A Series of Unfortunate Events: The Musical – “If I Never Knew You”

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Granted, Fiona isn’t happy about her betrayal or crushing Klaus’s heart either. It’s clear that Count Olaf and Esme don’t respect her as they’re plundering the Queequeg as they speak. Just as the Baudelaires hand over the mushroom filled diving helmet to her so she can use it for her mycological research, Olaf snatches it with intentions of poisoning the orphans until Esme talks him out of it. Yet, he’s also overjoyed since the helmet gives him the potential to use it as a biological weapon for murder and extortion. Meanwhile Esme is stealing Mrs. Widdershins’ jewelry and calling her “Triangle-Eyes.” Fiona is understandably horrified by the whole thing. Fortunately, the question mark object appears on the sonar screen that prompts Count Olaf and his henchmen to leave for their battle stations to get away from it. Now Fiona is alone with the Baudelaires whom she’s supposed to guard and take to the brig. However, whether it’s out of her feelings for Klaus or that the kids were nice to her,  she decides to help them escape. So she picks up her mushroom book says some parting words to Klaus and kisses him on the lips before disappearing into the porthole. Still, whether you love her or hate her, Fiona exists to illustrate that the heroes and villains in our lives are human beings who can suffer lapses of judgement or be swayed into compassion. Nonetheless, while Fiona may not be perfect, but while she betrayed the Baudelaires by going to Count Olaf which put a metaphorical knife in Klaus’s chest, she let them escape them escape him for practically nothing in return.

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The song I selected here is the pop version of “If I Never Knew You” from Pocahontas which is a rendition for a song cut from the movie. It was supposed to be a duet between Pocahontas and John Smith as the latter is about to face execution for killing Kocoum (despite not having a gun on him and that Thomas actually shot him to save his life). In this version, I have Klaus and Fiona say goodbye to each other after what they went through. A fitting end to their tragic time together which was marred by so much more than a gushing river.

 

“If I Never Knew You” (ASOUE Version)

Sung by Klaus Baudelaire and Fiona

Fiona:
If I never knew you
If I never felt this love
I would have no inkling of
How precious life can be

And if I never kissed you
I would never have a clue
How at last I’d find in you
The missing part of me.

In this world so full of fear
Full of rage and lies
I can see the truth so clear
In your eyes
So dry your eyes
And I’m so grateful to you
I’d have lived my whole life through
Lost forever
If I never knew you

Klaus:
If I never knew you
I’d be safe but half as real
Never knowing I could feel
A love so strong and true

I’m so grateful to you
I’d have lived my whole life through
Lost forever
If I never knew you

Fiona:
I thought our love would be so beautiful

Klaus:
Somehow we’d make the whole world bright

Both:
I never knew that greed and hate could be so strong
All they’d leave us were these whispers in the night
But still my heart is saying we were right

Klaus:
Oh if I never knew you

Fiona:
There’s no moment I regret

Klaus:
If I never felt this love

Fiona:
Since the moment that we met

Klaus:
I would have no inkling of

Fiona:
If our time has gone too fast

Klaus:
How precious life can be…

Fiona:
I’ve lived at last…

Both:
I thought our love would be so beautiful
Somehow we’d make the whole world bright

Klaus:
I thought you could ever be so wonderful
You put us through a horrible plight
As my heart breaks for you in the night

Both:
And still my heart is saying we were right

Fiona:
We were right
And if I never knew you

Klaus:
If I never knew you

Fiona:
I’d have lived my whole life through

Klaus:
Empty as the sky

Both:
Never knowing why
Lost forever
If I never knew you

 

 

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