to have this Michigan totem sculpture.

And yes, it’s associated with football for obvious reasons. Still, it’s pretty ridiculous if you ask me.

30. Keep your tires ready with this Texas Longhorn cover.

Guess it’s for a spare tire if you can’t keep it in a trunk. Though a plain tire would do just as fine at half the price.

31. You’ll find plenty of knives in this Arizona State cutting board.

Well, it reveals knives inside. Yet, you can use it to cut anything.

32. Picture yourself at the game with this Ohio State selfie stick.

The concept of a selfie stick is crazy enough. Yet, these take the idea to the next level with Ohio State logos.

33. Always keep warm at the game in these Ohio State ponchos.

And they don’t seem to be the plastic kind either. Hope they don’t come with sombreros.

34. Keep your things safe with this Arizona key.

So you can customize keys to your sports team? Seriously, what will they come up with next?

35. Apparently, your beer can now have a Penn State jersey.

This is getting ridiculous. If your pets aren’t wearing jerseys, your bottles are.

36. No living room can be without this Ohio State couch cover.

Well, this isn’t altogether terrible. Yet, why anyone would buy this is beyond me.

37. Fire up the grill with these Alabama grilling tools.

Comes with its own pack. Yet unlike the previous tools, you don’t see any logos on them.

38. Iowa fans would love to see the Hawkeyes name in lights.

I bet this is in neo lights. Yet, it only displays the name.

39. Keep your hands on the wheel with this Miami steering wheel cover.

Not sure why anyone would need this, Plenty use a plain steering wheel just fine.

40. Keep your food nice and warm with this Notre Dame casserole caddy.

Okay, I can see a reason for this. Yet, I’d pass on one with an Notre Dame logo on it.

41. Don’t go without an Arizona divot tool on the golf course.

Apparently, another piece of team golf gear. Not sure why anyone would need it.

42. Salute your Nittany Lions with this Penn State garden gnome.

This one seems to smile with a foam finger. As if regular gnomes are crazy enough.

43. You can always tee off with these Penn State tees.

They even come in a Penn State jar. And the tees are white and blue.

44. Make your baby a Nittany Lion fan with some Penn State crib set.

Comes with bedding and a blanket. All for your little Nittany Lion needs.

45. Be one with nature in this Miami camo hoodie.

Yet, I don’t think this goes with the environment of southern Florida. Kind of imagine something more swampy.

46. Always tee off with these Notre Dame golf balls.

This sports logos on golf gear is getting ridiculous. Seriously why?

47. Relax in front of the TV in these Clemson leggings.

These are purple with orange paw print leggings. And they’re twice the price as the conventional pair.

48. Light up your home with this stained glass Penn State lamp.

This one has 4 corners. But it’s in a rather Tiffany style.

49. Support your South Carolina Gamecocks with this baseball cap.

Normally, a baseball cap is a normal item. But the inscription on this one will make fans a laughingstock outside South Carolina.

50. Light up your yard with these Florida lawn lights.

Is orange with the Gators logo on it. Not sure why anyone would need it though.

51. Serve your tailgate crew in this Crimson Tide apron and chef’s hat.

And it’s crimson due to its name. Yet, I think this is kind of over the top.

52. Cuddle up on your couch with this square Oregon pillow.

Well, this more for sitting on. But it must be quite comfy nonetheless.

53. Feel free to dine on this Arizona picnic table.

You can even fold it up and take it with you. Perfect for any Wildcats tailgate party.

54. Come to the Wildcat game in style with this Arizona purse.

You can wear it in a couple different ways. Comes with handles and a strap.

55. Enrich your garden with this Texas A&M wind chime.

Mostly consists of can with metal rods attached by strings. Still, not exactly what I’d put in a garden.

56. Know what time it is with this Sun Devils painted clock.

Though one with a Sun Devil motif isn’t in my taste. Someone from Arizona State may beg to differ.

57. On your golf outing, don’t forget to cover your clubs with these college covers.

Each of these is from the South with a mascot head. Yet, these seem a lot like stuffed animals for adults as well.

58. Enjoy hours playing some Texas A&M checkers.

Apparently, the board is in gridiron form with squares in shades of green. Ridiculous or what?

59. Wear the Buckeye spirit on this Ohio State ring.

This one has a heart to express love to Ohio State. Not sure why anyone would want jewelry of their favorite team. Though I’m not exactly a sports person.

60. Keep your remotes together with this Kentucky remote caddy.

Look, I understand a remote caddy is useful. But do you really need one with a college team logo?

61. Celebrate your special day with this Crimson Tide wedding cake topper.

Well, sometimes there are more important matters we must attend to. Yet, I understand the feeling.

62. Keep your car seat in good order with this Penn State cover.

More economical and practical than a car seat. Yet, most seats in cars don’t have covers.

63. Light up your home with this Penn State helmet light.

Yes, another light. Yet, this one is a helmet encased in blue neon, apparently.

64. Make your garden grow with this Ohio State garden stone.

Well, might be nice among the flowers. Yet, a normal garden stone is cheaper.

65. Keep your checks secure with this Alabama check cover.

I’m sure the bank would give these checkbook covers for free with the checks. Still, this is ridiculous.

66. Salute your Tigers with this LSU lawn stencil.

Yes, they have lawn stencils for some reason. Wonder if the kit comes with paints.

67. Support your Hurricanes with these Miami sunglasses.

Has the Miami logo on them. And most likely designed to wear for a game.

68. Wake up in the morning with this Texas Longhorn scoreboard alarm clock.

Wonder if plays the fight song to wake you up. Hour and minute is listed as section and seat.

69. Hold your pants up with these Alabama suspenders.

Nonetheless, these are meant for guys who don’t use belts. Since I don’t know who else wears suspenders.

70. Set your drinks on these Miami coasters.

These are made of metal with the University of Miami logo on it. Though they don’t have the team colors.

71. Any little tiger would love these plush Angry Birds.

Each of these have little helmets on them. Come in 3 different colors.

72. Grace your table with these Arizona salt and pepper shakers.

Each of these has the Arizona logo. A must have for a tailgate party.

73. Get a grip of your clubs with this Penn State handle.

So this is used for a golf club? Still, think this is utterly ridiculous.

74. Have a Hurricane barbecue with this Miami grill set.

These grill tools come in a box with the Miami logo. So you can carry them anywhere with you.

75. Kick back and relax on this Alabama bean bag seat.

It’s crimson and white. Perfect for watching Crimson Tide games from your home.

76. Pay your bills with these Crimson Tide checks.

Look, you can get checks for free at a bank. Seriously, this is just outrageous.

77. Play a game of Texas pool with these Texas A&M balls.

Yet, each of these are in white and maroon with the Texas A&M logo. Not something I’d want in my house.

78. Keep your pool table in peak condition with this Notre Dame cover.

Has a shamrock on it with the Notre Dame logo in gold. Great to drape over your pool table.

79. Share a glass during the game with this Texas A&M wine glass and decanter set.

Consists of a wooden box with a metal decanter and 2 wine glasses. Said to make a great gift.

80. You can always wear a little more color with this Nebraska flower shirt.

Nonetheless, Nebraska is nowhere near a tropical state. Seriously, no flamingos live there.

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